#some shit later and then I woke up

[letsgofoletsgo]

Ho boy

Dream time

#so first off #i had a dream where I discinctly remember Jay kissing me on the neck #so we’re starting off great here #then I had a completly different dream where I saw Luca and Azalea with this group of other people #on some island for some reason #with a very tall fort like house #all cool #not only in this dream #did Luca at one point randomly fall from the top of the fort and sustain no injuries #later on azalea asked him what happened to his right eye #which was fucked up #and he said that he was drugged and had some lense placed in his eye #and the procedure failed #so now his eye is just. fucked #some shit later and then I woke up #holy hell #dream time #just something I wonder

[cosmoknightchaos]

This took me five hours. Click for higher quality

#I sat down to do some Ets sketches and then lost my shit. Woke up hours later with this #Ooops #Ahit #A Hat in Time #Ahit Horalo AU #Characters tagged in order of appearance: #Ahit OC Entropy #Ahit OC Skyscreamer #Ahit Moonjumper #Horalo AU Moonjumper #Rip Flower Man he doesn't actually appear but his area does #Ahit Thor #Horalo AU Thor #Ahit OC Kannaroe #Ahit Timmy #Horalo AU Timmy #Ahit OC Anya #Ahit Mustache Girl #Horalo AU Mu #Ahit Bow Kid #Horalo AU Bow #Marcidoodles

[thethingything]

I really don't like our brain's ability to jump from "I'm going to organise all this stuff and catch up with a bunch of tasks" to "it's time to get stuck in an increasingly distressing thought spiral for several hours, accidentally trigger yourself, then feel like shit because you haven't done anything but also haven't managed to rest".

like please can we maybe have like a nice middleground where we do a few things and then rest for a while and don't experience the full range of human emotions over the course of about 3 hours

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #the thing is that we were feeling pretty good and actually got some stuff done today #and then someone asked how we were doing and we mentioned this #and their response was to interrupt us to be like ''wow it must be nice to not feel like shit all the time'' #before going on a rant about a bunch of stuff including topics that this person knows are triggering for us #so then we got frustrated and triggered and that threw us off and then we got stuck in a spiral over a bunch of stuff #and now we're exhausted and have no motivation to do anything and our brain is still trying to spiral more and we can't focus on anything #sorry for wanting to celebrate actually managing to do stuff after struggling with way worse executive dysfunction than usual all month #and by ''do stuff'' I mean we caught up with some journaling we'd missed #then added a handful of tasks to our to-do list so we'd remember to actually do them later #so a couple of things that are a big deal for us because they help us stay organised but take a lot of focus so we struggle with them #but at the same time they're tasks most people probably wouldn't view as any sort of actual achievement #part of it was also that we woke up with enough motivation to actually do what we'd planned to do today #but so far we've only done like one task from it because then all this shit happened and we haven't been able to do much else

[commanderfloppy]

Ok so you just get concept sketches for now bc I was hanging out with family today but

Meet my Vampire Cowboy

His name is Adir, he just woke up from an ~500 year long nap and is very mad Joko is somehow back.

He has a pistol and a scythe, and likes protecting farms and beating the shit out of Joko’s awakened.

#gw2 #my art #as you can see I felt left out when everyone was showing off their vampires and cowboys #so my brain went ‘what if I made someone who was both?’ #and then the chatacter formulated in my mind #I’ve still got some shit to figure out about him #but for now I know that he was a guy who died in the fight against joko and got brought back by a necromancer #who was trying to figure out how to resurrect the dead with blood magic (make them undead so joko can’t undead them again) #(fire with fire that kind of shit) #then something happened (figuring that part out) #he had a nice long nappypoo #then woke up about 500 years later #I think he was a Dervish in his previous life #and he thinks guns are cool as hell when he discovers them #I’m still struggling to figure out his look #trying to combine cowboy clothes with elonian ones #it is..kind of working

[izzy-b-hands]

If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️

#text post #like it's genuinely nothing just bad takes online some shitty messages in my inbox on here and reddit and not sleeping well at all #attempted a nap i woke up from like tenish minutes ago and it was all a realistic nightmare #in which ct house was somehow connected to nd condo & i kept getting caught on one side or the other at a time #unable to touch or talk to anyone until i was fully on either 'side' for a good while #made the flow of time feel fucked up and i fully expected this to have been a longer nap considering how time felt in there lol #but yeah. I'm trying and im v grateful to y'all waiting for being patient with me. thank u & i promise ill have my shit together soon #(aka might take an edible and just. idek. bake maybe? my brain isn't happy doing anything rn but cookies are always good) #have a potential call with mum later i need to prep for #...worst case scenario i try to nap a bit more and hope i don't wind up stuck in that weird hallway from my dream again #worst bit was the nd cats and my mum and ct cats and Housemate on each side both trying to get me out but couldn't #really don't wanna feel as stuck as i did in this dream but hey!! maybe it's trying to tell me something lmao #not entirely sure what but that's nothing new for me lmao #normally wouldn't post like this for replies but everyone waiting follows me so i figure this reaches everyone easily enough #& hopefully is better/more useful than me going radio silent bc my brain is being a baby abt shit that means nothing lmao

[tortademaracuya]

love being reminded by the "bestie" that keeps being close friends with all the girls that treated me like shit about the other friend not from that group that also treated me like shit and tried to convince others to leave me

#and she talked like it was such a pity i didnt want to try anymore to 'fix' things. i never had a problem with her #she just woke up one day and decided i was shit and deserved no friends while acting like nothing was wrong when i asked #and i didnt even learn she was talking shit until years later!!! #if she doesnt think that was messed uo what does she even think of how their grouo of friends treated me...? #i knew it was being too good a day :/ always end up finding some stupid comment that makes me feel like shit #woooo im unloveable and everyone will end up hating me sooner or later wooooooooo #maybe shes right and both that and the other Incident werent anything and im being an idiot about it #why does it even matter. they were right and its my problem for getting sad that they were saying what a horrible person i am #maybe its true and my presence does ruin everything for everyone. i should just stay home and never go out again #sigh #haunted.txt #maybe its all my fault for not trying hard enough ti earn forgiveness #even though i embarrassed myself so many times to do so and it was her shit friends that kept treating me like garbage #even after saying they forgave me and refusing to give me any apologies

[timaeusterrored]

-

#I woke up thinking I was doing good #then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had a fucking gagging fit #I’m so sick of this shit #why does it even matter anymore #no one gives a fuck anyway! it had nothing to do with me #and yet it’s like destroying me or some shit #idk #it’s only 7am #Andrew delete later please

[vvanessaives]

everyone in the party wondering 'what's inside the black velvet pouch violante so jealousy hides but still has around all the time in the camp?' and violante, in a strange burst of humour she doesn't usually have, jokes around by saying it's smth different every single time someone asks so it became a running joke and everyone just assumes she hides some kind of expensive gemstone or whatever but instead she's hiding the stolen skull of her dead best friend she killed and that she can speaks to sometimes and can hear it speak back at her. insane women and their trinkets u know <3

#rena.txt #vio's to do list to romance shadowheart is: first base gay sex. second base tell her about the skull and see if she freaks out. #she lowkey sleeps with it next to her bed. it's chipped and missing some teeth bc sometimes she gets angry at the mere thought of ruven and #an insane rage tells her to beat the shit out of him but all she has is that skull she btw stole a few months later after the murder #one day she woke up like. i need that skull. the pouch is velvet bc she hates velvet (a way to stop touching it so often) and he hated #velvet as well (a way to bite him in the ass even in his death). #yea i can't play the game yet but this won't stop me from coming up with more details to make vio a bigger freak day after day #WAIT. THIRD BASE: if she didn't freak out at the skull tell her the skull talks...AKFJSKCJSKD #oc: violante

[snowfea]

This week is being mean to me but today while I was looking in despair at a PowerPoint for a presentation due tomorrow I noticed a rainbow, and then a double rainbow outside my window (though you have to squint for the second one because my phone's camera is shit)

So remember to take a deep breath once in a while guys, may you find little moments of joy even when your day is tougher than others

#Featuring: Paris like you never saw it #Belette's life #Pretty much said fuck it to that PowerPoint right after #I woke up with a headache caused by me clenching my teeth as I do every night #It took an ibuprofen and two hours later a paracetamol to take it down #Except it never really went away because I have been clenching my teeth all day #I hope the weather's nice tomorrow so I can go do some jogging a little bit #Looking forward to Friday #Aka the day I'll go to the Fnac and buy myself a treat for surviving the first year of my master's degree #It won't really be done until early June but fuck it #Between the moving and chronic headaches because my gouttière is as good as broken and the chronic pain because my tendons are shit #AND the remembering to water my plant Maya #I deserve a lil treat #Is the treat in question two more books when I already have way too many of them? Yes absolutely #Needed to rant a bit. Sorry

[mejomonster]

What is it about internal pain that hurts so much more than external pain :c

#rant #asterisk here that i think some people find external pain hurts more #just like. man. i can walk off a tackle. i can limp away with a bruise the size of my head #i dont even feel a slice across my skin externally after a second #which is why i dont realize oh shit i have a cut till i shower later and find a 10 inch long cut down my calf oops #but. internal? god my internal pain SO bad a muscle relaxer. a nerve pain med #and max dose ibprofen and tylenol dont do SHIT #pain so bad that when the pain stops i literally fall s #asleep wherever i am cause the pain relief is so Nice my body is exhausted and just goes to sleep at the chance #i wish bodies let me TURN THE INTERNAL PAIN OFF #like YES body! you alerted me! i get it! im injured somewhere inside! stop telling me now! #its hard to treat it when simply existing hurts so fucking much! #anyway my backs been 8-9/10 pain for a month now and i did ab exercises yesterday #in a desperate attempt to relieve pain after lidocaine patch and muscle relaxer and ibprofen didnt help #and i woke up today at 6 am to period cramps. #and somehow. those period cramps hurt MORE then my back pain #to the point my body didnt even register the back pain. then i took ibprofen for the period #(and 800 mg worked eventually thank fuck) and now i feel the backpain nonstop again great -.- #(to be fair i have. excessively bad period cramps mormally. like make you wanna chainsaw off your abdomen #downward bad level cramps. scream for an hour in super hot bath water with 800 mg ibprofen and a muscle #relaxer pain levels. ToT

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I woke up at a reasonable time (8:45am) went to the coffee shop, got some work done on an important project, then called the psychiatrist office AND the bank. All in less than three hours. Who am I? When did a neurotypical ghost possess me? And can it stay forever?

#a maintenance guy was coming to fix my ceiling this morning between 9 and 11am #i didnt want to be here waiting around for that #it gives me anxiety to have a stranger in my apartment at the same time as me #so i woke up before he got here and went to the coffee shop until 11:15 #then i had coffee in me and i was already on a productive roll #so i called my psychiatrist. because i havent been there in a year. so they wont refill my meds until i book another appointment #fuck my psychiatrist. but i need my meds. and i want to ask her about starting with a therapist #but the earliest appointment i could get was March. so. #then i already had my phone out and had made a call so i decided to call the bank #because my debit card jas been missing for weeks now #and my online banking locked me out #so i had to get all of that straightened out sooner rather than later #first thing she asked when i said i lost my card was 'did you look for it?' #no maam. i looked in my wallet to see my debit card wasnt there and i promptly called you /s #yes i looked for my card before i had to go through the horrors of a phone call #but i should be getting a new card sent soon and i unlocked my online banking and i scheduled a psych appointment #damn. the maintenance guy should come more often. it made me do shit #im also doing all of this on about four hours of sleep #and im lucky i got that sleep #took some Vyvanse. last time i took it it kept me up for 28 hours. this time i was able to force myself to sleep at a reasonable time #gonna go take a shower now. isnt that wild. im gonna shower too after all of that

[stinkbeck]

just had the 2 most fucked-up dreams of my life + i feel SOOOO well-rested

#my brain was like 'the shit you're reading sucks. here's some actually good media. <3.' #i woke up from the first one + burst into tears it was so well-done. + then the second one is just. haunting. #like the first one was sort of a political mystery + i only figured out the depth of everything the second before i was killed + then it's #like. how does that guy do his job?? like he killed me too soon bc he liked me or did he?? was that the merciful plan? #when i say 'like' i mean like a teacher likes a student. he was really nice although i knew neither of us could trust the other. #i feel like he only killed me in a public space because i was too endearing when he gave me my journal back + he knew he couldn't kill me #later on our hike if he had the time to think about it

[thethingything]

I just remembered after all the shit earlier with having to figure out whether to go to the hospital, we fell asleep for a few hours and then woke up with stomach cramps so bad we couldn't move and we've had food poisoning symptoms for the rest of the evening. we have no idea what caused this

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #we were fine and then we didn't feel great shortly before sleeping and then we woke up almost screaming so idk #this is me venting about a smaller issue because the hospital and a few other things earlier triggered some stuff #and we've felt like shit all day but kept trying to ignore it but then it eventually led back to stuff that happened back in early June #which I don't think I can talk about on here because I'm not making those triggers public #and I genuinely don't know how we'd trigger tag it properly to avoid triggering other people because yeah it was fucking bad #we had a whole breakdown in a discord vent channel and then barely spoke about it again with anyone #other than like the people who were also there at the time and saw what happened #vent post #<- so I can find this later if I need to

[nexus-nebulae]

ough

#echos #anyway the only reason I'm awake rn is cause i had a semi-nightmare #nothing Bad happened just the leadup to the Bad Things was paranoia inducing enough that i couldn't handle it #i was like. i was staying in a different house. with people i didn't recognize #idk why i was there but i was sleeping in a bedroom that #1) had a very big and easily openable window #2) had TWO doors (one to a hallway one to a joint bathroom connecting to another bedroom) #3) the bathroom door could not be locked #and 4) there were way too many light switches and some of them did not turn on lights. #first night i was there i was so paranoid someone would try to come in #and I'd forgotten to lock the hall door so i was even more nervous #was fine the first night. later the other people in the house tried to get me to use telekinesis that i apparently had #i used it to fuck with a stoplight that was hung up in the house for some reason #made it flick back from red to green really quickly #then it skipped to the next night #i was paranoid that last night people had tried to get in because i saw some weird things #well this night the things happened again #and then people started actually trying to get into my room #the Weird Things were actually signals to other people outside to try and get into my room #and i freaked and went for the light switch by the bathroom door #light switch didn't do shit even though earlier it had #and then suddenly someone tried to come in through the bathroom door #i woke up immediately but was so fucked up on paranoia that i couldn't even go back to sleep #had to grab my phone so that it stopped #brain is still being weird but at least i mostly know what's real and that I'm safe

[el-im]

nico called today and I told him it was a good thing he didn’t end up coming over bc I’m laid up in bed w a 104 degree fever and feeling like all hell and he was like. oh I’m so sorry to hear that. so when can I see you ?

#and I love him #captain's log #I’ve been sleeping in 1 hour intervals since 3 in the morning when I woke up and was in so much pain I couldn’t go back to sleep #so I took a shower and made some tea and soup then went back to bed #only to wake up an hour later and have to pee so I’d do that and make another cup of tea #and that happened over and over again until now which is 1:20 pm #and I’m dreading the nighttime because I know it’s going to get so much worse and I’ve already taken two showers today just to stand in hot #water for an exorbitant amount of time. and now I’m like. maybe I should take an epsom salt bath because I feel like I can’t fucking move #anyway ! mia—who got me sick in the first place—was good enough to go to the store and grab some orange juice and soup so I love her #and interestingly. what I really wanted to talk about #was the fact that in the weird intervals of hour-long stretches of sleep #i dreamed like 8 or 9 episodes of star trek strange new worlds #which. i have not seen an episode of. nor have I seen any of the short treks or discovery so I have no concept of who any of these fucking #characters are beyond what I’ve seen in gifs/a trailer or two #but they were weirdly detailed. #in one spock and hemmer (hemmler??) were competing in a chariot race #and their wheels were made out of warm colored crystal that was orange in the center and graduated into a pink quartz like color at the edge #and hemmer transfigured himself secretly into a serpent when they were riding their chariot next to another one #and he scared the shit out of the rider and they veered off course #at which point he was flung through the air and became himself again #in another one because he has psychic abilities #he had to sacrifice himself by connecting with the psychic creature that was controlling the ship #and only through entering that thing’s mind and destroying it from the inside out was the rest of the crew freed #this also had to do w the episode where they were all in like. fantasy gear and were being forced to act out one of the literary works (?) #of these higher dimensional beings ? Like puppets #*puppets #idk if that’s what was actually happening in the episode because again. i have not seen any snw #but he died basically at the end of that ep by infiltrating their mind and freeing everyone #so

[sunshinecassette]

Is this a good time to try coffee again

#don’t rb 👹 #vent #negative #delete later #-_- #i went to bed at like 11 which is about my usual bedtime #vivid horrible nightmares are basically a nightly occurrence for me and I barely even remember what happened in this one but I woke up #so rattled #full on sweaty and gross with what feels like super thick heavy fog in my brsin #hands shaking. the whole shebang #i sit there for like an hour feelin g so awful but not being able to go back to bed #my mom is leabing for work #at this point #and does some horrible shit unprompted that I’m not gonna get into on my tumblr blog #I’m like ok. start crying. try to go back to sleep after trying to calm myself down for another hour #start shaking and freaking out again the second I try to lay down #I’m so loopy #like when you take too much for a cold and you don’t feel real for anwhile