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#standing up falling down
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Ben Schwartz Characters as The Onion articles
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Bonus Doug!
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eldarsevenstar · 4 months
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I’m so FUCKING EXCITED!!!!! I’m finally going to see Ben Schwartz & Friends! My screams of joy may have legit woken up my toddler and given my husband tinnitus. Whoops. Can’t wait until January!!!!
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🎭 Schwartz Madness 🏀
Semi Finals
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If you’re vehemently disagreeing with tumblr so far, you can still fill out a blanket bracket of your own here! Results so far under the cut
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davidsnipplering · 1 year
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Also here’s a picture of each of them just because
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reachingfortheday · 2 years
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everybody go watch standing up, falling down on hulu it is a gem of a movie
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tctmp · 1 year
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Comedy  Drama
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no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-
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milkweedman · 4 months
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It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.
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ghouljams · 9 months
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Please, dearest parental figure, can we get a snippet of moon and soap after she has decided to come plop in his lap? I love the feral cat metaphor so much.
(Totally don’t have to if you’re not in the mood for it of course)
Yeah let's do some Soap POV cuz I love writing for the boys.
The living room is dim save for the flickering light from the television. Soap leans against the arm of the couch to avoid getting caught in the lovey dovey vibes emanating from the other side of the couch. Ghost takes up enough space on his own without Goose cuddled up next to him. If he cranes his neck he can see you popping popcorn in the kitchen, you lean against the counter in a way he thinks might be unbecoming of someone pretending to be a nun. It's more interesting than the movie anyway. He watches you with his hand against his cheek, and wonders if you're ever going to get it through your head that he's serious about you.
For fuck's sake there's only so much room a man can leave for Jesus before he starts assuming you don't want anything to do with him. Or, nothing with any feeling to it. It's all good fun sneaking around but at some point a fella has to wonder if you're just in it for that, fun.
You're so pretty. You're so damn pretty. Fearless, stubborn, always thinking you know best and so fucking- God. He must be crazy to love you like this. You certainly aren't as consumed by it all as he is. Prickly little- You take the bag from the microwave and dump it in the previously full bowl, stealing a few pieces for yourself. Soap doesn't bother to hide his staring when you catch his eye, he smiles, and watches your expression soften a little before you can catch it.
You make your way back to the living room and hold the bowl out to Goose, who takes it graciously, never taking her eyes off the movie as she grabs a handful of popcorn. Soap assumes you'll take your seat in the armchair again, cozy yourself up with one of the blankets. Maybe you'll even fall asleep, then he could have a reason to ask you to stay the night.
The wheels are turning in his brain, churning out plans and casual asks, when you sit on his lap. Every muscle in his body tenses, too afraid you'll move to even breathe. Move you do, settling a hand on his knee to find a comfortable spot and driving an anxious affectionate stake even further into his heart. You mumble something and start to stand again, Soap can't let that happen.
It's a gamble pulling you to lean back against his chest, spreading his legs a little wider to give you room as you tense under his hold. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Goose move her legs over Ghost's lap, his hand holding the outside of her thigh to give more room. Damn good friends, Soap thinks to himself. You're another issue, settled in his lap, legs neatly between his, and still as tense as a man waiting to be executed.
"Sorry, I'm not," you mumble, a hand on his thigh, a threat that you might try to get up again, "I'm not good at this sort of thing."
"Couldn't give a rat's ass," Soap tells you, quiet as he can manage. He can't make you relax but he can certainly make you more comfortable. He can settle your head against his shoulder, box you a little closer to the arm of the couch, rest his hand on your knee and rub his thumb against the cotton of your pants until you go boneless against him with a soft sigh. You certainly don't feel bad at this, whatever this is. Cuddling, God you're so- Overthinker, he's adding it to the list. Fearless, stubborn, smart-ass, overthinker.
You press your face a little closer to his neck, grip his shirt between your fingers. Cuddly little thing. Soap turns the kiss your forehead, wraps his arm around your shoulders instead of just letting you rest against it. Just like that, he thinks, isn't that nice? All cuddled up like a proper sweetheart.
Just for him. You don't have to be sweet for anyone else, and he sure as hell isn't going to ask you to be. But maybe once in a while you can be sweet for him.
You pull back and Soap's arms tense around you before he feels you touch his jaw. Gentle fingers that draw his attention down so you can kiss him, soft and slow. Christ if he could marry you on the spot he would. Goose can notarize, Ghost can witness, all he needs is a priest. Where the hell is Gaz when he needs him?
"Comfortable?" He asks when you pull away and tuck your head under his chin.
"No." You don't make a move to leave his lap, but Soap didn't think you would. Getting a proper yes out of you is like pulling teeth. He doesn't mind though. You're cute when you try to lie to him.
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GET UP.GET UP.GET UP.GET UP.GET UP
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V1… ultrakill….. my beloved,,,, I am running through the brick wall because I have to draw them
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peachfruitcake · 2 months
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did you hear about what Martin said about Susan and Linda on the Twitter space he hosted on the 27th? i thought of you instantly when he started talking about them and have been waiting for you to post your thoughts! :-)
HEHE YES IM THE ONE WHO’S QUESTION LED TO THAT!!!!!
Now for those who didn’t listen to that space, Martin said that Linda called her to say goodbye but never specified how it went of course. Besides “hey Susan I’m leaving sorry this is really impacting my mental health” “gaaaaaaaaaaey”/j
This is all a personal headcanon but I like to think that their friendship grew incredibly distant ever since Linda married Felix, Susan probably stopped talking to her altogether for a while and it would leave Linda very confused and upset. They might’ve started talking to eachother again a little bit as the series of events began to approach but only very brief small talk, maybe Linda complaining a little and giving Susan a few life updates and them both talking about stuff they’ve been noticing with others lately (especially Felix’s drinking), but nothing deeper than that.
I see Susan being extremely emotionally closed off to most people except maybe a select few that she knows very closely, so if you were to ask her what’s going on in her life she’d give you a very vaguely watered down version and not what’s actually going on or how she’s really managing herself emotionally.
So basically she used to be more open with Linda, but during that period she sort of just started treating her like a stranger.
So when Linda called her first to tell her that she’s finally leaving, Susan acted how she usually would, keeping it calm, understanding and respectful and wishing her luck, but she won’t really show any more than that. Or that she cried later and felt pretty bad that they couldn’t be so close anymore and that she’ll probably never be able to make up for herself acting so distant for the past many years again.
Of course this all comes from how I view Susan as a character myself though and also the fact that I refuse to pass up the idea that she has feelings for Linda. I like to think that she introduced her to Felix cuz Linda was getting more desperate to find a relationship and Susan was getting weird thoughts so in a panic she shoved her off to him so she could avoid the urges. They’ve been boiling within her since highschool and she always was able to push them aside or excuse them as “she’s just my very close friend I don’t have many close friends so she feels extra special” and as the years went by they began distracting her a lot from her work and were growing stronger and more unavoidable aaand they were really beginning to affect how she’d interact with Linda and you see Susan hates feeling like another has any control over her and Linda just wouldn’t shut up about hooooow badly she wants a relationship and hoooow many dates keep failing and Susan was at the point to where she was starting to get the kind of dreams that make you stare up at the ceiling in horror when you open your eyes in the morning so one day when she overheard Felix speaking about being single and wanting to start looking around, she decided to introduce her to him. Susan allegedly never finds a problem she can’t fix in some way so that was her solution.
They hit it off, Susan’s solution isn’t working for some reason cuz she doesn’t feel any relief at all and in fact feels worse but just sucks it up and just focuses on her work and looks the other way. Linda and Felix get married, Susan feels like throwing up the entire day and now feels somehow even more worse by now and suddenly whenever Linda wants to chat she’s suddenly always “busy” every time. Susan’s often busy anyways but you know yourself when there’s a difference between “shit I’m busy that day, let’s do Sunday instead” and “Sorry I can’t, I’m busy”, “I don’t know when I’ll be available.”
While Linda and Felix were dating, Susan probably assumed that she was just jealous that she couldn’t have a little fun at her age herself. When they got married, Susan told herself that she’s probably so depressed over it cuz it’s making her feel like she’s fallen behind others her age and that maybe she feels bitter that all of these people are moving on and going through these important life stages while she remains behind. Which made no sense otherwise cuz Susan couldn’t give any less of a fuck about starting any sort of family or going out. But that’s what Susan would tell herself that she feels so she wouldn’t have to think about it any further. By the time Susan thinks she’s over whatever it was, she begins having brief talks with Linda occasionally. Not often and still a bit distant, but way better than before.
So yeah can you imagine how shitty and guilty Susan felt that whole time of her weird bitterness toward Linda being in a relationship and not being able to approach her much anymore or how Felix turned out to be such a shitty husband.
If this headcanon is aligned with twf’s canon, she’d probably be dead before she even gets to actually acknowledge and accept her feelings as they are. Such is life though. Not like she could’ve done anything about it.
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🎭 Schwartz Madness 🏀
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You can find the blank bracket here. Results so far under the cut
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littencloud9 · 20 days
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forever winter as a kunikidazai song send POST
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davidsnipplering · 1 year
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i think we can all agree that there’s a lot of fuckable David Castañeda characters but if i had to pick my top three i’d pick Martin, Victor and Ruis.
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Martin: 10/10 | Martin is great, caring, and knows his way around. He’s not into one nighters so you guys definitely went on a couple dates before anything happened. Probably the best you’ll ever have so you think about him quite often.
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Victor Suero: 8/10 | Let’s be real…this man has never had pussy before. He’s too busy fighting, working or looking after his sister. Anyways he’s cute, sweet and is a quick learner so he’ll pick up real quick, but he will definitely cry afterwards. PARANOID. Not as memorable as Martin but every blue moon you remember him.
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Ruis : 9/10 | Cocky ass bitch but he knows what he’s doing so its excused. That’s it, that’s all.
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and for my next trick i present... my Grand Tv People Freakout Extravaganza!!! *falls to the floor weeping violently*
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a-wondering-thought · 3 months
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are you the night sky? cause i see stars whenever i stand up
-a very bad pick up line that would not work nor makes any sense but does describe the relationship between me and my brain
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