#tbf i AM dating him

[bbeettle]

i have immense feeling for this boy oh no

#tbf i AM dating him #but like #want him to be my bf pls #ahh!!!! #mwah mwah to him

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Straight up had a dream last night that DC revealed that Bart and Kon were dating and it was in the WILDEST FUCKING WAY.

K, so picture this: Clark needs someone to fly around disguised as him for a plan. So Clark goes through the options in his head: Bruce can't fly, MM is off world, Jon is too much of a twink to be believable, Kara is blonde, Kon is.... Perfect! With a person in mind who would be perfect for his plan, Clark flies off to find Kon.

Cut to Judy Garrick zipping around the Garrick's house. Joan is quietly scrapbooking at the kitchen table and Judy is bored out of her mind. Judy asks Joan if there is anything she can do because she is so unbelievably bored.

Joan responds, very calmly, that she can hear "your brother's boyfriend touching down in the backyard, so why don't you go ask him?"

Judy's face jumps from emotion to emotion as three things are revealed at once. 1) Joan considers Bart to be a son and thus, Judy's brother, 2) Judy's new brother is not straight and 3) Bart has a boyfriend who is in the backyard.

So Judy immediately runs to the backyard and is stunned to bump into Clark (who was there looking for Kon) and then the dream continued on with the two of them hunting down Bart&Kon (who were just at school being normal goddammit!!!) but the entire time Judy is secretly out for blood because she thinks that Joan was referring to Clark and that this adult man is trying to date her new little brother and Judy keeps trying to kill him but it doesn't work because Clark is Kryptonian (and oblivious to the attempted homicides).

Anyway, wild dream all around.

#bruh i cannot control what my brain does in its spare time. i am merely a passenger staring out the window in awe #as the driver does crazy mind-blowing stunts #tho tbf i can lucid dream so occasionally i do fight the driver for the wheel and win #im not even fucking joking tho this was my dream #bart was FUCKING PISSED when they found him because HE HAS A SECRET IDENTITY GODDAMMIT #they can't just fly up to him in school!!! #Judy's shock was also my shock. i literally remember thinking 'dc let them date?!? when the fuck did that happen???' #'and in a SUPERMAN COMIC OF ALL PLACES?!?' #also i don't even think bart lived with joan anymore?? she was just like 'yes this is my son now. max and i share custody' #and you know what? bart can have five+ parents. thats allowed. good for him

[onesidedradiostatic]

Maybe you should have made a poll with Vaggie's Lesbian status as well, consider that that fact wasn't even in the wiki? (Also, extra fact, in the super early renditions of her character she was with Angel, not canon now, but interesting considering we all find her to be lesbian and not bi)

(prev) (poll 1) (poll 2)

the thing with that is like. vaggie is not at the same sort of "unknown" (I guess) status as husk and alastor when it comes to her sexuality like. we KNOW for a fact she is sapphic, she is dating and in love with charlie. so it's narrowed down to she's either lesbian or bi. like. most people who watch the show itself alone would probably assume she's lesbian anyways cause we've only seen her into a girl and no guys

although arguably I'd say you'd be able to guess for alastor too with the rosie dialogue but clearly that is not the case for a lot of people LMAO

but like ultimately no attraction in canon usually = unknown because of devil's proof logic, vaggie has SOMETHING to go off of in the show: her attraction to women, husk and alastor (obviously) don't have any canonical attraction (yes, everyone and their mums love huskerdust but loser baby is not inherently romantic)

I guess there IS something to be said about this kind of logic but idk if it's worth polling cause I can basically guarantee you vaggie being a canon lesbian would be near 100%, like who's going to say it's not canon?

#ask #osrs.txt #although I guess tbf we know for a fact vox is canonically bi #we have not seen him into women yet #idk is it a double standard? #to assume unattraction for one but not the other just cause we haven't seen it? #but uh ultimately the reason I never polled vaggie is cause I am not going to be fighting lesbians over her canonicity #and I'm sure a lot of people are going to be going off the logic that she is dating and in love with a girl so of course she's lesbian #lesbians have their own battles to fight and idk if I want to put vaggie's lesbianism into the fray with alastor's aroaceness #I fear like what impression I'd give off in polling for it like would people think I doubt its canonicity #I took way too long to answer this LMAO

[majorbaby]

that bakery gifset of mine is circulating again and a lot of people are taking note of how genuinely happy frank is about the prospect of baked goods. is that the one time we see frank genuinely want something frivolous or want something for himself that doesn't bring harm or misfortune to another person?

most of the time he's after money, prestige or validation from other people and he's willing to lie, cheat and steal to get it. and even when he does get it, he doesn't seem happy. he's of a higher rank than hawkeye and trapper and he lords that over them but it doesn't bring him lasting happiness, he still wants their companionship and approval.

maybe i've been too sympathetic about his whole 'liking to be liked' it's human nature to want to be liked but no one can reciprocate genuine affection towards frank because he's not putting any of that out there to begin with.

there's margaret but she constantly doubts whether or not frank really likes her several times, and with good reason. he's critical of her looks, he's unwilling to leave his wife for her, "surely i'm worth $240 dollars" sure you are margaret as long as you pay it back with interest. i do think he probably likes her as a person or at the very least is sexually attracted to her, but that's probably less important to him than the external validation he gets from her attentions.

the best thing you can say about most of his desires is that he's far from the only guy who wants all of those things, and he was probably socialized that way. that does not absolve him of his actions.

but he wants pie! and in another episode (quo vadis captain chandler, i believe) he says a prayer for chocolate pudding which, alas, god answers "no" to. the former is a pretty innocent moment for frank, i think that's why i like it.

#i am all aboard the hawnk express but i do wonder about how margaret might feel about that #if it's after she and frank have broken up #she might just say to hawkeye 'hey it's your funeral' #assuming she finds out of course #it's enough of a questionmark for me that if i were writing hawnk i'd probably just leave margaret out of it altogether #i think she'd be entitled to feel some kind of way about her friend dating her awful ex #tbf to hawkeye in this situation (although can we be fair to him at all if he's fucking frank?) he probably has no idea how poorly frank #treated margaret #frank meta #re: mash

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

I need women to flirt with me I can't be the only one flirting with women who are awful to flirt with

#or the one woman i am most likely to date where we went out and were like... #'yea not feeling it rn. rain check?' which tbf lmao rain checked a potential relationship #but like. the other girl was so fucking absolutley repressed up her parents ass that she got a crush on my bestie bc her parents liked him #AND made the joke she was not only dating me but also cheating on me #bc i kept telling her she wasnt brave enough to just peck a girl (me) and when she did it was so fucking boring and turns out shes a nothin #g person!!! she has no personality and doest want to gain a personality other than being edgy!!! while being repressed up her (progressive. #open minded. kind.) parents ass!!! what the fuck!!! why!!!! #:/ can i have a woman i can flirt with and be tongue tied around an dmake out with like im dying pls

[bi-kisses]

Can people give me the run down on the post-post-trial Amber Heard/Johnny Depp situation? I feel as though the consensus is still very anti-Heard, but I've seen interesting info arise about withheld evidence and whatnot. So if someone is... Idk, invested? Lmk what the deal is.

FWIW I thought it was public knowledge that Heard mistreated Depp but that he also has a drug and alcohol problem, on top of being an all around asshole, so I'm not so sure he was a perfect non-abusive angel throughout their relationship.

#i dont think the heard backlash is misogyny uwu also #tbf she is a bitch ass creep with a questionable track record #i think depp having a more beloved career defo made people more vindictive abt his legacy being #quote unquote ruined #kisstalks #he did date winona at what i consider an inappropriate age so i have personal feelings against him #tho she seems fine after the fact so who am i to say #the meatcanyon/papa meat animation was funny

[six-of-ravens]

also I've been putting off this site all week like "meh, I'll get to it in the new year" (and also bc I've spent far too much time attempting to wrangle clients and programmers...why did this get dumped on me and not a PM???)

and today I woke up like "okay I'm going to be nice to 2023 Steph and at least get the header of this site done" but I opened the design and there is a LOT more custom, finnicky stuff than I thought, bc it turns out this site came from the Manchild Coworker who refuses to use the grid system every other designer uses and whines endlessly about how we're infringing on his creative freedoms or whatever when we ask him to follow some basic rules to not only make the site look more cohesive but easier to develop--

anyway sorry, 2023 Steph, you're screwed either way...

#also i am still wrangling clients and programmers so uh. probably not going to get as much done as i hoped anywau #tbf i did tell the PM for this site that i probably wouldn't have much time this week and i got him to push the due date by a week #so i have 9 workdays in the new year which sould be plenty of time... #anyway fuck this week! fuck it! this was supposed to be an easy week how did this go so wrong!!

[neonphoenix]

I am not immune to being obsessed with a fictional man from a shitty TV show. It turns out.

#tbf i am not obsessed with him in the way most people watching the show are obsessed with him #because I do not want this man to take me on a date. no. #i want to stick my fingers in his brain

[skydalorian]

I have a friend at work who is a blonde-dyed-black millennial who is into abstract art and smokes weed and is literally keeping her conservative dad alive while also holding him accountable to her whims and I think I'm obsessed EXCEPT she's a Swiftie.

#I'm not actually going to think little of you/am actually very chill but I appreciate that you #know that I disapprove lol #tbf she's a self-effacing swiftie #I guess we can't all be perfect #She is on tenterhooks with me and I'm like #she also asked my permission to date someone who I was kind of into and I was so touched. Like girl #I am ace as all get out #go for him!!! #he's a neuroscientist and you're an abstract artist and he looked! at your! portfolio! #go for it #anyway she's the best person I know and could get cancer any ol day of the week with her blood disorder #she reminds me to stay present #but also aware that Tswift sucks #If you see this Nat #I don't actually want to date you nor do I don't think of you in that way #But I also adore you

[astonmartinii]

ultimate wing man | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x horner!reader y/n is notoriously single, and her dad decides to take it into his own hands.

masterlist

if you want to leave a tip x

yourusername

liked by christianhorner, danielricciardo and 603,561 others

yourusername: galentines was a must this year

view all comments

user1: this girl cute and rich how come no man has come in for her?

yourusername: i ask myself that everyday tbf i am a catch 🎣

user2: i need to be her friend asap

christianhorner: looking lovely darling as usual

yourusername: thank you papa

yourbff1: thank you for the champagne father horner

yourbff2: thank you for driving to london to pick us up at 2am father horner

yourbff3: sorry for throwing up in the porsche father horner

christianhorner: no worries girls, all will be forgiven if you convince y/n to go on the date i set up for her

yourusername: will you stopppppppp i just got out of a relationship ur not gonna be grandpa for a good fucking while

christianhorner: you can be the one to tell your mum that

yourusername: please your ego can't take being called grandpa

user4: so what i'm hearing is i need to be friends with y/n to get my nights out paid for by christian horner

user5: i know yall hate christian but his relationships with his kids kinda make me like him

user6: no i agree with you, it's super cute and you can't handle that he's just good at his job

maxverstappen1: oh i see, @danielricciardo why didn't we get our tabs covered?

danielricciardo: clearly aren't loved as much here :(

yourusername: i mean i'm his literal flesh and blood

maxverstappen1: but we make him money ???

yourusername: and i spend it?

danielricciardo: so we're funding the galentines benders?

yourusername: eh probably, i do have a job but i'd rather spend other people's money lol

user7: she's so real

user8: she is my professor of girl maths

christianhorner

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 408,943 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo

christianhorner: had to get the grill out for this bank holiday weekend with the family

view all comments

user10: christian referring to max and dan as family sergio i am so sorry

user11: the state of the seasoning makes me think that sergio dodged a bullet

yourusername: thank you papa but disappointed not to see you wearing the apron i got you for christmas

christianhorner: i'm sorry y/n but i'm not going to wear a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron at a family event

yourusername: shame, you wear daniel's merch all the time

danielricciardo: awwww christian i'm blushing

user12: i'm sorry christian horner owns a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron and we haven't seen it

user13: y/n horner you are a national treasure for real

maxverstappen1: woah who are those sexy guys in the last picture?

yourusername: the way i can't escape yall even at family events

maxverstappen1: not our fault ur dad loves us

danielricciardo: though there are definite perks

christianhorner: my cooking skills?

danielricciardo: sure...

user14: christian's obsession with daniel needs to be studied

yourusername: i think it's just a horner thing tbf

user15: HUH?

user16: i mean who isn't obsessed with daniel

liked by yourusername

user17: to be honest i would love for y/n and daniel to be a thing i am TIRED of constantly reading about how her latest bf has cheated on her

user18: for real that girl is in the trenches all the time she needs a good guy

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, alexalbon and 650,450 others

yourusername: not really the dress for a pasta dinner but look at the material

view all comments

user22: miss ma'am i thought we were a no on the dating thing for a while

yourusername: i'm dumb i know but i have a good feeling about this one !!

user23: i think i've seen this film before

yourusername: have some faith my dad picked him so it's not my terrible taste

maxverstappen1: wait so you actually went on the date your dad set up for you?

yourusername: uh yeah when you have taste this bad you need intervention

maxverstappen1: you said it not me

yourusername: you said nothing every time i brought them to the garage

maxverstappen1: not to your face lol i was trying to be nice in front of your dad

yourusername: hmmmmmm well part of me thinks you guys won't have any complaints about this one

user23: i hate that i am so invested in this

alexalbon: so the date happened and lily and i still haven't gotten the debrief yet? i see how it is.

yourusername: bro i just got home and sat down give me some time

alexalbon: let me put the kettle on and then call us

yourusername: i can't promise i can tell you who it was just yet

lilymunhe: you're such a tease !!!

yourusername: gentleman don't kiss and tell

user24: walk with me: christian set this date up, christian loves daniel, daniel and the guy in the picture both have tattoos, daniel usually comments on all of y/n's posts but is silent on this one

user25: get a life (i believe you 100%).

danielricciardo

liked by christianhorner, yourusername and 1,209,667 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: enchante

view all comments

user26: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

user27: daniel really said fuck y/n's soft launch

maxverstappen1: YES the garage owe me $50

yourusername: you bet on who my date was?

maxverstappen1: well i bet even though it was the most obvious thing in the world who your dad would choose

yourusername: my dad has good taste?

user28: it's annoying me how cute this is

user29: i need it to be me next time

yourbff1: father horner can you matchmake for me next please, anyone on the grid will work

christianhorner: my days of being cupid are over unfortunately, pulling this off was way too stressful

user30: you telling me horner gets more stressed over setting his daughter up rather than whole ass races

yourusername: you're lucky you're sexy i had the whole soft launch planned out

danielricciardo: my sexiness has gotten me out of a lot in life

yourusername: it won't get you out of this family dinner though

danielricciardo: oh please your dad is only having dinner so he can see me

yourusername: unfortunately true, at least i love you as well now

danielricciardo: you always did, don't lie

yourusername: yeah but i don't want to inflate your ego any more

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 803,459 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: someone save me from the constant torture of third wheeling

view all comments

user32: max is such a mood, i too become suicidal around any happy couple

yourusername: i don't remember you complaining when we literally made you dinner and hung out with you all night because you were "bored and lonely and wanted to annoy us"

maxverstappen1: *annoy my favourites

danielricciardo: we're well aware we're your favourites, we're the only ones who will tolerate you

maxverstappen1: well when you put it like that it makes me sad

yourusername: nooooo maxy we love you

user33: max using a meme of himself is peak max verstappen behaviour i can't lie

landonorris: wait so where was my invitation?

yourusername: this wasn't an invite only event it was me and daniel trying to have an evening in

maxverstappen1: but i thought you liked that i bought jimmy and sassy :(

yourusername: I LOVE THEM PLEASE HELP ME CONVINCE DANIEL TO GET A CAT

danielricciardo: i love you so much but we can barely feed ourselves and max so maybe we shouldn't be in charge of another living creature

yourusername: can we at least cat sit :(

danielricciardo: of course honey

user34: oh to be drinking wine on the couch with my boy friend daniel ricciardo

yourusername

liked by christianhorner, charles_leclerc and 780,563 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: thank you dad, you picked a good one x

view all commments

user35: i'm so jealous rn don't hit me up

danielricciardo: i think you picked THE ONE

yourusername: he's never going to shut up about this but i'll deal with it to be with you

danielricciardo: i'm blushing y/n

yourusername: i can make you do a lot more than blush

maxverstappen1: CHILDREN PRESENT

user36: this shit is like a straight up fairytale, christian should actually go into professional matchmaking

user37: girl yeah this match was made in heaven but we all know it's because christian LOVES daniel as well

user38: he's been gagging for daniel to be his son in law since like 2014

landonorris: thank god this happened, this man was PINING for so fucking long

danielricciardo: okay like no need to blast me

yourusername: omg you pined too, suddenly i'm not as much of a loser as i once thought

danielricciardo: you were never a loser babe

landonorris: maybe you were if you had a crush on him in 2014

danielricciardo: LANDO I WAS A CATCH IN 2014

yourusername: you've always been a catch babe don't worry

christianhorner: i know what i'm doing, i'm glad you're finally happy

yourusername: thank you dad xx

danielricciardo: thank you soon to be dad xx

user39: WHAT

danielricciardo

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,766 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: i drove in your dad's wedding, but it'll be ours next

view all comments

user39: i think i heard christian's screams of joy all the way from the other side of the world

christianhorner: so happy for you two

danielricciardo: thank you so much for having faith in me

christianhorner: i know you'll treat her well and i know she'll treat you well, i'm excited to have you in the family

yourusername: awwww dad you're such a sap

maxverstappen1: do i need to marry into the family to still be invited to horner events?

christianhorner: no you're still invited max

yourusername: dad's golden boys will always have invites so you're safe max - bring seb to the next one too

user40: not all of the golden boys having championships other than daniel

danielricciardo: still ended up with the best prize in the end

yourusername: DANNY oh wow....

danielricciardo: not wrong though, i have no regrets because it all led to you

landonorris: @christianhorner i am painfully single please help

christianhorner: i'm not a miracle worker

yourusername: horners take no prisoners

note: pls enjoy this lil one, i did this as a palate cleanser before i get to p3 of into the arms of another and all the dragging that's about to come

#f1 #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #daniel ricciardo instagram au #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo

[ham1lton]

HE SAYS TO BE COOL (I DON’T KNOW HOW YET)

pairings: jenson button x maneater!reader.

warnings: large age gap - around twenty years. a lot of judgement and criticism as there is scrutiny of your relationship.

summary: after a party at a mutual friend’s, you and jenson are photographed leaving together. the large age gap causes concern especially after your admission that you had a crush on him as a young driver.

author’s note: so this is NOT a part of the main maneater storyline. this is just a what if scenario. just something indulgent for the maneaters out there who go for dilfs! last time i checked the friendship group poll, it was practically 50/50 so until that’s decided, there is a big group of all them. also as per usual, there is a poll at the end so please vote <3

— a part of the maneater series ꕤ

liked by messybitch1, landonorris and 1,728,838 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: after the release of lewis hamilton’s newest almave drink, formula one driver y/n l/n, better known as maneater, was seen outside of the event looking quite cozy with former formula one driver and forty-four year old jenson button. how are we feeling about this new power couple, ham1ltons?

user1: poor lewis. his drink release has been completely overshadowed by this news 😭

user3: age gap couples never last long lol. good luck but he’ll move on to the next twenty something as soon as she shows one sign of aging.

user34: SHUT UP HES SO FINE 😭 i’d do the same as you y/n girl.

-> user51: LIKE 😭😭😭 bffr. most of the ppl here would fold for their older celeb crush.

user7: idk who’s benefiting more from this relationship? but it’s definitely not love.

user9: Y/N!!!! I’LL SAVE YOU!!!

user2: not jenson going through his mid-life crisis post-divorce. girl u can do better.

user8: maneater… pls say this is a publicity stunt.

-> user73: no cause this genuinely might be her ticking off her childhood crush list. which is real but idk if it’s good for her?

user6: is she fucking all the aging drivers? or is jenson the only one stupid enough to say yes?

user25: i support it. i met my husband when i was 21 and he was 37 and we have been together almost twenty years this may. not all age gap relationships are inherently bad.

-> user4: you’re a victim 😕

user12: y’all are gross. any of us would jump at a chance to date our celeb crush. jenson is hot and y/n is a consenting adult. she’s not a child anymore. she didn’t even know him as a child. bffr.

————————————————————————

liked by bestie2, georgerussell63 and 3,828,782 others.

yourusername: what do you do when you haven’t seen your besties for ages? do a photoshoot in the middle of the street. how did you spend your weekend?

bestie1: we look so good!!! it was soo good to catch up babe. we missed u!!!

-> bestie2: we’ve all been so busy it’s insane how we’ve not been able to see each other more. i was going insane without my girls!!!

user1: is she not even gonna address it?!

-> user6: big ass elephant in the room.

user4: we knew how you spent your weekend ms l/n.

landonorris: am i not your bestie? why wasn’t i included?

-> georgerussell63: or me?!

-> alex_albon: or me? 🤨

-> logansargeant: or me?? 😕

-> oscarpiastri: i get why i wasn’t included tbf.

user10: u think posting pretty girls will make us forget ur weekend escapades? … maybe. keep posting.

user2: can you guys not make everything about a man? who cares if she’s dating jenson? what does that have to do with her ability to do her job or advocate for causes?! i feel sorry for her because you guys clearly dislike her for stupid reasons and are twisting this into a way to jump her ‘ethically’ which doesn’t even make sense. the only problematic thing she’s done is date a man older than her. grow up, my god.

*liked by landonorris, bestie1, bestie2, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, logansargeant and 45,728 others. *

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

liked by charles_leclerc, bestie1 and 1,092,728 others.

yourusername: italy, i love you ♥︎

user3: get you a man that flies u out whenever ur sad.

-> user7: why are we not assuming she flew HIM out?

-> bestie2: he definitely flew her out. lmao.

user89: feels like a disaster waiting to happen lol.

-> logansargeant: not every relationship is like your parents. get therapy instead of projecting onto strangers.

user6: still a whore. i can’t stand this bitch.

-> oscarpiastri: stay mad! she’s young, successful and has many people who love and support her while you’re cursed to just scroll through her posts and seethe in your head. this one sided beef is crazy 🤣🤣!

user9: they’re cute!! idk how i’m the only one who thinks this.

user67: she’s still ugly.

-> alex_albon: looked at your pictures mate and cheers, my nan just vomited.

user12: when he leaves her >>>>

-> georgerussell63: 6.220.183.12

-> user3: NOT THE IP ADDRESS HELP?2&/&

user8: jenson. call me when you need a real woman.

-> bestie1: where is the real woman you speak of? she’s definitely NOT you.

user21: honestly? i just can’t get on board with this ship.

-> landonorris: you can’t even afford a ticket 🤣 delete this.

user10: i’m not saying shit cause why the y/n defense squad dragging people in the comments 😭

liked by oscar.priv, alex.priv and 21 others.

maneater.priv: NEED HIM CARNALLY <3

bestie1priv: thank god he doesn’t know about ur priv account. i think he’d combust.

-> maneater.priv: nah he giggles. he thinks its funny.

oscar.priv: everyone on a campaign to save you from jenson when they should be saving jenson from YOU!

bestie2priv: LOVE U BOTH <333 cutest couple!

lando.priv: dare you to post this on ur main 😏🤣😁😝

-> george.priv: 43.0.109.12

-> lando.priv: MAN COME ON 😭

don’t want to miss out on my next post? join my taglist! if you enjoyed this, check out my masterlist or buy me a coffee! no pressure ! <3

#jayde’s works ☆ #maneater ꕤ #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 texts #f1 fanfic #formula one imagine #formula one smau #jenson button x reader #jenson button x you #jenson button x y/n #jenson button smau #jb22 x reader #jb22 smau #jb22 #formula one #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 x female reader #f1 x female driver #f1 x female oc #jenson button imagine #jenson button fanfic

[ladcedes]

controversial!

summary f1 heartthrob lando norris starts dating a hot, up-and-coming celebrity with a not-so-hot personality and some fans protest…

disclaimer reminder this is completely fictional!!! the “faceclaim” (very loosely) may be rachel zegler but in no way am i basing it off her personality!!! no hate to her at all i love her sm

the tweet:

comments

user-1 isn't this lando norris' new gf

user-2 no way she's featuring on a DRAKE album 💀💀

yourusername

Liked by bellahadid and 223,449 others

yourusername one thing about me and red carpets... i'll always be serving cunt ❤️‍🔥

view all 442 comments

hunterschafer yess always serving the best looks

bairdballad absolute icon!!

(liked by lando norris)

⤷ bairdballad wtf lando liked this

⤷ snowangel @.bairdballad lando is so real for that

landonorris always a stunner

⤷ yndefender so can we take this as confirmation that they're together

⤷ ynmyloves @/yndefender if this isnt confirmation idk what is 💀

ln4life her language is so vulgar why would lando be with her

⤷ futuref1w4g ikr she's such a bad influence

⤷ angelyns icb you actually said vulgar 💀 lando norris is a fully grown!! BRITISH!! man!!

⤷ milcedes @.ln4life @.futuref1w4g average instagram comments...

lewishamilton 👏👏👏

⤷ ylnstars LEWIS??? lando you better get tf up

⤷ ultraviolenced ariana what are you doing here

2007wdc we should expect lando of all drivers to be with a girl like her most tbf

⤷ 9thwdc aside from lewis

lando.jpg

tagged: yourusername

Liked by daniel3.jpg and 342.112 others

lando.jpg and that marks the end of the 2023 season ✨

view 4 comments

yourusername not a single pic of my face yet you tag me... someone tell him that's not how soft launches usually work

⤷ lando.jpg @.yourusername who says i'm trying to do a soft launch

⤷ yourusername @.lando.jpg you showed me hundreds of other 8K HD pictures of me with my face and only post faceless ones?

⤷ lando.jpg @.yourusername maybe i'm just gatekeeping your face

⤷ yourusername @.lando.jpg it's ok lan, you can stop trying to cover up your loser soft launch attempt, i'll still love you

comments have been disabled

yourusername

tagged landonorris

yourusername cheers to the haters 🥂 he still loves me xx

3 December 2023

view 316 comments

georgerussell63 @ landonorris Your gf is scary help

landonorris you tell em babe

norrislclrc queen behaviour i say

ln4life can’t believe he’d get with you

⤷ ynloml and? you think he’d ever look in your direction?

⤷ ynvfx literally get a life how are you still out here yapping about them even on insta??

ladcedes using this "comment" as an author's note! this is so scuffed im sorry i started it back in early december planning to do more for it but i got busy and atp just wanted to get it done 😭

⤷ ladcedes so for anyone confused about the drake album randomly being there… yeah…

#lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando norris #lando norris smau #lando norris x reader smau #lando x reader smau #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #f1 x reader #formula one smau #formula 1 smau #f1 smau #lando norris x you #lando norris one shot #f1 one shot #lando norris social media au #crack fic #lando norris smut

[solaireverie]

1633 | king of my heart

summary: [ lestappen — social media au ] in which the crown prince of monaco falls in love with a formula 1 driver

warnings: language, implied/referenced homophobia

author’s note: i made a shitpost this morning and here i am now. never let it be said that i don't give the people what they want.

45,299 likes

monacoupdates Crown Prince Charles is present today at the #MonacoGP on behalf of the royal family! The self-professed avid motorsport fan will be spending time in the Ferrari, Alpine, and Red Bull garages.

view comments

user charles is always serving damn

↪ user monaco how does it feel to have won in the crown prince lottery???

↪ user très bien, thanks for asking 😌

liked by pierregasly, f1, hshcrownprincecharles, and 512,920 others

tagged: hshcrownprincecharles, pierregasly

alpinef1team A very special visit from hshcrownprincecharles! #MonacoGP

view comments

user charles at every opportunity: i'm not french! 😠 also charles:

↪ user lmao tbf he's known pierre for a while

↪ user bro how???

↪ user idk f1 drivers hang around monaco a lot and they both speak french

↪ user it's not even just pierre charles is also pretty close with the monaco-based drivers like max and lando

user 10 seconds penalty to ocon for not greeting charles 😂

↪ user poor estie bestie 😭

↪ alpinef1team Esteban did talk with Crown Prince Charles 😉 Just a pity that His Serene Highness had to rush off before we could get pictures...

hshcrownprincecharles has added to their story

seen by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, hshprincelorenzo and 1,293,201 others

liked by carlossainz55, f1, hshcrownprincecharles and 892,103 others

tagged: carlossainz55, hshcrownprincecharles

scuderiaferrari Please welcome hshcrownprincecharles to the #Tifosi for the #MonacoGP 🥳

view comments

hshcrownprincecharles Grazie mille for the opportunity to try the racing driver life!

↪ scuderiaferrari Our pleasure 🥰 hshprincelorenzo and hshprincesspascale can we keep him, s'il vous plait?

↪ hshdukearthur I don't think Lorenzo and Maman would be the only ones against Charles becoming a Ferrari driver 😂

user you don't understand how emotional this makes me 🥹 charles always said that if he could pick any job he'd be a f1 driver and to see him get to experience his dream!! even if for only a day!!!

carlossainz55 Personally I think Charles would be slower than me

↪ hshcrownprincecharles This is lèse-majesté and I will have you thrown into the dungeons for your disrespect to the throne 😤

↪ carlossainz55 pretty sure your brother is the one who can do that...

↪ user does monaco even have dungeons?

redbullracing has added to their story

seen by maxverstappen1, christianhorner, schecoperez and 182,974 others

77,592 likes

mv01updates max post-monaco gp with the crown prince of monaco, his serene highness charles leclerc 😍

view comments

user for some reason these pictures make me feel like i'm 5 years old again and watching my parents be romantic. like i want to scream "get a room" 😂

↪ user not a single unique experience 💀

user ayo 🤨 the helmet pics...

↪ user i stg i've seen pictures of drivers with their actual wives that had less tension

user just kiss already 😩😩😩

liked by hshcrownprincecharles, maxverstappen1, hshprincesspascale, and 8,491,293 others

tagged: hshcrownprincecharles, maxverstappen1

palaisprincierdemonaco La Famille Princière est heureuse d'annoncer les fiançailles du Prince Héréditaire Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc et Max Emilian Verstappen, avec l'accord de S.A.S. le Prince Lorenzo.

The Princely Family is happy to announce the engagement of Crown Prince Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc and Max Emilian Verstappen, with the approval of HSH Prince Lorenzo.

view comments

user i??? what??? what happened to hello??? how are you??? my name is???

↪ user fr i didn't even know max was dating someone lmao

user damn at least we know why they were so touchy at the grand prix now 😂

hshprincelorenzo Félicitations!

user the hAND ON THE THIGH. THE SMILE ON THEIR FACES. I AM UNWELL.

↪ user ALL OF US ARE UNWELL

landonorris does this mean that max gets a title? if so, not fair 😒

↪ pierregasly yeah hshcrownprincecharles, can you knight me or something?

↪ maxverstappen1 go find your own royalty to marry 🙄

↪ landonorris does lewis count? like if i marry him will i become sir lando norris 🤔

↪ sebastianvettel i've asked, and no it does not work like that unfortunately

liked by victoriaverstappen, redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 912,392 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

gq Presenting our July cover star, Max Verstappen.

The Formula 1 driver, best known for dominating his sport and more recently his engagement with Monaco's beloved Crown Prince Charles, sits down with GQ to discuss what exactly goes on in a two-time world champion's mind.

Verstappen offers insight into the ongoing season, the surprising way the sport helped bring him and his fiancé together, and the pressures of marrying into royalty, especially as part of a same-sex couple.

Read the July cover story at the link in bio.

liked by maxverstappen1, hshprincesspascale, hshdukearthur and 4,283,120 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

hshcrownprincecharles There are many words that can be used to describe love, but you will always be my truest definition 🤍

view comments

hshcrownprincecharles p.s. thank you hshdukearthur for catching the moments just before i proposed on camera 😘

maxverstappen1 Charlie, I can tell you I love you in four languages, and it will never encompass everything I feel for you. Je t'aime, ik houd van je, ich liebe dich, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world ❤️

user crying screaming throwing up #relationshipgoals

hshprincesspascale Je suis très contente pour toi, mon cœur. maxverstappen1, bienvenue à la famille! [ i'm so happy for you, my heart. max, welcome to the family! ]

user so if i learn how to drive cars very fast does that mean that i get to marry a prince as well??? if so sign me up 👀

↪ landonorris you also need to be one lucky bastard, otherwise i'd also be on the cover of gq right now

↪ gq maybe next year?

↪ alex_albon he wishes 😂

↪ hshcrownprincecharles first figure out how to flirt, lando norizz 😜

↪ landonorris if max can do it so can i

↪ maxverstappen1 please 🙄 i’ve been watching you make a fool of yourself in front of carlos for five years now

↪ landonorris i hate all of you 😃

↪ hshcrownprincecharles one less place to pay for at the wedding 🤷‍♂️

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist

#solwriting #formula 1 #f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 smau #lestappen #charles leclerc #max verstappen #1633 #lestappen fanfic #lestappen fic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic

[theemporium]

is it fluff? I don't know?

but charles and r where charles is like "what happened pour moi?"

and r is like "oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque."

(tbf I don't know where the monologue is from? I found it on a generator for funny dialogue)

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

When you first started dating Charles, you made a point of wanting to learn his native language.

The only issue was that you would quickly come to realise you were absolutely shit at learning a new language. It didn’t matter if you went to classes, downloaded Duolingo or even bought those little guides with simple and well-used phrases, it just didn’t seem to click to you as easily as it did with others.

But you were still so determined to learn, and it warmed Charles’ heart.

You wanted to be able to talk to him in his mother tongue because it was a beautiful language and you would love to understand what he said when he spoke it. You wanted to be able to talk to his family when they make such an effort to talk to you in English. And even if it was maybe too soon to think about such, you knew you wanted your children to be able to speak their father’s language too. 

You were determined, so you made a deal with Charles. 

You had your French days.

These would be days where you would wake up and set the goal of speaking French all day, or as much as you could. Charles would only talk to you in French, and he would be there to help you with any words and phrases you didn’t know. It was supposed to be a simple exercise that helped you immerse yourself in the language and push your boundaries to help further your knowledge. 

It would just be random days where you would turn to Charles in the morning and inform him of as much, just stating ‘it’s a French day’ before going on with your morning routine.

Today was one of those days. 

Except, when you had woken up with a pit in your stomach, you chose to ignore it. You had days where you woke up feeling a little fuzzy, a little on edge, a little anxious. You tried to have more relaxed itineraries on those days if you could, and that was exactly what you should have done today. But for some stupid reason, you thought you could push through it.

However, pushing through it meant that you were barely unable to stomach any food, let alone have the appetite to eat. It meant that you were constantly feeling as though you were about to tip over the edge. And it meant you should have stayed far, far away from coffee when your heart was already about to beat out of your chest. 

But Charles had brought you a coffee back after his morning run, and you didn’t have the heart to say anything.

And first, it just felt like palpitations. You thought it would come and pass, and you’d be in the clear to just take a chill day. 

But your heart was only speeding up, and the nausea was undeniable. Your chest felt tight with panic as you pressed the heel of your palm against your chest, hoping it would do something to ease the feeling but it didn’t.

Your breathing became erratic and shaky, your whole body felt like it was vibrating and you were pretty sure your head was underwater with how muffled your hearing was.

And your poor boyfriend was absolutely baffled. 

“Amour? Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?”

You let out some choked noise, your brain feeling far too fuzzy to even try muttering up a response to Charles, let alone in French.

“Amour? Baby? Are you okay? What’s wrong? What’s happening?” His words became more frantic as he quickly made his way over to you, his hands on your shoulder as he tried to catch your gaze. 

“I—” You let out a slightly garbled noise before giving him a sheepish smile. It was stupid to try and continue the French day tradition, but even in your state, you tried. Even if your attempt was just speaking mostly in English with a botched French accent. “I am having—uh, une panique attaque!”

Charles’ eyes widened comically large. “I—fuck the French!” 

Your smile was shaky. “I already kinda do.”

His lips parted in surprise before he quickly shook his head. “Baby, no, let’s…just…sit down, please. I’m going to get you water. And something to eat. You’ve hardly touched any of the pastries I brought.”

You listened to his demands, taking a seat on the plush living room couch as your boyfriend ran around like a madman to get anything that would make you feel better.

It wasn’t until over an hour later after you had drank what felt like all the water in the Monaco Pier and consumed enough croissants for a lifetime where you finally felt the tight feeling in your chest ease and your heart rate drop to a normal level. You were still on the couch, now cuddled with your back pressed against his chest as he held you tightly.

“I’m sorry for ruining French day,” you murmured to your boyfriend.

Charles only scoffed. “Baby, please. Your health is more important than French day.”

You paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m also sorry for basically calling you French.”

“Yeah, that I’m not forgiving,” Charles grumbled, but you could hear the smile on his face even if you couldn’t see it. “I think it counts as a hate crime.”

You rolled your eyes. “You are théâtral.” 

Charles grinned as he pecked your cheek. “Good word, baby, where did you learn that one?”

“Arthur.” 

“Fucking Arthur.”

.

#charles leclerc #formula one #f1 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc one shot #formula one x reader #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one fic #formula one one shot #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fic #f1 one shot

[blythsholland]

No More Secrets! Part 3

Pairing: Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader

Warnings: None.

Summary: You join the cast of TBOSAS, sparks fly between you and Tom, and fans are quick to notice some things.

AN: Part 3 of No More Secrets! You can find part 1 and part 2 here! If you want to be tagged let me know! Hope you enjoy! More works at my masterlist!

Also, want to thank you all for the support in this. I really really appreciate it! 🥹🤍

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tomblyth posted a photo

liked by youruser, rachelzegler, lionsgate, hunterschafer and others

tomblyth That’s a wrap 🎬 The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes coming on November 17, 2023 🐍

tagged: rachelzegler, youruser, joshandresrivera

View all 3,123K comments

youruser I’m definitely NOT going to miss you 🫡

↪️ tomblyth sure, whatever you say love! I’m going to miss taking naps in your trailer tho.

comment liked by youruser.

↪️ blythyouruserlovers he called her love! 😭😭😭😭

↪️ user21 WHATS GOING ON IN HERE????

↪️ blythloverrrr taking naps in @/youruser trailer you say?✍🏼

rachelzegler you sweetheart! going to miss you! ☹️ also the pic of josh with my loveletter??? 😭😭😭

↪️ joshandresrivera MY loveletter.

lionsgate See you next year! 🐍

user okay but why is no one talking about the last photo???? That has to be @ youruser

↪️ user89 it can be someone else, why does it has to be her?? 🙄

↪️ user74 forget her, look at Tom’s arms??? oh my god.

youruser posted a photo

liked by tomblyth, rachelzegler, hunterschafer, ashleyliao and others.

youruser That’s a wrap on tbosas! Forever grateful for this and for all the beautiful memories made 🤍 now a small break before no way home press tour! 🕸️

tagged: tomblyth, rachelzegler, ashleyliao and others.

View all 2,378K comments

rachelzegler is that? I knew it!

↪️ blythloverrrr rachel, bestie, what do you know?

↪️ user is rachel one of us?

blythyouruserlovers is everyone seeing what I am seeing?

deuxmoi 👀

tomblyth you said I snore like crazy but you still took a nap with me!

↪️ youruser tbf you were the one that decided to nap on MY bed. So technically you took a nap with ME.

↪️ tomblyth okay you got me there i guess.

useranti i take naps with my friends all the time. It’s normal.

useranti2 it’s always the same people. Don’t ship irl people!!

userfan I just love that both of them keep posting cryptic pics about one another and they ignore every comment made.

*three weeks later*

e!news

liked by deuxmoi, variety, tmz, vogue and others.

e!news Tom Blyth makes an appearance at the Spider-Man: No Way Home red carpet premiere. We interviewed him and he replied he came to support @ youruser and gushed about how amazingly proud he is of her. The pair even posed for some pictures together. Full story at the link in our bio. (📸 Getty).

View all 234 comments.

user11 They’re such a hot couple!

user @ user11 they aren’t dating.

userfan He went to support her and the way he looks so happy in the interview everyone! That man is in love!

↪️ tomblythlovers IKR??? the way his eyes literally shined when he was talking about her. So so cute!

↪️ user4 @ tomblythlovers THE EYES NEVER LIE!

↪️ blythyouruserlovers This reminds me of that vogue interview @/youruser did last week. The interviewer asked her about her experience working with Tom and the smile never left her face when she was talking about him.

↪️ user11 @ blythyouruserlovers omg share the link!

user112 I won’t be surprised the day they finally confirm their relationship. It’s so obvious they are a thing, but if they aren’t already, they’re pretty much in love with one another.

youruser posted a photo

liked by tomblyth, tomholland2013, rachelzegler, zendaya and others.

youruser Spiderman: No Way Home premiere! The movie is finally yours and I can’t wait for everyone to see it. Love everyone dearly! 🕸️🕷️❤️ Here’s some bits of the premiere last night and the press tour!

tagged: tomholland2013, zendaya, jacobbatalon, tomblyth, marvelstudios.

View all 6,345K comments.

tomblyth you looked absolutely stunning love. ❤️

comment liked by youruser.

↪️ youruser Thank you, love. 🥺❤️

↪️ blythyouruserlovers SOMEONE SEDATE ME!

↪️ youruserlovers can I be the third?

↪️ blythloverrrr they😭called😭each😭other😭love😭

zendaya ABSOLUTELY! 😍😍😍

rachelzegler MY BEST FRIEND! LOOK AT HER! 🩷🩷🩷

↪️ youruser PLEASEEE, ILYSM 🥹

tomholland2013 that pic of all of us during press 😂

versace we LOVE a Versace moment 😍

blythyouruserlovers No, you don’t get it. The way she posted that pic of them where they look like such a powerful couple. They are insane!!!

youruserupdates_ so proud of you! Excited for the future!

useranti They’re probably another fake PR couple. Let it go people!

user1 They’re friends, of course Tom is going to support her.

user73 shippers are so annoying!

deuxmoi

liked by blythloverrrr, user, userfan, e!news and others.

deuxmoi New Year, new couple alert!! Over the holidays these two rumored lovebirds got caught. Sources tell us these two have been dating on the down low for a while now. They’re very happy with one another and they want to keep their relationship as private as possible. Head to the link in our bio to know who’s the rumored couple! (📸 anonymous)

View all 100 comments.

blythloverrrr that’s definitely @/tomblyth and @/youruser.

↪️ blythyouruserlovers it’s definitely them. It looks a lot like them.

↪️ userfan leave them alone! And if they are, so what??

user98 I have to say, I saw this coming! They’re very cute!

e!news 👀

user1 oh no, the shippers about to be annoying.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tags: @coconut-dreamz @kuromismom7 @bobgirllll

If you want to be tagged let me know! Part 4 coming soon!

#tom blyth #tom blyth x fem!reader #tom blyth x actress!reader #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth fic #tom blyth x you #tom blyth x reader

[muldermuse]

What's your emergency? (Gator Tillman X F!Reader)

This is in the two sinners world. Reader is bored and needs Sheriff Gator's help with something.

18+ only!! Smut ahead!! Fic includes piv sex, rough oral (m receiving), spitting, swearing, infidelity kink, actual infidelity, reader is called a whore, reader just uses men tbf, housewife roleplay, sir kink. Just like all two sinners posts, infidelity is a huge part!! Please don’t engage if any of the above is not for u.

send through two sinners reqs/ideas/thots

thank you everyone for the engagement with all two sinners works!!!!!!there will be more please enjoy pure smut- you all deserve it and more ❤️

One of the worst parts in living in this dump of a town is that there’s nothing to do. You’ve got the week off and you’ve officially run out of things to do. The house is pristine, your skin is glowing and you’ve exhausted your social battery with brunch dates with friends. You’ve seen Jax, Steve and Jenson once. Jax took you out for breakfast at your favourite diner, then he came back to your home and built some flatpack furniture that you’ve been avoiding for months. You sucked his dick until your jaw locked as a thank you. The day after, Steve dropped off lunch (vegetable soup and a bagel) and fucked you slowly in bed, pressing hot kisses to your neck and whispering about how good you felt under him. Jenson picked you up from a night at the bar with your friends, he went to a drive thru for you and let you choose the radio station for the drive home. He dropped you off at home and returned 8 hours later when you’d awoken. He brought some hangover remedies with him and made you pancakes. You spent the day entwined on the sofa, watching some shitty reality show he swore you’d never get him to watch. You’d text Gator a few times in the week but he was too busy to come over. 

It was Saturday and the boredom was starting to set in to your bones. You were getting restless. There was nothing to do. There was no excuse to get Gator to come over. Unless…there was.

[sent at 12:32] You:emergency at the house 

[sent at 12:32] You: need u to come over

[received at 12:33] Gator🐍💩: too busy sry

[sent at 12:33] You: but its an emergency???????

[sent at 12:33] You: ur meant to be a sheriff

[received at 12:35] Gator🐍💩: i am a fuckin sheriff

[received at 12:35] Gator🐍💩: and ur fuckin desperate for attention 

[received at 12:35] Gator🐍💩: way too busy for ur shit today

He’s right, he is a Sheriff and you’re a member of the local community in desperate need of help.

***

You know that Saturday shifts are quiet for Gator, which would be surprising but Roy would never give his son any real responsibility after he’s fucked up so much. Gator’s on patrol so any call goes straight to him. You know this is crazy, you’re calling 911 to get someone to come over and fuck you. This is unhinged but you are really fucking bored. 

“911- what’s your emergency?”

“Hi, I’m sorry this might some really dumb” Your voice is a tilt higher than it usually is. “But, I’m home alone right now and I swear I just saw two big guys standing at my back window looking at me…I’m just a b- well to be honest, I’m really scared and would like someone to come and check it out- y’know make sure I’m safe”. The call handler is really helpful and tells you that you’re not being dumb and you definitely did the right thing. 

“I don’t know if you’ll be able to do this but could you tell me which Sheriff will come out and check for me? Just y’know with two random men standing outside, I’d like to know who’s coming to the house.” Your voice is so high, you can feel your vocal chords straining. 

“Yes of course ma’am. It’ll be Sheriff Gator”

You thank the call handler and run to get ready. 

***

You put on a short dress which you know drives Gator wild. It’s just a hair too short and if you bend slightly too much, Gator will be able to see his favourite pair of red lace panties underneath. Your tits look amazing and your hair is down, perfectly shaping your face. You decide you’re going to play a game with him as you’re applying a sickly sweet lip gloss to your pout. 

He usually knocks on your door loud but this time it’s like he’s punching your front door. You pull it open and he looks so pissed. His gaze is hard set on you and when gulps when he sees you in the dress but his eyes do not give any level of desire away.

“This is fuckin’ too far…even for you, this is fuckin’ crazy”.

“Sorry, are you Sheriff Gator?” Your voice has the same high tilt it had on the phone  “The lady on the phone said it would be you, I’m home whilst my husband is at work and I thought I s-“

“Your husband? What husband?” He huffs, “this is your fuckin’ house. You’re not even wearin’ any rings. What the fuck are you doin’?”

You smirk at him; he’s so fucking obtuse. “Can I show you where I saw the scary men? Maybe grab you some lemonade for comin’ all the way out here?”. You hold your hands behind your back and smile at him softly. He blows his disposable vape in your face as he pushes past you. You smile to yourself as the shut the door behind him, silently putting the latch on. 

He’s stood awkwardly in your kitchen, if you were acting as yourself you’d ask him why he’s behaving like this but, you’re committed to the role of the bored housewife so you tell him sweetly “I’ll get you that lemonade, Sheriff”. You grab the jug out of the fridge and reach up as high as you can to grab two glasses on the highest shelf. Of course, there’s more accessible glasses in the cupboard but reaching up means you can stick your ass out and show Gator his favourite panties as your dress rides up. You can hear him grumble behind you as you try to act oblivious to what you’re doing. You hand him the glass filled with lemonade and he keeps eye contact with you as he downs the drink in one gulp.

“Is it thirsty work stoppin’ all those bad guys, Sheriff?” You move over to stand in front of him and run your fingers down his chest. “My husband isn’t brave enough to be a Sheriff, sometimes I wish I had a brave man around the house- y’know?”. You bite your bottom lip as you look up at him with bright eyes. Your nails trail lower down his chest until you feel his hard dick in his pants. You softly rake your nails over it and you hear him gasp at the touch. You get on your tiptoes and press your lips to his ear and whisper, so fucking soft, to him “Are you a brave man, Sheriff?”. When you look at him again, his eyes are glazed over with lust.

“Maybe we should um- y’know, check upstairs. Make sure that there’s no one hidin’ in your bedroom” He stutters.

You’ve fucking got him.

***

You lead the way on the stairs, ensuring that you’re a few steps in front so Gator can see up your dress. You can feel yourself getting wetter with every second. You’ve roleplayed with other guys before but never with Gator. He’s a simple man. He just wants to make himself and you cum. He sees no point in playing around when it’s wasting time that he could have your thighs shaking around his head. But you know he’s enjoying this. With this situation, he’s a noble Sheriff doing his duty and you’re the whore who fancies him so much you’re going to break the sanctity of marriage.

You open the bedroom door and sit on the bed expectantly. You’ve made most of the moves up until this point, you want to see if Gator is as into this as his erection would suggest. He vapes as he looks around your room, opening your closet door and the door to your en suite to ‘check’ for any home invaders. When he’s finished peering through your bedroom, he holds up little trinkets placed on your cabinet, smirking as he looks closely at stuff he’s probably never noticed before (Gator is never in your bedroom unless he’s fucking you and he’s usually too focused on how hot you look when you cum to notice a old Barbie placed near some books).

“So uh, your husband, what does he do?” You stay seated as he chats to you.

“He’s a banker in the city, works late or the weekends lot of the time- so I’m here feelin’ lonely pretty often”. You impress yourself with the quick lie, Gator smirks as he makes his way over to you. He stands in front of you and puts his hand on your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.

“S’shame. Pretty lil’ thing like you should never feel lonely. Anyone could break in and hurt you, some bad men around these parts”. His grip on your chin gets firmer, you look into his eyes rather than the bulge in his pants which is inches away from your face.

“Good job you’re here Sir, big strong guy like you can stop them- right?”. Gator loves being called Sir, it makes him feel so fucking powerful that it’s nearly guaranteed to make him cum during sex. One time, he had been fucking you from behind and pulled your hair to look at you. Your voice was nearly gone from moaning so when, in the whiniest voice you could muster, you called him Sir and asked him to cum inside you- he finished immediately. Cursing himself for cumming so quickly. You don’t say it often, terrified of it losing its power but it never does. The memory of that night turns you on even further and you feel like it’s time to hurry this along.

He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip and you open your mouth obediently- doe eyes still gazing up at him. Gator smiles as he places two fingers on your tongue, you can feel your mouth starting to fill with saliva with the obtrusion.

“Y’gonna thank your local Sheriff baby? I drove out all this way for ya. Y’gonna fuck me in your husband’s bed like a whore?” You keep your eyes locked on his dark gaze as you nod at him. He withdraws his fingers from your mouth but instructs you with a gruff voice to “keep your fuckin’ mouth open”. He has a smug grin on his face as he unzips his pants and eases his hard dick out of his boxers. “Bigger than your husband, baby?” he asks as he taps the plush head against your wet tongue.

“Uh huh” your mouth has been open for that long that drool is staring to slide down your chin. Gator notices and rubs his dick against spit, the lower part of your face feels tacky with a mix of your spit and his precum glistening against your skin. He fists your hair and pushes your head onto his cock. “Clean up your fuckin’ mess for me”.

You breathe through your nose as you take his cock down your throat. Trying to stifle the gag as your nose pushes into curled hairs at the base of his cock. He grips your hair in his fists and moves your face up and down his length. You can feel spit dripping down from your mouth onto your tits as he essentially uses your throat as a fleshlight. He pulls your mouth off him and you take a second to catch your breath. Your hair is messed from his fists grabbing at it and your eyes are glassy and peering up at him. He smirks as he pulls you back onto his cock and you take him all the way down your throat. He groans at the feeling, “suckin’ my dick whilst your husband is at work huh? Lettin’ me use this fuckin’ throat while he’s making money”. He thrusts his cock into your mouth one more time and you back off it with a gag as he instructs you, “hands and knees on the bed baby. Arch that back so you look nice n’ pretty”.

***

He teases you before he puts his cock in you. This is the first time you’ve ever been completely submissive to Gator so he’s probably making it last for as long as possible, knowing that the next time you have sex it will be him begging to cum. He spanks your ass hard and you whimper a “thank you Sir” which makes him do it again harder. He taps the head of his cock against your clit and you moan at the contact. You can imagine the smug smirk on his face as he does it, undoubtedly feeling how wet you are from playing the role of the lonely whore of a housewife. He finally pushes the tip of his cock in you and grabs your hips tightly before you can push your ass back to take all of him.

“Nu-uh baby, need to hear you beg for all of it” his voice is the smuggest you’ve ever heard it and you know he’s not going to last long. The power he currently has over you making him close to the edge already. His grip on your hips is bruising as you hear above you in a taunting voice, “c’mon, aren’t you goin’ to show the Sheriff what a good girl you can be?”. You hate how wet his mocking tone of voice is making you. You’ve never felt as desperate for him and it pains you to admit.

“Please put it all the way in Sir, I’ll be a good girl pl-“ before you can finish begging, his cock fills you. His thrusts are ruthless and unrelenting but you can’t hear anything over your own moans and the squelch of your wet pussy taking all of his cock. Your mouth is hanging open and you can feel your eyes roll into the back of your head as you slur ‘thank you’s to him. His hands haven’t left your hips and, similar to your throat, he’s basically just using you to make himself cum and the thought of that sends you over the edge. You cum over him with a shouting cry and shaking legs. In the daze of your orgasm shuddering through you, you can hear Gator grunt “gettin’ too fuckin’ tight baby. Gonna make me cum so fuckin’ deep”. He talks himself to his orgasm as he slams his hips into you a final time. You can feel his legs twitching behind you before he pulls out and lies on the bed next to you.

You press a chaste kiss to his sweating forehead before getting up and walking towards your bathroom. “My husband will be back soon so you need to leave”. His radio crackles into life when you shut the door so he leaves (as usual) without saying goodbye.

He sends you a text a few hours later.

[received at 20:37] Gator🐍💩: need to do that again asap. U be the sheriff next time????

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