#tfw on the farm

[kittlesandbugs]

FHR: Early education Pairing: None, we're deep in freshly decanted Farm territory Warnings: Canon-typical Farm dehumanization, self depersonalization? or something lol, mild physical abuse Word Count: 454 Prompt: from @sidestepping to write a character when they were young with a focus on how that youth affects their POV, under 500 words

Seated at a table, spine straight, eyes forward. Focus on the man in front. This is the third time with a white coat man with a stack of cards with shapes. The man is different this time. Old and wrinkled. Sharp gaze that makes the stomach twist uncomfortably. The old man's eyes flick past, behind and up, to the handler. The hand on the shoulder tightens. Warm, but sharp. A warning of beginning. The old man's gaze returns and then lowers to the drawn card. The card is known. 

"Square."

"Good." The old man nods approval. 

Discard. New card.

"Triangle."

"Good."

Discard. New card. Again and again, same as before. 

Until it is not. 

The circle that appears in the old man's mind warps and blurs. Elongates into points. This has not happened before. The image is always clear. Hesitation. The hand tightens harder on the shoulder. Warning. The handler doesn't like hesitation. 

"What do you see?" the old man prompts, sharp gaze focused and uncomfortable. 

"D… Diamond?" 

The old man's mouth twists and curls upward, wrinkled eyes crinkling more. The expected blow to the back of the skull snaps the head forward with a gasp. 

"Wrong." The old man sounds pleased. Why punishment? "State the objective."

"Name the shape on the card." Understanding. Straighten again. Pain lingers. Focus on the old man. "Circle."

"Good. Why did you say diamond?" 

Finger point to the old man's head. "The shape changed."

The old man chuckles, deepening to a laugh. A mark is made on the clipboard. Notes taken. "Oh, this one is promising." 

The hand on the shoulder returns, a soft and open pat. Praise. 

"Again." There's a square before the old man even draws. It flashes briefly as he views the card, then back to square. 

"Triangle."

"Good."

The game continues through the deck. Sometimes the old man conceals. Sometimes the answer is open. By the time the last card is drawn, the vision is blurred. The mind burns, like a muscle worked too hard. 

"Very good…" The old man rises from the table, looking past to the handler. "Have this one brought to my lab weekly, for further testing and evaluation. There is a very valuable mind tucked away in that little skull. We need to nurture it. Find a different way to reprimand it." 

"Yes sir," the handler says. A soft hand on the back of the skull this time. Praise. A faint warmth inside. The handler is pleased. 

The old man approaches. A finger tilts the chin up, eyes meeting. The urge to flinch away from the hard prying gaze is strong. 

"You're going to accomplish amazing things some day, little Re-Gene."

It is a relief when the old man leaves. 

#kitbug writes things #fhr #sidestep #riley owens #farm 1.0 time #tfw you're a freshly decanted re-gene #trying to figure out how to make people happy #or at least not mad lol #and maybe a lil attempt at a scary old man cameo.......

[welcometoteyvat]

co-op is crazy bc in the same co op session you can immediately click with someone and then find out the other rando who joined might be a racist

#i let everyone into my place unless i didn't click fast enough so ... #the experiences have been a) met one (1) whale who like has c3 or above of multiple characters #limited characters** forgot to specify lol #b) met multiple kids who are Way Younger than i expected.... yikes pls go touch grass dont play the gacha #c) met people who i like really vibe with and talk to semi regularly #d) this fuckass dickwad #tfw you pretend you're a race you're not to two poc over co op #there are cool people over co op though. most of the time <3 #most people just come and get mats too so its like whatever. happy 2 help your farming sessions though #there are also people who just stand there and wait for me to do something like 😭 i dont got the time either you talk to me rn or you #start doing things instead of just standing there. if neither of these happen im kicking you srry #there was one person wayyyy back who led me all the way to chinju forest and then played ayaka's theme to me though it was soooo cute #shoutout to anyone who bothers to learn genshin songs on the lyre and then play them yall are real ones #also did not know that so many cis males played genshin until they came to my world lol (and i met them irl but thats another thing) #problem is that some of them are like 14 and say gan.yu is their waifu ???? 😭😭😭 like bro idk how to react to that 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #ok this is getting a little too tmi but whatever #maybe ill delete it but conclusion coop is Wild

[rattusn0rvegicus]

in my heart I am someone who Knows Shit about farm stuff and being handy and gardening and woodworking and taking care of animals but in reality I am a yuppie softboy who has never plowed a field a day in his life and stands around like an idiot while the actual farm people explain things to me

#I want to get back into volunteering in urban gardens or smth #I love the CONCEPT of being handy and doing farm stuff but in practice I know nothing #I mean. I'm handy enough to follow a YouTube tutorial and do it in double the amount of time it takes most people but LOL #Also I wanted to join 4-H as a kid but for some reason when I asked about it my parents said it was too secular or some shit??? #I think they just didn't want to pay whatever fees were associated with it 😂 #I had so many friends in 4-H #Tfw you grow up Adjacent to farm/rural culture so it IS a bit nostalgic for you but you were in the suburban town surrounded by farmland

[autisticbabayaga]

So apparently eggplant isn't supposed to taste spicy.

#tfw you discover a new mild allergy #it's not bad spicy just like. peppery. #farm fresh

[alteredsilicone]

Gonna do something I basically never do... I will build a second Khora P and give her a Naramon lens so I can farm Naramon focus

#realized i can combine SP farm and focus farm #tfw im getting somewhere with unairu and realize naramon is really good for her #or basically any melee frame lel #wf tag

[impossible-rat-babies]

thinking about stardew valley again but just thinking about my weird lil farmer finn and his cringe fail husband shane

#he is not cringe I just like shane a lot #shane like tfw your husband is a bit weird and maybe a bit eldritch but you kinda roll with it #finn like are my unsettlingly normally weird vibes cramping ur style #andndnd finn is like the eldritch that just wanted a farm idk he just wants to vibe #raise some animals. have a town full of friends #no big scary eldritch form sndndjd finn is like the Kevin bacon scale but he’s just like six degrees removed from eldritch #owen talks

[mamamouches]

DEHYA ACQUIRED LETS GOOOO

also got Candace n Mika rolling for Kaveh!! No Kaveh yet sadly 😔🙏

Will probably keep rolling until it either ends or Kaveh comes home- Just one copy will have to do tho since I kinda wanna save for say, Zhongli rerun maybe? 👁

ignore the team name Here's the new commission team!! They burn everything in sight it's so much fun HAHASHJSAHDFDS

#ଘ(੭ˊ•ˋ)੭ m.plays #genshin impact #genshin rolls #tfw you have a whole new team to farm friendship for again YELLING #(gently plops wanderer off from the team screen) sorry sweetie ur gonna have to sit down for a while!! #dehya #candace genshin #mika schmidt #ALSO GYAAAA I GOTTA FARM THE WENUT AGAIN NOOOOOOO #at least the funny triangle thing is aight to battle but the WORM? #I THOUGHT MIKA USES THE ICE CUBE IN DRAGONSPINE AND THEN I LOOK AND?!?!?!?!? #screaming crying sobbing on the floor #anyw hi hows ur friendship level team goin? HAHA

[witchofthescions]

OH HELLS YEAH I FINALLY CAUGHT THE NAVIGATOR'S BRAND

#farm girl turned adventurer (ic) #Bloody Sunset (Patch 4.1-4.3) #I've been trying to catch this thing for ages #Now I can finally hand it over to Wawalago #((tfw you finally manage to finish a quest you've had pending for FOREVER))

[randomnameless]

Any headcanons about Mark the Monk?

Oh boy

Mark the Monk was an orphan who ended up in Garreg Mach, from a family who had too many children to feed -

His parents were technically alive, but since they couldn't provide, they put him on a random church's door (in a basket).

The random priest in charge of this church pestered again, because it was the 10th child he "received" this year, due to bad recolts and apparently the Lord of Bergliez not giving his grain to feed everyone, but prefering to sell it to Enbarr. Random Priest then petitionned Garreg Mach to get more grain, Rhea answered the petition but while she deplored the state of things, bar giving them bags of flour, she couldn't really do anything else because she has no power in Adrestia, and at best could only write a petition to Emperor Karl VII (Ionius IX's dad), to please feed his people.

Of course, those bags were heavily taxed as soon as they entered imperial territory, so on 5 bags of flour provided by the Central Church, only 3 ended up in the random church.

Mark thus grew up in Adrestia, but had to leave for another church in Leicester when it became apparent that the random church he was residing in, located in Hevring territory, was not going to see the next winter - because a local baron wanted more lands and Minister Hevring thought this church here was useless, so it could be offered to this baron if said baron promised to pay triple taxes.

After a few years in the Leicester Church (in the Ordelia domain) Mark decided to become a clergyman too, so he left for Garreg Mach to pursue his study, leaving before the Hrym Rebellion and Chilon's visit to the Ordelia estate.

In Garreg Mach, he witnessed the Central Church officials running all around trying to answer to petitions, but also, some of them imagining creative scams to gain more money "for the Goddess, of course".

Among those scams was one Priestess who thought selling yellow painted weapons as relics would work - but then she was found out by the Archbishop and exiled, after receiving complains of several buyers who said the blessing of the goddess sucked, since it disappears with the first rain.

Another scam - one he, sadly, bought - was organised by a Cardinal, who convinced people that rubbing their hands against the statue of St Cichol would grant them "unbridled vigor" and a "boost to their fertility".

After long discussions, where the Cardinal's main defense was to levy funds for the Church and "who cares about St Cichol, we're the Church of Seiros!", he was also excommunicated, not before being condemned of repairing, stone by stone, the statues (it was a tedious work, but then Billy poured money so the Cardinal could repair the statues with something else than mud and sticks).

After graduating from his theological studies, with a thesis on "Zanado fruits and transubstantation", he was to be originally sent to the Kingdom as a new deacon, but Mark preferred to travel to Faerghus to see more Holy Sites, and work on his theological studies, remaining a Monk.

(rumour said Lady Rhea enjoyed those disgusting fruits, but he knew better than to try to buy her with one of those things, last month an Adrestian noble tried to bribe her with 10k gold to look away while he would "seduce" students during the Heron Cup, and she expelled him from the monastery).

Thus, Mark has a solid 10 years of participation in Central Church and walked around the world, going from Adrestia to Leicester to Faerghus before Barney comes, and Supreme Leaders supremely ousts them from Garreg Mach.

#crushednugget #we stan 3 nopes Mark #so many scams around #of course the cardinal moneyed access to St Cichol's statue else it wouldn't work #Rhea was pissed because everyone can come and pray you shouldn't put a fee to go to the Church #Seteth was outraged for different reasons #TFW House Bergliez prefers to war than to farm and use their fertile lands for the benefit of teh people #flour is a delicacy in Fodlan #rumour said Saint Seiros herself ate raw flour once #saying she had an older sister who did that and found it tasty #of course older sister was trolling smol!Rhea #FE16 #HC #Fodlan nonsense

[abyssmalice]

“The only reason you should build my big brother is so that when you go artifact grinding, I get a free 5* perfect four stats Blizzard Strayer set and my brother languishes in DEF hat pieces forever.”

#ic | (heard and loved); #crack | (an egg with some toast); #(no i am not talking from experience [lying]) #(tfw i got kaeya geared before childe bc of this..............) #(anyway yeah childe go farm ur heart of depths. tonia will take the freebie blizzard strayers that will inevitably drop with better stats) #(i have so many good artis for blizzard strayer for cryo units........... i HATE THIS I ONLY BUILD HYDROS)

[shallowseeker]

Head canon that Dean buried Cas by a windmill, but it's because he and Cas have had deep conversations about Animal House.

(Dean is a reader.)

In the context of SPN, the stir of the windmill is about Futility.

"Windmill or no windmill, life would go on as it had always gone on - that is badly." -Animal House

///

I can imagine it being one of the first books Dean ranted about as he lay awake in his bunker bedroom, Castiel comfortably situated on the adjacent couch.

#spn + nihilism #spn + windmill #the windmill of futility #tfw deaths #shallowseeker thoughts #dean/cas #dean is a reader #tfw special interests #dean/cas brainiacs #dean/cas special interests #dean/cas + books #dean/cas + reading #dean/cas + book club #dean/cas + philosophy #spn vs nihilism #shal meta #spn + animal farm #animal fam #windmills

[l-e-g-i-o-n-losh]

My mouth is welded shut for your benefit

#i have SO much to say as no2 danniac warrior (no1 is danny) but i Wont #because its not my business technically #danny i refrain from posting for your sake PLEASE understand my massive investment in courtesy #tfw blorbo ACTUALLY lives in ur brain lol #barnabas too. im so quiet and polite i could fuel a solar farm

[shallowstories]

Cas (retired, graceless) gets chickens, but instead of one of those cutesy stories with no reality, it’s gross smelly and and dirty, and chickens can be heckin’ mean.

Dean says he hates them, but when one of the chickens falls egg-bound, Dean bonds with it. He floats her in water and hand-feeds her and helps give her injections.

But then, after treatment fails and with no hope of recovery, Cas just snaps her neck in a mercy kill, and Dean is so speechless that he doesn’t speak to Cas for a week.

#human cas #cas + farming #tfw + chickens #tfw + farming #dean/cas #cas also kills a mean rooster for stew and dean won’t even eat it #lol #dean spent his life hunting and delivering so-called mercy kills #but this makes him balk

[milkywayan]

tfw you see some stupid post that paints medieval peasants eating just plain grey porridge and acting as if cheese, butter or meat was too exotic or expensive for them, and have to use all your inner strength to not just reblog it with an angry rant and throwing hands with people. so i will just post the angry rant here

no, medieval people did not only eat grey porridge with no herbs or spices, they had a great variety of vegetables we dont even have anymore, grains and dairy products, not to mention fruits and meats, all seasonal and changing with the time of the year. no, medieval food was not just tasteless, maybe this will surprise some of you but you can make tasty food without excessive spice use, and can use a variety of good tasting herbs. if you'd ever tried to cook some medieval recipes you would know that. medieval people needed a lot of energy for their work, if they would only eat fucking porridge all of the time they would get scurvy and die before they could even built a civilisation. they had something called 'pottage' which was called that because it was cooked in one pot. you could leave the pot on the fire and go about your day, doing stuff and come back to a cooked meal. they put in what was available that time of the year, together with grains, peas, herbs, meat etc etc. again, if you would try to make it, like i have with my reenactment friends, it can actually be really good and diverse.

dont confuse medieval peasants with poor people in victorian england. dont think that TV shows what it was really like. dont think that dirty grey dressed people covered in filth were how the people looked like.

they made use of everything. too poor to buy proper meat? buy a sheeps head and cook it. they ate nettle and other plants we consider weeds now. they foraged and made use of what they found. hell, there are medieval cook books!

most rural people had animals, they had chickens (eggs), goats (milk and dairy), cows (milk and dairy), sheep (milk and dairy) and pigs (meat machine), and after butchering they used ALL THE PARTS of the animal. you know how much meat you can get out of a pig, even the smaller medieval breeds? the answer is a lot

if you had the space you always had a vegetable garden. there are ways to make sure you have something growing there every time of the year. as i said they had a variety of vegetables (edit: yes onions are vegetables, for those who dont seem to know) we dont have anymore due to how farming evolved. you smoked pork in the chimney, stored apples in the dry places in your house, had a grain chest. people could go to the market to buy fish and meat, both fresh and dried/smoked. they had ale, beer and wine, that was not a luxury that was a staple part of their diet.

this post ended once again up being longer than i planned, but please for the love of the gods, just actually educate yourself on this stuff and dont just say stupid wrong shit, takk

#personal #medieval #medieval europe #medievalcore #sorry for that rant but man #i hate this so much #please read a book or something #or go on youtube and look up mediev food #there are so many cool food historians on there who make stufd #and show what peiole ate

[demilypyro]

tfw you're the shopkeeper in a small town and this weird girl showed up one day who apparently inherited the local farm and is now flirting with your gamer girl daughter

#stardew valley

[heartfullofleeches]

Hello pardon me just passing through but I just imagined Peach and BlackBerry arguing while reader is watching all stressed out and the normal milk character just whisks them away promising comfort

Tfw when you're just a cute little farmer trying to get your neighbors with fat crushes on you to get along, but the only thing they have on common besides their obsession with you is that they'd kill each other as soon as you turn your back- [I have so many pretty cow ladies oml]

-

"What are you doing here?

"I could ask you the same thing."

This wasn't going well. You hoped they'd at least make out it to the field before they started picking fights. Both were well aware that the other would be here - you told them so in the invitation. They most likely overlooked that tidbit in favor of spending time with you. If only their mutual interest in you led to a more positive connection.

Peach scoffs. "I'm here because my babe asked me to help them out. You think I'd be out here in these shoes for any other reason? I'm more ssurprised to see you out of your coffin so early in the day."

"Like you won't be gone the second you get a little dirt under your nails. You're so clingy can't you just let them have a single moment with someone else without you hovering over them?"

"Nope. If I did that - you might actually think you have a chance with them."

What could've possibly made this seem like a good idea? You thought you'd be killing two birds with one stone by inviting them out to the farm - seeking to help qwell their rivalry by asking them to help you with your last bit of chores. You requested their assistance with picking crops as it was one of few tasks Peach would do without complaining and the harvest would make for a well deserved reward for their efforts. It was a perfect plan in theory. Execution was another story.....

Good thing you invited others to join you.

"Farmer!"

A pair of strong arms pluck you off your feet and against the chest of the bull woman who's heart pounded loudly in her chest from her race from her truck to you. Oil rubs off on your shirt and sticks to your skin as she presses you tightly to her - tail smacking your tight as another, quieter pair of footsteps approach from the direction she came. A gloved hand taps her shoulder - gentle eyes gazing over her shoulder at you with fondness.

"Good afternoon, Farmer. We would have came sooner, but this one refused to shower before leaving her shop. I had to take her keys just to get her into the bathroom, and yet she's still a mess. At least the chance of a grease fire has been reduced.

"Ah, I keep tellin' ya it's a waste of time. We could've spent the whole morning with them if you hadn't forced me to wash up.

An unlikely pair these two made - a prim and proper maid, and the grease junkie king of the local junkyard. Ginger lived for creating messes, and Milk enjoyed cleaning them up. Their union was uncommon, but they could safety call one another allies especially when it came to you.

"Ginger! Milk! I'm so glad you guys could make it, thank you so much for coming."

"It's our pleasure..." Milk looks past you, pointing at the two still bickering at your doorstep. "Will those two be joining us?"

You glance back at Peach and Blackberry.

"You must think you're sooo perfect. Won't have that pretty face to hide behind when I skin it off you."

"Was that a threat? Are you threatening me? So you know how many chances I've had to get rid of you? You're lucky I even let you step foot on their property."

"You're lucky I let you breathe the same air as us."

You quickly turn away as Peach screams in frustration"I don't think so...."

Ginger chuckles - her hands falling to your waist and locking on. "More for us then. Let's get this show on the road."

"Wha- Hey!" Laughter bursts from your chest as Ginger scoops you up and throws you onto her shoulder - wrapping her thick arms around your legs to keep you in place. Milk picks up the basket you brought out with you and follows behind the two of you as Ginger matches towards the field. The maid places her hand on your back to keep you stable as the mechanic pumps her fist in the air in celebration. Your smiling face as you're carried off is captured by the two left alone on your porch who briefly paused their argument to gain your input on the issue at hand. They look at each other, then Ginger's truck.

"...... Twelve o'clock. I'll slash the tires if you break the windows."

"Deal."

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #female yandere #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere blurb #yandere scenarios #yandere hybrid #Milk farm tag #yandere harem #Farmer reader