#thanks immensely for reading it

[triplefool]

"Ramparts", a poem and collage artwork by me.

Thanks if you read it!

#just some #art #by me for a university contest #the theme was walls and borders #so I did this #poem #collage #thanks for just looking at it #thanks immensely for reading it #thanks astoundingly if you like it lol #sorry it's kinda blurry #no pdf on Tumblr and I'm not familiar with better formats :( #inspo is obviously #The Lorax #twenty one pilots #the truman show #vassily kandinsky #paul klee #warsaw ghetto #berlin wall #and more #walls #borders #freedom

[alyona11]

Ok time for my big Hadestown hot take and that’s that West End Hadestown doesn’t give you a 100% Hadestown experience. It’s still ridiculously good and 100% worth seeing, don’t get me wrong (I used my opportunity and saw it twice and will likely see it again if I’m in London), but it kinda made me realise a couple of things about OBC production that will always be my Roman Empire and make me deeply upset Broadway is too greedy to give us an OBC proshot.

So, here are some of my thoughts and reflections based on seeing Hadestown live on West End + seeing different versions (including London National theatre proshot) in boots. I think you can pretty solidly say that in Hadestown there are 2 main stories: Orpheus/Eurydice and Hades/Persephone. And even though arguably Orphedice is the main most important story, it my opinion it also wins from Hadesphone story being strong. Which works perfectly in OBC due to Amber Gray and Patrick Page delivering a very deep nuanced performances as their characters.

I think part of the success of Hadestown when it works on its fullest is how it creates a very deep emotional journey. And I feel that regardless which pair of Orpheus and Eurydice you have (if we take Broadway/tour/West End take on the characters) it’ll still work! Like you need to try really hard to mess up orphedice the way people wouldn’t root for Orpheus or wouldn’t empathise with Eurydice because they are so relatable and cute. You instantly love them, they are so so lovable. So orphedice part is one thing in Hadestown that imo works if not always then in 99% of the cases.

Hades and Persephone’s part of the story in the contrary is VERY hard to nail on 100%, in my opinion, and this is literally driving me crazy. Maybe seeing Amber Gray and Patrick page in professional recording awoken some feelings in me, I don’t know. I will state straight away that I also do enjoy other actors’ takes on characters and I do see some very interesting character moments there and there. However, I keep returning to the thought that Amber/Patrick’s characterisation works SO WELL for the main narrative. I’ll try to explain why I think so. Consider it my love letter to the OBC.

First and foremost, I feel like Hadesphone story has a very fine dynamic that the actors have to nail, so you would feel that: 1) these two still love each other; 2) these two are buried under their problems and see no way out, only a miracle (aka Orpheus and his song) can save their marriage.

And if the first one usually works at least due to Epic 3, the second one, imo, often (at least partially) falls victim to acting/directing choices which can cause troubles with point 1 as well. I think one big thing I’ve noticed is that often Persephone’s alcoholism gets forgotten in the acting performance. Like yeah sure her choreography includes drinking from a flask but in comparison to Amber you never get a feeling that she is absolutely wasted. Which, is in my opinion something that you should feel when you’re watching the show and something I was constantly forgetting about when I was watching the show on West End. I feel in Amber’s performance you can constantly see that her Persephone’s feel good attitude is a façade of a broken person who knows that her marriage is going to hell in front of her eyes yet she is too passive and hopeless to try to make an active change (well, she does try in Chant and nothing happens), so her only way is to chase the sense of normality that the “medicine” gives her. But when she is alone, if you get to catch a moment when people are not looking at her, you can see a deep sadness under her positive front and her memory of the old days when everything was more simple. Nevertheless, the main point that the lyrics literally say is that Persephone is blinded by the river of wine. And this is crucial to her character and her relationship with Hades because the story states that even though Hades is a problem and he is an active actor in creating more problems, he is not the only failure in this relationship. Persephone needs to be woken up from her apathy almost as much as Hades does and this is something that we see during If It’s True.

From Hades’ side I feel like it’s not a good decision to make him a total villain because when he is irredeemable you don’t feel like the whole “song that will fix the world” has any chance of working long term. I think Patrick nailed a deep antagonist very well. His Hades is weird and lowkey creepy and alien. He does objectively bad things but when you look at him you can’t stop thinking that he doesn’t operate in regular human logic or morality. When I look at him in Chant, it feels to me that his words about building stuff to impress Persephone are absolutely sincere, and I can absolutely see that his Hades doesn’t understand why she is so upset about it when his intentions are so so clear. Maybe it’s my vision but even before Epic 3 when he is so far gone and buried in his projects and messed up ideas I don’t have a single doubt that Persephone is a single motivator and goal of Patrick Hades’ life and that he literally doesn’t need any other being to care about. And tragically this fixation is what makes him blind to all other things he does even if those things ruin Persephone’s life (and other people’s but tbh I don’t think he cares).

I feel like by removing Persephone’s Chant 2 verse Hadestown created more problems for Hades and Persephone part of the story making it a much harder job for the actors to prove to the audience that Hades and Persephone have a chance to make their relationship work. Like I get that maybe it was a necessary things to do (even though I think the show is much better with it) but it made it so much harder to empathise with this particular part of the story unless the actors use the choices that work in the narrative. Because for example when I was watching the show on West End part of me was wondering “what is Persephone’s deal in all of that, what does she win by staying with Hades?” With the verse, and with Broadway Previews or London 2018 in particular this part was clear: Persephone still loves Hades and believes that he has the opportunity to change and become a better man he used to be. Without the verse, however, the actors should give you the same idea during the show which is a hard task considering Hades and Persephone have only 2 big conversations together (Chant and How Long). So apart from those songs there are only subtle mostly silent moments they get together through which the actors have to convey the same thought which is hella difficult and probably hardly will be appreciated by anyone apart from the people who sit closely.

So, maybe because in the actor combo I saw (Zachary and Lauren), I got a feeling that even though they were great separately, I didn’t feel much chemistry between them as a pair. I think, Persephone seemed pissed and tired of Hades all the time until How Long and I didn’t feel that she still believes in his willingness to change. And Zach Hades despite being entertaining, kinda gives the impression of Hades who has other options, he is not into Persephone enough. The only sparkle appears between the two in Epic III which is still cute but I’m not sure if it works just as well if that’s the first time you see the show? Also considering Zach Hades gives more malicious intent in His Kiss, The Riot it seems that he is not even slightly interested in Orpheus having any opportunity to succeed with his quest. Which is not bad, don’t get me wrong! But in comparison to Patrick who is deeply self projecting into Orpheus to the point where you could see that even though he doesn’t want to let him go, part of him does because it would prove he too could succeed in his challenge of waiting for Persephone, this take seems a bit lacking. And overall because of His Kiss, their promise in Wait For Me doesn’t seem as giving much hope that the story won’t repeat itself next Sunday. Which in its turn makes Orpheus’ sacrifice feel a bit… worthless. If on Broadway, when Orpheus turns, but spring comes again you feel like it is the start of something new: hopefully a kinder and softer time. On West End the show also wants you to feel it but when you think about Hades and Persephone you feel…less certainty that this sacrifice will have a long term effect?

I guess the creators wanted to concentrate on Orpheus and Eurydice more and forget about Hades and Persephone by making them more secondary story or maybe there was a lack of director’s involvement to give the cast some hints on how to make this particular part of the story work better, but it feels to me that in its current state the show works in its 85% power which is still great but once you know there is something missing you can’t stop thinking about it and wishing the show would give you those 15% you crave.

#me being me #hadestown #thanks for coming to my ted talk #I still immensely enjoyed the production and would come see it again #but when you know the show at its fullest you seem to miss some parts that worked better #also I was able to appreciate the same cast from different angles the second time I could see them from the first row so I could #get a clear view of their acting #and don’t get me wrong Zach and Lauren are really interesting to watch and I liked them #but also I started thinking if it was my first time to watch the show would I understand the appeal of Hades/Persephone line? #and I can’t stop thinking about it #hades #Persephone #hadestown broadway #hadestown west end #it’s also not about WE only but just about some characterisations I saw from different actors in different productions #I just felt like it would be fair to compare to the production and cast I saw life because obviously bootlegs even the greatest are not #the same #thanks for reading this long post

[bonus-links]

you guys are making him blush....

#bonus loft #bonus content #i read all of ur tags and I enjoy them immensely thank you #meme tag #bonus links #bonuslinks #bonuslinksdotjpg #FORGOT HIS SCARS a crime

[yuurivoice]

Tomorrow Has To Wait, a Cloud & Aerith One-Shot

A FFVII Rebirth Cloud & Aerith fic. Contains spoilers through Gongaga (and beyond tbh). Cloud slips away into the night to be alone with his thoughts. How can he protect the ones he cares for most if he cannot even trust himself?

Aerith Gainsborough brought me out of fic writing retirement. You ever been down so bad that you got in touch with your inner child, your first dreams and aspirations, and a craft you've long left on the shelf? I have, and it got about 2.8k words and a long afternoon outta me.

Be kind, it's been a long time for this old boy.

Read on AO3 here. Snippet beneath the read more.

Gongaga nights were humid, the dense kind of humidity that clings to however much exposed skin it can find, and sleeping in it was no easy task. However, up above the trees standing at the top of a mostly ruined observation tower, Cloud was breathing in the crisp breeze and gazing up at the stars.

“It’s not so different from Nibelheim.” He recalled kicking his feet off the edge of the water tower, looking through the window of the cute girl next door and then desperately trying to look anywhere but there to avoid being weird. That was so long ago, but nowadays he felt more in touch with the awkward, silent kid than a seasoned SOLDIER.

Even with Tifa’s forgiveness for what happened at the reactor, Cloud couldn’t find enough quiet in his mind to rest. He was anxious. How in the hell was anyone supposed to trust him if he couldn’t trust himself? Despite their party growing stronger and more determined than ever, the war waging on in his mind was one he had to fight alone. The migraines, the memories, the uneasy feeling lingering in his chest any time they encounter another one of the robed men. If he shared his concerns, those little moments where he lost himself, there was no chance they’d keep him around. Barret wouldn’t let anything put his mission to save the planet at risk, not when Marlene was back home waiting to live a long happy life on a planet that hasn’t been sucked dry of its essence.

There was a pounding in his chest, a part of him that shouted that his honor wouldn’t let him fail those he cared about the most. So why did it feel so right killing those Shinra bastards? Why did his blade flow so effortlessly as he danced through them like the evening breeze? 

Why did he love the warmth of their blood on his cheeks?

You know why, Cloud…

“Shut up.” Cloud lifted the Buster Sword from his back and held it upright before him, staring at the hilt as his hands gripped it tight. His knuckles cracked as the leatherbound hilt groaned in his palms. This blade was held in this position many times before to remind the wielder of his honor as a SOLDIER, but those days were long past.

You can’t deny it forever. They’ll understand. They already know. You don’t belong with them…

Tighter. Cloud’s muscles tensed as his eyes shut tight, begging for this creative imagination of his to let him see his hands wrapped around Sephiroth’s throat. 

You will fail them again…

Cloud’s chest heaved with raspy breaths, as if it were his own throat he was clutching. Squeezing. Tighter. Tighter goddammit. He wanted to feel the grip of the sword snap in two. He wanted something to break. Anything. Everything.  

Then, silence. 

Gentle hands rest on top of his, joining him in holding the sword, now wrapped in a warm embrace from behind. There was no breeze, no wildlife, and no voice in his head.

There was only Aerith.

#ffvii rebirth #ffvii fanfiction #cloud x aerith #aerith x cloud #ff7 rebirth #hi i know y'all ain't really tryna hear all that #but thank you to anyone who reads and shows it some love #i'm so rusty and my vocabulary has regressed immensely #but i'd do it for her again #and cloud was there too i guess

[oneiricazalea]

Happy 5th birthday to my dear OC, Sei ♥

#my art #illustration #original character #oc | seijaku #world | luxenvalice #sentimental rambling in the tags #my dearest girl!! light of my life!! the only reason i get out of bed sometimes!!!! #she was drawn earlier than Feb 14 2019 - but that is the date she was first posted to ToyHouse #and so that is the date she was probably truly solidified in my mind as an OC that was going to stay #Do you ever have an OC and don't realize how much of you - the creator - is in that OC? #realizing stupidly late that this is why it bothered me immensely when people took art involving her to repost #I still feel kinda gross posting personal art because of it but #that's why my watermark is a little more annoying now #Anyway it feels like a lifetime has passed from her starting off as a BNHA OC #Don't remember anymore why I made the conscious decision to watch the show when I always had and still have trouble starting/finishing medi #but while I don't keep up with it anymore - it did result in me creating her #first as a student character and then changing her immediately when I saw a certain villain loool #there was a lot more I was going to say down here but the internet has cut out #So for now I'll just end with... #thanks for your time if you read this 💕 #and I look forward to doing more with this character in Genshin and other fandoms #and ofc the collab story she is involved in 😌

[whitmore]

it isn’t that etoiles lost it’s abt HOW he lost, like they really could have just thrown code after code after him for two hours straight and used up all his gapples and potions and he STILL would have lost and it would have been more satisfying; it would have been a long, arduous and well-fought battle that etoiles would have adored every moment of despite the grim ending. but the way he lost was fighting a code whose health bar didn’t even move and who then proceeded to borderline metagame in order to win the fight quickly, taking away two of qetoiles most prized possessions resulting in a hollow victory. narratively i get etoiles needed to lose at some point but it should not have been like that

#eleanor.txt #qsmp #were they attempting to rush for their code business meeting! were they late for their code flight? #did code mother ask them to be home for code dinner in one hour so they had to code wrap it up real quick #what happened there! what happened there #edit: im not making another post on this so i’ll just add it here i also understand that it’s supposed to read as unfair #like it’s SUPPOSED to convey the immense power the codes have. it just did not do that well #etoiles NEEDED a loss. i so get that he really did #but the way it happened was so … idk #he’s a good sport thank god

[foundationhq]

ACCESS GRANTED TO SITE-φ.

Welcome, 𝐶𝐴𝑀𝐼𝐿𝐿𝐸. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛 is pleased to recognize you for the role of [𝐴𝑈 𝐹𝐴𝐼𝑇].

What is “inheritance?” What are we if not the descendants of our ancestors, DNA that streams from the pool? Vivien's grappling of her antecessors, especially her complex relationships regarding her father, mother, and brother drew us into the tangled roots of this family tree. A tree, replanted by the Foundation. Uprooted by Vivien herself after the rot her father caused. And though we may think that no one could ever find fault in those with the bravery to do the right thing, history shows us that the whistleblowers must also pay their sum of flesh. The themes expressed in your writing captivated us; can someone live in the Foundation's chiaroscuro when their morals are starkly black and white? And what are the costs — interpersonal, social, cultural — for pursuing and enacting justice? Vivien stands upon the gravestone of her family name, her unique dedication to principle ushering a new order within the Foundation. She is destined for succession, carved by her own two hands. We are so incredibly happy to invite you into the Foundation.

Please refer to our checklist for primary onboarding, and have your account ready in 24 hours. The flight to Site-φ leaves on the dot. And 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛 doesn't like to be kept waiting.

#fhq.accepted #fhq.af #[ simply amazing!!! it was an immense pleasure to read! ] #[ i am still SHAKING from excitement about how all of these elements align SO PERFECTLY with your take on the skeleton ] #[ thank you so so much for applying!! ]

[diddybok]

me realising that i need to go into hiding after that felix fic:

HELP LMAO😭

#diddybok waffle #THE ESSAYS? fucking love them #i have a habit of riling the feathers of people #if my ‘felix’ thought he was safe…naur #say it with me everyone #diddybok loves angst #(i love fluff too but goodness do i love to get a reaction from the readers) #i hope you enjoy the fic though #i don’t know about enjoy but #thanks for reading? LOL #if you cant tell this has filled me with immense joy and fear

[etherealising]

I just wanna say I fucking love baby and carmy and I think you’ve written it perfectly. It’s heartbreaking and beautifully refreshing it feels like breathing in freezing cold air whilst crying your eyes out.

Also please let them be happy at some point 💕

i’m so glad you love them, these two fictional characters hold such a huge place in my heart its honestly crazy. no because you’re description of what it feels like to read aiekoy is so spot on, like its chaotic and messy but full of love at the same time.

you say please but i dunno kinda feeling threatened…seriously they will be happy i promise like i need them to be happy, we all need them to be happy and if anyone deserves it its those to honestly!

#thank you so much for reading! #this whole universe is very special to me #and knowing you al loves it #fills me with immense joy! #no but i cannot wait to write these two happy and in love #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ #[aiekoy] asks #vee answers °•. ✿ .•°

[katamarei]

ok I think I am forreal going to be alone forever it's over for me actually

#idk I just have weird fucking trust issues for no reason (no 'betrayal' that I can remember has ever happened to me) #so then it's like ok fine just like. date ppl I'm already friends with. except the only friends I like like that already have partners #and I think the ones that are single are ace/aro/otherwise generally not interested #and it does bother me immensely that everyone I know who wants a partner has one and I'm just. here #it also bothers me that when I try to look for advice it's ppl who are kinda in the same boat as me except they have actually dated before #bc like most people do that shit at least once before they turn fucking 26 but I haven't because something is wrong with me I guess #I think my only real chance is dating apps. which is so bleak to start. even more bleak bc I'm bad at talking to ppl and I'm a lil ugly and #it takes me 6 to 8 months to get to know someone much much longer to avtually like. trust them #idk I fucking wish more than one person ever has asked me out even if I turned them all down just so I could like. look back and know that #I'm not just like. inherently undesirable/unlovable/etc. instead I have nothing and it's like well. maybe I really am all of those things #if u actually read all that. sorry. but also thank you. but also sorry

[rooftopwreck]

ooh ooh, 58 for the Spotify wrapped fic idea thing!

Hello, Hello TJ! I have two ideas for this!

The First one is a sequel to the angsty Modern AU Dreamuse Break Up I came up with for @ghostboyjules where in this one there's reconciliation, healing and a hopeful ending. Oh, just thinking about it makes me 🥺

The second one is set in 1989 where Hob thinks he got stood up. It's more of an introspective look on how Hob's feeling, starting to get a little drunk and melancholy as the day stretches into night as he waits in The White Horse.

I'll dive into the first scenario instead bc I have an actual idea for it than the second which is mostly just Hob having some sad lonely drunken musings before his night gets worse (he doesn't know about the pub shutting down yet rip)

My mind is complicated Find it hard to rearrange it But I'll have to find a way somehow Overreacting lately Find it hard to say I'm sorry But I'll make it up to you somehow

Years after their mutual break up, Dream and Calliope happen to run into one another (haven't decided should it be a quiet balcony at a Gala or something more mundane). They have polite (albeit stiff) conversation, making nice and catching up. After that they can't seem to stop happening across one another, it's almost as though it's fate.

They continue to make polite conversation each time. Once, Dream makes a dry remark, it makes Calliope laugh. Dream is simultaneously delighted by her joy and overcome with a sense of grief. He takes his leave shortly after but not before Calliope suggests it would be nice to keep in contact again.

Dream struggles with the love he had for Calliope, their falling out, his own failures in their relationship, how they seem to get along better than ever despite their interactions are tainted by shadows of their past and how it feels the same but also very different. She feels different but also the same. He wonders if he's changed at all and if the man he is now is worth her time despite everything that's happened.

Seeing her again brought back old grievances, not against her but himself. He considers making amends if he wants them to start again as friends. He has missed her dearly.

Did I miscalculate this? Let's just go back to basics Forget about what's come and gone 'Cause I hate to see us like this Breaking up on nights just like this We should be shooting for them stars of gold

It is good to see him again, Calliope thinks. It might have been good to hom too, she thinks. That is until he suddenly froze up and backpaddled out of the conversation at the speed of light, but never in an undignified way, just as he used to. After so many years, she thought she had a good enough read on him, that he did not hate her as she initially thought, that he was comfortable with her. Perhaps she is mistaken, perhaps she is too hasty in her desire to have Dream warm up again, perhaps he was reminded of their past and remembered he would rather not reconnect.

Calliope wishes they could put aside their past and work towards something new. They've both changed a lot, they're not the same as they once were. Their relationship will not be that of the past. It can be something new if Dream comes around to the idea.

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you

They make tentative steps together, navigating this new friendship. Sometimes, they make more mistakes than they do progress. Sometimes, they make leaps and bounds, bonding in a way they haven't before. It is good, they are good. Things are alright, they're more than alright.

Dream has not smiled quite so much in a long time. Calliope's eyes twinkle brightly as she teases him. Her smile soothes something inside him, it settles him. It is not to say she has lost her spark, but it is a warm, almost banked fire, instead of one that rages wildly. He feels at ease, like he belongs.

He freezes. He had not intended this to happen, but between their conversations and not-dates since they first reconnected, he's in love with her. He had been, but it's different but still the same. He should leave. He needs to go, he cannot burden her with this. This was not what Calliope had desired when she suggested they keep in touch. He's fucked this up again. He needs to go.

Calliope's hand settles on his and pulls him back. She calmly asks him not to panic and run, to please talk to her if there is something wrong, to be honest.

So, he does. He's still in love with her, new and different. He's fucked up their friendship by carrying this torch, if he hasn't already, then he will. He doesn't know what will happen next, he's terrified of losing her again after just having her back in his life.

Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright

Calliope cups her hand around his and gently says she loves him too. Whatever comes next, they'll figure it out together. This time, they'll be alright.

#thank you for sending a number!! i cant believe the numbers worked out nicely that i can give them a better ending 😭😭😭 #fic idea kinda just turned into quasi fic musing oops! (haha muse-ing) #I hope you had some fun reading this monster. i am clearly no writer but i enjoyed doing this immensely 💜 #asks #tj_dragonblade #v's chatter

[drbtinglecannon]

16, 17, and 29 for the ao3 wrapped?

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

Ao3 filters tells me it's "fluff and humor", which isn't surprising, I have posted a lot of light-hearted stuff because I am a sap, haha

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Philip/Belos, hands down. I wrote a piece centered around him and Evelyn for a zine (so I haven't been able to post it yet 😭) and it was SO fun to write as him and really lean into the horror aspects of TOH. I need to write more horror haha

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I am plugging my favorite line from the zine piece I mentioned because I am very proud of it haha

#thanks for asking! #I realize I didn't write much this year lol but I am immensely proud of that zine piece I am so excited for others to read it!

[samuraisharkie]

you want to reread archie so bad.... its a good comic book... ooooooo you wanna read it sooo badddd

I was an AVID Archie fan my life used to REVOLVE around Archie sonic. I’m already trying to read the Spider-Man comic books I think re-reading Archie would transform me into middle school autism me

#not a bad thing but I have to time it right HQJRJWJJ #I used rp Sally Acorn. and Sonic. I used to do the sonic voice all the time #my twin made it a point to read and understand and memorize ALL the knuckles lore. it was impressive and terrifying #they told me all about it and I was very confused #I remember being close to an emotional breakdown when Archie started having legal troubles and reboots and shit #I was so anguished by the loss of the Archie comics I refused to touch IDW for a while due to mourning #archie sonic #<- going to make a tag… Just In Case #I remember ranting to all my friends abt it all the time. my irl friends have never touched Archie in their lives but they know all abt it #I have Opinions #if the Archie scene as it is now existed back then I would have been unstoppable. as it is I find immense joy seeing like minded people #talking about it and being like ‘YES THANK GOD SOMEONE FELT THE SAME WAY’ #back then all I had was the fucking sonic forums. genuinely forums for sonic comics #I had an account to read from this one site that used to upload all of them anc ategorized them by era run and special #rip to that place btw

[iris-nonsense]

It seems that loneliness is going to become a theme from now on. Gojo believes to be lonely (untrue like shoko kindly points out here) and yorozu believed sukuna was lonely (questionable) we'll see where this goes

#the priority now is to free gojo to my immense displeasure #and i know they will succeed thanks to that one person in my notes a month or so ago #iris reads jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk manga spoilers

[thebirdandhersong]

songbird's season of general sadness/first real grief/sorrow is coming to an end: (in chronological/journeying order) songs and poetry that helped my heart a lot these past few months :)

Always Good, Andrew Peterson / Marjorie, Andrew Osenga / Ask Polly article I read on a whim: 'My Boyfriend Refuses to Change' / You're On Your Own, Kid, Taylor Swift / One Foot in Front of the Other, Griff / Heavy, Mary Oliver / Monday by @madamescarlette / The Letter, Linda Gregg / Summer's Retrospective by @madamescarlette / Ode to Some Lyric Poets, Gregory Orr

(bonus--from the scraps of writing that came out of this chapter of life, which are slowly being assembled into a more coherent story:)

#yknow i felt so alone at so many points but i really really wasn't #i had such good friends (here and in my church community) who held my hand so gently #and God used the things i understood best to show me His incredible love at just the right moments #still an ongoing journey but i am so so grateful for the secondhand heart-strength given to me and the tenderness that was extended when i #when i was really at my lowest and saddest and most oversensitive and easily provoked to impatience or anger or depressive spirals #anyway i can't remember who sent me marjorie but thank you so much for that it was such a comfort. it continues to be #and thank you eden for sharing your beautiful poetry!!!! it continues to refresh and encourage my soul #mmmm it's hard to put into words what everything (and by everything i mean: the songs here and on my playlists #and the poetry here and the books i've read during the summer and into the autumn #from cyrano de bergerac to tolstoy to rilke's poems and dorothy sayers and dostoevsky and st therese & st teresa and madeleine l'engle #not to mention the night walks and morning prayers and the wonderful times i've had with the other dorm girls! #suddenly quite overwhelmed by the abundance of love and blessing #immensely immensely grateful for everything. i can be such a little wretch sometimes and wallow awfully for days #or act like a little human machine and try to Rid Myself of all emotional surges. or just focus on all the negative things with astonishing #tunnel vision (you wouldn't BELIEVE). but God has been so gracious despite songbird being a silly goose #and every once in a while having mental breakdowns and having to learn the same lesson (surrender and humility) a bajillion times #anyway!! my heart doesn't hurt anymore!! #and i am learning to take it one day at a time and to Rejoice in all circumstances #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21 #which really is so much harder than i thought at times!!!! but that makes it even more important to do so i think

[4letteraroace]

ah yes. nothing better than listening to questionable rp audio asmr at 11 pm. this is the best way i could be spending my time

#btw my use of the word 'questionable' is me trying to downplay my interest in the genre #the audios are really good and i enjoy them immensely but i dont wanna get judged abt it #i was listening to ycey narrates #and i like his audios because he makes his characters sound like real people #there are some creators that just sound like theyre reading out a script #i dont need lore i dont even need names #i just need the speaker character to sound like a real person #and then i take a deep breath whenever the creators try to do kissing sound effects #the kissing always sounds SO WEIRD #anyways i listen to more than just redacted audios #i also listen to yuurivoice and ycey narrates #ANYWAY thanks for listening to andi rambles in the tags of her own post at way too late at night