7.5: the perilla leaf ă series m.list
note: nah cos why did u guys blow up 6.5??? jus cos it was nasty sex ????? WAS THE MIRROR SEX CH NOT AS HOT ???? đ jus kidding ⊠hello to my new readers !! hello to my day 1s !!! iâm so glad uâre here <3 enj this ch as we are near the end ⊠i know i took a hot minute... but now u guys will know WHY. pls lmk ur thots ,, i am in desperate need of validation cos iâm losing motivation đâđœ mwah ,, wuv u all ,, until next time !
warnings: this ch is lengthy !!! i'm too lazy to do a word count... anyways,, miscommunication (jk & mina, mina & oc, eunwoo & jk & oc, etc etc), rejection (take a wild guess đ) and jealousy ((take an even wilder guess)) angst & implied smut (((pls do not be like jk,, heâs such a douche in this ch))) oc has mean girl vibes... etc etcđšâđłâš
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic âc2uâ // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
đ·ïž permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
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//
When Yuna meets you, she's wearing Taehyungâs jersey.Â
You keep your mouth shut about it, hoping if you donât bring up her situationship with Taehyungâshe wonât bring up yours with Jungkook.Â
Itâs simple girl logic. Something youâve always loved about Yuna is that even though she is the nosiest human to ever existâshe knows her boundaries when it comes to you. With that, youâve always felt safe with her. Eventually, youâll tell her everything. Besides, what fun is being in a situationship when your loving friends come in with their thoughts and concerns? Evidentially bringing the truth to light and ending your delusion?Â
No fun!Â
Speaking of delusionâŠ
âOh my god,â Yuna gasps as she makes an effort to block your view. You huff at her, annoyed at how childish sheâs acting. She waves her arms frantically, trying to keep you focused on the other side of the bleachers. Isnât that ridiculous? For someone trying to get you to avoid looking a specific way, she draws all the attention to it. âBabes, whatever you do, donât lookâ___, seriously? Stop! Please, youâre just going toââ
In disbelief, you grumble; âwhy is Mina wearing Jungkookâs jersey?â
Your own words make you want to throw up.Â
What the actual fuck.Â
Sheâs standing a few feet away from the soccer team with her friends. The towels in their handsâat this point should be pompomsâmake them look so⊠Entitled? You donât even know half of the girls sheâs standing with. Yet, you hate them.Â
You despise them and the way they look so perfect.Â
Theyâre all wearing a team memberâs jersey⊠Mina just so happens to have Jungkookâs on. It makes you wonder⊠Did he give that to her? Did they meet after you two fucked? Did he really mean it when he said, âquickie?â
Did he mean anything he said to you at the party? Not that he was making promises... It's just irritating because you almost believed him.Â
Believed in being his girl.
... Whatever that means.
His words were sweet but the way he looked into your eyes was his entire tell. They were sweeter. He had a softness in his gaze. It looked genuineâyou swear it was.Â
âI think the jerseys are from last season⊠Look!â Yuna tugs the fabric of the jersey sleeve to you and begins to point details out. âSee? This is Taehyungâs from this season. Itâs made of thinner material and even the colour is lighter! Minaâs isââ
You turn the other cheek, not bothering to entertain the rest of this conversation. What was the use? Youâd only hurt yourself with all the overthinking and cause drama between you and Jungkook. Besides, you have faith in him. He knows how you feel when it comes to Mina⊠He wouldnât push it, right? And if anything⊠You canât seem to think of a reason why he would be upset with you right now.Â
The quickie was just a quickie.
Not much to say. He was normalâuntil he left. Jungkook had left without saying goodbye and it made you feel a little weird. Not even a text? Not even a heads-up? Not even a kiss? Odd of him.Â
Again, itâs nothing worth starting a fight.Â
⊠And besides, when were you guys the type to fight over things like this? You two arenât dating. Communicationâin this senseâis it really necessary?Â
âShit,â Yuna nudges you. âSheâs waving at us. Wave back so she doesnât know weâre talking shitââ
âWeâre not talking shit,â you hiss. âWho even cares?â
âOkay, jealous era!â Her words earn an eye roll from you. Quickly, you give in and flash Mina a faint smile and wave your hands at her. She giggles and returns to chatting with her friends.Â
âRemind me again⊠Why did I come?â you groan as you take a seat. Ignoring you, Yuna sits down beside you and takes her phone out. You peek over and see that sheâs texting Taehyung good luck. âDo you go to all their games?â
âI try to.â
âWhy?â
âWhat do you mean why?â Yuna snorts. âTaehyung likes the support.â
You bite your tongue.Â
Should you even ask? Itâs probably safer to assume, right?
âDo you like Taehyung?â Your words come out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. Afraid of her reaction, you brace yourself for her defensiveness. Instead, her lips curve into a smirk.
âDo you like Jungkook?â
Stupid question.Â
Just when Yuna thinks youâre about to react to her question, the crowd begins to cheer. You two turn your attention to the field where your Uniâs team and the opposing team all come out and shake each otherâs hands. Then, they run a small lap around the bleachers and briefly greet everyone.Â
You watch Jungkook in silence. You donât cheer his name or even wave. It doesnât matter though. He sees you.Â
When he does, he playfully squints his eyes and tilts his chin up. With both of his hands, he makes the OK hand gesture and brings the circle parts to his eyes. Then, he flips one.Â
69.Â
Your eyes widen. As you throw your head back to laugh, out of instinct, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles and returns your gesture by blowing you a kiss.
Mina watches as he blows his kiss towards you.
Her cheers go quiet. For a split second, you two make eye contact. She smiles at you shyly. You gulp and turn your attention back to the field. Shortly, the game begins. As the crowd cheers, she finds her mood again. Meanwhile, your attention goes back and forth to Mina, cheering on the sidelines, and Jungkook, playing like losing isnât an option.
For some reason, you feel a little bad. Sheâs so supportive and cute (you hate to admit it)⊠And heâs⊠Well, why does it matter what he is? All you know is that he isnât hers.Â
Yet, he isnât yours either. Â
Jungkook scores the final goal.Â
Of course, he does.Â
As the crowd goes wild, you canât help but join in. His teammates run to him, engulfing him like the ace he is. Jungkook pokes his head out and looks at the crowd. When his eyes land on you, you offer him and smile and a thumbs up. He sticks his tongue out at you before he returns to his victorious team.Â
Shortly after, Yuna guides you down to the field the minute your area clears. As she does this, you canât help but feel a little nervous. What were you going to say to him? Even if you had already seen and spent time with him today, right now feels a lot different.Â
The way to the field isnât that long of a walk. Suddenly, youâre standing across from him. Heâs saying his last few goodbyes to his teammates and hanging back with Taehyung. Yuna sprints to Taehyung, happily congratulating him and teasing his soccer moves. You watch in awe as the two bond and laugh together. Walking to Jungkook, you keep your head high.Â
He would be happy you showed up, right? You didnât text him that you were coming⊠But this is a good surprise! At least, you hope it is. He mentioned not telling you about the game because he didnât feel like begging you to come. Well, here you are. No begging and no sour attitude. Youâre here for him.Â
Itâs all shits and giggles until Mina beats you to him.
Heâs only a few steps away from you, but in an instantâhe feels so far away. You pause, wondering if you should continue to walk to him. It doesnât matter if he was watching or waiting for you to come to him; you can leave right now. You could turn around and just wait by the bleachers. Or⊠You could just go home.
Perhaps thereâs a look in your eye that gives your thoughts away or maybe, your friends just know you too well.Â
Yuna catches you backing away. She glares at you and side-eyes the direction towards Jungkook. In response, you shake your head with a polite smileâa smile that is trying to mask the fact that you kind of want to rip Minaâs cute head off.Â
Polite.Â
Just as youâre about to turn away, you feel someone grab onto your forearm. Looking up, you realize itâs Eunwoo.Â
âWhen we were dating, I almost always begged you to come to these games,â Eunwoo complains, grinning ear to ear. âFunny seeing you here.â
Eunwoo isnât on the team.
He doesnât even play soccer, really. Basketball is more of his thing. In all fairness, he loves sports and a lot of his friends are on the soccer team. When you two were dating, you were almost never together on Friday nights because of these stupid games. Heâd beg for you to come with him and youâd reject and promise him your Saturday night.Â
âYou arenât even on the team,â you laugh, earning an embarrassed grin from him. âWhatâs the point of going to a game if your boyfriend isnât on the team?â
He tilts his head. Suddenly, your words sink in. Did you really just say that?
âI came with Yuna!â you attempt to save yourself. âShe always comes to these things⊠For Taehyung or something.. IâI just thought Iâd c-check it out.â
Eunwoo gives you a funny look.
You arenât sure if he bought your excuse but youâll pretend like he did just to salvage any dignity you have left. Everything feels so embarrassing right now. Nothing is going your way and you just feel so out of place.Â
Is it overstimulation?
You came all this way to see one personâwhy are there so many other people?
âAre you here to see Jungkook?â Eunwoo asks bluntly. âYou know⊠Since heâs on the team.â
Eyes widened, you shake your head profusely. âEw! W-what? No! Who said that? Iâm here because my friends are on the team andââ
âYouâre a bad liar,â he interrupts you. âAlways have been. You should stick with being honest.â
You huff at him. Out of everyone here, heâs probably your safest option when it comes to admitting the truth. In a wayâin your wayâyou give in.
âHeâs talking to Mina.â
âOh,â Eunwoo turns his head, seeing for himself what all your fuss is about. When he takes it all in, he turns back to you with a shrug. âSheâs cute.â
âShe is cute⊠You should date her.â
Eunwoo rolls his eyes before engulfing you in a bear hug. He ruffles your hair, knowing you hate it when he does this. You groan and shove him away from you. As you compose yourself, he sighs.Â
âYah, ___,â Eunwoo lifts his finger and points at you. With a serious tone, he warns you: âDonât be so obvious with your jealousy. It hurts my feelings that you never acted this jealous when it came to me.â
You smile at him sweetly. âThatâs because youâre a well-trained dog.â
âOuch!â Eunwoo laughs, pretending you hurt his heart. âYes, itâs true. What can I say? Any day being your bitch is a good day to be a dog⊠Thatâs why Iâm still begging for you back even though I broke up with you.â
With a whiney tone, you say, âoh, shut up.âÂ
âStill a no to the whole getting-back-together-with-me thing?â he winks, sightly kidding and slightly not. You cross your arms and shake your head at him. He attempts one last time. âAwh, come on! We can even fake date just to get a reaction out of Jungkook⊠I have no problem betraying friendship for love.â
âOh my god, shut up!â
This time, you roll your eyes at him and tell him heâs being ridiculous. You remind him that his little drunken confession at the party was close to meaningless. He knew from the very start that youâre the type to move on when things end. Good or bad, you never look back. Youâve lived your life this way for so longâyou canât recall whether it brought you more luck or pain.Â
Eunwoo doesnât care for your little speech. Instead, he laughs and continues to push your buttons.
âWow, you must love Jungkook at this point. You know, you can just say that, right? You loveeeeââ
You lunge yourself to him, attempting to playfully put him in a chokehold. Heâs a lot taller than you so you struggle. Honesty, itâs cute and he canât resist you. Eunwoo laughs and bends his knees, pretending to struggle as you seek revenge. He gives in, letting you have your way.
Meanwhile, Jungkook canât concentrate on his conversation with Mina.
The big smile on his face faded as he watched you turn away when you were only a few steps away from him. How could you do such a thing? You walking towards him made him so happy. It was a sight he had been daydreaming of for the past few days. Though he saw you just hours before, he didnât expect to see you at the game.Â
He thought you didnât care.Â
Yet, there you were.Â
Shit, how does he even begin to explain how it felt to see you there? How annoying it was when you threw your head back to laugh, and his heart raced like never before? He was obsessed with you. Every little thing you doâhe was your number one fan.Â
Except for moments like these.Â
Where you hesitate as you walk towards him. Where you get distracted and forget about him just because your ex showed up.
Where you give up.Â
â... And so, I guess⊠What Iâm trying to ask is if youâd want to grab dinner with me and my friends? And then maybe we could do something after that⊠Alone? Like just the two of us?â Minaâs voice cuts in, interrupting Jungkookâs thoughts of you. âWe could watch a movie at my place? My roommate went home for the weekend so weâd have the place to ourselves.â
He stares blankly, trying his best to process everything Mina is blabbing about.Â
âOhh⊠Thanks for the offer! You know the team and I usually celebrate with dinner together, right? â Jungkook says it happily as if he isnât rejecting her. âNext time?â
Idiot, Jungkook thinks to himself.
No next time. No this time. No nothing.
Why does he do this? Why does he always push things back for Mina when he doesnât even want to reschedule? He doesnât want to reject her⊠But he does.
Within seconds, the disappointment in Minaâs eyes fades when she comes up with a solution. Her eyes light up, believing in the compromise sheâs about to pitch. âThen maybe I could join you guys? Taehyung and Yuna already know me andââ
âBut itâs a team thing.â
Minaâs eyebrows furrow. Slightly offended, she pushes the conversation. âOh⊠But Eunwoo goes. Yuna does too. She isnât on the teamâsheâs just dating Taehyung.â
âNo, she isnât,â Jungkook laughs, finding the assumption cute. âAt least, not yet.â
Itâs not that funny, though. Mina doesnât laugh and the silence between the two is heavy. Her facial expression drops, indicating her mood shifts to something less enthusiastic.
Annoyance?
Desperation?
Hurt.
â___ isnât on the team. She isnât dating you⊠But sheâll be there, right?â Mina chokes her words out as if sheâs accepting her defeat. Saying this is a wildcard, but she plays it anyway. âOr what I mean to say is that sheâs not dating you⊠Not yet. Haha.â
Jungkook opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Itâs dry and itâs⊠Nothing. No words, no thoughts.
He canât think of a defense and he isnât even really sure what heâs supposed to say. In his lifetime, he has gotten more than a handful of confessions⊠But for some reason, this one feels painful.
Pitiful.
âI donât know what you want me to say,â Jungkook breathes. He scratches the back of his neck and looks at Mina shyly. âI really appreciate the supportâI really do. Itâs just⊠I never wanted yours.â
Mina stares at him blankly.
âOkay, I get that⊠But⊠This is what you do when you like someone. You do thoughtful things they never ask for. You sit through their practices even if itâs pouring rain or hot as fuck. You wash your towels with their favourite laundry detergent because they mentioned they're sensitive to strong scentsâno, actually⊠I think you drive them home and ignore the other girl who sits with his friends and waits for him⊠Right? You blow her kisses from across the field instead of the girl that helped set up for the game.â
Jungkookâs heart drops.Â
âMinaââ
âI waited for you and you never came. You didnât even text me. Do you know how that feels? To wait for someone and they donât evenâgod, I like you so much I made myself look sooo stupid.â Mina groans in frustration. She puts her hands to her face, taking a breath in before continuing to get things off her chest.
âI shouldâve left. Instead, I stayed and checked my phone every two minutes in case you texted. Then, I thought, okay⊠At least I can try to bond with your friends. But you know what? All they could talk about was you and ___. I sat there, listening and nodding like an idiot.â
Fuck.
Jungkook wants to sympathize with her, but canât find the words or the strength to reach out. As he hesitates, Mina gathers her final thoughts and makes her last few moves. Abruptly, she shoves the towel in her hands to Jungkookâs chest.Â
âShe didnât even know you joined the team again after quitting. She has never gone to a game until today. She doesnât even chant your name or cheer when you score a goal. Sheâs over there, flirting with her ex-boyfriend while youâre here rejecting me.â Mina fumes. âIs that who youâre going to pick over me? If so, fine. Nice choice, Jungkook. I wish you the best. Thanks for wasting my time.â
âYou chose to be here. Look at yourself. Why are you even wearing that?â Jungkook points at the jersey she has on. Mina tightens her lips, suddenly feeling ridiculous. She pushes past him but pauses when Jungkook mumbles the words, âYou led yourself on.â
Sharply, Mina raises her voice. âShe doesnât even want you.â
Ouch.Â
Minaâs words hit Jungkook right in the heart. Right in the spot where his insecurities and overthinking take placeâthe words strike him.Â
They hurt him.
They kill him.
âDonât speak for her,â he warns, gaze lowered and stern. âShe may not have cheered as loud as you during the game, but who fucking cares when she was chanting my name the other night⊠Or was it before the game today? I canât remember. Fucked around too much to remember.â
Mina darts Jungkook a glare. âYouâre an insensitive asshole. Do you know that?â
Jungkook huffs, beginning to feel frustrated. âYour feelings are yours, my feelings are mine. So, you donât get to say shit about ___ to meânot about the way she treats me or her choices. Iâm a grown man, Mina. I can figure it out when I need to pull out and how much shit I can take.â
âMind giving me a few lessons, then?â she asks, eyes beginning to tear up. âI think I put up with yours for a minute too long.â
Everything becomes difficult in that exact second. Thereâs so much empathy Jungkook wants to express, but can not. He should not. He needs to pull away now or else he would be doing exactly what sheâs accusing him of doingâleading her on.Â
âIâm sorry, Mina,â Jungkook apologizes softly, truly feeling stuck. âI donât know what Iâm supposed to do.â
Mina sighs, eyes watery from the tears that threaten to fall. âYouâre a grown man, Jungkook. You can figure it out when you need to pull out and how much shit you can take.âÂ
Jungkook lowers his head, feeling bad for his harsh words. A part of him hates how this interaction went down. He couldâve been kinder. He shouldâve been kinder. At the same time, it feels like this is all worth it. Thereâs no better way to end things than just to cut everything off.Â
Still, he attempts one last time.Â
âMina,â Jungkook raises his face and looks at her in the eyes. âLook, I was as honest as I could be. I didnât know I would like her so much. I didnât know Iâd feel this way about her at all⊠It just happened. I donât mean to be an asshole. I didnât mean to lead you on. Iâm so sorry. With my whole heart, I am so fucking sorry."
Mina gulps, a little taken aback by his words. Thereâs a relief in her heart when Jungkook expresses his feelings to her. At least, there was clarity.
At least, he was honest.
At least, it ends like this.Â
She balls her fists and raises them. Waving them in the air, slowly and cutely, she smiles at Jungkook one last time.
Softly, she cheers, âgo, Jungkook. Go.â
In the past, the friendgroup seating arrangement was a no-brainer. The order always went: other friends, you, Yuna, Taehyung, and then Jungkook. This was the blueprint.Â
Tonight, itâs different.
It earns a few confused looks, but nothing major. No one thinks twice about it. Maybe thatâs because they didnât catch the small moment in betweenâthe one where Jungkook tugged on the hem of your crewneck and you complied. Taking a seat beside him, he keeps his hands near yours.
Though the restaurant is packed and busy, sitting beside Jungkook feels slow.Â
Was this even possible? For time to feel like it slows down when youâre beside him? Itâs like every gesture he makes, every word that comes out of his mouth, and every stolen glance at you feels mindlessly slow. Yet, your heart races beside him. Even then, you canât deny how gentle he is.Â
How every fingertip brush he makes is intentional. How he eventually hooks his pinky onto yours. How he inches closer and closer to you. Each time, you look away and pretend you donât notice it. You do. You really do.Â
It feels strange.
Back at the field, it felt like he didnât pay attention to you. Was it because of whatever he and Mina had discussed moments before? He didnât talk about it when he joined you and Eunwoo. Instead, he kindly greeted you two and excused himself to quickly shower at the locker room before heading out to dinner. You and Eunwoo agreed to wait for him.Â
So, you canât put your finger on it.
He was acting strange, but it wasnât like anyone else was saying anything about it. A part of you wonders if itâs all in your head. Even though he had acknowledged your presence and excused himself politelyâit felt like he was distant.Â
It hurt your feelings.Â
Why is he acting so weird? The possibilities you make in your head feel limited. The entire way here, you kept replaying moments between you two recently. What could have gone wrong? What could you have done wrong? What about him changed his mind about you? These thoughts flooded your mind so much that you didnât even realize that he tugged on your crewneck for you to sit down beside him.Â
Now, here you are.Â
Mind racing with anxious thoughts, sitting beside the man who is the cause.
Your mind is telling you one thing, but his actions are proving otherwise. You donât know which to believe and it makes you unsure of what to do. Everything is muffled and you can barely make out the small talk happening around you. The only thing clearer than your confused feelings are Jungkookâs gentle touches.
⊠That is until Yuna and Eunwoo begin to argue.Â
âDonât you usually sit beside her?â
Yuna dismisses him. âWho cares?â
âI do,â Eunwoo protests. âIf anyone is going to steal your seat, itâs going to be me!â
âNo! You canât. You can sit beside Taehyungââ
Eunwoo crosses his arms at her. âI thought you liked me. Am I no longer your favourite?â
His words trigger Yunaâs shoulders to drop. She bites her tongue and side eyes Jungkook. Jungkook catches her look and simply clears his throat. Then, he nudges you.Â
âLet Yuna sit beside you.â Jungkookâs tone is serious yet casual. You tilt your head at him and give him a weird look.Â
âWhy does it matter?â you press. In all honesty, you aren't sure of what answer to expect. You're just poking the bear just because you can.
âIâm sitting beside you,â Jungkook points out. âIt only makes sense that Yuna sits on your other side. Your favourite people in the world, you know?â
Unfazed, you shake your head. âBe honest⊠Do you not want Eunwoo to sit beside me?â
âIâm sitting beside you. Focus on that.â
You huff. âItâs yes or no, Jungkook.â
âOr.â
He answers without a lighthearted tone. Without a smile. Without the intention of miscommunicating what he wants. You canât help but pity him. Itâs obvious heâs a little sensitive right now and considering how he left things with you earlierâmaybe you should be kinder. Maybe you should cater to him tonight.Â
But⊠At the same timeâŠÂ
Jungkook is being difficult, so maybe you should run the same play.Â
Okay, fine.Â
Since the ball is in your court, you shoot your shot.Â
âEunwoo,â you say sweetly, âsit beside me. Yuna can sit beside Taehyung.â
Taehyung, who is sitting across from you, gulps. He instantly feels like heâs caught in the middle. Between trying to please every request Yuna throws at him to catering to his friendsâwhen would this agony end? When could he finally have peace and not get poop anxiety from all this drama?
âBut ___ââ
You hush your best friend. Yuna pouts and glares at Eunwoo. Truth be told, she doesnât care if sheâs the one sitting beside you or notâshe just didnât want it to be Eunwoo. For Jungkookâs sake; she wanted it to be him. But by the looks of it, Jungkook is in a mood and youâre way too in your head tonight. Ultimately, she accepts her defeat and slumps beside Taehyung.Â
Taehyung tries to cheer her up by pointing at her favourite foods. It works. She instantly smiles and sits up with pep. He lets out a breath of relief and shares a look with Jungkook. A, that-was-a-close-one kind that makes Jungkook laugh. You watch as he laughs and canât help but feel your annoyance begin to fade.Â
Okay⊠Itâs confirmed. Heâs in a weird mood tonight, but heâs still Jungkook.Â
He is still your Jungkook.Â
As Eunwoo settles beside you, he strikes up a conversation with the other teammates around him. On your left, you just hear Eunwoo talking your ear off. On your right, Jungkook goes on his phone and goes quiet. Only every so often would he chuckle or make a side comments.Â
Itâs then that you realize you hate where youâre sitting.Â
So, you do the only logical thing you can.Â
Flirt with him.
Slowly, you place your hand on Jungkookâs thigh. You lean forward, pressing some weight on him. He puts his phone down and looks up at you. Cutely, you smile at him and take your hands off his lap.Â
Patting his head, you softly tell him; âJungkook, you played well.â
You run your fingers through his damp hair and look into his eyes. You bat your eyelashes a few times, attempting to act cute. Deep inside, you hope this works. You hope you win him over.Â
You do.
Right then and there, all his plans go out the window. He will never get used to this. He loves hearing praises from your lips. In complete trance of how you say it, what you say, and why you say itâeverything. He craves for you to be obsessed with him the way he is with you.Â
So, fuck it.
He could pause his sulky attitude for you.Â
Anything for you.Â
Jungkookâs lips curve into a half smile. âDonât be cute.â
âWhy?â you pout. âIs it working?â
âAre you trying to entice me?â He chuckles before leaning close to you and lowering his voice. âItâs working, Iâll admit that⊠But itâs kind of shameless of you to be trying so hard right now. Our friends are here, ___⊠Donât start shit you canât finish, pookie.â
Playfully, you hit his shoulder. âI always finish.â
âIs that so?â
You look at him as innocent as possible. âYeah. Thanks to you.â
Jungkook goes dizzy.
As heâs about to make a shameless remark, the waiter squeezes himself in between you two and places water down for the table. Everyone thanks him and reaches for a cup. Jungkook hands you one and you drink it.Â
âThirsty as always,â he shakes his head at you fondly.Â
Then, he takes a sip of his water. By complete accident, some water spills and gets the corner of his mouth and a bit of his chin wet. You laugh, put down your cup, and tug on your sleeves. Without much thought, you move closer to him and use your sleeves to dry him.Â
âYou always spill your drink,â you nag. âAre you a child?â
He stays still, not wanting you to move away. âNo.â
You taunt him. âBaby.âÂ
âWho the fuck is baby?â Jungkook mimics.Â
Lowering your gaze, you send him a warning look. He laughs and puts his hands up in surrender. As you finish cleaning him up, you sneak in a final comment. âYah, a lot of girls would break up with you if you do this shit on a first date⊠Such an ick. Imagine going out with a guy that needs a sippy cup.â
Jungkook rolls his eyes at how extensive youâre stretching this out. âItâs charming. I make it charming. My girlfriend would just have to get over it. Itâs that simple.â
âSure,â you agree with a sarcastic tone. âAs if I can ever get over it.â
At this point, Jungkook is going to lose track of how many times youâve made his heart skip a beat. This is completely unfair. How do you say shit like that so easily and captivate him without even knowing? Should he say something about it?Â
As he opens his mouth to speak, he loses his chance.Â
â___, Jungkook,â Eunwoo chimes in, âSince this is ___âs first time eating with the team⊠Should we just order our usual?â
Jungkook nods, agreeing with the suggestion. You do the same and state you feel indifferent. Eunwoo then goes on and on about the food. He tells you about the dishes he thinks youâll like and which ones you should avoid due to your preferences. All the shit he says are things Jungkook has noticed about you beforeâit just annoys the hell out of him that Eunwoo is telling you all this shit like heâs still your boyfriend.Â
He isnât.Â
So, he should shut the fuck up, right?
Jungkookâs thoughts are put on pause when his phone vibrates. He looks at the notification and reads:
Yuna [8:07PM]: stop making that face
Yuna [8:07PM]: idk if u're jealous or need to shit
Jungkook [8:08PM]: lol but like did u see her flirting w me đđ€
Yuna [8:08PM]: yes. do u want a medal or smt?
Jungkook [8:09PM]: she wants me fr đŠđ
Yuna [8:11PM]: is that why she nd eunwoo look like they're abt to kiss?? đł
Instantly, Jungkook looks up from his phone and turns to you. You're just laughing and talking with Eunwoo. No kissing in sight.
Yuna [8:11PM]: made u look đ€Ł
Jungkook [8:13PM]: not funny.
Yuna's laughter fills the room. You turn to her, breaking away from your conversation with Eunwoo.
"What's so funny?" you ask.
She shrugs with a smug smile on her face. Pointing at him, she teases, "Jungkook's in a mood."
You look at Jungkook and see him roll his eyes. He sinks into his seat and mutters a few inaudible words. From the looks of it, you can almost swear that his eyes were a little teary. Was he about to cry or something?
"You okay?" you ask him softly. Your concern grows as he lifts his face and looks at you. He looks tired. Exhausted even. "Do you wanna talk?"
Jungkook feels a sense of relief.
You care.
Thank god you care.
In response, he squeezes your thigh. âIâm good,â he promises. âYou okay?â
You nod, leaning in. âMore than.â
It happens so fast. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you were barely an inch away from his lips. He even dipped his headâand then you caught yourself.
Holy shit, were you just about to kiss him? In front of everyone? When did this become second nature? You want to believe that only you caught yourself⊠But itâs too late. Jungkook was bracing himself.Â
He knew what you were about to do. He was giving in too.
As you break away, his heart breaks a little. Laughing awkwardly, you turn back to Eunwoo and continue your conversation with him. At this point, he isnât sure if heâs just hangry or purely annoyed with everything and everyone. He feels so alone. He hates that youâre right beside him too.Â
Heâs so fucking over this.Â
When the food arrives, the spread is breathtaking. Maybe itâs because everyone is hungry as fuck and the game was a huge success, but the mood suddenly lightens. The smell of meat being grilled and the sound of the side dishes being passed around was music to everyoneâs ears.Â
As Jungkook grills the meat, he places the first one ready on your plate. He continues to pile your plate. With lingering eyes, Taehyung groans out in frustration.Â
âYah!â He cries, âthatâs unfair. You canât possibly give ___ all that meat! Give me some!â
Yuna hits him playfully and tells him to let Jungkook be. She reaches over to the other grill and places meat on his plate. Taehyung huffs, and sinks into his seat.Â
âJungkook used to put meat on my plate first.â Taehyung continues to whine.
You all hear him but choose to ignore his words. You arenât even sure how youâre supposed to act with this. Jungkook was always sweet to you. He has always looked out for you. He has been a gentleman⊠Now that youâre paying attention to himâyou canât help but feel so infatuated.Â
You're drawn to him.
âDo you even eat that much meat?â Eunwoo teases, as he reaches over your plate and picks a piece of meat off. He shoves it in his mouth and you laugh at him. His cheeks are all puffy from the food he stuffed in.Â
âNo, but that doesnât mean you can steal it off my plate,â you mutter. âYouâre such a thief.â
âI stole your heart once upon a time,â he reminds you. âIâll be the thief if youâre the cop.â
You cringe at him. âThank god you broke up with me.â
âYou used to love my lines!â Eunwoo jokes, suddenly ruffing your hair like how he did at the field. You shove his hand away and groan at him.Â
Jungkook witnesses it all.
The entire time, he feels like heâs being tortured. Sure, youâre allowed to have other guy friends. Sure, youâre allowed to have exes⊠So why was this bothering him so much? Eunwoo is a good guy too! Heâs his friend and itâs not like Jungkook has dibs. If weâre being realisticâEunwoo had you first.Â
Cue Jungkookâs insecurities.Â
Do they know how long it took for Jungkook to get to where he is with you right now? How long he had to wait just for him to be able to hook your pinkies together under a table? How long it took for you to sit down beside him without arguing? How long it took for you to accept his presence? How long it took him to get you to act cute?
Too long.
And here Eunwoo isâa mere ex-boyfriendâgetting your banters and treating you like youâre still his.Â
It makes Jungkook sick to his stomach. Heâs losing his appetite by the second.
His thoughts are put on pause when Eunwoo proclaims: â___, look! Our favourite⊠Perilla leaves!â
Jungkookâs eyes bulge.Â
You smile at Eunwoo and practically celebrate with him. As he picks one up with his chopsticks, another sticks to it. As you pick up your chopsticks, you take the other side and peel the perilla leaf apart. Together, you and Eunwoo giggle and wrap the perilla leaf with some meat. Suddenly, he brings his wrapped perilla leaf to your mouth. Happily, you eat what he offered.
âGood bite, baby.â Eunwoo praises you.
With a mouth full, you childishly hit him and scold him for not taking a bite himself. Eunwoo listens and picks up another perilla leaf. You two repeat to peel them a part andâ
Jungkook wants to kill himself.
Oh god, he wants to rip Eunwooâs head off.Â
To make matters worse, Yuna attempts to be of rescue.
"Eunwoo," she gasps. "Aren't you being a little too shameless?"
Eunwoo shrugs as he prepares another bite for you. "Yuna, just because there's a goalie doesn't mean I can't score."
That does it. Something inside Jungkook snaps. He wants to be so mad at youâno, he is so mad at you.
How could you do this to him? How could you let Eunwoo say such things?
Donât you know what this all means? Falling in love. Marriage. Children. A whole fucking nuclear future with someone that wasnât him. Itâs fucking insane youâd let Eunwoo go this far⊠And right in front of Jungkook? Were you serious? Do you hate him this much?
In a hurry, Jungkook takes his phone and opens his iMessage. He taps on your nameâ which is easy because itâs pinnedâand sends you a text.Â
Then, he puts his phone down and begins to shove food into his mouth. He stays quiet and glares at the meat as if the meat did him wrong too. He canât even begin to express how he feelsâitâs just all over the place. He is all over the place.
When his text is sent, your phone vibrates. You glance at Jungkook, a little confused as you see that he sent you a text. Sliding your phone open, you tap on his message.
mfker [8:32PM]: video attachment
Curiously, you tap on the video. As it loads, you turn down your phone volume just in case it was too loud. When the volume icon goes away, your screen reveals a familiar zooming in shot of Jungkook's face. He rolls his eyes and you hear yourself laugh. Suddenly, the angle switches to you holding the camera out at arms length.
You see the corner of your face. Your boobs. Your ass. His abs. His smirk. Him. Naked.
Your hands fly to your mouth, stopping yourself from gasping out-loud.
The sex tape.
Your sex tape with him.
In a split second, you shut your phone and turn it over. Wide-eyed, you push yourself away from the table and make the effort to excuse yourself. Everyone acknowledges your announcement but for Jungkook. He doesnât even look up.
As you get up, you turn to him. You utter under your breath, âmeet me outside. We need to talk.â
The minute Jungkook slams his car door shut, you get right to the point.Â
âWhat the fuck was that?â
Jungkook settles into his seat, unafraid of your anger. He was unashamed. What he did was reckless, yes, but it was no mistake.Â
With a nonchalant tone, he answers you. âWhat? The video? You told me to send it to you.â
Groaning, you bring your hands to your face. âNot during dinner! Not when our friends are sitting beside us! That was fucking embarrassing. Are you trying to humiliate me? That shit is private. It's us intimate. What kind of game are you playingââ
âIâm not playing any fucking game,â Jungkook controls his rage. âWhy are you so embarrassed? Because itâs me fucking you in that video and not Eunwoo?â
Your eyes widen at his words.Â
You want to scream. Instead, with a calm and slow tone, you confront him. âSo⊠Thatâs what this is about?âÂ
Jungkook sighs heavily, clearly fed up with this conversation already. He doesnât answer you. Instead, he reaches over and opens his glove compartment. As he rummages through, you huff at his avoidance. When he finds what he needs, he aggressively shuts the compartment closed. You watch as he brings his device to his lips. Inhaling, he takes a hit of his vape.Â
You glare at him.
âCan you do that on your own time? Iâm trying to talk to you.â
He turns to you and blows a puff at you.Â
âJungkook,â you warn him, âstop it.â
In response, he shrugs and takes a final hit.Â
âI didnât even know you vape,â you say quietly. âArenât you supposed to take care of your body and shit? As an athlete?â
He chuckles at the label. Athlete. Sure, thatâs what he was⊠But he was also on a break for a good amount of time. He was also human.Â
âIâm just stressed,â he admits. âYou make me stressed.â
You laugh and take the opportunity to grab the vape from his hands. Without much thought, you open your door and toss it out. He rolls his eyes and just as heâs about to open his car door to retrieve itâyou catch his wrist.Â
âCan you focus on me?âÂ
As much as he hates to admit it, your words will always win him over. Even though he hesitates, he surrenders. Jungkook settles himself into his seat again and puts his hands on the wheel. Bowing his head, he shuts his eyes and takes a moment.Â
Silence fills the car as you two try to figure out which direction this conversation should go. So far, not so good.Â
You attempt once again. This time, you go from a different angle.Â
âWhy did you leave me earlier today? I know you were busy but⊠You didnât even say goodbye.â In all honesty, you hate it when you say shit like this. You feel so weak and like you could let out a sob in between words. Not to mention the fact that youâre rarely in this position. This was new. You have never fought for anyone the way you fight for Jungkook.
âI had a game.â
Jungkookâs concise answer irks you. Was he fucking serious? Could he try even just a little bit?
âI know you had a game.. At least, I found out through Minaâs Instagram post⊠Which⊠I mean, you didnât even bother telling me you had a game. Yuna goes to thoseâI can too.â
No.
Thatâs not even what you really mean to say. What you mean to say is: I want to go to your games. I want you to want me to be there. I want you to care if Iâm there or not. I want to be the one wearing your fucking jersey.Â
Jungkook responds plainly, âI told you⊠I didnât feel like begging for you to come.â
âYou donât have to beg,â you pitch. âI would haveââ
âYou would have what?â he sneers. âWould you have come then? Without me asking? Without me telling you? Or did you come out of spite? Like, the fact that Mina was around me and you werenât⊠Is that what brought you to me today?âÂ
Hilarious.
Wow, what a dick.
âNo,â you object. âI came because you came over for a quickie and then left. Without a word. Without a kiss. It was unlike you. I wanted to talk about it but youâre acting like this and I canâtâI donât understand whatâs going on. Jungkook, whatâs going on?â
At this point, you're practically desperate. You reach for his hands. Eyes searching for his, he shakes your grip off his hands the second you intertwine them. You furrow your eyebrows, completely confused and shocked at his rejection. Wasnât this what he wanted?
âI hate you.â
Suddenly, your throat feels dry. In an attempt to calm your mind, you search for his hands again. For the second time, he pushes yours away. Then, you brace yourself. What he says next could ultimately be the end⊠Right? This is where everything is headed.Â
The end.Â
Then, he says the oddest thing.Â
âI hate perilla leaves.â
You tilt your head at him. âWhat?â
âAre you going to marry him?â
You blink.
âWho?â
âEunwoo.â
For a moment, you wonder if heâs joking. Was he actually serious? Your question is answered as Jungkook lifts his head and looks at you with a sad expression. It takes you by surprise. Come to think of itâyouâve never seen him upset. At least, not like this. Not sad. Not defeated.
âYouâre mad at me⊠Because of a perilla leaf?â
Your loss for words. Unexplainable. Unbelievable.
He looks at you with despair. âDo you not get it? ___, the next thing to happen after you peel perilla leaves with someone is holding hands with them. Then, you fall in love. Marriage. Babies. What about me? What happens to me, huh? What happens to us? You don't even hold my hand.â
Youâre dumbfounded.Â
âJungkook, you canât be seriousâŠâ
âHe patted your head. Are you a fucking dog?â
Sharply, you mention, âI patted your head too.â
It doesnât matter. He looks at you dead in the eyes. âEunwoo is supposed to be your ex-boyfriend, not your fiancĂ©.â
You almost gag. âHeâs not my fiancĂ©ââ
âYou peeled the perillaâno. You let him feed you. Fuck you for that.â
Frustrated, you curse. âHoly shit, do you hear yourself?âÂ
He doesn't utter another word. Instead, he stays quiet. Then, when you open your mouth to speak, he beats you to it.
âI hate Eunwoo.â
A beat.
âI hate Mina.â
Just as expected, Jungkook provokes you.Â
âWhat the hell does Mina have to do with thisââ
âEverything!â you express rather triggered. "Look, I don't know what you expect from me. Iâm not going to go to your fucking practices with a towel in my hand ready to wipe your precious golden sweat. Iâm not Minaââ
Jungkook cuts you off only to repeat his question. âWhat the hell does you not being Mina have to do with all of this? How does that justify the perilla leaf?â
At this point, you feel like you're losing your mind. Childishly, you chant: âFuck the perilla leaf. The issue is that you're all about her. Mina this, Mina that! Youâre so fucking annoying with herââ
Jungkook snaps. âAre you this insecure?â
âFuck that,â you grumble. âShe was wearing your jersey today. How do you think that made me feel?â
He glares at you. âYouâre fucking insane if you think I rather see her wear my jersey over you.â
âWhyâd she have it on then?â you interrogate. âAre you fucking her too?â
Line: crossed.
There's madness in Jungkook's eyes. His chest burns in slow anger and feels like he's overheating from everything you've said and done thus far. He's tired.. He feels like he's losing.
Fuck it.
One last fight.
One last try.
âAre you fucking serious?â Jungkook slows down his words, trying his best not to raise his voice. Itâs so fucking hard. Heâs so irritated by your attitude and your fucking delusion. â___, I acted like a total douche to Mina today so sheâd leave me alone. I feel horrible already, but I also feel relieved. So, stop it. You donât have to hate her. You shouldnât hate her. You donât need to make these fucking assumptions because thatâs just out of line.â
Like fire, your own anger consumes you. âAre you defending her?â
âThereâs nothing to defend,â he insists, voice beginning to tremble. âHoly shit, I was such a douche to her already so you can chill.â
You glare at him. âI am chill.â
Lies.
âYou gave me a blowjob that one time so I wouldnât make it to my dinner plans with her,â he comments. âThat was a pretty bitch move.â
Out of reflex, your mouth drops a little. You can not believe it. Did he really bring that up? âExcuse me?â
Jungkook blinks at you. âIt was a bitch move. I didnât mind, though. Why? Because it felt like you wanted me. Every time you make me feel that wayâI canât let that shit go.â
âSo what? Do you want me to say thank you?â you spit. âAre you fucking kidding me? I donât care if youââ
âYou never asked for it, I get that,â Jungkook interrupts you. He takes a minute. Suddenly, he recalls his moment with Mina at the field and feels his heart break a little. So... This is what it feels like to be on the receiving end. âWhat Iâm saying is that I stopped entertaining her because Iâwell, I thought it would ease your heart. You overthink so fucking much, I'm beginning to run out of solutions. Do you even know how much I hate your jokes? The ones about me talking to other girls? I hate them. I only talk to you. I only think of you. Only you.âÂ
Your heart drops.Â
âI never asked for any of that.âÂ
Something is wrong.
All your words are wrong. Everything you want to say is not coming out of your mouth. What you mean to say to him is; oh my god. You didnât have to do that for me, but I feel so seen and heard that you did.Â
Jealousy has always been a funny thing. Never has it been triggered the way it is when it comes to you and Jungkook. Though some may argue this to be toxic, it is simply the truth about relationships. Jealousy is a healthy emotion as long as it is expressed and validated moderately. Itâs so hard to be upset with Jungkook when his confessions are so wholesome. He did a kind thing for you. He did it to bring you peace. Here you are, acting ungrateful because you canât fathom the way he cares for you.
Jungkook huffs. â___, thatâs exactly it. You never need to ask when it comes to me. Whatever you want, I give. I fold. Tenfold. Thatâs the fucking cycle weâre in and Iâm beginning to get sick of it.âÂ
A silence falls upon you two. All you hear are the raindrops from the sky begin to splat on his window. For a moment, you get so lost in your thoughts, that your head begins to hurt. After a few more moments of silence, you realize it isn't your head.
It's your heart.
It feels like a knife has been stabbed into itâhis and yours. All at once, it just aches. You both feel it. Your hearts grow tired and fragile.
Truly, it's ironic how the gentle silence is ruined by such brutal words. It's then when the knife, that was stabbed into both of your hearts, twists.
"What do we do now?"
"I think we need a break."
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