#the Bear Claire

[mrscarmenbearzatto]

nurse cupid | carmen berzatto

claire and carmen used to date. you work under claire, and are now dating carmen. what a fucked up triangle ─ 1.33k cw: fem!reader, she/her pronouns used

Ever since you were young, you knew you wanted to be a nurse. Every career day at school, your answer was the same: "I want to be a nurse and help people!" usually written in yellow crayon.

So, managing to score a job in an ER in Chicago was a dream come true. You loved Chicago and your charge nurse, Claire, was one of your closest friends. Emphasis on was. That was before you and Carmy met.

Carmen Berzatto. The boy you met through Syd, one of your oldest friends. After weeks of back and forth flirting, you and him finally asked for each other's numbers and set up a date, much to Syd's apprecation since all he talked about outside of work was you and if you were stopping in.

Claire only found out about your relationship with Carmy after he insisted taking you to work one particularly snowy morning, leaving you with a goodbye kiss.

That day, she gave you more work then usual. More charts, more patients to watch over and check on, and that was on top of your usual work load. Plus, everytime you asked her a question she gave an exhausted sounding sigh and explained it to you like you were a child, with a condescending tone in her voice.

"Claire." You walk over to her, setting the charts (filled out) down on the desk. "What the hell is your issue with me today? You've been giving me your patients and frankly, your attitude towards me is passive aggressive. If there's something I did, tell me what it is and I can fix it." You request.

Her pager beeps as she hums. "The chief wants to see you." She says, beginning to walk off, and you follow her.

──

As soon as you stepped foot into the chief’s office, you knew what was happening. One of the ladies from HR you’d met once before, the chief, and Claire. Sat around a coffee table.

“Hi Y/n. Glad you could join us.” You know that’s HR talk for “glad we summoned you, let’s tell you what you did wrong.”

You sit down, noticing the look Claire gives you. It’s almost a glare.

“Mm. Can I ask what this is about?” You question.

“Well, Claire here has a feeling that you’re trying to shove a personal relationship in her face. I understand you are dating her ex and she just feels that-”

“That you’re basically trying to remind me of what Carmen and I went through. What we once had.” Claire cuts Aileen (the woman from HR) off, tilting her head at you as she waits on a response.

You stare at her, actually letting out a mix of a scoff and a laugh. “I’m sorry? Claire, Carm and you broke up nearly a year ago. Why are you still hooked on him?”

“This isn’t about me. You knew damn well I’d be at work this morning when he dropped you off.” “It was freezing cold! He didn’t want me walking or taking a cold train, so he offered to drive me since it’s on his way to work. He gave me a kiss and I never even brought it up to you.”

“Ladies!” The chief cuts you both off. “Aileen has agreed to investigate this further. Y/n, refraining from engaging with your boyfriend for respect of Claire’s feelings would be best.” He encourages.

You actually have tears in your eyes from the frusturation, your hands shaking from where you sit. "I'm sorry, can you excuse me for a moment?" You ask softly, standing up before they answer and practically running out of the room.

You barely make it out before you hear the office door shut, not by you but by Claire. "Y/n-"

"What the hell did I do to you, huh? Is this because Carmen and you broke up, or maybe because I didn't come running to you asking for your permission before I began dating him? What is it?" You question, throwing your hands in the air before slapping your hands against your side.

"Don't blame me for this. You're the one who had to go and act like a.. like a school girl bitch and put your relationship with him near me." She scolds. The tears you had been fighting back actually start falling at that, as you wipe them quickly. You shake your head, as you push past her and the flood of doctors.

──

Cold air be damned, you cross your arms over your chest as you lean against the brick wall outside. Ambulances soar past toward the ER exit, but you don't pay them any attention. It isn't until a familiar car pulls up in front of you that you actually look up.

"Hey, pretty girl. You okay?" Carmen's comforting voice asks, getting out of his car with his coat in hands, putting it over your shoulders. His heart breaks at the sight of your tears, nose red from probably the cold and crying, a frown matching yours.

You bury your face in his neck, only moving it to speak. "Claire saw you drop me off this morning and reported me to human resources. Then called me a school-girl bitch for 'putting our relationship near her'." You answer, your voice soft.

He nods slowly, trying to keep himself calm near you. "Why don't you go get in the car, huh? I'll go grab your stuff from inside." He asks, taking your hands in his. You smile. "Thanks, Carmy. Just behave yourself, please." You request, before climbing into the passenger seat of the car.

He watches to make sure you're safe in the car before he goes inside, fists clenched at his side. Behaving himself was something Carmen had never enjoyed doing, so why would he?

He spots Claire almost immediately, walking over. "Carmen-" She begins.

"Claire. What the fuck is your problem?" He cuts her off, staring at her. "Y/n has done nothing to you. If you're pissed about how we left things, that's fine. But you have zero right to harass my girlfriend over how I’ve moved on. I suggest you do the same.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply, instead making his way up to the chief’s office. Knocking on the door and waiting for the faint "come in", Carmen steps into the office and clears his throat as his jacket hangs off one arm.

“Hi, sir. My name is Carmen Berzatto, I’m-”

“I know who you are, son.” Ed, the chief, says with a nod. “And I know why you’re here. And I’d like to only say this once, so I’d appreciate your listening. Y/n is a fantastic employee as I'm sure she's a fantastic partner. I hate to see that girl crying. So, allow this to be a warning.." Ed stands, circling the desk and sitting on the edge, arms crossed right in front of Carmen.

".. If you hurt her, and I find she comes into work again crying because of you, I will end you. Are we clear?" Ed asks, and Carmen immediately asks. "Yes, sir, thank you." He says.

Carmen made his way back to the car, finding you in the frontseat, staring at the radio. He sets your bag in the backseat, climbing into the passenger's seat. "Your radio is all weird." You mumble.

He laughs, placing a kiss on your head. "I'm sorry about Claire. I should have told you.. I promise I am gonna spend the rest of the day making it up to you." He says.

You smile at him. "As long as I've got you, I don't care, Carmy. It isn't your fault."

He grins. "Well, you've got me for as long as you'll have me."

──

It doesn't shock anyone when you're moved to a different unit a week later, this time one where your boyfriend didn't date the charge nurse that would harass you. At least if they did, Carmy would be there to comfort you.

Like he always is.

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

shine on, shine on, my loves!

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my carmen berzatto masterlist here for more fanfics!

- mae

#maeberzatto #mae writes! #mae writes: the bear #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto x female reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear claire #carmen berzatto x female reader #nurse!reader au #reader x character #reader insert #i hope yall love this lmfao

[periprose]

lowkey claire is starting to give quirky mary sue girl that the main character falls for... where are her flaws? make her a little flawed like everyone in this show is. I don't care for perfect people especially not in a show like this.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear claire #the bear fx claire #im sorry for spamming it's just that #the more i watch the more im like #fanfiction has written it better #lol

[beauspot]

what’s really funny about them setting claire up as carmy’s love interest is that when he sees claire again their meeting is nearly identical to his and syd’s. they meet and carmy is shocked right?

then his brain starts working again.

Then he smiles.

The only difference is, he’s not uncomfortable when he meets syd for the first time. He’s not nervous either. Which is strange for someone who clearly has an anxiety disorder. but we’re supposed to believe carmy doesn’t have a crush on syd? can we be fucking forreal.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #syd adamu #carmy x syd #syd x carmy #chefs kiss #sydcarmy #the bear claire

[imreadingrespectfully]

More unsolicited opinions about The Bear s2 but I think the thing that annoys me most about Claire is that her character does such a disservice to women in the ER/Hospital environment and field. I live in a major city, I have friends who are ER doctors in said city and it's unbelievably stressful. The things that they see and hear, how a night can go from easy breezy to treacherous in 6 seconds flat and the dissociation of emotions that you have to do just to get through a week sometimes, it’s rough. The job turn over rate in the ER is high for a reason. And then they bring in a character like Claire who just doesn't seem to represent that at all.

Especially for a show like this where they typically do so much research and you can tell that they put so much into making sure that the characters feel very integrated in “real life”. She never really tells Carmy about her day, be it her stresses or her wins, because she was just so wrapped up in him (which is lovely and all) but it just feels like such weak writing in my opinion (Does she even pass the bechdel test?). I really wish they just explored more of the topic of sexism, misogyny and condescension in the medical field or her family or what brings her character joy (outside of a man) because without it she's just a beautiful woman who's one dimensional as hell when hard work and determination are character traits that are required to be a fucking ER doctor. 

I just really wish at some point she told Carmy to shut the fuck up about the restaurant or just take the reins in one of their interactions. Like if I had called my friend on a day we were supposed to hang out and chill from their VERY BUSY schedule and asked them to drive me somewhere to drop something off they would probably drop kick me in the face and I just wanted that energy from Claire. At least once.

#the bear fx #the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear claire #carmy berzatto #my unrequested opinions #molly gordon was great #but seriously #what the hell was that character arc #shoutout to Syd Tina Ritchie and Marcus #they saved the season for me

[zalrb]

Hey! so what did you think about Claire on the bear? I've seen some people call her a mary sue, a mpdg, a pick me which feels a bit much to me lol. I generally agree w people who say that she wasn't fleshed out and felt out of place bc of how carmy viewed her. My only thing is she never felt like an ER Doctor. Her career was supposed to be equally demanding so it should've affected their relationship in some small way at least but she kinda just seemed available for him at any given moment.

One of them I can see an argument for, the other two no. So before I get into the one I can see an argument for, I really need people to understand that these terms actually mean something. They're not blanket descriptors for female characters who annoy you and while we're at it, just for initiumseries, I'm going to add for the record that there aren't male versions of pick mes and manic pixie dream girls because these stock characters (or in the case of a pick me, viewpoints,) are rooted in misogyny

A Pick Me is specific

A Mary Sue is specific

Mary Sue stories—the adventures of the youngest and smartest ever person to graduate from the academy and ever get a commission at such a tender age. Usually characterized by unprecedented skill in everything from art to zoology, including karate and arm-wrestling [...] She saves the day by her wit and ability, and, if we are lucky, has the good grace to die at the end [...]

Like even Nathan Rabin who coined the term MPDG apologized for doing so because it keeps being misused:

I feel deeply weird, if not downright ashamed, at having created a cliché that has been trotted out again and again in an infinite Internet feedback loop. I understand how someone could read the A.V. Club list of Manic Pixie Dream Girls and be offended by the assertion that a character they deeply love and have an enduring affection for, whether it’s Diane Keaton’s Annie Hall or Katharine Hepburn in “Bringing Up Baby,” is nothing more than a representation of a sexist trope or some sad dude’s regressive fantasy.

It doesn't make sense that a character as nuanced and unforgettable as Annie Hall could exist solely to cheer up Alvy Singer. As Kazan has noted, Allen based a lot of Annie Hall on Diane Keaton, who, as far as I know, is a real person and not a ridiculous male fantasy.

From what I can recall, nothing about Claire is "Pick-Meish" or "Mary Sueish", she explains that when they were kids and a girl broke her arm, everyone was freaked out except for her because she wanted to understand the injury, that is not Pick Me-ish.

This is Claire

not this

The fact that she has six months left on her residency doesn't make her a Mary Sue.

Now with regards to being an MPDG, these are the characteristics of one:

That day in 2007, I remember watching "Elizabethtown" and being distracted by the preposterousness of its heroine, Claire. Dunst's psychotically bubbly stewardess seemed to belong in some magical, otherworldly realm -- hence the "pixie" -- offering up her phone number to strangers and drawing whimsical maps to help her man find his way. And as Dunst cavorted across the screen, I thought also of Natalie Portman in "Garden State," a similarly carefree nymphet who is the accessory to Zach Braff's character development. It's an archetype, I realized, that taps into a particular male fantasy: of being saved from depression and ennui by a fantasy woman who sweeps in like a glittery breeze to save you from yourself, then disappears once her work is done.

She isn't quite the "pixie" part of the trope, I don't think she's whimsical enough for that, instead I would say she's the "insufferable female lead in an indie" trope (love this!)

because she does kind of just appear or sweep in to Carmy's life and has this history with him

and instead of giving Carmy her number, she asks for his, therefore the narrative places the onus of initial pursuit on her

she's been carrying this torch for him since they were kids

and her role is to be someone in his life that makes him feel good, that takes his feelings into consideration,

that gives him peace

that urges him out of his shell

that shows him another way he can be and feel outside of the restaurant

while we basically know nothing about her outside of that role.

What makes this iteration more complex than others is not Claire, it's not that she's a fully fleshed out character and we see more than a glimpse of her life and it's not that we get to know about her personally because we don't really, what we get is this

which just goes back round to Carmy and his complicated relationship with food and cooking anyway

the subversion lies with Carmy and how he needs to heal and still has a lot of unprocessed trauma that doesn't go away because Claire entered his life, the show shits all over the typical outcome of the MPDG coming into the male protagonist's life and making it all better.

I'm not saying that they did that purposefully as in they're trying to say something about MPDG, like I don't think the show purposefully framed her as one or views her as one, I think they just wanted to show how deep-rooted generational trauma is and how it presents itself and how it affects your current relationships and it ended up being subverting an MPDG-esque trope for the male protagonist.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, I haven't slept and it's like 5 AM lmao.

#the bear #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #the bear season 2 #the bear claire

[antaresisntmars]

I swear Claire acted more like a dead gf in a flashback than an actual human.

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy the bear #the bear claire #last one I promise lol

[martiansodas-blog]

i usually avoid the term manic pixie dream girl cause it’s coated in a good amount of misogyny… but yeah. claire really thinks that’s her.

#she tryng to fix her man so bad #the bear #carmen berzatto #claire #the bear claire #fox the bear

[mskinkyafro]

Thoughts & Spoilers for S2 of FX The Bear

Overall it was a strong second season that for the most kept up to the same quality as the first, if not excel in some areas. I loved having specialized episodes for side characters and expanding on them.

It’s interesting to see if S3 will be having Carmy at a crossroads or questioning continuing this path and also still having to meet the profit deadline from Unc Jimmy.

Seeing the growth and different connections that each character comes to make The Bear successful and the dedication was truly just perfect and the writing for it blew me away.

Now I think my biggest critiques are regarding the romance aspects and the potential ships.

Claire & Carmy was so insignificant for me. Idk if they really wanted us the viewers to care about her and the relationship. But I felt mainly more upset that Carmy didn’t believe he can be happy and have a healthy work/life balance than Claire leaving.

I personally hope they don’t try to revive or bring this parking back. Not even as Chef Kiss shipper but the fact that we don’t see the impact that Claire really has on Carmy, what about her outside of outdated/pre-date canon lore to see why she’s so great for him and why he likes her?

After episode 6 to me it was made clear that Carmy is with Claire bc of what she represents than truly liking and “loving” her. She is a chance for him to feel normal and not too much of psycho or fucked up person.

I’d further say that his pursuing Claire and exploring this relationship was almost a way to “connect” to Mikey but also avoid “ending up”like Mikey. In the sense we learned how Mikey cared about Carm’s love life and happiness and was pushing him to be with her and so for him to years later be with her it almost like a sign to take his dead brother’s gift. But also the fact that she distracts him from the pressures of launching the restaurant, it helps eases his fear of following Mikey’s footstep and talking about a pipe dream restaurant but never completing anything or making it successful especially his runs with success were short lived bc he couldn’t handle it.

So then the big revelation falls flat and I don’t really feel bad for her bc once again I don’t see how he or even she could love someone in such a short span but what else did he learn about her and what did she learn about him. They both are in love of what they think they know but not the real person.

She understood he’s special but once again, I just felt like she was there to be a conflict engine and plot device for Carmy rather than a real character and it’s unfortunate but bc if that I really don’t care that she’s gone now. I just said hope we don’t see Carmy really going back to her bc I just don’t think the show establishes enough for me the viewer that he really loves this woman. It’s more of the potential than person.

Which goes back to what I said previously posted about that this very thing, perceptions and the understanding of these characters and would stop Carmy and Syd from being together. Now watching the full season I think there’s a clearer understanding of both shortcomings but also more discussion on not just the focus but what the need and expect from the other that’s outside of pristine persona or imposter syndrome that those two hide behind. And also it’s have to be a final season type of establish relationship if they did pursue Chef kiss bc it really is a slow burn that is remisncent of classic tv that I love. To keep the audience on the toes but watching the gradual affection and intimacy change. Shows keep trying to avoid that but I say keep creating bc that’s one of the most beautiful and profound parts of television imo.

Now for Syd and Marcus I peeped how they were trying to set it up and I’m sorry I’m not a fan. I feel like the dynamic should stay as brother/sister or friends. And it feels one sided rather than Syd is purposefully ignoring her feelings bc I don’t feel she has romantic feelings for Marcus and his reaction to her trying to place a boundary during dress rehearsal dinner me the wrong way.

Also in media and tv shows I find it telling when it seems that it’s more palpable to pair the “only” (in the case of the show they aren’t the only but you know what I’m getting at) two black characters just bc they black (that’s the vibes I get from the ships, but that’s my opinion. Others are welcome to disagree) vs having black female lead with the male white lead. Just saying especially how some in the fandom would rather not acknowledge the established connection whether you don’t interpret romantic or not between Syd and Carmy. But Marcus and Syd is just one of the ones that idk is slightly out of left field and doesn’t need to explore and once again, I bring up the point you’d want to maybe breadcrumb that but why the complete hell no for Syd and Camry? Just saying, bombastic side eye 👀

Anyway I get that like many modern shoes and comedy/frame does writers are hell bent on trying to be so cool and different and unlike others before them by being anti-romance but yet utilizing elements of it and trying add some side plots so it’s kinda like which is it?Just saying.

Anyway a great season, I love really dive into the characters and their history and especially the darkness and mental illness of the Berzatto family like probably the best fucking episode of tv I’ve seen. Just the writing the balance of characters to the acting and the direction like truly.

#fx the bear #the Bear #the bear spoilers #the bear s2 #the bear fx #syd adamu #carmy berzatto #the Bear marcus #the Bear Claire #the Bear Berzattos #can’t wait for s3 #interesting to see where it leads

[vivika-ka]

The whole issue with Carm not taking Claire’s call when you can literally just text someone, “Sorry, but could you call me later? I’m literally in the process of trying to open a restaurant, so I’m busy.”

Call the fridge guy and send a text message after, is that so hard?

Like🧍‍♀️

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear season 2 #carmy berzatto #the bear claire #the bear carmy #i mean slay #i didn’t want them to work out anyway lmao #i was so put out by Claire’s presence #the way they didn’t care to flesh out her character #so i could #y’know #care about her #and her being w Carmy #Claire felt like a wall in between Carmy and Syd #because their chemistry was that fucking good #anyway #lazy writing

[eternallovers65]

The writers wrote Claire like this on purpose, right??? Cause ain't no way I just saw her introduce herself to a bunch of people she grew up with. You got Molly Gordon to do this role, and this is how you write her character???

#I'll let it slide because this season has been amazing but wtf is this character???? #the bear fx #the bear claire #molly gordon

[hyperfixatedonstuff]

claire makes me so mad she doesn’t feel real bro like she just pisses me off

#the bear #the bear claire

[periprose]

i'm watching szn 2 and i rly don't get why ppl hate on claire like she's literally a normal nice woman, like am i missing something??

I'm a bit sleepy so idk if I'm gonna answer this right but it's basically that she has no depth to her character and that she's a manic pixie dream girl. Yes she's nice but she's boring and bland to watch (especially in a show with loads of interesting characters) and there's misogynist undertones in how a female love interest is written just as a love interest because men often can't conceive women as anything else but something romantic to them. Like she's not a whole person, she's just a plot device for Carmy and that's pretty sad.

Also, we know nothing significant about her. She has no character arc, just a very small list of reasons why we should care about her. Doesn't help that all her dialogue is snarky flirty banter that tends to make people cringe.

Anyways no worries if you like her. That's up to you of course 👍 these are just my grievances and the most common ones I've seen.

#the bear fx #the bear #the bear claire #claire #claire bear #claire the bear #ask #anon

[binzlovenicetingz]

no but listen, Carmen didn’t even want to give Claire his number. Walk with me for sec because that wasn’t a normal Carmen slip up. Yeah he’s bad at number as shown in very first episode of season 2 - but even Claire wasn’t buying his excuse when she reached out to him and also why she asked a second time at the party.

whether they work out or not would totally depend on how Carmen works out his own issues that lead to Carmen confessing his true thoughts and feelings about his relationship with Claire but buddy just needs to focus on his business at not a relationship, with anyone, at least until The Bear is stable.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear claire #and this isn’t hate to Claire #I thought she was a sweet girl #but yeah know it wasn’t gonna work out oof

[strawberryscare]

can’t stop thinking abt the only time we see carmy wear a The Beef tshirt is when he cooks dinner for claire. you know, the piece of clothing he refused for all of season 1 (when their restaurant was Actually called that) and asked everyone else to switch OUT of (to white shirts and blue aprons).

something something claire fundamentally does not allow carmy to grow as a person + represents carmy’s backsliding into his past something

#oh the mis-en-scene of it all <3 #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #anti claire bear #sydcarmy #not necessarily a sydcarmy post but when u think abt him associating their new fits (blue aprons and white shirts) with sydney #as in the scene with tina and him saying ‘you look like syd’ #Many Thoughts To Consider… #the bear meta

[irlplasticlamb]

the bear.

#vic.txt #my art #i’m so very stressed recently so drawing mr anxiety himself! #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmy x sydney #carmy x claire #the bear art #art #fanart #illustration #artists on tumblr #digital art #character art

[veryberryjelly]

hold on

carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary : reader reveals to carmen that she has a hard relationship with food.

a/n ; content warnings for disordered eating, throwing up, talks of disordered eating. i am not romanticising eating disorders !! loooong boy. 1.2k words

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

you never thought this would have been an issue.

you had never been in a relationship long enough for it to be important.

but 3 months.

you had to tell him.

but you had no idea where to start with admitting it.

somehow in the three months of dating carmen you had managed to avoid any conversation relating to your issues.

you had been out to dinner a few times, but every time you managed to find something easy or small.

and if you weren't able to do that, you had gotten good at making a plate look like you had eaten some if not most of it.

the issue only really came to a head when you had arranged to stay over at carmen's place after he cooked for the both of you.

you had been stressing over it for the last two days about something so simple as him cooking for you.

along with his insistence to keep it a secret what he was making, you were getting anxious about it.

your anxiety riddled mind was quietened when carmen opened the door to his apartment and your eyes met his.

the soft, relaxed smile on his lips mirrored onto your own.

" hey sweetheart, come in. dinner shouldn't be too long, just finishing up "

the mention of food brought almost all of your anxiety back.

you shut the door behind you as you walked in, setting your bag down on his couch as you headed towards the kitchen.

" gonna tell me what you're making yet ?" you questioned, keeping your voice level as you leant against the counter.

you could spot a few elements of the meal carmen was making, but none that would tell you what he was making.

you were almost relieved to spot a salad on the counter.

you might be able to get through this meal without feeling the urge to throw up.

" spaghetti bolognese "

two words that had your stomach falling.

carbs were very hard for you, but you couldn't not eat what carmen had cooked for you.

you took a slightly shuddering breath which was thankfully hidden from carmen as he tended to his sauce.

" sounds delicious "

thankfully, both of you talked through most of dinner, and it wasn't out of place for your fork to just rearrange your food instead of pick it up and eat it.

the few bites that you did take were mostly salad, apart from two initial bites of the pasta when you first sat down, which was hard to swallow.

after dinner you offered to do the dishes, practically insisting. you didn't want carmen to see how little of his food you had eaten.

he wouldn't let you do it all on your own and offered to at least dry up after you.

he didn't see the amount of food from your plate that ended up in the trash.

you definitely felt guilty about throwing it away, but you couldn't physically stomach the food or telling him after he made so much effort.

after you finished cleaning up the two of you were quick to retire to the couch for a movie.

carmen's arm wrapped around your shoulders and the steady beating of his heart underneath your ear wasn't enough to erase the burning feeling in your stomach or the gags you could feel climbing up your throat.

it got to the point where you couldn't take it anymore.

you muttered a quick excuse before rushing towards the bathroom.

you should've known that carmen would be hot on your heels the moment he heard you emptying your guts into the toilet.

you heard his voice behind you muttering a short string of curses when he opened the door.

the next thing you knew, his hands were swiftly collecting your hair from the base of your neck to keep it from getting messy.

after you had nothing more to give, you flushed the toilet and leant back to move away from it, only to be met with the solid feeling of carmen's chest against your back.

" 'm sorry. didn't mean to ruin your night " you muttered quietly, your eyes not lifting from your lap.

" baby, you didn't ruin anything. just want you to tell me why you're throwin' up after you barely ate anything "

a shiver of dread raced down your spine.

" thought maybe you just didn't like the food but now i'm thinking that something's wrong "

his voice was warm and comforting even if what he was saying was chilling you to your bones.

you had to tell him.

you began twisting the towel that carmy had handed you in your hands.

" what's going on, baby ?" he questioned, his hand lifting to brush some hair behind your ear as he dropped his head down onto your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss onto the fabric of your sweater.

you were silent for a few minutes, but carmen never pushed you to speak, only waited until you were ready.

" there's something wrong with me carmen... i- i hate feeling full. i can't eat like a normal person. i don't- " a sob wracked through your chest as you spoke.

carmen's arms wrapped tighter around you as tears began falling down your cheeks.

he held you there until the tears stopped, and even a little bit longer.

when he finally stood from the floor and walked out of the bathroom you thought he was done.

that he didn't want to deal with a girlfriend with these kids of issues, especially as a chef.

but when he returned a few moments later with your pyjamas and your toothbrush all of those feelings disappeared.

he delivered them to you with a kiss to your temple before he was back out again.

you didn't question him, or say anything, just brushed your teeth and washed your face before changing into your pyjamas, a pair of long pants and a t-shirt that carmen had given to you with 'the beef' logo on your chest.

after folding up your other clothes you padded out into his living room, keeping your head down as you put your clothes in your bag.

but you couldn't avoid it any longer.

you found carmen in the kitchen pouring hot water into two mugs from his cabinet.

you were only sat down for a moment before he came over with both mugs in his hand and slid one towards you.

chamomile.

your hands wrapped around the warm receptacle.

there were a few moments of silence before you heard the voice you found so much comfort in.

" why didn't you tell me ? " he questioned, his voice the farthest thing from accusational.

" didn't want to scare you off. most people go running when they find out. wanted to hold on a little bit longer " your voice was nothing more than a whisper and your eyes were burning into the mug of tea in your hands.

carmen wasted no time in moving around the counter to stand beside you, his hand moving to tilt your chin up and bring your gaze towards him.

" i'm not goin' anywhere, baby. but you gotta let me help. "

his thumb began moving against your cheekbone, and that simple action was all you needed before you wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your face into his t-shirt. his arms held you close to his chest.

" could you give me a ride to my therapists tomorrow ? "

" anything, baby "

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