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hadesisonlyalad · 3 months

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yk i dont post a lot on tumblr but we all saw that red flags post so im gonna take a moment of ur time to say something on each merc and the red flags listed for them. im doing a read more incase u havent seen the “mercs red flags” headcanon post and it does not flood ur page

both the medic and engie things with “not wanting to spend time with you/wont make time for you” is SUCH bullshit if that was the case they wouldnt even date you. and then ur telling me engie tf2, DELL CONAGHER, would NEVER want to take you on a date? like ever??? u are INSANE. And then sorry to tackle medic and engie in the same paragraph but they had a lot of common “””””red flags””””” that were listed. why would he yell at you. he hardly even yells in general (based off comics and voice lines) if anything hes just kinda a loud person 💀 AND YOU BRINGING UP ONE THING WONT MAKE HIM SUDDENLY IGNORE YOU FOR DAYS LIKE?? he KNOWS hes committing medical malpractice btw. he would not leave you for bringing that up he is WELL AWARE of what hes doing. and we see him CANONICALLY DISCIPLINE ARCHIMEDES IN MEET THE MEDIC, WHY WOULD HE TOLERATE HIS BIRDS ATTACKING YOU????

also why are we listing an addiction as a “red flag” what the fuck is wrong with you. i get not wanting to date someone with an addiction, its a valid concern, but thats SO much more serious than a “red flag” or “ick”??? LIKE ARE YOU OKAYYYY???????

AND THEN HEAVY’S RED FLAG IS “he has trauma” FUCKING. PACK IT UP GUYS IG IF YOU HAVE TRAUMA YOU CAN NEVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. (/s) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

i’m fine with the miss pauling ones, at least two of them, because yeah, it’s canon that she doesn’t have the most time and i imagine if ur not a merc or work in that area a relationship might be a bit hard? but shes an honest person, i don’t think she’s gonna lie to you. idk im very neutral about the pauling ones, if anything theyre the most in character of this shithole list.

all i have to say for pyro is like. yk those people who hc pyro as aroace except theyre super weird about it? like theyre either infantilizing them or have weird ableist feelings about pyro? yeah thats the vibes im getting. actually wait where did u pull codependent pyro from actually wtf

i think the “tryna live like hes 20” thing for spy is really fucking funny 💀 like go girl go live through that middle age crisis!!/j no but seriously. hes dating you hes gonna think you’re a 10, and even then YOU’RE SAYING IF YOU AGE AT ALL HE’LL LEAVE YOU??? CANON MILF LOVER SPY. “OFF TO VISIT YOUR MOTHER!” SPY TF2. WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU GET OLD AND AGE AT ALL…? HE LIKES HIS WOMEN LIKE HE LIKES HIS WINE MOTHERFUCKER: AGED. sorry bad joke lets keep going uh- i think the other hcs are garbage too i just really hate specifically this spy hc. just this one specifically.

im not a sniper connoisseur, my friend will is way better versed in sniper’s characterization, but even i know this isnt sniper. “thinks if he argues long enough he’ll win”…? “cannot support you in anything”?!!?! “IF YOU’RE HIS FRIEND AND YOU TWO GET INTO A BAD ARGUMENT PREPARE TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN” IM GENUINELY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. I JUST. I DONT..? WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. I DONT K N O W WHAT TO SAY. BUT IF I DID KNOW WHAT TO SAY I’D BE SAYING VERY BAD THINGS.

i dont think scout is misogynistic- i see why people think that but me personally i just think he has no game and people mistake it as violent misogyny for some reason. but. listen we know scout is a dick we do okay but he loves women. why would he cheat on you.? bro he’d be glad u picked him 😭 AND THEN THE PERIOD THING?? he was raised by a SINGLE MOM do you REALLY think shes gonna raise him and let him think that way about a natural body function. im speaking entirely from the single mom experience and the answer is NO!!!! also how is loving your mother a red flag. being the youngest child is also a red flag, i guess. and having issues with his dad. (/s) also, second verse same as the first: IF HES DATING YOU HE THINKS YOU’RE A 10 WHAT IS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET ABOUT THISHXWHBVWBWBXvqvsbs?1?2!2’wndjwke

uhhh soldier wasnt. here for some reason. so nothing to say about him.

anyway leave ur opinions below. i rly dont wanna get into any tumblr drama or internet drama at all bc it scares me dearly and im always self conscious about leaving a bad digital footprint especially over something as petty as tf2 drama but i cannot stand for this slander I CANNOT‼️‼️‼️‼️ sorry if u also think im mischaracterizing anyone here i only put hours of studying into my fav mercs and thats. abt it,, listen im silly okay

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #heavy tf2 #engineer tf2 #scout tf2 #spy tf2 #soldier tf2 #pyro tf2 #demo tf2 #tf2 demoman #ms pauling #sniper tf2 #medic tf2 #guys im going insane #i hate this fucking red flags post im so sorry i had to let it be known #reblog or comment ur opinions ig im also curious

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jar-of-maise · 8 months

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what's up my dears or dearly detested, it's hc time

we're going to focus on love languages with my fav sibling trio today bc i said so

LYNEY:

words of affirmation, physical touch

he has to be a words of affirmation guy fs

but tbh i feel like he'd also try to shy away from it? esp if he's serious (is that possible? well we'll never know) since he has lied...before...and we all know how well detail omission went

so probably acts of service, making you smile, uhhhhhh yeahhhh

probably fond of pet names

will be touchy

i can see him doing pda, not excessively but hes not against it

probably likes hugs? but like the more i think about it the more im not sure about him with physical touch (see Lynette's for more detail) but i think he'd be a cuddle bug

why's this the shortest

oh lyney my poor sweet dear

he gets tired of life, so you're a welcome escape

would lie on your lap

will hold hands with you

would dream of a happy future with you

dude roasts his little brother about still liking fairy tales and pulls this bs smh

honestly as insecure as freminet - just shows it differently

i think all three siblings are traumatised (who could've guessed?)

i feel like he'd pull some very obnoxious french jokes

he likes making you laugh, smile, happy

he's not sunshine he's a solar eclipse

and you my dear, are the stars that surround his entirety

like a planet orbiting him ceaselessly

i dont actually know what that means but apparently it's an actual thing

oh the inherent romanticism of celestial imagery

yeah that's also my tag what about it

i think, though, that lyney can use his charms to very aptly flirt with you

why?

exhibit A: the rainbow rose (real simps know what i'm talking about)

gets lynette to vibe check you, and then her cats, and then freminet (pers honorary judge)

performs exclusive magic shows for you

uh you can let immagination decide what kind of exclusive and magic you want in those

LYNETTE

acts of service, quality time

acts of service girlie fs

she's creepily observant in a good way but like, she also probably accidentally nearly oversteps some boundaries

"Hello Lynette!"

"Hi here's some things for you"

and she hands you a crap ton of stuff that you probably didn't even know you wanted yet

girl just wants the best for you

oh yeah if you're a physical touch person, you might not be overly pleased bc i headcanon her as physically repulsed by romantic gestures and gooey affection (fanfic writers, that's fuel for how she'd react to lyney being in a relationship)

and the reason i hc this is bc of her past, like you can't convince me lynette wasn't traumatised by that noble person

but while she isn't expressive with touch or words, she is a very good listener!

gl if you're allergic to cats too bc she'd def introduce you to them

(if you pass their vibe check you're all good, if not...uh...)

family is very important too so if you pass their vibe check well put that on a resume bc you are impressive

yes she's a gift giver

but i also think that she'd give you some...strange gifts

like you know those cats that bring like dead fish and mice back to their owners? yeah she'd probably do the same honestly...

hopefully not with mice corpses and whatnot

dont worry, she can magic them out of existence if you wish

just like she can to anyone who wrongs you-

shes the best though honestly, very supportive

bonus points if you join in and riff off her robot lingo though that'd honestly be green flag, marriage behaviour (maybe not that last bit but yk)

you probably encourage lyney to deep dive into his antics, much to lynette's fustration

she now babysits not one, two but three toddlers full time

but you probably also bring freminet out of his shell

she loves you for that so you're forgiven

the type to relentlessly tickle you

doesnt take anything serious but takes pillow fights seriously when it counts

she loves dessert and tea a bit more than you

sorry

but she's happy to share <3

FREMINET

quality time, gift giving

oh my god words cannot describe how excited i am for this particular hc

so yeah, he has a voiceline about making penguins for kids

PEOPLE HED MAKE YOU LITTLE PENGUINS

totally gonna make your penguin twin with Pers tho

god thats so cute whys the standard so high

also he's another not-expressive-with-words person so uh, yeah expect muchas time spent together (or not...bc he's always deep sea diving) either way! it's always quality

he is (very obviously) insecure so give him plently of love and affection (or ELSE-)

im still crying over matching penguins, is that juts me

he'd fix your broken machines for you as a love language

bonus points if you like, can, or want to learn how diving tho it's probably a double edged sword right, bc like, on one hand yall can hang out underwater and who needs aquarium dates when you can BE in the sea

but on the other hand, you now have access to his vulnerable and safe space

yeah you better treat him right or else

he'd probably get carried away with his mechanical stuff and make you a crap ton of toys

maybe not the cuddly kind either so js be prepared for that

god hes such a bean tho

an anxiety bean

btw, he very much believes in fairy tales and what not, so do us all a favour and believe in the magic with him

OR ELSE

ik i say that a lot

i feel like-

i dont actually know i forgot, someone messaged me and i lost my train of thought

ANYWAYS

just freminet being the softest, cutest boy

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0zzysaurus · 3 years

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Hope’s Peak Academy LGBT Club

#ishimondo #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo owada #chihiro fujisaki #kuwata leon #danganronpa #thh #fanart #the flags are all just headcanons by the way dont take them too seriously #not chishimondo but i have no issues with people tagging as such #not shipping leon with anyone here either but again totally up to you what you choose to tag this as #god i love them all so much

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themiracleisstillwaiting · 5 years

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now if its possible, shinji for the ask thing?

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM: He wears a beanie on his official outfit and for around 4 years of my life, I also always wore a beanie on my head at all times cuz I couldnt control my hair. So ya know, relatable.

Seriously, though: He’s probably the best Persona 3 character, who carries a whole lot of the theme on his personal arc, like the fact you’re gonna die and how you live your life, matters. Also ,the way he is a victim of circumstances, but doesnt ever complain about that, and just accepted his terrible destiny… in a way, there’s a lot of dignity on how he carries himself, you know?

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM: If you want to. Like, if you really want to, or just doesnt think much about it, you could easily define his character by “tsundere” traits. I obviously hate this characterization and want nothing to do with it, but judging by how some people characterize him and Aki, you would not be guilty of thinking like that. Weirdly enough, in PQ thats pretty much his thing.

FAVORITE LINE: He has some of the best and most significant ones. “Live” for Ken, but “ “Adios, asshole.”and “Still alive? … Good” when he comes to help.

BROTP: Shinjiro and Hamuko is Good Stuff, good quality content. Shinjiro and Fuuka is also flawless. Shinjiro and Junpei learning how to deal with each other has a lot of potential. Shinjiro and Yukari/Mitsuru growing to care about each other, same.

But Mitsuru and Shinjiro is, ultimately, the real thing. Shoulda’ve been canon brotp if you ask me.

OTP: Shinijro/Akihiko was the Air I breathed for around 3 years of my life.

notp: Shinji/Hamu mostly because… of the fandom’s characterization of it, rather than for the actual ship.. Shinji/Fuuka cuz is mostly a bro thing to me.

random headcanon: His dad left him and thats why he end up on the orphanage. This left him with a lot of issues around his self-worth. He used to pick fights against other kids and didnt want to make friends with anyone cuz he was convinced his dad would come back to pick him up.

He took in a bunch of part time jobs while living on the street, so he knows a buch of restaurants around town, and other places that could accept him to at least wipe the floor.

unpopular opinion: I have come across with two characterizations of Shinjiro that usually go like “UwU Shinjiro secret baby, likes cooking and fluffy things” and “Shinjiro is an asshole who cant put two sentences together without cursing” and I’m pretty sure both of those are an exaggeration.The real guy lies in the middle. I especially dont agree with the first one, though.

According to his dialogue during battles, he’s pretty much on his natural, by fighting out Shadows, cursing them out and is generally rude, too. Dude, he fights shadows with an Axe, with traffic signs! Some of his first lines on his social link are laughing of a wound he has on his mouth that he forgot he had, and it was due to Aki punching him, which he takes lightly. He hangs out on that suspicious corner of the town on which all the other delinquents seem afraid of him.He literally fights them all without difficulty, on the movie.You dont get to be a person like that, without being comfortable with the idea of wrecking the next idiot that crosses your way or talks about crossing your way, and to become that, you need a lifetime of fighting others, and being good at it. You also need to be smart and knowing your way around town, like bars, clubs and underground meeting places. It struck to me how Shinjiro refers to the owner of the Club Escapade as his friend. That implies knowing the towns underground and nasty places and not only knowing of it, but knowing about it intimately. Thats pretty much where he lives.

That being said, none of this cancels out the fact Shinjiro likes cooking, seems to be an nurturer of others by nature, and gets along well with animals. It kinda goes with it, actually. He seems to be a mysanthrope so he likes animals best, has no wish to grow closer to others cuz he already accepted his death, so of course he’s not out there cooking for everybody he meets, and being affectionate and cordial. Its not as much about him being shy, despite the fact he`s awkward, its about him having no wish to get out of his way to connectwith others, since his one everlasting connection is alreay giving him such a pain in the ass, anyway. I’m not saying that Shinjiro enjoys being a tough looking guy with a bad reputation, but its not just some kind of appearance he’s trying to keep up as if it was a farce, it does seems part of his personality.

People who try to cancel out Shinjiro’s tough-semi-aggressive tendencies and behavior because of his more soft side, rub me out the wrong way cuz like… you do know people can be well rounded on their interests and facets, right? You do know tough guys are capable of tenderness, in fact, most people are, right? Like,one thing doesnt cancel the other and we dont really know who Shinjiro would be if he wasnt on his “guess I’ll die” state of mind, anyway so, a characterization that tries to make him soft and uwu and tsundere rubs me the wrong way, since you’re deliberately trying not to think on a heavy part of his characterization so you can have a softer shinji, which makes him kind of an archetype of a character, easy to describe on two sentences, just like Mitsuru, Aigis and Akihiko. Both, the fandom and also PQII seem to sin on this.I also believe that on the Persona 3 original game, he wasnt supposed to be interpreted as your typical good looking guy, - taking a look at his first sketches; because of that, I try not to think of Shinjiro as your generally attractive dude. Of course, Shinjiro has a way cleaner design on P3DMN, which I dont mind, so its not something I would fight for, or anything.

song i associate with them: Los campesinos Avocado Baby:“I had a friend who / had made a flag day /blood on their hands from / shards of a heartbreak I have known friends who crack from love’s weight blossom in ribcage, until their backs break Oh it won’t get better, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna get any worse. You’re final draft'a life-long love letter, signed to the man who will be driving your hearse.” favorite picture of them: I dont even know, but a good 90% of the Shinjiaki pictures I’ve seen probably made my heart beat faster, when I was really into them as my p3 ship.Can I toot my own horn and say this one? Its mine, from here.

#shinjiro aragaki #persona 3 talk #akishinji #shinjiaki #aragaki shinijro #long post #text post #long text post

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shattered-catalyst · 5 years

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So this isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it.

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it.

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period. It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients. During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*. She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything.

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry, and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life.

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning.

I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are.

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

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tiracallout · 7 years

Text

(submitter wants to remain anonymous)

Hey, i was never super close with tira but i was mutuals for a while and had a good amount of interaction with them, because my friends were pretty close to them. Thought i would share some of the creepy experiences i remember having while following (all of them being while i was a minor, 15 when i started following). This doesn’t have to be anonymous idc if they see it

First of all, I was never much of a fan of them. People who are overly possessive of kins, as well as people who are too passionate about mental illness headcanons (theyre insulting imo, people can have them but tira liked to shove it down your throat like it was fact) are always people that send up red flags for me. So i never got too invested in them, i mostly just got angry for the sake of other people (my fellow mostly-minor friends), and was play-nice. One of my friends even had to just leave their main account because they were that afraid of tira, couldn’t even confront them.

But on to some examples of things they did. I’ll save the best one for last so hold on tight. One time they were dmming me to stay away from specific people because they were abusive (probably the people posting on this blog lmao..kept saying ppl were stalking them and shit). Based on how the messages went, i think they made a post saying “dm me for my personal ill be on there from now on.” Something like that. But then they went on and on to tell me dont talk to these people, which is fucking manipulative, but i didn’t really care cause i dont go out of my way to talk to people anyway. Would probably never end up talking to them, so i just played along. I have screenshots of this, it was a pretty mild interaction tho ill post if anyone really wants them for followup. It was one of those things that just sent some creepy vibes, nothing wild.

I liked some character from a show once (THE CHARACTER IN THE ICON FOR THIS BLOG LMAO) and i would post screenshots while watching it and stuff and i got the SHIT subtweeted out of me let me tell u. I find that kind of stuff amusing though, so i didn’t stop until i eventually dropped the show because liking the same thing as people i don’t like makes me feel like i have cooties. And i was just told that one of my friends retweeted art of that same character and got yelled at by tira. Don’t know why they didn’t confront me for doing that. But they are so out of line ACTUALLY harassing people for liking a character. You always had to be on your toes around tira it was gross.

THIS ONE IS THE REASON THAT DROVE ME TO FINALLY SEPARATE MYSELF FROM TIRA, along with my entire friendgroup. At this time they were over 20 years old. One of my close friends (who was 14 AT THE TIME keep that in fucking mind) was harassed by tira via text. They were put in a position where they were forced to convince tira not to kill themselves. A kid should not have to deal with that from some adult that they barely know over the internet. Taking a 14 year olds cellphone number and texting them is a disgusting act itself when you’re over 20 fucking years old. But threatening to kill yourself on top of that. I’ll never be over that. That friend of mine doesn’t even come online anymore, partly due to this. Its so sad. I and other friends of mine called tira out for this and they completely ignored what we were saying, and skipped right to “IM BEING ABUSEDDDDDDD UR ALL ABUSIVE.” So, i called tira a disgusting human being (like they are), and unfollowed/blocked like all of my friends. It was seriously horrible. I advise minors to stay the fuck away from tira (along with everyone, but especially minors.)

I also mentioned that i wanted to share the best one for last. The one above was by far the worst thing that tira ever did that affected me personally. This one is just funny. Tira once posted a nude picture of themself (im not sure if it was on their main or their private account, either way i was a minor and i followed both) and for a caption they were talking about how they posted this nude picture to “punish” themself. I might’ve been a minor but it didn’t make me angry or anything, I thought it was fucking hilarious and to this day i still laugh about it. I can still see it in my head it was so ridiculous. BUT i know there were other minors also following whatever account that was, and it was probably so uncomfortable for them. And that fact pissed me off. Along with that, I’ve never really cared about nsfw content, but tira CONSTANTLY posted about sex. alllll the time. with no concern to who saw it. I know my close friends were extremely uncomfortable with this.

Thats all i’ve got. I’m not someone who likes to jump on the call out train, but when i was told this blog exists i figured i should share my experiences. I consider Tira an actual threat to people, especially kids.

#testimony

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