#the good news is that i'm working again!

[hauntedspider]

peeks in

#* shut up kaja. / ooc. #hi #i needed to just #not be on tumblr for a bit #the good news is that i'm working again! #bad news is that it's at the hotel i used to work at #but it's temporary! #but i'm good until whenever i find a job i actually vibe with #so expect me to be back now that i'm not on the verge of a panic attack every day

[pastawayallday]

Saw Rise of the tmnt, liked it a lot, April is now my daughter (100% true don't touch)

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #fanart #save rise of the tmnt #i know it's very unlikely Nickelodeon will ever pick it up again #especially with the new iteration franchise in the works (which is very good as well) #i'm just saying it would be really cool to have two tmnt versions airing at the same time just saying #also rottmnt barely had any time to do anything and despite that it has some banger characterization and gorgeus character designs #april o'neil

[inkly-heart]

Do you have a group discord server? If others want to chill and interact with you. Just wondering

That aside just hoping you’re doing okay Blastic. Still, if you’re not your gotta a lot people care about you.

I look forward to seeing how the rest of the game goofs.

—goofball anon

I don't and sadly I don't think I will make one. It would be fun to interact with people who enjoys my work and wants to chat with me but I just feel it would be too much work for me to handle a discord server. So at least for now I'm not planning to make one.

#and how I've been doing?? #there been ups and downs #maybe bit better?? At least compared to what it was when this month started #I felt so numb for some reason #I just wanted to lie in bed and do nothing because nothing was making me happy. Not even drawing or playing games #I do still get these kind of days but it hasn't been that bad and I have got some amount motivation back to draw again at least #wanting to play games though still have been very low #but I'm taking small steps #I'm also sorry for not having much good news and that I've been so quiet nowadays #I just been struggling a lot what to say and anxiety isn't making things any easier #but I want to thank everyone who are still here hanging around and enjoying my work #even though I have these struggles I'm happy that you guys still want to support me<33 Thank you<33 #not sure did I word these right but I tried my best #and I will also do my best not to give up and keep on going 🌱 #ask #anon

[elvenbeard]

I like him a normal amount.

#one day I'm gonna do a full 'new album promo' photoshoot with him with more than one pose from different angles #I just keep getting distracted 😩😩 cause I mean... look at him!! #I think once PL is out and mods are working again I'll finally tackle my NPC+ aspirations I have with him #see what else there will be in terms of new clothes that could be cool on him #and then yes... let the brainrot take over for good #cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #cyberpunk 2077 vp #cp2077 #cp2077 vp #videogamemen #my vp

[piritos03]

She's back!

#And so am i #Hi it feels good to be able to draw again #Even if I'm not satisfied with the result #I'm already working on a new catradora piece #However i still keep it simple #Don't wanna get artblock again #She ra #Shera #Spop #Adora #Spop adora #shera and the princesses of power #shera adora #Spotify

[jinhyun]

hellooo, my lovies!

as you may have noticed i haven't updated either of my ongoing series since september, and before the year ends i would like to clear things up and set things straight when it comes to them.

back in june i began this mandatory 6 months long apprenticeship in order for me to get my law degree, and tbh i got exploited the hell out of me, to the point that i would only think about work 24/7.

up until like the beginning of august i would still daydream and stuff and i came up with back to december way before that and i was so excited for it, but then i just got more and more work in the middle of august and from then on it never stopped. i was in a constant state of stress and anxiety, and i reached a point i had only once in my life before reached, in which i no longer daydreamed lol. i still don't really daydream anymore nor do i make up scenarios before going to bed like i always used to. i finished the apprenticeship in december 7th but there's still paperwork i'm turning in and my mind is pretty much numb at this point, idk how to explain it.

the thing is, although i've tried to take off from where i left the stories since i'm not working anymore, i can't bc i feel nothing. i no longer feel that spark or get excited about writing. sure, drabbles and those silly ot8 texts i've posted i'm okay with and genuinely enjoy writing, bc they're simple and don't require me to get as emotionally involved as a series does. but when it comes to watercolor and back to december i try and try and i just can't.

regarding watercolor, i haven't decided what to do with it yet but i think it's no news that i lost my excitement about it a good while ago. there's only one part left and then the epilogue, but if i'm being completely honest i'm considering just leaving it there and maybe write the epilogue right away.

as in for back to december, i'm putting it on hold indefinitely, mainly bc i don't know when i'm gonna be hit with the inspiration i used to have again and i don't want to keep you guys waiting. i've tried to finish the third part but it's been months and i only get frustrated when the words won't come to me like they used to, so it's not good for me either. just think of it as if it was discontinued but if i ever feel like writing for it again i will.

i know these are very shitty news but i can't keep pushing myself when i don't feel the joy i used to when it comes to writing stories. i hope it goes away soon though bc i do love writing and it's been my escape from reality my whole life, so this is hitting me really hard lol.

i may come back to btd in the future or i may come back with a whole new story i'm excited about, but for now i'm gonna stick to drabbles (or one shots if i feel like writing something longer idk) and fake texts.

i'm really sorry. i used to be really excited about both stories but life happened, and i thought you guys needed an explanation. i hope you understand<3

#i'm sad like i love btd hyunjin so much i jdñaksñsks don't wanna let him go but yeah :/ #watercolor jinnie had a good run so he's okay lol #anyway it's 3am i should go to sleep. tomorrow's a new day for me to try and detox from the shittiest work experience ever #goodnight and i'm sorry again<3

[saltpepperbeard]

Coach the NBA Finals, or perform in the Superbowl Halftime Show? I’d coach the NBA Finals because uh, I know more about basketball than performing at a halftime show. [x]

#Taika Waititi #Taika Tuesday #Edit #taika does a new interview where he looks straight into the camera #10 dead 500 injured #Also I'm SO delighted to see his beautiful face again #And as someone who has worked in sports #THIS ABSOLUTELY TOOK ME OUT HSJKSL #like...basketball speedround? basketball death match?? basketball hunger games??? #HONESTLY SIGN ME UP #Some games of certain sports would just...go on for SO FREAKING LONG LMAO #UNNECESSARILY LONG #I guess longer if you're not entirely into the particular sport but goodness #Basketball and football with all their timeouts and media timeouts #And then baseball can just DRAAAAAAG #At least basketball is relatively fast paced when it gets going but still #he has a Point PFFFF #POINTS WERE MADE

[mittthrawnuruodo]

:: Ezolhrin | The Dark Urge ::

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3edit #the dark urge #videogameedit #gamingedit #ezolhrin #videogames #bg3 #ok LISTEN i love him so much (i'm making gifs!?) #he's the worst of the worst #he's going for maximum amount of murder. i even have all companion deaths planned out #....and he's my favourite of all the tavs/durges i've made so far #he's the first with a clear character concept and an idea of what i want to do rp-wise #first playthrough was just me fucking around #second was me fucking around as durge #third is me fucking around with friends #fourth was me fucking around while trying to be good and save all the tieflings for the trophy #this time i have A Plan and it's like playing a new game again #(and because i have A Plan i spent 4+ hours playing the same fucking thing yesterday because The Plan was not working skfjskjf) #*gif

[m00ngbin]

TFS TUESDAY! BUT ACTUALLY TUESDAY THIS TIME!

#last chapter was a lot #IN A GOOD WAY #a lot in a good way #it kills me how if they would just TALK TO EACH OTHER this whole thing could have been completely avoided #but thats not how people work. especially not kids and also toichiro is gonna do everything in his stupid power to keep them from being #friends again #i know im cutting it close its almost wednesday #BUT THE KEY WORD IS ALMOST #ITS NOT WEDNESDAY YET #where i am its not #SO CLOSE but not quite #fun fact that alien stuffed animal is something i won from a claw machine second try and when i got it i kid you not i fell to my knees #because i was so shocked #i shouldnt have touched the floor though it was probably gross #i just noticed tome's hair in that picture is longer on one side than the other and its going to bug me forever #typing all of this is keeping me from reading it so i'm going to shut up for a minute and get to the new chapter

[oreegaanoo]

Character reference sheets and two frames from the animatic! :3

#work in progress #sketches #my art #a #qsmp chayanne #missasinfonia #qsmp #have drawn this kind of sketchy bits for like... maybe three scenes so far? like most of the frames for three scenes I mean #there's at least 20 scenes with their own moving bits and stuff so that'll be fun #but this is a nice start! and I really like the song and I like looking at my sillies so it's nice to draw too :) #started going crazy a bit after like two hours of drawing so I'm stopping for now and will continue next week again. Hopefully get another- #-- scene properly sketched out then #In other news I completed a small section (like less than a quarter of a page long) of my thesis and oh the feeling of accomplishment!! #it was a daunting part because I didn't know how to write it out but I did it!! Finally!! #and also had some trouble with translating my thoughts to english so I asked my mom for help and we brainstormed it :D #she's a great help with language stuff; both bc she's like generally good at english and also she's not dyslexic like me so that helps :D

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[mylittleredgirl]

they recently had us switch to a new organization and calendar system at work (including some new software but mostly “this is how you should organize your entire life and you will know peace and never miss a task again!!”). at least half of the system is just a digital version of what i was already doing, and other parts of it are better, so i have no idea why it took me out at the knees. i had been riding a long sweet wave of low anxiety and now i'm trapped in a byzantine maze of highly doable tasks and shaking like a shelter dog in a crate—the exact opposite of what the system is supposed to do.

and the craziest part is that somehow... i can't seem to go back to my old system anymore either?? it's only been a few weeks! i used that for five years!! it’s like i have forgotten how to do the most basic parts of my job or make decisions. my brain turned into a stack of marbles and now they’re all over the floor.

like damn, apparently those crayola markers and glitter stickers were a load-bearing structural element of my professional competence. how do i explain that to regular people.

#i would love for this new system to work for me! it looks fantastic!! #i'm told if we 'fight through our resistance' and 'commit to it completely' it'll Fix Us and we'll never be stressed again #they took away my highlighters and my higher brain functions expired on the spot #fyi a coworker asked 'hey what about neurodivergence' and they said 'actually everyone with adhd loves it and it fixed them :)' #so...???? to be fair idk if i have even have adhd. like a psych professional told me i do but in the funniest possible way #it was an aside as i was leaving an appointment. columbo-style medical diagnosis. #'btw this is also wrong with you. but the meds would fuck you up so don't worry about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' #thanks? okay. sounds good boss 👍

[mishapen-dear]

just watched the moment bbh read forever's letter to him from the brazil trip. the disgusted EAH sound he made is going to echo in my mind forever and always that was SUCH a SOUND. here he was all excited and soft because he got a letter from forever and then forever mentions the fucking kidnapping and bbh turns into a scorned french woman from ratatouille who has just one sound to express her ~snobbish~ disgust at a ktichen full of rats. but it wasn't a kitchen of rats he was mad at it was forever giving him a shit sandwich shit-side up

#the way he THREWW the book back into the mailbox #made the sound as he turned away #like the little richas head flick was given Audio #man was so so sad about forever not leaving him a message #not even a flower #and then so sweetly hopeful at the new book #and then #the sims --friendship image #fucking hysterical i'm obsessed with him and their entire deal #shit sandwich is when you give good news then bad news then good news again btw #to make the bad news easier to take #it works the same with bad ideas or unpleasant concepts #like 'hey don't hurt that one guy you kidnapped' #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #i love forever i need to get better at portuguese i want to write a fic for him So Badly #hes just a lil guy #who likes another lil guy #and both of them like to project their protective parental feelings onto a third lil guy #who was kidnapped and briefly brutally tortured before being beloved by one of them #tho tbh im still on the ron lemons luncheon train i just think that's so awesome

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING #IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN #HA #MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF #and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders #that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self #ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief #a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?' #tone “No!” of disbelief #and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it. #that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me #and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.” #was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf #anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally #now i see what the past several months but especially especially #the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January #were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong #...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not #a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side #and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like #i rationally say I trust them to have and do. #and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha #they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y #anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet #trauma evolution #shh katie #personal #my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic. #add to journal #abuse

[svtskneecaps]

can anyone confirm if there are multiple qsmp eng updates twitter account admins or if it's literally just one person held hostage until badboyhalo decides he's gonna turn off stream

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #it is 3:30 am where bbh is to my knowledge #he's still live. #please tell me the eng updates has people from the us time zones; british time zones; and australian/new zealand time zones #bc oh my god if not i feel so bad for these poor souls #i hope they just pop in a discord gc like 'ok guys i'm passing it to you [UK user] bad is still live' 'OH MY GOD AGAIN' #at this point i think the qsmp eng updates twitter admins deserve their own tag lmfao #shoutout to them even though i don't use twitter. SHEEEEEESH they're putting in Work. good job <3

[swordbards]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious #flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun #and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like #oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter! #i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :) #this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :) #this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him #he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time #only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team #ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible #bg3 #playing bg3 #astarion #act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked #sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days #really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe #but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences #so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship #so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others #she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other #but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying #sorry. i will be normal again eventually