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k-drabblings · 5 years

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letters to you (pt. 1)

KIM TAEHYUNG (V) X READER Type | Genre: slice of life au | fluff/angst Word Count: 2410 A/N: I’m trying to keep the timeline as accurate as possible. It’s obviously been many years since their debut/predebut, and I’m not like a bts superfan or anything, so please ignore any discrepancies :)

-- 01/2013

Teeth chattering, I groggily forced myself out of bed. My dearly beloved, yet increasingly annoying, mother was shouting out my name like it was the only word in her vocabulary. "Y/N-ah! Y/N-ah! Y/N-ah!" She urged me to hurry, and I did not understand what could possibly be so important that she wake me up at seven in the morning on a Saturday. The blankets around my body were weighing me down as I trudged down the creaky steps to see what the commotion was about.

At her first glimpse of me, my mom motioned for me to come along faster. "Auntie Kim's son is here," she explained briefly. "Did you really not have time to make yourself a little more presentable?" That second line was hushed, the chiding meant only for my ears.

"It's freezing," I retorted gruffly, voice still hinting at lack of sleep.

But I had to admit I was interested. Auntie Kim's son was the talk of the town -- well, she was the one doing most of the talking. She was always so excited about telling the neighbors about his latest accomplishment: how he had passed the auditions for some company I couldn't remember the name of (it wasn't SM or YG), and then how he was working with this famous choreographer (not like anyone really knows choreographers' names off the top of their head), and of course about his up and coming debut (which was supposed to be very soon yet the date was unknown because it was some huge secret or some nonsense).

So you have to understand the disappointment I felt when I saw this regular ol' boy standing in my living room. Yeah, he was a little taller than most of the guys I knew, but I had expected him to blow me away with his presence... or at least have some muscles.

"This is Taehyung," my mom introduced.

I bowed my head slightly before giving my own name.

"Hey."

His voice made my chest rumble. It was deep and strangely velvety. It would have been a lie if I said it didn't make me smile. I watched as he popped another pre-cut slice of an orange in his wide mouth. He had this unabashed way of looking straight into my eyes as he answered my mother's curious questions, and I found it hard to meet his gaze. His eyebrow was raised a little too high, giving him this real cocky look. Maybe the idea of stardom had already gotten to his head.

"Taehyung won't be here for very long..."

It was already so obvious that my mother was going to urge me to do something I did not want to do.

"And it's your winter break, so you should have some time. Why don't you show him around?"

"He's from here," I reminded. "He probably knows this place better than I do." I had only moved here about a year ago, whereas Taehyung had spent well over a decade here.

"Then I guess I can show you around," he unexpectedly butted in, shining a 100-watt smile to my easily swayed mother. She beamed right back in delight.

So after changing into some real clothes and promising to be back for lunch, we began our tour of town. "It's fucking freezing," I muttered, breath visible in the frosty air. It had snowed the night before, and all we could see in front of us was a blanket of white.

Taehyung chuckled. "I take it you're not a morning person." He tugged on the sleeve of my coat. "Let's go."

I didn't ask where he was taking me, more preoccupied with eluding the patches of ice that were scattered dangerously along the road.

He didn't take me far. ... Or anywhere impressive.

I stared at his house in disappointment. "You brought me here?"

"Like you said, it's fucking freezing." His lips curled into a huge, cheeky grin as his icy fingers fumbled with the keys to unlock the door. His fingers were long and so goddamn beautiful.

He let me inside first, surprisingly gentleman-like, and his eyebrow raised in curiosity as I plopped down onto the couch comfortably. "I'm here more often than you are now," I explained. This place was like my second home.

A small, throaty chuckle escaped his lips. "Makes sense."

I could almost feel the heat radiating off his shoulder as he laid back besides me and turned on the television to some random cartoon. From this angle and distance, I could see how tall his nose was, how perfect his skin was.

"Take a picture. It lasts longer."

A hot blush crept up my cheeks. I mumbled a lame apology.

"I'll even sign it. It might be worth a fortune in the future." He winked cockily.

I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Yeah, okay."

It was weird how I had sort of expected him to be there the next morning. And he didn't disappoint.

"The blankets again," he commented amusedly. He was sitting at the kitchen table, eating some fruit my mother had prepared for him.

"My heating pad broke. And it's fu--"

"--king freezing," we finished simultaneously.

"Language," my mother warned, reminding me of her presence.

I smiled sheepishly and was pleased to see he was doing the same. I took a seat across from him, making sure the layers were still tightly wrapped around my figure. I shuddered as I let one arm out into the cold air to grab the chopsticks.

He laughed. "You look like a fat turtle."

I glared as I silently stole a piece of pear from his plate.

"Don't worry. It's cute."

I could feel the blush threatening to flood my cheeks, so I quickly got up to grab a drink from the refrigerator. I could feel his eyes on me as I shakily poured the orange juice into my glass. I didn't know why I was feeling so nervous around him. I was practically a grown woman with 18 years of life experience, including dating some boys here and there. Well actually just two -- nothing serious, but it was enough so I wasn't so easily rattled by the flirting and the teasing.

... But Taehyung still somehow rattled me.

It was in the middle of the third day with Taehyung that I found out he'd be leaving Wednesday evening.

"Two more days," he mumbled, leaning back into the cold wooden back of the bench. "And back to the grind."

"Do you like it there?" I asked, staring out into the fields with him. "Or do you like it here?"

He smiled and chuckled, always in that throaty way that I had grown somewhat fond of. "Seoul has more things to do, I guess... Not that I have any time to do them..." He let out a deep breath, almost like a sigh. "It's definitely not as exciting as when I first got there. But I still like it."

Then his gaze sharply turned to me, and I almost choked, my heart jumping to my throat. "But it's nice here too. Just relaxing like this, like we're doing now. Wouldn't mind staying a bit longer, really." His eyes turned into pretty little crescents as he smiled. "It's nice right?"

I nodded to answer his question and let out a long exhale myself. "So when do you think you'll be back here again?"

"Why? Miss me already?"

I rolled my eyes and gave him a square punch to his arm. "You're right next to me, you egotistical weirdo."

His laugh brought out my own, and we sat there together in simple happiness for a little longer until the cold seeped through our bones.

I took him to see my high school later that evening, just as the sun was setting. He had only attended for a year before leaving Daegu and for some reason wanted to visit again.

"It's not locked," he said in surprise.

"We still study throughout the break," I explained. College was really the only way country kids like us escaped this tiny town. Unless you were Kim Taehyung, that is.

"But you're not studying."

I smiled sheepishly. I had fallen a few days behind thanks to him, but I didn't tell him in fear he would stop hanging out with me. After all, he was only going to be here for two more days. "I'm a genius," I joked. "I don't need to study."

He let out a sarcastic 'har har' before pulling me inside the building. His gloved hand was tightly holding mine, and I wished I could feel his palm directly against mine instead. Who cared if it was fucking freezing?

"You're going to get diabetes," I said to Taehyung as I watched him spoon five heapings of sugar into his coffee. "That's not even coffee with sugar. It's sugar mixed with a little bit of coffee."

"And when I do, you can help me prick my finger every morning to measure my blood sugar."

The thought of seeing him every morning for the rest of my life was oddly romantic.

I watched him swirl the little spoon in his mug, and I could hear the little granules of undissolved sugar skidding along the walls of the cup. "I swear, Taehyung. You've supersaturated it."

"Don't use biology terms with me."

"It's chemistry."

"Whatever, nerd." He casually dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a genius, remember?"

He couldn't hold back his grin, and he tried to hide it by bringing the mug to his lips. "Yeah, okay."

It was much warmer that day, and he drove me in his mom's car to a nearby lookout area a few miles away. The winter air was refreshing rather than biting, and we drove up the mountain with the windows rolled down. My hair was a mess by the time we got to the top, and after Taehyung was done making fun of me for it, he helped me sort out my strands. His pretty fingers laced through my hair and made me shiver.

"Cold?" He asked.

I shook my head. I couldn't tell him that he was the one who made chills run down my spine with such a simple gesture. I got more goosebumps as I felt his large hand on the small of my back, guiding me towards the edge of the cliff.

"It's no Seoul skyline, but it has it's charm." He plopped down lazily on the gravel and patted the spot besides him. "Sit."

The ground was cold, but I didn't care. I planted my butt down and took in the view. Our humble town looked somewhat barren, but in a beautiful way. Patches of snow covered the fields here and there, and the cars looked like bursts of colors. The prettiest part was the mountains that loomed behind, kind of hazy and navy. I took a picture with my phone, but it really didn't do it justice.

"Take a picture of us," Taehyung suggsted casually. He took the device from my hands, and I was all too aware of how our fingers momentarily brushed against each other. His long arm was extended, ready to snap a photo. "Get in closer," he scolded and pulled my far shoulder in with his free hand.

My cheeks were redder than they should have been, and now there was solid evidence of it.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Taehyung." My mom liked to be vocal about how she observant she was of my life. "Are you keeping up with your studies? I bet all your classmates are studying really hard."

"Well he's leaving tonight," I mumbled, trying not to let the depressing thought affect my mood too much. "I'll hit the library after he's gone."

So after getting lengthily scolded for skipping out on my studies, I had Taehyung meet me at my high school.

I was sitting in an empty classroom skimming my English textbook when I heard the door slide open. His lanky figure strode in confidently. "What's up, nerd? I thought you didn't study."

I gave him a mocking glare. "Can't wait 'til you're gone." I was lying through my teeth.

"Hah, yeah right. You're gonna miss me, right?"

I couldn't possibly answer yes when he had that cocky smirk plastered on his face. I simply rolled my eyes and let him take the seat besides mine.

He strummed his fingers against the desk boredly. "Come on; you can do that later. I'm leaving in a few hours."

He didn't have to remind me. The clock did that with every damn tick.

It didn't take much effort for him to convince me to ditch my books. All he really had to do was tug on my sleeve a few times and off I went, following him down the hallway and out the door. It was almost pathetic how the sound of his delighted laughter made it so easy for me to forget all my responsibilities. That fucking laughter and that beautiful fucking grin.

He was beaming at me now as he dragged me back to his place, where we had to sneak past his mother so she wouldn't tattle on me.

There was nothing much to do in his room besides opening up his laptop and stream a movie or listen to some music and talk. He grinned. "If it's an American movie, that's sort of like studying English, right?"

Couldn't beat that logic.

"Didn't know you were such a crybaby," he teased, as the end credits for Titanic began to roll.

"Shut up, Taehyung," I snapped through my sniffles.

"It's stupid. I don't get why he had to let go, honestly," he huffed. "There was plenty of room on that wooden board for both of them to get on. She was rescued like a few minutes later."

"You're ruining the romance."

He gave a playful shrug. "It's not really romantic. I'd be pretty fucking pissed if some chick -- who supposedly loved me -- just let me drown." He paused to turn and look directly at me. "You're not supposed to let go of someone you love that easily, you know."

My heart had never felt so weak in my life. I swallowed hard and managed a small nod.

It was only five days into knowing Taehyung, and he somehow managed to wreck me so easily.

I should have taken that as a warning.

#taehyung #kim taehyung #bts v #taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic

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bereft-of-frogs · 5 years

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A Theology of the MCU: Myth, Marvel, and Mímir’s Well

(I love coming up with pretentious essay titles ya’ll this is one of my true academia skills)

aka, solving the in-universe discrepancies between the Marvel Asgard and Myth Asgard that no one asked for but I’m going to do anyways

So I was finally inspired to work out what I thought about the in-universe Norse Mythology and how it related to the actual Asgardian characters we know and love by this post. I’ll get to what I agreed with and what I didn’t a little later, but this kind of meta has been long coming because I def use and abuse mythology and should figure out what I think about how mythology and the relations between myth Thor & Loki and ‘real’ Thor & Loki before I screw anything up too badly.

The easy explanation is that the contents of the mythology in the alternative universe depicted in the MCU is just different. Our only real engagement with the myth in the movies is when Selvig pulls out the children’s book at the library and the images clearly look like Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston, rather than other depictions of the mythological Thor and Loki.

[Sidenote: eddas for dummies ’s illustrations of the Norse gods are great: https://edda-for-dummies.tumblr.com/]

So we could just say that things are different, they match onto ‘reality’ a little better than the Norse mythology we’re familiar with in our version of the universe, and done.

Or we could make things more complicated.

Which, in my opinion, is infinitely more fun. And I apparently have a lot of time on my hands (lol I don’t, I’m just procrastinating), so I’m writing up my explanation of how the ‘real Asgard’ and ‘myth Asgard’ were connected in the Viking Age and how the real Asgardians could have inspired their mythological counterparts.

And the answer is syncretism!

One of the main problems the original post points out is that the dates don’t line up. Loki is commonly accepted to be born in 965 CE, as stated in Thor. So he was born after the myth development and worship, and at the start of the Christianization of Scandinavia. Thor is accepted to not be that much older, given their similar appearance as children and other general character/relationship traits. How is this possible?

My headcanon explanation is: the Thor and Loki of the myths are actually amalgamations of several different Asgardian heroes, or even other deities from the proto-Indo-European mythology, that are eventually condensed into the figures of Thor and Loki (and Frigga and Heimdall, etc etc). (Very common in real world mythological and religious development.)

But since it turned out that these figures were real in the MCU and there was indeed a physical place called Asgard where Odin reigned, with Valkyries and gods, a Valhalla, etc…So that’s where I got the ‘amalgamation of several Asgardian heroes’ thing. Perhaps two thousand years ago the barrier between Asgard/Midgard was thinner, or it was more acceptable to travel on Midgard. Asgardian heroes, infinitely stronger and magical and seemingly immortal, travel on Midgard and have adventures and are seen as gods. The stories told, the sagas, poems, etc are all depicting something much more concrete, and material, than distant deities. Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology has its flaws, but the introduction does contain one of my favorite quotes: “…myths of a people who did not entirely trust or even like their gods, although they respected and feared them.” which I feel like would be a good description of this relationship. They write down stories of stuff they did with their wandering friends, and over time they take on spiritual significance.

“But,” you say, “that doesn’t 100% make sense either. There are references to Thor and Loki earlier than 965CE, and there are some stories that you pick out and attribute to the ‘real’ Thor and Loki when you’re using and abusing mythology for fanfiction inspiration. How do you explain that, hmmm?”

This is where the original post was like a lightbulb going off. Mímir’s Well could give a humans a glimpse of the wider Realms and/or future. (Or at least I think it was supposed to be Mímir’s Well…I think the movie may have said something about the Norns, but I also have Thoughts about the Norns,* so I’d prefer to have it just be Mímir’s Well.) But I thought the ‘drunk Viking fell in a well’ was a little reductionist.

Absolutely no disrespect to OP intended! I love that post. It’s brilliant and the meta on the ages are so well thought out I have officially adopted that explanation for the age discrepancies. I just have a lot of Feelings about the development of religious systems and tend to be sensitive about attributing religious development to things like ‘drunk people making up stories’ because I think spirituality/religion of any kind is a profound reflection of man’s attempt to make sense of the universe, and so complex and varied and beautiful and I’ve struggled a lot against people who don’t understand, or purposely misrepresent, the fundamental societal purpose of religion and the quest for meaning…but anyways…

So yeah, due to my weird neuroses about religion and myth, I want to give the early poets more credit than ‘drunk Viking that fell in a well.’ Instead of accident or foolish ignorance, there could have been a mortal, or several mortals, who gained particular favor among visiting Asgardians and were gifted with knowledge of the future and of Asgard and built their myth upon that. Because of increased traffic between Asgard/Midgard, early Scandinavian societies were interacting more with Asgard than modern humans. So they were getting stories of Asgardian heroes, interacting with travelers, etc. They prove themselves to Asgardian travelers in various ways, then the Asgardians show them the wells. Perhaps mortal sorcerers were held in higher regard as well. Anyways, they also enter Mímir’s well at the invitation of whatever Odinic wanderer that may or may not be Actual Odin, and see the future, but distorted by their own limited perception and experience.

You have to keep in mind that linear time is essentially a social construct. (I’m only half joking with that.) Especially in Norse mythology, where time is simultaneously linear and cyclical. So, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter that the timeline doesn’t add up. When the mortals enter the well they see things that happen no matter where they happen in the timeline. So they see Ragnarök, which has both not yet happened and already happened. For another example, they could see the essence of Loki’s betrayal/fall from grace, and it gets combined with another figure, who, let’s say, went to a feast and insulted all those assembled.

This makes it super easy to steal from the myths at will, and kind of sort myths into ‘yes this story involved the ‘real’ Thor & Loki’ and ‘nope this involved someone else and was later attributed to Thor and/or Loki.’ So I sit there and say like “Ah, I like this one, someone saw this in the well” and “nope, I don’t see this one as fitting their characters, that one was from another Asgardian hero.”

Examples of the divide:

People seem to generally like ‘lips sewn shut’ storyline (‘The Treasures of the Gods’ in Crossley-Holland), the birth of Sleipnir (‘The Building of Asgard’s Wall’), and I’ve seen the Lay of Geirrod (‘Thor and Geirrod’) done fantastically well. I tend to lift themes/motifs pretty frequently (and that’s how I stole the essence of Helreith Brynnhildr, which was written down in the 13th century, but actually happened to the Valkyrie in the 21st) and there are other stories I’ve seen less frequently adapted, like ‘Thor’s Journey to Utgard’ that I think make sense, but I don’t really see either Thor or Loki as having wives or children, so I can file that as someone else.

[Two more headcanon-y headcanons: there was another figure that was more like the myth-Loki - blood brother of Odin who at some point betrayed them, and was the more malevolent figure, that was syncretized with Loki at some point. And Hela got so much more distorted because of whatever Odin did to erase her from memory. He was successful on Asgard, where he had more control/power, but he couldn’t catch everything on Midgard, which was already starting to grow more distant from Asgard, if the Hela thing occurred between Thor and Loki’s births like the timeline seems to imply.]

So yeah. This is a thing I did. I did a lot of thinking about this while washing dishes the last couple of days. I just really like exploring the relationship between mortals and the gods, which would also be important if Asgard was going to sail their way to Earth and rebuild in Norway, like Odin wanted them to in Thor: Ragnarok. (That was a great line too: “Remember this place. Home.” Ahhhhhh, we can have such interesting interactions between modern Scandinavians and Asgardians and it would have been great. Thanos ruins everything. But also, we probably never would have because I don’t anyone working at Marvel cares to think this much about myth…)

*My Thoughts about the Norns: I weirdly like the idea that the Norns are essentially the True Deity. Mostly because I’m super, super into triple goddesses. And the way (though I’m pretty sure I picked this up from other fanfiction), the characters invoke the Norns like ‘God’. (tbh it’s also a good cheat for fixing dialogue where I’ve snuck in a ‘oh my god’ or ‘godforsaken’ etc.) You’ll also notice though, that I only ever have the like ‘highborn’ Asgardian characters invoking the Norns. The ones who have their names directly taken from mythology (Thor, Loki, Heimdall, Frigga, Odin, etc, plus I think people who were actually living in Asgard, so most of the survivors on the Ark), invoke the Norns, but other ‘lowborn’ characters from the Nine Realms will say ‘gods’ instead. That worked itself into the second chapter of ‘Misuse of Magic’.

God, I’m such a nerd. I’m going to go put myself in nerd timeout. Bye…

[PS - I used the Kevin Crossley-Holland anthology, The Penguin Book of Norse Myths, above because well…I own it. And it’s in my apartment and not my parents’ basement. But I do recommend, accessible but with an extensive notes section.]

Did I do it right? This is the first time I’ve ever posted this sort of thing hope it’s okay ahhhh

back to timeout

#mcu meta #maybe meta? idk it's probably more headcanon #whoops #i'm a huge theology nerd i'm in a nerd timeout now

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goodguyjean · 7 years

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Some Thoughts Jean’s Character Development (Prompted by the HS AU).

CW: Bullying and the molestation scene.

So, in keeping with the rhetorical principle of kairos (timeliness of an argument), I think the time is ripe for a (re?)consideration of Jean Kirstein’s presentation in the Attack on Titan manga. I noticed that a bit of a discussion about Jean’s character popped up in the wake of the High School AU fake preview for volume 22 (one which I’ve already participated in a few times) and since we’ve just had a massive time-skip in the series to kick off the final arc, I feel like we can examine the development of the characters from the fall of Wall Maria to their journey to the ocean as discreet units. In fact, it may be useful to look at where some of them have ended up and how they got there before launching off into the new arc, so if you like what I have to say about Jean please send me suggestions for more character analysis like this!

The reasons I want to talk about Jean are twofold. The first is obviously personal interest. I’m discussing Jean regardless of whether or not anyone else really wants to read it because I find his portrayal and development intriguing xD. But my jumping off point is a little bit more specific, to come back to the question of kairos. The High School AU, however silly or tongue-in-cheek, has raised questions in fandom about whether or not Jean is a bully in canon or would be one in an AU that I would like to address.

Although I’m taking an AU’s depiction of Jean as the starting point of my inquiry, this post is pretty much only concerned with the canon material of the manga (not the anime: I have already discussed discrepancies between the manga and the anime’s portrayals of Jean here). Even though Isayama drew the High School AU and therefore it probably has value as meta, I feel strongly that the Jean depicted therein has little in common with Jean in the manga. I’ve been attempting to follow up on an interview which was mentioned to me, where Isayama supposedly said that in any other universe Jean would be one of Armin’s bullies (I’d appreciate any help in locating it! So far I’ve only been able to find other people mentioning it in their posts but no source). I find this kind of blanket statement on Isayama’s part a little bit more troubling—how did he come to understand his character this way? I guess it doesn’t matter to a certain extent, because authorial intent or understanding is by no means the end-all be-all of interpretation—and therefore I would like to further explore the question of Jean’s canonical presentation to attempt to answer the question: is Jean Kirstein ever, at any point, a bully?

My answer, as you may be able to guess from the fact that my blog is Jean themed, is a pretty hard no. In fact, within canon I would argue that Jean is one of the more empathetic and morally astute characters, and that the development he undergoes is less of a complete ethical realignment and more of an adjustment of his goals and strategies. He doesn’t begin cruel and transform into a kinder person; he starts off as astute but self-centered and his development revolves around using his skills to protect and champion others rather than just himself.

I would say Jean actually starts off as a bit of an outsider among the 104th (a facet of his personality that the original draft of the HS AU actually preserves) and that Eren generally has more clout than him; in fact, trainee Eren would probably not be a compelling target for a bully, all things considered. Jean’s fights with him don’t seem to come from a place of maintaining dominance over someone weaker and instead take the form of pretty mutual brawling. Indeed, he may be at a bit of a disadvantage when fighting against Eren physically, as demonstrated in this scene.

Chapter 3. Jean is “punching up” here, as it were. After a battle of words, Eren and Jean hit each other simultaneously and initiate a fight in which, according to Reiner, the odds may be slightly against Jean. Mikasa also implies Eren picked this fight after she intervenes. Also I just noticed that dude giving peace signs in the far left corner lol.

All in all, Jean is never depicted as picking on someone weaker than himself to establish dominance at pretty much any point in the series, as far as I can remember (in fact, he’s the only one to stand up to bullying in some situations, as will be discussed below). Isayama shows Jean hassling Marco, teasing Sasha, and picking fights with Eren (the first of whom has some pretty naive worldviews and the latter of whom give as good as they get and even start said fights). Jean’s so irritating to Eren--at least in the manga, I know they nerf him considerably in the anime--because he’s astute and quite often actually has a point. He’s not, unlike Armin’s bullies in the series, calling Eren a heretic for even thinking of going outside; rather, he seems concerned that Eren is going to drag other people outside to killed along with him (particularly Mikasa, initially). He can be rude and he has a short fuse but he’s not seeking people out to hurt them and enjoying it. He has a sore spot about Eren, but that’s really more of a fight between equals--they make each other mutually uncomfortable because Jean reminds Eren of the stakes involved in achieveing his goals and Eren provokes action from Jean.

In fact, I’d say Jean’s commitment to the truth aligns him a lot more with Armin than his bullies or even with the other members of the 104th. For instance, as this post points out, they both get themselves into trouble by speaking their minds as kids.

Armin in chapter 1 and Jean in chapter 16. I still can’t get over Jean calling Eren “eloquent”; regardless of Eren’s good intentions, I think Jean is very right in pointing out how Eren’s rhetoric doesn’t sound all that different from the story the higher ups told about the cull. But I also find it super interesting that there is no bad intent in Jean’s speech here; given the “truce” they call afterwards, I think he’s serious that he doesn’t mean to attack Eren. In the anime Jean doesn’t get this line about eloquence in and the scene is much more hostile.

Which brings me to my point about his development. The way I read it in the manga, Jean’s journey is not about transforming from a cruel person into a kinder one (since he is never depicted as cruel in the first place), but from a self-centered individual into a responsible one: specifically, a person tasked with championing the weak. Jean has always seen the problems with the government--he talks about the cull of twenty-percent of the population as a suicide mission, he pokes fun at the rhetoric of calling the people who are forced to settled in outskirt towns “heroes”--but instead of attempting to do anything about it his initial impulse is to play the system so that he survives as long as possible.

Chapter 17. They stand up to start fighting simultaneously immediately after this. Eren is sweating here, implying nervousness, and his eye is twitching; Jean’s pretty calm now, but in just a few panels his jealousy over Eren’s friends will get him into trouble.

In fact, Marco thinks Jean’s pragmatism and desire of self-preservation put him in a unique position to stand up for the weak--the opposite of picking on them.

Chapter 18. This memory comes to Jean when he’s trying to decide how best to protect his comrades from further death and devastation.

Marco’s point is that Jean has a unique combination of skills and personality traits which he can utilize to protect the weak, both from the titans and (eventually) other humans who are seeking to oppress them. Jean’s “weakness” leads him to value life, so he’s not going to take certain risks unless he has to--and he’ll be honest it about it with his soldiers, so they’ll know he has their interests at heart. He only makes sacrifices reluctantly, when he must in order to preserve a larger number of people (as seen in Trost). He’s also astute: he’s suspicious of empty rhetoric (like the government deals in--it’s so weird that Marco is the one implying some of this, given his fondness for the king; perhaps it’s just that the society views these attributes as weak, given how messed up it is) and he can take in any situation pretty quickly. He’s aware of the systems of oppression that govern the Walled World (culls and bait towns), and his development seems to center on widening the scope of how he resists those systems rather than his awakening to their existence: he needs to look out not just for himself, but others or else he is complicit in their suffering. So he joins the Survey Corps, not because he sees Eren’s vision of “freedom, no matter how high the costs” but because he wants to protect his friends.

Chapter 18. I don’t think bullies worry so much about others. There’s a sense of camaraderie that seems to include Jean expressed at other points in the manga--like, yeah he’s a bit rude sometimes, but he’s our rude guy and we like him that way. No one seems to have a serious problem with him.

This seems to be how others understand Jean’s change of heart as well. Everyone is weirded out by how “responsible” he is now, rather than how much kinder--implying they didn’t really see him as cruel in the first place. No one comments, for instance, on Jean personally supporting Connie or Armin after some of their difficulties, but they do notice when he speaks up for helping others more generally, particularly at great risk to himself.

Reiner in volume 6, when Jean suggests buying time for the platoon to retreat after the Female Titan devastated their forces.

Connie, Eren, and Armin commenting on how Jean’s changed in volume 13. I’m not quite sure about Armin’s comment here; was Jean ever really a “bad guy” or just a bit of an asshole sometimes in the course of disagreeing with Eren?

And I think Jean takes his newfound commitment to others seriously, which leads to some of his struggles during the Uprising arc as he tries to distinguish the most ethical course of action when the metric of “human versus titan” fails. He always attempts to voice his objections within the parameters allowed to him by the military, although not always in the most productive ways (think about that joke about stabbing incompetent commanders in the back . . .). In fact, he’s even willing to challenge the SC when he thinks they’re going too far in the name of the coup: part way through my initial read through of the series, I started looking to Jean for commentary on the morals of a coup that stems from within the military rather than from the will of populace.

Jean voices his objections to torture, volume 14. Surely someone with a cruel streak or the impulse to bully would be able to think of some justification for torture.

Everyone is upset over Levi’s treatment of Historia, but Jean’s the only person who actually says anything, volume 14.

Jean is the first and last person to raise objections about the coup’s methods in this scene, volume 14. He feels so strongly about it he considers defying orders.

And I don’t necessarily want to get too much into the molestation scene from chapters 52 and 53, but Jean seems to object to being asked to participate in the “bait” scheme, because it makes him somewhat complicit in what happens to Armin. While presumably other members of the 104th comforted Armin after his trauma, we only see Jean doing it. In fact, he’s the only one who speaks about it apart from Mikasa, who alludes to the molestation once on the rooftop while she and Levi are setting up the trap.

Jean struggles with the tenants of the mission, which is to act as bait until they can spring a trap for the big boss of the Reeves’ company, volume 13. The implication seems to be if he were not compelled to be “Eren” at this point he could do something about what is happening to Armin.

From volume 13. Unfortunately, it also seems like Connie and Sasha are laughing here. :(

Of course, even at this stage of his maturation there’s still room for Jean to grow. For example, Jean’s response to Armin’s second “gesumin” moment, wherein he suggests fooling the masses in order to get them on the survey corps side, is to blame Armin’s unethical proposal on his recent trauma.

Volume 14.

This is not Jean’s finest moment, but I read it as him (however problematically) trying to make sense of Armin’s suggestion; a suggestion which involves manipulation and lying, two things antithetical to Jean’s own values. This ableism doesn’t belong just to Jean, but is pervasive throughout the world of Attack on Titan (many people toss around insults related to intelligence and mental health), so I read this also as a bit of a knock to their society; they could all do better. This is not to excuse Jean here, but to just acknowledge the systematic nature of the problem.

Overall, however, Jean’s the only person who’s attempting to help Armin (that we see, obviously) and I think these scenes are where we get a fuller sense of his empathy; an empathy that also leads him to try to help Eren (again, in his own blunt and awkward way) after the events of the Reiss chapel. It’s the same empathy, I think, that Marco alludes to when he says Jean understands the weak and should endeavor to help them. We can read that empathy back into his concern for his fellow soldiers, who are constantly asked to risk their lives for causes that may not even have their best interests at heart. Whereas Armin’s analytic nature leads him to discover people’s secrets and predict their movements, Jean’s empathy grants him perspective on their feelings--he can see the human in pretty much anybody, which I view as his main strength.

Over the course of the coup, Jean becomes the main voice of dissent. Although Sasha and Connie often nod along with him, he’s usually the one who either speaks first or speaks at all, and Levi realizes that he’s going to have to convince Jean eventually if he’s going to maintain order in his ranks.

From volume 14. I think it’s so interesting that we’re looking first at Jean from behind and then at him through Levi’s eyes. It’s almost like we’re meant to be identifying primarily with Jean and Levi’s looking at us--Levi has to convince us he’s right, in addition to convincing Jean. He’s also centered here, suggesting his leader status among the other recruits.

Jean’s biggest development during the coup stems from struggling with the idea that there’s no way to be ethically pure. He joined the Survey Corps in order to help others after Trost made him fully aware of the stakes but sometimes that’s a murkier process than it initially seems. Jean decides after Armin kills someone for him (sacrificing his own innocence for Jean’s life), that the best he can do in his current situation is to protect his comrades. And he takes that mentality with him after the coup, as demonstrated in this scene where he lectures Marlowe.

Chapter 72. Jean’s trying to tell Marlowe not to get swept up in the rhetoric of self-sacrifice.

Yet I like that Jean doesn’t come out his experience completely cowed by Levi (who, admittedly, does not want Jean to be cowed or even want Jean to think he’s always right, based on their discussions), as we can see in this scene where he encourages Historia to keep her promise to Boss Reeves and punch Levi in revenge for his violence towards her.

Chapter 70. Eren thinks she should let it go but Jean cheers her on.

So, in summation, Isayama can reinterpret Jean as a bully if he wants to in his AUs for comedy, but I think that’s an oversimplified and even quite inaccurate reading if we want to take it seriously, even of pre-development Jean xD. Jean starts off as an observant but self-centered person who doesn’t intimidate the weak but doesn’t champion them either; he just wants to survive. But Marco’s death makes him realize the full extent of the care he feels for his comrades and he sets out to protect them and support them, even in defiance of his commanders. He questions the rhetorical maneuvering of the powerful and seeks to live honestly. None of that sounds like a bully and certainly none of that sounds like it would develop into a bully in a different world where there were no titans or no totalitarian government. And those are my two cents xD

#jean kirstein #snk meta #snk analysis #snk character analysis #hs au #maybe I overthink things sometimes but I just have to say them xD

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drink-n-watch · 5 years

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Castling is a special type of chess move. When castling, you simultaneously move your king and one of your rooks. The king moves two squares towards a rook, and that rook moves to the square on the other side of the king.

Have you guys been looking forward to our next Promised Neverland discussion? I know I have. Talking things over with Crow is always really fun and interesting. On top of that, this series is certainly generous with the potential material. I feel like we go through almost an entire series’ worth of topics with each episode. For once, that’s not a bad thing.

this was quite the episode!

If you remember, ad I’m sure you do, last episode ended on an epic cliffhanger with Norman pointing to Ray as the “traitor”. An of course, Norma’s always right. I feel like my brain still refused to accept it for a good minute. It’s like the show has already conditioned me to refuse the simplest explanation even if in retrospect the narrative hasn’t exactly done twists so much as simply shocks. Situations are often unexpected but not because we were lead to believe something else, simply because this particular fictional universe is very high drama.

That distinction — shocks versus twists — might be this show’s distinguishing characteristic! Well, that and dynamic and flawed protagonists as well as dangerously intelligent and dangerously unpredictable villains! Oh, this is Crow — I’m in bold this week.

That opening scene with the clock ticking and rapid succession jumps between the two characters was a fun, tension adding, directorial trick. Cheap but effective. In general, I feel the direction took a lot more risks this episode and I liked it. Did you?

Evaluating direction isn’t my strength, but to the extent I understand it, I think you’re right. It’s like the show’s gaining confidence in its voice. There were some relatively straight forward shots, like closeups of Norman and Ray as they realized something (I’m still not sure exactly what!). There was a shot of Ray, leaving the room after the first scene, framed by the doorway at the top of the stairs, as if the camera were on a landing between the first and second floors. It was simple, elegant, and it capture his loneliness that Emma was able to articulate later on.

it was a very deliberately paced and framed episode

The first half of the episode was basically one long expo dump with Norman and Ray having this almost quippy, slightly antagonistic chat in the room. I see your Buffy parallels here. Although the conversation was much more stern in tone, there was something in the quickfire delivery and unspoken implications that was very reminiscent of Buffy dialogue.

Now, if we can just get Anya to sing her song about bunnies being the villains… I think Gilda could pull it off! But now I’m sad thinking about Conny’s bunny, which makes me remember Conny…

Also, I was on the edge of my seat. I was watching two (only two) familiar characters talk to each other in a closed bedroom with nothing else at all going on, and I was on the edge of my seat. This is when you know you got your exposition right!

I think this proves your point about direction. I felt breathless during this scene, too, as if either Ray or Norman might do anything — explode into violence, transfer into an alien — anything! Good dialogue, well delivered, with effective pacing. That’s a heavy load for exposition to carry!

tell me more!

I have to say, Ray may be an informant, but can we really call him a traitor when he’s been doing this for 6 years? He’s gathering intel as best he can to formulate an escape plan. The boy’s no hero, but he’s merely trying to survive.

Also, if I remember correctly, they’re all 11. Which would mean that Ray found out the truth (that they were all destined to be butchered) and was trying to navigate this dangerous world all alone since he was 5 years old. Somehow, it’s difficult for me to blame a five year old in this situation.

I might have to quibble with “the boy’s no hero.” Fighting alone, well behind enemy lines, without a break, without assistance, from the time he was five? That’s why I adored Emma’s reaction…

The conversation leaves with vague results. Ray is still adamant about not destroying their chances by trying to do too much. Norman agrees in principle but is morally and mostly emotionally torn at the idea of going against Emma’s wishes. And an unsteady truce is formed.

What did you think of Ray’s grudging disgusted look and Norman’s attempt to hold back laughter? I didn’t know what to make of that…

it fascinated me

You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. If anything, this turn of events makes me more likely to trust Ray than before. Of course I have this super weird hang up about not trusting Norman. It may be the white hair.

Right at the end of this extended opening arc, it seems that both Norman and Ray realized something pretty big. It sort of bugs me that these little kids are so much smarter than I am but I’ve learned to accept it. I really wish they would have told us what Norman figured out though. It seemed big!

I’m listening to Neil Gaiman narrate The Ocean at the End of the Pond. (great book) I’ve come to accept that when it comes to a lot of topics, kids are smarter than me! Yeah, Norman’s laugh put me on edge, too. I’m beginning to suspect that we’re only watching the outer edge of the crazy — or maybe a meta representation of it…

Ray’s interaction with Mom was one of the best scenes so far. Mom is a formidable foe but because of the construct of the story and the necessity to keep up the pretense of unity, we have not seen her actually clash with anyone except Krone and let’s face it, at the time Krone was hardly even worthy of the title of opponent. Mom and a forcibly relaxed Ray made for a much more interesting back and forth. I look forward to seeing more mind games.

Watching that scene, I had to wonder: which one of them really has the upper hand? Ray mentioned that Mom only gave him older models of things. What if they weren’t representative at all? The show has me so paranoid that I wonder if Mom’s put the pieces in place so their escape attempt is actually part of their shipment protocol! Kinda like a Hunger Games sorta thing…

it makes me captivated!

We finally got to see that Norman is in fact human and that the situation is getting to him. That nightmare was just great. It was also a nice, visually interesting sequence that put the stakes into perspective for the audience. It was a bit on the nose (a lot of the directing is unsubtle in the series), but I don’t mind that too much when the storyline has a lot going on.

I just needed to throw in a pic

The episode then cleaned up the intel by bringing Emma into the loop. I’ve said this before but Emma is not exactly as straightforward as she plays it. Of course she immediately forgives Ray, of course she gives this compelling and heartstring tugging speech about him no longer being alone. But she let her mask slip for a split second there and we saw it.

She might be the most intelligent one there.

You saw it too, right Crow? That moment when Emma realized that Ray had probably at some point sacrificed members of her precious family, and willfully decided to brush the realization aside and ignore everything it implied. The second when her mind was telling her that if he’s capable of throwing the kids to the wolves once, he could do it again, and she chose to take the risk but pretended not to understand it.

I know you loved the scene between Ray and Mom, but this was my favorite scene in the episode. You could just see her mind connect the dots — and I think she connected more than she spoke of. She has this gestalt perspective that lets her assemble the big picture with only tiny disjointed parts.

I think you hit the nail on the head — she knows who Ray is. She knows how he thinks. She’ll go along for now, but she’s on guard. What more? She’s confident she can make it work.

what’s with that face?

Finally we looped Don and Gilda back into the action. As the other two oldest kids in the place, they have the greatest odds of survival, but I’m not so sure the have the nerves required. This might be where Norman’s (somewhat kind) lie may really cost them dearly.

By not telling Don and Gilda that Conny is already dead but still conveying the great danger everyone is in, they have effectively put a ticking clock on everything and are encouraging Don and Gilda into action.

Talk about being damned if you do and damned if you don’t…

I’ve heard some fas say this exact ting (not many though)

Basically, Gilda and Emma have been observing Mom (enemy recon) and have realized that she disappears somewhere at the same time every evening. Ray comes to the natural assumption that she must be checking in with however she reports to.

Moreover, a discrepancy in the dimensions of the rooms and hallway has lead Emma to conclude the whereabouts of a secret room next to Mom’s bedroom. Naturally, this seems like a place that should be investigated but the kids want to play it slow. Not take any more unnecessary risks at this time.

Not all the kids that is. Determined to save Conny, Don storms off to immediately find this secret room while Mom is away. After some prodding, he and Gilda do manage to discover a decoy bookcase with a locked door behind it.

Their hearts were in the right place. Their minds, though? Let’s just say as bright as both of them are, they don’t hold a candle to Emma, Norman, or Ray. I just hope they don’t have to pay the ultimate price for their mistake!

this isn’t ominous at all…

As usual with this series, I had not realized that this was the end of the episode. Well not this of course. Before that someone had to be slowly opening the door to Mom’s room in time to catch them both red handed and potentially doomed. And you thought last week (or every single week so far) was a cliffhanger!

That’s how I guessed it was over despite it seeming like 10 minutes. I was like, “Dang, that’d make a good cliffhanger… d’oh!”

Also, no Krone at all this week?

She’s still sulking, and it takes time to stitch her doll back together! Interesting point, too, how Ray says mom brought Krone in to watch over him for failing to keep Emma and Norman away from the gate…

So this is it for this week. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can’t wait for next week. Please feel free to catch up on our past episode reviews in the meantime:

The Promised Neverland Episode 1 – 45,000,000$

The Promised Neverland Episode 2: 121045

The Promised Neverland Episode 3: 181045

The Promised Neverland Episode 4: 291045

and of course – I got a few more caps for you guys!

The Promised Neverland Episode 5 –Castling Castling is a special type of chess move. When castling, you simultaneously move your king and one of your rooks.

#action #anime #Collab #drama #dystopian #episodic #Promised Neverland #suspense

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