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dollfacefantasy · 2 days

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kenny. omg. hear me out. being rick’s stress relief during the alexandria arc of s5 😵‍💫 like omg yeah he’s clean shaven now but can’t go two days w/o fighting w someone from alexandria, got restrained by michonne n everything… figures he needs smth else to keep the group in alexandria’s good graces and settles on smth along the lines of free use w you!! can’t be too shitty of a day if you get fucked into the mattress by the end of it ♡

hnghhh em omg i love you so bad. ur genius for this. i put a little backstory because i'm physically incapable of not being longwinded lol <3

rick grimes x fem!reader

rick needs a little stress relief with all the new responsiblities at alexandria

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, age gap (early 20s/late 30s)

You always thought stress was supposed to decrease someone’s sex drive, but now that you were getting fucked dumb every single night, you were sure that wasn’t true.

Rick had to be the most wound up person you’d ever known, constantly up in arms about something. Ever since he and his group arrived at your once peaceful community, there’d been nothing but conflict. At best it was petty drama, at worst guns were drawn and brains were about to be splattered all over the pavement.

The worst it got was that day you saw him in the middle of the street hunched over the doctor like a rabid dog. You’d stayed back, keeping your distance from him as he waved his gun around and rambled on about control. Crimson blood dripped from his hairline all over his face. You couldn’t tell whether it belonged to him or the incapacitated man beneath him.

You’d never seen anyone like him. Living in Alexandria since the start of the outbreak meant you were pretty sheltered. The people here rarely raised their voices let alone tackled each other through windows. He looked like the physical manifestation of what everyone warned you life outside the walls was like.

It was scary, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on.

Needless to say, you were pretty eager to offer yourself up to take the position watching him while the others decided what to do going forward.

You entered the room while he was still asleep. He was as peaceful as you’d ever seen him. Taking a seat in the chair beside the bed, you looked at him almost as if he was encased in glass, a specimen for your examination. His skin still had the scarlet tint of blood. His brown curls lie stuck between his temple and the ratty old pillow on the bed.

It startles you a bit when his eyes flutter open and connect with yours. Awkwardness sludges through your veins, but he looks you over like it’s nothing. You know you’re one of the least threatening people he’s come across in the new world.

“You’re the one they got babysitting me, huh?” he rasps.

“I guess so,” you respond with more timidness than you would like.

His tongue slides out between his lips and licks the chapped skin while he continues to stare you down. It’s hard not to squirm in your seat, to shift your thighs against one another and make your desire known. Before you have a chance to think through your course of action though, he speaks again.

“Are you nervous?” he asks, his tone not looking to provoke a reaction but simultaneously wanting you to recognize your inferiority.

You shrug. He wasn’t gonna get the satisfaction. Not yet anyways.

“Are you scared of me?” he continues.

“No,” you answer.

“Good,” is all he says in response.

That was the last thing he said to you that day, but you could still hear the simple syllable in your mind. He might have been done talking to you. You weren’t through with him though. Under the guise of being assigned to watch him, you continued to linger around him as he went about his tasks in the community.

You tended to follow him around like a puppy. You were curious about him, watching him with inquisitive eyes, peeking over his shoulder as he cleaned his gun or tuned his transceiver. Your gazes were adoring too. It was obvious that you admired the way he could take control of a room with his words, how his people looked to him with reverence when he spoke.

He intoxicated you. In a world lacking things to do, observing Rick became a hobby for you.

He noticed of course, but he couldn’t say he minded. At least someone in this fucking place had an interest in survival and saw the value in listening to him. Plus, it didn’t hurt that you were pretty cute. He didn’t mind your company, didn’t mind teaching you things here and there. In his eyes, you were the least annoying out of all the new people here.

You both were on watch when you got a little promotion from least annoying. The two of you were sitting on the platform attached to the wall. It was night. Neither of you could sleep. Instead of telling you bits and pieces of the nightmares that kept sleep from him, he decided to teach you how to put a scope on a rifle. Nodding along to each thing he says, you watch his fingers and take note of every little thing he does. He gives you a few tries with it, but you’re still struggling to get the thing attached.

That’s when he looks at you, his expression unchanging, and pats his lap.

“C’mere.”

It’s out of your control really. You don’t even have a second to think about it before your legs have pushed you across the platform to the spot he beckoned you. With your back against his chest, his arms encase you and come around front to show you up close how to fasten the scope. When he’s done, he detaches it and makes you try.

His hands slide down your arms, lingering on the skin for longer than needed. They trail down to your sides then your hips. You bite your lip and try to focus on the task he wants you to perform rather than his touch. But then he leans forward to watch your hands work. His chin hovers above your shoulder. You can hear his breaths next to your ear. Once you’ve got it, you can essentially picture his subtle smirk in your mind.

“Good girl,” he croons teasingly.

You turn your head slightly, looking at him with your wide, innocent eyes. He chuckles and reaches up to stroke your cheek. Neither of you know what you’re really doing but one thing leads to another and you’re kissing. Then he’s got his hand up your shirt, groping your tits. It all comes to head and ends up with you straddling him, sinking down on his cock and burying your head in his shoulder.

Biting the fabric of his t-shirt to keep quiet, you begin to rise and fall. It felt so good as if it was what your body had been aching for. You felt the most alive you ever had in this shitty new world, and if the way he was gripping your hips and returning your thrusts were any indication, Rick felt the same way.

You both grunt and moan quietly as your bodies rut together with a primal desire for satisfaction. His lips glide over your collarbone and up your neck to the spot behind your ear. You let out a sharp whine which causes him to grin.

“Need you to be quiet, sweetheart,” he chides, “Don’t want to wake any of the others, do you?”

You’re quick to shake your head and cover your mouth with your palm, but you don’t stop bouncing. You needed him deep, rearranging your insides to a perfect mold for him.

“Then again,” he breathes, “They could stand to learn a thing or two from you. So obedient, eager to please…”

His words trail off as he helps you ride him. You’re so tight and warm, and for the first time since he set foot through those walls, his mind feels clear. He doesn’t hear the constant jabbering for his attention. His head doesn’t throb with the sensation of being pulled in five different directions. It’s like each thrust into your heat clears away a worry. By the time he cums, he feels drained of all his stress.

He needed more of that feeling. He couldn’t get enough of it. It was the start of a routine for the two of you. Everyday at least once, you were getting fucked till you were a drooling, dazed mess. And sometimes it was more than once. Sometimes he had you on your knees in the armory in the afternoon or pulled you into a storage closet on a morning supply run.

He had fifteen years on you, but most of the time he was the one leaving you exhausted.

And today had been a particularly bad day for Rick. Everything that could go wrong did. Alexandria was running low on a collection of different things, walkers were gathering at the East wall, one of the gate’s locks was rusting, a sprinkler broke, and on top of everything, he had to deal with everyone’s constant bitching.

The only thing that kept him from losing his shit was the thought of you laid in his bed at night waiting for him, batting your long eyelashes over those pretty doe eyes as you sat there in nothing but his t-shirt and a pair of panties. The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough.

He grits his teeth and dashes all across the community to try and get everything solved by sundown. The workload keeps him busy which fortunately makes the time go by faster. He also tries his best to keep his cool with people. There was no use starting petty conflicts when he had something much nicer to screw with now.

As soon as everyone’s headed off to bed and all the perimeters have been checked, he can’t get home fast enough. He’s quiet coming in. He didn’t wanna wake anyone. If someone got in his way now, he’d flip his lid worse than any of them had ever seen.

He’s up the stairs in seconds, taking them two at a time. Whisking the bedroom door open, a deep sigh seeps from his lungs as he sees his daydreams become realities of the night. Your pretty legs are on display for him as you lounge in the bed reading a book. He crosses the room and grabs you by the ankle to pull you closer to the edge of the bed. You already know what time it is and feel a dull tingle in the pit of your belly.

“Stressful day?” you ask as you finish the page you were on.

“Is the sky still blue?” he grumbles as he presses a kiss to your calf then another further up against your knee.

You smile at the quip, placing the book on the nightstand just in time as he flips you over onto your stomach. He climbs on top of you, squeezing your waist and nuzzling his face against your neck.

“Those people don’t even know how much they should be thanking you, baby,” he mumbles, “They don’t even know how many times a day you save their asses.”

You squirm a little beneath him as his fingers hook around your panties and tug them down. The sound of his zipper follows and it’s no time before you feel the weight of his dick against you.

“Needed you so bad all day,” he says.

“I needed you too,” you whimper as you feel slick gathering between your thighs.

He nips at your earlobe and rubs his hands up under his shirt you have on to tease the sides of your breasts.

“S’cute, honey,” he whispers, “Thinking about me while you did your little chores, hm?”

“Yeah,” you whine as he starts to line himself up and slot himself in the correct position.

It was such a familiar feeling, but each time it still made a chill run through you. Your insides ached with the pleasure that came from being filled up by him.

“Perfect girl. That’s just the way it should be,” he mutters.

He wastes no time before he starts thrusting. It only takes a couple before he starts groaning too. On nights like these, he was in no mood to take his time or savor the moment.

“So tight for me, Christ,” he chokes out, “There’s nothing like you.”

You moan softly too, putting your head down to muffle your sounds with the blanket. His hand rests around your neck for leverage as he fucks into you faster.

“That’s right, pretty baby. You’re so good for me. Givin’ me what I need. You’re the only one who can,” he grunts.

He snaps his hips harder, trying to find the limit of how hard he could go without being too loud or smacking the headboard into the wall. You claw at the ratty blankets on the bed as your toes curl. Your head turns to the side a little to peek up at him, and his eyes roll back.

“Everyone’s always fucking looking to me for something. No one can look at me like you can though. Those gorgeous eyes, all glossy for me. Not a thought behind ‘em right now,” he pants.

You nod weakly while digging your teeth into your lip again. It was getting harder to suppress the noises with the blanket alone.

“Rick…” you whimper, “Oh fuck, Rick.”

You gasp as he starts hitting the perfect spot. His stiff cock slips effortlessly in and out of you over and over and brushes that nook each time.

“Mhm. You’re the only one I wanna hear calling my name. Everyone here’s always whining for me, bitching for something. Not my girl though. The only time I hear you whining is when I’m balls deep, fucking you like you deserve,” he whispers.

You nod against the mattress. Your body rocks with the momentum of each thrust. Every stroke was working you closer to the edge, and Rick could feel his own impending as well.

Both his hands slide down to your hips to grip them hard. He keeps grinding and rolling his hips into you.

“Give it to me, princess. Lemme feel it. Gotta get my fix,” he says just as you start to tense up and jerk around below him.

You cum with a high moan into the plush fabric beneath you. Your body trembles and twitches as it handles the rush of euphoria. He keeps fucking you through it. His own noises start getting needier, closer to whimpers than groans. He grunts for a second as he finally feels release. He pulls out quickly and lets it spurt all over your ass. He’d so much rather do it inside, but he really didn’t need something else to worry about nine months from now.

With his release, the both of you are able to settle down for the night. He rolls off of you and quickly gets you cleaned up, so he can crawl into bed and hold you against his chest. The second most soothing thing to your pussy was the warmth of your body against him.

“So good for me, sweetheart. Always make things so good for me,” he sighs and lazily kisses your head, ready to drift off with the comfort of knowing this little scene would repeat itself tomorrow.

#rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes smut #twd smut #twd x reader #twd x you #twd x y/n #twd imagine

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lixxen · 1 day

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hello dear beloved mutual. WHAT the fuck is happening in iasip?????? i thought it was wholesome like mr rodger's neighborhood or smth?????

I HAVE NEVER SAT UP SO QUICKLY

IASIP is NOT wholesome at all, I'm sorry I've misguided you

It is genuinely a show about horrible people doing bad things. It's a completely satire show and you're not supposed to condone these fuckers at all. They ruin pretty much everyone who interacts with them's lives (besides a trans lady!! Shout out to Carmen)

Like. It's genuinely a great show because one minute you're like "man they're just silly guys" then they open their mouth and you're sitting there with your mouth open or head in hands

The main characters are: an unchecked autistic guy who is illiterate and a stalker, a BPD guy with a god complex who is a possible psychopath and hinted at could be a serial killer, a gay man who has daddy issues and Catholic guilt that's so bad he is homophobic half of the time and is basically in a relationship with the possible murderous psychopath (they're the definition of codependency), Danny DeVito <3 (who is manipulative as FUCK), and then a woman who is the twin to the possible murderous psychopath and could be a decent person if she wasn't around the rest and tried

It's the longest lasting sitcom and is pretty well written and as long as you acknowledge the show is satire and VERY reflective of the time it was airing per episode, you'll have a fun time. Like. It should have awards. It's impressive in many ways. And the creators ARE the actors. I'm not kidding. One of the guys gains and loses 60lbs for a single season and it's dedication. They also ship the two codependent fuckers openly. There's 16 seasons and there's another coming soon

But yeah. A ton of sensitive content happens so it's not for everyone. There's a few episodes removed from streaming for certain content

Here's the first season episode list:

I'm in season 9 still. I literally can write essays about these fuckasses.

#ask #momokyuuu #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia

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our-aroace-experience · 44 minutes

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Hi!

So i'm aroace - I've known this for years and I've known this since the end of yr 6/beginning of highscool/yr 7 and am quite open about it and most of my close friends know about how i am aroace.

Along with this I have never rlly been interested in romantic relationships - they never seemed all that interesting and even as a kid I could never be bothered to force myself into having crushes (smth ik that some other aro ppl tend to do) or ever thought of the idea of not having romance as being unappealing/sad. I've also never really had strong desires for sexual relationships - to me sex was smth that was overdramatised (like in p0rn, books or fanfiction), something that i was mildly curious about but would most likely never have due to not wanting to have to look for a sexual partner and sometimes feeling borderline freaked out at the thought of being with another person like that.

However I have been curious about QPRs before - until recentrly I didn't know too much about them though after I learnt more I thought that I would want to have one - though I've never really known who I would get into one with/how to ask someone to be in one with me.

Recently there is this girl who I am friends with who I think I would like to be in a QPR with - we've been friends since around 2022 and she's awesome! I rlly love spending time with her and all of that + I think that being in a QPR wouldn't change too much other then maybe one or two ways that we interact + having a label on it.

However she is allo and though ik that allo ppl can be in QPRs and also she isn't a huge romantic and has only had like, 1 crush a year ago, I also know that she probably doesn't know what a QPR means and I wouldn't want her to think that it would get in a huge way of if she even did want to have a romance ig?(I don't see this as likely bc to my knowledge she's had 1 crush throughout her entire life + moved on fast afterwards and hasn't rlly had another one but I don't rlly understand romance and ik that ppl can get crushes whenever and stuff).

I also happen to be a very nervous person - meaning that if I had to ask + tell her what a QPR is I would most likely chicken out or feel extremely anxious and not even finish or give her information that wasn't 100% correct.

Also she's smart enough to do her own research and stuff (which considering how bad i am at explaining things would be for the best) but she wouldn't do research if she didn't think it was all that relavant to her. By that I mean like - she knows what being aroace is, but she doesn't know a lot of in-depth stuff bc she just asked me some questions and to her knowing her friends feelings was enough. And I have very little idea of how to casually drop the words Queer Platonic Relationship so that she will just go and do some research for it.

Plus I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable bc she could liken me asking to a confession even tho it's not rlly one + if we were to be in one we happen to go to a school that has both a younger and older sibling which could end up meaning that even if she understood they could end up thinking she's queer and idk how her family would take that/I wouldn't want her to get in trouble or anything.

i’m not sure if you want advice or just to vent, since you didn’t specify, so i’ll just say that if you wanted you can try mentioning qprs in a context not related to you and see what she says, and go from there. good luck!

#our aroace experience #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aroace asks #advice #long post

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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this week's gna be so hellish

#🌙.rambles #my. cramps will eb so much worse bcs i will have si much stress #how am i gna work on all these assignments w all this painnnn #i'm actually so shit w dealing w this sort of physical pain #i'm so dramatic oh god #i want a kiss. give me a hug #sobbing i hate how when i'm physically unwell #goddamn i'm sorry if i'm grumpy or dramatic T_T #but oh no i get clingy as well oh nooooo #i shld sleep soon bcs i'll really need that for tomorrow but #AAAHAHAHHFHFJSJDGMDM #maybe i shld go odl tmrrw. i'll probably die w the cramps n the sleep-deprivation #i swear in class i can't tell if i have neurodivergent tendencies or if it's just my sleep-deprivation n the constant stress #tbf no even when i was a kid #not too obvious i think but idk at all bcs apollo n i are good at masking stuff #so am i normal or not???????#can i just cry #the physical pain n the stress is already enough n #there's smth so. no. i will never open up about it but #i feel like crying this is fucking bullshit #why are all these songs jn this playlist #yk what maybe i'll just cry. maybe that'll take away some of the physical mental n emotional pain #it's so hot i feel like i'm in fucking hell #i want to write abt smth but i shld deny that desire for now #theres sm to write #my private notes aren't even nearly filled with all the secrets of my mind #i can't stop writing until. until i have it all somewhere #so i can remember #i hate and love the fallacy of the mind so much #i'm sorry

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averlym · 1 year

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"what could possibly go wrong?"

#oops <doodles a cairo on the bus. and the train. and miscellaneous other public transportation>#cheerwives part two because i drew a riley and got obsessed ig #i had to go to School and Travel today (it is the middle of the school holiday week break to study. i'm mildly annoyed)#so this is me coping via the blorbo system #also i've realised rendering on my phone is Fun and so is painting faces #lowkey iffy about the proportions on this one but shhhb the sentiment gets across #part of this was based off how someone liked a very old watt post of mine so while i was looking for a watt doodle to render for funsies #up came a very old image of cairo asking what could possibly go wrong and so. repaint over it i guess! if you go into the artchives #(haha art archives) you might be able to find it #we are the tigers #watt #not driving the narrative not doomed by the narrative but a secret third thing(in the narrative nonetheless)#thinking back to the hadestown watt au that i never made proper stuff for #it spins in my head and gives me a bit of happiness #anyways i think my physics teacher is very Done with me submitting assignments at 2359 but unfortunately i haven't learnt. going to go back #(because i'm still at the mall. gotta walk back) and finish up stuff! yikes the revision season be upon ye i guess #there's another version of this digital painting with cairo half smiling and mouth clearly open to say smth #but unfortunately i dislike the colours in that one a bit and it looks too similar to this one to warrant posting them tgt #so instead of a before and after thing you simply get a cairo portrait haha #yes okay bye *disappears into void*#initial caption for this was. nooo don't ask what could possibly go wrong?'' you're so sexy aha #if it matters to anyone. just fyi

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efloarchive · 4 months

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why was i born with no artistic talent 🧍‍♀️

#´ ꕤ ◟ 𝐨𝐮𝐭 . . . cries in broke bitch.#i cant draw a straight line to save my life 🧍‍♀️#i am french kissing all of you talented ppl 🌹✨#am i doing smth to improve? no what are yout alking about #my toxic trait is that if im not good at smth from the get go i give up and pretend it never happened ✌️😌#i say as i open ps for the 137627543th time today #graphic design is my passion so true so real 🙏

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hauntingblue · 4 months

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Hancock being shy with luffy always gets me

#shortstack rayleigh vs empress boa hancock. fight!!#the kuja pirates branded water bottle 😭😭😭#rayleigh has to be om the revolutionary army or smth bc why would he care so much about training luffy when he did nothing for him...#apart of reminding him of roger and idk being basically his nephew #i thiught thwy were glong to do the scene of the hat and ace in the opening but in the episode and i just started teaeing up but it never #came lmao 😭😭#oh the ending is different.... go to new world....#should i stop here and pause or watch the other episode about the crew trauning too....#talking tag #watching one piece #OHHH 3D2Y IS A MOVIE......#later then #episode 516

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year

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A Mr. Darcy-type romantic lead is hard to write well, and Pride and Prejudice doesn't just remain popular because it's an unlikely love story, but because Jane Austen with her characterizations and the sequence of events still managed to make it convincing. But when you find a piece of media where the man our heroine is supposed to pine for is just rude, cold, and standoffish to her, without the hinted complexity... it's like, oh, wow. A mean little man you've got there. I'm so impressed. If only men were like this in real life, right? Just say "insolent nerd," I swoon.

#jane austen #pride and prejudice #this post is about my rewatching of exo next door yes shut up #text post #chanyeol sucked!!!!!!! he and y/n should've never ended up together!!!!! i mean yeonhee i forget she did in fact have a name!!!!!!!#listen. everyone who has ever watched that show knows it's viewer-insert fanfiction. and it's beautiful for that. goddamn trash #it has everything. it's embarrassing. it's a 16-part advertisement for line #and to this day it remains the only kdrama i have ever watched. no i'm serious (i deserve shame for this)#it even has that little trope where somebody's looking around for something and they accidentally pull smth that opens up a secret door #yeonhee and chanyeol get trapped in a secret room together where they have to admit their feelings #and chanyeol reveals that he's in love w her because he's her forgotten childhood bestie!!!! like come on!!!!#a thing like that fills a void for cringe content in the world. never before had something been so highly produced #w so little artistic value. like it's genuinely admirable.#it's almost like the room but it was made to be a certain success as opposed to an experimental indie film #tommy wiseau reboot of exo next door happening when?#listen exo. do it for the memes. do it for the fans who were there in 2015...... do it for me #the most important person on the internet. me. do it for me

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semercury · 7 months

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#stuff sarah says #visited ao3 for the first time in a long time and the level of stomach turning anxiety was disgusting #its def worse on desktop than phone? bc i never interacted on phone so thats safer #i hate what was stolen from me #and stolen is like... it wasnt malicious #its like you shared smth with your friend and then they moved away and took it with them #but instead of moving it was cutting you out of their lives and scrubbing any interaction they had with you #i know i deserved it but like. i would like to visit my fanfic site without feeling nauseous #i would like to open my word processors without feeling like im going to throw up from shaking #and thats not even counting the guilt over like. why should i be happy and enjoy things?#i miss fucking writing man. i miss reading. i miss getting excited about things with other people #i miss feeling like i was allowed to enjoy my stuff #but tbh that has been hanging over my head ever since i was like 16 for different reasons

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gingerbreadmonsters · 8 months

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ginger, cracking an eyelid and thinking about opening requests for a little bit? its more likely than you think 👀👀

#redacted asmr #i never say it in as many words but my askbox is almost always open 🥳🥳#to be honest i am rubbish at actually filling reqs so its probably not a good idea #im so fucking picky about what to write and the kinds of things that appeal to me #plus like....... most reqs that come in tend to be for things that im either not great at and/or dont particularly vibe with yk #its nobodys fault that writing david feels like pulling teeth its just the way it is you get me #hence why in my pinned it makes it clear that i take Suggestions rather than Requests #thing is i could do reqs or we could do like another ask game or smth #yeah another issue w me and reqs is that my little goblin brain just CANNOT stay on track and it fucks me up Every Time 😭😭#the prompt will be like 'uhhhh elliott sunshine beach day fluff uwu' and i will get 100 words in and #think 'wait what if they were actually dead/imprisoned/doomed the whole time that would be so fun' and then thats all i can write #i mean i started what was SUPPOSED to be DAMN crew cute halloween fluffy stuff and all of a sudden they're all dead so #not a great track record on my part #i cant stand a close plan there has to be room for improvisation #which is awkward when someone has asked for smth specific 🫣🫣#ginger rambles #oh also anon is off bc i am not putting up with any more ridiculous horseplay in my inbox no sir #fuck around in my askbox and..... actually don't find out bc surprise! i deleted it already sorry who are you again

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trollbreak · 5 months

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Man I need an unhappy but stubborn marriage ship huh

#I was gonna say another one but fluent in violence was just. those bitches clawin at each other lol #it was straightforward #the um. the time enough together build resentment is what I mean. the brief glimmers of adoration and remembering why they signed up for #this. even if they were willing to split up they’d never do it because the public image. the stubborn unbreakable loyalty. nobody else can #touch you but I’ll never give you a soft hand. not except those aching moments where we’re both flayed open and the silence is uncomfortable #because neither of us remembers how to do it. to hold this softness. this care. and then for weeks after they can’t stop thinking about it.#they both crave more of that connection so badly. it’s the sort of relationship where neither of them is necessarily worse than the other #they just. don’t fit together right. but they tried. and they tried. and at some point it became a matter of pride. of ‘um going to Make #this work’. especially if they only got together for social or political purposes or smth. it’s pride on the line and they’d sooner claw out #their teeth than give in now. it’s become a challenge. bend and become something that fits me or break and leave. they’re both so determined #to be the one to hold out in the end that it’s become this self perpetuating thing. you ask them something about one of their lives and they #can both answer it confidently. they know each others lives like the back of their hands. this leads to moments of voices slowly raising #over each other with corrections- although they’d never properly argue here. not with an audience. or it’s a moment of harmony. finishing #each others sentences and falling hand in hand into nostalgia. they each want the other to give in SO badly. they’re never going to ask it.#if they did end up going their own ways. there would be hurt feelings. but they would still care about each other. they’d be better friends #than they ever were as a couple but they refuse to consider that. do u SEE WHAT IM SAYING #< found that one playlist again

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victory-cookies · 10 months

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the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry

#this is going in the tags bc it’s stupid but it’s making me sad so #the only irl friend I have that I actually felt comfortable sharing my interests with just made fun of me #for gushing to her about smth over snap last night #and I’m at work rn so I can’t even cry bc in a few minutes I’m back out on the floor #but just like. I think I have rsd (especially around my interests and then my intelligence but that’s not pertinent here)#so I’ve never really been super open about what things interest me bc when I get made fun of for it or those things get insulted #It really hurts #the only people I’ve really felt comfortable opening up to are like. Sid obv and then this one friend of mine #bc the two of us found out we shared some interests and started like. telling each other about other things we like #I’d tell her about my silly little tv shows and podcasts and she’d tell me about the movies and books she was into #and I’ve explained to her before how I’ve never really been comfortable enough to talk about that shit and how I appreciated her being kind #and not insulting me like other people have in the past #but today I’m sitting on break and watching the replies she sent me and one of them is just a clip in response to my video from last night #where she just goes ‘girl I literally don’t care’ (and this was not in a joking way like that was her response #and it was in a tone that implied ‘so shut up about it’)#and like I get it! I am often not interested in the things that people tell me about! but I try to be earnest and engaged #and I can understand loving smth and wanting to share it with others! and how it sucks when people are then mean about it!#like when she tells me about a teen drama romance book or sends me instagram reels of cake decorating I try to respond with enthusiasm!#bc while the content may not interest me I like hearing about the things she enjoys and I’m glad she feels open to telling me about stuff!#but now I don’t want to share shit with her anymore bc this has given me a huge spike in anxiety and I feel like shit #idk. it’s stupid but it sucks #vent #ig

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caruliaa · 1 year

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the thing abt being in a minority group and caring abt people who arent in that group is that it is godamm exhausting sometimes.

#like. sometimes they just say or do shit that like. is insensitive but they dont fully process or realize why or how #and u know they dont mean any ill will esp to you and would most likely listen to you and take u seriously if u explained that #but just like. its a difficult dialogue to open up !!! esp with someone you care about #and being aware of those societal like. privileges and stuff within ur relationship with someone someone suddenly doesnt feel good yk #like its weird to think this is someone you care about a lot and who cares about you a lot but suddenly theres this thing of doing smth #insensitive and its hurting you somewhat and you not knowing what to do abt that or if that feeling is even reasonable #and sometimes the response to bringing it up is just intense okay ill never do that specific thing guilt without any examination #of why its upsetting to u and that just makes u feel guilty bc u dont want overly apologetic-ness u just wanna start a dialogue #idk !! its just weird man #tbh this is kinda a vague post but kinda a vaugepost abt multiple things and its also just generally true #so that makes it not a vuagepost anymore 👍🏽#flappy rambles #i promiseee i will try to bring it up with ppl when shit like this happens btw i just need to like. work on not feeling guilty abt saying #tht smth has upset me. which is hard !! and also sometimes i feel like it shldnt b on me to bring it up #ppl shld jsut not do insensitive shit !! but thats also complicated yk. idk theres nuances yk.

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year

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okay, i don't know why, but i have ALWAYS been like you described. i have so many movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, songs, etc that i want to experience but do i? nope, just put on another F1 race, please. i don't know if it's fear of the unknown (hello, flood of unexpected emotions!) or not wanting to challenge myself or also wanting to watch F1 and F1 just wins out, but here we are. i suspect it's part of my OCD? or some other ND thing that hasn't been diagnosed in me yet??

in fact prolly the only reason i watch F1 is bc i watch it with my sister. it is a lot easier to do new stuff with someone else...which deludes me into believing that if i just got a partner, we could open the floodgates and watch everything i haven't seen together, but lord knows it don't work that way 😑 in any case, i don't know what's wrong with us, but you're not alone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! 💕💕

(Reply ramble under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected)

I think I just struggle to start anything new or to finish anything. I totally agree with what you said about it being the fear of unexpected emotions/the unknown! Like for race seasons for example, I just spent a significant amount of time immersed in 2005 which is a specific set of information(you know: rules, strategy, drivers, etc.), so to start a new season would be a completely different set of info. As I said in my earlier tags, some part of me likes the anticipation more and also I always get way too hyper about things and that energy is overwhelming 😓 And I also feel like I have a fear about how much time I'm going to spend(which is stupid because I'll spend like way too much time aimlessly scrolling for the same amnt of time it'd take to watch a race.) Like the idea of specifically putting aside two hours to do only one thing is stressful to me, which is why I often used to like watching races when I literally couldn't do anything else(waiting for a class.) But now I'm stuck back in the cycle of not wanting to start something new, even if 2009 isnt exactly new because I've watched a lot of racing at this point, but still new enough to me that it's hard to convince my brain to start it. Like once I get into the groove of things, I can float through and enjoy myself, it's just that beginning barrier that's hard to get through.

I also definitely agree with having to watch it with someone else. I either have to binge watch things super quickly or watch them with other people, if not, I'll just end up never starting it or abandoning it. I think it's because it's really nice to be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings abt it with another person and not just be stuck with a million thoughts bouncing around your head(which is why I tend to make posts and then rant in the tags LOL)

I think thats why ive been able to get into F1 to such an extent and why it's been so fun for me. It's a live experience(with a strict time constraint, i.e. you can only watch it right here, right now) where there's a bunch of people watching and interacting. I love tumblr during a race weekend so much, I don't think I'd be obsessed with it as much if not for the ability to see everyone's reactions and interact back with them. I think that's why I struggle to start old seasons, because it's literally just me obsessing alone in my room and I can't talk about it to the extent that I can with the current season. Watching F1 as it goes along in a current season is just a perfect experience I guess, because the schedule pushes me along and I don't really have to rely on myself to keep going.

But yeah who knows!! Brain just being brain as always I guess, but it is annoying that it prevents us from doing things we want to do! But I will say, still, its so stupid that I procrastinate over watching 10 minute long YouTube vids LMAO, like pls I get the hesitation with a 2 hour race, 2 hour movie or 100k fic but, 10 minutes, seriously brain???

#theres some actual term ive heard before abt this kind of behavior #but i cant recall it rn and you know what google is like when youre trying to look up symptoms 😭#but yeah its probably smth mentally related which ive just never looked into further #i just am prone to anxiety about literally everything i think :)#sorry for such a long response!!#but its rly nice to know that someone else out there deals with this <3 #i think im just my greatest enemy LOL im always just fighting with my brain #some part of my brain just likes playing devils advocate and being contrary to what i want to do ig?#but yeah what you said about the flood of emotions! so true!!#like for some reason ig its just hard to open myself up to such sudden excitement/joy if that makes sense?#tysm for the ask :D it makes me feel a lot better abt that :D #i always fear that i complain too much abt things in my own control #like: 'i want to watch 2009 but i cant' 'but isnt the ability to watch 2009 under your control' 'yeah BUT YOU KNOW'#when i say i want to do something i either do it immediately or its gonna take a bit for me to get to it #but rest assured it will probably happen eventually #i like how i wrote a super long response and still somehow managed to write a paragraph of tags #truly my trademark at this point #catie.asks.#catie.rambling.txt

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