#our aroace experience

[our-aroace-experience]

based on the stories you’ve all been sending, this seemed appropriate lol

#our aroace experience #asexual #aromantic #aroace #ace pride #aro pride #ace #aro #aroace originals

[hamptersadness]

Hi it's Hampter and I got questions for aroace indivdials or aro and ace peoplle.

I am doing research project for school about rep for aroace people in the film industry but I would like some of everyone's opinions.

I can't use our aroace experience blog as a source because I didn't actually "interview" them. All quotes will be anonymous unless you give me a fake name that I can put down.

What do you identify as?

When did you figure out your sexuality?

What representation do you see in today's world concerning aroace individuals?

Did you struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality?

Did coming to terms with your sexuality hurt any aspects of your life? (Friends, family, relationships etc)

Do you think you would have benefited seeing characters in tv shows/movies growing up if they had aroace characters?

Is there anything you would like people to know about what being aroace means to you, or anything you would like to say about it?

You can answer all of them or some of them. You can DM me or reply in the comments.

Hugs!<3

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #aro #aroace problems #our aroace experience #asexual #ace #ace problems #aromantic #aroace #aro spec #ace spec #lgbt pride #questions

[our-genderfluid-experience]

This blog was inspired by @our-queer-experience @our-sapphic-experience and @our-aroace-experience . I couldn't find a genderfluid one, so I made one. Even if you aren't specifically genderfluid, you can share your stories here if you want. There will be no hating people because of gender, sexuality, religion, or race on this blog.

#our genderfluid experience #genderfluid #blog #new blog #our queer experience #our sapphic experience #our aroace experience

[our-aspec-experience]

I'm aroace, but I'm also aplatonic, and it breaks my heart a little every time someone says that aspec only includes aromanticism and asexuality

same :( aspec includes aplatonics/aplspecs, and not just acespec and arospec, and i very rarely see people including them in aspec stuff!

i have seen many say that aspec also includes agenderspec folks, and i agree, but this blog is only focused on aspec attraction :3

#aroace #our aroace experience #apl #aplatonic #our aplatonic experience #aspec #our aspec experience

[just-your-average-aroace-bitch]

So I was talking to this girl today and we were talking about you know boys and stuff and so she told me about this guy she had a crush and honestly… how tf is that real? Like honestly it kinda feels like the whole universe is in on this private joke that I’m not aware of. It just doesn’t seem real. I dunno if I’m the only one who feels like this but yeah. I dunno it just seems so unreal.

#aroace #aromantic #ace #aro #asexual #asexuality #aroace rants #our aroace experience #queer #lgbtq+

[starrycosme]

Once in a while, when I'm feeling down about my aroaceness, I remember stuff that's happened to me. It's like my brain bringing back memories to make me feel sad.

I remember that one time I had been trying to gather the strength to come out for months, because each time someone assumed I was allo I would get so uncomfortable. And this stuff is even worse if you try to deny it, which is so frustrating. That frustration built up, and built up until I just exploded.

My grandma asked me about having a boyfriend, and I just couldn't put up with it anymore. I normally just ignore those types of questions, cause I figure they're inoffensive enough. But the amatonormativity of it all really is the reason why it took me a year and a half to fully accept to myself that I'm aromantic. I was fed up with it all. I told her that I wasn't interested, that I don't like men. She looked fucking horrified for a second there. Then I finished my statement saying that I don't like women either. That I just don't like anyone that way. And then she looked relieved.

I can't express with written words the sadness I felt, the fucking frustration of realizing that despite how hard that was for me, she just brushed it off. It was like she didn't even believe me. Like it was just some dumb thing I was saying to bring attention to myself.

It's not that she accepts asexual and aromantic people over people with other queer orientations, it's that she doesn't even acknowledge them as something real enough to deserve her contemplation. I get that it could have been worse. I really do. But, in a sense, I sometimes feel like the answer she gave me was one of the worst she could have said.

"Well, that's a relief."

#aroace #asexual #aromantic #coming out #personal rant #our aroace experience

[demi-romantics]

Truly experiencing the opposite of a gay panic, the aro/ace dread, when I think somebody has a crush on me

#like I’m flattered but also makes me very uncomfortable #I totally borrowed aro ace dread from #@our-aroace-experience #aromantic #asexual #demiromantic #demisexual #graysexual #grayromantic #joke #but also true

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this' #'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!' #'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you' #like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences. #but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck. #you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck. #and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters! #and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about. #but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[our-aroace-experience]

hey, aro and/or ace people

garlic bread!!!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #aroace joy!

[our-polyamorous-experience]

my polyamorous experience is being aroace but having three queer platonic partners

I'll let you in on a little secret, anon: I'm also on the aroace spectrum but ive got a partner, three friends with benefits, and one queerplatonic partner.

#sinastre answers asks #our polyamorous experiences #aroace #acespec #arospec #aromantic #asexual #polyamory #queerplatonic relationships #qprs

[hamptersadness]

THIS is why I didn't tell her at first. She was so happy for me.

She thought I said yes. She thought we were dating.

Which caused me to shut down even more.

And then the fucking guy went to lunch with us. So I couldn't handle her asking anymore.

She was all like "it's okay I won't judge you for going out with him" cuz I told her I was scared of telling her. She said "it's okay that you said yes"

And I told her no. I turned him down and I fucking hate myself for doing it. Because I will never like him the way he likes me. I will never be able to make him happy the way he needs.

She knows I'm aroace, but she just wanted to think that I'm happy for having actually someone in my life.

And honestly yeah I'm painting her in a bad light but she's just being my best friend. Those text messages weren't serious it just felt like it was because I was scared she would hate me if I said no.

#mental health #our aroace experience #aroace #aroace problems #dating #dating problems #bsf problems

[clarablightt]

living with your queerplatonic girlfriend is like a ✨forever sleepover✨

#i can’t wait to experience this irl #i haven’t done it yet but i know it’ll be incredible #if the ✨all night sleep calls✨ that we do are anything to go by #i love my girlfriend so much #aromantic #asexual #aroace #queerplatonic #qpr #lesbian #sapphic #sapphic aroace #sapphic qpr #♡ #our aroace adventure

[our-oriented-aroace-experience]

hey! :D

I'm Kit (he/him), and I'm an oriented aroace transmasc minor. This is my first blog that isn't just incessantly reblogging everything that's on my dash, so I guess I'll learn how to manage this as I go (wooooooooo) (I have no idea what I'm doing😭)

This blog is primarily for oriented aroace folks, but everyone is welcome here. Feel free to send in asks or tag me in anything aspec related! Just don't be a bigot. Hate/exclusion is cringe and not welcome here :)

Inspired by @our-queer-experience, @our-queerplatonic-experience and @our-aroace-experience!

Edit 2024-02-08: I have found out that mobile is terrible for reblogging things on the correct blog 😭 if anyone sees any reblogs that aren't related to this blog (and NAWT tagged with #not an experience) please tell me

Also here are some tags! Feel free to DM me or send in an ask if you want clarification

#our oriented aroace experience - any experiences

#my oriented aroace experience - my experiences

#oriented aroace ask - asks on this blog! (will most likely be the majority of posts)

#reblogs - reblogs. I think this one's pretty self-explanatory

#[name] ask - asks from specific people. For continuity!

#anon ask - asks from anons

#not an experience - anything that I post here that isn't an experience

#pinned post #introduction #our oriented aroace experience #will be edited soon

[our-asexual-experience]

Hello! I’ve just noticed that on a lot of my asks people seem to be confusing asexual and aromantic! So, here’s a reminder.

Asexual: A lack of sexual attraction

Aromantic: A lack of romantic attraction

Of course there are exceptions to this you can identify however you want!

#asexual #ace #our asexual experience #lgbtqia #aromantic #aspec #aro #aroace

[our-sapphic-experience]

hey sorry i wanted to ask a question that would reach sapphics and figured this was a good way to do it if a non-man is aroace but qpps with non-men, would they be considered sapphic?

it really just depends on what the person considers themself!!

also this is not a personal attack on you but i’ve never been a fan of the man/non-man dichotomy. there are sapphics who are both women and men (bigender) there are trans male sapphics who still feel a connection to the label, there are butches who identify partially or fully as men and still lesbian, the whole thing is just a really flawed way of defining queerness. sorry

#our sapphic experience #aroace #qpr