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wanted-to-be-nosey · 11 months

Text

Too much

Here's my first fic as part of the @starkerfestivals summer bingo - it's my first ever bingo card, so here's hoping I get more than one done!!

prompt fill - Overwhelmed wordcount ~ 2,400 warnings - none I think. early relationship teething problems. Possibly self esteem issues?

AO3 link

~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter knew that dating Tony Stark would be weird.

He wasn’t naïve.

Being friends with the man came with its own set of warnings. He was aware of the genius’s eccentricity. He was aware the man didn’t have a healthy eating habit or sleeping schedule. That if they were in public someone was likely going to try and get the man’s picture or autograph or both. He’d spent the last five years witnessing it all first hand. Back when Tony was solely his mentor it hadn’t been as noticeable, but as they grew closer and became friends he learned to adapt to the elder man’s personality and fame.

He’s not entirely sure how it happened, but their relationship had slowly evolved until they began openly flirting just after Peter’s eighteenth birthday.

Tony had whisked him away for a weekend in Malibu with Ned and some of the other Avengers. Peter had been harbouring a crush on Tony Stark for most of his teenage years, whereas he knew that these feelings were all new to Tony. It was only over the past year he’d been able to see Peter as a grown man as opposed to the starstruck fourteen-year-old he’d been when they first met. As such, Peter wasn’t in a rush to push their flirting any further. Not wanting to make Tony uncomfortable, he was happy to wait for Tony to make the next move.

As it turns out, he was kept waiting for almost two years. A week after his twentieth birthday, Tony asked him out on an official date. He wanted them to be in a relationship. Peter hadn’t even had to think about it before giving his answer. He’d been dreaming of that moment for two years.

Once they were official, Peter had expected there to be some changes to their relationship. Some more media attention, maybe more dinners with breakfast the morning after, more lingering touches as they tinkered in the lab.

What he hadn’t expected was for everything to change.

It had only been a month, but Peter hadn’t stepped foot in the lab once since he’d agreed to go on a date with Tony. Instead, Tony had taken him out for fancy dinners, for romantic walks in private parks – not that the private signs prevented the paparazzi from following them in – and once, even on a helicopter ride to ‘see the sights’.

They saw each other at least every other day, but Peter was yet to stay the night. They hadn’t gotten further than some kissing and heavy petting. Anytime things began to grow more heated, Tony would back off and change the subject. Peter couldn’t decide whether to find it amusing that the man was apparently trying to protect his honour or be offended that the man didn’t want him as much as Peter wanted the older man.

Peter had spent more nights than he’d like to admit getting intimate with his own left hand when he returned from these dates.

And if he thought that the unusual – and unending – dates weren’t enough, he had not been prepared in the slightest for the gifts.

In the past four weeks, he’d been sent enough flowers, chocolates, trinkets and clothes to stock his entire apartment building. He’d know because he’d been handing bouquets of beautiful flowers and boxes of chocolates to neighbours he passed in the hallways for the past two weeks.

Despite his protests, Tony hadn’t stopped showering him with presents.

He’d ran out of free space on the surfaces in his apartment – much to Ned’s dismay – which was why he couldn’t even say he was surprised when he got home from class to find Ned sitting on their second-hand sofa, head in hands, staring at a dozen bouquets of roses scattered around the floor.

Heaving a sigh, he shut the door behind him before asking, “Again?”

“Yeah,” Ned groaned. “Arrived about thirty minutes ago. They have a note saying he hopes you had a good day.”

Thumping his head back against the door, he felt like the room was shrinking. Growing up he’d been used to May’s eclectic clutter surrounding the apartment, but this was stifling.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he muttered, hands digging into his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I just… I love him but I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I can’t breathe. He needs to pull back. It’s too…” he trailed off unsure how to express what he was feeling.

“Overwhelming?” Ned helpfully supplied. “Intense? Overbearing? Daunting?”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed away from the door and navigated his way around the vases to settle beside Ned.

“All of the above? I don’t know.” He shrugged, blowing out a breath. He didn’t want to come across as ungrateful.

“Maybe you need to talk to him. Be more assertive,” Ned encouraged.

“I guess. I don’t want to hurt him–“

“Well, he’s hurting you by doing this. You said yourself that you can’t handle it. And if you don’t say something then I will. This is our apartment, and I haven’t been able to find the remote for like a week. I think it’s been lost in the sea of peonies.” Ned gestured vaguely to the right, where last weeks peonies were still in full bloom.

Scanning the room, Peter couldn’t help but nod along. He knew his best friend was right. If he didn’t sort things out with Tony soon, then it wasn’t likely he’d be able to continue with the relationship. It was simply too overwhelming to deal with. Tony was too different to the man he’d grown to love.

He missed the Tony he’d known for the past five years.

“I’ll talk to him tonight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter couldn’t help but smile as he watched Tony through the glass doors of the lab.

After some dinner and a pep talk from Ned, he’d made his way to the Tower and let himself up to the lab. He used to drop by unannounced regularly, but not since they’d started dating. Tony had started intercepting him on his way, diverting them to another location. He’d missed getting to see Tony in his element. His music blaring through the speakers as he moved effortlessly between separate holographic monitors while simultaneously tinkering with the project in his hands.

Even without seeing it, Peter could imagine the look of bliss on Tony’s face. The sparkle in his eyes as he worked out the solution to his next problem. The way he only ever seemed to truly let his guard down when he was working on something.

Peter knew that the minute he walked in, that carefree environment would be gone.

He’d considered if he should ask Tony to meet him in another room. If they should leave the lab as a sacred, safe place, but if he was being honest, if this was going to be potentially the last time he got to spend with Tony, then he’d like it to be in the lab. In the room where everything had started.

He allowed himself one more moment to watch Tony working before opening the door and quietly asking FRIDAY to turn down the music. The minute the music faded, Tony spun around on his stool to stare at Peter. He watched as Tonys face raced through a range of emotions from surprised to happy to confused to panic, before he was standing from the stool with a look of unease as Peter approached the desk.

“Hi,” Peter greeted quietly as he leant on the desk across from Tony. Hoping the small amount of distance would allow him to make it through the conversation without backing out.

“Hey, Pete,” Tony greeted warily. “I, uh, I hadn’t realised you were here. Did I forget about our plans? Have you been waiting long? FRIDAY didn’t warn me...”

Shaking his head, Peter absently picked at a loose thread on his jeans.

“No, no. Not at all. No plans. I just got here actually, and I asked FRIDAY not to say anything. I actually, uh, wanted to talk to you.”

He worried at his bottom lip before making eye contact with Tony who was close enough to touch. The older man had a resigned, pained expression twisting his face.

“What about?” Tony asked quietly, diverting his gaze away from Peter.

“Us.” Peter shrugged, trying to gauge Tony’s reaction. “Or I guess more specifically how I’m feeling at the moment.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony spoke quickly, the words tumbling from his lips. His voice pleading as he leant across the table. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want just please don’t do this Pete. I can change, I’ll be better.”

Swallowing past the tightness in his throat, Peter ran his hands through his hair.

“That’s the problem, Tony! I can’t keep doing this. It’s too overwhelming. I feel like since I agreed to be your... partner or boyfriend or whatever you want to call it, that I’ve lost you. I feel like you just keep sending me gifts – constantly – and I don’t have space. Despite seeing you, I don’t feel like I’m actually spending time with you. Do you realise this is the first time I’ve been in the lab since I said yes?” Not being able to stand still anymore, he began to pace the length of the lab as he continued. “I– I thought that once we started dating everything would remain the same except we might have more meals together and then, y'know, spend time in bed together. But instead, everything completely changed. We’re out and about constantly and we haven’t even gone past first base! Not that I’m saying we should do anything you aren’t ready for, but I just... I don’t know what’s happening between us.”

He felt drained after finishing his mini rant. He wasn’t even sure that he’d been clear about what he wanted. Words had just tumbled from his mouth in a stream of consciousness. The only sound in the lab was their heavy breathing and the bots pottering about in the far corner. Peter couldn’t even bring himself to look at Tony for fear of what his reaction would be.

After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a couple of minutes, Tony cleared his throat.

“Can I say something?” Tony asked quietly.

Nodding his head, Peter grabbed a stool and sunk heavily onto it.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Tony stated. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m not exactly known for having long, meaningful relationships. In the past the only thing that has worked for me is my money and my fame. Pepper only managed to put up with me for a couple of months and her final straw was the time I spent in the lab. I didn’t want you to think I was neglecting you, so I avoided it when we were together. I lose track of time when I’m tinkering, I didn’t want to do that if you were waiting for me. And you want to know why we’ve not had sex?” At Peter’s timid, embarrassed nod, he continued. “It’s because I’m scared. You only get one chance at a first time with the person you want to spend your life with, and I’m terrified of messing that up. What if once we’ve done that, you decide I’m too much for you to deal with and leave me? I’m not sure I could handle having you and loving you to then lose you. Knowing what I’m missing would be harder than living with the fantasy of it.”

Blinking past tears that were beginning to sting his eyes, Peter watched as Tony slowly made his way around the table until he was kneeling in front of him, Tony’s hands resting gently on Peter’s knees.

“Please just tell me what to do to make this better.”

“I don’t need you to do anything,” Peter whispered. “I just need you to be yourself. I didn’t fall for this version of you, I just fell for you, you dumbass. The one I can spend hours, hell days, with in the lab. You don’t neglect me by spending time in the lab because its something we do together. I’m happier eating Thai or leftover Pizza from the couch than I am at some fancy Michelin star restaurant. I don’t want all the gifts and flowers– " at Tony’s look, he shrugged and slightly amended himself “– ok so maybe for birthdays or special occasions, but not all the time.”

Sliding off the stool he knelt in front of Tony so he could look the elder man in his eyes before he continued.

“I also don’t plan on leaving you. I have those exact same thoughts that you do. I believe that I’m not going to be good enough. That I’ve too little experience compared to those you’ve had in the past, but May always tells me that you can’t live your life afraid of what might happen. So, don’t let your fear get the better of you. If I can believe that a genius, billionaire, former playboy, philanthropist can fall for a dorky kid from Queens, then please try to believe that I’m just as head-over-heels for you.”

Tony chuckled before slowly nodding his head.

“I suppose I should listen to May then. I can’t promise I won’t slip up– “

“We’re always going to slip up,” Peter interjected. “That’s part of being in a relationship. The best we can do is make sure we’re both on the same page and work through our shit together.”

“Well, when you put it so eloquently.” Tony rolled his eyes, before grabbing Peter’s hands, eyes turning dark. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve about had enough emotional chat for one hour. Why don’t we try moving past that first base?”

At Peter’s almost desperate nod, Tony smirked as he moved forward, one hand resting on Peter’s cheek while the other gently cupped the back of his neck. Leaning into the kiss, Peter allowed himself to relax and let Tony take the lead.

For the first time in weeks, he was completely at ease. Tony seemed to understand what he was after, and only time would tell how they’d react to those changes. Things weren’t perfect, they still had things they’d need to work through, but then who ever wanted to be perfect?

#starker #sfsummerbingo23 #peter parker × tony stark #dating problems #new relationship #Tony stark has shit self esteem

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