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erekiosuncreativeideas · 4 years

Text

Being Human - Chapter 02

<= Chapter 01

Summary : Snatcher is not having a good time. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/60233137

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Hey hey heeeey, new chapter ! Hope you'll like it !

Also, I never expected so many good reactions, on the first chapter ! Thank you so much everyone, it means a lot to me ! I really hope you'll enjoy this fanfic !

Thank you again for all your likes and reblogs !! I'm so happy if you like this fanfic !

Don’t forget to check out the audio files for this chapter ! - Bow Kid’s Apologies - Hat Kid’s Apologies

The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 2 - “How can any of this be okay? Are you blind?”

Snatcher didn’t really know how long he had been crying. Maybe it was mere minutes, maybe it was hours… The shade wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The world had just collapsed beneath him, taking him down to a pit of pure despair. He couldn’t help but hope this was just an immense joke, that the kids were just playing with him, but the more time passed… The more unlikely it became.

It was just -oh- so very real. No matter how much he wished to go back to his spectral form, it was just not going to happen.

The ghost’s face was red and his eyes were puffy from all of his cryings. They stung and the feeling of his cold tears on his cheeks was unpleasant. His nose was stuffed and he was forced to breathe through his mouth when he wasn’t even able to swallow his own saliva yet. The overstimulation was killing him: even the littlest thing felt extremely intense for him, making him unable to focus. He could barely hear his own thoughts, buried under all of those terrible and awful sensations. This was just a pure nightmare.

He could feel the kids’ hands rubbing his back gently and carefully as he kept sobbing, unable to stop. Breathing was difficult and he couldn’t hold back some coughs as tears left his eyes. He probably looked so stupid, so pitiful, so… Pathetic. The same reasons he hated his past self which, ironically, had never been so true before, now that he was back in his old body. Why did it have to happen to him, of all people?

The spirit sniffed loudly and, after a while, he didn’t have any more tears to cry. His eyes just stung and he felt a lump in his throat. He slowly lifted his head again, meeting the children’s eyes once more. They were still watching him with worry, with pity.

Snatcher hated those expressions.

-“It’s going to be okay,” said the bow-wearing kid, tilting her head on the side as she tried to reassure him. The ghost, however, was very much not reassured and let a scoff leave his lips. He opened his own mouth to answer, still with difficulty. Moving a tongue he didn’t have earlier the same day was particularly hard.

-“Are you joking, kiddo?” he retorted, with a mix of sarcasm and bitterness in his voice: “How can any of this be okay? Are you blind?”

The older kid punched him lightly in his left shoulder, making him wince at the wave of unwanted sensations hitting him hard:

-“Hey, don’t talk to her like that!” she reprimanded him with a frown: “She’s trying to be helpful!”

In hindsight, the younger child was trying to be helpful, yes. At his remark, the latter had knitted her brow, probably not knowing what to do or what to say after the way he had replied to her. Her older best friend, however, was not happy with that. And, if Snatcher had been in a better state of mind, maybe he would have understood his lack of tact.

Yet, the ghost was not feeling well at all. Nothing mattered to him anymore, not if he had to stay like this.

-“Helpful?” he repeated, furious: “Unless you can make me a ghost again, I’m sorry, but you are not being helpful,” he spat, glaring at the hatted child.

The two kids stared at him, astonished by his attitude. In a way, he had always been mean and hurtful, yet… There was something else, something new, that was much more malicious and cruel in his words. It was not his usual sarcasm, his normal bitterness, no, on the contrary.

His sentences were full of hatred, a point that the kids definitely didn’t miss.

The hatted brat’s face contorted in anger, surely not believing how spiteful he was being to them after the way they tried to comfort him:

-“Are you serious?” she argued, absolutely mad: “You threw the Time Piece! You’re the reason you’re a pecking human again!” she fumed, gesturing to him as she kept going: “You’ve been crying for half an hour and now you’re being like this? Seriously?”

The spirit squinted, not liking her tone at all. She dared raise her voice at him, the powerful soul-stealing ghost? Well, in a way, he wasn’t that powerful anymore, but still. He had killed many people for much less.

-“I don’t want your pity, kid,” he warned, trying to mimic his old threatening voice, though it wasn’t as successful as he hoped: “And I certainly don’t need someone to comfort me.”

Silence fell between the trio. He and the hatted child were looking daggers at each other, waiting for one to glance away or to blink. The younger brat was watching them, not knowing what to do. Eventually, her best friend looked away and crossed her arms:

-“You know what?” she challenged: “Fine. Since you’re doing so well on your own, well, we’ll leave you be!” she declared, very irritated, before turning to the bow-wearing child: “Come on, Bow, let’s go.”

The latter seemed hesitant and glanced between him and her friend, clear remorse showing on her face. But her friend was much too angry to care and insisted: “You heard him very well, he doesn’t need us.”

She then took the younger’s hand, pulling her away from the spirit, and added, darkly: “So let’s go.”

The bow-wearing kid gave him one last look before turning around, following her best friend silently. The ghost watched them go away, clenching his teeth as he was trying his best to straighten up. He heard several of his joints crack from the movement and he grimaced as he did everything he could to ignore how much it disgusted him. God, human bodies were so gross.

Soon, the little girls disappeared from his sight and he was alone again. The shade stared into space as he sighed, exasperated: he didn’t need them. They weren’t going to help him anyway, he might as well try to find a solution to his problem by himself! Yeah, after all, that’s what he had done for all those years, fighting Vanessa all on his own! How hard would it be to occupy a human body for a while? He had to fix this whole situation, the contrary wasn’t an option. No matter how much time it would take him, he was determined to try anything if it meant he would be back to his old self. Well, he didn’t have much of a choice anyway. After all, if he didn’t…

Subcon would freeze again with Vanessa’s magic spreading ice everywhere. Snatcher and his powers were the only reason the forest and the village were safe from her. He had no idea how many days or months he had left until the situation went from bad to catastrophic… It probably depended on Vanessa’s mood and whether she learnt about what had just happened to him or not.

Oh, God, if she ever learnt about this…

The ghost forced this thought out of his mind and shook his head. He regretted the gesture immediately, as it made him nauseous almost instantly. He had the impression someone had just hit him violently on the head with a bat and he couldn’t help but bring his hands to his temples. His fingers massaged the skin, pressing against it as he shut his eyes hard. He shouldn’t have cried earlier, it made the pain so much worse.

Little by little, the shade pulled himself together and attempted to sit up once more. The movement was hard and awkward, since it meant he had to use a lot of muscles and articulations at the same time. Snatcher had possessed many people in the past and had shapeshifted into humanoid forms a lot as well… But controlling an actual body, a living one, one that used to be his own? This was entirely new or, well, something he hadn’t done for centuries. When he tried to move his legs, he realized with horror that they weren’t moving the way he wanted them to. It was just so hard, so confusing, so… Imprecise. His legs were heavy, they were long, and he just knew he wouldn’t be able to stand up. Balance was something very precise and extremely easy to disturb. Snatcher would just be like a baby trying to walk by himself. He groaned at the thought, feeling even more pathetic. Just like he used to be when he was alive… How ironic.

The shade put his hands on the ground and tried to push himself up, clenching his jaw hard as he used all his strength. The movement made him whine in pain and displeasure as he felt the clothes rubbing against his skin, much more than before. He quickly lost his balance and fell back on the grass, feeling even weaker than he already was. He was so miserable.

Rage started to build up inside him again and, with more determination, he attempted to stand up once more. He had to get up, he had to go back to his home: maybe there would be something in his books helping him to go back to normal… Yet, he couldn’t help but feel quite pessimistic at the idea: after all, his problem had been caused by a Time Piece and he had never heard of those before… So the probability of finding anything related to it was quite low. Still, this was his only chance, since the brats had claimed they couldn’t help him. The shade let out a bitter scoff: ha, they didn’t even try! Yeah, they were some time and space experts, so what? Those were just words!

The spirit tried to get up again, in vain. He fell on his side and a silent cry left his lips at the shock. It hadn’t been particularly painful, so to speak, but the intensity of all the sensations engulfing him at the same time hit him very hard. He missed not being able to feel anything… Especially when feeling things led him to fall down multiple times.

He remained motionless for a while, trying to find the strength to straighten up once more, ignoring how exhausted he was starting to become. This wasn’t working. Maybe he needed something to help him? A branch or anything else? Snatcher examined his surroundings, looking for something he could use. His eyes fell on a nearby tree, which was large enough for him to hold. Putting most of his pride aside, the shade looked around him to make sure no one would see him, and he started to crawl. As soon as his body began to slide on the ground, Snatcher shut his eyes, loathing how intense his sense of touch was. He could feel the skin of his stomach rubbing against his clothes, he could feel the pressure of his own body to the ground, the feeling of gravity pulling him down… This was pure torture. He dug his fingers into the dirt, trying to pull himself forward. Some dirt stuck itself under his nails and he let another cry out at the sensation. It was awful, so awful, he just wanted it to be over… Why couldn’t this be easier? Why did he have to feel such horrible things? Everything hurt, everything was just so intense, he hated all of this!

The ghost had to stop midway, unable to do it in one go. He took advantage of this little break to breathe, trying his best to calm his heartbeat down. He could sense its pounding in his chest, quick and loud in his ears. When he felt comfortable enough, he kept going, hoping this would soon be over.

When the spirit managed to get to the tree, he approached his hands from it and wrapped his arms around it. His face was stuck on the bark and the contact made him grimace. He tried to get away from it, but he knew he wouldn’t be as stable otherwise. With a lot of unwillingness, the shade forced himself to get closer again and he took a deep breath.

This was now or never.

Digging his nails into the bark, Snatcher pulled himself higher, having trouble moving his legs as he did so. No matter how much he was trying to use them as a way to push himself up, they just slipped under him. Soon, all he could do to stay somewhat stable was to cling on the tree, his nails hurting from how much he was putting pressure on them. For a few seconds, he remained perfectly immobile, not daring to move, stuck in a very embarrassing position. His bottom was turned up, while his upper body was stuck to the bark, his arms around the tree.

This couldn’t be happening. This just couldn’t be happening.

Tentatively, the shade attempted to move his feet again, in order to straighten himself. For a brief moment, he thought it was working, because he did manage to push himself higher against the tree. However, before he was able to do anything more, his feet slipped under him, and he fell down. His chin hit one of the roots of the tree, making him scream from the sudden pain. Snatcher instantly brought his hands to his bruised skin and hold back another scream, only letting out a high and long hum of pain. New tears appeared in the corner of his eyes and, feeling his resolve crumple little by little, he curled up just like before.

He was so pathetic, so miserable… Maybe even more than how he used to be back when he was alive. Somehow, the thought hurt him even more than the previous bump on his chin, much more. Slowly, he started to sob, curling up more and more as his cries became louder. Why was this happening to him? Why? Why, why, why? This wasn’t fair! He didn’t deserve any of this!

Everything was just so painful. Moving, breathing, crying… Everything was. He had trouble to breathe, having his nose clogging up again because of his second meltdown. His body began to shake. It was unnoticeable at first, but it quickly evolved in something much more worrying. Who cared? Maybe if he just died again, he would go back at his previous ghostly form!

A sad and bitter smile appeared on his lips: yes, maybe it was the solution. To be back as a ghost, one had to die… Why wouldn’t this time be any different? Maybe if he just let himself to die, everything would go back to normal. At this point, he had no other options… The kids couldn’t help him, he wasn’t able to move by himself, and no one was nearby to help him… His pride absolutely loathed the idea of asking for help, especially with the way he probably looked at the moment, but… This was a very peculiar situation, one that needed exceptions.

It still made him sick just to imagine it.

His sobs increased, echoing all around him in a heavy silence. He was alone, so alone. For a few minutes, he really thought that his plan would work as intended: he would wait for death and come back as a ghost, just like he had planned… But then, he heard quick footsteps approaching him, as if someone was running in his direction. He barely had time to lift his head that a panicked and crying voice rang in his ears, making him wince once more:

-“Sorry, we’re so sorry!” The shade recognized the voice of the bow-wearing kid and, soon enough he felt her hands touching him, as if she was holding him. He jumped at the contact, definitely not used to it. Not long after that, he felt another set of arms hugging him close and tight:

-“Are you okay?” it was the hatted brat. She wasn’t exactly crying but, when Snatcher moved a bit to look at her, guilt was all over her face. She was very close to join her best friend’s cries, her voice trembling when she spoke again: “I’m sorry, I was mad! Bow told me to go back, but I didn’t want to listen! I’m so sorry!”

Snatcher’s surprise and astonishment stopped his sobs, and his eyes glanced between the two kids. He was about to try and push them away, wanting to keep some dignity, but then another voice made him freeze completely.

-“Hey, kids? What are you doing?” it asked, with a confused tone: “Who’s that guy?”

It was a subconite, a few feet away from them. The minion hadn’t caught a good sight of Snatcher’s face yet and thus hadn’t recognized him. The ghost felt the kids freeze just like him, staring at the little being as it was walking closer and closer.

This was going to be so awful.

Snatcher was not ready. He was not ready for this at all. As he heard the subconite getting closer and closer, he pushed his head on the side, shutting his eyes. How was he going to explain any of this? How would his minions react at how pathetic he was right now? He didn’t want to be laughed at, he didn’t want to be pitied at… He wanted to be feared. And, as of now, the ghost would certainly not intimidate anyone, especially with how miserable he was being.

He heard the footsteps stopping next to him and the minion’s voice forced him to come back to reality and to deal with this whole situation.

-“… Boss?” they asked, clear confusion and astonishment audible in their intonation. The ghost felt the kids letting go of him and, if the context was better, he would have felt grateful for that. But at the moment, he was just very nervous and very anxious at the imminent conversation with his minion. Snatcher didn’t want to do that right now, he was already suffering so much because of this stupid body… And now he had to deal with this too?

He didn’t even want to imagine what it would be like, showing himself like this to Moonjumper… He instantly tried to push that thought away, really not wanting to deal with that right now. It was enough at it was currently.

Eventually, the spirit turned his head towards his minion, slowly, very slowly. His body was shaking again, but whether it was out of fear or out of pain, he couldn’t tell. Everything was just so mixed up and his mind wasn’t able to tell what was what anymore. His eyes met the “face” of the little being. The latter made a few steps backwards as his suspicions had been confirmed by seeing the spirit’s face, red and full of tears.

-“It’s… It’s really you,” they murmured, not believing what they were seeing: “What happened?”

Their tone and gestures were full of concern and they got closer again. Any person new to Subcon and its dark atmosphere would have trouble deciphering the emotions showed by the minions, since they had no face to show them directly, but… For Snatcher, it was all very clear. He knew much more about them than what he liked to show. In that particular case, the way the little being was acting, the way they moved, the way they spoke, the way they were fidgeting… Those were all perfectly clear signs for the ghost.

Snatcher frowned, quickly drying his tears on his sleeves. Not that he had much dignity left, anyway.

-“Please don’t tell anyone for now,” he asked, looking at them gravely. He wasn’t presentable and if the other minions saw him like this… They would most likely panic, considering he was their only way of keeping Subcon safe and warm.

The subconite remained motionless, visibly hesitant and perplexed, and a brief silence settled between them. The hatted child was the one to break it, in order to explain what had happened to the clueless servant:

-“He… He broke a Time Piece,” she added, glancing between Snatcher and his minions. Her best friend started to pat his back again, making him wince and move away from the touch. She still put her hand back on him, trying to comfort him. The subconite didn’t miss his refusal for contact and approached the ghost, clearly more worried than before:

-“Are you okay, Boss? Are you hurt?” they questioned, examining the shade’s body, looking for any possible injuries. Well, his chin was bruised, just like his body probably was because of his earlier falls… But pain was just one of the many, many unwanted sensations Snatcher was currently feeling.

-“Of course I am!” he assured, still determined not to look more miserable than he already was. He straightened up, trying very hard not to grimace for the tenth time as he did so. It would be lying to say that he was fine. He definitely was not. Thus, he added, with a low voice: “Well, it’s just… Kind of oversensitive.”

The subconite fell silent for a few seconds, watching the kids still trying to rub his shoulders in order to comfort him. A “look” of realization appeared on their inexistent features and they ran to the kids, snapping their hands away sharply.

-“Stop that!” they scolded, clearly angry, then gestured to the ghost, who was surprised by the sudden movement next to him: “He just said he didn’t like to be touched!”

The kids stepped away, glancing at each other then to the minion, confused.

-“He… He didn’t-” started the bow-wearing kid, not understanding what it was all about. Her older friend looked just the same, not getting what the subconite was trying to say to them. The latter seemed to grow even more irritated at their oblivious attitude. They tilted their head on the side, as if they were rolling their eyes.

-“Can’t you see?!” they rose the tone of their voice, absolutely livid: “The Boss has been dead for years! Dead people can’t feel anything at all! How would you feel if you had to experience sensing things all of a sudden?!”

The kids’ expression crumpled as they seemed to understand what the other was trying to explain. Soon, new tears appeared in their eyes and they started to sob, silently at first, but louder and louder as seconds passed. Snatcher’s eyes widened at the sight and he froze, not knowing what to do or what to say. The sound of their cries rang in the spirit’s head, as if someone was hitting his brain with a bat, repeatedly. He closed his eyes and extended a trembling hand in their direction, ready to do anything so it would just stop:

-“It’s fine, it’s fine! Stop crying, for the love of God!” he pleaded, clenching his teeth and holding his head with his free hand. But apparently, it was the wrong thing to do, as the little girls began to cry louder, apologizing:

-“We’re sorry, Snatcher!” stuttered the hatted brat, sniffing loudly. Her younger friend was sobbing even louder, covering her face with her hands. The ghost could hear the latter’s voice through her fingers, with an intonation full of guilt:

-“I’m sorry for touching you!” she sputtered, her shoulders moving up and down as she continued crying: “I didn’t think it would hurt you!”

The shade couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, as the voice of the little girls were killing him. He felt like he was about to faint if it continued any longer. However, he heard the minion shushing them and a wave of relief engulfed him.

-“Shhh, shhh!” they reprimanded the kids, putting his finger in front of his cloak, as if he had a mouth: “You’re making it worse!”

This seemed to be enough to calm the children down and the spirit heard them trying to hold back their sobs. Snatcher’s head felt much better, not hearing the high-pitched voice of the two brats crying so loudly. Little by little, the shade reopened his eyes and gave a weak nod to his minion, thanking him for his intervention. The little being gave him a thumb up with his mitten-like hand:

-“Anytime, Boss.”

The shade took a deep breath and looked at their surroundings. No one had seemed to notice them yet, which was a good thing. It would only bring even more trouble… Next to the subconite, the little girls stood silently, drying up their tears on their sleeves. Just like him, their faces were red and puffy, their nose clogged up as well. At least, they were being calm, now… It was still something.

-“Okay… Okay,” he said to himself, trying to pull himself together. Then, he turned to the trio in front of him: “I might find a cure to this if I manage to go to my tree,” he explained, voice full of determination.

The bow-wearing kid frowned and interjected with visible worry on her face:

-“But are you…” she was hesitant to continue and gestured to his legs, wincing. The hatted brat finished her sentence for her, less afraid of hurting his feelings, apparently:

-“Can you even walk?”

Snatcher couldn’t say he hadn’t expected that question. He knew very well that walking on his own would be completely impossible, considering how he wasn’t even able to move his legs correctly. Each time he tried to use them, they just moved differently than what he was trying to do. Standing up with those wouldn’t work.

He had quite a few proofs of that earlier.

He knitted his brow, absolutely loathing the very idea of pronouncing his next words:

-“Not on my own,” he admitted, fighting his pride as much as possible as he kept going, still very much decided: “But you’re going to help me to walk.”

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Welp, things are going to get quite complicated, hehehehe. Hope you've liked this chapter and that you'll enjoy the next ones as well !

Take care, everyone !

=> Chapter 03

#A Hat In Time #ahit #being human #BH #hat kid #bow kid #snatcher #fanfiction #doodledrawsthings #oth #oh the humanity au

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wakasagayhime · 5 years

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very long, very personal post

tldr, im still not drawing but here’s a detailed account of everything that’s happened in case anyone is confused or misinformed

alright. let me start out by saying i’m not going back to art just yet. it still hurts to do anything art related and i’m still trying to find a way to heal from all of this. i need some kind of professional help first, and i don’t know how long it’ll take afterwards for me to begin feeling like myself again. i don’t even know if i’ll be able to get any kind of professional help at the moment; my university’s counseling center told me, in short, that i’m so mentally ill that their services would not be enough for me and i’d have to look elsewhere (which is reasonable, tbh, they’re almost always completely booked so it’s difficult to actually even talk to someone there in the first place, i only got to talk to them to begin with because i nearly killed myself one night after having the most intense panic attack of my life where i felt like i was actually in the process of dying) and as if that weren’t enough, if you follow me on twitter you’d know that my mom finally left my stepdad, but this means that we no longer really have a home to call our own and are now living with some of my mom’s friends. on the bright side, miso is a lot freer and gets to explore the house as he pleases, but on the downside money is tight and my mom is trying her best to find a place to live while working two jobs and trying to help pay for my tuition. long story short, i want some kind of professional help badly, but all the bullshit that’s been happening in my life makes that difficult.

anyway, i understand that i’ve worried a lot of people through all of this, and i’m sorry. i truly, genuinely am sorry for everything that’s been going on. i blame a lot of it on myself not being strong enough. if i were stronger, i wouldn’t care about some stupid internet trolls, or some random grown man in florida stalking all my social media. if i were stronger, i could take my life back. i wouldn’t feel the need to constantly contemplate suicide, or to torture my own body by starving because of my physical form feeling like the only thing i have left to be in control of. if i had only been stronger, like my old stupidly foolish overconfident 16 year old self who got into fucking STEVEN UNIVERSE DISCOURSE of all things, maybe i wouldn’t care. even when it first happened to me, after the initial shock and hiatus, i was pretty much back to normal almost instantly. but this kind of trauma is sneaky and will gradually eat away at you more and more while you pretend to be ok, and then eventually you reach a breaking point and it’s taken over your life. that’s why i’m still obsessing over that day two years later. that’s why i can’t be left alone on december 13th this year, or else i know for a fact i will harm myself in some way. (don’t worry about that though, burger is going to hang out with me that day and i’ll be fine.) still, even though i keep telling myself my past self was stronger, i do know that she really wasn’t. she was still struggling with depression, anxiety, and self harm issues. maybe it just manifested differently for a while. maybe she felt unstoppable at some point in time because she finally found a girlfriend and got a cat. i got into so many fights that weren’t worth my time or energy at all, and part of me wishes i could be that confident again, but i also know that was my downfall to begin with.

i have followers who haven’t been around for longer than a year or maybe less than two, so i might as well give everyone a true, thorough rundown of what happened leading up to that day, the day of, and after.

i’m sure a lot of you who are worried about me at the moment have seen the recent callout for colboh and his involvement in what happened. i’ll be honest--i don’t know the full extent of his involvement, and i want to believe his foolishness ends at not leaving artists who have blocked him alone and uploading their shit to booru sites when they explicitly state not to. so let’s just start there. i honestly don’t remember if it was before or after i first blocked him, but he uploaded one of my NSFW drawings to danbooru when i first shared my NSFW blog. (PROTIP: if you’re a minor, don’t share your NSFW art with anyone. don’t care if you’re 17, i was about to turn 17 myself. it will bite you in the ass. as such, some of this is my fault.) i quickly contacted danbooru asking them to delete it, and they did--but that artwork subsequently ended up on gelbooru as well, and i was unsuccessful in my efforts to remove my art from there.

fast forward to december 13th, 2016. it was a normal morning. i was getting ready for school, but also being dumb and lazing around in bed browsing tumblr. i saw a post from a blog that shares Funny 4chan Screencaps. my art was in it. the art was of a very muscular yuugi, a drawing i was proud of, especially in how much gay energy i thought it radiated--but this drawing was being used in one of those typical “here’s a touhou, i wanna fuck her! am i right guys? let’s talk about how badly we want to fuck her” threads. seeing my art used for this was appalling. my first mistake was reblogging the post and saying how it was wrong, and how my art shouldn’t ever be used for such a purpose. my second mistake was making a text post AND tweets expressing my disgust at the situation, thinking no one who frequented /jp/ would ever see, sure that it would be a big waste of their time to concern themselves with some random dumb “”sjw”” artist. i also probably shouldn’t have specifically called them “gross neckbeards,” in doing so i absolutely struck a nerve with basement dwellers everywhere. i got to school and during my second period class, suddenly felt a strange urge to look at /jp/. why i did that, i still don’t really know. maybe i was expecting hate. maybe i was trying to see if they used my art for something gross again. i don’t know. either way, that moment changed everything forever. i saw the screencap of my tweets posted for everyone in their circlejerk to see. even worse--i looked in the thread, and someone had also posted the NSFW art colboh had uploaded to danbooru, mocking it and calling me a hypocrite for drawing two girls having sex while also saying i don’t like my art being used for those kinds of threads. this is what truly ignited the amount of hate i saw directed towards me in the threads. i got called a bitch, a drama whore, got told to kill myself, and in one reply etched into my mind forever, someone said something along the lines of “we should all call her local gang and have them rape her, she just needs a good dicking.” there were multiple threads, too; i don’t know how many, but there was another one about me after the first one was deleted, in which someone edited a typical fat balding NTR hentai doujin style man into art i made of kagerou nosebleeding at wakasagihime. more disparaging comments were made. in both threads, people expressed their hatred and dislike of my art, some calling it garbage, some just saying it’s “bad,” etc. some people said the threads were unnecessary and rude, but they were a kind few in a cesspool of violence.

i don’t know who started these threads. i can’t assume anything about anyone, but whoever did this was definitely looking through all my social media out of bitterness and hatred, or perhaps even following me on both my tumblr and twitter considering the timing of the threads immediately after i complained. it eats at me that i most likely will never know who did this to me. i’ll never know who hated me so much that they decided to completely destroy my self esteem. if whoever it is who did all of this is reading this and feels any ounce of remorse, i’m begging them to reveal themselves and why they did it, but i know the chances of that happening are incredibly slim. someone, i can’t remember who, maybe it was queenly, told me they hope someday i reach a point where i don’t have to worry about that because i won’t care in general, but i still don’t know if i’ll ever reach a point where i stop caring about all of this.

like i mentioned earlier, after this all first happened, i was destroyed. the next day, my school’s GSA happened to have a vote for whose art would be on the club t-shirts, mine or someone else’s. mine lost. i broke down completely--anywhere i went, i wasn’t good enough, not for anyone. for days, there was a constant feeling of horror and fear in my chest, something i’ve only ever felt so intensely when one of these threads resurfaces or i suddenly relive my trauma due to other things triggering me. i took a hiatus that lasted a few weeks, i believe i came back sometime before the new year. i thought i was ok, and i pretended like i could go back to being myself. but as time went on, and i continued living with the weight of that day on my back, i became weaker and weaker. i stopped drawing as frequently as i used to. my final year of high school started and i ended up falling into such a deep depression that i constantly skipped school and eventually attempted suicide in november 2017. the suicide note i wrote cites that day as being one of the main things leading me to my decision, telling whoever did this to me that i hoped in my passing they’d have to live knowing what they did to me. my attempt only failed because i swore to take every pill left in the bottle and there were only four pills. had it been full, i’m not really sure what would have happened. i was sent to a mental institute afterwards for a week. being there was the absolute definition of hell. i was alone. i cried myself to sleep every night. they claimed to be a place where people were improved and got help, but i did not get any help at all. they basically imprisoned me for trying to kill myself. when i got out, i was only glad to be alive because i just wanted to be able to talk to my friends, my family, and my girlfriend again. it still shocks me that i was able to graduate from high school considering how much school i skipped before and after my suicide attempt.

sometime before that school year ended, i became extremely upset one afternoon and decided to run away from home. i had what happened to me and what was said about me that day running through my head. i tweeted that i hoped maybe in running away i’d end up being raped like they wanted, like how i deserved. someone who i considered a friend replied to this with, “fuck you.” after all of this was taken care of and i was safe at home, i responded that i was sorry, that i wasn’t thinking right when i made the tweet. she responded that i was, and blocked me. i tried to explain that i said what i did because of the threads about me on /jp/ and the one response threatening rape, but this was disregarded and, seemingly, ignored. a few days later, the former friend in question started sending me anon hate on tumblr, asking me why i want attention so badly, accusing me of making light of actual rape victims by saying such a thing. i explained myself, but to no avail. i blocked her on tumblr, and left it at that. but then, at the end of the school year, when i was proud of myself for finally getting through high school without killing myself or failing or anything, i stumbled upon the second thread. the date the thread was created lined up exactly with the time between me running away from home and me receiving anon hate. she can try to act like she didn’t make the thread all she wants, but i’m not an idiot. the replies were also eerily similar--people in the replies remembered me, a year and a half after the original thread. some replies mentioned me having attempted suicide months before. some mentioned my NSFW art again. i had a massive breakdown and nearly drowned myself in the pond down the road. it was a wet, rainy night, and i sat on a bench by the pond sobbing loudly, trying to find some way to want to keep living. but i couldn’t. i might have gone through with it if it hadn’t been for burger coming and talking to me and giving me a ride home.

entering college, i thought things would be easier. in a way, they are. i have more freedom with classes. this semester, i attended almost all of my classes, almost every day, just with the exception of me being sick some days and me accidentally oversleeping once, and then one day when i just didn’t feel like it. but things continued to get worse for me--i developed an eating disorder for many reasons, one being the time i spent a year prior depressed caused me to gain a significant amount of weight, and the other being i had sworn off self harm in the form of cutting. i found that i was able to get the same gratification from starving myself. at one point, it turned into a game of sorts, where i tried to see how long i could go without eating anything. my record was a little over 72 hours. being constantly hungry or in pain this way felt like something i deserved in a way, but also something to distract me from the pain of realizing i was losing my love for art. i was in denial about it for months. i tried to keep drawing, but everything i drew upset me, saddened me, and even angered me. i looked at anything i made and only felt disgust. it was the one thing i used to love doing more than anything, and now i only felt shame.

in november, i acknowledged this and decided to quit for good. recently, i discovered colboh had uploaded more of my NSFW art to gelbooru, even though i specifically stated on my blog to never upload my NSFW art to image sharing sites, specifically right after he uploaded my art the first time. by the time i found this, i had already sworn off art for good, but looking at the comments on my art on gelbooru (and rule 34--i guess they’re connected upload-wise like danbooru?) filled me with so much sadness and shame, not because they criticized my art, but because they said horrible things about my depiction of kagerou. for those who don’t know, i headcanon kagerou as a trans woman, and one thing i do not regret about my time as an artist is how that depiction has helped numerous trans women feel good about themselves and their bodies. seeing so many disgusting comments deliberately misgendering her and making other transphobic remarks hurt me on a completely new level. my trans friends have been such a source of strength for me through all of this and seeing that made me feel disgusted, especially with myself. i felt like i had failed them. i had made so many trans women happy, only to see a man i blocked two years ago had uploaded my art to porn sites, tagging it with dehumanizing words like “f*ta” that i specifically tell people never to refer to my art with, displaying that art for the exact same crowds of people that ruined everything december 13th 2016 to continue to pick apart. one comment even told me to kill myself, effectively bringing back every memory of that day.

speaking of that, another thing i want to touch on now that i’m up to speed with the details of everything that’s happened related to the original threads two years ago, is kagerou. i’m positive you all know that i really love kagerou imaizumi, and that she’s my favorite touhou character. it’s embarrassing to say, but she’s brought me so much comfort through all of this. sometimes if i’m sad, i’ll imagine her giving me a big hug, or i’ll look at cute pictures i have saved of her, or something along those lines. it’s pretty cringy for a fictional character to make me happy, i know, but i’ve grown so attached to her and she really means a lot to me. and another thing that made me want to swear off art is because she’s loved by so many others that i don’t think my depictions of her do her any good. i’m constantly compared to other artists, and it’s never good. even in the threads, i’m told i should be more like those other artists and these things wouldn’t happen to me. i am not allowed to love kagerou imaizumi. i draw her as a hairy trans lesbian, and that disgusts people. hell, the fact that i draw lesbians in general disgusts people, which sure fucking sucks because i constantly hate myself for not being attracted to men and being able to draw happy lesbians made me feel better about myself. but i’ve ruined kagerou for so many people, especially with my stupid kagewaka bullshit. maybe that’s why those artists unfollowed me. maybe it’s a combination of that and my constant breakdowns becoming far too annoying. i think all the popular artists who used to like me and then unfollowed/softblocked me are really glad to see that i’ve given up. and that’s something else that saddens me too--even as an artist, in my own community of touhou artists, i often feel like i’m lesser, and that i don’t belong. maybe it’s because i’m so foolishly outspoken about my opinions that they dislike me. maybe it’s because i’m a woman, and a lesbian at that. i don’t really know why they hate me so much. i wish i could belong somewhere.

and i think that’s what it all boils down to in the end. i’ve lost all sense of belonging. when i was 14 and people started noticing my art for the first time, i finally felt like i had something. like i belonged somewhere. after being bullied through middle school and having to deal with abusive friends and an abusive dad, it meant the world to me that i finally had something. but it didn’t last long at all. it all came crashing down, not just because of others, but because of me. i was the one who was cocky, getting into fights that weren’t worth it. i was the one who provoked people and made them hate me. i was the one who complained about /jp/ posting my art in their threads. i know people want to believe that i’m a saint, but i’m not. i have myself to blame too. i at least want everyone to understand this, above all else. there was so much i could have done differently to prevent this all from happening, but i didn’t. i was stupid and naive. i was a massive fucking idiot, and now look where i am. i lost everything. i thought i had friends, i lost them. i thought i loved art, i lost that. i thought other really talented nice people liked me, i even lost that. all i have now is an empty shell of my former self. i don’t know what to do with it. i don’t know how i’m going to rebuild myself. it’s so painful to have to keep living like this. i don’t know if there’s any fixing me at this point. i’ve lost so much, i feel permanently broken.

but despite all of that, despite everything i’ve been through, i still receive so much love and support from my followers and friends and it means so much to me. it means the world to me and has kept me going through all of this. knowing that people care about me and want to see me get better and improve makes me want to try to fix myself even if i am broken beyond repair. i just want to thank you all for being that source of strength for me. these past few years have been so hard for me and time and time again i still get love and encouragement from so many people. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. there is nothing more precious to me than those moments when i feel like i do truly belong, when i feel loved, when i feel like i’m not alone after all. for those moments, i’ll keep trying. even if these threads keep continuing and breaking me further, i’ll keep trying. even if every last artist in this fandom comes to hate me and my shitty art, i’ll keep trying. it’s still painful to draw right now and i have a long way to go before i can share art with anyone again, but for you all, i’m going to keep trying my best. at the end of the day, i know everyone’s encouragement and love is worth far more than hate threads urging me to kill myself.

i’m sorry how long and personal and unnecessary this is, but i felt like i had to set things straight. if you read all of this, i applaud you. if you just kinda skimmed through to read the last paragraph, i also appreciate it. again, thank you.

#glub glub #suicide //#self harm //#disordered eating //#rape //

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hedgewizardly · 5 years

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So I'm finally going to be able to give D&D a go with a couple of friends from work. As the backstory for my character (visually based somewhat on Spellthief Lux: see below) I ended up writing this out which turned out a lot longer than I expected. I'm posting it here more for me than anyone else, but maybe someone will be interested, who knows! 😁

Her name is Azurael (Azrael + Uriel + Azure), and she is an Aasimar Radiant Soul Sorcerer (means I get cleric spells, wings, and glowing eyes)

Azurael grew up in a temple dedicated to Mount Celestia (or as close to whatever physical world manifestation there may be), assistant to- and raised by- the head librarian.

She grew up surrounded by books, learning of magic and spells and trying to get a better understanding of her own magic coursing through her veins. With those, she also absorbed books of heroes and saviours and fell in love with the ideas of good and righteousness and saving people and protecting others. Additionally of course were history books, and journals, accounts of tragedies and real life tyrants and struggles of good and innocent people. Gross injustice.

Azurael always asked why the bad was so frequently allowed to prevail and go unpunished, and why innocents had to suffer without help or mercy. The head librarian would simply always explain that this was how the stories of the realm went. That they couldn't all simply have happy endings like in the fairy tales. Azurael asked if she could go out and try to help people with the magic she possessed and the knowledge she learned, but the librarian forbade it, claiming she was not to meddle with mortal affairs, and that they should live their lives themselves and receive whatever fate the gods saw fit. Azurael could never grow to accept this, and one day upon raising the subject of leaving once, just to get a taste of helping the village nearby, the librarian bellowed with frustration that she could never leave the temple grounds, or she would not have a home when she returned.

One night, Azurael was watching the village in the distance through a telescope of the library's astronomy tower, as she so frequently did with longing, and saw to her horror that houses were being set ablaze, and families were fleeing in terror. Azurael gathered her things- including a backpack of survival essentials she had brought together by reading adventurer books, and asking the few monks who left the temple to gradually sneak back the contents- unfurled her holy wings, and tore down towards the village.

On arrival, Azurael did her absolute best to bring the blaze to an end with her magic, when she discovered the source- a gang of bandits who were terrorising the villagers. With wings spread out and eyes glowing with a newfound rage- she recited one of her favourite lines in a book and ordered the bandits to never return. Most of the younger bandits fled in fear, despite the barking of the stocky leader- a fearsome orc. The orc leader turned to face Azure, and bellowed in anger. Azure recognised his species from her books, and glancing towards the temple on the lip of the nearby mountain, she felt knowledge flowing to her. Tasting the sparks dancing across her tongue, Azurael felt her own muscles work almost automatically in sounding out the gutteral words in perfect Orcish; "Leave. This. Place."

The orc leader, confused on several of the limited levels his brain could capably process, roared and reared up like a cornered beast, before launching into full sprint towards the angelic figure. Azure panicked, and in a surge of adrenaline, channeled the emotions forth, sending powerful blue lightning arcing towards the orc, shocking him for longer than she'd even imagined should be possible. A roll of thunder echoed across the valley, breaking her out of the panic stricken focus and bringing the flow of energy from her fingertips to an abrupt halt. The orc slumped to the ground with an enormous meaty thud and a sickening crack.

Silence passed through the cold, dimly lit streets. Whispers passed from unfocused figures hiding in doorways and alleyways as Azurael drank in the scene, sparkles only now fading from the corners of her vision. She began to understand how the scene might have looked, and feared that they may perceive her as just another threat to the villagers and their homes.

Hearing a few grunts of pain nearby, she turned and saw a man holding his hand around a wound caused by one of the bandit's knives, while his fearful family tried to comfort him with uncertain trepidation.

Azurael drew in her wings and approached them carefully. With a deliberately soft voice, she introduced herself and asked politely if she could try to help the man. With a little pursuasion, they accepted her help. She carefully removed the knife, and calling upon her memory on the theory of healing spells- charms she had previously only been able to test on papercuts in the suffocating safety of the temple, she laid her healing hands on the open wound and felt the power which had earlier threatened to tear apart a huge living creature, gently knit together the tissue and regenerate some of the lost blood inside him.

Azurael worked tirelessly until the early hours of the morning, healing the ailed and attempting to repair some of the damage caused in the attack. She felt the appreciation and awe from the gathering crowds and drank it into her soul. Was this how the heroes of her books felt all the time? To have purpose, to be able to help restore balance in the face of such injustice? She surveyed the village and recounted her handiwork of the evening. Her eyes lingered sickeningly on the large, leather clad and charred body which was only now being dragged away by some work horses. With a deep breath, she turned on heel and sprinted back towards the mountain, excitement brimming back up inside her.

For millennia the library had archived stories to share with the monks of the library and very rare, special visitors, and for the first time, Azurael would finally be able to bring a brand new story into its walls. One that weren't other people's for her to envy, but her own.

Skidding around the last bend of the winding path, past the huge boulder she had come to know well as the marker between her world and the outside, Azurael's body reacted before her mind could quite catch up and her arms pinwheeled as she tried to draw to a halt- something her wings were more than used to rescuing her from in a hurry- but found no resistance from her back.

After pulling herself up from the ground in a daze, she looked around in confusion, surveying the area frantically. The path she followed stopped here.. she couldn't have gotten the wrong one, could she? She inspected the boulder on the corner of the path, running her fingers across its smooth surface, resting upon a small carving she had created in her younger days. This was definitely the place. But nothing was here any more..?

As the head librarian's last words to her rang in her mind, a gentle breeze blew across her fingers over the rock, and the carving peeled away in a golden sand which faded with the wind.

In the eerie silence of the mountain wind, Azurael attempted to process a flurry of intense emotions and figure out what she could do, how she might get home, or if, indeed, she may find a home out in the world. She remembered the rush of appreciation from helping all those people at the village, and she set out back down the mountain, in search of home, belonging, and purpose.

#p #d&d #azurael

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pimientos-especiales · 5 years

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So I was on this website trying to print out a bread recipe, and this article caught my attention

SAY NO TO NUTELLA, IT IS POISONING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN

I’m like, oh boy, this oughtta be good. IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.

In order to protect our kids from the harmful GMO foods, we all must stand and say one large and loud NO. These foods are even advertised as healthy ones.

Yeah the literal decades that GMOs have been around with absolutely no evidence of harmful side effects are like... whatever. And yeah bitch, corn IS healthy, GMO or not (fun fact, all corn is technically genetically modified. We’ve modified it so much over the millennia that the kind we eat can’t grow on its own anymore. Also it used to look more like a pretzel stick before all our genetic modifications.

Image source: http://thescientistgardener.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-teosinte-lost-its-shell.html

People are convinced by the intensive advertising that Nutella is healthy for our kids, but the bitter truth is that it cannot be even listed in the group of healthy foods.

All right. I mean it’s a nut spread, so yeah, it’s not on my list of most healthy foods.

In fact, all the ingredients contained in Nutella aren’t harmful or GMOs, but the product will be harmful with only one bad ingredient.

[citation needed]

You should know that there are four harmful substances included in Nutella.

The Dangers of Nutella:

Oh boy here we go!

Soy

The Asian people will disagree with this statement because the soy is part of their diet for centuries. Actually, they consume small amounts of naturally grown soybeans, opposite of the western civilizations today that eat artificial soy in pretty big quantities.

Fun fact: Literally nothing in this article has any sort of source backing up any of these claims.

Now I know, from using my eyes, that in the U.S. we do in fact have actual soybeans on the market. I’ve eaten them many times. What is artificial soy? They don’t say.

Nutella contains soy lecithin which is dangerous for the human’s health.

Was this written by a robot? “The human’s health” who talks like that?

Soy lecithin is apparently produced from soybean oil, so... not artificial. It’s literally produced by actual soybeans. It takes some science to get it out, but it’s a byproduct of soybeans, and not like... fake soybeans. Also the first result in my search bar says soy lecithin is widely used even in health food stores. It’s a pretty neat article, it lays out the pros and cons of soy lecithin, pointing out there’s more benefits than risks. Also it’s full of sources to external websites! https://draxe.com/what-is-soy-lecithin/

It is connected with thyroid depression, uncontrolled weight gain, late menstruation, fatigue, premature entry into puberty and breast cancer.

Late menstruation AND early puberty, at the same time? Also as a woman, I wouldn’t complain about starting my period later than it did. Actually, don’t we have a problem in this country with girls starting puberty a little too early? Like, when they’re younger than 10? From the hormones they were putting in cow milk? This website, written by an author about a book someone else wrote, talks about the declining age for the start of menstruation and puberty: http://www.cwhn.ca/en/node/39365

(see, it’s not that hard to get sources, even when you’re cherry-picking to back up your own opinion)

Also that article I linked to earlier (the draxe) one says soy lecithin may PREVENT cancer, lower cholesterol, relieves menopause symptoms, and help deal with stress. So basically the article that has sources is saying the opposite of the one without sources. HM.

I’ll give them the thyroid thing, the thyroid is dumb and sensitive as shit, it probably does wig out over soy lecithin.

Sugar

Nutella contains derived from GMO sugar beef

what

which is inexpensive and filled with pesticides and altered sugar that our body cannot recognize.

Okay there’s no such thing as “sugar beef”. What are you talking about?? Okay according to Nutella, they have BEET SUGAR, which is different from sugar beef (which sounds like a weird nickname you’d give your hung husband). Pretty much every food has pesticides on it. That’s why GMOs are so popular, they breed stuff into them so they’ll naturally repel bugs and won’t be covered in pesticides! Oh, oops. And golly, the Nutella website says their beet sugar/sugar cane is non-GMO. Talk about a coincidence!

And aren’t beets a root vegetable? How much pesticides would be on the sugar extracted from a root vegetable?

I’ll say it again, it is very cheap. These sugars are considered as neurotoxins since they can penetrate the blood brain barrier which results with elimination of the brain cells. They are also related with ailments such as ADHD, ADD, autism, migraine, anxiety, depression, etc.

Yeah, companies like it when things are cheap to harvest and produce, because people don’t like buying expensive food. GOLLY.

Also considering scientists still have no idea what causes autism, [x] doubt. All right, I’ll give that it does make sense to link neurotoxins with neurological impairments. The blood-brain barrier works to prevent toxins from reaching the brain. It’s just, you know, if there’s a lot of that stuff in your blood, it’ll get to your brain.

I’m not convinced, however, that sugar from beet roots are neurotoxins.

Also, manganese is a neurotoxin but also there’s a Daily Recommended Value for adults and children to consume it. So, neurotoxins on their own aren’t bad for you. If you had way over the daily recommended value like every day, that would be bad.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manganese#Biological_role That article has like 200 sources on it!

ALSO if you want to talk about Nutella being bad, just point out that it has a lot of sugar in it. If it was healthy, it wouldn’t have sugar. Or at least, not as much sugar. The end.

Skim Milk

You can see a green meadows and happy cows on every milk package, which is an advertising trick of course.

Where the hell are you shopping that it’s just a label that says “SKIM”?

The milk inside is not a skim milk, but pus filled milk of sick cows that were exposed on GMO including corn, antibiotics and many other things that are meant to decrease the costs.

“Decrease the costs” of WHAT? You not only have no sources, but you don’t elaborate on what you’re talking about!

Milk is NOT pus-filled. Food sellers don’t want their food to be gross. That’s just logic.

I brought up the cows on hormones thing, I think places are getting better about not pumping their cows full of stuff, but okay, I’ll give you that one, crazy lady.

“many other things” [citation needed][what things?]

At the end the resulting product is odorless milk that contains powdered milk. Powdered milk contains the most dangerous type of bad cholesterol.

Okay so according to Nutella, they used skimmed milk powder. Which makes sense, since it’s not a dairy product, that there wouldn’t be FRESH MILK but rather, powder.

The lady who wrote this is one of those judgmental bitches who complains about women formula-feeding their babies, I’m sure. So, powdered milk is just milk that’s evaporated, pretty much. Because dry stuff has a longer shelf life than wet. Apparently the powdering process makes the cholesterol really concentrated, but there’s a lot of debate about whether it’s bad or not.

Here’s an article about soy milk. It’s not a super professional source, but it’s well-written, at least. https://www.organicfacts.net/skim-milk.html

Vanillin

The label of every vanillin says that it doesn’t include artificial colors, but the vanillin itself is an artificial flavor.

This part is honestly what prompted this post. Just read it again. You want to me to take your scare-mongering seriously and you say that?

Also here’s the Nutella page on vanillin

So, uh, they flatout say that their vanillin is synthetic. The nutritional label says the vanillin they use is an artificial flavor. What it also says is “contaisn no artificial colors”. So this dumbass is accusing Nutella of lying because they can’t read a label or think artificial colors and flavors are the same thing.

Nutella also goes on to explain, in a way that matches what I’d already read, that although vanillin is naturally produced by vanilla pods, they can’t get enough vanillin just that way, so they synthesize some of it. Vanilla is so hard to harvest, because you get like no flavor even out of a ton of beans, so that’s why natural vanilla is so much more expensive than vanilla extract.

It is able to trick our brain and make you feel the true vanilla flavor.

Natural vanillin smells like vanilla, so... okay.

The brain is easily tricked.

The truest thing this article has said.

Vanillin is a neurotoxin which is capable to kill the brain cells.

Oh here we go again.

In addition, vanillin makes us addictive

you mean addicted? You got paid to write this article!

while connecting the receptors in the brain and releasing serotonin, the hormone of happiness.

Oh no, this food makes you feel happy when you eat it! Throw it away! If only mankind were capable of self-control and could just stop eating something sometimes if they realize they’ve had too much of it today! Everyone should be sad all the time always!

Also, anyone notice that these terrible side effects are all opposite to each other? One of them causes depression but another causes happiness. Do they not balance each other out? Or is it some sinister thing like first the sugar makes you depressed, then the vanilla makes you happy, so you think you need to keep buying the Nutella to keep yourself happy because the Nutella is making you depressed? And then you’re broke and homeless because you spent all your money on Nutella.

Also, apparently there’s like 0.08 g of vanillin per 400g container of Nutella. So that’s 0.0002%. For 400 g. A serving size is about 37 g, so that’s 0.0074g of vanillin per serving. So, negligible. THE HORROR.

It is produced in China petroleum-based factories which makes this country one of the largest producers of vanillin in the world.

I mean it’s nit-picking, but what a poorly-constructed sentence.

China is one of the largest producers of pretty much everything. It’s a large country and companies know they can get really cheap labor from there.

I hope these facts

“that I couldn’t be bothered to provide ONE source for”

are enough for you to decide to throw away these neurotoxins, GMO sugar, cheap and artificial vanilla and say one big, decisive NO to Nutella.

Don’t Forget To Share With Your Friends And Family On Facebook, As You Might Help Someone In Need!

Yeah if I know anyone in need I’ll forward them this article. Sure they’re penniless and homeless because of all the Nutella they bought, but at least they’ll have a printout of this article to use for firewood!

Also I can’t believe they didn’t mention palm oil! Now, Nutella says their palm oil is ethically harvested and sustainable and isn’t contributing to deforestation, but if you’re going to write an article full of unsourced half-truths anyway, why not bring that up?

Here’s the Nutella website that I referenced a few times: https://www.nutella.com/en/us/inside-the-jar1 Sources also came from Wikipedia, because it was sometimes the only source I could find that had professional sources on it and weren’t like “hippiebullshit.org” websites.

I just really liked that even the organic/healthy eating websites were contradicting this person. Also, shockingly, the article was closed for comments!

Now I’m no expert, but Nutella has sugar and cocoa in it, so just from that I would assume it’s not actually the health food Nutella pretends it is. But I think it’s going to be among the least of your worries when it comes to food that may kill you.

#long post #the gmos are poisoning our water supply!

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anxiousbich · 6 years

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Movie Night (Milevill)

Prompt: Imagine your OT3 all trying to sit on a two-seater sofa at once to watch a film, and one of them eventually giving up and just lying across the laps of the other two. Source

Pairing: Will/Eleven/Mike, Mike/Eleven, Mike/Will, Will/Eleven

Note: You could view this as platonic Will/Eleven, but I do not. I am still 100% about gay Will but I also headcanon Eleven as nonbinary (Didn’t really have a chance to expand on that in this lil thing, just thought I’d put that out there.)

Tumblr hates formatting and I hate fixing formatting. So there ya go. This is a weird ass ship name.

Word Count: 1674

Will has been downplaying how much it’s been hurting him to watch his boyfriend and girlfriend be affectionate with one another while Will has been forced to act unaffected. It wasn’t a new act for him, but it had been somehow easier when he had been sure his feelings could only ever be one sided. At least as friends he’d known where he stood and he was fine being a good friend to them, a best friend.

Once they had gotten together, Will was left with a warring sense of happiness, dread, and longing. More longing than when he’d pined from afar. Watching them hold hands and kiss and flirt in public while Will was forced to constantly keep himself in check, even more than when he was simply hiding more than platonic feelings, terrified he’d give them away, and it started to hurt. It was so different knowing what it was like to be a part of that but only able to receive such affections when they were alone together, a rarity that could be counted on one hand. It left him insecure and his heart aching, unable to stop himself from imagining the two only agreeing to let him into the relationship out of pity or their instinctual need to protect him.

But apparently he hadn’t been as subtle as he had thought or… maybe he really wasn’t the only one affected by their forced distance. One day while Will, Mike, and Dustin had been scouring the aisles of their local comic book store, Mike had stepped up next to Will and pretended to search through a box of comics while Will had quietly scanned a comic he couldn’t afford. He had looked over at Mike and gave him a soft smile. Mike not so subtly checked over his shoulder for Dustin who had been futilely bartering with the bored cashier. Will frowned in confusion and Mike leaned in close, warm breath fanning over Will’s skin and sent blood rushing to his cheeks and his palms had grown sweaty. Will had no idea what to expect, but he definitely didn’t expect Mike to say, in a quiet shaky voice, “I think we should tell the Party about us.”

Will had stared at Mike with wide eyes and instinctively checked over his shoulder, but found no one close enough to overhear them. “What?” Will asked in disbelief. Will isn’t sure if it had been excitement or terror that had sent his heart racing at the time. Mike’s fingers had clenched where they rested on the lined up comics, crinkling the plastic slip of one of them and his eyes settled on where Will’s hands were clutching the comic he’d been reading to his chest. Mike’s brows had bowed and his gaze had been so intense it could have set Will’s hands on fire. Will thinks he might have recognized something familiar in his eyes. Mike took a deep breath.

“Me and El talked about it-,” Will had felt a pang, that sense of being left out, “-and we know… we can’t be open in public but… if we tell them, at least we wouldn’t have to hide in front of them, and yeah they might not understand, but their our best friends, they’ll get over it,” Mike rambled, Will was impressed by his ability to still be whispering, then his face had twisted with pain, “And we… we miss you, Will.”

Will had momentarily stopped breathing and he ended having to buy the comic book after the deep creases he’d left in the pages. “Really?” Will breathed. Mike had frowned and risked pressing closer so that Will’s shoulder pressed into Mike’s arm.

“Yeah, of course,” Mike replied, his voice still quiet, “It’s been rough… for both of us, and El has been a little obsessed with going through with it, but I told her we couldn’t just do that without talking to you, so… what do you think?” Will had stared up at Mike’s handsome face and took a lot of self-control not to press a kiss to one the sharp cheek bones that had revealed themselves once his baby fat melted away. In that moment he had imagined his friends turning their backs on them, telling their parents, being ostracized, or worse, by everyone around them, but he also imagines being accepted, being able to hold Mike’s hand or press a kiss to Eleven’s forehead while in the presence of his favorite people without any of them batting an eye. One scenario was much more unlikely than the other, but he ignored the part of him that told him it’s too dangerous.

“Let’s do it,” Will agreed, his voice firm and without hesitation. Mike’s sharp shoulders had still been tense with anxiety but he grinned brightly.

Its movie night for The Party, a tradition that developed ever since the Wheelers finally caved to Mike’s begging and purchased a family VCR for Christmas a few years back. It was a hard tradition to keep up with considering they had so few options at first. Re-watching the same 3 films every other week made it tough, so it was a god send when they were blessed to be one of the few towns in America to have a video rental store pop up. It rapidly became one of the top 5 places to look if you wanted to find group of 15 year olds. It opened them up to a much more pleasant existence where they didn’t have to watch Grease, again.

They alternated who picked what they watched and tonight is Max’s night. Unsurprisingly, she goes for a horror film, “Halloween”. It’s all pretty normal. They go to the store, Lucas and Dustin quietly grumble about Max’s choice like they always do when someone picks something other than sci-fi, they pick some extra snacks, and they go to the Wheeler’s house to make their popcorn and settle in for the movie. Things as usual. But they’re not. Because this is the first movie night where The Party knows about Will, Mike, and El’s relationship.

It’s been a few days since the surprisingly easy conversation. The Party didn’t fully understand, asking question after question, but the accepted. Despite that, Will still feared making his friends uncomfortable, careful with how touchy he was, especially with Mike. El made it clear very quickly that she wasn’t having any of that. The moment they were alone with their friends, she’d take his hand, kissed him, or leaned against him any chance she could like she was making up for lost time, and Will wasn’t unaware of the wigged out looks Lucas, Max, and Dustin would share, but he couldn’t find it in himself to deny her.

They have run of the house while Ted and Karen are on their ‘date night’ and Holly is with one of the parents from her new school that Karen befriended. It’s the closest thing to a real date that they’ve ever had, but Will is still wary. They go to their usual spots, El and Mike squeeze into Ted’s La-Z-Boy while the others sit on the couch with the bowl of popcorn and the snacks spread out in front of them and the FBI warning begins to play. Will sits on the end of the couch closest to the La-Z-Boy. He tries to push down that familiar sense of longing and just enjoy his friends’ company, but he found himself glancing at them frequently, quietly wondering if they felt it too. Before the movie gets into full swing, Mike and El suddenly stand, grabbing Will and hefting him up from his seat, drawing the attention of the others. Will stares at them bug eyed while they push him down onto the chair. Mike squeezes in next to him, the fit a little tighter than when it had been El and Mike.

El’s gaze is calculating as she takes in the lack of space, before she confidently plops herself down where Will and Mike’s hips are pressed together. She shifts until her legs are thrown over Will’s and the arm rest and she can lean her cheek where Mike and Will’s shoulders met. She reaches blindly over Mike and pulls the lever, springing the foot rest out. Will yelps in surprise when the chair suddenly tilts back. Mike laughs, boldly wrapping his arm around Will’s shoulders while El settles, leaning her side against them, eyes on the screen. Will meets Mike’s eyes over El’s head of curls and grins, a happy blush on his cheeks. Will’s arm is trapped and going a bit numb, so he snakes it out through the space between her and Mike’s body, wrapping it around her waist, and rests his other hand on El’s knee.

Jamie Lee Curtis is talking on the screen and Will can feel the holes his friends are practically burning into them, but all Will can think about is the happiness bubbling up in his chest. El seems fully engrossed in the film. Will turns his head, pressing his forehead to El’s, grinning. The hand on his shoulder comes up and begins mindlessly playing with the hairs at the base of his neck. He glances up and sees that Mike has his cheek resting against the back of El’s head and his other hand is lightly scratching up and down her back through her shirt, his eyes fixed on the TV, despite the curls that must be tickling his face.

“You love birds want a chocolate bar or you just gonna be gross all night?” Dustin asks without any real malice, mouth full of popcorn, breaking their little moment. The trio look at Dustin while Max and Lucas elbow him, shooting him a sharp look. “Ow! What?!” Dustin grumbles, wrapping his arms around his ribs with a glare.

“Have some tact, dude,” Lucas grumbles. Will suddenly laughs, squeezing El tighter to him, and surprising the room. El quietly laughs into her hand.

A small smile pulls at Mike’s face and he huffs, holding his hand out towards his friends, “Give me a KitKat, dude.”

#milevill #mileven #byler #wileven #stranger things ot3 #ot3 fanfiction #fanfiction prompt #my writing stuff #stranger things #idk if those ship names are right

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ayearofpike · 6 years

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Whisper of Death

Pocket Books, 1991 180 pages, 13 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-69058-2 LOC: CPB Box no. 1161 vol. 8 OCLC: 24856738 Released December 1, 1991 (per B&N)

At the last moment, Roxanne Wells runs out of the surgery room where she’s scheduled for an abortion. As she and her boyfriend return home, they are unnerved by the fact that their town is apparently completely empty. The only ones remaining share one thing in common — their relationship with Betty Sue McCormick, a troubled girl who killed herself four weeks ago, right around the time Rox got pregnant. And then they find Betty Sue’s stories, and the accidents start, and there is no way for any of them to get away.

At last we arrive at the book that my dear friend and follower @mildhorror has been looking for. As she reads along, she's looking for the short stories embedded in the novel that have gruesome and horrific deaths for their protagonists, stories that entice their living subjects into parallel fates. Look no more, my friend: it's in here.

I actually didn't remember this story at all, apart from some bare scaffolding. But Tonya Pines was on to something when she said, in her intro to Thirteen, that the swing toward YA horror was only getting stronger. This one is darker than we've seen from Pike yet, and remember, we're talking about a dude who's already written a vulture spirit girl who tears dudes apart, an immortal lizard necromancer, and a cassette-tape spirit possessing a James Dean-acting murderer. This is full-on unexplainable supernatural fear here, something I can't possibly imagine him being able to get away with if not for the success of his books and those by other authors slowly ramping up the crazy.

The story starts at the end, sort of. Rox is our narrator, writing in the first person, preparing us for the empty universe in which she now sits and how she came to be there. The recollection starts with her boyfriend, Pepper, and their brief but intense courtship in the nowhere desert of Salem, Arizona. You know how these things go, especially if you're in one of these small towns that Pike loves to valorize but still can't quite quantify: boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy and girl have a roll in the hay (literally, in the barn at Pepper's house), girl gets pregnant while still in high school. She has an unexpectedly adverse reaction to abortion from the beginning, but Pepper doesn't want the kid so she agrees to get one. There's not a place to do it in their town, though — they have to go to a larger town two hours away, to a clinic that's open early on Saturday morning. So Rox goes into the exam room, the doctor sets her up, he gives her a shot. And then he runs out of the room in a hurry.

This is where Rox starts thinking about Betty Sue, who burned herself to death at the edge of town about a month before. The loss of life makes her instantly regret what she's doing, so she climbs up off the exam table, gets dressed, and goes back to the lobby, where Pepper sits alone. She says she's done, she wants to leave, and she wants to drive. They're on the road before she tells him she didn't do it, and that he's not going to change her mind. So he falls asleep and she keeps driving home. They're halfway home when Rox sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road, silhouetted by the sunrise. But when she tries to get a better look, the person is gone. Oh well, no ride for this person, and Rox keeps going and only stops to get gas when they get back to town.

But nobody's in the gas station. This is before the proliferation of debit cards, and maybe even before nationwide insistence on pre-paying for gas. So Rox puts $5 worth into her tank (4.3 gallons, Pike says, which sounds crazy cheap now but is still a vast overestimation of the cost of gas outside California in 1991) and goes to pay but can't find anyone to take her money. There's no one in the booth, no one in the bathroom, no one in the service garage, no one anywhere at all. Weird, but not enough to keep Rox from dropping Pepper at home and then going home herself. Which is just as empty. She expected this, as her dad is a long-haul trucker and is away most of the time, but now she's starting to get freaked out. It's worse when she turns on the radio and only gets fuzz, and the TV does the same thing, no matter how she tunes them. She calls people — Pepper, the 24-hour supermarket, her best friend in Florida — but no one picks up. Pounding on neighbors' doors likewise elicits no response.

Rox is alone.

She's yelling in the town square when she bumps into Pepper again, who's had the same issue of not being able to find anyone. They break into a nearby store to try to use the phone, calling everywhere and everyone they can think of, but there's no response. Before they can totally freak out, the school valedictorian walks in, having wandered downtown looking for anyone at all and heard them yelling at each other. He's been tipped off to their situation because he can't pick up any transmissions on his short-wave radio. Nerds, right? He wants to poke around Salem and look for others, but Pepper wants to get the fuck out of Dodge. So they compromise and decide to rob the bank to get enough money to finance traveling around until they find anyone else.

Only someone's beaten them to the bank, a big mean slacker bully with a couple of guns. He shoots out the door on instinct, hitting Rox in the leg enough to bloody her pants but but not enough to incapacitate her. They all go to the drugstore next door to get Rox a bandage, and while they're working on it the town beauty walks in looking for aspirin. Obviously everyone is freaked out in different ways that they can't find anyone else, so while they're breaking in places the valedictorian suggests the ice cream shop, so they can eat and talk about what's going on. Fat nerds, right? Did I mention he’s fat? Have I talked at all about how Pike body-shames the hell out of anybody who’s heavy? Like, he goes out of his way to describe these loads and how grossed out his characters are at the very thought of an obese person existing in their universe. Maybe I’ve avoided it because it hits me a little too close to home, but it’s rather grotesque how hard these books lay into the fat kids.

So anyway, as they eat their ice cream (fat nerd digging straight into a gallon tub) they come to a few possible conclusions. First, the world changed right around sunrise, because Rox and Pepper saw people before that and everyone was gone after. Second, there is power and energy, but no other life aside from the five of them, as far as they know: no dogs, no birds, no bugs, nothing. Third, as they can't reach anybody outside and no broadcasts are coming to them, it may be that the world is fine and it's just these high school seniors who've been isolated in a separate dimension. And that's the fourth thing: they're all the same age, live in the same town, attend the same school. And they all (except Rox) had a connection to Betty Sue McCormick.

When the valedictorian brings up her name, everybody else gets freaked out. It's enough for Rox to think that yeah, maybe there is actually something to this seemingly-tenuous connection. She realizes, too, that what she saw of the fleeting vanishing hitchhiker (not much more than flaming red hair and a female shape) might match with Betty Sue. So they go to her house and see if there's anything that might help them out. What they find are Betty Sue's diary and a pile of short stories, neatly stacked on her desk, as though waiting for someone to find them. The diary mentions all of them (again, except Rox) and hints at the various wrongs they'd done to Betty Sue and what punishments and revenge she'd like to seek out for them. The stories are something else entirely: written in simplistic prose and rhyming verse, describing a character who is undone by a tragic accident.

We only get to see the first one — a tale of a lovely young woman, the most beautiful girl at a costume party, who burns to death when she catches fire wishing on a celebratory cake — before the beauty queen freaks out, throws the diary onto an open flame on the gas stove, and rips the stories into pieces to be scattered by the wind. She's more ready than ever to get away, and so she swipes a car and fills it to capacity and beyond with gas. But she's smoking a cigarette, even though nobody had ever seen her smoke before. And the gas won't stop coming from the nozzle, and she drops her cigarette, and the entire gas station goes up in an explosion.

So Rox is curious now. Why did Betty Sue kill herself? How has she managed to isolate and target these kids in particular? Does she really have powers beyond the mundane that can make others do her bidding? Is she even actually dead? The weirdest thing about these questions, though, is that apparently Rox has lived in the same town as most of these other people for her entire life — and remember, it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere — and she doesn’t know them well enough to piece it together. I guess if you don’t care and are unobservant, maybe, but that’s not how I roll, so it’s hard to believe.

The valedictorian does his best to answer Rox’s questions. He knew that the beauty queen was Betty Sue’s childhood friend, and that she wasn’t so good-looking when she was younger and more or less ditched her friend when she got her looks. He himself liked Betty Sue; even though he was a little scared of her he found himself going to see her whenever she wanted, even if he didn’t necessarily want to. From the diary, he learned that the bully had gone out with Betty Sue and that it hadn’t ended well, and also that Pepper was interesting to her but the burned pages didn’t reveal specifics. The most personally concerning anecdote he had, though, regarded Betty Sue’s habit of catching butterflies in glass jars and letting them die. It’s clear that the valedictorian thinks that they’ve been trapped in a jar of their own.

If this is true, they figure, then Betty Sue must still be alive and around to keep an eye on them. They go try to find her, and sure enough the bully starts catching distant glimpses of red hair. He goes after it, guns blazing, and Pepper chases after him. Meanwhile, Rox and the nerd decide to piece together the torn stories. The next one they manage to decipher is about a young man who tries to go over a wall to a place where he doesn’t belong, only he can’t jump off, and as he walks along it the wall gets thinner and thinner, to the point where an unfortunate misstep slices him in half up the middle. Makes sense that if the bully had assaulted Betty Sue, her vengeance would involve killing him junk-first. (As a personal note, this story plus a broken knee may have contributed to my paralyzing fear of slipping and tearing my groin.) And sure enough, when they manage to catch up to him, he’s still firing his gun at shadows and reflections, and when the one in his hand runs out of shells he goes for the one in his belt. And squeezes the trigger before it’s out.

Blowing off his own dick doesn’t kill him, though. Rox has to finish it. She takes the gun and shoots the bully in the head. And then they put together the next story, about a court jester who can’t tell original stories and so the queen makes him stab himself in the heart. So for some reason they let the valedictorian go into the drugstore by himself, where he slits his wrists and bleeds out. I don’t really get this either: she killed him because he was ... boring? Like, abandoning your friend is an offense. Rape is a serious offense. But ... not being amusing? It doesn’t hold. Before he dies, though, he tells Rox that Betty Sue was pregnant when she killed herself, and that she needed someone else to get into her position in order to make herself immortal. So now we’re finally seeing what Rox is doing here at all, if she never knew or wronged Betty Sue that she knew of. But who was it that got her pregnant?

See, the whole time, Rox is trying to figure out exactly what Pepper’s relationship with Betty Sue was before she died. He’s been denying that they had anything, and slowly eases up the way little kids and asshole dudes do when they’re caught, trying to cop to a smaller offense so they don’t have to admit the bigger one. Yeah, they hung out. Yeah, he went out with her a few times. Yeah, they had sex. Yeah, he got her pregnant. Yeah, it was after he had sex with Rox. This last one comes out after they’ve read the final story, about Salt and Pepper seasoning the queen’s food and Pepper ending up on her fork. They’re back in the barn while they talk about this, and in her anger (an anger that has come on more strongly than she’d have ever intended) Rox shoves Pepper out of the loft and into the haystack. Where he lands directly on a pitchfork, tines facing up.

There’s nothing left to do. There’s nothing else. Rox finds herself wandering back to Betty Sue’s bedroom, where she writes down her whole story, even as she’s not sure whether it will ever be read by anybody.

As she gets to the end, who should appear but the big bad queen herself. She tells Rox that not only was her abortion the catalyst for Betty Sue’s revenge, but that she changed her mind too late about not having it. And suddenly, we’re in the third person, outside the clinic exam room, where Pepper is crying and praying and worrying about Rox. He really does love her, after all, and he’s worried about his selfishness causing her to get hurt. Which, good call, dickbag, because now the doctor is running around all panicky, and when Pepper forces his way back into the room Rox is dead, having hemorrhaged so suddenly and mysteriously that the doctor couldn’t save her.

There’s nothing else for Pepper to do but drive home. On the way, he picks up a red-headed hitchhiker who looks strangely familiar. And thus begins Betty Sue’s story anew.

So that’s Whisper of Death. Interesting and spooky, mostly well-told but some holes that don’t make sense. That’s the way we’re going with most of Pike’s work anyway, and this one is better than some others. It’s another one like Remember Me, where I can talk about the elements here and give a summary, but it doesn’t really do the story justice. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and even if this one isn’t quite as good it still fits that mold.

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soulspideys · 7 years

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A Review of Tom Holland’s Complete Filmography

According to imdb

I had a lot of free time, so I decided to watch every movie Tom has acted in, according to his imdb page. I review each film, some with separate spoiler-free reviews.

spoilers under the cut

Arrietty (UK dub)

Not much to say about this one, so both reviews will go together. Tom plays Sho, the sick boy who finds Arrietty and her family. Quite similar to the Disney version, though a little less childish and fun. An enjoyable viewing; I find both English dubs interchangeable.

The Impossible (2012)

Wow. For my spoiler-free review, I just gotta say: watch this movie!! The whole cast is phenomenal, and Tom really does carry the story. He’s a 12-year-old boy on Holiday with his family when a tsunami hits, and we watch his struggle to get his mother medical attention and reunite with his father and little brothers. For such a young character, it is truly remarkable to watch him steal every scene. Definitely recommend!

Spoilers: I cannot stress enough how amazing this cast was. Of course, the movie had its flaws, with three of the main cast being portrayed by children, but it was still remarkable. The way Tom shows Lucas’s character development was remarkably done, and every time Lucas breaks or begins to scream, you’re reminded how young these children are. Ewan McGregor, as always, played his role to the best of his ability, and as he showed a mourning dad desperate for information on his family, you could feel your heart break with him. Naomi Watts, of course, was phenomenal. Just an all around remarkable film, and one that really showcased some of Tom’s strong suits. Quite graphic throughout, but if you have the stomach, I highly recommend taking the time to watch young Tom act his heart out in crisis.

Moments (short film, 2013)

mmkay so this is just a short youtube film, but it’s pretty great. It has Tom doing a voiceover with a montage of a boy and girl in a relationship. Heartbreaking, sharply done, and quick, it’s worth the four minutes of your time.

Locke (2013)

This one’s about a dad on a car ride and how his life kind of falls apart over the course of a few phone calls. Though Tom has a very small part in this film (it’s just his voice for like five minutes, max) he does it well. You understand the relationship between he and his father, and he sounds just a like a teenage kid waiting to watch a match on tv would. The whole film isn’t really necessary if you’re just watching for Tom, but it’s actually really remarkable. Would recommend, just be aware this isn’t a “Tom” movie.

How I Live Now (2013)

ALRIGHT, BUCKOS, STRAP IN! I have my fair share of complaints with this movie, but Tom’s character (Isaac) is NOT ONE OF THEM! Basic plot: an edgy™ American girl comes to stay with her cousins in England, and WWIII breaks out and they get separated and she’s trying to find them. It’s enjoyable, Saoirse Ronan does a great job playing her character, and I’m glad I actually watched it.

Spoilers: She falls in love with her eldest cousin, and that’s a main instigator of the plot. GROSS. But it’s her middle cousin, Isaac, that really made this movie tolerable. Tom plays a 14-year-old kid that really just wanted his cousin to enjoy her stay without letting her walk all over him. He and Daisy exchange banter, and he never lets her negativity get to him. For the first half an hour, he spends all his screen time trying to make light of situations and caring for his family. Then, they kill him off after seeing nothing of him for 40+ minutes. NOT. COOL. Daisy tenderly buries his glasses after finding his dead body, but they don’t really mention him again until the little sister is like “lmao where’s isaac???” He deserved far better. I will probably watch this movie again, but it really goes downhill when you take his positivity and warmth from it.

Tweet (short film, 2015)

Another short youtube film. This one stars Tom’s youngest brother, and is very witty and cute. You get about thirty seconds (max) of Tom onscreen, but he actually directed this! V v adorable, I recommend those two minutes of cuteness.

In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

Ahhh, the origination of the iconic Quackson meme. Won’t lie, I was a bit disappointed by this one. The movie is based off a book that is telling the “true story” that inspired Herman Meville to write Moby Dick. Tom plays the young version of the sole survivor of the ship Essex that was attacked by a white wale and marooned for months. A rowdy period piece full of action and high tensions, it’s a good popcorn movie.

Spoilers: The pacing was really weird. They spend the first hour of the movie sailing around on a nice boat, hunting whales, and bullying the new kid (Tom). The captain is jealous of the first mate so he makes dumb choices. Tom’s character (Thomas Nickerson) thinks the first mate is the coolest guy ever. And suddenly!! WHALES. FIRE. TENSIONS. There’s literally like fifteen minutes of whale smashing, half an hour of floating around and starving and cannibalism, and the last fifteen minutes are split between angsty old Nickerson and everyone making it home fine. The idea was interesting, and the cast did wonderfully, it just felt like the production was a bit rushed. Would still recommend!

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I’m not really gonna review this, we probably have all seen this. I just wanted to put it here so it’s all his films. Tom’s great. The ideal Peter. A quality beeb. I’m so sorry that I said beeb. WOW I LOVE THIS SPIDEY!

Edge of Winter (2016)

Okay!! I was really excited to see this one, and it was perfectly mediocre. A quick summary: Bradley (Tom) and his little brother are left with their dad for a week or whatever. Their dad finds out that their new step-dad is planning on moving the family and freaks out. Horror movie cliches ensue. An interesting concept with a pretty decent cast, but lacking in certain areas. A mellow horror, much more of a thriller.

Spoilers: Tbh Luc and Richard felt a bit flung in, and there was a lot of unrealistic things. Like... Brad drives a car for like a mile one time and then at the end he’s fine driving miles and miles to get away. Also what happened to their dad?? It’s never discussed at the end. And ik this is about Tom (don’t get me wrong, he was great) but can we discuss the little brother??? Honestly the two brothers pretty much carried the film and they did amazingly! If it had the proper score, I feel it would have boosted the film’s quality tenfold. Altogether, an enjoyable movie to watch when you want something freaky, but not too bad.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

Quite possibly my least favorite movie on this list, but that might just be me. Percy Fawcett is an explorer that becomes obsessed with his search for the lost city he calls “z” in the amazon forest. Despite ridicule from his superiors, he dedicates his life to it. His family feels he has abandoned them, but still support him. It’s literally 2 hours and 20 minutes of this dude looking for native inhabitants of “amazonia.” There are long, sophisticated scenes of dialogue. This is a movie you need to pay close attention to in order to capture completely.

Spoilers: It’s probably bc I was watching the movie for Tom, but I was disappointed. We get maybe 20 minutes of Tom, the majority of that just squeezed into the end. Tom’s character development felt rushed and flimsy. Robert Pattinson’s character was great, and honestly, why did we not get more development from him??? It was a lot of dialogue with not a lot of movement. Probably like a 5 or 6 out of 10. Just a bit of a mess.. The best part was probably what an early feminist his wife was.

Pilgrimage (2017)

okay so this movie isn’t technically out yet but it’s online illegally (ssssh.....) and I really wanted to see it. I was prepared to dislike it bc people kept talking about how dark it was, but it was actually very enjoyable. Definitely gory and v intense, but all the same, a good story. Possibly the best showcase of Tom’s talent yet (other than hoco obs). Be warned: it can be very hard to watch at times, but stays true to its story.

Spoilers: ok so tbh sometimes it felt like the movie couldn’t decide who it wanted its main character to be. We see Mr. French Richard Armitage Princey a lot, and the herbalist, and the French Priest dude, and definitely a lot of The Novice (Tom), but it wasn’t until the end when it becomes clear that we were watching through the eyes of the Novice. Where Edge of Winter’s big climax failed to feel high-stakes when it was, Pilgrimage does the opposite. During the final scene, I went “oh, yeah, this is the climax!” and it felt v high stakes. Definitely dark and gory and intense, but an intriguing and fascinating film to watch if you have the time.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Wowowowow i love tom and he’s so good and i can’t wait to see more spidey YEET!!!

thank you for reading, let me know if this helped, and i will probably continue to add to this as more of his movies come out :)))

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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The Boys: Every Marvel & DC Character Parodied In Amazon's Series

Which DC and Marvel superheroes served as inspiration for the rip-roaring cast of The Boys? In the original comic book series by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, The Boys serves as a bloody and grossly satirical take on the superhero genre, subverting long-established tropes and toying with readers' expectations. However, the story also takes direct shots at the giants of the comic book world, Marvel and DC. Many of the biggest, most outrageous superheroes in The Boys are straight-up parodies of the comic book world's biggest names, hilariously poking fun at the giants of the industry.

Amazon's The Boys adaptation follows suit, and perhaps even takes the satirical elements to a new level. After all, the original comic series began in 2006 and the superhero genre has evolved significantly since then, particularly with regards to their presence on the big screen. This new landscape provides The Boys with a new palette of potential targets, and the Amazon series takes full advantage, ripping on a host of big-name figures from the genre's more family-friendly output.

Related: Why Terror The Dog Isn't In The Boys Season 1

The Boys' DC comparisons are certainly more overt, particularly in the comic books, but Marvel don't escape unscathed either - there's plenty of satirical ribbing to go round. But while The Boys does raise some interesting talking points regarding the direction and commercial aspect of the superhero genre, most of the parodies are done with a wry smile and a knowing wink, rather than any outright malice. Here are all the Marvel and DC character parodies in The Boys.

America's favorite Kryptonian is undoubtedly the biggest inspiration behind Homelander. The Boys plays on the DC icon's God-like status in glorious fashion, giving the leader of the Seven all of Clark Kent's best powers and abilities including flight, heat vision and even X-ray vision - an ability The Boys naturally twists into something more sinister. However, there's also elements of Marvel's Captain America thrown into the mix. Visually, Homelander incorporates Cap's stars and stripes motif and his overt exploitation of patriotism reaches levels Superman could never achieve with his Kryptonian heritage.

One of the most direct parodies in The Boys is Chase Crawford's The Deep, who acts as a clear riff on DC's Aquaman. The Boys takes a grim look at the darker side of Aquaman's fish communication powers, and goes on to prove how aquatic anatomy could be a problem with groupies. Most notably, however, the series plays on the idea that Aquaman has always been widely derided by comic fans for his goofy look and relatively odd powers. This was in the days before Jason Momoa came along and gave Aquaman's reputation a much-needed boost. The Deep is seen attending therapy sessions to discuss his inferiority complex - something Aquaman would've no doubt also done had he been aware of his status as a figure of ridicule.

Another clear parallel can be found between Queen Maeve and the female third of DC's fabled trinity, Wonder Woman. Both characters have origins steeped in ancient mythology, with the DC character deriving from Greek lore and Maeve named after a warrior from Irish legend. Highlighting their mythical natures, both characters wear stylized metallic suits of armor with a matching sword, although Maeve's weapon wouldn't come close to matching Diana's in a fight. Like Wonder Woman, Maeve is also one of the more ethical members of the Seven, acting as a moral compass compared to the debauchery of the other members..

Starlight and Stargirl have very different superpowers, with the latter wielding a staff to manipulate energy, while also being able to fly and shoot stars. Starlight, on the other hand, generates intense rays of light from her body, similar to Northstar and Aurora from the Marvel comics. However, the design and concept of Stargirl does seem to heavily inform Starlight in The Boys. Both are presented as apple pie American role models and are the more innocent faces of their respective superhero teams. Physically, the two heroes share a close resemblance, and Stargirl is known for being somewhat relaxed about revealing her true identity - something The Boys references with Starlight on several occasions.

Related: Amazon's The Boys Has An Unexpected Supernatural Cameo

Any number of superheroes from both the DC and Marvel rosters have been able to turn invisible, but Translucent's carbon-based skin is far more unique, perhaps most commonly associated with Emma Frost from Marvel's X-Men comics. Predominantly a psychic, Frost can turn her skin into a carbon-based impenetrable exterior, much like Translucent. Charlies Xavier presumably never thought of using Frenchie's method to defeat her though. Furthermore, Translucent's comic equivalent in Ennis and Robertson's The Boys is a character called Jack From Jupiter - a not-so-subtle nod to DC's Martian Manhunter who, incidentally, could also turn invisible.

Perhaps equally as indebted to Wolverine, Popclaw's ability to grow claws through her skin to use as weapons is a trick straight from the X-Men canon. Logan was famous for drawing three prongs through his knuckles, X-23 cut that down to two, now Popclaw is reduced to one single protrusion from each limb, however the concept itself is unique enough to trace directly back to Marvel. Since Popclaw is female, she can perhaps be more readily compared to X-23 than Wolverine himself.

Just as Black Panther is introduced as the prince of Africa's fictional state of Wakanda, Nubian Prince is named as the heir to the African region of Nubia. Furthering the connection, both characters wear sleek black superhero outfits adorned with traditional African design elements. Madelyn Stillwell also cynically describes Nubian Prince as "not too militant, Caucasians love him too," which could be interpreted as a subtle commentary on the distinct lack of superhero movies starring a black lead character.

In the comic version of The Boys, A-Train and the Flash have more in common than just super speed, with A-Train's brash arrogance and exuberant personality acting as an exaggerated caricature of his DC counterpart. This influence is less apparent in the Amazon series, where A-Train is a more conflicted character, concerned about his relevance in the Seven and paranoid his drugs running side-business will be unearthed. Still, the death of Robin is a shining example of what horrors could occur if Flash was really zipping across the world in a blur of red spandex.

The Boys draws several comparisons between Vought and the modern Marvel Studios machine. A cameo from Seth Rogen reveals that the company have their own VCU - the Vought Cinematic Universe. One company executive also utters the line "everybody loves a team up," openly lampooning Marvel's crossover releases such as Avengers and Captain America: Civil War. There are even references to Vought opening theme parks outside of Paris (Disneyland Paris) and releasing the billion dollar-grossing G-Men: World War - a mashup of X-Men and Civil War.

While Vought may parody Marvel to some extent, the Seven are a complete ripoff of DC's famous Justice League. With their formal sit-down meetings, national celebrity status and individual superhero likenesses, the Seven have far more in common with DC's premier superhero team than other groups, such as the Avengers. The similarities continue in the comic books, where the Seven operate from a skybase instead of a regular skyscraper, somewhat akin to the Justice League's Watchtower space station.

More: No MCU? No Umbrella Academy Or The Boys

The Boys season 2 is currently without a release date. More news as it arrives.

source https://screenrant.com/boys-amazon-marvel-dc-hero-character-parody/

#screenrant

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aion-rsa · 5 years

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Stephen King: 10 Best Horror Novels

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From a story about a demonic clown to a haunted hotel, these are the 10 Stephen King horror novels you can't miss!

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There's no doubt that writer Stephen King is best known for the horror novels that haunt his special corner of American literature. But the extremely prolific writer has also written plenty of dark/epic fantasy, science fiction, literary, mystery, and even romance. In fact, there are plenty of examples of genre-mixing in his writing. Books like Lisey's Story (a truly fantastic read), Duma Key, The Green Mile, The Eyes of the Dragon, Bag of Bones, and The Dark Tower series are fantastic examples of what King can do with just about any genre of fiction.

It can be hard to make a distinction between King's true horror books and those that happen to have some scary moments in them. But that's why we're here. We've made a ranked list of ten pure horror novels by King that we think will keep you up for plenty of nights to come. A Halloween treat!

Related Article: 12 Best Stephen King Movies

We really tried to focus on novels where horror was at the forefront of the story, where without the scares, the book wouldn't be a book at all. That's why you probably won't see The Dark Tower books or The Stand, largely considered to be the King's magnum opus, on this list. But you should read those, too.

Here we go:

Revival

In recent years, the King of Horror has taken an interest in hardboiled detective and science fiction novels. Things like the Detective Bill Hodges trilogy, Under the Dome, and 11/22/63 have been among his latest offerings. But his 2014 novel Revival was a return to form for the writer.

This homage to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, the cosmic horror tales of H.P. Lovecraft, and Arthur Machen's "The Great God Pan" is quite the revelation, literally and figuratively. The novel tells the story of a Christian minister who uses strange methods to cure the ill. After his wife and son die in a car accident, he denounces God in front of his entire congregation and is forced to leave town. Years later, he's back to bring a dead woman back to "life" in order to learn more about the afterlife.

What he discovers on the other side is truly terrifying. Revival is must-read recent King.

The Dark Half

If there's one thing King loves, it's writing books and stories about writers. There have been plenty over the years, including "Secret Window, Secret Garden," "1408," and another novel on this list that we'll get to momentarily, but The Dark Half is probably the most "autobiographical" of the bunch.

You see, King used to write under a pseudonym, Richard Bachman, in order to publish more than one novel a year without overwhelming his audience. The Bachman books consist of a series of gritty novels that were published from 1977 to 1984, and King has revisited the pseudonym since being outed, too.

Related Article: 10 Best Supernatural Stephen King Villains

The protagonist in The Dark Half has to deal with the death of his own pseudonym in an unexpected way, as his better-selling alter ego comes after the people that tried to kill him off. It's all a fun bit of supernatural horror that includes a lot blood, violence, and some pretty gross body horror. It's an especially fun horror novel if you're a writer...

Watch The Dark Half on Amazon

Pet Sematary

But not as fun as King's ridiculous novel about undead pets. A book that was definitely inspired by EC horror comics (King's early brushes with horror were in the pages of those books), this novel might be classified as a delicious, campy romp with plenty of scares. The novel's B-movie sensibility cannot be understated.

In Pet Sematary, a family moves to the small town of Ludlow, Maine, where people bury their dead pets in a special cemetery, which is actually an ancient Micmac Indian burial ground. Obviously, that means that these animals come back to life as evil shadows of themselves.

Oh, the setup is so perfect. When the family's little two-year-old boy is suddenly killed by a speeding truck, the father decides to bury the boy in the pet cemetery in the hopes that he will be revived. What happens next is what the best campy horror is made of.

Watch Pet Sematary on Amazon

Misery

King's best book about a novelist is also a great horror story that is still quite relatable today. A disturbing look at fandom, Misery is what happens when a writer's work becomes a mad woman's obsession.

Paul Sheldon, writer of Victorian-era romance novels, suffers an accident on the road during a snowstorm. He is rescued by Annie Wilkes, a former nurse who is coincidentally Paul's biggest fan. And she's not very happy about the ending of his last book. So Annie decides to kidnap Paul and keep him hostage until he fixes the damage he's done.

Further Reading: Stephen King's 10 Best Human Villains

Imagine being kidnapped by an angry mob of Ghostbusters fans after telling them that the new team will be made up of an all-female cast, and then forced to rewrite the entire script. That's Annie Wilkes.

Misery is a fascinating psychological horror tale about the dangers of fandom and a writer's connection to his work. And if you need a great Stephen King movie, the film adaptation is pretty fantastic, as well.

Watch Misery on Amazon

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

This slim novel (to King's standards) has plenty in common with a fairy tale, as a little girl finds herself lost in the woods with nothing or no one to help her find her way except what's in her backpack: a bottle of water, two Twinkies, a boiled egg, a tuna sandwich, a bottle of Surge, a poncho, a Game Boy, and a Walkman. Thankfully, King's little protagonist proves to be quite the survivalist as the book progresses.

Walking a thin line between an intense examination of loneliness and isolation and a supernatural thriller, as things grow weirder in the woods as time passes, this is a compact horror novel that you can read in one sit-down and you'll get King at his best, as his character exemplifies the meaning of human resilience, even as she begins to hallucinate due to hunger, fear, and thirst.

Her love for her baseball idol pitcher Tom Gordon allows her to face her fears and even confront the "God of the Lost." This is a really good one. A few years later, a pop-up book adaptation of this novel was fittingly released.

Cujo

Cujo is one of King's more "realistic" novels, featuring a setup that's real enough to send shivers down your spine, especially if you live in the suburbs or ever owned a Ford Pinto... The story goes like this: the Trentons move from New York to Castle Rock, Maine (where nothing good ever happens in the Kingverse). Vic and Donna Trenton, who are having some marital problems, have a four-year-old son named Tad, because children should always be in danger in these books.

Meanwhile, longtime residents Charity and Brett Chambers have a nice St. Bernard named Cujo that loves chasing wild rabbits in his spare time. During his latest safari, Cujo is bitten on the nose by a rabid bat. And, as you can probably imagine, all hell absolutely breaks loose.

The dog kills several people before feasting its eyes on the ultimate prey: a boy and his mother, who have stopped by the Chambers' place in their little Ford Pinto. What follows are very tense moments of terror inside a little car, as a mom tries to protect her son from the rabid terror that awaits them outside.

King has said in interviews that he doesn't really remember writing Cujo, as he worked on it at the peak of his struggle with drug addiction, but we wish he had. He wrote a fine horror book. Cruel ending and all.

Watch Cujo on Amazon

Salem's Lot

King's ode to Bram Stoker's Dracula is a classic vampire tale that might even formidably rival the novel it pays homage to. When Kurt Barlow comes to Jerusalem's Lot, Maine (where nothing good happens, either), shit hits the fan, as he preys on the living and ignites an outbreak of vampirism in the town.

The only guy who can stop him is, you guessed it, a writer named Ben Mears, who already has a strained relationship with his hometown, which he abandoned years ago. Like a modern team of Draculian vampire hunters, Ben teams up with his new sweetheart Susan, a little boy named Mark, and some other townspeople to take down the vampire and his unholy creations. There's also Father Callahan, this story's version of an incompetent Van Helsing, who loses a lot in the novel but redeems himself in King's The Dark Tower series.

Related Article: A Reading Guide to Stephen King's Dark Tower Universe

All in all, this fat novel holds plenty of scares, including a school bus full of vampire children who hunt down the school bus driver who tormented them. We have goosebumps.

Watch Salem's Lot on Amazon

The Shining

By now, The Shining, along with the other two entries in the top 3 of this list, has become embedded in American pop culture, whether because of King's book or Stanley Kubrick's excellent movie (King would disagree). Either way, this is the novel that never made you want to become a hotel caretaker.

An alcoholic writer (surprise!) named Jack Torrance brings his wife Wendy and his son Danny to his new job as the off-season caretaker of The Overlook Hotel in Colorado, where he hopes to make a bit of extra cash to support his writing. The job seems easy enough until all the guests leave and the doors shut behind them until the spring. That's when the hotel's ghosts come out to fuck with the living.

Related Article: How The Shining Examines the Immortality of Evil

You'll recall plenty of the spooky ghosts Danny encounters on his treks through the claustrophobic hallways of the hotel. It's because he was born with telepathic powers that allow him to communicate with the lost souls of the Overlook. It unfortunately also triggers the place's supernatural energy, which quickly takes control of Jack, who is convinced into killing his wife and son due to cabin fever and a pretty bad case of writer's block.

This is one of those special novels that you only get once in a lifetime and an especially good example of King's unique brand of horror. Get to it, Constant Readers!

Watch The Shining on Amazon

Carrie

The story of how debut novel Carrie came to be a huge hit for the future King of Horror is now as famous as the actual book. King began working on a short story about a girl with telekinetic powers when someone accused him of not knowing how to write about women. He typed up the infamous shower scene while living in a trailer and working as a high school teacher. King didn't love the scene, so he tossed the first pages of his bestseller in the trash. It was his wife Tabitha who pulled the pages out of the wastebasket and convinced him to finish the story. And here we are.

Apart from all the telekinesis, Carrie is another book that has remained quite relatable. On one side, it's a lot of social commentary about religious fanaticism, alienation, adolescence, and bullying, while the rest is pure horrific fun.

While many will point to the high school cruelty or Carrie's eventual vengeance upon her classmates as the source of true terror in the book, we'd say there's nothing scarier than Margaret White, an unstable Fundamentalist who unceasingly punishes her daughter Carrie for her sins. Waiting to see how their conflict plays out is the best part of the book, as the real moments of cruelty take center stage amidst all the supernatural stuff.

The 1976 movie from Brian De Palma, starring Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie, is quite good, too.

Watch Carrie on Amazon

Well, here we are. Like the Losers Club, as much as we'd like to forget about Pennywise, we just can't. Sparking a pretty logical (let's face it) fear of clowns, IT is King's terrifying, gruesome, trashy, cosmic, demonic horror masterpiece that we still can't claw out of our minds so many years later.

Not only does IT, a shape-shifting evil entity, prey on your worst fears, he also lives in the sewers and eats little children. As the story unfolds, it is revealed that IT has stalked the town of Derry, Maine (where nothing good...you get the picture) for centuries, waking up every 27 years to murder and eat everything.

Related Article: 10 Best Stephen King Heroes

It's up to the Losers, a group of childhood friends, to confront the monster not once, but TWICE in order to finally rid the town of the ancient, otherworldly evil. Watching Pennywise haunt their memories throughout the book quickly becomes a guilty pleasure. Are we bad people?

The true power of this masterful novel is in the all-encompassing evil nature of the villain that we can't quite understand. It not only makes a group of kids desperately aware of their own mortality, but scars them for life in more ways than one. And for what purpose? We may never truly know.

Watch IT (2017) and Stephen King, IT! (1990) on Amazon

What are your top Stephen King horror novels? Tell us in the comments!

John Saavedra is an associate editor at Den of Geek. Read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @johnsjr9.

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Sep 3, 2019

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vivaitalianmovies · 5 years

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5 Pedro Almodóvar Film and Wine Pairings

Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar has more than 130 awards on his resume, including a Best Screenplay Oscar for 2002’s outstanding Talk to Her. His films have grossed more than $65 million in the United States alone – no mean feat for a foreign language director. Suffice it to say, he’s Spain’s most famous filmmaker.

Few things go better with a movie than a bottle of wine, so I decided to take a break from this site’s usual Italian movie focus, pull some inspiration from our new book Decoding Spanish Wine, and put together some potential wine pairing ideas for your next Almodóvar movie viewing.

True, pairing wines and movies is a wholly subjective (and slightly ridiculous) undertaking, but it’s a ton of fun and an awesome way to learn more about European wine regions and varietals. And, as it turns out, Almodóvar’s parents were both involved in making and selling wine.

Using five of Almodóvar’s top movies as a jumping-off point and looking at filming locations for inspiration for wine selections, here are some choice pairings to consider. Salud!

1) Talk to Her

Almodóvar’s unforgettable drama about two men and the women in comas they look after scored him a Best Director Oscar nomination, his only nod in that category. It’s sheer filmmaking brilliance, with beautiful stylistic flourishes, generous servings of Almodóvar’s trademark eccentricity, and plenty of dramatic heft.

Talk to Her, like many of Almodóvar films (see Labyrinth of Passion, The Flower of My Secret, Live Flesh, etc.) was shot and/or takes place at least partly in Madrid.

Madrid is located in the Vinos de Madrid DO, but this wine region is rarely exported to the United States. So, for your Talk to Her wine pairing, consider a bottle from the Calatayud wine region, located about an hour’s high-speed train ride from Madrid.

Given its darker subject matter, a red feels like the right selection here, and that fits perfectly with Calatayud, which is best known for its Garnacha. Better still, you can find great Garnacha wines from Calatayud at a very reasonable $10-$15 price point.

Examples:

1) Evodia Old Vine Garnacha: We featured this one in our “Top Value Buys” chapter in Decoding Spanish Wine. Easy to find and typically running $10 and under, this is signature Garnacha at a great price.

2) 2015 San Gregorio Single Vineyard Las Martas Garnacha: Readily available at Total Wine and nabbed a 93 rating from James Suckling. Priced around $12.

3) 2017 Bodegas Breca Garnacha De Fuego: Currently selling for well under $10 at WineLibary.com.

2) All About My Mother

This riveting Almodóvar drama, which won the 2000 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, kicks off with a single mother witnessing the death of her beloved teenage son. This tragedy spurs her to travel to Barcelona to seek out her son's transgender mother, a fascinating journey that takes on mounting resonance as the film proceeds.

All About My Mother’s central setting of Barcelona provides an ideal setting for exploring some local wines. Penedès, the birthplace of Spain's famous sparkling wine Cava, is a mere 30 minutes away, giving you the perfect reason to bring out some bubbly. (Mercat Brut Nature Cava is readily available and a rock-solid choice typically running around $15.)

However, given All About My Mother's more somber tone, a red wine feels like the more appropriate pairing, so I'd actually recommend selecting a bottle from the nearby Priorat region. This is a super-hot wine area that's established itself as one of the wine world's most important and prestigious growing regions, offering plenty of powerhouse bottles to match the intensity of Almodóvar’s film.

You'll find a lot of intriguing blends here, with native grapes like Cariñena and Garnacha frequently mixing with Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah and Merlot.

Examples:

1) 2014 Grifoll Declara Predicat Priorat: Comprised of Garnatxa Negra (another name for Garnacha), Carignan, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, this wine is medium plus in body with dried red and dark fruit flavors. Think spicy cherry, plum and blueberry, with a dry finish that’s super lasting. (Read the full CostcoWineBlog review.)

2) 2014 La Conreria Priorat Tinto: Currently available at Total Wine for around $22, this Garnacha-based blend tallied a lofty 93 rating from Wine & Spirits.

3) 2016 Costers Del Priorat Petit Pissares: Well-reviewed blend of Garnacha and Cariñena currently going for $20 via Wine Library.

3) The Skin I Live In

This uneasy thriller, a 2012 Golden Globe nominee for Best Foreign Language Film, stars Antonio Banderas as a brilliant-but-troubled plastic surgeon obsessed with creating a new skin.

The Skin I Live was shot in northwest Spain in Galicia, an area dubbed “Green Spain” for its lush fields and frequent rains. It’s also home to the Rías Biaxas DO, a Spanish wine region known for its tasty Albariño wines.

Albariño is a white grape varietal that’s easy to find and a real crowd pleaser, pairing well with a wide variety of foods and an excellent pairing choice for your The Skin I Live In viewing pleasure.

Examples:

1) 2016 Burgans Albariño Rías Biaxas: Another pick from our “Top Values” chapter, it’s readily available and quite tasty, with just a touch of sweetness on the finish. Runs $12-15.

2) 2016 Martin Codax Albariño Rías Biaxas: Flavors of apple, nectarine and apricot headline this widely sold Albariño, which nabbed an 89 rating from Wine Enthusiast.

3) 2016 Luzada Albariño Rías Biaxas: A frequent Trader Joe’s offering, this crisp white boasts a much more enjoyable flavor profile than you’d typically expect from a $7.99 bottle.

4) Volver

Frequent Almodóvar collaborator Penelope Cruz stars as Raimunda, a woman wrestling with her past while raising her daughter and dealing with her deadbeat husband. It’s a juicy role and Cruz proved more than up to the task of tackling it, scoring a Best Actress Oscar nomination among many other accolades.

Volver, released in 2006, remains Almodóvar’s biggest box office hit, grossing $13 million in the U.S. and $85 million worldwide. Part of the film was shot in the Castile-La Mancha region in central Spain, which is also the general area in which Almodóvar was born.

This area is home to the La Mancha and Valdepeñas DO wine regions, and since the former is generally more available, let’s zero in on that region for your movie pairing.

There’s a real grab bag of grapes grown in La Mancha, and the region is definitely a wine wild card. Shop around and you can find some incredible wines for under $15 and sometimes even less than $10.

Examples:

1) 2016 Bodegas Volver La Mancha Tempranillo: When it comes to wine-movie pairings, it’s tough to beat drinking a Volver while watching Volver.

2) 2015 Campos Reales Tempranillo La Mancha: A full-bodied red that’s usually priced under $15 and frequently shows up on top value lists.

3) 2014 Protocolo Tinto: Often available well under $10, this is a steal of a bottle at that price.

5) Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Almodóvar’s international breakout stars Carmen Maura as a television actress who embarks on a memorable journey, filled with eccentric characters, to find out why she was dropped by her lover.

As the most comedic film on the list, Women on the Verge calls for a white wine. It was also shot in Madrid (birthplace of Carmen Maura as well), so let’s venture a bit northwest to the Spanish wine region of Rueda for your wine pairing. (You could also head south back to La Mancha for a variety of whites.)

Rueda’s whites are the most consumed in Spain, and the region is known for its Verdejo, a Spanish white varietal that’s been surging in popularity as of late.

Examples:

1) 2017 Bodegas Naia Rueda Verdejo: Wine Spectator recently dropped a cool 91 rating for this lively white.

2) Argami Rueda Verdejo: Grab some Spanish cheese and crack this food-friendly bottle, currently available at Total Wine.

3) 2017 Marqués de Cáceres Verdejo: Typically priced under $10, this widely distributed Rueda white provides a budget-friendly intro to Verdejo, striking a good balance of fruit (apple, citrus) and acidity.

Yo, Where’s the Rioja Tempranillo?

For many fledgling wine drinkers, Spanish wine IS Rioja Tempranillo. However, this region isn’t particularly close to any of the filming areas we’ve discussed above, so Almodóvar’s core films represent a perfect opportunity to try some different Spanish regions and varietals, as I’ve detailed above.

However, if you just gotta have some Rioja Tempranillo, the area is closest to Madrid of those settings listed above (about 3.5 hours), so Talk to Her is probably your best pairing option. Here are a few recs to get the party started, courtesy of my Decoding Spanish Wine co-author Andrew Cullen:

1) 2012 Hidalgo Tradicion H Rioja: “Massive flavor and depth of profile. Just luscious to a point where it’s hard to stop drinking. Dark fruit, blackberry, anise, dry, sticky in the finish. So much to like here.” (Read the full review.)

2) 2009 Bodegas Montecillo Rioja Gran Reserva: “Elegance all around; the result of aging good grapes and enjoying the wine in a great drinking window. Soft and smooth, with dark fruit, blackberry, black licorice flavors with dark chocolate notes and a spicy earthy and dry finish.” (Read the full review.)

3) 2014 Kirkland Signature Rioja Reserva: “I can say that I haven’t tasted any Riojas in this price range that come close to this bottle ... an insane value buy for $7.” (Read the full review.)

So there you have it, five classic Almodóvar films, recommended movie/wine pairings and more than 15 bottles to check out. Enjoy your film viewing and wine drinking, and hit me up in the comments below with your favorite pairings!