#this is all because of the Dream Works legal team and just how aggressive they smh

[jamiesfootball]

📓

In true fandom tradition I have rotated around the concept of a gender-flipped cast so many times. Like a normal amount of times. Specifically the players.

Some of it’s the same!-

Jan Maas is still very dry and dutch. Let’s just get that out of the way first.

Isaac is still built like a Rodan and cleats but it is definitely more of a struggle. Aside from having just the biggest tits on the team, there is nothing ‘feminine’ about her. She’s the captain and she’s tough and she looks rough around the edges but. There’s more to her than just that. You know?

Colin is just straight up named Colleen and has the same fucking hair cut and has had the same fucking hair cut since she was fourteen and she’s been out since the youth league because look at her. Look at her. This is the women’s league. She got outed a long time ago. She was never fooling anyone.

Some of it is the same but tilted-

Moe Bumbercatch is still small and feral and anti-capitalist but also aggressively nonbinary.

Dani’s leave in the first season was pregnancy related. Fútbol is life! She also gave life! It’s not a big deal (people try to tell her otherwise)

Some of it is different but kind of nice-

Sam’s dad was worried about her going off to England by herself so he came with her. They own a restaurant together. He packs her lunch. He has always been aggressively supportive of his daughter’s dreams and throws family dinners for her and her friends. He worries sometimes that his presence is overbearing. It is, but it’s a fixable amount. The longer Sam is at Richmond, the more she learns to set her own boundaries while appreciating how lucky she is.

And some of it is the same but better but worse but awful-

Jamie’s dad went to prison when she was sixteen. She’s been getting papped since she was barely legal. She’s Football Barbie and she’s been getting yelled at by angry men in locker rooms for most of her life. She has issues and no filter and too much talent. She is also the most likely to babysit for Dani, because she has a soft spot about single mums supporting their kids and never felt comfortable that she coming to Richmond might be the reason Dani could lose her job. She also gave Sam shit when she first joined, but then refused to leave Sam alone in a room with Rupert Mannion. She’s jealous of Isaac’s tits. She thinks it’s hilarious that all of Colleen’s girlfriends see her eyebrow slit and go weak in the knees. Personality-wise, she’s the Dutch-est Englishwoman Jan Maas has ever met. She’s planning to break contract and flee the country the second her dad gets out of prison. She hasn’t told anyone. She’s never even mentioned that she’s the one to blame for him being there in the first place.

Bonus non-player mention

Nate once let her parents set her up in an arranged marriage. She is picky, but she should’ve been pickier. She is divorced now. She’s barely spoken to her parents since. She’s not even the kitman here. She works in accounts in the AFC Richmond finance department. She’s never been so close yet so far from her dream.

OTHER Bonus non-player mention

Kyle Jones is a 5’3 flagrantly sparkly pixie-faced bisexual man who is best known for a series of silly, tongue-in-cheek deodorant commercials where he road on a horse. He has been fighting to be respected ever since. He is colloquially know as the Sexy Lynx Man.

#the primary function of this silly thing is they are all equally as dumb and tragic as the normal counterparts #but what it looks like is different #ask game #genderswap au

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one. 

  For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words. 

  Someone to have fun with.

  No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

  Someone to watch Netflix with.

  Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything. 

  Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

  This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

    Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

   ...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

   That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE. 

   The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out. 

  Serial killer much?

  “That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

 “What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

 “Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

  “I’m busy,” I’d defended. 

  “Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

  “Am not!” 

  “You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

  “Did you see him in that suit?” 

  Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.” 

  That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests. 

   Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

  Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself. 

  I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created. 

   Ding!

   I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain? 

  “Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone. 

  Tyler wants to chat!

   I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request. 

  Whoosh. 

  My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

  I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

  I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

  Seconds later, my phone dinged.

  Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

  This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right? 

   But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly? 

   Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

   Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

   Tyler: Hi? 

   Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

   Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

  Y/N: U a fan? 

  Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” 

  He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

   Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

   As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all. 

  Tyler: I give up, you’re really good. 

  Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say. 

  Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me. 

  Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

  Tyler: I guessed that!

   Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

  Tyler: C’mon, barely.

   For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him. 

   On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

   “...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed. 

   Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.” 

   Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.” 

  “Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

  Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.” 

  “Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

  We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

   “But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

  “It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

   “Yup!” I agreed.

  “Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me. 

  We all greeted her.

  “Have a good weekend?” Rue asked. 

  “Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---” 

   Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

  “How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers. 

  “Fine,” Jules said.

  Rue shrugged in response.

  I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket. 

  Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text? 

  I smiled. 

  “You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath. 

  “Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

   I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.” 

   Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me. 

  “Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.” 

  “It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them. 

  I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other. 

  “Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

  “Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

  “It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books. 

  As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

  “Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

  “We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted. 

  “Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

  “Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

  Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.” 

  I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?” 

  As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

  Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

   Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

  “I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

  “Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered. 

  “Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms. 

  She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

  “You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked. 

  “No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

  “Nice,” Jules said. 

  “And scary accurate,” Cassie added. 

  Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.” 

   Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

   “Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

   “Sorry, I was----”

   “Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

   “He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?” 

  “Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said. 

  “Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued. 

  “Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

  “Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

   “I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

  “Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered. 

  “I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted. 

  It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

  “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

  I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened. 

  “Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria. 

  “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped. 

  “Maddy---” 

  “ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked. 

  Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

  “Maddy, we need to talk.” 

  “Don’t talk to me again.” 

  Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps. 

   “I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

  We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night. 

   Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

  Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think. 

  Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

  Tyler: How do u know? 

   Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that. 

  Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad. 

  Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much? 

  Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

  Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

 Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

 Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt? 

  A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

 The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

 “Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection. 

 “Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed. 

  Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?”    “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

  “He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

  My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

  “Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

  “Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

  “Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

  “We can?” Rue asked.

  “We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed. 

  “It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

  “Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

  I nodded.

  “She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

  I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.” 

  After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school. 

  The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

  I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

   “Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

   I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him. 

   “No, not really,” I said. 

   I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline. 

  “Get in,” Nate ordered.

  I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?” 

  “I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

  “We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated. 

  “We can talk during the drive.” 

   I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly. 

   I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

  “How do you know where I live?” I asked.

  “You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

  “When?” 

  “After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

  “Oh, thanks?” 

  “Sure.” 

  We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag. 

  “Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

  “Yeah, see you around, Y/N.” 

  I closed the door and headed inside.

  “I’m home!” I called.

  My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Was that Nate Jacobs outside?” 

  I hesitated. 

  How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like?  “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.” 

  “Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”  

  I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

  “Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

  “What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired. 

  “Don’t you hate him?” 

  “He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

  “Did Maddy see?” 

  “Do you think she’s gonna kill you?” 

  “Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted. 

  They both nodded. 

  “But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

  “Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.” 

  Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

  “You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

  “Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

  Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

  “Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

  I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

  “No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

  “And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

  “Okay.”    After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

  “Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered. 

 “Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures. 

  She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.” 

  I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.” 

  Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

  “No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

  “No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued. 

  “I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.” 

  After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

  “Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

  “Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

  “Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

  “I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.” 

  Jules shrugged. 

  I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

  Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

  We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger? 

  “What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

  I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.” 

  “I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud. 

  “How do you see him now?” Lexi asked. 

  I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.” 

  “Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand. 

  Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?” 

  “No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

  “Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?” 

  “I really, really, really, like him.” 

  “Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

  “Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

  “Okay.” 

  If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person? 

  I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him. 

  Y/N: That did not happen!  Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

 Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

 I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

 Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

 The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

  Almost.

  My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

  “Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

  Y/N: When and where?

    “You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

  I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.”   “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout. 

  “Sure,” I said. 

  Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.” 

 “Thanks?” 

 “Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

 “No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.” 

 “Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said. 

 “You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

  “That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

  “Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail. 

  When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out. 

  “Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

  “I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room. 

  “Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

  Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

  “I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

  “It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?” 

  Rue nodded and sniffled.

   It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

  “Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

  Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework. 

  Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

  I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

  Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right. 

   When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

  “This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented. 

  “I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me. 

  “What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse. 

  Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.” 

  I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now. 

  “Just let me explain,” he requested softly. 

  He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

 “I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?” 

 “No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.” 

 “I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!” 

  “I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

  For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head. 

  “No,” I hiccuped. 

  “I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

  I sniffed. “Us?” 

  At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

  I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece. 

  “Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

  Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified. 

  “Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out. 

  And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could. 

  “Nate...stop!” 

  But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

  “I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

  “So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it. 

  Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.” 

  “What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!” 

  “Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.” 

  “Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel. 

  “Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.” 

   My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!” 

  Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?” 

   I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

   “What do you want?” I asked.

   “Like I said, just be available when I need you.” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

  “Okay,” I said softly.

  “Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.” 

  I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won. 

  I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry. 

  How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day. 

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue. 

  Y/N: U were right. 

#euphoria imagine #nate jacobs imagine

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 29 S4: Joey Wheeler, Dead Again

It took me kind of a while to get around to recapping again, been some drama on this end due to a couple natural disasters all happening in conjunction with eachother, but thankfully we are back in the green (sort of) there’s still wildfire smoke out my window but at least...at least the fires aren’t getting any bigger.

And it’s a shame we didn’t get to it sooner, because this episode has so many wild things in it, I don’t even know where to start. There was a lot of dueling, so I didn’t have to cap a whole lot...but even within such few caps, there’s some stuff to talk about. Like first off, the Kaiba’s inability to walk five feet without getting attacked by someone.

Seto still winning Brother of the year award even after nearly shooting his bro with real ass lightning. Because remember, this lightning is 100% real. None of these are holograms.

And by the way, a “hologram” just grabbed Mokuba with real ass hands and Seto was like “Clearly still a hologram!” Because that is how deep his denial runs.

Anyways, this is where the Kaibas will be until the remainder of this episode, so we’ll just leave them where they are.

(read more under the cut)

Back at the duel between Mai and Joey, we’re slowly working out what it is the Orichalcos even does.

We have had very little indication you can break the Oricalchos control on people’s minds up to this duel, but because Joey showed heart and bravery or whatever--he’s been slowly chipping away at Mai’s crusty, neon green, outer shell.

(I had a littttle bit of a hunger for some Taco Bell Baja Blast, not gonna lie. A little bit tempted because of that weird color. And now that I’ve eaten popcorn, I am 80% itching to drive to Taco Bell and make some mistakes. But I won’t.)

Comparing this to Pharaoh and Kaiba and their Oricalchos duels (even Rex and Weevil’s) it kind of makes you wonder why this never happened.......to anyone else? I mean, obviously it’s plot reasons, but it would have been a little neat to have some character development for the other villains.

But this unnecessary duel to the death between Joey and Mai spends most of the time screaming about how deep and real their love friendship is. Just a whooole bunch of aggressive friendzoning for the lady who just aggressively hates everyone.

(Haven’t seen much of Yugioh Abridged because it’s spoiler territory but everyone who retweets Joey stuff puts “Brooklyn Rage” in there so I have learned the lingo through osmosis.)

So because, someone’s absolutely going to die, lets start going through all of the flashbacks to remind the audience to feel something when they biff it. Lets recite the times we all spent with Mai.

Remember how they brushed Mai under the rug for 3 seasons, and now that they actually need her, they’re shooting themselves in the foot because there’s actually very little evidence that they like eachother at all?

But they do show those few times they hung out: the camping trip where they almost got burned alive by PaniK, that time that Joey caught her smelling her own cards, that time that Yugi had a panic attack because he was convinced Pharaoh would murder her during a card game, that time that she almost got hit by a fireball and then Joey jumped in front of her.

PS, that fireball scene--they keep going back to that fireball scene but they cut out the part where, yes, Joey jumped in front of her--but then Yugi jumped in front of Joey, and then Yami took over and was like EFF YUGI DAMN IT while he got pegged with fireballs. Like...c’mon, Yugioh, there was a lot of fanservice in that particular episode, and you’re leaving out a majority of the ships.

Partial truth, Yugioh--you’re telling partial truths. If we’re saying friendzoning is a good replacement for some sort of romance, then this show is just a giant geometric shape of “who might possibly like who if they weren’t so addicted to friendship.” This show has “friendship” as the underlying tagline of every episode with every person.

In the process of removing romance--they accidentally made SO MUCH MORE romantic implications in this show. I just feel like this backfired in so many ways. Or...maybe this was exactly what they wanted. And by “they” I mean that one writer who stans Seto Kaiba in the back--just sitting there in the corner of the writer’s room tapping his fingers together and cackling like an evil villain. He knows what he did. Genius mastermind, slipping in his favorite ships by making every ship Yugioh-legal.

And, also the Joey/Mai duel was a lot of this type of questionable content:

Joey Freakin Wheeler.

So I forgot if I mentioned this, but my bro had this friend in college who go struck by lightning not once, but multiple times in his life. He lived in like Virginia or North Carolina--one of the monsoon States, and he’d go on this hike to the top of this mountain--and on two different occasions at the same spot, he got stuck by freakin lightning. So like...Joey Wheelers do exist. There are people out there who just...

They’re just lightning rods wherever they go and their brain is somewhat scrambled eggs because of it.

(PS fun fact I googled just now because I couldn’t remember which state Virginia was, a Virginian by the name of Roy Sullivan was supposedly struck by lightning 7 different times and survived all of them. The more you know. ((PS still on the Google deep dive and the same guy also claimed to have been attacked by a bear 22 times (he’s a park ranger, so that checks) and once he was attacked by a bear immediately after he got struck by lightning which is like some pretty pro strats by said bear.)))

But like...kinda weird that Joey’s now kinda into this, and got super into it during a lovers friendship quarrel.

Anyway, all things come to an end, so Mai decides after enough cards have been played and Joey is clearly about to die...maybe it’s time to just accept not being 1st in the world in cards. Which...would have meant she should have been playing Yugi during this duel but, wtv. She clearly wants to be mad at Joey, specifically.

And I think the show didn’t do such a good job explaining why she was focused on Joey and not any of the other duelists until the very end, but we’ll get there. We’ll finally get to an explanation of why she was so fixated on Wheeler, we just have to wait for him to die first.

Because after the lightning strikes, and after putting so much effort into punching Valon right before this...Joey is too sleepy to continue.

So he’s just gonna die here instead...

2nd time he’s passed out in a duel by the way. Remember that Joey almost beat Marik, but was too damn sleepy after the electrocution? Same situation here. Look at that parallel.

Reminder that Joey STARTED this duel.

It’s like when you’re playing a game with a toddler and then it just passes out halfway and without any warning with it’s face just flat into the carpet.

Anyway, Mai grabs him in her arms sobbing all over him like she just did with Valon and it’s like...damn, this girl can just turn it off and on huh? Like she’s only 100% or -100% when it comes to the relationship meter, huh? No in between?

Mmmm cue that irony that Yugioh loves so much, this entire duel was unnecessary, because all you had to do was yoink that necklace.

Really the solution to dealing with a lot of assholes in Yugioh, to be honest.

This really is what Seto says in the show, by the way--a glitch. I like that Seto does not accept that dragons can feel sadness, and is just ITCHING to patch that out in the next release of duel monsters. I imagine that he’ll make a meeting once this is all over with his code team and at the top of the list will be the demand “Make The Dragons Stop Crying.” triple underlined, bold, and in bright red font. The entire code team will side eye eachother, unsure if this is a literal bug or something that Seto just hears all the time but no one else can hear.

So back at the Joey death fort, Mai decides to finally illustrate with words why she had to go so hard on killing Joey wheeler.

It was because she saw his kindness and his help as a weakness and a failure on her part. Mai, who always wants to be independent and in charge, could not accept that someone else had saved her or would want to save her. Which was apparently why she decided to peace out back at the end of the Marik arc.

It’s a bit of a complicated character for a kid’s show, I’m not sure how many kids understood the pride situation here, but it’s nice they stuck in something that wasn’t just “I want to be the best.” It was more that she didn’t want to be helped in order to become the best.

(PS, there’s this flashback scene where Joey’s like “bye” as she drives away and it was unintentionally a very awkward and funny cut and I may grab that little quip. I have to cap a couple of animations, tbh, I haven’t done that in a while)

So, now that she is fully recovered, she decides to complete the parallel of when Joey saved her in a death coma and now she will do the same (although it is SLIGHTLY different since in this version she kind of absolutely killed Joey Wheeler but...still works). She decides to do the job these stupid boys have not been able to do for the entirety of this season.

(these boots are REALLY well drawn, by the way. OBSESSED with Mai’s boots.)

If only she swooped up Pharaoh and just stuck him on the back of her bike to get this final fight going.

But Pharaoh’s too busy getting lost in San Francisco, and stumbling upon Joey’s dead body.

That this is the season where Yami can do nothing right and it just keeps happening.

No idea how we’re going to resurrect Joey in so short a period of time, but we’re completely out of spooky necklaces, so I guess we can’t do the Pharaoh solution to just...stick him back in there.

Anyways, I’m off to recover from the trauma of my house burning down last week, so I’m gonna go eat a pint of ice cream while I dream of a life before quarantine (was there a time before quarantine? I honestly don’t remember)

If you just got here this is a link to these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #recap #episode recap #photo recap #Yugi Muto #Joey Wheeler #Mai Valentine #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Dartz #The Kaiba's #they were there for a few seconds #and just a million flashbacks to make my life as a recapper much much easier #S4 #Ep29

[parkerwhitmore]

TEAM “MAKE SURE PARKER DOESN’T DIE”  PARKER’S PERSONAL STAFF

head of security: charlie wright (thomas gibson fc) secret service agent: anna ziani (sofia boutella fc) public relations expert: sophie lowery (phoebe bridgers fc) personal assistant: janet eichel (natasha lyonne fc) stylist: nadia hall (kylie bunbury fc) advisor: briana walker (golshifteh farahani fc) legal counsel: markus park (john cho fc) spokesperson: juliette sparks (phillipa soo fc)

HEAD OF SECURITY : CHARLIE WRIGHT

charlie has been on parker’s team since 2015, when his mother won the primary and became the democratic nominee for president. he’s the only person that parker truly trusts with his life, and he’s also the only person parker will listen to without asking questions. this level of trust stems from a botched mugging attempt in dc, in which the guy picked the wrong drunk idiot to rob at knife point. parker only half-remembers charlie beating the snot out of the guy, but that moment pretty much cemented their friendship, and parker respects him more than anyone else the white house has hired for him.

charlie believes in the principle of “minding his own business” above all else. while all the other staff will gossip and talk among themselves, charlie will only speak up if he thinks it concerns parker’s safety. he keeps parker’s secrets, even from the president. he was with parker in the smithsonian, and he followed him to seafield house, yet he never uttered a word to his coworkers or the president herself. once michael and parker became official, he was called into a meeting to speak with the president and she questioned him directly on why she wasn’t informed of their relationship, to which he replied, “it didn’t really seem like your problem, ma’am.” 

parker has already decided when his mother’s time in office is up, he’ll keep charlie on staff if he can. parker is pretty sure anyone who can thrive after the whiplash of changing assignments from michelle obama to parker whitmore is someone worth keeping around. plus, he gets along way too well with michael. and when charlie mentioned leaving the secret service, parker knew he wasn’t going to let his favorite secret service agent go without a fight. 

SECRET SERVICE AGENT (SECOND IN COMMAND) : ANNA ZIANI

after a few threats towards all three of the president’s children that were received in the white house mail, anna ziani was chosen to look into the case. she stuck close to parker, who was considered the main target, as the letters were recieved right after the reveal of his relationship. after she tracked him down through social media, she was promoted to a full-time position in parker’s orbit, and eventually she became a part of his traveling team. she is much less serious than charlie, but still completely dedicated to her post. she’s the only secret service agent that will laugh at parker’s jokes, so he considers her his second-favorite. 

PUBLIC RELATIONS : SOPHIE LOWERY

in the wake of parker’s “i’ve been dating the irish prince for a year” scandal, the white house’s entire public relations team walked out. sophie lowery was the head intern at that point, and parker drafted them to help him write responses to inquiries from the press. from then on, parker has kept them as close as he can. they’re all sharp edges, easily pissed off by his antics, but they are always prepared. they even had a statement drafted when parker went swimming in a fountain, because they felt like it “sounded like something parker’s dumbass would try, eventually.” sophie is far more prepared than any boy scout could dream of being. 

PERSONAL ASSISTANT : JANET EICHEL

janet is parker’s fifth personal assistant, the first to last over a month. she’s aggressive, a constant presence in his life that reminds him that “yes, you have to make this call,” and, “no, you cannot get a tattoo on your face, parker, what the fuck was in that drink?” she actually likes him, though, and that is the difference between her and the last four. janet, after she joined his team, was the one who discovered his mother’s deceit about parker’s sexuality being leaked. she told him immediately, because it was the right thing to do. and after you’ve seen a man who’s usually so happy and goofy crumble into a crying mess, how can you dislike him? she grew very close to briana during her second year of work with parker, and they have been dating for almost three years now. 

STYLIST : NADIA HALL

nadia hall met parker at a victoria’s secret fashion show, when they were seated together. she revealed that she was a stylist, and complimented parker’s brightly patterned (yet still disgustingly ugly) shirt, and suddenly she found herself with a very high profile client in the first son of the united states. when asked about her work with him, she’s stated a lot of her job is just convincing parker to stop wearing cargo shorts and flip flops. “you can take the boy out of the frat, but you can’t take the frat out of the boy,” she joked, once, to vogue. her job is a difficult one, because she has to combat frat fashion and the parker’s desire to dress in clothes he bought at old navy in 2011, while also working with twelve other clients. parker, of course, is her biggest headache. 

ADVISOR : BRIANA WALKER

briana was hired to advise parker, but often she finds that she’s playing second fiddle to janet in that respect. while janet understands parker, briana is the one with practical know-how. she understands politics, knows how changing a seating arrangement will change the outcome of an entire event. she, honestly, wouldn’t be able to handle this job without the help of janet, because parker and her do not get along at all. she’s a bit too abrasive, and not in that loving way that the others have mastered. she’s just built to take no bullshit, and parker is constantly throwing the worst case scenario at her, making her life even harder. she thinks if parker would take anything seriously for one goddamn second, she might be able to be his friend, but that isn’t something she sees happening in the near future. 

LEGAL COUNSEL : MARKUS PARK

markus was retained as parker’s lawyer after he was sued in the wake of a bar fight in morgantowan that he still swears he did not start. markus managed to convince the judge of that, and they won the case. ever since, he’s been the lawyer for all thee of the first children. ask anyone and they’ll tell you that you need a lawyer on retainer for someone like parker. he’s a walking lawsuit. every time he has more than two drinks he ends up doing something stupid, so charlie has markus on speed dial to smooth over some of the insane things that he gets into. before he met the first son, he never knew some of the insane things one could get into under the influence of alcohol. basically, he’ll never be able to eat at a waffle house again after working for parker. 

SPOKESPERSON : JULIETTE SPARKS

juliette is a very recent hire, and it’s practically unheard of for a first child to have a spokesperson at all, but parker has decided he needed to have his own professional voice in the american political sphere. she honestly hasn’t had much work to do just yet, but with the election upcoming, she’ll be giving statements and swaying public opinion away from kathleen whitmore as subtly as she can. she was chosen because parker decided that he needed someone in his corner, after the white house decided to allow several untrue stories to be published because of their carelessness. 

#hshqtask028 #anyways i love his staff and his staff only #charlie gets like a lot bc i keep talking about him in threads so he lives rent free in my mind

[bodyswapmischief]

Authentic Costumes: Gladiators

-Yes! The costumes came!

Andrew walked back into the living room, with a simple brown postal box. Jack stopped what he was doing, and looked at his friend.

-Good. They were cutting it pretty late. I mean the party is in 2 hours.

-Well, no need to complain anymore. Hurry let's bust them out and start getting ready. The site said the transformation process will take about an hour.

The two friends worked together to open the box. Inside were two authentic gladiators costumes and two jars of glowing purple liquid. In addition, there was a file describing the costumes in more detail.

- "Octavius and Maximus" Wow those are some bad-ass names. Apparently, they were the Ancient Roman's version of a tag team. It says that they were undefeated, loved by the roman people, and were able to retire, with a comfortable amount of winnings from their triumphs. If I'm reading this correct these potions will transform us into Octavius and Maximus at the height of their careers.

-It, also, says that Maximus was the stronger of the two. So ... I'll be taking this vial.

-Aww come on ...

- No dude. Look at the size of this armor both these guys must have been so ripped. It's not going to matter that I'm going to be slightly stronger than you. Besides, I'm the one that paid for them.

-Fine, fine, fine. Well here goes nothing. Cheers.

-Cheers

Both guys remove the tops on their jars and drink the purple liquid. Jack becoming Maximus. And, Andrew becoming Octavius. An intense sensation starts filling thier bodies, as with each heart beat the glowing liquid spreads through every vein in their body.

-Dude, I don't feel so ... good. I'm getting ... pretty dizzy ... and tired. My heart is beating ... too fast.

-Just calm down. It affecting me too. The instructions says it affects everyone differently. Just try to sleep it off. But, I feel great. Damn, I feel pumped. I feel ... I feel ... I feel ...

And, like that Andrew fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Jack slowly started drifting off. The last thing his drowsy eyes saw was hair filling up his chest. And, was his stomach bulging out?

Dreams of being in the arena filled their mind, until Jack started coming into consciousness. His body felt heavy and swore. He was feeling the effects of the hard life style of the gladiator's life. Still unable to shake the sleepiness out of his eyes. He rubbed his face, with his hand. His arms felt heavy and strong. And, his hands were rough against his breaded face.

Slowly he moved to lay on his side. As he did, he felt a strange pressure on his stomach move with him. Completing the turn to his side, he felt his stomach extend far beyond his body. At this point, Jack quickly sat up and finally forced himself awake. He stared at his naked body, as his clothes were ripped around him. The sight of his belly and and moobs blocked anything underneath his gut.

He looked to the body next to him. Andrew, also, got fat and hairy. But, not as fat as Jack, now was. It also seemed like Andrew's new body had a height advantage, which helped him look slimmer.

Jack got off the floor and ran to the nearest mirror, his body jiggling with every step. All though he took up more space, the world around him seemed a bit bigger. He saw his reflection and screamed. His fears were confirmed. He was fat, short, and looked way older. The loud rough deep gladiatorial scream woke up Andrew, and he shot straight up.

-What ... what! What going on! Wait Jack ... what going ... is that you? What up with my body?

Andrew was now exploring his stocky body.

-What the fuck dude! You got the wrong package. This has to be some kind of joke costume. Why am I so fat and short compared to you. I thought I was supposed to be the better one.

-No it can't be wrong, I made sure. These are supposed to be authentic gladiator costumes. I'll call up. Something had to go wrong.

-You better. We can't go to the frat party like this. The costumes are the only thing that fit us, now. I'd be fine showing off my body if we were fit. But, I don't want to walk around shirtless with this gut. Not to mention, the fact that we look way to old now to be at a college party.

Andrew called the costume company. He explained what happened and the mumbled voice started answering his questions.

- So, what did they say?

- Okay. Don't be mad.

-Why...?

-Well there is nothing wrong with the costume. This is how authentic gladiator look like. Apparently they were all fat vegetarians. In fact, it seems like your current body type made for the best gladiator. It's seem to be a common misconception that they are buff, because of Hollywood. And, if we wanted to be hot gladiators we should have ordered the Hollywood gladiators package.

-Damn this fucking sucks. Shit! Well we can't go to the party now. I guess I'll post mates us some bigger clothes. How old would you say I look. 45? I guess there gotta be something a middle aged man can do on Halloween. Maybe a bar or something. I mean we still gotta make the most of tonight. I guess it will be kinda fun. I mean we won't be this age for another 25 years and tonight we will be able to legally drink. It's kinda like seeing our future selves, but hopefully I won't get this fat.

Jack started laughing. Andrew, who remained quiet, started up again.

-Well ... um .... there is actually more. Remember don't get mad. I'm sure we'll be able to laugh about this later.

-What!? What are you talking about.

-Well ... you see ... this authentic package is mainly bought by people you work in areas were this body is best suited for. Like gladiator impersonator, construction worker, or any other person who wants to be a big beefy guy.

-Yes ... and ...what?

-Well ... these type of people need the costumes for more more than one night. So, they sell the transformation liquid in a bundle.

-What? So we are stuck like this for a work week? Are you fucking serious. We have class tomorrow. I have test. I can't take it looking like a completely different person.

-No not a week. We were supposed to take a drop. That would have lasted a 24 hours. But, the jar has enough drops to last a year. So, we are stuck like this, at least until, next Halloween.

-What the fuck! What are we going to do? We can't stay like this?

-I know ... I know. But customer service is going to handle it. This isn't the first time this has happened. They got a connection with witness protection. So, for a year we are gonna have new lives. But, ... um ... there also might be a chance that we are stuck like this.

-What!?

-Like, I said it affects everyone differently. We drank a whole jar. Costumer service said most people, in cases like ours, revert back to normal. But, some also change permanently. We won't find out until next Halloween.

Jack felt tears welling up in his eyes. HIs body was shaking with rage. He was mad at Andrew for not researching enough. He was mad at himself for wanting to do this in the first place. He hated his new body. Even being in Andrew's new body would have been better. These strong emotions were rising to the surface.

Jack Slammed into Andrew. Their skin pressed against each other. Suddenly muscle memory took over, as the bodies wrestled against each other. It was like a dance these two bodies practiced for a life time. It just felt natural. They way their skin touched and the power of their bodies filled both men with passionate aggression. Finally, Jack was able to pin down Andrew. He looked into Andrew's eyes and smiled lovingly.

-I win again

Jack leans down and begins kissing Andrew. They moan as their bodies and tongues rub against each other. Suddenly they both snapped out of it.

Jack quickly gets off of Andrew

-What the fuck was that?

- I don't know it was like our bodies went on auto pilot. This must been something these bodies have always done. You know it wasn't strange for gladiators to have sex with each other.

-oh shut up!

They both just sat in silence. There bodies sore and heavy. Both men now looked at each other in a different light. In their new bodies they found each other extremely attractive. They minds were screaming no, but the urges in their body were getting stronger. They both got up and faced each other. Their bellies were pressed against each other. And before they could continue their love making there was a knock on the door, as two police officers came in. They came to escort the two men to their new lives. Their futures where unknown, but the two men were happy they had each other.

#male body swap mischief #body swap mishief #weight gain #body swap

[warehouse13pod]

Show Notes 108A Duped - Part 1

Down the rabbit hole we go, Agents!

Here they are! At long, long last—the show notes for 108 “Duped!”

These notes cover 108 “Duped” Part 1.

You can listen to it in this embedded player:

Or on Youtube:

Let’s jump right in! 

Miranda and I started this episode with some fun facts about ourselves. Mine was that I once got a pillow from Sargento that said “Sweet dreams are made of cheese,” because I complimented it online.

First of all, here’s the song it references.

Now, here are the tweets of how it happened. Here’s the Tweet I saw from Warehouse 13 co-creator and legendary TV writer/producer, Jane Espenson and the conversation that followed:

And at this very moment, that pillow is serving as a laptop cushion.

Now, onto the show.

This week’s writer appreciation focused on another writing team, Benjamin Raab and Deric A. Hughes who shared some awesome behind-the-scenes pix with us on twitter! After we released the episode, Ben tweeted at us and told us the crew let Ben and Deric cameo on every episode they wrote/produced. Here’s the pic from “Duped!” They were on the elevator with Pete!

We got that tweet and some good corrections and fun facts from Ben and Deric themselves! What up, dudes‽

Miranda says that we start the episode “en media res” which means “in the middle of things” in Latin. Here’s a link to what it means in terms of narrative storytelling.

Later, we also compared Myka’s dress in the pilot…

…to her dress in Duped.

Great work by the costuming/hair/makeup team on emphasizing all the subtle ways that Myka was Not Normal™

Because we love to give due credit, so, the people responsible are

Costuming: Joanne Hanson

Hair: Susan Exton-Stranks

Makeup: Marie Nardella

We also have a good laugh talking about how Pete miscategorizes Alice in Wonderland as Chick Lit.

Alice in Wonderland is obviously not Chick Lit (although there’s nothing wrong with Chick Lit).

This led us to a brief discussion of how Miranda’s sister trolls her by calling “Doctor Who” Mister Who. That already wasn’t accurate, but now it’s especially inaccurate as The Doctor is a woman! As a side note, I personally would buy a T-Shirt that said “Mister Who” on it just to make a laugh. Anyone else? Anyone?

Next up, Miranda noticed that Pete was wearing a North Canton, Ohio t-shirt and connected the dots that Eddie McClintock himself is from North Canton. Further proof that Eddie and Pete are essentially the same person.

Speaking of Eddie, this is also the episode where we learned that Eddie was voted the 82nd Sexiest Man Alive, according to TVBuddy. Alas, alack, the link to the list is now dead. So I can’t link it. I tried.

Next, we talked about how amazing Eddie is at doing an impersonation of Myka sticking her neck out when she’s mad.

In the Warehouse, an artifactified disco ball plays Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.”

Here’s that song:

When Act II starts we get some really orange lighting that plays right into our color theory. I couldn’t find a picture of that scene and Amazon won’t let me screenshot, but, in general, most cinematography of Myka in this episode is very orange. Here are a couple examples of how orange most things are that involve Alice in this episode:

Then we talked about how weird it was when Myka actually took one of Artie’s pastries.

Actual footage of my face when she took one:

Actual footage of my face when she took SECONDS:

Then we got the introduction of Gary and Jillian Whitman—this week’s red herring bad guys and focus of this week’s dual Actor’s Spotlight, courtesy of Miranda.

Gary was played by Niall Matter.

Miranda recommended watching the TV show he was on called The Best Years.

Jillian (my name-thief) was played by Erica Cerra.

Miranda noticed a subtle Walt Whitman reference and gave the dates of his life and Lewis Carroll’s/Charles Dodgson’s life.

Walt Whitman: 1819 - 1892

Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson: 1832 - 1898

There will be a lot more information about Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson in the show notes for Part 2 of this episode.

Then we talked about how Artie was a tad too aggressive in telling Claudia to “back off!” and how this all reminded us of a scene in The Importance of Being Earnest where two characters grumpily eat cakes. Miranda later specified that it reminded her of the scene where Jack and Algernon eat muffins. Meanwhile, it reminded me of the scene where Gwendolen and Cecily get passive-aggressive over whether tea should be enjoyed with bread and butter or with cake.

Here’s a snippet of the scene Miranda was thinking of:

 Algernon.  If it was my business, I wouldn’t talk about it.  [Begins to eat muffins.]  It is very vulgar to talk about one’s business.  Only people like stock-brokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

Jack.  How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out.  You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.

Algernon.  Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner.  The butter would probably get on my cuffs.  One should always eat muffins quite calmly.  It is the only way to eat them.

Jack.  I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.

Here’s a snippet of the scene I was thinking of:

Cecily.  May I offer you some tea, Miss Fairfax?

Gwendolen.  [With elaborate politeness.]  Thank you.  [Aside.]  Detestable girl!  But I require tea!

Cecily.  [Sweetly.]  Sugar?

Gwendolen.  [Superciliously.]  No, thank you.  Sugar is not fashionable any more. [Cecily looks angrily at her, takes up the tongs and puts four lumps of sugar into the cup.]

Cecily.  [Severely.]  Cake or bread and butter?

Gwendolen.  [In a bored manner.]  Bread and butter, please.  Cake is rarely seen at the best houses nowadays.

Cecily.  [Cuts a very large slice of cake, and puts it on the tray.]  Hand that to Miss Fairfax.

[Merriman does so, and goes out with footman.  Gwendolen drinks the tea and makes a grimace.  Puts down cup at once, reaches out her hand to the bread and butter, looks at it, and finds it is cake.  Rises in indignation.]

Gwendolen.  You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake.  I am known for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far. 

Both of those scenes take place in Act II.

If you read nothing else in these show notes STOP AND WATCH THE FOLLOWING CLIP!

Here’s a clip from an early movie adaptation of The Importance of Being Earnest that features my favorite line delivery of anything ever:

Good luck ever looking at a handbag without thinking of that again.

While we’re on the subject, I played Cecily in the Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m legally obligated to share a couple photos of that as proof:

As a final note on the matter, you can read the entire play from project Gutenberg here (and I recommend that you do, because it’s one of my all-time faves.).

Later, Miranda and I wondered if the infinity tattoo on Myka’s ankle was Joanne Kelly’s or was something Alice did when they got to Vegas. I think someone tweeted at us about this awhile ago. If anyone has that info, I’ll update the show notes with that and credit to the Tweeter.

After that, we discussed Myka’s/Alice’s casual mention of Carson’s Rule of Linear Transfer and her assertion that it means “forced outcomes require tangency.” I posited that this rule is not a mathematic or scientific principle but rather a warehouse-specific rule. The only Carson’s Rule that Miranda and I could find when researching this was an unrelated rule about bandwidth. If you’re super into telecommunications, you can read more about Carson’s Banwidth Rule here.

Backing up a little bit in the episode, we discussed a little bit about the history of disco and disco clubs via exerpts from a written interview with Professor Carol Cooper.

She spoke with us about Studio 54, Vaughn Harper, and the roots of a Studio 54 laying in a black-owned club called Leviticus.

I didn’t mention it in the episode, but that makes the club in Empire (also named Leviticus) a truly nicely named homage to history. Bustle.com did a deep dive on that fact here.

Relatedly, when the disco ball drops earlier in the warehouse, Claudia does her own take on the Saturday Night Fever dance…

…then devastates Artie by incorrectly dating the Disco Era. Find approximate dates and more info here.

Then Miranda compared Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

First of all, the episode of Buffy that we referenced was Season 4, Episode 16 “Who Are You?”

Second of all, we made a Buffy reference, so… You know… Take a shot.

Then we talked about Myka’s reaction to Pete referencing a rabbit’s foot as a lucky charm.

That was both a great reference to the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland…

…and a great reference to keychains from the 1990s and early 2000s. For those who don’t understand that reference, I was gonna link to some funny pictures from that era, but googling “rabbit’s foot” actually led me to down a sad path, so… like.. Not gonna share that.

Then we talked about how Pete saying “Kirk out

…was an improvised line that referenced Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek: The Original Series and the communicators they used as well as to the flip phones from the era just before warehouse 13 premiered.

Then, both Ben Raab and Eddie McClintock explained that the reaction on set to Eddie saying “Kirk out!” looked something like this…

…until the network gave them the all-clear.

Winding things down for this episode, Miranda and I figured out what a Roulette table looked like:

…and appreciated Claudia’s knowledge of CIA laser mics. Turns out, laser microphones are really a thing!

Finally, for this week’s

~HEAVY THEMES~

…we talked about how off-putting Miranda and I found it when Alice (as Myka) drank both on the job and in front of Pete.

Not all people in recovery are triggered when people drink around them, but some are.

Here is an article from American Addiction Centers on how best to support an alcoholic and support their recovery.

If anyone has resources that they find helpful, we’re always happy to add them to these show notes or create a page devoted to resources for things discussed in our Heavy Themes sections. 

And, with that, we are done with Part 1!

 See you next time, Agents.

#108 Duped #108 Duped Part 1 #108 A Duped #108 A Duped Part 1 #108 #heavy themes #alice in wonderland #alice liddell #vegas #las vegas #lewis carol #studio 54 #disco

[abcreid]

His Affection (2)

Spencer Reid x OC (Original Character)

Hi guys! Finally i can post this new part of the story. Sorry for waiting for so long i had a writer block and i had no idea for all this time. And i want to thank @princessjellyfishbitch for helping me proofread this part and im so greatful she wanted to help me. Enjoy the story!

Part 1

Masterlist

-

3rd Day of Work

You woke up from a nightmare. You were dreaming of him, again. And it’s been only a few days since he appeared, yet again, in your mind. You can’t forget how he was. His smells, his touch, his everything. How hurt he was when he left you.

But you have to move on, Anna.

You took a shower as quickly as you could. You have to go to the salon to get your hair braided. You peered at your face in the mirror. You can do this. This is what you've wanted for months. Move away from D.C., start a new life, make new friends, and get into a new relationship. That was your plan, at least. You put your medium hoop earrings on and placed the rest of your diamond studs back into the 7 piercings you had running all the way up your ears. You were thinking about getting your tragus or rook pierced next, but that had to wait until you were less busy.

“You moved on, Anastasia. You have a new life and new friends. Be nice to your friends. Be a good person!” You ended your little pep talk with a smile, then you got dressed and walked out of your apartment building.

You drove to the nearest salon you knew of. It was a big salon that was usually filled with customers, but not this morning. It’s too early for anyone to come in to get their hair done. You entered and was greeted by the receptionist.

“Hi, Miss, what can I help you with? Do you have an appointment?” The receptionist greeted you first with a smile, but you didn’t return the gesture. It feels unfamiliar for you to be friendly with other people, especially with those you don’t know.

“Anna Harper.” You told her your name and she searched for you in the appointment book.

“Miss Harper, come with me.” The owner of the salon called you and you followed her. “Have a seat, Miss.” She patted the white leather chair, then turned to the stylist sweeping leftover hair from her last client. “Lea, please treat Miss Harper well.”

She looked back at you through the mirror and patted your shoulders. “I will leave you with her, Miss Harper.”

You replied with a curt, silent nod and the owner left you with your stylist. Part of you wanted to stop putting up a cold front, but you didn’t think it was the right time. Your stylist ran her fingers through your hair and separated the strands into three sections, expertly weaving them into the intricate style.

“You work at the FBI? That’s cool. My name is Lea, by the way.” She giggled as she tried to strike up a conversation. Your rock hard heart wasn't touched by her kindness.

You just stared at her in silence while she styled your hair. “Sorry, I just... you know trying to warm the situation,” she grinned and you remained stoic in your expression. “Oh, is that your engagement ring? Wow, congratulations, Agent Anna! You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met in my life! And who’s the lucky guy?”

You looked for a while at your silver ring with a big diamond nestled in the middle. That moment still fits perfectly in your memories. You still remember precisely how he proposed to you, with every single detail still fresh in your mind. How he surprised you by bringing along your parents, brother, and friends. It was a very beautiful moment that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. He feigned sickness while you were at the mall, causing you to rush back home, no longer caring about your trivial errands. You arrived home to find both your families gathered together in the living room and your boyfriend, Tony, nowhere in sight. But then he arrived, looking not the slightest bit ill. You looked around in confusion until the love of your life kneeled on one knee, pulled out a navy blue velvet box from his coat pocket, and opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever laid your eyes on.

The memory faded when you put together the fact that you hadn’t realized you were still wearing the ring Tony had given you six months before. Putting on your ring every day had become such a normal part of your morning routine that you hadn’t noticed you’d been doing it despite it being over for so long.

“Just braid my hair, okay? That’s none of your business,” you snapped back at her harshly, but you didn’t regret it. She inadvertently opened your wound again, and now you can’t stop thinking about Tony again.

An hour passed by when you finally reached the 6th floor of the FBI building. Today, you wore a formal burgundy-colored dress with matching heels. You made sure to bring your handbag as well as your go bag. You smoothed your fingers over the silky leather of your evening coat as the door to the elevator slid open.

“Oh My God! Look who’s coming.” Morgan’s eyes couldn’t leave your elegant figure. Your appearance stunned everyone, including the doctor who just came from the break room. “Reid, look who’s coming.” Morgan nudged his colleague and pointed at you with his eyes as you sauntered indifferently to your desk. Spencer froze as his eyes fell upon your beautiful face. His body felt warm and he felt his heart quicken as he observed your reserved, but misunderstood demeanor. Every time he saw you, he felt like life got a little bit brighter for him.

You unloaded your belongings and tried to ignore their blatant gawking. But that obviously failed when the most excitable woman on earth pops out of nowhere to greet you, thanks to JJ informing her of your presence.

“Holy shit! Anna! You’re so beautiful. That dress, that braided hair, your hoop earrings, seriously? That anklet, are those Salvatore Ferragamo heels? Are you going to a fashion show or coming in to work as an FBI agent? OMG, you just ended me right here in this boring office, Anna! Damn it! I’ve known since your first day that you were secretly a fashionista! You are my guru! Teach me your ways, oh can I know what size your shoes are?” Garcia fired question after question at you with hardly a breath in between, let alone giving you enough time to answer. Before you could reply, and before Garcia could ramble on any longer, Emily cut in with a more practical point of view.

“Are you going to wear those heels in the field? What about your boots? Your earrings are too big and that dress? You won’t be comfortable wearing that outfit out on the field today, Anna.” Emily aggravated you with her redundant lecturing.

You retaliated by aggressively snatching your go bag from your desk and thrusting it in her direction. “I have everything I need and I’ll be changing into more practical clothing before we go. At least for me, first impressions matter,” you sneered, not taking too kindly to her criticism.

“Emily, don’t scold our Garcia-approved fashion guru.” Rossi interrupted the impending argument after being attracted by the commotion.

Something caught Garcia’s eyes when you turned back to face Emily. She saw the nape of your neck and gasped in surprise. “Wait, you have a tattoo? A cross tattoo?”

You spun back around to face Garcia, once again and frowned in response. “Yes. And I read the Legal Handbook three times to make sure there were no rules that banned agents having and/or displaying tattoos.”

“Legal Handbook? You read it? I’ve never even read it. I didn’t even know it existed. Kinda like agreeing to the terms and conditions,” JJ admitted, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I read it,” Spencer piped in to support you, the only other person who read the handbook. “I read it 10 times when I didn’t have any books to read. And she’s right, there are no rules related to tattoos. You have a very cool tattoo, Anna.” Spencer tried to make sure he evened out his breathing and tone so that he seemed nonchalant when speaking to you. He feels like there is something unusual that happens to him when it comes to you.

“Reid has found his nerd mate!” Morgan announced and playfully shoved Spencer’s shoulder towards you.

“Alright, children, we have a new case. I will brief you all on the jet. Wheels up in 30,” Hotch announced, trying to deescalate the situation. He looked at you for a few moments, like he didn’t know what to say to you. More like he was admiring your beauty. “You look so nice, Harper,” He commented, then walked back to his office. You were genuinely flattered by Hotch’s praise and smirked.

“First impressions matter, everyone,” You repeat to everyone proudly. You smiled inside because you proved them wrong today. And maybe from Spencer admiring your tattoo and sticking up for you. You shook your head to get that thought out of your head. You didn’t care for him. You wouldn’t if you could help it.

-

You sit in a coffee shop near the hotel you and the team were staying at for the last few days. You brought your case file, cigarettes, cell phone, and small satchel which held your money, ID card, lighter, and headphones.

You took a sip of your coffee while your mind wandered elsewhere. Your eyes scanned your case file without actually reading it. You were too preoccupied with other thoughts to absorb any information. You were listening to music to drown out the sounds surrounding you in the small cafe.

You didn’t ask anyone to accompany you, still not being comfortable with anyone on your team. It’s still only your 3rd day at the BAU, but you made progress. While out in the field, Hotch paired you with himself, and you actually managed to talk to him in a relatively cordial manner. Only about the case, of course. But it was a huge step for you.

You flicked open your lighter open and lit the end of your cigarette and took a deep breath, inhaling the strong chemicals, letting your throat and chest fill with warmth. You exhaled the smoke through your nostrils, then took another drag. You finish off that cigarette and immediately light up another. You keep going until you finished the whole box. Not yet satisfied, you pulled out another box from your bag, and continue your chain-smoking.

You spot Spencer across the street and he waves at you, making his way towards the table you were sitting at. You were shocked by his appearance and pulled out the gel headphones from your ears, putting out you half-finished cigarette into the ceramic ashtray in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” you asked incredulously, shocked that he was awake at midnight and managed to run into you at this small coffee shop. You expected the whole team to be resting up in their hotel rooms.

“I was looking for you. I knocked on your door multiple times and you didn’t answer, and I started to think you might be out blowing off steam. Are you smoking?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in response. He must've seen you exhale smoke when he walked up to you and could see the half-full ashtray with a few embers still burning from the last lit cigarette you put out. Why would he ask a question with such a glaringly obvious answer?

“Why were you looking for me? Do you need anything?” You asked him as calmly as you could because you really wanted to try to make an effort in getting along with your team.

He smiled and sat beside you. “Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you. What are you listening to? I was staring at you for 5 minutes straight, and you seemed to only be focused on smoking listening to something through your headphones.”

You stared at him with disbelief. What was he trying to do? Observing you so intently and for so long, with a reason that you couldn’t seem to come up with at the moment. “You can tell me whatever you want if you need someone to talk to. I’m here, Anna. I’m here ready to listen to all of the stories you keep bottled up inside.”

You were shocked by what he said. Many people have told you similar things, but Spencer seemed to be the only one who actually meant it.

tags:  @i-m-never-the-one @chocok22 @shugarrush0101 @jason-gideon-is-my-dad, @cynbx, @literallyprentissstwin, @literallyreid, @princessjellyfishbitch, @eideticreid, @saltedfire, @everyday-imfangirling, @stories-you-wont-hear, @dontshootmespence, @yukitsubute @pandedios-carli @spencerreiddaily @spencerreidreads @spence-imagines @reid-effect @lil-loki @bloodylollipopkid @starsshines-blog @photogrxphinggg @queenofthehobos @twosaylorghosts @thatwrestlingfan91 @qu3n-elizab3th @girl-wonder-rxid @romee125 @scatchia @nomajdetective

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #Criminal Minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #dr spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid fanfic #dr spencer reid x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x oc #dr spencer reid x oc #criminal minds x oc #abcreidpost

[thelastarchangelaskblog]

Session 10

I never did a summary of our 10th session and we just had our 11th today. Anyway, here’s what happened in Session 10 (so much).

**

(Read more.)

Zira ( @heliocentricgeometric​), Rhodey ( @rebaobsessions​), and myself retrieved DJ (doxblogsstuff) from wandering out lost in the forest while clutching a boquet of flowers to entice Luna. Alas, Luna had already left for greener pastures to get to Bob.

Oh yeah, something else happened directly pre-this session but that’s a text rp thing. Anyway, Bob traumatized Tony. It was very bad but led to some sweet conversations.

It’s discovered Luna can turn into a rabbit.

DJ: A rabbit?

Zira: Yeah.

DJ: ...Why? 

Zira: It just be like that sometimes.

DJ is wet from trying to throw water over Tony and Bob and only succeeding on getting it on himself and one of Tony’s shoes. Tony grabs a blanket from his bag of holding to dry him off.

@the-grey-hunt​ as DM: You're adventurers and you don't even have towels?

inu: I don't see towels in my inventory, I'm using a cloak.

reba: Tony’s being Dad(TM) at DJ.

There was mention of a cart in our last text RP.

DM: We don't have a cart, and I don't know why people keep thinking we do. 

DJ tries hanging his clothes on a tree branch to dry.

dox: The boy's three feet tall so we all know how well that goes.

Zira tries to wake up Bob ( @thechaoticwave​) and Luna ( @imagine1117​) who fell asleep on the roadside.

Zira: Hey. Hey. Heyheyhey hey.

Tony’s being Tony and is just aggressively ignoring everybody.

Zira: Hey, Rhodey, I think Tony is avoiding his problems.

Bob and Luna wake up!

Sam: What's good? 

Zira: Nothing is good! Ever! Let's go!

DJ, at Luna: You didn't tell me you could rabbit!!

Luna: I can rabbit?

Zira: Correct.

Zira is concerned about the party’s mental health!

Zira: I may not be legally a doctor...

Zira really wants us to talk things out now!

Tony: I don't think any of us are in the mood for emotionally fraught conversations.

Zira: I'm always in the mood for emotionally fraught conversations!

Tony does not engage in emotionally fraught conversations. Emotionally fraught conversations are not had.

thechaoticwave: Sam (Bob) flies over to Luna and just cats on her.

Zira has demanded a fairy tale/story from Tony, and he’s happy enough to oblige.

Zira, very quietly: ...stories......yay!

I tell a very long fairy tale I wrote during a backstory scene. it works out great and everyone likes it.

Later Zira tells everyone we can’t die.

Zira: It's illegal for you people to die. I just decided.

Luna: What's the penalty if we die?

DJ: She’ll aggressively mourn you until you feel bad and come back to life.

DJ gets a piggy-back ride from Rhodey for some reason that I can’t remember, which leads to a discussion on heights.

Zira: Your height is built on lies and Rhodey.

Zira: I'm average height for an aasimar.

Tony: Ehhhh, not...that average.

Zira: Well, I don't know! And how do you know anyway?

Tony (internally): Uh, shit.

Tony: I’ve met a few aasimar on my travels. They’re pretty obvious.

Zira: How tall are aasimar, then?

Tony indicates about his height or a little shorter.

Zira: That's...stupid. I like this height better.

That night Zira would like to contact Zaphkiel, her celestial guide.

DM: Zaphkiel is still charging his Nokia.

Gabriel has a Dream! He tries to find Mortimer, but doesn’t find Mortimer. He does find...Balthazar?! 

DM describing new character: He looks a little more genuinely scruffy, but his shirt is still open almost to his bellybutton. it's so weird because your shirt doesn't have buttons, but his does and they're not done up.  

We’re both really shocked to see each other, and it soon comes out that Balthazar is also in Othanzia with Hannah and has been for a while. And Gabriel’s family has broken apart since his absence.

Balthazar: If, on the off chance you are Gabriel, where the fuck have you been?

Gabriel doesn’t have any answers for Balthazar he can give beyond trying to tell him that he’s in Othanzia and somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Gabriel: Briarbane? 

Balthazar: Never heard of it. 

Gabriel: EXACTLY

Gabriel tries to tell Balthazar what happened with Samael/Lucifer and two of their other missing siblings, but Balthazar doesn’t want to believe him, and Gabriel wakes up.

DJ tries making toast again that morning.

Helio: I need to know what the outcome was!

DM: 18. it's good toast.

Helio: FUCK

DJ discusses his bombs (I think?).

DJ: I'm not dead yet. 

Zira: YET

Zira has plans to get Tony and Bob to talk to each other.

DJ (to Zira, who is walking away yelling at Bob and Tony): Are you sure you want to ignore Mom?

Tony and Bob are forced to talk to each other. thechaoticwave is absolutely fantastic at crying, and Tony feels really bad but he’s pretty firm on them needing answers or it’s not going to work out. And then leaves because he can’t deal with the conversation any further.

The next night Gabriel has another Dream and meets Joshua. Still no Mortimer, but Joshua? And Joshua is the only one still left at Gabriel’s old home. Everyone else has left. Some to explore the world and others (Michael, Raphael, and Naomi) to hunt down the Horned Crown.

It’s a calmer conversation than the one Gabriel had with Balthazar but no less upsetting. But he does learn a lot more about what’s happened since he left!

And the next day we finally reach the last dungeon of the opening module! And there’s...things. And a pit.

inu: Ae you just going to tell me it's a rope?

DM: No, there's things.

inu rolls a 5

DM: Ehh it's a rope!

We climb down a pit. Except JARVIS. He jumps and Rhodey manages to catch him but gets some damage while doing so.

Tony: I hope you've learned a lesson to not jump down pits and expect our fiances to catch us. 

Rhodey: Am I engaged to JARVIS now, too?

10 sturgis attack us while we’re exploring!

thechaoticwave: 5 points of fire damage.

DM: 5?! That's all their hit points!

Tony goes off by himself and opens a door before Rhodey can stop him. There are 3 ghouls in it.

Rhodey is unhappy with this arrangement.

Reba: Is it possible for me to roll athletics to pick up Tony and move him?

Rhodey proceeds to shove Tony to the side to attack the ghouls.

Tony: RUDE.

Bob: hey ghouls, its me, ya boi.

The ghouls have the most ridiculous names.

DM: Thus ends Robtholomew.

Luna gets her poison spray cantrip in! And it hits!

...

The one time Luna's Poison Spray cantrip hits, the creature is immune to poison damage

imagine: Luna's gonna try and lob [the ghoul's] head off.

DM: Roll for beheading.

Later we enter a large hall filled with skeletons. Zira’s asking Zaphkiel for...something.

DM: [Zaphkiel]'s Nokia is at cell phone repair.

There’s a cool forge in one room! DJ and Tony both go to investigate before the DM even finishes describing the room. ...There are zombies.

They attack Tony and DJ.

Tony (to the zombies): First of all, rude. Second of all, fuck you.

Rhodey joins the fight and at one point...

Rhodey rolls a nat 1 but his strength is So Good and the undead's AC So Bad that Rhodey manages to hit it.

And DJ hits one with a quarterstaff!

DJ: Why, hello there! Would you like me to whack you? Yes, yes, you would.

Bob and Luna team up with a fire spell and a thorn thing and trap a lot of zombies. And that’s the end of Session 10! Session 11 saw us defeat the dungeon boss!

#d&d campaign #thechaoticwave #doxblogsstuff #imagine1117 #rebaobsessions #the-grey-hunt #heliocentricgeometric

[thesunshinedissociation]

A Maria-Centric View of Our System

I realized this morning that my hope when I tell friends about our plurality is that they’ll assume they’ve been interacting with several of us and thus their feelings towards the presumed singlet will just be re-understood as towards at least several of us, if not the whole system. But also as far as I know we haven’t really told anyone how to tell us apart. So, from my point of view, here’s something of a description of each of us. (Thankfully, as far as I can tell, I have a nice spot in the system for this.) I’ll go from most to least active. 

Maria: Me. Self-description is probably the hardest, but as best I can tell, I’m the one who’s best able to get desires going. Especially for pleasure. Like, whereas the others will be very lost trying to find something they want, I can be somewhat hedonistic at times. I also do get a lot done, which is good since I also have a lot of energy and a really good tolerance for being alone.  Some people don’t seem to like me as much, especially after some of my more reckless decisions. (I just noticed my name is one letter away from mania...) Which has made me all the more aware of how okay I am with being alone. Also, I feel about fifteen years old inside, and it can be kinda scary at times since I still have the responsibilities of someone ten years older.  I used to be pretty bad on a stimulant addiction. Lately I’ve noticed I don’t like nicotine. My drug tolerance seems generally lower. But, I also don’t have anorexic tendencies, nor do I have money anxiety. On the other hand, the others don’t love my love of candy and snacks. Nor do they always love when I go on spending sprees. Oh well. At least I enjoy myself. (The near-constant physical pain is less pleasant. As is being constantly overheated. While I’m often derealized, that’s not so bad because it makes the world less scary. I feel myself as very real, which is nice. The distorted perceptions are weird but workable. The ability to give myself a buzz without drugs is really fun.) I imagine I’m usually pretty identifiable by my energy. I’m also more concerned with my aesthetic than most of the others, but my external appearance usually ends up at least somewhat chaotic. 

Natalia: The caretaker of the group. We’re really close, usually able to talk to each other at will, switch with each other almost at will, and when one of us come around, the other is rarely far away. She’s pretty protective of all of us, and has run into conflict a few times when keeping everyone away to keep us safe. Our roomates say she’s remarkably responsible. Which is fair; most of the stuff that has to get done like cleaning the house or putting food in one of the anorexic/depressive alters falls on her. Sadly, she’s not as good at having fun. But she says she’s usually content. Which, hey, if being caring is what makes her happy, that seems alright. I appreciate having someone around to keep me calm when things go awry. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of my coping skills were just to turn to her for help. She’s also usually pretty easy to identify by behavior alone, I imagine. Like, her primary drive is to take care of anyone she cares about. She usually keeps her appearance more tame, but it’s not super important. 

Victoria: Sometimes she can feel really great, but it’s pretty fragile. On any day she’s out, there’s a good chance she’s going to crash hard. Usually because she can’t handle being alone, and will very quickly suspect that she’s too socially inadequate to carry on. She’s also more isolated in the system, especially since her falling out with Natalia and Lizzie a few months ago. (But they weren’t very compatible to start with.)  I’m not sure how much she has going for her besides some attachment problems. Either her appearance will be too depressed to even wear clean clothes or else when she’s doing well socially (or when ego-inflated by other means) she’ll make herself as attractive as she can. Which makes sense given her felt need to be attractive. (Thank goodness we all reflect externally enough to keep track of all of our problems.) If you look at the DSM entry on BPD, all nine criteria fit her pretty well. Though also she’s often tormented by Natasha. Her access to the rest of the system is pretty bad; she’s especially prone to amnesia, and she’s a bit in denial, still.

Natasha: The arch-persecutor. She’s angry and violent, usually towards us. She doesn’t really trust anyone outside the system, so she abuses us to keep us safe from them. I can’t remember her fronting for a long enough period of time to really have much to say about how she acts outside.  We’re learning to work with her. I hope someday she can be okay. As much as we fight, I do care about her. I understand why she’s easy to dislike, though.

Jeanine: She’s a bit farther away from me in the system so I don’t know her very well. I can see the playlist she made for herself on Spotify is totally the most unique. (We all share one account, and most of us have playlists for ourselves.) She can be way more fight-y than most. I used to think she was just basically the protector that followed Jasmine, but she’s spent enough time out on her own that I’m not so sure. (While interactions go in all sorts of directions, I seem pretty close with Natalia, Jasmine with Jeanine, and Victoria with Natasha.) She’s not as mean as Natasha, not as self-assured as I or Natalia, not as responsible as Natalia, not as energetic as me, but she is nonetheless aggressive, energetic, self-assured, and responsible.  The hard rock/heavy metal section of our closet basically only exists for her.

Jasmine: The other teenager in the system. Except she’s also about as sad as Victoria. Thankfully instead of having outbursts, she’ll just glue herself to a couch and sleep for two weeks excepting when she absolutely has to get up. And even then, while most of us can pull it together for a social obligation (like, Victoria can attempt suicide, fail, and then go to work or a party or whatever), Jasmine will actually call off.  Which I guess means when we actually need a break for whatever reason, she is the best-equipped to handle it. She’s also either aro/ace or close to it, so she’s useful for romantic failure. Though the intensity of her platonic feelings can be a bit much. As I write this, I’m realizing who’s going to be handling all the writing we have to do. Hint: It’s mostly me, featuring Natalia. Victoria will help when she’s not crashing. Jeanine and Jasmine are less helpful since their life ambitions are more artistic than academic. (Which is another good hint as to who’s out: We don’t even have the same long term ambitions!) I’m pretty sure she’s still the only one with her hairstyle. It looks good, so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else uses it sometimes. That said, she also easily puts the most effort into her appearance. (We make a good team, what with me having the will to buy nice clothes and her wanting to wear them. If only we got to be together more. Someday, hopefully.)

Emily: The child of the system. She’s seven years old, and she can’t talk. She also pretty much only comes out deep in the night or when there’s a fight. I imagine her childishness and silence is pretty identifiable. Everyone except maybe Natasha cares about her a lot. We do our best to take care of her, though admittedly we dream of someday someone else caring about her, too. Best I can tell, she’s stuck in a neverending flasback of trying to get help but finding nobody. I don’t know what trauma she’s holding, and I’m a little intimidated by the idea of finding out.

Lizzie: She used to be out more, I think. She wanted to get into politics and redirected our life in that direction for a bit. We all call her the bleeding heart of the group, though she’s less into the direct and forceful caring like Natalia and more into standing up for people and being a force for more widespread good. She also had quite the incident a few months ago in the inner world with Natalia and Victoria. She stopped coming out as much as Natalia picked up where she left off. Someone else will have to fill in more on her.

Olivia: She’s not out much, but also I know she feels pretty good about herself. Probably at least as good as I do about myself. She used to use our legal name, though mostly because she felt the most strongly connected with it. Like, she said for once she actually felt like that person. We realized her using that name is super confusing, though, and led people to think she’s the “core”, “original”, or otherwise the One Alter Worth Saving. Which is, on the one hand, just false. Maybe she was the first, but maybe Emily was! Or maybe I was! All being first means though is being the first one to form out of the not-yet-unified infant mind. If we ever do fuse, that will be removing the barriers between us, not destroying any of us. But that’s like putting a jigsaw puzzle together--there’s no “core piece” of a puzzle that all the others fuse to.  Anyway, I don’t know her super well because she’s not very active, inside or out. So I’m tapping into stuff from like six months ago. But hey, if we do get her out, she does at least know how to handle the social professional world pretty well. Or maybe her confidence and assertiveness just works to her advantage in our current setting.

Marina: Last seen in September, she’s not out much, and she’s incredibly intense. She’s closest to me, and I don’t see much of her. I imagine if I’m in dire need of someone to unleash hell outwardly, she might pop in? She really doesn’t like the system as a whole and will actively thwart others’ efforts. I think ever since I stopped being so apathetic towards the others she hasn’t had her chance to come out, since usually we’d tag team, me taking advantage of the system and her just destroying it. Now I take care of ourselves. (Maybe someone else will have a better view of her, though. Maybe I’m wrong about being closest with her.)

Adrianna: She hasn’t been around much lately, though she used to be. Only one who had to have a name assigned to her since her self-esteem is so low she wouldn’t give herself one. (She called herself “nameless” in our notebook. And if it wasn’t clear from the Olivia paragraph, some of us are trying to actually run this system instead of continuing the complete chaos that came from having a mysterious personality roulette for years.) I don’t remember her super well. I think she’s a bit more of a pushover than anyone else, at least. Like, Victoria may get attached, but she does at least know how to speak up for herself. Adrianna is good enough at handling troubling emotions to stay functional while keeping her suffering hidden. Though she does talk to us a lot when she’s out. 

Angelica: I know she exists, because she made a note of it in our notebook, but I don’t really know her. Not around much, to my knowledge.

-Maria

[peonypearls-muddled-musings]

1. What kind of tumblr blog would your OCs run? 2. What color best represents your OCs' personalities? 3. How foul-mouthed are your OCs? 4. Tell us 2 random facts about the first 3 OCs that come to your mind.

Under a cut because these got long!

1. What kind of tumblr blog would your OCs run?

oh my gosh I think I’ll stick with my main ocs for my different fics!

Dagney: a cottage-core style blog! Sprinkled in with photos of books she’s currently studying in the library, her dog Sheba, and her travels to other kingdoms!

Dargon: Slice of life blog, lots of photos of his family and around the kingdom(s); the most peaceful blog. Also lots of photos of fresh bread and pastries.

Tad: An acting workshop blog! On his personal blog you’d see a lot of photos of black and white western movies and cityscapes or snowy mountains or his family; and long posts about actors and acting tidbits; also lots of blooper reel videos

Corbin: Corbin would only have his personal. Photos of him in zero gravity training, a lot of posts about life with a stoma and Chron’s Disease, his dreams about finding a new earth, photos of old earth he’s found and then pictures he’s taken with his friends, or photos they’ve taken and sent to him (in those you can typically see his big brown eyes all sparkly for Teagan when he’s around); also lots of videos of his teammate/roommate’s chinchilla, Romeo.

Silas: his blog is a SALT MINE after being forced into working as a coffeeboy for his former business rival, but he can only be super passive aggressive about it. But once he and Oksana team up he probably actually takes a huge passion for coffee and starts blogging about his creations; but he’s still a tech boy at heart and posts anytime he rigs something up just so he doesn’t have to get off the couch to get the remote

Oksana: her blog is full of pictures of huge, elegant dogs. And grumpy cat. But also vintage rings and brooches and antique clocks.

2. What color best represents your OCs’ personalities?

Dagney: Green

Dargon: grey-lavender

Tad: light blue

Corbin: yellow

Silas: gold

Oksana: burgundy

3. How foul-mouthed are your OCs?

It really depends on the situation and/or the person. A good chunk of my ocs probably curse at one point or another. You don’t hear much from Dagney or her family right now (Her parents are a mild mannered king and queen raising 3 kids (soon to be 4) so they do their best to keep their cursing at a minimum; but we’ll most likely be hearing more from Dargon soon due to a family crisis)

Tad does curse, but he’s a big softie so honestly he curses out of emotion, whether he’s trying to be entertaining or something is legitimately bothering him. 

Corbin is basically a high-tech space sailor; so yeah he can have a foul mouth; but the girls on his team can be much, much worse.

Silas: Probably curses a lot to himself when he has to take on his new job; but when he and Oksana are working together, he does so a lot more when he’s excited around her and talking about new tech plans.

Oksana: Why curse when you can just obliterate someone with a glance?

4. Tell us 2 random facts about the first 3 OCs that come to your mind.

Time for Dagney, Tad and Isaac!

Dagney: 1. Dagney is legally a science experiment with files ranging from her conception to her first birthday due to the extensive scientific involvement in helping her father carry and deliver her (and then her siblings) via his shapeshifting. 2. Her favorite dessert is peanut butter mousse!

Tad: 1. LOVES westerns and the aesthetics and even owns authentic cowboy boots and some traditional horse riding gear he’s won from auctions that he keeps well-maintained. 2. hates swimming in the ocean unless he’s helping his kids swim

Isaac: 1. Can’t belt out showtunes like his little sister but he can hold a note and sing some nice rich, buttery blues. 2. sweetest sweet tooth in the family; started baking as a pastime with his dad after his semi-retirement and it soon blossomed into a passion

Thank you for the asks!!! These were super fun!

#PDatSK #Bequest #CoffeeBoy #Hark

[radiantseraphina]

Random Question: what would happen if Nightmare took over Dreamland? I asked Chingkittykat this too because I wanted to see how different your nightmares would be

You sent this question to her, too? How am I supposed to compete with Kitty and her razor-sharp wit? Or her numerous Nightmare headcanons? Her answer could beat mine up in a dark alley! The tl;dr is that it depends on the…verse?

Anime Nightmare: 

I kind of feel like he’d just blow up Dreamland. It’s a backwater planet, so I don’t know that it would really be…the best business venture? But assuming he didn’t blow it up, I feel like it would be kind of like the episode “Labor Daze,” the one where Dedede starts a factory? Except…darker. A lot darker. Now, I kind of want to write that. What have you done?

Meta Knight would probably get possessed/brainwashed like Jecra was.

Kirby would…I don’t know. Become Nightmare’s apprentice or something? Probably? I don’t feel like you could just…kill Kirby.

Dreamland gets renamed Nightmareland, thereby killing their tourism industry.

Lots of Star Wars references with, like, an underground rebellion led by Tiff, who becomes Princess Leia-esque.

Semi-Canonical Game Nightmare (Sonata, Once upon a Dream, etc.):

Dreamland becomes a terrible nightmarish landscape with Nightmare tormenting the denizens and feeding off their fear. 

And when he’s not tormenting the people of Dreamland, he’s just kind of lounging around and furthering his study of magic. Like, I have this idea that Nightmare would kind of be like Yin-Yarn in terms of ‘…I thought conquering this kingdom would be enough, but it isn’t…what do I do with it?’

If you’re going the Meta Knightmare route, I sort of like the idea of Meta Knight pretending to reconcile with his father, so he can stab him in the back. And Nightmare doesn’t want to admit it, but he realizes that’s Meta’s goal and is just…too sentimental to actually kill his child.

Dedede and Kirby are probably part of some rebellious faction that Nightmare is always trying to pin down, and they probably, like, go on a quest to try and find some magical object that will help them defeat Nightmare.

Oooh! Or maybe Dreamland is some sort of nightmarish landscape, so pre-corruption Sectonia emerges as the heroic sorceress-queen who’s going to liberate Dreamland by collecting the light of Floralia (the sun stones).

I kind of like the idea of this ending with a sort of Darth Vader-esque ending for Nightmare.

DLU/Silk Shirts Nightmare:

I…actually, I don’t think anyone could do worse than Alera. Yeah, not-possessed Nightmare is still happy to stab people in the back and ruin them for slights…but so is Alera. And he’s also not racist? Or homophobic?

Would probably be ruthlessly cutthroat in his politics, though. I imagine that would make a lot of royalty/nobility upset, which would lead to a lot of internal conflict.

Would frequently get into arguments/lawsuits with Haltmann Works, leading to several PR nightmares.

Would call Customer Service and/or Meta Knight at ungodly hours in the morning to complain about his bodyguards/personal assistant/etc.

Would micromanage everything. People would hate him. Like, ‘oh, I saw that you wanted to establish trade relations with Patch Land, and I took the liberty of having my team of lawyers look over all of it.’

“Meta Knight! I know you’re trying to sleep, but I’m going to scare the pants off Max Haltmann. He called me Lord Butt-chin in an interview last week. Do you want to watch? No? Why not?”

Would be very unpopular and terrifying but…probably very effective in some respects, if out of his league. I feel like he wouldn’t actually want to take over Dreamland because, in a lot of ways, that would put him into the spotlight, and it’s harder to get away with doing dubiously legal things if people are constantly watching you.

Oh. My. God. He’d be like a slightly more malicious, more passive-aggressive version of Dark.

#nightmare wizard #...now i want to write a fic where he conquers dreamland #huh... #/long post

[witt27gauthier-blog]

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[man-i-dont-know]

BNHA Chapter 183-185: Thoughts and Spoilers

Aiight I’ll be honest, i had to go back and see how many chapters behind I was, summer got me in a funk. So if I did three whole chapters I would bore myself to death so I’ll be selective about what I talk about. With that said, let’s get into it.

The festival turned out great and while Deku was scolded it was only minor, which I am happy about because it shows that Deku made some of the best choices he could and the pros recognize that. Eri had a lot of fun (which is all that matters), the upperclassmen apologized, and the beauty pageant was won by Nejire (she was phenomenal, flying around like a fairy confirmed her victory). On top of all that, Deku somehow found time to make candied apples for Eri since the school wasn’t selling them. Anything with Eri is heartwarming.

Gentle and La Brava are being questioned, but is seems that the police officer that is interrogating Gentle is actually quiet understanding and hasn’t full condemned him as a criminal. Well like he obviously is a criminal but the officer is... sympathetic. Or at least not as hard as he could be. I really like this touch for a handful of reasons. A lot of series that deal with villains don’t exactly deal with them legally (a.k.a., beating the tar outta them), but when it is done, the outcome is essentially predetermined. What I’m getting at is that justice systems in action comics of any type are painfully rigid and or simplified so that the villain having been beat is a guarantee that they will be in prison forever and simply isn’t an issue anymore. I would give One Piece as an example for a rigid/simple justice system, but the only prison we have really seen has been broken into and out of so that doesn’t really apply. I suppose that the “jury” works for my example, meaning One Piece courts are really straight forward, just not really the actual containing of prisoners. So seeing Hero Academia put effort into  making the system seem much deeper and much more real is greatly appreciated (though I could argue that since there is more emphasis on it, the likelihood of something going wrong is much higher, like prison break theories that have floated around since when Stain was arrested).

Next chapter starts with the surprise announcement that Eri will be living at UA (dreams do come true). It is for public safety reasons but I will take it. Amajiki suggests that it is actually possible that with time, Mirio could make a return to the heroing world, but I think that statement will just get our hopes up so I am not listening to it at the moment. The Wild Wild Pussycats, plus Kouta, makes a surprise appearance and a handful of nice things occur. Tiger apologizes to Bakugou for not being able to prevent his kidnapping (Bakugou shrugs it off); Kouta is embarrassed but is already buying Deku merch (rockin’ red shoes); Ragdoll is still without a quirk, but will be taking a desk job to provide support; and the Pussycats are thrilled with how high their Billboard Hero chart ranking is and want to continue to work for their fans. Their is an ominous monologue that All for One gives in his prison cell, about wanting to get out to “give back” the quirks he stole (honestly, villain dialogue has so much potential when they can offer something nice and it still come off as a threat). Then we see the Top Ten Heroes. Almost all the familiar faces have some kinda costume upgrade which makes me wonder if that changing costumes just happens all the time or if it is a response to All Might retiring, though almost anything could be a result of All Might retiring. Dragon lady Ryukyu is there, Old Man Samurai has a rad design, there is a washing machine, Kamui Woods is 7th which surprised me, I didn’t realize he was that popular, there’s an aggressive rabbit lady, Edge Shot, Best Jeanist, Hawks and Endeavor.

The next chapter begins with a brief speech and each of the top ten are suppose to give their remarks. Hawks seems to be the restless type and is whispering to Endeavor before the introduction is over. Seeing he won’t get a response for the fire man, Hawks zips his lips shut (that motion struck me cause I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else do that in a comic, besides the CP9 guy in One Piece but that is an extreme). The first handful of heroes give pretty generic speeches, with the exception of the Rabbit Girl who calls out all villains and that she is ready to beat the crap outta them. Hawks, now thoroughly bored/irritated, cuts off (unzips his lips cause they were still zipped from when he tried to talk to Endeavor) Edge Shot who is talking about conserving the peace, saying “Who cares?” Edge Shot isn’t surprised by this and the Rabbit Girl respects his guts to do that, Hawks then snatches the microphone and gives his own speech.

This speech kinda threw me for a loop and I had to think about it for a while, and my interpretation may be quite different from yours so bear with me. He starts off by saying that the most important thing right now is the approval ranking, which is only one of the factors that goes into this ranking system. He says we can no longer stick to the status quo, we can’t do things as we have before now that they are missing their symbol. He calls out the other heroes for not changing during this major transition period, he wants the heroes to act their part and talk like heroes. My interpretation from this is that the current hero system only worked because of All Might, and now that he ‘s gone, it can’t continue like this. That tied in with the fact that he favors approval ratings above all else, what I am guessing his goal is to change the public’s opinion of heroes in general and gain their support. He is already suggesting to do what the principal at UA is trying to accomplish, mass produce heroes in the absence of their symbol. Hawks goes a step beyond saying that the only way to win is if we have the approval rating of All Might among all of our heroes. He goes on later to say to Endeavor that he doesn’t want to be All Might nor does he want to be a leader, so the idea of trying to make a whole slew of heroes the symbol would make sense since if there is only one symbol, one hero falling brings all the peace with it. So that’s what I think he was getting at, we need the people to trust us again, but the current heroes aren’t doing anything to actually fill that gap (at the end of his speech the narrator comments that Hawks is 22 and rose to the top ten when he was only 18, which by then he had his own agency, the kid is a damn powerhouse and is funny but is arrogant as well).

Hawks hands the microphone over to a genuinely pissed Endeavor, who says that despite trying to stir up trouble, Hawks kinda had a point, and that all he has to say is “Just Watch Me.” But how he said it is filled with power and confidence and shook an audience who had been shook by a loud mouth bird man. Off stage Endeavor is pissed off and trying to get answers from Hawks, who laughingly said that he did what was necessary, shook things up, and set the stage for Endeavor. Hawks was actually quite impressed with how Endeavor handled the situation, and then asked a serious question. Hawks is having Nomu activity in his part of town and he wants Endeavor to team up and help out. The next scene is someone from the League of Villains talking to a Nomu named “High End” who is not only bigger and with a much more badass design, but is also intelligent and capable of understanding and replicating speech and taking orders. High End gets me so hyped up but also strikes fear into me because we know how powerful Nomus are, and this one is obviously much, much more dangerous. And that how the chapter ends.

I am purposefully leaving out discussion about the relation between Hawks and Icarus because by now you’ve probably seen it. This analysis really watered down Hawk’s character, but I do like him quite a bit, if he shows some genuine niceness, then he will become a fast favorite, I just worry his arrogance will be too much (again, Icarus). I would pay to see Tokoyami’s internship with Hawks cause I think Hawks would be chill with whatever edgy thing Tokoyami said but still have no real clue what he actually said. One last thing: I spoke with a friend about how some of the heroes don’t really seem to belong in the top ten (mainly the washing machine), but I look at it this way, ostracizing people in this universe doesn’t really occur because your quirk is “weird.” My case is that both of Tsuyu’s parents are straight up frogs, her friend is a snake with hair, trash grape boy is a trash grape boy and every hates him cause he’s a pervert and not because he is three foot flat with odd hair and a diaper, Sero has tape in his elbows, just to name a few. Our weird doesn’t really work in Hero Academia, so a washing machine in the top ten wouldn’t be strange if he has the credentials (I also said that Mister Clean is probably more famous than some sport stars, and that was the argument that convinced her so I’m not sure if my other one needs more work).

So that is it. Thank you for sticking to the end and reading all, some, or just parts of it, I write these just to get ideas out there and start conversations. Take what you want from my opinions and ideas if that will start a discussion. Again, thank you fro reading, and I hope you have a great day.

#bnha thoughts #bnha spoilers #deku midoriya #erichan #bnha hawks #endeavor

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The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 20 Review: Mother and Child Reunion

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 20

While the Minor Arcana didn’t foretell a major disaster, The Simpsons Season 32 episode 20, ” Mother and Child Reunion,” is a letdown they should have seen coming. The audience sure did. We’ve seen all these scenarios before, and done better.

Very much like most Mothers’ Day gifts, the box doesn’t live up to the wrapping, which have been set high for this season. We all know Lisa is going to be president someday. The Simpsons were right about Trump, and they’ve put Lisa in the White House several times. It is inevitable, and inalienable, which in this case means neither Kodos nor Kang can do anything about it. But it is just as much preordained as Lisa going to college. This is Marge’s dream, Homer’s economic nightmare, an abstract concept best left ignored to Bart, and an emoji to Maggie.

The Amazing Herzog’s magic shop is exciting. They’ve got all the love potions, not just Number 9, and probably the most comprehensive titles of Theremin music in Springfield. Penn gives the shop four stars, while Teller gives enthusiastically silent assent, in endorsements. The spirits are always present, and the future is past the unused Keurig coffee machine. The shop owner is New German Cinema director Werner Herzog. He made Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) but hey, even dwarfs started small. He is headlining at the open mic at Springfield’s hippest comedy club after he finishes practicing his cartomancy on Lisa.

The tarot deck, and its interpretations are amusing. Homer draws The Hungover Man, Bart goes from Sly Fox to Teacher’s Pet. But Herzog is also Amazing at other forms of prestidigitation. His son hasn’t forgiven him since he made his mother disappear, and he conjures Homer and Bart’s names from the dark scrawl on the Styrofoam of their Starbucks coffee cups. He invokes the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield before the precognitive process, but gets no respect. When Homer asks about the future of The Ghostbusters franchise, the best Herzog can say is “The Gay Ghostbusters is fantastic.”

The schism between Marge and Lisa is predicted through the cards Queen of Clean and Roller Eyes, and the Wind card blows a bad air on college admissions. Herzog sees a dystopian future for college. Lisa confirms by noting the university experience hasn’t been the same since Netflix bought Yale. It also appears Bob Jones College and Harvard are both rated on par with Google University. Homer concludes the diagnosis by commenting that “Lisa’s not-going-to-college is the most money I ever earned.”

Grandpa has gained a lot of mileage in the future and can really ladle out the guilt and the pressure. Lisa is the only remaining hope of the Simpson family. Even as she denies it, we see she’s won the local Lifetime Achievement Award, a once in a lifetime achievement, two times in a row. And she was only 13 and 14 at the time. This is a giggle and a half when you think about it.

It is also clever how Lisa gets the money for her independent after-school program, Knowledge Minus College, through premeditated workers comp. That scene also provides a fun visual of the incident. The trajectory skewers through Lisa, the teacher, educating her students on what stereotypes they are, and how they find her lameness riveting. The payoff comes when Chief Wiggum has to be taught math so he can shake Lisa down more efficiently, though I may be reading too much into it.

We still don’t know what state Springfield is in. When the announcement comes over that Lisa wins the Governor’s race, the state is mumbled into incoherence. Still, President Lisa is surprisingly transparent. “I don’t have a life,” she promises. “You’re all I’ve got. I will serve you.” The presidential mom translator works on a Simpsons level. It employs the show’s inner logic. The translator may be too good at her job, though because it turns too mushy too quickly, though the subliminal suggestion she throws in at the end works to cut it a little. They also slip in a cunning presidential concession gag. George Stephanopoulos and Nate Silver put in cameos as themselves.

Poor Millhouse springs a surprise prom-posal on Lisa. It gets more pathetic when the actual proposal is delivered by Millhouse’s dad who croons it in his most cough-syrup-raspy Frank Sinatra imitation, liberally borrowed from a name-checked Seth MacFarlane. Millhouse almost gets a pity yes, but Bart proves to be quite the hero in this episode. He peels out over Millhouse’s poignant inadequacy, and chills President Lisa Simpson out when she’s on the edge with popularity. Bart’s future is also very similar to some of his previous White House visits in future-set episodes. On one visit, he asked Lisa to “legalize it.” Now he’s the CEO of a cannabis dispensary chain, and owner of three NBA teams. It’s almost the same joke, but he was funnier when he wasn’t successful.

The funniest bits are the backgrounds. As the family drives through future Springfield, we see billboards like “Blockbuster, we’re back,” Moe’s Oxygen has replaced his tavern, and robots of all kinds are busy doing work just behind the action. A quiz on the teen magazine Lisa is reading asks the age-old question: “Is your mother a dictator or a fascist?” One of the protest signs outside Lisa’s inaugural address reads “Pardon Sideshow Bob.” A dazzling, and impromptu, Front Lawn presidential fireworks display opens with congratulations from Russia, includes a Duff’s beer end and ends with “The U.S. government brought to you by Disney” rockets bursting in air.

Even the most Hallmark of holiday episodes have been well served the past two seasons on The Simpsons. The Mother’s Day installment should have been a great moment for Marge. She is, after all, America’s most representative mother. Her idea of Lisa’s future is proven, admittedly in the alternative world of a tarot reading, to be worthless. Julie Kavner performs a classic tirade tonight. When all Marge can do is “go downstairs and yell into the dryer,” you can cut the passive aggression with a butter knife.

Marge’s most revealing line is “How dare you live the life I wish I’d led.” It is part of an overall recalibration of her entire life, which includes all the dreams she threw away, the lunches she made, the baths, the visits to colleges Lisa will never go to. But the overall conflict between mother and daughter moves too far into lame leg-dragging, and hobbles the thrust of the jokes. They don’t bite. It stays a little too sweet even though the entire arc is set on an argument. There is no peril and only fake tension. Maybe this is because the presumptive premise is on a Tarot card reading, but that should only embolden the rift. This is non-canon, and the creative team does better when they go bigger in speculative comedy.

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“Mother and Child Reunion” is a retreaded tire which should have been left to cook longer at Springfield’s burning tire yard. This is a shame because The Simpsons have been doing well breathing new life into old premises this season. There are good lines, and great visual passing-tone gags, but overall, it comes up short. It is too straightforwardly structured, comically, with little subversion. Maybe they shouldn’t let Marge feel this far of the loop. It breaks the balance and feels uneven. I might even skip the Amazing Herzog at that comedy club.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 20 Review: Mother and Child Reunion appeared first on Den of Geek.

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How To Thrive When Chronic Illness Disrupts Your Career

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How To Thrive When Chronic Illness Disrupts Your Career

Your first job is your health. Speak up for what you need and it’s ok to take time for you.

According to the CDC six in ten adults have a chronic disease, creating a common challenge faced by millions every day: How do you make accommodations in your working life for your health needs? 

Part of my own journey to becoming an entrepreneur came out of developing Lyme disease. Prior to becoming ill, I was in a job which was unsustainable for me to continue. I know I’m not alone in this experience. 

I spoke with two other women with chronic Lyme disease who have adapted to the realities of their medical diagnosis and built thriving careers. These women share experience-backed advice for others who are struggling with a chronic illness which is impacting their ability to perform their job. 

Your dreams and ambitions are just as big as before diagnosis. Your illness doesn’t have to stop you from having a rewarding and fulfilling career. 

Emily Levy is the founder of Mightywell, a medical accessories company, along with friend and cofounder Maria del Mar Gomez. Levy was inspired to start Mightywell out of a desire to create the products missing in the marketplace that she wished she had to make the experience of illness easier. For many facing chronic illness, entrepreneurship may become the path not only because it affords flexibility, but also because illness gives unique insights to where there are unmet needs. This births business ideas and newfound passions. Levy felt the demands of a traditional corporate career path would pose too much of a challenge, but even more so, she felt a “resounding yes” at the idea of Mightywell and it became her “North Star.” 

Hannah Olson, founder of Chronically Capable, has had a similar experience to Levy. Olson found herself with no option but to leave her dream job due to her aggressive treatment schedule. Now, she aims to make sure no one ever has to choose between their health and work ambitions. Chronically Capable connects those with chronic illness and disabilities with flexible job opportunities at progressive companies who have greater willingness to be inclusive and make accommodations. Not everyone wants to start a business or has career ambitions in alignment with entrepreneurship. Olson is working to change the employment landscape to ensure entrepreneurship is not a forced choice. She shares her personal insights of working with chronic illness, but also has guidance for those navigating getting accommodations from an employer.

Whether you are or want to be an entrepreneur, or hope to climb the corporate ladder, here are some key things to consider to help you succeed.

Learn to communicate and speak up for your needs 

In running her company Levy says, “I’ve had to learn to be very transparent in my needs. I’m not afraid to tell people, sorry, today I just can’t do it. I’ve certainly had to cancel meetings. And I found that just by being transparent and upfront that this is where I am with my health, people are a lot more understanding.”

Speak up early if you’re in an interview process, advises Olson. “[At Chronically Capable] we try to work really closely with our applicants to encourage them to disclose and ask for accommodations upfront. It’s a lot easier than waiting six months into the job and having to have this awkwardness.” 

If you’re already in a job you’re going to have to speak up if you want accommodations. Keep in mind that, in the United States, you may have some legal rights for accommodations. Do educate yourself on your situation and seek legal counsel. It’s also encouraging to note that regarding Covid-19, Olson says, “There is going to be a change here, we’re in the middle of it. We’ve learned in the last nine months that an employee doesn’t necessarily need to be in an office in order to be productive and that you can be working on your own hours. So many people were left out of the workplace simply because of the fact that they couldn’t physically be in an office. This is opening up a world of opportunities for those who had been previously left out.” 

Hannah Olson, founder of Chronically Capable. Olson advises to speak up early for your needs if … [] you’re in an interview process.

Find community and mentorship 

“There are millions of people with chronic illnesses, but when you have one you can feel like you’re the only person,” says Olson. By finding those who understand, you can provide support to one another as you face similar challenges.  

One person to have in your support circle is a solid mentor. “Mentors have completely changed my life and I’d encourage others to find a mentor in that career path or direction that you’re aspiring to,” shares Levy. Olson echoes how helpful it is to have a mentor with chronic illness and has found mentorship from Levy invaluable. “She knows exactly what I am going through. Like the stress of talking to investors while you’re also going through treatment, and all these things.”

Do what you can, when you can

Levy has learned to be adaptable to the swings of illness. “I would highly recommend for chronic illness founders to bring their laptop to bed if you need to. Some days my legs don’t want to come with me but my brain works. I’ll send emails or do funding research. And then there are days I can’t look at a screen and will put on a podcast to keep learning.” 

Levy also suggests trying to plan ahead for when you know your symptoms may flare or needs may change. “I think what a lot of people don’t understand about chronic illness is that I can be on for that three hour event, but they don’t see that for three days after, that’s going to put me in bed. I try to plan ahead so if we know I’m speaking at our industry’s top conference of the year in Las Vegas, we need to make sure I’m taking time off afterwards, at least so I can work from bed.” 

Get support from colleagues or build a team 

“Getting support from your colleagues is another really great tactic. Having those people as your allies and advocates is so helpful because sometimes a manager just might not understand,” explains Olson.  

And if you start a company, don’t go it alone, advises Levy. While entrepreneurship has flexibility it’s still demanding, making it necessary to build a team of support. Maria Del Mar Gomez and Yousef Al-Humaidhi are Levy’s cofounders and together they have worked to ensure the company’s mission is still being supported whether Levy is in the office or not. Del Mar Gomez has become an invaluable support for Levy. “Especially when we were going through Morgan Stanley’s accelerator, there were plenty of times where I’d get fully ready, I’d put on the hair, the makeup, the outfit, get out the door and I would get to work and I would be drained. And on those days, I would call Maria. We just have this amazing bond where we kind of speak each other’s language.” 

Maria Del Mar Gomez (left) and Emily Levy (right), cofounders of Mightywell. Levy advises that if … [] you start a company, don’t go it alone.

Your first job is your health 

“My health really is my first job, and Mightywell, for better or worse will always be my second job, because if my health isn’t there, I can’t really function at work,” explains Levy. This is a sentiment shared by Olson who adds, “Managing your chronic illness in itself can be like a part-time or full-time job.” She advises taking time off or slowing down if you can financially afford to. “It’s ok to take time for you. We’re so forced as a society to believe that we have to work all the time, I had to teach myself it’s okay to slow down and for a while I was working a part-time job.” 

Recognize the benefits and strengths you’ve gained 

Chronic illness nudges you to learn important skills and life lessons everyone ill or not would benefit from. It’s really a masterclass in personal development.   

“We talk so much about all that has been taken from us with our illness. And it’s true, so much has been stripped of me, but I’ve also gained so much,” says Olson. “And I think that the media doesn’t represent the strength and opportunities that illness has given us as well. I wouldn’t regret being chronically ill now because I’ve been able to learn and do so much more than I ever would’ve.” 

Olson suggests using your cover letters to address your illness and highlight these strengths. “Talk about what are the unique skills and attributes that you’ve gained through this horrible experience, because that could make you an incredible worker. I’ve gained so much resilience, time management skills, I’m highly adaptable and able to balance a lot of different things. I understand the importance of taking breaks. You gain so much empathy for the people around you and it makes you such a great colleague. You are an asset.” 

Levy agrees and adds that as an entrepreneur illness makes her much more focused. “With limited energy, you have to really be maniacal about what things you’re spending your time on. It forces you to keep an eye on your North Star, and make sure that you’re being true to yourself and why you started this.”

From Careers in Perfectirishgifts