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carla5172007 · 3 years

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The Kambal Oneshot

Chubby reader. Part 1

Crispin:

Y/n walking in the street in the day light . It was hot event to early in the morning. You wear a light blue shirt with a cute kitty design, light pink skirt and white rubber shoes. Your skirt were higher than one inch. You were going to buy new clothes to fit your asthetic look.

Well you are douth about clothing choices because your body. The huge hips, chubby arms the face and most importantly your belly. The belly is the body part you hate the most. Since your intire life been treadted ugly and always scolded for being fat. Even your own mother keep telling you that. You keep trying best to not bother. Today hou have a confidence to wear the cloths you like.

You weren't expecting the heat to today.

" Thank goodness i brought my umbrella" walk to the crowd and wait to street light to go. Then you heard Two men in suit and a woman who were short. The guy one is long hair and the other were short hair. They had decame face so they must been twins.

Soon more people keep coming, Suddenly some push " Hoy! tabathoy Tumabi ka nga! " ou push from behind and drop your umbrella. Then you accidentally hit some back with your head. "Ouch !" "Hello, ayos kalang ba" you look up saw a tall man, with black coath and vest. He has short hair has, handsome face but no eye???. looking you with concerned."Miss are you ok?" You sanp to reality. "Umm yes im al right." The other twim picks up the umbrella and give it t you.

"Hey miss what's your na-" The the light turn green you walk imminently. Beacause othe loud croud you didn't hear him.

Crispin pov:

"Wow pre iniwan ka sa ere." I look a Basilio irritated look while he laughs. I nudge him quite hard so wine about the pain. " Come on kuya we should be at home. You know hank is more annoying." I look at the direction she went, i wonder where she goes.

" Kuya na kikinig ka ba saakin?!" Basilio bring me back reality.

" Ano? Ahh! Oo "

".........."

" Gusto mon puntaha young babae? No? Basilio ask waith a smirk

" Uhhhhj...

" Don't Brother ill cover up for you! Basta bumili ka ng beauty products at marenda. Kailangan mo yan pag balik." Basilio gave Crispin extra money.

Your Pov:

I found my favorite store in the SM mall. I found cute design. Thres cute sweater, High jeans, cute skirts and also some cute stuff animals. Im so excited to many to choose from.

_______________Time skip_________________

I have four bags of clothes. I should really it 4:00pm huh its been two hours. Well i should buy myself some snacks. ' what should i get shawarma or sandwich' Then you accidentally bump to Someone. "Sorry mam," Wait that voice. "I-Ikaw.." Its the same guy while you bump with. " My name is Crispin. What your name? I ask you a while ago but you didn't hear me." I was embarrassed. "(Y/n), sorry i i was bit hurry."

"Do you want me to carry that for you?" He genially

"Oh nonono! Its fine!"

Are you sure it seems alot to you. I insist to carry."

"Ahh ok."

Third Pov:

He insisted carrying your shopping bags. But why though he to help me we just bump each early. You two walk out to super mall, It was very awkward silence, but then he broke the silence.

'I like your outfit it cute on you" he compliment you with a smile.

"Wha!!"

You blush those is he really playing with you

"You couldn't take compliment? Or I m just the first?" You nodd. He replied.

"Im telling the truth thought. I can see a beauty when i see one."

"Umm your not bad for yourself" You tried to flirt but it failed you.

"Hehehe"

"What did your job?" He ask you.

"Well its not really interesting but may job is ( your job name). "

"Mine like solving crime stuff like that. it Kinda stressful, sometimes i i haven't sleep for 3 day!" You felt bad for him.

"That's really awful! Is it unhealthy for you?"

"Yeah but when i have sleep its only 4 hour. But sometimes we do have day off. I manage ."

"Hey wear almost to my apartment ment just 2 more miles. We could stop by to buy ice cream if want" you ask him since your starting to crave dessert.

"No all pay for it."

"Its fine you help carrying my shopping at least repay you."

"Ok" he smiled

You two buy ice cream your is ( favorite flavor) and he but chocolate and vanilla ice cream. You two walk and continue your conversation. It was quite enjoyable and interesting and you had fun have company .Once your inside of the building in outside your apartment door. Its time to partways.

Thank you very much. "

"Your welcome. It might be weird and to fast because you just met me but is it alright to ask.... Can i have you phone number? So you can talk each other cause... I enjoy your company we can be friends. BUTIFYOU DON'T WANTTOTHATS FINE!ITSOTIBEINGACREEPIMITALKINGTOMUCH!I'LLSTOP!"

You we speechless. Someone asking phone number to talk to you. Well this is first since childhood non of tour old friend ask your number to stay contact. And you seen him as creep. He nice and gentle men. It wouldn't hurt try to make new friends. You chuckle and smiled and said.

"Sure!"

"Really?"

"Wait ill give you my phone number, ill need my pen and paper and here another paper to write your number ... "

After you write it, you gave it Crispin. Crispin wrote his number in the other paper that you gave him.

"Thank you"

"Bye Cutie see you soon."

You have a pink blush in your cheek. What a nice guy you thought to yourself. Once you open your door and brining your clothes inside. You take a shower and change to your panjamas.

-----------------Meanwhile---------------------

Crispin Pov:

ARE INSAVE YOU GAVE SOME STRANGER THE OUR HOUSE PHONE!! AND LET ME REMIND YOU DON'T HAVE PHONE CRISPIN!! Hank angry scream

I KNOW HANK I M SORRY OKAY!!

While the two arguing! Basilio eating chips ( Nova) while watching Crispin and Hank argue and Alexandra disappointed face while wearing a face mask that Crispin baught before he went home.

Basilio

You were walking home after after you visit your grandma. It was dark in the night you wear wear a light blue belt top and jeans. You had a pocket knife for self defense but you still worried. But the you hear a loud crash when you look up a hold abandon building starting to fall on you. He quickly rush to push he you away before it hit both of you. Both of you fell on the ground he land on his face to your belly.

" Oww my- he- hey are you ok ?!" You tried to wake him his ok. Then he started to move, he the look at you observing you. He wears a mask. "Pwede ko ba malaman ang pangalan mo? ". A silence both of before he respond. "Wow your cute" WHHATT!! C- Cute???? You blush your embarrassed.

They you both heard a call. "BASILIO!" A man with a sad face mask fly infront of you. "Boss wants us to go ( street name) it more important than you flirting around." You blush more. The smile mask man slowly stood up and nod his head he ald your hand. And pull up to your feet. " Hey cutie , whats your name ? ". " Umm.. (Y/n) " " heres my phone number so we can get know each other" He hands you a card with phone number in it with name Basilio. "Thank you for saving me!." the other mask man sad " BASILIO!! There people dyeing any minute!!" "IM COMING!!" They both flying away and leaving you. " Stay safe beautiful! ❤️" the look back give you a flying kiss while his mask on. The next thing gone they were gone.

"Wow what a night .. " You look back at the phone number. Who was Basilio? What doe s look like? Those he really mean those word?... Cute? Beautiful? Hehe no way. That Basilio guy is messing with her. Right? " Hmmm maybe later when i get home "

Basilio POV:

"Well done boys if you need me ill up stairs changing ok." Yes bossing

" Ugh.. im so tired !!" I wine. "Well we should be finish early of you wodn't get distracted!!" "Hey hey calm down you two" Hank hold his hand together and look me in straight in the eyes." What did you do??

" What did you mean?! I DID NO SUCH THING!"

"He gave a random girl our house phone number."

"IDIOT! WHAT DID ALEXANDERA TELL NO TO DO!!" Hank panic

"Giving our house phone number..?"

"Giving our number!! You to don't have phone Basilio!!"Hank replied.

"Maybe that person leaks our secrets!"Crispin replied

"Wow you two are Paranoid. But she's looks cute and nice. And i always want to make new friends"

"Calling a them a Cutie pie is a way to making friends?"

" LOOK ITS JUST MY EGO TAKEN OVER! Please don't tell alexandra-"

"What are you hiding from me"She came from the behind. The kambal scream ot top of there lungs

Few minutes later

I smile and think about what happened. When i landed on top her it so soltf like a pilliow that i wanted sleep and cuddle. Its the middle of the night. I still a wake couldn't sleep. I still wait to called me.

Ring ring

"Hello im (y/n ) im so sorry i called you late"

"No no its fine"

"Your name is Basilio right ? I don't want to be rude but can i see the person who save me."

"Ummm to tell you the truth this a telephone. I don't really have my own cellphone. But we could meet if you want tomorrow."

"Really! What time because my job starts at 9:00am and it will end 4:30 pm. "

"If you had time im always free" with a confidence in his tone.

"You save me from a falling building. I think your busy saveing people"

"True but if my shift ended early tomorrow or if i don't work tomorrow we could meet. Deal?"

"Deal! "

"Great! Also can i have your phone number so i can call you back? Since i forgot i didn't have my own phone."

"Sure it's"

"Wait i need to write it! Hold on"

"Hehe its 09*** **** **** "

"Thanks i call you back"

"Its a date good night."

#carla5172007 #trese netflix #trese #trese crispin #trese basilio #trese hank #alexandra trese #trese kambal #the kambal #basilio x reader #basilio #crispin #crispin x reader

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andelyn · 3 years

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Olarte Cave Gaming

12.20.19

Olarte Before Christmas

Early in the morning, me and my BA ELS II family took a motorcycle ride from General Santos City’s public Market to Brgy. Conel. It was a long travel, roughly 1 hour and 5 minutes and rather back-aching. this was due to a very close-spaced tricycle we got on. But, all these things weren’t a problem though as my classmates and I had fun inside our little vehicle. Merasol and Paolo brought laughter to our mouths as we journey towards Olarte Cave.

along the road, we saw things very common to me, as I am originally from GenSan, but as for Wayne and Alex, everything was new to them.

“Look! Baby Baste’s house!” Our very own die-hard kapuso fan classmate Wayne gasped. He was just like Baste when he exclaimed with all those jittering and clapping motions. He waved good-bye to Baste’s tarpaulin plastered on their house’s gate as when passed it (as if Baste was really there). We all had a good laugh at him.

We laughed at Wayne again a few minutes later after he spotted Robinson's place. It's because he told us that in the two and a half years he's been in GenSan, he's never stepped foot inside a Robinson's mall in his life. Despite the fact that he was depressed, his reaction was hilarious.

We traveled a very long road. We lost our excitement as it was nearing noon. Percival’s stomach rumbled, he said. We then saw a plantation of bananas after he said that to us, so he exclaimed “I think I have to pick some here even though it’s illegal. I think I could eat a whole bunch of bananas!”

After that, Paolo overlapped saying “Yeah, ‘cause you’re boots. And you look like him, too!” I bursted out laughing while we felt series of bumps of the road.We laughed even harder when I hit my head on the tricycle's glass window.

At last, we finally reached Brgy.Conel. We hopped out of the trike, paid the driver and then he left.

“Good bye kuya! we will miss you. Merasol said in a flirty way. Alex slapped Merasol in the face since she sounded like a prostitute at the moment.

“So, where’s the cave? I want to swim now.” I asked them.When I looked around, all I saw were motorcycles and drivers waiting for us to approach them.

“Abnormal!” “It's still a long way from here!” Merasol exclaimed. We must still ride a motorcycle. At the very least, it'll be a 5-minute drive." She went on.

I was taken aback. We'll have to travel once more. However, before we could board a trycycle, we had to wait for at least an hour for Merasol's camera to be charged because it had run out of battery. That was something she hadn't anticipated.

“What a foolish little b*tch,” Patricia yelled at her. Our mouths were full of chuckles. Merasol, on the other hand, appears to be unprepared for anything. I feel sorry for her.

We finally hopped on a motorcycle after all of the waiting and toiling and headed our way to Olarte Cave. We finally arrived at another stop after about 5 minutes.

“So, where’s the cave?!” I hastily asked.

“So, where’s your payment for the driver?” Alex asked me.

I was caught off guard. I neglected to pay the driver, who was still waiting for me in the back because of my enthusiasm. (Oh, how foolish I was!)

“Tanga!” They said chorus on my face.

“We still have to walk up there,” Our personal tour guide, Merasol, informed us.

I was stunned because I had not anticipated that we would continue walking for another half hour! I was exhausted, but I was determined.

“I've come this far, and I'm not going back.” I made a joke at their expense.

“These are merely the ups and downs of life.” Paolo made a point of saying.

We began our climb. During the journey. We were not as fatigued as I had anticipated. We were completely absorbed in nature. This, I believed, was my first close encounter with Mother Earth.

With Ivy, Goldie and I walked slowly together. Wayne and Paolo were in front of us, and the rest followed behind. Along the journey, we spoke and joked a lot.

We had to cross a river about halfway to the Cave. Paolo warned us to be cautious because there were ‘engkantos' guarding it, but that we would be secure because they recognized me as one. I focused my gaze on him right away, but my classmates burst out laughing.

The small river was peaceful and wonderful. It was rocky, though, and I found it difficult to walk because I was wearing doll shoes. I had to remove them or else the whole thing would be wrecked.

We spotted arrows written on a tarpaulin pointing in a specific direction a few meters from the river.

“We are almost there! do you see that?” Merasol broke our silence.

I quickly realized that the pointing arrows are signals informing tourists like us (Char, tourists) that we are almost there. I was almost there, and A almost leaped for joy!

“Sa wakas!” I happily gasped.

We observed few little cottages and a few individuals sitting not far away.

“Is that it?” Wayne asked Merasol.

She just nodded.

And we were amazed at the sight. Stunning. Beautiful. Astounding.

Despite the fact that the cave was clearly man-made, it manages to captivate our attention. Its water was the same color as the sky.

“Is it your first time to come here?” The personnel asked us.

“Yes, most of us.” Wayne replied to her while collecting our entrance fees.

“I see. Well, you have to be careful. Okay? The water there is very deep. It’s 90 feet deep. You do want to get out here alive and not drowned, right? the personnel jokingly told us.

Even though he knew how to swim, Wayne rented a life jacket as soon as we entered. He said he gets foot cramps all the time while he's in the water. As a result, he rented one for his own safety.

Here is a picture of him and Paolo in the water like children:

After that, all of us went into the water.

I discovered it was extremely chilly, as if masses of ice had been placed inside! I swerved! But I was at relaxed.

Here's a picture of us in the cave (please note that I'm always the one shooting photographs, which is why I'm seldom visible in photos). What a pity!):

All throughout the day, we enjoyed, had some fun and had lots of food! I am really glad that I am with these guys. I am really happy that we had our fambam just before Christmas.

Overall, the trip to this cave was long and exhausting, but it was well worth it. I want to visit here again soon. Thanks!

#Adventure Olarte Cave General Santos City Travelogue

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snowlikelady · 3 years

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So, I figured, I rarely talk about my family to anyone even though I think about them most of the time. And i had these thoughts while I was in the shower, again. I'm writing in case I forget about them.

Most of the time, I feel really distant from my family, my parents, grandparents & other elders in the family. I mostly think that I am being too serious on everything when I am around them.

I feel really awkward to laugh when i am with my mom. I don't know why. I feel like I am the most silent version of myself when I am with her. That is why every little laugh, every small talk that I get to have with her means a lot to me.

It's sad that I am not that close with them, compared to my other siblings.

Also, I am really thankful for my ate ( my kuya's girlfriend who is residing with us, now. ) because, my mom now have someone she can really talk to ( i guess ) make chika, laugh with and stuff. they go well, together. they're like high school bestfriends :") i just hope she's the one for my kuya, she's really nice and friendly.

my thoughts are noooooow scattered all over the place and i cant write a good sentence anymore. bye now.

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yuppielionheart · 4 years

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Unexpected

As what most people say, you fall in love unexpectedly.

Just how I unexpectedly fell for you. When I met you 7 years ago, I never thought I’d have this kind of feelings for you.

I can still remember the first time I met you, you were wearing a black polo when you came in and I was like “siya na yun?”. But honestly, I find you cute. Actually you have that strong appeal, though you’re not the typical pretty boy which girls would go head over heels for.

I admired you because you were really great at what you do until you did something which made me feel off towards you. Eventually nakabawi ka naman. Though until now palaisipan sakin yung ginawa mo sa table. #Awkward

A year after, I started to become distant. I admit, one of the reasons I decided to give up that time is you. Though one of the factors lang naman yun, ang main reason talaga is yung time. Di ko talaga kaya e. I remember that time when you asked me why didn��t I took it. Niloko pa nga kita na iAdjust mo yung oras.

I remained to keep distant from until I learned something about you. Sobrang di ako nakatulog dahil sa nalaman ko then kinabukasan exam ko, I did not fail but ang drastic ng change sa grades ko. I was confronted pa nga by my prof kung ano ba daw nangyayari sakin.

Then few months later, I was about to leave. It was supposed to be a night out with my friends until they told me na sasama daw kami sa inyo. I had second thoughts if I should come pa, but I said to myself, “last naman na ito.”

And that supposed to be the last, became the start of everything. I get to know you more, and I said to myself, if I leave then I’ll always have a what if. I want to know you more. One thing that made me decide to stay was when I heard you say “aalis ka?”.

I don’t know, everything was planned already, I’m leaving. But at that moment, instantly nakapag decide ako na I’ll stay.

As months go by, we became closer or should I say that our circle of friends became closer. And because of that, I get to know you more. Then I met your mom for the second time, she made some kwento about you. It was out of the blue actually, alam ko naman na yung iba pero the way your mom talked about you, I can say na mabuti ka talagang anak. Eventually, your sissy and I got along. Though nung una she’s kind of aloof to us. But then when she told me that she wanted to know you more kasi nga even though you’re siblings, you’re not close to each other daw. She couldn’t believe at first pa nga when I told her how great you are with what you do. There are things that she couldn’t understand about you and I just told her to let you be because you deserve it after all your hard work. As time goes by, there are times that your sister makes kwento about you to me. And because of that I’m able to know you more in a little way.

One of the things na di ko makakalimutan was when your sister told me na you’re making kwento about me daw sa inyo, the exact words were, “nag aaral ako, ang ingay ni kuya, nagkwekwento about sayo”.

Natawa na lang ako e. I was like, why would you make me kwento sa inyo? Like who am I? Then your sis told me na wag ko sasabihin sayo na nalaman ko, dahil baka magalit ka sa kaniya na sinabi niya sakin.

At this moment, I can feel that there’s something e. Pero I couldn’t pinpoint kung ano. Nandun ako sa point na if it’s mutual then why not? Pero not now. I want to focus with the things that I should focus pa. Eventually, you announced that you’re with someone na. I was like, “ah okay”. Maybe, wala naman talaga. I couldn’t say I’m okay, actually I wasn’t. I was confused eh. I thought we’re going there pero di pala.

Then suddenly you did something that made me more confused, like what? Ano ba talaga? Why would you do that? Knowing you, di ka naman basta basta nang gaganun. Pero maling mali e.

Eventually, I disappeared. I had to face my own battles. Honestly, it helped me. Being away was a great help. I even thought na maybe mas mabuti if di na ako bumalik, but then I realised something so I decided to go back. Yung timing naman ng pagbalik ko, mapapa grabe na lang talaga ako. Honestly, hindi ko pa naman dapat talaga kunin yun, pero biglang inalok sakin, ayoko talaga. Kasi I know malaki ang chance that we’re gonna meet again if I do. Pero ang lakas ng convincing power sakin to take it, so I took it dahil naghahabol din ako ng oras.

I tried my best to remain distant with you. Kaso mapaglaro talaga ang tadhana, kahit anong iwas mo, pagtatagpuin at pagtatagpuin kayo. Of all the places, right in front of the church pa talaga. I wasn’t supposed to ride na coz I saw you e, kaso I have to dahil baka maLate ako. I didn’t think that you’d recognise me. Kaso wala nagkatinginan. Kahit pala mata lang ang kita sayo kapag kilala ka, makikilala ka. 🤣

Then, there was this time na it’s one of the things that I couldn’t forget siguro that you did was when I left you guys, I said goodbye naman na then a few steps away pa lang ako this guy friend of mine called me and said bye, so I raised my hand na lang as a gesture na bye. Then suddenly I heard someone called me, I wasn’t sure sino so lumingon ako then Ikaw pala, so I asked “ano yun?”, then you said softly, “bye”. Napatango na lang ako e. Pero seriously pagkatalikod ko natawa ako. Like ha? Ano yun? 🤣 Talagang tinawag pa ako? Eh nag goodbye na naman kanina. So gusto siya talaga last na mag goodbye? Ganun ba yun? Weird eh 😅

Few months later, we went out and you were acting weird. Papalag sana ako e. Not even my closest friend is allowed to do that. But I find it cute, you’re like a child sleeping. Ang weird mo nga lang pag gising mo talaga naman yung promo nakita mo. Like? So what? May promo? Gagawin? 😅

We went our separate ways until one day, we met again unexpectedly. You’re supposed to leave na talaga but I asked you to stay with me for a little bit longer and I was thankful that you did. Months passed by and then we meet again, I was in the car, I already saw a guy walking but I didn’t know it was you. Then when I got off the car biglang nakita mo ko. Napa second look ka pa nga but I went on my way lang like I didn’t even see you. I told my friend to make sure na dun kami kumain kung saan wala ka. That’s why kahit di talaga ako nakain dun, I ate there with the assurance ng friend ko na you’re not there but surprisingly you ate there din. What a coincidence diba? 😅🤔

One thing that’s funny is before I came in you’re not looking on the counter part naman and you are facing those people with you, but when I came in and nung nasa pila na ako, sakto naman “FOREVERMORE” ang kanta, then my guy friend told me na you’re looking at me daw. Like why? And when I glanced at you, I saw you sitting facing the counter na like watching talaga. Like ha? Ano ito? Tv show? #Weird Sabayan pa ng kanta 🤣

Time flies so fast and a lot of things happened then we met again, I can remember yung mga kasama ko binati ka pero tumingin ka lang tapos parang wala lang then nung ako I just said “oi”, bigla ka naman tapik sa ... baka kung ano isipin ng mga makakakita. Dun talaga? Good thing nauna na mga kasama ko at ako yung nasa huli.

Until one day, I decided to check on my app. I’ve been using it for quite sometime and I don’t know why I always see your profile. So out of curiosity, I told myself, let’s see nga if you liked me, paulit ulit kita nakikita Eh. True enough, you did. I was surprised. I was waiting for you, if you’re gonna make asar ba or what. Well actually ako dapat mang aasar sayo pero sabi ko let’s wait Ano gagawin mo. Then bigla ka nag deactivate? I don’t know why did you do that. 🤔🤔🤔🤔

So hinayaan ko lang. Until unexpectedly, we meet again. Ang kulet ng tadhana Ano? I had a feeling na it’s you who’s gonna present lalo na nung sinabi na “wait lang” daw. I knew it. Then during the meeting, you mentioned me several times tuloy napapatiningin yung iba. Then since it was planned by them na talaga to ask you out with us, I told you na pero seems jam-packed sched mo, parang malabo na you can join us. And then I knew it, you were hesitating talaga to join. We talked for 3 days, everything seems fine then you stopped communicating. I don’t know why and what happened so I just let you be. Ayoko naman kasi mang istorbo knowing how busy you are.

Before that day, pinagisipan ko ng maaigi. Sabi ko it will be the last naman na because I might leave for good sooner or later. So I told myself better yet na magkaalaman na. It was destined for us to meet talaga, Siguro? Ewan. Imagine, ang kulet Eh. Ikaw yung nasa tarp sa u-lane, 14 years ago. Then ikaw yung cute guy na nakita ko sa socmed na napagkamalan ko na pinsan ng classmate ko, kinulit ko pa yun. Then Ikaw din pala yung napagtanungan ko nung may hinahanap ako. Small world it is?

So on that day, I decided to confront you na. I heard the things that I needed to hear. I was so sure until I realised that even though I heard everything that I should, it’s just that I couldn’t pinpoint the problem eh. Pero I couldn’t admit the truth. I wanted to say OO, gusto din kita. Pero it never came out of my mouth. I couldn’t say it and I don’t know why.

Maybe I was scared? I was in doubt? Maybe, I was overwhelmed and everything is new to me so I don’t know how to properly respond. I felt so bad that I acted that way the day after. It’s just that I wasn’t able to sleep well then someone stole from me. Imagine, tayo na tayo na lang nandun ninakawan pa ako.

That’s why ganun na lang ako nung araw na yun. I just wish na I didn’t get scared, I didn’t acted out like a brat. Pero wala e, tapos na.

So let’s see where will our story goes from here.

#share #kriz23 #quote #typography #love #tagalog #english #lovestory #jl #jltm #unexpected #pagibig

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ate-ksblog · 4 years

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Hi I'm Akessiah just remove the 'a' the first letter, and that's my nickname. Also my cousins' call me "ate K" short for 'Akessiah' cause they say it's too long 😆. Anyway, I have 5 siblings as you can see, and my eldest sister is Affricia Joy, nickname: ate AJ. She's the eldest and has the most responsibility to us siblings. She really likes writing/decorating her journal, she's very nice too. The second is Allicia Joy, nickname: Iya. She doesn't like being called "ate" hehe, one time I called her "ate Iya" for a while, let's just say I stopped doing it😬🤭. Well, she's the nicest ate. Not to say ate AJ is mean, not gonna lie, she's super duper nice too. But Iya, you can take about 5 stages till she's had it with you so I can say she's nicer.. OH and she really loves making and designing dresses. Then there's me, Hi! I'm the third, like my sisters I have a temper, especially with Azel my brother. He sometimes gets on my nerves, and before, I was immature, and... Our fights don't end well. But now, I've matured a bit, I guess. We fight yeah sometimes cause of silly reasons, we get along real nice now. I really love digital art. I draw really slow, don't believe me? Ask the dishes! haha get it...? 🤗🤧😖(Why with the corny jokes) OK, so the fourth is Azel James nickname: Azel. He is really nice and super shy he would hide behind dad's back when dad's making him say Hi to our relatives hihi. He loves playing with my little brother, Andrew. His hobby is playing vid games like roblox and minecraft, he also likes teenage mutant ninja turtle. And now it's time for the last sibling Andrew, he is our baby brother. I like calling him baby or "Drew". He likes cats, and he says that he isn't a human but a cat🤣. His hobby is playing with his kuya, Azel. Next, time for the parents. My mom's name is Joylyn, nickname: Joy. She loves us very much and she's also a good house wife. She helps us with our homeworks and very good at Filipino. She also helps my sisters...well all of us. Lastly, is daddy, his name is Jun Lunasin his nickname: Jun. He is a chef and I guess, I could say he loves cooking. Mom and dad loves spending time with us, watching movies together. Our parents are very hardworking and they do everything they can to provide for us. Now, it seems I can say, after a very long time of reading, that's my family. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading and taking your time to read this. Bye! 😘

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janielbaja · 4 years

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TRAGEDY

Once upon a time there was a perfect family a loving dad, a caring mom, a sweet daughter and an obedient son but there is a tragedy happened.....

“Thank you for this breakfast love” Michael said his husband

“You are always welcome love” Joyce answered with a smile on her face

“It’s very delicious mommy we are so lucky to have you as our mom, for us you are the best” her daughter Amarah said

“You guys stop fooling me” Joyce said while laughing

“Mom we’re just saying the truth” his son Andre said with a sincere voice

“Owww you guys are very expressive, I love you I can’t imagine my self without you my family, you’re the center of my life, my world and everything” Joyce said

“Mom can we stop this? You’re making us cry” Amarah said while laughing

“Okay before we eat, we must first pray” Michael said while smiling

“In the name of Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit amen. Bless us Oh Lord and this thy gift which we are about to receive from thou bounty to Christ our Lord Amen”

“In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit Amen they said together

They’re eating happily full of joy and peace

“Good bye mom I’ll gonna go” Amarah said while kissing the cheeks on her mother

“Bye baby, take good care” Joyce said while smiling

“Mom, how many times I told you, don’t call me baby because I’m a teen and not a baby anymore, the baby in our family is only Andre” Amarah said while giggling

“Shut up young girl I have a girlfriend I’m not a baby anymore” Andre said with a defensive voice

“Hahaha my babies is now a teen, I love you both” Joyce said and she kissed her kids

“Bye Mom, Bye Dad” Andre and Amarah said in chorus

“Amarah, Michael I’ll be the one who drop you in your campus I’ll gonna go also in my office just wait a minute I will just finish my coffee first “ Michael said

“Make it faster dad, I don’t want to be late, my girlfriend is waiting on me” Andre said in a joke voice

“Andre” Joyce said in a warning voice

“Just kidding mom” Andre laughed

“Bye love” Michael said and kissed Joyce lips

“Ayyieee” Amarah said while giggling

“Take care guys, I love you” Joyce shouted while waving her hands

Since Amarah, Andre and Michael is not in their home, Joyce decided to clean their house.

“It’s now time to clean the house” Joyce uttered and tried to motivate her self

While Joyce is cleaning their house she received a message

‘Be careful honey I’m watching, you are mine’

Joyce heart beats so fast and she replied

“Who is this I think you texted a wrong number” Joyce replies

“No, JOYCE”

this time Joyce’s heart really beats so faaaast as if she’s running.

“Oh my God”she uttered panicky

Instead of worrying she’s just focus her attention in household chores

‘Lalala~lalala~lalalala while sweeping on the floor but deep inside Joyce is uneasy after cleaning the house Joyce decided to sleep and take rest

“MOOOOOM, WE’RE HOOOME” Amarah said with a happy voice

“Hello baby, how’s school?” while kissing their forehead

“Mooom?”

“What?”

“I’m not a baby—-“

“Okay so Amarah how’s school?”

“It was fine mom but it so tiring” Amarah said with a sincere voice

“That’s okay bab— I mean Amarah just take courage and fight” with a cheering voice

“Thanks mom, by the way mom I’ll gonna go in my room and change my clothes first”

“Okay, I will just ready our dinner”

“Andre go to your room and change your clothes” Joyce said to his son Andre

“Yes mom, wait I’ll finish first my assignment because I will watch tv after eating” Andre replied

“Hahaha you crazy” while laughing

“By the way mom where’s daddy?” Andre asked her mom

“I think he’s still on his office”

“Okay mom”

While Amarah and Andre is busy, Joyce received a message

Beep...Beeep... Beeppppp

“I AM WATCHING “ unknown number texted

“This fool man got my nerves” Joyce said with a silent and mad voice

“CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TEXTING ME I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU’RE GETTING INTO MY NERVES”

“Love I’m home”

Joyce just breath deeply and answered

“Love, I’m in the kitchen” Joyce shouted

Michael went to the kitchen and kissed Joyce forehead

“Love, how’s work?” Joyce asked

“Tiring but it’s okay love, seeing you and our children makes me happy” Michael said with a sincere tone

“Thank you love for being a responsible and loving husband and father to us, we are so lucky and blessed to have you. I love you” Joyce said and kiss Michael’s lips

“Mommy PDA” Amarah with a shock voice

“What’s PDA?” Michael said

“Dad it’s Public Display of Affection”

“Whatever Amarah” Andre said

“Stop it guys and take your dinner I know you guys are hungry right?”

“You’re right mom” Amarah and Michael said in chorus

And they just laughed

“Mom lead the prayer please”

“Okay baby, in the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit Amen ‘Lord thank you for this food bless this food as we partake this Lord we praise and glorify your name Amen’ In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit Amen”

“Let’s eaaaaat” Amarah said

After done eating Andre and Michael watched a tv, Amarah is scrolling on her instagram but still Joyce is uneasy because she remembered the text awhile ago

“Stop thinking that Joyce” Joyce trying to motivate herself

“Okay guys it’s time to sleep, good night” Joyce said

“Good night mom” Amarah and Andre said

THE NEXT DAY (Saturday)

Joyce put a letter in their refrigerator

‘I will just go in the market and buy some food’

While Joyce is walking she feels that someone is on her back that’s why she walk faster as fast as she could

“Help—Help” Joyce tried to shout but someone’s grab her hand and knife on her waist

“Stop shouting or else I’ll kill you”

Joyce has nothing to do but to follow

The next thing is Joyce knew that she’s in the van and she feels dizzy that’s why Joyce fell asleep

When Joyce awake she sees darkness full of darkness

“Where I am?” she uttered and she hurriedly touch her pocket to check if her phone is still inside but....

“God, they stole my phone” but suddenly there’s a unfamiliar voice she heard

“You’re awake my love” Joyce can’t recognize the man face because it’s still dark in the room

“WHO ARE YOU, PLEASE LET ME GO MY FAMILY IS WAITING ON ME, PLEASE LET ME GO” Joyce shouted with an angry voice

“I’m not a fool, I waited this for long babe”

“Wait... what babe?..... Ja—James” Joyce uttered with a confusing voice

“Yes babe it’s me and I’m the one who texted you” James smile with a creepy voice

“YOU SON OF EVIL HOW DARE YOU, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!!”

“simple because you belong to me not on Michael “

“SHUT UP JAMES, SHUT UPPPP I HAVE MY OWN FAMILY, I HAVE A PERFECT FAMILY TO BE EXACT YOU DON’T HAVE A PLACE ON MY HEART” Joyce shouted

Pak...Pak...Pak(James slapped Joyce)

“SO—sorry babe” James said with a shock voice

“shut up son of evil, you don’t have a right to do that” Joyce shouted

Then suddenly James kiss Joyce hardly full of force, full of lust

“HEEEEELP-HELPPP LET GO OF ME PLEASE” Joyce begged

“NO YOU SUPPOSE BELONG TO ME BABE, MINE ALONE” James shouted

James is the ex-boyfriend of Joyce way back on their high school year but James left Joyce hanging without a words. Joyce just received a late message that James flew in the Canada that’s why Joyce was sad and hurted until she met Michael

“Please—Please James I HAVE MY FAMILY LET GO OF ME” Joyce begged

“No” James said with a hard voice

James forced Joyce to have sex in short Joyce got rape by James

“Now are you happy? That you got what you want huh?” Joyce said with a tears in her eyes

“GO OUT NOW JOYCE, I DON’T LIKE YOUR TASTE”

Joyce slapped James

“HOW DARE YOU” Joyce shouted

“YOU’LL LEAVE OR I’LL KILL YOU” James said

Joyce hurriedly take her black T-shirt and white skinny jeans and take her black doll shoes

“ONE MORE THING JOYCE IF YOU TELL MICHAEL WHAT HAPPENED I WILL KILL HIM PUT THAT IN YOUR MIND” James warned Joyce

Even though the white skinny jeans of Joyce is dirty she didn’t mind it the only important to her now is she can go to their home

Joyce ran so fast as fast as she could do

“Kuya wait” Joyce sees s taxi driver

“Can you drop me in Barangay 35 Zone 5 Yacapin Extation please” Joyce begged

“What happened ma’am it seems that you’re not okay” taxi driver asked

“Sir please”

“Okay ma’am, go inside”

Joyce thought that she’s now safe but....

“Kuya, this is not the right way” Joyce said with a panic voice

“I know ma’am, I will just taste you and this ride is free” taxi driver said with full of lust and sex desires voice

“PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO” Joyce begged

“Ma’am just one time I know you’re delicious” Manong driver said

“HEEEEEELP” Joyce shouted

Now Joyce got rape twice first is his ex boyfriend James and the taxi driver

So the driver fulfilled what he said he dropped Joyce on their home

“Thank you ma’am it’s my pleasure to tastes you, you’re so delicious” the driver said with a creepy smile

Joyce got trauma on what happened to her, no words she can utter but only tears fell down on her eyes

While Michael waited on the couch

*The door open*

“Love it’s now 12:30 in the midnight, what happened?” Michael asked panicky

But Joyce just cry so hard

“MOMMY WHAT HAPPENED” Amarah asked

“Mom?”Andre said

But still Joyce is crying

The next day

Michael, Andre and Amarah is still didn’t know what happened to Joyce

The happy Joyce is now gone, she got trauma Joyce is crying the whole night full of pain and hatred dominating on her heart

“YOU BROKE ME, YOU BROKE ME” that’s the only words she always uttered

But one time Michael have a confidence to asked Joyce

“Love, here’s your milk and biscuits can you drink and eat this for us?” Michael said

Joyce has no choice she eat and drink Michael’s offered

“Love what happened?” Michael asked

“Love—?Looove” Joyce bursted into tears

“It’s okay what happened” Michael asked again

“I was raped by two men love” Joyce said with tears and sincerity voice

Michael got shock

“You can leave me love i know I’m now dirty”

“no love of course not” Michael said

Joyce still burst out her pains

“who are they love” Michael asked

“James my ex boyfriend and the taxi driver I didn’t knew. Saturday morning.... I was supposed to go in the market——for me to buy a foods but then ....I felt uneasy I knew someone’s is in my back—— and I was right it was James.... he grabbed me and put a knife in my waist that’s why I followed him....because she told me if I will defend my self he will kill me and I fell asleep and when I was awake ——we’re in the dark room and he—forced me to have sex....he raped——me....love, sorry.....sorry and I thought that im safe when I saw the taxi driver but I was wrong he raped me on the taxi, love I was raped twice” Joyce said with tears

“HOW DARE HIM” Michael got angry

“We will let them suffer in jail” Michael said

“No love please they told me if I’ll tell you he will kill you please no love I don’t want you to die, please” Joyce begged

“But....” Michael said

Michael has no choice he just punch the wall super hard to the point that his hand have a blood

The family of Joyce decided to live in America for them to start their life even though the process is not easy but they just forgive and forget what happened they just entrusted everything to God and believes that no matter what happens their is a purpose behind...

God blesses the Joyce and her family and Michael and Joyce decided not to tell Andre and Amarah for them not to be sad they just keep in secret and letting go the past and start a fresh new day... That’s why they live happily ever after

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chicabebs-blog · 5 years

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He was scanning the shelf for this specific book published by Lightbooks way back 2013. Nakailang hanap din siya pero wala na talaga siyang makita.

Kanina pa niya napapansin na may grupo ng mga estudyante ang nakatitig sa kanya. Ilang beses niyang nginitian ang mga iyon—hindi yata sanay na may gaya niyang tumatambay sa pop fiction books. Nagpapaluan na ang mga iyon habang nakatingin sa kanya.

Sanay naman na siya sa ganoong eksena. Pero hindi iyon ang ipinunta niya sa panglimang National Bookstore na dinaanan. Wala na ang hinahanap niyang libro. Hindi na tuloy niya alam kung saan pa siya makakahanap niyon.

Sa dami ng librong naroon, kung ano pa yung gusto niyang bilhin, ‘yon pa ang wala.

He left that shelf at nadatnan na naman ang mga libro niyang nasa bestseller stalls. Kahit saan siya lumingon, nakikita niya ang pseudonym niya.

Hindi naman sa ikinakahiya niyang writer siya, pero sa panahon kasi kung kailan niya naisipang magsulat, kinakailangan talaga niya ng pseudonym para lang hindi malaman ang tunay niyang pagkatao sa likod ng pen name niya.

Gregory Troye.

Humihilera sa mga alamat ng romantic novels ang pangalang iyon sa Pilipinas. Unang labas pa lang ng unang libro niya, hindi niya inaasahang tatangkilikin iyon ng mga mambabasa. Hanggang sa nasundan ng isa, naging tatlo, hanggang umabot na 26 novels ang nai-publish under sa pangalang iyon.

At kahit hindi niya hiniling, alam niya sa sarili niyang malaki ang utang na loob niya sa pagsusulat.

He just wanted a release. Gusto lang niyang maglabas ng sama ng loob noong umpisa—malay ba niyang yayaman siya sa paglalabas ng libro.

“Miss, wala na talaga kayo ng kopya ng libro ni Althea Doe?”

Halos magmakaawa na ang tono niya sa babaeng naka-uniform sa customer service.

“Sir, nag-check na po kami ng inventory, na-pull out na po lahat ng copy.”

Again, bigo na naman siya.

“May copy pa kaya online?” nasabi na lang niya habang nakatingin sa kahabaan ng aisle ng NBS sa Robinson’s Novaliches.

~ Hawakan mo ang aking kamay

At tayong dalawa’y maghahasik ng kaligayahan ~

Napadukot siya sa bulsa ng suot na jeans dahil sa tumatawag.

“Good morning, Carl John speaking.”

“Vince, hi!”

Nilayo agad niya ang phone sa tainga at sinilip kung sino ang tumatawag.

Karen

Binalikan niya ang tumatawag at saka siya ngumiti nang malapad habang nilalakad ang palabas ng bookstore.

“Hi, Karen! How are you?”

“Doing good! Anyway, sorry, alam kong busy ka. Alam ko namang ayaw mo nang naabala kapag walang kailangan sa ‘yo.”

Alam na alam na agad ng kausap niya kung ano ang ugali niya. Sinabi naman na niya dati pa sa mga kaibigan na huwag siyang tatawagan o kukumustahin kapag walang kailangan sa kanya. Mauubos kasi ang oras niya kakakausap sa kanila, nawawala siya sa concentration.

“Drop it, darling,” sabi pa niya at nginitian ang guwardiyang nakabantay sa entrance ng bookstore bilang paalam.

“I really need a help right now. My company’s financially unstable.”

“Manghihiram ng pera?”

“I could use a loan, pero kasi . . . we need to terminate half of our people.”

Pinagmamasdan niya ang paligid habang pinakikinggan ang kausap. Nadaan niya ang mga nasa makeup section ng Ze Beau. Sinusundan siya ng tingin ng mga transgender at kinikindatan pa siya habang matipid na kinakawayan.

Ngumiti na lang din siya pabalik at saka kumaway rin bago ideretso ang tingin.

“Yung lead editor ko, freelancer lang. And madalas siyang wala sa office. Wala akong makuhang ka-level niya or beyond her skills—”

“Let me guess,” putol niya agad sa kausap at itinaas pa ang kanang hintuturo. “Editor?”

He heard the Karen sigh. “Sana.”

“Uhm okay, Karen, actually I have a project right now. Gusto ko sanang isingit sa schedule pero—” Natigilan siya sa paglalakad nang makita na naman yung maliit na babaeng nang-agaw sa kanya noon ng libro ni Gregory Troye. May hawak itong chocolate sundae sa cone at kalalabas lang ng Booksale.

“If hindi avail, Vince, okay lang, ha? Nagbabakasakali lang naman. I know you’re so busy.”

“It’s fine, Karen. Siguro, I’ll pay a visit na lang sa office n’yo tomorrow. Usap tayo about your company’s problem. Baka matulungan kita financially.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Vince. I owe you one.”

“You’re welcome. Anyway, I gotta go. Bye!” At nagpatay na agad siya ng phone at saka sinundan yung babaeng halos ipahiya niya noon, mabili lang nito ang huling kopya ng Young Blood’s Debt—yung third published novel niya.

Hindi naman sa may galit siya, but he really thought that she was a minor buying a Rated-18 book. At ayaw niyang nakakakita ng minor na bumibili ng libro niya kaya pinilit niyang agawin ang huling kopya ng libro. Sinabi niyang siya ang bibili niyon dahil minor pa ang kausap niya. He was surprised na pagkatapos niyang dalhin sa customer service ang babaeng akala niya ay minor, malalaman niyang 25 years old na pala ito at mukha lang grade 9 student. Malay ba niya?

Sinundan niya iyon hanggang sa tapat ng Padi’s Point bago sumakay ng jeep pa-Philcoa.

----------

Sampung taon—hindi singhaba ng taon gaya ng sa ibang writer na kasabayan niya sa mga shelf ng MC room, pero sampung taon na siyang sikat bilang contemporary, ecstacy, and gothic romance writer. At karamihan naman talaga ng readers niya ay puro adults dahil iyon ang target market niya.

“Shit!”

Except for some cases na may naaabutan siyang minor na bumibili ng libro niya sa bookstore.

“Oh my gosh! Hala, nag-iisa na lang!”

He stood there staring at this girl na naka-T shirt ng black, naka-jean shorts at naka-sandals. Kasabayan niya iyong naghahanap ng libro. Hinahanap niya ang libro ni Althea Doe at malay ba naman niyang bigla itong titili sa tabi niya habang hawak ang isang libro—librong pinanlakihan niya ng mata dahil libro niya iyon.

“Wala na? Nasaan na yung iba?” He grunted at her voice. Boses batang inaagawan ng candy. Pinanood pa niya itong magkalkal ng bookshelf. “Kuya, excuse nga, ‘wag kang harang.”

Napaatras na lang siya at lalong pinanlakihan ng mata ang batang babaeng nag-iisa-isa ng libro sa bookshelf na hinintuan niya.

“Shit, wala na! Hnngg!” Nagpapadyak ito sa kinatatayuan at parang nagdadabog pa dahil hindi nito nakita ang hinahanap. Ilang saglit pa ay tinitigan na naman nito ang libro na parang nakakuha ng kayamanan. “Sa wakas, mabibili na rin kita.”

Pahakbang pa lang ito nang bigla niyang hinalbot ang libro.

“What the fuck!” Bigla siya nitong dinuro—o yung libro ang tinuturo nito. “Hoy!”

“Can’t you see? Bawal sa minor ‘to?” Ipinakita pa niya ang likuran ng libro at itinuro ang barcode sa ibaba na may nakalagay na Rated-18.

Nagpamaywang ang batang babae at tinaasan siya ng kilay. “Pake ko?”

Oh Lord. Umiling na lang siya at pumunta sa counter.

“Hoy! Mister, excuse me! Ako ang unang nakakuha niyan!”

Nagpatuloy lang siya sa paglalakad papuntang counter. Sa ganitong araw at oras pa naman, wala halos tao dahil wala naman gaanong pumupunta ng National Bookstore sa buwan ng November.

“Miss, I’ll buy this book,” sabi niya agad sa babaeng cashier at inilapag sa counter ang librong may title na Young Blood’s Debt ni Gregory Troye.

“Miss, wait!” Halos lumipad naman ang batang babae sa counter at inagaw agad ang libro bago pa makuha ng cashier. “Ako yung nauna rito e!”

“Any problem?” Iyan ang mababasa sa timpla ng mukha at tindig niya. Nagpamaywang lang ito at pinagtaasan din siya ng mukha habang tinitingala siya nito.

“Kapal mo, ‘no? Wala kang magawang maganda, ha?”

“You don’t talk to me like that, baby girl,” sabi pa niya sa batang babaeng tinataasan din siya ng kilay.

“Baby girl mo mukha mo.” Ibinaling nito ang atensyon sa cashier. “Ako ang bibili nito, miss.” At saka nito ibinagsak ang libro sa counter. “Ako ang naunang nakakuha niyan, ako ang bibili.” At masamang tingin ang ipinukol nito sa kanya para maghamon.

“Bawal sa minor ang book,” pagpipilit pa niya.

“So?”

“Ma’am, bawal po talaga sa minor,” segunda pa ng cashier at nginitian ng matipid ang batang babae.

“So?” pag-uulit na naman nito at lalo pang nagmataray.

“In short, bawal sa ‘yo,” panapos na lang niya at inurong sa tabi niya ang libro para ilayo sa batang babaeng kaaway.

“E kung sampalin kaya kita, makita mo.”

Hindi siya makapaniwalang sinasagot-sagot lang siya nang gano’n ng isang bata. Parang hindi nito nakikitang nakasuot na nga siya ng blue-and-khaki formal attire, naka-eyeglasses pa siya, at halos ipamukha na niya rito ang edad niya, pero nagawa ba siyang sagutin nang pabalang.

“Sino ang parents mo?” Iyon na lang ang naitanong niya at saka nagpamaywang—talo pa ang professor na nanenermon ng estudyante niya.

“Fuck that.”

“Watch your language, baby girl.”

She just smirked and shook her head in dismay. Dumukot ito sa bulsa ng shorts at inilabas ang UMID nito sabay lapag sa counter habang di inaalis ang tingin sa kanya.

“Miss, pakisabi nga sa lalaking ‘to kung paano naging bawal sa akin yung libro?” hamon pa nito habang tinitingnan siya nang sobrang talim.

Hindi nito inalis ang tingin sa kanya kaya hindi rin siya bumitiw sa tingin nito.

“Sino po ang bibili ng libro sa inyo?”

“Ako!” magkasabay pa nilang sinabi.

“Sir, 25 na po si ma’am. Magkasundo na lang po kayo kung sino ang bibili.”

“Who’s—she?” Itinuro pa niya ang batang babaeng nakapamaywang sa kanya at tinataasan siya ng kilay.

Hindi lang naman siya makapaniwala. Malay ba niya.

“Ako na’ng bibili, miss. Nauna ako,” sabi pa nito sabay irap sa kanya.

Hindi na siya nakipagtalo pa. Tinitigan na lang niya nang maigi ang babaeng nasa harapan niya. Mukha kasi talaga ‘tong bata. Ni wala ngang pimple sa makinis na mukha, parang balat ng bata. Mukhang naalagaang mabuti kasi kutis-gatas. Mahaba rin ang diretsong buhok na sobrang taas ng pagkaka-ponytail dahil halos umabot na sa bumbunan. Kahit yung relo nito, kulay pink din. Maganda nga, kung tutuusin, mukha lang talagang spoiled na Grade 9 student.

“Next time, don’t meddle with other people’s business, ha?” paalala pa nito sa kanya. “Daming alam.”

At saka ito umalis dala ang libro niya.

Hindi na siya nakapalag pa. Hindi lang talaga siya makapaniwalang mangyayari iyon.

***

#Gregory #Troye #Buddies

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lunchbox-dilemmas · 5 years

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Day 1.0

I never thought that I’ll be back with this writing shit but I am losing my mind. I need this outlet and I don’t want to bother my friends anymore because of the same shit that’s haunting me for more than a month now.

March 05. It’s your 32nd birthday today. I went to your house yesterday unannounced. I don’t know what was I thinking.. I found myself driving to your direction. My mind was blank. I just know that I don’t want to go to my own place. I couldn’t consider my dad’s house as my home anymore because for me wherever you are is my home. I don’t want to lock myself up in my fucking room and cry myself to sleep which I’m doing since you left me.

I arrived before you so I played with baby Lucas. God, how I miss that cute little baby boy. Then you arrived. You didn’t even bother to look at me. What’s left of my heart shattered even more. You went out for a smoke and I followed you out. You looked like a mess. A freaking mess. I can see in your eyes that you are so tired with our drama. Our fucking sick little world consisting of you, me, and her.

In our bedroom, scratch that. I don’t belong there anymore. In YOUR bedroom, you finally acknowledged my presence and spat words that hurt me. “Pat, bakit ka andito? Ako nagcacause sayo ng sakit, bakit andito ka pa din?” I was lost for words. Yes, you are the reason why I feel like dying but you are also my remedy. Your presence calms me and you’re like a pill that numbs the pain in my heart. But I just couldn’t admit that to you because I know you’ll end up pitying me for depending my happiness in your being. And I also want to be with you when the clock strikes 12 midnight. I wanted to be the first person to greet you on your birthday. “Ayoko umuwi. Di ko kayang harapin si kuya.” that’s what I told you. And yes. That is also true. You fucking told my cousin about the cuts I made and how suicidal I am because of our breakup. I was so mad when you told him about it. But what can I do, my anger fades easily especially if it’s towards you. Fuck this. Yes, you really are my kryptonite.

You rant about the things that you felt as of that moment. How fucking tired you were of everything. Ranting about how selfish am I for not thinking about what will happen to you and to the important people around me every time I thought of hurting myself physically. You said that instead of only worrying about her, now you have to worry about me, too. And these shit are draining the life out of you. You again lectured me about how important life is and that you’re facing too many problems and how I am not helping because I became one for you, too.

And then it happened. She had an episode. And it’s because of me. Because of me being there with you. It fucking tore my already broken heart into tiny little pieces knowing that I caused it. I caused harm and pain to her because of wanting to be with the fucking person who I love more than myself. You wanted me to go home so that she wouldn’t think that something’s going on between us. You even wanted to go to her that night so that she could calm down. TANGINA. PUTANGINA. ANG SAKIT SAKIT LANG. I told you that I don’t want to go back home. It will be that last time for me and you. It will be the last time I will sleep in our room. It will be the last time I will see you, hold you, and feel you. Even though it fucking hurts like hell. So I decided to stay. I went out to smoke I dunno how many cigs. And I decided to buy you a fucking cake so that I can surprise you when midnight comes. When I got back, I decided to send her a message apologizing and entrusting you to her. She didn’t reply. I do hope that you’ll be both happy when I am gone. Gone in this world.

We decided to go to sleep past 10pm I think. She stopped sending you messages on messenger. And you are so emotionally tired trying to pacify her and facing me. I hugged you but you keep on avoiding it. Di ko na alam kung may puso pa ba ako kasi durog na durog na durog na ako tangina. I told you that it will be the last so you let me.

I was awoken by my alarm at 11:55 pm. You were having a dream then you became startled and confused and you suddenly hugged me. “anong nangyayari?” lol I will miss that sleeping habit of yours. I hugged and kissed you telling “naalimpungatan ka matulog ka na ulit”. Then I went to the kitchen and get the cake. I went back to our room and lit the freaking candle. I woke you up. “Happy birthday, Papao.” You were surprised. Then you smiled. “thank you. Sobrang naappreciate ko.” I hugged you and kissed you on the forehead. You made a wish which I am curious about and blew the candle. You ate a slice and you loved it. Mango Meringue Symphony. :) We went back to sleep and this time, you hugged me.

I couldn’t sleep well that night. Knowing that it will be my last with you. Knowing that I couldn’t feel you in my arms again and watch you sleep. It was so hard for me. So fucking hard. And then your alarm went off. It was time for you to wake up. But for me that alarm signifies that I should wake up and my time in her life is up. Tangina ang sakit sakit lang.

You woke up. Took a bath. I will miss watching you get dressed every morning before going to work. You asked me to iron your top which I did happily. I will miss doing this kind of things for you. I will miss how you always asked for my help in rolling your sleeves for you. I will miss this precious little moments with you. And when we were about to go, I was teary eyed already. You were about to go out whn I told you to wait. I hugged you tightly for one last time and kissed you for one last time. A goodbye kiss.

You rode my motorcycle for the last time too and I drove you to Don Antonio. We said our farewells. You said “bye. Ingat ka ah.” I replied “Okay ikaw din ingat ka. I love you”. Then you crossed the street. And I watched you walk away until I couldn’t see you.

The drive on my way to my house was not the same as before. It was like I am driving away from everything. Driving away from you. Driving away from all the good and bad memories. Driving away from all the toxicity that was caused by us three. It was bittersweet.

I just really need to move on from you. So I can keep my sanity. So I can love myself now.

#masakit beshie #broken #how to move on

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rarestnicole · 6 years

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I know I that I should stop typing my thoughts at 3 AM 'cause I always end up sleeping at 5 AM. Well, I dunno. The senseful things come to me at this hour eh. LOL. And hey, it's just 2:32 AM, I still have time to type before 3 AM. So, I should start.

I was tagged in a post of my dear friend, Marry Joy. It was actually a shared post, tapos t-in-ag niya ako. And guess what? Ah, whatever. Even if you don't guess, I'd still type it anyway--whatever. Three letters; U, P, K. Yep!

Hay.

Her caption. Well, that's true. We dreamed of being a UP student. Hahaha. Ang sarap kayang mangarap! Ang hirap lang talaga tuparin. Well, as for me, I had chances that I chose to ignore. Alam ko kasi that it may not be what God is planning for me. My tries might be futile kasi all along, hindi ako para doon. Sa school, ha. Pero Lord, sa taga-UP, pwede po ba? Hahaha. Eeey, Anne Nicole, this one's not for that. Focus kasi, saan saan ka naman nakakarating ulit eh. Tsk.

So, UPK.

*sigh*

Amazing.

Hanggang ngayon, amazed pa rin ako. Wth, right? Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. LOL.

Tiningnan ko 'yong mga notes ko sa Google Keep ko nung July 2017. Hahahaha. Ah, inabangan ko pala at tinandaan ang mga names nila. MALAMANG, mga Kuya at Ate eh. Magandang experience kasi kaya tatandaan ko talaga. Hahahahaha. Weird lang eh. Puro mga names lang ng mga Kuya ang nilagay ko sa Keep.

"Ewan ko sa'yo."

Ewan ko talaga sa'kin. Hahaha. Ang pinunta ko naman talaga doon is to experience that KF kasi hindi nga ako madalas payagan ni Mommy na sumama sa mga ganun. Ewan ko ba pero hindi naman ako prinsesa, ayaw lang talaga niyang mawalay ako sa piling niya ng napakatagal. Aaaawww, you Mommy, ha! You! Jeez, Mom. HAHAHA. Joke lang. Hindi rin talaga ako interested masiyado. March 2017, may SSG Training kami dapat. I wanted to go, ayaw lang ni Mommy. But I just shrugged and agreed. Okay lang, nakapag-SPG Training naman na 'ko sa Looc nung grade 6 ako. And Representative lang naman ako, kaya na nilang itayo ang bandera ng Sta. Fe doon. Haha. And nalaman ko sa pag-uwi nila na may ginawa silang kahihiyan dun. Hahahaha. Yikes, if I was there, hindi ako masasali kasi hindi naman ako lumalabas ng kwarto. Haha. Kinausap daw ng teacher na kasama ng officers ng SFNHS ang mga students ng ibang school ng lasing. Sir, ilam sa imo. Gosh, 'yong mga sinabi naman ni Sir eh. 😂 No regrets about my decision.

Sa UPK, iba eh. Mom, I should go. Pinapatugtog ko pa nun lagi ang mga kanta ni Mandy Moore kaya kapag pinapakinggan ko ngayon ang Someday We'll Know, feeling ko nandoon ulit ako while wearing a pair of jogging pants kasi I didn't bring any shorts. No way in hell.

Tapos nagsimula na pala ang Day 1.

KA. LO. KA. Naalala ko ang about sa jokes. Damn, hindi ko alam kung tatawanan ko na lang ba tapos pilit ko na lang itatago ang pag-cringe ko dahil sa poor delivery o kakaawan ko kasi, "Fre naman! Umupo ka na lang sana at nanahimik tulad ko," o 'di naman kaya ay hahanga sa guts niya. Well, Nyx, at least they have the guts. Duh! Waley pa rin. Hiyang hiyang hiyang hiya na talaga ako nung may nag-entry galing sa school namin tapos 'yong teacher namin, pinipilit kaming suportahan. Okay, I understand naman na schoolmate eh kaya dapat suportahan. Pero SIR, kung hindi ako natawa sa joke, pwedeng manahimik na lang ako. Baka masamid pa ako sa fake laugh. Damn, I did well when I sticked to my principles. May kumanta pa! Gusto ko 'yong guts ni koya pero ang lyrics, no-no. He sang something so popular na kahit hindi ko pakinggan from my phone araw araw ay masasaulo ko because it's played every freaking where. And sorry kung I sound like a proud jerk at ang OA ko naman kasi kailangan talagang ganito, but saulo ko na ang song and its sharps and flats.kaya ang disturbing lang kapag hindi niya nahi-hit ang note. When you sing a song, 'yong bagay dapat sa boses mo. Hindi lang 'yong popular, 'yan ang natutunan ko through my experiences. Haha. Whatever. Pa-cute pa ng pa-cute sa stage. Yikes, thank God hindi ako naa-attract sa itsura lang. I'd leave my body and wander as a soul if ganun. Haha. Kidding.

Ah, maja. The hosts. Magagaling sila, the best. HAHAHA. Magagaling magsalita. Aaaw, 🎶 take me back, back, back 🎶. They're cool. May kamukha ang isa eh. Hmm, tsk tsk. He looks like someone that I might end up with in the future. HAHAHA. Ano ba 'to. And this, self, is the very reason why you should type your thoughts at night and not during the *dawn*. Tulog na lang nga ako. 😂 Dami kong alam eh. Pagalitan pa ako nun, patay na. Bye, bye, Anne Nicole na naman. Tss. Nakaka-trauma kaya mapagsabihan ng taong gusto mo. Feeling ko tuloy kailangan ko muna maging perfect para hindi na ako magkamali. Huhuhu. You're so uptight, eh ang chill ko pa naman din. Pwedeng chill ka lang rin? Tssssss! I want to talk to you pa naman. TSS!

I wish I could stop... but I just couldn't. Charot. I'll stop.

I'll stop talking and continue with what happened. Matitinong mga pangyayari.

Wait lang.

Nakalimutan ko na ang mga matinong nangyari. :>

Ah. Nagka-crush ko doon eh. (#AngTino) The f. (Tingnan mo 'tong gusto rawng matuto pero crush ang pinagtuunan ng pansin. Wala talagang hiya.) So ayun nga, first night yata 'yon? Eh magbabasa nga kasi sila ng notes from us. Eh ang supportive ng mga schoolmates ko, wooh, cheers for the best pals in school! Yeah. Char. Edi nagsulat din ako. Hahahaha. Sila nag-provide (yata) ng masusulatan at panulat, sila rin ang nagbigay, pero ako ang nagsulat. Thank God, sa maayos ko pong penmanship. Nabasa naman. Pagkatapos nilang ibigay, humiga na ako sa kinauupuan ko para makinig... while recording it sa phone ko. Eh, crush ko nga kasi at babasahin ang note ko! Ba't ba kasiiii?! Kailangan kasi ng remembrance eh! Proof pa para maalala ko na nangyari nga at hindi ilusyon! At bakit ba! Binabasa. Kasi. Ang. Note. Ko. Why baaa? Twice yata akong nagbigay eh. (Walangya ka talaga, akala ko ba UP ang ipinunta? Ba't biglang naging 'taga-UP'?) Daw buang gid takon kato. Pero kalma kalma lang, baka tumaas ang energy ko bigla at lakarin ko pauwi ang Santa Fe. Kalma lang, ayaw ko pa umuwi.

Eh dahil crush ko nga, syempre tinitingnan ko. (Bwisit ko talaga, Salvador.) Hahahaha. Nakakahiyang nilalang. Papa, Mama at Mommy, hindi niyo po alam ito dahil dapat lang naman talaga, ayaw kong matakwil 'no. Hapon ng second day, nakikinig ako sa speaker nang bigla akong hipan ni Hypnos at antukin. Alipin pa naman ako ng antok ko. Haha. At kasi, nakakahiya namang humiga doon habang nagsasalita, (wait, parang mas nakakahiya ang pag-alis namin habang may nagsasalita. Pero malay naman nila, baka nakinig kami mula sa kwarto kaysa naman makita talaga nilang natutulog ako.) Natulog po ako sa room namin. Hanggang alas cinco. Yes, I missed a lot at nagsisi naman ako nung nalaman ko kung ano. SAYANG NAMAN, SALVADOR. Hindi ka na sana gumising. Tssss!!! Eh photo collage contest na, I have to watch. Nakakahiya naman na natulog lang ako, so naisip kong suportahan na ang mga ka-batch ko at ibang besties: sina Rene, Apple, Jarene, Danielle at Marvin yata. Can't remember na. Pumunta ako sa room kung saan sila gumagawa AND TO MY GREAT SURPRISE, nandoon ang crush ko. Edi hindi na ako umalis? Yep, maliban na lang nung inutusan kami dalawa ni Aaron, siya kasi kasa-kasama ko nun. Mabuti at naligo ako pagkagising ko. Amazeballs, galing mo Nyx. Iyan ang gusto ko sa'yo; kapag mukha kang ewan ay naliligo ka. At mabuti na lang at nagpalit ako ng damit dahil naka-white top ako na off shoulder, eh umuulan at hindi yata ako naka-high waist pants. (Push mo 'yan.) So nagpalit ako.

Ang creepy ko kaya magka-crush! Hahahaha. Kapag gusto ko, gusto ko talaga. Nakakahiya. Syempre nga kasi aalis naman kami agad, at hindi ko na ulit makikita ang crush ko (huhu, bye my darling dear, charot hahaha), at hindi kasi nanuod ang ibang schoolmates ko sa games nung 2nd night, kaya ni-record ko na lang. Ah, I'm such a thoughtful schoolmate. Dapat in-award-an ako niyan nung graduation eh. Tss, hindi marunong mag-appreciate. Anyway, nag-video nga ako pero 'yong sakto lang. Hindi naman siguro nahalata ng mga sumasayaw sa stage na vi-nideohan ko sila, ano? Pakialam ba nila, eh todo sayaw na sila ng Gimme Gimme, kawawa naman ang stage. Feeling ko na-harass dahil sa moves nila. Gosh, my innocence.

Ang dami ko kayang remembrance noon.

Kaso binura ko na eh. :‹ (bitter mo kasi)

Okay lang.

Nilipat ko naman kasi sa flash drive kaya binura ko sa phone. Heller! Sayang ang effort ko nun 'no! Tapos, ide-delete ko lang? Oh my gosh, no. 😂 Nilipat ko kasi lahat sa flash drive kaya binura ko na sa phone memory.

So I stalked my crush nung bumalik na kami sa room. The f, ang bagal ng internet sa Odiongan nun, gusto ko nang umuwi para lang mag-Facebook. Free data na 'yon ha, kasi nga ang bagal rin kahit may data. Hala freeeeee! I found it. His account. Oh my god, I'm so brilliant. #ProudMoment07'17 My gooooooooods, engineering ang course. Aaaw, magaling sa Math. Zero balance pa naman ako sa Math. (Kidding! Medyo mabilis naman ako mag-compute ng addition at subtraction at multiplication at division mentally. Hehe. Oo, proud na ako dun kasi why not? Eh sa 'yon na ang best ko eh. Ba't ba. Haha. Sa lahi daw ng Asis ang magaling sa Math, kaso dahil sa apo na ako, medyo malayo na sa Asis kaya ang mga basic lang ang kaya ko.) Wow lang, bakit ka po Engineering? Huhuhu. Wala kang kaalam-alam pero pinagpipiyestahan ko na ang infos mo sa Facebook at tuwang tuwa pa ako. (katakot 'to) I was like, "Wow." (wow, hindi jeje HAHAHAHAHA hindi naman siya mukhang ganun pero kasi 'di ba, Hey Stephen, Taylor knows that looks can be deceiving but she thinks she saw a light in you.)

Ah, ilang beses ba akong nagpa-picture? HAHAHAHAHA. I'm so humiliating. Eh kasi naman, remembrance kasi fre eh.

Kailan nga kami umuwi? July 24 yata. Since that day, nagkaroon na ng password ang cellphone ko. Hahahaha. At, sobrang low ng brightness, feeling ko wala na akong nakita sa phone. 😂 Whatever. May nabasa kasi ako noon sa Wattpad na one shot ni ate Rayne Mariano eh. 15 Days. Yep. Naniwala ako doon. Hahaha. Eh kasi bata pa ako noon, mga 17. Hahaha. Whatever.

Hindi na natanggal ang password ko ever since that day. Wala naman talaga akong tinatago sa phone ko. 15 days ko lang naman sana ilalagay ang lock. Kaso nakita naman agad nila ang tinatago ko kaya I shrugged the idea off na lang. Bahala na nga, yago ran basi gani nagpinati takon man. Hay nako.

Hala, parang nainis pa nga nun 'yong crush ko kasi, ba't ba 'ko pa-picture ng pa-picture?! Mukha lang akong tanga. Whatever, wala kang alam. Hmp. 😂 Ay, suplado. HAHAHA. Kuya, don't be mad na. I just want a remembrance kasi. You don't know me naman kaya mainis ka lang, you still look cute anyway. Go lang. Hahaha. Doon sa remembrance, mukha akong tanga. I don't like my smile talaga, ugh. I look stupid. Kuya, don't be mad na, you won't see me again (you wish). Kuya... this is the last day. Huhuhu. Pagbigyan mo na 'ko. Ayaw ko pa umuwi nun. :3 Seyeng.

I think I'm pretty blessed. He read my notes, pinayagan niya akong magpa-picture sa kanya, may empty chairs sa malapit sa table nila na feeling ko, sinadya ni Lord. You po Lord haaa~. Hmm. 😂

So patalon-talon akong pumunta sa harap ng kwarto namin para sumakay sa jeep 'cause we're going home. :{ Hindi matanggal ang ngiti ko pauwi. HAHAHAHAHA. Tapos biglang, sino nga ulit si JP Caras? 😂

Nung umuwi na kami :‹, nag-internet agad ako. Hooοh, feeling ko napagkaitan ako ng rights to open my social media accounts at ng chance to, um... hehe, stalk. Like hello! Why naman, Odiongan? So, Facebook, Twitter at Instagram. Yes, stalker mode. Yuck, creepy. (ikr, but idc :›) Hindi lang naman kasi siya ang stinalk ko. Some Ates and Kuyas, tiningnan ko lang naman eh. :3 Sa totoo lang, hindi naman ako ganun ka-active sa Twitter eh. Minsan lang, nakakalimutan ko kasi na may account ako at ang password ko. Trivia: Tuwing bubuksan ko ang accounts ko, nagpapalit ako ng password. Haha. I am no Mnemosyne's daughter, alright? She must've hated me. :< Grabe naman po ang nangyari sa memory ko. Huhu.

Tutuloy ko 'to bukas dahil mag-aalas cuatro na. 3:47 AM, ‹061618›

Tsk. I won't edit this. :p

ΔItinuloy noong ika-27 ng Hunyo, taong 2018, 14:41Δ

Yep, ngayon ko lang naituloy. Hahaha.

Hindi nga ako ganun ka-active sa Twitter pero kapag nandun ako, tweet talaga ako ng tweet. Kahit ano ang nasa isip ko, tweet. I like typing my thoughts nga 'di ba, at wala naman talagang nagpi-pay ng attention sa kung anu-anong itu-tweet ko kaya pakawala talaga ako doon. Haha. Sana naman wala akong masamang sinabi sa kung sino doon. Hindi ko na kasi maalala tweets ko eh. Hahaha.

Hala, paano ko nga ulit nalaman kung may Twitter siya? Hahaha. I can't remembeeeer. Basta hinanap ko yata silang lahat (yata ulit). And I found his. Waaah~ He's so admirable. Huhuhu. I don't like the color of his shirt sa DP niya noon pero okay lang. Hahahaha. Stalker much? Ang pangit ng stalker. Tss. Fan na lang kaya? Fan? HAHA. Para kang tanga, Nyx. Go pa. 😂 what! ever!

Syempre f-in-ollow ko na. Okay lang, hindi naman niya ako kilala. Imposible, sabi ko pa. In-add ko sa Facebook kasi gusto ko lang naman siyang maging friend kahit sa FB lang at hindi naman ako harmful. Hahahaha. Naisip ko nga noon na baka hindi naman niya ia-accept, pero okay lang ica-cancel ko na lang after a week. 😂 Pero hindi ko na f-in-ollow sa Instagram, baka naman makahalata siya. Nung in-accept na niya ang FR ko sa FB, rejoice! Rejoice ng lantaran sa harap ng mga pamangkin. Bahala kayo diyan, eh sa masaya ako eh. Tss.

But...

Shems ang posts kooooo!

Too late.

Stupid as ever.

Pero sige na nga lang! He don't know me anyway!

Tapos 'Hi' pa 'ko ng 'Hi' sa Twitter kasi nga hindi naman niya mababasa.

Eh nag-followback siya.

I so hate you for being so shameless, Anne Nicole.

Pero hindi ako nagsisi... muntik lang.

Hahahaha.

Isang decision lang ang p-in-ush ko kay Mommy ha. Wala naman akong alam sa mga susunod na mangyayari. Pero that was the best decision ever!

No regrets.

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the1997diaries · 7 years

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20 Things I Learned Before Turning 20

Last August 29, I turned 20, bye teenage life huhuhu but adulting sounds exciting too. Hello, lovely people! These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing and started writing some sort of what I’ve learned for the past 19 years of my life before I turn 20. Being a teenager, it’s always there… and tbh there are a lot of ups and downs that the world will throw at us but it will definitely give us something in return. As I grew up, there are these thoughts that I’ve realized and things that I never imagined I can do. Lowkey who would have thought that this girl who cried on her first day of college, that girl who doesn’t know how to do a marketing plan and that awkward little girl would be someone she actually never envisioned she will be. Gawhd time flies so fast. And as I infiltrate another milestone of my life, here are the things I’ve learned throughout that roller coaster ride of being a teenager.

Face your fears. No one could ever face that except you. Go out of your nutshell, spread your wings and just be that person that is you. Let people love you for who you really are.

Family is always a blessing. I know I’m not the only one who ever dreamt of having a perfect family. There are these times that I wish to have a different mother and father even sisters. But at the end of the day, there’s no such thing as perfection, there is only love. And that love is the reason why I’m here. I have to accept the fact that my family is the greatest blessing God has given me for any reason. I know these people are the ones who never and will never leave me despite all my inconsistencies and all.

I am not special, I’m not the sun. Heard it from ate Hannah Ngohayon, a vlogger. I am not special. I guess by this age I must constantly remind myself that “the world doesn’t revolve around me” and I have to deal with it. People do have other priorities other than me, the same way I don’t towards them.

Don’t ever lose yourself by just trying to catch up to the world. No matter how weird you are, you are beautiful, you are unique and it’s just a matter of appreciation. Of how you will turn your insecurities into something favorable to you. Don’t compare yourself to other people cos you don’t know their stories and they might as well don’t know your story. Lastly,

We can lose friendships. And that’s okay. But a real friendship will end up still together even after a long time separation. Because the equivalent of friendship is misunderstandings but at the end of the day, real friends will choose friendship and forgiveness more than anything else. And real friends will never EVER turn their back on you despite all your irrationality, and those people are the people worth keeping for.

Don’t let others make fun of you. Because you don’t deserve that, girl. You deserve to be complimented in a nice way. Because swear, that’ll be the start of having doubts about yourself. Don’t ever let that happen to you.

Appreciate the little things. No matter how small it is, remember that other people might not have what you have and they deserve it even more than you. And yet you have it.

Say I Love You. cos it will definitely not kill you. Say Thank you. For everyone deserves to hear that, not because they did something for you but because their presence is… just enough.

I can do all things. Through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13. I suddenly remember what my high school teacher told us: “To see is to believe but to believe is to see”. I know I can do such things but doubts are always making its way to me and my goals. But to believe that God has it already planned for you then I guess you just have to believe that we all can do it.

It’s okay to cry. Because all of us is capable of being hurt. But you must always know how to see the light behind it just like what the cliché saying goes: “There’s always a rainbow after the rain”.

It’s okay to have fun and it’s okay to be happy. Because you deserve it too and as simple as that. But it doesn’t mean that you will only have fun when you’re with your friends or family. Happiness can also be found inside of you, you just have to let it go. And sometimes because of our over and rational thinking, we most likely to make more mistakes. So gotta make use of own guts sometimes as well.

Keep a journal. I’ve learned it from kuya Nate Punzalan, a vlogger also. Hello, hello, hello #PUNmily. That every people must have a journal, or most likely I should have a journal. We never know when we will get some kind of inspiration to write because inspirations can come from nowhere. And when we have it, we grab it, we write it.

Control your emotions. I recently watched Kita Kita. That part where Lea chose to just stare at her fiancé and her friend together rather than to confront them directly with a lot of people watching. I’ve realized that you don’t have to waste your time for those undeserving people because that will only take a lot of your energy that deserves more than that.

Think before you speak. And just what the old saying says: “Do not unto others what you do not want others to undo you”. So you have to think about the things you want to blabber out to people because as much as you do, they can be hurt in just a matter of snap.

Don’t live to impress people. You can’t even please all the people around you so girl, don’t bother impressing them for something you’re really not. You’ll just end up the victim of your own frame-up story.

Some people can’t give you what you expect them to do for you. One of the feeling that I hate the most is the feeling of disappointment. And by that I need to have something to control it, to alter it and that is to… just don’t expect too much from people. In that way, you’ll not just be helping yourself not to get hurt but at the same time, you can take things lightly as well.

Everything happens for a reason. a cliche. I always knew or more likely I want to always keep in mind that everything that is happening around me is something worth keeping because there will be a time that you’ll realize that… oh yeah, that thing is that thing I’ve been trying to know why and here is it, taaa daaa. There might be a lot of no answer from the Man up there, but hey, definitely He got more than good reasons why that is happening to us. Patience is just a key to it.

There is always someone better than you. When I was in high school, I felt like I’m a dominant above all my classmates because I kind of like “advance” to them like with the techs I have and the things that I’ve already experienced and things like that buuut but… when I turned college gawhd. I’ve come to realize that I am no better than other people. I’m just like them. I felt like I just came out of my mother’s womb again and I don’t know anything. I am completely blank, just like what I said in my intro, I got culture shock on the very first day of college. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll not work hard for anything you want. Victories are earned and not by just luck.

You are not alone. And if you ever feel that girl, kneel down and look above. We people are not meant to go about this life alone. We are not alone. There are social media… phone calls. Make use of it to contact relatives or even old friends. We need not to do everything all by ourselves and there are still people willing to help you. Go grab them, appreciate them.

God is everything. And it said it all.

Thank you, Lord! For more lovely and fruitful years!

Photo from: xxx

#personal #random

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miss-m-and-her-blog · 7 years

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Mr. Perfect (Chapter 17: Last)

TITLE OF STORY: Mr. Perfect CHAPTER: 17 AUTHOR: hiddlestoner-and-cumberbabe WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: AU Gigolo!Tom GENRE: Romance, Fluff, Drama FIC SUMMARY: Mr. Tom Hiddleston is an international gigolo and renowned playboy that has sent London women’s hearts aflutter, and also all the women around the world. He’s charming, sexy , tall, smart, sophisticated and extremely handsome. But with his new client, Julie Rose Trillo, his life will change forever. RATING: T WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: There are some British swear words and also curse words, so beware though hehe :P FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Finally, I finished it! :D Once more, thank you for @thfrustration for letting this multi-chapter fanfic be posted in their blog; it means so much for me, honestly ^_^ Thank you so much, guys, and because of that, here’s a little list of those fellow Hiddlestoner/Tumblr users that gave Mr. Perfect some loving uhuh ;)

Tom is determined that he will see J.R. at the job fair. But will destiny permit him so? While J.R., will she ever let her heart decide this time of her happiness?

----

Tom turned around to where Ajay, Ajay’s mother, Mrs. Adita Ranjit, and Bailey sat in the couch as he presented himself on a navy-blue suit, partnered with a black tie and a baby blue shirt.

“So, how do I look? Comments?” He giddily asked, and then he pointed at Ajay,

“You look like you’re going with a client.” He playfully quipped and Bailey and his mother lightly slapped his shoulder for that remark.

“No, Tom, you look great. Very professional.” Ajay’s mother, Adita, gave him relief with her words.

“And smashing, too, I’d say.” Bailey commented last.

Tom sighed and then came to them to give them all kisses in the cheek to thank them. Ajay tried to refuse his kiss on the cheek but ended up with both of his cheeks kissed by Tom.

“Man! Come on!” Ajay wiped his cheek with the back of his hand.

“Thanks so much! Well, wish me luck. I hope that J.R. notices me there.” He sighed while he is pinning his cuff links.

“Come here, Tom, and I will tell you something.” Adita motioned to him to come closer. Tom got down on his knee and listened intently,

“You want to get the girl? You have to work for it. Tell her how much you feel. You know us women; the truth is always the best.” And she pinched his cheeks that left a smile on his lips.

“Thanks, Auntie.” Tom replied sweetly.

“Uhm, Tom, it’s 8am. The job fair starts at 9am.” Ajay reminded him, while tapping his wrist watch.

“Oh, blast! I have to go! Bye, guys! When I come back, I won’t be single anymore!” Tom, along with his sleek body bag, shouted out as he ran out of the room and out of their flat.

Everything felt so beautiful and majestic to Tom. The sun was just shinning right, the blue skies looked so bright, and the air felt like magic was floating all over. He couldn’t think of any negative thoughts, or even bad scenarios; all that he could think about is J.R.

What she might be wearing today, is she doing well while hosting the event? Is she okay? Those were the questions that are running up and down his mind while he waited for a taxi on the street.

He immediately got one and there, he is happily on his way to Renovis.

“Where to?” The driver asked Tom.

“Regent Street, the Renovis building.” Tom enthusiastically replied as he settled at the back seat. The driver did not said anything back and only chewed on the gum on his mouth.

Tom was about to sit properly when the car took off so quick, that he almost fell out of his seat. Tom tried to keep himself on his seat as the reckless driver sped their way on the road.

Then he noticed that the driver was wearing headphones on both ears, and that he could almost hear the banging music that was blaring off of the pieces.

Tom could only grunt in disgust, but he was pulled over to the left when the driver turned on a corner.

"Now I know how my clothes feel when they're in the wash." Tom muttered through gritted teeth.

The driver kept on turning hard on every corner and almost brushing the car's hood onto the next car's bumper, that sent Tom's heart hanging in the edge.

He did kept a tight grip on a handle near the windows, but that didn't stopped the inertia, pulling and pushing him from his seat. Suddenly, Tom realized that they are about to cross an intersection, and the driver couldn't resist but to beat the red light.

"NO! You tosser! You'll get us both killed!!!" Tom screamed out at the back, but the driver didn't heard a thing from him.

Tom held his breath and closed his eyes, also praying that they might cross the intersection safely.

And just like all of the angels in heaven heard him, they got safely across but the hell-for-leather ride kept on. The Renovis building was almost at the far side of his view and maybe a few blocks away, but he could only wish to arrive safely at the job fair.

And to see J.R. once again, perhaps.

But, his train of thought was derailed when the car stopped with a violent force that slammed him into the window behind the driver.

"What the actual fuck?!" He screamed out as he tried to see what happened, and there, their vehicle crashed onto another taxi, that placed a large bent on the car's hood.

The driver removed his seat belt and he went outside and argued terribly with the other driver whom he crashed his car on. The other driver then now grabbed the reckless man by the collar and there was a fist fight that was about to ensue.

Tom had no time to for this as his wristwatch had just ticked a quarter to 9 o’clock.

He went out of the taxi and he can clearly hear the screamed argument better when he heard the taxi driver shout out to him,

“Oi! You haven’t paid your fare yet!” His eyes glared at Tom.

Tom, who already had his back turned, faced the man, and held out his middle finger at him.

“I ain’t paying for nothing.” He spatted at him, then he ran at the opposite street to use his Uber app, even though he had already used his free rides and that he may have to use his own money to pay now.

Why couldn’t have you done this earlier, stupid? He thought to himself.

Tom only waited for five minutes for the his ride to arrive, and as soon as she got into the car and sat shotgun, he blared,

“Regent Street, mate, Renovis building, and step on it please!”

The driver looked shock and almost nervous, but then Tom sighed and slumped back on his seat.

“I’m sorry, I was just having a bad day; see that taxi that crashed on to another car, I was his passenger. And I’m very late for a job fair.” He apologized calmly and the driver had a hint of smile at the corner of his lips.

“Everyone’s dying to get at that bloody job fair, though, I understand.”

“Thank you. You say everyone?” Tom asked, curious.

“I’ve had two passengers earlier who was also going to Renovis this morning. How about you, you up for a job there?” Then their vehicle turned to a shortcut.

“Yes-- well, no. I’m going to see someone there.” Tom then brushed the back of his head with his hand.

“Who? Girlfriend?” The driver asked.

Tom almost laughed but tried to contain it that it turned to giggles. He felt like everything today is topsy-turvy, not anymore magical just like earlier. Maybe destiny is telling him not to go for J.R., but as far as he knows, it’s what his heart is shouting at him.

“Maybe. If ever she would let me be his boyfriend. It still depends.” Tom sighed now.

Then, right at the corner, he could see the Renovis building, tall and proud. Tom breathed in deeply, it was time to go and meet his fate.

----

J.R. saw her reflection from a glass door that she passed by. She wore a stunning blue dress; the top was adorned with sewn aqua-blue thread on baby blue sheer fabric. While the collar of her dress was a simple wing collar, while the skirt that reached above her knees were styled as billowing pleats. She didn't wore her hair in a bun but down, that flattered her whole outfit. J.R. was like a princess that whenever someone would see her, they would greet her with a slight bow.

She was headed on to Martin's office, to remind him that the event is about to begin. When she finally reached the door, she gave a knock and Martin called out for her to come in. She found her brother sitting over his desk, his laptop still open.

Still can't let go of work. She quietly thought with a smile.

"Kuya! It’s time.” She sang at him when she reached his table.

"Of course, J.R.. I was just looking at some photos here that Victor sent from Morocco." He pointed at his laptop monitor.

"Really? Let me see!" J.R. hopped beside him and looked on to the screen. J.R. saw the photos, they were taken at a wedding reception; Mason and Aicha's wedding.

"Aww, that's so sweet. I'm happy that Mr. Mason got to spend his leave that way." J.R. sighed.

"I'm glad that Victor had finally moved on to a new chapter in his life." Martin agreed.

He went on to the next photo and they saw a group photo of Mason, Aicha, Salima, Henri and even McCord who came with him to Morocco.

"Dom! He's there too?" J.R. pointed out.

"He also took his leave, and I had news from Ms. Van Vorst that McCord left Morocco with her cousin on a trip to Paris." Martin raised an eyebrow, and J.R. already got what he meant.

“Those cheeky bastards. Probably having the best Parisian holiday ever.” J.R. quipped, but then they both gave out a laugh at it.

Martin then placed a hand on J.R.’s, “I’ve something to tell you first, take a seat.”

She sat in front of his desk and listened very well. Then, Martin took out a folder from his drawers and showed it to J.R..

“I have asked Alex for an endorsement deal with us. She agreed and that she is taking off from her semi-retirement as a photographer. She also told me that she will be coming back as a model, and that the producers from Asia’s Next Top Model has offered her to be the show host.” after a while, he opened the folder and J.R. saw photos of Alex that are part of her portfolio.

There were three or more photos, and all of them declared how good of a supermodel is Alex.

Suddenly, Martin showed the last picture and there, J.R. gasped and paused for a while.

It was a picture from their photo shoot with Alex; when she was still with Tom. She could remember it clearly as day, the pose where they both sat over a window; Tom embracing her from behind, as if they were star-crossed lovers staring lovingly outside the window.

“Oh, how did this get here?” Martin asked then he studied the photo, while not noticing that J.R. just went quiet as the dead.

“Tom might have been an escort, but he sure looks like a model too.” Martin wondered then his gaze drifted towards J.R.

“Are you okay, J.R.?” He asked, but she only nodded in response.

“Are you thinking about him?”

Then J.R. looked up and met her brother’s gaze, “No. Why would I?” she tried to pretend that the photo didn’t had any effect on her.

Martin sighed and placed down the picture. He gently tapped the table with his index finger then he started,

“I know you think about him, Julie. Especially after the day he returned my payment for his services.”

J.R. stared out into the windows, as if trying to fight an urge to say something.

“I know too that he loves you. I saw it in his eyes whenever he was with you. But I feared his presence might just remind you of Nathan. He only looked like Nathan, but he is another person and he can’t be compared to him.”

Now, J.R. faced Martin and said, “What are you trying to say, Kuya?”

“That he doesn’t only loves you; you love him also, am I right?”

The question felt like an arrow that pierced J.R.’s chest. Can her brother be right with what he is talking about?

“No, I--” J.R. spoke but Martin followed up,

“I’m not even mad, J.R., if you love Tom. I want you to be happy, that’s all I want to say. And that’s what you should do; find him and you will find your happiness.”

J.R. let out a deep exasperated sigh. “If only it’s too easy to do, Kuya, I would’ve done it by now.”

Martin chuckled, then he stood up with the help of his cane. “Who knows, you might see him today.”

He walked towards her and she stood up, they were ready to go out.

She took his arm then said, “Be careful what you wish for, Kuya.” J.R. sassed.

-----

The minute Tom arrived in Renovis, he already saw the long queue that leads to the Job Fair inside. One needed to get in line just to get a visitor’s pass and booth ticket.

“Damn!” He cursed as he saw that the queue leads down almost into the business plaza of Renovis; where there are a lot of cafés and small stalls of ice cream parlors and also restaurants.

Before he went into the line, he saw a small light show and music inside the convention center and that caught his attention. He walked into the entrance of the convention center but he was stopped by the security guards wearing prestigious suits that somehow made him look like he a peasant.

“Sir, do you have a visitor’s pass and booth ticket?” One of the guards that looked as mean as Mason stopped him from going in.

“Uhm, not yet. Can’t I go inside already?” Tom demanded like a child.

“No, Sir. You have to get on the queue first, then when you have a visitor’s pass and booth ticket, only then you can go inside.”

Tom wasn’t paying attention to what the guard was saying because suddenly, the program has started. An emcee had already introduced J.R. and Tom craned his neck just to get a look at her.

But he was being kept pushed out by the guard that for a moment he lost his balance and fell on his bottom. The guard then ignored him this time, but Tom tried to peer into the glass door to see J.R..

J.R. stood up and went into the podium to speak. Tom felt breathless because even from a distance, he could feel the anticipation of seeing her again.

And not only that, J.R. took his breath away with her look today. If he could only eat his heart out right away, Tom has done it already.

J.R. then started speaking, “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. First off, I want to introduce myself; My name is Julie Rose Bellegardé-Trillo, I am Sir Martin McLeod’s half sister. For those who have worked here for the past three years, they would recognize me for being Renovis’ endorser back in 2014.

“I have been in a long absence for three years; the reason why is that I got into a car accident and was comatosed for two years. I became an amnesiac for a year. But anyway, enough of that; I’m not here to talk about my past, because I’m here to talk about not only my future, but our future.”

Tom could only hear the muffled speaker that was inside the building but he fixed his gaze towards J.R. who is almost a hall away from him.

“As the new Renovis’ HR Department Head, it is my duty to ensure that the standards of hiring employees here in our company, will not just remain as the same, but to also improve. The quality of people hired will dictate the future of our corporation. But why a job fair, if you may ask; it is also for the future of our goodwill with our partners.

“The HR Department of Renovis can only hope that this event may not just help our companies, but also people who are deserving of a better professional career. Once again, good morning to all of you, and let the fair begin.”

Her speech was met with applause and there, J.R. sat back with Martin as the emcee announced other parts of the programme.

Tom stood back from the glass and the guard was still looking at him, he pointed at the queue and Tom inhaled sharply as he had no choice but to fall in line.

“Alright, alright.” Tom grumbled as he started to go over the plaza where the end of the queue is.

As soon as he got in line, he felt like something is really stopping him from even getting close to J.R..

Why is that now I wanted to be with J.R., everything seems just not to fall in place? He thought with contempt.

He crossed his arms and hoped that he won’t have to wait for long while on this queue. And this time, destiny seems to be cutting him some slack as the queue was moving quick.

Yes! Some good sign for the day! Tom rejoiced.

While on the queue, he noticed that there are somethings that have changed with J.R.. He thought that maybe J.R. is just like that because she is herself again. Her childish side is no longer noticeable now that she’s regained her memories.

He wonders, will she even acknowledge him when they see each other? Besides, she was the one who told him to stay away.

Heck, would I even get to talk to her amidst this big crowd? In between this ocean of people wedge between the two of us? Tom pondered

As he was enveloped with his thoughts, he didn’t noticed that he was almost near the booth for the ID and ticket.

Tom is now confused whether destiny is with him or not.

After a few more minutes of falling in line, he finally received his visitor’s pass and booth ticket, to which it directed him to his first booth, and incredibly, the Renovis booth. He felt his legs move into a sprint as he wanted to get there as soon as possible.

Not caring if he bumped into somebody while running towards the glass doors of the convention center, Tom got there in a minute and the guard who stopped him earlier made him pass when he saw his ID and ticket.

Tom entered the main hall and he tried to look for the directions that leads to the Renovis booth.

Inside his mind eye, he wished that he would see her there, as an interviewer, perhaps. And maybe, just maybe, she might notice him.

Tom rehearsed it in his mind on how will he act when he finally sees J.R.. Would he smile at her? Say Hi? Or maybe go on ahead and ask if he could talk to her in private.

No, you twit, that is just insane! He scolded at himself, but then when he lifted his head, he was already at the Renovis booth and once again, there is a line that he needed to get on.

Tom, already feeling stupid and tired, still got on the line and waited for his turn to be interviewed and to have his resumé submitted.

His patience was almost waning, but Tom kept his cool, because there were thousands of scenarios that are still optional, but all of those were running up and down his mind as he devised how will he get to meet J.R. in person.

For him, it was like trying to get an autograph from his favorite actress. He blew out a raspberry as he stood in line.

Then out of the blue, a short man with balding red hair gave Tom a nudge at the back.

“Hey, you nitwit, I was there first. Why did you took my slot?”

His voice almost sounded like Bugs Bunny’s that when Tom looked back, he tried to hold a giggle.

“You think I’m talking funny at ye, eh boy?” He then threatened Tom, but he was almost a few feet shorter than him that if Tom held his balding head, he won’t be able to land a punch on his body.

“I’m sorry sir, but I got here first. I’ve been in this queue for five minutes now.” Tom explained.

“You can’t fool me! I just went over to the loo and there, you’ve taken my place!” He now screamed at Tom that made other people look over at them.

“Please, sir, I was here first.” Tom now tried to stop his lips from stretching into a smile as the balding man looked like an angry Pokémon.

To no avail, Tom finally snickered, and there, the man grabbed him by the collar and pulled his shoulders down.

“Why you--!” The man shouted but then, they heard a security guard shout at them to break the tension between the two.

Because Tom was pulled down to the balding man’s level, he had to look up to see the people standing in front of them.

His eyes popped and his jaw dropped when he finally saw her there, standing with her arms crossed in her chest, and her eyes narrowed. But still, she looked lovelier than ever to him.

“What is this, sir, what is the squabble all about? What did this man do to you?” J.R. spoke with such authority that Tom couldn’t believe his own ears that it is J.R..

“He took my slot here in the line! He’s a one cheating arsehole and a git, for all I know.” The balding man yammered on.

But J.R. only rolled her eyes, and to end this situation, she ordered, “You can take your place now, sir. But you-- come here.” She pointed out at Tom.

Her lady boss tone was somehow scaring Tom, but he didn’t cared, that lady boss is the woman of his dreams.

“Yes, Ms. Trillo?” Tom playfully replied when he was now face to face with her.

“I will have to talk to you, personally.” Then she turned to the blonde woman with glasses on her right, “Natalie, have Mr. Hiddleston escorted to my office. I will be waiting there.”

Other applicants heard J.R. and whispered among themselves while looking at Tom.

J.R. only turned her back on Tom, but he felt like he had just been sprinkled on with fairy dust that he felt like he can fly.

She disappeared among the crowd, but Natalie now caught his attention,

“This way now, follow me.” She instructed him and Tom was led to the next building, the main building itself. He was made to surrender his visitor’s pass and booth ticket for another visitor’s pass for the main building.

Natalie escorted him to the elevators to which they got up to the 19th floor; the floor that mainly belongs to HR.

Tom could feel his heart already on his throat, ready to jump out and dance about when they arrived at the 19th floor.

He wondered, whatever J.R. wanted to talk to him about. Once again, he tried to imagine what would happen once he is in J.R.’s office. Humorously, his mind went in to naughty places where J.R. might seduce him and have her way on him above her desk.

Tom had to suppress a smile and shooed the dirty thoughts away,

No brain, please, not those kind of thoughts. Tom thought.

He was led into an office with cubicles ranging from corner to corner, there, Natalie said, “Welcome to Renovis’ Human Resources Department.”

Natalie walked beyond him and Tom only followed her into the labyrinth-like office that he swore they took one or more turns that lead them nowhere J.R.’s office.

He once thought that she may only be misguiding him, but once they took the last turn, Tom saw the door to J.R.’s office.

“You can go in; wait for Ms. Trillo inside.” Natalie instructed, then Tom went in.

The interior of J.R.’s office felt like a museum for everything that represents beauty; Tom sighed at the sight of the white marble floors, the cream-colored couches and seats, and also, her wide desk made out of glass.

Behind her desk were the bookshelves and stands where framed photographs sat quietly but were very much noticeable from afar.

He approached the stand carefully and saw for the first time a photograph of Cassandra and Robert. J.R. looked exactly like the mixture of those two good-looking people; then his attention went to the other framed picture, it is a photograph of a young Martin, no older than 20, and a 12 year old J.R..

Martin was leaning on his cane while J.R. held his arm and they were both laughing when the picture was taken.

Out of all those pictures, he tried to look for at least one photograph of Nathan; but there was none. Suddenly he wondered why J.R. would not have a picture of him.

Before he could think more about that thought, J.R. entered the room and she saw him standing over the photos. This seemed not to have caught his attention, and so, J.R. cleared her throat and,

“Mr. Hiddleston, please, if you are done ogling at my family; you can sit now.” And she pointed out the seat in front of her desk that very much looked like he was going to be interviewed for a job.

Tom tried to act formal as he quietly sat in front of her desk. J.R. took her seat after a while, then, her eyes darted towards him that made him feel a little bit terrified.

He only stared back for a minute when J.R. raised an eyebrow, “Are we just going to stare at each other or are you going to hand me your CV?”

His senses were alarmed and he clumsily fished out the transparent folder that contained his CV. After handing it out to J.R., she quickly flipped it over and read the part of his job experience.

J.R. was only quiet as she read on, but Tom craned his head up to see which part she was reading.

Without looking up at him, she said, “So, the last work you had was in a modelling agency? Then you graduated from London Metropolitan University with a degree in Psychology-- but you haven’t worked for any other company after that. Why is that?”

There, both of their eyes met; she was studying him, but Tom could only stare back at her. He knows to himself that he have missed her terribly. If only he could say it to her out loud, but the way she acted made him feel queasy.

“I-- I became an escort after the modelling agency.” Tom told it simply as that.

“And besides that, you had no other professional work whatsoever?” J.R. inquired.

“No. Just that.”

J.R. then shifted on her seat and sighed. She couldn’t keep on the charade, she knew that she had to ask him the question she really wanted to ask him.

“Why are you here, Tom?” J.R. then placed down his CV and her pen on the desk.

Tom now shifted in his seat and answered as earnest as he can, “To apply for a job. There’s a job fair today, ain’t it?”

She waved her hands off and said, “Don’t get smart with me, please, why are you really here? No-- Let me ask you the real question; why did you returned the payment my Kuya gave you?”

He could feel her confusion underneath the strict facade, but he just doesn’t get why she needed to know that.

“Because I didn’t needed the money. I did the job he offered me, because I wanted to do it not for the financial part. I realized that after everything.”

J.R.’s brows furrowed, then she got up from her chair and stood closer to Tom.

“Seriously? What do you think you are doing when you took the job? Charity? Out of your kind heart, you just did it?”

“I wasn’t worthy of that payment. I never was.” Tom sighed.

“Could you just tell me the truth why you did it? Was that a stunt or something?” J.R. couldn’t help it but her the tone of her voice became higher. She just wanted to know the truth; or maybe, she was afraid of knowing the truth from him.

He looked up to her, with his baby-blue eyes looked like it was begging for her, “Not because of that--”

But she spoke out, “What then?”

“Because I love you!” Tom let it slip out, and that made him rouse from his seat.

J.R. had to hold on to the desk behind her when she heard those words from him, but he kept on,

“Why are you doubting me? Like you are saying that it’s impossible for me to love you? I gave back the money because I didn’t wanted it to be like you were just some common client to me. And you were never a client to me, J.R., you were something else and more.”

The passion laced within his words felt like it had reached out for J.R., that she now tried to suppress herself from embracing him.

This can’t be. He couldn’t be this honest. It’s impossible. She thought.

Tom then went for his bag and tried to dig out a medium-sized journal. When he got it out, he handed it to her but J.R. hesitated from getting it from him.

“This is a journal I wrote while we were traveling together. I wrote everything I can write, every entry was about you and even when I’m with you. If you still doubt me, even though I have worked my way through this job fair just to see you again; read it. You’ll know that I’m not lying, I do really love you, but I doubted myself because you’re way out of my league.

“What could I do at that time, J.R.? I’m just a gigolo; an escort. You were everything I ever wanted and I was just nothing.”

J.R. finally reached out for it and took it from his hands. Her eyes felt like watering but she tried to stop herself from crying.

Tom felt his heart had broken into two; he never knew that J.R. could say those things to him. Somehow he wishes, they were back to the time they first met, when everything were just simpler.

“I think I’m not up to work here or be interviewed by you. I’ve already been judged. But if you wanted to know how I really feel for you, until now-- read my journal.”

He left the room and closed the door loud and quickly.

J.R. could only her heart drum out loudly, and she felt the leather of the journal on her fingertips.

Maybe he is right. Maybe it is love. But what about I feel? She pondered.

She took a deep breath and opened the journal. The pages opened to the night that they stargazed under the Moroccan skies; how Tom withheld himself from kissing her, but wrote down how much he wanted to.

Then, she flipped it at the beginning, there she saw a list that Tom had checked already, but one was left unchecked.

It said;

1. Make the trip to Palawan

2. Then to Paris

3. Lastly, to Morocco

4. Go to the ‘Pink House’

5. Tell J.R. I love her then...

From #1 to #4, they were all checked; but #5 was not yet done.

J.R. felt something deep within her, like something had awakened in her. She felt brave and touched, and that she knew she had to be, if she doesn’t want to lose Tom.

Out of a sudden, she hastily placed down the journal on her desk and felt her feet step up into a sprint as she opened her door.

J.R. looked left and right to see if Tom was still there, but he was gone already.

Her breath quickened as she felt the panic stab her in the chest. Her feet still continued running over the corridor and into the maze of cubicles.

If anybody saw her, they might just think that their boss is running wild and crazy all over the office.

But, Tom was nowhere to be found and she had asked a few people if ever they saw a tall and handsome man pass by. The only answer she got was a no, and it only made her panic more.

No, Tom. You can’t go just like that. I need to be with you, and you need to be mine. J.R.’s mind only repeated those words over and over again.

Little did she know, Tom is standing and waiting for the elevator lift to pass by the 19th floor. But every time the door would open, it would be too crowded for him to get on.

And so, he stood there, with his shoulders slumped down and his hands on his pocket, while remembering the scene earlier.

Why is she doubting me? Couldn’t she see right through me? Or maybe it’s just that I never stood a chance from the beginning?

This made Tom sigh with grief. He could already hear their sympathies and see the look of pitying in their faces when he gets home.

He shook his head, trying to dismiss those thoughts. It was no use for him anymore; he tried and there he knew that some things are just impossible.

The elevator door opened but it was crammed with too much people going up. Tom cringe at the elevator attendant; he was not going inside and he is not going to jam himself in that elevator, just like he is not going to stick himself in to J.R.’s life because she had evidently made it clear that she doesn’t want him in her life.

Tom tried to smile, “No thanks, I’ll take the stairs.”

And there he left the spot he had kept for minutes and he started going down the stairs.

After a while, J.R., running as fast as she can while wearing heels, reached the elevator doors. She immediately pressed the down button, but the elevator lift is still at the 25th floor and was slowly making its way down to the 19th.

“Come on, come on. I need to get down!” She impatiently muttered as she watched the LED screen of the floor indicator.

The elevator doors opened and a mechanical ding went up; but when the doors opened, it was full of event organizers or assistants that are busy for the event at the convention center.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, the lift is full.” The attendant told her, but it was not the time for her to be moving slow, and so,

“No! All of you out, I have to go down; it’s official business!” were the only thing she could say but she saw all of them had a look of surprise and shock.

The people inside went out, one by one; her alibi worked and now they are quickly going down to the ground floor.

As she impatiently watched the numbers on the screen, she could already imagine Tom, leaving the premises; taking a taxi back home.

She might just look for his home address and talk to him then, but she could not let him go today without telling him what she really feels for him. And that she also need to apologize for everything hurtful that she may have told him.

When she reached the ground floor, she went to the security station and informed the guards to look out for a man named Tom Hiddleston and not let him leave Renovis.

Tom, where are you? J.R. worriedly thought as her eyes searched everywhere.

Meanwhile, Tom wound up at the business plaza and saw a gelato store.

A little sweetness wouldn’t be that bad, when all I’ve got from her is bitterness. He thought to himself and there he snickered. Maybe he is just comforting himself.

He went in and saw that the place had only two or three customers who ate their gelato at their tables.

Tom chose the chocolate truffle flavor on the biggest cup to which he chose to eat it outside. He found a lonely spot near the veranda, a few steps of stairs where he can sit.

“Ma’am, we couldn’t find Mr. Hiddleston, He’s not here in the building.” a security personnel, Handel, informed J.R..

“Did anyone looked near the convention center or the business plaza?” J.R. asked him then he paused,

“No, Ma’am. Not yet.” He replied sternly.

“Well then, we’ll look for him there.” J.R. demanded, but Handel asked her,

“We, Ma’am?”

J.R. eyed him, “I’ll come with you to look for Mr. HIddleston. It’s your top priority to find him, and also mine’s.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Handel cooperatively answered.

They started making their way into the convention center, but J.R. decided to split up and she will lead a team to look for Tom at the business plaza.

It was already high noon, and the summer sun is bright and shinning over J.R., whom had a few bullets of sweat on her forehead.

Her dress was beginning to be itchy because she had walked over a few yards from the main building to the business plaza. Her feet are now aching and her knees felt wobbly. But she didn’t cared, the only thing she needed to do is to find Tom, and she doesn’t care anymore if she could get blisters on her feet.

When they arrived at the business plaza, she instructed the team of security personnel to split up once more, and that she would do her own searching.

J.R. found the dining stalls and stores, she searched how and low for Tom; whether he might be sitting alone on one of the restaurants or maybe standing next to the gelato store.

She felt desperate, and she wanted to scold herself for letting Tom go when he’s already there in front of her.

J.R. had to sit for a while as she can feel the tiresome search had already gotten into her.

She saw a veranda with a few stairs to sit upon, but when she finally got near it, she saw a man sitting there and eating a gelato, all by himself.

His blond hair and daddy-long-legs was just enough for J.R. to know that it is Tom.

She had no time to waste, J.R. ran to his side and called him, “Tom!”

He was sure that the voice that had screamed for his name is J.R., and it is not the gelato or his imagination.

Tom slowly turned his head back to see who called him, and he was not wrong at all. His eyes widened as he saw her with the frantic look on her face and a little bit haggard all over.

Tom knew the best response; he turned his head around and ignored J.R. He might just play a little hard-to-get this time.

J.R. bit her lip in anguish, and there, she stood right in front of him.

“Thomas Hiddleston, I called you!” She shouted at him while her hands were on her waist.

“There’s no need to shout, Ms. Trillo! Here, you want some gelato?” Tom invitingly offered her the gelato, but J.R. had only her brows in a furrow.

“Are you kidding me?” J.R. finally replied.

“Nope, not one bit. So, what are you doing here? You thought I already left didn’t you?” Tom teased her as he took another spoonful of gelato in his mouth.

“No. I wanted to ask you something-- that checklist in your journal... What did you wanted to do after telling me that you love me?”

Tom smiled mischievously and there, he stood up, now leveling with her gaze.

“That’s my secret. Why would I tell you that?” He then pouted at her, and he knew that she couldn’t keep another minute in a straight composure because of his teasing.

“Besides, there’s no reason anymore to let you know what I wanted to do so I could check that out of the list.” Tom scooped a big portion of the gelato and tried once again to offer it to J.R., “You sure you don’t want some? It’s good, it’s chocolate truffle.”

J.R. could only purse her lips and side-eye him, but Tom extended his hand that holds the spoon so she could reach for the gelato.

She shrugged off the pressure and then she ate the gelato on the spoon. The sweetness of the gelato and the dryness of her throat didn’t agreed to each other that she gave out a loud cough. Tom patted her shoulder and settled the cup down

When she swallowed down the sweetness, she started talking, “Tom, I want to say sorry. I really am sorry for I have said to you earlier. I want to apologize for ever doubting you... I don’t know why I doubted you; maybe it’s just that I was afraid-- I don’t know with what, but I was just scared.”

Tom loosened the teasing face and his eyes softened. She was looking through his soul, and he knew he had to listen for what she has to say.

“I was scared that I might lose you if I let you in. As you can see, it’s a tragic truth that some of the people I love are not here anymore.”

J.R. looked away and a tear-drop fell from her eye, but she continued, “But, that’s not really the point that I’m trying to get to-- What I’m trying to say is that I want to move on now, and Nathan told me so. You may not be Nathan, but you’re very much different from him--and now, I want to know you this time.

“Can you help me with that, Tom?” J.R. smiled at him.

Tom felt his chest heave and his lip tremble. Maybe, some things are not that too late, or too soon.

“I will help you with anything, Julie Rose, anything. I’ll even lend a hand so you could find your way into my arms.” He endearingly replied.

There, Tom reached for J.R.’s hand and placed over his heart; he also had tears in his eyes by that time, tears of wonderful joy.

J.R. sniffled as she took a step closer to him. Tom then placed a hand on her waist, pulling her into his body.

“Would you like to know what I would do after I tell you that I love you?” Tom’s mellifluous tone melted her right there and then, but she managed to say,

“What? What are you going to do?” J.R. looked up to him, her face just a few inches away from his.

“I will tell you that I love you, then, I will kiss you.”

J.R.’s lips stretched out into a wide smile, “It’s about damn time you check that out from your list, then.”

She closed her eyes and leaned up to meet his lips.

J.R. couldn't be more sure than this, and it is no brainer that she wants to be with Tom, and so does he.

For the very first time, Tom kissed J.R., and he swore that he could feel the butterflies in his stomach flutter stronger than before, that the fireworks in his mind-eye had just went off and everything felt so much brighter than ever.

When Tom let J.R. go for a while, she added, “Wait, you haven’t told me directly that you love me.”

“Nah, I do more than I say, baby.” Tom sweetly teased and there, J.R. giggled.

But for the second time around, she pulled him to a longer kiss.

For Tom and J.R., it was definitely a wild roller coaster ride of fake brain diseases, malevolent nurses, and terrifying cliff-sides.

Though, they could say, the road still smooths out in the end. And it isn’t just one smooth way, it was the sweetest; the greatest, and the most self-discovering end.

There is no looking back for Tom, no fear for J.R.; just loving each other is what they could only know.

It didn’t mattered whoever they are in the past; what they value the most is who they will be in the present and the future, and that is together.

END.

#tom hiddleston #my fanfics #fanfics #fanfiction #hiddlestoner #Arci Muñoz #arci muñoz as J.R.#thfrustration

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jedidiahtomasramos-blog · 7 years

Text

HOPE

“Thanks dad.” I said. “Okay sweetie. Take care, okay?” dad replied. I just nodded and smiled. I waved my hand to my dad before he left. I’m Allianna Ginsey and I transferred here in Hope University in Canada, I’m half Korean and half Filipino. I was walking and I’m currently looking if where’s my dorm, they already gave me my dorm number a week ago. I’m here at the second floor. Hmmmm, all I can hear in here was the voice of boys. How can it b— “Hey! What are you doing here? Did you know that this floor is only for men?” I heard a manly voice and when I looked at him I was shocked! Omy. He’s only wearing a white sando and a BOXER?! I can feel the heat on my face. “Uh.. I was looking.. uhmm for my room.. and I don’t know that it’s men’s floor. Bye!” I utterly replied and immediately leave the floor. I heard him shouting but I don’t understand the words because he was already too far. It’s really embarrassing. “Excuse me?” I heard a voice from behind. “Yes?” I asked. “Are you the one in this room?” she’s pointing the room near at the veranda. I didn’t notice I was already here in the third foor. I looked at my room number and she’s right, I just nodded and smiled. I was wondering why she knew my room then she said that she looked at my hand and saw the paper. She’s Ashley Valezca and luckily she’s my dorm mate. A day had passed; we are already started in our class. As expected each of us will going to introduce again. While someone was introducing, I saw a tall guy entered the room in my peripheral vision. “Mr. Garrison! It’s your first day in your class and as usual you’re late again!” our professor angrily said. “Important matter sir, sorry.” He calmly said, he’s at my back. His voice was familiar and when I looked at my back, my small eyes turned into big. He did too but he immediately smirked. He’s the one I’ve encountered in the second floor. What a small world. It’s already break time and I’m walking alone to buy some foods in the cafeteria. I feel awkward because of my co-students are looking and smiling on me as if I’m old here. “Weird.” I murmured to myself. Ashley was absent because she visited her mother in the hospital earlier. “ALLIANNA!” he shouted. “WHAT TREX?” I shouted back. By the way, he’s the one on the meN’s dorm and it’s already months passed but it’s still fresh on my mind. “I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU’RE UGLY WHEN YOU’RE NOT SMILING.” He shouted back. Arrrrgh! He’s always teasing me. I hate it. Luckily, it’s already weekend. It’s good, I will not see his face again. It’s already months but I’m still confused on people here. “Allianna, I will just visit my mom okay?” Ashley said “Okay. Take care.” I answered and hug her. Ashley will go to Korea to see her mother who’s fighting in her heart condition. So I’m here alone thinking on a happy thoughts and after that I decided to walk outside this University. Yes, I will date myself. “ATE KYLA!” I heard a small voice who’s shouting. I looked at her, on my left side, right side and on my back. ‘Who is she calling?’ I asked to myself. “ATE KYLAAAA.” Again, she shouted a name, I looked at her again and asked if I’m the one who’s she talking about. She nodded and run towards me. She’s embracing me right now and I don’t know why she’s doing that. Why she’s calling me Ate Kyla all of a sudden? What’s happening? “Who’s Kyla?” I asked her but before she could speak we heard a voice shouting. “KAYELIN!” a man’s voice interrupt us. This kid wave her hand to the guy. I looked at him, he’s tall and white. His eyes was so beautiful that you can’t get it off on it. But he’s not looking at me. I can see in his eyes that he’s so worried. “Where on this earth did you go? Kuya was looking for you.” he worriedly said. “Sorry kuya. I saw ate Kaye, that’s why..” she answered. The guy look at me and she said again a name and that’s Kyla.. It’s December and it’s cold. We have a new classmate and that’s Drake, he’s not new anyway. According to Trex, he’s an old student here. I know Drake now, he’s always there for me, he’s always following me, he’s always giving me white flowers. Until one day, I always wanted to see and feel his presence. This strange feeling is so strong, I don’t know why. But month passed, Drake was changed. He couldn’t even want to go near on me. I keep on asking myself what did I do. I can’t help it but to cry every time he saw me and acting like he don’t know me. 4 months later.. I was sitting near in the window when someone tapped my shoulder. “Allianna, at the rooftop.” Trex seriously said. I looked and go with him. I can sense that Drake was looking on me but I didn’t mind it. I asked Trex if what is it. We are now here in the rooftop. I can feel that he’s a little bit nervous, then he started. He asked me if I know Kyla and I said that I don’t know. I just said about what happened 4 months ago. He bitterly smiled and tell me about everything. I can feel the water running on my cheek. I burst out crying. I keep on asking him why? Instead of answering me he just hugged me and he’s tapping my back as if I’m a child. Weeks passed.. I can’t move on on what did Trex said. I’m still curious. He said that Kyla is their classmate but she had a cancer so she died in the age of 18. He also said that time that she’s my copy face. I’m now entering my room when someone hold my wrist. “Kyl-- I mean.. Allianna.” he softly said. He’s so looked like a messed. “I’m sorry..” he said then left me hanging. That was it? Seriously? I follow him, I heard him crying in their veranda, instead of anger, I decided to calm myself and I started to walk near on his place. “Why?” that’s the first thing I asked. “I’m so sorry Allianna, I’ve never thought that it’ll be going to be like this. It’s not my intention to this.” he said while sniffing. I exhaled. I’m avoiding my tears to burst out, I’m a strong woman. Yes, I am. “In the first place, I know that you’re not Kyla but I continue pretending that she’s here, she’s alive, that she’s you..” he softly said. “But one day, I just realized something…” he continued. I’m just listening. “She’s already gone. And I can’t help my feeling for you. I admit, I saw Kyla in you but when I already knew your personality, It’s way too different. The two pf you were different. And I don’t know how to say this.. But I think I’m starting to.. love you as.. Allianna not Kyla.” that was the last word that I heard before he hugged me and left. Days and months, still, Drake wasn’t here. I just smiled and go to Ashley. Hays, he said he love me? But why he’s still avoiding? “WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND, ALLIANNA?” We saw in the rooftop of the cafeteria. I was so amazed. I saw a guy standing there. It’s Trex! What is he doing? Is he insane? But then, someone is coming behind him. It’s.. It’s.. DRAKE! We’re eating now and I’m so happy. Me and Drake are already official. Ashley is so happy in the two of us while Trex is so serious. “Stop that man, you will find another woman soon.” Drake said while smiling. “Tss.” he simply replied and just rolls his eyes. Months later.. “Drake! Stop that-- HAHAHA.” drake was smirking while he’s touching my neck. It’s my weakness. It’s already vacation and we’re dating now. Double date rather but Ashley and Trex are not yet here. “EHEM!” speaking of.. they are already here. We are going to have fun today and enjoy this day, we are going to Paris, France for our bond. 8 hours of trip and we’re already here. Omg, it’s so beautiful. This is our last bond because drake were going to study in the Philippines. Even if I don’t like him to study there, his parents want to so we have no choice. 4 years ago.. There’s no Drake, there’s no Drake that will going to visit me like he said about two years ago. I don’t have any idea about him now. His accounts in social media was all deactivated. I don’t know how to contact him because every time I will call his number, it’s busy. I miss him so much. Every night, I was crying. Ashley and Trex are so worried about me. They even tried to but there still no Drake. I saw my phone vibrating and it’s Ahley. “Sis, are you okay? I have a news. I heard that Drake is going on our reunion later. Are you going to come sis?” Ashley said on the other line. I was stopped a bit and my heart pumps like it’s used to before every time I heard his name. “Okay.” I answered and I ended the phone call. I don’t want her to worry about me. We’re now 22 years old for goodness sake. I already prepared my self for this. I know this will happen. I want to ask him what happen. I’m here in the table with Ashley and Trex. I’m wearing read simple dress and light make up. “Are you okay?” Trex asked me. I smiled and nodded. The MC were talking in the stage. My name caught my attention because she’s calling my name. I go upstairs and give my message to them. After that, I excused myself to go in the court of our university. It’s surrounded by the lights. I was walking. “Why are you here? Are you not going to the party?” I heard a familiar voice from behind. Yes, I’m not mistaken, it’s Drake. I feel so relieved and joy in my heart. “Where have you been?” I angrily asked and I can’t help myself to ran over his place and hugged him. I heard him sigh.. “Your accounts was all disabled even your phone number!” I said. “Go. Tell what you want. I’ll accept it.” he said but there’s something wrong on his tone. “I missed you..” I suddenly said and cried out. “I missed you too.. but let’s stop.” he said. “What do you mean?” I nervously asked. “I love you Allianna but dad force me to stop my communication with you because he don’t want me to stay our relationship any longer. They don’t like you.. But believe me, I had do my best to stop them but they said that they will make your life worst.” he sincerely said “Then she came.. I don’t know but I already woke up that I love her.” he slowly said. I have no words to say, I was shocked. “Dad even said that you are already going to married that’s why I leaves a message on your phone that I’m breaking up with you.” “But why--” “Drake!” I saw a lady walking towards our place and move her hand around Drake’s hand. My both hands were automatically go to my mouth. I’m avoiding my eyes but it’s automatically burst out a cry. “Go ahead, I will be there. I’ll just talk to her.” I heard him talked to that lady. The girl smiled and kiss him on his cheek before she left. I’m still crying and I don’t know what to do. “Bye. I hope you’ll be going to be okay.” he said before he left. I saw his back going far away and as I ran out of the court. I saw a petals of flowers on the grass. I follow the pattern while I’m crying and then I saw him standing on the tree while smiling. “I love you.” I heard him as I go near into him. “I hate you.” I answered and pinch his shoulders. He explained everything, he’s so busy for our future he said and he said he promised he that will be going to marry me soon. And that girl earlier is her sister. I saw Ashley, Trex, and classmates are all there and clapping their hands. I know I easily forgive him but I love him. I will do my part to love them more than that. We smiled and we both kissed as the fireworks started. #ShortStory

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