#this mean I’m having an existential crisis

[sunnyupsidedown]

Reading AFTG at 21: Yeah that all checks out. Pretty typical things to go through at that age

Re-reading AFTG at 28: THEY’RE ALL JUST BABIES. HOW CAN THE WORLD BE SO CRUEL 😭 PROTECT THEM

#what do you mean Jean’s only 19? #HE SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB #WITH ANDREW AND COMPANY #aftg #the sunshine court #m #getting old is weird #I’m going to stop myself before I have a existential crisis in the tags

[florwal]

my birthday is tomorrow and i feel like an old hag… 24??????

#what do u mean i’m not still 17 #i always have an existential crisis on my bday #i feel old af #people my age don’t even feel old to me it’s just ME specifically #👵🏻

[prettydjarinsoloinspires]

things i didn’t have on my bingo card of life:

Taika Waititi in one of my favorite queer ships of all time.

also not on said bingo card:

Rhys Darby being in one of my favorite queer ships of all time.

#what even is life #everything is fucking made up so just do and enjoy whatever the fuck makes you happy #not to mention not only is it queer it’s fucking CANON #i’m having an existential crisis over this if you couldn’t tell #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #taika waititi #rhys darby #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

[thriftdyke]

.

#the sun went down at 4 pm and I am once again having an existential crisis #I went to a bookstore and saw stupid romance book covers and started thinking about how I’m probably gonna ‘die alone’ #whatever the fuck that means #I don’t KNOW okay I don’t know if I’m aromantic or just too traumatized and avoidant to be capable of intimacy. but I have no friends and #I’m lonely as fuck #and I don’t want to date but I want someone to be committed to me and I want someone to fuck but I don’t trust people and I #am pretty sure if I fucked someone I would burst into tears bc of how long its been since I’ve been touched #I want a family. like that is one thing I know for sure I don’t know exactly what that even means or looks like #but I want a FAMILY. and not the one I was born with #I don’t mean kids I mwan commitment and fucking. People #and the universe is not on my fucking side girl. she’s not I don’t care what you say #I thought I had a found family in college and look where that is now. dust #and I’m 25 years old #and I’m missing so many milestones #and maybe it doesn’t matter maybe dating and fucking do not give you worth yeah yeah okay #but this is not the life I thought I would have at this age. and I feel like I should be entitled to grieve that #not like I want to. I want to be normal and I want to be over it. #to be perfectly fucking honest. I wish I could wake up tomorrow #and fall in love with someone and have a boring normal happily ever after. #I wish I could be the person who’s capable of that and I know that’s a naive and childish and unwoke desire to have #but I’m just being so real with you chief. I do not know how to live in this world being who I am. #and I don’t want to fucking be alone. #not because it makes me less worthy but because I’m just fucking sick of being lonely. okay. #anyway. I’m probably deleting this #p

[caterpillarinacave]

y’all when I say I’m bordering on insanity I’m joking less then I’d like to be

#💃medication 🕺 is💃 failing 🕺 me💃 I’m 🕺 in💃incredible🕺amounts💃 of 🕺 pain💃 #But anyways. Henry and Charlotte am I right? #Wait I amend that. Henry Charlotte and the triplets. #HahahahahaImgonnacry #Nah I won’t. ✨dehydration✨ #I need like. A three week nap. #…Sorry to be annoying and offputting on main it’s my only outlet #I should do something #Is there anything to do? #Other than have an existential crisis I mean

[sweetface-the-dollbaby]

Shit is Hail Mary a meme fic???

#is it just a meme that went too far? #Do people outside my circle actually take it seriously? #do people IN my circle take it seriously? #Am I a joke? #Is Hail Mary a joke??? #I seriously don’t know anymore #Because that #that fic is pretty much my entire legacy #Is… #Is my legacy a joke? #Am I nothing more than a joke? #…do people see me as a person? #Am I just a jester to these people? #What the fuck am i #what the fuck is my legacy #Does Hail Mary even mean anything to anyone? #Do I mean anything to anyone? #fuck I’m having an existential crisis because of a human centipede fanfiction 😭

[chaoscradle]

my friend told me today that people who don’t know me think i’m mean

#ive been told i’m intimidating several times #i am 5 foot 3 inches and act absolutely insane 90% of the time #how am i. intimidating #apparently people have said they though i was mean and she said ‘oh no he just looks like that’ #my teacher once thought i was having an existential crisis or smthn cause i zoned out while listening to music #rbf ig #personal

[marshymallo]

what author is writing my life & why is it basically a coming of age book of my senior year 💀

#oh well at least this main character isn’t the typical skinny and short one #by short i mean the people writing fanfics that are ‘x reader’ but give you the dead set height of 5’0 #although gotta be honest i feel like if this was a book it wouldn’t be very exciting #i’m always having an existential crisis or doing schoolwork or freaking out over shows & movies i like #⇢ ˗ˏˋ mae says stuff ࿐ྂ

[deus-ex-mona]

a body has been discovered!

#found this in my gallery and idk where it’s from— #so i thought ‘lmao might as well share it for today’s wednesday post’ #fedora throttle4 #it is suiyoubi my dudes #but for now i’ve decided to just wait and see if my albums turn up in the proxy warehouse before contacting them… #today’s the official release date after all… s i g h s #i hope they turn up i’m q u a k i n g (ʘ‿ʘ) #though that may be from my pre-interview jitters… or my coffee jitters from the afternoon… #…man adult life is tough ain’t it? can’t believe i’m gonna age another year in 2 weeks and 1 days’ time… #it’s been forever since i left the ✨minor life✨ but i’ve accomplished absolutely nothing… #i mean i’m on tumblr making lousy fan tls and shitposts that no one cares for for a relatively small fandom lmfaoooooo #if that ain’t ✨unaccomplished✨ idk what is... oh wells lmfaoooo #why am i having an existential crisis in the tags of a shitpost at like 1am? guess it’s time for me to take my own advice and s h u t —

[cpffd]

Extremely personal rant and over sharing.

#guys I’m really sorry for ranting constantly and being only capable of posting edgy angry posts about how I hate Max’s treatment in TT #but currently I’m not feeling the greatest as an individual #actually I’m feeling a living failure #when I was in middle school I used to be an extreme dedicated ambitious and zealous person who was fighiting a lot for her dreams #but now #my existential crisis is stronger #and I just can’t try to hide my tiredness and my feel of nothing #i didn’t study anything in this year and I managed to keep an 80% in my exams but from a 100%-type-of-person it’s like #feeling like I failed at everything #and the worst thing is that #if I am RATIONALLY aware about the fact that what I achieve doesn’t have moral value #my emotions are still attached to that old version of myself and if I don’t succeed I feel like an useless piece of shit #BUT I CAN’T FIND AN INHERENT MEANING IN ALL THIS SHIT #I look at the future and I’m scared #I don’t know if I’m going to resist #sickness #death #there a lot of things that we are going to face living #but I cannot see a more deep motivation for continuing to fight #but I can’t do other way because that’s how we are programmed as humans #we are programmed for surviving #and as if it wasn’t enough I cannot perseguing my previous relationship with food anymore #but I still cannot throw away what I internalised in myself about it #eating more than my usual makes me extremely ashamed #today I asked to my dad if he wanted bread and he said to me that I could take it but then he was craving for that and I felt horrible #even if I wanted it and there wasn’t a real motivation for denying to my body it #what I’m trying to say is that I’m so sorry for being so poisonous in these posts #but Max’s character means a lot for me even because in a lot of ways we were going through the same things when I watched the show #and it’s hurt me so much because I’m desperately trying to not feeling as an idiotic loser #and because I KNOWS WHAT CONSIDER OURSELVES LOSERS MEANS

[venting-town]

Also, my maladaptive daydreaming is not “ bad “ to me. Others don’t get to decide if I have it or not JUST BECAUSE I actively enjoy laying in bed pretty much all day doing nothing OTHER than daydreaming

I’ll label what I experience how I want. Fuck if others try to invalidate or flat out tell me what I experience isn’t the “ actual thing “.

People can view their experiences/disorders/etc how they want. Oh well if you don’t agree. You don’t have to. And they don’t have to change their views/how they feel just because of you/others

#I’ve done this ever since I was 4. maybe I didn’t develop it at that exact age but I did somewhere in the range #I’ve learned to deal with/cope with it in my own way. and it makes me happy being by myself in my room ( aside from my turtle being in there #) or being in a different room pacing around for hours with music blasting. because it makes me happy and comforts me. my reality/realities/ #experiences/etc are just that. MINE. my other selves have theirs too. just because others don’t believe/etc what I experience/experienced #does not make them right. it doesn’t make me wrong. just because there’s no proof does NOT mean it’s fake/made up. and having proof doesn’t #inherently make things true/real. there’s nuances/paradoxes/exception/etc. I understand that I am in this reality. and I understand there #are others. today is 8/13/23. I’m 22 years old. blah blah blah. I can have memories of other lives/selves/etc and still accept/acknowledge #I’m ‘ here ‘. and this place is ass just like all the others. they’re all retarded but idk if my other selves believe that for them. anyways #I will think about it the ways I want. anyways. don’t police how others view their experiences/disorders/etc #you’re not them and even if you are/were/etc. they’ll decide how/if they want to view it/label it/etc #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #vent #tw vent #tw existential angst #tw existential dread #tw existential bullshit #tw existential crisis #tw alternate reality #tw simulation #tw realities #tw reality #vent 8/13/23 #tw reincarnation #tw reincarnate #tw spiritual #tw non spiritual #tw non beings #tw beings

[natugood]

How do people know what they want in life? I wake up every day with barely any idea for what I’m gonna do with myself that day, most of the time I’m too busy living in the moment to conceive of future moments impacted by big decisions

#I’ve been having an existential crisis of late cause if I stay with my partner of 8 years it means I’m likely moving to Europe #which is. a lot #makes me question everything I’m doing and my life choices but also like #when ppl ask me if that’s what I actually want to do - or even just ask me what I want - I’m like. idk. #I never know what I want until I suddenly want it and then I do it #and if it’s a big thing I try to do it until I lose momentum and get bored #like yes I’ve made big life decisions as an adult - moving out of my parents house to another state and starting grad school #hell even undergrad was kinda my own big choice #but like. I moved to Oly cause I missed my freinds and I wanted something new. I wanted to live with my partner and was sick of anchorage #I started grad school cause I knew my undergrad degree wasn’t working out and I didn’t know what else to do #I applied to grad school on a whim - I was gonna wait a year and then 1 month from the deadline was like fuck it I’ll do it now #I got my current job cause I applied to every single job with WA state that I qualified for in a frenzy between 2 and 6 am one day #like every decision I’ve made it’s cause I wanted change and I knew I needed change. #but I didn’t have a strong preference for what kind of change I wanted - I just knew what I didn’t want #then I just kept trying random shit over and over until it worked and I got what I wanted: change #but like. I don’t feel living my life by following other people and doing stuff that is passively interesting to me is really the way to go #i want to make my choices either with purpose or truly just letting life take it’s course. not this half assed kinda in control kinda not #googoogajoob

[legallypumpkinn]

Heehee hoohoo I just found something out that really made my jealousy go kaploot hoohoo haha!!

#I’m sorry I didbt mean to be this way 😭😭 #my txt #this img was my face whilst reading one of the most godawful things I have ever subjected myself to #and n e wayz it rlly calmed me down :3 #I mean it didn’t make me overal calm. moreso calmed one specific anxiety #beinf vague bc I don’t want to publicly diss the author bc realistically they did nothing wrong!! #I just rlly don’t like them for rlly petty reasons :3 #n w wayz tho this image made me lose it I think when I first watched Eva bc everyone online was saying #’watch out for episode 16!! after that it’s all angst’ #and I remmeber realizing I was on e16 when (spoiler) shinji almost died #but then my distress at his state was qujkcly replaced by humorous giggles as I saw what would be the first of many #Kubrick stares #srsly they do them SO MUCH esp in the SEELE scenes I can nevr take them entirely seriously #bc shinji is gaving an existential crisis talking to himself like #‘which me is real? the one I perceive? the one Misato thinks I am? what about Asuka and rei? how will toji react?’ #and then BOOM #forehead

[augustinewrites]

cw: jjk manga spoilers (up to 221), blood, sword fights heh + note: it's finally here, and somehow it's worse than shibuya!

“is he gonna be mad?”

“satoru?” you snort lightly, taking another bite of your frozen yogurt. “he’s just going to ask if you won. he might try to take the sequel of that new book set you got as punishment— but i’ll see what i can do.” 

across the table, megumi huffs, leaning back into the plush booth. you’d picked him up early from school today, the reason being yet another suspension. his second since he’d started the school year. you suppose that’s the reason for his sullen disposition and existential crisis. 

“am i a bad person?”

you glance up at him in acknowledgement, but take a moment before answering. he stirs the frozen yogurt around in its cup, looking rather glum.

there’s a delicate way of going about these types of things. children (especially teenagers) are complicated creatures. they’re still at their most malleable, your words and actions shaping their very future.

“i don’t think you’re a bad person, megumi,” you answer softly, setting your spoon down. 

“but i…i keep doing bad stuff,” he argues dejectedly. “and— and i was mean to tsumiki—”

“hey. no one’s born wanting to do bad things,” you tell him. “and when they do…it’s usually more complicated than we think. there are bad situations where sometimes we have to do bad things. even if we don’t want to. even if we’re not proud of them.” 

“but how do you know that i’m not?” he asks again, and your heart aches. 

“because i know you,” you smile. “i’ve known you for eight years, megumi. yeah, i think you could afford to try using your words instead of your fists once in a while, and be a little nicer to your sister…but i know everything you do comes from a good place.”

megumi doesn’t reply, staring out the window with that pensive frown of his. all you can do is wonder if you and satoru have done right by him. if you’re doing right by him now. (such is the life of a parent, you suppose.)

all you can do is hope. 

“hey,” you grin, holding your hand out to him. “promise me something?”

_____

you stumble backwards, narrowly avoiding being gutted by a sword. gasping, your fingers fumble with the hem of your shirt, the material sliced right above the small, almost imperceptible bump of your stomach. 

your megumi would never hurt you. your megumi, your sweet, gentle boy who still muttered the song about bunny ears as he tied his shoes. who always offered his sister the last bite of cake, even though you knew he wanted it for himself. who cried the first time his shikigami were injured in battle. 

but this isn’t megumi.

you barely dodge the blade again, ducking and sending your demon dogs out to slow him down as you sprint down the alley. your heart shatters at the sound of a high-pitched whine, but you can’t stop, you can’t look back—

“going somewhere?”

you skid to a stop in front of him, staggering back as quickly as you can. 

megumi— no, sukuna stands in front of you now, holding a sword you’d taught his vessel how to make, how to use. 

“please,” you beg, thinking of tsumiki’s body a few blocks away. thinking of gojo in the prison realm. you can’t lose anyone else today. “please let him go.”

“i don’t think so,” he grins, sick and twisted as he slowly makes his way towards you. “if only he’d unlocked his full potential sooner. if only you had.” 

“he’s just a child.” you say, voice trembling. you look around. there’s no use in running. he’s gotten much too strong.

but you’re not ready to die either.

he wasn’t patient, lunging first and taking the offense. it’s a struggle to meet him at every swing, deflecting blows that send tremors down the sword’s point of impact and reverberate through your arms. 

playing defence is the smart move. you’d wait for an opening or a drop in his own defence. then your goal would be to disarm him and attempt to grant yourself an advantage. 

(in theory, at least.)

when your swords lock once more, he forces them to the side, kicking you square in the chest. the impact knocks you onto your back. before you can get up, he’s on top of you, driving his sword into your shoulder.

the pain is so blinding, so white-hot and tortuous that you almost immediately pass out when he pulls it free and tosses it out of your reach. 

sukuna is in your face now, lips peeled back into a smirk as he laughs, the top of his finger slowly dragging down your face.

“putting you down now would be letting this brat off too easy. doing it slowly, however—”

“get off her.”

your heart skips a beat. that voice. 

there’s a flash of recognition in megumi’s eyes. just a for a second. 

“satoru?” 

“is that any way to treat the person who washed your underwear for almost ten years?” he tsks, hands in his pockets as he steps into the alley, quite literally kicking the king of curses off of you.

he sweeps you off the floor as gently as possible, your stomach flipping at the familiar sensation of being teleported.

you’re not in the alley anymore, you’re up on the roof of a building. as soon as satoru sets you on your feet, you look up, studying his face. the eyes you love so much stare back at you. 

the emotions you’d kept bottled up since he’d been gone pour out at once. proof of your heartache, anger, pain, and loneliness spilling over your lash line.

suddenly there’s too much space between you and you tentatively take a step forward. 

“it’s you,” you breathe. “it’s really you.” 

he says your name softly, and arms you’d longed for envelop you. you feel safe, if only for a moment.

“you need to get to ieiri,” he whispers, a hand cupping your cheek gently. “go. i’ll stop him.”

you both close your eyes, as if the words hurt.

_____

“promise me you’ll always be good.” 

megumi sighs, but places his hand in yours, squeezing it tightly.

“i’ll see what i can do.”

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #keeping up with the fushigojos #jjk manga spoilers #jjk spoilers