#this mv hurt me emotionally

[angyo]

It's funny there seems to be people who think that Muu is a makima-esque master manipulator based on the information we have. Bro have you see her trying to manipulate? Her most effective move is just crying but half the time that one just feels unintentional. When it's up to her to actually use her charisma she blunders so hard. Sure she can read people very well, but her best attempt at getting her way when someone isn't laying down for her is to just say the information she has as if just saying it is how it goes.

Sure cliques are gonna be filled with blunt passive aggressive assholes, but she also doesn't seem to distinguish friend from foe and cliques don't generally like when people can't play the mind games. It may be me projecting a bit, but she seems to picture relationships as a little bit TOO transactional, her sheer inflexibility feels a bit autistic. She's got a script and she freaks out when people go off of it.

No fucking way she got those friends through sheer charisma, I'm betting they were all just sucking up to the rich kid for cash. Meaning that whatever dirt rei had on her, it managed to turn people who had already decided to put up with the rich girl. I'm leaning toward at least some of it being gay shit, like even if muu doesn't realize it she pedestalizes rei a lot for someone who thinks their revenge was justified.

But if it was just rei giving proof of muu liking girls I'd think the bullying would be more directly homophobic, so she probably had a few kinds of dirt on her.

She also seems dangerously out of touch with her emotions, while also being out of touch with other people's. People say her mvs are just straightforward but they seem to be affected by her inner turmoil she doesn't wanna think about. It's hard to verbalize but the words she says often contrast the video. In after pain she has a lot more doubt, while still not accepting any fault she thinks about it despite the info we get being the bullying she endured. Then in inmf, she sounds so sure of everything while also imagining herself as an insect and her victim as normal. She is not as confident as she tries to seem

Really she just seems like a teen who's been allowed or even encouraged to stay emotionally immature getting herself into something she can't escape. Yeah she did all that mean shit, but she also got sucked into the cycle. She shouldn't have killed rei but she was clearly losing it. Murder wasn't justified but things happen in the heat of the moment, especially if you're completely emotionally unstable and in denial of it. She wasn't lying about having a clique but she also wasn't lying about feeling suicidal.

She and haruka are perfectly matched to bring out the worst in each other. Unfortunately for her ratings, she's got an offensive mental illness. probably one of those where it's like "bad person disorder: you are a terrible shitty person and it will never change. Also you're banned from 30 countries now :)". Which is also unfortunate for haruka since he's got self loathing issues, and while audiences handle those a little better it's not enough to overpower hating a self aggrandizing girl.

Hope someone stops him. For character development i think it'd be cool for muu to panic and do it, but idk if she's aware enough of her emotions to realize she'd miss him. Tbh also worried if they're gonna use haruka as a red herring, he's acting off enough to attract attention but muu also has a history of suicidality.

Prisoners not in the know are already getting suspicious of haruka, which best case means they catch him in time. If the writers wanna be cruel it also means muu can just decide to kill herself split second if the decision hurts enough and no one will suspect her

#angyo

[foxes-that-run]

Have you done a Hunger analysis/can you do one

Hi, I haven't, I love that song though. So here it is:

Hunger

It is about Harry looking back on a relationship he is not over. It was leaked in 20 April 2022, the week he played Coachella. See 2022 timeline if you subscribe to the thought the leaks are timed.

When it was written is less important because it's quite reflective, but based on 'one year into two', if I had to guess, I think this song is from the first week of January 2017:

4 January 2013 - Blue dress on a boat

6 January 2015 - Harry and Taylor were ambiguously dating (and touring) since Valentine's Day 2014. Harry arrived in LA on the 2nd and neither was seen for a few days. Taylor posted this photo with 'This Love' Lyrics. Harry then reappeared. Things seemed tense at Lily Aldridge's birthday on the 19th and Taylor went to Maui with the Haim sisters while Harry stayed in LA. Taylor started dating Calvin a few weeks later.

6 January 2016 - Harry posted this photo of rain on a window. Out of the Woods MV was just released, it aired NYE 2015 in the same show as the last 1D TV appearance.

5 January 2017 - The leak Lately included that it was written on 5 January 2017, He flew to LA on the 6th. Lately was leaked on 6 January 2024. That is one year turning two from 2015:

Lyrics

Candles burnt down to the floor Wearing less than you wore before Shoes sitting by the door never put them on We would stay in my house for days Spilling breakfast on pillowcases Your stuff don’t taste the same Now that you’re gone

The first verse is reminiscing of the good times, of enjoying spending time together in a hedonistic way.

To me the first lines are on New Years Eve 2012 which Taylor also included in New Years Day "Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor / You and me from the night before". If written in January the shared NYE memory would have been timely.

I love the line "shoes sitting by the door" it sounds to me like they were to go out but stayed in to be together.

"Your stuff don't taste the same" to me is her music, especially Red and 1989, I imagine hearing them after they were actually over would hurt with how much the themes of 1989 especially are "built to fall apart and back together again"

I guess I’m prone to overthinking One thing goes wrong and I can’t adjust I’ve lost the taste for the good in us And I’m sorry

The second verse is talking about feeling sad that Harry wasn't able to keep the relationship and his engagement with it.

"Lost the taste for the good": reminds me of the Two Ghosts, "We're not who we used to be". Two Ghosts was written around Valentines Day 2015, soon after this break up. To Nick Grimshaw Harry said about it "sometimes things change, and you can do all the same things, and sometimes it’s just different, you know". I think this is a similar detached loss of connection, later to Zane Lowe Harry said he was 'just coasting.'

I think with more time for reflection this song has matured to see with regret why he lost the taste for the good in what he lost, which Two Ghosts doesn't get into.

"Prone to overthinking" is interesting, Harry seems like he would. He uses this word again in Grapejuice about Taylor, he acknowledges she worries about other girls and assures he doesn't want anyone else "You're always there, so don't overthink, I'm so over whites and pinks"

We had a hunger then only each other then Couldn’t get enough when we started Always a hunger then now it’s just emptiness We were in love, we were starving We had a hunger then

To me, the song title and chorus has a double meaning:

In the first half of the chorus Harry is singing about Hunger in the sense of an insatiable desire for each other. The bliss of a new relationship where you just want to be together all the time.

This ends with 'now there's just emptiness. He uses emptiness as an analogy for being emotionally depleted in Ever Since New York also "There's no water inside this swimming pool" and in Two Ghosts "We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty"

I hear a second meaning with "we were in love, we were starving." The theme of the song is reflecting on where it went wrong, I think he is referring their mental health and wellbeing at the time as being a factor for why it didn't work out.

We could ruin a perfect night On my birthday I made you cry You told me you learned to drive I guess you lied I could never get sick of you I just bit off more than I could chew And as one year turns into two I’m still not over you, still not over you

As the song says, they are still not over each other.

You told me you learned to drive

This could be read two ways, as many anons have said to me today :)

Taylor used driving as a metaphor for their relationship in Treacherous and throughout 1989 and Harry did in Keep Driving. The line is saying that she told Harry they could make it work but she lied and they didn’t. I really like this interpretation, it reminds me of Fools Gold where he also called her a lair for him feeling like his commitment to their relationship wasn’t reciprocated

This reminds me of of a Gatsby quote Jordan says to Nick: “You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.”

On my birthday I made you cry

Taylor also refers to this in Coney Island the male part sings "Were you standing in the hallway / With a big cake, happy birthday". Sadly there are options for this, I think the big cake is a metaphor for an special gift:

2015, he threw a big party with lots of famous people in LA just before he left for tour. After possibly break up 6 January, on the 17th Taylor shared a photo of her kitchen with the framed Temper Trap Lyrics on her stove, (below). She then went to Maui with the Haim sisters, on the 23rd - 30th (I wonder if Harry was meant to go). On Harry's birthday she was in Nashville.

2013 Taylor had Temper Trap write and sign the correct lyrics/Arm Lyrics/Tattoo and framed it for his birthday, but they broke up before she gifted it. She included it in the photo again in 2015. :( The blue dress on a boat was 4 January, however she was in London on the 21st and rumoured to see him. There were reports she had booked a week in Italy as well as other gifts. Harry had a wild 19th birthday with a £5k bar tab and strippers.

I could never get sick you

I hear "I could never get sick of you" as responding to something said directly to Harry. However, in November 2015 Taylor used those words to Vogue. It's an interesting comment that was foreshadowing the Reputation era. If this song was written in early 2017 it would have been the thick of that:

"I'll need to give people a certain breather from me because at a certain point they're going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so then I'll need to go away for a while and then depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are I'll decide when to put out the next album,"

I just bit off more than I could chew

I think this is the crux of it, Harry was quite young when they started dating and the One Direction schedule of a tour and album every year was intense. In his more recent interviews he's talked about mental health, and his band mates have also spoken about the toll it took on them. I think Harry was not available or ready to provide an older partner who was also anxious the support she was looking for. In his words in To be So Lonely, he "Wasn't ready for it all".

#haylor #harry styles #harry styles unreleased

[shadowetienne]

OnlyOneOf seOul cOllectiOn Album Thoughts

Reading through the "seOul drift" MV description, I was struck by the part that was talking about the album as a whole (bolding mine, I've left out the part specifically talking about "seOul drift"):

Seoul is the city of brilliant lights. Underneath those lights, there are also young people who’ve been hurt by others and who are wandering along the dotted line of lostness. The new album of OnlyOneOf, who has come back as a group after a year, is named “seOul cOllectiOn” for a reason.

The 6 members have sung the dreams and hopes of young minorities by presenting “undergrOund idOl,” the diary of the youths, one after another last year. The reason stories are woven together with the voices of all 6 members this time is that the album captures the stories of Seoul’s loneliness and solitude, and those who are hurt in this city.

...

Seoul is now one of the most prominent cities in the world. K-pop has also become a genre that not only Koreans listen to. Everything in this city has become more glamorous and bustling, but that doesn’t mean everyone is happy.

OnlyOneOf always sings about loneliness and pain or the stories of those whose love isn’t blessed. We often simply brush them off as something minor, but they are stories that someone should caress and embrace.

OnlyOneOf hopes that there will be unknown gods’ blessings in these difficult steps being taken, and that there will be blessings from our fans whom we appreciate and whose names you may not know.

This made me really interested to look at the lyrical elements of the album as a whole and what it is saying about loneliness and those stories of the people whose love could not be blessed (that's such a emotionally powerful way of phrasing what they're talking about).

Under the cut, I'm going to talk about each song (these are more impressions and stream of conscious about each song rather than in depth lyrics analysis).

chrOme hearts

This song is interesting to me because I feel like it can be read several different ways. Is it an unhealthy obsession and returning to a bad relationship even though it's painful because it's the only connection that you have? Is it about sex and fear of connecting put putting yourself on the line in other ways even though the heart is chrome and reflective and hard to connect to/cold? Is it about the fear and pain around the kind of love and sexuality that someone has that has been instilled socially that makes it hard to break free and actually form a safe feeling relationship?

My big take away from these lyrics, every possible connection that the narrator is experiencing brings some sort of heartbreak and relationships are hard and potentially isolating and lonely for our "lovers who could not be blessed."

This is definitely connecting to me to that idea of the having come to a big city because it seems safer/better/more likely to have people like you, but then struggling to connect and finding heartbreak and loneliness because connecting is hard, and a lot of queer people who do this bring a lot of the ways that they were hurting (especially from their family) with them in their head. Possibly the idea of the kind of love that they are experiencing should hurt or make them feel guilty on some level.

seOul drift

A lot of the song deals with the idea of following your own path and finding freedom. It's a lonely sort of feeling, but at least you're free. There's also the feelings of missed connections, getting a little closer but not quite there, especially because everything in the city is going so fast.

mirage

This song is so poignant and really seems to be looking back on something that was almost a relationship to me, something where there was the possibility for the connection, but neither half was able to bring themselves to break past the mirage, the illusory barrier that they had created between them and society, what I often call the veil of plausible deniability. There's a lot of regret in these lyrics, a lot of wishing that they could reach each other past that distance, but there's a feeling that maybe they need to let go, to move past this because it's hurting them and they can't get past that illusion and either find something real behind it or find that it wouldn't have worked after all. The maybe is perhaps even harder.

candy bOmb

... I have a really hard time reading this as about anything other than hook ups and wanting something more in terms of an emotional connection but instead just having those fleeting moments that are very much full of sweet pleasure and enjoyment, but also are in a ways destructive to them because they aren't getting the connection that is so clearly wanted. That person could change them, if they'd just have more than something physical between them, if they'd actually go over and connect when it wasn't for a hook up. Again with the isolation/connection theme and fear of real connection.

blueblueseOul

The longing and regret and missing connection in this song and its lyrics are just so very very compelling. The feeling of wanting to find someone again, wanting to have that connection again. The connections to scent and memory as this driving element. It almost gives me the image of someone who let the other person go, that person left for the city and its hope/promise first, before the speaker was ready to try or able to leave. And now the speaker has followed them, but that connection is severed, and they don't know how to find them in this isolation of the city or whether the other person would even want them there again, but there's the desperate longing for that sort of connection that they once had.

nabi

This song feels like it's about the moment of a maybe connection, of something with potential to bloom. Maybe where the person being described is more out, more open, more possessing of the freedom and ability to show themselves that the speaker is still afraid to reach for. But there's been a moment of connection, the beginning of something blooming between the two, but it feels like it could only be a dream to the speaker because it seems too good to be true. Is it though? Who knows, it's the start of it! There's something scared but also hopeful about this. I like ending on a note that feels hopeful that something could bloom, that something could grow, that the speaker(s) could have a connection!

I am ignoring the English version of dOra maar because (a) why and (b) it feels to an extent like it was tacked on here (because they needed to release it eventually? because they are about to go on their Americas tour and they thought an English song would be a good idea? I don't know, but I don't think that it adds to the narrative of the album).

OK, but I really want the sequel album to this one to be called seOul cOnnectiOn because that would give me even more feelings.

Parting thoughts on the album just for those who might be curious. My ranking of the songs goes:

mirage >= nabi >= blueblueseOul >> chrOme hearts > seOul drift >= candy bOmb (I like all the songs up to this point to varying degrees, they at least have elements that appeal to me)

(>>>>>>>> dOra maar (English version) - the English lyrics destroy the song for me sadly because original dOra maar is so so so good, so we're just sitting here pretending like this isn't here, ok)

#OnlyOneOf #seOul cOllectiOn #lyrics and song thoughts #I do feel like there's a lot of cohesive themes #I am really really interested to see what follows this #and looking forward to seeing some of these performed live at the end of April

[frankiistein]

bons love for bien was pretty much instantaneous when he first saw him so the contrast to portrayals of how bien was treated as a teenager has interesting implications, bon probs gradually started growing distant from him at some point, maybe because of their trauma issues, maybe from how hard it was to handle's bien violence or maybe because of more shallow "ppl don't want children they want babies" reasonings

most likely a mix of different things like that

bons an interesting depiction of a parent because of the stress on how parenthood itself often has unhealthy effects on children, the notes for the tyam mv imply bon is not stereotypically "abusive" and genuinely does what they think is best for bien, and in the "be good" bonus comic bon's behavior is typical of "good parents" - i dont think its unreasonable for bon to want to tell bien off for killing things especially knowing biens future to be freed of exile rests on those expectations

bon has done bad things to bien like the insults for his incompetence, i think what interests me is that bon is not a parent who is abusive because they want control or possession over bien, and wanting him to be freed of exile shows theyre willing to lose bien forever if its for his futures sake

and the hurtful behaviors we see bon do are the things people will say "parents just do", parents mocking their children or not getting to the root of "bad behavior" and failing to emotionally connect to their children for that reasonings is so normalized and people rarely questions, it hurts children or has negative effects on them as time goes on

the trend is seen w/ how parenthood is portrayed in other pairs, jacques's parents to jacques, to an extent even mirasol/ava to the marginals

its showing that parents having so much controls on the autonomy of their children or being unable to deal with children "having tantrums" or "misbehaving" because they dont seriously take their emotions, even if these are "normal" expectations of parents they really hurt children, it shows a relationships of in what ways surviving childhood can be a struggle even with parents who love you and does what is expected of them

idk i think its just an interesting narrative choice, because its easy to have made the parents in the story a more typical idea of "abusive" to justify why their children act that way. i think to see a story where we see how the children develop maladapted attitudes as adults (jacques bien media) "despite" parent figures who were doing their best for them (based on what is "normal" for parents) and not "abused" them AND to actually make the children here more sympathetic than the parents, its not something i really see much if at all. because usually, the parents are written to be worse or to not care about their children, "love" is a lie and manipulations tactic, or the behavior issues are not linked to parenthood so strongly but instead attributed to other traumas as if only "abusive" parenting can harm you

i think with how nd-coded everyone is too its an added layer of how nd children they can struggle because of their parents using parenting approaches even types of therapies etc that are designed to only manage "bad" behaviors but they dont address the reasonings why those behaviors exist. especially with bien (or the demons in general) having traits that i relate to as an autistic person (bien is autism icon)

parent figures are justly criticized but the parent characters arent particularly villainized (even ava who is the bitchiest character is portrayed with "righteousness" when you contrast def-se), because its not a story about how these specific parents fail their children, its about how PARENTHOOD as a role is laden with problems when the goal is for what is "best" for children without considering how those children feel, or how a parents love cant save you when your position in the world is to be treated as someone who doesnt belong anywhere

#breadavota #Writing about bien specifically in another post

[oldsargasso]

WELL. The last ep did not provide any contradictions wrt Kenta getting Kim out of Tony’s, so we are free to continue just assuming it happened LOL. I also think Kenta must have helped Kim get settled in! He did seem more emotionally invested in Red Racing than Tony was, like he protested Tony pulling their funding (and perhaps he’d foolishly hoped that it could have become a venture that Tony cared about more than the trafficking). Benz made an offhand comment in a live about Kenta contacting him to join Red Racing, so I’m just going to tell myself they knew each other before the kidnapping, because that Look said everything. And what an odd shift in dynamic that must be, from having someone show you your new apartment to having them hold a knife to your neck to having them kneel at your feet. 

(screaming about Kim giving Kenta a collar PLEASE)

I’m also going to assume that Kim saw Kenta collapsed by Tony’s body with a bloody knife in his hand, put two-and-two together, quietly crouched by his side and lay a hand on his shoulder. (I can’t stop thinking about Kenta looking like a puppet with his strings cut)

Kim and Winner’s relationship this episode… there’s so much to unpack there. Kim certainly did get his payback for Winner kicking him while he was down. But Winner pointing a gun at North and Sonic is gonna hang between them for a long time, those are Kim’s BABIES! But also the way Winner always folds so deliciously when he’s overpowered, like can him and Dean have matching collars with Kenta? I think Winner and Kim would have a (hate fueled) physical relationship before they develop anything else. They’ve certainly got a LONG way to go.

I think Kenta paid someone to sabotage Babe’s car, and since there was a gap between Kim finding the footage, letting Tony know he knew, and getting kidnapped, he could have informed X-Hunter and they ideally banned that dude. (there are SO many plot holes to patch up ahdjfj) I do think Winner could easily have mentioned Dean as a candidate, yes!

And yeah I agree, it’s WinnerDean + KimKenta in my head. I’ve got a couple different ideas on how the pairs would get tangled up with each other, and I’m trying to weave them together into a cohesive thread.

First of all, I think Kenta and Dean could easily end up doing community service together, and it becomes this weird bonding thing for them? Like they’re both left with their lives in pieces at the end of this crisis, and they end up in the same place. At the start of it, Dean can’t look at Kenta (or anyone really) without glaring at him, while Kenta just radiates sad puppy energy even though is expression is completely flat. But by the end of it, they’ve got this sort of… companionship with each other. (watch me end up writing KentaDean fic once I wrap my head around their complicated emotions)

(And this is where I tie in our WinnerDean poolboy thread) So when Dean gets hurt by Winner, Kenta finds out about it, which means Kim finds out about it. And Kim already has five hundred bones to pick with Winner, which means Winner gets his face slammed against the tile of the diner-bar bathroom and a very harshly worded interrogation of what his intentions are with Dean, which prompts him into actually fixing that situationship this time (because oh, it was in fucking shambles when he had the audacity to offer Dean money).

And it also means that KimKenta start a regular thing of taking Dean out for drinks/coffee, because Kenta cares and Kim realizes Dean doesn’t have anyone looking out for him. And Kim isn’t blind, he sees the looks Dean gives them, especially the wistfulness when Kim has a hand on the back of Kenta’s neck. 

Anyways that’s just a thought! I’m just glad they all survived (no WAY SonicNorth would be killing someone) LMFAO WE MADE IT AND NOW WE HAVE THE MV TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

And no you are definitely not alone in that Winner -> Babe thought! They fucked once years ago and Babe told Winner he was stinky and a bad lay, and Winner basically never got over it.

I am so sorry it's taken me like a week to answer this. I kinda want to just hoard these in my inbox forever honestly

the one real advantage of caring so much about side couples is there's so little to go on we can just make up whatever we want lol. SHUT UP I never even considered that Kenta was the one to contact Kim after Tony choose him for Red Racing. omg. [have I discussed with you the fic I'm very very slowly working on where Kenta collects Kim from the airport when he arrives and they hook up from then because for a long time Kim thinks Kenta is like Tony's super buff but totally regular P.A. leading to delicious betrayal when Kenta pulls the knife] I forgot about Kenta actually arguing about cutting the funding. he's so invested!!

I often think about these events from Kenta's perspective (since we kinda get more of him onscreen) but Kim truly has the wildest journey of everyone in the show. like he's already got a career racing. and then he moves to Thailand for a bunch of money and finds out his new boss (I almost typed owner but um.) is actually in the market of human trafficking and organ trading? and then gets found family'd into a whole new racing team. and the whole time he's just so cool with it?? god I love Kim.

(listen if anyone deserves a collar it's Kenta and if anyone deserves to collar someone it's Kim)

the fact that no-one went over to Kenta after that…DEVASTATING. I haven't been able to rewatch the episode yet - I want to watch the whole series from the beginning - but that being the last we see of Kenta is the second worst thing the show has done. (first worst is Dean not even getting MENTIONED in the final episode I cannot live like this) but it's okay because we know that during the race at the end Kenta was sitting in the stands supporting his boyfriend 😌 had a handmade sign and everything 😌

Winner pointing a gun at North and Sonic but also going "but first: are you two…y'know…" I love him so much he's so terrible. he was SO PATHETIC at the end of that encounter. and NOT DEAD just injured. North and Sonic are KIM'S BABIES!!! (in another universe what a fun ship the three of them would be unfortunately my heart cannot go there. I think they have fun together for a little while though.) I especially love that Kim got another chance to be a badass.

oooh I have so many Thoughts about collars. like for Kenta it's 100% ownership (at least 15% of my brain is just constantly going "he's a loyal dog a LOYAL DOG") I feel like he wants to wear it all the time. a conscious reminder that he's not on his own. Winner does not want a collar. why would he want one! I think it plays well with the still-antagonistic relationship he and Kim have. Winner gets a collar more as a reminder: "behave or else" (perhaps a leash and muzzle to reinforce the message) and then Dean, hm. part ownership/belonging, part 'look how pretty you look in it' you know? I will refrain from going on about what each collar looks like lol. also Kim should get a physical symbol as well. maybe a pretty necklace, perhaps with three pendants/charms or something.

I GOTTA GO READ THE FIC YOU JUST POSTED AJSHFAJGFIA. I still haven't read the pacific rim au either because I want to devote my whole brain to it. but yes. YES TO EVERYTHING ALL OF THAT!! community service as a gateway to a happy poly relationship. the system works. not Dean's wistful little looks :(((

I love poolboy Dean :( screaming at Kim slamming Winner's head into the wall. it's what he deserves 😌 I just love how emotionally clueless Winner is. like it never even occurs to him that other people might have Feelings because he's spent a long time not acknowledging his own. he's not a narcissist he's just oblivious. it's an interesting dichotomy because Winner has a high self-esteem, he loves himself, yet it never occurs to him that other people might like (love??) him. his immaturity after Tony appointed him Kenta's replacement is such a lovely character detail. for him the events of the show are basically an opportunity for him to play-act as a bad guy, because he's got the secure foundation of his rich family. he's been the star of Red Racing for years(?), he's popular, he's talented. and the contrast of him v. Kim, who's got much the same background is so fun.

WHERE IS THE MV. I NEED IT. I NEED TO WATCH IT FIVE HUNDRED TIMES AND BE SUPER NORMAL ABOUT EVERYTHING IN IT.

ETA: I automatically put this in my queue instead of just posting it lol BUT now I can add. forgot to talk about the start of the polycule beyond kentakim + winnerdean. although I love your ideas and would like you to tell me 5 million words of them. I have been Thinking about Kim/Dean where Dean serves his community service and he repents and is absolved by Babe (Way gets to take the easy way out :|) and rejoins x hunter BUT not as a driver, just working in the garage. and he's like mad at Kim for taking his place but at the same time Kim doesn't have the History the others do with Dean, so Kim's actually the one Dean finds himself hanging out with the most. and then it leads to hooking up (it's great) and the tentative start of a relationship. and then Pete comes round like "I found this 🤨" and hands over Kenta. and then Kim has a new project to focus on and Dean is NOT JEALOUS but he is, Kim doesn't want him anymore, it's very tragic. perhaps he goes out and has ill-advised revenge sex with Winner (it's great) and comes back to Kim like "what do you think about that huh!" and Kim's like. "hot." and it carries on from there.

#asks #pit babe polycule #pit babe

[treepilgrim]

unsolicited tree thoughts:

If you’re going to watch a single voice drama for T2, watch Amane’s. Not only is it, in my opinion, the most intriguing and well written one, but it also gives you quite the insight into her cultish mindset and her reasons for her murder.

So!! Let me pinpoint some of her more questionable statements to demonstrate what I mean:

“It wasn’t murder. It was merely a punishment in line with our doctrine.”

I think the main takeaway from the MV that most people got (including me) was that Amane killed the guy as revenge for the mistreatment and abuse she endured. However, while personal reasons may certainly be a factor in the murder, these lines make it rather clear that the main motive is probably still religion. Does this mean that if we forgive her, we’re commending whatever screwed up cult she’s in?? Maybe, maybe not. But I thought it was rather interesting.

Although I say that, I’m not discounting the possibility that she’s simply using religion as a justification for a emotionally-motivated murder. But really, if you watch the voice drama, it really does feel otherwise.

“In light of our doctrine, your insult to us is more than enough to warrant a punishment!” (proceeds to attack Es with scissors)

goddamnit. I’m so sick of people telling me that Amane is a kid and can’t do any harm even it she’s voted innocent. She literally lunges at Es with scissors, screaming “I’LL KILL YOU” repeatedly. ANYONE can do a lot of harm given the right motivation. Amane’s motivation is obviously her religious doctrine, and clearly, she’s very committed to it. So that’s a nice peek into her mental state I guess. I think this section also further suggests that her religion still played a very big part in her murder.

Furthermore, if simple insults from Es can warrant this kind of violent reaction, consider this:

“Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven.”

“Oh, speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.”

“I have given (shidou) a warning. If he continues, I suppose it will be inevitable for me to intervene.”

it’s shidou. By virtue of his profession, he is violating one of her ‘four great principles’. I’m harping on this like a broken recorder because if Es’ INSULT manages to incite mauling with scissors, what kind of grand punishment would Shidou’s violation of the FOUNDING PRINCIPLES of her religion buy him??? The previous interaction literally demonstrates that Amane’s is PERFECTLY capable of harm.

Additionally, to those saying Shidou can totally hold his own against a child, consider everything that I’ve said and also that:

1. Shidou killed people who are unconscious while Amane supposedly beat up a full-grown man. Shidou has no combat advantage here.

2. Have you ever had to wrestle a spoiled kid away from something once and they’re kicking and screaming and biting your forearms?? I have. It’s hurts like hell and very difficult to keep under control. Now replace this petulant kid with a child harboring pure vitriol and murderous intent. Rhetorical question here: Are you sure you will leave the situation completely fine? Just a thought.

3. While Shidou supposedly now has a new purpose to ‘extract that fang’, we don’t actually know just how much his resolve has strengthened. It doesn’t mean he’s still not feeling massive amounts of guilt. And I want to make this clear before y’all come at me, I’m not claiming anything, I am merely speculating. So what do I think will happen? @alabella puts it best: “If Amane ends up getting forgiven, it’s not that he’ll be unable to defend himself, it’ll be that he wouldn’t *want* to. This is the man that felt so guilty for being unable to save a child that he wanted the death penalty, he’s just gonna sit there and let it happen.”

whoops, looks I slipped up and accidentally started pushing my Shidou-favouritism agenda and we-might-want-to-consider-Amane-guilty agenda.

For the record, I’m not expecting anything out of this. It’s highly unlikely she’ll be guilty at the rate this is going. But if we make it out of T2 without any violence between her and Shidou, by Jove, will I be pleasantly surprised.

Also, while we’re on the topic of bad outcomes:

“Are the prisoners who weren’t forgiven feeling lost right now? Maybe they need our faith as well.”

(credit for noticing this point and being willing to share it with me: @alabella)

This was given as a one-off statement so it’s rather easy to miss the implications. But listen: Who could Amane be referring to? Who is the most ‘lost’ right now, of the guilty prisoners? Probably not Mikoto, definitely not Amane, so that leaves Fuuta and Mahiru.

Fuuta probably won’t buy it, let’s be real.

Mahiru, on the other hand… We’ve already established through other voice dramas that her psychological state is pretty down in the dumps right now. Furthermore, she’s confused about whether loving someone is bad, and actually our new innocent verdict might not necessarily help this, since it might make her even more confused and lost, if that makes sense. So, honestly? Mahiru is pretty susceptible to indoctrination if Amane ever decides to do missionary work. :/

And what does that spell? I have no idea, but probably not anything good. We also can’t discount the possibility that the prisoners voted guilty in T2 (Haruka especially) may also be indoctrinated. That’s probably a bad thing.

Conclusion: Bad things happened, bad things will happen.

So, yeah. There it is. Watch the voice drama. Cheerio.

#milgram #amane momose #milgram amane

[tangerinedream22]

Tae-man's GUILTY: A True-man Show?

Guilty was a challenge. In every sense. This CB left me with a lot of lasting impressions and mixed feelings.

Above all, after watching the MV for the first time, a feeling of...despair??? But also liberation? I think I can already say that GUILTY is one of my best songs of 2023. Not just because I like Taemin so much. A song has to 'hit' me emotionally if I think it's really good and GUILTY did this.

I saw and read some song interpretations and there was a lot of interpretation put into the song, but I think the best always comes from the artist themselves.

"Everyone is guilty, whether it's a little or a lot, but it's truer to show it rather than hide it," he adds. "[The single] 'Guilty' is about a selfish love that hurts the other person. It doesn't come from my experience, but I used it as a way to define what love is and express it on stage."

It doesn't come from his experience, Taemin said. With this sentence, all speculation should be superfluous as to how much of Taemin's drama is in this drama like song, MV and the teasers. This still leaves me with doubts even though it shouldn't be :)

It's about sacrifice, making sacrifices, sacrificing yourself out of love for someone or for something you love.

''But there is always a sacrifice, and forcing someone to sacrifice is also love." Admitting the side of love, the side that no one wants or expects, is a wisdom he has acquired over time. "There are a lot of things I get from being a singer, but at the same time there are a lot of things I have to give up and those are the ones I emphasized in this single."

But maybe it's also because someone, for example a very young person whose great passion is music and dance, is made a victim of all this. From the entertainment industry, the artist agency, PR people, the press, the public, the fans, the antis, etc.

Feminization, sexualization of very young (way too young) KPop idols? I remember the jaket shoot for 'Sherlock' and the photos for Sherlock and Guilty have a lot of similarities. The colors, the lasciviousness, Taemin looks like a teenager again in GUILTY, even the grapes and a flowery sofa. I remember him saying back then that he wanted to look like a man, but his body ended up looking like a child's. Yes it really did and I think it was intentional. And I think that's the real problem with these photos. Other than that, I thought the Sherlock photos were just awful. Who was behind this concept??? I think it was no coincidence that this concept was revisited for GUILTY.

I don't want to unnecessarily interpret anything into this song, I sometimes thought to myself that all these metaphors and symbols (he really is a true INFP :)) that he uses here speak their own language.

And at the same time I'm thinking of songs like 'Internet War' (listen to the lyrics, this performance (in the end it was nothing than a rehearsed, predetermined performance, they did their duties) in connection with the lyrics drew attention to a lot of things.

And I think of 'Narcistic Cannibal' as well. The lyrics are quite interesting. But it doesn't have to mean anything for him personally. But I think there are often things in life that haunt you and take up a lot of precious and sweet time. Whatever it is.

Sometimes people say things through metaphors, symbols, song lyrics, hints ( i do that a lot, too) that you can't or want speak freely about, aren't allowed to speak about.

I'm still left with a feeling of despair. And a lot of question marks :) But I think for Taemin, GUILTY was really a kind of liberation and releave. And only he knows if so and for what.

#taemin #lee taemin #taemin guilty #guilty #korn #narcistic cannibal #internet war #seo taiji & boys #kpop #k music #Youtube

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

With Kazui's MV dropping almost three weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about some personal stuff. (Long rant coming under cut) (it's not even really about MILGRAM)

TW for suicide. And like. Not in the context of MILGRAM.

Back in October 2022, I had made the decision to end my life before March 2023. And from October to March, I held a journal where I would write something, anything, each day. It was a countdown. And one of the first things I wrote in this journal (on D-138) was "Kazui's song probably won't be out before March, it's a real shame". His song was the one I was the most hyped for when the T2 songs preview came out.

Things happened, I went to the psych ward for a while, and in the end I got to be alive on July 26th for the release of "cat". What I felt looking at my computer screen waiting for the premiere to start was undescribable. It's at this moment that it truly hit me that I was still alive. I got to listen to this music. I got to see the continuation of a project I love with all my heart. And I will be alive to see its ending.

During trial 2, there's obviously been a lot of talk about suicide (Haruka, Mahiru, Kazui). And since it's a topic I've been very much aware of in the past months, it hits close to home :

• When Haruka's VD came out, I was in the same position as him : preparing my own death. I hadn't chosen a date yet but I was already thinking about ending it all. His VD just made the suicidal thoughts louder. The possibility more real. It felt like it was worth considering.

• Then Mu's VD came out and by supporting Haruka's promise, she validated my own feelings. "She's right", I thought, "it's my choice and my choice only, so people have no business trying to stop me. Plus I've made a promise to myself. I shall keep it." Of course there are so many voices online and offline saying the contrary, begging suicidal people to reconsider, to seek help. But I wouldn't hear them anymore, I'd cling onto any sort of validation of my feelings. Finally someone understood me. And even if they're not real, their lines have been written by real people. It means that someone out there is trying to understand my point of view. In a way, even though it pushed me further towards death, it was the first glimmer of hope: maybe if I opened up someone would understand and help me in a way that actually works for me.

• Shidou's MV came out while I was in the psych ward. While I was slowly starting to recover. While I was considering living as an option again. Just like him huh. How appropriate. Yeah, maybe there were new people in my life worth living for, people I wanted to see happy. The other patients. Not my patients, unlike Shidou, but still. People who are hurting and that I want to see heal.

I'm going to skip over the rest, but you get the idea : MILGRAM accompanied me through one of the most, let's say, emotionally charged parts of my life. And that may be why I feel so strongly about the characters of this project : I see them, and I want them to get better.

I wish MILGRAM was a psych ward instead of a prison. These "prisoners" don't need to be judge, just like being judged for my decision was the last thing I needed. No. What I needed, what they need, is care. They don't need to be interrogated, they need to be listened to. They don't need to be restrained, they need to be in a safe environment, so that won't endanger themselves or others. They don't need to be punished for the way they've lived up until now, they need to learn how to live going forward. Just like we all do.

They're not murderers. They are people who committed murder. That's not the same.

They're human. At least they're very much human to me. If only human beings helped each others. So that people can find ways to live happily without hurting others.

We don't need more prisons, we need more public service. We need solidarity. Mutual aid.

(you thought this post was about MILGRAM, but it was actually socialist propaganda hahaha I tricked you)

#i feel like posting this. and this is my blog so nothing's stopping me #also please don't worry about my mental health. you don't have the energy to care about every stranger on the internet #i just felt like sharing a bit of myself on here. it's quite freeing honestly #cw sui mention #i just have so many thoughts about how my exp in the psych ward can be very loosely compared to milgram #for example i can tell that after a week or two the other patients were fucking family to me #living 24/7 with 15 other people who have similar issues as you and in a very vulnerable moment for all of you. it creates strong bonds fr #like i realise the setting of milgram is different but idk how more of the prisoners aren't closer to each other #anyway rant over. good night y'all

[borathae]

Dear Sibi, I just want to say that I absolutely love Jungkook and Yoongi s connection in SA, your latest gif reminded me of that. But could you possibly expand on why Jungkook is yoongis weak spot (ofc oc too). But like what makes him so affectionate towards the young vampire? What does he mean to him? Without necessarily putting their dynamic in a box...

I just love it so much, the lovemaking one-shot you wrote of them is my top 5 on your page. What does Jungkook have that brings out the delicate in yoongi like that? Like even when he was training him, he was indirectly servicing his pleasure, like even when "hurting" him he did it because the young vampire got off on it soooooo good.

NO BUT I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP TOO!! They are my faves right after Yoongs and OC :( those two deserve the world, no fucking joke.

Yoongi most definitely has the softest spot for Kookie, one can be sure of that. I think that he sees a lot of himself in Kook as far as his struggles and fears are concerned. Kook never asked to be a Ripper and neither did Yoongi, so whenever Yoongi looks at Kook he sees his younger self in him. And he'll do anything in his power to make sure that Kook doesn't have to live the life he had to live. It took Yoongi many, many decades to live normally (yk without his urges controlling his every move) and Yoongi doesn't want that for Kook hence why he works so fkcing hard to help him.

But Yoongi doesn't only care for him because of their shared burden. Kookie is a sweet and soft-hearted person and Yoongi knows that. They talk a lot on the road and Yoongi grew really fond of Kookie because of how he is, how he thinks, how he feels and talks. It sounds so lame, but it really is the truth. Most Ripper (or Gluttons for that matter) find some sort of sick joy in their being (you'll find out more about that in MV, promise). But not Kookie. The only thing Kookie wants is to be friends with humans, to be their lover, to be soft and gentle and tender and Yoongi just...listen, he just wants to protect that sweet innocence of Kook as best as possible.

Yoongi also can most definitely not deny that he is very attracted to Kook. There may be a part of him which sees Kookie as his younger friend who he needs to protect and guide and nurture, but there is also definitely a big part of him that is very attracted to him. Both physically and emotionally. So whenever he fucks him, he may be disguising it as "practice" but rest assured that he is actually doing it because he is so fucking into Kook.

I seriously want to tell you more about their dynamic, but I think that this would spoil a lot of MV and I just want you guys to be able to learn about their dynamic as the story progresses. It's gonna be such a good progress, no joke.

What I can tell you however is that Yoongi would kill for both OC and Kook and that means a lot as far as Yoongi is concerned 😔💜

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #anon #hcs: sanguis duology

[kafus]

i wrote about my feelings over kanzaki's departure in a journal entry back when fukakai sou happened, i'm pasting the parts relevant to him now here since kaikou's mv just released. i still feel very very strongly about everything i wrote here and my feelings have not changed other than the pain settling a little bit. i'm excited for what comes next for both of them independent from each other even though it still stings

the stuff i wrote in february is long so i'm putting it below a cut. the "..." dividers are me cutting out unrelated concert stuff

kanzaki iori is the man who wrote all of the songs i have talked about at length in this journal entry. he is the man who wrote the songs that have held my hand over the past 2 years of my life, which have been some of the hardest years of my life. his words, his lyrics, have guided me through reliving my terrible childhood and guided me to slowly but surely becoming an adult despite the pain, despite the fear. to say he has had a deep impact on my life would be an understatement. he is present in all of kaf's old music - kaf has said in interviews that she is bad at expressing her emotions, but kanzaki's lyrics give her a way to express them. when she bends her voice in such a way that it makes me cry, it's kanzaki's words that she is screaming. as well as any of her own, it is his sorrow that she is expressing. i don't know kanzaki in real life, and i don't know what he struggles with, but he has said that his music is a way for him to vent his own emotions, and i do, from far away, relate to being an adult who cannot completely move on from how painful childhood was, but has to.

for a while now, it was kind of easy to tell he was in a bit of a slump. weeks ago, i realized that kaf's music was changing and probably not going back to how it used to be. the past year, during the "tsubame era" as i like to call it, kaf has not done very much music with kanzaki despite that being almost entirely what she used to sing. she has branched out, which is good! but kanzaki's trilogies had wrapped up and it seemed like he didn't know where to go next. at first, this realization really hurt me, as i held onto kanzaki and kaf's music as a duo for comfort, and this is actually what spurred me to reread the lyrics to kyoukankaku and come to some acceptance about it. that is to say, i kind of knew this was coming and i was partially emotionally prepared as a result, but barely. not being completely caught offguard eased me into accepting that it was happening, but it was still very, very difficult. i am still struggling with this somewhat as i write. it's one of the reasons i started writing this journal in the first place.

...

i took to twitter to send a message of support to kanzaki and eagerly read the note he put out about why he was leaving, with the help of DeepL and the rest of the kamitsubaki english fandom, since my japanese is not near good enough to read something of this complexity and length. it nearly made me cry again. i can only hope that kanzaki is able to rejuvenate his artistic passion and finds peace with his work as he moves down his own path. i am deeply appreciative that he was given the time and space to say goodbye to kaf during a concert and perform a couple of songs with her, that they turned his goodbye into art, because kanzaki is deeply important to everything that kaf was as a work of art, and him leaving will have massive effects on the future of kaf. he has touched so many lives. he deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated and remembered, and he deserves to be happy wherever he goes next.

...

i can't quite say that i'm "over" it yet, even though i kind of knew this was coming, and even though i experienced a sense of closure and moving forward with kyoukankaku and everything that came after. it's not that linear, it's definitely more complicated. but, i can say that it's not all sad: kanzaki and kaf will continue to make music that i love and hold close to my heart as i move into a proper adulthood and grow up, just like they taught me to do.

#kanzaki iori #kaf #kamitsubaki studio #kamitsubaki #kiki was here #kiki.txt

[the-sunshine-dragon]

So I sit tonight, another rejection for a job, after having gone through an interview and being told I would get a second interview, and after another conversation with my dad that leaves me feeling mixed over job hunting and where to go next. Throughout all of this, retail is brought up again, and boy oh boy is that a boatload of memories to discuss. One of the most traumatic, scarring events of my life comes from a certain three month period during the summer of 2020 that, even to this day, over two years later, still doesn’t feel like it’s scarred over all the way. 

Several weeks late, I finally sit down and watch the mv for Chill, something that I had been avoiding because I felt like I would end up crying while watching it. And sure enough, I did, but not because of the mv itself, but rather the lyrics. 

It struck me that, why is it in certain instances where people have dealt us significant damage, mentally and emotionally (and physically, perhaps), it hurts when paths cross again and there’s not even a glint of recognition in their eyes? Why does being forgotten by someone who’s left us scarred make us upset and angry? It’s as if we expect them to remember us, to remember that they were the one that left us with the scars and the damage. 

But here’s the thing. People can be incredibly damaging and people don’t always know the damage that they’ve done. The people that were responsible for what they did to me, for the psychological hurt, the anxiety attacks that lasted for months afterwards, the fear that I would see their faces again, they don’t know that. The day I left that workplace, I no longer mattered to them. I was simply another lost hire that was easily replaceable, if they wanted to replace me. I don’t doubt they were aware of what they were doing, two people in particular. In fact, I know they knew. But what they were doing had become so commonplace, so normal, that to think otherwise wasn’t something that happened often. It’s the damage they did that gets hidden underneath everything else, other worries, easily shoved to the side until you get space to breathe and realize. 

Chill discusses forgetting one another. Hurting each other, arguing, knowing things aren’t going to work out. That facing up to the fact that things just aren’t going to work out and that it’s time to go separate ways. The lyrics are quite cold, perhaps a tad angry, but they also seem to lay bare an honest truth that often isn’t when it comes to relationships that just don’t work out: the honest truth of forgetting and, perhaps implying, that it is okay to forget. 

There are things that are forgotten, things remembered, and memories we just won’t escape no matter what. But there is also nothing wrong with forgetting those that have harmed you, to cast that off on the side of the road and keep on walking, like they did you. 

Yes, I will forever have those three months of my life burned in my memory (I do not forget things easily, a fact that just is, anyone who knows me closely will tell you that). I had an experience that will leave my viewing of people, of people in authority, forever tainted, forever a bit suspicious. However. However. Those memories are fading, at the very least losing their colour. Slowly. It hurt the first time I walked into that store after almost six months and not seeing a flicker of recognition in one of the manager’s eyes (in truth, though, it was relieving, because what would I have said if I had been recognized? “Screw you for ruining my life”? I doubt my tongue would have loosened itself to let any words out, even if I had been given the opportunity to speak). But now, tonight, in this moment, I think forgetting and letting it go is, perhaps, for the better. Letting those memories and those people freeze over in my mind and be forgotten, buried and put to rest. 

Chill out. Forget it. Go your separate ways. 

#sunny's late night thoughts

[morkofday]

BL Tag Game

thank you for tagging me my beloved mor @liyazaki ♥ i did this once with my friend kiddo bc we like to do these tag games privately amongst ourselves but nice to finally do this “properly” ^^ also taking some of your newly phrased questions and possibly making some of my own~

look at the original list of questions on mor’s post bc am too lazy to include them  

tagging: @namchyoon​ @talaypuens​ @snimeat​ @icouldhyperfixatehim​ @hils79​ @nongnaos​ @basvpr​ @machikeita​ no pressure as always and if you’ve already done this recently, link me!

placing under a cut bc there are sooo many gifs, am sorry!

current favorite bl character and why let’s make it known that there will never ever be a character like pran for me but bc bad buddy, sadly enough, isn’t airing anymore and is now kind of gone (oh we wish, the brainrot never leaves), i decided to take someone else. and that must be fah from sky in your heart. i was absolutely enamored by him from the moment i first saw him in star in my mind until the last second of the star and sky special ep. he is my man, my bean, my blorbo. i wish there had been more time and space for him to get explored more as a character bc i feel like mek poured everything he had in him into acting as fah but this is all i got and i need to survive. so all i can say is that i am happy to know that he is now learning about love and how it can belong into his life even if he does what he feels is his calling ♥ 

mek jirakit the man that you are... dreamy sigh 

one character from a bl you wanted to punt in to the stratosphere was trying very hard to think about the bls i’ve watched lately and pick someone from there but have to say that it takes a lot to annoy me these days, outside of the character being just one of the bad guys in the drama. but i do want to mention sing from triage who i wish would’ve gotten over his petulancy to talk about his own feelings for gap and would’ve made it known since the beginning that he actually cared. and theother one would be in from my dear loser: edge of 17/our skyy who i do find kind of funny to watch but who deserved a beating for being one of those guys who refuses to be called gay and then hurts the person they care about. i dunno if he’s been redeemed but my guy, grow a spine. sun deserves way better if you don’t. 

what we should’ve gotten more bc i knew sing was a damn softie 

boy is having not so straight realizations about himself and i am cackling in the corner, serves you right you moron

best music moment from a bl i’ve truly been appreciating some of the music in bls lately, probably bc the music has gotten better in general. once upon a time bls didn’t care about their title songs or anything at all. everything sounded the damn same and i never got attached to any of it. bad buddy changed me and not me was a whole chapter of its own (hoping more bls would take such amazing liberties with the bg music). currently am obsessed with vice versa’s title song. but the best music moment lately has been the eclipse’s title song in the official trailer which somehow resembles the song safe and sound by clngr they used in the first trailer (i am very emotionally attached to this ok, am sorry). i have somewhat high hopes for that show’s soundtrack ngl :’D 

the kiss in the first trailer still gives me chills like. damn. this show is going to wreck my whole ass, i feel it

the mv for this is so stunning?? i love the song and the vibes so much 

a bl you'd like to see adapted into a musical this question is inspired by the fact that ohmnanon’s fanmeeting felt like bad buddy the musical. it was so cool. 10/10 would do that again. but then it had me thinking that dang some of the bls could really work as hsm type of musicals. my first picks after bad buddy would be the shipper (imagine the chaos?? the stuff they could do with the body swapping! the costumes for the angels!! give it to me) and enchanté (they could do a whole ass love songs montage and i would be over the moon. also the pining happening through songs!! am shaking screaming weeping on the floor). 

what legendary hsm song is this, i’d say can i have this dance (imagine akktheo slow dancing... maybe at their wedding sob)

a scene from a bl that always makes you laugh wow i feel like i just suddenly forgot what i’ve laughed at ever in my life other than the worst puns known to a man. but if i think back on some of the first bls i ever watched, i gotta say that in together with me, which i will forever think of fondly mind you, i will always laugh at the scene when in one of the first eps knock’s gf comes to visit his home and knock is trying to be a good bf and takes her around the market and bc he gets distracted by a phone call, he ends up grabbing korn’s hand instead of hers. his face is just so good when he walks hand in hand with who he thinks is his gf and then suddenly stands face to face with her and you can see the wheels turning inside his head while he tries to understand how it’s possible :’D 

(tried finding a gif of this but ppl have only focused on the sexy times so no luck lol)

biggest bl disappointment i try my best to get into bls without any expectations (and we ignore vice versa in this ok, that one is a black sheep and i don’t even understand why). but if i think about actual disappointments - and now i don’t mean shows i thought were actually just bad and scarred me for life - i gotta say he’s coming to me. i still remember when i got into it bc i was curious about the plot and was happy to see ohm in another bl (i did watch make it right ages ago and liked him in it). i was feeling strange about singto since the beginning but thought it wouldn’t bother me too much. but the fact is that it was very hard to see any chemistry between the two. there was just... something about them that never sat right with me. otherwise the series is amazing. it’s just sad that the main couple lacking that spark leaves it kind of plain :/ idk why the casting choices were like this at the time but obviously they were struggling to find a guy who could play a character coming from another timeline (not to have the ohmnanon goggles on but wish we had had nanon in 55:15 back then).

god i’ve really forgotten how Young ohm is in this?? like that is a literal baby, barely out of braces 

two random bl characters who would be besties oh dang, now that i started thinking about it, i kind of want to say talay form vice versa and sangwoo from semantic error. i spontaneusly binged semantic error the other day and i loved it a lot. sangwoo operating like a computer was very amusing to me and i feel like talay would click with him with his color theory brain. they could both whine about how nonsensical love is and how they absolutely do not need it while having adoring bfs at home haha. but i also feel like they both would understand how scary it is to fall in love in that type of situation and how hard it can be to let go of your heart, to allow it to feel. 

my beloved!! you will know love like nobody else, i swear

another beloved. just a tiny baby. fits inside my pocket. would probably swat at me and then hiss

the bl that got you into bl and would you make other ppl watch it now the bl that got me into bl or just the first bl i ever watched was this 2016 series grey rainbow. it’s a very short but angsty one and i cried my eyes out. dunno why i wanted to start with something like this but it’s probably good i did. at least i didn’t start with some high school nonsense straight away and instead eased my way into it. then, would i make other ppl watch it today? absolutely. am so happy kiddo watched this and liked it. i am very fond of this one even if i can barely remember anything else but my own heartbreak. 

best wardrobe moment/or character wardrobe from a bl i could mention everyone in not me but that feels like too much of a cliché. i could also mention pat and pran but i don’t truly dress like that myself. so i will once again settle on the absolute fashion icon that is khai in theory of love. he has the exact style i wish i could have for myself. i adore him so much. honorary mentions go to vegas and tay from kinnporsche the series bc i love them and i really wanna steal tay’s gender ♥

the epitome of if evil why sexy

he is so beautiful i want to eat my own arm

thank you if you read this far! sorry i went very off road with many of these. have a wonderful day everyone! ♥

#tag game #what can i say #i just love everyone a lot #also just bl musicals when i am waiting

[canyoureallygetlostinheaven]

wednesday characters as songs from my on repeat (spoilers!!)

enid sinclair - the loneliest time by carly rae jepsen ft. rufus wainwright

ok not only does this song fit enid, but i feel like she would also love it! it matches her bubbly & bright presence, and discusses repairing a previously broken relationship. i mean, enid and wednesday had “the loneliest time” being apart, both longing (maybe enid more outwardly) to reunite. it connects to the theme of wanting to try and repair something because such a strong bond exists - romantic or platonic. not to mention the moon being a huge symbol in the mv!

wednesday addams - ain’t it funny by danny brown

despite being one of the most developed characters, i had difficulty finding a song for wednesday. while there are some differences, like the song centering around drug addiction, it has the theme of self-destructive habits AND being aware of those habits. wednesday seems to be aware of how her comments can hurt others, but she is likely doing because she believes it’ll protect her emotionally. she’s got difficulty being vulnerable which i feel. of course, she also has many strengths, but out of the limited song choices i only really seemed to have one connecting to her weaknesses.

bianca barclay - girls on film by duran duran

i mean, she is a girl on film (very funny, i know i know). the song is about the mistreatment exploitation of models. bianca may not be a model, but she is judged unfairly and only valued by some for her looks. she even states that she never knows if people truly like her for her personality, as well as not being trusted due to her siren song ability. she is practically the definition of Misunderstood. set up to be the classic Popular Girl but ends up having depth and being a genuinely good person.

tyler galpin - tell me a joke by quadeca

man :( i am not necessarily a full fledged tyler apologist, but his arc was tough to watch. he had been neglected by his father, had vital information withheld from him, and then found someone who he thought cared about him but only used him to further her evil goals. i hope we get a redemption arc honestly. anyways, tmaj is about a ghost new to the afterlife, saying: “all i could hear were the crickets/funny the joke is on me.” the “joke” was on tyler, he was unknowingly being manipulated. i think this is one where listening to the song is really key to understand.

ms. thornhill/laurel gates - Psycho Killer by Talking Heads

mmmmmmmmmm [hatred]. this one seems almost too obvious, but the song was on my on repeat & i had to take the opportunity. the song is about the thoughts of a serial killer, and despite not doing the killing herself, thornhill definitely has that mentality. she feels no remorse killing outcasts & manipulating tyler. she is the true mastermind behind the resurrection plan. need i say more?

#wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #wednesday #wednesday spoilers #enid sinclair #tyler galpin #thornhill #bianca barclay #carly rae jepsen #danny brown #music #quadeca #talking heads #duran duran #Spotify

[cowboylikedean]

Do you think treacherous was about jake or harry? I used to think jake but doesn't make much sense to be about him anymore. Taylor said the first song she wrote was all too well which was fill ed with sadness(and rant). Her last song about him in that album(wanegbt) was petty. Clean(i think its j too with wine reference) sounded emotionally draining. All her songs about him had a touch of sadness something that's absent in treacherous. It also sounded optimistic about the future(something she didn't feel regarding jake). Even when taylor talked about it in http://tasteofcountry.com/taylor-swift-red-interview/ she was being hopeful. Also treacherous sounds like style 0.5 (midnight driving,sexual tension, wanting to say no but not being able to). It was also written in April (when she was falling for him). I know she said ikywt was also about the same person but she tried so hard to make trouble about harry( "when you saw me dancing, award speech, his love tattoo in mv etc.) I think liked the concept of before after thing in theory and since harry kissed that girl she made both about him. Also she always implied she saw him as her forever(twin flame,i used to think we were forever) but treacherous she knows she is gonna be hurt. (Sorry for the long post i had to organise my thoughts)

ikywt is not about harry. idk what has happened to the haylor fandom to make this the standard narrative (actually i do - it's messed up haylories trying so hard to make every song they possibly can about harry and literally it’s ridiculous and idiotic). the haylor fandom fought for years against this. the statement “ikwyt is about harry” was used by haylor haters (in both fandoms) to justify nasty and despicable behavior and words and we all fought for years for reason! ikywt is not a song written about a week long fling. the period of their relationship that was happening when it was written was after he ghosted her after cbbh and message in a bottle. i’m not sorry but like....... the raw and deep anger and pain of ikywt doesn’t come from “I had a crush who it looked like we were gonna date and then he ghosted me” it comes from “I had a relationship that was deeply toxic, painful, and scarring.”

both songs are about john.

#haylor #haylories #taylor #treacherous #ikwyt #john mayer

[wildernessuntothemselves]

OMG, I don't even know what to say anymore. My guess of gyu falsely framing taehyun was right but he killed his dad and brother. I never actually thought he would do that. I wanna go over each character separately for this chapter. Starting with,

Taehyun: GOD he's so frustrating. I thought dealing with gyu was hard but tyun is just something else. The whole wedding scene gave a second hand embarrassment. Because wtf, and when the the dead mom's wedding dress part came I was like,omg can it get any worse?! I was laughing so much through out this whole chapter at Tyun's antics. One moment he's sweet the next makes me want to scratch his beautiful face.

Kai: Honestly out of all the characters he might be my favorite. His character in the last chapter and this is contrasting. Oc might think he's confusing but honestly he's just trying to convince her to go back to gyu. Because for him the moment gyu managed to get his best friend to backstab him he's knows gyu is capable of doing worse. He fears for his brother and anyone in that position would too. I aslo blunt and straight forward he can get.

OC: the worst case scenario of starting a war is not tyun using her against beomgyu its actually her ending up dead. She should just say that to him that if he plans to execute his crazy plan then might as well get ready to lose her forever.

Gyu: He's very smart and sexy too. Love you 💋

Wonyoung: She surely is gyu's sister. Manipulation runs in their blood. But I like her too. Everyone deserves a sister like her(from gyu's pov because I can't say the same from Yeonjun's pov😰) because she's just as crazy as gyu. She's is agreeing to that crazy fucking plan of gyu. Also imagine ger going back to the palace and informing gyu of oc's state how she looks like survived zombie apocalypse,dinosaur extinction,the fucking bigbang.

Yeonjun: my beloved is dead. Considering how many times I've seen him dead in txt mvs it was really nothing out of normal. But that part in eternally mv kept replaying in my mind over and over again.

King: that's what he deserves.

Jaeyun: is he even alive?

Maid: can yall please dress oc up a little nicely ?!

Lords: yall can suck dick

I have more to say omg+

-🌶️

yes!!! you were right I was excited when you guessed that 😂

Taehyun: yeah our emotionally stunted lord is a dumbass and when he tries to make things better he ends up either making them worse or executing them in a ridiculous way 😂 but actually what the oc didn't understand, and so it wasn't explained in the chapter, is that tyun gave her his mother's dress because it was the only beautiful and expensive dress he had in his possession. taehyun doesn't keep anything he considers showy or wasteful so he only kept his mother's wedding dress for sentimental value and he wanted oc to feel beautiful on her wedding day but it just ended up backfiring :'D

Kai: ugghhhhh kai's character gave me such a headache because i was worried that the flip might come about too suddenly so i kept trying to build it up but i messed up by having him be too nice to her initially. in my mind it makes sense because he genuinely is a nice kid but he initially didn't even realize that gyu was insane so he was like yay my brother finally likes someone but when he looked up gyu he was like haha we're in danger and so he flipped. his flip will also make more sense in the next part (or next chapter?) when he reveals something. but anyway i'm so glad you get where he's coming from because he gave me such grief writing him 😭

OC: yeah and that's why he hasn't already launched the war and is only threatening it because he's afraid she'll get hurt in the crossfire so he's hoping she'd just come back. but to gyu if he has to give her up or start a war and risk it then he'll start a war because in the latter at least he has a chance of getting her back

Gyu: baby showing them what he's capable of. take that mr warlord

Wonyoung: from yeonjun pov 😂😂😂😂 and maybe gyu already knows that. it's not farfetched to think he has his own spies at the castle. jaeyun wasn't the only one

Yeonjun: very on brand for him to die lmao

Jaeyun: Yes he is and will make his comeback in the next part/chapter

maid: don't worry wonyoung got that in the bag

#ahhh i love this break down #when i'm writing i'm always like ohhh i wonder what the readers reactions will be to this part #and you delivered 😭 #thank you 😭 #fulfilling my needs as a writer 😭 #mort talks #yamqn #🌶️ anon

[bonvoyagenoona]

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

I love this question! I don’t know if I’m consistent there, but I am consistent in the way that I use characterizations as motifs for major life themes, and plot almost as moral to express thoughts about those themes.

I don’t know if that makes sense, but maybe I can take some fics and use them for context? Read on if you’re interested!

Plot First, Characters Second: Kittenfishing

An anon asked if Kittenfishing was always going to be Tae’s story. I wrote here that Kittenfishing is meant to be about vulnerability, and that each main character stands for some aspect of that vulnerability:

Tae = What / how much do I share of myself?

Yoongi = What stays / how do I stay the same?

Kitt = What / how much do I change?

And I knew it would be Tae because I see him as being so unafraid of being vulnerable and emotionally charged, as well as extremely giving with his time and emotions, evidenced by stories like his inability to reject a proposal to date because he didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings lol.

Other fics I think I’ve used this plot first/characters second approach with are Idol Hands (theme: depth of relationships, and why we make certain choices), Bear with Me (theme: platonic vs. romantic love, is there even a difference) and The Cul-de-Sac Cons (theme: commitment vs. independence, persona vs. real identity, and in both cases, is there even a clear boundary between the two), and -- interestingly -- because they’ve been inspired by scenes rather than ideas, or because they were requests that asked me to choose the members, many of my oneshots, like Haze, Unravel, Hold the Door, Clink, and Stressed and Pressed.

Characters First, Plot Second: Like Butter

I was inspired to write Like Butter when I saw Yoongi’s concept video and came up with the story in a Flash (teehee iykyk). I also gave myself the added challenge to write the entire fic in a week! That’s right, one chapter per day during the week of the Butter MV drop. The story was built around the characterizations that I saw (i.e., the desire to revisit Mean Kim Namjoon and Angsty Yoongi).

Other fics I think I’ve used this characters first/plot second approach with are Bon Voyage, Noona, A Weekend with Noona, In the Margins, and, actually, many Yoongi oneshots, like the three fics that make up my Yoongi series 3(0) for 30.

Y/N First: Matchmaker

As an offshoot of Characters First, Plot Second, I also often start with Y/N. There are so many things that I want to say about my own life experiences. With Matchmaker, I wanted to examine several themes:

Compatibility vs. love

How we establish relationships

How we can grow after meeting new people

Sexism in the tech industry (and any industry, really)

The tendency to intellectualize phenomena in order to understand it vs. going with what they feel / intuit about a situation (I am constantly doing both)

I had my Y/N fleshed out already, so it then became an exercise of assigning characters to each of these themes and then build the plot from there.

Other fics I think I’ve used this Y/N first approach with are Office Hours (my thoughts on academia), Hideaway (more thoughts on sexism in industry, as well as how love stays consistent/matures over time), Countermelody (my thoughts on how dreams can change and evolve, and how we change and evolve with them), and The Road to You (my thoughts on my love of writing, how writing has shaped every stage of my life, and how each of the boys stand for some kind of interpersonal tie-in to how my own relationships looked at each stage of my life).

...This was super long-winded again lol. But I got so excited! Thanks for playing!

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