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calliopecalling · 2 years

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QOTS Rewatch - Season 1 Retrospective

Before moving on to season 2, I want to take a look back at season 1 as a whole. Buckle up because this is going to be a long-ass post. Here’s what I’m gonna cover:

My Top 3 Episodes

My Top 5 Scenes

Season 1 Episodes Ranked

Teresa’s Journey

Jeresa, DUH

Top 3 Season 1 Episodes

This wasn’t actually that hard.

#3: 1x05, Un Alma. Un Mapa. Dos Futuros.

Let’s be honest, this one is in this position for purely superficial reasons. I just fucking love the hilarity that is James ogling Teresa in this episode. Like it makes me literally cackle, watching him trying not to be attracted to her and failing miserably. That, combined with her death glares at him, and then the actually narratively significant struggle in the car at the end of the party over watching the Birdman kill a man, combine to make this a real gem. This episode is almost the tipping point towards James irreversibly falling for Teresa (I think the honors for that go to 1x06) but I overall enjoy this episode more than 1x06 because of the humor and the “enemies” vibe between Teresa and James. What can I say… I love a good trope.

#2: 1x02, Cuarenta Minutos

My season 1 runner-up. For OBVIOUS reasons. The Jeresa meet-cute LMAO. Their first looks. First words. First life-or-death adventure. Like really they were thrown right into the deep end and their dynamic from the get-go here is absolutely electric. Epic scenes like Teresa swallowing the coke packets, the car struggle, puking the coke packets back up. Great pacing, great narrative tension, great acting. Teresa-centric but really making things interesting by introducing James. We get some great Camila/Epifanio repartee. Really could be my number 1 except that my number 1 is all of those things but just even better...

#1: 1x03, Estrategia de Entrada

This is my favorite season 1 episode. It’s the first one in which Teresa’s not just furiously surviving, if that makes sense--we start to see her business instincts, not just her survival instincts. It’s a classic Jeresa episode, showcasing them at their early best with multiple amazing scenes (warehouse staring contest; Sam’s Club; Lopez and the counterfeit money). It’s got a great soundtrack. And it’s well-balanced: mostly Teresa-focused, with lots of James, and the Camila scenes don’t drag. Really an amazing episode. Not a single complaint, not a single misstep. A pleasure to watch and rewatch.

Top 5 Season 1 Scenes

Look this is really impossible to do. Rank my top five of ALL the scenes in the season. And my answer might be different in a month than it is today. But today, when I look back through all my recap posts, these five were the ones that gave me the biggest jolt of FUCK YEAH.

#5:

The scene: 1x07, Teresa’s stare-down with Camila after she gets back to the warehouse with the medicine for the sick girl. “I just don’t wanna have to worry about you. Do I have to worry about you Teresa?”

What I love about it: Teresa’s epic cool. Camila’s thinly veiled anxiety. James watching the whole thing, and as a viewer, knowing he’s already a goner for Teresa.

#4:

The scene: 1x03, Teresa’s staring contest with James in the warehouse when she thanks him for upgrading her from the floor to a cot.

What I love about it: The stare that is waaaay too long to be appropriate. Teresa’s epic cool (again). James grabbing her (any excuse to touch his wife amiright) to give her advice but the electricity btw them being so obvious it’s practically visible.

#3:

The scene: 1x06, the drive to the parking garage to pick up the shipment, when Teresa and James fight over the radio dials and then James shares the cave metaphor.

What I love about it: WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE. The bickering. James’s nervous ticks. James revealing the permanent darkness he lives in, not realizing he’s just shown his hand to Teresa in a way that is about to turn his life upside down. Teresa’s epic cool (again).

#2:

The scene: 1x04, “You are trouble.”

What I love about it: The red glowiness. How pretty they both are. James’s posturing. Teresa’s epic cool (again).

#1:

The scene: 1x10, James’s conversation with Brenda and his stand-off with Brenda’s number 2 and 3.

What I love about it: Literally everything. It doesn’t even include Teresa (so I’m shocked it’s my favorite of the season) but it’s all ABOUT Teresa, so. Technically this is more than one scene (the final bit of James in the motel with the two guys, when Teresa finally calls him and he looks embarrassingly relieved) is at the end of the episode. But I just love James’s whole mood; the way Brenda calls his bluff; how talking to Brenda gives him just a little glimpse at a side of Teresa he doesn’t know; how the two guys are all BIIIIITCH. I could just watch this whole bit unfold over and over. And all of it is because James is having a whole meltdown about Teresa running away. And she’s delightfully oblivious.

What’s funny is how many of these are me being obsessed with how cool Teresa is. Lmao. I guess I’m predictable.

Season 1 Episodes Ranked

1x03

1x02

1x05

1x10

1x01

1x06

1x08

1x09

1x04

1x13

1x07

1x11

1x12

Teresa’s Journey

Obviously the series opens with Teresa as a full-on drug lord, running the largest drug empire in the western hemisphere, and so we know that’s where we’re headed as soon as we begin. And then in the first few episodes of this first season, we’re introduced to a Teresa who is just, so compelling. Someone we fall in love with because she’s strong and smart and good. And as we’re falling in love with her we also know, in the back of our minds, that she’s going to go down this dark path, that she’s going to lose scruples over time, that she’s going to be dangerous and, via her business, responsible for a lot of pain in the world. It’s an interesting dilemma because we’re also clearly meant to be invested in her and root for her. I remember the first time I watched this and feeling so curious how they would resolve this problem, the problem of rooting for the antihero. How they would sell us on her descent into moral corruption.

Well, it happens slowly, and we see in this season just the very beginning of those compromises start to happen as a result of trauma, relentless trauma, and a desperate will to survive. In the first half of the season she’s really just trying with all her might to get out. Even in episode 1x08, when she kills John Terris, she tried to let him go first and ultimately had to shoot him in self-defense. She subsequently risks everything, including her life, to save the hotel maid who could have identified her to police. It’s really not until she loses Brenda in the final moments of the episode that she is able to truly get into the driver’s seat of her own queenpin journey. (I argued this in my 1x13 recap too.) That’s when she takes the gun and shoots down El Limpiador--out of revenge. The cumulative affects of having killed Gato, gained Pote’s allegiance, lost Brenda, and killed El Limpiador are in my opinion the major drivers of her first step towards the top of the drug business.

But in some ways she was making incremental decisions all along the way that started orienting her in that direction:

She volunteered herself as a drug mule to Camila, in order to avoid being made a sex slave.

She asked to go with James to the meet with Lopez and then chose to speak up about the counterfeit money.

She walked away from the handcuffed man at Birdman’s party.

She held the maid hostage--of course this was her assignment, so it’s not really something she chose, but she clearly had to sell a piece of her soul to carry it out.

She shot Terris which, yes, it was self-defense, but borderline.

She shot Gato which, again, totally self-defense… AND revenge.

Looking at this list it’s like, you can’t judge her for any of this. All of these things were done in order to survive. Whether because someone was ordering her to do it, or because her own life was directly at stake, her choice in each of these situations (or at least, her choice as she understood it) was between the moral compromise and her own survival. It’s just that, because of her circumstances, her choices continually narrowed until it felt clear to her that, as James told her in 1x05, the only way out was up. So, finally, in the season finale, we have a Teresa who has resigned herself to no longer trying to run away and who instead is leveraging the limited power she has to gain a foothold in the business. Every attempt she’d made to run failed epically. The last one resulted in the death of her best friend. So, getting out of the business was at direct odds with surviving.

This season, the compromises were relatively forced, but as the seasons go on and the stakes grow higher for her, the compromises get harder and harder to watch. But the seeds were definitely planted here in this season, and she’s now taken the first small steps towards losing sight of what “survival” actually means. It’s just that in this season, you still have complete sympathy for why. Each season those compromises become harder and harder to stomach, almost without you noticing. That’s part of what makes her story, and her character’s journey, so remarkable.

Jeresa

I’ve written a lot in my recap posts, and in two meta posts earlier this year, about the evolution of Jeresa over the course of this season. But I mean, obviously that relationship is at the heart of the show. James falls in love with Teresa for the same reasons we as viewers are invested in her, and it’s through his eyes and his journey that we understand exactly how powerful she is as a character. When he meets her, he is totally unprepared for the impact she will have on his life. I’ve said this in other posts but she really manages to find a crack in his countenance and wedge a toe in it until it slooooowly widens and eventually breaks open. All without even realizing she’s doing it. That’s the best part. She’s largely oblivious. Or at least, uninvested. I think by 1x05 she’s somewhat aware there’s energy there. But he--well. He has the truly most epic character arc this season.

If I had to pinpoint the evolution of his feelings for Teresa and the impact they have on him, I would probably say that at first he’s disconcerted by her and impressed, which results in him doing this weird posturing around her, trying to impress her while trying to still act as though me? I don’t care. But even while he’s trying to act like he doesn’t care, he still has room to respect her, as evidenced in the counterfeit money situation. I don’t think he really realized he was drawn to her in any special way until the party at Birdman’s, though. By then, Camila had ordered him to get close to her, so his taking her under his wing until then was not because of his own attraction (at least, that’s what he could tell himself). But his ridiculous flirting, with her and in front of her, in that episode really makes it apparent (to him, too) that yeah… he’s attracted to her. And he’s enjoying being attracted to her.

But it’s the next day, when Teresa goes back for him after the DEA bust in downtown Dallas, that what probably seemed like, ok, this is relatively harmless attraction, started to take on a deeper layer. On their way to meet that shipment, James told her the deeply personal “you learn to live in the dark, because you’re in it every time you close your eyes.” I don’t think he even intentionally shared that with her. Like I don’t think that was orchestrated. I think he just… felt compelled to open up to her, to get closer to her. And then she went back for him and threw his cave metaphor back in his face. I already wrote this in my recap of that episode but to me that is clearly the moment he last the battle against the developing feelings. He spent the next several episodes trying to pretend to himself as if none of that had any significance whatsoever, no, definitely not. Until finally surrendering to it in episode 1x10, when he lied to Camila about the maid to cover for Teresa. That’s THE moment, in my opinion, that James had to acknowledge to himself that he was in over his head.

And I noticed, too, that despite the fact he’d been gunning to kill Birdman all season, that when Camila finally said at the end of 1x10 that it was time to kill him, James looked conflicted. HE’S A CHANGED MAN. Suddenly he realizes he has scruples. Teresa’s influence already settling in. James will never again be that excited to kill someone… unless it’s someone who’s coming after Teresa, lol.

Meanwhile Teresa, as I said, is relatively uninvested in James this season. You can’t blame her; she’s just trying to survive. And he’s one of her captors. She doesn’t trust him, or at least doesn’t think she trusts him. I think by Birdman’s party she’s vaguely aware of his attentions but I really don’t think she’s at all ready to receive them or pay them any mind whatsoever. When she goes back for him after the DEA bust the next day, I don’t think it’s because she’s worried about him so much as it is because she wants to prove to him that helping each other--being “in it together”--is a better way of doing things than every man for himself. (And boy, does he take that and run with it…) Arguably James had been helping her from the beginning, but I don’t think he was self-aware about it. If anything, I think he tried to act like he wasn’t that type of person. (I mean, look at how, in 1x06, he yells at her “jump or die!” when they’re facing the DEA’s gunfire! And then he jumps first and doesn’t look back!) But when she goes back for him, that changes. She’s just not fully aware that that’s changed for him until he covers for her with the maid. That moment, at the end of episode 1x10, is her moment of recognition that there’s something deeper going on with him. That’s when the seed is planted for her that he’s someone she could potentially trust in a deeper way. I still don’t think she’s ready to think of it in terms of her own emotions, but I think she recognizes his, and that recognition helps her to understand him on a more personal level. While the rest of the season after that she spends trying to escape (so, clearly her mind wasn’t dwelling on any romantic possibilities, lol), this recognition sets the stage for early season 2 when she’s resigned herself to staying in the game.

WELL. I think that about covers what I have to say about season 1. Oh, also, as far as how James pronounces Teresa’s name: it’s consistent all season. The lazy American “r” ter-RAY-zuh. (Does James actually speak Spanish?! It’s a mystery…)

#queen of the south #qots #qots s1 #2021 rewatch #txt post #qots meta #season 1 retrospective #episode rankings

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to-come-alive · 3 years

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The Dizi Tag Game

Rules: Answer the questions and then tag people you want to participate! (Also tag it #The Dizi Tag Game so we can see everyone’s lists)

Tagged by: @thescorpioracer thank you!!

1. Your first dizi and how you discovered turkish dramas

Medcezir. It was back in 2014, I encountered this gif of yamira on the internet. After that I searched for other gifs and watched random scenes without subs (I didn't understand anything). Only in 2015 I decided to look for the show to watch with subs, and finally watched it.

2. Shows you're currently watching

I'm not watching anything right now. I'm giving a break from dizis, but I'll come back.

3. Your favorite genre of dizi (romcom, mafia show, contemporary drama, historical/fantasy, etc.)

Romcom. I love comedy and I love romance, so that's the perfect genre for me. But a show that has a cute pairing and a story that revolves around them it catches me. Drama is not my favorite genre bc I always lose excitement for the show after some time, but I tend to give it a try. I haven't tried any other genre, and I don't intend to.

4. The show you rewatched (parts of) the most

Medcezir. It's the first one, so it's the one I'm always coming back bc it's special. But Love 101 comes right after, it was the first dizi I watched after a long time, and it was in the beginning of the pandemic so it's kinda special to me too. It was like an awakening.

5. Favorite turkish actor and actress (feel free to pick multiples)

Serenay Sarıkaya, Çağatay Ulusoy, Hazar Ergüçlü, Demet Özdemir, Engin Öztürk, İpek Filiz Yazıcı, Kubilay Aka, Alperen Duymaz (although I haven't watched anything from him, every gif and video I see from his latest shows he's just funny and cute, maybe one day I'll watch something from him).

6. A show you quit before finishing

Kara Para Aşk, İçerde, Arıza (I tried but I have a problem with mafia shows). And Erkenci Kuş and Sen Çal Kapımı. One day I'll come back to EK, but SÇK I just can't anymore.

7. Favorite songs you have discovered in dizis

Bana Öyle Bakma from Teoman I discovered in Bana Sevmeyi Anlat; Kanatlarım var Ruhumda from Nil Karaibrahimgil, Isyan from Halil Sezai and Aşk Kırıntıları by Teoman I heard in Medcezir; Resmen Aşığım from Nil I know from SÇK.

8. The show whose plot disappointed you the most

Sen Çal Kapımı, after Serkan's memory loss I just couldn't continue. And Her Yerde Sen, everyone says they love this show but the way Demir handled their relationship problems by simply locking her up until she accepted listening to him was just toxic for me, and I just don't understand how nobody sees it. I just finished bc when I couldn't stand anymore it was the second to last ep already.

9. A show that was cancelled too soon/ran too long

Fortunately for me I never watched a dizi that was cancelled abruptly. As for the ones that ran too long, EK and SÇK. SÇK should have ended before all the memory loss thing.

10. Favorite characters

Mira (Medcezir); Sanem (EK); Sinan, Osman and Işık (Love 101).

11. Your favorite romantic pairings

Yamira (Medcezir), they don't do romantic scenes like theirs anymore, it's amazing the amount of times they make out in this dizi. Seriously. And they're so cute and good with each other, I love them; DicBar (Menajerimi Ara, I never watched this dizi but every gif and scene I see they're just perfect); Sinan and Işık (Love 101)

12. Favorite side characters

CeyCey (EK); Melo (SÇK); Mert and Eylül (Medcezir); Mühtar and Turan, only when he was with Mühtar (50m2)

13. Best kiss

It's Yamira's of course. It was hard to pick just one bc, like I said before, it's just too much making out. But after thinking about it, it has to be this one. They were both mad at each other so I was not expecting that kiss.

But there's another kiss I can't forget. Sinan and Işık are simply beautiful together.

14. An underrated show more people should watch

Love 101. I just feel that this show deserves more love than it has.

15. A show everyone loves that you aren't interested

Her Yerde Sen. I've already said my reasons, basically Demir was toxic and didn't respected Selin's choices. He treated her like a child at times, locking her up and not giving her time to digest the way he lied to her, and it bothered me, although she really behaved like a baby sometimes (which bothered me same). I couldn't ship them and sometimes I just watched bc of the side characters. Burak and Eylül were waaaay better together.

Other than that, I don't feel like watching Çukur, Hercai, Kiralık Aşk and many others. I have a friend who's watching KA and she's loving it, but I just don't feel it, you know.

16. A show you want to recomend right now

Medcezir. Just watch it if you like drama and romance. The first season is good but the second manages to make it better, especially the second half of it. Mira and Yaman's relationship just evolves to a new level, they trust each other and take care of each other, it's just beautiful (and most importantly, through most of the series they are together, they broke up twice in 77 eps, and the second time they spent like idk 10 ep apart, but when they get back together they don't separate anymore). And Serenay and Çağatay are just amazing in this dizi, they're great actors. And I recomend Love 101 too. It's funny, dramatic, romantic. The pace of the story is great, the relationships in this show evolve beautifully and we really get to root for the characters.

17. The next show on your list

The summer dizis: Cam Tavanlar, Baht Oyunu and Kazara Aşk. And I'm still waiting for Ada Masalı's teaser, but I'm planning on watching it.

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it! C'mon guys, it's fun!!

#wow this post just sounds like Medcezir propaganda #the dizi tag game #medcezir #love 101 #aşk 101 #her yerde sen

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hwiyoungslesbiangf · 2 years

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I was tagged by @braceletofteeth. tysm for tagging me <333

Rules: Tag 9 people you'd like to get to know better!

Favorite color: Purple !!!

Currently reading: I'm reading the Queen's Gambit !! I watched the show on Netflix months ago and decided to buy the book. Honestly? I really love it lol. I've read through it pretty quickly, although I'm not quite done yet. I like the writing style and the narration just moves so well. I never thought chess could be so interesting.

I must say though, I've been speed-reading it so that I could read Don Quixote lol. I love reading a lot but I don't find the time so often because I have soooo many other hobbies, but when I start reading a book and really like it, I'm glued to it.

I haven't read any fanfics in awhile just bc I haven't felt the urge to read them. I go through periods where fanfiction is just uninteresting to me. Mostly its because the one thing I want to read fanfiction for doesn't have anymore for me to read!! curse sf9s permanent nugu status.

Also started reading this Chinese bl novel? it reads a little weird because its a translation but I suppose it isn't too bad. not exactly interesting but just something to pass the time.

Last song: I believe it was Rush Hour by Monsta X. I love that song lol. Tbh I only really listen to Kpop, not much else. Thats just the kind of person I am tho!! Once I get into something I stick with it until I can't take it anymore. Last non-Kpop song I remember listening to is rises the moon by Liana Flores. It's very calming and I really adore her voice.

Last series: I've been watching adventure time lately. I enjoy kids cartoons a lot but the motivation to watch adventure time was bc of the lesbians lol <3 they're cute.

Last Kdrama I watched was probably a rewatch of SFH but I just started this ballet one on Netflix that I can't remember the name of. OH I also recently watched Tinted With You but I didn't finish it because I found it to be a little boring.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: SPICY!! I love spicy food sm. I'd have to put sweet and savory on equal levels bc I like them both!!

Currently working on: Hmmm. A few things! Some long term things I'm working on:

1. Finishing high school! I have one semester left and its kicking my ass.

2.My mental health! I have very severe depression and anxiety and I recently started going to therapy! I also started using anti-depressants and they've helped!!

3. My Kpop collections. I spend a ridiculous amount of money on Kpop merch because I'm collecting a lot of different groups!

My current photo card collections: OT9 SF9, 3 members of NCT, 1 member of Monsta X (and some ot5/6/7 sets bc they're cute), a few enhypen pcs, and 1 member from Seventeen!

Short term things:

1. Writing Fanfics. I'm working on one of the requests I was given and I'm having a lot of fun! I'm excited to do the other one as well! I'm also writing an sf9 fanfic bc im sooooo emo about the lack of sf9 fics on ao3.

2.Selling a bunch of extra Kpop stuff I've hoarded for like 2 years.

Post the first GIF when searching your name:

dfgsjdhfkdsgfdskhfh my bf <3

Favorite season: So. This is a little funny. I'm originally from Hawaii!! Which is of course pretty hot year round. However, my favorite season is actually winter! I have a hard time handling the heat. I get really bad migraines and I constantly get sick when I overheat and it just sucks. I now live in the southern US which is either HOT or mildly cold. We had a 30 degree day and the next day it was 75 out and humid as hell. I like winter bc its just waaaay more comfortable.

9 people to do this challenge: @bonbonpich @chhagiya @micahrose-mountainnose @srabaskerville @loveforseo @moonjosteeth

uhhhh I ran out of people to tag LOL I don't interact with that many people here T^T

These are some people that regularly like my posts! I know you are all just strangers on the internet, but in my little monkey brain you are all my friends bc you think I am funny sometimes <3

#tag game #this was fun !!#my computer had a conniption fit #so i had to copy and paste this to my phone <3

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katierosefun · 3 years

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Heyy, just wanted to say I LOVE your stories (and all you headcanons and tags hehe) I'm new here and wanted to ask how and when you started writing fanfiction for star wars and if you have any tips 😊

hello! thank you for the kind words :’) and of course, welcome!!

so if we want to get really technical about things, i started writing star wars fic like,,,,waaaay back in 2013, and i kinda cringe a little when i think of those fics now because lol i was thirteen years old then--and i wrote for a little while until maybe 2016-ish? and then took a break because of mental health things, and then got back into writing fic in the past year and a half or so!

as for the how, i wanted to write star wars fic mostly because as a thirteen year old, i was devastated by the season five finale (back then, that was when the show just got cancelled and the season five finale was the only series finale we were gonna get!), and i just kinda wanted to write all these stories about the tcw fam actually being happy. filling in the gaps and all. (lol considering how my gut reaction to the tcw season seven finale was also to write as much fic as possible, i can safely say that some things just don’t change.)

as for tips! i got a little into writing gen fic specifically here, but as for writing fic in general: (and under the cut because i,,,as usual, went off for a while.)

1. rewatch/reread source material! this is something i usually do when i’m trying to refresh my memory on a certain episode--i won’t watch through the whole thing, sometimes i’ll just kind of jump around, but i like to get some quick look back into the source stuff to put myself in the right headspace to explore how to extend/expand the story somehow.

of course, if you’re writing something that’s an AU then you don’t really have to worry about this, but!! rewatching the source can also just be super helpful when you’re trying to characterize properly/try to get a feel for what the characters’ voices are like.

2. wookiepedia is your best friend, but if you don’t have enough info on something, either search through fanon star wars meta or!! just make up something on your own! like, i cannot tell you the amount of times i’ve wanted to tear my hair out because i couldn’t find enough information on x or if i had to stop and be like “wait, but does star wars even have y??” sometimes, wookiepedia is helpful for providing those answers, and other times, blogs like @gffa really provides a big, broad look at all the stuff in star wars, and her blog kinda runs like wookiepedia itself, so i can guarantee that you’ll find some useful stuff if you’re ever kind of lost about what certain jedi customs/culture or in general, what different cultures were like in the galaxy far, far away.

but also, as i’ve mentioned, i think it’s okay to just kinda ignore the technical stuff and just make something up in star wars as you go along. you don’t like that glass in star wars is called transparisteel? then use glass. you’re not sure if star wars even celebrates the new year? screw it, why not? you’re the writer--you get creative license!

3. there is no such thing as “too much” of one trope. so, idk if you might struggle with this, but just in case you do--sometimes, fic writers will hit a wall and be like “no i can’t post this because so many people have already written about this/used this trope/etc.” to that, i say pffft, nah. there’s a post floating around here on tumblr about a cake analogy and how like,,,to you, you might have just brought another cake to a party with already so many cakes, and you might feel kinda embarrassed about that, but to the large majority of people? all they see is more cake, and who doesn’t love more cake?

what i’m basically trying to get at here is!! write whatever you want and don’t worry about if someone’s already done it, because everyone in fandom lives to see their favorite storylines expanded over and over and over again/everyone lives to see their favorite tropes used over and over and over again. fic is wonderful for that very reason, and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of enjoying that.

4. this might seem kinda trivial, but spellcheck and formatting is...mostly important. the unfortunate thing about fic is that sometimes people will click out the second they see a huge block of text like so:

“this is just a practice run,” i say as i start this paragrah. i don’t really know what i’m writing about but this is an example, and i know that this is probably going to look really, really ugly on the screen but here we go oh the things i do for explaining fic i already know that this has gone long enough but who is to stop me you know? wait no i haven’t made any spelling errors yet to prove my point so okay let me think of a common spelling error i can’t think of any right now but hm let’s see i will causally say that i have made a spelling error. oh look! i have made a spelling error (well, not a spelling error, more like a mix-up of words) because you can tell that instead of writing casually which would be more correct i wrote causally and those two are very different things. but there are other spelling errors that can sometimes be a turn-off for readers like when they notice that the k in kenobi isn’t capitilized and once or twice that’s all fine and most people will overlook that, but if you do that consistently then most people will be turned off and click into another fic and oh dear it seems that i am actually explaining things so i guess that means i should stop with this ugly paragraph and actually move forward. “move on!” i shout to myself now. (and just pretend that something like this continues for a good two or three pages.)

do you see how ugly that is? it’s an eye-strain to most people when they read, and you can write the most beautiful fic in the world, but if the formatting and the spelling is off, then most people will move to a different fic. (which is, again, unfortunate, especially for younger and newer writers, but! ‘tis a thing that comes with fic.)

5. have fun! don’t get yourself caught up with appealing to the crowd. write what you want to write first and foremost, because at the end of the day, it’s you who’s putting in the work and the effort to craft a story, and if you’re about to invest your time and energy into anything in your free time, then it should be something that brings you at least some joy and comfort. so go on and write, and keep writing if you enjoy it! no one can take that away from you.

hope that all helps!!

#answered #asdfdsf sorry for the essay but!!! i hope that was somewhat helpful!!#writing tips

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lilydalexf · 4 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with RivkaT

RivkaT has 28 stories at Gossamer and 270 stories at AO3, so she knows her way around fanfic and fandom. She's also a co-author of one of the most well-known X-Files fics of all time, Iolokus. I've recced that here before, along with some of my other favorites of her stories, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon and Into the Woods. Big thanks to RivkaT for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I think it's amazing! Writing styles have changed so much, along with everything else, that it's really nice to know they're still being visited. I tried to show my son the pilot episode, and it didn't move him at all, but it's good to know it's not forgotten.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I made a number of good friends, and had my first taste of bitter fandom battles. I made dumb mistakes and, I hope, learned a bit about navigating fandom spaces. My long-time writing partner MustangSally taught me that it was always worth blowing the budget in writing--go over the top if you want. I put that to good use in my next big fandom (Smallville).

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started on Usenet! Then mailing lists, and webrings, but mainly the Gossamer list.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

(1) Serials are different than works posted all at once, and have different strengths and weaknesses. (2) There are many ways to write a good fic, and somewhat fewer (but still a large number of) ways to write a bad one. (3) Most good fics are bad to some readers, and many bad fics are good to some readers, and that's okay. (4) Summaries can often instruct many readers how a work is meant to be perceived, especially if they already know you as a writer--the importance of authorial intent is clearly not dead and may be unkillable! (5) Fandom has awfulness and greatness in it because fans are people.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Dana Scully. Enough said! (Ok, it was Jose Chung's From Outer Space specifically, but Scully generally.)

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I mentioned to a friend that I was really into the show and she said that if I went online there were people writing stories about the characters. I knew about fanfic from childhood fannishness (Star Trek etc.) and so I went looking on this vaguely-understood thing, the internet. At the time I didn't have a computer that ran Windows so I logged onto Usenet at home and used Pine and Mosaic (an early search engine). When I wanted to see pictures I had to go to the computer lab at school.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

An ex where I don't have too much memory of the bitter and drawn-out breakup and just have vague nostalgia for the good times. Of course all that was about the show, not the fandom!

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

A bunch, including BTVS, Smallville, and Supernatural. I loved them all--my relationships with those fandoms were equally intense, but associated with different times in my life and therefore different availability of time and other resources. I wish I had that new-fandom love again, but right now it's just not happening for me, even though I've experimented.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Dana Scully, because she is Dana Scully: smart, driven, and good at her job, with occasional daddy issues. Subsequently, Lex Luthor, Olivia Dunham, Dean Winchester. I like characters who are driven by a sense of mission and who are really good at their jobs: competence porn!

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Not very often; I last did a rewatch about thirteen years ago.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I rarely revisit the XF, but I could definitely be persuaded. I read a fair amount across various fandoms now, but mostly it's dabbling.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Waaaay too many to mention. But if I had to choose: Jane Mortimer's The Sin Eater. Totally blew my mind about what fic could do. [Lilydale note: it really is a great fic!]

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I go through patches of love and hate for my own work. Right now I might pick my SPN/Smallville crossover Under Darkening Skies because I had fun with the character voices and I got at least one great set piece out of it (mannequins in a hell dimension).

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It seems unlikely but I have learned never to say never.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

For the past few years it's mostly been Yuletide, but I'd love to get back into it more if I can be inspired.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have no idea! Usually it was something that bugged me about an episode, or a chance to play with a classic trope, or a random news story that would spark an idea.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Not much of one--it's a variant of my nickname that was available on AOL and I managed to snag it on most platforms fans use, which has been lucky!

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Most of my friends are fannish and know everything; my family knows generally but basically doesn't want to know specifics, which is fine with me.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Archive of Our Own.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Dana Scully Forever!

(Posted by Lilydale on August 18, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #rivkat #xf fanfic author interviews

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eg515 · 2 years

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A TV Show Update Nobody Asked For

okay, so with only two months left of this year, I thought I'd make a list of where I am with my current tv shows and what I have planned for the rest of the year. this is mostly for me, to help me keep track, but I also accept recommendations. not including the shows I watch weekly.

Revenge: I've been on this rewatch waaaay too long, but only 12 episodes are left. I fully plan on finishing it this year, hopefully even this month. it was fun to rewatch it.

Elementary: I've been stuck on early s2 of my rewatch for way too long, longer than Revenge. I can't help it, I never liked Mycroft. I plan on watching it, but I'll probably restart it. s1 is my favourite anyway. but it probably won't happen this year.

Being Human: I've been stuck on s2 for a long time, but it just got so boring. the whole thing with the vampires restructuring their hierarchy, Annie appearing and disappearing to humans all the time, and George's werewolf girlfriend whose name I can't remember, these were all storylines I didn't like and watching the show became hard. I might continue at some point, but it won't happen this year.

911 Lone Star: I'm planning a full rewatch before s3 starts in January. right now the plan is December. the exact time will depend on my schedule.

911: I want to rewatch this too, but I might wait until either the mid-season break or until after s5.

Ted Lasso: it's been on my watchlist for a while, and I will definitely watch it sometime during the next two months.

The Librarians: it's been on my watchlist for YEARS. so many years. it's definitely my next big watch. I expect it to go the same way as Leverage: it will take me a long time to start, but once I do, I won't stop.

Nikita: it's been on my watchlist for years too. I keep seeing more and more of it on my dash, so this one depends on when I will get to the point where my bi ass can't take it anymore and I give in

Succession: new item on my watchlist. I keep seeing a lot of gifs, I'll probably start it at some point.

Berlin Station: s1 done, two seasons left. but s1 was quite heavy, so I'll need to be in the right headspace. I expect I can watch s2 this year, s3 probably early next year.

Money Heist: after a long time, I finished s1 and 2 this year and started s3. s3 is unexpectedly boring though, and I stopped after a few episodes. I currently don't have any plans to watch it, I abandoned it, but mom plans on watching it, I might watch it with her.

Teen Wolf: I've been thinking about rewatching it all year, so it's only a matter of time before I say "fuck it" and binge all 6 seasons.

The Romeo Section: it's a new find, I'll start it as soon as it fully downloads.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I've been meaning to watch it for a while. it's only a matter of finding it in good quality.

Imposters: definitely rewatching in the near future. I miss my idiots.

Liar: I should finish s2, but I would need to rewatch s1 too. probably won't do it this year though, but Q1 next year is likely.

LA's Finest: I plan to rewatch next year.

Mindhunter: I started once, got halfway through ep one, had to stop, never restarted again. idk, I'm losing interest, but if anyone recommends it, I might watch it.

Mr Robot: I started it like... three times? never got past s2. maybe this time I will?

Pushing Daisies: I've wanted to watch this for so long, ever since I saw it on tv. I have it downloaded and ready to watch, I just need one final push.

You Me Her: I've had it downloaded for over a year, but probably won't watch it until next year.

Sense8: definitely rewatching, but probably only next year.

Leverage/Leverage: Redemption: rewatching next year for sure.

okay, this a very long list 😂 oh well.

still taking recommendations though 😂😂

#tv show update #an update literally nobody asked for #eg rambles

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creativityobsessed · 3 years

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Be Brave Adachi, or the musical shaping of episodes 1-4

Part 4: Episode 4

This is part of a 4 part series. You may wish to start with part 1, where I introduced the main musical cue we’ll be following and how it represents Adachi questioning the world as he knew it. Or, if you missed part 2, or part 3, you might want to start there.

If you would like to follow along, please cue up 13:15 in episode 4.*

HOO BOY does everything happen in Episode 4! I swear every time I went back to rewatch to check something I noticed 2 more things that were worth mentioning. Go get your drink of choice, we’re gonna be here a while.

Since we have so much to talk about, and there’s not much new going on, I’m going to gloss over the 1.5 rotations of Questioning that happen right after Adachi gets off the phone with Tsuge. Y’all probably recognize it by now, right? Right.

The really interesting new stuff in this episode starts after Kurosawa rescues Adachi and Fujisaki, while they’re walking back to the office. Here, for the first time in full since episode 1, we get a repeat of the guitar music that I called Adachi-at-home in the first post in this series. Now, I’m gonna have to make a slight retraction because a) I didn’t know yet that this was gonna be important later, and b) it’s more interesting than I originally thought. So, to add some nuance, this guitar cue is not just Adachi when he’s on his own, fully relaxed, it’s that plus Adachi ruminating on how he doesn’t compare to Kurosawa. In the first case, he’s wishing for just one of Kurosawa’s good qualities. Here, he’s pointing out that they are “fundamentally different” with overtones of I am fundamentally worse than he is. The super interesting thing that I missed the first time around though is that this is the tune of the Home section. Sure it’s in C-sharp major (ish) rather than A major (not exactly a related key, but not an unrelated key either, at least if you ask Brahms^), but the melody is the same enough that I DEFINITELY should have caught that. What can I say, *shrug* pandemic brain.

So, anyways, given what I have since discovered about this guitar cue, I’d like to revise what I think it’s about - it’s about Adachi’s unacknowledged crush on Kurosawa. He still doesn’t realize yet that Kurosawa is something he wants, but moments like these show us just how much he wants it.

Around 16:15, at the end of Fujisaki’s internal monologue in the elevator, Questioning comes in. This time, though, it’s not about Kurosawa in the slightest. When I was first trying to come up with a point to this series so my Intro to Musicology professor wouldn’t hunt me down for writing a “here’s some stuff” paper, I was all ready to say Kurosawa is the answer and call it a day. But if that’s the case, then why does Questioning start here? Sure, he just found out that Fujisaki knows about Kurosawa’s crush, but the worldview that he’s questioning isn’t that Fujisaki is more observant than he thought. It’s his reaction to her disinterest in relationships. Furthermore, this version of Questioning is far more stable than previous ones - instead of a tritone or other non-chord set of vertically stacked pitches, most of the Question phrases end on unison D, or some version of D + F-sharp (usually in the m6 orientation, rather than M3). Each Question phrase is approximately in time, or at least close enough that we have a sense of when the next will happen, where in the first few versions of Questioning the space between each phrase rotation felt indeterminate. I think what we’re seeing here is that even though Adachi still has questions, his life has already changed. He has a better sense of the people around him, and is less terrified of asking questions.

The Questioning section actually pauses when Kurosawa notices Adachi’s wound, and we don’t head into the next section immediately. In fact, we don’t ever get the next section here - we jump straight to Home, as Adachi starts back in on how much better Kurosawa is than him. It’s in the piano here, I think mostly so that they don’t have to change instrumentation midway through (we’ll see why in a second). This version of Home is the same slow tempo as the guitar version, and it’s very dry. All of the harmony is in block chords, which contributes to a kind of emptiness. But that’s ok because it doesn’t last.

After a single (musical) sentence, Adachi begins to hear Kurosawa’s own self-loathing through his thoughts. As this happens, the chords that were once in blocks stretch out into arpeggios, filling in the spaces around the melody, in a move that reminds me so much of the way that letting go of a bit of anxiety can feel like unfurling from a tiny space.** Kurosawa’s “I’m sure he finds me annoying” is immediately followed by the addition of a cello line - and I’m about to go do some rewatching looking for where cello is important, but my first impression hypothesis is that cello represents Kurosawa’s inner headspace, particularly after some of the ways I noticed it being used in ep. 7. The cello twines around the piano line that we’re already familiar with, possibly as a metaphor for the way that Adachi and Kurosawa are having similar thoughts. And, as with earlier episodes, we end without a full resolution - we get a cadence, sort of, but the piano continues for a bit and ends with a cluster of notes with G as the main thing that catches our ear. For those unfamiliar, G is not a particularly tonic-feeling note in A major. It’s flat 7, which helps tremendously in feeling like we are NOT in major, better suited to the melancholy nature of the various thoughts flying around here.

And then. Ok, and THEN. The part I have been writing this entire series to talk about. So, to set the scene, right? Adachi thanks Kurosawa, Kurosawa deflects but gives Adachi a direct, blinding smile, and for once Adachi doesn’t squint. He returns the smile. He has become comfortable here.

As if that weren’t enough, the music comes in, and yes, we’re back to Questioning, but it is absolutely in time, with two beats of 6/8 between each iteration of the Question Phrase. Furthermore, this version has both guitar and glockenspiel in it - the guitar is Adachi’s home instrument, and here it suggests he’s become comfortable with questioning the world around him, while the glock does more to highlight the difference in the treatment of time.

We don’t move on from this section for a bit, because Fujisaki interrupts his thoughts. We do, however, get hints of the next section - a rising line in the piano timed in the same way as the next section will start, for example. The underpinnings of the Questioning section provide a lush background for Adachi’s monologue on visiting Fujisaki’s mother, something the first version of Questioning could not have done. Adachi is being very brave here, and the changes to our favorite cue are a reflection of that.

As he finishes we head in to the section of the piece, which is mostly accompanying shots of Fujisaki being overwhelmed, Adachi being worried that his attempt to be brave has gone wrong, and not much happening. There’s a weird loop in the middle, which makes me think that they tried it with the whole track and it felt waaaay too long without anything happening.

Anyway, after she reassures him that his bravery is appreciated, we head into the Answer section. Adachi and Fujisaki’s chitchat isn’t what’s important here. The important thing is we have the Answer section, and here it is fully scored, electric guitar and bass, percussion, the works. Not only that, but the cue ends, and it ENDS ON THE TONIC. We did it folks! We found the resolution! And it turns out, the way to get there was to BE BRAVE.

This may not be the end of the whole series, but this is AN ending. This is the pan-out that we get at the end of every 90s Hollywood teen romcom. Adachi has Learned Something with capital letters, and it’s not that he loves Kurosawa or even that he needs to give up his low self-esteem. It’s that he can be brave, and he can contribute. It’s hard, and it may take four episodes of building to it, but he can do it.

Which is a lesson he’s really gonna need for the beginning of 5. But that’s a story for another time.

If you’ve followed my nerdery this far and you’ve enjoyed this series, please let me know via likes, replies, and/or reblogs. I may eventually continue the series if there’s enough interest (there’s some FASCINATING things that happen to this cue in episode 7, for example), but for now, I’m gonna go take a nap.

I did a follow up in response to an ask, if you really really want more.

*All video timings and quotes are from Irozuku Subs videos. If you’re watching somewhere else, your mileage may vary slightly.

^If you’re a SUPER HARD CORE theory nerd, look up Neo-Riemannian Theory for how this works. Or just if you want your brain to explode. Either way, have fun, cause I need it for my dissertation and I STILL don’t quite understand how it works.

**Not an Academically Approved metaphor. This is why I’m doing this on tumblr.

#cherry magic #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#adachi kiyoshi #music meta #For anyone who's actually read ALL OF THIS #thank you very seriously from the bottom of my heart #in case you were curious the google doc ended up 8 pages long #it would probably be more if I felt up for editing more #anyway really seriously thanks for putting up with my weirdo music theory nerd vibes CM fandom #I appreciate it

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yossariandawn · 4 years

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fanfic asks: 1, 4, 6, 9, 15, 20, 50, & 51!!

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? Honestly, FDTD is the first fandom I’ve done anything approaching real involvement in! I was a long time lurker of many different fandoms, but this one is where I actually made accounts on the different platforms for myself, created stuff past a one off here or there (that mostly never saw the light of day lol) and actually interacted and even made friends in! However, if we are going for the first fandom I discovered, that would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms? Since I’m only counting this one, nope! Though I will admit, several months ago I did start to see some of the rude or even nasty stuff that is scattered throughout probably all fandoms, directed at real people, normally over characters or ships. And I did make me think real hard about how much time I was putting into this, and whether it was something I wanted to continue to be a part of, even if it is pretty rare overall here. I decided to stick around, and I’m glad I did, but I definitely am trying to be much more conscious with disagreeing publicly when it comes across my dash.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in. FDTD SethKate. Shoot, the only other kind of involvement in fandoms that I have OTPs in are Falling Skies Hal/Maggie. The Punisher’s Frank/Karen probably get in on just a technicality, since as much as I love them together, I could see them being happy with other people, but ONLY AFTER the events of the show and the impact they had on each other. I did make some vid requests waaaay back in the day for Life With Derek vids, since I couldn’t make any myself at the time! Here is one I found, but it’s not great quality anymore for some reason, and isn’t shippy, lol It’s Casey and her supportive therapist Paul, which is something I loved (VERY MUCH IN A NON ROMANTIC WAY) And I shipped Derek/Casey pretty hard, but I’m not sure they really reach OTP levels. And a fandom I am very much not in does hold the only other OTP slot I currently have (General Hospital’s Jason/Sam) which I talk about for question 20. The truth is I’m not really normally an OTPer, most shows I watch I couldn’t care less about the ships by themselves as long as I think everyone is acting in character and in interesting ways. Which is a prerequisite for me liking a show in the first place, so 🤷‍♀️

9. What are the best things about your current fandom? The people and the talent. AND THE SHOW, which I adore, for all its faults! But the people have really made this into something special.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love? Hal/Maggie from Falling Skies probably qualifies for obscure, as there is shockingly little stuff for my favorite badass alien invasion resistance fighters duo.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking? OK, so this one may also count as obscure, they have a big presence on youtube but basically nothing on tumblr. Jasam aka Jason Morgan/Sam McCall from General Hospital. I don’t watch soaps as a general rule (not knocking them, by any means, they just rarely have stuff I am interested in, and the nature of the format makes it hard for me to stay invested) and when I first got cable I started catching glimpses of the late night reruns on the SOAP Network of some of the weirder ones, like Passions (haha thanks Spike for referencing it enough to catch my interest) and Port Charles, General Hospital’s confusingly related (but not really?) spinoff show. And then one day I noticed one of the Port Charles actresses (Sam!) was now on one of the big deal soaps, but was playing a different character! IN THE SAME TOWN?! but during the day, with less/no vampires and more/all mob antics. ANYWAY, end result is I got increasingly sucked into her storyline, and THEN THE JASAM STUFF HAPPENED, which it was so my kind of thing it’s not even funny. PARTNERS! IN CRIME! AND IN LOVE! BADASS SOFTNESS AND TRUST AND PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND PROTECT EACH OTHER AND THEN REALIZE WHOOPS WE’RE IN LOVE OH NO WHAT WILL WE DO. And the downside of loving a soap opera character or pairing is you just have to accept the fact that at some point they will become completely UNRECOGNIZABLE, either through characterization or actual recasting. 🤣 So while I did stop watching after the god awful “Sam sleeps with her stepdad and Jason has a secret love child” arc, I did tune back in for both their Mexico Road Trip Reunion and their (First) Wedding! And I still rewatch their 2004-early 2006 storylines on youtube, and I will always scan the supermarket soap mags for little glimpses into how things are going for them, which seems to be pretty well actually! They are definitely a real Legacy Couple now, and Jason the Original is apparently back too, which is nice.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction? Spuffy 😂. I don’t know how I found the first fanfic I read (other than clearly way to much free access to the internet) There’s a chance I was watching fanvids first, which led into finding out about fics. AND IN MY DAY THERE WAS NO YOUTUBE, so fanvids were much harder to find! RIP Buffyverse Database (i think that’s what it was called lol) But Spike was my favorite character on Buffy, and I fell so hard in love with the IDEA of Buffy and Spike having a romantic connection and acting on it, right up until it started actually happening in Season 6. It was a wild ride for twelve year old me, but I learned a ton about what kind of things I like in relationships, and want kind of things I VERY MUCH DO NOT LIKE. And for anyone who likes Spuffy, this is completely a personal preference, not a dig at the couple. I do understand the appeal, it’s just didn’t end up being what I wanted it to be.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go! Ok, so this is a bit of advice with some rant mixed in! If you send anon stuff to a writer, please remember you are talking to a real person, and someone who has put themselves out there in some way enough for you to comment on. If you choose to go anon, the very fact of your anonymity means that the only information they will have are the contents of that one message you’ve sent, and that you’ve chosen to not take the risk of putting yourself out there in the same way the person receiving the message has. And if all you are sending in that message is a correction, or disagreement, or (in more extreme cases) even an attempt to police your fandom by telling someone else that they are participating wrong (meaning not in a way you agree with) then your message? May not be given the good faith extended to people who DO put themselves out there, however imperfectly they do it. Good and effective communication is so hard, I really understand, and it’s a skill that all of us are still learning and sometimes failing at. I’ve been really impressed by how I’ve seen people handle messages I know I would not have been able to do with such grace! Personally, at this point the cons of anon stuff outweighs the pros for me, but everyone gets to make their own choice on how they handle their inbox thankfully! (anon asks can be toggled off and on, and you can even block anons instead of answering them!) But anon or not, we should all treat each other kindly, even people we disagree strongly with. And if you do, you may even change someone's mind or learn something new yourself. I know from personal experience it’s way more effective than the alternative, which doesn’t make it easier, but does make it worth trying.

Thanks for sending these in @alwaysupatnight! 💖💖💖

#about me #ask games

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c-ptsdrecovery · 4 years

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Fanny Price and Emotional Abuse

colubrina replied to your post “Emotional Neglect in Austen”

I would actually love to read your analysis of Fanny Price if you ever had time and inclination to write it out.

Oh my goodness, where do I start?

Fanny Price is abused and neglected from start to finish of that novel. She suffers direct emotional/verbal abuse from Mrs. Norris, bullying from Maria and Julia, excessive criticism from those three AND Sir Thomas, and emotional neglect from Lady Bertram and Tom. She also suffers PHYSICAL abuse and neglect, mostly from Mrs. Norris, who does not allow her to have any heat in her room in the winter and forces her to work beyond her strength in the summer even though Mrs. Norris KNOWS she’s chronically ill (and it’s no wonder, considering the amount of emotional strain Fanny’s under, that she should be chronically ill!).

The only person in that house who even notices that she’s utterly miserable from the trauma of being torn from her family is Edmund: he’s the only one who treats her like a person and is kind to her. It’s no WONDER she falls in love with him: he’s the only person in the entire family who doesn’t treat her like SHIT. But while Edmund recognizes Mrs. Norris’ behavior toward Fanny to be beyond the pale, he generally does not seem to notice that his more immediate family also treats her horribly. Lady Bertram treats Fanny as a servant, putting her own (Lady Bertram’s) needs and wants before Fanny’s (”You don’t want to go to the party, do you? You want to stay home with me because I get bored if you don’t!”). Sir Thomas is generally so critical and cold that when he greets Fanny kindly on his return from Antigua she is “nearly overcome” by his kindness. Even Edmund himself begins to both emotionally and physically neglect Fanny the moment he gets interested in Mary--leaving Fanny for ages on the bench alone, keeping her waiting too long for her horse when she needs to exercise, etc. Fanny only gets noticed and included as a member of the family when Maria and Julia are both gone and the family is apparently bored without them--the same reason Henry decides to flirt with her.

The result is that Fanny has almost no self-esteem. She has completely internalized Mrs. Norris’s lesson that “Wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last.” At one point she parrots the lessons she’s been taught by the treatment of the entire family:

“I can never be important to any one.” “What is to prevent you?” “Everything. My situation, my foolishness and awkwardness.” “As to your foolishness and awkwardness, my dear Fanny, believe me, you never have a shadow of either.”

She believes she’s foolish and awkward because the family harped on her lack of education and “refinement” when she first came to them, and they have drilled into her, not only that she is not important to them, but that she can never BE important to ANYONE. Classic result of emotional neglect. And Fanny NEVER actually gets over it, throughout the entire book.

She’s nearly silent through much of the book too, mostly because she’s too terrorized to talk. As someone who was similarly brainwashed by emotionally abusive parents, I can tell you that taking any attention under some circumstances feels excruciating and guilt-inducing, because you’ve been conditioned so hard to believe that “being the center of attention” is somehow morally WRONG. Fanny suffers from precisely that false belief (note her distress when she is required, by the social rules of the day, to start the dancing at her own ball--Sir Thomas basically has to SCOLD her into it!).

That said, it’s amazing to note the one way in which she DOES have self-esteem: she believes in her own moral judgment. This is the only basis on which she is able to think and act independently of others. When Edmund treats her badly, she gets seriously annoyed. When she notices Henry’s bad behavior toward Maria, she is indignant. She secretly judges Mary Crawford the whole way through the book. I would attribute this trust in her moral judgment to be the result of the kind of long walks and talks she has with Edmund in the text and has had her entire life: he has molded her to think of things with the same moral judgment he uses and to think herself capable of being superior to others in that moral judgment. Of course, since she has absorbed the moral tone of Edmund, learned from Sir Thomas, she is pretty judgy sometimes, since Sir Thomas clearly feels himself and his moral code to be superior rather than conservative. She certainly feels superior to her birth family (with some reason, honestly lol), because in this one thing she has been taught that the family she grew up in was superior to others. She has imbibed this superiority and acts it out when at Plymouth.

Let me give you an example of Sir Thomas’s conservative moral code. You might think, from reading Mansfield Park, that Jane Austen disapproved of private theatricals, and that they were generally considered too naughty by the Better Sort of Person. It turns out that this isn’t true at all. Not only were private theatricals popular, but Jane Austen enjoyed performing in them and even WROTE some plays for that purpose! One of them involves a gentleman sitting on a lady’s lap!! It turns out that the strait-laced tone of the novel is not so much a reflection of the author’s standards of conduct, but of Sir Thomas’s, imbibed by Edmund and then Fanny. Edmund, Fanny, and Sir Thomas’s dislike of private theatricals would have been a bit PRUDISH at the time, not the obvious standard of Good Breeding.

Another thing the novel has imbibed from Sir Thomas is its insularity. The modern criticism of Mansfield Park talks a lot about the family’s isolation. Now, I don’t hold with the criticism that makes a big deal out of Fanny marrying her cousin and implying that that’s incestuous, because in the 19th century, cousin marriage was not only acceptable but a norm. Marrying your cousin was often considered desirable because it strengthened family ties and kept money in the family. BUT, I completely agree with the observation that the Mansfield Park family seems to shun the outside world.

One thing that I don’t know if the criticism has commented on is that dysfunctional families often function like cults. Offspring of dysfunctional families tend either to rebel and “run away” (Maria elopes, Julia elopes, Tom rebels) or to fail to establish autonomy (Edmund takes a living in Sir Thomas’s gift and later the house right down the road; Fanny never gets out of the family at all because she marries Edmund). Dysfunctional families also teach their members not to trust those outside the family circle. They don’t tend to socially interact much with others. I can say from personal experience that my parents have VERY few friends that they see outside of work or church, and only one couple that they invite to the house regularly. As a child, I rarely got to have birthday parties with my friends: my parents would instead invite my extended family. I was taught not to establish strong bonds outside the family, to trust the family only to be generous or to help and support me. I find it difficult to establish strong ties of friendship outside the family or to trust those friends to support me the way my family might.

The Bertrams are the same way. Maria and Julia go to local balls, but that happens offscreen, and we never meet any of their acquaintances except Mr. and Mrs. Rushworth (who become family). The family disapproves strongly of Tom’s having such an active social life away from home, and disapproves when he brings home a friend (Mr. Yates) to stay. Even when Sir Thomas holds a ball for Fanny in the house itself, we never actually meet any of the guests except the ones we already know! And the “last straw” that causes Edmund to agree to join the theatricals is when they start asking people “outside their circle” of Mansfield and the parsonage to participate. He also deplores that they might invite in an audience of these personae non gratae. Frankly, it’s amazing that the Bertrams were willing to open their family circle enough to let in, not only the Grants, but the Crawfords.

I’ve gone on for quite awhile, but I’ll close like this. When I first read Mansfield Park, I hated it and I hated Fanny, because she had no backbone and cried all the time. Then I watched the 2007 adaptation with Billie Piper, and realized that although Fanny was so shy and retiring and weepy, she had an iron backbone in that nobody could make her do what she thought was wrong. Mansfield became one of my favorite Austen novels.

At the moment, I don’t feel like I can reread MP. I’m dealing so much with my own history of emotional abuse and neglect that MP strikes just waaaay too close to home (also the reason I can’t rewatch Tangled right now). I’m not sure how much I like MP anymore, frankly. Austen did a fantastic job of accurately portraying a victim of emotional abuse. And she gave Fanny what she wanted at the end, which was Edmund. But I can’t help wondering if Austen herself wished she could have ended the novel differently. She comes right out and says, authoritatively, that if Edmund had married Mary, and Crawford hadn’t run off with Maria, that Fanny would have married Crawford and been happy. She could have escaped from her abusive family, with someone who really sees their abuse: “And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be, and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness.” If Crawford and Maria hadn’t run off together, the ending of Mansfield Park might have been entirely different--and it MIGHT have been better.

#jane austen #mansfield park #literature #abuse #emotonal abuse

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asiryn · 4 years

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this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience]

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into.

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly.

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that.

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time.

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

#kiryn's adventures in liveblogging #kiryn watches pokemon #kiryn watches spop #kiryn watches she ra #kiryn watches my next life as a villainess #kiryn watches good omens #life updates #disability talk #scheduling

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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Hi Mittens! Based on what you've heard/read so far - with Dabb's comments and how Jensen has reacted - saying he had to be "talked into" liking the ending...what do you think - and I know it's a guess....what do you think will happen to each character? can you respond a bout: Sam, Dean, Cas, Jack, Rowena, God, and Lucifer? And we know Adam and Eileen are back, what about them? Will Lisa/Ben return? What ending do YOU expect?

Hi there! I’ll start this off by reminding everyone that while I do occasionally speculate on the Big Themes and the big picture direction of the story, this sort of specific speculation is something I normally… hate… :P

Since you’re not asking about Big Themes here, but specifically character stuff, I’ll just give you general thoughts on how I think each character’s arc will eventually unfold, because it’s impossible to know specific character beats yet.

Sam: I think he will have a difficult time reconciling his lifetime of hope and faith in a benevolent divine creator. remember he’s the one who always prayed, who wanted to believe God was out there, and when God came back in s11 he was DELIGHTED at first… Like fanboying over Chuck. And he was the one to finally see behind the curtain in 14.20. This fundamental belief and hope that Sam’s held on to his whole life has just been shattered, and he can no longer deflect the truth he’s learned. I hope he’s able to face it head on, and finally be able to reconcile the fantasy life he’s always dreamed of with the reality he’s been forced to live because of Chuck’s meddling.

Dean: he’s always lived his life for other people, for the mission, for “saving people, hunting things.” I want him to be able to live in a world where the entire world’s fate isn’t weighing on him personally, you know? I want him to get to a point where he can let that burden go, and actually choose to live for HIMSELF for once. To even get a chance to figure out what would truly make him happy. And then for him to be free of that enough to go out and BE happy.

Cas: We knew he’s long doubted the righteousness of Heaven’s mission, and that he’s struggled with who he is and what he wants to be. He’s long since put the Winchesters first, but I think he will be continuing that journey, learning it’s not how useful he can be that makes him indispensable in their lives, but just HIM, HIMSELF that has inherent value to the Winchesters (and especially to Dean). And that he doesn’t need to sacrifice himself for his family in order to truly be part of it.

Jack: my thoughts on Jack in s15 are by necessity hazier than the rest, because as a mirror character for all the others as much as a character in his own right, on top of the fact that something game-changing is about to go down in the empty and we can’t yet guess how that will play out, I suspect a lot of his journey will mirror parts of what I’ve said above for Sam, Dean, and Cas, but where that will end, I really can’t say yet…

Rowena: AAAAHH. I love her, and I think her journey will continue along its current trajectory, working more and more closely with the Winchesters (and especially Sam), and my main hope for her is that she and Sam both find a way to redefine their supposed “fate.” Go back and watch 13.12 and 13.19, the vulnerability she’s shared with Sam, and the heartbreak when she realized Sam actually could pull the trigger on her… which he immediately regretted… Sam: You changed other people’s fates. Maybe we can change yours. And she’s been actively working toward that since then, based on the solid foundation of resting that redemption on SAM. So. :’)

God/Chuck: He’s gotta go, one way or the other, right? Can there ever truly be free will for any of them when he won’t let go of his story? Humanity must be allowed to pick up their pens and begin writing their own stories now. Don’t know how that will look in a non-metaphorical way in the show, but there’s the show’s own metaphor version of it :’D

Lucifer: He dead-dead.

And now on to the returning faces:

Eileen: I really hope the show gives her a solid story for her return, but I’m not setting myself up to assume that she will be back for more than one episode. I suppose I’m hoping at minimum that she’s done right by, after 12.21 did her so, so wrong. Her death was needlessly, pointlessly cruel not just to her character, but to real humans who watch this show– women, d/Deaf people, disabled people in general… and didn’t even really serve the supposed intended purpose of fueling Sam’s manpain. We were all so in shock from the graphic pointlessness that most of us were incapable of even watching the rest of the episode, only made worse by the simpering tone of the letter she’d apparently sent Sam before she died. So at the very least, I need the show to issue her a formal (if metaphorical) apology for that bullshit.

Adam: What I would personally like most from a return of Adam, (and I was yelling about this to someone in chat bubbles recently and I can’t remember to whom), but knowing Dabb’s personal sense of humor, and knowing the spirit in which Adam’s character was first introduced way back in 4.19 (link for what I mean here: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184474002825/when-daniel-loflin-and-i-came-up-with-the-idea), but especially this bit: “We leaked that we were doing an episode with another Winchester brother and let photos go out to the various websites, and then we let them all panic. “We were laughing because we knew the whole time that he was actually never really their brother. I have to admit, we take sick pleasure in making our audience anxious. We like stirring the pot when we know everything is actually well under control.”

So to me, the absolute BEST way to bring Adam back would be definitively proving he has been in Heaven all this time, and was never in the cage at all. That, to me, is the only way to end a 10 year long con on the entire fandom, paying off Adam’s entire character in the exact spirit in which he was created. It would be fucking poetic, is what it would be. And we all know how Dabb loves his poetry.

(and for the sake of completeness, have my rewatch notes on 4.19 too)

(since I see Billie as Dabb’s self-insert character, like Kripke’s was Chuck, and Carver’s was Metatron)

and finally,

Lisa and Ben: I most sincerely doubt they’ll be back. There is zero narrative reason for them to return, but I already wrote a kinda long post about them a few days ago: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186471109135/gosh-bringing-lisa-back-would-be-an-awful-idea-i. I really, really really do not think the show is gonna take that route… there’s just waaaay too much skeevy baggage to unpack to bring them back to the story, and with only 20 episodes left to go, I don’t think they have time to do that in a non-skeevy way. Better not even try to unpack that whole can of worms at this point.

As to the ending I expect? I expect Sam and Dean (and hopefully alongside Rowena and Cas) to be at a point where they’re ready to go out into the world to truly seek their own destinies, unburdened by the Cosmic Story that’s prevented them from truly making their own choices for themselves all their lives. That’s it.

#spn s15 speculation #Anonymous

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insert-current-hyperfixation · 5 years

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Rewatching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

So I’m rewatching the first Pirates movie, the first time in waaaay too long, and I’ve realized many things.

1. Are they trying to tell me that James Norrington was crushing on a woman who is 15 years younger than him???? And who knew her when she was just a kid and he was a grown adult????? Oh!! And her dad was okay with it?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!

2. How did I not realize that I was Bi sooner?? Cause like you have Capt. Jack Sparrow, Orlando Bloom as a pirate, and Keira Knightly!! They are all beautiful people!! I mean when I watched it when I was like 12 I knew Keira was beautiful, but I thought I was just observing her beauty. But NOPE that’s just little Bi me.

3. Jacks entrance is perfect!!! I loved how it looks like he’s a really cool pirate with a cool ship, but when they panned out, the boat is tiny and sinking. Amazing!!

4. Will Turner!! That scene when he breaks the candle holder!! How did no one hear that?? It was soo loud. Or did they hear it but didn’t say anything??

5. I absolutely love the two navy men that Jack meets before Elizabeth decides to take a swim. I just love them.

6. I just love this movie!!

I’m only 17 minutes in, and it’s making me feel sooo many feelings.

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phdna · 5 years

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I watched Endgame at last and I have so many incoherent feelings

Overall? Incredibly entertaining and full of easter eggs that will last me a while. I had all spoilers tags blacklisted until yesterday, so I don’t really know what everybody is saying, but from what I’ve gathered from my dash after watching the movie, it seems most of tumblr hated it. I get it because I’d have done a lot of things differently. But while it’s not a perfect movie, I don’t think it’s as bad as people are acting like it is. Especially working with the premise “Marvel needs to realistically get rid of most of its superheroes because the actors won’t play them forever, but just killing everybody off in battle would be kinda repetitive,” I think they did remarkably well. It’s a 3 hour movie and it felt like half an hour. If Marvel ENTERTAINMENT entertains, I think they’re doing okay

I’m too dumb to get time travel shenanigans so I’ll have to watch it at least one more time to make sure I really get it. Having said that: comics primed me to enjoy stuff I don’t understand or even stuff that straight up don’t make any sense, so I’m not as bothered by potential inconsistencies as other fans are... but having said that, I lost track of what year the MCU is in. Especially because of Peter’s classmates. But it’s not like Marvel in any of its branches is particularly sensible about timelines, so I’m not surprised. I do pity fic writers who have to untangle it all, though!

I cried. A lot. I’d say it was embarrassing, but pretty much everybody in the room was crying too. I knew it was going to be emotionally taxing, but woah. Going home with swollen eyes was not something I expected. I cried watching CATWS but not even half as much as I did watching AE.

Best part of the movie was the “post-credits scene,” if that’s what we’re calling it. Project that on my tombstone when I die. So beautiful.

The female Avengers scene was super satisfying but if Marvel doesn’t follow through with having more representation, I’m gonna riot

Speaking of representation, sorry, Marvel, it was touching but I’m not counting that guy as “the first openly LGBTAQ character in the MCU.” The bar may be low af, but it’s still not THAT low, come on

I wish Tony had gotten his happy ending but I’ve always known they’d kill him off at some point as a way to permanently take the character off the universe, and if he had to go, I can’t think of a better way. It was brilliantly acted and directed, bookended the entire Infinity Saga, highlighted just how much of a hero Tony is, and was generally iconic. It also forces the MCU to look beyond Tony’s story and find a new universe protagonist, which is something I’m looking forward to.

Steve... it’s complicated. I’m still processing how this affects the universe, but on a character level, it actually makes a whole lot of sense. Steve’s character arc is, I’d argue, about learning he’s got nothing to prove, and Cap’s is about learning he doesn’t owe his life to the Greater Good. Having him choose living a happy life - just that, no bells and whistles - is a smart call. I’m not fully sure I can imagine Steve sticking to it (Steve Rogers keeping out of trouble? As if!), but it was either that, have Chris Evans work for Marvel for the rest of his life (which he won’t do, let’s face it - he doesn’t enjoy all the fame that comes with it), or kill Steve. But Steve has chosen to die plenty of times, so killing him would be more of the same. On a meta level, it works, but like I said, I'm still connecting the dots, so I’m not as sure about his ending being good as I am about Tony’s

I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about Thor. That’s it. I’ll rewatch it and let y’all know.

Marvel never could make me care much for MCU Clint, so I didn’t really care for his arc this time either. I don’t dislike it, I’m just not invested

NAT. I wish she hadn’t died (both because she deserves better and because Marvel doesn’t have enough women), but it’s beautiful how she was raised to kill people and to have no relationships, but her death is about saving people without having to kill somebody else, and being Very Definitely Loved. But it disturbs me that Gamora and Natasha, two strong women trying to escape their bloody past, get killed off in basically the same way, while the strong men who try to escape their bloody past...... actually escape their bloody past.

Thanos was a worthy opponent. If you spend 22 movies hyping up a villain, it’s hard to deliver, but their ultimate battle against him was breath-taking. Super exciting in an “I feel like a kid playing with her superhero toys” way the MCU doesn’t always manage to do. One of the best parts of the movie imho

This is already waaaay too long so I’ll probably end up having to write another post later, but before I forget: “I love you 3000″ was such a clever line because a ton is 2000 pounds, and that’s the kind of thing a brilliant kid might say. It says so much about Morgan’s bond with Tony - that they love each other and that even as a kid she has his wit - in such a quick exchange. I was very much impressed!!!

I’m so curious about how the next GotG movie is gonna go!!!!!!!

Okay, I still have a lot to say but I’ll stop here and write more later

#avengers endgame spoilers

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illgiveyouahint · 6 years

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Do you have a favorite movie(s)? Like even top 5 if you can't pick.

omg yes movies YES!!!This is gonna get long because I love talking movies and I love talking about my favs so sorry in advance.Okay so short answer my favourites are Moonlight, Pride & Prejudice, The Handmaiden, Mad Max: Fury Road and Howl’s Moving Castle.

So yeah 2016 has been a good year to me because it gave me 2 of my ultimate faves. I’ve seen Moonlight at least 6 times in the past year. I’ve seen the audio commentary, I’ve watched interviews and panels with everyone from Barry Jenkins to the casting director Yesi Ramirez. Despite me not being black or gay that movie somehow speaks to me like no other and my mom can attest to the fact that I have an urge to rewatch moonlight like every 3 weeks or so (but I’m trying not to because I don’t want to overwatch it). I love how the movie is made, the cinematography, the score, the acting, I love how it is inspired by wong kar wai but it has much more straight-forward storytelling than the asian cinema so I understand it better. I swear that my heart is aching so much by the end of the movie but I also never felt more human and hopeful for the future than when I watch this film. I love that film. I have grown to love it so much. It is part of me. Part of me that you cannot take away anymore.

I also love The Handmaiden. Again I think the score and the cinematography are just wonderful. I love the story and I love how it talks about the male-gazing and the violence one feels during it. I also love how it talks about the complicated past of Japanese colonial rule in Korea. There are so many levels to that movie and I hate when someone diminishes it and says it’s another movie fetishizing lesbians. It’s one of those rare movies where I do agree that the movie is in fact critique of said thing and not the thing itself (as opposed to movies like the new Blade Runner which is definitely NOT a critique of how the world treats women).

Now speaking of women. I understand if people say Mad Max is just a dumb action movie with barely any plot. Because yes it’s true that the plot is basically let’s drive hundreds of miles one way and then turn around and drive hundreds of miles back but because of it’s perhaps simple plot the movie could concentrate on other things. It can concentrate on the badass women and it can concentrate on its portrayal of patriarchy. It’s one of those epic feminist movies that even your local dumb bro might have seen (I love when that happens - sneaking powerful messages into popcorn movies). I think it’s also one of the best-directed action movies. I mean the action is perfect, it’s clear, it’s simple, it’s thrilling, it’s powerful. I watched both the original version and the black and chrome version and both are stunning.

Pride & Prejudice is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine but also I think it’s just a well-made film. After seeing it like 50 times over the last 13 years I still enjoy every single line and every single shot and every single note of that movie. From the very first gentle notes of Dario Marianelli’s piano all the way to that last look exchanged between Darcy and Elizabeth before the door closes (I do not like the American ending and always watch the original British version). I fall in love with the movie again and again. I also love the book and every version of P&P that I’ve seen but this one is just extra special to my heart. Also even here I could talk at lengths about the powerful messages Jane Austen gave us and the two kinds of men she presented to us with Darcy and Mr. Collins but this is already waaaay to long so I will move to the last one.

Last but not least Howl’s Moving Castle. I rewatched it yesterday so it’s fresh in my memory actually. I know that Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke are both probably better in terms of storytelling but Howl is special to me. My first Ghibli movie was Spirited Away but I was too young for it and I found it scary and i didn’t want to watch anything ghibli several years after that. Howl’s Moving Castle is the film that finally made me fall in love with Ghibli and Miyazaki. I love the world it’s set in. Some might say it’s too busy and unfocused but honestly, that’s what I love about it. There is so much going on that everytime I rewatch it I concentrate on something else and discover something new. I love the music and the animation and Howl and Calcifer and Sophie. I also am a huge romantic so I guess this movie just like all the others on the list simply make my heart swoon.

So here you have it. I apologize for the long response, for the delay on the response and for any mistakes I might have made because I’m too lazy to read it after me. Thank you for your ask. It has literally made my day

P.S. I do realise I have no female-directed film on my top 5. I do love many films by women it's just that none has reached this level of love yet.

#anonymous #ask #answered

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