#this was so.... I’m dizzy<3

[mattodore]

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

#sorry matthias </3 maybe he'll pick up the next time you try calling............ <- me when i lie #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #gifs #theodore doe #echthroi #hi friends and lovers hope everyone's doing well <3 #i got my old laptop to work so i have a laptop again even if the battery on it is messed up #but still #i haven't been online much bc i've started getting dizzy from staring at computer/phone screens for too long #and in particular the act of scrolling either on mobile or desktop makes my head spin and my eyes hurt :/ #but i powered through it yesterday so i could get in game with theo (and matthias) since i missed him really bad... oc plague be upon ye #i took... well. like five hundred screenshots and forty videos... i was in the soup. the mattodore soup. what can i say? #i don't like posting too much on here bc. i'm crazy (<- has avpd) so i probably won't post much from yesterday's fun here #but i'll post whatever i want on pillowfort <3 pic of jerma holding out his hand captioned let's take mattodore together #what else should i say before leaving... right my inbox... well i'll get to it eventually <- have been saying this since october sorry #but okay i've been staring at my screen too long so i need to go lay down for a bit #enjoy theo in motion!! if you’re a theo-head like myself #theodite à la jermamite? hm. its in the works. i’m workshopping. #mentioning jerma twice in these tags… busting a cyanide pill onto my tongue i’ve said too much #i have to go now mwah mwah mwah bye warmth and love to you mwah

[troubldteenz]

He’s so adorable

#smg4 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #tehe #HES SO SCRUNKLY #HES SO #SHGSVAKAKA #a little dizzy recolor mayrio :4 #I meant to put :3 #I’m too lazy to fix it though #oh well!!! #raaaah #gif

[karinasbaby]

I needed someone to share this with, but I found this picture of Jake and idk how to act bc it's giving dark and possessive behavior 🙈

oh. my. god. u came into the right inbox because this is PEAK vampire jake and vampy jake literally gets me weak in the knees so 🫠🫠

#ahem ahem #possessive vampy jake who doesn’t allow u to walk outside the house without his pretty red marks on your neck 🤗 #and no i’m not talking about hickeys i’m talking about his fang marks. #possessive & dark vampy jake who’s actually insanely in love with u and cannot stand the thought of someone else seeing u #so he’s always following u around like a shadow even if u don’t notice it #possessive vampy jake who’s literally addicted to ur blood. like nothing tastes the same for him anymore not even blood bags help him so #he begs and begs and whines and whimpers for u to allow him to feed off ur blood just one more time #and he gets so whiny & so turned on the second u allow him to latch his teeth onto u :( #vampy jake who literally moans against ur bite marks while he drinks u up #makes sure the area goes numb so he doesn’t hurt u as well !! #and once u start pushing him off bcs you’re getting dizzy he starts to just lick & kiss ur marks gently #aftercare with him would be so sweet :( he’d make sure that u eat healthy & filling meals everyday #not only for ur blood but for ur energy as well bcs he’s a FREAK #okay i’ll stfu now but vampy enha is smth that lives in my mind rent free. #ithinkishouldwritefullonheadcanonsaboutthematp #but vampy possessive jake 🫶🏼🫶🏼 #thank u so much for sending this baby <3 #dreamy sigh. #asks & responses <3 #ᓭི༏ᓯྀ‧₊˚ — ♡ 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. #𓆩 𓂋 𓆪 alvojake ♡ #— jake?!

[shenji-yei-v2]

just made mysefl a lovely Damascus rose drinc folowing the low quality recipe I found on da internet. well its not that bad but I think I’m losin consciousness y’all 😄🤣🤣 bruh that was too flavored 4 me lol gotta post it before I forget my own ass name 😂🤣🤣🤣

#amnesia the dark descent #it’s a very old recipe on some abandoned blog #i lowkey wanted to try it for about 4months and got the chance today #well for you to know guys and girls #the rose flavor is strong as hell and literally makes you dizzy #to this day I though amnesia lore with those roses was just a romantic trope but today I know the real reason. #rose’s smell and flavor is just like a goddamn gasoline #so yeah that’s definetely NOT for everyone’s taste #yet I tried it and I think I’m going to fall asleep now it made my head really heavy and not even with the alcohol. #in case I’ll find this post tomorrow with my memory wiped clean: #hi your name is Shandy Yay you’re 21yo animation student you’re russian and you’re CRINGE #and your husbands name is Leon de Vries he’s South African tho if he’s not home go to Algiers and find him he’s somewhere there #that’s it byeeee <3

[swordmaid]

I’ve finally done the act 2 durge scene and I’m crying so badly on the morning after yves going like -

[I promise I will be the person you see in me] bffr thats literally in response to what wyll says if you decide to break up with the others for him are you kidding me!!!!!!!

#I love that scene tho 😭 wyll cheering yves on meanwhile she’s like I will scoop out your one good eye and wear it on my circlet ☺️❤️💋 #but I didn’t make yves tell the whole truth tho … she just cried … but she’s still withholding everything … #now I’m thinking she’s more reserved … that sweet cleric who’s a bit too trusting they met in act 1 is slowly fading away #I also hc she starts remembering some things the more they stay in moonrise #very minor things but enough to give her an idea of her past / what she’s done #now she’s more reserved … spending more time in contemplation … quietly searching to see if there’s anything else she can remember .. #all the while suffering from her dizzy spells and headache bc the more her memories get triggered the more her head hurts lol #so act 2 is not a fun time for her … and act 3 (w the stuff I’m planning) will b worse (: #shut up about bg3. #bg3 spoilers

[autistic-katara]

ha ha i’m owo fuckinf drunk and n

i rlly hop für parents don’t want ice

cause he’d jbe t in tumble and th y tell my parents and i’d get in troubke

cause apparently there t a bad nch of qlchoholi a in our family or smthn idk

#m wo rucking dizzy n my think hyrts #we might cut ourslefyec later m😟 #idk i’ll make sense of all this when i’m fucking aover #thanks guck for autocorrect or that half of this hyhate make s sense’d be incomprehensible #yeah heh #h fuck my ears r ringing so ba #i’m fine btw guys don’t worry :3 #fuck

[mcnuggyy]

man having grown up in an abusive household makes it so hard to tell when something is a normal disagreement a normal family would have and what is a fight that is absolutely something a normal healthy family would never ever have… like…. 😐

#it happened so fast too I can’t even process how it set off #context being my mom got really dizzy which happens because of her condition #and so we asked her to lay down #about 30 min later she’s back up again making sandwiches for my dad #we all start like calmly kinda teasingly being like cmon dad #she should be laying down why did you have her get up for that #and then my sister said something and then my dad got louder and she got louder and I was like why are we yelling #and so I had to get loud and it was just a whole mess #and my dad got really really fucking mad #and was being a total dick in my opinion #over like… nothing #and my mom sounded all scared and idk man it was a very weird interaction #and I was really shocked up about it because my brain just always goes back to when we used to get hit #but we’re adults now so I’m sure that won’t happen again but sometimes the way my dad gets pissed off #like it feels like it still could happen again one day ykno…. #idk #I know so much is in the past #but it still feels like it happen again every so often and it’s very very very scary lol #anyways I can’t wait to leave <3 hahaha #but seriously like is that normal idk probably not I wish I had some sort of reference to what a healthy parent is supposed to be like #i don’t know a single person with a good relationship w their parents at least not both of them #it’s always just like one or none of them lmao #anyways #</3 #abuse cw #also to make matters worse this all happened during our movie nights we’ve been having #to make my sisters boyfriend feel welcome in the family #since he moved in #like I can’t imagine moving into my partners house #and just hearing like constant screaming fighting matches randomly throughout the week like ok 😐😐😐

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so. #literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

[hobisexually]

x

#hm its time for a rant again <3 #but my roommate has a date again and that makes me feel…….. extra mentally ill snsnsnsn #I’m a little bit upset because I spent this entire year trying to rebuild right. rebuild my social life rebuild the me I used to be #and every time I think I’m almost there shit derails me? #like okay first my dad and I. collide in unprecedented ways #then my back problems got worse than ever before #then I try to recover from not speaking to said dad and work throws a blow in my face that I quite frankly still haven’t really gotten over #then new body problems arise! #then we find out I definitely have pcos and can’t ignore it any longer #then everyone in my life is. moving on to a life phase I can’t follow to #but I had it all under control I was taking it in stride I was Coping #and then ……… I catch covid again #and it really triggered 1) my anxiety again in ways that. Sigh #and 2) im still not okay? it’s been three weeks and I’m still dizzy every day I have a headache all the time I am So tired I can’t focus #and my eyes are being weird #and idk that happened in the last week and also my neck is FUCKED and my shoulders feel like concrete #and last time my eyes were weird and I couldn’t focus and had a headache all the time it was also my neck #but I just…….. am 1) terrified it’s long covid I am so so so scared #2) how can I live life normally if this. keeps happening. #but mostly 3) I am so tired of it being blow after blow after blow #I am too generally busy with work or therapy or physio therapy or FUCKING pelvic floor therapy #which is a whole different kind of hell I can’t even begin to discuss on this website it makes me so uncomfortable #that I. can’t even date. #like where do I have the energy to. #I am about to turn 32 and what the fuck do I have to show for it #and what if this is it #what if? this is it?????!!???! #I don’t know if I can live with that #ugh this doesn’t even touch the root of it but I am Deeply Upset and I don’t like complaining or acting like a victim (im not!) but Jesus #I for once would just like to. be carefree. instead of feeling like I need to fix 29292993 things about myself before I can Live. fuck.

[pepprs]

currently.

#purrs #what if i was experiencing ordeals so mortifying and horrors so horrible i could not talk about them to anyone in full honesty and truth and #transparency not even the dearest people in my life who love me and actively want to support me and listen to me or my tumblr mutuals who #are literally my bestest friends who live in my phone and in some cases outside of it so instead i locked myself in my rapunzel tower and pr #proceeded to cut off my hair and then cut off my dress and then cut off my brain so it could stop perceiving stimuli and reacting to it #despite wanting to get better and thinking it’s getting better and i couldn’t even tell my therapist because he doesn’t get me but it takes #too long to find a new one and i don’t have time and also my tower was getting renovated and also i was a little bug who was getting. #crushed by giant rain drops falling on my shell and bending my antennae so im dizzy and also it’s as almost midnight and i had to be up at a #work awake in 6 hours and ready to fscilitwtbeblike 3 things but i was screaming and howling and pounding on the floor over the dumbest most #normal sjit in the entire world that i couldn’t tell anybody i was struggling over because it would make everybody in the world blow up and #die and explode. what if i had to communicate the horrors through memes and vague posts every single day and that was all that was truly at #my disposal and everyone thougut i was being weird and standoffish and mean but really i was pulsing hurt like a strobe light every second o #of every day. becaus ei think if all of that was true i would simply go to sleep without doing the dishes and redacted redacted redacted red #redacted. and i wish i could. but i can’t. I’m just a little beetle and the rain drops are so huge. lol #delete later #puslng INCOMMUNICABLE hurt *. like morse code. like fire flies. Because literally… 💡💡💡💡💡 #<- girl who has had separation anxiety since the day she was born. but also girl who never texts anyone back. girl who is a hypocrite 🥰

[kirbyofthestars]

i just realized maybe after being burnt out from drawing all day is not the best time to complete requests 😵‍💫 im an unstoppable image generating machine until i am not. ah well

#lorena.txt #want nap #i’m photosensitive so staring at my tablet for too long makes me dizzy lmao #i’m glad i could draw as much as i did today for the ask blog though! #and i’m super excited to draw some of my mutuals’ au versions of characters >:3

[chromoluminary]

hmrhjrm

#ember talks #you know what I’m p sure these headaches I’ve been waking up with aren’t normal at this point #very tired of waking up at 3 am w so much pain that I can’t keep food down and my skin hurts and the room is spinning #was going to see the new spiderverse movie today but not gonna try and leave apartment if this dizzy :(

[autistic-katara]

why does paracetamol taste like that when u swallow it wrong holy fuck

#tastes like literal poison #and i mean that actually literally i have tasted poison before nd it tastes like that #anyways guess who fucking started his period and somehow didn’t notice how deranged he was getting until he actually saw the blood #next time i start insaneposting at the beginning/end of the month remind me that i have a uterus #and it’s out to get me for not being teen pregnant #istg i feel so dizzy rn 😭 #i need to binge eat ice cream nd other junk food and watch netflix for 3 days straight and cry like some sort of misogynistic stereotype #except i’m a boy #holy fuck can this paracetamol kick in already jesus- #ryan shut the fuck up

[merriclo]

i’m so thirsty but i don’t have my water bottle or my wallet so i can’t get or buy any water 😭

#thx school for not making water free outside of the nasty water fountains <3 love y’all #i’ve got room temp apple juice in my bag tho so it’s not the end of the world #well ok i will be dizzy but i’m sitting for the most part today so that won’t fuck me over

[crabussy]

HAHAHAHHAA *sets the nearest person to me on fire with my mind*

#i’m sick and miserably so #thrown up in my mouth countless times #dizzy!!! nauseous!! headachey!!! #came on a family outing out of guilt even though I felt really ill #and now they won’t let me leave #I have to stay out for 3 more hours #i’m in pain too!!!! yippee!!! #vent tw #having a meltdown too. tism!!!!!! #and cramps and anxiety #FULL WHAMMY I want to die #robin shut up challenge