A Date in Exchange
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)
It’s been several days of not seeing the villain—they’re not even in the streets anymore. It’s getting close to the point in the week where they show up on the hero’s doorstep with that stupid flurry of flowers and that even stupider scowl that keeps getting darker with each week, but their silence is making the hero think they might skip out on their little date night for the first time.
They know their parents would worry if they suddenly went radio silent on their supposed partner. That’s what this feeling is. They’re not concerned for the villain. They just have a lot riding on them showing up. That’s all.
Their concern for the villain’s absence manifests into a short text message, one of many sent over the past few days.
I was hoping we could talk about things. It’s our usual night - I’ll get some wine and we can keep it casual?
The sound of their phone pinging 15 minutes later almost stops their heart, and they practically vault over their table to snatch their phone up.
I wanted to talk anyway. I’ll be there at my usual time
It’s the most grammatically correct message the villain’s ever sent, and it makes the hero’s insides twist nervously. They've never used capitalisation in their life. Or punctuation. They want to talk.
That’s not what matters though, the hero tells themself. They’re coming. I can fix things.
Things could be shit with the villain for all they care. This is only because of their parents. Nothing else.
The hero doesn’t set up some random activity like they usually do. They don’t want their nemesis to think that they’re trying to pretend everything is fine. They set an empty vase on the table, throw a lasagne in the oven just in case, and simply opt to wait.
The sound of their own doorbell ringing is as relieving as it is nauseating. The villain is on their doorstep, of course, and they don’t even try to offer the hero a smile. They somehow get more bothered when the door opens, if anything.
“Hey,” the hero opens softly. They step back to let the villain in, but they stay rooted to their spot outside.
“I’m not staying long,” the villain tells them flatly, and the hero can feel that twist again. “I’m just here to say something.”
“Surely you can say it out of the cold.”
The villain heaves a deep breath, their sigh puffing in a cloud in front of their face. “I’m calling it off.”
The hero can’t define what feeling is gnawing at them at the news. Betrayal? Annoyance? Heartbreak? “Is… is this because of my parents?”
The villain shrugs half-heartedly. “I think what your mother said put some stuff into perspective about what we’re doing. I can’t marry you because she said so, jesus.”
“You can ignore her,” the hero says instantly. “She doesn’t understand.”
“Exactly. How long are you expecting me to lie about this, [Hero]?” The villain’s expression turns pissed. “Do we have a beautiful wedding, have kids, die together? Where’s the line?”
They’ve clearly been thinking about this a lot. No wonder they disappeared for so long. “She can’t make us get married, [Villain]. That doesn’t have to happen.”
“Good, because there’s no way in hell I would marry you like this.”
Something in that hurts, and the hero can’t quite tell why. “Can you just come in? I put a lasagne on and I don’t want to waste it.”
They’re not sure why they’re so set on saving this, but the villain looks past them and into the comfortable warmth, and the slightly defeated nod they give the hero makes their heart sing with hope.
The villain makes an attempt to settle into the sofa as the hero goes about taking the lasagne out of the oven. It’s a little burnt—they timed it a bit too well with the villain’s arrival. The edges are crisp but it’s still edible, and they carefully dollop it onto a pair of plates.
“I get that you don’t want to marry me, and I’m not asking you to.” The hero slides a plate in front of the villain, who doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite. “Don’t let my mother put you off.”
“Why are you so set on me doing this?” The question would be cold if it wasn’t for the slight knit in the villain’s eyebrows. “Why couldn’t you have asked anyone else?”
They wish they knew—they’re sure their parents would like any other so-called partner they could bring home. It would feel wrong doing it with anyone else, though. It’s easier to shrug it off when it’s with someone you hate, right?
They let their gaze rest on the villain, though, their eyes searching the hero’s for a semblance of an answer, their lips pulled into a slightly concerned frown, and for god’s sake they’re still stunning. It’s unfair. Things are starting to make sense alarmingly fast, sitting there staring at their fake lover, and they decide that they need to stop thinking right now.
“I don’t know.” They get to their feet so they can find an excuse to look elsewhere, beelining for the alcohol cupboard. “Look, it’s my father’s birthday this weekend, and I don’t want to ruin it with bad news. Can you hold off until then?”
“Please don’t make me actually pretend to be in a relationship with you in front of other people again.”
The hero grimaces, and the villain goes through the five stages of grief based on their expression alone. “He invited you.”
“I hate you and your parents,” the villain tells them with a scowl.
“So you’ll come?” the hero asks hopefully. A wine bottle pops open in their hand, and the villain doesn’t complain.
They scowl again, and it’s infuriating that they look so good doing it. “Last time ever. After that we stop lying and it’s over.”
The idea of this being a cold memory in less than a week hurts more than it should. The hero misses five minutes ago when they couldn’t figure out why. “Promise.”
(Final part!)
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Wulvert, maybe it’s somewhere obvious and I just missed it. But I rave about you too much with my friends to not ask is you have a preference which pronouns I should use for you.
your art is spectacular and must be acknowledged appropriately! 🫡 hahaha
hi!! i dont mind, any at all. i dont have them listed bc im pretty annoying and like to keep as much about myself vague as possible ahah
thanks so much for liking my stuff :)
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