Essential Avengers: Avengers #275: Even a God Can Die!
January, 1987
The Absorbing Man has gone toe to toe with Thor! Titania has held her own against the She-Hulk! And now Ant-Man and the Wasp are going to stop them?!?
Aw man, I would be so buy this issue if I saw it at the newsstand.
The image of Ant-Man and Wasp being the last line against the Masters of Evil, every other Avenger fallen and captured. The cover copy stressing what a mismatch this is.
Good stuff!
Also, I think the title is a reference to the ‘even an android can cry’ thing. Weird!
Also also, this is the first Avengers of the year 1987! The year ended with Avengers Mansion being captured, the team almost all captured, and Hercules beaten to apparent death!
Imagine waiting a month to follow up on that. Imagine waiting two weeks. Isn’t one week a much better idea?
The pretty much covers the last time recap. The Masters of Evil have finally enacted Zemo’s fiendish plot and everything seems to be going great for them and terrible for the Avengers.
Ten blocks around Avengers Mansion has been placed under martial law and a detachment of Army Rangers has been dispatched to guard the area and evacuate civilians.
While an ambulance took Hercules to the hospital with Wasp towing along, one of the Masters of Evil has left the Mansion and escaped despite the Army Rangers.
The specific Master of Evil was Tiger Shark. Zemo sent him on his way because the Masters of Evil don’t need him anymore and also because a villain leaving the area kicks up useful confusion.
He’s going to wind up in California and deal with the West Coast Avengers. I peeked ahead. But I don’t know if he was on Masters of Evil business or his own business with that.
Seems from this issue, Zemo is just done with Tiger Shark.
Probably for the best (for Zemo) because he does not need another fighty boy stirring up shit.
Speaking of fighty boys, the Wrecking Crew is still, true to their name, tearing the Mansion apart. Specifically, they’re tearing into the walls of Tony Stark’s labs, believing that there could be treasure in the walls.
Weird but hey that's villain enrichment.
Meanwhile, at the hospital even a god can die.
Especially if his skin keeps being too tough to get needles into.
A hospital guy shuffles Wasp out of the operating room to ask her some information for hospital records. Stuff like full name and next-of-kin.
Wasp only knows him as Hercules because I guess he didn’t want to brag by revealing that he goes by Hercules Panhellenios.
(I’m only a filthy casual in regards to mythology but I think Panhellenios means Hercules was worshiped throughout all of Greece and not just in specific spots. It’s more a title than a name but he doesn’t have a patronym or family name so the closest he gets to a “full name” is “I am the Hercules of all of Greece”)
The next-of-kin thing Wasp does know because of all the family drama Hercules had during his first stint with the Avengers. But writing Zeus down as next-of-kin on a hospital form doesn’t help because as Ant-Man points out, Zeus doesn’t have a phone number to put down.
Also, Ant-Man is here now.
Just chilling out tiny size by Wasp’s foot.
He heard on the radio that some bonkers nuts stuff was going on and decided to swing by to lend a hand.
... I like Scott Lang. He’s a good egg.
Wasp... uh, reflexively doesn’t. As much as I do. Because she sees Scott Lang, Ant-Man in the Ant-Man outfit and it just reminds her of Hank.
She’s so discombobulated that she calls him Scott in public, which Scott asks her not to do because secret ID, come on. Luckily, hospital guy booked it once Ant-Man unshrunk so nobody heard.
Scott-Man asks how he can help but Wasp is feeling the despair of this darkest hour and tells him that the Avengers might be beyond any help!
Wasp: “Baron Zemo’s Masters of Evil have taken over Avengers Mansion. They’ve beaten Hercules nearly to death -- and they’ve done... something... to Captain Marvel. What, I don’t know, but there’s no trace of her. Captain America, the Black Knight, and our butler Jarvis have all been captured. God only knows what’s happening to them.”
Bummer.
Speaking of Baron Zemo, back at the Mansion, Baron Zemo continues to love to hear himself talk to captive audience.
Baron Zemo: “For too long, society has simple-mindedly embraced the words and deeds of an elite corps of so-called super heroes. I, Baron Helmut Zemo, today declare that era to be over! My allies and I -- branded evil by an unthinking world -- have brought the self-styled Avengers to their knees.”
Are you really going to do this ‘oh society called us evil’ thing? Your dad was a super nazi. And he called his group the Masters of Evil unironically!
You’re not going to get away with trying to pull a Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and say that the evil in the name is some kind of political point.
Then again, Zemo is having Fixer film this so I shouldn’t bother cross-examining his stated motives when he is probably playing for the camera.
Anyway, Cap tells Zemo to let Black Knight and Jarvis go and get medical attention. After all, isn’t Cap the one Zemo really wants? Arch-nemesis privilege, right?
Zemo clarifies yes but no. Cap is the one Zemo wants. But hurting his friends hurts him so he’s going to make Cap watch them die.
Then he hauls off and slaps Jarvis to prove his point.
Cannot believe this Nazi or Nazi-adjacent guy is such a jerk.
Captain America: “You can’t beat the Avengers this way, Zemo. Despite all you’ve done, the Wasp is still alive and free. I know that woman... she’ll organize a whole new team of Avengers if she has to! You won’t be able to run far enough to escape her.”
Now there’s a What If? premise. What if the captured Avengers and whatnot all died and Wasp put together an Avenging Avengers roster.
Annoyed, Zemo tells Fixer to edit Cap(tain America)’s defiance out of the tape they’re going to send the media.
Cap then asks Zemo how the hell he’s alive, by the way.
Captain America: “I thought you’d been killed by the Red Skull’s daughter.”
Baron Zemo: “Obviously, I was not.”
Captain America: “Obviously. How’d you manage to survive?”
Baron Zemo: “That, you shall never know!”
Except Fixer immediately asks too and you get the sense Baron Zemo wants to tell someone because he hisses at Fixer to lower his voice, pulls him out of earshot of Cap and exposits his How He’s Alive story.
Short story: destiny.
Longer story: Apparently when Red Skull’s Daughter ‘killed’ Baron Zemo by using her PSYCHIC POWERS to give him a fatal cerebral hemorrhage, that didn’t actually happen.
His metal headband deflected some of the attack because that’s how psychic powers work. They’re deflected by metal, clearly. That’s why tinfoil hats are the best defense.
Has that ever come up in X-Men? I know Magneto’s helmet is specially made to be anti-psychic but could you get the same result from a tinfoil hat?
Y’know what, I really wish that were the case. Psychics have it too good.
Anyway, point being, Zemo survived and fled the scene before the Avengers showed up to save Captain America.
AND THIS ISN’T JUST STUFFING IN EXPOSITION WHERE IT CAN FIT! This is relevant!
Baron Zemo: “As I fled, I thought of how the Avengers had become like a family to Captain America. I remembered the countless defeats my late father had suffered at Captain America’s hand... and how those defeats drove him mad and tore our family apart. I knew then that I had to devise a way to destroy Captain America’s family... to destroy the Avengers!”
Which brings him to a change in strategy.
When Absorbing Man and Titania call in to report that Spider-Man prevented them from picking up a new recruit for the Masters of Evil (this late into their campaign? Wow) Zemo gives them another assignment instead of having them return to the Mansion.
Since Captain America has such faith that Wasp will pull through somehow, Zemo will just have to crush that hope.
He sends the supervillainy’s best couple to Newhope Memorial Hospital to make sure Wasp dies and might as well finish off Hercules while you’re there.
Meanwhile, hey I bet you’re wondering what’s become of Captain Marvel, right?
Me too. Good thing the scene change scene changes to her!
Weird scene though.
Captain Marvel: This... is just totally weird. I’ve been shanghaied across space to the Andromeda Galaxy, and stuck in Immortus’s realm of Limbo... but I’ve never experienced anything like this!”
After Blackout disappeared her to the cornfield, so to speak, she found herself in a realm of complete yet swirling darkness and numbing cold. Where the only light comes from Captain Marvel’s powers.
But then...
Captain Monica spots a light in the distance and any light that’s not her is notable and probably the way out!
She rushes to it (at light speed, mind you!) but just as she reaches it, it disappears.
Monica explodes in frustration and rage, blazing as bright as a star, but subsides after a moment still as trapped as she was.
I wonder if it was a mirage type thing. Like a rainbow.
Actually, what I really wonder is if its Dagger of Cloak and Dagger fame. The darkforce dimension is the source of Cloak’s powers too and he sometimes needs Dagger to shoot light at him to keep from going cray cray.
I don’t actually know if that’s how it works but Monica popping out of Cloak being how she escapes is an amazing visual. I hope they go with that.
Pander to me, comic that is decades already printed.
Back at the hospital, Wasp is having despair still.
Not helped that Newhope Memorial is where Wasp was taken when she almost died the first time the Avengers fought Count Nefaria.
Wasp: “That was the closest I’d ever come to dying, and it put a real scare into me. I even went so far as to suggest that the Avengers disband. Funny, isn’t it? After all this time, I’ve finally caused the end of the Avengers.”
Ant-Man: “Jan, don’t do this to yourself. No matter what’s happened, it can’t be over yet... And you’re not responsible...!”
Wasp: “Don’t hand me that! I’m Avengers chairwoman -- I know -- I’m responsible! When terrorists like Zemo can take over the Mansion, it’s because my security procedures weren’t good enough. When Avengers are hurt because I can’t get them to follow my orders, I’m at fault!”
"The buck stops here.”
I mean, that’s the responsibility of leadership. Although it’s not really productive a line of thought. It’s dwelling. But she’s been left a lot of time to dwell and not a lot that she can do to distract from dwelling. She’s got squatters rights in her own brain.
Also, this:
Aw.
Wasp tells Scott its all over for the Avengers. He tries to convince her that she can’t give up but... Before Cap got cap-tured, she and he tried to contact the reserve Avengers and no one answered.
Wasp is the Last Avenger.
So at this point, she’s done. She asks Scott to call the Fantastic Four because the Avengers are over.
(She’s going to be disappointed when she hears they’re way, way out of town.)
She asks the doctor if she can have some alone time with the very, really dead Hercules.
Wasp: Oh, Hercules... I knew you resented taking orders from me, but I never thought that would lead to this! If only Cap had been in command, maybe you’d have listened to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have gone charging into the Mansion. And maybe you’d still be alive. Why did have to end this way?
I really hope this is more darkest moment of despair dwelling and that the story doesn’t land on the moral that Wasp shouldn’t have been leader and she’s to blame for Hercules being sexist.
I’m fairly certain it won’t but I worry.
Oh, and Hercules isn’t dead.
While she’s regretting everything over his apparently not-corpse, the heartbeat machine goes BDEEP.
Wasp calls the doctors in and they do some further medical science and determine the Weird but True Olympian Science Fact that in his weakened state, Hercules’ heart is only beating once every ten minutes!
Divine anatomy is weeeird!
But the takeaway is that he’s not dead and the doctors think there’s a chance Hercules can be brought out of his coma.
And that hope is all that Wasp needs to bring her out of her funk.
When Scott-Man tells her that the Fantastic Four are too busy on a secret mission and can’t answer the phone, Wasp tells him it’s okay because HOPE.
Which is why Wasp names her eventual daughter- No, that’s just a wacky coincidence.
Anyway, there’s been a pending plot development waiting to spring and now that Wasp has her hope back is as good a time as any.
The hospital suddenly rocks, as if hit by an earthquake.
Absorbing Man and Titania have arrived to finish off Hercules and murder Wasp a little.
The police around the hospital try to stop them but c’mon, when have the police ever stopped a supervillain.
Doesn’t help that since Titania and Absorbing Man have been out of circulation for a while, the police don’t recognize them.
Shooting Absorbing Man with bullets from a gun just makes him stronger because instead of being shot and dying of it, he absorbs the properties of the bullet metal.
Wasp and Ant-Man peek around a corner as the supervillains enter the hospital and realize ‘oh shit’
Wasp: “That’s Titania! She’s nearly as strong as the She-Hulk!”
Ant-Man: “Then we’ve really got trouble! The Absorbing Man’s bounced Thor around! We have as much chance of stopping those two as Spielberg had of winning an Oscar!”
Wasp: “Scott, if not us, then who?”
That’s a fun timestamp of when this issue came out.
And maybe foreshadows the eventual hero victory when you know that Spielberg eventually did win an Academy Oscar for Schindler’s List. I don’t think Wasp and Ant-Man can wait until 1994 though.
They’ll just have to win anyway despite the improbability and not having the backing of a popular director.
Back at the Mansion, Zemo turns on the news to the attack on the hospital and gloats “Still think the Wasp will stop us, Captain?”
When Cap(tain America) holds onto hope, Zemo decides to try harder to break his spirit.
Since the hospital attack is still in progress, he’ll just have to try other things. Try breaking other things.
Zemo tries ripping up a picture of Bucky from Cap’s footlocker and having Hyde smoosh Cap’s original series but rather than his spirit breaking, Steve regards it with stone-faced stoicism.
Captain America: “I’ll remember this, Zemo.”
Baron Zemo: Will nothing break his spirit?
Zemo decides enough of stuff. Time to make Cap watch as Hyde tortures Jarvis in front of him.
Which Hyde has been waiting for.
Mister Hyde: “I have awaited this moment for a long time, Captain. Twice before, you thwarted my operations... but no more! Zemo has the right idea. I am going to slay you... But your friends shall die first!”
Mister Hyde: “Louder, old fool! I want the Captain to hear your pain!”
Hurting Jarvis? You fiend!
May a bad end come to you!
Dropped off the helicarrier by draculas is what I wish of you!
Black Knight finally regains consciousness. I guess his ass must have been whupped hard because the villains have been impatiently waiting for him to wake up while he’s just been snoozing away concussed.
Anyway, he awakens to Hyde beating the shit out of Jarvis. Obviously, he tries to summon his incredibly cursed Ebony Blade to bust out of his bonds and deal with that scoundrel Hyde!
But the Ebony Blade does not budge from where the Masters are holding it. Because the Fixer has it in an energy field to study it and Cap’s shield.
Man.
They introduce the concept that Dane can just summon his sword to his side and it’s come in handy all of one times. One time that it COULD have been useful, Dane just didn’t try. And now when he does try, it doesn’t work.
You’d think that a super cursed sword would be able to wiggle out of an energy field by teleporting but you’d think wrong.
But Dane’s failure is our scene transition.
Baron Zemo and Yellowjacket come to where the Fixer is studying the super cursed Ebony Blade and Cap’s mighty shield and tells him to do science on his own time.
Baron Zemo: “The Avengers’ main computer has resisted Yellowjacket’s best efforts to circumvent its security codes. That computer’s data is invaluable, but we have little time left to waste. It will take some effort to quash the forces which surround the Mansion. I’ll allow them time to muster additional troops. You will assist Yellowjacket in removing the computer’s memory circuits for later study.”
Yellowjacket II is less than pleased with this new partner.
This tension between her and the Fixer has come up before so I imagine it will be a Thing.
Uh, not the Ben Grimm the Thing. He’s out of town. I mean more like an important plot point. I expect at some point Yellowjacket 2.0′s dislike of the Fixer will be plot relevant.
Also, though. The computers. Good on the Avengers for having better data security than front door security.
But with the emphasis on how important the computers are, I’m starting to suspect that Zemo’s plans involve a little more than just wiping out the Avengers and whichever other superhero teams he thinks he can beat up.
This is cheating with future knowledge but when he was pretending to be the Thunderbolts later, he also really wanted computer access. But to the Fantastic Four’s computers.
He has a bigger game and even despite the Avengers losing their government privileges and such, their computers must hide the key to that bigger game.
... What is this, Mega Man Battle Network? World domination easter eggs hidden on random computers?
Anyway, wasn’t the main plot at a hospital why yes it was.
Absorbing Man and Titania are tearing their way through Newhope Memorial Hospital looking for the Avengers.
Rather than lie low, Wasp decides to just go right up to Absorbing Man. And blast him in the eyeballs.
And when Absorbing Man drops his maybe lead form, Ant-Man hits him with a growing uppercut.
I don’t know if that’s just a modern thing or not but according to shrink physics, a growing uppercut lets you get a lot more momentum into it.
Titania tries to tackle Ant-Man but he shrinks back down and she ends up smacking into the wall face first.
Which probably doesn’t hurt her that much except in the pride.
Absorbing Man rips some wires out of a junction box and becomes an electrical man.
Ant-Man and Wasp have to run from him because how do you punch electricity?
Titania punches through a wall (probably the same wall she just dented with her head) and finds the critical condition Hercules.
But before she can finish him off, Ant-Man enacts his ant-plan of covering her with ants.
Some people complain that this fight shouldn’t go the way its going and will go because Wasp and Ant-Man aren’t strong enough to fight heavy hitters like Absorbing Man and Wasp. But my rebuttal is ant-powers are really cool and I’m tired of people pretending they’re not. Also, Wasp is really cool.
Titania panics as she’s swarmed by ants and calls for Absorbing Man to help her.
I guess that makes sense. If you’re superstrong but not Hulk shockwave clap strong, then you’re no better equipped at dealing with ants than anyone else.
I don’t know if the ants can actually pierce her superstrong skin but lets say maybe. Possible. Ants know what they’re doing.
For all his other many faults, it can’t be said that Absorbing Man isn’t a caring partner. So he turns into some convenient nearby alcohol and washes the ants off of Titania.
Those brave ants are probably all dead. But Ant-Man media usually doesn’t like to talk about that.
Wasp notices that Absorbing Creel has trouble with a liquid form so she and Ant-Man blast him while he’s trying to turn back to a meat human.
Yeah, apparently Scott has a disruptor blast built into his Ant-Helmet now. Forehead laser.
An ant-free Titania is big mad about Wasp and guest star Ant-Man hurting her man and manages to snag Wasp right out of the air.
Since Ant-Man feels responsible for distracting Wasp with his cool new helmet laser, he moves to save her by smashing one of his gas canisters on Titania’s face.
I do not know when innate Pym Particles became The Thing (uh, still not the Ben Grimm the Thing) but Scott’s suit still has the shrinking gas. And he just broke a canister all over Titania who is suddenly more lilliputian than titanic.
Wasp takes advantage of Titania’s surprise at being even shorter than three apples tall to blast her through the wall.
Despite being blasted right when he stopped being alcohol, Absorbing Man is still up, but shaky. He tries to absorb Hercules, to gain the power of a Hercules, but Wasp suddenly drops on his shoulders and flies away with him.
I didn’t know she could do that.
While on his shoulders, she does a full-size sting to both sides of his head, this time not pulling her punch as much.
(Good thing he’s already in a hospital.)
Finally, Absorbing Man goes down.
I say finally but Wasp and Ant-Man only started fighting these two on page 19 out of 23. Those days of compressed storytelling. You really could get a decent fight out of not even half an issue, rather than bloating several issues with action pose action pose SPLASH PAGE.
It does its job well enough establishing that Absorbing Man and Titania punch much tougher jokers than Wasp and Ant-Man. On paper, they would win. But then on this comic book paper, Ant-Man and Wasp fight them anyway, relying instead on the trickier bits of their movesets.
Which is likely to be a big deciding factor in the bigger fight as well.
Zemo has his crew stuffed with big beefy guys and his opening shots hit hard and fast and nearly took down the Avengers before they really knew what was going on.
But like Captain America warned Zemo, underestimating Wasp because she’s not ‘powerful’ is a dumb stupid mistake for idiot babies.
Wasp has gone through the darkest hour of despair and found hope. She triumphed over what was intended to be the knockout blow.
And now it’s time for Wasp to make some moves.
I’m decently excited about this story arc.
There hasn’t been letters pages included on unlimited for a while but I’d like to think that the readers of the time were decently excited too.
Next time: more of this.
Follow @essential-avengers because I have been waiting to get to this story for so long. You don’t even know. Like and reblog maybe? Doctors say its better for the heart than getting beaten up by supervillains. That’s not a threat, just an observation that Hercules should avoid getting beaten up by supervillains for the sake of his health.
32 notes
·
View notes
THE BEASTMASTER (1982) – Episode 255 – Decades Of Horror 1980s
“Dar, the gods have put that mark on you, and someday, you’ll find out why.” So sayeth the gods, “That’ll leave a mark.” Join your faithful Grue Crew – Bill Mulligan and Jeff Mohr along with guest host Renee St. Aubin – as they discuss somewhat of an Eighties legend, The Beastmaster (1982).
Decades of Horror 1980s
Episode 255 – The Beastmaster (1982)
Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel!
Subscribe today! Click the alert to get notified of new content!
https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine
Gruesome Magazine is partnering with the WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL (https://wickedhorrortv.com/) which now includes video episodes of Decades of Horror 1980s and is available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, and its online website across all OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop.
An infant king is rescued from a priest’s ritual sacrifice and raised in a humble village. In time, he learns he has the power to communicate with animals and when the priest’s followers destroy his village, he uses his power in a quest for revenge.
Directed by: Don Coscarelli
Writing Credits: Don Coscarelli, Paul Pepperman; Andre Norton (1959 novel)
Music by: Lee Holdridge
Cinematography by: John Alcott
Editing by: Roy Watts
Production Design by: Conrad E. Angone
Selected Cast:
Marc Singer as Dar
Tanya Roberts as Kiri
Rip Torn as Maax
John Amos as Seth
Joshua Milrad as Tal (as Josh Milrad)
Rod Loomis as Zed
Ben Hammer as Young Dar’s Father
Ralph Strait as Sacco
Billy Jayne as Young Dar (as Billy Jacoby)
Janet DeMay as Witchwoman #1
Christine Kellogg as Witchwoman #2 (as Chrissy Kellogg)
Janet Jones as Witchwoman #3
Tony Epper as Jun Leader
Vanna Bonta as Zed’s Wife
Kim Tabet as Sacco’s Daughter
Daniel Zormeier as Winged Creature Leader
Jim Driggers as Hanging Priest
Mick Thibodeau as Hanging Priest
Paul Reynolds as Tiis
Monty L. Simons as Zed’s Guard (as Monty Simons)
Bruce Paul Barbour as Marauder (as Bruce Barbour)
Diamond Farnsworth as Marauder
Linda Smith as Kiri’s Friend
Henry Carbo as Man in Cage
Jonathan Gravish as Death Guard Priest
Don Heyn as Death Guard Priest
Larry Randles as Death Guard Rider
Vince Deadrick Sr. as Guard on Parapet
Tim Dunlavey as Young Villager
Join the Grue-Crew and special guest host Renee St. Aubin as they revisit the sword-and-sorcery cult favorite, The Beatmaster (1982), from Phantasm director Don Coscarelli. The cast includes Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, and John Amos. The film played so much on HBO that the acronym was jokingly referred to as, “Hey, Beastmaster’s On!” This film has it all: bat people, killer ferrets, black-dyed tigers, and much more. Casting choices that didn’t make the cut? Demi Moore as Kiri (played by Tanya Roberts) and Klaus Kinksi as Maax (played by Rip Torn). Could this be Jeff Mohr’s new favorite Eighties film? You’ll have to listen to find out.
At the time of this writing, The Beastmaster is available to stream from Amazon Prime and on physical media as a 4k Ultra HD Two-Disc Set from Vinegar Syndrome.
Every two weeks, Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror 1980s podcast will cover another horror film from the 1980s. The next episode’s film chosen by Crystal, will be House (1985). This one’s a double-tap with a different Grue Crew, seven years after Doc Rotten, Christopher G. Moore, and Thomas Mariani did it up.
Please let them know how they’re doing! They want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans – so leave them a message or comment on the Gruesome Magazine Youtube channel, on the Gruesome Magazine website, or email the Decades of Horror 1980s podcast hosts at
[email protected].
Check out this episode!
0 notes