#tox so called humor

[toxicanonymity]

raider read-through by @milla-frenchy

toxicanonymity: I'm so honored that you re-read him like this 🥹. This commentary is so impressive and generous. Note to readers, this is best if you're familiar with the stories. - most of the quotes are individual like if there are 4 lines listed they're not together in the story.

TRIGGER WARNINGS FROM EACH STORY APPLY: Raider Joel Master List

milla-frenchy asked (1.7k words):

Hey :)

I have so many fics to read but what do i do? I re re re re read Raider^^

I picked some moments in each chapter (I could write a thesis on this series lol)

Original

"Tired of you rookies," Miller says. "Show some respect."

The definition of irony

TOX: Yes, if you didn't know what the fic was about, you might think he's talking about respecting her 😳 all about himself.

The brutality in this chapter is impressive:

"Now, you're gonna suck this cock and you're gonna like it, understand?" He strokes himself and his brow furrows as he looks at you.

"Cause you don't want me passin' you to those guys, trust me."

“Where do you want it, sweet pea?” He squats down and fingers you.

“Good thing I kept ya all for myself. They would’ve ruined this pretty little hole.”

This chapter installs Raider's inflexibility and harshness. I like that he tells reader to look at him, thinking to the last chapters where he has now trouble watching her. TOX: Bingo. Raider's eye contact.

Failed rescue

This is the chapter where I find Raider the most "funny" I think. I love his dark humor and the nicknames he gives Jack (lover boy, Romeo, buddy...).

“Oh, she’s fine . . .” Joel says. 

"Doin' great, sweet pea. Pants off, now. Just like before."  He looks at Jack.  

"Same way as before?" Joel asks. Jack whimpers and you don't want to face him. 

"Well damn," Joel chuckles proudly. "Hear that? She wants the D," he says to Jack,

“Doin’ great, baby.  Now let’s show’m how good you take a real cock.” 

He's awful with Jack (but i love it) (but he's awful)

The whole passage with the guns establishes his dominance (the exchanges of guns he uses on reader, the places where he uses them)

Jack never does something against it. Of course he remains calm so that reader does not suffer consequences, but we do not imagine for a moment that he can put Raider in difficulty. Raider's humiliation towards him goes so far as to make him get naked.

Joel looks Jack up and down and smiles, bemused.  "Turn you on? . . . Get to it, then."  You wonder if Jack was aroused. Jack whimpers.   "Go on. It's there, might as well jack it." You don't know what to think about Jack being aroused. "Hell, finish before me and I might let you live."

He's so sadistic

"Takin' you with me," Joel pants as he fucks you. Then he thrusts deep inside you and stays there.  "I'll take care of ya. Won't let anyone touch ya"

THE kind of sentence that makes me melt, even when it's spoken by a guy capable of the worst

Stash house

One of my favorites

I love that he breathes her scent during the ride

My favorite passage: after he hits one of the men, he takes her in front of everyone else. It's horrible, but... Its power, its dominance are disconcerting. The whole scene is one of the most exciting thing I've read.

One sentence in particular is so hot for me:

Joel's massive hand holds onto the edge of the dirty mattress for leverage, another hand on your shoulder as he rails you for the third time today, harder than ever. 

I've read this sentence so many times! I like the precise description (and the position is hot)

Yet the way you describe it is not romanticized at all (maybe i I'm doing a disociation every time I read it, saying to myself no, the other guys aren't here)

Failed escape

The parallel between the men of Fedra and Raider was maybe the beginning of the Raider!PRtour^^ TOX: 😭

Raider who calls them animals always makes me laugh

The whole passage in the van, in this chapter, is sooooo hot

The stage where he undones his belt, unzips his jeans, then :

"You want this?" You nod almost imperceptibly, then he says, "Go ahead." You sink onto him with a soft gasp.  “That's right, take it," he says. He puts his hand over your mouth and pulls you down, breathing, "yes." Then he sighs "Ahh," as his girth parts your insides.  He has to use both arms and a thrust to bury himself entirely, then your body’s flush with his.

And

He inhales deeply through his nose and puts his arm flat on your back with his strong forearm resting along your spine and his hand firmly gripping the nape of your neck.  He forces you down, and you fold forward with your head near your knees.  Then he covers your mouth tight with his other hand.  His arm presses down on your back as his hips lift up into you.  He grunts as he erupts inside you. 

It's so hot, but frankly the whole journey, where she's impaled on his cock, is a hot masterpiece. (I already told you but I LOVE the way he holds her and makes her move) TOX: Thank you. I'm always a fan of being impaled on a cock and an anon said they got their first penetrative orgasm with this one.

The guy who calls him a maniac^^

He slides his hand between your legs and shoves his middle finger right inside you.

Once again he fingers her without warning (already in chapt 1), and each time I think what the hell? (as if the guy hadn't kidnapped and raped her, but the fingering with no preparation hell no...) (i know you wrote she was still wet but !) (I don't know why these moments shock me considering everything else lol)

Then two sentences that bring down the temperature immediately

“He can’t watch her 24/7 forever.”

And

"You're gonna have to be brave for me in a minute, baby."

I love backlash.

J. Miller

Carving and ass claiming in a single chapter. Wow. That's why you're the queen of depravity^^

I noticed a detail for the first time:

When he asks her a question that involves a choice, he either "congratulates" her (chap 1 when he asks her where she wants him « good girl », and chapter 2 when he asks her the same question « "Alright then," Joel nods in approval. "Let's see those titties.")

Either he responds in an "accommodating" way

"Wanna pick a side?” “No.” You’re too tired to think about it.  “You sure?” “I don’t care.” “Then we'll do both."

He is rather diplomatic and accommodating when he wants. Since the beginning. Well, yeah, doing both in not SO great, but i mean he doesn't get mad or degrade her verbally.

TOX: This is something I miss doing with him, making her choose what he's going to do to her or how. "We'll do both" kinda teaches her that she should choose or else. Now that she wants so much from him, it's not as common.

His remarks about the other girl, his threats :

"Careful, sweet pea. You'll get what you ask for and a whole lot more."

"Ya know, there was a girl at that house today. Sucked some damn good cock."

"Coulda left ya with FEDRA, taken her home. Woulda been easier."

"There's somethin' about ya, sweet pea." He looks concerned by what he's saying.  "Not everyday I make someone mine." He sighs.  "But god damnit, you better behave."

Make the chapter truly oppressive. The finale with ass fucking and overstimulation (he comes down on her just to have another one, as he told her) is so dark.

Home

What about some Chef Boyardee after a gentle first sodomy? TOX: LMAOOOO

This chapter is a roller coaster. After the violence of the previous chapter, he feeds her. Then she kisses him (would have done the same) and he pushes her away. Harsh. But totally understandable as to his psychology. TOX: and he gave her a little taste before he realized what he was doing. so we know he has it in him. . . one of these days he won't react that way 💗

Company

I think I was in almost the same state of mind as reader in this one, so afraid that he fucks the other (poor) girl

Joel unbuttons his pants and looks at the girl menacingly

He unzips his tight jeans and takes his semi-hard cock out.  He asks you, “Where should I put it?”

“Do you have to put it anywhere?” you whimper.  (this one made me laugh)

He spits on his fingers and turns to face you.  He keeps his knuckles facing you as he reaches back and slaps her pussy without looking at her. She yelps. He keeps his hand there and rubs her clit while he stares at you with his hard dick in his other hand. 

“Don’t stop,” Joel cautions.  “Or I’ll do it myself, and not with the gun.”

He’s facing her side and looking at you as he pumps himself.  He straddles one of her legs and you whimper.  He points his cock at her pussy, then he looks at you again as he strokes himself and comes on her ass. TOX: pretty animalistic in wanting to use his cum possessively.

So violent. Emotionally and physically

Close

“SWEET PEA!” "WHERE ARE YOU BABY?"

I love how he worried about her

He takes his hard cock out, gathers saliva in his mouth, then looks down to his lap and spits on it.  Then he wraps an arm around you, holding you into his chest, and lifts you up to get clearance.  He pulls your panties to the side and you gasp as he impales you. 

Hot

The hand that cradles your head begins to fist your hair.  He breathes vocally, then he groans as he forces you all the way down on his cock.  He keeps you down, with all of him inside you, filling you all the way up. 

HOOOOOT

And then his reaction when she tells him she loves him. We see that he is no longer the same as in Home.

The missionary ! <3 <3 <3

And the kisses, saying her nickname during his sleep <3 <3 <3

Gun hug

This one had a real impact on me, I took a big slap.

I liked the dialogue at the beginning of the chapter between the two of them. He who gets carried away, she who temporizes. It was interesting to read the exchanges.

Until the passage where he gets angry because she says no when talking about her chest. I thought, "Fuck, he's still so fucked up". We are facing two Raiders. The one when they met, and the one he probably thought was dead in him. And I think he realizes, more or less consciously, that he's still there, and that reader wakes him up. And he obviously doesn't know how to handle it at all.

TOX: Well put! The word "no" is a trigger to him here since it threatens his dominant identity. He's probably especially on edge Since we see a hint of guilt after he spanks her, hopefully this will improve.

The rest of the chapter is a Tarentino-style scenario with weapons, deaths, sex, all at the same time. Perfection !

And the end with the kiss on the forehead, where the chapter had almost begun with a spanking. Damn.

So many rollercoasters in this series. I love it :)

And i love reader so much, she's brave :)

Have a good day !

(Oh my god i got carried away :D)

TOX: Thank you!!! Have a beautiful day.

Now anyone who's sad or mad at him, read this and check out the raider!analysis and raider!PR tour tags lol.

Also check out this collage by Milla <333

#raider!ask #raider!analysis #tw noncon #tw dubcon #cw violence #toxic ask #submission #milla frenchy

[transxfiles]

there are very few wlw book rec lists on this site so i’m making one myself goddammit

anyway here are some wlw books i enjoy that you should read bc i’m wlw and i told you to. i tried to make it as concise as possible. each title has a link that leads to a site where you can buy the book online + look at the cover.

we are okay by nina lacour genre: realistic fiction, coming of age summary: marin's the only one left on her college campus during winter break, because marin's the only one who feels she has no home to go back to. between whatever happened with her grandfather and whatever happened between her and her... friend (is that what hannah is to her, anymore?) she'd rather just wait out the snowstorms on her own. but then hannah comes to visit her, and she's forced to figure things out for herself. why you should read it: wlw character whose story arc doesn’t revolve around being wlw but rather growing up and dealing with the death of a family member which is honestly really refreshing, some nice early college vibes i really like, generally just a nice fresh story. writing style is *chef’s kiss* content warnings: none.

the miseducation of cameron post by emily m. danforth genre: realistic fiction, coming of age summary: a book about the life of cameron post, starting with the first time she kisses a girl and following her through the premature death of her parents, summer swim meets, learning about what it means to be lesbian, getting outed and shipped off to conversion camp, and eventually straight up running away. why you should read it: written in a way that makes it easy to read, character voice is clear and fun, cameron is just incredibly relatable and i love her so much oh my god. the ending is so good its all so good i am literally begging you to read this book. content warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, parents who aren’t accepting, somewhat in-depth descriptions of conversion camp and mild conversion therapy, referenced recreational drug use, self harm and suicide of minor minor character but still potentially triggering. 

the pros of cons by alison cherry, lindsay ribar, and michelle schusterman genre: realistic fiction, humor summary: three girls enter three conventions going on in the same convention center; vanessa's there for the fandom con. pheobe's a percussionist on a school field trip to a band competition. callie's tagging along to her dad's taxedermy convention. naturally, the three meet, and shenanigans ensue. why you should read it: teenage lesbian character who is openly and comfortably lesbian and its a part of her identity and she’s chill with it?? yes!!! she has a crush on a nonbinary character??? double yes!!!! also generally a very funny book, and all the protagonists are wonderful. warnings: none.

laura dean keeps breaking up with me by mariko tamaki genre: realistic fiction summary: freddy can't figure out what's up with her... friend? girlfriend? laura dean. too focused on her own problems, she starts to distance herself from her friends and more important parts of her life. a beautifully drawn (this one's a graphic novel!) coming of age story. why you should read it: graphic novel so its a quick read, the art is stunning, the secondary characters are complex and have their own arcs and are a wonderful supporting cast, also we have yet another teen lesbian character who is comfortable with her identity and i love to see it. warnings: teen pregnancy mention and underage sex mention (between an adult and an older teenager)

wilder girls by rory power genre: horror summary: when the horrible virus called the tox first started infecting the girls at raxter boarding school, the government swore to help them. it’s been over a year now, and no cure has arrived. as more and more girls pass away with each passing day, hetty and her friends, reese and byatt, are determined to make it out alive. why you should read it: holy shit okay in general this is just so well written and compelling and the characters are strong and we got casually queer characters and yeah it’s great. don’t read if you want a happy ending, though. warnings: mild body horror and mild gore

keeping you a secret by julie anne peters genre: realistic fiction, romance summary: early 2000s lesbians baby!!! plus annoying stepsiblings who actually end up being pretty cool, dumping your douchebag boyfriend, and that spicy side dish of questioning your sexuality because the new girl at school? hot as fuck. why you should read it: if you want to read abt a protagonist having Feelings abt a girl for the first time and combating internalized homophobia, this is your book. if you don’t want bittersweet endings that aren’t exactly what you’d call ‘feel good’ i’d recommend you move on. an easy read (i tore through it in a day). warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, parents who aren’t accepting.

on a sunbeam by tillie walden genre: science fiction, adventure, romance summary: a ship floating through space, its crew’s job to restore old buildings among the stars. two girls at a boarding school, falling in love amidst the trials of academic life. slowly the two plotlines intertwine, intersect, become one. why you should read it: graphic novel and the art is so fucking stunning i can stare at it for hours, there are literally no men in the whole book just women and nonbinary characters and its never explained they just don’t exist in this world, science fiction but its written like fantasy, this whole book is just so fucking cool oh my god, also its free online bc it was originally a webcomic so uh you can read it here if you’re broke like me. warnings: none.

the difference between you and me by madeleine george genre: romance, realistic fiction summary: jesse is the founding (and only) member of the national organization to liberate all weirdos. emily’s the vice president of the student council... and she has a boyfriend. what happens as the two accidentally fall into an affair? why you should read it: it’s a quick read that keeps you on the edge of your seat a surprising amount for a realistic fiction teen romance type book, there is pining and it’s great, in general fun if you like the whole star crossed lovers type thing. plus we got some wlw’s being friends with each other which is refreshing! no forced romance between wlw characters. warnings: internalized homophobia star-crossed by barbara dee genre: realistic fiction summary: when twelve-year-old mattie signs up for the school production of romeo and juliet, she expects to have some fun with her friends and learn a bit about acting. what she doesn’t prepare for is falling for gemma, the funny, smart, and beautiful girl the director’s cast as juliet. mattie’s never had feelings for a girl before; between balancing her theatre and her new crush, she’s in for quite the school year. why you should read it: written at the middle grade reading level so it’s easy to get through. also no internalized homophobia from wlw protagonist which is wonderful! there tends to be a lot of that in these types of books but in this one it’s more of a quick thought of “huh i’ve never had a crush on a girl before” and then “is this normal?” and then “bah i don’t care she’s fucking pretty” and honestly? same.  warnings: none. princess princess ever after by katie o’neill genre: fantasy summary: they’re two princesses and they’re in love and it’s a short graphic novel what more do you need.  why you should read it: they’re two princesses and they’re in love and it’s a short graphic novel what more do you need. warnings: none.

disclaimer: this list is obviously limited as it is contained to only books that i’ve read and that i was thinking abt at the time i made this post. fellow wlw’s please feel free to add on, but if you do i’d love it if you could add a short summary and any content warnings that might apply (as opposed to just saying a title and the rep in it).

#lgbt books #lgbt book recs #lgbt media #lgbt in media #we are okay #we are okay by nina lacour #nina lacour #the miseducation of cameron post #the miseducation of cameron post by emily m. danforth #book recs #the pros of cons #the pros of cons by Alison cherry Lindsay ribs and Michelle schusterman #laura dean keeps breaking up with me #wilder girls #keeping you a secret by julie anne peters #keeping you a secret #on a sunbeam #the difference between you and me #star-crossed by barbera dee #princess princess ever after #wlw #lesbian #bi #cricket.chatterbox

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Books I’ve Read in 2020

AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars! 

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!

Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)

#I'll keep this list updated! #am reading #bookblr #IA talks #I've mostly read books I've really liked this year! #then again I rarely finish books I don't like

[toxicnotebook]

This time on Toxie Yells About Books, a lot of light books- the majority of which I liked!

Hanukcats

IT’S SO CUTE

Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse

Deadpan dark humor paired with vintage illustrations. Might as well been called “We Made This For You, Tox”

All Black Cats Are Not Alike

KITTIES!! KITTIES

Proust Was A Neuroscientist

Great premise for a book, excellent research, but I did find it kind of hilarious that the author was so surprised that so many artists had insight into how the mind/the world worked. Art is based on observation, just like science! We just use those observations for different goals.

Regardless, I liked this book a lot, and I do agree that science and art should not oppose each other, but rather be complimentary.

Harley Quinn: Preludes & Knock-Knock Jokes

The jokes were funny, the art was good, and Harley Quinn was firmly in character. That’s all I need from a Harley book!

Bombshells Vol 3

I- you know what. Listen. Listen. I bought this for the Harley/Ivy subplot. I’m so biased towards this pairing that I know any review from me would be utterly useless. So let’s move on!

Flight Vol 2

Light on plots, heavy on good art. Regardless, it was fun! Pick this up if you’re in the mood for some pretty fluff

My First Kafka

You know what? Sure. Why not. The lovely illustrations are a nice bonus, too!

Hexed

God, this is so painfully of its time. In the mid-to-late 00s, there were a ton of dark urban fantasies that ALWAYS had a female witch or demon as the lead. The writers would try so hard to go against the 90s chainmail bikini babe that they overshot and wrote something equally as creepy. For some reason most of these comics had shots of their lead on the toilet, with some demon gremlin making a comment on how sexy it was as a joke. Or “joke”, depending on the writer. Why was this a trend. Why.

Not even Emma Rios art could save this. Avoid.

DC Meets Looney Tunes

Not as bad as I expected, but ultimately still meh.

#toxie yells about books #comics #reading #books

[garryspolicememories]

                                        Policing Memories of

              Garry Crawford Circa 1962

                            Part VI

     I have attached a photo  of members of our 1963 Recruit Class No. 6 at the Aylmer Police College. The class consisted of members of Municipal and OPP forces from all over Ontario. It was amazing how the class members bonded over the term of the class. One of the humorous stories I remember happened on a day when we were taking PT training outside. Someone spotted a Jackrabbit. We decided as a group we would try to catch it. It was a big jackrabbit. We formed a big circle and slowly started to make it smaller. The rabbit ignored us at first but as we got closer it froze.  The circle was down to about 10 feet in diameter, when he decided to move. I did not think he could move that fast. He took two bounces, one on the ground and one on one of the fellows back and he was gone. We had quite a discussion later. We were thinking what would have happened if one of us had caught the rabbit. The have exceptionally long legs and sharp claws. I think it would have been something like grabbing a wild cat by the tail.

     It was around mid June that we had our graduation ceremony and all headed back to our respective postings. I was especially excited as I was returning with all of this new knowledge. My wife had presented us with another boy, and we had a new house. It was a busy weekend, packing up our family and moving back to Warren. I had not mentioned that the new house had no water in it. The facilities consisted of an outhouse that was attached to a woodshed fastened to the back of the house. There was a raised walkway from the back door through the woodshed to the outhouse, but that was as modern as it got. The previous owners did not have a well, but had a cistern in the basement that they had collected rainwater in. It was then pumped to the kitchen sink. There was no water now. The town of Warren had just recently installed a water system from a drilled well. There was a water line that crossed the front of our property. We did not have money for a backhoe. So I had to work with what I had. I think it was my first day in the house and I got out my shovel and started digging a trench for the water line from the house to the water line. I remember I had just started when my boss Dick Wood appeared on the scene. He asked if I had a second shovel and the two of us went to work. It was starting to get dark when we finished and I still have to smile when I remember the look on Dick’s face as I reached down and gave him a pull out of the ditch.

     Within a couple of days we had hot and cold running water in the house. I made a septic system for the sink and a new automatic washing machine with two well tile and about five feet of perforated pipe. Not quite by todays standards, but it worked. We bought the washing machine and had the installation done by Chuck Drimmie a tradesman who lived down the street and sold and installed appliances. I believe at that time he also looked after the town water system.

     I served a total of nine years at Warren Detchment as a Constable and had many an interesting adventure. One that comes to mind concerned another citizen who lived north of Hwy 17 in the Markstay area. We will call him Ziggy for the purposes of this story. He lived alone on a small farm. He was of Scandinavian decent. He only had one arm, the other was off between the shoulder and the elbow. I had met him on one of my patrols in the back country. I found out later that he had lost the arm as the result of a suicide attempt. He had attempted to shoot himself in the chest, had instead shot himself in the arm. His best friend and neighbour, Joe who lived across the road had heard the shot and gone to investigate. Ziggy was attempting to drink fly tox when he found him. Ziggy survived but lost his arm. Some people will read this and think that I am kind of a callus person and perhaps I am, but I have learned to not be too judgmental of these things. It is human nature to be depressed at times, how you are able to handle it depends on what you can do to prevent that feeling of loneness. I believe that anyone is susceptible to depression and if the circumstances are right we could take the easy way out, or should I say the perceived easy way out. To get on with the story I have attached a second photograph that shows the actual two chairs that Ziggy and Joe were sitting in one day having a little party. Joe was actually Ziggy’s brother-in-law from the old country. The marriage had not lasted. The two men are drunk and Joe starts teasing Ziggy about not being able to handle his sister. Ziggy suddenly grabs a paring knife off of the table and plunges it into Joes chest. He then pulls the knife back out and hands the knife to Joe, saying I stabbed you, now you stab me.

     A long story short, I am dispatched, the ambulance is dispatched. Upon our arrival there are bubbles coming out the hole in Joe’s chest, we apply a battle dressing with vaselene applied to stop the air leakage. Joe goes to hospital and survives. I charge Ziggy with attempted murder. Ziggy pleads guilty to the charge and elects to be tried by Prov. Judge alone. The Judge hears all of the evidence then finds Ziggy guilty as charged. He fines him $500.00 and has him sign a bond to keep the peace be of good behavior and stay away from Joe. About a month later I am in the area and stop in to see how Ziggy is doing.

     Joe and Ziggy are sitting in the same chairs polishing off a bottle of wine. I could have charged Ziggy and taken him back to court, but I thought it was a waste of everyones time. I ask them if they had made peace with each other and they laughed and said they had. I spent a little more time with them then left. Years later I was stationed at Wawa, Ontario and had occasion to run into one of the old Constables from Warren. He advised me that things had remained calm between the two friends. However Ziggy had suffered a brain aneurysm while out in a field near his house. When he was found they discovered that he had cleared an area approximately 50 feet in diameter trying to pull himself along with his one arm. He know doubt wanted to survive.  

                     I Could Not Help But Laugh

     During the 1960,s Bootleggers  were still in demand. Warren Detachment like most others had their share of them. One of ours was Joe B. in Hagar. With Bootleggers the main thing was control. Joe B. got out of control when he started selling to the teenagers. We had to take action. The local dance hall was not too far away and I think old Joe thought he had too handy of a market to miss out. I had warned him a couple times about selling to minors. When he continued we started a surveillance on his residence; checking and finding the result of his sales following their contact. He was raided, liquor was seized and I charged him accordingly. Joe was 84 yrs. old. He had pretty good health and he attributed it to his medicine. The medicine consisted of a set of beaver castor in a mason jar sitting in a sunny window. He had poured a little whisky over the castors and just let it sit. He told me he took a teaspoon full every day.

     Joe was not too pleased with me for charging him, but when the court day arrived he did appear in the Sudbury Court before His Honour Judge Tony Falzetta. Judge Falzetta was one of the best judges in my opinion I ever testified before. The proceedings were into full swing and those involved were testifying as to their observations and involvement. I had completed my testimony but Joe B. had interrupted me on several occasions. The Judge had admonished him each time. It was obvious he was not going to stop. The Judge was being as lenient as he could but wanted the interruptions to stop. He instructed me to stand behind Mr. B and when I seen he was going to interrupt, I was to just tap Joe on the shoulder. I did as instructed and when the officer on the stand made a statement Joe did not want to hear he jumped to his feet and objected. I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and yelled at me: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME I AM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE!

     I bit my lip the judge pounded his gavel and we had a ten minute recess. Poor old Joe B. was convicted when we resumed. If I remember correctly he obtained a $50.00 fine. I am not sure but I may have given him a ride back to Hagar. Such was justice in those days.

[concussed-to-pieces]

As Usual

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Unnamed OFC

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Business!Baron, what's not to love? Tagging our usual suspects of @tox-moxley and @oraclegazes, as well as the head of the Baron's Bitches Pack, @writergrrrl29 and but of course it would not be Thirst Party Saturday without our Steerforth, @hardcorewwetrash! Enjoy!

Baron Corbin didn't like to think of himself as boring. Sure, he worked in an office, and yeah, he wasn't exactly at the head of the excitement parade, but boring? He and his girlfriend worked long days, wasn't much they could do when they got off of their respective shifts. Normally once Baron escaped his soul-sucking cubicle and fought through the traffic to get home he was more than ready to throw on some sweatpants, cuddle with his already-sleeping girl and conk the fuck out until six the next morning  when he had to wake up and do it all over again.

“Dude, face it. You're the most boring guy I know. Boring Corbin.” Jack snorted, leaning over Baron's cubicle. “You come here early, you work late because everyone else is slacking off...obviously you have no life if you're willing to devote that kind of time consistently to your job.”

“I don't recall asking, Swagger.” Corbin drawled, turning his chair around to give the tall blond a long-suffering look. “Speaking of me working while everyone else is slacking off, shouldn't you be making copies or something?”

“Fair enough.” Jack held up his hands in surrender. “Look I'm only thaying...saying something because I'm worried, alright? You're one of the few people I can actually joke with around here and you've been burning the candle at both ends for so long, man.” Baron grimaced. Jack, seeming to sense his weakness, carried on eagerly. “You don't take sick days, you don't take vacations. What the hell do you do for fun?”

“I definitely do take vacations, I took one last...” Baron paused, doing the mental math. “...two years ago.”

“Oh whoop-dee-do, the two days you took off for that concert. What, did you have fun and hate every second of it?” Jack needled, making Corbin laugh a little ruefully.

“Far from it, man. I could barely peel myself out of bed afterwards, even with the extra day off. Hell of a time in the pit, you know how it is.”

“So what's the deal, man? Take a day off. Call in thick. Fucking...sick.” Jack tended to speak slowly. When he got excited his lisp flared up more often, which seemed to frustrate him. “Take your girl on vacation. I'm sure she could use a break too. From what you've told me she's just as crazy as you are.”

“You're not wrong there.” The long hours she was spending in her own office came to mind and Corbin's brow furrowed. “I'll think about it, Swagger.”

Jack looked relieved, leaning over the cubicle to whack a large hand down on Baron's shoulder. “You're a good man, Charlie Brown.”

Baron snorted, waving him off and returning to his work. He couldn't seem to focus though, his thoughts drifting to his girlfriend. Today was her one day off a week. Hope she's doing something fun and not working from home again. Her boss was so hard on her. Baron knew he was lucky because he answered to a variety of individuals and he was up there on the authority ladder. His girlfriend's office was arranged a little differently where everyone only answered to one man, and he didn't seem the lenient sort.

I'll call her on my lunch break. Baron decided. Excitement flooded him, the feeling foreign. God, it had been a while since he'd relaxed. We're going to get away. A few days, a week. Something like that. Maybe go someplace new. Anything. I’m so tired of this, Baron realized. Working and working and working because I don’t think I have any other options. Well, not anymore! He shoved his chair back from his desk, got to his feet and headed for HR. A good starting point would be finding out how much leeway he had. Plus, it wasn’t like he couldn’t manage his workload for the day.

…

Baron was in a daze after finishing with Bayley in HR. Apparently he’d accrued over two months of vacation time, and since he’d never opted into the program of having them take eighty hours of it and put it into his check every New Years it had kind of just…sat there, not doing anything.

Miscommunication on his part, no doubt. Bayley’s sunshine-y attitude could be exhausting on a good day, so he tended to avoid HR like the plague and he usually deleted the emails without reading them. He wasn’t an “Ice Cream Social” or “Ugly Sweater Party” kind of guy. But the distress on Bayley’s face when she realized he was uninformed on their vacation time policy made him feel…just a little guilty. Maybe Baron would humor her more in the future. Once he’d recovered from the information overload of I have free time holy shit I have free time.

Corbin sat down heavily in his office chair, leafing through the packet Bayley had printed off for him. Yeah, he definitely needed to start paying attention to those emails. Most of this information was stuff he’d never seen before. Of course, he’d started working here back when Vickie was in charge of HR. Baron still couldn’t help his cringe whenever anyone said, “excuse me!” near him. He’d never been more eager to escape from an orientation in his life.

The excitement he’d felt before going to HR was multiplying. Baron could hardly believe this. Now all he would need to do is figure out when his girlfriend would be able to get time off as well. They could go camping, maybe see a concert! Or visit Florida, she loved warm places. What about an island? Bermuda? Hawaii? His mind ran rampant, ideas quickly filling his memo pad. How's that for boring, huh? If Baron was being honest he barely cared what they did, as long as he did it with her. She had been down for a while as much as she denied it, and Baron had been at his wit’s end for a solution. But here, here it was, staring him in the face. A vacation, a real one, with hotel rooms, phones turned off and shit like that. It was foolproof.

Instead of eating his lunch in his cubicle like he usually did, Baron picked up his bag and headed for the elevator. He’d call her on his lunch break and hopefully get a little input. Upon sliding his phone out of his pocket though, he was confused to see that he’d missed a call from her at some point. There were the usual texts from her in the morning, hey Beast, hope work is going okay. You left even earlier today, I hope everything is alright. Baron winced. Then came the funny ones, Sasha and I have decided we’re killing Enzo and dumping his body in the river. Oh whoops, I think that counts as premeditated. You won’t tell, right Beast?

She’d left a voicemail when she called, she never did that. It must be important. Corbin worriedly pressed the phone to his ear, hitting the elevator button for the street level.

“--miss you, Beast...” The message began in the middle of a sentence, a gasping plea following her usage of the teasing pet name she'd given him. Baron’s mouth went dry. There was a quiet whimper, rustling, a low, static buzz that settled in Baron’s bones like fucking liquid heat. He was pretty sure his face was neon. This was…

This was something new.

“God I wish you could touch me like this more.” Her voice was breathless, “Baron please, please, I need you-”

Baron had all but forgotten he was in an elevator, jumping when the doors rolled open. He hastily scrambled across the foyer and burst through the doors to the parking lot, phone still vised to his ear via his shoulder. He felt clumsy, like he was in a dream, loosening his tie as he walked to his car and unlocked it.

She wasn’t talking anymore, just softly moaning and it was way more arousing than it should have been to hear the quiet buzzing in the background. He knew exactly what she was fucking doing to herself. She was always so sensitive when it came to him touching her, squirming underneath his mouth or hands, and it had been a thousand times more intense when he'd used the wand on her. She'd come fucking screaming his name, her nails cutting into the skin on his shoulders and drawing blood. It had been one of the hottest things Baron had ever experienced, watching her lose control, coaxing multiple orgasms out of her with the toy and his body working in sync.

That was a distant (if incredibly pleasant) memory, though. They hadn’t had sex in almost a month, their schedules too chaotic and both of them exhausted when they were together. They slept in the same bed every night, sometimes they showered together in the morning. Slow, sleepy kisses in between yawns underneath the too-cool-to-be-comfortable shower spray, husky mumbles of “how’d you sleep?” over cups of coffee.

It was the little things that had kept them going even after the exciting newness of the relationship had worn off, Corbin was sure. She’d slip notes into his bag when she made their lunches (made your favorite, for my favorite Beast!) and he always made sure there was enough hazelnut coffee in the morning for her to fill her travel mug for work. On Baron’s one day off a week, if they needed it, he would go out and get groceries, do laundry. He was still abysmal at folding shirts so they wouldn’t wrinkle, but for her it seemed to be the thought that counted. On her one day off a week she would give the house a once-over, maybe change the sheets. Baron always felt the need to apologize for his shedding, although she said she liked his hair long because it was easier--

Baron shook himself. Shit, he’d almost started stroking his cock over his pants. Easy boy. This was a treat, definitely. One that he wasn’t going to waste on a fucking parking lot. Corbin took a deep breath to steady himself and then saved the message.

A couple more breaths, inhale, exhale.

Her call had been preceded by a text that was just a jumble of letters, like she’d laid on her phone. It had been accidental.

Baron didn’t know what the hell to do with that information. Should he delete the message? It wasn’t something she’d intended for him to hear. But it sounded amazing. He decided, after a few more deep breaths, that calling her back was the best course of action. If she brought it up…

Well, he’d burn that bridge when he got to it.

“Hi Beast! How’s work?” She seemed okay. Cars in the background. She was probably working in her little garden. Baron wanted to be suspicious, but the mental image of her with dirt smudged on her nose sparked that weird domestic part of him and he found himself relaxing.

“It’s pretty good, honestly. I um, I talked with HR, baby girl. I have a lot of vacation time saved up and I was just…well, I was wondering if you’d like to do something?” Corbin wasn’t sure why the hell he was having such a hard time being articulate. “You wanna’ go on a trip with me?”

“Really?!” She sounded thrilled. It lit a fire in Baron’s stomach and he only barely kept from fucking growling in satisfaction. “That’s--I mean yeah! Absolutely! Where do you think we should go? When?”

“I know you like the warm places. I was thinking maybe...Bermuda, something like that.” Baron paused. “I’m tired of not seeing you, or only getting to hold you when you’re asleep. I miss you, baby girl.” He didn't mean for it to sound so fucking mushy, what the hell was wrong with him?

“I was just thinking about you earlier. I worry about you. You work too hard, Baron.”

Baron barely kept from saying you’d better have been thinking about me earlier, biting his lip. “I know baby. I’m finally going to have some time off, though. This means you do as well. Pot, kettle.”

She laughed. “I was that obvious, huh? It’s been tough at work. I’ve needed this day off like you wouldn’t believe. Wow, a real vacation though! I can’t wait to get everything all planned. Are you excited?”

“You bet your ass. I love…spending time with you, baby girl.” Shit, shit. They’d been dating for over a year but they had yet to say the words that everyone put such gravity on. It was simpler that way. She’d moved in with him six months ago when he’d offered. That was like saying it without having to, right? He was just…leery of fucking everything up with his big mouth.

Even with all the time they spent apart she was the best part of his day. God forbid he say those words and have shit go sideways.

It was simpler that way. I'm already her Beast. It's enough.

She didn’t have to know that he loved her, didn’t have to know about all the times he said it quietly when she was asleep. It hurt less when he did that, breathed it into her hair while she curled up in his arms like she would be his forever. It's simpler that way, he told himself. Hurts less that way. God, he was too sentimental.

She’d gone quiet and Baron became nervous. “You okay, baby girl?” She knows, I’m so fucked.

“I’m thinking, Beast! Just…all the stuff we can do! Anything, everything!” She practically exploded, making him laugh in relief. “I’m so excited I could scream, I can’t wait until you get home tonight! I’m--I’m gonna’ stay up late so I can see you and we can plan stuff out!” She made a squealing noise and Baron grinned.

“Alright baby girl. What time do you need to work tomorrow? I’ll see if I can get out a bit earlier tonight.” Like maybe on fucking time at five, instead of at nine because everyone else is slacking off.

“Fuck what time I work tomorrow! You’re threatening me with a vacation!”

Baron was reminded all over again of why he was hopelessly, ridiculously in love.

…

Swagger of all people offered to finish his work for him so Baron could leave at four. “I’m just glad you listened to me, man.” Jack had said with his usual whack on the shoulder. “Go make her happy, tiger.”

Baron was home by five, the traffic a bit more manageable at this hour. She actually met him at his car, bounding to her feet from her spot in the dirt out front. Shortly after she'd moved in with him she had hesitantly asked about the bare 'problem' patch practically in the middle of the lawn. Baron had willingly handed it over. Shit, he scolded her for asking. “What’s mine is yours, baby girl.” There, she had started her little garden, which was jam-packed with a variety of flowers he couldn't remember the names of and bordered with hosta. He only remembered the hosta because she made a point to tell him it was the 'wolverine' variety. “It's the best there is at what it does, Beast.” She had said with a big goofy grin. Baron recalled rumpling her hair and affectionately referring to her as his 'fucking nerd'.

That naked area had been there since before he’d bought this house, a ‘fixer-upper special’. He had more important things to worry about than proper grass coverage, like the pipes that leaked in the basement or the faulty wiring in the kitchen. After a particularly exciting microwave experience, he’d taken to YouTube and managed to fix the wiring himself. He’d thought the smell of burnt plastic would never leave him, but a few bracing shots of whiskey had finally put it to rest.

He ended up calling a professional for the leaky pipes. No sense in flooding his basement on top of nearly electrocuting himself.

She poked her upper body through the window of his car before he could even cut the engine, wrapping her arms around his neck as best as she could. “Mm, hey baby girl.” Baron mumbled contentedly into her chest. It had been ages since he’d seen her awake, really awake. He had missed it more than he thought he would.

“I missed you.” She said, kissing his forehead and smiling down at him. “How did you get out so early? The sun's still up! I guess I have to rethink my suspicion that you're secretly a vampire instead of a prince in disguise, huh?”

“Swagger practically threw me out, said I needed to get the hell home.” Baron laughed, giving her a gentle push back so he could actually roll up the window and open the car door. “So let’s make some sandwiches for dinner, then I can sit on the steps while you do your plant thing.”

She nodded rapidly, moving in for another hug and then squeaking in surprise when Baron hefted her up in his arms. “H-Hey!”

“Shh, I haven’t carried you in ages.” Corbin nuzzled his nose against hers, making her giggle. “What’d you do today, baby girl? Anything fun?” Baron only just kept from snickering when she went bright red.

“Nope! I mean, just uh, picked up, gardening stuff. Boring stuff. You wouldn’t be interested.”

Boring? “Mm, I dunno’ about all that.” Baron couldn’t help the way his voice dropped lower. “You sure I wouldn’t be interested, baby girl?”

He’d listened to the full message she’d left on his ride home, slacking the fabric of his tie when he couldn’t take it strangling his throat anymore. God, the way that she sounded had him growling and tightening his grip on the steering wheel, more than eager to get back home. But just because she’d been in the mood earlier didn’t mean she was in the mood now. If anything, because of how sensitive she was she might not be able to handle him at this point.

So Baron waited, luxuriating in the way that she stammered and fluttered her hands over his shirt and suit coat while he shouldered open the front door. Felt like it had been forever since she’d touched him. “I’m hungry, baby girl.” He said quietly, interrupting her half-words.

“Baron I can’t make sandwiches unless-”

“Mm, not for food.” Today was just a growling kind of day, apparently. “I’ve missed you, baby girl. Do you have any idea what your little voicemail did to me for the rest of the day?”

“Voicemail?” She looked confused.

Baron was going to fucking die. He kissed her forehead and set her down on her feet, patting her ass as an afterthought. She yelped, swatting his arm. “Baby girl, baby girl.” Corbin cupped her jaw, thumbs stroking her soft skin. “You left me a surprise. A teasing, wonderful fucking surprise. I haven’t been able to focus for most of the day, all I could think about was you fucking yourself and begging for me.”

“Oh no, no I didn’t--” Her face heated beneath his hands. “I couldn’t have.”

“Check your call log, baby girl, because you definitely did.” Baron affirmed, grinning. “I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you. Our schedules have just been so hectic…”

“I didn’t want to ask because I know you’ve been working hard.” Her voice was small. “I can take care of myself.”

Baron’s smile faded. “Baby girl, I don’t work harder than you. You have needs just like I do, and as your boyfriend it’s kind of part of my job to try and help take care of them. Because I--“ He paused. “I uh. I...you being happy means a lot to me.”

“I know that, you know? I think the guilt is just hardwired in. I really...a voicemail?” She covered her face with her hands when he nodded, groaning. “How embarrassing. Did I say something dumb? Oh God I bet I did, shit--”

“You kept begging for me to touch you.” Just thinking about her voice cracking with need was enough to get Corbin’s motor running all over again. “I’ve never heard you beg like that before, baby girl.”

She made another distressed noise, peeking out from between her fingers up at him. “I…”

Baron knew he was definitely treading on thin ice here, advancing on her and making her back up until she hit the kitchen counter. He trapped her with an arm on either side, resting his hands on the counter and knocking his forehead gently against her own. She refused to make eye contact, staring at his chest like she was trying to burn a hole through his dress shirt. “Baby girl I loved it. Please don't be embarrassed.” Corbin begged. “I'll delete the message, I just-” His hands clenched into fists. “Fuck, I need to know whether you want more. I need you to tell me whether you want more. Please.”

“I...” She looked like she was going to cry and Baron couldn't fucking handle that, wrapping her in a fierce hug and burying his face in her hair.

“I'm sorry, shit, I'm sorry, baby girl I-” Her fingers tugged at his phone in his pocket and Baron flinched back, startled. “Baby?”

“Let me hear the message.” It wasn't a suggestion.

Baron fought with the phone for a second, the thick rubber casing preventing him from easily getting it out of his pocket. He unlocked it and then handed it over wordlessly.

“Voicemail password.” She said after a second of holding the phone to her ear. Baron, once again, cursed himself for being so fucking incredibly sentimental. It killed him to admit it, even to her. He mumbled out the date that they had met and was greeted with a soft smile. Then, her eyes went wide and she quickly pulled the phone away from her ear. “Yeah okay, yikes. That's me alright.”

“Toldja'.” Baron said weakly.

“I jacked the thing up to high and it made me fucking spasm. I'm not as good with it as you are yet. Have to get the hang of it.” She said. Baron noticed her press her thighs together.

“Do you...” Corbin swallowed. “Do you want more? Was earlier not enough, baby girl?”

“I don't want to be greedy, Baron.” She huffed in reply.

Corbin had officially had enough, scooping her up and sitting her on the counter. “If you want more, you get more. Simple as that.” One large hand cupped her mound over her leggings and he felt the heat of her core even through the material. “Christ, baby girl.”

“So I...might not have come earlier.” She admitted after a few breathless seconds of Baron stroking her lightly through the fabric. “I tried, but I'm...I'm not as good as you yet and then I was just all numb but too sensitive to try anymore, so--”

“Baby girl.” Baron snarled, settling in between her legs. “That's not fucking acceptable. Do you hear me? Not. Fucking. Acceptable.” Her fingers dug into his hair, pulling out the elastic and tossing it aside. Baron's growl was inevitable when she started running her fingers through his long locks. He always felt more like an animal when he was framed by her thighs with her hands in his hair. Corbin peeled her leggings off, leaving them in a tangled mess around her ankles. She hadn't been kidding about not coming earlier, her panties were fucking soaked through. “Baby girl, Christ, these can't be comfortable.” Baron protested, easing them down her body.

She just whimpered, her grip tightening on his hair and dragging him back down. Her slick had coated her thighs and Baron took his time cleaning it off with his tongue, tender strokes that had her panting and wriggling underneath him while his facial hair tickled her skin.

Boring, huh? I'll show you boring.

He was flooded with satisfaction at her lively response, spreading her cunt open with his fingers. She'd said she was too sensitive to try more with the vibrator. The heat alone of Baron's mouth startled a full-body shiver out of her, the large man gently licking his way across trembling, too-hot skin. He knew he had to be careful but shit, the way she moved made him want to pin her hips to the counter and fucking devour her until she screamed. She always tasted so fucking good. Her pussy spasmed in little pulses underneath his mouth, her arousal coating his chin and facial hair where she bumped against him.

“Is that okay? Too much?” Baron finally asked, making her whine out when he paused his long, flat-tongued caresses.

“No, nonono don't stop Beast please--” She begged, fingers fucking twisting in his hair.

“Baby girl, fuck. Look at you, my little flower opening up for me. God I've fucking missed you.” In their most intimate of moments Baron would usually end up growling animalistic nonsense whether he wanted to or not, unfocused on holding the noises back while he worked her over. “Mine.” The sound she made when he circled his tongue around her clit was one that he hadn't heard in ages and Baron repeated the motion. He was unable to keep from smirking against her when she grabbed his hair and fucking yanked it, pulling him to the side that she preferred him on. “Yeah, put me where you need me baby girl, put me where you fucking need me.” Baron ordered. He loved it when she took control of her own release, loved it when she would manhandle him a bit.

“Baron, m' gonna' come, oh fuck, Baron I can't-” Her hips jerked up against his face and Corbin urged her even closer.

“That's right baby, that's right, come on my tongue, come on my fucking tongue.” He demanded, snarling it against her. “Soak my fucking face baby girl, fucking do it, do it, do it--” Something about his fever-pitch repetition always seemed to do it for her, his words no longer a command but softening to a chant of adoration as he felt her come. “That's right, that's right, Jesus fucking Christ baby girl, that's right.” Corbin crooned, her pelvis rocking lazily back and forth while he ghosted his tongue over her clit in barely-there flicks. “Better than the vibrator? Or could I use some work?” He asked after a few seconds, laughing breathlessly when she gave him an open-handed swat on his cheek. “Ow, yikes baby girl.”

“You're ridiculous. I'm not done with you yet.” She panted, taking a handful of his hair and wrapping it around her palm. “I need you in me.”

Baron grunted when she tried to pull him to a standing position with just his hair. “Easy, easy. You just came, don't you want to-”

“I have been waiting, Beast.” Her voice cracked. “Dealing with all kinds of shit at work, falling asleep before you even get home at night because of how done I am. I shower with you in the mornings and I miss you the whole day but by the time I get home it's all I can do just to unlock the door and-”

Baron fucking rumbled, feeling the noise in his chest as he nodded. “I know, baby girl. We're gonna' take a vacation. I promise. Just you...” He kissed her stomach. “...and me...” Another kiss. “...someplace warm and sunny.”

“P-Please--” There she was again, there was his sweet little flower. Legs falling open on either side of him, begging, welcoming him home.

The rush of affection that hit Baron at the sight threatened to overwhelm him, and-- “I fucking love you.” Baron blurted out before he could stop himself. He froze, feeling her grip on his hair slack off to nothing. No, no God dammit. Baron closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to rest on her stomach, feeling like the world's biggest idiot.

Her hands cupped his jaw.

“M' sorry.” Corbin mumbled against her stomach, mentally bracing himself for the impact.

“Beast...”

“Fuck I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby girl let me explain, I-” His words clipped off into a confused grunt as she held his mouth shut, one hand beneath his chin and the other on the top of his head as she forced him to look up at her.

Her face was deadly serious. It would have been comical at any other time, her body still shining with sweat and eyes half-lidded from coming. “Did you mean it?”

Baron shut his eyes again, wishing more than anything that he wasn't so fucking sentimental.

“Answer me, Beast.” She released his jaw.

“Yeah.” He muttered after a few shaky breaths. “I did. I meant it. I...I mean it every time I say it, baby girl.”

“Thought so.” She replied simply.

Baron blinked. Thought so?

“I hear you at night sometimes. You thought I didn't know?”

“Well, I-”

“Your voice is kind of deep, Baron. Tends to at least wake me up a little bit.”

“-I thought-”

“Mmhm, I'll bet you did. I bet you thought too much is what you did.” She'd hit the nail on the head there, Baron realized with regret. “You've been all wrapped up in worrying about this and work, haven't you?”

“...yeah.” He admitted quietly. “I didn't-I didn't want to ruin...look, I don't know, some people aren't comfortable with saying that kind of thing and just because I am doesn't mean that you are and--”

“Baron, Baron.” She tugged him up a little, smiling as she pressed her forehead to his own. “My big, strong Beast. Even if you didn't say it out loud, I heard it every time. I hear it when you try to fold my shirts, I hear it when you get my favorite food, I hear it when you hold me after a long day at work and just let me sleep against you instead of making me talk about it. You're the best thing in my life, Beast. I love you, too.”

She was saying it the whole time. Understanding dawned on the large man. Her garden. The little things she's done to the house. Her notes, her texts. “Baby girl, I'm...shit, I'm dumb.”

“Yeah, maybe a little.” Her smile was smug. “But you're very poetic about it. Very...'Dread Pirate Roberts' or 'As You Wish' about it. Makes it more manageable.” She slid his zipper down. “I think you were about to do something for me, yeah?”

“Oh Christ, definitely.” Baron pulled her off the counter and turned her around, her ass slotting into his hips damn near perfectly while he struggled out of his suit coat. “Fuck, hopefully you'll be able to handle this, you need to tell me if you're too sensitive, okay?” Her reply was a haughty look over her shoulder and a wiggle of her hips, making Corbin swear and abandon trying to get his shirt off. “Baby girl, I'm not gonna' hurt you so knock it off with the tough kid shit.”

“I know you're not going to hurt me. I just want you to hurry up. I've been waiting for a little while.”

“Yeah? Waiting for this?” Baron's slacks and boxers got caught around his thighs but he didn't fucking care, palming his shaft and feeling his cock twitch heavily in his hand when she sighed. “I've been waiting all day for you, baby girl, dying to fill you right the fuck up. That what you want?” He knew the answer already but still waited until she nodded rapidly before pressing the head of his cock into her slick entrance. “Yeah, that's what you want, that's what you've been fucking waiting for.”

She arched her back, taking every inch of him as she bent over the counter and whined his name helplessly. Baron felt her cunt clench down on him, the realization that she was already coming knocking the wind out of his lungs. He rested his forehead in the space between her shoulder blades and focused on his breathing for a second, not moving as she bucked on his cock.

“Easy, baby girl, easy.” Baron gasped, realizing after a second that she wasn't planning on slowing down. He quickly wrapped his arms around her stomach, hoisting her just high enough so that her feet couldn't touch the floor. She made a noise of protest that went straight to his cock and Baron groaned, sliding one arm up between her ribs and the hard counter before starting to fuck into her mercilessly. “This what you fucking need, huh? Me just fucking hammering you? Take it then, fucking take it, take it, take it-” He snarled in her ear, his voice low and gravelly. “You're going to come again, baby girl. You're going to come and then I'm going to fill you fucking deep, got it? Beg me for it. Beg me.”

She started chanting his name and pleading, hips rolling as best as she could with her feet fucking dangling in midair, sneakers bumping the cabinets with every move he made. This was what Baron lived for, being bigger and stronger and able to get her off even without her help, better than anyone else ever had.

Boring? Fuck you.

“I love you Baron, God I love you so much.” She choked out, “Missed you, Beast-”

“I missed you too baby girl. I just...” Baron gritted his teeth against the growl that built in his chest to no avail. She fucking quaked at the noise, leaning up and wrapping an arm around his neck. Her fingers desperately grabbed a handful of his hair at the nape of his neck, making Baron keen at the sharp shock of pain. “Baby girl I fuckin'...Christ, I love you, I love you so fuckin' much baby girl--” His words dissolved and he resorted to groaning loud while she came around him. He barely kept from snapping his teeth into the soft skin of her shoulder, shit he hadn't marked her in a fucking month.

“Do it, please, please Beast.” Shaky fingers forced his mouth down into the perfect spot where her neck and shoulder joined. He tongued the area, tasting the salt-sweet of her skin before he sank his teeth in. A claiming bite, not to punish but to remind, more lips and tongue than sharp canines. Her pulse slammed under the surface beneath his mouth, still racing from her orgasm and Corbin snarled, losing his battle with his own release and sheathing himself as deeply as he could before coming. The whole while she kept breathing praises and how much she'd missed him into the side of his neck and Baron wasn't sure if he would be able to keep himself under control, hips twitching much longer than usual.

Boring. Heh. He could tell his voice was shot to shit before he even spoke. “You okay?” He managed to say, swallowing hard. The growling always left him completely shredded.

She nodded, nuzzling her face into his neck and sighing softly. “Tired. I love you.”

Baron felt his stomach twist at her words, unable to keep the dumb smile off his face. “I love you too, baby girl.”

“Mm, carry me to bed. We're officially sick and calling in tomorrow. I'm not fucking done with you yet, Beast.” She said firmly after a minute, making Baron chuckle at how adamant she sounded.

“I think that's a great idea, baby girl. After all, we have a vacation to plan.”

“I forgot, oh my God!” She started squirming in his grip and Baron quickly set her on the floor, giving her hips a worried once-over with his fingers. No bruises from the counter, just a mark where his watch had dug into her skin.

“I'm sorry, I should have--”

“Baron. Did you hear me complaining?”

“Well no, but-”

“Then it obviously didn't bother me. Where did my bag go, where is...” Watching her scramble around the kitchen half-naked was oddly soothing. Baron dragged his pants up and leaned back on the counter, more than content to enjoy the show. She finally located her datebook, opening it and laying it flat on the table. She started pointing to different weeks, going on about how this might work and I'll need Sasha to cover this. Baron just let her talk, busying himself with tugging her hair to the side and kissing up her neck. “Beast, hey, you're supposed to-” Her protest died when his teeth grazed the shell of her ear.

“I know. Tomorrow, okay baby girl? Tonight, though, I think I need to taste you again. If you're...amenable, that is.” Baron smirked into her neck.

“You're really going to call in?”

“If you do, absolutely.”

Her reply was yanking her phone out of her bag and firing off a quick text. “Done.” Her mouth was eager, arms flinging around Baron's neck and fingers tangling his dark hair as they kissed. “Now take me to fucking bed, Beast.” She breathed in between kisses.

“Whatever you want, baby girl.” Baron whispered back.

#Baron Corbin #baron corbin smut #baron corbin x OFC #thirst party saturday #Total PWP #business!Baron #behold all my weaknesses in one post #baron's bitches #for you!

[m0nstera-blog]

Ricky Watches | Mar 13-19

Grimm 06x10 | Blood Magic

After a series of brutal attacks in a local nursing home, Nick and Hank learn about euthanasia being practiced in the Wesen community. Eve asks questions to Adalind that only a Hexenbiest can give.

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Grimm has just three episodes left to tie up a whole lot of loose ends, but it seems to be doing a good job so far. I’m enjoying that, along the way, they haven’t sacrificed the smaller, one-episode plots in an attempt to cram everything they want in for the larger plot. (Though, this will likely be the last we’ll see of that.) This episode, of course, kept with the plot of Eve/Juliette and the Big Bad in the mirror - but also brought us a really compelling and somber sub-plot about dementia and dying with dignity, as well as the preservation of a way of life for a persecuted group of people that are just trying to do their best. In addition, the dynamic between Eve and Adalind has been really intriguing. Two women that were, not too long ago, bitter enemies and romantic rivals but are now warily cautious teammates? A very interesting pair not often seen on mainstream television, at least in a way that doesn’t involve sexism and cat fights. And then, of course, a little humor to make up for the box of tissues you just plowed through:

Eve having to shake one of the Hexen-books to get the letters to unscramble

The medical examiner shrugging off the tox screen results with “I suppose if any place was going to have a giant assassin bug, it’d be Portland.”

Rosalee panics and tells the Gevatter Tod that it’s her husband suffering from dementia as Monroe stares her down and then chugs some wine.

“Make sure your brother doesn’t fall off the bed. No making him float, either.”

Grimm 06x11 | Where the Wild Things Were

Nick finds a way to join Eve in the other place, while the gang reluctantly enlists Renard for help.

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The Scooby Gang pretty quickly realizes that Eve has gone rogue to ̶N̶a̶r̶n̶i̶a̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶U̶p̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶D̶o̶w̶n̶ The Other Place. This episode felt more like a set-up for next week than a stand-alone episode. We find out the prophecy, what’s probably going on (ick, child bride), what’s through the mirror, and finally we are full-circle from the beginning of the show. The keys, the magic stick, the cloth, the symbols, the mirror, the child with ridiculous powers. All is linked. Adalind offering to go through the mirror speaks volumes about her growth over the seasons. Though I do agree that, as a (possibly now single, if Nick doesn’t find his way back) mother, it’s definitely not something to be asked of her, Adalind volunteering as tribute is a stamp on the finished product of Bad Character Who Is Now Good. The heart to heart in the forest was overdo. Eve says she doesn’t blame Nick, and she wouldn’t change anything. The line "Happiness doesn’t interest me anymore, Nick. It just gets in the way,“ did make me a bit sad for Juliette. Eve has recently settled on a slightly more middle ground between the two - but she’s definitely not Juliette. I was really pleased that it didn’t end up with Nick going back to Juliette/Eve in some sort of destined to be together, endgame sort of way. Nick has moved on, Juliette is gone, and that’s where we are. No romantic happily ever after for them. And they’re okay with that. Once this season is over, I think I’ll need to rewatch the whole thing. Considering it’s been six years since I watched the beginning, the overarcing details are occasionally lost to me.

Humans are called “walking meat” in The Other Place? Jinkies.

The Schrodinger’s Cat analogy confused the bejeezus out of me. So because they went through, another dimension is no longer available? Or it might be a pre-life or afterlife, but not like in a heaven or hell type way? But sort of? And Skull Face might be the devil? What?

"I’m guessing this is your standard stone slab sacrificial altar.”

Seriously, though, did the whole show come down to a magic stick and a child bride?

Next: “ A dark force arrives in Portland with its eyes set on Diana; Monroe, Eve and Rosalee make a discovery that uncovers the origins of the mysterious stick; Hank and Wu are called to a crime scene that is linked to the gang’s greatest threat.”

Criminal Minds 12x14 | Collision Course

When pedestrians in Bradenton, Florida are critically injured following a series of car accidents, the BAU suspects that the vehicles involved in each accident were being controlled by a hacker. Meanwhile, Prentiss works with defense attorney Fiona Duncan (Jeananne Goossen) as Reid prepares to stand trial. Things take a turn for the worse when the Mexican authorities find the weapon of the crime. Reid refuses both the deals the prosecution offers him, and he’s denied bail.

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Welcome to Criminal Minds, where the stories are made up and… still completely terrifying. Criminal of the episode: car hacker. Hack the car, hack the smart phone, watch the horrified driver as they unwillingly run into a pedestrian. Fun for the whole family. (Seriously, though, stop making me nervous about things that will probably not be sci-fi in the very near future.) The unsub is a white male, in his mid- to late-twenties, who was repeatedly rejected by women. Next!

Criminal Minds 12x15 | Alpha Male

When several civilians are disfigured following a series of acid attacks in Philadelphia, the BAU sets out to catch an unsub who wants to make his victims feel as ugly as he does. Meanwhile, Reid struggles to adapt to life in prison after a guard with a grudge sends him to the general population, and makes a friend in Calvin Shaw, a former FBI agent with a dark past.

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This one glanced furtively in the right direction, and then ran away. (And yet I still chased it. I’ll never give you up, Criminal Minds!) This week, we have attractive young people getting hit in the face with acid. Early in the episode it was suggested that it might be a woman, or even multiple unsubs, but of course it was a socially awkward, white, twenty-something male with a severe case of But Why Would You Sleep With Him When You Could Have Me? What I do find interesting, though, is a detective show having a storyline - or even two, really - where the system is not working in the favor of those who are innocent. Reid being put in prison, unable to truly legally defend himself, for a crime he didn’t commit. Calvin Shaw, having to spend the rest of his life in prison for a decision he made in a lose/lose situation. Calvin’s status among the prisoners as the alpha male, and his reaching out to protect Reid, tie in nicely with the criminal of the week.

Criminal Minds 12x16 | Assistance is Futile

A mother steps forward with valuable information for the BAU to aid in their investigation of an unsub known as the bone crusher. Also, Reid must adapt to a new set of rules in prison life.

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I’m not gonna lie, I definitely fast forwarded through a few scenes on this one. Crunching bones is not my thing. -shudders- Of course the victims are women, and of course they’re tortured. In a slight shift in routine, the team actually knows who the perpetrator is pretty early in the episode - then it’s a matter of finding him. So, some people are speculating online that Reid was placed in general population as a plant. I’m… uncertain. I mean, this is the show that “killed” a main character and didn’t let her friends know it was fake, so, who knows. But I’ll be a bit upset for the team if they went through all this heartache for nothing.

Next:The BAU suspects that two unsubs are operating at the same time when victims killed in different ways are found in the same city.

Jane the Virgin 03x01 | Chapter Forty-Five

Michael is in critical condition fighting for his life in hospital, as we are given flashbacks to the start of Jane and Michael’s romance. Police question Petra (really her twin sister, Anezka) and find her acting suspiciously, and Jane and Michael’s mom finally learn to get along.

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Please excuse me while I sob into my tea.

Originally posted by rootxsam

Yes. I watched all of these in one go, so I don’t have much analyzing to offer. Next time I’ll pace myself. I will say, the flashbacks showed a relationship that I wasn’t really expecting. What I was expecting, I'm not sure. But it wasn't that. In addition, I’ve been spoiled on a development from later in the season, which has ruined me forever.

Jane the Virgin 03x02 | Chapter Forty-Six

When Rafael finally admits that he is over Jane, their co-parenting style is tested when they argue over what the best preschool is for Mateo. Xo is paranoid about Alba finding out her secret and what it will do to their relationship.

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Ouch. Jane had moved on from Raphael, of course, but that still has to sting. And Gina Rodriguez does such a good job with the slight facial expressions showing Jane feeling hurt, but trying not to look like she’s feeling hurt. I can’t remember ever seeing a show deal with a character getting an abortion as calmly and as casually as Jane the Virgin did. It was mentioned, it was a thing, and that’s that. No slut shaming, no fingernail-biting decision-making. Xo didn’t want to have kids. So she didn’t. End of story. (Well, not quite. Does Alba know? Uh oh.)

Jane the Virgin 03x03 | Chapter Forty-Seven

Jane continues to work on her thesis and she decides to add Alba’s estranged sister to the narrative, much to Alba’s dismay. In order for Rogelio to have a chance at being an American crossover star he decides to bring the Passions of Santos to The CW in hopes they will pick it up.

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Oh, this episode was exquisite. So good. The second hand embarrassment when Marlene gets the video, though, hurt me to my core. (I actually realized about as soon as she was sending the email what was about to happen, and just screeched from then until the reveal of yes-Marlene-saw-it and #yikes.) The back and forth about The CW - not quite breaking the fourth wall, but definitely giving it a solid kick - was a nice touch.

Jane the Virgin 03x04 | Chapter Forty-Eight

Jane and Michael’s housewarming party in their new home hits a snag when they discover they are being evicted for not paying their rent. Meanwhile, “Petra” shocks Rafael with what she wants to do with her shares of the hotel.

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This storyline actually caught me completely by surprise. The idea that Petra’s half of the rent might not be getting paid never occurred to me - so I was (almost) just as shocked as Jane and Michael when the realtor walked through the door. Speaking of Petra, the twins’ switcharoo storyline is just the right ratio of bonkers telenovella plot to actually plausible. The sweet spot that Jane the Virgin does so well in. (Also, I want Petra back.)

Next: Jane convinces Alba to let her read the letters from her estranged sister, but under the condition Jane doesn’t reach out to her family. Rafael is starting to suspect that something is different with Petra. Meanwhile, Michael and Rafael, with the help of Jane and Rogelio, try to create a civil friendship, but it doesn’t go as smoothly as everyone hoped.

Powerless 01x04 | Emily Dates a Henchman

After receiving a wedding invite from her ex-boyfriend, Emily finds someone to date. However, she doesn’t realize that her date is a henchman for the Riddler. Meanwhile, Teddy and Ron find a Batarang stuck to a safe door that Wayne Security is supposed to improve. Van, after learning about the Batarang, wants to use it to lure Batman to Charm City.

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It could be said that Powerless’ characters are rather two dimensional. It’s not an overly thought-engaging show, and honestly that’s why I like it. Cute, funny, upbeat - all things I need these days. There have been large time gaps - at least a few months have passed - so the sudden closeness with the group feels a little out of the blue, but it isn’t unappreciated. (Also, Robert Buckley from iZombie makes a most excellent henchman.)

Powerless 01x05 | Cold Season

While cold-themed villains rampage Charm City, Emily tries to convince Teddy to submit his super-heating gloves to an in-company competition for new inventions. Meanwhile, Van convinces Ron to assemble toys that’ll help him with his new girlfriend’s daughter.

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I really have nothing of substance to contribute for this episode.I really love this show.

Originally posted by colleenwing

Next: When Emily learns that Jackie is in need of some extra cash, she can’t help but try and do what she can to help her out. Meanwhile, Van is on a witch hunt and has his eyes set on Teddy, Ron and Wendy.

What did you think? Have you tried Powerless yet? Is Jane the Virgin making you cry like Titanic during shark week? Have you watched Emerald City? That's on my list. And why are detective shows so addictive, anyways?

until next time xo, ricky

#grimm #criminal minds #jtv #powerless #jane the virgin #cm #tv #tv review #ricky watches #mine

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    The Jedi Who Knew Too Much

            (Terrorize a                  woman)

               An adult

             Also wait       I thought they said no one was killed?.

             Like back near the ending they were like                 “he was the only one,”

                  [Working                         With?]

     ??

              So Force 

                That it was never ever brought up that they were dead or what happened to them or just whatever

                  ...    

               Oh joy a funeral 

              with a shade of                        Eugenics

                  Dear                        Frick

                 (This is why I hate    funerals; Bad enough that someone died in such a terrible way that they couldn’t be accountable in return to their        home (which they should     have) and had as close to a peaceful       death knowing that they hadn’t inflicted further pain and suffering on their fellow man,

          No let’s just parade that shit around and make everyone feel as miserable as possible while encouraging that misery

        (Not imagine reminding them about        soon their life will be over)

                     Dic                         k-                         .                         Re-                      mem-ber                            -                          Oh yeah I really care about all those   unnamed people-                           -                            Also yeah let’s try to remember how they were [in life] well the fact that they are dead is robbed in their faces

                        And guilt-tripped

                   Dick.

               [Ahsoka stop being an assumptious dick during a moment of                      silence,]

                   Well I may not respect the concept of funerals        But I do respect the concept of                    If there were rules for an established event                       That you decide to participate in                           You should probably follow                         them,

                       [Empathy circle,                            Asking if sad

                       No shit Sher                             Lock,]

                         It’s a                                Funeral]

[also why does      Ahsoka,        Single               out        Barisse?          She isn’t crying or seems noticeably more upset than any one else,

    “My            Light saber,”

     My mentor         was doing          nothing,

        I know, “younglings”              But for the age we see them          learning about light sabers              There’s little to no chance that someone she learned besides,                 Could teach her anything,

           “ Live for the living Jedi,”

           Then why did you drag the body out of here and make people stare        at it?

        [like live for the living      that’s all good and good,             But part of that includes              not being a dick,            Doing your role to make the world a habitable and decent place,                And being accountable,                 (If you’re inches away from death                  maybe stay home).                 And while this is going                  old fashion murder,                            You’d would assume they would’ve sectioned it off if they were anything resemb                      ling decent                      People,

                 Like not just one place (lane).     for this dude to operate,

                  And in case of       sociality,                   This place wasn’t closed off (permanent) for multiple reasons

                 (Like seriously you guys want to gather around a place where someone died?)

      Point being;           Living for the           living means being          acc-ountable                  And not subjecting people to           staring              at your           dead body,        -

  Live through     us     . . .   Er-

 [But-   they already did their fair share of     living-

[apologies for the “gallows”      humor,

   Just...following       the conclusion of the episodes         focus on,

        Death

   [Point being; you can’t make me feel bad for someone who literally decided   fuck the environment        fuck life     fuck humanity,      i’m going to be a self-destructive       asshole,            And it kicked them in the          ass,

       [Like yeah yeah           loss of life very           tragic,             World is a            wor           -ser,             But that’s a            quick moment-              -] 

           -            [Also yeah                 Jedi life,                   ]

              Like screw all the cleaning                staff,

            Do they even get burials?                   (Weird hierarchy)

               Also, those were all                Jedi?

             (Like seriously          what were they doing down there?)

             Also yeah no wonder             everyone was suspicious,

             Like five Jedi down there for no                 established                     reason

             Weird glowy

              Barisse

              [Where’s                Luminara?

              You know,                      Barisse’s            “Men-tor,”            Authority             assumer,

                  Known                        for                        . . .                 being on top of                    things.                       . . .                            And control                        -ling-                             -                             Micro manage                              -                                “Mov,

                          Seriously     can anyone        leave       this woman alone        for five seconds. .

      Excuses she was already            terrorized enough by              Sky               walker                    .                    Still sucks,

              Why?

              ��Re-                public

               Jedi-

                How is Ahsoka part of the space military and doesn’t know that they answer to the space government?

                 [Did she think       they were just going to keep them locked up in the same       cell forever?

    No space trial?

     Like this seems       like a very stupid           excuse-          To get Ahsoka involved,            (And overly sus)              And terror      -ize this poor woman further

      (Note I know what she did was            downright shitty,

      (Assuming she didn’t give a false confession          under duress)

       That doesn’t excuse the      tox,-

      Clones kil-

    Seriously when      and why does everyone care about the         clones?

     Like ‘oh no the      (ex) child soldiers died!

        Yeah?

    Like they were “actual” people             (By their standards)        and Jedi            (Who seem to rank up pretty high on the standards, even get a separate burial, and getting a statement ranking their lives only              (Assumed authority             is shit)           right there,

      Ad-miral

     Also yeah      they have different legal systems       for different groups of people,          (We’re just going to paint                that as fine,)

           Like I know this is              assumed authority,               But that’s adding another layer of tox that I think should be             acknowledged -

          She’s guilty-

             Fair-

          Dealt with                    Did-

    Did Ahsoka just advocate for the       death penalty-          !?

     Like her hand moved in that         “over the neck,”             expression,                  .                   Revenge

       Dude this is more than venting 

      this is murder

     (Focus on the don’t         murder          part, before the painting with          broad strokes-          ,         (You’d think one of the older Jedi would be advocating for this           shit)

    A-hsoka

    Could’ve        been a nice moment,

     But the tone was off

     And it didn’t make sense

       ‘ The evid-ence              seems clear’?

       How would the      evidence have changed anything?

          ‘ things will never change,’

        Weird statement,

         - -            Military

        That’s a damn good idea considering they’re          peacekeepers

     (Oh yeah that’s the thing that’s thrown around pretty sparsely;               These guys are supposed to keep the peace,

          (Yet from the itchy trigger finger you wouldn’t think that)

           Never mind Anakin’s suddenly developed                    terrorizing tendencies,

          What would be good...

          If they played              it up for evil,

           And didn’t ignore the        unfortunate implications,

        “Peace Keeper(s);

    Hey, they actually called       them out for that bullshit,

     That’s good

     And yeah she is 100% deserves to be ashamed,          For enabling Anakin          last round,              And possibly            brutalizing,

   Note, there’s a difference between venting       and brutalizing,

    (Mostly decided by     emotions,)

    But still they killed more people         than is acceptable either way                              (0)

       Oh never mind she’s just bitter and completely ignoring the consequences of her actions

         (Yeah!)

   (This is not accountability      this is            Vigilante justice,              Trying to solve everybody’s problems            for them,           Which is the just not how it works,             You can’t assume               accountability for               someone else

             You              aren’t                 them

 [Author-ity]

    Strate-gy-

     Um?

    [What?]  Is.

    Is she    a master now,

     If not then where is          Luminara?

      And just           tasks?

       [i’m sorry but Luminara doesn’t seem like the type to assign that kind of work,

     Being pretty controlling

     And high on everything rule -abiding even their elitist attitude -        towards the jedi-

     Pretty sure    she would’ve sent a bot       or a servant        or something              . . .                Not      an     apprentice?             . . .?             ?   Literally nothing about Luminara?

       “friend”

   Assuming a lot that made they’ve only interacted       once and nearly died that      time,

     Also, comfort?

    Ahsoka is the only one that seems particularly    disturbed-

    Yeah      Barisse is soft-spoken             -                But         not really sad that I can tell

   [all of her speech has been well actively non-consequential and      nonsensical,

  That vague]

  Also yeah     Ahsoka feels bad,           After just say          -ing            Screw              You              To a general that reasonably pointed out that they’re peace keepers, and shouldn’t be interfering so much and so aggressively, in other people’s     lives

   (And that’s fair with Lord terrorizer but painted as it’s no big     deal,”          Over there)

     So yeah you can’t really make me sympathize with someone who just a essentially said “Screw being an accountable person,  I want to hurt people         (Beyond reasonable venting         parameters),          And possibly kill them,

    Yeah, no sympathy

    Young

     More so psychopathic,

      [Like pretty sure      she insinuated murder there,]

       What’s with the cell phone music?

         Seriously, look;   

 She’s fine

  This,

  Also     geez she’s jumping right into the         baggage?

  Like poor Barrisse,        She just wanted to go for a walk      and get some tasks      done    and this person is bringing in the tox,

   [Like seriously you don’t just randomly launch into a rant about the abusers and the system they created,

    Everyone already          knows,

    Stick to the talking when there’s something actually good to    share,

   [excluding         rare     occasions,           - ]

Dear frick      what have       I got myself.       into?]

   Damn poor Barrisse      is trying to get out of this            conversation..

     Like dude that’s against code...

     Dude..

    Haha, you’re so cool

   * through gritted teeth,           *please help me*,

      Genoisse

     * Dear god you’re bringing up that             terrible             situation*?

         -         

        [Help ME]

             ?

            Oh yeah that’s not a completely weird thing to say to             someone after a               mur-der      

                  -    

                  ?     

            [Ahsoka’s           projecting fucking..  

              HARD

               Please                     Leave

        Ha, ha , ha

        [that is a why-do-I-hang-out-with-you       ex       -pression-     -         Like Ahsoka clearly got the talent of starting a long rambling rant about random nonsense and subjecting the nearest person to it” trait from      Anakin         [Pre-quel]              -    

[Here’s a reminder that Barisse just wanted a book or some   shit

   To do her    “tasks,”          And got       subjected        to that,       -    

 [Wait this was an        all-call meeting-

       [Apologies for the           abundance of pictures           but I have a lot of thoughts             ,]

          [Why did Luminara and Barisse              get snubbed?

           How is Ahsoka?                  [there are                 -multiple things wrong                   with this-]

        Anyway-

           L-eto

       Because you’re a gosh             darn terrorist,             And out of the two Jedi she             probably knows-           Ahsoka is the least likely to go            {immediate death mode}.                    Probably             she is kind of death mody now,                         -                        Com-mander                             Tano,                        Really?                            -                                  Besides all the normal,                    not Jedi guards,?                                -             Because that smells of plot                      convenience,                           -                          Like she and Ahsoka barely had one conversation,            Where she enabled Anakin’s crazy assumptions and tyran          -ical ruling,              -            ?             -             [It’s-       a nice         shot-]          -          Whelp,            -           The      guarding system are real         weird here;           Sometimes it’s the      Centurions,         This is the real first time          we’re        see-ing           arc             -          Overly          competent,

        Also like      five people dude, chill

      Also the feck    are you telling her            this?

          Oh                —               Guilt?                 (Good)                     .                     ?                       .      [None of them have a red button            except for one,

                               Hm,     Oh yes it just completely open.    the door with no shields   and let the unarmed person go first,

     -           Also yeah      dick move       Ahsoka,

      You were     the Jedi to contact          -          Seriously,   not your attorney

      Oh heck even one of the older Jedi?

     The ap-prentice-            ?

      This is getting to               Mary Sue               levels                  of          “fecking unlikely,”.                   And             “unrealistic,”                   To establish how much of an      unrealistic unbelievable bad ass       Ahsoka              Is,

        Which, congrats,  I don’t believe it

       That a person living in subsequent poverty would know the name of one of the young to-be Jedis, Who reach-       ed such        renown       after            a few short missions,                Where not much was actually done,

             And she never had an official staring                   role, on her own,

      That’s pure wish fulfillment      and it’s pure bullshit

              [You know what would’ve made more sense?                      And I’m not excusing the story in any way                      I fecking         hate                it at this point,

            But,                    What if she was someone screwed over by some people                 smugglers?

                Who saw some serious crime getting committed,

                  And knew the name                     “Ahsoka,”

                    From stories of the other people that got screwed over                        by people                          smug                             glers,

                          Building on the past mythos;                                    Her adventures with the others

                           Esta-blishing herself as a                                smaller crime fighter,

                          Typically.                              asso-ciated with people smugglers,

                          And allowing her to get up a bit of reputation

                           Form her                               own name.                                -                                     Just                                  -a thought                                      -                                     Time

                                Wow Ahsoka’s a bitch                                               [derogatory                                                     non-identification)

                                  The animation...                                       is not helping,

                                         Mine,                                            Yeah you mentioned it,

                                                    Before                                                    She did                                               you fuckin watermelon,

Also,     

[Apologies.         I meant     to make it    smaller, Didn’t;     Happen,]         But point      being she really         is trash; 

    Over - judgemental

     Willing to go farther than          humane

     Willing to assume           authority,

          And yeah lady did terrible            shit,  

      But it was         five        people,       in a            war;

      If that’s what set Ahsoka off, she’s really not up to hearing about the boomer war

        Because yeah        boomer is far from innocent,

        But these are         boomers this shit is expected,  

         And certainly didn’t         add or require that kind of tone                or behavior;

  That’s          A        “You        Suck,”        And         a trip           to      accoun       -tability

            Also yeah let’s talk about the              tone here for multiple reasons;

               The Boomer isn’t the victim either

                But by God, does it try to fame it as such,

              When we come in,  

                 [and I’m not            doing pictures for obvious                      reasons,]                         They are cur-led up in a corner-                           Tone just barely making it about childify                            -ication

                        And I got to say this                           tone is fucking backwards,

                       With the elder boomer criminal,                             Portrayed                               with a unsteady unsure                                  scared tone,

                          Meanwhile Ahsoka,

  For my complaints     of being portrayed         Too young       for her actions,           Too old         for the        -tone,

       Is now portrayed                 even older,                With cyn-                   icism and defen-                  siveness-                      -                           Which doesn’t make sense since the        present Gen doesn’t have anything to defend,                      And has the un-certain tone                          (Usually hope-ful)                              The tones are completely wrong

                                       Right after it being said that Ahsoka acts young in many ways

    Instead of        acting           Like an old person who’s already         done their thing                 And has something to be        defensive about

   [not even the most toxic person       in present Gen,         Loses the uncertain tone         until their time is up,]

        And continues a constant theme of the series not having any patience and not taking the time to develop anything

       They want to have   , Ahsoka be cool and bad ass and say certain lines but don’t have the patience to work-       To develop it         properly,

    Causing everything to fall        extremely           flat;

   Re;verse          (With      correct          Tone,          Ass-      uming this is a          trap,)

     O; What are you doing here?

    A:   What you?

          [Door             closes             behind]

      O; [crack      Guess you’re not the only one              les;]             to fall into their trap,

       A; [Lifts        Tell me or -or              up]

        O;         Or- or                        what?!

                     It’s not                   in your character                         ,child

        A;        Maybe         [Slump      not         Ing]                           -     -           That at least feels natural             and not like a              body switch,                - - -                [also now you’re playing the death theme after he brutalized several people?]

            Like,               [Wow that was quite possibly the most pointless set up I’ve ever seen,                With several                   easy resolvable instances -                        Play it straight                             with not a drop of self-awareness to drink,

                         And because Ahsoka acted like a complete jerk ass I have no interest,

          Especially when they can switch her tone to                old by gone enabler

             [Good job taking any tension                or suspension of               belief, out of                 your story]

             ...

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Bounty

                A Bane episode?

                I don’t hold it as much as a grudge as I used to though they haven’t exactly reach-ed favorite level for me              Fun      Quite-     Yet

     A-ight         [Foretold by life]

     OK but this could be fun Ven-tress going on a galaxy en- compass-ing mission to discover her self

Interesting       clothe     change,

   (Also wait yeah how did you even get out at planet when there was a ship of a ,fleet of ships, surrounding the damn thing?

   I mean I guess she could’ve

   But I’d like to see that

  Especially considering we’re dealing with          excessive(s) now

       Co-     -ol-

    Wh-el       p-

  Sa-

   ?

  Goo     -d         for           her,          -         [also are places like this air-conditioned?

      I know it’s a random thought

   But it has a door that locks         automatically behind you,]

   Just        a thought,

     You technically shouldn’t do drugs outside of            medicinal purposes,

     [Like is fun so-ber]

       ?

      I didn’t like that         look-

       [Let her enjoy her poor       decis           ions,           ]

       ?

[i’m not sure that’s a good idea drugs are generally used for      medicinal purposes used on the wrong injury or no      injury at all they can give you a serious drowsy feeling       akin    - akin to being        drunk-   

    As your biology is over     whelm  ed-

Usually resulting in a sleeping affect can that can make you  more      easily moved,

 After the stuff,       ,

  “what is someone like you doing in a place like this,”         [Not       Actual]

   I swear that line has never been said romantically

    And I don’t think you can

    It is kind of under assuming

   “What is someone like you,”

     I guess, that could come off as romantic it if they’re like in a really dreamy state

   [but then you’re still comparing them to other people]

   [But poly]

   It really relies on you being heavy in the    vibes,

   Otherwise you’re undermining their decision and putting down the place them-self,

“babe,”

 Assuming a lot there      ,buddy

  Normally I would assume vibes but I’m not really sure this    guy is good at read       -ing vibes

   (Or more accurately        trying,)

    Because you can’t force        vibes 

Ye-ah

Wow, this got super        frickin           tox

Like dude,     not only     did you        not        read the         vibes,

     You tried to force the vibes

     Then she gave you a warning           (Should’ve been a reflection)

        And you still kept going               despite clear dislike,

     [Like obviously she should’ve reflected               But that,               Doesn’t          give you the             Call      to grab someone who basically            growled at you]

         Like dude vibes    read      them,

  Cool but not really helping the situation         [Said       sar               don-            ic           ally-]

     Like now there was one less        person in the universe

      [-yeah he was a dick           still a person,]

Yeah so that wouldn’t be too noticeable    like all of you carry guns and the dude was clearly sleazy and I’m pretty sure there’s like one bounty hunter or several killers or several murderers         among           you,

 Ok that was kind of funny though it did need        a bit more of  an upbeat tone      a little more confidence,             to sell it,

   I don’t really believe     those guys would be laughing,

 At that

  [Might’ve wanted to stick with the non-sent      ience that makes it a lot easier to do the whole humor thing]

   And even      the non-tech guy     ,will get a laugh about the robot,

 [Cause robots are       neat]

  Honestly I was kind of expecting for Ventress to become this sort of        villain-who-fights-other- villains character,

   But I guess she has.      to get money from somewhere

   Though where is she got any of that  

   Did Dooku pay her?

   Mother Tensin (town-s-in)   didn’t seem to do anything-

                                       Capitalism

  Is weird

 [also that was kind of a missed opportunity     to have her bond with some people

   Like; she          screws with something,

    Like two people look over because that is an accurate thing not the          entire club

     That’s more like tox

     [Or I guess in a         tox environment             accountable             statements]

        She cracks              a joke

        They either bond            [maybe forming             a little group]                       Or they don’t and she      sorta just waves them off,

             Hum-anize

[In general    that whole bit was kind of weird for me]

   Didn’t seem to        establish much        or anything at all,

     Didn’t really establish that Ventress was actually extraordinarily beautiful or the place is actually pretty sleazy,

     Or much of anything      other than that the residents get easily distracted by shiny blades,

   [No further         elaboration on that         either,]

       ?

      Also       yeah still establish-ing nothing          You really didn’t establish the Ventress as particularly humorous or intimidating

    [you need to watch      your tone,]

    Also how does the girl with him feel?

     [Is she vibin’

     Is she your friend

        [Poly?]

       These small humanization’s really make the place

      And unfortunately right now         it’s looking as dry as a desert,

       Oh   

   [I had to      rewind]

   That was        a c’mere           ges-            ture-

           The animation a little bit                .off     Em-          ot         Ion-

    Again the emotion is feeling pretty        dry here,

     Like your cartoons are acting kind of p-uppet        like,

      Let me give it to some air;

  [Un-named          lizard:         ] Cheers to the          best humor           in this waste!                *Jo                   -viously,*

         “Hm,                  You’re a bit              hil-               arious yourself,”               *sitting down and loos-                       ening up*

              (If                   vib i-     ng)

               [Obviously a rough draft you might want to have Ventress act     stiffer)]

 ]

-     What’s her person-       ality?

    Oh,

    Good,      she talks

      (Non-talking ch-       aracters are fine they just don’t generally add a lot to the setting)      -        Also story you are really rush        -ing into the plot without establishing anything else

   Like if you want to get to the plot just focus on that and have your      character assume a very focused mindset

     [Ventress on a mission to find some bountyhunters,            Some guy gets in her         way,          She cuts them         open,           Said bounty-hunters               take her side              -                  Before she could get into              any serious trouble                    -                      or start a brawl fight                         -                   [Scene progresses as     normal]

     Remember the joy of these scenes;

      Is not making your character            a special snowflake;

      As in she’s not basic level decent and the setting isn’t made out of cardboard characters that does noth        -ing but revolve around her without any motivation, initiative           Or input-

        And the vibin’ should be        clear-         - -           -      Whoa!

   [Also, yeah so isn’t she supposed to be filling         in,          I don’t know murder a pretty     se-vere      crime-

     (Would’ve worked better           with a robot)

    And Ventress’s         indignation of being asked to          re-place a robot,

      Possibly a nice little contrast-         and in a chance for emotional moments as up to this point she kinda was       a robot

    Groomed,  following orders,                 Living mission to        mission-

      On program-ming        to kill-

     And how the world isn’t that       cruel a     place-       -]

  That’s not        saying you can’t have       fun moments,

    Just,        Make them          Count-         ,

   [Ok I’m going to go back to a previous         criticism;

     Where’s the emotion?

  You know the defining feature of enter-tainment

                  [as contrasted with observation,    which         Is not constrained to this requirement and can stick with a deadpanned emotionless tone]

   Over things       ,just happening

  Because so far it’s out of the running for fun

   [like I know she supposed to be an ‘emotionless              killer but that’s just a saying’

      In reality if any of your characters are emotionless      it’s a flaw in writing, at least an enter         -tainment

            * this isn’t a Reflection

                  * Aka observation for sim-      plicity-

     Seriously,

    [Tumblr]

   The story is becoming as dry as the desert sand and as 

       entertaining as someone covering it    

                  What would the kid?

       Clone?                    Nope

       I’m sorry but regardless of rule of five I’m not sitting through            22 minutes of that shit

         I’m giving it a loose tox and not entertaining

     [Owes a better           episode]

      (Loose)            (Non       committal)

      (Non   

     entitled)

           [Which is a shame that such a promising concept ended up so damn    rot         -ten

[throwingideasatthewall]

The Clone Wars         Voyage of Temptation

        (Season 2 Episode 13)

...... ^^            Any     way...    Episode          Opens           Up            With            .        Guard

  Ah      yes

       “ Obi-Wan apparently fucks things up,”

[Why the focus on the       guard’s blue eyes?]

The       Sequel;

Old        Friend

  [With no        familiarity-

 This     is really focusing on all the wrong scenes     . ....   Whelp

*Gets       glass*

‘pparently       I’m      ready       for      some     nonsense

.  .

 How      deep    does       this       go?

 (Almost         all the      bad scenes]

  Even the narrator-         Seems           To        Struggle            -        Making           Sense-

   ‘Satine claimed neutrality

   Then there was an attack by        -Deathwatch

   So Satine

     Had to go pled her innocence            To the Senate?

     -See how that     doesn’t make any sense

    Involvement             in           the war

         She-                -               She           didn’t               do            anything                  -               You just said it was a     terrorist organization.

          Anyone who didn’t watch the last episode-                         Is going to be so lost                                  (Even those                            that did..)

[We’re not even    passed that recap]

       Fun

       Er-

       ?

    Why?

   what?

   Why stick       bug?     (Skeleton         thing)

    As-sassinate her

Since     when?        I         mean        Okay...

       (For those of you that don’t know      the deathwatch,               Totally bitched                 out,                  When it had a           chance to kill her)

    After their    plan had been            revealed,

        Legit         “let her go”,           Ominous                  empty              Hook.

         Now     apparently giving            chase              . . .

       With more       bodyguards     and protection            . . .

      Sharp

One unaccompanied               ship..

       yeah they’re screwed

     [at least there’s no Ahsoka-]

      Presence

      “Retnu”               ?

        What

[Retinue; a group of advisers, assistants, or others accompanying an important person]                Oh

How to take the        clones

      Show          offs             “Anxiety,”

      Sense?

[can someone just say ‘feel’.      once?      Not everything has to be   “sensed”

              Stupid Jedi                  mind reading                     bullshit

Safer      Hand

The idiot   that got knocked out     by one of them

And   Anakin.

[also is there like a Padawan      babysitter?

 Question

  Don’t want to see them

  Just           Cur.]

  Any way

     Why?

   He doesn’t seem     too anxious

     Oh observant one-

    [I know somethings can only be   feel-  But seriously,      ed

      You’d think             it’d show up in his body language

       No dreamy look.               ...   

        No wrist       ful          ness

        Just          rubbing              his          beard           You        need             to do           better than that

[Because           at this rate I’m starting to believe           they were just friends

    Which I don’t think the writers              were going for]

    Also, geez, was that sharp           And with no defensiveness        Just anger

Let’s try it     again, with a little     more- sadness                  Emotion-

   “Ah! No, it’s           It’s all the past,”           [Sadness]

      More intensity on the             hair grab

      Narrowed               Eyes                (Eyes              Only,               Eye                 Brows                   Taut)

        [Look                  Ing                   at                 Ground]

         Possibly                    Shift-               Ing                   -                   Hands                       -                     Into           Pockets                  —-                  Head                  tilted                upwards                   ——                       For                  absolute                  dejection                       - - -                      And                 Des                    -peration                   - - -                   Neat  

           ‘Aight,’

          ‘How                  Do                    I-’

[Like,       that’s not a typical reaction,        Shout          Ing-              No emotion-       I have just decided to       -shout,’

   ‘Okay,’         Anakin

  Whelp

  Why is everything          dark?

This is a very important Person,     yes?

  Why are there crates?

  Are you storing         Salt       Ine            with        the     luggage?

  (The Se-          nate’s gonna              kill-

   [Wait, was there a     perspective change?]

    Are-        Are we dealing with the other       clone troopers?

  That- was     very     badly   done-

You went from one area       with people in an enclosed space

 To people  who look exactly the same

  Coming out-     

[You-          You needed more      distinction      .there.]

Any.way

 Investigating crates

 In the dark

 On a ship

Supposedly    escorting     a very important person         [you’re telling me the           Senate couldn’t     splurge,     On the       lights,         For their very important  person      escorting        plane?

  What happens if she wanted to get     something for herself?

She has to walk through the dark?

Probably trip     on a lot of            things,

   And      possibly-

   This         set       wasn’t thought out well,

    Gotta            Say,

   Whelp

    Okay

  [Ah, the music is a little         blaring]

  It’s-     been going on for several      minutes-

 [nothing against     music        [or sound         effects]          Just...     This      one     doesn’t       really      match        the       tone        (Being       pretty        loud       bumbling         and       curious)         (Needing            less          Brass,            Or           to           be         played            at             a           lower         frequency)                For            Shorter            Periods                Of            Time)        As It’s         really fighting         with the other            effects,                ....     

      Worst transport vehicle     ever,]

     War is intolerable          Uh, did  I walk into a      philosophy       seminar?

   What

Also;          SUBTLE!

  And       sorry to be a           complainer;

      The colors            clash-                  Horribly                (Which could be the point,        the red of blood     against     her blue                  Red                   Oni-

             But     it’s not-

  The red in this scene     is clearly        Displayed    as nobility  

  (But        that’s         gold.)    

     And this scene        - it clashes          (Sorry to        critique.)

   Horr-ibly

    The nobility music is     drowning out her words

    Which are not ones;       you would speak with acquaintances or       court;         Far too uptight

 And...

   It just doesn’t work

 - Gives me a          -headache-

   (Not good)

   What is     dude doing here?

    What?

     Why?

 Er,             Not        As         Bad        As         The          .     Abo     mina        tions.

  Life

  What

 [Okay

   She’s         got             a          point             ...   Admittedly.             It              Is          Framing-         Her           As         Claiming            . . .             God? 

     . . .        Gathering         thoughts                 ...                 My          issue             with             the            scene-                (Besides-             the music) is how it presents Dutchess

         Here she’s calling     about the power of life               And this     could work;               There’s nothing wrong     with poking fun at   authority     assumers-

   The excessive           involved                 -               The            words             with            no           meaning               -           Extrava          gance-

    But it isn’t doing     that

    It’s presenting hi-     larious antics straight           (Like this is normal     behavior          Or        Just         Urgh-       Every-thing’s        off         And     everything’s          so    overwhelming         that I can’t pinpoint the       exact problems..         ...                   It’s not            Played             Up               ...           For           Humor

                 *Some                          Of                              It,                         But                        Could                          Be                          More

    That’s           The          Ish

    Small            fix;          Gold,         Extrav            agant           Music,           Lower             Tempo             (Volume)               Calling                Up             Obi-              Won                  To              Chat,              “The               Jedi”.       Jedis?               There’s                   Your                   Scene                     . . .             Neutral                   . . . .               Aight     Doing      The      Ey-

            Inter-

            She invited

           Yeah you    should’ve    knocked-

              And not come out swinging

             But-

            No-

           Senator

         ??

         Confusing this is

         ?

      Serious

   Also a lot       more people..

         ?

       Seriously          emotions                      .                ?

Yeah I don’t know what     kind of emotions are going on here either buddy

           Just                 that               the               writers                are           playing          defense               for          Obi-Wan            again

        -Seriously

          2              In                 A              Row                 All               For            Obi-won

         The only     emotion     and responsibility being       when Duchess is talking

Author favoritism     isn’t cute            

          Let            them            argue             like               adults

Not     lowering      the   standard          -        ?

 Peace keepers

  There’s          a     difference

       They’re              both            authority              assumers.

     Peace

      So is         enabling           for peace            .

     Okay, seriously

               Look                 effects                   can                      be                      used                           To               Accentuate                         What’s                    already                      there,

            Not             replace

Your     audience         will       know            who’s   right and wrong          Regardless of how many cheap tricks        You use

   All         it     does ��       is     make      you        look      bad              Have          faith         your       audience          can           tell            right          from       wrong

 And   don’t use cheap tricks    to try        and avoid     accountability

 (Equal         Accoun           tability                   In             The           Narra.            Tive)

   Any Way                 -

        No           such         thing

      Yeah, why are these fuckers     here?

      Last we saw they were getting on     Anakin’s ship and leaving

       Now this

It feels     a little       Ret-con   -y

And      the   story      isn’t    much    better        to    justify        it

              Also did you just call them up here so you could                                                                                      lambaste                                                                                      him                                                                                        in                                                                                      front                                                                                          of                                                                                        your friends?

                                                                                   Don’t                                                                                           get                                                                                         me                                                                                     wrong                                                                                       she’s                                                                                       being                                                                                         damn                                                                                         tox

                                                                             But                                                                              Obi-Wan                                                                                 is                                                                                an                                                                                 adult                                                                               and                                                                               can                                                                               get                                                                          himself                                                                             out                                                                                of                                                                              the                                                                           situation.

Now, moving on;      Did

  When?

  Even        they        looked        confused      ... Hide

She’s got a point

 Aight,      Stop,      How        is this        happening       .        Two         Sides

If only the     authors would let them argue as equals

  No avail

   [Also what even was the     argument?

    “A lot of people want to stay neutral because we don’t want to screw over our lives and that’s how I’ll be presenting our case”

     “ A lot of people like taking the initiative and being involved             in the action,”

      I don’t recall.. .

       [Public hum.]

       [Puppy Dog]

[You’re nice]

 [slightly guilty]  Yea,            I am

      [Here’s Anakin]

      Anakin...

     [Puppy               Dog] 

      “Your couriers asked me to do it,”

          Couriers- no

      “You’re         hiding behind people,”

       Blue dude             steps in

 I know she was the only one       contributing any actual philosophy

  Obi-Wan getting one line in

  Before the writers went         full defense..      ...    

   That was like the junk food        (the potato chips)         Of         Arguments

  Something        happened        but         there          was          no        value              . . .

   There was more dead air      in the conversation than anything          else,

   Indeed

   Non-sense

   That was junk food

   Stop padding yourself on the back         For writing      a void argument

  Also I really don’t trust the courier      guy...

  [Call it       old grudge]

   Why would Duchess    invite one of a her servants...

    To a high class          Senator         event..

   Look        at         this           guy           ...          Look at everyone else          . .        He    sticks       out           like      a sore      thumb         . . .          And        he’s      done       nothing         but         be   insubordinate        this          entire         time.

   Essentially           being           Obi-Wan’s            “Yes”             hype            man,

   (Are we sure     guy isn’t a court jester)

    I think       multitude makes discord and       not a good counsel

!

...

 She...

(Constant character     ization!)

Do it

[or hold them accountable to          hypocrisy!)

   Seriously,

        So far this is neither mentally engaging or     funny,]

       And it’s ONLY to screw with Duchess

    Seriously,            Stop playing           defense for                Obi-won

    [I know it’s called Star Wars        but that doesn’t mean you have to glorify militarization]

    Outside of in universe characters

     Right

      Two            Sides

     (For            five seconds)

     Before you started hiding behind meat shields and puppy dog eyes

   Hers

    As do you

  [That wasn’t funny,           Movie,          Save the soundtrack       for when      something funny         happens)

    Now,           Oof

   See, that was emotion

   Somethings the writers      Refuse to let Obi-      Wan do,

    It’s either a bad ass or         puppy dog eyes,

    - -

    You know what as   nonsensical as this is           It’s better than the      fake   arguing-

 Con-tinue

  Aight

  Neat

  Can’t see   anything in here

  Dark

  And a high-class vehicle        meant to escort a very important      person

    Yeah I’m aware       thanks for rubbing it in my        face

    Doesn’t it make any sensical, or fix the problem          Or make it funny          ...

   Whelp

  “Not funny”

 Hey, my thoughts when watching this    episode

   [except that was actually funny and            slightly good foreshadowing]

  Guess we know where we disagree,

Prefer laughing at their own un-balanced narrative,

          Made by cheating...

.....

Hey an actually argument         where they treated as equals!

You don’t get a star for that

Why did you bother with the other shit       instead of just skipping   to stuff like this?

This is     good

Also shut up     courier guy

                  [you have helped no one ever]

Rest

Hey this is actually good

  Dinner..

  Oof

  Right

That was almost a     facial expression

 .

?

Who these guys ?

Where did they       come from?      -      Aight,          Neat-

  Red

  That’s unfortunate-

    ?       Ship?

(What is that design?)

    History

See you look at all these lighted and gold..  Extended         Mission,

Okay,   that’s good to know.       - -        Would’ve been nice to be clued into that the   previous episode.

Okay,  

Right,

Bountry             Hunters

  That sounds really         traumatizing           (Aka. terrible)

  That actually does sound pretty     terrible for him

   Still an enabler

But nice     characterization.

.

Hand to mouth

Now realizing how terrible that sounds

 Rom-antic

 No     sounds     terrible

  Also they were children       likely,

   (Don’t think that’s cool,)

    That wasn’t really an emotion

   Whelp,         Crud

      ?

     Whelp

(Now     you’ve    scared     the          baby      droid)     /j

 Violence

  Wait did we just miss      her whole backstory?

  Also whoa, whoa,       Whoa

   Did you just try to assume authority over a grown woman’s decision to not like violence?

   (People aren’t just buttons and numbers decided by the trauma of their childhood- or lack there of-             (If so)

   And tried to claim authority   over a grown woman‘s decision

    What the HELL           movie?

     (I want to believe     that’s a mistake and Obi-Wan is meant       to come across as the asshole        For saying that,)

     But all the writers   previous choices regarding      writing women          Leave that up to      concerning amounts         of doubt)

  Difficult task

    Which she seemingly manage      quite well until you showed up

      Problematic..

   Yeah, jedi Masters don’t really do not being over involved      assholes

  Else where

  And your        master

   Demanded

   Feelings

   Hold up we saw one decent episode (instance) where they were characterized as being equals

   A) That doesn’t mean            necessarily romantic love

   B) we have seen         literally none of it

    No instance          where there actually seems to be any fondness

   Between, the both of them

     Just...           Toxic

   (If you need to pull that off you need some actual       emot        ional stimuli        Aka.         Emotions         Where are       they actually care about each other

  So far it’s been snipping with no     personal        (Romantic)              Attraction

  Example;       (Note         Romantic is not naturally       my field)

   Intro;

   “Satine - I,”

     “ I wish to keep this         strictly professional)

     (Under             “For both of our       Breath               sakes,”                     To            Her           self;

  Argue;

   “Well, I at least don’t          leave        the          people who require my assistance,”

                    “I’m a better peacekeeper                           than you,”

     And so forth;

   It’s about the      longing;

  These two;      nothing..

  Decison

  Did

Seriously, why are we watching this,       passive tone. .

 Whelp

Remorse

Which you haven’t felt this entire         episode,

 Also,        regret     and       longing are better     synonyms.

?

Aight  ...

Okay,

Oh yeah and the other half of this “love” story is a horror story       (Completely unconnected,      No one’s going         T’sundre)        What ever

    . .

  The rest           is        pretty good              Also it was totally the courier guy,        I call it,

   Me

  That’s almost    charming.   . .

  Find          Out.

     ?

   Seriously no one   checked it?

   Worst security ever

   It

    This security    sucks

 . . .

 Worst ship ever      ..

What?

   Okay?

  Aight

   What..?

Aight,

 Whelp

  Aight,

   Traitor

  Courier

  He changes his opinion on a dime    and starts shit

  Okay

  And not attacking   shit        Logic,

 ?

Okay

Everyone just got attacked

Surprised    everyone’s not jumpy

Or decided   to go to bed

On this nightmare   cruise

  (”The luggage compartment is       under-lit,         Senator,”

     “The - Security         is horrendous

      “Bugs in             All the             Food!”

     The HR department is        going to have a fecking fit          (As well as anyone         managing           quality)

       ?

    Courier

   Again, what does the little things do?

    They just seem to be      basic annoyances

  But..okay

 That makes   some sense.

 I mean it is   logical

  But he is being a dick

(Also bold you to assume none of the   clones did it)

Ha

  Knew         It

Merrick

Senator?

I thought he was a courier, or some       kind of servant?

What?

 Throw the table     will you?

   Whelp

Also;    

R.I.P one Senator dude          (Who I don’t think was        ever named)

Shall be missed       (The bug     Obi-Wan will definitely hit that       senator)

WHERE THE           FU-

 Where?

Worst.     Security.        Ever.

Tal       Merica

I have problems that     I haven’t found

 He’s learned     well from Obi-wan

 And will make the Jedi     Masters groan.

  Okay

   Team        Command.

   Aight

  Oh yeah   those guys got screwed over?

 But they’re totally dead      now right?

  Heck

One nuisance         bug. .

 ?

Clone’s have bug      phobia     (Dis    like)

 Thanks

 Mother

How do you know?

S’up guys

Straight out       of a puppet show,

Anyway

  Whelp,

   Whelp

   Okay,

Saltine’s probably   gone       by now.

 ?

Are there     no escape       pods?

W-h       -elp

Aight     apparently     not

 Also         the     centerion      guard       are   bitches)         (Non       derog)

  Pfft

  That..     line

Also Satine,       Why did I bring the weakest         freaking guards

                 And                       everything involved                        in it.

Monster

You literally-

 Pfft  

Okay..

“Get used to it”           

   What?

Whelp

   Hi

  .. .

  Bull

  Do you just took out the Centurion     Guard, Ain’t some   clones       gonna stop him

   Or deter,”

Help

  ?

What?

?

.. .

Elevator

Dude you were just spilling your fecking   epilogue   a few seconds ago        (Also wrong     tone to make this work)

?

 Not reasonable     progression of emotions,

 ?

How does this help?

?

Aight,     Okay,

What’s

“Deathwatch command,        You’re listening to our talk tunes        at-”

  ?

 - -

They’re    not gonna be any help

They’re a    small moon   base     .

Possibly a   Gaztrillion miles away,

Liar

Not likely

 Aight-         -

?

How

Like if this is supposed to be a luxury ship design for the best of comfort and greatest of experience,  

No way dude’s   caught up in that quick a time

Especially   with the little support

Whelp

It’s just went   downhill. .

Into   crazy nonsense.

Dead.

?

How

Girl-

That hasn’t       even been remotely established   enough

   My-

 -

Stop-

No gun

You        gonna..

duchess

?

 ?

-

Aight

(Please        Do)

 Did pretty good at getting    hostage        Chips         . . .

Four (five counting     her)

And I don’t know how many others in terms of clones

Point being, it seems to be a         mostly empty ship

Run by droids

  .

  Anakin              Do            Thing?           - - -          Okay

    Guy already             dead.

   ?

  Hey, the centurion          guards actually did something,

  ?

 Who are those     guys-

 Nerrick

  ? ?

  Whelp         . .            Okay

   .               “I don’t know how to say       this,”

   I swear if you say “I love you       in that tone of voice, With       ‘no emotion,

 Whatsoever

 Ight

 Uhm

 Okay

  Right...

   The lack of understanding of     love       And any emotion in this scene,         Does it for             me,

    ?

  Neither do I      Gag me

It’s so       poorly       done       . .. Hardly

 (Screw the music     you didn’t earn that       and you know it)

  ?

  -

  -

  ?

   -

  ...

  The       Episode           ...                 Was better than its predecessor,              Which isn’t        saying       much,           From             Me

The first bit is as dis-jointed a mess as it’s predecessor

 The middle        reaches good levels

    Then promptly       declines       back         into      (less-than)        mediocrity

    And      Nonsense

     The romance is     nonexistent..

      Only getting     to friendship            At around     beg      in        ni       ng        Of          The       Half        Way.

             The love confession so forced..

           (There’s a reason                        The- cheesy- in the                   middle- of battle

               Was                    Dis      Continued

                Note; cheesy as in badly     done

                 And ‘dude has     a point’ is the                        least                           I                          Can                           Say                        about                           the                          Snark                           To-ward   s                               It

  Fix         It;

   Episode-wise;          Separatist pre      -sence         causes             Obi-won             And          Anakin            To            Be           Inter-            rupt              ed

       Only            Anakin             Being         In-         Vited           Obi-           Won            Heart-              Broken             But            Return-           Relent

[i’m sorry     I just can’t    work     with       the, “have                  to              answer                     /              defend                before                       the                     Senate (For         no       Reason)         Nor        the      mystery      train          bit

  (With         The        Chara           C-ter          I-zat      ion)

     Anakin            Just        Chill            -ing there

Alt;

  A cross        Un- requited          Love         (For-         Bidden-)         (Episode)     Mashing          This         Episode            And        “Hostage,”         Elements,           Specifically             the    professionalism         argument;         Obi- wan’s             Side            Show            -ing           The     Consequences             Of        Restriction          (Self       Restraint)          Gone             Too           Far               .          Anakin            (and         Padme’s)             Too            Little             ...           Possibly              a             Cross      where         they        both         lie         to         each         other         about       their     relationships          ....

   For     Symbolism           ...       And       Toxin         Is        Still       Toxin             ...

Sequence:     

   Anakin             Takes           Obi-wan’s            Place             And      Learns           About           The           Hist     -ory

    Acc-      identally        Stumbles        Across       Death       Watch