#transphobia m

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

#Lee says #transphobia m

[particlegentleman]

y'all are free to headcanon whatever you want but any time i see a trans headcanon all i can think about is that everyone would just be constantly misgendering them and stuff. i guess it doesn't really apply here cause the he/she/they pronouns but still, it's all just a tiny bit unusual to me. none of this is intended to be gatekeepy or anything, just don't know where else to share my thoughts on this sort of thing. anyways your art is super good and trans people are awesome <3

im 3 years old and trans

#ask #.txt #im sowwy but um. this is a weird ask to send me #i dont wanna hear how you think about my blorbos are gonna be victims of transphobia 😭 #pls make ur own post if u wanna talk about that lol #i really hope im not being like harsh i just dont feel comfortable with this kind of ask #transphobia m #misgendering m

[pigeonperch]

Oh my god so I’ve been struggling for a very long time to articulate what made me uncomfortable about “femme” or “masc” versions of characters and it’s bc that’s almost always just used in place of the word “gender swapping” without actually changing the transphobic parts of the concept.

Like. The whole reason people dislike the whole thing of genderswapping characters is bc ppl act like man and woman are “opposite genders,” which is the part that this negates.

However the other, more PRESSING thing that is a problem is that people ASSIGN CERTAIN PHYSICAL TRAITS to these words like BODY TYPE, BREASTS/NO BREASTS, THICK/THIN EYELASHES, HEIGHT, HAIR, ETC, ETC, ETC!!! And this form of categorization should sound familiar! Because these are the things transphobes use to distinguish “the two genders”

There is NO “FEMME” BODY and NO “MASC” BODY. Like if someone called my body (short, large chest, wide hips, etc) “femme” I’d immediately think they were transphobic. Because it would be!! Femme and Masc are presentations, NOT bodies. Bodies have no gender.

(Obviously they have a sex, but that’s not what I’m talking about and if you think it is you’re clearly not the intended audience of this post)

#latest from the perch #carrion #ok to reblog #transphobia m #this has been a problem in fandom spaces for like forever #I understand the novelty of the idea but it is transphobic!! it just is!! #drawing ur faves in masc or femme or androgynous styles isn’t what I’m talking about here though #neither is drawing what would be just an entirely different character #shouldn’t have to clarify but this is the ‘piss in the poor’ website yk

[sevicia]

My two last posts were spurred on by the amount of trans women I have seen on Tiktok dueting just nasty transphobic / transmisogynistic videos and calmly explaining certain things about being trans but most importantly JUSTIFYING their very existence. It makes me so mad like girl u don't have to do that, you don't owe it to ANYONE. It's honestly amazing to see someone respond like that to hate and it's obviously their very own choice, but it just makes me angry lol like no one should have to go thru this. It shouldn't even be a discussion in the first place. Literally what ARE we doing to our queens

#transmisogyny m #transphobia m

[queercutlureis]

Trans culture is seeing someone say having more then one trans character in a family is unrealistic and laughing because your non binary and you have a trans older sister and you both came to your gender conclusions competely separately from one another

.

#queercultureis #queer culture is #queer #trans #nonbinary #transphobia m #wow this has been in the inbox for literally half a year #sorry nonny and everyone else who've had asks just sitting here #i have Not had the spoons for this blog in quite some time

[samble-moved]

is it just me or is anyone else irked when people say "terf" in place of "transphobe" or "transmisogynist". all terfs are transphobic, but not all transphobes are terfs. radical feminist is an important part of that acronym people ignore when calling people it.

#it's also weird on every transfem posi post to say terfs dni imo because #1) they will not listen and you saying that likely attracts more of them #2) who tf wants to be reminded of people who hate them or support violence against them on a posi post #like as a lesbian if every lesbian posi post ended with 'lesophobes dni!! 1' id not appreciate it #transmisogyny m #transphobia m #per

[strawberrylind]

unfriendly reminder terfs and the like kindly Fuck Off

#shut up lind #not art #transphobia m #was scrolling through some reblogs and you’ll never guess what kind of scum i found #you’re disgusting and a disappointment

[rocknrollerskates]

JUNE: dad said that if you and jane aren’t going to be girls then i have to be SAWYER: NO HE DID NOT JUNE: yeah he did

#ooc #munart #panel edit #this is an au of an au #au where jakes oc sawyer is johns little cousin #but also au where john is a trans girl #homophobia m #transphobia m #its subtext and even then i think youd only see if if you knew what paul strider thinks of jane #june strider isnt canon but she lives in my mind

[mothlm]

Had the realisation today that even doctors who respect my gender identity still don't take my medical concerns as seriously as they would a cis man

#boy i hope it doesnt slowly kill me #death m #doctors m #transphobia m #a.txt #frustrated bc i came to the dr with a concern and they didnt seem to think it mattered :/

[pandaren]

nvm my question you're a man

this is really interesting to me, because i knew that terfs thought all trans women or transfems were men, but not that they thought that anybody who opposes them were also men. hmmmm

#morons #terf m #transmisogyny m #transphobia m

[uncleghostt]

I love when people take the time to leave mean and transphobic anons

I'm just gonna delete them bro

But hope u get well and figure out whatever you're dealing with <3

#danny speaks #transphobia m

[tcypionate]

people obsessed with trying to figure out if someone is trans are so creepy to me, even if they 'supportive.' like get a fucking hobby.

#i constantly think of that one twitter thread where cishets were admitting that theyre always trying to guess #transphobia m

[sevicia]

My mom is so funny... when she calls me "daughter" on accident I go "Ok that's one more on your transphobia tally. You now owe me (insert thing I want)" and she's like Fuck OFF

#transphobia m #I'm so glad I can joke about this believe me

[plushiedefender]

The fact that my dad has been slowly becoming more alt-right conservative and more hateful and transphobic is really hard to grasp. My mom says it's the Facebook videos he watches and the friends he hangs out with. He never used to be like this. I've never asked him explicitly what his thoughts were on my transition but I just always assumed he loved and accepted me.

I guess not.

#mine #personal #vent #transphobia m

[genderkoolaid]

Fun, sparkly, casual gender nonconformity is awesome and wonderful, but it's also not the only type. Gender nonconformity can be serious, and it should have a respected place in society.

It's not inappropriate for a man to wear a dress to a business meeting. It's not inappropriate for a woman to wear a three-piece suit to a funeral. It's not inappropriate for someone to dress androgynous for an interview. Gender nonconformity is, for many people, just a part of expression. It's not just a performance or a fun weekend thing (although, again, that's good too)!

If gender nonconformity is only viewed as "casual", and is still punished in professional spaces for being "inappropriate", trans, genderqueer and gender nonconforming people will never be free. If you only treat gender nonconformity with respect in drag bars and pride festivals, you don't actually respect gender nonconformity.

#m. #transphobia #gncphobia

[samble-moved]

you know, it's pretty damn sad that in a game like undertale with canon nonbinary characters who are always shown to only use they/them, certain cis people still need 24/7 constant and repeated reminders on fanart posts to not be transphobic and misgender them, yet some will still do it anyways.

#undertale #misgendering m #transphobia m #per