#tw: ocd

[thisshadeofred]

“ c'mere. let me give you a hug. “ for Buttons from Crutchie (she also needs a hug)

Buttons cried as Crutchie wrapped her arms around him. He was having a really tough day today. He had another one of those fits where he felt like he couldn't breathe no matter how hard he tried. His brain felt so spinny and worried and he couldn't do anything about it. He had lost his favorite button. He couldn't do anything without his favorite button. He wasn't safe without it. He had to find it but he couldn't and his brain hurt and he couldn't stop crying. "What if- what if I can't find it ever again, Crutchie?"

#tw: ocd #v: carrying the banner #c: buttons #crutchie:buttons #betterto die thanto crawl

[oh-katsuki]

i hate having ocd because ill be eating chicken nuggets and then realize that im not even tasting or enjoying them because im trying to make sure i measured the sauce to nugget ratio perfectly, lest i get Food Poisoning Of An Unknown Origin. that shit suuuuckks let me enjoy things

#i hate this fucking disorder like #and frankly... FRANKLY! it's not even the big compulsions that get to me most of the time #bc i can accept those as part of my disorder #but it's the way it sneaks up and subtly sucks the joy out of the little things like BRO LET ME EAT MY NUGGETS #iM TIREEEEDDDD BRO #vent #i mean not rly tho bc im mostly shit posting but #tw: ocd #i triggered it just in case #tw: compulsions

[forevermorelovelorn]

my ocd is really messing with me tonight like I wasn't already anxious all day! just give me a minute please <3 p.s I hope all my mutuals and everyone that interacts with my posts are doing okay you all mean sm to me 🩷 sorry about the little rant <3

#me <3 #just a little rant <3 #tw: ocd #tw: anxiety

[incompleteninny]

Another free, unedited chapter of my upcoming book, “The Heist at Cordia Aquarium” is now available on its website (click here to read from the beginning).

I shamelessly ripped the sink compulsion from part of my own rituals and it’s currently the most annoying one to deal with. Let me wash my hands in peace you darn short-circuiting meat computer!

Days blur past out of Avery's reach. Tamika drowns her in work, Valerie invites her to tea too much, her parents ask her too many questions. It all melds together into one amorphous blob of time that she can't make heads or tails of. Except for the stress, the obsessions and compulsions.

Drink earl grey in Valerie's office: she's trying to poison you, spit it out into that plant.

Scrape stubborn algae off the sides of the near-empty snail tanks: wash it out again, microscopic pieces of glass you dislodged will kill the snails in horrific fashion. Wash it, come on!

Have dinner with Mom and Dad: all this moping and crying around is disgusting, they're going to kick you out if you don't apologize to them. Do it.

Every day, Avery goes to work, comes home, rushes through dinner, and collapses into bed. She cries, she falls asleep, she wakes up. Days pass one after the other, but she's not sure how many. Then, as if breaking through water to suck down a much needed breath, it all screeches to a halt.

[...]

Here’s Avery’s concept sheet. The anime toast face is exquisite, wonderful, life-giving. The way Stella paints food kills me. I’m never going to eat anything that looks that good :(

#did a covid-swab-date with my partner and there was too much sneezing for it to be romantic #tested negative though! #trying to not sneeze the swab across the room is like trying to brush your tongue without gagging #anyways book tags #wlw #lesbian protagonist #protagonist with ocd #toast #tw: OCD #yes I know she's just the classic masc lesbian #you wanna fight about it?

[withoutaconscienceorafilter]

This is a post about my friend's kid's eating disorder, because I need to vent about this somewhere.

You can see the tags. Don't click if you don't want to know.

This child is in such a bad place. Not only does she have full-blown anorexia with all the mental health implications that go with that, but she's also reacting to every intervention in the worst way possible.

She hates that her parents are requiring her to eat, requiring her to drink water, making her attend a program to try to get better. Her solution is to run out the front door through the neighborhood screaming at the top of her lungs, "Help, my parents are molesting me!!!"

She also tries variations of this every single day when they enter the outpatient clinic.

She is threatening to cut herself. She told her parents that they should stop killing her slowly and just do it quickly. She seems to be in the middle of a major depressive episode, basically sobbing for 8 hours at a time and saying all the things that parents are warned to watch for to know that their child is suicidal.

She tries to get up and exercise in the middle of the night. She tries to wear as little clothing as possible, hoping that her body has to work harder and burn more calories to stay warm. She will blow her nose during meals so that she can surreptitiously spit mouthfuls of food out in the tissue.

She's so malnourished. Her body is in constant pain as it cannibalizes itself. She gained half a pound so far in a week of outpatient treatment, but the eating disorder is so much in control that her only reaction was that she could feel the fat in her thighs, she was going to get fat.

The doctors have essentially said they've never seen a patient present quite this way, especially with the screaming for CPS. The course of treatment at the moment is to stabilize her weight, then they'll be better able to deal with the mental health stuff. But omg she needs help with the mental health stuff!!!

My friend is both terrified that her kid is going to die ... and that her kid is going to get the family in trouble with CPS, get taken to foster care, and no longer receive any of the help she needs for the eating disorder. So that she dies.

This is a shitshow of epic proportions.

#Tw: eating disorder #Eating disorders #Tw: disordered eating #Tw: mental health #Tw: ocd #Tw: depression #Tw: suicidal ideation #Shut up Quakey #Tw: anorexia

[simsdada]

me having a breakdown over this blog because of my ocd.txt

just wanted to share something here, idk maybe someone will relate to this somehow?? i have no idea. but well, sometimes my repetitive and obsessive thoughts are a bit too much, and i can’t stop thinking about fulfilling this awful-annoying wish like “i must post something that people will like”. my partner helps me all of the time to deal with my ocd, literally every single day, but even the most innocent and random stuff like posting here on tumblr, can cause my ocd to of course, make it’s lovely debut. at the beginning i could actually post because i wanted to, but a few months to this day, it feels like something that needs to be done. 

i just want to enjoy playing my favorite game again, which is of course, sims 2. but in my head, no one will like it, no one cares about it, and of course, i’m not interesting enough. and i guess me, writing about this, is a way of trying to help myself to realize that, that is not in fact true. 

like i said, my partner helps me, he doesn’t really understand what simblr really is, but he knows i have a blog and i have followers, he always tells me “of course people like you, people always interacted with you there, stop thinking about stuff that doesn’t make sense, just post your game and be happy about it” and i know he is right, but it’s hard, it’s really really hard to deal with intrusive thoughts. 

just wanted to share this here. to all my mutuals who always enjoyed my sims 2 posts since the beginning, thank you so much. i will be trying my best to enjoy this game again, because i love it very very much.

#tw: ocd #just me sharing way too much on here #</3 #i'm sorry if there's something written wrong #i'm going to work

[thestarrynightslover]

The internet and social media are currently being one my very few sources of comfort but they're also feeding my potential ocd? And this week, specially, I just haven't been able to control myself when it comes to it and haven't really been able to do anything. Not uni related and not even reading/watching/writing related, which is also why I wasn't able to post a fic this week :\

Anyways, my mom is telling me to get off social media and telling me to focus on my responsibilities... But idk if I want to, because of the comfort part — which really helps me with my other pathologies, feelings of loneliness and not fitting into, well, life, really —, or if I can do it, because it's become sort of an obsession at this point, really. So, I can't make any promises to her but am letting you guys know over here, just in case I disappear for a while.

#tw: ocd #tw: mental illness #tw: loneliness #tw: insecurities #gabriela rambling #gabby talks #life update #gabby gabs

[fleurdudestin]

☆hi I want to shout my own praise for a minute but it will be under a read more as I have tw: ocd and don't wanna accidentally hurt someone☆

You don't have to read this is more for me than anything lol

☆I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF I RESISTED A ROUTINE AND DID NOT SPIRAL AT ALL!! This is a major step for me and it was all me!! I have been working super hard on this and some hard work is paying off. I know I might do a flip and hit a low tomorrow but man am I going to keep working on this and I know I will start to make even more progress. Idk I'm just super happy about this☆

#bunnii ☆ ooc #tw: ocd #tw: obsessive behavior #tw: mental health

[blackplaaague]

Can I vent a little?

(Reload or keep scrolling if you aren't in the mood to see it. Content warning for intrusive thoughts and overstimulation/meltdowns.)

~Ok, I'm assuming you're ok with seeing it by now. Excuse me as I vent for a moment~

So, I was in target, minding my business, when I started feeling dizzy and sick. I freaked out a little, since I was in a crowd, and I’ve fainted in crowds in target slightly more often than your average entity. I’m like Faint In Target Georg or something.

I’m already feeling sick and disoriented by the anti-sensory-friendly apocalypse that is a big store with bright lights, when some asshole decided it’s time to pretend to be Mr Beast and starts SCREAMING and FILMING STRANGERS. I’m getting super disoriented, and my intrusive thoughts, yes, not impulsive, as in “I should do that” but intrusive, as in “sickening and terrible deeds are flashing through your mind. Bite that stranger. Run that guy over with a shopping cart. Burn the store to the ground with everyone inside.” when suddenly, this idiot puts all 4.2 of his braincells together and decides to film the person with green hair and pronouns for a laugh. 

This is the part where things get blurry.

Apparently, I had an episode, flailed around like I was possessed, started growling, and flung myself onto the ground, slamming myself into the hard linoleum with all the force of a werewolf mid-transformation, with none of the gay subtext or freedom.

I can distinctly recall someone misgendering me, and the manager coming over as I sob and apologize for being alive and act as if I represent every fault and failure of the autistic community, forever. I’m apologizing to individual customers.

It was actually kind of funny. Like, if it wasn’t so horrible. I ended up calling myself the R slur and I feel really bad about it. It’s so embarrassing. Everyone was staring and me and I said (or, I think I said, it’s kind of blurry) I was the joker and going to eat the customers. I was able to calm myself down and the guy got in trouble, and so most of it also happened in my head.

I'm sorry for venting about the funniest emotional breakdown known to man.

Like... it's funny but also I feel kind of bad complaining.

I didn't actually hurt anyone. I kept myself mostly under control. The guy got sent out of the store and the manager said it was okay, and the joker thing allegedly happened in the car afterwards. I'm still not sure what happened for the most part, but I don't think I talked the whole time so at least I didn't say I was the joker out loud? I hope? 

Anyway. It’s funny, but sad. 

#tw: vent #vent #venting #tw: intrusive thoughts #intrusive thoughts #axually autistic #ocd #actually ocd #tw: ocd #I want to hit this guy with a hammer #bp rambles #blackplaaague #anxeity #tw: abelism #I don't think it was on purpose #still #it's hilarious in retrospect

[imoutoni]

Hi everyone. Sorry if it seems like I've been inactive these past few days. I'm more prone to writing on D.iscord lately because it's easier and I'm having a pretty killer OCD episode due to finals coming up. It's kept me from keeping up with things here. I greatly apologize but I think until finals end, I may be low activity. Thank you all for understanding.

#🌸 ◜j u s t a f a n g i r l ◞ ⦗ out of character ⦘ #mental health mention #ocd mention #tw: ocd #tw: mental illness #mental illness mention

[tinknevertalks]

Saw a post about Nikola Tesla’s OCD on your blog, and absolutely agree with your tags: what if devampered Nikola started doing these things again? But also – imagine Victorian era / Oxford era Nikola struggling with this stuff, before Source Blood and all. ‘Aversion against the earrings of women’ – imagine him trying to fit in within the Five and being triggered by Helen’s jewelry (which is why at some point she stops wearing earrings all together, because she doesn’t want to see him uncomfortable). Or ‘I would not touch the hair of other people except, perhaps, at the point of a revolver’ – imagine him wanting to comfort Helen and stroke her hair, but being unable to do it? Nikola hating peaches. Nikola counting the steps in his walks. And the Five loving him and appreciating him still.

(Heads up right at the start: sorry if this triggers anyone. Also, if my thoughts are woefully ill-educated/wrong, I'm sorry again.)

I'm sure when they were in the middle of their Sanctuary fixation @zebsfloppyears had plans (or had even started) a fic that included Nikola's OCD... Maybe it was in Charybdis? But yes, it's something that could be so compelling and interesting to read, especially if it sorta braided on itself - present!mortal!Nikola doing the same things Victorian!mortal!Nikola did (and maybe a massive dollop of frustration that he's doing these rituals again after 100+ years of not needing to), and Helen learning again (and Henry learning for the first time) all the little things to avoid, intertwined with the rest of The Five learning his triggers (yes, even John, although once he realises where Nikola's gaze strays...).

I seem to have very specific vision of what I wanna read. 🙈😅☺️

#ask answered #lanistas #everything comes back to sanctuary #everything comes back to teslen #(kinda) #fic idea #headcanon #tw: ocd

[wantmeifyouwantme]

When someone says: “how can you have ocd if you are so messy and un-organised?”

like…. Bitch please? One, not all people with ocd are people who like things to be ordered and neat, and two, my head is so stressed, like, a lot of things are actually organised and scheduled in my brain. Like every night, I say goodnight to my parents in a specific way, always used to check both sides of the bed, organise stuffed animals in a specific way, make sure something is evenly balanced on both sides, make sure there are even amounts. What some people don’t understand is that not everything with ocd is always visible.

#OCD #tw: ocd #ocd is a bitch #and I hate it when people are like “oh I’m so ocd lololol haha I like to organise my pantry by colour haha wow so ocd” #Because in doing so it also is kinda offensive to people who do have a symmetry/ordering ocd

[spottedside]

Some more Aaron angst BUT IT DOES GET BETTER. TW for abusive parents, eating disorders and maybe OCD if thats a tw

Since the incident with Bianca, Aaron's family only got more hostile. When they realized they were nonbinary, they were shunned. Their parents didnt have a lot of money already, so their resentment for their child left them going hungry a lot of the time. When they did eat, they were constantly scolded and demeaned.

After a long time, Aaron managed to get a scholarship to a college due to their hard work. They moved away. Their parents always lingered with them, though.

Even now, they didn't eat. They had other things to do, other things to pay for. If the pain got intense enough, they'd dig through a small box and eat a granola bar or a slim jim. If they were lucky, they'd occasionally let themselves cook up a bowl of ramen in the microwave.

They could never control their life. They couldn't control their situation. They couldn't control how their parents treated them or where they lived, who they lived with or how they presented.

Now they could.

Their parents had beat it into their head that they weren't good enough, that they didn't deserve everything they were given. So they refused themselves that all the same. They controlled it.

They were always a little thin, but people started getting concerned at how thin they really were. They started wearing loose clothes, which wasn't what they preferred, but they were lucky to have clothes at all, weren't they? That's what mom and dad would say. They could control how they dressed now, and they could cover up their pain.

Eventually, Bianca got back in touch.

Aaron was about to graduate college and only had some funds saved for an apartment. They graduated, and Bianca let them move in with her.

She helped them recover from starving themselves. They were severely underweight at that point, and weren't sure of the last time they'd ever had a full meal. Even as they almost got back up to a healthy weight, they'd still restrict themselves.

They'd eat whenever food was given to them; it was rude to reject things, especially from family. However they didn't eat much outside of that. Now, again, their living space wasn't in their control. But it was Bianca. Someone they trusted.

Even then, they felt they needed to control everything. They needed to control their living space, their eating, their dressing, their job, their sleep, their entire life. They could now. They were away from their parents and they could control everything.

They didn't stay with Bianca for long, just long enough to get a little better and buy their own small house, not far from Bianca's place. Now alone, they could control everything. Their house was particularly placed, their schedule was precise and followed through exactly, and if anyone wanted to hang out, they would have to plan it out in advance. They controlled who they spoke to as well to the best of their ability, routing their day to only encounter those who wouldn't wreck their day. Everything in their office was organized, and if it wasn't they would drop everything and put it back into place.

That's why when Rick showed up, they didn't know how to feel. He completely ruined their tight schedule. He'd mess things up, put them out of place, disrupt their schedule by talking with them and getting them to do things not planned. It was irritating, it sent them into intense stress, and yet... they admired him.

Rick lived his life so carefree, so casually. He didn't mind what went where, just as long as he could find it again. He ate when he was hungry, he slept when he was tired, he had fun when he was bored. He was a free man.

That's when it hit them. This life wasn't normal, it wasn't natural. It made them feel better, the control, but was it really making them happy?

They broke their schedule themselves one day. They drove over to Bianca's after everything had been weighing down on them. They talked it through with her, explaining how tight of a grip they had on their own throat.

Bianca was there to support them. They gave them a lead, saying they might have OCD, and told them to go find a therapist somewhere.

Therapy was good to Aaron.

They'd talked about their family, their eating disorder, their tense and planned out life. They'd been diagnosed with OCD and anorexia and began treatment.

That's when they could really enjoy the people around them.

Wheatley was nice, if a bit dense, but well-intended nonetheless, and his sudden tangents didn't set them off anymore. Solar was enthusiastic and, though naive, never failed to brighten most of a room with their obsessive yet endearing rants. Virgil was someone they already liked, but they could really appreciate his optimism and could understand his job better now. Working with injured robots comes with very sudden jobs, but Virgil worked very well under that and Aaron could see why he enjoyed it.

They'd gotten closer to Bianca through everything. They were close as children, but now they could really appreciate Bianca's support, even if she was rough around the edges. After all, weren't they, too? Who wouldn't be coming from a family like theirs? They talked a lot more, about family and just in general.

Bianca put her posters and magazines back up. She bought new makeup. She even bought new nail polish. Aaron picked out purple. They could express themselves now, finally, though they didn't think they'd want to try again with red. It didn't suit them anyways.

They'd come to realize they admired Rick a little more than they once thought. He was funny, he was free, he was stupid in the most lovable way. He was spontaneous and loud and carefree. He was everything they wanted.

By some miracle, Rick admired them all the same. He admired their serious undertones and good planning skills outside of the over-controlling ones that had harmed their life.

The two got together.

Slowly, Aaron learned to trust Rick in his ideas, his adventures, his life. For the first time in a long time, Aaron relaxed. They had opened up to Rick about their issues and Rick helped them to cut out the things that hurt them.

Rick often took them out to eat and was a bit messier. Aaron still liked their environment to be tidy, but their intense control and stress over it had faded away through therapy and through the others that supported them.

After everything that happened, they finally found a balance in their life. After everything, they were happy.

#tw: ed #tw: ocd #tw: abusive parents #tw: abuse mention

[incompleteninny]

The eighty-second free, unedited chapter of my upcoming book, “The Heist at Cordia Aquarium” is now available on its website (or click https://www.kitfisto.gay/chapters/thea to read from the beginning).

Avery is dumbfound. How could she have believed it'd be as simple as a doctor's touch and she could do it? Anger coils in her gut, nestled within the compulsion's tentacular workings. Anger at Dr. Helen for not warning her. At her parents. Here, unable to help despite their wealth of lived experience. Shouldn't they know something? Shouldn't they already know what I'm struggling with?

No. That's not right.

Mom brushes a hand against Avery's uninjured shoulder. "What's wrong, dear? Are you okay? Do we need to get a doctor?"

Avery jerks away. "No!" She acts before she can think, driven on fumes of a momentary, unjustified anger. Guilt carves a spot alongside her heart. What's wrong with her? She scrambles for words to explain the thoughts running through her head. "Sorry, n-no. I don't need a doctor. I just... I don't know, I..."

[...]

#I forgot it was easter yesterday and called my grandparents. #Little did I know the whole dang family was there #I got passed around like a queer little hot potato to say hi to everyone #and a cow was there #very cute #tongue way too long #book tags btw #queer author #queer novel #queer webnovel #wlw love #protagonist with ocd #tw: OCD

[primordialscream]

i hate you ocd. i hate you intrusive thoughts. i hate you days wasted trying to solve a maze of triggering images and scenarios in my mind without never managing to, because there is always a "what if" around the corner. i hate you so much

#i am sorry i #will delete later #but fuck fuck fuck i hate it so much #tw: ocd #personal

[romanarose]

Why are your nails like that

Had a feeling this would happen eventually, someone would wonder wtf this is about, and when I posted that last pic, I was worried this would happen

I’ll take your question in good faith and answer genuinely

I have obsessive compulsive disorder, basically. OCD doesn’t care about looks, health or comfort. So I pick and chew and clip my nails as low as they can go, otherwise it’s ALL I can think of. The thoughts will be nonstop and they fucking such.

They hurt a lot. My toes are even worse, and often hurt really fucking bad in shoes. Ingrown nails and infections in my fingers and toes. Plus they look bad. They are embarrassing. I can’t do fake nails, so don’t ask. I have a lot of my OCD under control mostly, but this is not something I feel I can break. It’s been like this since I was a child, idk if I can break 20 years of this obsession and compulsion. And honestly? Idk if I want the stress of trying to break it

So yeah, these are my fingers, and I just refuse to feel bad about it. It’s like my SH scars, my acne scars, my stretch marks etc. it’s all the story of who I am.

#obsessive compulsive disorder #ocd #nail biting #compulsions #tw: ocd #tw ocd #romana personal posts