#ville valo fan fiction

[valos-venus-doom]

Drawn & Quartered -- Chapter 8

DECEMBER 2011 – 10 MONTHS LATER

Caitlyn was sitting at a table in some upscale restaurant in Helsinki, waiting for her boyfriend Matthias to return from the bathroom. They were out to dinner for their 1 year anniversary. Caitlin had given him back the ring he had tried giving her far, far too early right after Ville had broken up with her, and she had a feeling Matthias was going to try it again.

Caitlin could no longer stand him, but they had leased an apartment together, she felt stuck. She never loved Mattias, and if she was honest, she barely even liked him. She was just too afraid of being alone.

Across the city, Ville was packing sloppily, almost considering not doing it at all. It was customary, for him at least, to get a hotel room close to Tavastia for Helldone. If he partied too hard, or he was too tired, he could just walk 1 block instead of waiting for a taxi home during the busiest time of year.

Sasha, the groupie he’d met well over a year ago was helping him. Mostly just carefully folding clothes while he flung them at her. Ville barely tolerated her, and Sasha knew it. But she supplied him with pussy and coke and wasn’t bad to look at. However, he considered her vapid and annoying, so she never stuck around for more than a few hours, and Ville *never* allowed her to spend the night. For Ville, though he adamantly denied it to himself, was still painfully hung up on Caitlyn, and he was no closer to being ready for someone to take her spot in his bed than he had been a year ago.

But yet, he still hung out with Sasha enough that the press began calling her his girlfriend, which Ville refused to verify. He even found “friends with benefits” too strong of a term, but it had to do. “Random groupie I bang because she supplies me drugs” was pretty tasteless, even more so than the entire situationship Ville had found himself in.

Ville walked out of his closet with a few jackets and saw Sasha holding a ring box looking confused. “Where’d you get that?” he blurted out, sounding a lot harsher than he’d intended, startling Sasha.

“It was in the pocket of his jacket.” She replied, a small smile playing on her lips, like she was cautiously optimistic.

“Well put it down, it’s not for you.”

The smile immediately dropped from Sasha’s lips. “Sorry…” she muttered.

Instead of feeling bad, Ville’s annoyance just grew. He rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation, “I mean really, why would that be for you…” he grumbled.

Sasha was quiet for a while, embarrassed and dejected, but it was Ville Valo, and he gave her attention, so who was she to turn that down? “Do you want me to get you some coke for the weekend?” she sheepishly offered, trying to get back on his good side.

“No.” Ville replied quickly. “I told you I’m done with that.”

“Do you… want a bj?” she suggested

“No. Just—fucking take this, and go get me a carton of cigarettes.” He tossed some cash at her. “Make it two.”

Sasha silently got up and left, forgiving him immediately for how callous he had been, firmly believing it was a much better deal having Ville Valo in her life than not having him at all.

Back at the restaurant, Caitlyn blankly stared at Matthias as he was reading off a speech to her from his phone. She knew exactly where he was going with this, and she couldn’t even bring herself to feel badly about her disinterest. Suddenly, a large black truck stopped at a redlight right outside the windows she was facing. It had “HIM” plastered across the side.

Her eyes widened, “Of course” she thought… it was nearing Helldone again. That was their equipment truck making it’s way to Tavastia, surely. She’d seen it so many times before.

“So that’s why I really think that we’re meant to be together, and I was really hoping—”

“Matt.” Caitlyn cut him off quietly. “Do NOT get out of your chair and kneel down on this floor. Not again. Not in front of all these people.” her tone, though quiet, was sharp and stern.

Matthias looked confused, but Caitlyn continued, “You really want to do this *again*? You didn’t learn from the last time that doing this in public is *not* how I want this to happen?”

“Oh…” Matthias whispered.

“Do you remember what the hell I told you last time?”

“'Public proposals are tacky.'” Matthias sheepishly recited.

“You’d think you’d plan this out better.” Caitlyn rolled her eyes and took a big gulp of her wine. “This wine sucks.” She grumbled.

“Do you want to go someplace else?” Matthias questioned.

“Yeah, home.” Caitlyn picked up her purse and started walking out.

As Caitlyn walked the snowy streets, she felt her cheeks flush with anger. At herself for being so rude, at Matthias for being so dumb, at everyone for having the audacity to be walking so slow and in her way when she just wanted to hurry up and get home. Soon, something caught her eye. The equipment truck again, parked outback of Tavastia. Whether it was rage, or the several glasses of wine she’d had, suddenly Caitlyn turned and began hurriedly walking towards it. Not sure why or even what her goal was but she was focused. Almost too focused and nearly got hit by a car. Caitlyn ignored the angry horn blasts and kept moving.

She rounded the corner of the back of the building and saw the backdoors wide open as roadies and crew members buzzed around trying to get everything in order for the shows that were to be held the last 3 days of December. Ville was no doubt in there, getting things sorted himself. Rehearsing even. So, despite the knot in her stomach, she carried herself in through the backdoors. It had been one long year, and boy did she have some shit to get off her chest. She had a serious bone to pick with Ville.

She smiled politely at the crew members who met her eyes, they recognized her, so no one stopped her. Back in the dark corridors of the venue, she inhaled. The smell of lumber, dusty rafters, the faint smell of spilled beer and metalhead body odor… so many memories came flooding back to her. The walls around her were covered in scribbles and graffiti. She wondered if the doodle Ville had done was still there, so she started scanning the wall for something written in a purple Sharpie. Scanning carefully for what felt like a very long time, she found it. A purple heart, with the words “Ville & Cait 4evr” sloppily written in his handwriting within it. The threat of tears stung her eyes.

“Caitlyn?” a familiar voice made her jump.

Caitlyn recognized the voice immediately, it was Ville. She turned quickly to face him, his face a mixture of pleasant surprise and confusion, Caitlyn however looked like a deer in the headlights. They stared at each other for what felt like minutes, until Caitlyn gave a weak “Hi.” Her heart beating a mile a minute.

With that, Ville’s face dropped to borderline contemptuous. “What the hell are you doing here?” he asked harshly.

The tone in his voice reignited her own indignation. “You and I have unfinished business.”

“Oh do we?” Ville condescended. He glanced down at her left hand, finding no ring. “Guess it didn’t work out with Matthias so you’re here to fuck another friend of mine?”

Caitlyn’s face burned with anger and embarrassment. “You know what? Never fucking mind.” And she turned to walk away.

“Go ahead. Walk away. You’re really good at that, Caitlyn.” Ville called after her, causing her to stop dead in her tracks before swiftly turning on her heel.

“You know what, Ville? You’re right. I am good at that. About as good at it as you are being a dick.” She spat.

Ville scoffed, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Cait retorted, “You’re a massive fucking prick and I fucking hate you for what you put me through.”

“What I put you through?” Ville responded in disbelief. “What *I* put *you* through?! Caitlyn YOU are the one who left.”

“After you fucking TOLD me to, you fucking asshole!” she shouted.

“Fuck you! I never told you to leave!”

“What the FUCK was I supposed to do? YOU BROKE UP WITH ME!” she shouted, her voice echoing off the narrow hallway walls.

Ville stared at her as Caitlyn’s chest heaved from yelling, “I didn’t mean to.” Ville replied, barely audibly. Caitlyn could hardly hear him over the furious beating of her heart in her ears.

“What?!” Caitlyn shouted once more “What the hell does that even mean, Ville?!”

“I just wanted to feel like you fucking cared about me.” Ville admitted, clenching his jaw afterwards, in an attempt to stall the tears he knew were sure to well up in his eyes. The two silently stared at each other. Tears openly welling in Caitlyn’s eyes.

"I. ALWAYS. Cared about you." Caitlyn stared him down.

Ville stared back, trying to win the unspoken staring contest until he couldn't help himself. “I’m sorry.” his voice squeaked. Ville’s floodgates broke first, his fist balled up under his nose in a futile attempt to stop it. His head lowered as he cried.

Tears dropped from Caitlyn’s eye and she approached him. The pair tightly wrapped their arms around each other, almost uncomfortably, both breaking the floodgates even more. Caitlyn wept silently into his chest as Ville cried into the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Cait.” He sobbed quietly, his body shaking.

Caitlyn held him tight, inhaling his scent, which made her cry more. Cologne, cigarettes, and just the overall smell of him. She could even smell the house on his clothes. Finally, she felt like she was home. His arms felt so safe.

After a moment, Ville backed off from her, looking up at the ceiling light above his head, blinking rapidly, trying desperately to stop crying. Caitlyn looked around, suddenly realizing people were around and awkwardly trying not to look at them in true Finnish fashion.

“Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” she mumbled, wiping tears from her own cheeks.

Ville nodded and the pair silently left through the backdoors, passing by several very confused and concerned Tavastia employees. Caitlyn followed him, unsure of where they were even going, both of them walking awkwardly beside each other in an eerie silence. Caitlyn remarked that even the usually busy street was quieter than normal.

“Here, this is the place.” Ville muttered, after a block and a half, turning left into a Hilton hotel. Caitlyn followed him silently towards the elevators, avoiding each other’s gaze in the chrome elevator doors as they waited. The tension between them inside the elevator and wandering through the hotel hallway was palpable, neither one of them knew what to say to each other despite having a thousand things they wanted to say. They were both full of anger, longing, sadness, and anxiousness. They both loathed and loved each other, all at once.

Ville stopped at a door, pulled out his keycard and entered, holding the door open for Caitlyn, ever the gentleman. Caitlyn stood in the middle of the room, holding her coat, unsure of what to do.

“Sit.” Ville motioned to one of the two double beds in the room as he sat on the one closest to him. Cait sat, staring at her hands in her lap, Ville staring off into the distance towards to floor, arms crossed defensively. He was scared, they both were. Of what? Neither of them knew.

“How was your Christmas?” Caitlyn mumbled, unsure of how to break the silence.

“Miserable.” Ville blurted out. “Truthfully, I haven’t been much in the spirit since…” he trailed off.

Cait nodded, “Yeah. Me too...." Caitlyn took a deep breath and blurted out "I miss you." before she could scare herself out of it, but she didn't look at him.

Ville looked up at her, telepathically trying to get Cait to look at him in the face, "I miss you too." Cait bit her lip to try to keep her emotions in check, trying to think of what to say, but once again, the pair sat in awkward silence. “You still with Matthias?” Ville blurted out before he could chicken out.

Both of them were internally cringing at the question. “Yeah.” Caitlyn quietly admitted. Ville clenched his teeth, sharply inhalijg through his nose, feeling the rage building again, until Caitlyn continued, “But deeply unhappy. I hate him. I hate my life. I fucking hate everything.”

Ville exhaled and paused, “Yeah, I’ve been seeing someone too…” he admitted. “But not any happier than you are, to be quite honest.”

“That’s rebounds for ya.” Caitlyn nodded, still not making eye contact.

“Indeed.” Ville agreed. "But she doesn't mean anything. It's not serious."

"No?" Caitlyn questioned, eyebrows raised. Finally looking at him.

Ville shook his head, "Nope. Unlike one of us, I was devastated when we broke up and I had the decency to wait a while." Ville exaggerated, knowing he himself had only waited a few weeks. But Caitlyn didn't know that, he just wanted to make her feel bad.

Caitlyn furrowed her eyebrows, "If you're here to argue, I'm not interested."

"What *are* you interested in Caitlyn?" Ville narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms tighter. "Running back to me now that you're regretting your rebound?" the viciousness in his voice even made Ville himself uncomfortable.

"Wow, okay. I'm sorry I even came here..." Caitlyn stood up and headed to the door. Ville's pride forced him into hesitating a moment, but milliseconds later he leaped up from his seat and slammed the door shut before Caitlyn could get out into the hallway. The loud bang startling both of them a little, but they instead stared each other down, jaws clenched.

The standoff felt like hours, but it was mere seconds until Ville lunged, throwing Caitlyn against the door, attacking her lips with his, which she greedily accepted. A moan escaped Ville as he began kissing her deeper, his hand traveling down to her ass, gripping it tight as he pressed himself firmly against her.

Caitlyn pulled back, opting to kiss Ville's neck, right under his ear, and reaching down to cup the growing erection within his jeans. Ville slapped her hands away and began unbuckling his belt, allowing Caitlyn space to take off her top. The pair briefly glanced at each other before kissing each other hungrily and moving their way towards the bed closest to them.

Ville roughly pushed Caitlyn down as she hurriedly took off her tight jeans. Ville assisted by ripping them the rest of the way down her legs and before Cait knew what he was doing, he got on top of her, burying his fingers under her panties. Caitlyn gasped as electric pulses coursed through her body.

"I guess you really did miss me." Ville spoke in a husky whisper in her ear, remarking at how soaking wet she was. "I fucking missed you too." And without warning, Ville plunged inside of her.

He inhaled sharply, and for a moment he was still, relishing in the feeling of being inside the love of his life again, at long last.

Caitlyn wrapped her arms up around his neck as he began violently thrusting, causing her to cry out loudly in pleasure.

"You thought I'd let you fucking walk away from me again? You're wrong." He grunted between thrusts.

Caitlyn dragged her nails down his shoulders as her thighs clenched around him like a vice grip. "I fucking missed you so fucking much." She groaned, each syllable punctuated by Ville's harsh movements. "Fuck don't stop." She begged as she grew nearer to her climax.

Ville moved one hand to her neck and squeezed firmly, he remembered just how she liked it. "That's right, cum for me." He growled. That alone was enough to push Caitlyn over the edge as her legs began to shake and she screamed his name loudly. Ville kept going, prolonging her ecstasy, until he could no longer hold back and he came deep inside of her.

Ville and Cait laid together, sweaty and emotional, still riding the high from the orgasm they'd just had.

Once their bodies regulated, Ville rolled over to grab his pants to retrieve his cigarettes. It wad a non-smoking room, but he couldn't give less of a fuck if he tried. He lit his cigarette and leaned back against the headboard, right beside Cait. Inhaling deeply.

"We just cheated on our partners." Caitlyn said blankly, no guilt present in her voice. Matthias had been a rebound and nothing more, she knew it, and deep down she was sure he knew it too, though it was painfully obvious he wanted more.

"*You* cheated." Ville clarified, lighting a cigarette. "I told you, Sasha doesn't mean anything to me."

Caitlyn side-eyed him, "So since Matthias doesn't mean anything to me, that means I didn't cheat?"

Ville side-eyed her back, "I'm not the one who went and got engaged."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Not engaged. Never fucking was." She sighed. "C'mon Ville, you gotta admit that Sasha would be upset if she knew about this."

Ville shrugged, "Doesn't mean I give a fuck." And took a deep drag off his cigarette.

Caitlyn furrowed her eyebrows, "What happened to you?" His callousness was unnerving.

"You." He blurted out and then turned his head to look at Cait. "You happened."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, "Might I remind you that--"

"Okay, Caitlyn." Ville interrupted, his voice raising. "I broke up with you. I fucking get it."

"So why are you taking it out on me?" Cait asked sitting up and turning toward him.

"Because you left. You didn't-- you didn't try. Fight. You just left." Ville's face was a mix of indignation and hurt. "And then you fucked my friend, Cait. Of all the people in the world, you chose-- that fucking destroyed me, Caitlyn."

"You know back then I swore it wasn't to hurt you, but it was. I was so, *so* fucking angry with you. I knew it would hurt. I wanted you to hurt ad badly as I did." Caitlyn paused "But what about you? Are or were you using Sasha to spite me?"

Ville shook his head and took another hit off his cigarette. "Nah."

"No?" Caitlyn questioned.

"Nope. To be honest, she's just a warm body. She might as well be a blow-up doll with a pulse."

"Wow." Caitlyn was once again impressed by the cold callousness Ville was showing.

"Whatever. She's using me too. She's a fucking groupie. And far as I'm concerned, that makes us square." Ville stopped and put out his cigarette directly on the hotel nightstand. "I'd been meaning to ask, and I want you to be honest... When did you fuck him?" Ville asked dryly. "The first time?" He added to clarify.

"What does that matter?" Cait asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Because I decided so." Ville whipped back, barely masking his rage. Cait stared at him quietly. "Oh my God... you fucked him the same fucking day we broke up, didn't you?"

Caitlyn didn't answer, her eyes flicked off to the side.

Ville ripped the blanket off of him and quickly got out of bed. Standing with one hand on his forehead, the other on his hip. "Where?"

Caitlyn stared at him bewildered, "What?"

"Where, Caitlyn? I swear to God if you tell me you fucked him in my.... in OUR bed...." Ville quickly corrected himself, trailing off before letting out a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair.

"What the fuck does that matter?" Caitlyn asked "Are you not fucking Sasha in 'our' bed?" Using heavy quotation marks in her tone.

"Jesus fucking Christ, cait, stop bringing her up!" Ville yelled.

"WHY?" Caitlyn yelled back, matching his volume.

"BECAUSE. SHE. MEANS. NOTHING!" He screamed back. "You ran off and got fucking engaged to someone! Engaged within *weeks*, Caitlyn." His voice cracked. "That must mean you had feelings for him." His voice trembled. "Even just a little, you had feelings for him."

Caitlyn stared, tears welling, "Ville... I don't."

"Don't fucking do that, don't pander to me."

"Ville, I'm not! I don't love him." Caitlyn put her head in her hands, "Why do you think I'm here? Do you really think if I loved him I would have chased you down for closure? And immediately gotten into bed with you?" She sighed heavily. "Matthias was the rebound that went too far. I was afraid of being alone... now here I am."

Ville closed his eyes and exhaled. "What if I don't want closure?"

"What?" Caitlyn lifted her head to look at him.

"What if I don't want closure? What if I want you to rip my healing heart back open? What if I want you back?"

Cait stared at him for a moment, "Don't you think we should slow down? I mean a few hours ago we just saw each other for the first time in a year."

Ville chuckled, "That's fucking rich coming from you. I really want to know, Caitlyn. About when and where you fucked Matthias after you left. I need to know. I need to."

"Yes I slept him the same night you broke up with me. No, I didn't take him into your house."

Ville stared for a moment into the distance, processing. "Our house. That house is yours too and you know it." He mumbled.

"She doesn't live there with you?" Cait asked.

Ville contorted his face with disgust, "Fuck no. I barely allow her to sleepover." He sat down on the edge of the bed, smiled, still staring into the distance. "You know, aside from the fridge... I haven't touched the kitchen."

Cait smiled "In an entire year you haven't used the kitchen? Why does that not surprise me?"

Ville sat back down on the bed. "Everything is exactly how you left it. Pristine. Well. In the kitchen that is. Why did you deep clean the house before leaving, by the way?"

"Because... I wanted it to hurt. I wanted you to be reminded of who you left, and what you were missing out on."

"I knew the second I walked out the door, Caitlyn." He looked her in the eyes. "You didn't need to remind me, sweetheart. The fucking moment I stepped foot outside I knew I should have turned around. Turned around and grabbed you and held you an apologized for being such a massive fucking asshole to you."

Cait stared at him "Why didn't you?" Her voice barely a whisper.

"Because I was... a stupid petulant child. You were right." Another tear fell out of his eye. "I was possessive and jealous and selfish..." he put his face in his hands, elbows resting on his knees, in frustration.

"Ville I had just lost my dad. I was coming up on my first Christmas without him. I just wanted to spend time with my friends at the slopes so I could distract myself." Caitlyn explained.

"I know." Ville said quietly. "And trust me, everyone in my life reminded me and straight up told me I fucked up." He sighed heavily before continuing. "But I was so angry. And I was stubborn. I wanted you to beg for me back... and then I found out you fucked Matthias and I was pissed. My anger felt more justified. But I was also devastated. I knew deep down I had fucked up."

Ville paused, biting his lip closed his eyes, "But when I found out... when I found out you had you got engaged after we broke up... I'm not going to lie to you Caitlyn. I went home that night and thought of every way I could kill myself. I- I had a mental breakdown. I smashed furniture. I put holes in the walls... Mige came to check on me because I didn't get out of bed or answer my phone for 5 days after. I nearly gave myself alcohol poisoning and I had nonstop coke-induced panic attacks... He feared the worst and didn't want my parents to find me first."

"I'm sorry." Caitlyn whispered tearfully. "I wish I could say I never meant to hurt you but I did."

"You didn't hurt me, you destroyed me." Ville corrected. "But I deserved it. I should have married you myself when I had the chance."

Ville turned to face Caitlyn before continuing. "I had a ring for you, you know."

Caitlyn's face dropped, "You did?"

Ville nodded, "Yeah, I wanted to propose over the summer, but then your father died and I knew it wasn't the right time. And... fuck, I wanted to propose to you on New Years at midnight, on stage, at Helldone. I was more agitated than usual, hence the fight, and I started getting cold feet, and I broke up with you. When what I should have done was told you how much I loved you and how scared I was."

"Why were you so scared?" Caitlyn questioned. "I talked about marrying you for years. I wouldn't have said no."

Ville shrugged, "I'm my own worst enemy and I self-sabotage. You know that. You not coming home to spend time with me before tour pissed me off and in my mind, it was a sign that I shouldn't marry you. But I know how fucking stupid that sounds, trust me. Every one of my friends and family have told me how badly I fucked up."

"We're both really fucking stupid." Caitlyn mumbled.

Ville nodded in agreement.

"So what now?" Caitlyn asked.

#ville valo #vv #ville valo fan fic #ville valo fan fiction #neon noir #him #h.i.m #heartagram #his infernal majesty #love metal

[esta-elavaris]

Tagged by @wanderdreamer thank you 💜💜

Favorite Color: if we're just going by the ones I wear the most, black, green, red, and gold. Big fan of the red nails and red lipstick combo. This is just a tricky one, though, because I'm a fan of every colour in the right context. But I'm a big ol' goth so that influences things lolol.

Last Song: Passion's Killing Floor - HIM (god, Ville Valo's lyrics tho)

Last Movie: Last Night in Soho -- this is a weird one for me because uhhh like the protagonist I absolutely did not Do Well when I went to uni in London from a personal standpoint, so watching it always brings that back, but it's such a good movie.

Currently Watching: I've been slowly picking my way through Snowpiercer with a one episode per night at most pace. I watched the first ~season and a half a little over a year ago so it's been fun to come back to! I'm so bad for "watching" things by putting them on as background noise while I write, and then I have no idea what's actually going on, so it's been a nice change of pace to actually just sit and properly watch something for an hour each evening.

Other Stuff I Watched This Year: The Great, which I really enjoyed once I got used to the tone of it. I also keep meaning to catch up with Peaky Blinders, but it's one of those that you really have to properly watch and like I said I'm bad at that. I also want to rewatch Outlander from the beginning before I get into the new and final season, so that could be a good background noise shout! Also slowly getting into The White Lotus. And I finally completed the Sopranos this month, after swearing I would for years and somehow (?!?!) managing to avoid spoilers for the ending.

Oooo also the Serpent Queen! Didn't expect to enjoy that one as much as I did!

Shows I Dropped This Year: There've been quite a few but I could not name them because I tend to get 30 mins in, realise every character could die in the next scene and I would not care, and that's that. The Last of Us fell victim to that. I got to a point where I was so bored and only watching it for the hype, which is no reason to do anything you don't enjoy.

Currently Reading: God, getting a Switch lite decimated my previously very good reading habit this month, but I'm getting back into it. Currently rereading The Two Towers (just finished the Helm's Deep chapter), and reading David Goggins' second book for the first time. I like having a non-fiction one on the go because I always find it inspiring, whereas fiction is just pure escapism for me 💜

Thank you for the tag! I enjoyed it!

Tagging @ass-deep-in-demons, @neverisle, @scyllas-revenge, @quillofspirit and @trenko-heart

#tag game #tag games

[tj-dragonblade]

Tagged by @seiya-starsniper, thank you! It's delightful to see new/different get-to-know-me questions circulating

Who was your first fictional crush?

Tygra from Thundercats. Had a friend when I was maybe ten and we'd hang out at recess and she'd make up Thundercats stories, and she loved picking on Tygra in these stories, so at some point I ended up going 'stop being mean to him, fuck it he's mine now' and I don't know if you'd call it a proper crush but there you go.

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour? …Purple

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day? Don't know that I've ever been scarred by fic, per se. But that MCU fic where they used pancake syrup as lube still drifts to mind every now and then

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me? Ahhhhhh, uhm, I don't really have the kitchen skills uh. I will corral Mr TJ to make you his signature chili and cornbread

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos? Kangaroos

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them? Danzo from Naruto perhaps - I mean it's not an 'oh my god I just love this guy' kind of thing as 'this dude is absolutely fascinating and compelling as a villain to the story who willingly makes himself the villain for the greater good and thereby maybe sees himself a sort of hero.' I enjoy him where most of fandom loves to just hate on him, and I definitely like him far better than any of the other villains that Naruto fandom adores

But also. Erik, Phantom of the Opera? Like yeah okay he's Got Issues he's murdered he's a stalker a manipulator etc etc but I have never felt inclined to root for anyone else in that story, sorry. He's probably the prime candidate if I was going to undertake to rewrite 'the story you think you know' a la Wicked or Maleficent

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls? I'm sorry I have never seen Mean Girls and don't know enough to answer this one

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom? Favorite as in current? Barring that 24-hour diner business (I had the impression it was worldwide but I could be wrong), probably alright. Favorite as in longest-standing? I'll probably be fine in the Trek-verse too

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre? I have not

Do you feel sorry for Medusa? Not something I'd ever thought about? But I am a fan of the trend of taking classic stories and reworking them from new perspectives, different points of view, with the idea that the narrative we're used to being given may not be how it actually went. So…I'm inclined to view her sympathetically?

Which song makes you think of your OTP? Uh, for current otp, maybe it would be Ville Valo's Olet Mun Kaikuluotain? Not even lyrically, just. Vibes. Soft waltzy quiet cozy romance vibes and that's what I want for them

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest? Depends on several factors but usually it will be if a song is firmly attached to a story in my head, where the story is built on or around the song. Like there was a whole multi-incarnation backstory I had in my head for Goujun/Tenpou at one point in my Saiyuki days, springboarded from Nightwish's Ghost Love Score to some degree, and for awhile that song would put me deep in the thought-spinning for that (which of course I never wrote)

Tagging, no obligation, tag me in your existing post as applicable: @danikatze, @zzoomacroom, @teejaystumbles, @academicblorbo, @staroftheendless, @chaosheadspace, @rooftopwreck

#tagmemes

[catboy-hanniballecter]

I looked up a couple of interpretations on this song and liked this one.

“Temple of Love” originally from The Sisters of Mercy and covered by Black Veil Brides (ft. VV) seems to be a song about a tumultuous and intense love affair that takes place within the metaphorical "temple of love." The temple represents a place of refuge or sanctuary where one can escape from the pain and chaos of the outside world. The song's lyrics suggest that this love affair is passionate but ultimately doomed and destructive.

In the first verse, the singer describes being in the midst of a chaotic scene - there are fireworks exploding above and he is armed with a gun to defend himself against pain. Despite the chaos, he still seeks refuge in the temple of love, though he recognizes that it is an illusory sanctuary. The lyrics suggest that the singer is aware that he may be deluding himself by seeking safety in love, since he states that "you run for another but it's still the same."

In the chorus, the singer invites the listener to join him in this temple of love, which is described as being both powerful and emotional. The lyrics conjure a sense of both strength and vulnerability: the image of thunder is powerful and intimidating, while the image of crying and weeping is vulnerable and emotional.

In the second verse, the singer describes a sense of loss and regret. He describes his guardian angel walking away, and recognizes that life is short and love is fleeting. The "black wind" represents the sense of change and unpredictability that is inherent in life - it blows the temple of love down and calls the singer's name, suggesting that change is inevitable and cannot be avoided.

The final stanza speaks to the ultimate futility of love, suggesting that all human endeavors are ultimately futile. The "faith for bricks and dreams for mortar" indicates that everything is temporary and fleeting; all one can do is make the most of what time they have left. The repeated refrain of "Hear my calling" suggests a sense of desperation and longing, a plea for meaning in a world where everything is ultimately meaningless. The final line, "And the temple of love is falling down," suggests that the singer recognizes the inevitability of change and the futility of clinging to illusions of permanence or safety.

https://www.songtell.com/black-veil-brides-ft-vv-ville-valo/temple-of-love

From BVB’s tiktok

I first discovered Sisters of Mercy in my freshman year of high school, I had a poster of AFI from the Art of Drowning Era and Davey was wearing a SOM shirt and so as was often the case back then I went on the hunt to find the music that inspired my favorite musicians. The very first song I heard by SOM was the 92’ version of “Temple of Love” and I became obsessed with their entire catalog. We’ve talked about doing a BVB version of this song for years and when given the opportunity to collaborate with fellow SOM fan and goth rock icon VV (Ville Valo) it seems like the perfect situation. We are thrilled with how it turned out and hope that anyone who’s familiar with the track enjoys our spin on it and those who have never heard the original enjoy it and maybe this will lead them down the path to the greatness that is SOM like that poster of AFI did for me when I was a kid.

-Andy Biersack

Another one I liked was this one here by “humminwinder”

Thinkin' 'bout this song speaks about kind of fictional love, based entirely on illusions... and not on real emotional state..

like in life you need some kind of temple to protect you from outside world of "pain and fear".. one place for all your hopes and dreams about one person to pray for and keep that fictional world in belief that same person is somehow feeling something too..

..and then you feel unable to keep that temple standing when it gives away under the storm of "black winds" of disillusion following the bitter realization, evidence that he or she don' gives a fuck about you... unprepared to accept the fact but just trying to rebuild it from "breaks" and "mortar" of illusion you feel safe in... while one by one storms of truth keep pounding.. wreackin' havoc upon believin' nature of soul until slowly your faith in love becomes so bleak it finally disappears... unreverseably goes down with the temple (at the end temple falls down totally)

In word, this song is for those types of souls who end up destroying their ability to love for real

just because they spent to much time in fear of loosing it...

And it's a destiny known to me only to well!

#black veil brides #Ville Valo #The Sisters of Mercy #Temple of Love

[nostalgiachan]

Time once again for OC redraws! It’s a very musical squad today.

Musical character lore below the cut!

#17: Zeros Kamui Idea: Baby's First Uke. Also a pop idol. Story: Luster

Let's be completely honest with ourselves: he's basically Shuichi Shindou. He might not have initially resembled Shuichi, but he's Shuichi. Maybe with a couple more braincells.

Zeros Kamui is a wildly successful pop idol with a keen eye for what his fans like: crossdressing dudes and The Gay. He once wore a miniskirt and thong on stage and acted as a goofy alter ego named Super Para-Para Powerpuff Zero-chan and the fans went bonkers for it, so while he wasn't super into the crossdressing aspect (or was he? ;)), it was a fun thing to do on occasion. It was during one of these Zero-chan stints that he decided to bring his bodyguard, Lust, on stage and plant a kiss on him.

But he totally wasn't gay, though. In fact, Zeros was very much the "doesn't realize he's gay until there's a dick halfway up his ass" kind of uke. Which is precisely what happened when Lust came to see him after the show and took his virginity in a drunken free-for-all. Fortunately for him, Zeros was more than okay with this turn of events.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about thongs tho

And then Zeros was kidnapped in the middle of a show by a wealthy crazed fan who met Zeros once at a meet and greet and decided he wanted to collect him. So Lust has to go collect Zeros back.

#18: Mina Grace/Mina Nevermore Idea: The rock star lead singer I wanted to be as a kid. Story: D.A.R.K. (not so much a proper story as an OC concept)

Oh boy, oh boy, time for the first iteration of my fictional band, D.A.R.K. In and out of universe, the name doesn't actually mean anything. Out of universe, I tried to come up with a cool acronym, like how HIM had once stood for His Infernal Majesty, but nothing really felt right. Instead, I went with the in-universe explanation that they wanted to do something like KISS's name, where everyone comes up with a different meaning and the band refuses to reveal what it means (because it doesn't actually mean anything and it's more fun to watch people guess).

Mina was basically my self-insert; lived in the same town I did, had the same side part and half-lid eyes, had the same taste in clothes and penchant for red and black, her last name's my middle.  Apparently I first came up with her concept after watching a Flyleaf video.

She was basically everything I wanted to be if I was a rock star: cool, yet chill, the sickest wardrobe straight out of late 00s Hot Topic, and an awesome singer who totally didn't get stage fright, no sir. She and her band mates were all super best friends and eventually she'd end up dating her lead guitarist, Valo (another instance of me taking the name of something/someone I really liked and applying it to a character).

Most of what I wrote about these guys was actually "use the word in a sentence" vocabulary exercises in my English class, lol.

#19: Valo Idea: Genderfluid guitarist Story: D.A.R.K.

Ah, dear Valo. Valo was basically my first attempt at playing with gender presentation and androgyny aside from Neros, so bear with me.

Despite being obviously named after Ville Valo, they're almost entirely based on Davey Havok of AFI, being a combination of Sing the Sorrow-Davey's androgyny and decemberunderground-Davey's hair and makeup. I also inadvertently channeled Malice Mizer's Mana in Valo's habit of never speaking above a whisper.

The reason for whispering is that they like to keep people guessing about their gender; their sense of fashion is very GNC, they're able to do back-up vocals in both masculine and feminine styles, and the other band members refuse to divulge any details about their gender.

At the time, I referred to them as "it" because I had no fucking clue what being non-binary was or using they/them. Looking back on them, I'm not sure if I consider them non-binary or a very genderfluid male. I think at the time, I saw them as genderfluid male before I ever knew what that was, but I wanted to keep up the mystery, so I'll stick to they/them if I ever use them again.

Also they play lefty guitar, so that's fun.

#20: Hermanni Lobelia Hargreaves Idea: Bubbly bassist Story: D.A.R.K.

Eventually, Lemon's gonna smack me for the number of repurposed Finnish names in this segment. He's gonna strangle me when we get to Winterstrike

Hermanni Hargreaves, kawaii bassist with her kawaii pet hamster, Gas. And yes, they, too, have names taken straight from HIM: Hermanni is Ville Valo's middle name and Gas was their longtime drummer. As for other inspirations, her massive rat tails were taken from Albel Nox from Star Ocean: Til the End of Time, her middle name is the all-girls academy from Ouran High School Host Club, and her general fashion sense was very anime and J-Fashion.

Unfortunately, beyond her general concept of bubbly, upbeat, weeby bassist, I don't have much else documented about her character.

#my art #100 oc challenge #oc redraw #original characters #pencil art #traditional art

[its-poetry-carved-in-flesh]

Chapter 33

Authors note: It’s been soo long since I love posted but I’ve been trying to get back into this story to finish it.

“What date are you leaving” Elle said “the 15th” Neke replied, Neke was surprising Ville in London for a few days. She had organised everything with Mig’e so Ville had no idea, she was so excited to see him in a little over two weeks. They hadn't had much time to video chat to each other or even call each other due to the time differences so most of their conversations were via text. Neke couldn't wait till Christmas for them to finally get home from tour “Elle come here” Neke yelled from the office. Elle walked in “what's up” she asked “the store next door is going to be available soon our landlord emailed me asking if we wanted it so we could expand our store.” Elle thought about it “it would be cool to have a bigger store but can we afford the extra rent and renovations” she asked.

“I'll go meet with Henry tomorrow and talk about the rent and I'll look into our finances tonight but I think we should be able too.” Elle smiled “awesome” they heard the door bell chime, Elle walked out to great the customer, Neke picked up her phone and called the real estate office, a woman answered “fernway realty this is Jasmine speaking” she said “hi Jasmine is Henry in” she asked “yes he is i’ll connect you now” she said. The phone rang a few times “Henry speaking” he said “hi Henry this is Dominke I got your email” she said “uh yes so I take it your interested in taking the shop next door” he said. “Yes we are interested are you free tomorrow to discuss it all” she asked “let me check” he said “uhhh I have a one o'clock tomorrow” he said “yeah that will be great” Neke said “ok see you then” he said and he hung up.

Neke walked out of the office and into the shop, she looked around “it would be cool to have a bigger shop.” Elle nodded “if we do this are we going to just be online while we renovate or should we rent somewhere temporarily” she asked. “I didn't think of that” Neke said “once we know what's going on I'll figure it out” Neke said “Ill ask Henry tomorrow if he knows of any temporary shops of short lease places we could rent while we renovate.” Elle smiled “sounds good” she said, they spent the rest of the day serving customers and talking about how the would renovate the place if they did get the shop next door.

————————

“What do you two want me to get you for lunch when I'm done at the realestate” Neke asked “what about some pasta from that little Italian place on the foreshore” Hadley asked. “Yeah get that” Elle added “okie dokie will do I'll be back soon” Neke said grabbing her handbag “bye” Elle said, Neke walked out of the shop to her car, she climbed in and drove to the realestate. She walked in just as Henry walked out from the back “Domineke perfect timing” he said “this way” he said gesturing for her to follow him. Neke followed him down the hall into his office “so your interested in the shop next door to yours” he said smiling. Neke smiled “yeah we are” she said “it's not available until mid December” he said “that's fine” she said.

He opened the file with Neke's and Elle's name on it “ok so your paying just under four thousand a month including all the fees on top of your rent.” Neke nodded “I emailed the owner and gave him my figures for you renting the space as both the stores will now become one big store.” Neke nodded “let me check my emails quickly to see if they have replied” he said, Neke sat patiently as Henry looked at his emails “you're in luck” he said, Neke waits as he reads the email “so the owner has agreed to rent the it all to you to you at the amount I sent.” Neke nodded “give me a minute to add fees a such” he said, Neke watched as he grabbed his calculator and started adding a bunch of numbers up. “Ok so for both shops or your new bigger shop rather you would be looking at six and a half thousand that's including all fees” he said.

Neke nodded “that's fantastic” she said “I had a look through our finances and I worked out everything as if we would pay double and we could do it then so this is even better.” Henry smiled “that's great” he said “so I can draw up all the paperwork but nothing can be signed just incase the renters now have issues and need extra time or anything but you will be kept in the loop” he said. Neke smiled “thank you” she said “the owner has asked for blueprints of the new layout to be sent to him before anything gets renovated” he said. Neke nodded “I can get you the layout for next door or I guess you could simply visit while they are open” he said.

Neke nodded “another question when we do renovate we were thinking about getting a temporary place to run the business from until the store is finished” she said. Henry nodded “I will keep my eye out on what comes available and I will let you know, I will also email owners of properties ending near the start of December and see if they are open to a short lease.” Neke smiled “thank you so much Henry” she said “no problem Domineke” he said “that's all for today if you have any questions email me” he said “will do” Neke said as she stood up. She bid him good day and left the building, she got back in her car and smiled, she drove down to the Italian place and grabbed lunch for the three of them.

She drove back to the store, she parked and walked inside “soooo” Elle said, Neke hesitated “I don't know if we can do it” she said, Elle frowned “why too expensive” she asked. “I don't know if we can wait till December to get started on our new shop” she said smiling, Elle smiled “we can do it” she said excitedly. Neke nodded “we can all we have to do is send blue prints of the reno before we sign so the owner can put his input in.” Elle grinned “so exciting” she said, Neke nodded “I know now let's eat I'm starving” she said putting the food on the counter.

————————-

Neke had Mig’e helping her sort everything out for her surprise visit, Mig’e said that he had been talking to Ville about dressing up in the bedroom because his wife had done it as a birthday gift for him. Ville had let slip he used to fantasise about the sexy maid so Mige had taken it upon himself to let Neke know of this information. Neke has spent weeks getting everything ready for Ville’s surprise visit, she found herself the sexiest maids outfit. She made sure everything was packed and that she wasn’t leaving anything behind, she made her way to the airport. She enjoyed a cup of tea while she waited for her plane, she was excited to see Ville but nervous if he would like her surprise.

Neke walked out of the airport and jumped into the first taxi she seen, she gave the driver the hotel address. She texted Mige saying she was on her way, moments later her phone buzzed, Mige has texted saying he had recruited Gas and now Ville and Gas were out “sight seeing.” Neke shook her head, Mige sent her his room number, not long after Neke arrived at the hotel, she quickly paid the driver and quickly made her way inside hoping no one saw her. She took the elevator up to Mige’s room, she knocked on the door, he opened it grinning. “You made it” he said, Neke smiled “I did” she hugged him “ok so the plan is I will go join Ville and Gas and you get ready then text me and I'll come back with them.” Neke smiled “also I even got a cleaners trolley for you to leave at the door like they do” Neke laughed “you went all out didn't you.”

Mige smiled “if you could see how mopey he has been you would understand” he said, Neke nodded “fair enough.” Mige smiled “here is his room key the cleaning trolley is at the end of the hall waiting for you” Neke nodded “text me when your ready” he said. Neke nodded, Mige left the room, Neke had a shower and got herself ready. She put on her makeup and done her hair, she slipped on her maids outfit making sure everything sat perfectly. She pulled her stockings on and slipped her high heels on, she put one of Mige’s dressing gowns over the top and sent the text she was ready. She walked out of the room and down the hall, she grabbed the trolley and caught the elevator up to Ville’s room.

“Come on let's go back I'm tired” Gas said, Ville nodded, he lit a smoke on the walk back to the hotel. After a short walk the arrived out the front, he put his smoke out and got into the elevator “see you later lads” he said as Gas and Mige got off on their floor. Ville got off the elevator and walked down the hall he sighed when he seen the cleaners trolley, he really wanted to lay down for a while. He walked in the room and stopped dead in his tracks, in front of him was a women bent over, she had a maids uniform on but it covered nothing. His heart was racing what if this was a fan or god forbid an actual cleaner, he didn't know what to do. Neke bit her lip while she kept pretending to dust, she stood up and started dusting the shelves.

Ville cleared his throat “can I help you” he said, Neke didn't turn around “you certainly can” she said. Ville froze he could of sworn that was Neke talking but it couldn't be “excuse me” he said “my ass isn't going to smack itself” she said. Ville raised his eyebrow “Neke” he said cautiously, she smiled “who else would be in here shaking her ass for you” she said, she turned around. Ville took her in, there she was in front of him in a little maids outfit, he walked over and closed the door. It clicked “Mige helped you” he said, Neke laughed “you like it” she said, Ville walked over “well what to do with you” he teased, he pushed her onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

————————

Neke woke up the next morning, she smiled when she felt Ville behind her, she had missed him so much. “Morning kulta” he said, she smiled “been awake long” she asked “not too long I was enjoying the cuddles” he said. Neke smiled “that's lovely but we stink” she said, Ville chuckled “well strenuous activity will do that” he said. Neke smiled “shower with me” she asked, he nodded, they climbed out of bed and into the shower. “I can't believe Mige helped you do this for me” he said, Neke laughed “he said you had been moping too much” she said. Ville chuckled “yeah I probably have” Ville admitted, Neke smiled “but I'm better now” he said smiling. They washed themselves then go out, they got dressed and decided to go out for breakfast, they got on the elevator.

“Good morning my room needs cleaning” Mige said as he got on the elevator, they laughed “did everyone know about this” Ville asked. Mige nodded “I needed help” he said “well thank you and maybe now you won't have to deal with my mopey mood.” Mige smiled “that's good but seriously my room needs cleaning” he said, Neke smiled “I think Ville would look fabulous in that maids outfit” she teased. They laughed “want to join us for breakfast” Ville asked “sure why not” Mige said, they all walked down and found themselves a nice cafe to eat at. They all ordered, they chatted about things they had been doing while they ate their breakfast. Neke and Ville spent the rest of the day waking around and enjoying each other's company before the concert that night.

Neke spent the next two days with Ville and the rest of the band, they went sight seeing and cafe hunting through the day then Neke joined them for their concerts at night. Today Neke flew home “three days wasn't nearly enough” she said, Ville nodded “I know but it's not long now till you see me again” he said. Neke nodded “I know plus the shop will keep me busy” she said, Ville smiled “thank you so much for doing this for me” he said, Neke smiled “anytime” she said. “Text me when you land so I know you're ok” he said, Neke nodded “I'll miss you” he said “well don't mope around too much” she teased. “I'll try not to” he said, she kissed him “I love you” she said “I love you too” he replied, they kissed again then Neke walked through the boarding gate.

———————

A few weeks had passed, Neke had been super busy with Elle figuring out how they would have the store laid out once it was bigger. “Leave the change rooms where they are that way we don't have to re build them” Elle said, Neke agreed. “How about we knock this wall out so we have a bigger store room” Neke said “yeah that would be good” Elle said. A couple hours later “so this is the one we definitely want” Neke said “yeah” Elle said “you sure cause I'm going to email it” she said. Elle hesitated “uh yeah” Neke rolled her eyes “yes it's the one I want” Elle said again “good” Neke said. Neke walked in the office she started to make the blue print of the computer to send to the realestate.

After a hour or so she was done, she emailed it off, she walked out “done” she said, Elle smiled “I hope the owner approves it” she said. Neke nodded “me too” she said, Neke started cleaning up as it was almost closing time “I'm starving” Neke said. Elle laughed “what are you having for dinner” she asked “fish and veggies” Neke said “again” Elle said. “What I really want fish and it’s the right season for nice fresh fish” she said, Elle laughed “weirdo” Neke shrugged “whatever” she said as she continued to clean. “Well I'm off home” Neke said, Elle nodded “see you tomorrow” she said, Neke nodded and left the shop. She walked home and started to get dinner ready for her and Xavier, she heard the front door open and close.

“How was work” she yelled “crap” Xavier yelled back, he walked down the hallway “had a safety meeting most of the day.” Neke smiled “fun” she said sarcastically, Xavier smiled “hey least I get paid to listen to it” he said, she nodded. “What are you cooking” he asked “garlic butter fish and veggies” she said “you know this is the third time this week we have had fish” he said. Neke shrugged “well cook yourself something else then” she snapped “I wasn't having a go I was just saying.” Neke sighed “sorry I'm just exhausted” she said “all good” he said. Neke nodded and continued cooking dinner, not long later they sat at the table and ate dinner.

Neke woke up, she felt horrible, she pulled herself out of bed and got into the shower, she still felt so tired. She got out and got ready for work, she went to the kitchen and made herself a tea, she took a sip and instantly felt sick. She spat the tea out into the sink, the milk must be off again she thought, she threw the milk into the bin. She rinsed her mouth of with water, she patted Edgar on her way out the door, she walked to work. “You look horrible” Elle said, Neke raised her eyebrow “thanks I feel horrible” she said “have you had breakfast” Elle asked. Neke shook her head “would you believe it my milk was off again” she said, Elle raised her eyebrow “again that’s crap” she said, Neke nodded.

———————

“Xavier seriously” Neke yelled “what” he said, she walked down the hallway holding his shirt “how hard is it to put the shirt in the basket” she snapped. “It must of missed when I threw it” he said “this is ridiculous your not five” she said annoyed “what is up your ass lately” he snapped back. “Excuse me” she said “you've been acting like a psycho” he said “your kidding me right” she snapped “do I look like I'm kidding all you have done is whinge lately about everything.” Neke scoffed she couldn't believe what she was hearing “that's because your pissing me off” she yelled “fuck this” Xavier said. “I'm going I'll see you tomorrow” he said as he pushed past Neke and walked into his room “yeah off you go” she spat.

Xavier didn't respond, she heard him leave, she went and out his washing in the basket “see how hard” she muttered to herself. She heard her phone ringing, she grabbed it and answered it “hey” she said “hi darling how are you” Ville asked. “Fine” Neke said “you don't sound fine” he said, Neke rolled her eyes “Xavier was annoying me” she said. “What did he do now” Ville asked “he couldn't put his washing in the basket he dumped it right beside it” she said. “Maybe he had a rough day at work” he said “really” Neke said “I mean I don't know but it's not a big deal” he said. Neke sighed “so let me guess your going to agree with him about how all I do is whinge” she snapped “what no that's not what I'm saying” Ville said. “What are you trying to say then” she demanded “what's going on with you” he asked “nothing” she snapped back.

“You seem stressed” he said “I'm not stressed” she said annoyed “well you don't seem like yourself” he said sympathetically. “Well I don't know” Neke said, she started crying “are you crying” Ville asked “yes” Neke said “why what's wrong” he asked. “I don't know everyone is just getting on my nerves” she said “that's not good maybe try not to take the little things they do so personally” Ville sighed. “I'm not taking them personally they just really annoy me” she said “a little too much I think” Ville said “what” Neke said. Ville sighed “I'm not having a go at you or anything I just think that lately it seems like you might be over reacting to some of these situations.” Neke scoffed “seriously” she said as she felt the anger coming back “yes seriously you were just telling me a few weeks ago how everything was going great and from what you've told me nothing has changed that much it's just seems like you aren't coping with it as well now.”

Neke couldn't believe what she was hearing “oh I see so I'm overreacting and no one has actually done anything wrong” she spat. Ville sighed “once again not what I'm saying” he said “how's this for overreacting” she spat right before she hung up. She heard the sound of water hitting the floor, she walked through the house wondering what it was it seemed to be coming from the laundry. She opened the laundry door and the sink was over flowing “fuck sake” she yelled, she stuck her hand in the sink and removed the tea towel that was plugging the drain. The floor was soaked all the dirty washing was soaked, Neke started to clean it all up, after a while she had washed all the dirty washing and hung it out and had moped the floor in the laundry.

She heard a knock at the door, she answered it “hey” Elle said “you ok” she asked “yeah had a shit afternoon” Neke said. Elle nodded “yeah you've been having a lot of those lately” she said, Neke glared at her “don't you start on me too” she said. “Sorry I didn't mean to” she said “anyway want to have a movie night just me and you” Elle asked. “Have you had dinner yet” Neke asked “no not yet” Elle said “lets go to the shops and get some dinner food and movie sacks” Neke said. Elle nodded, Neke sipped on her shoes, she grabbed her wallet and keys and they walked over to the shops. They walked through the meat isle “what about a steak” Elle said, Neke felt sick just looking at the raw steak “nah not steak” she said.

“Well what do you want” Elle asked “fish” Neke said “seriously” Elle said, Neke smiled “what it's good” she said. “Yeah but it's all you've been eating for weeks” Elle said “fine what about chicken” Neke asked “yeah chicken sounds good.” They walked over to where the chicken was kept, Neke picked up some chicken breast “what about chicken schnitzel” she asked “yes” Elle said. They walked around the shop grabbing stuff for dinner and some snacks for the movie night, they paid for it all and walked home. Neke started making dinner while Elle thought about what movie they should watch, not long later they sat at the table eating dinner. “This is good” Elle said “thanks” Neke said, they finished eating dinner, they chatted while they done the dishes.

“You want a cold milo” Neke asked “since when did you have cold milo” Elle asked “since my kettle was being weird” she said. “What do you mean” Elle asked “well I kept thinking it was the milk being off, the other day though I sipped milk while I was cooking and it was fine then as soon as I had a tea it tasted foul so maybe the kettle is putting a gross taste in the water or something.” Elle nodded “maybe” she said, Neke ignored the hint of sarcasm in her voice and made them cold milo’s. They sat down and watched the movie together, Neke didn't eat much of the snacks as she had started to feel sick, she put it down to all the sugar. They chatted for a while before Elle left for home “see you at work tomorrow” she said “bye” Neke said as she waved Elle off.

Neke woke up, she once again felt horrible, I must be getting sick she thought, she pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. She opened up her body wash as soon as the smell hit her she felt sick, she vomited, she threw the body was out of the shower and into the sink. She cleaned herself and got out, she felt a little better, she had a cold milo and got ready for work. She walked over to work, she walked into the store “morning” Elle said “hey” Neke said, she went and put her bag in the office, she checked the email and seen there was one from Henry. She opened the email and read it “the owner is happy with our design” she yelled to Elle “awesome” Elle said.

A few hours had passed “you want a tea or hot chocolate from the cafe” Elle asked “which cafe” Neke said “amphora” Elle said. “Get me a chocolate then” Neke said “I'll be back soon” Elle said, Neke nodded, she tidied up the counter. A women walked in “hi let me know if you need help” Neke said smiling, the women nodded and started looking around. She picked a few dressed out “can I try these on” she asked “you sure can” Neke said smiling, the women went into the change room. Not long after she came out she put one dress back and walked up to the counter, the smell of her perfume hit Neke, Neke started to feel sick from how over powering it was, she rang the items up and placed them in a bag while the women paid on card. Neke placed the receipt into the bag and handed it to her “have a nice day” Neke said “you too” the lady said as she left the store.

Neke waved hers arms in front of her to get rid of the overpowering smell of perfume, not long later Elle walked back in. She handed Neke her hot chocolate “thanks” Neke said, she took a sip and the taste hit her “oh god” she said. She felt her stomach churn and her mouth water, she put her drink down “you ok” Elle asked “I'm going to be sick” Neke said. She quickly raced to the toilet to throw up, she vomited repeatedly until there was nothing left to come up. She cleaned herself up and walked into the office “you ok” Elle asked “I think so” Neke said “there is nothing wrong with that drink” Elle said. Neke raised her eyebrow “I tasted it” Elle said “if you weren't on the pill I would swear you were pregnant” Elle joked.

Neke froze “what” she said as another wave of nausea came over her “it's a joke” Elle said, Neke felt sick “Elle I'm not on the pill” she said “what” Elle said shocked. “When Ville goes on tour or I come home I go off the pill to give my body a break” she said “oh god” Elle said. “You went and seen Ville weeks ago when was your last period” Elle asked, Neke thought about it “I don't know” she said. “I remember having one a couple weeks before I left but I'm not sure since I got home I've been busy” she said. Neke looked at Elle “I can't be” she said “well they way you've been acting and stuff lately not to mention no pill and no period you could be.” Neke was horrified she completely forgot that she wasn't on the pill when she went and seen Ville in London.

“Does Ville know you go off your pill” Elle asked “yeah he does he was the one who suggested it because he read somewhere how prolonged use of the pill is bad.” Neke sighed “well what are you waiting for go get a test” Elle said “I cant” Neke said, “you can’t ignore this if there is an actual chance your pregnant” Elle said. Neke really didn’t want to know “I’ll do one tonight” she lied, Elle went to say something but a customer walked in. Neke spent the rest of the day off in her own world, she could barely work as she was stressed about the situation. “Just go home” Elle said “it’s late night though” Neke replied “I’ll ask holly to come help” Elle said, Neke nodded she went and got her bag. “I’m sorry” she said “go get a test” Elle said, Neke felt sick “call if you need me” Neke said, Elle nodded.

————————

Neke woke up, she looked at the time and sighed it was three in the morning, she felt horrible, she hadn’t been able to sleep the last two nights because of the realisation that she could be pregnant. She still hadn’t got a test, she couldn’t bring herself to do it, she wanted to avoid this all together, it filled her with so much anxiety. She rolled over and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning before finally getting up, Neke sighed as her phone started ringing. It was Elle calling “hey” Neke said “you sound horrible” Elle said “yeah I feel horrible” Neke said “I’m just gonna assume you haven’t taken a test” Elle said, Neke signed. “You can’t avoid this forever” Elle said “I know” Neke heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll call you later someone’s here” Neke said and she hung up, she pulled herself out of bed and walked to the door. Neke opened the door “Morning” said Elle, Neke smiles weakly “morning” Neke let Elle inside. “I went to the shop for you and got you some things” Elle said, she started unloading the bag “I know your not drinking any hot drinks so I got you some juice” Elle said. Neke smiled “thanks” Neke sat down at the dining table as Elle filled her up a glass with juice and brought it over. She put the juice down and a box, Neke looked at the box and sighed “you got to do it” Elle said, Neke sat in silence.

She knew Elle was right but she had no desire to face reality, she knew she couldn’t put this off forever. Elle walked over with her drink “you can’t avoid this forever you know” Elle said, Neke sighed “I know” she looked at the box. “Just go do it, I’m here and we will work it out together” Elle said, Neke smiled weakly she knew Elle was right but she was scared of what it would say. After a while and a motivational talk from Elle, Neke stood up and grabbed the box, she pulled a test out and went to the toilet. She did the test and walked back out, she put it upside down on the table and washed her hands. A few minutes passed “well flip it over” Elle said, Neke shook her head she was too nervous “fine” Elle said. She grabbed the test off the table and looked, Neke couldn’t tell the result by Elles face “what does it say” she asked “it’s….”

#ville valo #fanfic #ville valo fanfic #domineke adler #fan fiction #bam margera #nicki margera #fanfiction #ville hermanni valo #ville valo fan fiction #ville hermanni valo fanfic #him fanfic #brandon novak #ville hermanni valo fan fic #ville valo fan fic #fan fic #fanfictionn #valofanfic #viller hermanni valo #nicole margera

[willowwzz]

1𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌...

Hello! First time poster...long time stalker hehe..I have a few Ville Valo fan fics that Ive had stored in my computer for many years and after finding this site and binging on fanfiction I thought hey...why not! My country is currently on lockdown so why not post a few things for the bored lovelies to find just like I have for the last week...hopefully you all like! Check back soon for the first Chaper coming up!

#ville valo #ville valo fan fiction #HIM #H.I.M #Ville #Valo #fanfiction #fan fiction #his infernal majesty

[snowst99]

a poster of my new series of stories about KISS, Helloween and H.I.M, which was inspired by a strange dream 😂really a mixture 😂I name it IF I KNEW

#fan creation #paul stanley #ace frehley #fanfic #fanart #ville valo fanfic #kiss fan fiction #fancreation #fan fiction #andi deris #michael weikath #ingo schwichtenberg #villevalo #ville valo #helloween band

[love-can-be-as-cold-as-grave]

Update

Hello faithful readers. Over the past five years I've had many folks ask me to finish this story, knowing very well it was left unfinished.

I'd like you all to know a possible three chapters are on their way.

With full disclosure I'd like to say that the ending I had originally imagined and partially written those years ago did not age well as I myself have loved and learned, learning a thing or two along the way. Hopefully you all have too and in doing so enjoy this upcoming conclusion to Heartaches Knocking on Her Door.

-Your loving writer

#HIM #h.i.m. #VILLE VALO #ville valo fan fic #fan fiction #heartagram

[valos-venus-doom]

Drawn & Quartered [Chapter 4]

February 10th 2007

Ville sat looking at the alluring brunette in front of him, her eyes sparkled in the light of the candles between them. He was on his first "first date" in eons.

Her name was Caitlyn. A stunning 25 year old Starbucks barista Ville had met when a new location popped up in his neighborhood. He began going first thing in the morning, every morning (because sobriety meant he was up before the birds most days) because the gorgeous girl behind the counter charmed him and made him laugh. And genuinely laugh. Not the polite laughter you do when a stranger makes a bad joke. He learned her schedule and was there every single day she worked until he worked up the courage to ask her out.

To Ville's surprise, he wasn't nervous. Not at all, in fact, it felt like being out to dinner with a longtime friend. He was completely at ease and comfortable around her, which was a big deal for him.

She had big hazel eyes, full lips, and a body he couldn't stop thinking about getting on top of. But more than that, she was extremely smart and captivated him. Caitlyn was going to school for business management and he loved listening to her talk about it. She was unlike any woman he had ever dated and he told anyone who'd listen that she was the one.

And when she laughed? It made Ville's stomach flutter. She had the best laugh he'd ever heard.

"And long story short, this is why taking Philosophy is terrible and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone." Caitlyn concluded her tirade on why Philosophy 101 was the worst class she had ever taken. She had saved it for last and it wad the last credit she needed to graduate.

"When do you graduate again?" Ville asked, sipping his water.

"May." Caitlyn said with a smile before sipping her white wine.

"Nearly there." Ville smiled.

"Yes and oh my God I am so ready to be done. As soon as that Master's degree is in my hands, I'm quitting Starbucks with two middle fingers up in the air."

Ville laughed, "But then where am I going to get coffee from every morning?"

"I said I was quitting, not burning down the joint." She teased.

"But your coffee is better than anyone elses."

"You get your coffee black. Anyone can do that." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"Mm, not sure that's true. You must do something special to it." Ville smirked.

"How about making it at home?" Caitlyn stuck her tongue out at him.

"You gonna come over every morning and make it for me?" Ville stared her down suggestively.

"Maybe..." Caitlyn eyed him seductively over the rim of her wine glass.

An hour later, Ville had Caitlyn on her back on his couch. They couldn't hold back long enough to make it upstairs to his bed.

"Oh god, Cait, fuck yes." Ville groaned before attacking her lips again, moaning into the kiss passionately.

Caitlyn pushed him off her til he was seated on the couch, she straddled his hips and held his shoulders as she rode him, nails slightly digging into his flesh. Her dress was pulled down to reveal her tits that Ville attacked lustfully, bringing Caitlyn to orgasm.

"God yes, I love your dick." Caitlyn groaned through gritted teeth, her body a vice around his cock as she came.

Ville realized she was dirty talker and he fucking loved it. He exploded immediately with an orgasm so intense he couldn't even breathe, let alone make noise. His mouth agape, eyes squeezed shut, hips spasming. Thank God Caitlyn already came because he literally couldn't stop himself.

When he reopened his eyes as the orgasm subsided, Caitlyn was gazing at him with a small smirk. Ville was convinced she was a goddess. She had to have been, she was not of this realm. It was in that moment he was sure of two things:

1. He was madly in love.

2. Caitlyn was The One.

Christmas Day, 2011. 10am.

Ville awoke with a start. He stared into the cold grey morning light creeping into his bedroom. It was a dream. About her. Again.

Ville held Caitlyn's pillow tightly in his arms, inhaling its scent; Redken shampoo, Victoria Secret perfume, and her natural smell. Eau de Caitlyn.

Too numb to cry, the last 2 days since getting home had been a nightmare of his own creation.

He flip-flopped between grief and rage. Both at himself and at Cait.

He had written out so many texts, but never sent them. He didn't know how to say "Fuck you, come home." eloquently.

Suddenly a text came through and his heart jumped. He grabbed his phone so quickly he lost grip and it flew across the floor and he rolled out of bed after it, looking at the text on his knees on the floor, blanket wrapped around his waist.

He knew in his heart it was Caitlyn.

But it wasn't. It was his mother wishing him a Merry Christmas and asking when he and Caitlyn would be over to spend the day with them as per tradition.

Ville felt like he was going to be sick. It was Christmas. He'd forgotten completely. But he was so far from the spirit he may as well have been Ebenezer Scrooge.

"Hey, sorry, I've been up sick all night. I must have caught something from the tour. I'll come by another day. Love you." He texted back to his mother, lying.

"Well if you haven't infected her, send Cait. We love and miss you both. Xx" his mother replied.

That text made it so much worse. He knew his family adored Caitlyn, and she them. They all got along so well. It warmed Ville's heart when he'd see Caitlyn in the kitchen helping his mother. Or playing retro games on their 20 year old Super Nintendo with his brother. Or talking business and current events with his dad over coffee.

She was a perfect fit for the Valo family. She was perfect in general. And she was gone.

Ville didn't answer his mother's text. Instead he climbed back into bed. He gripped Cait's pillow tight, inhaling deeply, before rolling over and going back to sleep. Before he drifted off, he relented, he was going to call Caitlyn. White flag flying, he surrendered. He couldn't take another day with her. But first, sleep.

Ville awoke hours later to his phone ringing and it was dark. 'I slept all day?' He immediately thought to himself before looking at the screen to see who was calling, hoping desperately it was Caitlyn, hoping she was feeling the same sense of longing and wanting to surrender, too.

But it wasn't Caitlyn. It was his brother, Jesse.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dude. I've been knocking. It's fucking cold and snowing its ass off out here. Open the door."

"One sec." And Ville hung up. He pulled on pants before scurrying down to his front door. Jesse never just showed up, so this was odd, Ville thought to himself.

Ville opened the door to see his brother standing on the other side in the snow that began falling at some point. "Hey. What's up?"

Jesse walked into the house taking off his snow covered boots. "Well, I heard from Mom that you were sick. So I was coming to check on my big brother. It is Christmas after all."

"How very sweet of you." Ville replied blankly. He loved his brother, but right now he was in no mood for visitors. It was interrupting his miserable self-loathing.

Jesse stared at Ville straightfaced, "You don't look sick to me. So, wanna tell me what's really going on?"

"Nothing." Ville stared back at his brother who was clearly calling him out in his lie... but there was something else Jesse clearly knew, he could see it in his eyes. And Jesse didnt ask where Caitlyn was, as he usually would have.

"What do you know?" Ville asked quietly, not breaking eye contact. He was dreading having to finally tell someone that he and Caitlyn broke up.

"Well one of two things happened," Jesse began. "Either you and Cait broke up, or she's in the mountains cheating on you right now." Jesse's tone was serious.

"But," Jesse continued, "I doubt she'd be this open about cheating on you publicly on social media. I'm no Sherlock Holmes but it seems like you broke up with her and haven't told anyone. Which would explain why you lied to mom and didn't show up for Christmas."

"Cheating on me?" Ville asked blankly staring at his brother. His face suddenly hot, his ears felt like they were on fire, and his stomach sick. It felt as though there was barbed wire in his windpipe.

"Why the fuck else would this be on her Instagram?" Jesse pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of Caitlyn and Matthias kissing on a ski lift.

Jesse knew Ville had no form of social media, so when he was scrolling through Instagram at his parents' house and came across that picture, he was stunned. And he knew Ville was probably none the wiser.

Jesse scrolled through both Caitlyn and Matthias' accounts finding a lot of pictures together with a group of friends, both tagging each other in all the pictures, with heart emojis galore. Some were innocuous enough, sure. But the kissing picture was a glaring red flag. And so was the picture of Caitlyn in a jacuzzi, breasts barely hidden under the bubbling water, and cuddling Matthias.

Ville stared at the photo, his hands began to shake as rage rose within him like boiling flood water. After a moment of staring he averted his eyes and began to chuckle darkly. "That fucking cunt...." he turned away from Jesse. His arms raised and he interlocked his fingers together behind his head and began pacing. Breathing hard.

"So she is cheating?" Jesse asked, extremely confused. Unable to gauge his brother's crazed reaction.

"Nope! She can do whatever it is Her Highness wants! That fucking bitch..." Ville broke into a fit of crazed laughter. "Oh wow."

"Are you high?" Jesse asked blankly. "Or do you need to be?"

"She moved out." Ville sighed, a delirious smile on his face, a millisecond later, Ville threw his fist through the drywall beside him. "Fuck!" He screamed at nothing in particular.

"She broke up with you?" Jesse asked unphased, he'd seen Ville put his fist threw many a wall. It was a Ville Valo signature move.

"Nope. I broke up with her." Ville shook his head, laughing, pacing

"When?"

"Two weeks ago. Didn't take the cunt long to move on, did it?" He sighed as he moved to sit on his couch. "Fucking slut. Of course she's in the the next one."

"What happened?"

"She and her little dumb cunt friends, as you see pictured on the Facebook-a-gram," he gestured dismissively at the phone still in Jesse's hand, "All went on a ski trip two weeks ago and KNOWING full well I was about to leave on tour. But she didnt care. No, no. Instead she ignored my texts, and refused to come home. And then she DID come home, acting like a cunt, calling me an asshole and bitching that I never let her do anything, so I told her I was done." Ville explained viciously.

"Ville..." Jesse knew that probably wasn't the case. He knew Caitlyn pretty well, that didn't sound like her. And knowing his brother, knew some details were being left out.

"Okay. Maybe I was being a passive aggressive asshole, but she made me feel so fucking unimportant. All I wanted was to spend time with her! Was that too much to fucking ask?!" Ville ranted, kicking over the coffee table in front of him.

"Ville.... you broke up with Caitlyn 2 weeks ago?" Jesse asked, connecting the dots.

"Yeah." Ville replied, sitting back against the couch, his heart beating in his ears.

"On the 11th?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah." Ville responded, more irritated this time. "What the fuck are you getting at? What does that fucking matter?"

Jesse stared at his brother. "Did you realize the 11th was on the 6 month anniversary of her father's death?"

Ville froze.

"You know, the 6 month anniversary ofthe death of her last living parent, and right before her first Christmas without him?"

Ville's stomach turned as Jesse spelled it out like he was a Kindergartener.

Jesse continued, moving closer, speaking downward at his brother who was seated on the couch, "And you made her feel like shit for going on a trip, doing the one activity that she and her father held dear? And then broke up with her? What in the entire *fuck* is wrong with you, man? I'm surprised she didn't break up with you herself."

Ville's expression changed from stunned realization to a scowl. He stood up fast, furious at himself but ready to direct it towards his brother, he got nearly in his face "Jesse, fuck off. You weren't even there! You're really gonna side with her? She's fucking my friend, first of all!"

Ville didn't appreciate the feeling of being being judged, especially when it was dawning on him that he was in the wrong. "And sec-second of all," Ville, ready to defend himself, paused and swallowed hard. But it felt like swallowing a razorblade, "Second of all...." he struggled to continue. "W-when you put it like that..." Ville's voice broke, his lip trembled and he dissolved into tears, face in his hands.

Jesse's expression softened as saw his brother break. He wrapped his arms around his big brother and sat them both down on the couch to better hold and console him.

"I was going to propose." Ville sobbed into his brother's shoulder, snot and tears getting on his jacket but Jesse couldn't have cared less. "Midnight. New Years. On stage. I had it all planned with manager at Tavastia--" he choked. "What am I gonna do?" Ville wept, his voice cracking.

Jesse held his older brother, "Ville. Ville, come on. It's going to be okay. Have you even talked to her since all this happened?"

Ville lifted his head and wiped his face on a t-shirt he'd thrown on the couch days ago. "N-no." Ville answered. "I was so fucking angry... I refused to call her. I wanted her to call me. I didn't think I did anything wrong." Ville sniffed. "At the time." He clarified.

"Okay, well that's step number one. Talk. To. Her." he urged him. "Maybe she feels the same--"

Ville shook his head, interrupting him "No. She is clearly with Matthias right now." He looked tearfully at his brother. "She clearly moved on."

"That isn't necessarily true..." Jesse tried to

"She fucking wasted NO time getting on another man's dick, did she?" Ville's emotional pendulum began to swing back to rage from sorrow. "And with Matthias? My fucking friend? That fucking bastard. What a friend, huh?" Ville stood up, pacing again.

"Before you put another hole in the drywall, remember you were the one who broke up with her." Jesse tried to calmly remind him.

Ignoring Jesse, Ville grabbed his shoes. "I fucking gave that bitch everything. I moved heaven and earth for her, and this is what she does? Do I not mean anything? Did WE not mean anything? And with my friend? How fucking dare she." Ville seethed and raged. "I'm getting a drink. Come with me, or don't, I don't give a fuck."

"Oh I'm coming with you, I'm not letting you out into the world unsupervised in this state." Jesse replied, grabbing his boots too.

#ville valo #vv #ville valo fan fic #ville valo fan fiction #neon noir #him #h.i.m #heartagram #his infernal majesty #love metal #jesse valo

[todderud]

#him #ville valo #Bam Margera #fanfic #fic #fan fic #fan fiction #viva la bam #jackass

[cupcakecurl]

One of these tagging things

It’s the first time anyone tagged me in these kind of things, so thank you @notafraidofredyellowandblue :) So here you go: 1. Do you ever make your bed? Every day. 

2. What’s your favorite number? Number 7.

3. What’s your job? (I’m sorry, I don’t like giving out personal information)

4. If you could go back to school, would you? Not to change anything, but I would love to see certain memories with my life experience from now.

5. Can you parallel park? Always avoided it since I’ve learned it so I probably cannot do it anymore.

6.  A job you had that would surprise People? (-)

7. Do you believe aliens are real? Not in terms of green martians who try to exterminate mankind, but some form organic life somewhere in “a galaxy far far away”.

8. Can you drive a manual car? Yes. In Germany you learn driving with a manual car and I’m pretty sure that at least 75% of all cars in Germany are still manuals.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? Affectionate  behaviour between men (doesn’t matter if they are fictional characters or real people). I don’t necessarily mean any kind of romantic stuff, but the pure fact of two men being affectionate with each other. I always love seeing affection between people, no matter what gender, but since men in society are still often entitled as ‘the stornger sex’ I do especially love seeing when they are soft with each other. In fictional work it is the fact that there is a lack of (for me) interesting female characters who contribute to a resonable plot development without being at least once romatically involved with an other character. What I do enjoy the most in fictional work is charactergrowth and/or characterdepth provided by conflicts usually between polarizing characters (let it be Tony/Ironman and Steve/Captain America, Vegeta and Goku, Thor and Loki, Sherlock and Moriarty etc.) and till now I haven’t found a female character which meets this expectation.  (To Completion: It would be a lie to say that I don’t enjoy fanfiction with men being a little bit more than just affectionate with each other)

 10. Tattoos? No.

11. Favorite color? Grey. Earthy colours. 

12. Things people do that piss you off? Lack of trying to understand different opinions.

13. Any phobias? It’s not a phobia, but I don’t enjoy big crowdy places.

14. Favorite childhood sport? Volleyball.

15. Do you ever talk to yourself? All the time. Saying it out loud often helps me to understand what I meant in the first place. Thoughts are often fluent, but if I am ‘forced’ to find words, which describe what I mean, they get more concrete. 

16. What movie do you adore? I’ve rewatched ‘Brokeback Mountain’ a few weeks ago. Again. And it still has the power to overwhelm me after so many times I’ve already watched it. So this one is probably a good pick. But I really do enjoy movies out of the MCU as well, ‘Lord of the Rings’, they overwhelm in a different ways. But for now I’d probably pick ‘Brokeback Mountain’, because it was the last one, which did this recently.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? Depends on my mood. Sometimes it makes me agressive, sometimes it calms me.

18. What’s your favorite kind of music? I prefer Rock, but I really do enjoy Soundtracks and Ambient as well and even some Pop and some Hip Hop. Acutally the only kind of music, which really drives me mad, is ‘Ballermann Schlager’. (At the moment I do enjoy ‘Rammstein’ again a lot, but I do also love ‘Die Ärzte’, ‘Schiller’, ‘Oomph!’, the  Assassin’s Creed Soundtracks (like, yes, all of them), ‘The Ramus’ and of course: ‘HIM’; although the last band might not exist anymore but this band made one of the biggest impact in my music taste and Ville Valo’s voice will always be my favourite (although I’m not a fan that the most of their songs are about love, but Ville’s voice and Linde’s guitar… god damn it))

19. Tea or coffee? I like both, but if you force me to decide, because otherwise the world would end, I’d choose tea; mostly chamomile and other herbal teas.

20. First thing you remember wanting to be when you grow up? If i remember correctly, I wanted to be a police officer. I tag @mcrmadness (just if you want of course) and anyone who would love to answer these questions.

#tagged

[dream-of-wanting-me]

There are metal fans out there who want to cleanse the genre.

But if you can’t cleanse Romeo and Juliet of the suicide, I don’t know how you can cleanse metal of its many dark themes.

By ‘cleanse’ I mean present it as benevolent. It’s not. To varying degrees, metal fans can be benevolent people, but we can’t pretend to be listening to benevolent music. It’s music inspired by violent mythology, horror movies, drugs, occult books, depression. It’s the loudest, most aggressive, most intense music genre. And those are three epithets you can use for the way Gojira sounds, even though they sing about global warming and flying whales.

That’s why American Satan is a good movie for such people. It includes quotes by the likes of Carlos Santana, Angus Young and Bowie about the spiritual influences of our genre. In the fictional part, it explores the intensity, the risks and the aggression our music can provoke.

I will not say that a Five Finger Death Punch show is a great place to be. I don’t want to be in a mosh pit. Yet I love the music. And I’ve learned to accept this dichotomy.

I will not say that HIM’s Join Me is ‘not to be taken literally’. The lyricist himself has stated that it’s about ‘how far you are willing to go for love, a Romeo and Juliet type thing’. Does Ville Valo want us all to kill ourselves? He obviously doesn’t. But he romanticised suicide. That’s problematic. Your fave is problematic. Deal with it somehow.

Outsiders think we’re all satanists. Or at least that’s what we think they think. So we dive into an attempt to convince them that we’re not satanists. While wearing pentagrams and Baphomets on our clothes. And while listening to bands founded by people who really are satanists or pagans. We will fail at this convincing.

#l #Five Finger Death Punch #his infernal majesty #american satan #gojira #behemoth

[its-poetry-carved-in-flesh]

Chapter 32

Neke sat on the couch with the thoughts racing through her head, take pills, don't take pills, take pills, don't take pills, she was anxious, she felt sick and like she was going to cry, Ville was out getting things ready for the tour and she didn't want to bother him. If only she didn't go for a walk to get some milk, then she wouldn't of bumped into that man, that man who looked exactly like Doug Peterson. The anxiety was bad, she was trying to calm herself down, just breath she kept telling herself it was going to be ok, he only looked like him, he was locked up in prison away from her. Ville walked in the door, he couldn't see her anywhere, he walked through to the bedroom and seen her hugging her knees on the bed with a look of panic on her face. He frowned and walked over to her “kulta” he said, Neke looked up “what's going on” he asked his words tainted with worry. Neke bit her lip “he looked just like him” she said after a few moments, Ville looked at her with confusion “the man at the supermarket looked like HIM” she said almost spitting the last word out. Ville sat next to her and pulled her into a hug “he can't get anywhere near you darling” he said reassuringly. Neke felt herself calm down as she took in Ville’s scent and listened to the way his heart beat on his chest. She pulled away “why didn't you call me” Ville asked “I didn't want to bother you” she said, Ville frowned “this wouldn't be bothering me at all please call me next time” Neke nodded. It had been a few months since Neke had got out of rehab and she had been doing well, she had come clean with Xavier, Hadley and Elle about her going into rehab. They didn't react like she thought they would, they were a little disappointed that she didn't tell them but said they knew something was up and that she should never feel like she couldn't tell them anything. Neke and Ville had a lot of late night discussions about what Neke could do if she felt the urges to have pills come up as Neke was due to go back home soon because Ville was about to start a world wide tour. They had a few more weeks together before she flew home but Ville was very confident that she would be fine at home. ————————- Ville was excited to tour but dreaded being away from Neke, he felt like he had only just got her back and tomorrow she was off. “You ready to go” Neke yelled, Ville put his scarf around his neck and walked out to the lounge room “yeah.” They left the house and got into the taxi, Ville gave the women the address and they were off, not to long later they pulled up. Neke got out of the car while Ville paid the driver, they walked up to the door and Ville rang the bell before opening the door and walking in. “Is that you love” his mother yelled “yes” he yelled back, Kari came out of the lounge and hugged them both. “Good to see you both again” he said with a grin, Kari ushered them into the dinning room, Neke walked into the kitchen. “Do you need any help” she asked Anita, Anita turned around “no no dear I'm ready to serve” she said “I'll help you serve” Neke insisted. Anita nodded as Neke picked up some roasted vegetables and took them to the table “this smells wonderful” Kari complimented. They all sat down and chatted over dinner “it's very sad to see you going home” Kari said, Neke smiled “hopefully it won't be for long” Neke said smiling. “We will miss you” Anita added, Neke smiled “I will miss you both as well” she said, Ville smiled “you know Domineke you can call us anytime if you need to” Kari said, she nodded “I know.” Ville had told his parents about her being in rehab and they had been making sure she was always ok, Neke felt sad but angry that her mother wasn't like Anita. “I really appreciate everything you have done for me while I've been here” Neke said feeling teary from thinking about how open and lovely they were to her even when the knew everything, Ville grabbed Neke’s hand and rubbed it with his thumb. “Darling you are family and you are a beautiful person not to mention you take care of our son so well he hasn't look this good in years” Kari said. Neke smiled “thank you” she said, they enjoyed the night with some coffee and cake after dinner. Neke and Ville bid them farewell and let for home, they arrived home shortly after and made their way to bed. ———————— Neke frowned, she really didn't want to go home “call me anytime of the day or night I mean it” Ville said hugging her goodbye. Neke nodded “I will” she said, she pulled him in hugging him tighter “I'm going to miss you so much” she said. Ville knew exactly how she felt, his heart felt heavy knowing she was leaving, he sighed “you will miss your plane” he said as he heard another call for Neke's flight. Neke pulled away, she looked up at him, he caressed her face with his hands then lowered his head. Neke pulled him in closer to lock their lips for the last time before she left, she kissed him deeply “I love you” she said. Ville kissed her again “I love you too” they kissed once more before Neke turned around and walked to the plane. The plane ride was long but Neke managed to sleep most of it, she got off the plane and walked down to the baggage claim. She felt arms wrap around her, she went stiff and started to panic “shit sorry” Elle said “are you ok I'm such an idiot.” Neke turned around to face Elle “are you ok I didn't mean to scare you” she said, Neke took a deep breath “yeah I uh I'm ok” she said as she calmed down. “I'm so sorry” Elle said “it's ok” Neke said, she seen her bags so she grabbed them and they walked to the car. They spent the entire way home catching up on everything they each had done in the months gone. “You don't have to come to work tomorrow if you don't want to” Elle said as she pulled up to Neke's house. “I'll let you know in the morning I'm gonna shower and go to bed“ Neke said as she got out of the car. Elle nodded, Neke shut the door and walked inside, as soon as she turned and locked the door Edgar came running up to her. She picked her cat up and started to cry “I missed you so much” she said, Edgar meowed back at her, she hugged him and walked to her room, she sat on her bed patting Edgar for a while before getting in the shower. She got out of the shower and dressed her self, she made a cup of tea and patted Edgar before going into her room and laying down. Edgar came in and jumped up on the bed, he walked up and laid down in a little ball at Neke's stomach, Neke smiled as he started to purr and she feel asleep. ——————— “Neke” someone whispered “Neke” she heard again, she opened her eyes to see Xavier standing at her door. She slowly sat up “sorry to wake you but do you want the car today” he asked “if you do your gonna have to drive me to work” he said. Neke yawned “yeah I'll drive you when do we have to go” she asked, he looked at his watch “ten minutes” he said. Neke nodded she got up “I'll get dressed then we can go” she said, he nodded and walked out closing the door behind him. Neke got up and opened her suitcase, she grabbed a pair of jeans and the first top she seen. She grabbed her jacket and walked out “ready” she said, Xavier walked up and hugged her tightly “I missed you” he said. Neke hugged him back “I missed you too” she said, she felt herself getting teary so she pulled away “lets go before I cry” she said. Xavier chuckled, they walked out and got into the car, Neke drove to the local drive through coffee place and ordered two mocha’s. She dropped Xavier off at work and decided while she was up that way anyway she would drop in and see her grandparents. She pulled up and got out of the car, she walked up to the door and rang the bell, she heard her granddads arm chair make the squeaking noise as he got up. He answered the door, he grinned when he seen her “love it's so good to see you” he said “darling come quick” he yelled, Neke could hear her nan coming in from out the back. Her nan hugged her “oh darling it's good to see you” she said smiling “your just in time for breakfast” she said. Neke smiled “that's half the reason I came here” she said jokingly, her granddad chuckled, they all walked into the kitchen. Neke filled them in on the good parts of her holiday, she didn't feel the need to worry them with the bad bits. “Well try keep yourself busy so you don't miss Ville too much” her nan said, Neke nodded “I'm sure there's a lot of paperwork for me to catch up on at the shop” she said. “I don't think your brother ate very much food since you've been gone” her nan said, Neke chuckled “I noticed that he looked a bit skinny” she said “I tried to get him up here but he said he was ok but I don't think so” her nan said, Neke laughed “I'll feed him up again” she said. She waves bye to her grandparents as she drove off down the road, she drove home and got herself ready for the day. After she had finished her makeup she sat down and drank a cup of tea, she didn't know what to do for the day, she didn't want to go to work as she had all the time this week to do the paperwork. She decided she would unpack all her things then figure out what she was going to do, she opened the first suit case and began putting all her clothes back in her wardrobe. After a couple hours she was done, she went to look for something to eat but there wasn't much food in the house. She grabbed her car keys and wallet then walked out the house, she got in the car and drove to the shopping centre. She parked and got out, she walked inside to the supermarket and grabbed a trolley, she walked around filling the trolley up with food and cleaning products. Neke stood in front of the cat food looking for the one Edgar likes, she stepped back and hit someone “sorry” she said as she turned around. “Hey Austin” she said “hey when did you get back” he asked “yesterday” she said, they stood talking for a while “I got to go but come up to the shop soon and let's talk another tattoo hey” he said. Neke nodded “definitely it's been too long” she said “alright let me know a few days before you want to come up” he said, Neke nodded and he walked off. Neke finished her shopping and drove home, she unloaded the car and unpacked the shopping to the cupboards and fridge. Neke looked around and noticed how dusty everything was, she grabbed the cleaning stuff and began to clean the house thoroughly. She heard the front door open “Neke” she heard Elle yell “in here” she yelled from the bathroom, Elle walked in “what are you doing” she asked, Neke looked up at her “scrubbing the tiles” she said. Neke stood up “what's up” she asked “I've been calling you for ages” Elle said “sorry my phones somewhere here” she said. Elle sighed “what's wrong” Neke asked “the computer at the shop has froze and I've tried everything to fix it but I can't so I've got Hadley hand writing receipts at the moment” she said. “Shit I'm so sorry” Neke said, she washed her hands “let me change out of these clothes quickly and I'll come help” she said, Elle nodded “hurry” she said. Neke quickly got undressed and pulled a dress on, she slipped some flats on and walked out the room, she quickly grabbed her phone, keys and wallet at walked out the front. She hoped in the car with Elle, they drove around to the shop and Neke got out, she walked in the back door and out to the register. She spent the next hour fixing the issue “thank god” she said when it printed the receipts “thank you” Elle said. She spent the next hour or so chatting with Elle and Hadley “I'll be in tomorrow but I have to go pick Xavier up from work now” she said. She said goodbye and walked back home, she jumped in the car and drove up to Xavier's work getting there just in time to pick him up. ———————— “Good morning kulta” Ville said, Neke smiled “good afternoon” she said, Ville chuckled “it's so good to heard your voice” he said. “How was your first show” she asked “great” he said “I was a little nervous but it feels good to be on tour again like all the hard work for the album has paid off” he said. Neke smiled “that's good” she said “what are you doing” he asked “paperwork” Neke said “Elle's not one for organising paperwork or doing it” she said, Ville chuckled “least it keeps you busy” he said. Neke smiled “miss me yet” she asked “of course I miss you especially now I'm sleeping alone” he said. “You miss me” he asked, Neke sighed “I mean I guess” she teased, Ville chuckled “you guess” he said pretending to be upset “yeah I guess I mean I know your a big sex god and what not but you snore awfully loud and you hog the bed.” Ville laughed “give it a week and you'll miss the sex god” he said, Neke smirked “nothing a trip to the sex shop can't fix” she said “Domineke” Ville said shocked. “I'm joking” she said, he laughed “go buy your rubber friends they won't live up to the real thing my dear.” Neke smirked “if you think so” she joked, Ville smirked “your breaking my heart here Neke” he said “oh I’m sorry what did you want to hear” she asked “you know what I want to hear” he said lowering his voice. Neke bit her lip “oh Ville I miss you but I really miss that big cock of yours” she said, Ville smirked “I miss how you would pin me down and have your way with me” she teased “I miss riding your” Ville interrupted “ok no more or I'll be standing at attention” he said. Neke smirked “that's good cause I suck a phone sex” she said, Ville chuckled “well you better get used to it cause I'll get lonely” he said. Neke laughed “maybe” she said “I'll leave you to your paperwork so I don't get myself into trouble” he said “more like so you don't end up with a awkward hard on” she joked “yeah pretty much” he chuckled. “Call me later” she said “oh I will” he said smirking “I love you” Neke said “I love you to and I'll talk later” Ville said. Neke hung up the phone and got back to her paperwork in a hope of finishing it today so the rest of her weekend was free. ———————— A few weeks had passed she Neke was off to talk about what to tattoo next, she parked the car and got out. She walked up the stairs and into the tattoo shop, Austin was talking to the girl behind the desk, he looked up “hey man lets go” he said. Neke followed him to his room at the back of the shop “so you have any ideas” he asked as he sat on his stool. “No I don't even know where to get tattooed” she said “hmm what's left” Austin said “my back, stomach and neck” she said. Austin nodded “well I would leave the neck until after your back so we know what space we have” he said. Neke nodded “you plan on having kids eventually” he asked, Neke sighed, she never thought about it “I don't know” she said “well I would advise not to get your stomach done until you've had kids or are sure you don't want to” he said, Neke nodded “yeah so the back it is” she said nervously. Austin smiled “yeah all that free space” he said, Neke smiled “but what to get” she said “lift your shirt up and show me what we done on your ribs” he said. Neke lifted her shirt revealing the tattoo of the girl with a chelsea grin and on the other side was medusa. “I drew this awesome back piece up and haven't done it on anyone I don't think I've tattooed anything similar on you let me find it” he said. Austin starts going through books of drawings and piles of drawing for a moment “here” he says as he pulls it up. “What about this” he says as he shows it to Neke, Neke takes a look at it, it's a women with war paint of her face and a tiger headdress on she's looking down to a skull she's holding. “I'll add some more stuff in so it blends with all your tattoos around it” he adds, Neke smiled “I love it” she says. “How about I make a stencil put it on you and draw some stuff to fill the gaps and then you can make a decision” he asks, Neke nods “sounds like a plan to me” she says. “Okie dokie cool give me a bit to get this traces onto stencil paper” he said, Neke nodded, she took her phone out of her bag and scrolled through Instagram for a while. “Alright done” he said, Neke stood up “uhh take your shirt off for me” he said, Neke pulled her shirt off and placed it down onto her handbag. Austin stood behind her “I'm going to unclip your bra so you have to hold it up” he said, Neke nodded “okie dokie” she said. She held her bra into her boobs as Austin unclipped it, she stood as still as she could as he put the stencil on her back. “Alright stay there while I grab a pen to draw with” he said, moments later he returned and started to draw on her back connecting the stencil with the old tattoos. “Do you want you ass tattooed cause your legs are tattooed all the way up to it and this will go right down to your ass” he asked, Neke thought about it “I don't know” she said, Austin nodded “we can leave it bare for now and if you want to get it done in the future I can easily add on to this tattoo” he said , Neke nodded. After a while Austin stood up “looks good give me a second I'll take a picture” he said, he pulled his phone out and took a picture. “Take a look” he said, Neke turned around and looked down at the phone “yeah that looks awesome” she said “want to start today” he asked. “What would you do today” she asked “I'll outline it all in a grey so that way I'm not going to have to try re stencil its all there and I can get to work on the face if you want.” Neke thought about it, she looked at the time it was 10am “yeah let's do it” she said “alright let me set up quick” he said. After a few minutes Neke was sitting in the chair with her chest pressed against the back of it, she was nervous like she always was. Austin started the outline, the chatted for a while, Neke cringed every time the needle went over her spine. After a few hours the outline was done “let's take a break” Austin said, they both had something to eat then got back into it, after another few hours the face was done. Neke got up and had a look, she smiled “looking good” she said, Austin said “next time we will do the head dress and continue on for there.” Neke nodded, Austin covered her tattoo up then she grabbed her shirt and turned away from Austin she pulled her shirt over her head then pulled her bra out from underneath. She wasn't keen on trying to do it up of wear a bra the next few days, Neke paid then got in the car, she drove home and jumped in the shower. She slowly peeled the plastic off her tattoo and let the warm water hit it. She winced as it stung the outlines, she got a wash cloth and gentler rubbed the ink off her ribs and shoulder trying not to touch the fresh tattoo. After a while she got out of the shower and walked to her room, she got half dressed but had no idea what to wear that wouldn't annoy her back she threw on a loose singlet and started cooking dinner. ————————— A few weeks had passed, Ville kept asking for phone sex but Neke was horrible at it, she was on her way home from work. She walked through the shops to grab something for dinner, she seen this nice set in the window so she walked into the store. She looked through they range before picking something out she knew would impress him, she walked up and purchased the items. She left the store she grabbed some dinner stuff and headed home, she cooked dinner for her and Xavier. They sat up chatting for a while before Xavier said he was out for the night, Neke cleaned up then went into her room. She grabbed out her new items and undressed herself, she put her new set on, she looked in the mirror. She touched up her makeup and her hair, she threw her dressing gown on and got on her laptop, she opened up the video calling and clicked Ville’s name. Ville answered, he grinned as Neke came on the screen “darling it's so good to see you” he said, Neke smiled “you too.” The chatted for a while, Ville looked around “kulta why won't you have phone sex with me” he asked “I'm not good at it” she said. He sighed “but I'm sick of jacking off after our phone call” he admitted, Neke smirked “that's naughty of you” she said teasing. Ville cocked his eyebrow “hang on a second” Neke said getting up, she put her laptop on her desk and walked out of view. She took her dressing gown off and took a deep breath, she checked in the mirror to make sure she was looking her best. “Neke you there” he asked wondering what she was doing “don't talk unless your permitted to” Neke said sternly. Ville was taken back “what did you say” he said, Neke walked back into view “don't talk unless I give you permission to” she said sternly. Ville couldn't believe what he was seeing, there was Neke in a leather lingerie set, she had a leather bra on that had a harness on the shape of a pentagram over it. She had a leather g-string (thong) on and a garter belt that had thigh high stockings attached, Ville was in shock. “You may speak now” Neke instructed, Ville was lost for words, Neke frowned “don't you like it” she asked sounding defeated. Ville shook his head “I love it I'm just so blow away with how amazing you look” he finally said “are you sure you like it” she asked. He stood up and turned to the side Neke smirked when she noticed he had an erection “I like it a lot” he said. “Good now undress” she demanded, Ville nodded and undressed himself, Neke started running her hands down her body. She watched as Ville watched her every move, she slowly unclipped her stockings, she turned around and bent over in front of the camera giving Ville a full view from behind. Neke unclipped her bra, she started stroking and playing with her boobs, Ville started to play with himself “no” Neke said. Ville whined he was rock hard and so wanted to touch himself “not yet” she said, she continued to caress her breasts. She ran her hand down her body to her underwear, she teased along her panty line, Ville was a mess, his cock was pulsating and he wanted to touch himself so badly but he played along with Neke. Ville was chewing his lip like crazy as he watched Neke slide her hand down her panties and touch herself. He let out a whimper “tell me what you would do to me if I was there in that hotel room with you” she said. Ville smirked “I wouldn't waste time, I would pin you down and kiss my way down to your panties” he said feeling himself getting extremely worked up. Neke had started playing with herself “tell me what you would do next” she said, Ville looked down at his rock hard erection “you may touch yourself while you tell me.” Ville nodded her started to stoke himself “I would slide your panties down your legs and kiss my way up your legs until I reached your pussy.” Neke moaned “I would ravish her” he said, he let out a moan as he started stroking himself faster. “God your so hot when you play with yourself” Ville said, Neke smirked “I wish you were here to fuck me” she said. Ville knew he wasn't going to last much longer, he looked at Neke “kulta I'm not gonna last much longer” he said panting. He could tel by her face she wasn't going to last much longer either, the watched each other pleasuring themselves, they were moaning “Ville I’m gonna” Neke said as her orgasm hit her. Ville was stroking himself furiously as he watched her orgasm hit her “fuck” Ville said as he felt the climax coming, he quickly grabbed a towel nearby and emptied himself into it.

#ville valo #ville valo fan fiction #ville hermanni valo #fan fic #domineke adler

[willowwzz]

𝕺𝖚𝖗 𝕾𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝕻𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖚𝖒 ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 2

                                             𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝟤

"You didn’t eat much did you?" James questioned as he walked thru the door. Closing the book, you walked past him and headed over to the fridge, grabbing an apple out. Taking a big bite, you held the apple in front of him. "I’m eating now arnt I?" you snapped, walking over to the back door and taking a seat on the old wooden bench that you had found at a junk shop and couldn’t resist buying. "Just worried about you that’s all" James replied, his back towards you. Quickly you shoved your feet into your boots and headed off down to the stables. The last thing you felt like doing was getting into yet another fight with James. Throwing your apple over the fence to one of the horses you quickened your pace as you realised it was getting a lot colder, and darker. Switching the stable lights on and grabbing a jacket, you threw it on as you walked into the feed room. One by one you fed all the horses that were in work, 12 in total, and loaded up the trailer with hay for the rest. You loved this time of the day, even though it took nearly an hour and a half just to fed everyone, but the enjoyment you got from sitting on the deck after a long day with a glass of wine watching the horses munch away happily, nice and warm, made it all worthwhile. "There girl" you whispered to Munchie, as you did the straps on her neck rug up, giving her a pat before placing her feed and hay down in front of her. Munch was the first horse you ever owned and she meant the world to you. So much so that you sold everything you owned and paid a small fortune to bring her over with you from New Zealand. Reaching old age now, Munchie was definitely the most spoilt horse on the property. Climbing the fence you were just about to hop back on the bike and head back up to the stables when you thought you saw a faint light coming from down in the gully. Walking slowly down the path you realised that the light was coming from the first cabin. The curtains were pulled and soft smoke was flowing freely from the chimney. Thinking nothing more of it, you jumped on the bike and within minutes were back at the stables. After locking up you made your way back to the house laughing as you were greeted by an excited Goldie, jumping and bounding like she was 2yrs old instead of 12! Her excitement meant one thing...you had a visitor.

"Bloody hell!" you screamed as you were scared half to death by Sam jumping out from behind the back door. "Surprise! Mwah haha I rang from in town, you weren’t expecting me this early were you!" she laughed, grabbing you in a bear hug. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed your eyes shut. "I stopped at the grocery store and got all your favourite things, oh and some of mine too. Didn’t know how much wine you had so I brought a carton!" Sam laughed as she still hugged you. “And I also got some...." Sam was saying when she stopped suddenly, dropping her arms and turning you to face her. "Hey what’s wrong?” You couldn’t even bring yourself to look her in the eye. "Long story" you managed to whisper, fighting back the tears. "Oh no here's trouble" James laughed, walking into the kitchen after shaking his boots off at the door. Sam gave you one last glance before turning to James. "Don’t you know it buddy!" she laughed, heading over to James and giving him a hug. "So how long are you staying? Hope you’re not going to be too much of a bad influence on my girl" he smiled walking over to the fridge and giving you a kiss on the forehead as he passed. "Unfortunately only a few days, then I have to head home, but...." she said as she rummaged thru her bag, finally pulling out a bottle of wine, "...I do have a few weeks off in a month or so, and will definitely be out then". You walked over to the cabinet and pulled out 2 wine glasses. "Plus...” Sam continued, "I might even let this one...” she pointed to you, "...talk me into riding one of those smelly brown things out in the paddock!" she laughed, pulling out a seat at the breakfast bar. "I’m going to hold you to that!" you smiled, thinking of the first time you had talked Sam into going for a ride. You were laughing so hard you thought you were going to fall off the horse! "Well I'll let you girls catch up. I’m heading to bed, got an early start" James said, leaning in to give a kiss. You felt him tense as you turned away so instead he had to give you a kiss on the cheek. "Night" he smiled to Sam as he headed up the stairs. "Wow" Sam gasped, filling your wine glass up again. "What’s up with you guys?” You took a deep breath and followed her out onto the deck, grabbing a blanket as you passed. 3 hours and 4 bottles of wine later you were exhausted. You had, laughed, talked nonstop and were now rather drunk, listening intently to Sam as she filled you in on her latest boyfriend. "If only my life could be that easy" you sighed, pulling the blanket up around you. It was nearly 3am and the valley was so still you could hear the odd bird call and the soft sound of horses munching away in the closest paddock. "It can be Hun, and it will be" Sam said, kissing you on top of the head as she stood up. "But for now...I’m off to bed". "Hey Sam?" you called out, just as she was heading in the door. "Mmm?" she said, turning to face you. "Thank you for everything" you smiled. Sam blew you a kiss and turned, closing the door behind her. You sat for a moment, with your eyes closed. Your mind swirled, thoughts racing at a million miles an hour and you wished you hadn’t had so much to drink. You thought about Sam and you thought about James. It wasn’t fair to him that you carried on with this relationship and as Sam made you realise tonight, it wasn’t fair on you either. Standing, you slipped your boots on, nearly falling over in the process, and threw the blanket around your shoulders, holding it in front of you. Even though it was pitch black you knew this place better than anyone and made your way slowly down to the bottom paddock. Taking a short cut thru the bush, you stepped over logs and branches, trying your hardest not to fall into the creek that ran beside the path. You heard the familiar nicker of Munchie as you walked up to her, throwing your arms around her. She grazed quietly as you freely and openly sobbed into her neck until you couldn’t cry anymore...

You didn’t know how long you had been outside, but you knew you were cold. Laying for what seemed like forever in the soft damp grass, you watched Munchie in what light the moon reflected thru the trees, eating away happily, her life so simple and carefree. Rolling over onto your back you stared up at the sky, the stars visible thru a clearing in the trees. You knew it was going to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things you were ever going to have to do but it had to be done. 'I can’t go on like this' you thought. 'It’s killing me'. Your mind was made up; there was no way around it. You were going to leave James. 'Shit...I’m going to do it' you told yourself. "I’m actually going to do it" you made yourself say aloud. Guilt overwhelmed you as you thought how horrible you were being. That you were actually happy, almost proud that you were going to break someone’s heart. No matter what, you had made up your mind. If James loved you, he would understand, wouldn’t he? "Ahh...excuse me?" someone spoke. You jumped up suddenly, almost pushing the person over as you clambered to your feet. Spinning around you saw a dark figure with long brown hair peeking out from under a black woolen hat. Stepping backwards slowly you didn’t know wither to punch him, or run away screaming. "I'm sorry..." he spoke again.”I didn’t mean to scare you...but when I saw you walking into the forest awhile ago, I was worried that you were lost or hurt". He stepped closer to you as you held your breath, not sure what to say or do. From under his hat as he got closer, you could see the most intense, yet softest, green eyes you had ever seen. "Are you ok?" he asked again. Nodding, you picked up your blanket and started to make your way back up to the house, not saying a word. You couldnt say a word. A combination of drinking, being freezing and just getting the fright of your life, you could only just manage to breathe let alone talk and you didnt even care that a random stranger was walking on your property, you just had to leave. You turned just as you were leaving the forest to see the man walking back down towards the cabin and disappearing into the darkness...  

'Oh god my head hurts' you groaned as you rolled over. Opening one eye you noticed that the curtains were open and dark grey clouds loomed overhead, threatening to downpour at any second. 'Shit...need to put rugs on'. Sitting up and brushing your hair out of your face you managed to drag yourself into the bathroom. Tying your hair up, you threw on yesterday's dirty clothes. 'No point putting on clean clothes if you are just going to get drenched' you thought. Slowly you made your way downstairs, the smell of the cooked breakfast made your stomach churn. It was nearly half ten so you knew James would be at work. Walking over to get a glass of water you noticed a note from Sam saying... 'Gone into town, not sure how long I’ll be but have my cell if you want anything. Love u x x'. You grabbed a glass of orange juice, carrying it out onto the deck. You had only just reached down to pull your boots on when you felt the first faint drips of rain blowing onto your face. By the time you got to the stables the rain was pouring down. Watching from the stable doors you waited a moment to see if the rain would pass. 'Damn it' you muttered as you made a run to the bike shed throwing your jacket on as you went. About half an hour had passed by the time you had loaded rugs and the feed's you had made onto the trailer and were on your way around the paddocks putting rugs on certain horses and feeding the others. Finally you arrived at your beloved horses paddock and were greeted, as usual, by her nicker, excited at the sight of her breakfast. The sky was getting darker making it seem more like nearly dusk instead of 10am. Quickly jumping the fence you placed her feed bin in front of her which made her stand still while you threw her rug on. The wind had started to pick up as you reached back to do the back straps up. As you walked around behind her to do the other side, the cottage down in the gully came into view. You noticed smoke still coming from the chimney and just as you were doing the front straps up you saw the front door of the cottage open. Sheltering behind Munchie to block the wind, you could see thru the blowing trees as someone walked out onto the small deck and stretch their arms above their head. Slowly last night’s events crept back as you remembered what had happened. You thought that you had imagined it or maybe even dreamed it. Jumping the fence and climbing back onto the bike you made your way back to the stables glad that this morning’s chores were over and you could finally have a coffee. Pulling the stable doors closed and switching off the lights you were on your way back up to the house, glad that the wind was finally starting to ease, as a truck pulled into the drive. With everything that was going on with James, and with Sam arriving you had completely forgotten that you had a client’s young horse arriving. 'Great...just great' you thought as you motioned for the truck to back into your round pen. The client who owned the horse, Susan, as you often thought of her, a bitch. One of those people that had more money than sense. Yes she had top quality horses that were on the competition scene and earning top money, but horses to her were like a machine instead of an animal, with real emotions and feelings. You had worked many of her horses that were on their last chance or had problems, so she had always sent them to you. As much as you didn’t like dealing with her, you couldn’t stand it if any of her horses went elsewhere and plus she paid well. Pulling the truck door down, you were nearly knocked off your feet as a black blur flew past you, smashing straight into the side of the round pen. "Whoa...easy" you soothed as the horse tried to run back past you and out the door. The truck driver quickly shut the round pen door behind you and climbed up on the viewing step that went around the outside of the pen. "Got a good one on ya hands this time!" the driver laughed. "You should have seen us trying to get the bloody thing on the truck! Talk about dangerous. Might just be the one you can’t beat!" he smirked before jumping back in his truck and leaving. You had abit of a reputation on the horse scene for trouble horses and when you had moved into the area, you weren’t entirely welcome. A lot of the older horse breakers where not impressed that someone was moving in on their territory and taking their business, let alone a woman. Watching as the horse ran in panic around you, you could tell by the look in his eye that this was indeed going to be a hard one. Looking at your watch, your stomach started rumbling as you saw that it had just turned 12. Slowly you edged your way to the door, squeezing out as soon as the horse went past. You could hear the horse instantly slow down when he realised any possible threat had gone. 'Poor thing' you thought to yourself as you made your way back up to the house to be greeted by Sam on the deck, two coffees in her hands.

"Ha! You look how I feel!" Sam laughed, handing you your coffee. "I haven’t drunk that much since, well last weekend!” "You’re such a bad influence" you smiled, sitting down on the deck beside's her and dangling your legs over the edge. Listening to Sam talk about everything from when she was in college to what she had to do when she got home, she were startled by banging coming from your round pen. "What the hell is that?" Sam asked. "Yet another of Susan's stuff up's" you murmed, making a mental note to call her. "Oh dear, just don’t get hurt please" Sam said, concern in her voice. "Mmm don’t plan on it" you replied. You were just about to head in doors to ring Susan when you heard James truck pull into the drive. Taking a deep breath you grabbed the phone and headed into the office. Flicking thru your address book, you found Susan's number as James walked into the office. Dialling quickly you prayed that Susan would answer so you wouldn’t have to talk to James. Instead you got her answer phone. After leaving a brief message, you quickly headed back towards the kitchen, hoping not to run into him. You knew you had to talk to him, but at that moment, you couldn’t face him let alone tell him what you had decided, what you had to do... "Hey Morg, making a sandwich, you want anything?" James yelled from across the room. "Ah no thanks, going outside for a few hours" you replied, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as you walked past. You had just reached the back door when James spoke. "Hey.." he said. "Mmm?" you asked, turning back to face him. "I won’t be home till late but..ah.. I need to talk to you about something, but later though, ok?" he asked, not looking at you. "Sure, ok" you said, wondering what was up. James didn’t seem his normal, laid back self. Even though you knew things could never continue between you two, it didn’t mean that you didn’t care about him, or wished him any harm. Sam had gone upstairs to make a few phone calls and answer some emails and you heard James leave again just as you were heading out to the stables. You had grabbed a halter, lead rope, jacket and a book. You loved this part of dealing with horses, gaining his confidence and trust for the first time. You were heading out the door when the stables phone rang. "Hello" you answered breathlessly. "Hi, it's Susan, has the horse arrived?" she said, emotionless. "He has" you said, again thinking to yourself 'why did you deal with this woman'? "Look, I'll put this bluntly, I don’t like the horse, but it has potential. He hasn’t been handled much and what handling he has had is, well let’s just say, that you need to be careful around him. He has a month, if he isn’t up to scratch by then, then he has to go, and I mean go" she said. "Ok, I'll see what I can do" you replied. As you were about to ask her his name, she cut you off. "He doesn’t have a name, don’t care what you do with him, just fix it" she said before hanging up on you. 'Ok good to talk to you too, bye' you muttered sarcastically. Finally getting to the round pen, you looked thru the viewing hole in the side of it. The horse was standing at the far side, sweating and shaking. 'What has she done to you?' you thought opening the door and stepping in. Instantly the horse started to pace, facing away from you to avoid any eye contact. Walking out into the middle of the round pen, you laid your book, halter and lead rope down and put your jacket on. All the while the horse still kept walking, every now and then when you made a sudden move he would pick up the pace and start trotting. 'And so it begins' you thought as you sat down on the sand and opened your book. As much as you tried to concentrate on your book, you couldn’t. Your mind kept wondering back to James, Sam and the mysterious man staying in the cottage. All you could remember was his voice, so deep and soothing and his eyes. You had never seen eyes that colour. Your attention was brought back by the black horse snorting. Slowly he had calmed down but his breathing deepened as he edged closer and closer to you. Ignoring him, you turned your back to him, looking down at your book. Behind you, you could hear him edge a little bit at a time closer to you and every time he came around your side to face you, you again turned your back on him. This continued for over an hour until eventually the horse was less than a metre away from you. Just as he put his head down to sniff you; you held your hand out. At the sight of your hand the horse reared, before spinning and again running manic around the pen. 'Definitely been beaten' you sighed turning to your book again. Eventually he settled, but this time watched you from a distance, too fearful to approach you again. After looking at your watch and realising that you had been in there for over 4 hours, you slowly made your way out of the round pen. Filling his water bin and putting in a hay net and a feed, you peaked thru the viewing hole as the horse sniffed at his food, then walked back to the far end, dropping his head and trying to rest, visibly exhausted. 'That explains a little' you thought as you headed back to the stables. 'Obviously the horse has been bribed with food before, as hungry as he is, he doesn’t even have enough trust to eat'. Feeding the other horses and putting rugs back on, you checked the horse again on your way back up to the house. He had picked a little at the hay but hadn’t touched his hard feed. 'At least it was something' you thought as you walked in the front door to be greeted by a beaming Sam. "Guess what, guess what, guess what!" she squealed, taking your hands and spinning you around the kitchen. "Mmm I don’t know..." you laughed, "but it must be good!"... "Guess who is the new regional manager with a big, fat pay cheque to match?" she laughed, dancing around the room. "Oh I don’t know?" you smiled "Tell me?” "Ha Ha" Sam laughed, playfully punching your arm. "Yay...congrats!!" you replied, pulling her into a huge bear hug. You knew how hard she had fought for that job and to finally be put in that position must have felt amazing. "What a perfect excuse to open a bottle of wine" you said as you walked over to the fridge. "Oh come on!" Sam laughed, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard. "You know I only drink on special occasion's...oh and any day of the week that end's in Y!” You couldn’t help but laugh at Sam, happy that she was happy. "But..." Sam continued, a sad look spreading over her face. "Mean's I have to leave earlier....like tonight". "Never mind" you lied, trying not to let your disappointment spoil her good news. "You never know..." you continued as you walked out onto the deck with Sam following behind you, "...maybe it will be me secretly surprising you next time". "I hope that's a promise!" Sam laughed, sitting down beside you on the deck. For awhile you both sat in silence, sipping your wine, watching the horses and listening to the birds wildly going about their business as the sun started to set, taking any last morsels of food back to their young one's before dark overwhelmed them. "Isn’t life funny?" Sam asked, turning towards you as she pulled her legs up to her chest. "What? As in you spend the day with gorgeous men in suits and I spend the day covered in hair and shit?" you laughed, sculling the last of your wine before Sam topped your glass up. "Exactly!" she laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. "But..." she smiled, giving you a peck on the cheek, "But...I wouldn’t have it any other way!" you replied, giving her one back. "Amen to that!!" she laughed as she raised her glass in the air.

An hour and 2 bottles of wine later, Sam was packed and ready to go. Standing on the deck, you felt guilty that you wanted Sam to stay, but also knew that no matter what, she would always be there for you and you would no doubt need her in the weeks to come. "Please please PLEASE promise me one thing?" Sam asked hugging you as her taxi pulled up. "Anything" you said, carrying her bags down the stairs. "Do what your heart tells you" she almost whispered, giving you one last hug. Fighting back the tears, you closed her door as she wound the window down. "Will call you tomorrow and also tell James I said bye" she yelled as the taxi went down the drive. Running up to the deck you just managed to see her wave as the taxi disappeared out of view. Instantly, as soon as you realised Sam had gone, the tears started...and you didn’t think they would stop.

Walking back into the kitchen you headed straight over to the fridge. You were glad you had run out of alcohol, choosing water instead. As you were about to head upstairs, you saw a note on the table.

"Hey babe....Dry those bloody eyes and harden up!! Love u, miss u all ready, will call u first thing :) Sam x x x".

God she made you smile! You headed up to your bathroom this time noticing a card sitting on your pillow. 'Sam!' you smiled again to yourself as you opened the card. Instantly your heart dropped when you realised it wasn’t Sam's writing, but James'.

"M, please don’t worry but I'm staying at George's tonight. Lately I've sensed that things have been abit off between us, and wanted to give you, and myself, some time out. I have my cell on me, and George's number is in the office so please call if you need anything...or me. J". Lying down on the bed, you held James' card to your chest and squeezed your eyes shut tight.  'So he does know what's going on' you thought to yourself as you rolled onto your side and pulled your pillow under your head. Knowing that gave you some sort of relief amongst the guilt. At least it wouldn’t just come out of the blue, like blurting out one day at the dinner table 'So hunny how was your day?...Oh good, mm mm yes me too oh by the way...I’m leaving you, can you pass the salt please?'. Ha if only it could be that easy! Tomorrow night, defiantly tomorrow night you decided. Walking back downstairs, you pottered around for an hour or so before lighting the fire. It wasn’t until you realised you had spent nearly 40 mins watching the flames that you forced yourself to get up. You were exhausted. Physical and emotionally. Back in your bedroom you ran a bath and poured way too much bath gel in, nearly causing bubbles to spill over the edge. Removing your clothes you slipped slowly into the hot water, feeling your skin tingle at the sudden heat. After what seemed like hours, and several refills of hot water, the tiredness had started to kick in as you slowly drifted in and out of sleep, when you were woken up by knocking. Not sure if you were just hearing things you ignored it as you rested your leg on the edge of the bath. There it was again, there was someone definitely knocking on the door. 'Damn it' you muttered, deciding to ignore it before reality kicked in. 'What if it was an emergency? What if the horses were out?’ 'Grr' you groaned as you pulled yourself out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you. Your wet hair, still clinging to your face and neck, covered your shoulders and was still full of bubbles. The person knocked again. "All right, all right, I’m coming" you yelled as you got to the front door and opened it. Gasping at what you saw, you felt like your legs were going to crumble as your heart leapt in your chest. Standing in front of you was possible the most beautiful person you had ever seen in your life. Wearing a navy beanie, his dark hair curled out from underneath, swirling it's way over his intense green eyes and down around his neck, sitting on his black hoody that was pulled up around him. "Um....hi" was all you were able to say. "I'm sorry..." the man apologised, "Didn't mean to interrupt...” he smiled nervously, motioning to your towel. You had been so mesmerized by this man that you had totally forgotten that you were standing there practically naked. Blushing, you instinctively wrapped your arms around you, holding the towel firmly. "Can I help you with anything?" you asked, suddenly shy. "Oh sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were ok?" the man replied, staring you straight in the eyes. 'What?' you thought to yourself as he spoke again. "I saw you the other night...was worried that you were lost or hurt" he continued as it all came flooding back. 'He was the man in the forest' you remembered. 'The man with the eyes'. "Mmm I'm fine!" you laughed. "I had a date with Mr Beam that night....Mr Jim Beam". The man laughed a deep, throaty, yet cheerful laugh. "Oh I've met him too!" he replied. "Many...many times!!". You both laughed, followed by an awkward silence. "Ah would you like to come in?" you asked. You don’t know why you had asked him, but secretly hoped he would say yes. "No no, I'll let you get back to your bath" he replied, motioning to your wet feet. Turning to walk down the stairs. "Might be able to sleep tonight now that I know your ok" he said quietly. "Thank you" you managed to whisper as he turned away. You stood in the doorway momentarily as you watched him disappear into the darkness. Closing the door you bolted upstairs to get changed. Quickly throwing on your pj's you were pulling back the duvet on your bed when you suddenly stopped. Staring at your reflection in the mirror opposite your bed, you were slightly shocked. You hadn’t realised it......but you were smiling.

That night was possibly the first night that you had slept peacefully in a long time and when you woke that morning, instead of groaning and rolling over to sleep some more, you were up and out of bed in a flash. You had no idea why you all of a sudden had an energy burst, but wanted to use it to your full advantage. After showering, you actually felt like eating for once and wolfed down a bowl of cereal before feeding Goldie and headed down to the stables. Within the hour you had feed out and taken rugs off, finishing at your beloved Munch. As you walked down to the far end of her paddock to get her feed bin that had blown under the tree's, you noticed the front door of the cottage down below open and you instantly thought of the man that was staying there. The man that had visited you last night. The man who's eyes you couldn’t forget. Smiling to yourself, you headed back up the hill, climbed on the motorbike and made your way back to the stables. After bringing in a few horses to work you let them settle in the yards with a fed and a hay net each before checking the horse of Susan's that had spent the night in the round pen. Looking thru the viewing hole you could see that he had eating his hay net but not touched his hard feed or water. You grabbed your gear, a halter, lead rope and book and slowly opened the round pen door. The horse stiffened his body as soon as you entered and watched your every move. Still not making eye contact you kept your back to him, slowly edging your way into the middle of the pen. As much as you enjoyed this part of dealing with horses, you also knew how dangerous it was. Many times you had been kicked, run down and knocked out by horses in the same situation as this one. But for some reason, this one was different. 'So far so good' you thought as the horse still stood still, not yet fearful enough to run from you. After ten mins or so, you heard the horse move as he edged closer and closer to you until you could feel his breath on the back of your head. "What a good boy" you murmed softly. The sound of your voice made the horse snort as he backed off a few steps. "Must think of a name for you aye boy?" you told him, still not turning to face him. "What about Black Beauty?" you laughed at your stupid remark. "I know...I know...not very original for a black horse is it?” After awhile of blabbering about nothing in particular, the horse had become more and more comfortable with your voice, and was even standing beside you, sniffing your hair, your folded legs and spreading his slobbery lips all over the pages of your book. "Oh thanks for that!' you laughed as you folded up the book, placing it under your jacket away from his prying lips. Slowly you stood up, standing right beside the horse’s head, the closest you had been to him yet. As you gently held out your hand, the horse took one quick sniff before backing up and again you turned your back on him. This time you walked a few steps away, and as expected, curiosity got the better of him until you could walk a whole lap of the round pen with the horse following behind. After filling his feed bin you walked with it in your hand before stopping and placing it at your feet and again turned your back on him. Within seconds the horse was happily munching away. Silently you left the round pen and peaked thru the viewing hole and watched as he stood contently, head in his feed bin. "I don’t know much, well anything, about horses, but he is a beautiful" someone said behind you. Startled, you jumped around. It was him. "He is" you whispered, turning back to face the horse so you wouldn’t have to look at him. You didn’t know what it was, but around him you felt odd, intense, as if time stood still. "Is he yours?" he asked, this time standing closer to you to look thru the hole as well. "No sadly, a clients horse" you replied, turning to pick your gear up. You started to head down towards the stables, and turned the corner into the yards as you looked over your shoulder back at him. He stood watching the horse for a moment before turning and walking back towards the cottage. 'What a dick!' you told yourself. 'Why the hell did you just freaking walk off? God imagine what he thinks of you now?' you thought as you started to tidy up, banging the buckets together in frustration. Grabbing the two horses from out of the yards, you were walking them back down to their paddocks when you noticed him patting Munchie over the fence. "Sorry for just heading off like that" you apologised as you were letting the horses go. "Not a problem" he replied, picking some grass for Munch. "I can see you are busy". "As always" you smiled as you jumped the fence. It had started to get warm so you decided to take her rug off. "Ville" he said suddenly, catching you off guard as he placed his hand out. "I’m sorry?" you asked him. He started laughing. 'That laugh' you thought, causing you to slightly smile. "Ville, my name's Ville" he said again. "Morgan" you replied, placing your hand in his. Your fingers tingled as your hand touched his. As if you were placing them in a hot bath again. "Pleased to meet you Morgan" he smiled. "I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!” You couldn’t help but laugh, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Ha very funny!" you smiled as you were climbing over the fence. Right at that moment, your foot got caught in the wire, causing you to trip. Suddenly you felt Ville's arms around you, saving you from completely falling. You stood up catching your breath. Looking up, your face was so close to Ville's that you could feel his soft breath on your face. "Ahh...thanks" you whispered as you felt his arms still around you. A small smile spread across his face. The curl in his lips was almost unbearable not to kiss. As you leant closer you could see the surprise in his eyes, yet also the urgency for you to kiss him. What the hell were you doing! You scolded yourself, but you just couldnt stop.Your heart beat quickened and you felt Ville's arms tighten around you as he pulled you closer towards him. Just as your lips were about to touch, you were both startled by the sound of a truck pulling into the drive. James' truck. "Damn it" you muttered as Ville's arm's left your side. "Umm better go" you said, stepping away from him. "Another time" he replied as he bowed, turned and left. You watched as he walked towards the cottage and once you felt like you could walk, you took a deep breath and made your way up to the house. 'Here goes nothing'...

Walking into the cold house, you switched the jug on and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. "Not for me thanks, all ready got one" James said as he walked into the kitchen. You sat down as you waited for the jug to boil. There was an awkward silence as you watched James finish his coffee and rinse his mug in the sink. He turned to you, resting against the bench. For a moment he looked at the ground, shifting on his feet. It wasn’t until he looked you in the eyes that the tears started to flow. And once they started, you didn’t think they were ever going to stop. James walked over to the table and sat down opposite you. "I love you" he said reaching out to take your hands in his. "I love you too" you replied. And it was true, you did love James. "But..." he asked, taking a deep breath. "I'm not IN love with you" you whispered. James sighed, his hands tensed around yours for a brief second before he dropped them and sat back in his chair. "I'm sorry" you sobbed, wiping the tears from your face. You could hear James' breathing deepen and forced yourself to look up at him. Silently you cried as he held his face in his hands, his elbows resting on the table. You heard him sniff every now and then, eventually standing up. "I'm glad you finally decided to tell me the truth" he said, a slight hint of anger in his voice. "I don’t know why you couldn’t have trusted me enough to tell me earlier". "I thought I could have made it work, I really, really did" you replied. James walked over to the bench grabbed the tissue's and placed them in front of you. "Drink?" he asked. You nodded yes, watching him as he poured you a large coke. You’re favourite. That was James, knew all you quirk's and habit's, like's and dislike's, and even though you had just broken his heart he still made you his first priority. "So what happens now?" he asked, getting himself a beer out the fridge. You shrugged your shoulders. What did happen now? "No matter what...” James continued, "...this place is yours, I'm not taking your dream away from you". "Thank you" you murmed. You both sat in silence for a moment when James stood up. You watched as he headed upstairs. He returned a few minutes later with a couple of bags. "You don’t have to go...” you said quickly, standing up. James smiled as he placed his bags on the deck. "Yes I do" he replied, turning to face you. "I'll be back at some stage to get the rest of my things and sort stuff out". The tears started falling again as you squeezed your eyes tight trying to fight them back. You felt James step closer towards and wrap his arms around you. "I'm sorry...” you wept again into his shoulder. "I know...” James replied before letting you go. You watched as James threw his stuff into the back of his truck and climb in. He gave a simple wave before heading off down the drive. You don’t know how long you sat on the step that night, Goldie by your side. But once the tears finally stopped and your body couldn’t take the cold anymore, you dragged yourself to your bed, not bothering to change and fell instantly asleep.

#villevalo #ville valo #fanfiction #fan fiction #villevalofanfiction #ville #valo #HIM #H.I.M #his infernal majesty #hisinfernalmajesty #villefanfiction #valofanfiction

[hornsbeforehalos]

Idea for a new Mini Series based off of ‘Tears and All’, my Ville Valo drabble and the first part of Kuolema from 'The Conquests of Norman Reedus.’ Thoughts? It will probably be just a little 6 part mini series, but ive been thinking about it for a while.

#Ville Valo x ofc #Ville Valo #Ville Valo fan fiction #him #his infernal majesty #heartagram