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morningfears · 6 years

Text

1996

Rating: PG-13

Request: “Hi! Can you write an Ashton fic where the two are best friends (btw this is gonna be a real cheesy request I’m sorry) and the reader has been in love with him for years. I found the prompt “it’s okay. You don’t have to love me,” and this just came to my mind. If you have a better idea with the prompt feel free to use it! There needs to be more Ash fics in the world ❤️” for @cxddlyash

Word Count: 2.3k

The chime of the bell hanging above the door is lost among the sounds of the newest Marilyn Manson album filling the empty record shop. It’s half an hour until closing, the sign still reads ‘Unfortunately, We’re Open,’ and it causes a grin to quirk Ashton’s lips as he reads over it for what must be the millionth time. He loves the character of the little shop, tucked away from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles traffic, and he’s almost certain that he would’ve still found his way to Atomic Records even if you hadn’t gotten a job there. He loves it, almost as much as you do, but he knows that he doesn’t stick around for the burnout regulars or the shitty coffee place next door.

He could find a million record shops, just like Atomic, scattered around the country.

But he sticks around this one because you’re there. You’re there, usually standing behind the counter littered with copies of Rolling Stone, a bright grin on your face as you talk about the latest Soundgarden record, and he’s never far from you. He hasn’t been farther than a fifteen minute drive away from you in almost twenty years and he doesn’t plan on that changing now.

Ashton thinks about how permanent you’ve been in his life, how when everything else changed, you didn’t, and he can’t help himself as he creeps up behind you. You’re focused on organizing the vinyl, your fingers thumbing over record sleeves without a second thought, and he’s overwhelmed by the urge to launch himself at you when he notices that the flannel you’re wearing is his. So, without a second thought, he wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes you into a tight hug.

You tense at the feeling of someone touching you, your mind instantly running through the self-defense moves from the class that your mother insisted you take, until you hear a familiar voice hum your name. “Get off of me, Irwin,” you laugh, not even feigning annoyance, as Ashton squeezes your waist tighter and rocks you side-to-side far too quickly, “some of us have jobs to do!”

“That’s why I’m here, doll,” he informs you with a grin as he finally unwraps his arms from your waist and reaches his arm over your shoulder for the re-stock pile of vinyl on the table in front of you. “We’ve got a gig tonight, wanted you to be there. So, I’m gonna help you close up.”

“Cal still hell-bent on being the next big thing in grunge?” you question as you grab a Soundgarden record from his pile.

“‘Course he is,” Ashton nods, “he’s sure we’re gonna the next Nirvana. Luke keeps telling him that grunge is dead, that rap is what’s in, but he’s determined.”

“Guess it’s a good thing,” you shrug as you reach for a copy of All Eyez, on Me, “but Luke’s sorta right. Rap’s in, can’t keep Pac, Eazy-E, or Snoop on shelves. Had a guy come in looking for an N.W.A album a few weeks ago. But, like, a lot of different styles of rock are in, I guess. Manson’s doing alright. Weezer, too. Sublime has had a good year. But, who knows? Maybe the twenty-first century will be good for four wannabe-punks.”

Ashton rolls his eyes as he nudges you with his elbow. “We’re not wannabe-punks,” he scoffs before he puffs out his chest exaggeratedly and grins, “we are punk rock.”

“Right,” you nod, “let the punk kid that works down the street hear you say that. Feel like he can take all of you by himself.”

Ashton laughs at your comment as he mutters something about you being right and the sound makes your heart skip a beat and the butterflies swirl in your stomach. There’s always been something about his laugh, even when the two of you were children, that made you desperate to hear more. You want to be the reason that that stupid, cheesy grin quirks his lips. You want to be the reason that he giggles so hard his cheeks flush brilliant pink. You want to be the reason that he smiles on the worst of days.

You want to make him happy.

You want to be his.

You’re not sure when you developed a crush on Ashton (or when you became the rom-com cliche you swore you’d never be) but it happened somewhere between graduating middle school and packing up your shit following your high school graduation to move across the globe with him. Los Angeles was his dream, music was his passion, and you promised the day that he joined his first cover band that you’d be right there beside him as he made it all happen.

You’ve never regretted that promise, never even come close, but you’ve always wondered what the past few years would’ve been like had you told him sooner. Maybe he would’ve left you back home, crossed an ocean to avoid your feelings, or maybe you’d be sharing the same bed instead of the same apartment and listening happily as he wrote love songs about you instead of some hot blonde he met at The Whisky.

But you try not to let yourself dwell on it because it’s okay. You know that he loves you. Not in the way that you love him, of that much you’re certain, but he loves you and that’s enough.

However, since you figured out your feelings and how deep they run, it’s been harder and harder to keep them from Ashton. You’ve never kept a secret from him, especially not one this large, and it makes your stomach churn with guilt every time you imagine a romantic future with him. He loves you, that’s enough, but he deserves to know that you love him.

“Hey, Ash?” you breathe, your voice shaking slightly as you fumble with a GWAR album, “Can I-“

Before you can finish your sentence, the ringing of the shop’s telephone interrupts you and Ashton grins. “I’ve got it,” he assures you happily, “finish shelving. I’ll be right back.” Before you can stop him, he’s bolted across the room to the telephone and is answering with, “Damn the man, save Atomic. How can I help you?”

“Ashton Irwin,” you shout, your voice lightening with amusement as you dart across the shop and reach for the phone, “give it!”

“It’s just Calum,” he laughs, not bothering to cover the receiver. You hear a shout of indignation from Calum’s end of the line before Ashton rolls his eyes and sighs, “I’m on my way, Cal. Was just helping close up Atomic. Yes, I know I don’t work here. She says fuck off. I’ll be there soon. We’re not doing another fucking Nirvana cover. Bye.”

You roll your eyes in amusement as you hear Ashton’s side of the conversation before you slap his shoulder when he hangs up the phone. “How did you know that was Cal? What if it was a customer? You can’t answer the phone like that!”

“Whatever,” he laughs, “you don’t care that much.” When you don’t argue, Ashton grins and tosses an arm over your shoulders. “Come on, walk me to the door so you can lock up. We don’t start playing until ten so you have time to go home and eat or change or whatever. If you do go home, can you grab my notebook? I wanna show the guys some of the stuff I’ve written.”

“Sure,” you nod as you flip the sign to ‘Closed’, “gonna grab Michael’s boots, too. Left them last week when he got drunk after we watched Empire Records.”

“Please,” Ashton sighs as he steps out of the shop and onto the sidewalk, “be careful! I’ll see you in an hour? If you’re not there, I’m coming to find you!”

You roll your eyes at Ashton’s words but nod as you lean against the propped open door. “Sure,” you laugh, “if I’m not there in an hour, it was the aliens. You’ll find me, though, won’t you, Scully?”

“Why am I Scully in this situation?” he questions as he turns and begins to walk backwards down the sidewalk. “Is it ‘cause I’m the hot one?”

“Excuse you, David Duchovny’s plenty hot,” you laugh, “but it’s ‘cause I’m in love with you and you haven’t noticed yet.” Ashton nearly trips over his feet as your words sink in. He pauses in place on the sidewalk and stares at you as you mutter, “Fuck, shit. Fuck.” As Ashton blinks at you, seemingly in shock, you quickly add, “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Shit, no, I did. I love you, I’m in love with you, but, like. It’s okay! You don’t have to love me. I mean, I know you love me, but, in the way that you love your sister, I guess. And that’s fine! I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just been on my mind and I felt guilty not telling you because we don’t have secrets but-“

You feel Ashton’s hand gently cover your mouth as he finally moves to stand in front of you. “Breathe,” he instructs, his eyes still wide and his cheeks impossibly pink, “just, take a deep breath.” He removes his hand from your mouth and nods encouragingly as you take a deep breath. As you focus on stopping the heaving of your chest, he blinks at you. “You’re in love with me?” he asks, wanting to clarify.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Again, totally okay if you don’t love me. You don’t have to! It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll, uh, move on or something. ’S’not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal!” he nearly shouts, his hands moving to drag through his messy curls. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. You loving me back is a really big deal!”

“I know it’s a big deal and I’m sorry I didn’t-“ as his words register, you pause and blink at him. “Wait, what?”

“I’ve been in love with you for ages,” he laughs, “loved you since you were my date to that dance in middle school.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you cry as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you tight against him. “We’ve wasted so much time!”

“I didn’t want to ruin what we had. We’ve been so good for so long, just being us. And you can’t keep a secret. I thought you’d have told me by now if you were into me,” he informs you with a grin as he nudges you back into the shop. “I wouldn’t have asked just anyone to move halfway across the world with me. It’s always been you. I’ve always wanted you.”

“I wouldn’t have moved halfway across the world for just anyone,” you laugh. “I think I’ve known since middle school, too. I’ve known for sure since the day you asked me to come to L.A. with you. Anyone else, I would’ve called them crazy immediately. With you? I didn’t even have to think about it.”

Ashton’s grin grows wider as he scans your face. When he sees the love and adoration in your eyes, he can’t help the giggle that bubbles in his throat. “Fuck, I love you,” he laughs, “I love you so much. I never would’ve thought that you loved me back but I’m so glad you do.”

“I never would’ve thought you’d love me back,” you laugh, “but you do. And I love you. And we love each other.”

Ashton nods at your words and moves to wrap his arms around your waist once more. “We love each other,” he repeats happily, almost in a daze, “holy shit, we love each other. This is amazing.”

“It’d be even more amazing if the two of you were on your way to the fucking venue but, you know, priorities, I guess,” you hear a voice grumble from the shop door.

You glance over Ashton’s shoulder and roll your eyes at the sight of Luke, Calum, and Michael but your exasperation quickly turns into laughter as Luke and Michael slap Calum on the back of the head. “Way to ruin the moment, shithead,” Michael huffs before he turns his attention back to you and Ashton. “Sorry about him, pissed ‘cause we’re not doing Heart-Shaped Box again. Seriously, though, we need to get going. Hate to break it up, though. Glad you’re finally being honest with each other about how you feel! We will spray you both with water bottles like they do cats if you start going at it while we’re around, though.”

“Go,” you laugh as you untangle yourself from Ashton’s embrace. “I need to finish up here. ‘M gonna run home and then I’ll be there, front and center, for the show. Can’t miss my favorite band.”

“Oh, so it took Ash proclaiming his love for you to make us your favorite band? Rude,” Luke huffs, barely concealing a laugh before he gestures to the door. “We’ll see you at the venue!”

The boys step out onto the sidewalk to give you and Ashton a minute. “I’d apologize for them but you know how they are,” he laughs as he runs a hand through his hair. “So, I know we confessed our love and everything but I feel like I still need to ask. Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Of course I will,” you nod, “wouldn’t want anything more. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he grins before he leans down to press a chaste, quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you in a bit! I love you, bye!”

And he’s out the door before you can truly register what happened. As you watch him and the boys rush down the sidewalk, you press your fingers to your lips and feel your cheeks heat. He loves you, just like you love him, and that’s more than okay.

It’s everything you ever could’ve wanted.

Author’s Note: So. My original idea was a greaser fic. Because Greaser!Ash makes me feel things. But then I started rewatching Empire Records and I decided, record store, vaguely 90s. Yes. So, please enjoy this vaguely 90s AU with the cutest boy. Also, I tried to drop a few 90s references but, like, I didn’t want it to be too much? Okay. Yeah. Bye!

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thegoldenyears-memories · 5 years

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AND TIL THE END YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, a bertie & tiberius mix

𝒘𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, 𝒘𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒅.

( listen / download )

01. BROTHER de mighty oaks ( we had run around in the summer in the nighttime. we made no sound and deep in the forest we get lost. whistle to the birds as they call, go on trips, moving with weather as it shifts. we took to the seas and let it drift, how many islands could we hear? in my faded truck we shot across the country to find our luck, and the youth inside would scream and shout like a dagger in the heart we ripped it out. and we had laugh through the night, call the star's by the fire shining on through the night. we will run to the rising life and on through the night, burn the flames, the world will know our names. and i'd follow you to the end of the world if only you would ask me to. on and on we go, my brother. i've got you. nothing to stop us now, because we found in life what's true. oh my brother, i'd follow you. )

02. LIVE LIKE WE’RE DYING de kris allen ( our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come, and we could make a feast from these crumbs. so if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done? yeah, we gotta start looking at the hands of the time we've been given. if this is all we got then we gotta start thinking. if every second counts on a clock that's ticking, gotta live like we're dying. )

03. STRESSED OUT de twenty one pilots ( i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think. wish we could turn back time, to the good old days, when our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out. )

04. HAVE IT ALL de jason mraz ( may you have the confidence to always do your best, may you take no effort in your being generous, sharing what you can, nothing more nothing less. may you know the meaning of the word happiness, may you always lead from the beating in your chest, may you be treated like an esteemed guest, may you get to rest, may you catch your breath. and may the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows, and may the road less paved be the road that you follow. may you have unquestionable health and less stress, having no possessions though immeasurable wealth. and may you win prizes shining like diamonds, may you really own it each moment to the next. here's to the hearts that you're gonna break, here's to the lives that you're gonna change, here's to the infinite possible ways to love you. here's to the good times we're gonna have, you don’t need money, you got a free pass, here's to the fact that i'll be sad without you, i want you to have it all. )

05. FRIENDLY REMINDER de against the current ( tied flowers in the laces of my boots, this year i drained the color from my mood. i took one too many beatings, i was left broken and bleeding. i woke up and covered up my bruise. hey, hey, i feel it. hey, hey, i know it. hey, hey, i give myself a friendly reminder: remember to smile. remember the pain only lasts for a while. throw away the last year is in the past. tell it to myself right now, a friendly reminder. )

06. MY BEST FRIEND de weezer ( when everything is wrong i'll come talk to you, you make things alright when i'm feeling blue. you are such a blessing. you are my best friend and i love you, and i love you, yes i do. there is no other one that can take your place, i feel happy inside when i see your face. i hope you believe me, because i speak sincerely and i mean it when i tell you i need you. i'm here right beside you, i will never leave you, and i feel the pain you feel when you start crying. )

07. TIME TO PRETEND de mgmt ( i'm feeling rough i'm feeling raw i'm in the prime of my life. we've got the vision, now let's have some fun. yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute? forget about our mothers and our friends, we were fated to pretend. but there is really nothing, nothing we can do, love must be forgotten. life can always start up anew. )

08. LIVE FOREVER de oasis ( maybe i just wanna fly, want to live i don't wanna die. maybe i just wanna breathe, maybe i just don't believe. maybe you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see. you and i are gonna live forever. )

09. ARE WE THERE YET de ingrid michaelson ( they say you're really not somebody until somebody else loves you. well, i am waiting to make somebody, somebody soon. and are we there yet? home, home, home. )

10. I WON’T LET GO de rascal flatts ( i will stand by you, i will help you through, when you've done all you can do and you can't cope. i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fight, i will hold you tight and i won't let go. it hurts my heart to see you cry, i know it's dark this part of life, oh it finds us all. you're gonna make it, yeah i know you can make it. )

11. RHYMES AND REASONS de john denver ( so you speak to me of sadness and the coming of the winter, the fear that is within you now that seems to never end, and the dreams that have escaped you and the hope that you've forgotten, and you tell me that you need me now and you want to be my friend. and you wonder where we're going, where's the rhyme and where's the reason? and it's you cannot accept: it is here we must begin to seek the wisdom of the children, and the graceful way of flowers in the wind. in their innocence and trusting they will teach us to be free. and the song that i am singing is a prayer to non-believers, come and stand beside us we can find a better way. )

12. BROTHER de gerard way ( and brother if you have the chance to pick me up? and can i sleep on your couch to the pound of the ache and pain? oh, in my head 'cause i'm awake all night long to the drums of the city rain. the lights we chase, the nights we steal, the things that we take to make us feel this. i can't go back, don't think i will. i won't sleep tonight as long as i still hear the drums of the city rain. 'cause the nights don't last, and we leave alone. will you drive me back? can you take me home? remember when you and i would make things up? so many nights, just take me down to the place we could hear them play. i miss that sound, 'cause now we don't sing so loud to the drums of the city rain. )

13. SUMMER SKELETONS de radical face ( we were sun-burned and shoeless kids, it was the dead of july. we were skippin' stones in the failing light, i smelled the fire place. although we were miles away, we were infinite, there was no time in those days. when our heads were still simple, we'd sleep beneath the moon. you were something that would always be around. when regrets were nowhere to be found. we were both laughing then, while carving bad words in the wood. we had no need to speak. night, down by the shore, we were down by the shore. when the skies opened up, and all the stars fell into the lake. when the water was warm, walked in over my head, but you pulled me out by the collar of my shirt. dirt in our ears, sun in our eyes, shirts hung in rags, head in the clouds. our fears had no teeth, hearts were still blind. )

14. GOOD TIMES de all time low ( on a fault line late night, underneath the stars we came alive, and singing to the sky just felt right, i won't forget the good times. remember how we laughed 'til we cried, i won't forget the good times. when we laughed, when we cried, those were the days we owned the nights. i never want to leave this sunset town, but one day the time may come. and i'll take you at your word and carry on, i'll hate the goodbye but i won't forget the good times. )

15. LEAN ON ME de bill withers ( lean on me when you're not strong. i'll be your friend, i'll help you carry on. for it won't be long 'til i'm gonna need somebody to lean on. you just call on me, brother, when you need a hand. we all need somebody to lean on. if there is a load you have to bear, that you can't carry, i'm right up the road, i'll share your load if you just call me. )

16. DON’T FORGET WHO YOU ARE de miles kane ( the finest clothes that you can find, dressed in my coat, i'm feeling fine, i wanna shine. i'll shine so hard, i'll stand up high. these foolish ways, i know my place, my time is now, my time is now. although we're tongue-tied and breathless, we won't let our worries dictate who we are. throw out the old doubts, we won't let our worries dictate who we are. don't forget who you are. )

17. TRUE COLORS de cyndi lauper ( you with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged, oh i realice it's hard to take courage in a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all, and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small. but i see your true colors shining through. i see your true colors and that's why i love you. so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors, true colors are beautiful like a rainbow. if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear, you call me up because you know i'll be there. )

18. JOKE de chastity belt ( nothing's serious, everything's a joke when we smoke, it's all in smoke. i feel fine, when we're high. getting better at forgetting everything that's heaviest, all a joke when we smoke. we laugh so hard, and then we cry, let's light everything on fire. )

19. MY WISH de rascal flatts ( if it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile, but more than anything, more than anything my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. you never need to carry more than you can hold. and while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to, i hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too. i hope you always forgive and you never regret, and you help somebody every chance you get. )

20. A.M. de one direction ( feels like this could be forever tonight, break these clocks, forget about time. there could be a world war three goin' on outside. you and me were raised in the same part of town, got these scars on the same ground, remember how we used to kick around just wasting time? feels like this could be forever right now, don't wanna sleep cause we're dreaming out loud. trying to behave but you know that we never learned how. won't you stay 'til the a.m.? all my favourite conversations always made in the a.m. 'cause we don't know what we're saying, we're just swimming round in our glasses and talking out of our asses, like we're all gonna make it. )

21. THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND de andrew gold ( thank you for being a friend, traveled down the road and back again. your heart is true,you're a pal and a confidant. i'm not ashamed to say i hope it always will stay this way, my hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow. and if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see, the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say thank you for being a friend. and when we both get older, with walking canes and hair of gray, have no fear, even though it's hard to hear, i will stand real close and say thank you for being a friend. and when we die and float away into the night, the milky way, you'll hear me call, as we ascend, i'll see you there, then once again, thank you for being a friend. )

22. I LIVED de one republic ( hope when the moment comes, you'll say i, i did it all. i owned every second that this world could give, i saw so many places, the things that i did, with every broken bone, i swear i lived. )

╰ ❄ feliz navidad y año nuevo, emma.

—; de: andy ( @thelonelyykitty )

—; para: emma ( @bcrtiehiggs )

Ola, soy yo otra vez xoxo. Esto me salió más gay de lo acordado mmm... quizá mi subconsciente piensa que Tibby y Bertie son endgame, quizá mi subconsciente los shippea, no lo sé, yo sólo lo hice. Quise abarcar desde como se drogan juntos, hasta sus estupideces, pasando por las ganas de ambos de encontrar alguien a quien amarsss, cruzando por sus ansias de descubrir el mundo y ser felices y del coming out de Tibby. Intenté evitar a toda costa meter canciones pop, aunque una que otra entró, es sólo que no me imaginaba el mix pop, ¿sabes? Si no más alternativo, porque siento que así es su onda. También toqué temas como lo que la familia de Tibby espera de él y los traumas del Bertie, ahí todo mezcladito.

Espero que te guste muuuucho y seas feliz con él. Ya te hice una carta grande en el otro regalo así que aquí sólo seré cortita. Felices fiestas, bebé, i luv u.

Y recuerda, lamer picaportes es ilegal en otros planetas.

— andy. 🎅

#bertie #santa secreto 2018

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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583.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 36

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? it depends how well i know the people talking. 3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? i’d have to learn a lot more than i already know about it to be confident enough to discuss it. 3403. Where does peace begin? in the masses. 3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not? let’s be real, not at all. 3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn't this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? no.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? i do tend to stereotype people in the way they look/dress when i see them for the first time but i’ll always treat everyone equally. 3407. do you prefer beans or rice? rice. 3408. who's a better tv dad?--dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? danny tanner. 3409. detroit or new york? new york, i’ve never been to detroit. 3410. What's your favourite Star Wars movie? none haha. 3411. What's your favourite Star Trek movie? none. 3412. How about Batman? idk. Indiana Jones? idk. Lord of the rings? never watched it. harry potter? i liked the second one. star wars? already asked. 3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be: Saddam Hussain? George W Bush? John Lennon? an alien? how did you come to be and what is the history of your kind? God? Someone you knew who has died? Steven Speilberg? JD Salinger? 3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? i have but i hardly remember the plot. If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie? Do you see this as a possible future for humanity? What'd you think in general? 3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells 'relief' how do you spell: love? happiness? evil? sexyness? yummy? what? 3416. Have you ever been to a Braodway show? yes. What one? the lion king. 3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? night time. 3418. How are your family get-togethers, loud and rambunctios or quiet and formal? loud, very loud. 3419. Would you be able to survive shippwrecked alone on a desert island? i have no idea. i think i’d last a couple days. 3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? no idea. 3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? aladdin. 3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones? years and years ago. do they even still exist? 3423. Is english your first language? yes. If not...How you say hello in your language: another word in your language + english translation: boob in your language: 3424. Make up a religion (make it up): no. what would it believe: 3425. Create your own country- Name of country: no. Ethnic background: Language (make it up): Other details: 3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Syliva plath day: Increase your psychic powers day: Waiting for the barbarians day: Air day: omg no. 3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue's Clues: maybe he just got over it? 3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? lol wtf. 3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, "Hay, thats a good idea!" nope. 3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don't know what you're missing. nope. 3431. Can you flare your nostrils? yes. 3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? hell no, i’d get sticky af after. 3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? nope. 3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? no idea. i feel like in those days people would try everything they could to see if it were edible. 3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? to see if it was edible. 3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son'? it’s not always true. 3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc... 20 for worst). Avril: Ashanti: Joan Jett: David Bowie: the Bee Gees: The Doors: Tool: DMX: Iggy Pop: Creed: Weezer: Ministry: Thursday: Kittie: Adam Ant: Rancid: the Clash: Led Zeppelin: Moby: Tom Waites: not doing this, i haven’t listened to all these artists so it would be hard to judge. 3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? sitcom family member. 3439. What is the wave of the future? technology. 3440. What's your favorite old movie (before 1990)? grease or sound of music. 3441. When someone tells you that their signifigant other lives REally Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? no. 3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? hawaii. 3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? easier to say. 3444. What is there no place to hide from? the truth. 3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? giving. 3446. What can you never have just one of? undies. 3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/ the wrestler. 3448. What would you be the patron saint of? bath and body works hahaha. 3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? yes. 3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: the world lol. 3451. When was the last time you ate too much? on friday. omg. 3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine: no. 3453. What have you seen that's...bizzare? this drunk girl at a house party on the weekend, just casually chomping on a whole tomato. 3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that yoou boycott? What and why? no. 3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control? no. 3456. Are you too tense? sometimes. 3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum? still here. 3458. Why aren't comic books popular anymore? i feel like they still are. 3459. Think of one friend (who?): my boyfriend. When is the last time you saw each other? yesterday. Do they smoke? yes. Do they believe in God? yes. When you first saw this friend what was your impression? ew. Their age? 26. The top five things you think they think about? me, family, friends, sports, work. 3460. Do you say what you mean? Do you mean what you say? yes. 3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself? if that was the only way i could survive, then yes. 3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability no. 3463. Complete the sentence. When a problem comes along You must: try and solve it. 3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food-- fast, cheap, tastey, healthy cheap and tasty. 3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise): a rollercoaster. 3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question. no kittens. 3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible? i don’t think so? unless it was an operation of some sort. 3468. Do you get emotional watching movies? sometimes. 3469. What amkes you feel nostalgic? looking at old photos. 3470. Do you feel like you've been misplaced? no. 3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun? no. 3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush? traveling. 3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them? try my best to move on. 3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring: drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 6 taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 4 having great sex: 3 winning the lottery (one mil): 1 getting followed home by a stray animal: 9 meeting someone interesting to talk to: 7 seeing your favorite band in concert: 2 seeeing aa broadway show: 5 halloween: 8 3475. Can you keep a secret? yes. 3476. Where is the tenderness? in the heart. 3477. What's one song you REALLY like from the: 30's? 40's? 50's? 60's? 70's? 80's? 90's? 00's? lol idk. 3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera? digital camera. 3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision? somewhat. that’s probably more than half the video games out in the market. 3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Why or why not? to a degree, yes. there will always be people who can’t control their anger. 3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play? no. 3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children? to some extent but it really depends on the individual. if they’ve been taught that violence is wrong at a young age they should be fine. there are millions of people, including children, that play violent video games. not everyone turns out violent because of it. 3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony? idk. 3484. Name four things that aare AWESOME: sleep, food, money, vacations. 3485. What's the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing? nothing lol. 3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you? yes. 3487. Are you the only person who really exists? no. 3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination? i hope not. that’d be lonely. 3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination? maybe. 3490. Can you prove you exist? How? my birth certificate. 3491. What do you HAve to get off your chest? nothing. 3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them? yes. 3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Who? my immediate family and my boyfriend. 3494. Are you in therapy? nope. 3495. Do you go shopping on black friday? yes. 3496. What is the bane of your existance? rude people. 3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack? none. 3498. Who's the big winner? me. 3499. What are the 3 funniest: music videos? Movies? songs? idk. 3500. Guess what? no.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

Text

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-six

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? I don’t know. I feel like I’m pretty good at reading people and picking up on what they’re saying.

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? I don’t want to speak in front of people about anything.

3403. Where does peace begin? With yourself.

3404. Does Aamerica practice the ideals it preaches? Like any of us, we don’t always practice what we preach. We have our issues as a country for sure.

If yes when and where?

If not, why not?

3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? It doesn’t usually go how I think it might.

If yes, isn't this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? Like it said, it doesn’t usually go how I think it will. I don’t like follow or a script or anything. Conversations veer off in all kinds of directions.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? I think I’m generally pretty open minded about a lot of things.

3407. do you prefer beans or rice? Beans and Mexican rice are good.

3408. who's a better tv dad?--dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? Bill Cosby is disgusting.

3409. detroit or new york? New York.

3410. What's your favourite Star Wars movie? All of ‘em.

3411. What's your favourite Star Trek movie? I don’t like Star Trek.

3412. How about Batman? Batman v Superman and the Justice League movies.

Indiana Jones? I’ve never watched them.

Lord of the rings? I never could get into those.

harry potter? Prisoner of Azkaban.

star wars? You asked this already.

3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be:

Saddam Hussain?

George W Bush?

John Lennon?

an alien?

God?

Someone you knew who has died?

Steven Speilberg?

JD Salinger?

3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? No.

If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie?

Do you see this as a possible future for humanity?

What'd you think in general?

3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells 'relief' how do you spell:

love? G-O-D.

happiness? D-O-G-S.

evil? S-A-T-A-N.

sexyness? A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R S-K-A-R-S-G-A-R-D

yummy? C-O-F-F-E-E

3416. Have you ever been to a Braodway show? Yes.

What one? Phantom of the Opera.

3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? Whichever.

3418. How are your family get-togethers, loud and rambunctios or quiet and formal? Maybe a bit loud, but not too wild. We have a good time.

3419. Would you be able to survive shippwrecked alone on a desert island? No.

3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? Does he? I don’t know how it ends.

3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? There’s a few.

3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? No, not since like the early 2000s.

If yes, what ones? I went into kid and teen chats.

3423. Is english your first language? Yes.

If not...How you say hello in your language:

another word in your language + english translation:

boob in your language:

3424. Make up a religion (make it up): No.

what would it believe:

3425. Create your own country-

Name of country: Sleepyland.

Ethnic background: It would be a diverse country.

Language (make it up): Zees. lol you know, like Zzz.

Other details:

3426. How would you celebrate these holidays?

Dogs in Politics day: Promote adopt not shop and banning puppy mills.

Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Skin cancer awareness and encouraging people to check for any suspicious moles.

Syliva plath day: Read her poetry.

Increase your psychic powers day: I don’t believe in psychics.

Waiting for the barbarians day:

Air day:

3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue's Clues: He didn’t get kicked off, he left because he had cancer.

3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? Uh, phonics.

3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, "Hay, thats a good idea!" No.

3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? Um, no.

You don't know what you're missing. Wtf.

3431. Can you flare your nostrils? Sure.

3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? No thanks.

3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? No, omg. That would be awful.

3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? I don’t know.

3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? You’d have to go back in time and ask them.

3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son'? Sure? Unless the father is horrible or something.

3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc... 20 for worst).

Avril:

Ashanti:

Joan Jett:

David Bowie:

the Bee Gees:

The Doors:

Tool:

DMX:

Iggy Pop:

Creed:

Weezer:

Ministry:

Thursday:

Kittie:

Adam Ant:

Rancid:

the Clash:

Led Zeppelin:

Moby:

Tom Waites:

3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? What in the world kind of comparison is this? I would be a sitcom family member.

3439. What is the wave of the future? What.

3440. What's your favorite old movie (before 1990)? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

3441. When someone tells you that their signifigant other lives REally Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? Lol not usually, but it would depend on the person.

3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? Oooh. I’d love to visit both.

3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? Convenience?

3444. What is there no place to hide from? Your mind.

3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? I love giving presents.

3446. What can you never have just one of? Cup of coffee.

3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan? Wrestling.

3448. What would you be the patron saint of? I’m not a saint.

3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? No. Kids are so curious and easily excitable about everything. I admire that.

3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: Sleep. ha.

3451. When was the last time you ate too much? I don’t know. I used to be such a foodie, but over these past 3 years my issue has become not eating enough.

3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine: Alexander Skarsgard. Google him.

3453. What have you seen that's...bizzare? I’ve said that about things, but I can’t think of an example right now.

3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that yoou boycott? Yeah.

3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control? No thank you.

3456. Are you too tense? I am.

3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum? Uhh.

3458. Why aren't comic books popular anymore? For some people it is.

3459. Think of one friend (who?): My dog.

When is the last time you saw each other? Like 30 minutes ago.

Do they smoke? No.

Do they believe in God? Dogs don’t have that kind of awareness.

When you first saw this friend what was your impression? Omg she was so small and cute, but she was really shy and nervous poor thing. When we asked the worker at the shelter if we could pet her, she like slowly crawled out. She wouldn’t stand up and at first we thought she couldn’t. Even for treats she’d just stretch her body to reach them, but wouldn’t get up. You’d never know that now because she’s very goofy, hyper, and playful and goes wild for treats. She takes her Princess name very seriously, too. She can be so demanding when she wants to go on a walk or wants a treat.

Their age? 2.

The top five things you think they think about? Treats. Toys. Playing. Sleep. The boy dogs next door. ha.

3460. Do you say what you mean? I tend to hold back a lot.

Do you mean what you say? Not always. I downplay things a lot, too.

3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself? Eeeek I really don’t think I could. Unless perhaps I was in a situation where I had to and survival instincts kicked in.

3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability

3463. Complete the sentence.

When a problem comes along You must: Whip it.

3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food-- fast, cheap, tastey, healthy Tasty and healthy. Though let’s be real for me it’s fast and tasty.

3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise): I don’t know.

3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question. They are quite adorable.

3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible? That would be very concerning and should definitely be checked out.

3468. Do you get emotional watching movies? Rarely. And if I do, I’ll feel sad and maybe tear up a bit, but I’m not a crier during movies. That’s very rare.

3469. What amkes you feel nostalgic? A lot of things.

3470. Do you feel like you've been misplaced? No.

3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun? No. I don’t fight people at all. That’s concerning if you go around fighting people because you find it fun.

3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush? I haven’t felt that in a long time.

3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them? I know how it feels to be in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same and, well, it sucks to say the least.

3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring:

drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club:

taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream:

having great sex:

winning the lottery (one mil):

getting followed home by a stray animal:

meeting someone interesting to talk to:

seeing your favorite band in concert:

seeeing aa broadway show:

halloween:

3475. Can you keep a secret? Yes.

3476. Where is the tenderness? I don’t know, but I like that song.

3477. What's one song you REALLY like from the:

30's?

40's?

50's?

60's?

70's?

80's?

90's?

00's?

3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera? Well, all cell phones now take videos and pictures so I could say video phone and it would cover the digital camera, too.

3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision? No.

3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Yes.

Why or why not?

3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play? Nah.

3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children? It can for some people.

3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony? “It’s a bittersweet symphony, this life.”

3484. Name four things that aare AWESOME:

3485. What's the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing? I got nothin’. I’m literally just doing this and snacking on cheesy tots from Burger King.

3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you? It would get along just fine.

3487. Are you the only person who really exists? No...

3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination? No.

3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination? Blah.

3490. Can you prove you exist? Hi, here I am.

How?

3491. What do you HAve to get off your chest? Nothing.

3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them? I believe I would.

3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Maybe 3.

Who? My mom, dad, and my younger brother.

3494. Are you in therapy? No, but I definitely should be.

3495. Do you go shopping on black friday? Online.

3496. What is the bane of your existance? fjlksfkdsfls

3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack? Neither one interests me.

3498. Who's the big winner?

3499. What are the 3 funniest:

music videos?

Movies?

songs?

3500. Guess what? Chicken butt.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #5000 question survey

0 notes

on-the-starship-enterprise-blog · 7 years

Text

Jacked Up

Title: Jacked up

Pairing: Bones x reader

Summary: Bones can’t get the reader off his mind

Word count: 641

Warnings: a lil bit of swearing

A/N: I got inspired to write this while listening to Jacked Up by Weezer off the White Album so I WOULD HIGHLY SUGGEST LISTENING TO IT WHILE READING THIS OR JUST LISTENING TO IT BECAUSE IT’S A REALLY GOOD SONG

Leonard shuffled his way to the ships bar and sank into a stool placing his head in his hands. He ordered a glass of bourbon. He raked his hands through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut. Y/N’s face flashed in his minds eye unbidden. It was always like that. He couldn’t escape. It was like her image was tattooed on the inside of his eyelids. And it wasn’t better when he opened his eyes. She was always there. Teasing Jim, coming into his office to get a drink and talk about their days, his eyes found her immediately in any room, or in the med bay getting patched up. That was always the worst. It didn’t matter that Y/N was head of security he still worried about her. She went on about as many away teams as Jim and somehow always came back needing some kind of medical attention. No matter how many times she beamed down to a planet Leonard could never stop feeling anxious. The whole time she was down his heart would beat wildly, his skin would get clammy, his hands would shake and sweat, and he would feel like all the warmth was sucked out of him. He had tried telling himself he would feel this way about anyone but he knew it wasn’t true. He took a swig of his bourbon draining the glass and raised hand for a refill.

“Jeez bones you look like you’ve been through hell and back.”

Leonard started at voice and turned to see Jim. He grunted a response and took a smaller sip of his newly refilled glass.

“What’s bothering you?” Jim persisted

“Nothing kid its nothing” Bones muttered. There was a silence while Jim scrutinized his friend.

“It’s Y/N isn’t it?”

“What?!” Leonard whipped his head towards Jim.

“Y/N is the reason behind this particular bar visit.”

Leonard stared at Jim for a moment before dropping his head. “Yeah its Y/N.”

“What are you waiting for Bones?” Jim asked softly.

Leonard didn’t answer. He stared unseeingly at the ice in his glass slowly melting. Images of Y/N flashed through his mind. The way her smile lit up her face. The way her hair fell over her shoulders. The way she could kick someone’s ass when she wanted to but could also be incredibly gentle and compassionate. Her laugh rang through his head and his chest ached. He realized he loved her so much it hurt. What was he waiting for? Mainly he was afraid she wouldn’t feel the same way. But what if she did? He was afraid of getting her and then losing her somehow. But would it be worse to never have been with her. He needed to stop bullshitting himself and man up. He met Jim’s eyes.

“I gotta go see about a girl.” He said. Jims face broke into an enormous smile. Leonard strode out of the bar and to Y/N’s room. It was like she was on a planet again. His heart raced, hands shook, he felt cold and clammy. He stopped in front of her door and started to have second thoughts. Then, somehow his arm reached out and knocked of its own accord. He heard a shuffling inside and then she was in front of him. She wore pajama shorts and a Starfleet academy tshirt.

“Hey Len. What’s up?” she asked smiling.

His mouth opened a closed a few times without any sound coming out. She looked at him puzzled. Suddenly his feet took him towards her and he was kissing her. She stiffened at the initial shock but within seconds relaxed into his warm soft lips raising her hands to his neck. He pulled away and she felt the kiss had ended far too soon. She met his rich hazel eyes.

“Y/N can I take you out to dinner this week?” he finally asked.

“I’d love that.” She smiled.

#leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #leonard mccoy fanfiction #leonard mccoy fic #bones fanfiction #bones fic #star trek #star trek fanfiction #star trek imagine #bones mccoy #reader x leonard #reader x bones #leonard imagine #bones imagine

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musicalfocus · 7 years

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1/5/17

ALBUM REVIEW by Mark Finlay

Kid Cudi - Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’ (2016, Wicked Awesome/Republic)

It’s been a little over a year since Kid Cudi released the behemothic monstrosity that was Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how many people have managed to recover from it by this point in time. Anyone who has paid any sort of attention to my reviews may remember my particularly scathing assessment of this, ahem, album. I know it’s still burned into my own memory (seriously though, check it out, I’m proud of it). Normally when I use the type of black and white language presented in that review, whether for good or, in this case, immensely awful, I look back on it and think to myself, “You know what? I should have given this album more of a chance, it has some bright spots,” or, “I should have been more critical of this record, it’s outstanding but it certainly has its flaws. A perfect score doesn’t necessarily indicate true perfection.”

Well, boys and girls, I can confidently say I stand by my words. Every. Last. One.

When it came out shortly after the release date that Kid Cudi was suffering from severe depression, I almost felt bad about the words that I wrote. Almost. Because you see, artists, regardless of their personal situations, open themselves up to scrutiny with everything they decide to put out (with the exceptions of posthumous releases, I guess). It’s just the nature of the trade. And Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven wasn’t just your run of the mill horrible album. It had every single thing going wrong for it, even down to the cringeworthy cover (admittedly not necessarily improved on here with this new guy up here), the track names, the sheer length of the album, the songwriting, the instrumentation, the vocals, just... absolutely everything you can imagine. And it all amounted to not only one of the worst albums of the year, but one of the worst high-profile releases from an established artist of all time. Anyway, this is truly beating a dead horse at this point. Two paragraphs in and I haven’t even begun to talk about the real topic at hand.

You can understand my skepticism, my defeated groan filled with memories I had so painstakingly attempted to repress for months, when not even a year later comes the announcement of a new album from Cudder himself--this time, with an equally absurd title (seriously dude, what is with your newfound need to take the ‘g’ off of the ‘-ing’ suffix?) and still a pretty bad album cover (and then they went and made it worse by making it purple... why?). Weeks go by, and then the track listing is unveiled. 87 minutes long.

It’s happening again. The memories begin to rise to the surface with unrelenting determination.

But wait. Andre 3000 is on this? Travi$ Scott? Pharrell? Could this finally be an honest-to-God hip hop/R&B album from Kid Cudi at the end of the year 2016? Cautiously I step into the unknown here, and when it’s all said and done, in a year where Weezer put out their second consecutive quality album, David Bowie spoke to us from the afterlife, Frank Ocean gave us two releases in three days, and The Avalanches came out of a 16 year hibernation and picked up right where they left off, the biggest surprise of the 2016 calendar year in music was Kid Cudi... returning to form?

Something that has been missing from Cudi’s outputs since the first Man on the Moon, a truly sincere and thoughtful album, is genuine emotion. It’s at this point I take back what I said about the album title--it’s actually perfect. Because this entire record, its somber lyricism and brooding atmosphere, is a bona fide expression of the pain that we all know Scott Mescudi the person has been feeling for quite a while now, and his attempt at showing and dealing with this pain through his music and expelling the “demons” he has struggled with is done with great effort, craftsmanship, and above all-- passion.

Still, he takes us through this (admittedly still far too lengthy) journey through his mind with a grace that prevents this album from being overbearingly bleak, a line that it tiptoes along but never fully crosses, much to the thanks of the great features from the aforementioned artists. It’s become apparent at this point that when Kid Cudi strays away from the sadness in his music, it means he’s not truly putting his heart into it, and it can come out subpar, to put it lightly. But when he does sad, boy can he do it well.

Split up into four acts, potentially the most notable on this album is the fourth and final, “It’s Bright and Heaven Is Warm.” After a rather challenging hour-plus to wrap up the first three acts, Cudi (with the aid of Andre Benjamin and Pharrell) pulls us out of this truly glum hole that borders on despair and offers a glimpse into what he feels his future holds for him. “I ain’t riding no waves / Too busy making my own waves, baby” off of “Surfin’” shows us that despite the turmoil that smolders within him, Kid Cudi has not given up, and it’s a noteworthy thing in this day of people being open and expressive about their own mental issues for someone who comes from this perspective to tell of belief in a light at the end of the tunnel. Many albums coming from this same dark outlook on life fail to recognize any such thing, resulting in records that are 100% doom and gloom and honestly, as someone who understands that point of view, it can get tiresome.

Passion is a refreshing record not just because of the obvious catharsis for Kid Cudi lyrically that comes through on it, but also because it is sonically dense and varied, while keeping and staying with a consistent tone that creates a respectable flow from track to track. Though the transitions between the acts, particularly the first three, feel a little bit convoluted and arbitrary, the overall theme and intention of the record is never in question. Cudi forays more deeply into electropop than we have seen him do before, and impressively prevents it from sounding cheaply produced or arranged.

Perhaps the strongest connection with his earliest works other than the lyrical content is the feeling of listening to a soundtrack from space. This is a sound that Cudi not only did well early in his career-- he made it his signature. And after mostly abandoning it with some (not as well-executed) signs of it still popping up here and there on albums like Indicud and Satellite Flight, he resurrects this sound fully and shows us that he can still create this sound masterfully.

When it’s all said and done, it’s not a stretch to call Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’ Kid Cudi’s finest output yet. Though missing some of the catchy choruses from some of his hit singles from back in the day, and with less truly rapped out verses and cheesy yet charming one-liners and metaphors, Passion features some of Cudi’s finest song arrangements, production, and memorable hooks to date. It signals a fine return to form and a lot of reason for fans of Kid Cudi and of the genre as a whole to feel optimistic going forward.

Rating: 7.5/10

Choice tracks:

“By Design (feat. Andre Benjamin)”

“Rose Golden (feat. Willow Smith)”

“Surfin’ (feat. Pharrell Williams)”

Weakest tracks:

“Does It”

“Dance For Eternity”

“Swim In the Light”

REVIEW PAGE HERE

#kid cudi #passion pain & demon slayin #passion pain and demon slayin #passion pain & demon slayin'#hip hop #pop rap #rap #electropop #album reviews #music reviews #album review #music review #new music #2016 music #m #7.5

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thesinglesjukebox · 6 years

Video

youtube

WEEZER - AFRICA

[2.08]

We're covering this because it was demanded on Twitter by like... maybe one or two people!

Joshua Minsoo Kim: An exciting musical event for people who go online and say things like "You, good sir, win the internet today." [0]

Taylor Alatorre: What did Weezer have to do to get back in the good graces of the Hot 100 for the first time since the balloon boy hoax? Apologize for party rocking with Dr. Luke and Jermaine Dupri? Drop the affectations and release a cathartic summer bummer album featuring their single greatest track since the 90s? Put the affectations back on, using late-period Fall Out Boy as a guidepost rather than a cautionary tale? Nope. Apparently all they had to do was check their Twitter mentions. The success of Weezer's "Africa," along with Disturbed's "The Sound of Silence" and Bad Wolves' "Zombie," portends a dark future in which guitar groups grasp onto whatever relevance they can by serving up unchallenging, irony-free leaf rubbings of pop's past glories. It's the easy path, and it's also the best way to self-fulfill the prophecy of rock's demise. If rock is destined to become the new jazz, 80s Greatest Hits compilations are the new standards. We should demand more audacious interpretations than this. [4]

Joshua Copperman: A great shitpost functions like a Rube Goldberg machine, putting a maximum amount of effort into a minimal, slight result (see: the GameCube meme). The insistence that Weezer should cover "Africa" was great not only because of the dedication of the Twitter account, but because fundamentally it's not a bad idea! Weezer has a sense of humor, and they're particularly notable for their harmonies and guitar riffs. Yet the result is abhorrent, with the worst mix to hit the Hot 100 this decade, a superlative achieved from the first crash cymbal and distractingly metallic snare. As the song goes on, distorted guitars and multitracked harmonies fight for space, obscuring those drum and culminating in a synth solo that screams Free 80s Synth VST instead of remotely mimicking the original. "Africa" is a hard song to cover, so it doesn't make sense to learn the song so meticulously and then utterly give up on anything else (harmonies and tom fills notwithstanding). The punchline should be that the cover is great, not that the cover exists st all -- think Celine Dion's contribution to Deadpool 2. Weezer's lack of willingness to go the extra mile, unlike Dion, is frustrating and borderline insulting. Internet types suspect that the poor mixing is "passive agressive," but what's the point of that? It's "Africa." The best covers of a song like that, shitposters or otherwise, both play up the camp factor and taking the actual songcraft seriously. The camp is there with Weezer, but it's still jarring hearing a version of "Africa" that feels dry and perfunctory instead of joyous. [2]

Juan F. Carruyo: This is what happens when a (bad) meme comes to life: the boys from Weezer take a note-for-note trip through the yacht rock classic adding metal power chords in the chorus but undermining the groove by subtracting the congas from the mix, so all that is left is a joyless, by-the-numbers execution. [1]

Alex Clifton: I like "Africa" as much as the next white people, but did we need this? Who asked for this? Is this ironic or sincere? "Africa" has been so memed out and Weezer themselves feel like a meme band that I'm struggling to wrap my head around it. As a cover: it's faithful and seems to love the source material. As a Weezer song: surprisingly not sarcastic, which is a nice change from Rivers Cuomo's usual schtick. As a whole: it's kind of a mess. [4]

Tim de Reuse: I mean, it's bad. The chorus, originally personable and warm, is here reduced to a straining mess of sugary guitars and phoned-in autotune. But even if there were an ounce of passion in the delivery, and even if the execution was in any way technically competent, and even if it didn't have the air of a desperate attempt to hop on a long-departed bandwagon, this would still be a waste of everyone's time, because Rivers Cuomo does not have anything meaningful to contribute to song "Africa" by the band Toto. [0]

Katherine St Asaph: At least when Rickrolling was a thing, no one tried to convince me that Rick Astley was a serious studio musician and that I should give an actual shit about Toto, instead of recognizing "Africa" as Mannheim Steamroller-synthed dreck with unsingable verses and mildly questionable lyrics about Africa that should have been left in the '80s alongside Dynasty hair and Ronald Reagan. That's not the most damning thing about Weezer covering "Africa." I also can't help but note that with the possible minor exception of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," this recanonization-via-meme only happens for the dudeliest of dudes. That's also, surprisingly, not the most damning thing about Weezer covering "Africa." Then there's Weezer, endlessly criticizable Weezer, already a meme band when they released Snuggies in 2009, now gone full Smash Mouth Eat the Eggs Imgur-core. It's Weezer in 2018, it's a given they're not trying, but it's still remarkable how mushy this sounds, like the rains down in Africa drenched all their equipment. But that's not the most damning thing about Weezer covering "Africa" either. The most damning thing is that Weezer covered "Africa" in a lower key. If you're going to karaoke your way back to relevance, put up the high notes or shut up. [1]

Edward Okulicz: I hate "Africa," and Weezer sleepwalking through it is the sort of thing that didn't need to exist, because it's easy to imagine it, and it's also easy to imagine something better. Like, say, Toto doing "Hash Pipe." Or! Even better! The Rentals doing "Hold the Line." [2]

Alfred Soto: Let me attempt to clear the fetid air. Toto needed Boz Scaggs, Michael Jackson, etc, to be any good. "Rosanna" is awful. I don't need Rivers Cuomo's power chords to explain how nostalgia for secondhand colonialism works. Who is this cover for? [2]

Jessica Doyle: So the original, while not exactly bland, is more cheesy than respectable; if the song has any notoriety at all it's because the lyrics are soaked in self-absorption, describing without containing any actual information. The cover increases the guitar and, while not changing the lyrics at all, delivers them with a wink. (Otherwise why bother? The original's not good enough for reverence.) And it works! The energy is fantastic, and the revisions make the original's flaws charming rather than grating. I've been having a lot of fun watching their live performances, and -- wait, what? Aren't we talking about Dreamcatcher? [2]

Thomas Inskeep: Not as smooth on the verses, and a little too hard on the chorus, but at least Rivers Cuomo dialed down the most whiny, grating qualities in his voice in an attempt to nail what makes "Africa" so perfect in the first place. This is a straight-down-the-middle second-base hit for me: I don't love it by any means, but I don't hate it. And that's more than I can say for the past decade, maybe two, of Weezer's career. It's nowhere near as good as the original, but you knew that. [5]

Ian Mathers: Is it really a surprise that the dude from Weezer is a less compelling singer (even, or especially with clunky digital assistance) than the dude from Toto? Or that loud guitars don't necessarily improve things? Or that anything good about this finely aged hunk of cheese is totally lost by trying to update it without even vaguely attempting to improve it? This does not bless any rains, anywhere. [0]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It's impossible to review Weezer covering Toto's "Africa" in a way that reveals anything more than just noting that it is Weezer covering Toto's "Africa" in the year 2018. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Weezer

0 notes

surveystodestressme · 6 years

Text

156.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 36

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking?

it depends

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice?

probably not

3403. Where does peace begin?

within

3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not?

3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn’t this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas?

sometimes but it depends on who i am talking to and what the convo is about

3406. In what ways are you closed minded?

i stereotype sometimes and don’t stray far from it

3407. do you prefer beans or rice?

rice.

3408. who’s a better tv dad?–dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner?

danny tanner.

3409. detroit or new york?

never been to either

3410. What’s your favourite Star Wars movie?

the first one

3411. What’s your favourite Star Trek movie?

never seen any of them

3412. How about Batman? never seen any of them

Indiana Jones? ^

Lord of the rings? the first one

harry potter? prisoner of azkaban

star wars? already asked.

3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be:

Saddam Hussain?

George W Bush? 9/11, whaddup with that?

John Lennon?

an alien? how did you come to be?

God? are you real?

Someone you knew who has died? what’s it like when you die?

Steven Speilberg?

JD Salinger?

3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? nope

If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie?

Do you see this as a possible future for humanity?

What’d you think in general?

3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells ‘relief’ how do you spell:

love? jack

happiness? sunflowers

evil? lemons

sexiness? jennifer anniston

yummy? food

3416. Have you ever been to a Broadway show?

nope

What one?

3417. Nighttime shows or matinees?

nighttime

3418. How are your family get-together, loud and rambunctious or quiet and formal?

loud, very loud.

3419. Would you be able to survive shipwrecked alone on a desert island?

probably not

3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his?

no idea.

3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack?

i don’t know off the top of my head

3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones?

i used to when i was much younger

3423. Is english your first language? yes.

If not…How you say hello in your language:

another word in your language + english translation:

boob in your language:

3424. Make up a religion (make it up): people have already done plenty of that

what would it believe: anything

3425. Create your own country-

Name of country:

Ethnic background:

Language (make it up):

Other details:

3426. How would you celebrate these holidays?

Dogs in Politics day:

Magic circles day:

Be bald and free day:

National mole day:

Syliva plath day:

Increase your psychic powers day:

Waiting for the barbarians day:

Air day:

3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue’s Clues:

i think it was for drugs

3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics?

what????

3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, “Hay, thats a good idea!”

3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don’t know what you’re missing.

nope.

3431. Can you flare your nostrils?

yup

3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter?

that sounds awful

3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months?

not that i know of

3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy?

same way people discover other things would be good, eating them

3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them?

because they were hungry probably

3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son’?

i don’t have an opinion either way

3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc… 20 for worst).

Avril: 2

Ashanti: 3

Joan Jett:

David Bowie: 8

the Bee Gees:

The Doors: 7

Tool:

DMX:

Iggy Pop:

Creed: 5

Weezer: 1

Ministry:

Thursday:

Kittie:

Adam Ant:

Rancid:

the Clash:

Led Zeppelin: 4

Moby:

Tom Waites: 6 only counted the ones i know

3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member?

sitcom family member.

3439. What is the wave of the future?

technology.

3440. What’s your favorite old movie (before 1990)?

the breakfast club

3441. When someone tells you that their significant other lives Really Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up?

nope

3442. Alaska or Hawaaii?

alaska

3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC?

it’s shorter

3444. What is there no place to hide from?

time

3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them?

giving.

3446. What can you never have just one of?

kitchen cooked potato chips

3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/

the wrestler.

3448. What would you be the patron saint of?

idek what that means

3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid?

sometimes

3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!:

greys

3451. When was the last time you ate too much?

a couple days ago

3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine:

i don’tneed to, i can just imagine it

3453. What have you seen that’s…bizzare?

several things

3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that you boycott? What and why?

not off the top of my head

3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control?

no.

3456. Are you too tense?

i can be

3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum?

right where i am

3458. Why aren’t comic books popular anymore?

people don’t want to read anymore, i guess

3459. Think of one friend (who?): my boyfriend.

When is the last time you saw each other? today

Do they smoke? no

Do they believe in God? no

When you first saw this friend what was your impression? i thought he was really cute

Their age? 22

The top five things you think they think about? motorcycles, computers, me, video games, work

3460. Do you say what you mean? Do you mean what you say?

yes.

3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself?

yeah, if i had to

intellect, niceness, open-mindedness, stability, wit & cleverness, creativity, spirituality, interesting dresser, magicalness, great body, great dancer

3463. Complete the sentence.

When a problem comes along You must: solve it

3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food– fast, cheap, tasty, healthy

tasty & healthy

3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise):

a rollercoaster.

3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question.

kittens

3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible?

3468. Do you get emotional watching movies?

all the time

3469. What makes you feel nostalgic?

looking at old photos.

3470. Do you feel like you’ve been misplaced?

no.

3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun?

no.

3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush?

carnival rides

3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them?

move on.

3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring:

drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 6

taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 8

having great sex: 5

winning the lottery (one mil): 1

getting followed home by a stray animal: 4

meeting someone interesting to talk to: 7

seeing your favorite band in concert: 3

seeeing a broadway show: 9

halloween: 2

3475. Can you keep a secret?

yes.

3476. Where is the tenderness?

in the heart.

3477. What’s one song you REALLY like from the:

30’s?

40’s?

50’s? good golly miss molly

60’s? sugar, sugar

70’s? dancing queen

80’s? livin on a prayer

90’s? no diggity

00’s? oops i did it again

3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera?

electric scooter

3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision?

absolutely because it’s ridiculous

3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Why or why not?

yeah

3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play?

no.

3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children?

yeah, i feel like moreso on people who are too mature to understand. i don’t think children should play violent video games because i don’t really think they can handle it.

3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony?

idk.

3484. Name four things that are AWESOME:

sleep, my family, having a roof over my head, and food

3485. What’s the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing?

watching greys anatomy... not really creative or funny but that’s what i’m doing

3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you?

yes.

3487. Are you the only person who really exists?

nope

3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination?

nope

3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination?

maybe.

3490. Can you prove you exist? How?

yes, my birth certificate.

3491. What do you HAve to get off your chest?

nothing at the moment.

3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them?

yes.

3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Who?

yeah, i guess so? my siblings, parents, and boyfriend

3494. Are you in therapy?

i used to be a while ago

3495. Do you go shopping on black friday?

nope

3496. What is the bane of your existence?

rude people.

3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack?

weird science

3498. Who’s the big winner?

me.

3499. What are the 3 funniest:

music videos? i don’t watch a lot of music videos

Movies? horrible bosses, 22 jump street, we’re the millers

songs? nightmare on my street, cotton eye joe

3500. Guess what?

no.

#bored #Questions #quiz #survey

0 notes

nostalgiaispeace · 6 years

Text

626.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 36

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? depends on if they’re good at it. 3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? if they’d be willing to listen. 3403. Where does peace begin? starts with you. 3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not? LOL 3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn’t this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? depends.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? probably about some things i’m sure, but i’m learning and growing so. 3407. do you prefer beans or rice? rice. 3408. who’s a better tv dad?–dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? - 3409. detroit or new york? NY 3410. What’s your favourite Star Wars movie? none. 3411. What’s your favourite Star Trek movie? none. 3412. How about Batman? The Dark Knight. Indiana Jones? none Lord of the rings? none harry potter? order of the phoenix. 3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be: Saddam Hussain? idk George W Bush? why’d you do 9/11? John Lennon? can we write a song together? an alien? how bad does Earth suck? God? why? Someone you knew who has died? are you proud? Steven Spielberg? can you cast me in a film, please? JD Salinger? who are you? 3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? no If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie? Do you see this as a possible future for humanity? What’d you think in general? 3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells ‘relief’ how do you spell: love? happiness? evil? sexyness? yummy?

WTFFFF 3416. Have you ever been to a Broadway show? no What one? - 3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? doesn’t matter 3418. How are your family get togethers, loud and rambunctions or quiet and formal? louddddddddddd 3419. Would you be able to survive shipwrecked alone on a desert island? i don’t know. probably not. 3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? don’t care. 3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? Inception. 3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones? i did. random ones 3423. Is english your first language? yes. If not…How you say hello in your language: another word in your language + english translation: boob in your language: 3424. Make up a religion (make it up): no. what would it believe: 3425. Create your own country- Name of country: no. Ethnic background: Language (make it up): Other details: 3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Sylvia Plath day: Increase your psychic powers day: Waiting for the barbarians day: Air day:

WTF 3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue’s Clues: wasn’t it drugs? 3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? neither 3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, “Hey, that's a good idea!” nope. 3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and laid down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don’t know what you’re missing. um no 3431. Can you flare your nostrils? yes. 3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of Gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? no 3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? nope. 3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? i don’t know. 3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? idk 3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son’? no. it’s not factual? 3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc… 20 for worst). Avril: 2 Ashanti: 1 Joan Jett: 7 David Bowie: the Bee Gees: The Doors: 19 Tool: 5 DMX: Iggy Pop: Creed: Weezer: Ministry: Thursday: Kittie: Adam Ant: Rancid: the Clash: 6 Led Zeppelin: 20 Moby: Tom Waites: 3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? sitcom family member. 3439. What is the wave of the future? technology. 3440. What’s your favorite old movie (before 1990)? hmm..that’s hard...Singin’ in the Rain 3441. When someone tells you that their significant other lives Really Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? no 3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? neither 3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? easier to fit on the sign? 3444. What is there no place to hide from? myself 3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? not gonna lie...getting. 3446. What can you never have just one of? i dunno 3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan? nothing 3448. What would you be the patron saint of? LOL 3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? yes. 3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: why does my back always itch? 3451. When was the last time you ate too much? - 3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine: Oliver Sykes 3453. What have you seen that’s…bizarre? um..i dunno 3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that you boycott? What and why? Amazon. they treat their employees like shit 3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control? um no 3456. Are you too tense? probably. 3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum? still here 3458. Why aren’t comic books popular anymore? i’m pretty sure they are. 3459. Think of one friend (who?): Jordan When is the last time you saw each other? my wedding Do they smoke? no Do they believe in God? no When you first saw this friend what was your impression? i can’t remember. we were super little. Their age? 26. The top five things you think they think about? boyfriend, books, work, family, kitty. 3460. Do you say what you mean? Do you mean what you say? probably not well; yes 3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself? no 3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability naw 3463. Complete the sentence. When a problem comes along You must: cry and figure it out. 3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food– fast, cheap, tastey, healthy cheap and healthy 3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise): um..i don’t know? 3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question. KITTENS ALWAYS 3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible? i hope not. 3468. Do you get emotional watching movies? depends on the film. 3469. What makes you feel nostalgic? a fuck ton of things. 3470. Do you feel like you’ve been misplaced? yes 3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun? no 3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush? music. 3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them? i don’t know. 3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring: drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 2 taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 3 having great sex: 6 winning the lottery (one mil): 8 getting followed home by a stray animal: 4 meeting someone interesting to talk to: 5 seeing your favorite band in concert: 9 seeing a Broadway show: 7 halloween: 1 3475. Can you keep a secret? yes. 3476. Where is the tenderness? soul? 3477. What’s one song you REALLY like from the: 30’s? 40’s? 50’s? 60’s? 70’s? here? 80’s? 90’s? 00’s? 3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera? digital camera 3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision? kinda. 3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Why or why not? seems to be. they aren’t keen on ending it any time soon. 3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play? don’t play video games. 3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children? no 3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony? music 3484. Name four things that are AWESOME: music. sleep. harry potter. books. 3485. What’s the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing? nothing.... 3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you? yeah 3487. Are you the only person who really exists? no 3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination? no 3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination? no 3490. Can you prove you exist? How? yes. my birth certificate. 3491. What do you Have to get off your chest? none of your business. 3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them? yes 3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Who? maybe; i dunno 3494. Are you in therapy? yes 3495. Do you go shopping on black friday? sometimes 3496. What is the bane of your existence? humans 3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack? weird science 3498. Who’s the big winner? Lana Del Rey 3499. What are the 3 funniest: music videos? Movies? songs? 3500. Guess what? no.

#me #survey

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 3rd November 2019

I apologise for how late this will probably end up being posted, but we have a big week to talk about, with EIGHT new arrivals, two from Selena Gomez, three from Kanye West and two appearing here in the top 10 so I’m just going to get through everything as soon as possible to the best of my ability, although this week has several...mishaps on the BBC page to say the least, so I’ll try to correct them if I can, and I have had to wait for my week of non-stop Weezer listening to end or for me to accidentally slip up and listen to something else so I could actually write about the new arrivals here.

Top 10

Interestingly, none of the nonsense that this chart week ensued seems to appear in the top 2 or shake the #1 at all, as “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is at its fifth consecutive week at the top of the UK Singles Chart.

“Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean – well, it’s actually a remix of a Jay Sean single but just let me relish in the fact Jay Sean is on the charts again – isn’t moving either at number-two, the runner-up spot.

The first impact that we can see at the top level of the charts is the debut at #3 for Selena Gomez’s first US #1 “Lose You to Love Me”, which the BBC has interestingly misspelled as “Loose You to Love Me”, her 13th UK Top 40 hit, fourth top 10 and highest-peaking song ever, after “It Ain’t Me” with Kygo peaked at #7. We’ll talk more about Selena Gomez’s two new arrivals later.

Thanks to Gomez, Post Malone’s “Circles” is down one spot to number-four.

At number-five is Ed Sheeran with “South of the Border” featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B, down three spots this week to number-five.

We have our second new arrival within the top 10, at number-six, “Follow God” by Kanye West from his ninth studio album, JESUS IS KING. He has several songs debuting here in the UK Top 40 this week, so we’ll talk more in-depth about his mini-album bomb later on, but this is his 44th UK Top 40 hit, which is crazy impressive, and his 20th top 10.

At number-seven, boosted up 11 spots by an Ariana Grande remix, is Lizzo with “Good as Hell”, making it officially her biggest song in the UK and her first top 10 hit, as well as Grande’s 16th.

Up two spaces to number-eight this week is “Memories” by Maroon 5.

Down two spaces from last week, we have Dermot Kennedy at number-nine with “Outnumbered”.

Finally, at #10, to round off the top 10, we have Lewis Capaldi’s “Bruises” down four spaces from last week.

Climbers

Naturally, there aren’t many climbers here because of the album bomb and influx of new arrivals, but we do have some unfortunate boosts for “hot girl bummer” by blackbear up five spaces to #25... and that’s all.

Fallers

Fallers on the other hand... we could split this up into genre, actually.

For pop, rock and EDM, we can start with “Lights Up” by Harry Styles deservedly flopping six spaces down to #17, then continue with “10,000 Hours” by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber down 12 to #29, “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston down eight to #31, “Sorry” by Joel Corry featuring uncredited vocals from Hayley May down 10 to #32 and finally “Don’t Call Me Angel” by Ariana Grande featuring Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey down 13 to #39 – but that’s not all.

For hip hop and R&B, we have “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott down seven to #12, “Be Honest” by Jorja Smith and Burna Boy down five to #14, “Professor X” by Dave down seven to #21, “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae down nine to #28, “Playing Games” by Summer Walker down nine to #33, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey down 10 to #35 and finally, “Taste (Make it Shake)” by Aitch down nine to #39... but again, that’s not all.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We have no returning entries but we sure do have a lot of dropouts, some of them genuine hits such as “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch out from #36 and “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid out from #39, hits that never really hit the landing with the British general public but have been on the middling section of the charts for a while and could easily rebound like “Motivation” by Normani out from #27, “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo and remixed by DaBaby from #31, “frick, i’m lonely” by LAUV and Anne-Marie out from #32 and “Lalala” by Y2K and bbno$ and remixed by Carly Rae Jepsen and Enrique Iglesias out from #37, as well as some genuinely premature drop-outs such as “Graveyard” by Halsey out from #29 and finally, “47” by Sidhu Moose Wala, MIST, Steel Banglez and Stefflon Don out from #38. Now, finally, after all that time spent on stray UK Top 40 observations... let’s talk about Kanye.

ALBUM BOMB: Kanye West – JESUS IS KING

On October 25th, Kanye released his ninth studio album, JESUS IS KING, after missing several release dates and changing name from YANDHI. Kanye, a now born-again Christian, makes a “gospel” album free of any explicit lyrics, accompanied by a short film of the same name. It features an all-star guest list of vocalists and producers, including frequent collaborators Ant Clemons, Benny Blanco and Mike Dean, the reunion of legendary rap group Clipse, trap beat-makers Pi’erre Bourne and Ronny J, and smooth jazz saxophonist Kenny G. Obviously, it went #1 in the US, #2 here, but to mixed reviews – now, I won’t be focusing on the politics that surround the album and I am not very knowledgeable of religion so I cannot really comment on much beyond my understanding of Christianity and arguably more importantly, the lore of Kanye West. Mark Grondin of Spectrum Pulse already quoted more Bible quotes in his album review than I could remember digits of pi, and several people, like DeadEndHipHop, Sean Cee and even Anthony Fantano, whether you like them or not, have made several in-depth discussion videos about whether West’s sudden revelation is a genuine moment for the rapper, a mental breakdown or a cash-grab. I’m here to discuss the music... but even that’s not very good. I wrote a very lengthy review for the album two days after it came out (And before it went through an additional few fixes for mixing quirks, sigh) which will be linked here if I remember, and overall, it was disappointing, a light 4/10 and easily the worst record in West’s discography. Regardless, let’s talk about the debuts here.

#20 – “Closed on Sunday” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, Angel Lopez, Brian “AllDay” Miller, Federico Vindver and Timbaland – Peaked at #17 in the US

Features uncredited vocals from the Sunday Service choir and A$AP Bari(?)

The most memeable yet also one of the most detestable tracks on the album, this is his 45th UK Top 40 hit. “Closed on Sunday” was one of the few tracks set to fail off the pure concept, as the biggest issue with most songs on JESUS IS KING is the lack of development or complete mishandling of great ideas, to the point where there basically is no effort to, you know, write a song here. “Closed on Sunday” is essentially one verse split into half due to a flow switch at the midpoint, and despite a runtime of only two minutes and 32 seconds, it drones on endlessly, with a solemn guitar melody leading into what could sound like a pretty cool, dark ballad, built up by the choir vocalising in harmonies that sound actually pretty great but then the 808s come in and ruin any sense of harmony. Kanye comes in with some of the worst mixing I’ve ever heard vocals have, especially on an album with the budget Kanye has, with a lot of background noise and I can even hear the buttons pressed on the phone or other device Kanye is using to record at about 0:38, which signals a drastic change in how the vocals are mixed, but it’s still shoddy and allows them to have some pretty severe clipping during the “chorus”, until a sudden shift where a turgid beeping sound works as a pathetic excuse for you know, an actual synth, and until now, Kanye’s vocals have not had reverb or Auto-Tune added onto them, so his vocals being drenched in effects actually sounds great here... but he still has a sore throat and sounds like he’s struggling here, although unlike “God Is” and just about the entirety of 808s & Heartbreak, where it adds to the emotive performance, Kanye sounds bored and with no choir backing him like they could have been, the release here just isn’t as cinematic as it could be and it just sounds like a melodramatic Kanye aimlessly spouting random Bible motifs over 808s without taking his daily Dequadin lozenge... and there are no drums... ever. Oh, and A$AP Bari comes in at the end to shout “Chick-fil-A”, abruptly interrupting the beat’s natural progression and making it clear as day that the album is unfinished. Also, speaking of those lyrics, should you really be comparing YOURSELF to a fast food restaurant that donates charity to anti-LGBT hate and pressure groups? That’s not very Christ-like, Ye. It probably wouldn’t matter if they didn’t either, because a thinly-veiled Taylor Swift reference (Yes, I know the Bible mentions “snakes” and “vipers” as much as reputation does, but the two aren’t on good terms so it’s no coincidence in my opinion) and calling God your “number-one with the lemonade” don’t exactly make you sound like a wordsmith. Oh, and A$AP Bari, the uncredited vocalist on the outro, pleaded guilty to sexual assault earlier this year, which again doesn’t exactly sound like a Christ-like thing to be supporting either... but I digress. The version he performed on Jimmy Kimmel with a genuine choir backing him and a brass band is miles ahead of this, so don’t bother with this version, or better yet, don’t bother with this monotonous crap at all.

#19 – “Selah” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, E*vax, BoogzDaBeast, Federico Vindver, benny blanco and Francis Starlite – Peaked at #19 in the US

Features uncredited vocals from the Sunday Service choir, Ant Clemons and Bongo ByTheWay

Now, I’m slightly more positive on his 46th UK Top 40 hit, “Selah”, the opening track (Aside from the short “Every Hour” interlude / intro track which is only Sunday Service) of JESUS IS KING, yet that might actually make it more frustrating and it’s easily the track I come back the least to because overall, it’s actually pretty uninteresting and doesn’t have a true “hook”. It starts with some cloudy synth noodling that sounds kind of cool with the subtle strings but then Kanye comes in with some pretty awfully-mixed vocals that is incredibly unprofessional, teasing his fans for wanting YANDHI, and saying it was coming before “Jesus Christ did the laundry”, and quoting John 8:33 to excuse his “Slavery is a choice” comment, which he’s been trying to respond to the backlash to for about a year and a half now, failing each time. Also:

Pour the lean out slower

Hold up –that ain’t Christ-like. The explosions of marching band drums come in in a similar fashion to “Feel the Love” off of KIDS SEE GHOSTS, and then honestly the bridge, which is insanely repetitive but builds up tension perfectly with Ant Clemons and the Sunday Service choir repeating “Hallelujah” incessantly with distant guitar strings, handclaps and sudden pitch shifts reflecting the change in Kanye’s mindset and the intensity soon becomes a lot more ramped up from now on, finishing the bridge with a pretty beautiful vocal line that the 808s hilariously harmonise with. Then, Kanye comes back in with a verse co-written by Pusha T, and you can REALLY tell, and it’s still awfully-mixed, when there’s no true excuse. He’s drowned out by the bursts of drums and bass as well as the choir’s recurring vocal sample. The best part of the song soon kind of fizzles out in a chaotic outro, in which fireworks literally go off while Kanye screams nonsense as well as “Yeezus” which isn’t exactly Christ-like, but it sounds insane and honestly a tad odd and unfitting for the album, which is supposed to be an uptempo Christian rap album? While there are parts of this song I don’t approve of, especially Kanye, who ruins pretty much every song he’s on... on his own album, this is pretty tolerable, albeit somewhat contradictory lyrically and far from my favourite Kanye track. At least there’s some grandiosity and emotion here.

#6 – “Follow God” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, BoogszDaBeast and Xcelence – Peaked at #7 in the US

I should be thankful for the grandiosity and emotion behind “Selah”, because this sure doesn’t have any of that. How the HELL does this have three producers? How on Earth does this album have 11 people on the mixing and mastering and yet this still sound like absolute gutter trash in my headphones? “Follow God” is easily the least interesting song on the JESUS IS KING album, and that’s pretty impressive for a record that contains the song “Water” with Ant Clemons, yet it’s the biggest and I don’t see why at all. There straight-up isn’t a chorus by any meaning of the word, or its many synonyms, and its dated production almost resembling 90s hip hop in the soul sample from 1974’s “Can You Lose by Following God” by Whole Truth and the genuine 90s groove and funk that is somewhere here in the beat, doesn’t exactly make it sound like a catchy trap banger that would reach the US top 10 in 2019, but it’s there. It’s called by many fans a spiritual successor to 2016’s “Father Stretch My Hands” from The Life of Pablo but other than using the lyric “Father, I stretch my hands”, I don’t see it, mostly because the 2016 effort doesn’t actually have much relation to Christianity outside of the beautiful gospel choir harmonising with Caroline Shaw on the bridge of that single. In fact, that song does a better job at flipping Christian rap on its head – it’s a two-part trap banger featuring verses from Desiigner and lines about... bleached posteriors. This song on the other hand is only one minute and 44 seconds, with one badly-mixed and distorted verse from Kanye that is as repetitive as the mind-numbing recurring “Yeah” vocal sample and prone to making me roll my eyes with its one verse and the... outro of sorts. But since this beat is so minimalistic, surely he wants us to hear what he’s saying, right? Well, no, probably not, because not only is his “wordplay”(?) and half-rhymes embarrassing, but I have so many questions to raise to this drum pattern. I want to interview the 808 and the kick drum and ask what the heck they think they’re doing.

People really know you, push your buttons like type-write

That’s not a sentence. “Like type-write”? Excuse my brief, unsubtle blasphemy, but Jesus.

Every single night, right? Every single fight, right?

The ‘i’-based rhyme scheme here is cool in concept and he finds his way around it pretty well, in a fast-paced rap flow that I actually really like, but it reeks of laziness, especially since not only does he completely abandon the rhyme scheme 55 seconds in but – yes, I counted – his verse is 69 seconds, that’s one minute and nine seconds. To put into perspective, Rick Ross’ verse on “Devil in a New Dress” off of Kanye’s 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one minute and 28 seconds, only twenty seconds longer than this one, and it includes ten times as much clever wordplay, story-telling, interesting flow switches and bars that are really epic, making the song feel really celebratory of sorts actually – and that’s without the epic guitar solo that precedes it. What a fantastic song. On the other hand, this song is substance-less and Kanye says very little of anything despite how much he crams into every bar in the rapid yet sometimes pretty awkward flow. What he’s supposed to be discussing is his situation with his father and how when he was yelling at him and having a massive argument and fall-out, Ray West told him, it wasn’t Christ-like, leading to a revelation and possibly becoming the catalyst for the already-kickstarted Christian rebirth. Surely, his dad and God are the two most important men in his life, right? Then why does this feel passionless and boring? Why doesn’t this feel genuine? Fellow Christian rapper NF, a white rapper who makes bland piano-lead pop-rap with sung hooks, would call this flavourless, dull and more importantly, grey. It doesn’t feel blue and gold like he wants it to as he uses the colours to imply royalty, luxury and loyalty to God on the album cover and lyric video. This doesn’t show loyalty. You made this in five minutes, Kanye. You made this on a whim because you had an idea and you ran with it but you had no idea on how to actually develop it into something interesting or even listenable. What part of this shows royalty, luxury and a rich, graceful connection with God? This sounds cheap and gross, and frankly incredibly disappointing from such a talented artist. I haven’t even gotten onto the rest of the song, man, and I don’t even want to. “Decimal” doesn’t rhyme with “wrestle”, Kanye. “Wrestlin’ with God, I don’t even want to wrestle”? That’s the deepest you want to go into your confusion and conflict between Christianity and fame? That’s pathetic, as is the random screaming at the end of this track for quirky or emotive bonus points. There’s nothing lifelike or Christ-like about your lifestyle, Kanye West. Get some help.

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 – “Nice to Meet Ya” – Niall Horan

Produced by Julian Bunetta – Peaked at #9 in Ireland and #83 in the US

Sorry to any of the Niall Horan fans who crashed his website when this single was announced, but I have considerably less to say about the rest of these new arrivals than I do about Kanye West and/or Jesus Christ. I have to talk about them regardless of if I have anything I can actually add, and this one is one I’ve actually already heard since I watched the MTV EMAs and he performed it. I thought nothing of it initially, but this is the Irishman from One Direction’s comeback single after his debut studio album Flicker. This is Horan’s third UK Top 40 hit and first since 2017’s “Too Much to Ask” which peaked at #24, and I did not expect this shift to late 90s and early 2000s dance-rock, but I am definitely not complaining. It starts with a catchy piano line that’s pretty Robbie Williams-esque, then the drop comes in and it is killer. The sleek synths decorating the rock drums in a lot of slickness that you wouldn’t expect out of such a meek stage presence add to the chorus pretty well, but the best part of that chorus is the distant pitch-shifted vocal sample yelling in the background, making it feel even more industrial which again is out of character for Niall, the quiet, shy folk boy, but he definitely has the charisma to pull off this type of swaggering, stomping pop rock anthem, and he proves that in the sing-along bridge, where even his murmuring hums stand out, and while he’s drowned out by the cool bassline and drum pattern most of the time, his vocal delivery really is the highlight of the song, even if that is equally vintage and in a way, pretty nostalgic for the era it replicates. Funnily enough, it has the same lack of care for organised structure that “Lights Up” by Harry Styles had just two weeks ago, but the careless, reckless groove of this song works a lot more in Horan’s favour than Styles’. Just saying.

#27 – “Orphans” – Coldplay

Produced by Rik Simpson, Dan Green, Bill Rahko, Max Martin, Angel Lopez and Federico Vindver – Peaked at #14 in Scotland

Coldplay, with their most recent upcoming album Everyday Life, are getting pretty experimental. It’s an hour-long double-album kept a secret until a month before it is set to release featuring a track list full of songs that have odd stylisations like “BrokEn” and share song names with Arabic poems. “Arabesque”, the B-side to “Orphans”, is a storm of nu-jazz trumpets with a Fela Kuti-inspired breakdown and uncredited guest vocals from Stromae, as well as profanity, which is a first for the band. I’m not surprised at all that one didn’t kick off but we are instead left with their 24th UK Top 40 hit and first since “Something Just Like This” with the Chainsmokers peaked at #2 in 2017, “Orphans”, which is a lot tamer of a track to say the least. That doesn’t mean it’s any worse though. It starts with a kids’ choir singing before we get into a tropical rock jam with a funky bassline that I wouldn’t be surprised if Flea wrote, it’s that tight. Chris Martin sounds as focused on Christianity as he did on the Avicii album earlier this year, directly name-dropping Heaven in the first verse, and then joining in with the nonsense words that the vocal samples had been repeating prior to the verse. The chorus is pretty reminiscent of arena rock, specifically “Paradise” I feel as it has that same nasal falsetto but in a lot more palatable fashion, mostly because this actually has groove and you know, a pulse. Yeah, this is pretty great, and I love the bridge of purely the mythical guitar and Chris Martin’s ethereal vocals. Something I didn’t notice on initial listen is how that the song is about a girl, Rosaleem, during the Damascus bombing in Syria from last year (That’s what the nonsense words and sound effects are all about), who is greeted by angels who talk to her about what Heaven will be like, which is “almond and peach trees in bloom” but also a place for her dad to get drunk and talk with his friends so he can feel young again. That’s actually pretty deep subject matter, and together with Niall Horan, I’m glad we can have some fantastic rock on the charts again. “Arabesque” is the better of the two Coldplay songs though.

#26 – “Look at Her Now” – Selena Gomez

Produced by Ian Kirkpatrick – Peaked at #7 in Slovakia and #27 in the US

Man, those last two songs were so powerful and organic, I almost want some disposable garbage to review next. It’ll just be easier. Oh, we have two Selena Gomez songs and a new AJ Tracey single to cover? Perfect, that’s just what I asked for! Yeah, this is Selena Gomez’s 14th UK Top 40 hit and it is awful, but not even close to as offensively bad “Closed on Sunday” or “Follow God” are. It’s just a mistake on all fronts. The passionless vocal samples drowned out in the background that peters out by the verse and the nothingness of the synths and a glitchy beat that abruptly kicks itself out of the mix every other second, as well as Selena Gomez’s weak, whispery vocals don’t exactly scream “passionate, boasting kiss-off” to me. The chorus is absolutely PATHETIC, if it even exists at all – I mean, it’s just a bunch of different sound effects Selena Gomez made pretty much, with her rhythmically humming as if that’s an excuse for an actual chorus with some unintelligible, stuttering and sometimes whispered repetitions of the song title as well as several “W-w-w-w-wow”s that add very little to the song and seem pretty pointless. This is mixed well for the most part, despite the synths clipping at times and Selena’s vocoder-ed ad-libs in the second chorus being way louder than anything else in the mix, but I have no idea what the composers of this song were thinking. What a trainwreck. It almost sounds like glitch-pop to be honest, it’s chaos, and if it were marketed as that maybe I’d appreciate it more, but if this is supposed to be a genuine brag to Justin Bieber asking him to see what he’s missing, he might as well have dated a robot. I think a RateYourMusic user summed it up best: “This is so monumentally mediocre that it barely even exists.”

#22 – “Floss” – AJ Tracey featuring MoStack and Not3s

Produced by The Elements and AJ Tracey

AJ Tracey is a British rapper who had his break out this year and he released his self-titled debut studio album back in February, but it now has a deluxe edition, with five extra songs, this being one of them. I wasn’t exactly impressed with the album as it’s mostly pretty bland Americanised trap fluff with only some promising elements of dancehall (“Butterflies” with Not3s and remixed by Popcaan), grime (“Horror Flick”) and UK garage (“Ladbroke Grove”, one of my favourite songs of the year) propping up whenever AJ sees fit, but it’s 48 minutes so these moments can’t carry the whole track listing. Lucky for us, he’s increased that runtime to just over an hour and included a couple more boring trap songs to listen to. Joy. This is AJ’s seventh UK Top 40 hit, MoStack’s eighth and Not3’s sixth. This song relies on a pretty sweet falsetto vocal sample under a surprisingly energetic trap beat, with some pretty nice steel pans and cowbells in addition to the skittering hi-hats and 808s. AJ Tracey is pretty okay here, but I feel with these lyrics and beat he could have gone for a faster and more impressive flow than what he brings out here. I’m still in love with his “bling-blaow” ad-lib though. MoStack is embarrassing as always, with an oddly-mixed verse and sometimes off-beat flow, with the most obvious difference between him and AJ being that there aren’t any ad-libs or multi-tracked vocals, which is mostly the same with Not3s’ non-existent and actually pretty unnecessary bridge (He should have just added to the final chorus, though his last few bars sound nice). Mo does have a pretty funny line about how you wouldn’t be able to notice him on CCTV and would confuse him with Dave though. This is better than I expected, but still nothing of interest to me. Sorry.

#3 – “Lose You to Love Me” – Selena Gomez

Produced by Mattman & Robin and FINNEAS – Peaked at #1 in the US

Now, much like Coldplay, Selena Gomez also released two lead singles, however both charted and they are drastically different to Coldplay’s, quality-wise at least. This is supposed to be the big massive smash ballad hit that hit #1 in the US, becoming her first ever song to reach that peak, but I can’t bring myself to care, because honestly, this is one of her least interesting singles she’s ever released. Out of all of her songs, including some I actually like such as “It Ain’t Me” and “Same Old Love”, this seems like one of the most unlikely #1s yet it tugs at our heartstrings with the pianos from FINNEAS, Billie Eilish’s brother and producer, and it’s about how Justin Bieber dumped her with wordplay revolving around “purpose” – wow, it’s almost like she’s talking about Justin Bieber’s ALBUM, Purpose! Ugh, her mind! Okay, I’ll stop mocking her fanbase and the general public, because this really isn’t a bad song. Selena Gomez can’t sing, so through thinly-veiled Auto-Tune, the producers cleverly multi-track her vocals to create a grand, powerhouse chorus out of the repetition of “To love, to love, yeah” and because it’s a pop ballad, the vocals can be breathy and untrained and it’s fine, right? It’s a ballad, it doesn’t need to be perfect, and hence we can take advantage of the complete lack of singing talent this person has. I don’t know, it just seems so cliché and predictable to me. You can only tell it’s a FINNEAS beat once the second verse hits and the synths get jerkier with the bass wobbles, and he usually has a pretty signature sound, so yeah, that’s the best way to put it. Or, perhaps, this song is also so monumentally mediocre that it barely even exists.

Conclusion

Again, I’m sorry this is out so late but it was a big ordeal to write, especially due to all the Kanye songs. I’ll try and get the next one out a lot sooner, I assure you, but there’s an album bomb this week too, so we’ll see about that. Anyways, the Best of the Week is going to Coldplay for “Orphans”, who just barely edged out Niall Horan, who gets the Honourable Mention, with “Nice to Meet Ya”. Worst of the Week should be obvious, in fact, it’s not going to a song, it’s going to three songs, all by Kanye West. “Saleh” isn’t all that bad, but JESUS IS KING was such an immense disappointment that I think he should be crowned Worst of the Week based on not only “Closed on Sunday” or God forbid “Follow God”, but also on principle alone. The Dishonourable Mention is going to Selena Gomez for “Look at Her Now” for being hilariously misguided in the production area, Jesus. I’m going to wrap this week up with a Top 40 ranking of the whole chart on Twitter, which I’ll try to do bi-weekly, no guarantee, so follow me there @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and shoddy attempts at humour, and I’ll be seeing you here again next week. Peace!

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