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elvisabutler · 2 years

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pregnancy angst with priscilla reader?

oh anon. you know not what you asked for. but sure why not let's balance out my fluffy vampire pregnancy thing with this. but also i can write multiple variations of this. pregnancy angst, secretly the source of all my power. BUT. tw: babies, pregnancy talk, breastfeeding talk, jealousy, the normal bs that comes from anyone saying priscilla and reader in an ask to me (so character bleed, age difference, daddy kink). brief mention of the consideration of abortion. you blink and you'll miss it.

suddenly we're writing out the same old lie

so consider our options. we have four by the way. one is that you know, you're never pregnant, think you are but you aren't and that's tragic in it's own way. we've already talked about that before. and then we have the one where you hide it until you really can't and your mom is just shaking her head and telling you that you've really got to tell him. and you do and it's- it ends alright.

then there's options three and four. three is you are and you never tell him until he finds out himself, four is that you end up getting pregnant by someone else while on the break.

consider! in option three, we shift the timeline a little because maybe you and austin stay in australia a little longer just in case baz needs to do reshoots and honestly you're not feeling like dealing with the bullshit that comes with trying to get back into the country and covid tests and just- it's better to stay a little longer. so you stay until you leave austin. and you're pregnant but you don't find this out until you're home and this is not happening. you- you don't want to get rid of it because you're selfish and priscilla has lisa marie to remember elvis by, maybe you want a baby to remember austin by. with his blond hair and your eyes and- you keep it but you can't go on the tour. you cannot under any circumstances go on the press tour in person. maybe for an oscar consideration run but a press tour? no. you'll- he'll see your bump and he'll try and get back together with you.

"i wanted kids but nessa and i- we were waiting. i had to get my career going and she wanted to wait until she was 30 to be married. it made sense." "what if we're not together." "my mom and dad divorced, but we made it work. i'll always be there for you and them. but you're never gonna have to worry about that, dove. never leaving remember?"

so you have to get out of your contract and baz helps- he hates it- but he helps because you're a great girl and you're still going to do some press, just via zoom. it's fine. and yes, yes he'll lie for you to austin. everyone will. but you don't go on the press tour, you end up doing interviews via zoom, everything is above the waist and people ask what's wrong and it's always, "had some personal business to take care of. sickness, you know how it is. warner bros were really understanding."

austin has an idea that something is up, your breasts look fuller on camera and so does your face. honestly he thinks of ashley pregnant with jupiter when he sees you glowing. he doesn't call though. he wants to, but he'll let you talk if you want. because he's so aware of how messed up your relationship was to certain degrees.

you text him when you see him at the met dressed in all black with your daughter using your bladder as a trampoline. you shoot him a text. "i know you still have the red ascot, you should wear it next time you wear that." he calls you twice and sends a text. you call him back.

"why aren't you here?" you almost tell him then as your daughter does a somersault and kicks your ribs, causing you to let out a curse and an hissed ow. and then a picture of him and kaia at the met flashes on the screen. "you know how you got sick, daddy? how elvis wore you down? it happened to me too. i got sick. i had to go." it's a lie and yet it's not. you should have called him by his name but- if she never gets to know him. never gets to shriek daddy while launching herself into his arms well at least he'll have been called it once.

consider it's oscar night. consider it's been two months since you've had her, not quite to the day. you don't want to leave her but you've been doing the press for austin and the film- your nomination was a lost cause, baz says and he sounds honestly quite sad about it. for at least a month in outfits that catherine sends and alters for you. and he wins. you all win actually through a stroke of luck and he's still shaking from his own win "couldn't have done this without my little dove." so you grab his hand and squeeze. he stops shaking and can actually speak again.

you find him in the corner of the oscar party- whichever one you go to and everyone's getting a little drunk and he notices you're not but doesn't ask because he's the corner nursing a whiskey and he sees you and looks nearly as rough as you feel because your boobs are rock hard and you know you've probably leaked through another pad and you talk. "you okay, daddy?" not austin. not satnin. not butler. just daddy.

"no, what did i do, little dove? hm? was it the ring? the onesie? you never talked to me. you promised you'd tell me if it got bad, i told you i wouldn't leave you." he meant it. he doesn't leave his people. even with bits of elvis still sticking in his soul the part of him that's austin and always will be values his people so much he'll keep them close forever.

"no. it wasn't that. either of them. it took me a bit to get the onesie but i got it, it was the scare and it was cute. the ring was- something else though, aus, i- were you really going to give me that?" you're massaging at your chest praying it doesn't give you a wet spot and that he doesn't notice. "no, it was probably when my daddy called me cilla twice before realizing it was me when i called him in the hospital. i never have stopped wanting to be your little dove. i just didn't want to be your little birdie too."

and then the argument that isn't really an argument and is just you two almost talking in circles, trying to untangle the web you've weaved.

"why didn't you tell me, i didn't remember saying it." he's huffing because you've been holding that against him and he's missed you so much for what. for a misunderstanding while he was drugged out of his mind? "what happened that made you miss the tour? they wouldn't- you were sick, you said you were sick i thought i did that to you. or that you lied and it was because of me, that you were scared to be around me."

"austin- no. that. i mean it was kind of because of you but it's not that-" and your phone is ringing because your sitter is texting you and austin can see your lock screen and it's a picture of the two of you on a couch on set, legs intertwined and your nose nuzzling his. but your home screen is a baby. a little blond baby girl no more than two months old.

"is that- y/n, are you goddamn kidding me?" he's livid and in that moment he swears every fiber of his being has him turning into elvis throwing a temper tantrum because because his focus narrows to you and the phone. "is she- is my name on the birth certificate?"

"she's not-" "don't even finish that sentence. when did you start lying to me, little dove?" the last bit is a sneer and it's the last time he calls you little dove for a long while.

"about the time i realized that you didn't love me, you loved an idea, butler." it's said in the same sneer because how dare he judge you. your in your early twenties and you never claimed to be perfect. you head out to leave and wave off baz and priscilla and everyone as austin follows you. the cameras are flashing and normally you care so much but right now you just want to get home to lori. he follows you, grabbing at your wrist once you're outside.

"a baby. you hid our baby from me. did you lose my number? i know you didn't- why didn't you call me? you knew-" "did i though? you had lily rose and olivia and kaia and i'm supposed to think, yeah, austin butler who i think is more in love with my priscilla presley wants our baby. yeah. i'm not- fuck- austin i'm almost a decade younger than you. whatever you think i know, i don't. and you know that." "so you were never going-" "i panicked, austin."

the car comes and he follows you in like it's normal and like you're not going to have to do damage control tomorrow. you should kick him out, but you don't. his jaw is tense and he's leaning against the window. "can i see her?"

"you're already in my car, butler. sure."

and he just takes that as the opprotunity to launch into twenty questions. "when did you have her? what did you say to yourself to justify not telling me about her? what's her name? did you-"

you're trying not to cry because your emotions have mostly settled but hearing him spit out questions so angrily reminds you of why you thought it was a good idea to hide this from him in the first place. you remember your labor and how you begged to not have a c-section and you managed to do it but they took her away for a minute because she wasn't crying quite right. "on elvis' birthday. i'm still very angry about that. it none of your business what i said to myself and- loretta. but i honestly call her lori."

the noise that comes from austin sounds like a sob but really just a pained groan. "my- y/n, you- how dare-"

"she's not- she's more priscilla's kid than mine, it didn't matter what i named her. and cilla once thought of naming lisa something with lynn in it but i hate lynn and only think of loretta lynn. but loretta sounded pretty" you whisper trying to head off him getting even angrier.

austin doesn't speak for the next 10 minutes until he grabs your hand. "i'm her father. if nothing else, i'm her father."

"that's the only thing i've ever been sure of." you say back with a squeeze as you both leave the car to go see her. the babysitter looks at you both with wide eyes before just shaking her head. this is none of her business, maybe you will tell her later.

she's crying and it's not because she's hungry or anything else, but when austin takes her from the bassinet attached to her pack and play she instantly calms. and that's what makes you ask him to just- see how you two can make this work before you get any lawyers involved. that you messed up but so did he and- just one shot, butler, please.

he calms down eventually, probably about a few months on when lori is in his arms after burping directly in his face after feeding from your chest. he laughs and holds her close while pointing at you. "learned that from your mommy didn't you, little lori. learned that from the prettiest little dove. rudest, but prettiest."

it makes you stop what you're doing and just stare before you sniffle. "don't call me that if you don't mean it, daddy." daddy because if he means it you'll go right back there right now.

"come here little dove. wouldn't say it again if i didn't."

he meant it. and maybe you cry while lori just plays with your hair happy to be in her father's arms and happy that maybe mommy will be happier too. you find a couple's therapist to go with your own that you finally got after you had an extra set of hands in the form of austin on a very long filming break. maybe you move to cannes. maybe you don't. but you fix things slowly but surely.

#austin butler x priscilla actress reader #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler headcanons #we did not plan this i swear.#it just so happened i had an anon and so did she.#gonna go heal myself with fluff.#also other anons i see you and might try those tomorrow. because amusement parks are cute and i'll even be actually short about it lmao #ally writes

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bloomingsalma · 1 month

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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in

#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over #to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w #sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me #she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word #to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school #which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots #and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space #I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for #then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc #I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how #she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary #I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side #or defend me + my privacy #for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend #group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day #and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said #the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother #(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call #it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair #but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing #salmaspeaks

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luyo-mi · 2 years

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Cleaned up his design a bit

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caluupin · 4 days

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neuvi is meeting his peepaw rn

#genshin impact #caluutalks #4.6 spoilers #genshin spoilers #so...... arlecchino's story huh...#god she's so cool and complex and interesting and I LOVE HER STORY QUEST #def one of (if not) the best atm. her bossfight is so cool. I'll ramble more abt her later when i post art of her (i swear im finishing it)#back to scylla n neuvi #so. yeah. we got confirmation that scylla's the prev hydro dragon. ain't that cool. [refer to edit at the bottom]#also i read on the hoyo web prior to 4.6 that he's gonna function as our remurian taxi and i was vv excited for scylla every since #bc it tickles me SO MUCH that the previous hydro dragon that we're gonna meet soon IS GOING TO BE OUR PERSONAL TAXI #also like at the end of the quest we're buddy buddy with him and calling him big guy. I fucking love that. we besties fr #plus scylla did say that he plans to meet neuvillette sometime after the events of the quest so..#so I might be drawing that too for funsies.#anw i'll be doing exploration and later finish the arlecchino art. cya my dear fellows!#edit: apparently I misread and it seems like scylla isn't the prev hydro dragon?? and that he's a powerful vishap (smth of the sort).#either way I'm still probs gonna draw the idea of neuvi and scylla meeting but ig somethings will change.#either way. sorry for the confusion folks.

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dailykillermoth · 1 year

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the Official winner of the Ultimate D-List Villain Tournament™ is...

KILLER MOTH !!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

#first. no we are not biased on killermoth.com no one saw this coming i swear.#second. this man has never won anything in his entire life let him have this.#AND THIRD. i SWEAR i did not plan this but him winning on april fools is some sorta cruel fate..#d list tournament #ty for sticking this one out yall it was fun even if it May have been predictable gfjfdhf #firefly vs polka dot man will forever be iconic to me #im gonna shut up in these tags now & just make a follow up post in a bit ok byee #btw sorry this is late i just woke up 👍

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unnerving-presence · 11 months

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anybody else kinda scared in the re5r they’re gonna make wesker angry as fuck the whole time with little to no actual character besides being angry plus sometimes a cocky asshole

#please he is so much more than that do him some justice #we see a tiny glimpse of that in re4r and i rlly hope they don’t make him just irrationally angry at literally everything ever #like he is a fucking asshole but he’s also super intelligent and very capable of fighting do not make his character revolve around anger #in many of the games he is very calm !!#he’s really only pissed as fuck when his plans are getting fucked #he’s getting fucked up #or someone he hates/finds a challenge actually overpowering him #because he is.. you guessed it! a cocky asshole who doesn’t like it when people are better than him #i could go on a bit rant about wesker’s confusing ass character but i swear he is not angry all the time he is quite the opposite #re5 should not be the staple for wesker’s personality because they did him dirty in that game

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juniperhillpatient · 6 months

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new chapter of 'in search of glorious happenings of happenstance' :)

When Azula & Katara break up, the rest of the friend group is exhausted by their constant dramatics & frustrating antics. Zuko introduces his ferret to Jet's dog with disastrous consequences. Suki concocts a scheme involving a children's pizzeria & arcade, a robot, drugs, & Smellberbee & Longshot's catfishing skills.

#i really hope this chapter is still fun to people who don't like sunny fnaf or saw because the references are HEAVY #but like. man. i had SO much fun writing this one fr #i really wanted to do mac & dennis breakup justice that's one of my fave episodes of any show ever #i thought SO hard about how to make it work lmao #also can y'all believe me & theo are having another twins moment???? both our versions of druk causing mayhem?? so funny #we did not plan this i swear #anyway this chapter has everything. hallucinogens. manic breakdowns. evil robot sex. smoking weed in a ball pit #like. i'm sorry i'm really happy with this chapter. ok anyway ENJOY #shameless self promo

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randomnameless · 26 days

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Typing about the best wildlife scholar made me realise something -

We know Dheginsea's extremist isolationist and non-interventionist policies were motivated by his wish to stop the propagation of wars, or at least, not to create a situation where the entire continent would be engulfed in War, else Ashera would wake up and erase the population.

Which is what he ultimately believes happened - that's why we fight against him in FE10, because the plot is stupid and cannot have Yune tell him "hi! We were woken by Galdr, Ashera mistakingly believes the inverse!" before his ultimate defeat.

But thinking more about it -

The Three Heroes (tfw Lehran's not part of the gang) made a pact with the Goddesses : they had to ensure 1k years of peace else they would stone Humanity. If they wake up in 1k years and the world is in chaos, they would stone it. If not, then kumbaya.

If they wake up before those 1k years due to war, the world is stone. If they are awoken by Galdr, they should, uh, talk to each other to decide what to do.

To Dheginsea, the only person who could sing the Galdr of Release, Lehran, lost the power to do so when he lost his abilities as a Laguz : ergo, without any possibility to wake the Goddesses up with Galdr, the only way to avoid Ashera's judgment was to avoid wars for 1000 years, even if it means... well, ignoring people suffering and letting them die at your doorstep.

So, Dheginsea, if he revealed the truth about Lehran, would have started a war against Beorcs (there's no way Laguz who know the truth will accept the status quo that if they live too closely with Beorcs they die), and without Galdr : Ashera wakes up "with war" and stones everyone.

If he intervened like Lehran wanted, and had Goldoa stomp Begnion/Beorcs who enslaves Laguz? Ashera wakes up "with war" and stones everyone, since she can't be waken up with Galdr anymore.

Hell, if Dheginsea terminated Ashnard and Daein as he planned too after losing Rajaion and Almedha (what FE10 tells us... but can we seriously believe this when in FE9 he dgaf about the situation?), again we have the same situation : Ashera wakes up due to war and stones everyone.

The only reason why the cast "won" and Tellius isn't stoned anymore is because unbestknown to Lehran, Dheginsea and well, everyone in Tellius, Lehran's branded descendants (who conveniently weren't all wiped out!) can actually sing the Galdr of Release and release Yune, who can circumvent the "Ashera wakes up with war and stone everyone".

-> When Lehran lost his powers and couldn't act as an alarm anymore, the only way to "wake the goddesses before 1k years happen" is with war and their judgment would be to kill everyone.

So Dheginsea had to grit his teeth and accept every fucked up thing that happened in Tellius because Lehran - due to this world's crappy mechanics - cannot "wake up the Goddesses" earlier and ask them to withold their judgment : if there is a war they will kill everyone - they must endure for 1k years, else Tellius is doomed.

Tl;Dr : TFW "make love not war" backfired in Lehran's case, and completely fucked up the covenant they had with the goddesses and if Miccy chocked on a pretzel, Lehran's love for Altina (aka him losing his powers) would have led to Tellius being wiped out even without his own participation.

#Tellius stuff #tfw the events of the game are triggered by the crappy universe mechanics #imagine their despair when Lehran loses his ability to sing the Galdr #'oh crap you were the only one able to sing to wake them up without the massive stoning what should we do?'#hopefully his branded descendants magically inherited the lyrics and tune but #can this also explain Lehran's despair that led him to agree to the massive stoning? idk #idk how much of a hand Lehran had in the entire Daein debacle #Goldoa being moved in the war Ashnard was trying to create fit with his plans #but it also implied he sacrificed his friend's children to have him 'react' and join the war meant to kill everyone?#or he knew Dheginsea and his kids would escape Ashera's judgment? idk #Dheginsea 'we only have to wait 200 years before they wake up we can do it'#Almedha 'dad i'm going to explore the world and fuck a beorc what could even happen?'#Lekain 'damn those subhumans what if I genocide a few of them for funsies? That'll make that subhuman blooded apostle mad lol'#'or maybe i can kill her too and rule over begnion for the lols?'#and then izuka graduated #those were the last 200 meters and they fucked the last lap #FE10 #this verse I swear #how much Lehran's despair was fueled by his inability to keep his promise to the goddesses?#and how did the 'great news' affected his allies and the world?

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did #bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried #another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one #machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem #god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8 #and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration #ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a #personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up #bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like #yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine #ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought #my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home #god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great #i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc #thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days #and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst #move. bc again. im barely a functional person #god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive #down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno #unrelated

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moinsbienquekaworu · 11 months

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It's 2pm, my city's pride parade starts at 2pm in a part of town that's like 20 minutes away in public transportation, my best friend said we would go together but they made other plans for this afternoon so I'm going alone, and it's raining. Do I even bother.

#i swear i love them they're great but it's always 50/50 on if they'll actually be available with no issues or not #we made those plans months ago!!!!!!! MONTHS!!#and yesterday they go oh btw uh i'm hanging out with x i'm not available #like holy shit. holy shit!! did we or did we not make plans a while back to go together!!!#i'm sorry last time it was the same friend who needed medical help and they just didn't show at our meetup #but hey. someone needed to go to the hospital i think? so like. it's impossible to plan for and really urgent #but this time!! like please come on if you're not going to write down when you have plans what's the point of making plans!!!!#deep breath.#AND IT'S RAINING!!! THE WEATHER IS SHIT AND I DONLT HAVE ANYONE TO GO WITH!!!!!#that's really unfair cause i've been hypee for this for a while and i don't even feel motivated #like. if i'm going to be sopping wet and alone what's the point #i can just eat the candy & biscuits i bought for this at home where it's warm & dry #& i'm not alone in a crowd of people in groups #wow i have a ramble tag now

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orcelito · 10 months

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Brain is rotating between depressing but bittersweet post-trimax one-shot, current wip chapter of itnl, playful horny Sentido sequel one-shot, and violent bloody itnl times to be had sooner than you think

Like the barrel of a gun. Click click click click spinning round and round. Which one am I gonna land on? Only time will tell.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #i did start writing chapter 14 today. finally.#like barely but it's a start.#but ive also been thinking about the post-trimax oneshot i wrote the intro for a month ago & havent written any since #but ALSO im thinking about smut. which i plan to write itnl side stories when that shit comes up #but it's gonna Be A While & i could theoretically do the sentido sequel oneshot WHENEVER i want #ive been waiting for ww to officially be in itnl so hes alive again. b4 i go back to sentido.#but i still have a while and i wanna write smut NOW!!!!!!!!#these 2 make me wanna start Chewing i swear #i also started thinking about blood. specifically vash covered in it.#which yeaaa yeaaa we have seen that already. kind of. but thats not the blood i want to see on him.#there's a difference between his blood and someone else's blood. his blood on him is natural. common. expected.#he's fine with it bc he's so fucking used to it.#now someone Else's blood? that's not as common. he avoids it at all cost. not bc of the blood itself #but rather its existence signifies his failure. to keep someone safe. to keep someone alive.#for him to be covered in someone else's blood he has to fail quite badly. and Boy do i have some immanent plans for that >:3c #all in all i am feeling Profoundly unhinged tonight. but in a creative sort of way.#unfortunately i dont have a brain for writing rn so none of it is being done. but i will do Something... later.#hopefully tomorrow. we'll see!

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arielmagicesi · 10 months

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ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally

ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.

(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)

so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool

#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key #which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well #and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit #and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real #but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students #she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this #still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh #It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually #ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned #at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher #i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more #written by me

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