#we need to get the fuck out of here like yesterday

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Thinking about Actress!Reader who finally got to change into a pair of shorts and a crop top after being in a corset and long dresses all day after shooting was done for the day.

Actress!Reader who gets invited to go get Gelato with Peter to help cool off after being stuck in such stuffy clothes for the past six hours.

Bodyguard!Miguel who had to suppress a scowl when you told him that you were basically going on a date with your fellow actor. But that didn’t deter him from volunteering to watch over you both when you went to walk through the streets of Rome. He’d rather be the one watching over you than Peter’s bodyguard.

Actress!Reader and Actor!Peter who didn't notice when a group of passersby recognized them, snapping a few pictures of you both without your knowledge. You weren’t completely used to the whole “having photos taken of you without your permission or contact” but that was unfortunately a price to pay when you’re new and on the rise.

Actress!Reader who finally went home to relax, getting a good night's rest now that the jet lag has finally stopped.

Actress!Reader who wakes up the next morning with 24 missed calls, 35 new messages and her name trending on twitter.

—

Jake (Manager): (Y/N).

Jake(Manger): (Y/N), call me when you wake up.

Peter 🐝.: Did you look at Twitter yet?

Peter🐝.: Or like any social media yet?

Bestie💝: Girl…

Bestie💝: You’ve got some explaining to do.

“What’s… happening?” You mumbled as you scrolled through your new messages as you waddled into the kitchen of your hotel suite, where Miguel was already drinking his cup of coffee. Glancing up at him for a moment as he greeted you.

“Morning.” He mumbled as he placed his mug down. “Your manager told me to have you call him when you're up.”

“Do you know why?” You asked him as you scrolled to Jake’s contact info, receiving a grunt in response, a no.

“(Y/N) (L/N), would you like to explain what went on yesterday after you finished up on set?” You felt like you were five years old and being scolded by your mom all over again, except you genuinely didn’t know what you did.

“Um, I went to go get a snack with Peter. Why-“

“A snack.” He repeated, his tone questioning despite it being deadpan.

“Yes, a snack.” You huffed, your confusion turning into irritation as your brows furrowed together. “Why? can't I have a snack after work with my coworker?”

“You can have a snack after work, but from what I’m looking at here it doesn’t seem like it’s with a coworker.” His words make you pause.

“What?” All attitude now gone, confusion settles back in. “What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t seen the pictures yet?”

“What pictures?”

“Oh dear God…” Jake mumbled under his breath, before letting out a sigh. “Go on twitter, and check the trending tab.”

You put him on speaker and did what you were told, waiting for the little bird app to load, before clicking on the explore tab. Eyes widening as you read out the headline at top.

“Peter B. Parker and (Y/N), coworkers on a new upcoming movie, spotted out on date?!?”

Miguel almost started to choke on his coffee after he heard you recite the words, having to hit his chest to clear his windpipes as you frantically started to scroll through the tag.

“No, no it wasn’t a date though Jake, it wasn’t-“ Your words died on your tongue as your finger stopped scrolling once you hit a particular picture.

A picture of Peter making you try his flavor, by spoon feeding you.

Fuck how can I be so dumb? How could I forget that happened? It was only 2 seconds Max. And now it’s trending.

“I need you down at set an hour early. We have some things to discuss with Peter and his team.” Jake sighed before you heard the dial tone of him hanging up the call.

Shit.

—

Part 4<

Not proofread.

Word count: 600

Taglist: @famouscattale @strawberryjuice9 @loser-alert @maomaimao @franceseca-the-1st

@mcmiracles @mangoslushcrush @queerponcho @yournextbimbogf @tinybirdhideout

@laysmt @migueloharasoulmate @fruityfucker @pigeonmama @scaryplanetdestroyer

@migueloharastruelove @krentkova19 @genny1019 @maiyart

@stressed-cherry @haveclayeveryday @miguelzslvtz @scaleniusrm @xerorizz

@enananawoah @messicampeon @anastasia1972 @lauraolar14 @huniedeux

@bluesidez @nommingonfood @chrishy973 @m4dyy @night-spectrum

@electricgg (to be added click here)

#miguel o hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara au #spiderman 2099 x reader #astv spiderman 2099 #astv miguel #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 fanfic #miguel ohara spiderman #miguel fanfic #miguel ohara x reader #miguel x reader #bodyguard!miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel ohara blurb #miguel o’hara blurb

[lizzieisright]

Moon peppers (4)

(1) (2) (3)

Palestine: what can you do

were!Abby x witch!reader

Summary: Abby runs away from her (former) pack and into your forest. You're not happy with your new (woods?)mate.

Tags: fantasy au, sloppy worldbuilding (fuck it we ball), fem!reader, alpha!abby, witch!reader (so not an omega), sentient forest, stubborn idiots in love who annoy each other.

Notes: how do I keep hating the witch after she saved my life asking for a friend

Taglist: @abbysbae @poxismind @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame @pjmispunk @herdelreydear @lmaoo-spiderman @littletinyladybugs (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Your morning is.. odd. You expected yourself to forget how to control so much magic, but instead it feels better than the last ten years you spent being weak. You really couldn't live like this: it made you feel vulnerable and helpless, and now that your power is back, you feel like yourself again.

In a way it terrifies you. Because you were a completely different person ten years ago, and now you don't want your old habits back. You don't like seeing your tattoos and runes, especially the ones on your forearms, but you try your best to make peace with it. Your tattoos have almost nothing to do with your power - they're just channels for your magic, a spellbook engraved in your skin. They were faint before yesterday, fading away as your powers grew weaker, but they were still there, and they will not disappear until you die. You have to accept it, and maybe, if you don't make stupid decisions this time, you'll change your heart about them. 

You meditate before breakfast to manage your flow of magic exactly like Caitlyn showed you, even though you expect the wolf to wake up at any moment and trash your still room. But the wolf is asleep - you can feel it through the bond, which is annoying: you don't like having your space disturbed like this. You're sure the wolf won't like it too. You concentrate on the bond between you to see how well the healing is happening and it makes you groan - fat chance it will be finished by the evening, with this pace it will take a whole damn week. The thought of spending more than a day with the wolf makes you depressed.

Abby wakes up. This fact alone shakes her to her core: she is not dead. She is supposed to be dead, what the fuck? More than that, she feels almost okay - she is not supposed to feel mostly okay, she fucking died! She knows this, because no way in hell she hallucinated having her throat ripped out. 

Then Abby opens her eyes, tries to move - and goes into survival mode. She is in a still room and she is restrained. All her paws are chained and she can't move. This is worse than death. Oh god, this is so much worse. 

Abby tugs on her chains with all her power, but they down even bulge. Abby growls and coils and tries again, but she only hits the wall with her back. Abby starts to panic: she can't stay here - the fucking witch bound her! She is in debt to the witch! She needs to leave before you come and order her to do something horrible. 

Abby tries again, but this time the door to the still room opens and Abby sees the creepy glowing eyes of yours. Abby starts to move around even more violently - she doesn't want you anywhere near her. You're one of the rare monsters of this world and she needs to either get away from you or to kill you, but she is not staying here. The moment she is free she will rip you to shreds. 

At least you look scared when you enter the room and you keep the biggest distance possible from her. Abby growls and snarls, clasping her jaws around the air, eager to kill you. 

“It's not what it looks like.” You blurt, your arm in the air as if you want to tell her you came in peace. 

Abby growls louder. 

“Listen, I'll free you if you calm the fuck down and turn into human form so we can talk.”

Abby is so angry she doesn't even consider the possibility of calming down or pretending to calm down. 

“Or I can force you to turn into a human.” You say in a shaky voice, as if you're yourself scared of this possibility. 

This actually makes Abby stop. She doesn't want you near her, so she needs to pick the least of two evils. Abby growls and starts to change, her fur disappears and her bones rearrange. The chains tighten around her human wrists and now she is sitting on your floor, glaring at you, her shirt ripped on her sides and her pants dirty.  

“Thank you. I will explain everything and then I'll free you, okay?” Abby just growls at you again. 

You swallow hard: the wolf is even scarier as a human. The woman is big and strong and her claws are out still, her arms are bulging with muscles, and the way she looks at you doesn't help you calm your nerves. Her shirt is red from blood and it only makes her look scarier. You clear your throat and start speaking.

“Yesterday I found you dead, and the woods wanted me to save you. So I did. Right now you're still in the process of healing and if you go too far away from me, the energy will stop coming and you will die. This is why I brought you here. I also knew you would want to kill me or you'd run away, so I chained you. Now, please make peace with the fact that you're stuck with me for a while and then I will release you. Good? Good.”

Abby growls, humbled. She doesn't want to make peace with it, but you do sound logical. And you're still scared of her, which is a good sign: maybe you won't have the guts to hurt her. 

“Am I blood bound to you?” Abby growls and you look offended and angry, which confuses Abby. And also amuses. 

“Fuck you.” You spit. “Not all witches are like this, you ungrateful beast. The only bound you have is the energy one that heals you. After that you're free to leave and please don't ever see me again. Jerk.”

You flick your fingers for the chains to disappear and stomp out of the still room. You knew this werewolf was an asshole, but holy fuck! 

The wolf stomps after you.

“It would not have happened if you didn't take all the moon peppers!” The woman argues and follows you to the kitchen. You turn around and stare at this ungrateful, entitled shit of a wolf. 

“First of all, as if a bunch of moon peppers would have saved you from getting your throat ripped out!” You snap back and get into her face, angry and stubborn. “Second of all, maybe if you didn't fucking attack me and talked to me instead I would have shared some of them!” You flip your arms around in frustration.

“Because witches are famous for being helpful and kind.” The wolf snarls at you and you can't believe the audacity of her. 

But she is also right. She did have all the reasons to attack you and not trust you. You calm down a bit and take a step back. 

“It's still idiotic to attack a witch. I might've not been so nice.”

“You were shitting your pants in fear.” The wolf deadpans.

“As if I wouldn’t find a way to get my revenge without a direct attack. You're exceptionally stupid.” You huff and the wolf growls. “You took my friend's den, covered it in blood and attacked me. Do you comprehend what I could have done if I wanted to? You know why witches use blood binding? Because it  makes us stronger.” You hiss sadistically into the blonde's face.

For a second there's fear in the wolf's eyes, and some part of you feel satisfied. The other part, though, feels disgusted with you. You take a breath. 

“I'm sorry. You just really pissed me off being so stubborn about your own safety.” You sigh and rub your face. 

The silence falls and you go to the kitchen to cook some breakfast for yourself and for this stupid wolf: after all, you will be stuck together and if someone will be nasty and poison the shared time, it won't be you. 

Abby blinks. She feels lost. She expected you to be some kind of creep or a sadist, even if you were afraid of her; and she knew you could've bound her - that's exactly what she thought happened. But she didn't expect you to actually be nice. Well, relatively nice: you chained her for her own good, then threatened her and now you just apologised to her, and Abby feels like a fool if she continues being mean to you. She really doesn't have any ground to mistreat you except some rumours and her awful, but limited experience. She only met one witch before. 

Well. She can play nice too. 

“I'm Abby.” Abby says grumpily, still not ready to believe you: you just threatened to bind her, for god's sake!

You hum and tell her your name as well while you cut vegetables with aggressive vigour. Abby assumes you're imagining cutting her into pieces. 

It's awkward. It is really, really awkward. You're obviously still frustrated and Abby doesn't burn with desire to talk to you either. Plus she is in your home and she definitely doesn't know where to put herself. She settles for a stool near you. Abby stares at your back and your arms silently, and then she is hit with the realisation. 

“You didn't have tattoos before.” 

You smirk sadly. 

“Yeah, well. Before that I didn't have to revive a whole werewolf.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Ask the forest. They made a deal with me.”

How calculating, Abby thinks. Also: how the fuck do you deal with a forest?

“So you still do deals.” 

“It's different.” You say sharply. “I don't blood bind.”

“I get it.” Abby huffs and backs off: a witch who doesn't like blood binding, might be a goddamn oxymoron. “So for how long am I stuck with you?”

“Three days, probably. Maybe more, depending how fast you'll heal.”

“I heal fast.”

“Don't compare your usual healing with coming back from the dead. Who knows how much of your brain died. That's why you can't be far away from me. You go away, you break the bond, your brain dies. Got it?”

Abby hums. She has never heard of anyone being able to revive someone. She thinks you know some old forbidden magic if you can bring people back, and it just doesn't match with what she sees: a scaredy cat who lives in the woods and has to spend hours fishing to get three fish. Your home is cosy and warm, with a lot of natural light and Abby doesn't understand how you could have saved her life: you’re soft and weak and live in a house suited for some kind old lady, not a witch who could bring people from the dead. How much fucking power a witch would need to even do that?

“How far is too far?” 

“If I stay here and you go beyond my shields, you're dead.”

Abby sighs, annoyed. She doesn't want to stay next to you for three days. She is somewhat grateful for being alive, but it's weird. It's very weird to be in one space with you. 

You place two plates and sit opposite of Abby. Abby looks at her plate and wants to hesitate, to think, but she is so fucking hungry she starts eating right away. 

It's not…bad. Edible. (God she will have to eat like this for three more days?)

You watch the wolf- Abby's face and can't help your smile. Unfortunately you're very familiar with the fact you can't cook - Cait and Vi tried it once and since then you don't host dinners anymore; sometimes Cait sends you back with food - but you didn't expect the wolf to be so sensitive to your food. You eat it just fine after all. 

“It's bad.” You laugh. 

“It is.” Abby agrees. “Did you do it on purpose?”

“What? No. My taste senses are just fucked up by a lot of potions.”

You see how Abby tenses and you sigh: it's strange to have your everyday life being seen as some kind of horror story. There's a lot of rumours about witches that are mostly true, but you don't think of Abby as a mindless, uncivilised beast even though she is a were, so there should be room to believe that some witches are not that bad. 

(You think of your past and feel ashamed: it's not like you were “not that bad” all your life). 

“Don't tell me you've never drunk a potion.” You try to appeal to Abby's own experience, but you know she might have a bad one. “From coughing? Pain killers? Never?”

“Are you saying witches brew them?” Abby smirks like you're ridiculous. 

“Well, yes. We sell them for money, that's how everyone gets them.” 

Abby is silent as she chews your food that you think is quite edible, actually - but she drinks her flower milk with every spoon and you take a wild guess she can't stomach it. 

“Okay, listen. Are you a good cook?”

“Yes, actually. Everyone with enhanced senses makes a good cook.” Abby says with pride and you see her blue eyes sparkle. She also has freckles. Which is kinda cute. 

“Then you can cook whatever you want and not suffer.” You offer. 

Abby frowns at you like she expects some kind of trickery. You sigh again and raise your hands in defeat. You tried. 

“Do you have any meat?”

“...No.”

“And I can't hunt.” Abby explains to you like you're stupid. You roll your eyes. 

“There's fish in the freezer. It should be fine.” 

That's how Abby spends her afternoon: cooking fish. She has to ask you for other ingredients and you send her to your still room, which makes her shiver. It's creepy - just like you are with your eyes and tattoos and potion drinking or whatever - and Abby thinks of people trapped in these still rooms and being experimented on. She is happy she doesn't see any kind of animal parts on your shelves. You're out of the house for the most part: when Abby looks out of the window, she sees you sitting on the ground, absolutely still. Weirdo. 

“At least this weirdo is harmless compared to her kin.” Abby says to herself while she cuts the fish.  

You also saved her life and didn't ask for anything in return - not counting leaving you alone after - and Abby really struggles to keep thinking of you as a monster. You don't seem half-bad. And she should make friends here, now that she doesn't have a pack. The thought of being friends with a witch actually makes Abby laugh out loud.

After lunch, which is spent mostly in silence except for your praise on Abby's cooking, you tell her you'll be in the still room and that she can find something to be busy with. You point at books and yarn. Abby rolls her eyes. 

She has absolutely nothing to do. Her instincts are going crazy as well: your home looks like it needs an alpha. You're not an omega, and you don't need Abby's help, but she feels like she'll go insane if she doesn't fix something. She fights her urges, but after an hour she gives up and sharpens your knives. It makes her feel easier and she can read in peace now. 

You come back in a few hours and sit on the opposite end of your sofa, exhausted. Abby doesn't look at you. 

“Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the village for my check ups. You'll have to come with me.”

Abby frowns. She doesn't want to show her face in the village - what if some of her former packmates are still around and will notice her? 

“Can your deals wait?” You sigh loudly, annoyed: can this wolf be nice for one fucking minute or is Abby trying to establish some kind of hierarchy in your house?

“I am a healer.” You deadpan, tired of dealing with Abby’s shit. “People need me.” 

“It's not safe for me to show up like this.” Abby scrunches her nose.

“I guess it’s connected to the fact that you were dead yesterday.” You say and Abby can only nod. “I can hide you, if you want. There's a spell that will not let people recognise you if they mean harm.”

Abby coils back. She doesn't want any fucking spells to be put on her! But in a second she clears her head and thinks about it: she clearly doesn’t have a choice if she wants to survive. And you offer her help, so maybe it’s not too bad. 

“How can I know you're not fucking with me?” You blink and Abby tries not to look you in the eyes: you look like an owl. And not in a cute way. 

“Can't you smell if I lie? I know weres can smell emotions. Also, the bond we have can make you feel awful if I try to harm you.”

Abby hums, thinking it over.

“Okay. But if you try any funny business, you're dead.”

“You'll be dead too, idiot.” You roll your eyes at Abby and she rolls hers in return. 

The wolf is kinda annoying. You can understand her distrust, but her threats are getting ridiculous. 

The last step of this strange and mostly unpleasant day is getting ready for bed. You look at your small sofa and try to think how Abby will fit, but the other option is the floor, which you assume she won't appreciate. You give her the choice anyway, Abby looks between the sofa and the floor like it's a hard choice, like she thinks the floor is a valid option. Then she agrees to sleep on the sofa. (I'll turn back if I'm uncomfortable, she tells you.) You bring her a pillow and a few blankets: the nights are getting cold and you usually use your magic to keep the hut warm, but you can slip up when you sleep, and wake up to a freezing house. 

“Why don't you use wood like normal people?” 

“It's too much work. I can find a tree that fell, but you need to chop it, bring it here, chop more, store the logs. Nah. Magic is easier.” 

Abby huffs. 

“So you rely on your magic all the time.”

“And you rely on your senses and strength.” You deadpan. 

Abby doesn't say anything in return, having no valid arguments. You sigh and make a circle with your hand, turning all lights off, and then you show Abby where the candle is in case she needs some light for her reading. Abby nods and you wish each other good night. 

You both can’t fall asleep for a long time, too bothered by each other: you don’t like having Abby in your home after she has been so nasty to you for the reason of “the witch”, and Abby doesn’t like being in your home for the reason of, well, “the witch”. She is alive, and she should be happy, but your presence is a constant threat and she can’t let herself fall asleep. You can’t fall asleep because you feel Abby, her life energy like a giant bright light in your living room and it’s hard to ignore it. You try to meditate but it seems to make you even more energised. 

You fall asleep when it’s so dark you can’t see anything beyond your windows. Abby falls asleep five minutes later.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #alpha!abby #moon peppers

[smoothies-are-cool]

all of me

part three of the bad idea series - part two

boyfriend! chris sturniolo x reader

summary: reader loses her cat and chris is with her always and then they go out on a date to distract her from the grief.

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, loss of a pet, pet names (baby, mama, sweetheart).

a/n: this song is so fucking good dude 👩‍🍳🤌💋

READERS POV

i drove to chris’ house in tears. my cat, annie had passed away. she had been my birthday present when i was 5 and i loved her unconditionally.

after i pulled into his driveway i practically ran to the door, knocking on it.

“hi ma- woah what’s wrong?” chris asks when he sees the state i’m in.

“annie passed a-away.” i hiccup, tears still falling down my cheeks.

“oh baby.” chris says, his face softening. he grabs my hand to pull me inside and he brings me down to his room. he quickly pulls me into him. my arms go around his torso and i hide my face in his chest.

after calming down i sit up. we had moved to sit on his bed so we could be more comfortable.

“i’m sorry i meant to shower before i came over here but i needed to see you.” i tell him, apologizing for my appearance.

“don’t apologize. even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too.” he comforts, pulling me back into him. my cheeks flush red, but luckily since my face was now in his neck he couldn’t tell.

2 weeks later

it’s been two weeks and i’ve been slowly feeling better. chris had been with me every step of the way. grief is always hard, even for animals.

me and chris we’re currently sitting on his bed. we were both silently scrolling on our phones, the sound of tangled playing in the background.

“mama?” he says, grabbing my attention.

“hm?” i hum, letting him know that i’m listening.

“i planned something for us later.” he tells me. i furrow my brows and turn off my phone.

“what’d you plan?” i ask, tilting my head to the side to show my confusion.

“it’s a surprise but you should be ready by 5:00.” he says, attempting to hide his smirk but he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“okay i will be.” i smiled softly.

i started getting ready at 5:00. it didn’t take too long since i had showered this morning so all i had to do was my makeup and get dressed. at 5:25 i walked out of chris’ bathroom to see him sitting on the edge of his bed.

“you ready?” i ask, putting my makeup bag on his gaming desk.

“woah, you look gorgeous.” chris compliments and i smile.

“thank you chris.” i blush.

“let’s go then, yeah?” he asks and i nod. “okay i’m gonna put the directions in your gps.”

“okay good because i don’t trust you to give directions.” i giggle softly as chris playfully looks offended.

“the beach?” i ask softly, putting my car in park.

“yeah come on.” chris said, getting out of the car. i quickly follow him and we walk down the beach.

“so i had matt, nick and madi all help me with this.” he says as we walk up to madi sitting on a blanket with snacks.

“hi madi baby. what’s happening?” i ask as madi stands up.

“someone had to sit with the blanket.” she smiles, hugging me.

“goodluck.” she whispers as she walks away. chris motions for me to sit down, as he sits down himself.

“me and matt went to the store yesterday and got all your favorites. him, nick and madi set it up earlier.” he explains, answering my questions before i could answer them.

“this is adorable. i want to cry.” i giggle softly.

“don’t cry. this is to make sure you don’t cry.” chris tells me, kissing my head.

“this is beautiful, chris. thank you.” i smile at him, grabbing the bag of watermelon sour patch kids.

“anything for you.” he says softly.

“okay so i do want to talk real quick.” chris tells me, causing me to sit up.

“i’m all ears.” i say, crossing my legs.

“i’ve liked you for a long time. like years. it feels very unreal that you’re mine.” he spoke, pausing and thinking for a second.

“not mine yet.” he corrects. i knew where he was going with this, and i already had my answer.

“okay let me get to the point. i really like you and i think you like me. so i was wondering if i could be your boyfriend?” he asks hesitantly. i knew he was nervous.

“yeah but only if it means i can be your girlfriend.” i giggle softly. he lets out a breath of relief.

“oh thank god. you have no idea how nervous i was.” he admits. i quickly pull him closer to me and kiss his lips.

“no more nervousness. come on, let’s have fun.” i tell him, standing up and running towards the water.

“wait you don’t have a bathing suit!” chris calls.

“who cares!!” i shout, running into the water and diving in once it was deep enough. when i resurface i see chris staring at me.

“you gonna join me or just stand there?” i ask, laughing. he shrugs and jumps into the water. me and chris playfully splash each other, nothing but smiles on our face.

a/n: i hope this lives up to the expectation because i know a few people wanted multiple parts. here’s the last one and i hope you love ittt 🫶🫶

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo fandom #sturniolo x reader #spotify #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo

[raeathnos]

.

#oh boy do I love walking in the door and getting yelled at 🙃 #we need to get the fuck out of here like yesterday #guess I’m staying up in my room for the rest of the night #and then they wonder why I’m fucking depressed #this is all because I said I’d come to our relatives house for Easter dinner #but I told them I was just gonna come for like 2 hours #and apparently that’s rude and I need to stay longer? #I’m sorry I have work the next day and you guys don’t leave until like 9pm half the time #and they’re going over at 1pm #I thought two hours was a good compromise but apparently not 🙃 #the thing that gets me is like instead of just telling me this #I got it screamed at me and told how incredibly rude I am #I didn’t realize stopping at a relative who wanted to see me and making a dish to bring us rude but okay #cool cool cool cool #anyways I’m like super upset because my mom and I have never gotten along and we’ve actually been doing good lately #which has been nice cause I haven’t been getting along with my dad the past few months #and like me and him have always gotten along so it’s kind of hard #he revealed he regretted having me too now and like #both parents have told me that now and it’s fucking hard especially given how I’ve been treated and continue to be treated #so like the fact that me and mom were getting along was… idk it was just #it was nice for once #so idk it makes this hurt a lot more #I’ve been made to feel like I’m a fucking burden my whole life #I was a good kid- I didn’t act out and I did what I was told and got straight As and wasn’t a picky eater #yeah I had a lot of health issues but that was out of my control #and they still treated me like I was such a burden #it’s hard it’s so fucking hard #I just want to feel loved and like I was wanted I don’t know what I ever did wrong #I’m just never going to be enough am I? #my whole life has felt like it’s been me trying to gain their approval and it just feels like they’re stringing me along most of the time

[disneydatass]

They literally cut off the power so the world wouldn’t see the genocide they are about to commit…fully backed by the US government meanwhile said government also does nothing to the people who continue to get killed by the regular mass shootings

#get me the fuck out of here #republicans want to kill us domestically and democrats want to kill us internarionally #it’s all too much #what a country #free Palestine #AMERICANS WE NEED A REVOLUTION AND OVERTHROW THE 2 PARTY SYSTEM YESTERDAY #everyone is dying and the people who aren’t upset are so blissfully ignorant it’s infuriating #anygays… #genuinely what can you do if you are in poverty yourself #it’s like bugs life we are the ants and we need to overthrow the grasshoppers #but instead of doing that America is like that one ant that didn’t go around the lead and just started shrieking when it lost the line #*internationally/leaf

[zevrans]

#haven't had energy to log into here because my work has been kicking my ass i'm spending half of my day off laying in bed #i fell asleep yesterday after my 2nd shift in my clothes with no blanket and woke up freezing at 7 am 🤧 #i layed on the bed for 5 mins just to regain strenght to do a few things before bed yedterday and got knocked out by the exhaustion 😭 #these 2 shifts were particularly hard and i think it had also to do with my coworker suggesting the dumbest thing imo #the dude wanted me to give my WHOLE november shifts to him like...WTF #he said he needed a sum of money for december and like helloo.. #what do you think i am doing here?? don't i need money?? #i'd understand if he'd ask for a shift or two but whole fucking month the sheer audacity.. #i've struggled so much mentally to ge to this point and to be able to get this job even if it's not in my professional field #and it's physically demanding very much and so many other cons #but i've got it and i was happy i got it and to think some stranger thinks #he's more entitled to it than someone else like ??? it's just bizzare to me #he seemed such a chill person before he asked this #and i've spent last 2 work days feeling guilty for protecting my boundaries... #but everybody around me says i did the right thing so i am trying to not stress about it anymore #and i was afraid this would ruin the good work relationship i thought we established but idk anymore #i will be very cautious about him now #tbd

[billygoat26]

Just waiting to see if my mom breaks another promise :D

#vent in the tags #Context: last weekend we went to the mall and- not realizing how late it was- had planned on going to Emerald City to look at comics #but since we would have gotten there when it closes she promised that we would go next weekend #well since “next weekend” is here I'm just waiting #But chances are she forgot #or she's gonna use my “needing to do schoolwork” as an excuse to not go #I'm just tired of everything relying on grades and school work #Oh yeah- we had MPA yesterday #and she kept asking if she should go #I kept saying that she can go if she wants #and then she asked if I wanted her to go #I wasn't able to be on my phone when she asked that #And she took my not answering as me not wanting her to go #Istfg I actually cried when I saw that message because it was my first MPA performance and I had already fucked up enough that night #and I needed her to be there (my dad was sick and couldn't go) #I hate when parents just assume shit #like- don't assume that bribing me with fucking money is gonna do shit for me. I DON'T CARE about money #I don't care about school #I hate the IB program but she won't let me drop out of it so I've been trying to fail myself out of it but goooood forbid I do that #weekends are supposed to be when we get a break from working and shit like that #but the past like- 4 weekends haven't been weekends #I never get a fucking break #and all this may seem like pathetic whining and bullshit but I swear I'm just tired of it all

[lovelaceisntdead]

Oh. having a bad time.

#I've been holding it together all day but suddenly everything is really getting to me #so sick of feeling like this. i want to be able to have a nice time and enjoy myself but i can't walk around for more than half an hour #without feeling so exhausted #and i saw my brother today and i was really trying not to let it get to me seeing him doing so well #and I'm really happy he's doing well it's not that i just get so jealous that he's able to do all the things he can #i thought I'd been doing well the last couple of weeks bit maybe i was just repressing because now i cant fucking breathe #and i miss the cats so much i know it's been literally a day but I'm so used to having them there all the time #i am so tired. i want to sleep. but I'm so sad #I'm so anxious and i feel like I'm being short with everyone and it's making everything really tense #i don't know what to do. #I've been looking forward to this week for ages and i knew it would have an impact on me but i didn't think I'd feel this bad #I'm just really upset i don't what the point of this is but i just need to get this out because i feel like imgoing to explode #i think I've been feeling triggered since yesterday but not purging it so my body has just been feeling it and then its all spilked over #i know it started in the car because the roads we took to get here are the ones i used to take for my hospital appointments

[brookheimer]

#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours #otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care #thanks brain. #the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers #for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually #like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end #i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc #it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER #praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so #then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on #well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final #but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper #and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not #to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and #research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho #agggggghh #so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and #make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh #sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song) #i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD #depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am #i making things worse for myself. #except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me) #cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe #readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing #and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the #readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it #that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it! #that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it #raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Important life lesson I've learned recently: Never fall in love with an anarchist.

#leon bitches #I'm dying #yesterday i slept for three hours before the horror of what's happening kicked in and insomnia kept me from sleep #fucking went and ran like four miles just to drive the thoughts of him out of my brain #didn't work #but before that i had a complete mental breakdown like i haven't in so so long #like. unable to get off the floor. unable to stop hysterical crying. unable to stop shaking. #it was pretty bad #and it's no wonder i didn't sleep. how could i when the only thing I've hoped for for years - my only goal - is distancing himself from me? #and i know I'm making generalizations but anarchists all have shit going on in their heads dude #like. my take on anarchy (as an anarchist) is that everyone should be kind even when we don't beed to be #and we need to do shit to save the planet even if it's kinda extreme #radical kindness kinda route. but without some government entity forcing it. it's just how we should be. #but his type is very overthrow the government kill the politicians force the world to get better #and i agree with bits of that. mostly because it would be faster than waiting for people to wake up and choose kindness. #but he is legitimately about doing shit that can accelerate that change #one of the earliest conversations i had with him he was saying he voted for trump in the hopes he'd collapse the country #that way we can bring on the Mad Max Times which he said are step one for rebuilding a better world #and i think that might be when i fell in love with him #because here's this self-stated conservative hillbilly yet he's as much of a punk as i am #because - as much as i want change to happen without too much death - I've always said the mad max times will have to happen #and he used the exact term I've always used: Mad Max Times #and then we stood around and talked about the best ways to kill politicians and change the world #and he laughed at me for thinking humanity isn't too far gone to be nice #said even in the Star Trek universe there had to be violence before utopia #but i said expecting people to have any shred of decency left is the only way i can cope with the world #and he said that's kinda punk of me. and i maybe got kinda lightheaded thinking how perfect he was. #but he's also literally insane. incredibly unhinged man. #purposefully puts himself into conflict with others in the hopes of getting to kick the shit out of some arrogant dickhead #and i think that's just how anarchic people are. we're all a little fucked in the head. no shade.

[dreamertrilogys]

i’m so fucking tired (physically but also emotionally/mentally) like i don’t even feel like a person rn

#i still have to finish my diary entry for yesterday + i have to do one for today bc once again my life has been insane and like. AUGH #i don’t have the energy to do that right now tho so tmrw night it is i suppose. anyway ummm. i still genuinely truly deeply have no idea #what the fuck i’m supposed to do about the dani (possibly my girlfriend???) situation like i cannot deal with this #like if she just wanted to casual date or whatever i might be fine with it but no she like ACTUALLY likes me and it’s fucking terrifying #and like. oh my god. ok so there’s this new app or whatever idk i hate it but point is you get lame ass questions like who’s the hottest #person or whatever and you have to pick out of the 4 randomized ppl from ur school it gives you #<- like when you download it you pick ur school and then it suggests you people only from ur school yknow. anyway she showed me some of the #ones ppl picked her for (it doesn’t tell you who picked you for what it just says their grade and gender) and anyway what i’m trying to get #at here is that in english class (while we were sitting super close together thighs touching and all) she showed me and one of the ones #someone picked her for was most likely to marry their high school sweetheart and she kinda looked at me and was like hopefully! #and uhhhh. obviously nobody’s talking about fucking MARRIAGE rn and she’s dated plenty of people in high school but STILL #and like. as i’ve said before i genuinely can’t see myself with her in the future and going into a relationship knowing it’ll end just feel #so fucking mean and like a waste of everyone’s time. except i don’t even know if i feel that way anymore or i’m just telling myself that bc #i’m scared of commitment or whatever #fuck!!!! #and of course there’s still my friend (diff person not dani) who i’m genuinely in love with like it’s actually so fucking bad #like i need to **** *** ** ******* *** *** *** **** ***** #.txt #fake ex gf #crushposting #this is just a word for word repeat of my last 3 posts on this topic but anyway. the thing is if you asked me to choose between them (crush #and girl who likes me who i also kind of like) i’d pick my friend/crush like it wouldn’t even be that hard of a choice. but there is no #friend vs dani there’s only dani asking me out and like. ughhhhh #i can’t deal with this!!!!!!!!!! #gf

[rosesradio]

day 2 of what i call the redneck convention aka a family function

#it just so happens there's two events that call for a cookout--we never hang out two days in a row--usually i get a break of a few months-- #so idk if i can handle it #not to mention my sister has work & my fave cousin brings her bf all the time & is busy talking with him #so it's just gonna be me & all these other family members i don't like :// #& okay let me say a thing #yesterday i was having a conversation with my sister--clearly a private conversation #& my weird aunt just literally barged in between us like 'what what are you guys up to huh what what' #& i just like nervously laughed & was like 'yeah we're just talking' #& then she just starts standing right next to me--like glued at the hip and literally says 'what if i just wanna stand right here-- #next to you and just follow you around?' #& i just kinda nervously laughed & tried to shuffle away but she literally started following me around like that #& i know it's ridiculous but i could feel my fight or flight kick in because she was in my personal space & not listening to me #but all i did was kinda laugh again & say 'no thanks i gotta go wash my hands so i can eat--the food's almost ready' #& i had to say that like twice & then she actually got pissed & huffed before storming off #& then later in front of everyone she told my mom something like 'you need to correct your daughter's behavior she's very rude' #as if my mom could do anything #(like don't get me wrong my mom could say 'behave a certain way or we'll kick you out because you're an adult' but she's not gonna do that) #& my mom & dad were both just like '???' when i explained it because i didn't do anything rude-- #like genuinely how The Fuck am i supposed to respond with some aunt getting into my space & refusing to leave even when i'm uncomfortable #my parents told me not to worry about it because she's just weird all the time (which i know) but because she's got nothing else going on-- #in her life she'll probably still try to make drama out of that little interaction today #idk i might just gaslight her by pretending i don't remember what happened. gatekeep girlboss etc #& don't get me wrong i have complete sympathy for people who aren't good with social cues--i'm one of the most awkward people at these-- #functions. but personal space is where i draw the line because you can't just get into someone's space & insist on being there even when-- #they're clearly uncomfortable #sigh anyways these tags are so long. wish me luck :// #rose.txt

[frogcoded]

Why are men like this

#made the mistake of being nice to this Erasmus student my friends befriended the other day and now he won’t leave me alone #like yesterday night I went out with my friends and he was there too and first thing he did when he arrived was approach me and say #‘ where were youu you were missed’ like 1 bro cringe we saw each other ONCE and 2 you know damn well I wasn’t in your lessons bc we attend #two different degrees thank god #I also don’t like how he’s forcing me to be rude because in order to avoid him I spent the whole night talking to my friend in Italian #so he couldn’t join the conversation and bother me like dude I don’t want to be rude but you are really forcing my hand here #also whenever we were walking he was clearly trying to get closer to me like dude stop!!! fucking take a hint!!! #tried to mention the fact that I have a boyfriend but idk if he heard me bc he kept acting like this #also like. i shouldn’t need to tell you I have a bf or even to have one for you to stop acting ducking weird #if he tries any shit next time I see him I will just straight up tell him he’s making me uncomfortable idk #my friends also told me he’s acting like this with another girl in the group so f to us I guess

[fellwhite]

It's happening

Im self sabotaging again, as I've done all my life

This is a vent, you have been warned

#all happiness i had from the date has completely died out #I don't know what happened nor what to feel #up to yesterday she was messaging me for simple things with a couple pet names and just being lovely #yet today when we finally see each other again? colder than the fucking stone she's never been this cruel before #im totally willing to be with her in the good and the bad...but it's hard to do when anything you do gets completely rejected or ignored #i knew that this was a possibility of course but with how perfect everything was i don't understand i truly don't #im confused and on the verge of crying but I've been holding it back the whole day...the better the thing the worse the consecuence i guess #thank fucking god im no longer suicidal (i mean depression is always there but i can fight it now) because this would've surely left a scar #I just don't understand anything... why is this even happening where did i go wrong and how can i even fix it #thing is: although I'll definitely end up blaming myself i do know it's also something on her end #atleast in these moments of sanity i don't feel that guilty yet but I'll be dying in these following times #...guess this does confirm that it's not a simple crush but actual love right? because I've never felt this hurt before #like i don't give up and I don't plan to because with her i have experienced some of the happiest moments of my entire life #i know it's worth it... but i don't know how much more i can keep taking before crumbling apart #ah. this is why refused to let myself fall for someone again until a long time but that attempt was poorly executed #again though. what I've lived with her will stay on my mind and... if it comes to the worst I'll atleast treasure the memories i could keep #anyways ill end this here. i needed some venting because everything is aching right now but this does help even if just a little #vent

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[scare-ard--sleigh]

ohhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddd and now the fucking t*ble t*nnis guy is passive aggressively up my ass : \

#work stuff #silver jelly #'i've noticed editing has slowed down...' first of all ;;; i was editing the 3.5k words of incomprehensible nonsense because you all #won't hire real writers for almost TWO HOURS on friday. i skipped Yesterday. you sent that message at 10 AM when i HAD one of those #fucking awful awful articles on my roster for today. so that's what;;;; 1 work day unaccounted for? fuck off #secondly; you assholes REFUSE to tell me how much you're expecting from me; you just fucking yell at us when we're not going #'fast enough' when you WON'T EVEN TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS #this is an internal fucking site and we have REAL clients with REAL ACTUAL deadlines ;;; this is not !!!!!!!!!!!!!! a priority to me!!!!!!! #thirdly; ;;;; i took this project AS A FAVOR to someone who's on maternity leave. i did not even want it. she fucking told me 'ohhh you're #the only one i trust' when there's ... literally ;;; another editor on this who is her best friend from childhood or whatever . #like manipulating me; basically; into taking this project (and she didn't even need to; i wanted the hours anyway) #STILL; ;;; it's not something i picked; it's not something i even particularly wanted to do !!!!! #and it's endless shit;; every god damn week it's some version of 'is everything okay? you're slowing down?' like yeah bro i got other work! #jesus fucking CHRIST i just cannot !!!!! #i sent a message in the chat i straight up said 'i try to do one of these a day but i don't feel like it's enough so please tell me what #your expectations are' and if he dodges i'm saying 'an approximate number would be really helpful' like fuck dude i don't CARE if #you tell me you need 10 of these by the end of the week -- i can maybe even make that happen but this isn't fucking working !!!! #@god please get me out of here holy shit .