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starlight-writes-stuff · 3 years

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camping hc’s w/ the feral boys <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : implied smut if u look hard enough , but really just some cute , fluffy feral boys content lol . these ended up being really fun to write so let me know if u have any other ideas for more hc’s !! ily , starlight ☁

reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3

all as a group -

god help us all this would be a MESS

you guys would get one of those massive tents that have separate rooms for everyone

s’mores are a guarantee

alex and clay would light their marshmallows on fire

and chase each other around with them

karl is FOCUSED on getting the perfect golden roast

sapnap keeps nudging him to mess the marshmallow up

george literally has his marshmallow in the fire for .2 seconds

clay would give him so much shit for it and the two of them would “argue”

but george would end up breaking his smore in half for clay

and feeding it to him most likely

alex would bring his guitar and play it while everyone sat around the fire

sapnap would definitely start singing ‘campfire song’ from spongebob

everyone would pick up

and dissolve into laughter

clay would be the first to bring up telling scary stories

you’d be scared as shit from the words he was crafting

youd sandwich yourself between karl and alex

alex would poke your waist , jumpscaring you

and you’d pout saying you’re going to bed

youd walk into the tent

they would all C O M P L A I N but eventually join you

at least one of them pees on the fire “to make sure its completely out”

george would ‘knock’ on the tent to see if you were dressed

because they’re respectful , your honor

everyone would meet in the main part of the tent with sleeping bags and pillows and blankets

completley abandoning all the separate rooms

you’d all take turns talking about nothing at all really

making stupid jokes

if you fell asleep first , clay and george would make everyone whisper

you need your beauty sleep

they’d all fade pretty fast after that

but karl would wake everyone to watch the sunrise together

dream -

would have the top of the line camping equipment

even if it was for like

a two day trip

he’d go to an outdoor store and come home with an entire car full of camping shit

a portable grill

a blowup mattress

the nicest two person tent money could buy

the full nine yards

would put you in charge of planning meals

which is probably a good idea

has had the campsite booked for months

somewhere by a lake

“clay , we literally live by the ocean”

“it’s not the same , baby”

he’s right , its not

would take a mini road trip to get there

he’d make sure to stop at all the tourist traps along the way

you two would end up with a bunch of fruit from a roadside stand

once you finally got there

the tent would essentially pitch itself

he’d do the car salesman slap on the nylon

“best tent money can buy”

you’d probably take a nap , tired from the drive

by the time clay shook you awake the sun was setting

so he'd fire up his little camping grill

pls he’d geek out so hard over it

you’d be awake from the nap

so clay would light a lantern and the two of you would just

wander around the campsite holding hands

you two would absolutely go swimming at midnight

clay would pick you up in the water

and have you wrap your legs around him like a koala

he’d pepper your face with kisses

then dunk you under the water

once you two got out you’d get in pajamas

and clay wouldn’t be able to inflate the air mattress

he forgot the pump

but you brought sleeping bags just incase

you two would fall asleep as close as two people in sleeping bags possibly could

sapnap -

would insist on being the manliest man

like would collect firewood and everything

he’d show off the axe he brought

then would chop the wood

he's gloating smh

and would get 125670 % more overprotective when you wanted to try

would stand behind you and show you how to swing

would guide your arms and everything

but would stand like

10 feet away

when you went to actually swing

spooked by how hard you chopped

but also proud ???

would build a fire as it got dark

and tell you how pretty you looked in the light from the flames

he’d be pretty old school w camping food

would stab a poker through hotdogs

he’d help you roast yours , rotating it so it cooked even

would forget the buns and condiments

“i thought we had everything!”

the two of you would die of laughter

just eating ur hotdogs

off of the pokers

however

would remember a stash of candy and snacks

so you end up eating those too

nick would have the tent up in less than five minutes

“fastest tent pitcher on this side of the mississip” 😎

would bring it up 13790 times

he would find a way to zip your sleeping bags up together so it's one big franken-bag

he’s so warm

keeps you toasty

George -

camping was most likely your idea

but gogs is all for it

gets really excited and buys a two person sleeping bag

“so we can still cuddle”

you’d bring all your camping equipment so you had a pad to sleep on

“sleeping on the ground hurts , baby”

“isn't that the whole point ?”

would have his hand on your thigh as he drove to the campsite

and would play loud music the whole way there

with all the windows down

you two would set up camp while it was still light

both struggling™

to get the tent up

it would take y’all like an hour

and both of you would be all sweaty after wrestling with it

so george would change into swimming trunks and wait on you to put on a bathing suit

then he would piggyback you to the lake

running straight into the cold water while you scREAMED

you’d smack him so he’d let you down

then you’d splash him

a splash war would ensue

george would grab your hands , threading them through his

“be nice to me >:,(“

you’d get all soft and wrap your arms around him

the two of you would swim for h o u r s

until someone got hungry

you’d show gogs how to make a campfire

he’d knock over your demonstration

“i want to try”

would nail it on the first shot

you'd be baffled but entirely impressed

after dinner he would show off the oversized sleeping bag

you two would get in together , legs tangled

would probably download movies on his phone beforehand for you guys to watch

he’d fall asleep first , lulled to bed by the sounds of outside

Karl -

loves camping so much

just loves outside in general

would already have a bunch of gear

but would insist on finding a way for you two to be able to sleep together

we all know this boys love language is touch

even in his sleep he needs some sort of skin to skin contact

would buy a camping bed

i feel like karl would want to make “real camping food”

so he’d do hotdogs

and those foil packet thingies with potatoes and corn

he’d show you how to seal they foil and bury it in the coals properly

would scrunch his nose at you while you messed the wrapping up on purpose

“let me do it for you , baby”

would proceed to do it for you

he’d take 100000000000 pictures of you

in the sunset lighting

the campfire lighting

the moon lighting

because he cant help how beautiful you look

would feed you bites of vegetable in between your hot dog

“are you staying hydrated?”

brought juice boxes , too

he’d set up a place for you guys to stargaze

and would point out all the constellations

yall would make up your own too , giving them full backstories

he’d slow dance with you under the moon until it got too cold to be outside

the two of you would … take advantage of the camping bed

crossing ‘outside’ off the bucket list 😌

by day 3 he was tired of his traditional camping food

would beg you for some of your snacks

you’d feed him oreos and fruit snacks while you guys hiked

Quackity -

was not down™

at first

but once he saw how excited you were

he would be all in

would go to a camping store with you and pick out equipment

alex would insist on getting the stereotypical camping cookware

“we have to !!!”

“no we dont???”

“yes we do 😤”

would refuse to sleep on the ground

buys one of those camping pad things

would buy a two person sleeping bag as well

“if im doing this im at LEAST sleeping next to you”

you’d beg him to bring his guitar and play it at the campfire

he’d sing you soft songs while you toasted marshmallows

and you’d feed him s’mores

but you two would end up just eating the chocolate bars instead

he’d bring some sort of card game

and you two would get way too competitive

probaby uno

you’d be screaming at each other at like 1 am

“yOU DIDN’T SAY UNO”

would get a noise complaint

but alex does not care

not one bit

would make a joke about you screaming his name instead

ends up loving falling asleep to the sounds of nature

somehow finds his way into being little spoon

you two fall asleep holding each other

and wake up a tangled mess

begs you to stay another night

because he actually likes being away from it all

and getting uninterrupted one-on-one time with his girl

next time you guys get a free weekend , he’s the one who suggests camping

because he loved it so much

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kkaitstudies · 5 years

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backpack essentials for the (university) commuter student by kkaitstudies

days on campus can be long. especially when you spend a decent portion of your day commuting. after four years of commuting as much as 2.5hrs per school day, i��ve managed to pack just enough to get me through each day. this is what worked for me, and choose what works for you. i’m probably going to make a part 2 of this with what to do during your commute.

a sturdy backpack - get one that’ll fit what you need to carry for the day. while you’re at it, make sure it’s a bag that you don’t mind getting a bit dirty. if you’re commuting home during rush hour, there’s a good chance you’re either holding or resting on the ground to maximize bus/subway space (pls don’t be that person that takes up a seat for their bag)

your main note taking tool(s) - for me it was my laptop, but i know a lot of ppl that use ipads/tablets and notebooks.

a catch-all folder - sure, i’d love to bring all of my printouts and extras to class but when you’re commuting? try to make this bag as light as possible. bring a 2 pocket folder with some looseleaf blank & lined paper, your name card (if ur class requires it), and handouts needed that are specific to your classes of the day

stationary essentials - you don’t need all your stationary. trust me. at minimum, always have a black/blue pen, red pen, pencil, mini stapler, eraser, and highlighter on you. if you’re bringing your bujo or planner, opt to bring only 3 add’l items for the specific spread you’re working on.

snacks - listen...if you’re going to be commuting AND being in lecture AND maybe having breaks in between, it’s good to bring snacks. if it’s a long day or far commute, i’d suggest foods that’ll be okay in your bag for a while. granola bars, cookies, fruit, nuts/seeds, chips, etc.

a small bag for essentials - my personal collection includes: a small pill case for Advil and Benadryl; fem. hygiene products; hand sanitizer; hair ties/bobby pins; travel sized body spray; oil-blotting sheets; tissues; travel-sized makeup (eyeliner, lipstick)

textbooks - ONLY IF ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR CLASS, OR IF YOU KNOW YOU WILL STUDY ON CAMPUS! already know that your prof is going to read straight off the slides and will rarely ask you to flip to pages in the book? don’t bring the book.

chargers & portable chargers

reusable water bottle or mug

student id, wallet, keys

lunch if you have room to pack it!

realistic bonus tips:

charge your devices to 100% overnight or as you’re getting ready

if you don’t pack lunch, download Ritual if it is accessible in your area. you basically just order ahead thru the app, walk over to the restaurant, and BOOM! your order is ready for you to pick up.

if you know yourself and you know you’re not going to be disciplined enough to do readings between classes, don’t bother bringing your textbook and an excess of note taking supplies. it makes ur bag heavier

if you only have 1 lecture the whole day and are going straight home, make a smart, conscious decision on what you’d like to bring. don’t bring your whole bag for no reason.

#*mine #study #studyblr #studying #university #uni #university tips #college #college tips #uni tips #commute #commuting #*commuting #heypooh #heypat #lookstudyblr #gloomstudy #itshannyb

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fangirl-who-writes-shit · 7 years

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The Girl Who Cried Wolf: Peter Parker Short Fic: Part 5

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Peter Parker x Stark!Fem!reader. (Described as curvy but obviously can be any body type and gender, just changed the words in ur head x)

Masterlist

Warnings for all parts: Mental Health, swearing, probs some violence at some point, emotional/physical/sexual abuse, sexual nature (consent), emmm emotional rollercoaster throughout. I think that's it?? Please tell me if not.

I'm so sorry about the spelling in this, I wrote it really quick as I'm catching up on all the homework I forgot to do and school starts in less than a week 😂😭.

If part has triggering parts for sensitive reads I will say.

Mentions of physical abuse from a 'parental' figure, old self harm scars, mentions rapists name, mental health issues, mental health medication, description of rapist, FLUFF.

Also because this has taken longer to update I have made it longer!

*Reader's p.o.v*

I rolled over to my side to check the time, 3:34am. I let out a groan as Peter Parker's face ran through my head, along with mums and Caleb's. I tried with all my might to block out his voice, the words he said to me over and over again as he pulled my clothes off.

Think of something positive, please just think of something positive.

My heart beat started to increase and my body started to warm up as I remembered Peter's arms around me, I felt a smile cross my as all the negative thoughts went away and Peter's beautiful face was the only thing I thought about.

I feel like this is more than a crush, every time I see him my body heats up and all I want to do is smile as well as giggle at his adorableness.

I suddenly heard my phone buzz, I sat up slightly to grab my phone from my bedside table. I rubbed my eyes, the light of my screen hurting them slightly. My heart fluttered as my eyes skimmed through the text.

From: Peter💕🙈 Hey, can't sleep and thinking about you, hope you're okay. Text me in the morning about school X :-).

My cheeks heated up at the thought of him thinking about me and worrying if I was okay. What is life?! I let out a small giggle at the smilie face face he left.

To: Peter💕🙈 Hey, can't sleep either thinking about shit. Why can't you sleep? X

I hesitated before pressing send, I bit my lip waiting for his reply. I soon saw the typing symbol making me smile widely.

From: Peter💕🙈 Aww I wasn't expecting a reply :-(

I let out a laughing knowing what he meant but I wanted to tease him.

To: Peter💕🙈 Wdym? Are you upset that I replied...emm I'll stop then sorry

I let out another laugh as I pressed the send button and it didn't even take five seconds for him to text back.

From: Peter💕🙈 NO!! is typing.... I PROMISE I DIDNT MEAN THAT! is typing.... I JUST HOPED YOU WERE ASLEEP CAUSE YOUVE HAD A LONG DAY!

I started to giggle and leaned back into my bed to start typing again.

To: Peter💕🙈 I'm messing! I know want you meant dork😂

I pressed send whilst bitting my lip, we talked for another hour or so before I started to get tired.

To: Peter💕🙈 I'm going to try and get some sleep if that's okay? X

If Peter wants me to stay up because he can't sleep I will of course.

is typing....

From: Peter💕🙈 No, please go to sleep. If you don't come in tomorrow I'll stop by to drop off some work. Night X

I smiled to myself and typed a simple goodnight and put my phone on charge. I soon felt my eyes close as I once again thought of Peter Bloody Parker.

"Miss Stark!" A deep voice yelled slightly causing me to shoot up, I let out a small scream when I saw Vision in my room. I brought my duvet up to my chin as I only had a tank top on and you can see my scars and bruises from Bobbie.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you Miss Stark but it's one pm. Miss Romanoff tried to wake you up for school but as she put it 'you were flat out'. But for health reasons I suggest you get up and moving before your sleeping patten becomes irregular." Vision said and came over to the side of my bed to hand me a glass of water and my daily tablets.

"I couldn't find any of medication when I unpacked your bag, so I took the liberty of using the ones you keep here" He said again, I sat up still trying to hide my upper chest and my arms. I let out a sigh knowing it's impossible to take them off him whilst trying to do so.

"Don't tell anyone" I said letting the duvet fall slightly, I noticed his eyes scan over my now green bruises and a couple of scars on my arms. Some self inflicted some not. I reached out to take my high dose of setraline (which helps with my depression, anxiety and PTSD) along with a quite low dose risperidone (antipsychotic). I gulped them down with little water, already used to talking them.

"How old are your bruises?" Vision asked, I shrugged lightly.

"A couple of weeks, why?" I asked and coved them up again getting self conscious.

"You must of got them with force" He commented, all I did was nod. I closed my eyes thinking back to when Bobbie started to beat me up about two and a half weeks ago, I don't know why he did it. My fingers lightly traced the hardly visible bruise on the side of my lips where Bobbie had first punched me and as I tried to get away he clawed at my chest.

"At least that ones healed" Vision cutting me out of my thoughts, he was now looking where my fingers are.

"Yeah" I said, he let out a small sigh.

"Your hand is a different story, it doesn't look like it will be healing anytime soon. I think we should get it X-rayed or maybe a MRI to see if anything is damaged" Vision said and generally took my hand in his.

"It's not broken though, I was thinking more about ligaments and tissue" He added, I nodded again not really wanting to say anything. I knew it wasn't broken from Peter.

"How about you get changed and I'll take you down to medics. Just you and me, no one had to know" I sent him a smile and another nod.

"Thank you Vision" I whispered as he headed for the door but still heard me as he sent a nod my way. I sighed then leaned over to my phone as the door shut after him. Peter had sent me a text telling me how maths is boring without me, then Ned sent me a text saying Peter got caught on his phone and now it's confiscated. I let out a laugh as I got out of bed to clean myself up in my bathroom.

When dad found out that he could have parental responsibility over me and even have me over to stay, he went a little over the top with my room. I remember when I was little and being in a meeting with an Interior designer on how I want my room, any size and anything. Now every year on the fourth of March I get to change it, new wardrobe, new bed, new everything. I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world when I'm at my dads.

After I'd finished in the bathroom I walked over to my walk in wardrobe as I connected my phone to my surround sound system. I pressed shuffle on my downloaded music and Oasis came on. I smiled to myself as my favourite part came on and I started to sing loudly.

"Maybe I just want to fly I want to live, I don't want to die Maybe I just want to breathe Maybe I just don't believe Maybe you're the same as me We see things they'll never see You and I are gonna live forever"

I quickly picked out something to wear as I remembered Vision is waiting for me. I rolled my eyes when it happened to be a Gucci top and some Nike leggings, I don't understand why thinks he needs to buy me 500 dollar tops when I'm happy with something from forever 21. I still got changed into as I have to admit it's a beautiful top, it's a white t-shirt with a UFO on it with rainbow beams coming out of it with GUCCI written in bold on the top. Once I had put the items on I grabbed my Harry Potter Y/H hoodie to hide my arms then finished my 'outfit' off with some trainers.

I put my phone in my pocket after turning off the music and walked out and down to the medical ward. I soon reached the nearest lift and went to floor four which is where the medical department is.

Everything turned out to be fine, the reason why it bruised so bad was because a knuckle dislocated but popped its self back in.

"Vision do you know when dad will be back? I asked as he checked the deep scratches on my chest and lower neck.

"Mr Stark said he should be back later today, would you like me to tell him to find you when he's back?" I nodded but winced when he rubbed some alcohol on an infected one, I just haven't had time to sort them out as normally I treat myself with a first aid kit I keep under my bed. Dad has been training me in paramedics for as long as I can remember, sometimes I have to patch him up. But with school and exams I'm too busy studying to do anything other than that.

"You're going to need a shot of antibiotics for the infected cut once a week for a month or so" Vision said looking at the swab results, I let out a sigh but nodded.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I told the nurse who let us in that I'm reviewing your medication." I sent him a smile, as he went over to get a needle.

"Right close your eyes and take a deep breath then breath out when I tell you" I nodded and bit my lip before closing my eyes.

"Okay deep breath in. 1, 2, 3 and breath out" I followed his instructions and jolted a bit cause of the pinch I felt to my skin as the needle went in. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the the liquid go into my bloodstream. He took the needle out and I opened my eyes.

"Why's over half of it left?" I asked lifting my eyebrows.

"It's one shot but goes in four times in different places" I nodded and let him get on with it. Once he was done I put my t-shirt back on then I stood up just wanting to get back to my room.

"You can go now, but if you start to feel sick or get dizzy don't worry as it's a common side effect. If you feel anything else please come and get me." I nodded and started to walk out but suddenly turned around to give him a hug.

"Thank you Vision" I then quickly turned back to walk out the room. I got out my phone out to see what time it is.

3:10pm.

Peter will be here in half an hour or so, I walked into my room and looked in my mirror. Should I put some makeup on? I bit my lip and nodded to myself. I only put some clear lipgloss on and some concealer for the now faded bruise next to my lip but just incase.

"Friday" I called out as I made my bed.

"Yes Y/N?" The A.I's voice echoed into my room.

"I'm going into my tv room, when Peter gets here will you let him in and direct him to the room?" I asked whilst getting a book from my bookshelf.

"Of course Y/N, I will let Mr Parker in" I smiled and went to one of the many doors in my room.

"Thanks Friday"

*Peter's P.O.V*

I bit onto my lip as I walked up to the FQ's security gate. I went into my bag taking a shaky breath as I got out my 'level 2' pass. Only people who live in the FQ have level 1. This is the first time I'm coming here without Happy or Mr Stark with me.

"Sorry kid, we don't do tours" A guard said as I stopped at the scanner, I gave him my pass with my name and picture on.

"Emm I'm P-Peter Parker and I'm here to see Y/N Stark. I've brought her some work cause she wasn't in school today" I said, he scanned my pass and nodded.

"Emm thanks err sir" I said and put my pass back into my bag then walked through the gate.

I walked through the main entrance and saw Mrs Sally, she's one of the receptionist that normally takes me to Mr Stark.

"Peter?" She said with a smile, Mrs Sally is a middle aged woman with dark skin and wore red lipstick every time I saw her. Her hair is always tied back into a tight bun as well.

"You haven't got a meeting with Mr Stark, is everything okay?" She added as I walked over and leant my arms on the front desk.

"Y/N missed school, I said I'll come and bring her some work. Can I go straight up?" I asked, she looked down at her computer.

"I'm guessing you don't want Mr Stark to know, he normally doesn't let boys her age near her when she's in his care" I blushed and started to drum my fingers nervously against the desk.

"If you wouldn't mind, n-not th-that anything is going to happen! W-we're just friends" I mumbled, I heard her laugh and start to type.

"You we're here yesterday as well it says on the system, so you already know Mr Stark isn't home until around five" I raised my eyebrows.

"He's not back yet?" I asked feeling a little more confident, she shook her head.

"Normally you have to sign in as you know but Y/N needs a friend right now so I'm going to let you off this once, just this once" She said, I nodded and pushed myself off the desk.

"Thanks Mrs Sally!" I called as I reached the elevator, I pressed floor two.

"Please scan your pass, full name and reason on visiting the living quarters" F.RI.D.A.Y's voice echoed into the small space. I shrugged having never done this but got my pass out and pressed it against the glowing green light in front of me.

"Err Peter Benjamin Parker and I'm here to see Y/N Stark cause she missed school and I've brought her some work" I said rambling a little.

"Welcome Mr Parker, Y/N waiting for you in her TV room. If you go into her bedroom then I will tell you which door to use" I nodded to myself as the doors to the second floor opened. I gripped onto my rucksack as I walked down the hall and to Y/N's room, along the way tripping over my feet but I caught myself at the last minute. I jumped back up and straightened myself out. Phew thank god no one saw-

"Mr Parker, are you okay?" F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice came out of nowhere chasing me to jump slightly.

"Oh yeah that I meant to do that" I said casually, she'll believe that won't she?

"You are telling me that you tripped up on purpose?"

Nope she won't.

"Yep" Was all I said mentally cringing, I soon reached Y/N's room and was about to knock.

"The door is open" F.R.I.D.A.Y said making me remember she's in her 'tv room'. I took a deep breath as the slide door opened.

"Please walk toward the door wear the keypad is glowing blue not green" I found the right door then walked over to it.

"I will tell Miss Stark that you are here, she will be with you shortly." I nodded to myself and ran a hand through my curls then pulled on my shirt. I heard the door open and my breath caught in my throats when I saw her.

She looked so simple yet so breathtaking, her eyes slightly red making be think she's been crying. I felt myself look down at her lips which were a bit shiny and so kissable-

"Peter, what happened to your face?!" She yelled slightly grabbing my hand and pulling me to the end of her bed. Wait what is she talking about?...wait oh shit I got into a fight last night with a mugger. I stared at her wide eye as she pulled my face closer to hers and lightly ran her fingertips over my bruise on my right eye, she traced it down to my lower cheekbone.

"Well?" She whispered, her hand not moving. My heart beat increased and I'm scared she will be able to feel the heat radiating off my cheeks.

"I-I-I h-hit my-my face on my bunkbed" I tried to say without telling her what actually happened or saying something creepy. Her eyebrows raised as she took her fingers away from my face, my skin already missing her touch.

"You hit your eye and not your head?" I mentally swore to myself, I felt her hand slowly take mine in hers. I watched her teeth take her bottom lips in between them, I felt myself let out a shaky breath.

"You know you can tell me anything Peter, I won't judge. You're my friend, my best friend really" Her voice getting quieter with each word, a smile broke onto my face but it soon went as I felt guilty about not telling her that I'm Spider-Man.

"I got into a fight" The words just slipped out of my mouth not realising what I said until after.

"With who?" She asked softly and brought her hand back up to my bruise but her fingers started to wonder as she noticed a scab on my lip, my mind screaming 'KISS HER, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!!' I held my breath, her thumb ran over the red scab but she seemed to notice what she was actually doing, killing me that is.

"Sorry" She whispered moving further away from me. All I wanted to do was grab her hips and pull her closer to my own body.

"Itsfine" I breathed out in one breath causing her to giggle making my heart skip a couple of beats as her nose scrunched up slightly.

"If was Flash" I lied, I felt guilty for lying to her but not about saying it was him. She nodded but then moved closer once again, putting her head on my shoulder.

"I hate Flash, he's brought back so many bad memories for this this week" I leaned my head onto hers, the sent of her shampoo hitting my nose.

"He's a bastard" She laughed and snuggled into my shoulder more, I wish we could do this all the time.

"Is that why you have been crying?" I whispered, she looked up at me pulling away from me slightly, it took her a couple of seconds before she nodded.

"You noticed?" She asked, I nodded myself.

"Did you get into a fight this morning? It's bruised quickly" Y/N said leaning closer to get a better look. She was obviously trying tot change the subject but I don't want to push her.

"Emm yes, my skin is sensitive and he hit me hard" She sighed, I then suddenly remembered why I'm here in the first place.

"I got you're school work, it's mostly maths cause we had double today. MJ got your art homework and there's some English, not a lot though as we watched the end of Macbeth. You had psychology as well so I asked Betty Brant to write you notes. Then on the way here I colour coded everything because I see you do it all the time." I rambled slightly but stopped when she giggled. I looked over at her to see her bright red.

"What?" I asked blushing myself.

"You noticed that I did that?" She said, I bit my lip not wanting to sound creepy.

"Yeah" I whispered, I turned to my bag which had fallen off my shoulder just a couple of minutes before.

"Here, after I wrote the math notes I also colour coded them as well." I said handing the pile of work to her.

"Thanks Pete, you're the best" She said and leaned over to kiss my cheek, her lips lingering for a little. I didn't know what to do, should I turn my head? But I couldn't as she pulled away.

"S'Okay" My voice broke causing her to laugh. I watched her look through the notes with a smile.

"Theses are perfect, thank you" I nodded, I looked down at my watch to see it's 4:15pm but something red caught my eye.

"W-Whats that?" I asked leaning over to see a drawing of my Spider-Man mask in her sketch book and fucking hell its amazing.

"O-Oh em it's you know Spider-Man. I kinda got interested in him after what happened in D.C" She whispered and her hand wrapped around her left wrist.

"Oh yeah, he saved you and Liz right?" I asked pretending that it wasn't me who actually saved them.

"Yeah" She said with a smile.

"I didn't tell dad though" She added, making me raise an eyebrow. "I didn't want him to worry, he probably wouldn't of let me out of the house again" She laughed nervously.

"Is he your favourite hero?" I asked jokingly expecting her to say no.

"Yeah, don't tell Dad. He'll kill me" She laughed again and got up to place the school work on her desk. Wait what? I'm her favourite. Fuck yes!

"Do you want to stay for a bit? You don't have to but you know if you want to we can watch something maybe." I heard Y/N say from the other side of her room not looking at me.

"Yeah!" I said a little too quickly, I cursed to myself. Y/N turned back around and came to sit down next to me again.

"Great, I get lonely around here since Steve left. Steve is Captain America by the way" She added, I laughed nodding.

"I know" I noticed her cheeks turn red but she looked over to the side, her eyes losing their glow.

"Were you two close?" I asked and timidly took her hand in mine. She looked at her with a small smile and a nod.

"Yeah, Steve would help me with my homework whilst dad was away. Which was a lot. And he was also like my big brother which is a bit weird but yeah" She sighed at the end, I kinda feel guilty now for kicking him in the face.

"I'm sure him and Mr Stark will make up soon" I trailed off trying to sound convincing but it obviously didn't work as she let out a bitter laugh.

"Thanks Peter but not going to happen" I nodded and it went quiet. I felt her hand grip onto mine tighter making my heart start to go faster and my hands started to get sweaty.

"Thank you for listening yesterday Peter, it means a lot. I-I get really self conscious when it comes to em that subject, like in class when people are talking about sex and shit I just freeze. I start to feel his body on top of me and the feel of his stubble against my cheek" I wanted her to stop as her nails started to dig into my palm, it didn't hurt just a sting but she's reliving a horrible memory. That's what makes me want her to stop. But she needs to let this out and I'm not going to stop her.

"Then I start to smell his weird scent, I don't know what it was but it was a mixture of like dirt, sweat and I don't know something else that smelt horrible." She stopped talking suddenly, noticing what she was saying.

"I'm sorry" Y/N mumbled, I noticed her eyes had now filled with tears. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder pulling her into my chest. I really don't know how I'm so confident around her now....sometimes. I'm only confident around her when she needs someone to hold her and just needs a laugh.

Her fingers gripped onto my jumper as she sobbed, I ran my own through her hair trying desperately to calm her down. I'd never seen her like this before thinking back to when she moved to my middle school in 6th grade.

(A/N okay bitch the American school system is so fucking confusing to me. So they are 11-12 I hope I got the grade and the school right.)

Y/N was always popular but for the first year or so I knew her, well knew of her, she didn't show emotion and now I guess I know why now. Recently she's been showing a lot more emotion, but she's also being crying a lot. She doesn't think I've been noticing her red, puffy, eyes or the fake smiles and the watery eyes when she thinks no one is looking. I didn't want to ask her about it as I knew she'd just change the subject.

"I'm sorry, for the past two days I've just been crying on you. I'm normally not like this but everything is just building up and getting to me" She mumbled pulling away and wiped her eyes with her palm.

"Oh I'm sorry! I've ruined your favourite jumper" She sighed and tried to wipe away the tear stains away but just made it worse.

"Hey, hey it's fine don't worry" I laughed and wiped the rest of her running tears off her cheeks. She sent me a smile and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"I can buy you a new one if you want" She sniffed and got out her phone, I gently grabbed her wrist and made her lower her arm.

"It's fine really, I think I have another one in this colour" I said looking down to check if it's the blue I'm thinking of. "Yeah I do".

"Of course you do" She giggled, I blushed looking away and bit my lip. I heard Y/N let out a sort of 'dreamy' sigh. I turned back towards her to see her already staring at me.

"You okay?" I asked, her eyes went wide and her neck started to turn a rose colour.

"Fine, fine. Just thinking about shit" Things got quiet once again and I realised that I had taken her hand in mine at some point.

"Peter?" Her soft voice cut into my thoughts.

"Hhmm?"

"Em w-what do you think of me? L-like when we were in the bathroom last week y-you said I was beautiful, and-and no one has said that to me before. Well Dad and Steve have but that doesn't count." Y/N said I turned to her with red cheeks. Oh bloody hell what am I going to say? I'm just going to make her uncomfortable and probably something creepy.

"Well-well you are beautiful, gorgeous in fact. On the inside and out, like when you smile the whole room lights up. And that glow in your eye you get when you're really happy, it just makes me happy-" I rambled on, listening all the things I love about her but the next thing I knew her hands were pulling my face towards her and our lips connected. My eyes still wide open as I stared at her closed eyelids, my mind screaming 'MOVE YOUR FUCKING LIPS, YOU'VE BEEN WANTING THIS FOR YEAR'. Her lips moved against mine trying to get mine to move but my whole body was frozen. Her hands soon left my face as she pulled away, my lips already missed her. Both of us breathing deeply, I still hadn't loved I don't think I've even blinked.

"I'm so sorry, I-I don't know-" Her voice cracked as she spoke but my body suddenly started to work again and I leaned in smashing my lips back onto hers. I didn't know what to do with my hands as hers went back up to my cheeks. Our lips moved slowly against each other's, her lips a little dry and my teeth bumped against hers a couple of time. But soon (a couple of seconds) we got used to it and shared the perfect kiss.

I felt like I was in heaven, my heart banging against my rib cage. My hands rested on her thighs and they naturally started to glide up but then I stopped and quickly pulled away realising what's actually happening. I let out a quiet groan when I saw her lips all swollen.

"I can't" I whispered, I can't do this. She's not in the best state of mind right now, she might not even know what she's doing.

"Why?" She asked, hurt laced in her voice making my heart physically hurt. I brought my hand up to her cheeks and rubbed circles with my thumb against her smooth skin.

"Y/N, you know why. No matter how much I want to and fucking hell I want to, we can't. Not right now, not when you're this emotional. Tomorrow you might remember what you did and think 'fuck, why did I do that?' When you feel better mentally then m-maybe w-we can you know, go on a date or something." She nodded and looked down, biting her lip.

"Don't do that" I mumbled, pressing my forehead against hers.

"Sorry" She giggled.

"I'd like that, I mean go on a date like that will be fun. I've never been on one before." She added and took my hands in her once again.

"Me either" I said smiling brightly, my face hurt from how wide my smile was but I didn't care. Y/N FUCKING STARK IS GOING ON A DATE WITH ME.

"Thank you for stopping Peter, that was an amazing thing to do. You're right I'm not in the right state now" She said not looking at me, I put my index finger under her chin making her look at me.

"It's okay" Her hand moved up to my cheek once again and I leaned down to kiss her nose as I held her closer.

Her head fell into my shoulder as she wrapped her arms around my neck. We stayed in that position only God knows how long but Y/N's doors opened causing us to jump apart. My eyes went wide when I saw Mr Stark raising an eyebrow at us.

"Interrupting something am I?" He asked in a stern voice, I looked at Y/N panicking but she looked so calm.

"No Daddy" She said getting up. "Peter came by to drop off my school work and was trying to make me feel better. And in all honesty I just needed a hug so I asked him and he said yes" She lied straight through her teeth as she went to hug her father. Thank god she's obviously lied to him before.

"Right, well thank you Mr Parker but you can go now. No work needed at the internship today." My face scrunched together for a second forgetting Y/N didn't know.

"Oh right em yeah. I'll see you tomorrow Y/N" I said getting my bag then started to walk over to them. I stood and stared at her with loving eyes as she sent a smile my way. Mr Stark cleared his throat and nodded to the door.

"Sweetie, I need to talk to Mr Parker about a project. Why don't you do some online shopping in your tv room whilst you wait for me and I'll come and get you after" Y/N nodded and waved at me as she walked over to the room.

"Bye Pete, I'll em text you" She said blushing making my cheeks go red as Mr Stark staring me down.

"Bye-" I tried to say but Mr Stark grabbed my elbow. Oh god I thought as I saw his face.

"Walk with me Peter" He said and started to walk down the long corridor.

"O-of course sir" I said and ran to catch up with him.

"When are you planning on telling my daughter that you're spider man" I let out a small sigh of relief as he didn't say that he was secretly spying on us and saw us kissing.

"Em I don't know, I have enemies sir and I don't want to put her in danger" I saw him nod to himself and as the lift doors opened he took his sunglasses off.

"I see your point kid, but Y/N cares for you a lot I've gathered over the past couple of days. I also looked into the school system and saw you take a lot of the same classes. Also the security cameras at the school show that you spend a lot of time together. Also her phone bill has been going up in price recently and I suspect that has something to do with you" I felt my palms get sweaty and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I opened my mouth to say something but he lifted his hand up stopping me.

"I'm talking, I just wanted to say thank you Peter. My daughter hasn't had the easiest life in the world we needs a friend, that friend is you. But she trusts you Mr Parker and I think you should tell her about your alter ego." I nodded not knowing what to say. I hadn't even noticed that we had reached the main entrance.

"Well that was a nice chat wasn't it, I've already got a car waiting for you. Mrs Sally seemed to forget to wipe the entrance scanner when she said you can come in without going on the system." I turned to look at him with desperate eyes.

"Mr Stark, please don't put any blame on her. It was my idea, I threatened her!" I yelled slightly causing a couple of people to look over at us, he sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"I highly doubt that Peter, but don't worry nothing is going to happen to Mrs Sally. She's one of my best workers. Now cars outside, please sign in next time you come won't you?" Again I nodded, he patted me on the back.

"Until the next time Mr Parker, which will probably be soon as I've just got a text off Y/N asking me to ask you to come and see her again to watch a film. So I've asked you, sort it out yourself but I need to do something quickly so I can spend some time with my daughter. Bye Peter" I stood in shock for a couple of seconds, trying to proses the information.

"Right" I muttered to myself and walked towards the drive way and I saw Happy. I smiled.

"Hey Happy!" His face fell slightly when he saw me.

"Ugh get in. When Tony said he needed me to drive someone home I wasn't expecting you" He groaned and walked back to the drivers side, normally I would feel a little down that he said that but nothing could bring my mood down.

On the way back to Queens, my mind was racing and I kept on touching my lips."You alright Parker?" Happy asked, noticing my happy mood.

"Amazing" I sighed looking out of the window, the buildings becoming familiar once again. My leg started to bounce uncomfortably as I started to think about the date. What the fuck do you do on a date?

"Bye Happy!" I yelled as the car pulled up, I heard him yell my name as the car was still moving slightly. I sent him a wave and a thumbs up. I ran up the stairs all the way to my apartment, I opened the door with force causing a bang. I tripped then slid into the living arena.

"May! I need your help!" I yelled causing her to look up from the telly.

"What? Peter are you okay?!" She asks standing up, looking concerned.

"Fine! Perfect! I have a date soon" I yelled my smile covering my face once again, her own lips turned into a smile.

"With who?" May asked and walked over to me pulling me into a hug.

"Y//N! I actually have a date with Y/N!" She laughed at my excitement.

"When is it?" I shrugged getting shy.

"Em I don't know, like she's going through some things at the moment and I don't want to take advantage of her" I mumbled blushing.

"Oh Peter, I raised you well" Aunt May sighed pulled me back into a hug.

"We kissed" I muttered into her shoulder, not being able to keep it to myself any longer. I pulled away with a huge smile.

"Oh did you now?" She laughed crossing her arms, all I could do was nod and bounce on my feet.

"May you don't understand, it was the best feeling in the world. Like ugh, I've never felt this way before. After I tried to be really sweet and everything just how you taught me!" I shouted now waving my hands around.

"Peter, sweetie calm down. You're going to hyperventilate" She said grabbing my shoulders and shaking them.

"Sorry, sorry. But now you need to help me! I've never been on a date before. Please Aunt May" I pleaded with her, practically begging her.

"Of course I'll help Peter, now tell me what she likes"

------------

Heyy, thanks for reading. Sorry this took so long to update but this is soo cute yet sad... please share and shit so I know you want me to continue. Again thank you for reading x

Tags: @purplekitten30 @i-just-wanna-run-hell

Song mentioned: Live Forever By Oasis

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osetljiv · 4 years

Audio

(via https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2odvuQkrlARSSv6Pvm41GM?si=sjzD66aFTGa5TkMfcIurtQ)

hi i am doing this solely for myself/my own records so please feel free to ignore!!!!!! i wanted to challenge myself by making a top 10 albums list from the last decade - it was rly difficult because my ass truly cannot cut things down and be decisive, but here it is!

i know many ppl r not into this kinda thing, but i really really love symbolic gestures - i love the idea that a new year (or a new decade!) can wipe ur slate clean, can give u a chance to be hopeful and excited and look forward to things - i hate change and i hate endings but the one good thing to come of them are beginnings! i love new starts, i love freshness, i love blank slates. i know that the end of the year/decade is arbitrary and doesn’t rly mean anything in the long run but....... it is important and super special to me!!!

i’m really not good with words/proper descriptions of the music itself, so i mainly just describe memories/associations i make to the albums, so don’t expect a proper music critic’s review or anything LOL… i am also not ranking by objective quality, but influence - these r the albums that personally made the biggest impact on me since 2010. i started off the decade age 13 and finished it in 2019 at age 23..... so clearly that is a very big difference in stages of life!!! i completed my teenage years, graduated from elementary school, high school & university.... i went thru many different friend groups, many different personality changes...... several big life events occurred…. many many hours were spent listening to music. and now i’m here!

my only rules were 1. had to be on repeat for a significant amount of time, 2. preferably only one album per artist (to force me to pick between them), and 3. i had to consistently listen to the album as a whole (as opposed to just a few songs out of it)...... some of my fav songs in the world aren’t on these albums bc they were either released before 2010 or i didn’t listen to the rest of the album except for a handful of songs (as is usually the case for me). so the albums on this list are markers in my life, and i could (and did!) listen to them front and back. and ALSO they are not ranked from 1-10...... it was literally difficult enough choosing just 10 and i truly would not survive having to rank them as well. in release date order, here they are!!!!!

owen pallett - heartland (jan 12th, 2010)

okay i know i just said i wouldn’t rank these but........... well this one is #1 regardless lol!!! the rest are not in any sort of order but this one has to be first (and how lucky that it was released first too!!!) this is the most important/special album to me in the world - it’s the first album released by my favourite musician under his real name, it has some of my most favourite songs of all time on it - it’s probably the first album in my life that i loved and listened to as a whole! when I was younger i never used to have favourite singers or favourite writers or favourite artists - i would have one favourite song/book/painting but never look into the creator’s other work, never had any interest in organizing things that way. but this is the first time i thought - “i adore this song..... and i adore all the other songs this person makes.... so i guess i like this whole album?” not to mention it’s a whole story and world - heartland tells a whole fable and sounds so beautiful doing so. owen was also the first concert i’ve ever been to! he is so beautiful and wonderful and this album is perfect and has my heart and can do no wrong! and as a plus it was released right at the beginning of 2010 so it truly started off the decade and set the pace. i really don’t know what else to say! heartland was a constant throughout the last ten years - i can’t tie it to one specific moment or feeling the way i can with the other albums. this one was really just the background of my whole adolescence, i guess, and i’ll love owen and this album forever!!!! love love love

gorillaz - plastic beach (march 3, 2010)

i honestly didn’t listen to this album as a whole until the summer after grade 11/before grade 12 when i had to take summer school for math bc i failed (first class i had ever failed :’)!!) and needed the credit for my grade 12 courses (many of which i ended up failing anyway lol) BUT i still had hope at this point so this summer wasn’t that bad..... i remember i had to buy my own bus pass for the summer w my own work money for the first time and walk to the mall bus stop every day all summer to take the city bus downtown to the highschool that used to b a prison (RIP, it got torn down this year) to take summer math from 8-3, 5 days a wk. i loved those classes surprisingly? i remember that summer i dressed so cute every day, i would wear my extra ass dresses and knee high socks and do my hair all cute...... i’d steal my mom’s old lady sweaters w mini skirts and make my own coffee to bring w me and felt so adult..... i didn’t make any friends bc i thought they were all too cool but later learned that the girls in class rly liked me and remembered me the next year when i’d see them at their highschool when visiting for a trivia tournament (don’t judge!!!!) also the first time i got hit on bc a 30 yr old man in my class somehow got my email from the teacher and sent me a creepy email asking me out and i was too scared to go to school the next day lol..... truly feels surreal. but yes i would listen to this album (and demon dayz!) on repeat cuz i found the full albums uploaded to youtube so i remember i would just listen to the entire album all the way thru for the duration of the bus ride while looking out the window and daydreaming bc i couldn’t skip any songs and I couldn’t go on my phone bc the music only plays if u keep the youtube app open…. so it’s hard to listen to the songs individually now because i just picture the transitions every time!

caribou - swim (april 20, 2010)

this was my summer between grade 8 - grade 9! up until this point i only had a handful of western artists that i listened to (before highschool i listened almost exclusively to Japanese doujin groups that remixed video game music…. do NOT judge!!!) and i felt soooo cool when i started listening to this album/others like it… had odessa downloaded on my zen creative mp3.... so freaking good!! got so embarrassed of my music taste after this LOL cuz my brother saw the album cover on my phone in highschool and asked what hipster shit i was listening to. little did he know.... its GOOD!!!! such a great album to just listen to all the way through. perfect background music for studying/ /walking/smoking/literally doing anything to! i can still listen to it and pinpoint different/new melodies in the back in certain songs. so good!!!

crystal castles - (II) (april 23, 2010)

so many 2010 albums wow but LISTEN....... i first heard crystal castles in either 2010 or 2011, immediately after i first made a tumblr in grade 9.... this was the era when offensive bloggers and hipster british bloggers were like the only 2 sections of tumblr...... one of the first ppl i followed was this one super popular british blogger, this kid from london who was probs 15 and he had like, a pale grunge aesthetic and rly long bangs that covered his eyes.... i forget his name omg i wish i could see what he was doing now! but ya i loved him i thought he was the coolest thing ever, i went on his blog and he had autoplay and pap smear was the first song that started playing...... i remember being like wtf is this??? first time i heard music like that, with the video game sounds mixed in and the vocals so distorted. i literally was enamoured like i remember thinking i should hate it and wtf r these british freaks listening to but like..... i could NOTTTT STOP and i remember i wouldn’t even bother looking up the song on youtube or anything, when i wanted to listen to the song i would just go to this guy’s tumblr LOOOOOL god!!!! on the outside i was a cutesy girly girl but on the inside i was a pale grunge hipster british tumblr user!

beach house - bloom (may 15, 2012)

this album is just the sweetest, prettiest memory…. it’s so.. crisp? and clear and pure and loving! beach house was (unsurprisingly) my spotify artist of the decade and i don’t care what rep they get or how similar their music may sound i love them with my entire heart! discovered them from tumblr (as i did most of my fav highschool albums) - first beach house song i ever heard was wild - i remember the first time i started being (SLIGHTLY) less mortified of talking about my music taste to other people, it was maybe in first year? i had gotten into my friend’s car, before we got super close, and she was playing a song off of bloom i think! and i remember my heart just stopped!!!! and i was so absolutely terrified of saying anything, but even moreso excited to see someone whose opinion i cared about who was listening to music that i liked, and so i gathered all my strength and tried to be super casual and say something like “oh, you like beach house, too?” (meanwhile i was literally shaking with nerves…..) and she just so easily said “yeah, i love this song!” and it was the most validating, comforting thing! and a while after that, one of my favourite memories: my other friend got hired at a local café/tea shop, the teeniest little place – it was like 3x4 metres, max – and she would close the store alone, and it was always completely dead, so the group of us would go and sit with her for her entire shift in this sweet warm little store – we’d have tea and coffee and scones – and over the store speakers, she would play whatever we wanted – and for a while i didn’t make suggestions, let everyone else choose, but! i worked my way up to suggesting she play bloom – and she would play the album all the way through, and she surprisingly really liked it?? and then it became the default soundtrack to our tiny hangouts in the tiny café :’)

toro y moi - anything in return (jan 16, 2013)

WOWWWW truly such a throwback....... this is the first time i felt cool, TRULY cool listening to music LMAOOOO SO EMBARRASSING!!! i remember the day it came out, grade 11 i guess??? but i swear it must have leaked way earlier cuz i remember listening to this way before.... my fav tumblr user at the time (kiki deerhoof LMFAO now THAT is a throwback!!!!) was always posting abt toro y moi and made a mixtape w his music on it and i fell in love..... and i wanted to be cool too! so i would obsessively listen to this album when it dropped. the album drop also overlapped w the moment my grades/effort in school went on a steep decline (not that it caused it ofc but this was like…. the background music to my demise, in a way!) i’ll never forget listening to so many details on my chilly walk past my old elementary school at 6am to get to my bus stop - way too cool for school

mac demarco - salad days (apr 1, 2014)

how fitting that chamber of reflection is playing in the coffee shop as i type this :’) this album was the soundtrack to my late grade 12/entire grade 13 experience. i was SO thoroughly and unbearably depressed LOOOOL it was really awful… i’m laughing now thinking back at it but honestly the feeling of being left behind by all of your friends and having to come to terms with not meeting ur own expectations of urself… having to repeat a year and being the oldest one in ur classes…… SO AWFUL!!!! really truly idk how i did it! but the whole time, all year, i would listen to this album. i would always play it on my walk to the city bus (in grade 13 i never made the actual school bus and i don’t even know how much money i must have paid taking the city bus every day bc i truly could not get out of bed early enough to take the free school bus but ALAS……) and i swear to you that entire year was grey and foggy and cold and damp… and i would play salad days (the song itself) and my emo ass would associate 100% with mac singing “oh mama, acting like my life’s already over….. oh dear, act your age and try another year,” and i swear he was singing it just for me, trying to slap me out of my stupor by saying “calm down, ur fine, ur life isn’t over, it’s just one year and you’ll be back on track!” and sometimes, SOMETIMES!! it worked!

azealia banks - broke with expensive taste (nov 7, 2014)

i know i know..... i’m aware how we feel about azealia now....... and i know how overstated it is when ppl say “she may be problematic but she was an artistic GENIUS!!!” so i will not add more to the conversation but....... is this album not pristine? like what a masterpiece????? this album straight up defined my highschool experience even tho it was released at the beginning of grade 12..... all of grade 12/13 i was blasting this album while walking down the hallway hating literally everything! i grew up idolizing my bro and all he listened to (techno/house/etc) and loving it but being too embarrassed of copying him to get too into it, but then hearing azealia sound cute and sexy and scary while interpolating all these house beats. LITERALLY chicken soup for the soul… it felt like she made it just for me!! and even before bwet actually dropped, listening to 212 and all of her other singles waiting for her to finally drop the album she was tweeting about for years, like i don’t remember the last time i anticipated an album for soooo long? and she dropped it days after my 17th bday which really was such a perfect gift. listening to this w my friend who also loved azealia, pretending we were cool as SHIT and so grown up...... beyond influential

frank ocean - blonde (aug 20, 2016)

ur lying if this album wasn’t a pivotal moment for u......... blonde is the sole reason summer 16 is viewed as a cultural landmark. i SWEAR!!!! i may have spent 8 hours a day on tumblr in 2016 but my ass was NOT cool enough to have been listening to frank ocean prior to blonde..... no i never listened to channel orange before this, yes i know i was behind the times! 2016 was the summer after my 1st year of uni, august i had just finished my summer school course so my summer was just starting (i was re-taking 1st year math bc i failed..... some things never change huh!!!! lied to my dad and told him i was tryna get ahead by taking bio in summer school... he believed me till he caught me in a lie by chatting w my friend he bumped into at walmart LOL.... and yet he never said a word :’) an angel) this was also the summer my dad left for a few months to go travelling across canada, he was gone all summer and my bro was busy working and so was my mom and i had the car all to myself for the first time. went on SOOO many drives this summer blasting this album. not to mention that since my dad wasn’t home the responsibility to drive my mom to work fell on me and wow i LOVED it? i realized i love having little responsibilities and having ppl rely on me in little ways like this..... i loved going to bed at 3am and having my mom gently wake me up at 5:30am, having a coffee with her before leaving in my ratty pajamas to drive her to work, the sun was just rising but it was already sooo hot, that summer i remember i couldn’t even hold the steering wheel cuz it was burning and my car didn’t (still doesn’t!) have AC, i’d drop her off to work up on the mountain and as i drove down the escarpment i would roll down the windows and blast pink + white right as the sun began to peek over the clouds and i would take a pretty sunrise pic every time before driving around for a bit, listening to this album, going home, and going back to sleep till 2pm

blood orange - negro swan (aug 24, 2018)

i fully expected this list to be mainly albums released earlier in the decade, which makes sense – they would’ve had more time to have an effect on me – but as the final/most recent entry on my list, this album was beautiful enough to be a consistent part of the most recent year-and-a-half of my life!!! it’s also unique in that it’s one of the only albums on this list, i think, where i had already been a big fan of the artist’s previous work and was waiting for the album to drop. not 2 sound like one of THOSE people but i often find myself liking the first albums i heard from an artist/their older music better than newer work they release (not always!!! but often!), not from any kind of elitism or anything but honestly probably just nostalgia fogging my taste? especially for my first listen of a new album – it usually takes some time and a few re-listens before i really enjoy a newer release – BUT! from the moment dev released the album cover (which is so beautiful? one of my fav album covers off the top of my head) and dropped the first 2 singles, ESPECIALLY charcoal baby, i was so so enamoured with the album, right from the start. that whole summer i had it on repeat – early the next year i saw dev play in Toronto, and it was one of the best concerts i’ve ever been to – the lighting and colours and his dancing and demeanour, the other vocalists, plus we were right up at the stage, it was so stunning!!!!! this album has consistently appeared on all of my various spotify playlists, it rly can suit all moods and occasions, i love it very much and it’s the perfect album to round out my past decade in music!

honourable mentions: SPEED ROUND

yes i’m a CHILD that cannot commit to cutting things down...... but tbh i’m surprised enough that i was able to preen my list into a top 10 anyway. so these r the honourable mentions that i couldn’t live with myself if i didn’t mention in some way!!!! all also very good and important and special to me, in no particular order!

mount kimbie - love what survives: i won’t lie this one hurt to not include on my top 10 :( i’m surprised too.... my friend rly fought for this to be included but i had to listen to my heart!!! however ofc i HAD to include it here at the very least. i was so shocked when it dropped, it was nothing like the rest of mount kimbie’s stuff i had previously heard.... i discovered them randomly when i was studying and spotify did that annoying thing where it plays “artist radio” or whatever so one of their older songs came on shuffle and WOW it was so good! and then i properly listened to them after hearing their songs with king krule... anyway this album is stunning and i am SO sad i didn’t get to see them when they came to toronto but i promise myself (and u!) that i will go the next time they come by!!!! u have my word!

foals - holy fire: this one also hurts a lot to not include :((( a LOT a lot! this one i’m really fond of, my fav foals album and one of the main albums i associate with highschool! so pretty, i’ll never forget hearing holy fire (the song itself) for the first time, so angry and satisfying and GOOD!!!

king krule - 6ft beneath the moon/the ooz: love both these albums soooo so much, i think 6fbtm came closer to almost being in the top 10 but others had it beat juuust slightly - these albums defined the beginning/end of my uni career, respectively, and i’ll cherish them forever! love archie’s ugly ginger ass with my whole heart

james blake - the colour in anything: was such a fan of james and was so excited when this album dropped - it was the start of summer i think? and i would always play it when i went for bike rides to the beach with my dad! such pretty music to drive ur bike to beside the water, all the way down the waterfront until we got to the next city over, riding past all the rich ppl’s mansions and trying to sneak a glance into their windows as we rode by

beyonce - self-titled: obviously the day this dropped - w no promo whatsoever - was a critical moment in music history!! we played this obsessively in high school, blasted this album the entire Europe trip in grade 12 and it just reminds me of travelling and planes and France…. so sexy!

solange - a seat at the table: rly truly a gorgeous album!! we played this in the car when my friends and i trekked to Toronto early one fall morning right after it dropped, we skipped school to go to some event at a café, and we had to wake up DUMB early, like 4:30AM, and i went to go pick them up and we were all way too tired to talk to eachother and stressed cuz we absolutely COULDN’T miss the train so i played this album the whole drive there while the sun was rising and it was so calming and pretty and special

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professorjjong · 7 years

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Hi rose I was wondering if you had any tips or suggestions on how to learn Japanese by oneself. Do you think knowing Chinese would help in learning it? It's so cool that you know more than one language I wish I could be that cool ;w;

hahaha i’m really #NotCool lol

i actually learned japanese by myself so i’m literally full of tips and suggestions haha.

addressing knowing chinese--do you mean that you’re currently learning chinese? if you’re considering learning them side-by-side i honestly don’t think that would be very helpful? the two languages developed independently of each other so they’re virtually unrelated grammatically. japanese kanji does come from china but, unless you’re talking about traditional chinese, almost all of the characters were edited to be faster to write, whereas the original versions are still used in japanese. i do think kanji is important (and fun!) to learn but you should take it slowly and don’t make it your first priority. you’re not going to want to learn a bunch of kanji right off the bat because you’re going to forget all of the ones that aren’t used in common words. i’d say learn a few every week or so? find a pace that works with you best.

if you mean that you already know chinese, there’s a handful of words which are similar and, if you can write it,you’ll be able to pick up kanji faster simply because your brain is already wired to interpret and recreate such characters. but tbh i don’t think it would be much of an advantage.

but before you even touch kanji, learn both kana systems. you can find guides fro them easily enough online. some ppl recommend not learning katakana but tbh i find that katakana is used very often. learn hiragana first going down the rows. at first i learned it five per day but i bumped up that speed after a while. keep writing them. write them whenever u have a free minute just write them over and over again and try to make their sounds as you do.

from this point.... it’s a little fuzzier? there’s a fuck ton of japanese resources out there online. not including textbooks you can buy or rent at ur local library. my suggestion is to find a resource that starts from the beginning and get going with it. no matter what website or book it is it’s not going to be perfect. keep this in mind. i remember with my first book it explained adjectives so poorly i gave up on learning japanese for months because i thought it was just too hard--but then i eventually found a different source which explained adjectives in like two sentences and it made perfect sense. so, whenever you’re using your primary reference and it confuses you, go to a secondary source and see if it explains it better. there’s so many resources out there you can find the explanation you need for any topic.

when you have a basic grasp of grammar, like ‘AはBです” levels of basic, start speaking and writing it. i have a little gaudy pink journal which contains my very first japanese journal to myself, written in glittery pink pen. for these journals don’t look up new words and don’t worry about being grammatically correct. just write. set a length requirement--maybe only four or five lines at first and then let that requirement grow larger and larger as it gets easier and easier for you to write. if you find yourself needing a word in english, like you got halfway through the sentences before suddenly realizing you don’t know the word you need, try to sound it out in katakana. believe it or not, it’s sometimes a struggle to understand english words said in japanese, so try to get yourself used to this concept. do try, however, to only use words you know and to write every day. it doesn’t matter if your journals start out like ‘my name is susan. i am seventeen. i went to school today. in the morning i ate breakfast. i had a test.’ just write.

as for talking, virtually the same rules apply. at first you’re going to have to force it, so try in the morning while you’re getting ready, or in the shower, while cooking... etc.. look up pronunciation videos online and soon you’ll find yourself not forcing out the japanese when you’re talking to yourself.

once you have a good basis in grammar, you can move on to learning more vocabulary. i, personally, used the jlpt sets on memrise, starting with n5. but, as with all sets, these aren’t perfect. memrise is, however, fucking great. use it to build sets of the vocabulary in your primary resource or vocabulary you think might be useful to you in your journals. memrise is themed around learning words being similar to taking care of plants, so it times when you should review different words. on the mobile app you can set it to alert you at a specified time to go over your words, and you can also set goals to drive you to review words or learn new words for a certain length of time every day.

personally, for the words i add to my own personal lists, i don’t worry about kanji, as the jlpt sets all have kanji. you will, however, need to learn kanji using something else. personally, i used he book remembering the kanji but it’s not perfect. as with grammar, there’s a lot of different resources so find the one that explains kanji in the way you like best.

for me i made flashcards of kanji and went over them daily. when the number became too great for that, i went over all of them once a week and put the words i got wrong into a separate pile called my ‘stress words.’ i would go over these several times a day and then, once a week, would learn a few more kanji and add those to the new ‘stress words’ for that week. i also bought a mini white board to use when writing kanji but it’s also a good idea to practice with graph paper so you can learn to keep them in the proper shape and size.

another great app i liked a lot is hellotalk. it’s virtually an instant messaging app meant to connect you with people who are native speakers of the language you want to learn. since i used it, it has also become a little bit more facebook-esque,which i think can make things a bit awkward--as you can make a post about what ur eating or whatever and a japanese person might see it and then you can use that as a way to start conversation and avoid the awkwardness. it also has ways for you to limit what sex and age range can talk to you, but when i used the app recently i had people voice call me virtually immediately and i’m personally not comfortable with that :/ i’d hope that the app has maybe changed that setting but i haven’t checked. i’d suggest downloading it and seeing if the setting has changed or if ur comfortable with just refusing calls from people because having ppl to talk to is the best way to learn.

another website similar to hellotalk is lang-8, but, instead of instant messaging, on lang-8 you write journal entries in the language you’re learning and native speakers correct it--and then you correct their journals in exchange. obviously, you have to be a bit more advanced in japanese to manage this, but it’s very useful! your journals don’t have to be anything insightful--i remember writing one about how iced coffee is more popular in asia than it is in america and another about going to the grocery store. it’s also a good way to potentially meet ppl you may befriend and speak japanese to some day!

these next two are hella amazing. one is an app called imi wa? it’s a great dictionary app that helps you conjugate verbs, search kanji by not only radicals but by ‘primitives,’ and, best of all, has an analyze function which lets you paste in a block of text and defines all of them so you can translate sentences with much more ease. the other is rikai-kun (chrome), -chan (mozilla) and -sama (i forgot?). it’s another dictionary for ur browser that will let you scroll over words and immediately look over their definitions. you can develop an over reliance on it but at the beginning stages it’s going to be hella useful so, download it.

a great resource in particular to use with rikaikun is nhk easy , which is japanese news articles written for elementary and middle school students--and foreigners! you can set it so locations/names/businesses will appear in different colors and you can scroll over some words for definitions. the articles are also relatively short so i’d recommend going through at least one a day to practice your reading. also considering following japanese fans or artists on twitter and trying to translate their tweets--but if you find yourself getting overwhelmed by the number or length of tweets, don’t feel pressured to understand all of them. a lot of learning a language by yourself is trying to avoid frustrating yourself--since you’re studying alone, there’s nothing to keep you from giving up aside from yourself. so if you find yourself getting very frustrated, you should probably switch up what you’re doing.

in terms of practicing your listening skills, i’d recommend watching dramas. try to find half hour long dramas (or just watch half an hour long episode) and then immediately after watching the half hour, watch it again without subtitles. at first you’ll feel like you get absolutely nothing out of this, but stick with it.make sure not to play with your phone or distract yourself while listening. try to remember what the characters said or what’s going on in the episode. soon you’ll find yourself recognizing words!!! then phrases!!! then sentences!! then you’ll be able to understand it on your own!

if you really like anime, you can also watch anime at first or every once in a while--but i’d really recommend dramas. people in anime don’t speak like normal people do, but it can be easier to recognize words and such because their voices are clearer. dramas better reflect the way actual japanese people speak. (however i wouldn’t recommend watching something like terrace house because it is actual people talking and the mics aren’t perfect. if you’re a student, i’d say to watch high school dramas because they will contain words which may be relevant to you in your journals and while talking to ourself and what not!)

you can also rewatch episodes with the screen blackened, so you’re just listening to it? i personally think this is lots of fun but that’s just me.

songs tend to follow their own grammatical rhythms so they’re not too useful for studying aside from vocabulary.

the key, to me, at least, was to study every day. my schedule was:

1. talk to self.

2. study stress words (once a week go over all kanji)

3. half hour drama episode (watch twice)

4. nhk article

5. journal

6. memrise vocab

7. translating tweets

the key is to try to study every day and to make a schedule of your own which lines up with how much free time you have. you can divide drama episodes into ten minute blocks, read your article on the bus, write your journal before bed and do memrise while waiting in line at the grocery store. just find something which works for you--and don’t let yourself get frustrated. even if you’re tired as all fuck, try to at least reach your memrise goals or watch your drama episode, or whatever study method you find the most useful. it’s hard work, but be nice to yourself!

頑張って！

#i talked A LOT so i put it under a read more otl #answered #anonymous #Anonymous

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