#we'll never see it (because i can't be bothered to decorate it) but i imagine she's got an insane walk-in closet

[thebramblewood]

A lady vampire may be forced to spend half her day cooped up inside a dark coffin, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't always look her best. After all, you never know when an unexpected snack guest might arrive. And if you see a spot or two of blood... well, that's quite frankly none of your business!

CC linked below the cut!

Look 1: top + bottom + accessory bra / slippers / nails / towel (Spa Day)

Look 2: top + bottom / accessory robe / earrings / hair

Look 3: outfit (Simtimates) / blood 1 2 3 / hair

Look 4: outfit / accessory robe / hair

Look 5: outfit (Vintage Glamour)

Look 6: top / bottom / accessory robe / eye mask

Look 7: top + bottom

Look 8: outfit / hair

Look 9: outfit / hair

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 lookbook #sims 4 lookbook #ts4 cas #sims 4 cas #ts4 lingerie #sims 4 lingerie #simblr #the zhaoverse #lilith vatore #we'll never see it (because i can't be bothered to decorate it) but i imagine she's got an insane walk-in closet #where she houses her entire vintage wardrobe accrued over the past 100+ years most of which is still in pristine condition #(except for the occasional spillage) #caleb would call it hoarding but she would call it curation #anyway this is me saying “lilith doesn't wear athletic gear let's fill up two categories with loungewear instead!” #when helena sees her in that second number? #oh it's over #(now maybe i'll go work on the next story post) #blood tw

[tricky-pockets]

a very extended metaphor

Another question I've been asked is, essentially, "Why not just be a masculine woman?"

My real-world answers to this depend on whether or not the person's asking in good faith. Sometimes the answer is just "uh... because I don't wanna." Sometimes I turn the question around--if it's a perisex cis woman I know who's asking out of genuine curiosity, I might ask "If you woke up tomorrow with a perisex male body and you had a magic button that'd change you back, would you push it? Why? Why not just be a feminine man?" Or, alternately, "If you woke up tomorrow and for some reason everyone was calling you 'him' or 'sir' or by the wrong name, would that bother you?"

And that's all fine, that works. But on my own time, I asked myself the same question. The appeal of masculinity for me is partly rooted in the appeal of Man archetypes. I relate to those archetypes and I see myself in them. I relate to archetypes of bold, decisive action. I relate to archetypes of protectiveness. I relate to and see myself in the tropes and aesthetics of masculinity.

I don't think that women can't or shouldn't be decisive or protective. I don't think that men have to be those things, or that those things are part of a set of characteristics that clearly delineate masculinity. So why? Actually why am I not, then, comfortable in the identity of a masculine woman? That's what I want to talk about in today's pseudo-theory ramble.

So.

The trouble with putting the word 'aesthetic' anywhere near the word 'gender' is the potential to minimize the sincerity and importance of both things. So perhaps we'll just talk about art.

Every artist is participating in a very long conversation with history. Every visual artist, to some degree, makes use of culturally-constructed visual signifiers, even if it's only to subvert those meanings. Art evolves. Individual creative responses to the conditions of a time and place create movements in art. And that movement creates a new movement in response to it, and neither movement is incorrect. Bad art exists in every movement, but the important thing is that art never stops evolving. It is right and good, I think, for art to evolve forever.

Art hits everyone different. Even if everyone looking at it understands the denotations in a similar way, they relate to it differently. And when a person uses those meanings and techniques in their own art, they're reflecting them back through the lens of their own experience. Nobody's art is the same, and it would be bad if it was.

An artist might be part of a particular tradition or movement, or work in a particular medium. The important part is that they are simultaneously responding to what already exists and adding something for other artists to respond to. They're adding a wrinkle or a new combination that says something new about what art can be. It's a conversation. It's collective.

An artist's particular voice is important. It's part of who they are - it's part of how they answer humanity's questions and pose new questions to humanity. It shows what they find beautiful or meaningful on a level beyond appearance. It can be decorative, but it's rarely just decorative (and even this is not quite the right word because things that are "just" decorative can still be art).

Consider gender as a long tradition of an artistic medium. Oil painting or sumi-e. Imagine that I was trained and taught oil painting, and am a respectably competent oil painter. I did oil painting for a long time. I respect the medium and I see beauty and meaning in the many traditions of oil painting. Most of the oil painters I know are flourishing and inventing within that medium and are very certain that it is the best medium for them--it's an apt medium for expressing the things they want to, and they'll continue to advance and expand the medium for their whole lives. They take satisfaction in the process itself--in the texture of the paint, in the smell of the turpentine, in working from dark to light, in the vivid power of phthalo blue as it extends a single drop of pigment over an impossible breadth of canvas. I see beauty in this.

And then I look at sumi-e. I see the simultaneous starkness and fluidity of the ink. I'm fascinated with the entirely different set of constraints and conventions, and I wonder how they would change the experience of creating. I notice more and more cleverness and intricacy in the pieces the longer I look. I notice the differences from the style I learned. The more of that language I learn to read, the more beautiful it becomes to me. Something in that style calls to me and I long to call back to it. I see a single brushstroke and I feel the motion of it in my wrist, in my arm. And I have no ink.

Notice that the style and the medium interact. I thoroughly believe that oil paint can accomplish any artistic goal that sumi-e can. But the appeal to me isn't in the finished piece. It's in the experience of creating the piece. You can use oil paint to create art in sumi-e styles, and that will be powerful and beautiful alchemy.

But oil paint involves different tools, different techniques, and different constraints - which changes the experience. I want to work in sumi-e--and make no mistake, I want to invent in that medium, to expand on everything it has been--but I want the tools and constraints of that medium, too. I want the texture of the ink on the brush. I want the way the brush glides over the paper. I don't care if I'm never quite as good at the traditional styles. I'll be bringing my own hands to it, and maybe the combination of my training in oil and the new medium will even result in something very new. New, in conversation with the old styles, and still distinctly and truly sumi-e.

And, hell. Maybe I come back to the styles I learned, and see what happens if I try to do those in ink. But that's not the same as staying in, and inventing in, the medium I grew up with.

So, fundamentally, I don't think I was born an ink painter. But I think the way that sumi-e speaks to me is so significant that I can't go my whole life without ink, even if it means I can't work in oil anymore. Is sumi-e better at conveying emotion? At creating a particular atmosphere? At portraiture? No. I still want it.

I don't want anyone to be born an oil painter or an ink painter. I don't want either medium to completely adopt the styles of the other. I want both conversations to continue internally, and to interact and inspire each other where they meet. And I want there to be mixed-media art! And art that doesn't use paint at all! Some artists aren't visual; they're musicians!

Art is very big and always changing, always evolving, always full of conversations, and it only gets bigger and richer for styles interacting and influencing each other. Art doesn't leave things behind as long as we still care about them, make use of them, and are influenced by them. Classical styles are never done speaking to us, even if we mostly don't work strictly in those styles anymore. We can find an ancient vase from a long-dead culture, and bring a spark of that style to life in our own. We can create weird new shit that makes us ask what art even is.

Art can be serious, can be silly, can be deep, can be decorative, and it's all art. Some art is seen as bad because it is new and it diverges from the range of respected styles of the time. Try as hard as you can to stop it, though, people are irrepressible and will make beautiful art with a stick in the dirt if they have to. Having paint is better and we should make sure people have access to paint. We shouldn't stop there. Give people access to any art supplies they want, and let their art be seen. Value and encourage it - not so that you get good art (though you will), but because it's abhorrent to strangle anyone's opportunity to flourish and create and participate in the cacophany of humanity speaking to itself.

Art can be a big part of your life or not. People don't have to make art, but nobody can avoid seeing it. Let people see art, too. We could enforce rules like "all art must be landscapes in the impressionist style." This might discourage most people from making other art, but it won't stop all of them and it won't make people happier. It will, however, ensure that any (excuse me) deviant art they create is regarded as bad art, or not really art at all.

It's okay if you don't "get" a style of art. Lots of people don't get modern art. Lots of people end up liking (or at least granting 'real art' status to) modern art once they learn enough about what they're looking at and why anyone would make it. It's still okay if it never really lands for you. But it's very stupid to insult the artist and their work and decide that nothing important is happening if you're not interested in taking part in the conversation, and if you don't even care about what's being said.

For me, this conversation is a great part of being human. We invent when we encounter a variety of expression different from our own - it inspires us. Art isn't all we are, but everyone should be allowed to do it. I do not want to get rid of art. I do not want to get rid of oil painting. I do not want to decide what kind of art people are allowed to make.

I don't want to make people do art. I don't want to assign people a medium that doesn't call to them. And I especially don't want to tell anyone "You must create art, and you must create it in this medium, in this style, because you were born with that set of sex characteristics." How ridiculous that would be. How unjust. How sad.

#gender #transgender #crude stumbling towards queer theory #who the hell am I writing this stuff for #sam tag 🌌

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: ���🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[hessirius]

Can I?

(Grayson Dolan x Actress!Reader)

Summary:Reader is Belle in the latest movie, Beauty and the Beast. Her boyfriend, Grayson, always imagined himself in the slow dance scenes. Reader makes his dreams become reality on their anniversary.

Warnings: None really. Pure Fluff.

~~~~~~~

You exited the theater, arm looped around Grayson's. You were filled with pride at how the movie turned out, after months of hard work, it payed off. Your grin was practically permanently drawn across your face, probably making you look like an idiot, but you couldn't care.

Making your way to the doors, you exited the premiere alongside Grayson and headed towards the car. However, you quickly noticed something was off when Grayson didn't open the car door for you like he usually did, but you quickly shrugged it off and entered the car.

The ride home was unusually thick with tension, it was unbearable. Deciding to break the defeaning silence, you ask a question that has been nagging you.

"Did you like the movie?" you hoped for a yes. You really really did.

"Yeah! It was amazing! The amount of effort and production put into it was clear," he enthusiastically said, turning around to give you a forced smile before turning to focus on the road.

Although you beamed with pride at the compliments, the fake smile still bothered you. "Gray.."

"Hm?"

"What's bothering you?" you asked with concern laced in your voice and a frown etched on your face.

"Nothi-"

"It's obvious it's not nothing, so please Grayson tell me the truth," you intervened.

He sighed, "I.. I just wished that I was with you in the ballroom scene," he mumbled under his breath.

"Gray I can't hear you."

"I said I just wish I was with you in that ballroom scene. You looked gorgeous, the dance was amazing, the song was amazing, I just wanted to be there you know," he said quickly.

"Gray.." I squeezed his hand "I had no idea you felt that way...Look I promise that we'll do that one day," I offered.

"For real?" he asked with a growing smile on his face.

"Yeah, for real," I smiled.

~~~~~~~~

*3 months later*

Everything was set up, you were sure about it after triple-checking. All that's left was him arriving. You tried to control your nerves while waiting for him, but nothing worked. You pulled out your phone to look at the time, 12:13 am, he should be her-

Your ears perked up at the sound of the bell and before you knew it you opened the door to a huge bouquet filled with a variety of flowers, held by none other than Grayson. Dressed in a white button up with rolled up sleeves, black dress pants and black shoes, he looked straight out of a magazine.

"You seriously had to bring me a garden in a bouquet didn't you?" you teased.

"Yeah, yeah, happy one year anniversary to you too," he rolled his eyes and leaned to give you a kiss before he was rudely interrupted by you pushing him back.

"We need to go!" you quickly put the flowers in a vase before dragging him out to the car and starting it.

"You know, you never told me where we're going," he said while opening your car door.

"That's because I didn't intend to. Just trust me," you shot back when he entered the car.

"How am I supposed to trust you when you texted me 'don't make reservations and tell E you'll be back past midnight?" he quickly countered back.

"You'll just have to! C'mon we're almost there anyway, just 8 more minutes!"

"Fine," he groaned, giving in.

When you finally reached your destination, you barely managed to lock the car before sprinting inside with Grayson in hand. Nerves turning to excitement, coursing through your veins and making your heart thump out of its place.

You walked into a beautiful seating area with antique furniture placed all around and beautiful gold trimmed tapestry. The decoration and placement playing a role in the elegance of it all. Walking into a hallway, covered in stunning paintings, you quickly reached the desired area.

Both of you stood at the top of a beige marble staircase, leading into a huge room with the most intricate architecture and golden accents strewn around strategically. Antique pieces finding their places in the room. On the opposite side of you, stood an identical staircase to the one you were currently stood on.

"Still have no idea what we're doing here," Grayson reminded me. You turned to see his awe-filled wide eyes roaming every part of the room, pausing to stare at the crystal chandelier hanging from the middle of the ceiling.

"Well. I actually need you to go to the other staircase there and turn right. You'll find a door, enter. You'll also find an outfit, wear it. A 20 minute timer will start the minute you walk in, once it's done you walk out and face me. Got it?" You quickly informed him, the anticipation starting to kick in.

"Um..yeah, but what about you?"

"I'll be doing the same thing except on this side. Now go!" you pushed him towards the other side of the room. He quickly descended down the stairs and crossing the room, all the while scanning everything, thankfully missing the cameras you set up.

After he climbs up the staircase and disappears right, you enter your own room. You were met with an ocean of yellow in the form of a dress. Displayed on a hanger, its sleeves wide apart and stopping at the tip of where the shoulders would be, flowing into a beautiful gown. Decorated with intricate swirls at the bottom and catching the light, the dress was breathtakingly beautiful.

Remembering the time limit, you quickly shed your clothes and slip into the dress. You zip up the back and turn to look at the mirror. It fits perfectly, seeing as it was sewn just for you. You quickly pull a couple strands of hair and join them in a small bun at the back of your head, supporting it with golden clips that were placed on the beige counter. You slip on the golden heels by the mocca couch and hear the timer go off. Perfect timing.

You swing the door open and take 3 strides before facing Grayson's side, only to see him standing there. Your eyes widen once you take in his appearance. He was wearing a long cardigan-like navy suit jacket that had beautiful gold edges, underneath was a white vest with delicate embroidery. Adorning a pair of navy pants and navy dress shoes, matching the rest of the look. He looked drool-worthy.

Meanwhile, Grayson was convinced he was about to combust. Sure he thought his outfit was weird, but now all his doubts faded away as he looked at you from across the room. The dress you were wearing, fit you so perfectly and truly made you look like you came right out of a fairytale book. Your hair tied back, showing your face. You looked exquisite and Grayson had to remind himself to inhale when he realised he wasn't breathing.

You slowly descended down the stairs, silently commanding him to do the same. You met the end of the stairs and walked towards him. You both stood in the middle of the room silently taking the other in when you asked, "Grayson Dolan, can I have this dance?" he looked at you with a confused look.

"With no music?"

"Right. Alexa, please play the ballroom playlist," you called out to the Alexa placed on one of the antique tables set against a wall.

As 'Tale As Old As Time' started playing, you held out your hand again and said, "Can I?" with an extended hand and a raised eyebrow.

He looked at you with a small smile and replied, "You can." He placed his hand on yours before saying, "I don't know how to slow dance so don't expect amazing moves."

"Just follow my lead," you smiled at him.

Slowly, you moved your feet and told him instructions and before you knew it, you were slow dancing. You looked up only to see him staring at his feet. You tilted his chin up to meet your eyes.

"I don't wanna step on your feet," he said worriedly.

"It's alright if you do Gray," you reassured him.

"Where did this idea come from?" he asked curiously.

"Well, when you said you wished you were in the ballroom scen at the premiere. I tried my best to recreate it. Trust me, when I say, that I love this more than the one in the movie," you give him a wide smile as he twirled you and brought you back to him.

"How did you do all of this?"

"Well I called the producers up and asked if I could borrow the dress, which they agreed to. I booked this ballroom a week ago and I worked with a designer on your outfit for about a month," I shrugged.

"I can't freaking believe you did this all for me," he said with an incredulous tone to his voice and the biggest smile.

"Gray, you deserve this and so much more than this. I'd do it all for you Gray, because I love you."

He didn't hesitate before leaning down to meet my lips into the most passionate kiss we've had, I felt a thousand emotions in it and I never wanted it to end. We parted for air and rested our foreheads against each other's.

"I love you too."

.

.

.

.

.

SO CHEESYYY. I'm sorry for all the sappiness, I just had to write it. Tell me what you think!

#grayson dolan x reader #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan x you #grayson dolan x you #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson and ethan #dolan twins #fluff #beauty and the beast #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fic #grayson dolan one shot #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan one shot #grayson dolan fluff #ethan dolan fluff #dolan twins fluff #dolan twins fic #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins one shot #can i #can i?

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

08 - Confession

This chapter's songs:

Off and On; SALES

Heaven; Clairo

A Pearl; Mitski

- Y.L. Perspective

   "Hey."

   The word is distant yet close, making me gasp awake. When my eyes open, I'm in sight of the foggy wet window causing pitter-patter in front of me. 'It rained.' I thought, looking out to the concrete that was soaked. Not that it bothered me; rain was one of the many things that I enjoyed.

  Coming back to reality, I notice that the scenery outside is too familiar, and not long after do I realize we're parked right outside of my house, waiting for me to awake. At first, I'm completely tripped out that I had teleported from the skate park to here, but it was just a generous favor from Sugawara.

  And suddenly, everything from last night comes to mind.

  After Suga had kissed first me, we'd spent more than enough time on each other's faces. But the last thing I remember is sopping down on my seat and falling asleep, worn out, instead of coming up with an excuse of why I made the stupid decision of making out with him. There was not one thing fair about me knocked out in his passenger seat while he reflected on my behalf as well.

But thankfully it appeared Koushi didn't care all that much. Getting me home was one of his priorities this morning.

  "What time is it?" I yawn, stretching out my limbs as far as they can go, but that's only to where the seat's leg space ends.

   "It's ten AM. But it's a Saturday, so you should probably get some rest today. You went to sleep pretty late last night, and you didn't look very comfortable." He describes, leaning on the door window, staring at the pouring rain. It enlightened me that Suga cares about my rest, but what about him? From what I understand, he stayed up just as long as I did. If not, longer.

  So, I decided I should offer something that I was hoping wouldn't make him uncomfortable or jump to conclusions. "Uhm...if you're tired then you can come in too, and we can just stay here for the day until you wanna go home, " I tell him, mirroring his action, and resting both my head and arm on the window.

  The invitation seemed to surprise him, for he had quickly whirled his head towards me, asking, "Wait, are you sure? Y-your mom won't be mad that I'm over? Cause– you know..." he trails off, anxiously pressing his palms together, and looking downwards. It came off that he felt almost ashamed that we shared an intimate moment, which wasn't something that he should be responsible for. But even so, I still wanted to spend more time with him. If I'm being completely honest, I wasn't sure if it was because I liked him, or because he was such a refreshing person to be around, but he made me feel better than I had felt in a long time.

   "Suga, I'm sure. Look, if you don't wanna hang out that's fine. I was just asking because you seemed tired and said you don't wanna be home right now." My eyes snake from his chest to his eyes, hoping it would give him an understanding that I really wanted him to come inside. "So, do you wanna?"

  Sugawara gulps in nervousness, clearing his throat before speaking. "Uh, yeah. Sure. But we better hurry up, or we'll get soaked."

- K. S. Perspective

   I wait behind her light brown painted door, running my hands through my damp hair. Small noises of clatter are heard, while I uncomfortably stand outside of her room, waiting for her to open up. To be honest, I wasn't sure about being casually invited into her house after last night. All that ran through my head was, 'did she even like it? Does she feel uncomfortable? What if she wants to go further?

Should I confess right now?'

Finally, her door pops open, revealing her in a change of comfortable clothing and the room behind her. "Uhm, come in," she says, pulling the door wider for me to come in. The room consisted of regular decorations I thought she'd have: anime and music artist posters, a random guitar, a few color-changing lights, and a bean bag chair. "I know it's weird and all. I guess I just haven't gotten the chance to redo my room."

"No, it's—it's fun," I tell her, sticking my hands in my pants pocket. I had to say, it'd been quite a while since I'd been in a girl's room so casually. Not that I was jumping to conclusions, but I was hoping she'd want to discuss things over what had happened. That way I could make it clear to her that I wasn't playing around with her feelings.

  She shuffled towards her messy bed, turning towards me, before falling backward onto it. Her loud yawn and stretch echo throughout the room, as well as the low music that she had playing on a home speaker on her dresser. As much as I wanted to feel relaxed, I hardly could. I felt almost scared to stand in her room alone right after we had made out. All I could think of was running my hand against her skin, and rubbing my lips against her hot neck. Now she was casually laying on her bed, looking back at me with absolutely no expression.

  "Come, come, " she says, holding out a hand towards me, which makes my anxiety advance to an entirely new level. But following her orders, I hesitantly take it, quickly being pulled to where she laid. The sudden action has me wide-eyed and rested on my side, facing only Y/n. Though I tried hiding my uneasiness, she eventually broke my cover with a simple sentence. "I feel so tired. Don't you?"

I nod, before gulping almost too loudly. However, Y/n keeps her gaze on me, gradually making her eye rests longer. Feeling the dirtiest in the room, I begin to distance myself from her stature, removing the dark paid cover-up that spread over my shoulders, as well as a few accessories I had and tossed them on a small desk at the side of her bed. Then, I took out my phone, deciding it was best to talk to Daichi about everything; I was hoping my friends weren't angry I had ditched them so suddenly.

—

Daichi

How was the party?

Weren't you there?

I left earlier than expected

Around what time?

12:00 AM

That's not that early

Anyways, it was fine I guess

Everyone was being stupid and drunk

I know, good thing I didn't stay so long

Miya said you left with Y/n-?

Yeah, but I just took her out cause she wasn't having a good time

Well, I just took her to some park where we spent the night in my car and I drove her home today

Now we're just napping in her room

I thought you said you wanted to see how things went with her :(

Don't worry we didn't do anything

At least not something extreme

What'd you do??

Uh

We just kind of made out for a few minutes

But it wasn't bad or anything

It was nice

Pls don't tell anybody because I'm not sure how to tell her yet

That you're in love with her?? Ahh ok-.-

I'm not in love with her,

Koushi, you told me you've never wanted to want to make somebody feel loved the way you did Y/n.

Well

Uh

Whatever

Are you coming to the practice game today?

Oh yeah

What time

In like thirty minutes

Are you serious

But I needed to talk to y/n

I was gonna wait till she woke up

Sorry man

Just leave her a note you'll be back?

Yeah, ok

----

As Daichi had told me to, I decided to find the nearest paper and pen that sat lazily on Y/n's desk. But instead of tossing a few words to excise my absence, I thought of doing something very stupid and risky.

I left a love letter.

At first, I felt as if I was being nothing but a coward for not telling her personally. What would she think if I had just run off and left a confession for her to run through my herself? But after realizing that I could let her think things through, I thought it was the best idea I had that entire year.

And so, I wrote my feelings down quicker than ever imagined, fitting in what I could to convince Y/n of my love for her.

To y/n,

This is one of the most idiotic things I could have done to tell you, but I have a practice game and I can't afford to miss practice right now. As you know, I'm on the edge of having my position taken.

Y/n, after about a week of knowing you I realized that you make me feel like a better person. When I hear your voice or get the benefit of making you smile, it feels like I'm on a high off of you. You're the most beautiful, talented girl have ever met in my life. Without you, I don't think I could have lasted this first week.

I remember the feeling you gave me when we were younger. Even if you didn't talk to me, or didn't acknowledge my existence very much, I still wanted to discover every corner of you. I thought I wouldn't have ever met someone that I was so passionate about like I was for you. And when our first year of high school ended, I felt heartbroken by the fact that I didn't get to tell you how I felt about you. How your essence made my heart warm, how your skin makes me crave touching you, how much space you filled up in my small brain.

When I had seen you on the bus that one morning, I couldn't believe how much you've grown. I know this is personal for you, but you were in a bad state, and it caused me pain to see that you felt alone, and you didn't know how much I cared for you. So when I saw how much you were taking care of yourself, it brought me to hope that I could do the same. If you didn't already know, after my mom had died, I started creating bad habits and ruined my self-portrait. I felt like there was no way out, and that I was useless. But then I met you, again. You brought me to become a better person for myself, Y/n.

I don't want to rush you into anything, but I feel like I should confess to you that I'm in love with you. I've never had the feelings I have for you. Every day I find myself thinking of how lovely you are. And after what had happened last night, I realized, why wait? Why wait to tell you this the way I did in my first year? If I did, then I'm gonna run out of time. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything, Y/n. I think I'm scared that you won't look at me the same, or that you think I'm a burden to you. But at this point, I think I've run out of space to store what I feel for you.

Overall, I love you, Y/n. Please, do me the honor of being with me.

Love, Koushi.

—

I'M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A SHORT CHAPTER YOU GUYS<\3. But I hope you appreciate it. Please comment and note bc it really helps

As always, I love you guys

- estrxlar

[thequeensofmemes]

Reign Quotes

I never saw any ghosts.

But what if they saw you?

She had skinny legs, a missing front tooth, and opinions.

My dear, this was not an act of passion. It was treason.

Love is irrelevant to people like us.

I wonder whose face you're imagining in that target.

I would rather have hope with you than certainty with anyone else.

Win or lose, you will answer for it. That's what kings do.

You do have a way of leaving chaos in your wake.

She's not just an alliance. She's a girl.

I'm not sure words mean anything here.

We'll prove to them that our union is strong.

Treat them as friends until they prove themselves foes.

Contrary to public opinion, I do not relish destroying people's homes.

I don't care what you learn, as long as you don't forget.

We have positioned ourselves for the worst kind of pain.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

I take things sometimes. It makes me feel better.

To see you smile is to feel the sun, your grace.

Do you flirt with everyone?

I'd probably say yes.

Killing isn't supposed to be easy. If your hands weren't shaking, you'd be him.

Close to death, apparently.

I'm glad that my unhappiness gives you so much pleasure.

Don't let fear keep you from greatness.

It could cost you your head.

If servants are gossiping about your unmade bed, it is too late to rectify the situation.

Men must find something to kill from time to time.

Accept that I have lost. I have.

I'm in a nunnery of one.

That's the kind of talk that gets bastards--and mistresses--beheaded.

History is written by the survivors. And I am surely that.

Tell me when you want me to stop.

Happiness is the one thing we queens can never have.

Arming yourself against me? Am I really that frightening?

Am I really stupid enough to find out?

My mother, she was behind this as well?

All her crimes against me were because she loved you.

I grow weary of your threats.

I grew weary of you a decade ago.

That half-blind portrait artist didn't realize I was sitting in a chair while my sister was standing, and now half the kingdom thinks I’m a dwarf.

Love is irrelevant to people like us, a privilege that we do not share.

There are two things I can't abide, betrayal and stupidity.

Next time you see a threat large or small, you cut it down like a weed.

I don't want to do this to you.

Too bad you didn't see this one coming.

When the ax falls on your neck, I will be there.

Off with you child. You've killed me enough for one day.

I don't 'attempt' to do anything--I do it.

Nature is not malignant.

Must I do everything? Shall I catch my head in my own hands, too?

So I sent you here to wed a king and find you engaged to a bastard.

Despite what you may think, I never intended to harm your family.

Sooner or later, blood will be spilled. It's just a matter of whose.

So he is mad...and a mad king incites chaos and rebellion.

I don't make love to you because I want a baby. I want a baby because I love you.

Those who look upon it are taken. And those who are taken die.

We are royals. We have the power to do terrible things. Without trust, we're nothing.

You? What do you have to complain about? You're now married to a beautiful woman of noble birth.

I won't pretend I love you, but we should probably start liking each other, at least.

My first duty is not to my mother.

Don't you think a royal crown suits me?

I'm too rich to care what people say.

Look where our hearts have led us. We've brought you shame.

I suppose innocence is all relative.

I always want to be there for you.

Don't beg. It invites pity and disdain.

Do all married couples have these struggles?

I think you've redefined marital discord.

Nothing bothers me more than problems I've already solved coming back to be problems again.

Am I the only one in this bed with something to forget?

I never dreamt that I'd be wed to a bastard with an imaginary title.

Losing bothers me.

Trust is a luxury I can no longer afford.

You shouldn't have to live like this.

What happens when being a good king means being a bad husband?

I don't need to be part of your schemes.

You no longer have the privilege of obeying your heart!

It isn't fair, the privileges we are given...or the prices we must pay for them.

When you are alone and miserable, remember this was the moment you threw your happiness away.

This marriage is no longer something that happened to me...you are what I want.

Don't get sentimental about a father who was never sentimental about you.

His life was there for the taking. So I took it.

Royals are always at war.

An interesting choice. Assuming you let her know she has one.

All I have to offer you...is me.

I've come to offer you something. The destruction of our mutual enemy.

Common lore is that your teeth are filed into points and your eyes are black with rage.

Ruling requires that your hands be drenched in blood.

What else could I be but a witch?

You are my husband and my king.

You crushed the rebellion by yourself.

If we die, it is at her hands. And if we live I will never forgive her for this.

I'm saying that should anything happen to either of us I hope that you'll remember me not as the man who lied or betrayed you, I hope you'll remember me as the man who would have cherished you if he'd had the chance.

And real love never fades, not truly.

Just know whatever happens, this is not the end I dreamed for us.

I refuse to surrender. My reign will not end without a fight.

Whose blood concerns you more, your husband or your lover's?

All that stands between him and the crown is my head.

Is this how it's going to be from now on? Both of us constantly wondering what the other is up to?

Long live his majesty.

Contempt alone is not enough to condemn a man. Even the contempt of a king.

We're all basically fallen women.

Our love will die here.

It was rather a miracle.

Just don't expect a fond farewell from me. Or my trust. Ever again.

Do not test my power and do not tempt my fury.

If I'm as responsible as you say, I will never forgive myself.

I never imagined you'd kill him by breaking his heart.

The truth of your betrayal was the last thing that he heard before he collapsed.

I will spill blood to defend what's mine.

So you're my new keeper.

You are a necessary evil whose orbit I can't seem to escape.

But you have to know, that no matter your choices, you still have a husband who would do anything to make you happy.

I opened my heart to a liar.

And now I am lying for you, lying even to my brother, protecting you as you take comfort in the arms of another.

Build a future controlled by you, not the changeable heart of a woman.

When you were a child, there were dozens of little girls whose families begged me for that position, but I chose you because you played well together, because you didn't hurt or throw mud at her. But now you have done both.

You are on the cusp of losing your country.

You poisoned a king and a queen and I helped you get away with it. We each hold a noose for the other.

What I meant is your official mourning period is over.

You say that as if I just won a prize. You can't be serious.

Thank you for pointing out the obvious and will you please stop doting on my mother!

Thank you for pointing out the obvious and will you please stop doting on my mother!

Because I love you. And one of us should be happy.

There are those who merely believe they have power, and there are those who actually have it.

Oh, is that caring? It sounds to me like a man trying to tighten his grip on a woman.

Such haste! I haven't properly mocked you for saving the life of your mother's worst enemy.

Congratulations, you've used your knowledge of the heart's noblest emotion to manipulate and destroy someone.

I don't feel strong. I feel like I'm sleepwalking and I don't know how to wake up.

I will be your wife in name only.

Look where that love has brought us.

At least my family will cry at my funeral.

She sent you to woo me, didn't she?

The only alliance I'm interested is temporary, delicious and bad.

Do not seek to take before I can give.

here are some lines I will not cross even to save myself.

I wanted to give you the chance to do the right thing and I still believe you will.

It's a very romantic story, actually. Father threatened to kill them both if they didn't marry.

I need to handle this on my own and to do it my way. What I need from you is to be patient and to believe in me.

My dear, never give up a crown to anybody.

Are you seriously, seriously suggesting that you want to watch me bathe in return for getting my dowry back?

You know that as a Queen, you put on an act. You can't always show what's in your heart. The same is true for being a wife.

We're women. We're not allowed to have things of our own.

Do you worry that I can't bear you a child?

Does it bring us closer for you to know that your failure disappoints me beyond words?

In the name of justice and tolerance you will drive your people to civil war.

My ladies brought this to me months ago. I read it in an hour.

Have you ever been in love?

Don't you turn your back on me. I am more than your friend. I am your Queen!

I can't be ruled by desire. It's nothing to build a life on.

Your figure's gonna go to hell anyway so you might as well eat up. You are feeding the future King.

It's been some weeks now but I wanted to be sure and I am sure. I am with child, our child, at last!

You lie to your guests and then you threaten them with weapons? We will not be treated this way!

Asking you to know your place is like asking the sun not to shine.

It's must be hard. Once a Queen, now the Queen Mother. Decorative, like an expensive vase.

There's a new day coming, and you are on the wrong side.

Are all powerful men so insecure?

Innocent men shouldn't die alone.

You think you're untouchable, that your sins will stay buried, but they don't.

Of all the people you could have slept with, did it have to be one of my ladies? One of my closest friends?

I am your Queen. I command you.

One bedroom for husband and wife. Good luck with that!

Am I really planning a life, a future, without you?

I will not live in fear of her.

Are you trying to blame a woman for a man’s choices?

It was your spies who got that information to me wasn’t it.

I hope your wings are strong you vulture! You will be circling for quite some times.

What’s the cost of a king’s life?

I always knew we would be wed. Even when I first returned.

I see such beauty. Such beauty you have brought me.

You must wed again. You must love again.

I will never love anyone, the way I love you.

I can’t let him go.

Let him go, and hold on to me.

We were suppose to dance under the stars.

I may still a Queen.

Is that it? Our courtship is over. Was I wrong in thinking it was going well?

No matter what you might think, I can’t just force men to fall in love with me.

That is not a strategy.

I am a queen, about to marry a broken Prince for power...

I need proof before the wedding happens.

You two have become thick as thieves.

Do you still hold it agents me that I defended her agents a false accusation of murder?!

It's time to accept my fate

I will not be chased out of my country before I’ve even retuned.

I will fight fire, with fire.

The day may come where we may find ourselves on the battle field. What would you do then?

Impressive. Where did you learn to shoot like that?

Those memories are a part of me.

You love power!

You despise me, yet you expect a free ride!

I think I shall never see you again.

We have to stop them.

Give me your sword.

You took my heart! And now I’ve come to repay you.

I have come for my throne.

Queens do not bow to their subjects. It is in-fact, quite the other way around.

And may God, and your Queen. Have mercy of your soul.

Men don’t like taking orders from woman, they can barely stand speaking to them.

He knows I speak the truth.

Who cares about right or wrong, if you're dead!

I don’t have much to live for these days, but I would still die for my children.

She does have her moments doesn't she.

I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother you wanted me to be. I did my best.

Why would my presence startle you? Oh because you married my lover.

You requested a five course meals, I offer you seven!

Your love, it gave him so much joy, and that's what you must remember.

How can I pray to God, when I am certain he doesn’t not hear me.

My election could mean the end of your nation.

If I cannot disprove these charges I will swing from a rope.

What if he dies?!

We were here! We were playing a game of chess- which I won.

From the moment you were born, our relationship has been complicated.

We live in a word that undervalues woman.

I may be guilty of favouring my sons over my daughters.

And when you are wed, and you leave this home, it will break my heart.

You are offering me a kindness, a consideration I have rarely shown to you over the years.

Is it so unthinkable, a crime might take place in this castle that I had nothing to do with.

The butcher still insists on his innocents.

Just remember. Enjoy him, but never trust him.

I won’t be frightened into your arms by a dead rat, or a dead Cardinal!

If you think you are not going to talk, you are mistaken.

I don’t understand why we have to take time to visit the Generals.

A king should always deliver good news in person. Bad news should be sent by a messenger. Or let them find out on their own.

Go take back your country.

Our union is damaged beyond repair.

That’s the most flattering thing you’ve ever said to me.

Please tell me that wasn't you.

I need you here, too see you, even if I can’t touch you.

I am paying the price. I feel like a prisoner.

I am their Queen. Their whispers are treason.

Your highness, you are a vision.

This thing between us. It must end.

I’m ready to accept his proposal.

If is a fact of our time. A man rules his wife. Even if his wife is a Queen.

And it will be the challenge of my life, not to kill her.

Perhaps I forgot what it means to be a queen.

I shall never name an heir unless it is my own child.

To name a successor is to place a target on one's self.

Perhaps it better to outright refuse him. Be brutal and direct.

Don’t misjudge me. I am my father’s son.

All that’s left now, is for me to enjoy my final hours.

Well, I suppose you’ll have to settle with being the Queen of two nations, not three.

You cannot keep me in a cage. Even one built with love.

We were meant to be happy, and we were. But I have another fate.

Show people you are worthy of the post you hold, and no one will remember how you rose to it.

Love is never simple. Not that I'm any expert.

I was willing to give up so much for you. But now I want you out of my life. Forever.

Why must the fate of nations be decided in a shared bed?

I receive a letter from him nearly everyday. And I haven’t read one.

I can’t image what the night must be without the man you truly love.

Please go. While I still have the courage to say goodbye.

Sons of cobblers, doesn’t get to be with princesses.

I need to believe, that who we are, matters more than our station.

You are who you're born into, and nothing more than people say you are. You can pretend otherwise, but the world won’t pretend with you.

If you go on this mission. I’ll stop loving you!

From now on, you're only allowed to dream about me.

I have many children of my own you know. Some of them turn out quite well.

She is actually dead in’t she?

What is power, without love.

Be grateful for the fun you had, you must have know your time would come.

I expect you’ll be wearing that when we play cards tonight.

She handles tragedy with ruthless clarity.

I will not help you with this

Ask anyone. I’m as fickle as they come.

It's hard for all of us. Being part of this family.

I may be young, and inexperienced, but I promise I’ll give you an heir.

What’s this play about?

It’s a comedy about royals.

I hear the princess is worth looking at.

It's funny isn't in. Both of us here, we already know we've had our one true love.

You must rule your own heart, as firmly as you rule your subjects.

We may be the enemy, but I am not without my manners.

Your light as a feather, I swear!

Would you be interested in anything else? My chambers for example…

There’s the smile I was hoping for.

Allow me to charm you so more, and we’ll work on that next part.

Men forget, that woman have ears.

My child will be heir to her throne, to both Nations.

This is a course you cannot step back from. And if you take it, I fear I am looking at a dead woman.

We all die. The question is what we stood for while we lived.

Have you already named our children? Or did you leave that part for me?

I did not expect to like you. But I do.

Earn my respect then, as I earn the respect of my men. In combat!

Duels only lead to dead men, not respect.

Fists then. A boxing match. If you win, I bend the knee. But if I win, you will withdraw your marriage offer to the Queen.

I let you win that race.

How dare you, didn't you notice that I defied the queen of England for you!?

I’m going to be your husband.

I had a husband! and I loved him and he was murdered in cold blood before my eyes.

Before I met you, I loved someone. In that way that should've lasted a lifetime, but it didn't.

Let the danger come.

You will be my husband in name only. And we will never be happy.

It is my duty, my God-given birthright and my crown. And I will defend it from anyone who attempts to take it.

I had hoped that our marriage would be a partnership in every way. but with your drinking, your cheating, your blind ambition...

I know we hardly know each other, and yet here I am, asking you to risk everything for me.

With or without your crown. I would do anything for you.

I made you King. But we will never be equals.

You can’t expect everyone to be glad you are back at Court, some of us know you.

He will hang. And I will enjoy watching him die.

I didn't kill him, but justice needed to be done.

This vile act will not ease your pain!

Revenge is not meant to ease pain. It is meant to balance the scales.

He was an innocent man!

Men will never willingly bow to the weaker sex.

I put my trust in you, my Lord.

Well surely you don’t blame me.

How nice of you to take time out of your grievance to mock me.

What about the shame you've brought to this family? Not to mention this country and to God himself?!

I've learned never trust the beginning of a book.

I know this isn't what you wanted, but for now, this marriage will protect you.

When the time is right, I can make you a widow.

We need to show them you are not a monster, by showing them what you really are. A King.

Perhaps I shall have your throat slit in your sleep. Or have the villagers do it for me when they come for us to root out the beast we have protected.

I should have your entire family burned at the stake.

He was born first! That's all he has to do.

I have always put my children first. I have done terrible things! I have always done it for their good. But are they worth it?

Tell your son to come to court. Or I will have him dragged here. On his knees.

I will not be remembered as the Queen that drew first blood.

And I can't bear to lose you.

Our affair puts you in danger.

I won't ever tire of you.

He is a long-term confidante. A skilled advisor and diplomat, whose journeys, for the Crown, have met with spectacular success.

I represent something glorious, for everyone. And if you want to banish every person who is dazzled by me, we'll be a nation of mainly women.

You are more precious to me than my nation.

Speak! While there is still mercy in my heart!

I will bow to no man

I will face ever threat to my reign with sword in hand. And any who shall stand in my way shall fall.

I cannot have her blood on my hands. And I cannot let her go.

Look how far you’ve come. Trading your heart to rise in station.

Now that I know how things really work around here. I'm interested in getting to know you better.

Why should I be interested in you?

I was starting to think you didn't have it in you.

But let me offer some advice: next time you threaten someone, make sure you have proof. A theory is nothing more than a feather.

I am on no one's side, but my own.

Get out of my Court!

It’s fine. A daughter joining her mother for an evening stroll is hardly a crime.

The tears might be a bit much.

In a year, everything will be different. I'll have an heir.

I won’t fall in love with him. I promise!! Please have faith in me.

I was almost sent to a nunnery for following my heart!

I lost both the man I love and the man I could have loved.

I'm asking you to marry me. but I’m begging you to save your own life.

Tell me this. Do you think we can be happy together?

Your food is regularity tested for poison.

You're so clever.

Your lies come so easily.

You invited me here because you think of me, as often as I think of you.

He does have his father’s history to overcome.

I am an ambitious man. And if this is my one chance at King, I will take it.

If I am King for only as long as you live, then I say long live the Queen.

I don’t want to find love. I want to be loved.

It wasn’t easy, I paid a fortune.

The inevitable War of Two Queen.

May matrimony set you on a more honorable path.

I am married to the most powerful man in the world.

Stop starting at me witch!

You're a beautiful, ambitious, young woman who's learned to pull the strings of men, and yed can't see when her own strings are being pulled.

Being married to a woman who is in love with another, isn’t exactly the ideal union I dreamed of either.

Bastards and cheaters are not welcome on the Throne.

You will have love or an heir, but not both.

Lie to me again, and I will open you up right here, in your own house.

If you have a baby that isn’t yours, you’ll hang, unless you cooperate.

#meme #ask meme #sentence meme