#what the FUCK was the voleth mier plot

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Shadow and Bone fandom: season two took all these different plot points from the books and crammed them all in s2 without pacing it right and it's like all disorganized!!!!!

Witcher Fandom after a s2 filled with at least five shitty adaptations of scenes/storylines from the books and at least three shittier entirely original plotlines:

#NO SHADE TO SAB yall are free to critique #i myself am still getting around to continuing it 0-0 #im just like #'wait... you guys are getting a s2 w/ plot points from the books?' #mine #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone #the witcher #witcher #what the FUCK was the voleth mier plot

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ Jaskier rant/vent ♡

Hiya, here is a long ass rant/vent about my Netflix Witcher frustrations with how the show-runners are treating Jaskier's character. Because even though I love the books and games, I couldn't give a rat's ass about the changes Lauren made to the witcher plot. Because if it were to be adapted into a show following the source material word for word, page for page, it wouldn't be worth watching because I already know the damn story. It's refreshing to see these changes, new ideas etc. But ofc, I do still have a bone to pick with them.

The venting part:

Ok, so you know how in my bio it says that this is a Jaskier centric blog and that Jaskier deserves to be loved? Yeah, that's because I'm salty AF, the saltiest motherfucker on Earth right now. Because the way Netflix or...mostly Lauren treat Jaskier as a character on this show is atrocious! A beloved fan favorite they intend to milk but know not how, using him instead as nothing other than comedic relief and the occasional tool to move the plot in a certain direction.

They're stingy with his character development, with his screen time, with complexity. When we see him in pain it is later dismissed, as if it never happened. Where are his bruises and burns from Rience's torture? He was bleeding from his mouth, he had probably taken a few punches to his face. And Rience held his flame to Jaskier's fingers for at least five seconds, the heat of which compares to a lit match, nobody could walk away from something like that without second degree burns that would take many weeks to heal. And in Jaskier's case? Walking around with an exposed wound like that, touching things all the time, crawling across a dirty floor under the table when the witchers were fighting Voleth Mier? He realistically should have had a serious infection by now.

Also, tell me I am not the only one who noticed this, and I ask myself this quite often: Why OH WHY does it seem like the ONLY people who enjoy Jaskier's company, his presence, him in general, are the audiences he performs for and the elves? Everybody else seems to either shit on him the moment they see him or keep him around because he's loyal and amusing.

Idk about you, but I don't take kindly to the fact that the only character to treat Jaskier with respect and dignity in season 2 was Yennefer. Although THANK FUCK for Yennefer, I fucking LOVE her so much! But yeah.....

Like sure thing, Geralt evidently trusts Jaskier a lot, he is obviously fond of him, but to be honest I haven't seen enough of that fondness on screen to get the impression that their friendship is just like their bromance in the books. In season 1 they only show us scenes of Geralt barely putting up with Jaskier, ignoring him, insulting his singing (which is basically Jaskier's core, his life, his everything, it's what he lives and breathes for), barely admitting to their friendship out loud and then blaming Jaskier for everything that went wrong in his life! Like dude, I know Jaskier isn't exactly a pure and innocent cinnamon roll, I'm aware that he is a slutty little trouble magnet who can sometimes talk too much, but he is also a good friend! Even with whatever little screen time he gets, he is every inch the good friend that Dandelion is in the books!

In season 1 it's very clear that he cares, he asked Geralt if he's ok, he said "Talk to me", he tried to help Geralt deal with Borch's fake death, he offered Geralt an opportunity to go on a vacation, because he gives a fucking damn about him. Even in Cintra, when he asked Geralt for a favor, aka guard him, he made a comment about rubbing chamomile on his body, aka most likely massaging Geralt's sore arse muscles after a hunt.

But Geralt? Just the bare fucking minimum, saving Jaskier's life a few times, a few fond smiles here and there, otherwise looking rather uninterested in Jaskier's life. A brick wall that barely says anything nice to him. Or well, looks like talking to him in general is a chore.

And season 2? Whoooo boy! Jaskier still cares! Though he has to pry basic human decency out of Geralt in that jail cell at Oxenfurt:

- "We don't have time, we need to go"

- "Are you sure? Because the last time we saw eachother, you basically told me to fuck off, remember? And you left me on a mountain!"

- "Jaskier.."

- "Don't fucking Jaskier me, I'm talking to you, this is how this works!"

Jaskier still makes do with Geralt's pathetic arse "I need your help" and leaves EVERYTHING in his life behind to be there for Geralt. He left his Sandpiper smuggling business, he didn't even get to pack a bag, trailing after Geralt like a loyal dog, still wearing the shirt he was tortured in, with his dried blood on it, because Geralt needed his friend.

Thankfully Geralt seems to be doing better by Jaskier in the second season, but not nearly enough to be enough! I mean, Geralt came for Jaskier only when he needed something from him, didn't apologize to him until Jaskier hinted at the problem (Via discussing Yennefer's betrayal, she's been pushed into a corner, she's desperate, it's why people do stupid things and SAY stupid things). And Geralt's apology was shit, because he didn't offer it until Jaskier had accidentally guilt tripped him into it. And Jaskier? Yeah, no, he might have forgiven his friend for the Mountain, but he is still human, he's still got feelings and knew he deserved an apology. However, right there and then it clearly wasn't the right time, whatnot with Geralt's apology being too simple and nonchalant, not nearly serious and earnest enough to undo the hurt that had given birth to Burn Butcher Burn. Not to mention the dwarves being within earshot and the dangerous mission ahead. Which is why I understand why Jaskier brushed off Geralt's pathetic attempt at making amends with a joke.

When I was watching the Rare Species episode of season 1, the expression on Jaskier's face after getting shouted at by his best friend honestly broke my fucking heart. So when season 2 aired, I started binging it with high hopes of getting to see Geralt apologizing, them becoming friends again, Geralt being a better friend to Jaskier while also being badass as shit with his child surprise, battling monsters etc. But I did not expect it to fall so flat and I did not expect for LITERALLY EVERYONE to treat Jaskier like absolute dog shit. INCLUDING THE SHOW RUNNERS!

Geralt was basically using Jaskier for his loyalty, the dwarves found Jaskier's presence as the most annoying thing ever, Ciri literally fucking ignored him in all of their scenes together, the show-runners fucking forgot that Jaskier was tortured and filmed every scene with Joey in it as if Rience never happened, then for some dumb reason Lambert fucking had to be more of a prick than necessary, effectively alienating Jaskier with one single word, when that man had done nothing to deserve it!

FUCK!!!

#jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #netflix witcher #witcher netflix #dandelion #jaskier dandelion #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #yennskier #cirilla of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon #witcher ciri #geralt bashing #netflix #lauren hissrich #joey batey #henry cavill #geraskier #blood origin #netflix blood origin #jaskier blood origin #witcher blood origin

[stromuprisahat]

Slightly incoherent The Witcher S02 rant

(Finished and posted two years later with no Starbucks involved...)

They’re trying so hard to be The Next Game of Thrones, they’re erasing everything that makes The Witcher special. Things are changed unnecessarily, *new* *original* storylines added- much simpler and inferior to source material.

There’s a lack of ~variety~ of dangers. Different kinds, different degrees... It’s all life-threatening, fatal. The writers forgot some things can be dangerous only thanks to specific circumstances. Leshy in the woods can be just that- monster living in witchers’ keep’s backyard, not some weird parasite trying to murder or transform all the witchers.

Another trend I've noticed is "No rest for the heroes.". Characters aren't allowed to have a place and/or time to develop without preasure. The most peaceful part of Ciri's story got turned into parade of incompetent, inconsiderate idiots. It’s the same issue I had with first season of Shadow and Bone, where MC's studies and integration into new enviroment got struck out. Both were lacking "action". Both got cut short and re-written to be more "eventful". In both cases the story AND characters suffered. Characters aren’t developed, they become changed. Netflix seems to have a pattern, and- considering second season of S&B- doesn’t learn from its previous terrible results.

Another huge issue is pacing. The whole season feels like it happened in a week, when Blood of Elves took more than a season of the year.

“I know someone...” As it turned out, we all do.

When we’re at things I hate, there’s the trend of connecting EVERYTHING. You have a minor part to fill? Give it to one of already existing characters to make their path more eventful and memorable. What happened to random soldier, corpse no. 54 or anonymous inkeeper in shithole MC’s just passing through? You don't constantly cross ways with the same three people! Make the world real by houndreds of faces you'll never see again! It’s like the creators didn’t notice this is a TV show, not a video game, where you have to animate every different feature, so more NPC with the same faces are to be expected.

I also dislike the trend of giving some storylines to one-off side characters or making new things up just to make them important enough to keep them around (Istredd, Dara, Stregobor). Why can't you accept some people appear, fuck up your life and you never see them again? Are they pushed to keep some actors around?

The books are mostly following Geralt’s and Ciri’s story, but not exclusively. Show offers a chance to add more background politics, wider picture. Instead they bait us with well-known, already beloved characters that get reduced to something they’re not. I’ve made a separate post about Francesca Findababair, but they didn’t treat Philippa any better. Instead of a badass, crucial for the plot, the intelligence behind Redanian Intelligence, she’s just an owl. Dijkstra’s messanger to keep in touch with some sad little elf kid.

Voleth Mier disaster

There isn’t more genric evil creature in fantasy than “demon”. Then they call it “Mother of Evil”? She’s feeding on fear? I’m starting to suspect someone in the writing room has some serious mommy issues. ... and no imagination.

Apparently Blood of Elves without a final boss fight is too boring to adapt faithfully. There’s no time to increase the stakes gradually. Every season needs to end with a BANG!

Shared dreams? Why is there the need to connect everything even more to make it MORE important and SPECIAL and INTERESTING?

Vesemir and the rest of Kaer Morons

Why the fuck is Coën Wolf, not Griffin? Remember how I talked about unnecessary changes? Why bother keeping names, when everything else is different?

Eskel didn’t deserve this shit. The writers are counting on our pre-existing knowledge of his relationship with Geralt, so his death has at least some impact. Zero effort on their part, merely one (1) flashback. The Wolf funeral is plain stupid, while supposed to look "cool". a.) There isn't many witchers, they tend to die on the Path. b.) I'm sure the mutations just make the witchers tastier. No side effects. c.) Eskel was a fucking tree. Did the wolves just use him as a fancy chewing toy?

Lambs is a dick, but a dick, who loves his family. Not a bully picking on young traumatized girls.

Vesemir’s probably the second worst, considering the whole mischaracterization mess. They’ve changed friendly grandpa into "Let us use Ciri to make more witchers". Not OOC at all.

The writers also kinda missed the whole point of only four witchers living in the gigantic keep, but never mind that...

Why do they bother looking for new stories, when they just grind it into homogenic crap corresponding with The Pattern™?

Since when are witchers training in temples? (So much for neutrality...) And where's the chubby Slavic panímáma? Melitele's tample was about healing and herbs, not magic, that's Yennefer's storyline. Yes, it matters. It completely changes the perspective.

Since there’s no emotional build-up for anything, creators went for low-haging fruit. But Roach had to die for more reasons. Aside from the obvious (Horses aren’t immortal and we can’t kill the bard.), it’s the perfect way to get Geralt on gorgeous black Friesian. Y'no, because other horses are never so cool. And the Hero™ can't ride just some chestnut these days... Don't get me wrong, I love Friesians since I was a child, but this trend is beyond annoying.

Why change 14th of the hill? That’s Triss’ storyline and passing it on Yennefer served absolutely nothing.

Then we have Rience, who is for some reason super powerful- not only he doesn't have a problem drawing from fire, he can teleport to witcher's keep? Place full of magic, the very same one that's hard to find and he's never been to? Compare with game!plot, where Lambert’s dimetrium bombs messed with Yennefer’s magic enough for her not to be able to call someone.

There should be a list of banned words, or words and phrases that are often overused: power, protect, save, curse(d), fault, ~ needs you. ~I~ need you., Together. *meaningful pause*, You can fight this., glowy eyes = evil, suicidal self-sacrifice, not perfect but real, family, I beliiiiieve in you., force, darkness...

Sorry, but using a quote from one of the strongest moments of Blood of Elves in completely different situation will NOT give you extra points. Quite contrary. This is how you ruin one of he best parts of the books- by holding a sword to your SO's (who's been through some serious shit) neck.

Honorable mention of Emhyr var AnotherDumbVillain, for publicly proclaiming Ciri’s his daughter ...now the whole Nilfgaard knows what he wants. Stupid and the easiest way to let his enemies’ spies know just HOW much is she valuable.

Things I liked about this season: Tris and Ciri's meeting, Vereena, Yenneskíer chemistry

If there’s one thing second season of The Witcher taught me, it’s “Keep your expectations low, you’re gonna be let down anyway.”.

#The Witcher (TV series) #season 2 #Blood of Elves #Philippa Eilhart #Voleth Meir #Kaer Morons #Ciri of Cintra #Roach #Triss Merigold #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Rience #Emhyr var Emreis #q: Disturbance #V #parallels&references #Shadow and Bone #bad writing #TWN critical

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honestly after getting a good (first half at least) of season 3 my brain has essentially blacked out a good 75% of season 2 and now in my head the progression of the show is just. Season 1 -> yennskier + the jaskier & rience scene -> season 3

#kaer morhen/treeskel? gone #killing roach? gone #francesca & fringilla? absofucking lutely still there frinfran forever #the FUCKING voleth mier plot? G TO THE O TO THE FUCKING N E #mine #the witcher #witcher #yennskier #jaskier #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #rience #idk if its bc my room was rearranged in a cursed fucking way while i was watching or what but its just a blur