#why do thye have to make it so complicated

[daydreaming-girl-in-purple]

Here we go again. I stayed at my house Wednesday as planned but there was kinda a family emergency so I stayed another night. Friday night I came back to his house and Saturday morning we were to get to the markets as we normally do.

The trip out was fine. However when we went to the other market, he started revealing that he was upset that he didn't have food prepped by me this week... he kept going as we were in the market and even more so as we went home.

There was plenty of food for him to eat when he got home. There just wasn't a prepped breakfast or lunch. I even had granola made that he said he could eat for breakfast last night so idk why he didn't while it was super fresh and I wasn't there.

He kind of is saying that I'm not holding up my side of the deal. The deal was he'd split his paycheck with me if I did the cooking and the accounting and most of the cleaning while he went to work. This isn't the first time he threatened to quit his job because of my "actions." I'm getting sick of it.

I'm tired of being treated like I'm lazy. Sure I have more time to myself but I have to constantly be thinking about if he quits his job again or if he'll be satisfied with the food. There is constantly anxiety hanging over me. I get to the point most times where I can't bring myself to do anything.

I've also been watching my nephews on top of this and he knew this was just going to be until winter when their dad would be home with them.

I try to give myself to the people in my life but I end up being a disappointment. He said last night that his life was complicated and eventually complained I wasn't being affectionate. I'll give him credit for apologizing and trying to be nice. However I just stayed in the room all day bc he and his brother had friends over and I was embarrassed and crying. So while I tried to hide my spiral got worse and I hated being such a disappointment to everyone. For instance, since I couldn't start watching my nephews early in the morning, my sister was going in late as agreed upon. However my former boss doesn't like this and tried to get my sister to convince me to be earlier.

Bf's brother is disappointed in me bc I won't make organic soup for their sister who is sick. However there were way too many requirements that didn't make sense to me. It takes a lot for me to figure out stuff I haven't done before. Then there's the fact the said brother is constantly bashing the kitchen and blaming me for it. Then last night bf said he was walking his brother over to their other brother's house. I jokingly said "oh so you can make sure he doesn't come back." And bf got mad and said my attitude towards his brother needed to stop. It was weird bc all this time I've been upset over his brother's comments and how thye affected me but I make a silly comment after being down all day and suddenly I'm horrible? Not to mention that they all complain about him all the time but I'm not allowed to.

I feel like I'm just a house worker. I don't they appreciate me. I think because I'm unemployed, they all think I'm not doing anything. I just try to stay out of the way especially since it's clear I can't do anything right or efficiently enough...

#daydreaming girl in purple #not poetry #journal #rant #September 17 2023 #I feel so alone #and unwanted #disappoinment

[kuiinncedes]

ughfgjskldgdkfj triple integrals suck

#they're not terrible actually and i like doing double and triple integrals #but the. fucking algebra part #why do thye have to make it so complicated #i can never expand shit without fucking it up lskdglsjkfd #and i'm too tired/dumb to remember if there's a way to integrate without expanding like (6-3x)^4 #so i just expanded it #but it was for nothing bc i got it wrong and i just used fucking symbolab to give me the answer lmaooo #anyway it's 1:10am i haven't stayed up this late in a while sdklglsjkdfj #i have SO MUCH SHIT TO DO THIS WEEKEND omfg #i'll probably say this again tomorrow but like just #please yell at me to get off of tumblr if i'm online this weekend XD #AHHHH ok ughhh i'm not even halfway done with this math hw :)))))) #and i have a whole essay to write and some other shit too aldshjfgd;fldsgdkljf #ok yeah good night y'all lol #stfu jeanne #weirdly tho i really fucking like integration i enjoy it XD #it's fun when it's not unnecessarily complicated and application-wise it's pretty cool too ugh i don't want to go to sleep #i want to finish this but that's gonna take forever #what if i just straight up didn't write my essay draft this weekend 🤡 #i don't see how i'm gonna have time for it bc i don't even know what the fuck i'm writing about yet 😭 #oh my goddddd ok bye i need to sleep lmao i don't want toooooo

[trapped-inadystopianovel]

So what's your wip, Providence about? Any cool OCs?

(Disclaimer: I'm bad at explaining things. Enjoy my trash)

Providence follows Cicely as she goes from working on her family farm to being a spy for a hand full of nobles during the war. Things start to get complicated when she not only has to learn about her clairvoyant powers but gains feelings for, General Galib Sarraf, the man she’s spying on.

Personally, I think all my OCs are cool, I will admit some are cooler than others. I say the coolest ones are Sumayl, Padma, and Cicely.

Sumayl: I'm biased here because I love the lovable cocky asshole who’s actually really sweet. He’s that guy who’s just natural suave. He’s a bit of idiot and most of the comedic relief. I just love him. (he doesn’t deserve what I have planned for him) 

Padma: she's just a bitch. She's power-hungry, using her husband, daughters, and so-called allies(all of whom allied because they like her husband not her) to get what she wants. There is a 100% chance she will kill every single person in her way

Cicely: If you want an intelligent person to be simultaneously the dumbest person on the planet, then I give you Cicely. She’s able to hold her own in a game of wits but as will say and do things that makes you think ‘why are you like this ma’am?’. Not to mention she’s a clairvoyant which is really fun to write. I am bais here too because she’s basically just me but with the power to see parts of the future.

Other characters that are just as cool:

Aza who has literal magic hands

Ab, Aza’s twin brother, who makes prosthetics that can be infused with his sister’s magic so they move like actual limbs

Galib who from afar seem really cool and stoic but up close he’s just one big awkward boi

Alina who will cut you

Amora AKA the Oracle the just grumpy old woman that gives Cicely a basic rundown of how their powers work. She also smacks everyone with her cane

All the Gods. They’re all assholes and I love them. Thye just kinda fuck with Cicely throughout the story and it’s so fun to write

#providence #kinda of an introduction to Providence #my writing #my wip #ask #long post #writblr #writeblr

[misterbitches]

did any1 stop and think that maybe, just maybe, women don’t like hearing two men be called a ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ because patriarchy ruins our lives? runs it? maybe, just maybe, that is transphobic because whoever is being penetrated means u arent using ur PENIS therefore u HAVE NONE and therefore u r a WOMAN. like.....anyone think of that?

not all terms communities use are going to be loved by all people. and it’s better to keep it intercommunal, not so some women can write that into their stories and use it as a trope. i feel like most gay men probably do not like BL as much as we want to think they do. and there’s a reason fandoms are predominantly female. and that’s ok, we all internalize shit and there’s this fantastical element. but yes, yes it is insulting. no i do not care why men would use it in their relationships, but the people writing this happen to not be gay men and it happens to be a trope just like with rape and insanely misogynist depictions of women. and unhealthy rships.

everyone is always like oh rships are complicated and we have to show the real~ sides of lgbtq+ rships. first of all, have you ever talked to a gay man in your life? second of all, if you are a man, sure, but are women just puppets? third of all, i am not so convinced any of you go outside.

oh and we’re not stupid enough to believe that to many people top = man, bottom = woman (more feminine.) plus, through history penetration is always seen as lesser, you give yourself up, even when homosexuality was pederastry way back in like roman times (which, btw is DISGUSTING. just bc it was normalized doesnt mean it isnt gross lol.) we know this is coded language and the majority of people who use it for these shows and fandom ARE NOT GAY MEN so your defense is null! idc! you should also maybe learn to figure out why women maay not LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING THAT MEN DO, EVEN IF THYE ARE GAY. AND THAT’S OK. women have issues with drag for a reason, we will all survive. 

i am not a cis man, i am not a cis gay man, i do not have a penis and that does not make me a woman. i am proud of who i am not bc a lack of fucking anything. and in relationships i dnt’ think of it as penetration exchange esp wrt my gender and sexuality. yes i find it fucking insulting when that shit is brought up. you will never be a woman, you’re insulting trans women, and you’re pissing us off! there’s nothing distinctive about penetration it’s only when we make the distinction and try and handwave it away. fuck no. femininity has nothing to do with whose penis goes where omfg. 

I keep thinking abt this and getitng mad lmao like keep it to urself bitch it would be fine if it wasnt in everybsingle fucking piece and the writers are actually honoring friendships and language but no the binary is written into our thinking and language so how can i believe this common trope is a cultural phenomena in a vacuum? Suck my dickkkkk

[sagemoderocklee]

💘💋for GaaLee!

my hcs for things kind of shift around a lot depending on what i’m writing--like AUs are gonna be different from canon obviously, but also like it depends on the canon im working within. like the way I approach Gaara for Art of Love is different from Alliance, etc. so i may be a lil all over the place with these...

💘: lovestruck headcanons 

so i imagine that Lee is more of the type to get lovestruck than gaara is, and he’s far more obvious about it obviously. i think that lee grows a lot as a person from the time when he was all of 13 years old and asking sakura to go out with him. i think he’s still prone to being the sort to like insta-crush on someone he thinks is cute, but i think that as he gets older it happens less and less until he gets to a point where his approach to and perspective on romance has matured. 

with lee, i think he’s basically the sort to be 10000% smitten, he’s a complete and utter sap, a hopeless romantic. he wears his feelings on his face clear as day and everyone knows he’s got it realllllll bad. like spacing out day dreaming in the middle of training and accidentally breaking something he shouldn’t have, heavy sighing while out to dinner with friends, wistful longing, etc. like def is the sort to be loud and proclaim his undying love and unwavering devotion.... after he and gaara have like actually confessed. when he’s still like mooning over gaara it’s all about that tender ache. the longing of a far away love. lee definitely tries to write poetry and send it to gaara, but he chickens out about sending actual poetry so he just sends like a regular letter. that he has to write like ten times because he can’t decide how to start it--

“is dear Gaara too informal? is Kazekage-sama too formal? I do not want him to think I do not care about him! my dearest Kazekage--no, no dearest friend! but i want him to think of me as more than a friend!” etc

and then of course he has to figure out how to sign off on it and he agonizes over that too.

lee just... agonizes. all the time. 

he agonizes over not getting to see gaara. he agonizes over what to do when he does see him. what to say, am i staring too much? oh no is my face red? oh i should not have said that.... and so on. 

gaara is more.... quietly and intently obsessed. 

he’s gotta first figure out why his feelings for lee are so... different from his feelings for others. why can’t he stop thinking about him. why does he miss lee so much more than say naruto? why does he feel so good when lee comes to suna? 

once he parses through his emotions, he’s still gonna obsess over it all but now he’s not obsessing over the whys and wherefores. he’s obsessing over “could lee actually love me?” and “what is the right thing to do?” and he asks temari for advice because he can’t trust kankurou with this sort of thing--kankurou’s too much of a bachelor for real honest relationship advice but his sister is happily married with a kid so he knows she’ll give him good advice. and then he’s gotta obsess over the political complications. temari and shikamaru were one thing, but he and lee? oh that’s a whole world of political turmoil. 

and then of course there’s just the general obsessing over lee. like he definitely requests lee’s taijutsu expertise more than necessary. he takes any chance to visit konoha. he always manages to make time for lee. he’s normally the sort who likes his personal space but when he’s with lee he tends to lean in to him more. he tends to look for reasons to be close, not necessarily touching. and he definitely definitely stares way. too. much. temari has to remind him on multiple occasions that staring is rude and also unnerving and lee might think he wants to kill him again instead of just go out with him

tenten definitely misreads gaara’s intense staring and worries about foolish lovestruck lee when the object of his affection clearly wants him dead. 

obviously they all laugh about the confusion when it’s all out in the open but like... there’s definitely some confusion for a while.

 👄: kissing headcanons

so generally speaking i find fandom’s approach to gaara kind of annoying and gross. like the whole shy, blushing virgin thing isn’t who he is. and i hate that even sp made him like clueless about romance and marriage and had kankurou give him icha icha as like his sex/romantic education. like that’s so ugly and it’s not cute. he’s a grown ass adult, he’s the leader of his village, he’s got a kill count higher than my credit score. gaara doesn’t need to be a clueless blushing virgin just because he’s got no experience, and it’s kind of gross because of the layers of trauma he has and just the other implications there. 

but anyways gaara knows what dating is he knows what romance is he knows what sex is. god you cannot convince me that episode--for all it’s gaalee content--was actually good because gaara not knowing anything about weddings is impossible. he’s the fucking kazekage. how has he not had to sign off on like a marriage certificate? how has he not been to at least a few weddings???? 

anyways this is getting soap boxy i just... hate this trend so much 

so to the point. 

i know it’s rlly funny imagining gaara and lee being bad kissers but they like just don’t know they are cause they only kiss each other but i imagine that it’s like... 

lee is way way way too enthusiastic and gaara is like “woah what the fuck please stop eating my face. slow down.’ and lee has to like... calm down because kissing is NOT in fact like training and you can’t just like.... go so hard. but gaara is like super awkward and stiff about it, so lee has to be like “not that i do not enjoy being intimate with you, but you really should relax more because it is kind of like kissing sandstone....” 

it helps a bit when gaara like doesn’t wear the sand skin (this is a different hc i have for him fyi) but he’s still like... really stiff and kind of... jerky about kissing. so like where lee has to learn to be slow and sensual, gaara has to learn to be an active participant in the whole thing.

once they get the hang of that though thye kinda figure out how they mesh well with each other with regards to kissing, but they don’t kiss like publicly a whole lot. gaara’s more of the quiet physical affection and lee feels like the majority of kissing is a sacred form of intimacy that should be shared in the privacy of their homes--minus like pecks on the lips, cheeks, forehead kisses, hand kisses.... all of which Lee does do in excess throughout the day.

gaara’s a big fan of the forehead kisses. those are def his favourite thing that lee does for him. gaara’s favourite thing to kiss on lee is the hand he like crushed cause ya know... 

lee is also a big supporter of starting the day with a kiss and ending the day with a kiss. gaara personally likes to wake lee up with kisses since he doesn’t sleep and it’s definitely lee’s favorite thing to wake up to as well.

#gaalee #leegaa #naruto #shippuden #rock lee #gaara #otp: the ultimate otp #otp: love is a foreign language i barely understand but when you speak it the words make so much sense #Anonymous

[lord-taika]

Home sweet home (Fangs Fogarty  Reader)

request: can you don one where reader is Toni’s sister and they both end up getting locked out of the house so thye have to stay with someone else and she stays with fangs (her boyfriend). Later that night he asks her to move in.. you can end it however thx

A/N:I finally did a fangs imagine. Its shitty and totally cliche but enjoy it anyways.. also pea doesn’t act like he does in most of my writings because i believe he lets his guard down around fangs

"Don't bother going home tonight" Toni, my sister said as she came up to me at the bar known as the headquarter for the serpents. "Did he lock us out again?" I asked referring to my uncle who kept getting into his little tantrums causing us to spend the night crashing on someone's couch. "Are you really surprised? this is the fourth time this week and its only Tuesday" she said causing both of us to laugh. "Who are you crashing with tonight?" I asked as I began to gather my things into my bag. "I'll probably crash on the couch upstairs. you?" she asked already knowing the answer. "Most likely with fangs. Which means I have to start heading over there. I'll see you tomorrow."  I said as I began walking out of the bar. "Have fun! make sure to use condoms I'm too young to be an aunt" Toni called out causing my face to turn a deep crimson color before I flipped her off and told her to fuck off. Just as I was two feet away from the trailer my boyfriend and his best friend, sweet pea, shared I decided to call to make sure they're actually home.

 "Hey, babe. You home?"  I asked as soon as he picked up. "Let me guess your uncle locked you guys out again?" he said chuckling. "Yeah, I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight," I said as I slowly made my way up the stairs leading to his front door. "You know you don't have to ask. you could just show up. " "I'm glad you said that because I'm outside," I said hearing someone else, probably pea, laugh before someone opened the door. "did you just assume he was going to say 'yes'?" pea asked as he let me in. "I was kinda hoping he would. if not I'd probably sleep at Fp's place." I said as I sat my things down at the small table next to the door. "With Jughead? yeah, Fangs would probably blow the whole place up rather than have you sleep under the same roof as that kid." Pea said causing me to laugh since I already knew how jealous my boyfriend could get over the smallest things. "he's in his room if you want to head over" he said as he continued to watch whatever he was watching before I got there. "Night sweets," I said as I made my way down the small hallway. 

"hey babes," I said as opened the door to his room, witnessing him throw some clothes into the closet in order to clean up a bit. "Hey, you want something to wear?" He asked as he made his way over to me before placing a kiss on my lips. Nodding, he headed over to his drawer and pulled out one of my favorite shirts he owned that was a simple old green shirt that was long enough e to look like a mini dress on me. taking off my pants and shirt I put on the shirt that smelt of cigarettes, coconut and lemon, a strange combination yet somehow they complicated each other and smelt like heaven, and made my way onto the medium-sized bed where he laid, shirtless with only a pair of basketball shorts, his arms tucked behind his head as he looked up to the ceiling. "so what happened this time?" Fangs asked as I placed my head on his chest, one arm loosely wrapped around his torso. "Not sure. Toni came up to me at the bar and told me he locked us out again. He's been doing it so much lately that it doesn't even surprise me at this point." I said in all honesty. "Why don't you just move in?" he asked, catching me by surprise. so much that I actually ended up falling out of bed. " you okay?" he asked laughing. "Yeah, sorry. I don't think I heard you right. Did- Did you just ask me to move in with you?" I asked climbing back on the bed. "Well. You practically live here already. Plus we've been together for a while now. Figured it made sense." he said scratching the back of his head. "well, yeah I spend most of my free time here and sure we've been together since the summer before freshman year but what if we break up? who would I live with after that? plus we're just juniors in high school. Don't you think that's moving a little too quick? on top of all that you'd still have to ask pea since he also lives here. " I said looking him in the eyes as I explained. 

"If we break up you could still live here. I mean you're still a serpent and we take care of each other. Sweetpea would have no problem with you living here as long as we don't keep him up at nights. Like you said, we've been together since that summer before freshman year, that's almost 3 years we were friends before we dated. We could try it out and if it doesn't work I'll look for a new place for you myself." "Okay. ill move in" I said after really thinking about it. I mean whats the worst thing that could happen? "you sure?" he asked making sure I really thought about it. "Pea! Say 'hi' to your new roommate" I softly screamed out causing the tall lanky boy to run into the room and on to the bed. "Welcome to Casa de Swangs. Please don't keep me up" Pea said causing me to laugh. "I make no such promises," I said causing both the boys to laugh before pea shook his head probably already regretting this arrangement. "Oo who's telling Toni?" I asked causing the boys to stop laughing. "Nope not dealing with that" pea said as he walked out the room. "Oh god. She'll understand. right?" Fangs asked as he pulled me closer to him. "She'll probably  threaten you but that's it." I said snuggling in deeper.  "fantastic" I heard him mumble as he let out soft chuckles.

As always, don’t forget to like, re-blog, comment, leave comments, questions and concerns  

#fangs fogarty #fangs fogarty x reader #fangs fogarty imagine #riverdale imagines #riverdale x reader #sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #toni topaz #toni topaz x reader #riverdale #southside serpents #swangs #swangz