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nerdynikki94 · 6 months

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SUNNYBLR: So, I know that if I have a reputation for anything as of late, it would probably be for my Rob-Hating-Rants about how (imo), he's done a great disservice to Mac's identity as a gay man.

This has been misconstrued before, and recently was again with a reblog of one of said posts:

Despite acknowledging 1000 times over that I do understand the humor/satire of the show, often I'm accused of not 'getting the point'.

I get the point, trust me. I've been watching this show consistently for well over a decade (& I'm nearly 30; so, I've always been aware/analytical enough to realize that these characters are objectively awful - it's intentionally written that way). That is not where my issue with the writing lies.

Mac may be my baby, but he's an immensely flawed individual. There really is no shortage of terrible qualities that he possesses: he's arrogant, crass, delusional, ignorant, obnoxious, prejudiced, rude, stubborn, tactless, etc. (We all know there's many more fucked up characteristics to his personality) Still, once he came out, the majority of the focus for his flaws surround his sexuality. (Since S12...)

-Mac making his sexuality his entire personality.

-Mac never sincerely showing honest romantic/sexual attraction unless he is exhibiting the 'predatory gay' stereotypes.

-Mac becoming a spineless doormat who happily takes heaps of verbal (& sometimes physical) abuse regarding his sexuality.

-Mac constantly trying to reduce his sexuality by subscribing to constricting stereotypes.

-Mac's sexuality being a characteristic of his personality that he has to receive gang acceptance/approval for (i.e. Frank in MFHP & FVR).

-Mac struggling with reconciling his religion and his sexuality (even 5+ years later) and continuing to be made fun of for grappling w/ongoing internalized religious homophobia.

-Mac's sexuality being used as a constant punchline to countless jokes. (I.E. S16E1 - Running blowjob joke. Funny in context; still using as reference because no one has ever made fun of Dee for sucking dick - because she's a 'straight' woman.)

As I've said too many times before, I know these characters are fucked up and I love them for it. I've never expected them to become benevolent individuals or upstanding role models. They wouldn't be the gang if they were. However, I do and will continue to have a problem with Mac's sexuality being the focal point of his shortcomings or being the cause for any suffering he continues to withstand.

These characters are meant to be punished for their greed, abysmal self-centered behavior, and detestable qualities; so, why is Mac's character still being punished for being gay? The gang is ashamed of him for it, & as the show only centers on them - their dynamics, opinions, schemes - it consistently carries the tone that it is something Mac should also be ashamed of; as if he hadn’t already spent the first 40 years of his life in self-loathing because of it.

Mac is NOT a gay role model, obviously; but that doesn't mean his character should be settled into being a gay joke.

#iasip #mac macdonald #boy... i had a lot to say. but I'm sick of my criticisms being misunderstood.#rob said Mac came out in honor of his mom.but besides coming out to immediately be disowned when has he been allowed any gay expression?#better yet. is there a single moment where Mac has been allowed to experience any queer joy?#i can't think of any #that's why I'm mad. Mac survived self-loathing his whole life & when he accepted himself. his family/friends turn it into a punchline.#rob needs to find a new joke & finally get a grasp on the character he's been openly struggling to understand for 20 years.#like TGSGW. The joke is that Mac is ignorant & relies on religion to do anything. so Dennis fairly insults him for it.#that episode is hilarious. i laugh every time bcz Mac is an idiot & it's so in character. roast him for those flaws. not for sucking dick.#also. just a reminder. rob mcelhenney has lied about giving mac a real bf every season since he came out. so yeah. i stand by it. fuck him!

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feelslikegold · 2 years

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#if you make a WHOLE fucking list #of how you want your fave to ‘reach out’ to lgbtq+ fans when every sign ever points to them being closeted #and you say the lack of doing your whole weird ass list = homophobic #WHAT is wrong with you….????? genuinely from the bottom of my heart what is wrong with you #why would someone make a detailed LIST of things to do to basically validate their queerness because they’re just not publicly gay enough #FOR THEM* like make a list FOR SOMEONE ELSE bc they’re not gay enough FOR THEM…a person they don’t know!!!!#let alone this is a musician???? which their personal lives are so fucking unrelated to being a musician #what is your fucking problem #i’d ask what wolves raised you but yk what that’d be so disrespectful to wolves #and they claim to be lgbtq+ LMFAO???????#how do you as a queer person project that kind of disgusting mentality on another queer person just bc they haven’t waved a pride flag on #stage #you simply do not deserve to even perceive him lmfao #god that’s so fucking disgusting #and also!!! your brain-rotted little noodle spice packet of a brain doesn’t get to decide what allyship looks like lmfao 😭 you don’t speak #for literally anyone lgbtq+ besides yourself #god ****** ***#the audacity never fails to blow my mind with how openly delusional they are lmfao #yes I will still talk my shit when someone as fucked in the head as saint***** gets back on their bullshit propaganda of #‘just how disgusting and damaging/insulting to the lgbtq+ community can I be today 🥹’ agenda lmfao #anyways #propaganda and agenda lmao yeah

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eggcats · 1 year

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I don't think I'll stop going feral at the absolute disrespect towards Cecil/Welcome to Night Vale when it had a canon gay character (as well as other lgbt rep, that just kept expanding) and started BEFORE GAY MARRIAGE WAS FEDERALLY LEGAL IN THE US

nothing will ever compare to the absolute draw drop moment of having cecil openly be attracted to a man and have the joke be cecil being AWKWARD and not the attraction itself, when I was in fucking high school and not mentally stable and not straight with being gay not even being legally recognized in my state

(plus the multiple eyes and sharp teeth and tentacles he's usually drawn with is CLASSIC tumblr sexyman, he HAS no canon appearance we all just collectively Did That)

#I'm sorry but do you understand the IMPACT this podcast had on me as someone still in high school when being gay was an insult #and it wasn't even legal in my state #put some RESPECT on Cecil's name please #(also the insistence of drawing him with multiple eyes and sharp teeth and tentacles is also why im the way i am)

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achiels · 9 months

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guy who still doesnt understand why ppl think twink is an insult or overall derogatory

#personal #ik in some cases ppl do say it insultingly and they should kill themselves for it but why are gay identities being tied to insults 🤨

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saharathorn · 9 months

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“Str8 men can’t even eat a banana without being called gay!” Yeah and who’s responsible for that.

#why do str8 men whine to me abt being scared of being called gay and expect me to care #like bro you’re insinuating that my sexuality is unmasculine and insulting to you

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timeisacephalopod · 2 years

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The annoying part of dealing with any kind of aphobia is that no one even understands what it is to understand how they just hurt you. Like people understand homophobia and how it's hurtful, but those same people will say literally the most fucked up aphobic shit to your face and when you gently explain how that's offensive to X aspec group they just fuckin stare at you like a goldfish in a bowl confused as to why you're acting like they should respond with something, anything, but confused silence that they'd never have if someone told them they'd just said something wildly homophobic.

Like even generally progressive people do this and it's like for god's sake could you use your head for five minutes and think to yourself if gays don't like homophobia maybe aspec people react the same way to that aphobic rhetoric I just spent several minutes explaining only to have it still go over your head.

#winters ramblings #the last time this happemed to me i was so annoyed because i was like if i just said you were saying something extremely homophobic #id have IMMEDIATELY gotten an apology and maybe even an explanation of the thought process there #but aphobia?? i can explain it till im blue in the face amd i STILLL dont get more than a blank fucking stare #like damn yall so got damn dumb no wonder i walked back into the closet only to have to deal with casual aphobia anyway #and the last time this happened the person i was talking to was generally progressive too like come on #i LITERALLY just told you that what you said was offensive to asexuals and somehow youre STILL confused??#how is it that people do not understand that their shitty attitudes to aspec people is a Brand of Phobic like ???#love knowing you think your opinions that are wildly ignorant toward people like me SO HARD #you literally cannot fathom why i just said that upset me like good fucking christ #if a gay person described someone being ignorant about their sexuality they get sympathy #when i do it i get silence because people kind of agree with the person who insulted me in my atory amd they dont want to admit it #or worse they DO and i have to sit there like ben affleck with a cigarette

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maslows-pyramid-scheme · 1 year

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in a totally surprising twist of events, the biphobic anon finds a way to use biphobic terminology against you even when it’s completely irrelevant and inaccurate. Way to go, anon 🎉

I don't mind if they try to invalidate my same-sex attraction; I'm just as capable of same-sex attraction as they are and my same-sex attraction is just as strong and worthwhile as theirs is.

#too heterosexual to express an opinion and too bisexual to benefit on heterosexual-specific terms #bihet is a slur and if it wasn't they wouldn't use it #i don't know why that anon bothered sending a message - i was agreeing with them!#i just don't think 'person from marginalised group deserves marginalised-specific insults'#(i feel the same about gay men - i'm not going to call them gay slurs or wish hate crimes on them when they're being misogynistic)#smh #anon #biphobia

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matoitech · 1 year

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obv the mad burnish as characters and the burnish as worldbuilding stuff was the focus for a lot of ppl and i dont think thats bad or anything duh everyoens got dif focus n stuff theyre interested in and i liked reading burnish worldbuilding and lore ideas n stuff too, i just still think its funny there were ppl who were like what if the movie just didnt matter so i could ship lio w his generals and what if galo was just his friend bcuz i dont like galo. like well thats not what happened im sorry to say <- no he isnt

#im typically a protagonist liker so goes beyond me #BUT ALSO BCUZ GALOS MY FAVE CHARACTER IN ANYTHING AND I LOVED PRMRS LOVE STORY A LOT #SO IT GOES WAAY OVER MY HEAD WHY SOMEONE WOULD RATHER IT BE MORE BORING AND WORSE #I MEAN I GUESS? BUT DOESNT IT FEEL LIKE A LITTLE INSULTING AND WEIRD TO U TO SCRUB THE WHOLE NARRATIVE OUT #OF THE MOVIE AND MAKE THEM JUST BROS HEHE <3 LIKE MAN. IDK EVEN WHEN UR KEEPING LIO GAY! IDK MAN!#anyway my personal feelings on it r just that it would not do anything 4 me anyway like i wouldnt care abt it anyway #but if galos not involved i do find it harder to generate any interest #but whatever if ur being normal i dont think its Bad or something i just think tis funny gbfhhg #and if u dont like galo well What is wrong with you

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yikez · 1 year

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me : *constantly talks to him* *asks for advice* *shows him exams from other classes* *tries to get his attention* *tries to get him to compliment me* *vaguely tells him about my issues so he asks about it*

also me : surely he doesn't know i see him as a father figure 😋👍

#btw despite trying all this he doesn reciprocate #i mean kinda #i mean it's complicated #like i told him a guy in my class who is very right wing makes me uncomfortable because of the things he says #and when that guy called somone gay as an insult and called someone the r slur my teacher got realllyyyyy mad #cuz he knows I'm a lesbian and I've hinted at thinking i might be nd #and my friend who sits next to me is actually ND soooo that didn't fly well with my teacher and I'm so happy he said something #and he immediately looked at me after!!!! i was having a really bad day that day and it made it so much better #but like whenever i say something mean about myself #like not in a compliment fishing way but rather as a I'm insecure so it just comes out of my mouth way #he doesn't disagree #and i know as a teacher you generally shouldn't be the one person to therapize your student #but like a little don't say that about yourself would be great #also I'm like the best in his class but I'm a perfectionist because of that and i keep being 1 point away from full points #and like he just makes fun of me for it #i know he means it nicely and that's just his humor and why i like him in the first place #but I've never gotten a good job from him #maybe he's just not a complimenting type?? i wish he would say one single nice thing about me though #he DOES recommend me a bunch of stuff and we talk a lot and that's probably how he shows he cares #so I'm trying to get used to that instead of expecting words of affirmations #teacher crush community #tcc #father figure teachers

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sidewalk-scrawls · 2 years

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I will not participate in another round of discourse over the word queer I will not participate in another round of discourse over the word queer I will not partici

#i just...#y'all realize why it's harmful to censor a generally accepted identity because it's a 'slur'#like if we're gonna censor queer might as well censor gay too! i certainly got called that as an insult much more often than queer!!#but i've never once seen someone tag the word gay as g slur or type it as g*y.... i wonder why....#(just kidding! i know why!)#also to be clear because i'm tired of being misunderstood - do not censor the word gay either #this is an example meant to show how fucking absurd this entire thing is #ANYWAY i'm sorry lol i REALLY did not mean to wade in but i have 0 impulse control and now i feel the extreme need to post this #THIS IS ALL I'M POSTING THOUGH #(probably -- as mentioned i have 0 impulse control)#it's a problem #talking tag

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ghstmsk · 5 months

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filled this out the other day for these two cause idk felt like it. I referred to them as just friends with benefits but theyre in a weird spot where they might actually be dating but no ones sure not even them. I think maybe i don't work with these sorts of templates cause I feel the need to explain a lot i'm very prone to infodumping about my ocs

#i dont feel like tagging this since its just a template thing #allen's one day relationship was because he dated a guy and the next day found out the guy had just been broken up with #and allen was basically just a rebound #they both wanna date people but due to issues just have currently been avoidant of dating #so they basically just have each other to be intimate with #allen's dated a few people some of whom were friends and they couldnt go back to being friends after dating #errol grew up a pretty repressed catholic #errol avoids his family as much as possible but never really officially cut them off #the kind to just be like “oh i cant come over im busy that day” when he's really not #allen's parents are homophobic but atheist his dad being very anti-religion #his dads belief is that gay people are mentally unwell and need to be fixed and that gay animals is just cause animals are stupid #and we're not animals so it doesnt even matter. kind of guy who tried to make his son play football as a kid so he wouldnt end up gay #and then sent him to military school #allen's mom is one of those ''im fine with gay people but why cant they do that in private i dont wanna see it''#allen has very much cut them off #also it should be noted for allen he doesnt feel awkward but a lot of conversations with him feel awkward because of just how he is #also the overprotective and chill going i was kinda ?#like when i say protective in a friend sense but i think maybe thats not what i mean #like if someones being ableist towards errol would absolutely jump in to defend him #via arguing/insulting/physical fighting #also for the pda i dont see allen being a super pda person in general (which is probably part of why his some of his relationships dont las #i think he does want to do pda but struggles with it cause of trauma i think he struggles with being emotionally stunted #and errol definitely does like playful jokey pda but anything more serious and he starts getting too flustered and shutting down #typing all this after saying im prone to infodumping #jack was right they should rediagnose me for free

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cpyclopse · 7 months

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I started crocheting and I made some gay flowers for my gay books!

Im about to rant about flowers and gay people so when youre done looking at my awsome flower book marks scroll if you dont wanna read like 4 paragraphs

So fun facts about these flowers in case you didn't already know!! As we all know some flowers mean different things (you can go deeper with floriography which is so neat) and they are just generally used in symbolism. We know lillies, specifically white ones, are used for funerals (at least in the west) and red Roses are for love we assign flowers and plants for roles often times by their looks, locations, and histories.

First we will talk about the Violet. So back in yee olden days in ancient Greece around 600-500 bce there was a poet named Sapho. She is important for a couple reasons 1) she was a woman and misogyny has been around since before Jesus (literally) ancient greece had some cool stuff and had some cool policies like that they (from what ive read) were pretty considerate of different religions even having some temples for immagrants for them to pray in but they also had stuff like slavery and generally hated women. And 2) she was the first ever documented woman who explicitly liked other women and wrote about it.

Sapho, being the pretty popular poet she was, made poems about her love of women and in one of them she talked about a beautiful woman wearing violets. That line is where we get the connection of violets to lesbians (and wlw people in general). People have refrenced her violets a lot in history some have also used diffrent purple flowers as well to show their love to other women.

Next we got the Pansy. This connection has been around for at least a little over a 100 years. Pansy has been used as an insult for queer men bc theyre delicate flowers and such and grrr flowers are feminine men are are big and strong hrumph. The term "pasny craze" was made in like the 20s bc queer people were really coming full swing well not really but more and more people knew of our existence and they weren't happy about it (shocker i know). To sum it up its more of a reclaiming something that was used against us there was even a bar named after the flower. To add on there is another flower used to represent gay men and this one was a bit more like flagging. This being the Carnation(my personal favorite flower) specifically the green one. The one and only *Oscar Wilde* wore one in his breast pocket which in turn trickled down to the every day gay mans consciousness.

Maybe we should think about flowers more i know i do. I cant grow a garden bc i dont like to go outside and bc the sun here is evil but someone should grow a gay garden for me. That would make you a real horticulture lad *ba dum tisk*

Bla bla bla rant info dumping all in all i crocheted gay flowers and put them in their respective gay books

- xoxo gossip girl

#i thi k queer history is soooo interesting #its been one of my hyperfixations #this is mostly me ranting so if it reads weird uuuuuh idk #i love floriography <3333 #also applying our names and concepts of sexuality onto people not of our culture and from like 2000 years ago isnt the best idea bc #again she was from 2000 years ago and a real person. that is to say its said she had loved both men and women. ovi shes very important to #the lesbain community shes literally why we use the term lesbian and call the romance sapphic #idk i just wanted to pit that out there #also i forgot to mention “horticulture lads” was also an insult for gay men in the early 20th century thats the reference #im not good at having a coherent long conversation that doesn't go all over the place you can really tell in the end #its a perk to being on the spectrum #i havent read so this is ever after yet but the description is so interesting #im still on like ch5 of cant spell treason without tea and its soo sweet theyre so gay and in love<3333 #ive never watched gossip girl idk why i wrote that

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dcxdpdabbles · 4 months

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DCxDP Fic Idea: The Contact, the Butler and the Sly Time Lord

Martha accidentally engaged Bruce to a higher being when he was two.

It sounds terrible, but she hadn't thought that the man wearing the Time ghost costume at her husband's Halloween Gala wasn't wearing a costume and was actually the physical embodiment of Time.

She just thought he took Halloween very seriously.

Mr. Clockwork was charming and didn't care that she had married from the lower level of first class. Her parents were rich, of course, but they weren't old money, and they certainly didn't have a lot of power to speak of.

Because of that, the elites of Gotham thought she wasn't good enough to be in a family such as the Waynes. It was so lovely not to be dragged into conversations that were thinly concealed insults.

Everyone else at the Gala thought Martha had no right to be there with them. Why was she just a few zeros off from being middle class, and wasn't it just so sad that Thomas would stain his family with her?

Secertly, Martha prayed Bruce would do something wild, like marry a girl from Crime Alley or even adopt kids in lower classes to make them all choke on their pearls.

Her son would be one of the most powerful men in a few years, and she couldn't wait to see what kind of hell he would unleash upon them. She would never push, of course, but it would be a nice fantasy to have every time she had to face passive-aggressive comments from ladies told by their fathers they would be a far better Mrs. Wyane.

" Why, hello there. Aren't you the cutest little thing?" Mr. Clockwork coos, smiling down at Bruce. He clung to his mother's skirt, his matching cowboy costume a miniature version of what she was wearing.

The boy had wandered over in the middle of their conversation once he was bored of coloring at his table. Martha couldn't blame her poor baby. There really wasn't much to do for those his age here.

Thomas had stated that children were usually not brought along due to being loud and distracting.

Martha wouldn't hear any of it, insisting her son would be going with them at the party or there would be no party. The majority of the elites believed children should be seen, not heard, and that boiled her blood something fierce.

Thomas had thankfully known when to pick his battles, so he allowed his wife to drag him to a costume store for a family costume to wear. He currently chatting with a group of investors in all his cowboy glory somewhere on the other side of the gala.

"Say thank you, Bruce," She tells her boy, but he only hides his face more, causing the two adults to chuckle. "Do you have kids, Mr.Clockwork?"

"Yes. Two daughters and a son" The man chuckles "All three are a handleful but I love them dearly."

"Oh, how wonderful. Bruce is my only son, but I want to give him siblings," she tells him warmly. She can picture Bruce chasing after his younger siblings dressed up as the Grey Ghost he loves.

She knows Thomas was worried about their chances of having a second child. He was informed not too long ago that he may suffer from secondary infertility. She didn't mind. If they couldn't have a child of their own by blood they could easily adopt.

Martha worked long and hard to provide good orphanages to the city. Maybe one day, a child from there could be her own. She'll have to speak to her orphanage managers- those in charge of the kids- to see if they could help her find one.

They have successfully been getting kids into good homes (At least she thought the number of children constantly changed, and the kids were never seen again, meaning the families that adopted them loved them enough to never return!)

Mr. Clockwork hums "how about giving him a spouse instead? My girls or boy could be a good partner"

Laughing, she assumes he meant her work on bettering the lives of the gay community- in honor of her brother who passed during the AIDs epidemic. "I'm sure Bruce would be happy to hear Mommy found him a husband."

"Is that a yes?" Clockwork eyes' flashed with an emotion that was gone too quick for her to identify.

"Yes, of course. If that is what they both want, I wouldn't mind their marriage at all."

Mr. Clockworks red eyes - contacts? A medical condition?- gleam, and his voice takes on a strange rhythm. "Then so shall it be, my son Danny Fenton shall be married to Bruce Wayne per their Blood Mother and Core Father deal."

Huh. Maybe Mr. Clockwork is a nutcase. Suddenly, she thinks back to her father, who would often tell her that she lived in a delusion because he did not want her to see the horror that Gotham truly is.

Even when you think you're doing good, Gotham has a way of making your work into nightmares.

Was Mr. Clockwork one of those people he warned her about?

Thankfully, he leaves not long after that. He claims he must return to work before his co-workers notice him gone. She doesn't see him for the rest of the night and half wonders if she had been speaking to one of the wait staff they hired as extra help.

Not that she minded, but it made her think his name might not even be Clockwork.

She tells Thomas the story hours after Bruce is put to bed with a candy bucket and the last guests have all slipped home. Thomas is exhausted, having been playing host longer than her because Martha had left around eight to take Bruce trick and treating. Then she got home and put him down for his bedtime.

She got back to the party around eleven but it was a much-needed break from all the hostility that Thomas had been forced to face alone.

"WHAT!?" Thomas booms when she finishes the story. They had just crawled into bed, and Thomas had been rolling to his side for sleep before her words flung him back. "Clockwork!? You're sure you spoke to Clockwork!?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"What did he look like?"

"Um well he was in costume, but red eyes, blue skin, and he was wearing purple robes." She watches as the blood drains from her husband's face. "What is it darling? Who was he?"

"Oh, this isn't good....Alfred! Alfred!" Thomas frantically calls as if the devil had appeared in their bedroom.

Their servant and sometimes lover comes racing into the room, carrying a loaded shotgun. Ever since Thomas had met him overseas when he hired the British man as a personal bodyguard, he fell hard and fast for Alfred but he still deeply loved Martha.

He had sent Martha a letter detailing his feelings for his guard, and only after she had given him permission did he pursue the butler. Alfred had insisted on meeting Thomas' wife to prove that she was okay with him having a lover, so he had followed Wayne back home.

Then he simply never left.

Maybe because he was the best butler Wayne ever had, with his regal training and service in her royal highness' army, but she thinks that her own developed feelings for Alfred convince him to remain.

Alfred insisted that he was only a servant and thus could not be added to their marriage besides a bed partner occasionally. Still, Martha hoped one day they could convince him otherwise.

Bruce already saw him as a second father.

He looks at the pair, dressed in their nightwear in a rather enticing position (Thomas had grabbed Martha by her shoulder, to look into her eyes but that left them rather entangled on the bed) with no visible threat, and raises one brow.

Before he can say anything Thomas is all but rolling out of bed in a frantic leap. He tangles up in the blankets, falling gracelessly over the edge in failing limbs "Martha made a deal with Clockwork!"

At once, Alfred's handsome face drains of blood. "Oh dear, Martha darling, you made a grave mistake."

She can only blink at the men in confusion. "Who is Clockwork?"

"He has many names, but I knew him as Merlin," Alfred informed her evenly. He took her hand in his, the tremble in his fingers revealing his unease. " He had shown interest in Master Thomas before and was the one I protected him from. I barely fought him off and only due to outsmarting him. I would not be able to do it again a second time."

What?

"He is also known as a Fae or incubus in some circles. The kind that steals you away for fun." Thomas babbled from where he was pacing next to the bed, eyes franticly glancing about as if the bogggie man was about to leap out at him from the shadows.

For a moment, Martha wondered why her husband, a man of science and medicine who had never been superstitious, believed this Clockwork was some...some creature of myths.

"Martha, love, what did he ask of you?" Alfred questioned, bringing her hand to his lips as though kissing them would confirm she was safe before him.

"He asked for Bruce to marry his son."

"Oh, gods!" Thomas fretted, speeding up, his long strides becoming far more frantic. "Please say you didn't say yes."

"I-thought it was a joke, I didn't see anything wrong with it, I- said yes."

Alfred closed his eyes, looking like a man who had just been informed his death sentence had been signed by the Queen. "Then all we can do now is pray."

Years later, as Alfred is dusting the portrait of his deceased loves. He allowed his hand to trace the cover of Martha's painted smile and Thomas' strong jaw, mind filled with stolen kisses and sweet nothings that were ripped away that fateful night.

He is still struck by their loss. Every now and then, the knowledge of their death creeps in during his most mundane activities. It's like a kick to the chest every time.

Oh, how he misses them.

Ding Dong

The front doorbell jolts him out of his memories so violently it takes the aged Butler a moment or two to get a hold of his senses. He puts down the duster, climbs down the latter, and quickly makes his way to the door.

Stopping to fix his suit coat, he throws it open with a prepared smile. He expects extra help from the catering company Master Bruce hired for Wayne's annual Halloween Gala.

He was not expecting the two men, one looking nervous around Master Bruce's age and the other sly. His age is hard to gauge, but it may be due to time not affecting him as it did mortals.

Alfred's blood freezes at the sight of those cunning red eyes and smirk. "Merlin."

"Alfred Pennyworth." The demon chuckles. "I prefer Clockwork, as you know, but it's good to see you remember me. Most humans are prone to forgetting in their limited age."

"What are you doing here?"

"Why I came to fulfill the deal between Martha Wayne nee Kane and I"

"Martha is dead. Your contact is void."

Clockwork chuckles again, the sound as deadly as poison. "The contact lives as long as all those involved in it live. You know this."

Alfred presses the panic button on his wristwatch, knowing it sends a message to everyone in the manor to evacuate immediately. He will not live through this battle, but hopefully, it will give Master Bruce time to escape. "You will not lay a hand on Master Bruce."

"Come now, Alfred. We are to be in-laws. Our sons are joining in holy matrimony. Why the hostility-"

"Excuse me what?" The other man-demon? Ghost? Higher-being? cuts in, looking at Clockwork with brows knitted into a frown. "What did you mean holy matrimony?"

"Danny, you're getting married," Clockwork says with a cheerful wave.

"The hell I am!" The man barks, flushing red with anger. Alfred can hardly believe he just yelled at the monster. "I am not marrying some random guy!"

"It is the way things must go for the good of mankind-"

"Oh, go suck on a lemon! We both know that whole "this is fate" is bull!"

"You are embarrassing me in front of our new in-laws, younn man" Clockwork actually waves a finger at the fully grown human. "This is my one chance to marry you off to a good man. We both know that you can't attract a mate on your own."

"What!? Yes, I can! I've had girlfriends and boyfriends before!"

"And yet, no spouse! No wedding! Not even a ring!"

"Moby Dick, I knew this bonding fishing trip was a lie! You can't make me get married because of some contact you made when I was three!"

"It's not permanent! Martha Wayne said If that is what they both want, I wouldn't mind their marriage at all. This means you both must want to be together after one year of marriage. See if you like it, and if you don't, I can always find you a new husband."

"This isn't returning a jacket to a store! I can't just see if I like being married Clockwork!" The man hissed running a hand through his hair. "We're going home. I'm so sorry for bothering you today Mr. Alfred."

Alfred blinks at the young man's sheepish smile, wondering if ti's a trick. "No bother at all."

"Danny, if you leave without marriage, Bruce Wayne will die in an hour due to breaking our contract," Clockwork says, crossing his arms. "Honestly, your sisters were far more mature regarding their marriages."

Danny punches him in the face with a glowing hand. The higher being falls like a sack of bricks.

"Right, I'm going to drop this one off at a nursing home, and then I'll return to marry Bruce. Only so the contact doesn't kill him, and I swear I'll only visit every once in a while until our year is up." Throwing- Merlin, holy shit- over his shoulder as if though he weighed nothing, Danny waves at Alfred and scurries away, vanishing into a green portal.

Alfred is left standing at the doorway, utterly flabbergasted. Distantly, he wonders if the hollowing wind is actually Martha laughing herself silly in the afterlife.

Carefully, he reaches up for his com, switching it on to the sound of his family's frantic bickering. They were all worried about him since he sent the alarm and were fighting about following policy or saving him.

"Master Bruce," He says faintly silencing the coms "Please come to have your suit fitted as soon as you can."

"What for?" His son asks, likely looking for a coded message, but Alfred doesn't have the mental capacity to make one.

"Your wedding, sir. It's tonight, courtesy of your mother."

The coms explode into chaos.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Alfred/Thomas/Martha #spirit halloween #In which Martha thought her lovers were making shit up about their epic battle against the Time Lord #Clockwork is Merlin because he likes messing with humans #Danny is tried of his adoptive dad trying to set him up #arranged marriage #Clockwork hords choas like a dragon and motherhens like a bear #Alfred is just tired

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