#yes there's compromise in couples but not sacrificing your happiness and comfort and i worry that's what's happening here

[qveenpoppy]

tgd writers really have the perfect pair with shawn & claire and they just throw it all away for shawn & lea huh

#the good doctor #yes look who's caving and watching it again #listen it's on i can't help it #sorry to complain about the whole wedding thing but i feel like this episode really showed what a bad pair shaun and lea make #yes there's compromise in couples but not sacrificing your happiness and comfort and i worry that's what's happening here

[smritiscorner]

As a child of the ‘80s, how can I not reference Paula Abdul’s hit song “Opposites Attract” for this piece? It makes a lot of sense when Paula says, “We go together cuz opposites attract.”

Being drawn to someone who demonstrates qualities and habits that are the opposite of you can be very enticing—especially in the beginning of a relationship.

They’re refreshingly exciting and different!

can opposite partners work long-term?

It depends on what the opposite qualities are and if you’re BOTH willing to make compromises and commit to accepting your partner for who they are. It’s also helpful to look for ways your partner’s opposite qualities can benefit both of you while navigating your differences.

Of course, there’s always an exception to every rule. But when it comes to the dynamic of someone being a huge partier while their partner doesn’t drink at all, or someone is uber religious and their partner doesn’t believe, or if one partner is emotionally unavailable while the other is available—in my experience, I’ve never seen these types of couples succeed.

So what opposites can succeed and how? Here are four examples:

The Night Owl and The Early Morning Rooster

I think this comes down to making the most out of the time that you are spending together. Are you consciously connecting in the shared time you’re awake? It’s important to respect each other’s reasoning and desires for opposite sleep patterns.

Keep in mind that this dynamic is separate from the partier and the non-partier, which again, I’ve never seen work. Sometimes my partner loves to unwind by watching late-night television while I’m fast asleep next to him, and I love it. But I would not love it if he was out partying or even in the other room partying!

I completely support and understand why he likes to go to bed later. And he respects that my creative juices are at their peak in the early morning and that my early, quiet, private time while he sleeps is sacred to me.

The Extrovert and The Introvert  

The extrovert and introvert really need to become great at taking one for the team. Sometimes, the introvert will have to step out of her comfort zone and say yes to events, even though she’d rather crawl into her comfy hole. The extrovert will have to be willing to say no to some of his extensive invites.

Another way to make this opposite pairing work: Each person must be OK with one staying home while the other goes out on occasion. As always, both must have a genuine understanding and acceptance of how the other person is wired.

The Optimist and The Pessimist

This is a tricky dynamic to navigate in a romantic relationship, but it’s definitely doable! The pessimist and the optimist will need to be deeply self-aware about their respective negativity and positivity. It’s easy to clock how annoying your partner is when they’re the opposite of you. But in this specific case of opposites, the pessimist and the optimist must acknowledge their glass half-full, half-empty perspectives and recognize that some skepticism or worry isn’t always a bad thing and being Positive Penelope all the time might be delusional.

I certainly don’t wanna sound like a pessimist when I say I don’t believe that love can be enough in a relationship—especially when it comes to opposites attracting if you’re not consciously working through your differences, big or small.  Compromise and a sincere desire to keep each other happy without sacrificing who you are will always be key, even if you’re both pretty compatible across the board!

#couple #shadow and bone #artists on tumblr #the last of us #taylor swift #trending #explore

[catrasredemption-moved]

can I ask a prompt with some ppl giving pregnant catra a hard time? (is it still okay for pregnant catra? if not then it's okay too)

Vomiting TW

Time didn’t heal all wounds.

Catra was aware of it, and she didn’t take it personally when people glared at her or made comments. She drew the line at people trying to physically hurt her, but usually at that point Adora was between her and whoever was taking a swing, and she didn’t have to worry too much.

Even ten years later, Salineas was still the worst place to go. The kingdom had recovered nicely (due in no small part to the hours of sleep Catra had sacrificed to rebuild it), but memories lasted.

Mermista’s word trumped all feelings, though, so when Catra was invited to Salineas, no one could really protest.

“I’m still not sure why we couldn’t teleport,” Glimmer grumbled. “Pretty sure the boat is worse for Catra.”

It absolutely was. Catra had spent most of the journey leaning over the edge, or resting limply against it while Melog tried to comfort her. “Are you sure she’s okay?” Bow added, raising an eyebrow as he looked at her. Adora rubbed the back of her head nervously.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course I’m sure. I’m just... going to go check on her.”

She scrambled across the deck, joining Catra, who was starting to look a little green. “Maybe we should’ve just let Glimmer teleport us,” she said uncertainly. Catra shook her head furiously.

“No. No magic around the baby. Not like that.”

“Then can we at least tell Glimmer and Bow why? They’re worried.”

Catra raised her head to look blearily at their friends, who weren’t even trying to pretend they weren’t staring. “Maybe later,” she mumbled, dropping her head back against the edge. “If I survive this trip.”

They hadn’t told anyone outside of Mystacor they were trying to have a baby, and they hadn’t told anyone when they’d found out last week that Catra was pregnant. They were going to, but she was only six weeks, and they wanted to just wait a little longer, to be absolutely sure. They didn’t need pity if anything went wrong.

“We’re almost there. Just take a deep breath.”

Catra did as she was told - then groaned when the smell of salt water hit her sensitive nose. “Bad idea,” she groaned, leaning over the edge again. Adora rubbed her back pityingly.

It was a relief to finally dock, even if it took Catra an extra few minutes to collect herself and get up. They weren’t that far from the palace, but Glimmer still offered to teleport. “Nope,” Catra said, squaring her shoulders. She was not going to spend the rest of the night locked in the bathroom.

She felt a little better by the time they arrived at the ball room. It was Mermista’s birthday, which was pretty much the event of the season in Salineas. Catra was sure she would have reluctantly accepted if Catra had played sick to stay in Bright Moon, but... who was she to turn up some of the best sea food in the kingdom?

“Yeesh, I figured you guys would get here first,” a dry voice said as they walked into the already crowded room. They looked at Mermista, who was watching them with a dry smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Happy birthday!” Bow and Glimmer hugged her tight.

“Catra insisted on not teleporting for some reason so we had to take a boat-”

“What, was two hours of being sea sick better?”

“A little fresh air never killed anyone,” Catra said dismissively. Mermista rolled her eyes.

“Sure.”

Catra went straight for the food table, dragging Adora with her. “Well at least you’re feeling better,” Adora teased, squeezing Catra’s hand.

“Oh shut up-”

“She-Ra!”

Every time, without fail. Catra rolled her eyes, sighing, as Adora was waylaid by several admirers. She wasn’t about to wait - she was starving. And the baby was demanding shrimp.

And she wasn’t alone for long. Scorpia and Perfuma were already at the table, talking and snacking. “Hey Wildcat!” Scorpia said happily, scooping Catra into a hug. She winced, but smiled, patting Scorpia’s back.

“Hi Scorpia. You mind? I’m dying.”

Scorpia set her down, letting her get to the table at last so she could eat. “How was your trip?” Perfuma asked. “Bow mentioned you were taking a boat.”

“Yeah, enjoying the sights, you know.”

“Did you develop some love for the ocean?” Scorpia asked doubtfully. She’d seen Catra on boats a couple times. It never went well.

“I mean...”

Her attention was torn between Scorpia and Perfuma and the food, not to mention the din of the party. She had almost no warning before a rough hand grabbed the back of her shirt, throwing her to the ground. She landed hard, head snapping back with a crack. The world went blurry for a minute.

“-tra? ...okay?”

Perfuma’s voice drifted in and out. Catra grimaced, blinking a few times to clear her vision. Perfuma was kneeling beside her, trying to help her sit up, while Scorpia held Adora back from punching out the chef who had decided it was a crime for Catra to be enjoying herself in the kingdom she had destroyed. She sat up, grimacing, one arm crossing her stomach. Six weeks. She wasn’t fragile by any means, not like she would be in about six months, but that didn’t mean she could just be pushed around and thrown into floors, either.

“Hey!”

Mermista’s voice reverberated in Catra’s head. The princess cut through the crowd that had gathered, furious. “Adora, stop trying to murder my chef and take care of your wife. Sea Hawk, put him in cell.” The chef started to protest. “You don’t think you get to assault someone at my party and get away with it, do you?”

Sea Hawk appeared to take the chef away; there was no further protest. Adora knelt on Catra’s other side, gently sliding an arm across her back to support her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Catra took a few deep breaths. Her head hurt, but she was fine. The baby was probably fine. It wasn’t even really a baby at this point, just a bunch of magically bound cells trying to make a baby, it would suck if something happened, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It wasn’t like Catra hadn’t already taken to talking to her stomach when she was alone, or poking it experimentally, thrilled about the little life growing inside, or-

“Catra? Catra, hey.”

She was shaking, her breath coming a bit too fast. Adora had a hand on her cheek, trying to get her attention. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Does something-”

The world turned over in a sickeningly familiar way. Catra pressed her face into Adora’s shoulder, groaning, as soon as they were settled wherever Glimmer had taken them.

“Glimmer-”

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to get you both out of there.” Glimmer sounded nervous. Catra wanted to look at her, but her eyes were still squeezed shut and she had no intention of opening them. “I’ll... I’ll be right back.”

She teleported away. “There’s a bed,” Adora said quietly. “Do you feel okay moving?”

“Sure,” Catra muttered through gritted teeth. That turned out to be a lie; she forced her eyes open as she was moved, and the world was spinning. Nope. “Adora-”

A small trash bin was forced into her hands before she could finish the sentence. And of course Glimmer chose that moment to return with Bow, Scorpia, Perfuma, and Mermista.

“Should... I get a doctor or something?”

Adora rubbed Catra’s back as she heaved. “No... maybe? I’d rather take her to Mystacor-”

“For a head injury?”

Catra cracked an eye open to look at Adora, who was watching her uncertainly. She nodded miserably, returning her attention to breathing and trying not to freak out. So much for keeping it to themselves.

“Well, she’s um... she’s pregnant, actually.”

Dead silence followed the words.

“I’ll kill him,” Glimmer declared.

“I’ll help.” That was Scorpia, surprisingly.

“Okay, okay,” Bow cut in. “Maybe murder isn’t the right idea...”

“Let’s not out-rule it completely,” Mermista said darkly.

“It’s probably fine,” Catra mumbled, setting the trash bin aside. “I’ve been sick for like, two weeks, this isn’t exactly a new development.”

“Seeing a healer might still be a good idea,” Perfuma pointed out. “When you’re ready to move.”

“Is this why you didn’t want to teleport?” Glimmer asked. Catra ducked her head, refusing to answer. “Why don’t I go to Mystacor and get someone, and if they  say you’re okay, I can take you home - that has to be better than suffering on the boat.”

“I didn’t think the boat would be that bad.” Catra sighed. “You guys don’t have to stand there and stare at me. Go back to the party - I mean, yes, get a healer first.” She’d feel better just confirming that everything was okay. “But it’s stupid to stand around staring at me.”

“It’s not stupid to want to make sure you’re all right,” Bow said. “And what about our future niece or nephew?”

“Why don’t you stay, Glimmer goes to Mystacor, and the rest of us can go back downstairs,” Perfuma suggested. She had spent enough time with Catra to know when she was starting to get overwhelmed. Scorpia started to protest, but stopped when Perfuma placed a hand on her claw.

“I’ll send up a staff member in case you need anything,” Mermista compromised. Catra nodded, since it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice. She knew her friends cared, though.

Everyone left, and Bow immediately joined them on the bed. “I didn’t know you guys were trying to have a baby.” He was doing a very good job at restraining his excitement and not shouting. “How far along are you? Do you have thoughts about names?” He gasped. “Will they have little cat ears?”

Catra smiled slightly, dropping her head to rest on Adora’s shoulder and letting Adora handle the questions. She knew her wife had been dying to talk about the baby with someone besides Catra, and it was nice to listen to their excited chatter fill the silence.

(Everything was in fact fine, save for the slight head injury, and the healer assured them that it was perfectly safe to teleport with Glimmer. Catra vehemently disagreed with that last part, but that was an on-going debate.)

#MAN that got long I'm sorry #anyway um #here? #pregnant catra #askbox fic #Mystery Person #Sam Answers

[theflashdriver]

Scars

This is a short Silvaze bedsharing oneshot which, as the name suggests, contains a touch of angst. The idea behind this fic came from the very different lives they were reborn into, Silver being trapped in another destroyed future while Blaze had a lonely but relatively healthy upbringing as a Princess, and how their bodies might have changed as a result of that. This is a shorter story, clocking in at only 1,811 words, but I hope you will enjoy!

Oh how wonderfully things had started but Blaze just had to ruin this for herself, didn't she? She was in her bedchamber, laid in bed, but she wasn't alone; teal light ate away at the darkness and tinted her room. Silver lay facing her, his dopey sleeping smile mere centimetres away. They'd only become a couple a few weeks ago but tonight he'd stayed much too late and she'd extended the offer to stay. She watched how his fluffy chest gently rose and fell, oh how she'd love to place her head atop it and drift to sleep. But with a touch, she'd torn herself from peaceful rest to embrace a fitful feeling of guilt that held her consciousness captive. She was casting her hand across his body, gently reaching deep into his fur, and finding scars she could not recognise. Scars that, had she been present throughout his second life, he might not have today.

It had started on his back; she'd shifted her grasp to ease into him when fingers met with coarse and rocky islands in his sea of fur. She'd traced their entirety, a broken line that stretched from the peak of his right shoulder down to the centre of his waist; she could only imagine his attention had been turned elsewhere and some long claw had caught him. This revelation had led to a further search and soon she'd found more scars, most fully healed healing. Second, she'd found an indent to his fur, the type she'd have ignored before this, but plunging to the skin she'd found a dip to his skin; something had pierced him near the spine, an inch to the right and he would have died. Third, she'd uncovered a mark at his hip, where the fur had been thinner and the skin felt rough; perhaps it was a burn… be it by flame or some kind of chemical.

She had pulled her hands away, casting them over her own form; smooth fur and the nigh untouched skin of a princess. She scowled in disgust, she was a guardian and thus a combatant yes but her wounds were tended at the most immediate convenience; no matter how she put others before herself. This body had no scars, at least, none like that of the life she'd lived before. In crisis city things had been terrible, scavenging for food and water just to live another day; fighting monsters for as long as she could remember, and with that had come injuries. She recalled, as a child, her right arm had been caught in a monster’s maw; how she'd had two indents where its burning fangs had pierced flesh, never fully healing. Days later a flaming bird had set about killing her, diving and rending her shoulder with its horrid talons; leaving two lines where fur then refused to properly grow. Blaze exposed that shoulder, running her fingers through the soft fur; not a trace of it remained, lost literally to time. He hadn't let her fight for days after that, insisting she rest and demanding she take more than her share of supplies. She had refused, countering that if he was struck down she'd be unable to protect him and he'd die; that they had to be there for each other. Naturally, they'd come to the begrudging compromise of suffering together; neither of them left their makeshift home for three full days. They’d starved but they’d starved together and she’d got a little better.

Blaze caught herself, was she angry over the good condition of her own body? It was foolishness, bizarre and sadistic foolishness, but despite that understanding, it still ate away at her. It was a manifestation of the difference between their second lives, a lonely repeat in hell and an isolated life of relative safety.

Her hands began to wander again, probing and pushing at his neck. His throat, the lower right side, her fingers hitched. She began to trace another line through his fur; this one a few inches long. The flesh had risen following some kind of laceration, the wound was still a week from fully healing. Would she find them all? Certainly not tonight but undoubtedly eventually, had they matched those of their prior life she'd already know them. Blaze continued to push through that chest fur, feverishly searching for a specific mark. It took what felt like years of padding that one specific spot to accept a certain mark had been lost. Fangs grit and if tears weren’t welling before she could certainly feel them. It had happened when they were so young… he’d foolishly taken a hit for her, despite the fact that she’d surely weather it better. Down the centre of his chest, there was supposed to be a line; a deep crevice hidden only by the thickness of his chest fur.

She could remember the moment as though it happened seconds ago. She couldn't have known him for more than a week back then but, despite that, when an Iblis hound caught them off guard he'd foolishly stood before her. Even that dog, the weakest of Iblis spawn, was far too much for them back then; with a single swing of its horned head his chest had burst open in a spray of blood; he'd been thrown atop her. She'd grabbed him and ran, ran as far and as fast as she could. It was the first wound she'd, very poorly, cauterised; terrified as she did so. It took him a day to reawaken; she'd just gained her first friend and in the blink of an eye thought she'd lost him. When he finally awakened he'd had the gall to ask if she was okay, so naïve. She'd been angry, even that young she'd known what he did was stupid… but they'd both take blow after blow for the other from that day forward. Regardless of how much it worried the other, they knew if the positions were switched that they'd make the same choice.

He'd taken new injuries and lost the ones he'd sustained defending her. She’d lost them all, every reminder of a time she’d saved him. Guilt ebbed through her mind like a feverish pulse, mixed and mired feelings of sadness and anger. What had happened on those days he couldn't fight, when he was unable to rise; had anyone been there to tend his wounds? Had he tended to someone else's? Or had he suffered without her, were things the same he'd have surely died without her but as things were; did he have more scars this time? Her hands slid up to his face, just wanting to hold him somewhere unharmed. Even with these new wounds and without her… he'd been the same. It wasn't as if he'd changed, he was the same naïve idiot who'd smile through that hell and talk about making things better; even if he didn't know how to. He hadn't turned cold from a life so unfair; instead, he'd remained warm. Stupidly trusting and unbelievably kind.

She'd expected death when she made her sacrifice, to traverse realities to some endless void of nothing and explode into flames; the monster killing her but sent somewhere it could never hurt him or anyone else again. Instead what had happened? She'd been reborn into a position of power, she'd been safe and comfortable yet isolate; memories had been stolen. Forces outside their control had severed their bond, she'd had no choice but to abandon him. But, if it was beyond her control, why did these feelings remain? What was this guilt?

"Blaze?" Her eyes snapped up, blurred by tears and tinted teal she could still make out his sunlight yellow eyes. "Are you okay?"

"You're so naïve, asking me that in your state… "She closed her eyes, her whole body tensed; her hand still lay on his cheeks. She felt a pair of arms reach around her; his body pulled closer; when her eyes opened their noses were almost touching. She fought through; "Do you have more scars in this life than you did in the last?"

"Eh?" He blinked, clearly tired and surprised. "I don't know how many I have this time… a couple injuries stand out but I haven't really counted. What’s wrong?”

She wasn't content with that. Her hands traced down from his face to his chest fur, tears were gathering on the pillow; "Thirty-six injuries left lasting scars when we were together; don't make me count the new ones myself."

Silver was still holding her close, he hesitated but eventually replied; "Most aren't as big but… I-I guess more, maybe by a few?" There it was. Her eyes clamped shut, she loosed a sharp breath. She felt the arms tighten around her, "But how many have you got? It has to be less than forty-two, right?"

He couldn't remember his own but of course, he remembered her scars. Her eyes remained closed. "Close to zero. Nothing has left a mark like my life before this one.”

There was no hesitance in his response; she could hear the joy in her voice. "Really? That's great!"

Her eyes opened wide, guilt and anger flowed over; "I sacrificed myself, I chose to give myself up, you should be the one untouched! You should have been safe! I wanted you safe…"

The tears were flowing too fast now, the world a blurred mess of teal, she couldn't make out his face but she felt his forehead pressed against hers. "I wanted to save you but I couldn't do it. The fact that you're not just alive but unharmed i-it… it's great. I'm so glad." Her eyes opened, he was crying too now but beneath his tears was that smile, that broad naïve smile. "You're the one who sealed Iblis, if either of us deserves to be unharmed it's you. L-Life wasn't easy the second time either; but with you safe, I'm so happy. I couldn't want anything more."

Fingers went from his chest fur to clasping wrapping behind his neck; she leant into his forehead. "You say that like you didn't try to seal it yourself… neither of us should have had to suffer that hell, let alone twice."

"Well..." She blinked through the tears, listening intently. He was stuttering; something embarrassing was surely on the way. "I-I'm in heaven now a-and I don't plan to leave o-or let it leave me again." Yes, incredibly embarrassing.

"You’re so naïve." His words hadn't fixed everything, she’d continue to find his scars and with them new regrets, but as she leant in to kiss him she knew it would pass. Whether the scars matched or not he was her Silver. The wounds to show it may have vanished but he clearly still cared. She couldn’t heal those he’d gained, so she’d simply keep him from gaining any more.

#silvaze #Blaze the Cat #Silver the Hedgehog #silver #blaze #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #fanfiction #fanfic #silverxblaze #silver x blaze

[travisandersondatingblog]

How to Know When to Break Up: 20 Signs That It’s The End

It’s sad but true: sometimes even a long-term relationship comes to an end. The key is figuring out how to know when to break up.

If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we’ve all been through a breakup. Whether you were the one to do the breaking or you got your heart smashed into a thousand pieces, you know that breakups can be hard for both parties.

But if it’s been a while since you went through a breakup — or the last big one was major, like the end of a marriage or long-term relationship — you might not know when to break up, when to throw in the towel.

How to Know When to Break Up: 20 Warning Signs

Every relationship is, of course, different, and what every person is willing to deal with in a relationship varies. Also, your past experiences may dictate what you’re willing to suffer through now.

If you were married to an emotionally abusive man, you might think your boyfriend, who simply doesn’t care about you as much as you care about him, is so much better that you’re willing to accept the fact that it’s a lopsided relationship.

I want to say this: while yes, the man you’re with will have some things that completely get on your nerves, you shouldn’t settle. I need you to know that if you aren’t happy- at least the majority of the time- you’re in the wrong relationship. There is someone out there that you can be authentic and blissfully happy with…but you’ll have to break up with this Mr. Wrong to find him.

Here are some of the signs that it’s time to break up.

1. You Don’t Feel the Same Way

You just don’t love him anymore. What should you do?

At one time, you loved this man like you’ve never loved anyone else. And while it’s normal for feelings to settle down from those early days of infatuation, your love for him should grow and remain steady and deep.

If you’ve felt a disconnect with him over the past few months and you can’t figure out how to reclaim the deep love you once had, it may be because the relationship has outlived its purpose. It’s time to move on.

2. You’re Fighting All the Time

I know many couples who think that arguing a lot is totally fine. But they scream, shout, and call each other nasty names…and then apologize and say they didn’t mean it.

Truth comes out when you’re angry. If, in the heat of the moment (over and over again), you wonder why you’re with this guy and loathe him, then probably you don’t need to be with him, even if you calm down later.

So how do you know if your arguing is normal or a sign of a bigger problem? If you’re able to resolve the issue at hand by talking it out, you’re probably okay. But if you continue to bicker over the same topics and they’re not improving, then it might be a sign it’s time to break up.

3. He Seems Distant

You’re having trouble connecting emotionally to your guy. He just seems to be…somewhere else. You’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s shut you out.

He may be processing his feelings about your relationship. Or something else. If he’s going through something like stress at work or having a loved one sick or dying, cut him some slack and wait it out. But if things are otherwise good, but your relationship feels disconnected, things may be ending.

4. One (or Both of You) is Avoiding the Other

He goes out with his friends after work for drinks. When he comes home, you pretend to be asleep. You plan girls’ getaways so you don’t have to be home with your boyfriend. Clearly, the two of you aren’t comfortable being in the same room for long, so it’s time to get to the bottom of why.

Likely one or both of you sees the end in sight and is avoiding the conflict that may come with the breakup. Or you just can’t find the right time to do it. Know that there’s no “right time” for when to break up. Just rip that Band-Aid off!

5. You Worry He’s Cheating

via GIPHY

You’re fairly certain you’re not being paranoid; you’ve found enough evidence that your man is being unfaithful. So what do you do about it? Accuse him and have things blow up? You’re worried that you won’t be able to live without him, despite him being a cheater.

If you’re looking for information about how to know when to break up and your man is cheating, let me just say: DO IT NOW!! Don’t wait any longer because you will convince yourself that you were crazy and that he’s faithful to you. But you deserve better, so get out now.

6. You’re Fantasizing About Other Men…a LOT

Let’s first get this straight: it is completely normal and healthy to occasionally fantasize about being with someone else. In fact, 46% of women have fantasized about another man while having sex with their partner.

So if you’re doing this now and then, you’re totally normal. But if those fantasies are taking up more space than your man is in your head…or if you’re in danger of acting on them, then you know it’s time to end this relationship. You need to be fair to him, and cheating (if only in your head) isn’t a quality of a good partner.

7. You’ve Stopped Having Sex

Again, this is something that’s completely normal for many. You might taper off how frequently you have sex from those early monkey-sex days. You might have weeks or even months where you don’t get frisky.

But if it’s going on and on and neither of you are making an effort to connect physically, it could be an indicator of a bigger problem. There may be underlying issues that you two haven’t addressed that are making it hard for one or both of you to want to feel physically intimate.

8. You’ve Caught Him Lying

You’ve caught him cheating. Why stay?

He told you he was going out with Phil to shoot hoops, but then Phil stopped by the house to drop something off. You’ve caught him in other lies, too. You don’t know if he’s cheating or it’s something else that he’s lying about, but you know that your relationship isn’t okay.

In no way can you trust a liar. Even if you call him out and he promises not to do it again, how can you believe him? Cut your ties and move on. You deserve honesty.

9. He’s Physically or Mentally Abusing You

Here’s another complete dealbreaker. If he lays a finger on you — even once — or belittles you, you need to leave this man immediately. There’s no reason to put up with that. It doesn’t matter that he always brings you flowers and apologizes after. You are not safe.

Speaking of safety, you need to figure out how to know when to break up with an abuser so that you don’t put yourself in danger. He will get angry that you want to leave him, and he may hurt you. Leave when he’s not around and go somewhere that he can’t find you. Or bring a big, strong friend to go with you to break the news to him.

10. You Want Different Things

You’re puzzled. The man you’re with is a great guy. He’s been nothing but wonderful to you. But you’ve reached a point in your lives where you realize you now want different things.

Maybe you want to really focus on your career, but he wants to retire early and travel the world. Maybe he wants to move to Seattle, while you want to stay close to your ailing parents.

It happens sometimes. You might have wanted the same thing for months or years, but sometimes you reach a fork in the road and you have to make a big decision.

11. He’s Got Dealbreakers

Maybe you want to buy a house together…but he wants to live in an RV to save money.

Maybe you don’t want kids…but he does.

Maybe he never wants to remarry…but you do.

These are all huge life decisions that should be in sync between partners, so ignoring them now only delays the inevitable.

12. Your Friends Think You Should Break Up

You trust your friends. It’s time to start listening to them.

The frustrating thing about good friends is that they often see what you don’t see in your relationship…and you’re likely unwilling to admit that they’re right.

You might bury your head in the sand about the fact that your boyfriend is kinda mean to you…but your BFF Laurie is quick to point it out and remind you of what a strong woman you are. You make excuses for the guy, but she’s not accepting them.

If you want to know when to break up…pay attention to what your friends are saying about your boyfriend.

13. You’re Unhappy

There’s no scientific measurement of how happy you should be in a relationship, but to me, you should be happy at least 80% of the time. That means that yes, you’ll have some rough patches over the years, but the overall forecast for your relationship is sunny weather.

If, when you think about it, you realize you’re unhappy much more than you are happy, this isn’t the right relationship for you.

“But Adam,” you say, “we have some really great times together. Don’t those outweigh the dark periods?”

Only you can answer that, but if you’re settling for a relationship where you have extreme highs (but few of them) and deep lows (lots), then I don’t think he’s right for you.

14. You’re Doing all the Sacrificing

You work while he stays home to develop his comedy career.

You gave up your dream to move to Belize because he doesn’t speak Spanish.

You never get to go to your favorite restaurant because he hates it.

If you’re giving up many things that you want so that he can be happy, this isn’t fair to you. A relationship should be about compromise…on both sides. That means you have a win, then he has a win. You give up something, then he gives up something. If you’re accommodating him nonstop then your own needs aren’t getting met.

Don’t wait to figure out when to break up…or you may give everything you’ve got and be emotionally drained.

15. You’re Cheating

Maybe your fantasies about being with other men came to life and now you’re having an affair. Realize that if you’re cheating, it’s probably because there are bigger issues in your relationship.

Maybe he hasn’t made you feel cherished in a long time.

Maybe you stopped having sex a year ago.

Maybe you know deep down that this isn’t the man for you.

I am in no way justifying your infidelity. But I want you to dive below the surface to figure out what’s really wrong in your relationship. Probably it can’t be mended. You’ve broken his trust, whether he knows you’re cheating or not. The best you can do is end things and then work through the issues that led you to cheating so you can have a healthy relationship next time.

16. You’ve Known It’s Over for a While

You know it’s over. Time to end things.

For some couples, the question isn’t if to break up, it’s when to break up. You both have known for quite some time that the relationship is dead, but you both hate conflict and upheaval.

Breaking up means dividing years’ worth of combined personal items. Finding a new place to live. Separating your finances. Letting go of someone you’ve grown accustomed to being in your life.

It’s tough. I acknowledge that. But consider how long you can go on in this state of limbo. Where do you see yourself in five years? Avoiding him and your problems? Or living a full life, maybe with a new partner?

Keep that vision in mind to help you make the decision of when to break up.

17. You’ve Been in Therapy…and It’s Not Working

The two of you have struggled for a while, and you’ve agreed that should you to go to couple’s therapy. It’ll fix things, they tell you.

So you’ve seen a therapist together for several months. The problem is: all you do in each session is blame one another. You’re not solving any of your problems, you’re just rehashing the same old sh#%. Even your therapist has admitted she doesn’t know how to help you.

18. You Resent Him

Every time you look at your man, you feel a swell of anger. Maybe he begged you not to take that job across the country so you could be together, and now you resent him for it. Maybe he convinced you that the two of you were better off not having kids, but your biological clock is still ticking.

Whatever the cause of your resentment, realize that it’s not healthy for the two of you. Unless you can get over your anger, the relationship is doomed.

19. You Feel Stuck

You might have thought his video game habit was cute when you first started dating, but now you feel like you’re with a teenager. You are ready to level up in your life (buy a house, get married, advance your career), but you feel like this relationship is a handicap for all the things you want to achieve.

Your partner should match you in terms of what he wants out of life. He should have similar ambition and drive to what you have. If that’s not the case, you’re stuck on a hamster wheel.

20. You’ve Tried to Change Him, to No Avail

I can’t tell you how many women I know who have tried and failed to change a man. Inevitably, they waste years of their lives and walk away frustrated.

You can’t change him. Stop trying. It’s time to break up with this guy because he will never be what you need.

Breakup Tips

Get your plan for how and when to break up.

Now that you’ve admitted to yourself that it’s time to end things, you need to figure out how and when to break up.

Plan how you’ll do it, particularly if you live together. Where will you go? How will you deal with breaking your lease or selling the house if you both move out?

Set aside your anger to discuss the deeper issues. Avoid blame; you’re leaving and it’s over, so the nicest thing you can do is be honest about why you’re leaving without pointing the finger angrily.

If you think he’ll try to convince you to stay, make a list of reasons he’s wrong for you so you can stick to your guns. Talk to your friends so they can remind you why you’re leaving and can support you through the process.

If you’ve broken up and gotten back together a million times, ask yourself how this time will be different. Don’t go back again. It’s a dead end.

Have no contact after the breakup. If he keeps pushing to stay in touch, ask him for a 3-week no contact rule.

Own your part in the breakup. You can’t put it all on him. It takes two people to make and break a relationship.

Stick to your guns. You’re making the right decision.

Give yourself some grieving time before you date again. You may be ready to put this guy behind you, but you need to honor the time you had with him, reflect on what went wrong, and then find who you are now, post-relationship.

Conclusion:

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[non-stopjess]

Happily Ever After

Summary: Men in Black Inspired. Coulson and May decide it's time to retire, but for them to find peace they must give up something precious: their memories.

Special thanks to @marvelelle for being an amazing beta and friend. <3 You’re incredible for all the support you give me.

Hope you guys enjoy this~

Read on AO3

“Agent Coulson, Agent May, I want to thank you for the years of service you have given our organization, and the sacrifices you made along the way.” Mace looked at his top agents with a forlorn expression as he spoke, before swallowing and squaring his shoulders. “Before we confirm this I want to ask you both again to reconsider.”

Phil and Melinda turned to each other and exchanged understanding glance. “Thank you, director,” Phil responded genuinely, “but Agent May and I have both discussed this at length and think it’s about time we retire. And we’re both aware of the protocol that comes with retiring from SHIELD and are ready to accept any consequences that result from it.”

“Phil,” Mace pressed, “I’m not sure if you fully understand. When we wipe your memory, it’s going to wipe anything that SHIELD has been involved with -- the locations, the procedures, and the people. You’ll even forget about your days in the Academy. Are you sure you want to retire fully into civilian life?”

“Yes,” he responded without hesitation. “Look, Jeffrey, May and I have considered being kept under surveillance instead but looking over our shoulders constantly isn’t something we want to do for the rest of our lives. And even then, there’s still a chance someone could slip past our agents and compromise us. This is the best for the organization... and for us.”

Mace looked at Melinda who stood quietly, a step behind Phil. “Agent May?”

“I agree with Agent Coulson, and want to follow through with the procedure.” Her face remained stoic as she spoke, but in the last few years Mace had been able to learn the subtle hints behind Agent May’s expressions. Underneath her well trained mask he could see a hint of sadness, but also a familiar gleam of determination, one that let him know she had made up her mind, and nothing would change it.

With a heavy sigh, Mace gave them a somber nod. “Alright then. I suggest you prepare for departure and we can get the procedure done within the next 72 hours.”

“Thank you, director. We’ll get everything ready by then.”

As the senior agents turned to leave his office, Mace put away his director persona and stopped them both with firm hands on their shoulders. He reached for Phil first and pulled him into a tight embrace and let out a heavy breath.

“Thank you, Phil, for everything you’ve done for SHIELD, and trusting me with it.”

Phil let out a small chuckle as he returned the directors hug with a few firm pats on the back. “Don’t worry Jeffrey, you’re doing just fine. And if not, you have a top notch team to help you.”

After another moment and another deep breath, Mace let go of his predecessor and turned towards Agent May. She gave him a harsh glare that warned him not to take another step towards her, evidently knowing he had similar intentions in mind. Not deterred by her expression, but still cautious (he did not want to risk a broken nose), he simply opened his arms in her direction and looked hopefully towards her.

With a scowl firmly planted on her face, Melinda refused to budge from her defensive position. From behind Mace, she could see Phil smiling at her softly and urging her to give their soon-to-be ex-director this one farewell token. Her glare momentarily shifted towards her longest companion before she released an exasperated sigh and dropped her arms in surrender.

A grin spread across Mace’s face as he came forward and lifted Melinda in a tight bear hug. Melinda’s lips tightened in response and she remained limp as he expressed his gratitude and sorrow. Despite her obvious show of disapproval, Phil could see the small upturn of her lips.

When he finally released her from his grip, Melinda glared at him and turned to leave the office without another word. Phil patted him on the back and gave him an encouraging smile as he followed his partner out to bid the rest of their team a hard, bittersweet farewell.

“Alright,” Mack announced his return, and slid into the passenger side of the van. “Fries and a shake for a one Miss Daisy Johnson and a delicious bacon cheese burger for me.” He grinned as he unwrapped his sandwich, giving it the appreciative look it deserved before taking a huge bite.

“Does Elena know that you eating all that?” Daisy asked without removing her eyes from their target. “I thought she said ‘turtle man needs to eat less pig and more plant’.”

Mack glared at the back of Daisy’s head as he continued to eat his irregular treat. “Yeah, well I’m trusting my partner to have my back and keep this between us.” She waved her hand dismissively in his general direction, clearly distracted with their mission. “Have you located the targets?”

“Yep,” Daisy made a popping noise with the ‘p’ and smile proudly. “And they are about to make contact in 3… 2… and…”

At that moment, Mack looked over and watched as a petite woman approached an outside cafe table and was greeted warmly by the man who had showed up half an hour early for their “second date”. He let out a snort of disbelief and shook his head half heartedly.

“As much as I disapprove of us breaking protocol and going against the director’s orders,” he continued, watching as the pair chatted with surprising comfortability, “I’m impressed that you were actually able to orchestrate their ‘chance meeting’ at the bookstore last week.”

Daisy turned away from the couple satisfied and turned on the engine of the car. “Coulson and May sacrificed a lot for us and gave up their memories for a peaceful retirement,” she explained simply as they pulled out of the parking lot. “But they deserve to be happy too, and together. That’s all they really wanted.”

With a nod of agreement, Mack sat back as his partner drove past the cafe and back towards headquarters. As they passed, Daisy glanced at the side mirror and watched while her two former mentors reacquainted themselves with each other. She still kept regular tabs on them - as did Fitz, Jemma and Mack - but she knew that they were happier and now, together, she didn’t have to worry about them as much.

This was definitely the retirement they deserved.

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