#you can but it’s harder ig

[13thsinnr]

if i ever ignore your ask i probably was just in a bad mood or genuinely just didn’t know how to respond and to either i am sorry

#asks r hard cause they’re not like dms where you have a back and forth #you can but it’s harder ig #scares me

[deus-ex-mona]

i just think that lxl is incredibly funny, that’s all

#i’m never not amused whenever i see articles emphasising on aizo’s desire to sing while gushing about his (alleged) performing abilities #and yujiro’s desire to perform on a stage while raving about his great singing #ig this is another reason why they *need* each other. they’re essential to each other so true #is this why their love song is called hitsuyou fukaketsu— #imagine if they were actually able to achieve their dreams lol. #aizo would be a pro solo idol and yujiro would probably be performing kabuki with the longleg and shortleg… #come to think of it. in a sense aizo seems to be more of a typical flashy idol than yujiro is… #maybe that’s why he attracts all the ladies (sad aizo noises) #tfw you can get girls but *not* the man you love gg aizo kiss him harder next time you apply your kissmarks #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—

[ivylira]

penacony trash can study 🚮✨

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr fanart #hsr spoilers #? like if you haven’t seen the map at all ig it is #fanart #digital art #illustration #my art #artists on tumblr #THIS WAS SO MUCH HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE #‘i’ll find a trash can in a nice spot to draw and also practice backgrounds a bit since I am incredibly bad at cityscapes’ #well at least the trash can looks nice-that’s what really matters #I think I’m going to try this again later #look my first real post that isn’t old art!!!! #I’ll probably like this more after I go to bed lmao #am incredibly exhausted rn #the highlights are different on the full vs zoomed in bc the full didn’t originally have them but they added so much flavor to the zoomed i #that I added them in and replaced the original #I also cropped it down to cut out the wonky railing so the few ppl who reblogged it all have different versions #edit: it’s been a day and I still hate the full piece #trash can is still nice

[theinfinitedivides]

the real star of Jhoome Jo Pathaan is the silver earcuff and dangle earring that they have given SRK along with his various necklaces, rings, arm taweez and glorious hair, taking no further statements at this time

#film: pathaan #pathaan #bollywood #srk #shah rukh khan #local gay watches Bollywood.txt #nevermind the fact that i am so f*cking early it's not even available on Spotify yet but #he's back in his piercing era and i am living #i think this is one of his chillest choreographies tho and i'm not too sure what to think about that? #like you can tell from the MV that the focus is very much him and Deepika-heavy and not so much dance-heavy #again a bisexual dream with the outfits and camera angles but the rest is just a bit underwhelming idk #still received the iconic T pose + there's a particular step in the chorus that has my hoe brain glitching so ig that makes up for it #along with the hundred other little classic SRK mannerisms that make us all weak in the knees #and Arijit sounds amazing as always even if the tune hasn't grown on me just yet #let me loop it a few more times to see if it's doing half as much as Besharam Rang did for me #edit: the Tamil version slaps harder than the Hindi and i think that might be what convinces me to put it on the playlist #extra edit: i can't believe i'm saying this but since it's out on Spotify now both versions slap harder without the MV #and there's a part in the instrumental that i did not notice until i listened to it over there that also has my hoe brain glitching #it's starting to redeem itself although it's no Jai Jai Shivshankar #more like a weirdly specific cross between Husn Parcham and Enu Naam Che Raees imo #with a little bit of Tattad Tattad lyrically #extra extra edit: i have given my heart twice over to this and if you got the lyrics reference have a cookie #and eat it off of the washboard that are SRK's abs #his smile did me in OK i am now actually fond of this

[some-pers0n]

I'm so close to writing about a character being beaten over the head with a rusty shovel and bleeding out dying to prove just how easy angst is to write

#Humour is so much more challenging than angst and I'm not going to take it back #It takes actual skill and effort to make funny jokes and laugh #Actually great s-tier angst makes you feel like you're transcending to a new plane of existence but you can still hurt people pretty easily #I just find the hard-hitting angst sticks a lot harder #Since most of the time it's either relatable or has been built up to exceptionally well #As opposed to most angst oneshots where it's just a quick and somewhat meh dose of pain #Give me suffeing for 20k words minimum or give me death #sp-rambles #Am I arguing over anybody about this? #No of course not I made a strawman to get mad at like usual #Except IG it's also true here #Comedy is seem as a lesser form of writing than tragedy and whatnot #Which it isn't inherently so

[daz4i]

wait ok one thing i learned from my singing teacher that may or may not be relevant to other people with mountains of self-doubt and anxiety like i have. is that just because something is easy to do doesn't mean it's bad

also, you don't have to push yourself out of your comfort zone constantly. you have to find your limits first and make sure you're comfortable there - find out what your comfort zone even IS - and only then try to step out. if you're in constant survival mode while trying something new or while being creative, you will just associate these things with having a bad time, so what's the point?

we live in a culture that really encourages pushing yourself and constantly getting better, but you can't grow without roots, and you can't run with no legs to stand on. you need to have a sturdy base of confidence and joy to start from and go back to as needed

sometimes trying hard can be to your detriment. it's okay to do easy things for a bit. it might be your best work yet, even if just because you simply felt better doing it. and i think you're gonna be surprised by what you can achieve when you do something just because you like it, with no real goal in mind

#idk if it works with every field and every goal. but it's worth sharing for some people regardless i think #i can say from experience i got leagues better in singing once i dropped the idea that i have to try hard #the more fun I'm having and the lighter i feel the better i sing. so. i dunno. worth applying in other areas of life as well maybe #I'm constantly surprised by what I'm doing and it's always bc i expect things to be much harder #and it's never a point of putting more effort! it's always a matter of simply finding a way that works #so! yeah these are my 2 cents for you today. or ig my teacher's 2 cents passed on through me #hope this might help at least one person 🫡 that'd be cool

[brutal-nemesis]

You already know you've got me invested. So a bunch of questions about your HRT magic system, whenever you've got the time:

- what does the ritual actually look like/involve?

- does the process look the same for both feminizing and masculinizing, or are they different?

- are there any effects that can't really be achieved using this form of HRT?

- how long does it take to build up effects? will you see some changes immediately, or is it slower?

More to come later, I'm sure 😁🧡

suit up bitches it's time for all the trans magic lore

What does the ritual actually look like/involve?

Essentially, person performing the procedure uses magic to force the patient's gonads (testes or ovaries) to produce more of the desired hormone, whether it's estrogen or testosterone. Unlike in our world, where people on E need to take T blockers to ensure that they see results (since T has stronger effects), this change in what the body itself is producing means that T levels would naturally decrease since the testes are producing more E. The actual procedure usually just involves the one performing it placing their hands on the patient's back near their spine and carrying out the spell. This typically takes five or so minutes, depending on how much the patient's natural levels need to be adjusted. The spell only lasts so long, so after a couple weeks it will need to be cast again. The spells themselves are called estrogen/testosterone production stimulation, EPS and TPS for short.

However, as magic advances, beyond the point it's at in Castys's early story and the entirety of Erebus & Terror, a new method is developed that alters the hypothalamus and pituitary glands instead, since they tell the rest of the body of what hormones to produce. This spell, called hypothalamus pituitary direction alteration (HPDA) only needs to be done once as the effects are permanent in the sense that they don't wear off, even after decades. However, it's much more complicated to carry out, so it takes longer to cast and is usually more expensive. The procedure itself usually involves the caster putting their hands on the patient's head and doing the spell for about 20 minutes.

It generally becomes standard practice for a patient to undergo at least a year of E/TPS in order to find the right balance of hormones for them before getting HPDA. The effects of HPDA can be altered later, but it's complicated enough that it's best to get it right the first time, hence using E/TPS as a trial run of sorts to figure out the best fit for each individual person.

Does the process look the same for both feminizing and masculinizing, or are they different?

Yes and no. The actual process is very similar, since it's just changing what hormones are produced, but adjusting the AMAB body to produce E and the AFAB body to produce T are different enough that most doctors specialize in one or the other. There's a lot more nuance to it than just turning up the hormone dial, so specialists in one or the other are skilled at helping bring about the wanted changes and preventing certain negative side effects.

Are there any effects that can't really be achieved using this form of HRT?

Since it's pretty similar to HRT here, it has the same limitations and effects, for the most part. Magic can certainly be used to help with things like top and bottom surgery (which sometimes don't need to be an actual surgery and are just a magical procedure), but neither form of HRT discussed above will completely change primary sex organs or massively alter skeletal structure.

How long does it take to build up effects? will you see some changes immediately, or is it slower?

It's a slow change, happening over the course of years, just like it is for people on HRT in our world. The body takes time to adjust and change on its own, and forcing it to do so quickly can have drastic consequences. At the start of E/TPS, all changes are closely monitored so that the levels of hormone production can be adjusted in order to suit the individual patient best and prevent side effects like emotional instability and blood clots.

#wow an ask #yet-another-heathen #canahi lore #transgender #e&t is either erebus & terror or estrogen & testosterone lmao #but yeah the actual effects are pretty much the same as hrt it's just a different way of getting there! #part of the reason it's like that is because that's what makes sense for the way healing magic works in my world #and part of it is because i sort of...like how long it takes? #just in the sense that i think that slow transformation into the body you want is kind of beautiful in a way #metamorphosis doesnt take a day it's a big change and seeing it come gradually like flowers blossoming is super cool #not trying to undermine how hard it can be to wait for those changes to happen im sure it's harder than i can imagine #but that patience is really admirable and ig this is my way of honoring it #even in this world of magic your brothers and sisters and siblings had to wait too #i hope that doesnt sound insensitive or anything that's just how i felt after reading some trans stories #your long wait is seen and your incredible patience *will* be rewarded

[maddy-ferguson]

just saw someone try to apply something that was famously said about jackie and shauna to mike and will respectively and it tragically did not work at all

#i can see the mike would be fine with being in love with will if it didn't make him queer vision ig but will would be fine with being queer #if it didn't mean he was in love with mike...are we saying the opposite of what we mean now. does will not have a scene in which he says #verbatim that being different makes him feel like a mistake and that mike makes him feel like not a mistake. obviously being gay isn't the #only thing that's different about him that mike would make him feel better about but how do you get will would be fine with being queer if #he wasn't in love with mike from that. obviously mike being his straight bff who's dating his recent sister is a shitty situation but just #what #you already lost me at will would be fine with being queer if *only one change* but the idea of being in love with mike making it #harder for him to come to terms with being gay is literally nonsensical😭 #and like i say: brf slt

[metalsylvester]

Realizing my spite-fueled sobriety is going to have to last like 5+ weeks...

#it's been pretty easy but but but but but #it's still annoying #cw alcohol #it's been like 2 weeks now #and it might end up lasting like 2 months???? #it's to prove that I can so they don't have a hissy fit ab my drinking and delay my top surgery #so like WORTH THE EFFORT #but annoying #ya boy loves getting drunk ok :[ #I honestly thought I would have a harder time being sober & it's only been a mild annoyance #which is GOOD #cause it means I'm not an alcoholic ig #also means the YEAR OF NO DRINKING POST OP won't be as hard #but let me tell you #when that year ends #ya boy will be chugging Jäger like nobody's business #personal

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

trying to write a pair of twins that are 1 girl and 1 boy and realizing it's just rin and len 2.0:

#delete later #ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAKJHSKJHK 😭😭😭😭 what vocaloid will do to your brain #i was thinking abt lucian and luna again and if i did take potential story developments LITERALLY ITS HAKJFDKIJLKMLDF #luna even has a fuckign bow in her design too ARE YOU GODDAMN KIDDINGSH ME AHRIUO8TYIJ. MY FUCKING SUBCONSCIOSU ARE JRDKHKL;L #screaming. YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #i do try to have variety in the way i portray sibling relationships obv like some get along better/worse than others etc #but man. VOCALOID DOES IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO YOUR BRAIN HSKDJH I CAN NEVER BE IN PEACE #funnily enough i was also thinking abt a scenario w/ gekiyaku & kazehiki and in THAT case its a weird fucking. reverse #cause i was like 'wait this is just lucian & luna's story all over again' SO. HUH. #in that case i think potentially its just i keep fuckign reusing the same shit tropes over and over again GODDAMMITTTT 😭😭😭😭 FUUUCCKKKK #IM SORRY IM PREDICTABLE HKJNK 😭 i just. some tropes hit so much fcking harder than others personally idk #my mentally ill brain gravitates towards certain things b/c i have certain issues ig i am A Tad Bit Messed Up 😔✌️

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

You are seriously my favorite blog right now. You opinions and meta for ikevamp are so spot on. You somehow are able to flush the characters more than the canon. I just wanted to say I appreciate all the time you put into your writings and I love everything you have written so far!!!!

In Comte and Leo we trust 🫡

Aww, thank you so much! 💛💛💛

Honestly I have no control over the brainworms, I feel like Ikevamp is so saturated with implications that extrapolating becomes so much natural fun for me. I started writing and analyzing (with no supervision to stop me, big mistake) and I'm still so fascinated with it. I can't believe it's been almost what...four years? Five years? Since I started playing the Japanese version where this all began. I'm frankly flattered a lot of people agree/like my takes, it makes sharing my work really rewarding in ways I never expected~

I don't always have time for more than Comte thirsting and silly quotes these days, but you're more than welcome to enjoy what I've curated here! I imagine I won't stop shitposting until the app is discontinued, and even then I'm not confident I'll shut up 🤣🤣🤣 Comte's the best baby girl I've ever known lmfao

o7 PUREBLOOD STAN OR BUST HELL YEAH!

#tysm for such a kind ask! this made my day <333 #pureblood propaganda #(people need to stop validating my breaching containment it only makes me more powerful /j) #sometimes I wish the eng ver implemented more of the depth and hank pank from the og more consistently but alas #localizations are a bit of a hit or miss business im afraid #i also love how i've inadvertently created a sad pureblood fan club over the years (not you vlad) #(you can join after you've had your time out like a good boy) #but in all seriousness i find their lives strikingly saturated with complex emotion and subtle tragedy/melancholy #ig for a lack of a better description i just feel like they're relatable? #like yeah if i was leonardo and my abusive family could harass me forever #i would also be incredibly guarded and set in my ways to protect myself and probably hate vampires and their power plays #if--like comte--i felt a sense of identification with the people i was pressured to subjugate #i'd feel lost and empty too; unable to co-exist with my own kind but also inevitably at a distance from humans #both scenarios create an emotional and relational quagmire #and i think what's even harder about it for both of them is that they just have no choice--and rather few allies besides each other #all they can really choose is duplicity if they wish to remain true to themselves and reasonably survive #and i think that's a really exhausting/somewhat self-impoverishing position to be in #comte tries to subsist on ephemeral moments he shares with people--with varying levels of success (little) #leonardo forces himself into stasis bc if he doesn't he'll keep making the same mistakes #aka getting too close to people and getting hurt when their time ends #ive prbly said all this before but idk in light of so much i've learned since starting this blog #the allusions to vampirism being a vehicle for certain 'othered' identities seems boundless to me (domestic abuse/class structures/nd etc.) #vlad is a pureblood but he seems like one of those flat movie vampires pandering to the aesthetic obsessions of a v particular audience #any story needs both flat and round characters--so naturally his existence serves a purpose/function; nothing wrong with that #but i find myself to be too Shrek to be v invested in him (FAVES HAVE L A Y E R S) #ig i just think its very easy and a bit bland to associate vampires with horror/gore/unmitigated violence/extreme emotionality #but much more engaging to explore the status of monstrosity as it relates to oppressed identities and unconventional kindness #or maybe that's just the monsterfker in me--in which case sorry everyone being cringe on main (it will happen again)

[gifti3]

also malleus and lillia willingly going to high school is insane to me

#WHY ARE YOU HERE #i mean im sure theres reasons #but its insane to me cause its the last place i would want to be #college seems like a better place to get a proper human experience #but maybe it wouldnt be good for malleus #in high school ur forced around the same people most of the day so people kinda know you regardless #college can be extra isolating if u have bad social skills #so malleus would probably have an even harder time #ig i answered my own question? maybe #twisted wonderland #i feel like im just gonna be talking about this game for the next week #twst malleus #twst lilia

[qilinkisser]

eye twitch.

#sorry in advance that the infrequent posting ur getting is venting #vents 🌧️ #I just. gh #I am trying so hard to be as good a friend as I can #but where the fuck was this when I needed it last year #I was literally fucking dying last year. I was slowly bleeding out for so fucking long. and I mean that LITERALLY. #I was in the worst pain of my life #and then jax's elim.. looking back on what that did to me while I was in such a vulnerable state.. #it fucking destroyed me and almost nobody took it seriously #princey understood and that was it. #I cried my eyes out over it harder than I had in literal years #and still everyone else thought I was being dramatic #it's not fair it's not fair. I still can't think about it for too long before I start crying #and it's been over a year. this fucking sucks. #whatever. #[through gritted teeth] I'm breaking the cycle I'm breaking the cycle I'm b #if you read this far: Sorry #idk why this blog is becoming such an outlet for me. ig it's a place I feel safe

[suburbanlegnd]

im a sucker for their wrappeds. if I use a mod apk will I be able to see the wrapped

YEAH, YOU WILL! Here's my spotify wrapped from last year if you don't believe me!

#but it all depends on your device #like it's super easy if you're using an android #but it's harder if you're using an ios (ive never had an apple device) #i think you need a desktop to install it into your ios phone #although there's also many ways to disable all ads on windows desktops (and Macs ig?) so that's always something #so if you have an Android then i can recommend you the best (and safest) way to download the modded apk 👍 #vee <3 #asked

[elegyofthemoon]

tbh i think i just need to get into a media thatll shake me to my core the way me revisiting p//andora hearts at a crucial time shook me

#nothing will top how ph means a lot to me seriously adklfakdah #i can talk forever about why oz means a lot to me but why would i do that actually thatd be terrible adslkjfahl #if you need a character thats very very essential to me its oz honestly alsjkdfalkjs #i feel like thats REALLY ALL YOU NEED everyone else is just little snippets #but anyways! #some evil part of my brain is like 'hon//kai can be that for you and im fighting for my life' #'its not allowed to.' #i mean i was already feeling it with ch 9 ex bro i had to go lay down watching kiana in that chapter holy fuck man asdlkfjahl #but yeah idk i feel like....if i was able to dedicate more time to finishing up pt 1 i think honkai COULD have that potential. i sense it #it gives me the same levels of interest as like p//andora hearts and n//ier so 👀 #but yeah anyways. i just need something to shake my life from its pedestal #thats another thing i kinda miss #i think its just that bc of how much all this has drained me #its been harder to really enjoy things that i ACTUALLY enjoy doing #the only thing i got going for me are my dumb comics bc thats low energy + i dont care if it looks super bad theyre funny to me #i guess i just miss being super passionate about interests #augh #snow speaks #i am feeling a lot better now but ig thats only if i just focus on doing things i like

[dreampearls]

furina as the most blatant christ/christian inspired figure in genshin accompanied w her being the way she is so awesome to me

#girl who kind of sucks but is doing her best and everyone loves her and she kills herself* to fix everything so its fine now #*ik technically not furina You Know #sniffles she shouldered everyones sins she suffered silently all those years... #man it would have been so crazy fun if they had leaned harder into biblical theology for this #ig you can kinda stretch that neuvi/traveler = judas? eh. not really but that final trial was the biggest/only betrayal that i can think of #that can map onto judas' #hmmm were there 12 total characters in that final act i wasnt counting.. sniffles give my girl her apostles