#I just find the hard-hitting angst sticks a lot harder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bunnybubae · 7 months

Text

(M)🚦Red Light: The Strength | Ch2 [JJK]

👉🏻[Series Masterpost]

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)

Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst

Summary: Jeon Jungkook never let any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past you'll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It's a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile. Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?

Chapter Warnings: lots of teasing, longing, JK is a menace, heavy flirting, he calls her princess sometimes, sporadic mentions of the ex I hate him, Hani and Tae are annoying but we love them anyway, overall a chapter based on their first ride together.

Wc: 7.3k

A/N: Hello there! Second chapter is here and I hope you'll like it! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻 Let me know what you think about the series, my box is always open! - Joy🐰

November 30th, Thursday

“Wanna do one last session?”

Your workout today has been intense, Jungkook is already all sweaty as he approaches you gasping for air. Since he taught you a combination of punches, he loves to keep you trained by wearing mitts and letting you hit them in a given order and speed, hence why he's willing to go one more time despite his tiredness.

These sessions are a great way to improve your guard and reflexes and you noticed some benefits right away when you first tried, over two months ago. Over this time, you've learned a lot thanks to his patience and way of teaching.

The water you're sipping flows pleasantly down your throat, refreshing you as you try to enjoy this little break. Your clothes are sticking on your skin uncomfortably, but you feel like you can push your limit a little bit, before you can finally relax your muscles and take a much needed shower. You nod at him, putting aside your water bottle.

The gym is now pretty much empty, all thursday night it takes place the last adult class of the week before the gym is open on the weekend for the equipment usage only, so all members usually rush to the showers earlier to avoid it being too crowded in the changing rooms when the shift is actually done.

This gives you the opportunity to take advantage of the available space to give your all during your last mitt session of the week.

You hear him slap the gloves he's wearing, ready to receive your punches and when you put yours back on and reach him at the center of the tatami, his gaze momentarily lands on your face.

"Aww, is princess too tired?"

He fakes a mocking pout as he looks at you with those big doe eyes, his ruffled hair is giving him a cute look right now, in perfect contrast with his glistening muscles and heavy breathing. The duality is impressive. He manages to annoyingly tease you every time he gets the chance and he always looks so cute and hot at the same time. You roll your eyes, mostly annoyed at yourself for the effect this mix has on you.

"Princess is always ready to destroy your mitts." You puff away, drying up some sweat on your forehead in the process.

"Destroy is a strong word, with those cute little hands I'd say you barely tickle the mitts, but whatever you wanna believe."

This is his way to encourage you, you know it very well by now.

He wants you to hit harder and harder, each punch more precise than the previous one and you find yourself smiling in defiance as you adjust your posture. He wants you to prove him wrong, even if he knows you're able to punch hard enough now, he wants you to show him but most of all yourself that you can always improve. It became one of his favorite hobbies, to tease you endlessly, and if this can push you to give your all, it's like killing two birds with one stone.

"Last time these cute little hands," You show him your gloved fists "punched your side by accident and you complained about it for a whole half an hour." You reply, looking at him with a smirk as he assumes his usual posture on the tatami, right in front of you.

"But I was still standing though, wasn't I? Anything that doesn't knock me out is a tickle, princess."

He continues to smile at you as he languidly motions for you to come closer to begin as you try to avoid the annoyingly pleasant sensation that this stupid pet name always provokes you.

You snort softly at his remark and you ready yourself to throw the first punch at his signal.

"Won't be an accident next time and you're gonna regret what you just said." Your words sound like a poor threat that makes him chuckle.

"I'm so scared." The shiver he faked while smirking is enough to make you roll your eyes once again. Something that happens quite often with him. Bantering with you is so satisfying for him, he knows you're going to give him what he's looking for, just to prove him wrong.

He starts moving the mitts he's wearing and in a matter of seconds, the loud sound of your gloves hitting his fills the room.

Punching them or the punching bags is always so liberating.

The movements you can make now are much smoother and precise than before, and you quickly began to love the feeling of a punch that hits its target correctly. You're so tired after an entire workout, but you still manage to hit his gloves in the right order, without missing one.

He's always been well concentrated on your technique during this kind of exercises, but you recently noticed that he lets his eyes wander around your body more often during mitt sessions, and you have to admit that you like it. It makes you feel attractive even if you're all messy and sweaty.

Gym clothing hugs your body perfectly, accentuating your curves just right. It must be a great distraction for him as you catch his eyes falling on your cleavage. This detail makes you giggle as you throw the last few punches of the combo.

You gasp for breath, looking at him with a satisfied grin on your face, both for the well execution of the session and for his obvious glances on you.

"What were you looking at, huh?" Jungkook removes his mitts as his guilty gaze meets yours nonchalantly.

"They were staring at me, not my fault."

You laugh out loud at his silliness, causing him to join you when you throw your gloves at him.

You feel regenerated both mentally and physically when you come to the gym to workout with him, Jungkook always finds ways to boost your self-esteem and to make you believe in your capacities.

To banter with him, teasing him and letting him tease you, honestly the best part of the experience.

It's thanks to him if you're more confident now, he's the kind of instructor who is keen to remind you that hard work always pays off and that your improvements are evident after each workout. You're grateful to him for this, this kind of stimulus helps you keep your determination high. He's also a pleasure for the eyes, but that's another story.

“Anyway, I need to tease you more often, those little fists were slightly more than ticklish today!” When he acts like this, you just want to erase that smirk of his by slamming your lips on it.

God, you wish you could do that, you way too frequently find yourself wondering how would it feel to have that lip ring brushing on your skin. You imagine his pillowy lips dance with yours, wondering if they are as soft as they look.

He catches you staring at his mouth for a while too long and, like a cherry on the cake, you keep watching him as he lets his tongue poke out to briefly wet the line of his lower lip to then play with the piercing that rests on its corner. A wider smirk takes place on his tired face, one aware of what he's doing to you. His lips are glistening now and you wish you could taste them.

You look away as you try to ignore the feeling that such a simple thing caused in your belly.

"Shut up." you mumble as you move to reach your discarded gym bag at the corner.

"Make me."

When you turn around to look at him again, Jungkook has a seemingly more serious expression and even his tone didn't seem to match his usual way of teasing you.

This sounded different.

His eyes are fixed on you with an enticing look. You're not sure you heard him correctly initially and you instinctively look at your surroundings. There's no one around, Is he really aware of what he's implying? Is he ambiguously asking you to shut him up with a kiss?

Your cheeks are on fire as your eyes drop briefly to his lips again, that sensation in your belly grows a little more. Does he really want it?

"W-what?"

Jungkook lets out a low chuckle, wetting his lips before he breaks eye contact with you and picks up your gloves and his so he can store them.

"I'm teasing you princess," he says lowly as he walks away "I like seeing you all flustered."

Damn you, Jeon Jungkook, and his effect on you.

You can't see his face, but you can hear it in his voice that he's smirking proudly.

"As I said before, next time it won't be an accident, you'll regret it." He laughs and you try your best to pretend that his actions and words are effectless on you as you follow him to the same corner to collect your things.

When you check the time on your phone your stomach drops.

It's way past the time you usually leave, you haven't even booked an uber yet and the gym closes in less than 10 minutes.

"Shit" you mutter.

"What's wrong?"

You're frowning and your expression seems to worry him as he turns to you.

“I didn't think it was this fucking late!” A mixture of irritation and concern laced with your voice. “Can I still take a shower?”

He observes you as the rush has begun to take over your body as you quickly gather everything up.

"Are you sure this isn't all an excuse to stay alone with me a little longer?"

You come to a halt. Smart guy, he knows by now that you want to leave early every time for a reason he ignores, and by asking this, he knows that you'll have to answer, one way or the other. Either way he'll get something he wants: a flirty answer or the truth. He still leaves the choice up to you, not forcing you to tell him exactly why you're always in a rush but hoping you would tell him anyway.

He's looking at you with a flirty gaze to hide his curiosity.

You're not really sure you want to talk about your ex who ruined your life right now and at the same time you don't want him to think there is actually something to worry about, given your sudden concern.

Your face softens a little, you prefer a million times more to flirt with him than to talk about Ray. So you take the opportunity to flirt back and avoid spilling the real reason.

"You'd like that, huh?" you reply quickly as you cross your arms over your chest.

"I'd start to think you have a crush on me."

You feel your cheeks blush and you can't help it, you just hope he doesn't decide to tease you further for this. It's like he's trying to pull out at least one truth from you, given the fact that you refuse to speak about the real reason behind your hurry, it's like he's trying to get you to at least admit you're attracted to him.

You decide to bypass his last remark, not wanting to give a clear answer to that so you opt for something else, "I-I forgot to book an uber earlier and I'd rather take a shower while I wait for it to arrive."

Which is basically true, despite you've omitted the part that includes your fear of encountering your crazy ex.

Jungkook smiles gently at you, you can see on his face that he really loves teasing you and seeing you so bothered because of it.

Maybe you just gave away one truth anyway by stuttering like that.

"I can take you home after I tidy up, if you don't mind being a little late."

You ponder for a brief moment but you don't really have to make a decision. You would answer him right away with enthusiasm, but it would be too obvious.

Is there any possibility you would refuse? Of course not. You wouldn't have to wait outside and to be honest, getting the chance to spend some more time with him, you don't mind at all.

"Who's the one making excuses to be alone with me now, huh?"

Your cheeks are still burning but you reply confidently as you smirk at him, proud of your flirty retort. You'd be lying if you said you don't like flirting back like this. Your confidence wins over your shyness most of the time. If only your cheeks would collaborate more.

Jungkook catches your gaze for a second, one of his eyebrows shoots up in surprise, as he smiles back "What if that were the case?”

“I'd start to think you have a crush on me, Jeon Jungkook.”

"You'd like that, huh?"

His voice is soft and you match his tone when you cunningly say,

"And what if that were the case?"

You look into each other's eyes as you try to hold back your laughter, dying inside as the flutter in your stomach intensifies. You're sure you can toast some bread on your cheeks by now.

Jungkook's flirting became more and more intense with time and so is your attraction toward him, your way of playing the game became more and more explicit. You love this, even though he can be a little annoying at times and he makes you blush incessantly, this thing that you two share always brings a smile to your face.

He pushes his tongue inside his cheek in amusement, a distinctive trait of his when you find a nice retort to his flirty banter. It's clear that he loves seeing you all flustered but apparently he gains even more satisfaction by this confident side of you.

Everyone left except you and him. As you shower, you feel the weight on your chest slowly lifting at the idea of not having to wait outside alone at this hour. It reassures you knowing that Jungkook himself will take you home, it makes you feel excited and nervous at the same time.

When you finish and you're happily clean and dry, you return to the main room of the gym. You notice that it is now mostly rearranged and that the place almost seems bigger like this. The faint smell of flowers stronger than before.

You find Jungkook busy with reorganizing the dumbbells rack and when you approach him, you tell him that you can continue fixing the place so he can have the opportunity to take a shower. He accepts, thanking you and then heading towards the men's changing rooms as he assures you that he won't take long.

You finished tidying up the gym, finding the time to water the flowers and plants before checking the time. It's already past 11pm.

You had never stayed till gym closing and you didn't think Jungkook had to stay so late every night to clean up the entire place by himself.

When he's back, he's wearing black fitted motorcycle pants, you notice the padding at each knee and you gladly take in the sight of his muscled thighs, perfectly wrapped by the fabric.

His baggy sweatshirt deceives from the real size of his shoulders and pecs but you think this style suits him, the fact that you saw him shirtless multiple times and that you know what his muscles look like underneath his sweatshirt, makes a shiver run down your spine.

He thanks you for the help and tells you to wait for him at the emergency exit on the other side of the gym as he needs to shut down the lights before you can leave.You comply, taking your bag on your shoulder and reaching the exit that gives to the back of the building.

When he arrives you notice that he is carrying a backpack and that he's holding a black helmet with red and white details that you cannot define.

Fuck, you'll get on a motorcycle for the first time and it's gonna be with him. The mere realization makes you a little nervous.

He smiles at you spontaneously before you walk out together and he shuts the door behind him.

The back of the gym is dimly lit but you can take a glimpse at the red fairing of a motorcycle, parked a few meters away from you. The light from the street lamp gives it a nice glow and for some reason you can't stop looking at it. It's different from Tae's and you reckon he's right by saying that every motorcycle reflects its rider a little.

Tae's is a beautiful midnight blue, with an almost elegant shape for a sports motorcycle, while this is a vibrant red, with black, white and golden details. The shape of the two front headlights seems to look at you with challenge, somehow it's similar to its owner's defiant gaze. You think it suits Jungkook's vibe perfectly.

“How fast is this beauty?” you ask curiously as you stop near it.

"It depends. On the track very, very fast, on the road the speed limits."

Jungkook places his backpack on the saddle, and you watch him take out a jacket and a pair of gloves.

“I bet that's what you tell the cops.” you snort.

"Yes, officer."

“Do I look like a cop to you?” you giggle at the thought. You look at him as he quickly replies with his usual smirk on his lips “Oh I would love to get handcuffed by you, in that case.”

Jungkook locks eyes with you as his grin widens into a smug one. You blush and you thank the heavens that he can't see your burning cheeks due to the low light.

You bite your lip briefly to hold back a smile. "Too bad I'm just a tattoo artist then."

Your voice is soft and it's clear that you would love it too. You would enjoy your ways with him, spread on your bed, hands immobilized over his head as you do everything you imagined and fantasized to do to him over the weeks, just to hear him groan in satisfaction.

His face shifts to a little more serious one, his smug smile is still there but in his eyes you glimpse that veil of sadness that often comes to visit him.

You would like to ask him something, anything that could make you understand even remotely what is tormenting him, but you never find the courage to go beyond this exchange of glances, it's as if you both know that there is something that torments you respectively, but it's like you want to respect each other's silence at the same time.

It's some sort of silent pact that has been casually created over time: You know there's something, I know there's something, none of us will go beyond this.

Even if sometimes you both gave the chance to speak up, neither of you forced the other, and it's ok like this.

Before your eyes can even mirror his fragile gaze, Jungkook hands you his jacket.

"Is it your first time on a motorcycle?"

You grab the clothing piece and nod, inspecting it quickly. You notice that it matches the pants he is wearing perfectly: black leather with red and white inserts and as you touch it you can feel the padding positioned in the weakest points of the torso and arms.

"Put it on, I won't speed but better safe than sorry."

By the time you wear it and zip it up, Jungkook is already on his motorcycle. The jacket is a little too big for you but it smells so much like him that it almost feels like he's hugging you tightly.

What a sweet poison to your brain. Feels like it can be addicting and that's dangerous.

You let the sensation seep through your body for a moment before you notice that Jungkook is watching you with attentive eyes and an indecipherable expression.

He immediately looks away to grab his helmet, which also matches his gear and motorcycle. Then he hands it to you, gesturing to you to put that on too.

The lingering scent of his jacket has been enough to make your heart beat faster, but when you push the helmet on your head, the added scent of his shampoo fills your nostrils and you feel totally overwhelmed by your sensations.

You feel him everywhere and he's not even touching you.

The roar of the engine surprises you, bringing you back to planet earth. Now that you notice, Jungkook is adjusting his motorcycle gloves and although it's a completely innocent motion, your senses are too affected right now to find it a normal gesture.

Where's the news though? You've now resigned to the idea that he is able to make anything he does sexy and attractive to your eyes, like that time your gaze shifted to him while he was talking to some members of the gym and he absentmindedly caressed his sore abs. A very normal gesture, but you are so attracted to him that even such a harmless movement had an effect on you, just like now, as he fixes his gloves on his motorcycle.

"Where am I taking you?" Jungkook places the phone on the specific support on the handlebars, and then presses your address on the screen after explaining to him which area of the city you live in.

Jungkook holds out a hand to you, gesturing with the other towards the footrest on the sides of the bike.

"When you're ready, put your left foot on that and bring your right leg over the saddle, unfortunately it's not very comfortable but for such a short ride it should be fine."

You follow his instructions, placing your hand on his to give you support as you sit behind him.

This is where the closeness starts to make you feel warm, but you're determined to blame the padded jacket for most of it. His firm back against your chest can't cause you such warmth, right?

"Aren't you going to be cold?" You ask, feeling a little guilty at the idea to make him drive in just his sweatshirt.

"Don't worry about it," Jungkook shakes his head and then puts his hands on the tank in front of him "Put your hands here for support or wrap your arms around my belly if you need." Explaining that when accelerating you might lose your balance.

You would've said something about his suggestion to put your arms around his body, but you sense that he's serious right now and you don't want to tease him. He wants to make sure everything goes well and that you're comfortable during the ride. You smile at the way he's trying to make your first experience as enjoyable as possible, even while remaining without his gear in the process.

“Okay, I'm ready.” you finally say as you position your hands on the tank as per his instructions.

Jungkook nods, he turns towards you after looking at you from the side mirror and with one hand, he manages to close the visor that you had forgotten open.

You thank him by shouting into the helmet to make sure he can hear you and the muffled tone of your voice makes him chuckle.

Jungkook takes off the side stand when he feels the weight of your body resting on his back and your hands are firmly leaning on the tank in front of him, then he speeds up to leave the parking lot and the roar of the engine runs through your body.

You never thought you'd get on a motorcycle, since Tae offered you a ride a couple of times and you never felt entirely comfortable at the idea of riding in this position with him. Not that it necessarily implies anything intimate or inappropriate. You trust Tae, but you kinda feel a strange connection to Jungkook right now. Maybe it's the vicinity mixed with wearing his gear that makes you feel somewhat closer to him in a deeper sense, it's a strange feeling added to the utter attraction you already feel for him. Riding with Tae would surely be something completely normal between friends, but you're glad you never accepted before, because now you get to enjoy your first ride with Jungkook.

The road is mostly empty and you appreciate the sound of the engine breaking the quietness. Jungkook is keeping his word by driving at a slow but steady pace, the wind ruffles his hair a little and you look at him from the side mirror. You notice that from time to time his eyes also stealthily search your reflected figure. You're glad you have the visor hiding your gaze, so you can check him out as much as you like without him noticing and taking the chance to tease you about it.

Your eyes wander a little further down, lingering on his muscular thighs hugging firmly both sides of the motorcycle. You find yourself fantasizing about him once again but the train of dirty thoughts is brutally interrupted when with a slight braking, your body is unexpectedly pushed forward. Your chest is suddenly pressing a little harder onto his back and a small bump between your helmet and his head is inevitable.

"Oh fuck-sorry!" you shout in displeasure and Jungkook bursts out laughing as he turns to the left before he glances at you from the side mirror briefly.

“It's nothing." He reassures you with a smile and then his focus is on the road again as he plays with his piercing mindlessly.

You're really enjoying your first ride on a motorcycle, something else is now overlying the slight discomfort caused by the saddle.

The realization that you're living this moment, riding his motorcycle together, on a street lit by colorful street lights flashing on your bodies as the wind caresses your figures. There is something extremely pleasing about all this, something that you have never experienced before.

You recognize your neighborhood as you approach your apartment complex and you feel a little sad, knowing that the ride is almost coming to an end.

Jungkook reaches the outdoor parking lot of a bunch of buildings and follows your directions when you point at the right apartment complex.

He stops at an empty spot near the entrance of the building and he turns off the engine.

When he turns to you, he offers you a hand to help you get down but you turn away, pretending not to see. Jungkook laughs at your futile attempt to stay in the saddle a little longer.

“Isn't it uncomfortable?”

You look at him, tilting your head slightly and opening the visor of the helmet.

"Just a little, but I loved it anyway!"

He can see your eyes only and they are glowing right now with content. The same glint he had at the beginning, when he first discovered this passion of his, when everything felt so new to him, when everything was still… normal.

He tries to push aside the impending sadness that threatens to take over his features, you're so cheerful right now and Jungkook couldn't be happier to be sharing with you your first experience, the least he can do is to not ruin it.

He has the sweetest smile right now, one that reaches the depths of his eyes. Witnessing him like this, disheveled, with cheeks and nose reddened from the cold and a smile brighter than the sun, you understand that these "things" you're feeling for him, are dangerous. You're sure the "things" were limited to a simple physical attraction, but the more you spend time with him and the deeper you get to know him, the more a feeling that scares you creeps up on you, one that explains in an appalling way the meaning of the flutter you feel in your stomach every once in a while when you're with him.

You wish you were able to navigate these waters like anyone else would, with a little shyness perhaps, but with a great desire to discover where such a beautiful feeling that once made you feel so alive, might lead in the future.

You realize Ray has really taken away all your enthusiasm for anything beyond physical attraction. And he comes in your mind too often for your liking.

Better shove this sensation back where it came from. Feelings and deep trust for someone always lead to a bruised heart at the end, and an aftermath you wish you could recover faster from.

You decide it's better for you to preserve what you've achieved till now, it's easier to manage the lust that spreads through your body when you see him, you don't need that little seed to bloom in your heart, you won't allow its prettiness to break you apart and all you needed to realize this, are these beautiful doe eyes that are watching you right now through the side mirror.

You look away with a little effort, deciding that it's better to get off of the motorcycle now. You put your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself on the footrest, pushing a little of your weight on them to bring your right leg over the motorcycle and onto the ground.

You feel a tingly sensation all over your legs but it's nothing uncomfortable.

You take off the jacket and when he grabs it up to put it on, the fabric fits his body perfectly and you can't help but look at the way it seems to flatter his broad shoulders even more.

Jungkook hums in satisfaction as he allows the jacket to warm his body and he smiles when you reluctantly remove the helmet.

Your slightly ruffled hair slides over your shoulders and the padding marks of the helmet plows your cheeks. He keeps looking at you, as if he wants to tell you something but he immediately thinks better of it apparently, as he says nothing.

“Thanks for the ride, it was really cool.” you say when you hand him his helmet.

"No problem, glad you enjoyed it."

When he puts it on, you take a moment to take in the sight of his figure in his motorcycling gear. Jungkook has a gorgeous body, there's no doubt about that, he's hot in his gym clothing but he's even hotter on his motorcycle. You realize that you haven't been particularly discreet checking him out, especially when he looks at you through his helmet, you know very well that he is smirking all satisfied, you can see it in his eyes.

"Be careful on your way home."

It's what you say, it comes out all of a sudden as Jungkook restarts the engine and removes the side stand.

"I'll definitely be more careful now that no one's going to bump into my head whenever I brake."

There it is,you should've expected it.

You sigh in defeat as a smile forms on your lips anyway, the usual Jungkook, always up to tease you.

"It happened just one time!"

When you lock eyes with him again, Jungkook winks at you, “See you at the gym.”

You nod waving at him as you watch him lower the visor and leave the parking lot, not wasting the opportunity to rev his engine before he sprints away.

You just rode a motorcycle with Jungkook. The bright smile on your face is one that hasn't been seen in far too long.

You wouldn't dare say it but you definitely feel far more serene in your life, there is only this little seed that's bothering you, but you tell yourself it can die easily if you don't nourish it, just like when you don't water your plants. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Your ex has taken your smile away for too long and you almost feel the unconscious need to immediately put aside any positive and genuine emotion, afraid that it will be brutally taken away from you by an unexpected visit from him. At least like this, it's you who decided to put it willingly away.

That's how much Ray's behavior actually affected you.

As you walk towards the entrance, clutching the bag on your shoulder, you think that at least this once, you want to enjoy this little achievement. You can see from the elevator mirror that the girl in the reflection deserves to enjoy this smile for a little longer.

Within the four walls of your apartment, Ray wont be able to wipe it away and the one that often creeps in your mind is already fading away as you think back at the time spent with Jungkook tonight.

With this thought, you get yourself ready to sleep and as you fall into your bed, letting your soft bed sheets wrap around you, you're still sporting one genuine smile.

You almost feel like a teenager experiencing things for the first time. You feel like this after Ray and his hell, every positive emotion feels so new and strong, to the point that you're able to sleep like a child until the next morning.

December 1st, Friday

It was enough for you to mention Jungkook and Motorcycle in the same sentence to turn Hani into a brakeless question machine.

You're in the middle of a tattoo, while your client and Hani are listening to you intently as you talk about yesterday's evening.

They both chuckle when your storytelling digress into an accurate description of the motorcycle gear on Jungkook's body. Hani is so hyped by the whole thing that it's impossible not to smile at her silliness.

She told you several times in the past few months that the gym was doing wonders to you, but that she knew it had something to do with this guy as well.

You know each other since you were children, she can read you like an open book and even if it may be bothersome sometimes, this skill of hers helped you multiple times in the past.

"And here I thought he was cold as ice!" Hani begins "He always seemed so impassive when we happened to bump into each other at Tae's."

If you stop to think for a moment, he often assumes expressions that don't match at all with the description you gave just now. Last night's Jungkook was an extremely thoughtful and attentive guy, but you know that he often gets lost in his things and thoughts and takes on an almost intimidating appearance when this happens.

You don't know how to explain this duality that characterizes him, sometimes it doesn't take much to make him go back to the Jungkook who laughs and jokes with everyone, other times he is too immersed in something that's able to cast a shadow in his gaze. Maybe that's what Hani has seen and you can't help but wonder if the bright side you're used to, it's actually the rarer or maybe selective one of him.

"Sometimes maybe? But it was kind of him to bring me home, he gave me his gear to make sure I was comfortable."

You admit as you continue to poke your client's skin with a subtle smile on your lips.

"He gave you his gear?" Hani asks in surprise as she is busy taking care of something around the shop. Even your client reacted to that, muffling a sound that resembled one of approval.

You nod, because you know she is staring at you right now. You already know what's about to happen. You focus on the tattoo, avoiding to meet her scanning eyes, she has an overly broad smile right now, even if you can't see it you know it's there.

Since you started telling her about your experiences at the gym, Hani teased you about your visible attraction for him. This last tell tell of last evening with him only increased her beliefs, obviously. Your hopes that she won't ask you the fateful question are promptly destroyed when, knowing your best friend far too well, it was bound to be asked sooner or later.

"You really like him, huh? And now it's obvious that he likes you back!"

You knew it, it was predictable.

You sigh, “I don't want relationships.” You respond resolutely, still avoiding her gaze.

"You avoided the question, typical."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did! You could have said no, but instead you immediately clarified that YoU DoNt WaNt ReLaTiOnShIpS and I didn't even speak about relationships!"

She mocks you amused, you can hear it in her voice as you roll your eyes in annoyance.

You know you have some sort of a crush on Jungkook even if you don't want to admit it openly. He became a good friend and yes, you would definitely have sex with him right now if you could, but one thing you're most certain of is that you won't let this little something of a deeper feeling grow further. So yeah, you don't want relationships, but you do like him.

"He's hot as fuck, alright? That's all, we're friends and that's enough."

You meet her gaze to try to convince her you're not omitting anything important with this statement. Hani knows you too well though, your behavior in the past few months gave her answers anyway. She's willing to let you believe your response was convincing enough as she smirks at you and you focus your attention once again on the skin of your client, who's meanwhile listening with patience.

"A friend you'd gladly fuck though, am I right?"

You think you could strike her dead with just a look right now.

She's right, but she doesn't need to know it.

As you're about to find an excuse to change the subject, you hear the jiggle of the bell at the entrance.

An immense sense of release takes over you, saved by a bell. Hani chuckles as she leaves the room to reach the door. You hear Taehyung's voice behind you and you thank the heavens for the coincidence. As you keep chit chatting with your client, you continue the job on her skin, pushing aside the conversation with your friend.

Shortly after finishing the tattoo, you take care of the area with the usual cream, giving some advice on tattoo treatment and any precautions while you accompany your client to the counter to pay.

When you look at the clock, it's almost time to close, the customer leaves the shop after saying her goodbyes and you join your friends on the sofa of the little lounge area by the entrance, after locking the door and lowering the curtain over it.

“Damn I'm exhausted.” You let out, enjoying the feeling of the soft pillows against your back.

Tae and Hani watch you from where they're seated in front of you and you hear them giggling.

You lift your head in confusion as you look at them with a frown.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, I was thinking that next friday there'll be a pre-race weekend party." Tae begins, he has a particularly cheeky smile that almost irritates you, deep down you imagine why they're giggling and looking at you like this, but you don't dare to investigate.

"And?" you sound a little exasperated but whatever, today was somewhat challenging and you wish you could go home to rest.

“And I think you should come.” Taehyung concludes as he brings his arms behind his head, making himself comfortable against the sofa.

"Why should I?"

"Are you serious Y/N? Don't make me state the obvious."

Tae knows something, clearly.

You feel rage entering your features when you shift your eyes on Hani. You look at her reproachfully, now you will also have to endure Tae's teasing about last night.

"Don't look at me like that, I know what you're thinking! I didn't say a single word about last night!" She raises her hands in surrender, claiming innocence as Tae bursts out laughing at the two of you.

You're confused, but only briefly. Surprise takes over as you hear his following words.

“Jungkook told me about it.”

"So what?" You prop yourself up on your elbows, explaining that there's no harm in accepting a ride home from a friend.

"You never accepted a ride from me though!"

That's a disgusting smile, right on his face.

He caught you red handed and he knows it. You're not sure how to respond to that, it's true but you don't want to explain your reasons.

“It was an emergency!” you opt for a semi-truth, hoping they will drop the topic soon.

"Sure, sure. But don't change the subject."

You roll your eyes, sighing heavily as you let your weight sink on the pillows, wishing they could swallow you whole to make you escape from this conversation.

Hani put a hand on Tae's arm as if she wants to stop him from teasing you more. At least for this time, you're glad she is able to read you like an open book. The exasperation must be visible on your face by now.

"You always told me you didn't want to come to these parties because you felt uncomfortable third wheeling, but now you know Jungkook! He'll be there too, we can have some fun all together!" Hani interjects with a calm and gentle tone, she knows it could do you some good, just like joining the gym helped you regain some confidence in yourself.

"And we can introduce you to Hobi too!" Tae adds, that shit eating grin still plastered on his face when he looks at you.

You sigh once again, tired of this whole situation and from the fatigue of the day.

They invited you several times to previous parties, but knowing only them you've always declined. Since you started dating Ray, you've been going to parties less and less and after everything that's happened, being around people you don't know makes you feel a little anxious, so you stopped attending parties a while ago.

You always preferred evenings spent at your usual bar, just the three of you or just you and Hani when Tae is busy.

It's been your comfort zone ever since you broke up with Ray and you never felt the need to change this.

Once again though, your ex comes back in your mind, momentarily outclassing the progress you've made thus far like a haunting ghost.

You really want to overcome all these blocks that he has caused you and just like going to the gym, going back to attend parties and meeting new people can only help you get out of your current comfort zone and get back to the outgoing Y/N you once were before your ex.

It's another little step to prove yourself you can heal completely, you just need some time and the right spur.

"Ok-ok fine,"

You get up abruptly off the sofa knowing that if you keep brooding you might change your mind and you don't want to give your friends other opportunities to annoy you.

"I'll come."

Hani sings a self made victory fanfara, as she usually does when she gets something she wants.

You can't help but roll your eyes at her silly reactions and you notice that Tae is particularly happy too.

They know the hell you've been living in for the past year, they may be teasing you incessantly, but you know they mean no harm, ever, they just want you to enjoy your life, to be happy again.

When you get home, you think back at Tae's expression when he told you that Jungkook told him he gave you a ride home the night before, you don't want to be delusional but you had the impression that Tae teased Jungkook as well about this, he seemed far too amused about the whole thing.

In any case, you will go to this party and it is another step forward for you, you have every intention of having fun carefree, for too long you have felt like a victim of wills that are not yours, and it is time for you to take control of the situation and do what your own instinct tells you, without external influences.

Afterall, no one ever wants to leave their safe bubble, but no changes will occur if you don't try to get out of it.

Another step out of your comfort zone, another step toward who you used to be.

◀ [Prev. Chapter] | [Next Chapter] ▶

110 notes · View notes

opaljm · 2 years

Note

like a popular writer did for their jk bridgerton fic? its tagged with all members and smut like it wouldnt hit thousands and thousands of notes anyway

They're not the only ones. It keeps happening more and more these days. As I've previously mentioned I've seen this happen with Taehyung fics along with Jungkook fics. But yes they are I suppose a current example of the problem and clogging up most if not all of the seven members' smut tags.

I don't know why it's so hard to to just stick to member specific tags. If you're a popular author with tons of followers surely you don't have to rely on putting your Jungkook fic under Hoseok's tag or Yoongi's tag in order to get notes? Like you already have an established reputation as a good writer, I'm sure that your fic will blow up regardless due to it's quality.

It seems counterintuitive because the people who go to read hyung line fics or Jimin fics definitely aren't going to be like "ooooh a Jungkook fic! Let me just change my mind and read it." It's more likely they'll be mad at how much harder it's making it for them to find the right fics. And if anything I feel like fics would be even more successful using proper tags because a lot of people read fics for multiple members, not only their bias. They would've come across your fic when they were searching for that member or seen a reblog on their feed and found it. It's absolutely unnecessary to use the other member tags which only make people mad since it makes them scroll through endless posts that have nothing to do with the tag like the photo dumps for example. Others of which do not use the "read more" function. I wonder what exactly the proposed solution of people who abuse tags is? Should we mass block you all and never come across your fics? Doesn't that undermine the reason you used the tags in the first place? To increase the visibility and the audience?

Also if you're gonna use something like "seokjin angst" or "namjoon smut" they better have an angst moment or smut moment in the fic. You can't be all "the member appeared in my fic why can't I use that tag." Did Namjoon fuck y/n? Also its really disappointing when you think you found an ot7 fic because an author is tagging all the members but that's not what it is 😭

The only thing it's doing is painting a bad picture of you or your fic to the people who find it on the wrong tags. So many reblogs I have gotten have mentioned they put fics using tags incorrectly on "do not read" lists and same with the authors who own those fics.

#chatty!naia #anon #asks

18 notes · View notes

venomous--fics · 3 years

Text

Anon Requested: Omg wait can i request a fic where reader feels like they aren’t good enough for eddie and venom so reader breaks up with them and eddies sad and just a lot of angst (BUT happy ending) if not thats okay !

A/n: Day 5!! I'm think about just extending the weekathon to the entire month! Not too sure yet, but I should decide quickly huh!! I just think it'd be fun to do something like that. Maybe get more and more festive along the way. What do you think?

Song: Halley's Comet by Billie Eilish

"So, that's just it? You're just gonna up and leave and not tell us why?"

He wanted to sound mad, but his voice gave it all away. You couldn't stand the thought of what you were doing to them both. You couldn't even bring yourself to look at them as you left. You didn't even bother to grab your things. You just left emptyhanded.

Subconsciously, maybe you knew you'd find your way back eventually. But...Not now.

The weight of the world began to crush you with every step you took away from their place. You knew they were watching you from the window. If you had to leave, they'd at least make sure you'd stay safe.

It all felt like a cruel punchline to an unfunny joke. How could you be such a fool to think you'd be good for them? They....They were a protector. A lethal one, but still a protector. They helped people and saved the world from every threat imaginable. You sometimes couldn't even drag yourself out of bed.

It didn't seem fair to drag them down like that. They deserved better. They deserved the world, and you just couldn't give them that. Someday they'd find someone who would.

That night was spent alone on a friend's spare guest bed. The world was so quiet. There were no streetlights beaming into your room. There was no more sounds of late night traffic or the people talking and walking as they passed under your shared window.

There was no more fighting Venom for the comforter because he'd purposely hog it just to get your attention. It always worked. There wasn't the usually jokes about forgetting to set your alarms for the work morning ahead.

You simply set your alarm and laid down. The world seemed so much colder and emptier. It didn't seem fun and bright anymore. The bed felt much more spacious now.. The pillows felt too squishy and new. The sheets looked nothing like his.

Staring at the wall wasn't going to put you to sleep any faster, so you rolled over and clamped your eyes shut. You willed yourself to not cry.

The tv kept repeating the same old stuff. Robbery after robbery. Someone got shot. A car accident. Oh, it's going to rain tomorrow.

We should be fixing that..

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore."

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore either, V."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Normally there'd be some form of a pep talk from you, but now.. Your spot on the couch was empty. All that was there to suggest that you even existed was your favorite throw pillow.

With hesitation, Eddie grabbed the pillow and held it in his lap. It still looked brand new, and that's simply because you always knew how to take care of things. Nothing of yours ever really got broken or misplaced..And you always knew just how to handle things.

"I miss them."

A thought they shared in common. It's felt like months, but it's only been a couple of weeks. Your things were still occupying space here. It was almost torturous having to look at them each day and know that you weren't going to come home.

It was that thought that broke them both. They curled up on the couch, sad and defeated. The world was incomplete because you weren't here to make ti better. A rough day at work? You'd say, "Oh, don't worry." as you made some hot coco to relax with. Emotions getting out of control? You were always there with ways to fix them.

Did they take you for granted? Did they forget to cherish you? Did they do something wrong? Everyone always told them that they were just screwups who ruined everything, so maybe they just fucked it up again.

Maybe they'd learn to live with it. Just not today.

It's just not home anymore. Home is where you were.

The rain was awfully heavy today. But you were thankful. Today was hitting you harder than the last few. You were stumbling down the sidewalk, tears streaming down your face. Nothing seemed to hold any meaning anymore. You'd pass by Mrs. Chen's shop, and normally you'd stop by there to get Eddie and V a snack or two. But now, you simply keep walking.

Today you just let your body walk. To where? Wherever you felt like you needed to go. You were so tired, and so worn down. That only help cement in the fact that you just... You were an absolute nobody. Who could love a nobody?

If only you were born gifted with the brains, the talents or even the powers. Maybe you'd be worth something. Maybe you'd see yourself as more. Maybe if you felt like you held any importance to anyone, you'd find a reason to stick around anywhere, with anyone.

Despite wanted to be more to literally anyone, all you could think is being better for them. They meant so much, no, no, they mean so much to you. It felt so dumb and childish to be so hung up on two of the goofiest creatures on this planet. You couldn't lie to anyone. You were hopelessly in love with Eddie Brock, a man who truly was a breed of his own. And you were in love with Venom, an alien with a heart bigger than his stomach but he's too embarrassed to say it.

You don't want to love them anymore. Because you still believe it was better to not be with them.

You slumped against a light post and wiped your eyes. You tried everything to stop the tears from flowing, but that only made them multiply. You'd scold yourself if you had the energy.

The world really did begin to feel more and more empty. People seemed to walk pass and not even give you a second glance. None of them cared, and to be honest, neither did you. Normally you never noticed other people, because you'd be so wrapped up in whatever it was you and Eddie, and yes, Venom too, were doing.

But they aren't here anymore. You were back to where you started. Alone and afraid of what the world had in store. You used to wake up knowing what you'd be doing...But now you weren't sure.

You remained leaned against the streetlight for an eternity. The sun had set and the moon had risen, yet you remained put. Everything was cold now. The rain had subsided, but the light continued to drip down on you, but even then, you didn't have the willpower to move.

It's better to be cold than to have never been warm, right? That is how the saying goes...Right?

You sniffled, waiting for the next set of drops to hit your head, but they never did. You slowly looked up and saw someone's hands holding up a jacket. They looked like they were doing their best to hold it up like an umbrella, and without touching you. You recognized the jacket immediately, even just from seeing the inside of it. You'd worn it so many times.

You stood up straight and turned around, being greeted with the sight of Eddie. He looked just as tired as you, and just as lost. He looked like he had a million things to say, but it seems like the cat had his tongue.

The universe was giving you a chance. For some reason.

"I'm sorry." was the first thing to spill out of your mouth.

"We're sorry, too."

"You didn- It was me. I was.." You took a step back from under the jacket, but it seems like Venom wasn't having any of that. He moved Eddie's body for him, this time, draping the jacket on your shoulders.

You gently crossed your arms and held them close, appreciating the gesture now.

"You can leave now. If you want." Eddie moved back a little, "We just saw that you were cold.."

"I don't want to go." you gripped onto the jacket, trying to fight the new wave of tears threatening to come out, "I just.. I had to because I felt like I wasn't good enough."

You were about to ramble on when Eddie cut you off, "That's why you left?"

"I'm sorry." You felt like you could just curl up and die on the sidewalk.

You looked down, staring at the cracks that littered the walkway. You'd find someway to make this poetic.

Two hands, one human and the other very much not, wrapped themselves around you as they pulled you into a warm embrace.

"Did we make you feel that way?"

The way Eddie's voice cracked made your arms go limp at your sides.

"No. I made myself feel that way- But I can't help it. You guys do so much good and I-"

"We love you."

The hug got tighter, "We used to do what we did because it was the right thing to do. But then we met you and it all changed. It seems so cliche to say that, but...It's true."

"You're just saying that."

"We adore you. We promised to do everything we can to make sure we leave this world a better place for you."

Your hands shook as your fought with yourself. You wanted to hold them just as close as they were holding you, but you felt-

"I don't deserve this.."

Unworthy.

In typical Brock fashion, and never knowing how to truly deal with his emotions, Eddie clung to you, almost pleading, "Would you just listen to what we're saying."

"You can't love me."

"Why the hell not? Huh? Whose going to stop us?"

"Nobody's going to stop us."

"Why is it me. Out of all the worthy people, why me?"

"You're such a good person. I know you don't see that..But you're the kindest person I've ever met."

"Certainly the nicest I've met..."

Every last word you wanted to yell out into the night sky just vanished from your mind. You wrapped your arms around Eddie and squeezed as hard as you could.

"How many times do we have to say it to make you believe it?"

"I'll say it a billion times," Eddie said, "Most guys would quit at a million but me? I don't know when to quit."

"It's true. He doesn't. But if saying it a billion times gets you to come home, then I'd do it a million more than him."

"I," You started, taking in a deep shaky breath, "I wanna go home regardless."

"We can talk more there if you're comfortable."

"With coco."

"I would like that."

The walk home was a talkative one.

Eddie's hand held yours tightly, but not too tight. He was so afraid that if he didn't hold it firmly enough, you'd simply slip away again. He was sure as hell not letting that happen again.

The apartment looked the exact same as when you left. You were so surprised by that. Normally they'd be a mess if you were gone for too long, and the apartment would reflect that.

"It all looks the same."

"Oh. Yeah." Eddie busied himself with fetching the hot chocolate ingredients.

"We couldn't bring ourselves to ruin your hard work...Or move your things." For the first time, Venom seemed sad.

They both seemed tired. You wanted to feel bad, knowing that they felt that way because of you. But knowing that they loved you meant that they felt bad, not because of you, but because you were gone.

Without thinking, your hand reached out and grabbed Eddie's arm, startling him a little.

"Can we go lay down for a little bit.." you asked quietly, "I think we all need a little rest."

Relief washed over him as he set down the cups and lead the way to the bedroom. There was no more words as you three crashed onto the mattress. Venom used a small tendril to turn the lamp off and pull you closer to Eddie.

"Are you okay with loving a nobody like me?" you asked as you watched him shut his eyes.

"Are you okay with loving two nobodies?"

"We are all losers."

Venom pulled a blanket over you and Eddie, going so far as to fluff the pillows under your heads.

"And that's okay. I love us the way we all are."

You yawned for the first time in ages as your eyes closed, "I love us too."

There was that familiar light coming through the window. And there was the sounds of the cars and the people. The world felt just right and you were home. You moved closer to Eddie and placed a quick, soft kiss on his lips, and his arms were quick to wrap around you.

You felt a soft tendril wrap around your arm.

"I know what you're feeling and what you're thinking." His voice sounded surprisingly quiet, "But you are more than enough for us. We don't say it, but sometimes we feel the same way. You could certainly do better than us. But.."

The tendril tighten a little, but not enough to really do much.

"You left and we realized...We don't know what to do without you. We didn't feel like doing anything anymore. It felt pointless."

You turned your head to look at your arm, seeing two small white eyes staring at you with a mixture of sadness and adoration.

"I know I'm not good with these human emotions..I might never be good with them, but..I know that I love you. And Eddie loves you too. We always try our best to show you..But you are truly all we need to be happy in this life."

You were a bit shocked with how much Venom had to say. Most of the time, he tried to use the least amount of words possible to get his point across, so you knew that he meant it.

"You both complete me, and for once, I finally have the courage to say it, because I don't know when I'll get the chance to say it again."

You smiled softly at him, and moved your arm in a way where you could place a soft kiss onto the top of his tiny little worm head.

"I won't leave again. I promise we can talk about it first."

"Talking is good."

"I love you, V."

"I love you too." He seemed to pause as he shot a glance up to Eddie, just to make sure he was still asleep, "More than that guy."

"Not possible." Eddie groaned, adjusting a little.

You smiled a little as you curled up under the blanket and actually shut your eyes for good for the night. Finally, a good night's rest. You still had doubts, maybe not many and none as big and frightening as before, but that was normal.

Not everything in life is a given or a certainty. You're not promised to tomorrow and it's not a give that you'll be a millionaire. But where you are now is where you're supposed to be. Don't doubt it. The two halves of your heart will quite literally walk to the ends of the universe just to see you smile, and that's more than enough for you.

#venom imagine #eddie brock imagine #eddie brock x reader #venom x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

536 notes · View notes

vanderlustwords · 3 years

Note

What if Steve leaves and she finds out she’s pregnant? I really love your alternate ending where he leaves for Peggy and wondering if you could write more about it. Doesn’t have to be him leaving a child behind that was just a question that popped into my head

Pairing: (past) Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Please do not repost/translate anywhere. Reblogs/Comments are much welcomed ♥

Continuation of: This Dress is Karma || Alternate Ending

Warnings: unbeta'd. Angst ending for Steeb.

Note: I don't know how you roped me into writing a 2.3k continuation but here I am LOL

Count: ~2.3k

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You shut the door with a soft click, waiting until you hear the quiet footsteps fade away. The lump in your throat gets harder to swallow as you turn around, leaning back against the door and let out a shaky sigh.

You can't help but think those were some brave words you said to Steve. You desperately wanted them to be true. You did want to be so happy that it would physically pain Steve if he were to ever witness it.

You wanted it to be true that you were never going to see him again because he had hurt you so much, and he needed to stay away from you.

But when you lift your trembling hand to your stomach, you wonder if everything you said had been nothing more than a brave front.

"You alright?"

You immediately look up and see Bucky stepping out of the guest room, fully dressed with towel-dried hair.

You swallow and force a smile as you drop your hand.

"Yeah, you ready to head out?" You ask him as you stand up straight.

Bucky nods with a grumble before he grabs a strand of his hair. "I need a haircut first, though. Do you think we could find a barber first?"

"Sure," you say, turning around and opening the door with Bucky following you behind.

"You sure everything is okay?" Bucky asks you again.

The way your throat feels raw, the hysterical words that want to escape your mouth make you feel dizzy. You want to put your hand against your stomach again as if to see if you could suddenly feel a bump.

But you refrain because Bucky would get suspicious. Well, he'd probably think you had a stomachache first, but if you didn't stop acting strange, he would pry.

"Everything's fine," you mumble.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

As the weeks pass, more and more things begin to slip from you.

There is a layer of never-ending panic that sits right beneath your skin, crawling and setting your nerves on fire.

When you began to get morning sickness and threw up into the toilet, you began to shake.

The reality of your situation began to hit you.

You were pregnant.

With Steve's child.

Steve, who had abandoned you and was grey and old and probably would pass away soon.

The notion of it all had you throwing up in the toilet again.

You were alone, and you were scared.

What were you going to do? You couldn't rely on Steve anymore.

You looked down at your relatively flat stomach still, placing your hand against it.

There was a life growing inside you. What were you going to do?

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It was harder to hide when Bucky came over almost every other day, even though he didn't live with you. He had stayed for a week after the confrontation with Steve but quickly found his own place.

Initially, that had made you feel more alone, like everyone couldn't wait to escape from you. But it had worked out when you needed alone time.

Bucky was currently in your kitchen, cooking up steaks for lunch for the two of you.

The smell of it made you deathly pale.

"What's going on with you?" Bucky asked with a frown as he set the steaks aside to rest.

You had to swallow hard before you could answer. "Nothing," you said weakly. "I'm—I'm sorry. I know you came all the way here to cook but I'm not really hungry."

"You've been saying that for days now, doll," Bucky pursed his lip. "I feel like I haven't seen you eat a proper meal lately. What's going on? I know things have been...hard. Especially since you last saw Steve, but this isn't okay. I need you to eat something in front of me that isn't pretzels, bananas, or bread."

The idea of sliding a piece of steak basted in butter had your stomach knot itself painfully.

You shook your head, but when Bucky insisted, slicing the steak and you watched the juices run, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

You took off to the bathroom in haste.

"Hey—" Bucky called out and took off after you, but you were quick to shut the door before you fell to your knees over the toilet and hurled.

"What's wrong?" Bucky yelled through the door, trying to jiggle it open but found you had locked it. "Open the door, doll. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," you said shakily as you grabbed some toilet paper and wiped your mouth, eyes hot with tears. "I just—I just haven't been feeling well."

The silence on the other side of the door only lingered for a moment before Bucky used his metal arm to turn the doorknob so hard, it broke open.

He found you sitting on the floor, over the toilets, eyes rimmed red and your face pale.

Bucky carefully walks in and kneels slowly before you.

He thinks back the couple of weeks and how you've been going to the bathroom a lot more, and how you don't like going to restaurants to eat. You've been eating at home and the strangest things and wearing more flowy shirts.

He looks at your face, and the way you're trying to hold back your tears makes Bucky feel dread.

"Doll..." he calls you softly. "Are you—Are you pregnant?"

You let out a choked sob in response, face dropping as you close your eyes.

Bucky's quick to hold you in his arms as he strokes your back, his heart dropping.

There was only one person who could've gotten you pregnant.

There had been some dumb shit Steve's done the entire time Bucky's known him. Always getting into scraps he couldn't finish, always prideful when Bucky wanted to help him.

But it had been the first time Bucky's ever been so fucking pissed at Steve. It was the first time Bucky couldn't defend or make an excuse for his friend.

"Bucky, what am I going to do?" You trembled in his arms. "I can't—Steve isn't—I want to keep it but I'm alone."

Bucky swallowed so hard it was painful.

There was no fucking way he was ready to be a dad or step up in any kind of way—that is, if you even let him.

Fuck, you two didn't even have feelings for each other or anything. There was something, maybe, Bucky thought for the future. But now?

"You're not alone," Bucky reassured, keeping his voice still for your sake. "I'm here. I'm here all the way and I'm not gonna leave you, doll. Ever."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You manage to keep the fact that you're pregnant under the wraps easily. It helps that since saving the world, no one really meets up anymore. A part of you worries because you can't find Wanda anywhere, but you know she can find you if she wanted to.

Sam might be the only other person who knows, and Bucky was begrudging when accepting his help.

Months pass, and you're surprised how dedicated Bucky is. You're pretty sure you're on the verge of a mental breakdown constantly. A part of you worries Steve will show up, but Bucky reassures you that there's nothing Steve could do even if he did show up.

"Fuck..." you swore as Bucky was in the middle of figuring out how to build the crib the two of you got from Ikea. He looks up at you alarmingly. "I think my water just broke."

"Oh, shit, okay, okay!" Bucky jumps up right away and starts running around to grab the prepared bag as he helps you out into the car. "Don't panic!"

"Bucky, I'm literally about to push a baby out of my body. I'm going to fucking panic if I want to," you snap, and Bucky bites his lip to refrain from speaking as he zips through traffic.

"Oh, god," you say under your breath. You were having a baby. You were actually going to have a baby.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

"Bucky, you can't just carry her everywhere," you grumbled as you pushed the stroller through the park. "You're spoiling her."

"Yes, I can. She wants me to carry her and whatever my princess wants, she gets." Bucky declared indignantly at you while sticking his tongue out.

You sighed with a smile.

You couldn't believe a year has passed. Despite the time passing, you never really felt fully prepared as a mother. You were scared you were fucking it up all the time if you're honest.

Bucky holds your hand, and you give him a shy smile. That was new too. Slow and steady, as Bucky has always been, and you think you were falling for him because of that.

When you look up, your heart stops.

"Oh," Steve blinked.

Another year has passed, but you find Steve doesn't look too different. A little more tired perhaps, but still...Steve.

You feel panic creep up in your chest that threatens to become a panic attack before Bucky squeezes your hand.

"Breathe, doll," he whispers encouragingly to you, but it's loud enough for Steve to catch.

You do as he says, taking a few calming breaths. You want to keep walking, but it seems Steve can't stop staring at the child in Bucky's arms.

"Why don't you take Hazel to the pond? She really likes looking at the ducks," you tell Bucky, and he nods, warily looking at you and Steve. He sends Steve a curt nod before he takes the stroller with him and walks off.

Steve's eyes trail after Bucky.

You know then that he knows. It's not hard after all. Hazel looks like a spitting image of Steve, something that had been hard for you to deal with at first. Her blonde hair and blue eyes—the blue eyes were easier since Bucky's eyes were blue too, even if a darker shade.

But Hazel was so lovely; you loved her so easily.

"When did you know?" Steve asked.

You shrugged. "The day before we all saved the world."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Steve's voice was pained and betrayed, and you cocked your brow at him.

"Why? So you would stay?"

"Yes, I would have!" Steve insisted.

The sheer stupidity of the situation had you give a humourless laugh.

"The last thing I want is for you to stay because of a baby, Steve. You wanted to leave, despite everything, you chose to leave. We would only hate each other in the long run."

"That's not true," Steve denied. "When I made that choice, it wasn't because I didn't love you anymore."

"No, you just didn't love me enough."

The words rang clear, almost throwing Steve off-kilter.

The silence fell, and the two of you could hear Hazel laughing with Bucky in the distance as she shrieked.

"Don't you think I deserved to know about her?" Steve asked with his lips pursed.

"No," you answered honestly. "What do you, a 90 something-year-old man, have to offer her? You certainly can't step up and be her father. Your time keeps running out and the last thing I need is for Hazel to have instability. Did you want to be her grandfather? She's already met mine, so do you want to pretend to be Bucky's?"

"So, you're just gonna lie to her and let her think Bucky is her dad?"

Your eyes flash angrily.

"Bucky is her dad. He's the only dad that counts in every way. Do you know how hard it was for me? I was scared shitless, Steve. You can delude yourself into thinking otherwise, but you're unreliable. I couldn't come to you for help," you snap at him. "Do you know who was there every time I was puking my guts out, crying or screaming, or wanted pickles with peanut butter at 2AM? Who do you think was there for every appointment. Who bought fifty parenting and baby books to study religiously? It was Bucky. Even though I knew he was scared too, he was there. So, don't fucking try to make me and Bucky look like the bad guy. You have NOTHING to offer to Hazel."

Steve stood there wide-eyed, guilt crowding over his eyes. Steve doesn't want to say he regrets going back because that would mean a lifetime of regrets he can't get back.

"You're right," Steve said slowly, trying to appease your anger. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. It's not my place to say anything."

Even though Steve says it, he looks over to the little girl squealing in Bucky's arms. He looks at her blonde hair that she clearly got from him and your nose.

He and Peggy had children—children he loved more than anything.

But...the idea of his child with you...that was another reality he missed.

It seems to be that way always for him, Steve thought somberly. He was always missing something. Maybe you had been right about him.

Steve listens as you take a deep breath in and exhale.

"Do you want to meet her?" You offer, and Steve can tell it's difficult for you to say those words.

"If you're okay with it," Steve said slowly.

You nod stiffly. "It's fine as long as you respect my wishes and refrain from telling her you're her bio dad. I want to save that conversation for when she's older and able to understand it more."

You don't say it, but Steve is already thinking how he'll most likely be gone by then.

The two of you begin to walk towards Bucky and Hazel.

"What will you tell her?" Steve asked.

"The truth," you shrug. "That you were the world's greatest hero and you loved her and would've loved to get to know her if you stayed, but you didn't and it wasn't her fault."

"Right, it was mine," Steve felt a sting in the back of his throat.

"I don't think it was anyone's fault," you tell him. "It's just karma, Steve. I wasn't enough for you and now you're not enough for Hazel."

Right, Steve thought somberly as he looked at you in your summer dress. It was different from the sexy red one that used to drive him insane.

It was a calm peace, a show of your motherhood and graceful maturity.

This dress is karma, too.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #steve x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x you #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #v.myfic

973 notes · View notes

writingintheshadowsforever · 3 years

Text

Wanda/Yelena x Reader Happier

Summary: You use to have it all with Wanda but then that all came crashing down with one huge lie. For a while you were broken but then Yelena Belova just showed up in your life and made you happier than you ever been. But Wanda still hasn't move on part of her hopes that you haven't either. She can't help but think one day Yelena will mess up to just like she did.

Warning: Angst, some fluff

Wanda heard a familiar scream as she walked past the training room. There was no mistake it was yours and she was racing back. She reached the doors ready to burst in one of her hands already glowing with red energy. But then your screams turned into squeals as you shoved at Yelena's shoulder trying to get her to let go. Her arms were wrapped around your waist pulling your body up against hers. Usually you wouldn't mind but her hands were a bit busy targeting your sensitive sides and ribs. There was a huge grin on her face as she watched you laugh so much till tears welled up in your eyes.

Wanda paused with one hand on the door the other one still glowing with power. After a couple of minutes she dropped it, so she could grip the door with both hands. Her grip so tight that her knuckles were starting to turn white. She watched as you laid on the blonde's shoulder your laughter going silent. Yelena chuckled finally stopping the tickle torture and her fingers massaged your sides. You lifted your head up to gaze into her eyes. Both of your arms wrapping around her neck.

Wanda decided it was time for her to go because she knew what was coming next, and didn't want to stick around for that part. Her Heart still yearned for you even though it'd almost a six months. Since the two of you broke up at first she was able to convince herself that it didn't hurt that much. But that was before Yelena showed up and showed interest in you. Before the new Black Widow managed to find her way into your broken heart and shattered thoughts. Wanda knew she still had a chance to win you back.

Even though she was the sole reason your heart was broken, and a your mind was filled with the thoughts of. Not being good enough because before she ripped your heart out. You and Wanda had what you had with Yelena right now. Nothing killed her more inside than knowing she caused destroyed her relationship with you.

You were the one who pulled Wanda out of that black pit of despair. She was drowning in after Thanos was finally defeated. You were the one who came running when Monica reached out to what was left of the Avengers, and told them about Wanda's massive breakdown. When you found her curled up in her bedroom in her home. You didn't reprimand her about taking over an entire town, or forcing a whole population to live in her dream world.

You just pulled her into your arms and she clung to you harder than she'd ever clung to anyone. Because in that moment you were her lifeline holding her and reassuring her that it was okay. That you understood why she did it, and most importantly you told her that she wasn't a monster.

Wanda paused in the hallway her back hitting the wall. As she remembered how you tucked her hair behind her ear, and took her face in both of your hands.

"Wanda Maximoff I've seen a lot of monsters in my short time in this world, and I promise you are the farthest thing from it. Your actions wasn't because you had the power to do it and wanted to. Your actions stemmed from grief. A grief so strong most people never experience it. That doesn't make you a monster it makes you human."

With those words said you leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. Just like that you became her rock for moving on from what happened, and letting go of a life she couldn't have. Eventually the two of you fell for each other and started dating. Things were great in the beginning Wanda was starting to learn how to control her new powers. You were right beside her training just as hard, or just cheering her on. Late nights were spent tangled in the sheets with each other no clothing between your bodies. Morning showers were even better, and she would give you mini cooking lessons afterwards.

Both of you were in Heaven and y'all stayed there for a very long time till. One question brought it all crashing down. And it hurt you to even ask it but you needed to know. If you were still going to continue on this path with her.

"Do you think that you will try to bring them back?" You asked your tone nervous and cautious.

Wanda was using your stomach as a pillow as the two of waited for the sunset. Everything about this moment was perfect. Why did you have to ask such risky questions? But she knew why you were asking because she increased her training sessions with Dr.Strange, and they were starting to go into multiverse territory.

It was only fair that you wanted to make sure that she wasn't just using you, and was going to toss you a side. The minute she brought Vision and her kids back. But this moment was to perfect to ruin, so Wanda told you what you wanted to hear.

"No I don't think I will. I mean they will always hold a special place in my heart." She paused to roll over onto her stomach, and scoot up so her face was close to yours. "But you are my future Y/N, and I don't want to go back. Just forward with you my love." Now her body was on top of yours her arms holding her head above your face. But then your arms wounded around her neck yanking her down into a fiery kiss.

That kiss she holds onto more than any other memory of you. Because that was her last kiss with you, before everything came crashing down. A couple of weeks later you were cleaning the room when her training journal fell off the dresser. Wand thought it would be a good idea to track her improvement with her powers. You weren't trying to snoop but then again she always let you read it. But when you turned over and saw her latest entry. Your heart dropped into your stomach, and you dropped to your knees.

You tried so hard to keep the tears at bay until the flood was impossible to hold back anymore. Sobs were racking throughout your entire body so loud it brought Wanda running. "My love what's wrong?" She looked like she wanted to say more, but then her eyes landed on the journal. Wanda turned pale holding up her hands surrendering. "Sweetheart just listen please."

"No I listened before and you lied to me Wanda."

"Because I wasn't sure on how to answer I was still hurting Y/N"

"Why didn't you just say that I would've understood."

Wanda was silent looking away guilt all over her face. You walked over to her and placed a hand on her cheek caressing her. Until she finally lifted her head too look you in the eyes. "You had every intention on bringing them back didn't you?" Your voice was just a whisper but she heard you.

Wanda gave you a tiny nod.

"You never stopped thinking about them, or wanting it all back, and you know you have the power to do it. Why hurt right?"

"Y/N it's not like that I just wanted the kids back okay. Vision I moved on from him okay it's you."

But you shook her head turning the journal so she could see her own words. Wanda refused too look taking your face in her hands.

"It's you my love I promise it's you" she insisted tears spilling from her eyes.

It took everything in you but you stepped back out of her grasp. "You wrote about Vision to Wan how much you want him back. How much you need him back. Your life wouldn't be complete without him."

"You didn't have to lie if I was just a distraction you could've just said that. I wouldn't have left you because I care about you too much to do that, and I cared before our relationship started."

"Then where were you when I broke down?" Wanda shot back. The pain in her voice evident.

"I tried to be there you told that you needed some space. I gave you my number all you had to do was call Wanda‐" You cut off refusing to say anything else . You weren't going to do this with her there was no point in going down this road. It wouldn't change anything.

You walked over to her placing the journal into her hands. "It's okay I promise I'm a little hurt but I get it. How could what we have compare right?"

Wanda open her mouth to protest but a finger on her lips stopped her.

"Don't try to stop this because you know that's not what you want. You just don't want to hurt me, and the truth is. It's too late for that but we should let each other go before it gets worse. I understand my love I promise you I do."

You leaned forward pressing a kiss to her forehead. This would be the last time your lips touched her and she knew it. Wanda held the journal to her chest crying as you walked away wiping your own tears away.

Indeed Wanda did want her family back including Vision, but when the time finally came to bring them back. She just couldn't do it thoughts of you filled her head. No matter how hard she tried to make them go away. They stayed your smile, your laugh, the way you held her when she was scared or hurting. The way you protected when General Ross showed up looking for her. He just found a good reason to lock her back up. But you made it very clear that wasn't happening. The way you kissed her grabbing her by the waist to pull her close as possible.

Just as Wanda was so sure she could feel you here with her right now. A familiar voice called out to her.

"Wanda are you okay?" You asked standing a few feet away. You saw the red energy emanating on the wall outside the training room. You knew it was her and decided to check up on her.

Her eyes flew open at the sound of your voice, and she pushed back from the wall. "Um hey Y/N yeah I'm good just thinking."

"About what you looked pretty gone there."

Wanda just turned away deciding there was no point in telling you. Because it wouldn't change anything. Yelena had your heart now and she felt as if she didn't deserve you anyway. But then a gentle hand on her arm stopped her, and she was being turned around. You slowly pulled Wanda into a hug and at first she just remained there stiff. But it only took a few seconds for her to give in. Burying her face in your shoulder clutching your shirt. It didn't matter that you were a little sweaty from training.

"I'm sorry your plan didn't work Stephen told me it couldn't be done. Not without disrupting the whole universe I'm sorry Wan you deserve happiness."

Wanda pulled away to look at you, and you gazed right back at her. This whole moment felt so normal somewhere deep inside. Maybe you still loved her and was hoping she would say something. But just as she opened her mouth to say it.

Yelena appeared out of nowhere beside you. "Hey I'm heading to wash up then we can go out."

You turned to her your eyes lighting up as you put your mouth to her ear. Whatever you whispered to her made the blonde's face turn crimson. Yelena nodded then turned to Wanda.

"Hey Wanda how are you?"

Her eyes looked back and forth between the two of you. She didn't need to look into your heads to know what you were thinking. You were happy with Yelena maybe a little happier than you were with her. Because the blonde didn't come with any past lover baggage. There was no competition Yelena loved you completely. She couldn't ruin that by getting between the two of you. Wanda couldn't be the reason for anymore of your pain.

"I'm fine you two can go."

Yelena shifted not really believing her and neither did you. But she held up her hands "seriously you two go I'm fine I promise."

You nodded and took Yelena's hand but you reached back out for her's as you walked away. Wanda let you take her hand in yours. Your thumb rubbing circles on her palm. Your grip only loosened when you got too far to hold on. Your message was clear "I'm here if you need me."

It was sealed as you looked back at her one more time giving Wanda a reassuring smile. She smiled back waving at you to go, and watched as you disappeared with Yelena.

The truth was while she still missed her family, and wanted them back. She was happier with you in those few months. The two of you were together than she'd ever been in the world she created. That's why it was so hard for her to bring them back. Stephen told her that she couldn't rely on that grief to get them back, or her powers would go out of control again. Whatever was holding her back was what she needed to let go.

But Wanda couldn't let you go no matter how she tried. Because maybe one day Yelena would mess up like all lovers do, and it would be too much. Then she could pursue you again tell you the real truth. But right now she was just satisfied to see you happy even if you were happier without her. Wanda could wait as long as it took to be that happy with you.

With the thought of your lips on hers filling her head. Wanda turned around and walked away just as you walked out of your room.

Taglist: @wandanatvoid @yelenabelovasgf @ironscarletwidowsoilder

#wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #yelena x reader #yelena belova x reader #yelena imagine #yelena belova #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel imagine #avengers

236 notes · View notes

connieshusband · 3 years

Text

Fucking hate you, love to fuck you

Hate sex

Oikawa x fem!reader

"fuck you!" "Is that a promise?"

reader was the captain and ace of the girls team, reader goes to Aoba Josai, reader is also Kag's cousin

Degradation, Slight Feminization Kink, Praise Kink, Fluffy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at writing smut, I also got tired while writing so its short... sorry, Sir Kink: but very minor, no beta we die like men

-cross posted on my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31932412

MINORS DNI

Summary:

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

___

Degration as well as any kink should have the full consent of all parties involved every time!!

I'm not very good at e2l so be gentle 🤩

I'm such a simp lmao

Oikawa could never figure out why you hated him when you both entered your first year of high school. Having come from a different middle school than you, he figured you'd be like the rest of the people in your grade level and fall all over him.

He wanted to ask why you had such a large stick up your ass during your first group project but chickened out. He assumed you'd at least get along as you were captain of the girls volleyball team and known for your powerful spikes. The setter in him really wanted to find out your perfect toss.

But it wasn't until your 3rd year when he came to despise you too.

He'd overheard you telling your best friend that your cousin made it onto his high schools volleyball team. Being the nosey Nelly that he is, he made the mistake of asking which school your cousin attended.

"Karasuno," you said, your chest puffed out.

It clicked: the black hair, intense expression, the last name even. He could practically see his protégé in the reflection of your eyes. He mentally slapped himself for not seeing it sooner.

His eyes narrowed, matching yours as tension of your silent beat down had to be cut by Iwazumi.

_____

You set down your suitcase, giving your aunt a big hug as she greeted you in the doorway. You give Tobio a fist bump as he helps you carry your things into the spare bedroom.

Your aunt had graciously allowed you to stay with her so you could be closer to school for your final year.

"I can't believe you're dropping volleyball club just as I'm about to join," Tobio whined, setting a suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room.

"I know," you said sullenly. You hadn't wanted to, but being captain and a 3rd year just wasn't going to be practical. Not being the best student, you thought it would be a wise decision.

Having always been close your your cousin on your dad's side came with its perks, including but not limited to drama. Ever since Tobio had joined volleyball in middle school he'd talked about Oikawa, usually brushing off some of the down right nasty things he'd said. But you hadn't. You took it upon yourself to help him train harder and harder to be able to defeat his bully when he'd found out he couldn't attend Aoba Josai with you.

Being an ace had its advantages when teaching Tobio about different techniques on how to set up a spiker best. Often gossiping about the smug bastard as you worked.

Of course, there was no escaping the pretty boy at school either. When your best friend, Ryu, had started dating his best friend Iwaizumi, being the 3rd and 4th wheel at hangouts became increasingly awkward.

And even worse when she mentioned your current math grade. Damn that ginger setter. And Mr. Perfect boasting about his grades to you. Which had lead you to your current situation.

Sitting in his bedroom.

Listening to him drawl on and on with rapidly decreasing interest.

While he looked hot as fuck.

What?!

With new found annoyance you scoffed at him snapping his fingers in your face.

"earth to y/n, I know I'm ravishing, but now it's math time." He said, a smirk decorating his lips.

“I ignored you on purpose, dumbass. Don't you get that I hate you?"

"I'm not asking you to stay, besides this has nothing to do with me?? Its calculus..."

"narcissist," you mumbled under your breath.

"must be your type," he shot back, "gawking at me for the last hour."

"aren't you dating whats-her-face from English?" You retorted, feeling your face heat up.

"yeah??" he said, confused.

You mocked his confusion, ""yeah" God, then stop flirting with me."

He scoffed, an eyebrow disappearing into bangs, "you must be a narcissist if you think I'm flirting with you because wow, it almost like I can't stand the sight of you, y/n," he rolled his eyes in disgust, sitting up in his chair indignantly.

You push him back into his chair, turning on your heels, saying nothing more.

"good!! I was going to kick you out anyway!"

____

You notice his current girlfriend wasn't hanging out with him at lunch nor sitting in his lap during English. In fact. He hadn't found new arm candy by the time your next session rolled around the following week.

___

After begrudgingly agreeing to do another tutoring session and making him promise no funny business, that rule was broken when he had his sleeves rolled up of his blue silk shirt, he glasses laying forgotten on the table, fingers rubbing his tired eyes as he tried to explain a difficult problem to you.

How could Tooru Oikawa be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dick at the same time?

Asking myself this a lot while writing

"fuck you, Oikawa! I don't need your bullshit!"

"fine! Fucking go then!" Giving you a light shove towards the door.

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

You shoved him against his bed, your own smugness drinking up his moan.

You pulled your tank top off as you climbed on top of him. "You have condoms?" You asked, cringing at your breathless voice.

He flipped your position, hot breath fanning your ear, "don't you want to be filled with my cum, baby?"

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the position again, "the last thing the world needs is more of you running around."

He considered it before saying with a shrug "top drawer."

Leaning over, your legs still gripping his hips, you pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it at his face. His nose scrunching cutely.

"pull some weight, lazykawa," you said, yanking his pants and underwear to his ankles. He was already fully hard and you took great satisfaction in wordlessly teasing him.

Trying to ignore you, a blush creeping up around his ears as he hurriedly rolling the condom onto his thick length, as you remove your bra. He flips your position once more, hovering over you, a taunting smirk plastered over his lips.

"can't go 10 minutes without getting your greedy pussy fucked?"

"Can't that mouth do anything besides half-assed insults, Shittykawa?" You mocked, he raised a cheeky eye brow at you.

He lowered his face to you heat, "want to find out?" You grip his hair harshly and shove his face between your thighs.

He rips off you panties and eagerly laps around your cunt before catching himself, slowing his ministrations.

He gripped your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. Alternating between sucking in your clit and finger fucking you, never letting you get both at the same time.

You bit your tongue, doing your best to avoid begging for more - a futile endeavor.

"C'mon babygirl, I know you want it," he sing-songed

You swallowed your pride, "please Tooru."

"sorry couldn't hear you, your legs were busy clamping around my ears.

Your legs shook in frustration and pleasure as he lazily drummed his finger on your sweet spot.

He leaned overtop of you, sucking harshly in your neck as his other hand massages your ass.

"please, Tooru! Please sir!"

"oo~" he remarks, returning between your legs, 3 fingers entering you suddenly as he nibbled along your thigh, quickly returning to sucking on your clit.

You come hard and without warning.

"delicious," he remarks, sitting up and licking his fingers clean, "and so many lewd noises too."

"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in people," you attempt to sound threatening but only succeeding in boosting his ego.

"Oh no~ I hate to find out what the best would be..." He unbuttons his blue silk shirt, allowing you to drink up the full show of his abs. "Not talking so big now, eh, Kageyama?"

You scowl at him before grunting a "just fuck me already".

"don't mind if I do."

You connected your lips with his, enjoying the noises he made as his neglected cock became engulfed in your warmth.

Neither of you lasted long.

He emptied himself into the rubber with a sexy grunt lining up with your moan.

After care he collapsed on top of you, his deep breaths matching yours.

Your hands still resting on his back, feeling scratches from your nails decorating his skin.

He had pressed his forehead to yours, you looked up to meet his eyes which were flitting between the purple marks on your neck and your eyes.

He hadn't held your gaze for more than a second when the realization of what just happened hit both of you at once. Pushing your bodies apart, you shamefully picked up your clothes from the floor leaving the room quickly.

____

It had been weeks since that day. You hadn't gone back for another tutoring session, claiming to Ryu that your grades had improved.

The free time had allowed you to be a better supporter for your cousin, getting a chance to meet his teammates and his friends.

You meet Karasuno's Ryu and think to yourself how well he and your Ryu would get along

While hanging out with your cousin at the spring tournament, you were enjoying a lunch break with a vibrant ginger, his best friend Hinata and a mutual friend with spiky hair. Bokuto, you had learned, was in your year and had a ton in common with you.

Maybe you'd gotten carried away returning his flirty looks and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. He remarked often how different your personality was from your cousin. After exchanging numbers to practice volleyball sometime (him being excited to practice with another captain/ace) an unfortunately familiar voice pulled you away from your fun.

"y/n?"

"what?" You roll your eyes, at Oikawa. You knew he had been watch you and the rest of Karasuno after they had win their first game. Beside you, you can feel the 3 boys, especially Tobio fuming.

"I have a question about the math assignment."

"I'm busy."

"too bad."

Recognizing that he wasn't going to go away until you give in, you stand up, brushing the dust from your bottoms. He leads the way out of sight from your new friends.

He harshly pushes you against the wall, "what do you think you're doing princess?"

You flip your position, he winced as his back connects with the concrete wall. "You ask you the same thing, princess."

His hand instinctively wrapped around your muscular arm submissively.

"you like that don't you?" You asked.

He nervously glanced around him for on lookers. Luckily he'd chosen a pretty secluded spot

"wouldn't want your fan girls to see you being treated like the pretty white you are?" You smirked.

He nodded shyly.

You grabbed his ass, earning a submissive squeak from him.

"such a good princess, getting his flat ass groped," you smile, you see him swallow a moan as his eyes flutter shut.

You begin painfully slowly palming him through his shorts, feeling him grow under you.

"I hope you lose," you whisper sensually into his ear.

He scowls at you as you pull away completely. Leaving him hard, exposed, and blushing as you return to your new friends.

______

The cheers from Karasuno's supporters hadn't quieted down as the team packed up. Still high on adrenaline and pride for your baby cousin, you took the time to use the bathroom before the long drive home.

Rounding the corner you heard voices, recognizing one to be Oikawa and the other belonging to a deep voiced man.

Sneaking a peak your eyes go wide. He was face to face with Ushiwaka. The former not fairing well in the conversation. You didn't think a man could look for upset than the way Oikawa looked right now.

As the conversation comes to a close, you wait until Oikawa has gone out if sight to chase after him. Accidentally running into Ushiwaka.

"sorry" you mumble, attempting to move past.

"you're with karasuno, yes?" Ushiwaka asks.

Your mind didn't really register him, instead giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a "that's great, buddy," as you run after the brunette.

Hearing an "I look forward to playing them." In the distance.

"Hey!"

He was too far ahead to really hear you, pushing past the front doors.

"HEY!" You yell, nearly at his heels. You stand in the doorway breathing hard, "TOORU!"

He turns to face you, Iwaizumi annoyed that he can't convince their captain to just get on the bus already.

You beckon him over and he skeptically approaches you.

"here to gloat?" He asks, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.

"Tobio is staying at Hinata's tonight and my aunt is out is town for the next two days," you say.

You see the cogs working as he pieces together what you're offering. His mouth forming an 'o' shape as he realizes.

You smile smugly before running back to where Karasuno's bus is parked, giving Tobio a running jump hug, which he awkwardly returned.

If nothing else, Oikawa was punctual. Arriving at exactly at 7:30. You hadn't done anything special, just heated up 2 frozen pizzas that your aunt had left. Watching his form as he quietly ate his 3 cheese. He hadn't said a word besides "thank you" after you'd served him. While yes, apart of you meant when you'd said that you hoped he lose but the guilt of seeing the cocky bastard looking so small on the other side of the table, nibbling on the crust. Pity maybe?

"You played really we-"

His eyes were red, his pride keeping him from crying in front of you. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You want to have sex?"

he hesitated before asking, "can we be nice?"

You nodded. Making your way to his chair, straddling his hips and cupping his face. You kissed him slow and deliberate. You don't kiss long before you start to feel his dick springing to life. You stand up pulling him, walking backwards, towards your room accidentally walking into the partially open door.

"Graceful," he commented, a hint of his salty tone under his words as he resumed kissing you.

You grinded against each other for a few moments, drinking in each others moans. You pulled away momentarily, his cheeks dusted pink, breathing heavy, his dick straining in his pants.

"You're so beautiful," you said. He blushed harder, his cock twitching in it's confines. Your fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and pull them down, licking your lips when his cock hits his stomach. You're about to press your lips to his tip when you feel pressure on your forehead.

"y-you don't have to..." he says. You cock your head to one side, your lips parted as you gaze up at him. "I-I get it you know... I don't hold it against you..."

"I want to," you say, "if you want me to."

He nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he enters your warm mouth.

Out of all the sex you'd had, this moment with Tooru didn't feel like sex. It felt like making love.

After he got close, you popped your mouth off and had ridden him. His muscles still sore from his games. Your lips danced with his as his hips met yours. Both of you reaching your climax simultaneously.

Tired in the best way, you cuddle up to his bare chest, kissing his cheek, "don't think this means I like you, flatass."

"of course," he says, relaxing into your touch.

"good."

"it was the fact that my dick was down your throat that made be think that."

You punch him in the ribs, earning an 'ouch' followed by a quiet, "let me have one win today." Followed by an even quieter "sorry" from you.

You place a gentle kiss on his cheek again before returning to your snuggle position. He wraps his arms around your waist as you both drift off to sleep.

______

It's been a number of days and neither if you had spoken about it. You wanted to text him a simple 'good morning' but the image of him quietly shuffling out of your room at the crack of dawn when he thought you were still sleeping, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You didn't want to seem too eager or somehow let on that not only were you awake but had enjoyed when he'd done it.

After the girls had lost to Fukurodani's girls in the semi finals, Ryu had insisted on dragging you out to play volleyball with her and some 'friends'. You secretly hope it's the other girls from your team. You find yourself not disappointed that it's Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

"Warm up 'Yama!" Oikawa yells at you, serving the ball in your direction as you and Ryu approach.

Caught off guard for a moment, you return the ball back at him, hitting his face lightly with an oof.

Of course, Ryu wanted to set for her boyfriend, leaving you with Oikawa.

You made a pretty good team, he picked up your style quickly, the ball exactly where you wanted it without having to tell him anything. Not to mention that Oikawa had racked up a third of the points on service aces alone, Iwaizumi finally adjusting to being on the receiving end on them. He and Ryu had made a magnificent comeback, clearly having practiced with each other before. You were lucky if you could get a piece of one of Iwa's spikes, Tooru faired better but they quickly took the lead. You grab Oikawa's arm, causing him to look at you curiously.

"set it to me, but I'll set it back. You spike it," you said, finishing your sentence by looking at him.

He considers it.

"break it up love birds!" Iwa shouted at you. Ryu making obnoxious kissing noises behind him. You quickly let go of his arm to flip her off, causing her to burst out laughing.

Iwa serves.

"it's mine!" Tooru yells. Mid jump, he faces you, the subtlest of winks as the ball flies into the air.

Smiling, you angle your body for a spike, Ryu taking the bait, but at the last moment, your hand sent the ball perpendicular to the net, straight into Oikawa's hand. The ball whizzing past Iwa's ear.

The adrenaline getting the better of you as you both embrace, celebrating a successful kill.

You revel in you best friend and her stoic boyfriend exchanging a bewildered look.

At the end of the game Oikawa offers to drive you home, when out of the way of prying eyes, he leans against his car. "Before your cousin goes to nationals, he and shorty should play against us."

"Yeah and maybe Tobio can set for me one round," you say, playing with the hem of his shirt, "but if there's any funny business from you, I'm calling it off."

"Who, me??" he jokes, aware of his history with your family.

You don't respond, opting to gently press your lips to his. He returns the kiss, cupping your face.

________________

Did I write myself into the story? ┐( ∵ )┌ Maybe a little...

I'm also not opposed to doing a part two, so lemme know in the comments ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Also not me writing my first Haikyuu fic be Oikawa when I wanna break his knees 🥴🤚 (couldn't resist tho he's been on my mind, especially with glasses 🥵🤒)

Also also not me writing this from 1:30 am to 8am then had half my work deleted so I had to redo it the following night 🤪👈

#reader x oikawa #oikawa smut #haikyuu smut #oikawa tooru #haikyuu iwaizumi #degration #oikawa hate sex #no beta we die like men #oikawa is hot and its not fair #im bad at tags #just smug oikawa things #hate sex #anime smut #heterosexuality is a myth #which is why all characters are at least bi

247 notes · View notes

kirishimaswife2819 · 3 years

Text

Wrong || Katsuki Bakugou x Reader (Birthday fic)

Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2

↠Author’s Note: Hi! I hope you guys like this, I feel like it didn’t turn out how I wanted it to but I still think that it’s okay. Hope you guys like it! -Danielle <3

↠Characters: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

↠Summary: After accidentally distancing yourself from Bakugou to avoid accidentally revealing the secret party you’re planning for him, he assumes the worst and stays late at work because of it, but what happens when he comes home and realizes he was completely wrong?

↠Genre: Angst to fluff

↠Word Count: 2.1k

↠Warnings: None

↠Notes: None

You yawned and rolled over, reaching over to grab onto your husband, but when he wasn’t there, you opened your eyes. His side of the bed was empty, so you looked at the clock and saw the time. You frowned, he should still be in bed, he never left bed that early.

Normally in the mornings, he woke up early for the pure purpose of cuddling you, not that he would admit that out loud though. Plus, he always shook you awake to let you know that he was going to go get ready for work, so you found it even more odd that he didn’t do that either.

“Katsuki!?” You called, and soon enough he entered the bedroom.

“What?” He asked, crossing his arms, dressed in his work clothes.

“Why are you leaving so early?” You asked, sitting up and wiping some sleep from your eyes.

“I have to get to work early,” he replied, “I gotta go, bye.”

“Oh, wait-” you tried, but he already walked out of the bedroom door. You frowned, and considered going after him, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood right then, so you decided to just leave him go. You could tell him happy birthday when he got home from work. Besides, if he went in early, that meant he could come home early and get to come home to the party earlier. In your head, you did the math and concluded that Katsuki should be home around four or five, so you still had plenty of time to get everything set up.

You went back to sleep for a few hours, before finally finding the energy to get up out of bed and continue on with your day.

Bakugou sat at his desk, his pile of paperwork sitting in front of him. He was planning on getting some done since he went in earlier than he was supposed to but he was pissed and didn't want to accidentally burn any of it.

He knew that you had to be cheating on him and he was pissed off. You must not have noticed that he noticed, but you changed your password and took his finger print out of his phone. He also saw you delete a call, he just didn't see who it was.

Little did he know, you were planning a huge party for his thirtieth birthday, and you were just covering your tracks so that he didn't find out about it before it actually happened.

But that wasn't an option in his mind as he sat there, refraining from burning some hand prints into his desk. Eventually he got sick of trying to do paperwork and just went to go let some steam off.

"Okay, everything's set up, now we just need Katsuki," you announced, pressing the last corner of a banner that said "Happy Birthday Katsuki!!" to make it stick to the wall better.

The party was big, but you only invited a few of his close friends, knowing he wouldn't want to see a ton of people on his birthday. So, you just had a lot of stuff to do and his favorite foods there.

"When's he get off work?" Kirishima asked, sitting at your kitchen table.

"Any minute now," you said, glancing at the clock and seeing it was a little past five so he should be home soon. And so you waited.

And waited.

And waited

And then waited some more. Everybody tried calling Katsuki multiple times and every time he either ignored them or picked up and told them he was busy before hanging up the phone again. And to top it all off, he wouldn't even answer your calls, or texts, he either rejected them or straight up ignored them before finally you gave up.

"Are you alright?" Kirishima asked, watching as you messed with the food on your plate. Mina and Sero had to leave since they had work the next day and Denki passed out on the couch. And anybody else that was there also went home.

"I'm fine," you replied, sighed and sitting straight up from your previous position of resting your head on your hand, "You can get Denki and go home."

"Are you sure?" Kirishima asked, frowning, "I can help you clean up if you want. Or I can go see Bakugou and talk to him."

"No, it's fine. Just get Denki and go," you said, "Thanks for helping me set all this up."

"Yeah, you're welcome," Kirishima said, "Are you sure that you're fine?"

"I told you that I was fine, just go!" You snapped and Kirishima looked at you, concerned, but he still got up and went into your living room to go wake Denki up. They left after saying goodbye.

And as soon as you heard the front door slam shut, you broke down, crying into your hands, asking yourself a million questions.

Why hadn't Bakugou come home? Why was he ignoring you? Did he not want to spend his birthday with you?

You didn't know the answer to any of them and that just made you sob harder. You were crying so much, that you didn't even hear your husband enter the house around eleven that night.

As soon as he stepped in, he had to pause to process what was in front of him. And when he did, everything made a whole lot more sense, everything pieced together in his mind.

The deleted calls, password change, you being a bit distant, everything made complete and total sense. He sighed and brought a hand to his forehead, mentally beating himself up for even thinking that you’d do that to him. Of course you wouldn’t, you’ve been married to him for four years, and in those four years you had been the absolute best to him.

He was also mad at himself for forgetting it was his birthday, why didn’t anyone say anything to him at work? Was it because he looked like he was about to explode everything the whole day? Or did they all forget too? Either way, he was pissed off at everybody he worked with for not saying anything all day.

He sighed, eventually bringing his hand away from his forehead and deciding to go get ready for bed. He could apologize to you tomorrow, since he figured you were already asleep, and he would take the day off to spend with you. Just as he was about to make his way down the hall and to the room that you two shared, he heard quiet sobs, coming from the kitchen.

He furrowed his brows at this and opened the door that led to the kitchen, and he was a bit shocked to find you at the table, sobbing into your hands. His heart was hurting at the fact that you were so upset that you hadn’t even heard him enter the home, or the kitchen for that matter.

Bakugou sighed, before approaching you and gently placing a hand on your shoulder, startling you. You jumped at the sudden contact and immediately turned. You could make out Katsuki’s form through your blurry eyes, but you couldn’t read his expression very well, so you started frantically wiping at your eyes.

“Where the hell have you been?” You questioned, attempting to sound loud and mad but instead you let out a choked sob half way through.

“Y/n, I am so sorry,” Bakugou apologized, which is a pretty rare occurrence but Bakugou knew he fucked up this time, “I totally forgot it was my fucking birthday, and I thought you were cheating on me, and-”

“You...” you interrupted, your voice a bit small and quiet but it still shut Katsuki up, “You what?”

“I thought you were cheating on me,” Bakugou said, and he watched your heart break all over again. He wanted nothing more than to reach out for you and pull you into his arms, but you were pissed and he knew it would probably be better to let you speak your mind before he tried to make it all better.

“You really-” you sniffled, “think that I would do that to you?”

“No, of course not! You’ve just been so secretive, and I guess I assumed the worst. I’m sorry,” Bakugou apologized but you didn’t want to hear any of it. You just walked past him and out of the kitchen without saying a word. Bakugou almost went after you, but he was getting more pissed off every minute, and he didn’t want to accidentally hurt your feelings again, so he settled for slamming his hands down on the counter and yelling out, “God dammit!”

You returned to your room and changed out of your outfit. It was Katsuki’s favorite outfit of yours, so you had worn it for his birthday. You didn’t even bother putting it in the laundry basket and instead just threw it on the floor, before pulling on a t-shirt and some sleeping shorts, and then getting ready for bed. Bakugou remained in the kitchen, thinking about what he should do at this point.

Finally, you were all curled up under your comforter, in your bed, and you let out a few sobs and sniffles before falling asleep, since you were pretty tired out from the day. Eventually Bakugou returned, being careful not to wake you as he entered the bathroom and showered, before getting dressed into his pajamas, which consisted of his t-shirt and his boxers.

He glanced over at you, and the empty spot beside you. As much as he wanted to cuddle up beside you, he knew he couldn’t. One, you were pissed, and two, he knew he didn’t deserve to sleep with you after what an ass he was. So, he settled for the couch, it wasn’t like it was uncomfy, he could afford a pretty comfortable couch and you guys often napped on it, but it was the fact that you were upset with him that made it so hard for him to sleep that night.

You opened your eyes, the next morning, to be met with your ceiling, and surprisingly, no sun in your eyes. Normally Katsuki opened the blinds as a way of telling you it was time to get up, but this time they were still closed. But you knew it wasn’t night, since the room was still pretty lit from the light that traveled through the blinds.

And then a smell hit your nose, the smell of your favorite breakfast food. Your brows furrowed at this, shouldn’t Katsuki be at work? And why the hell was he making you food? And then it hit you, the fight, he was doing it to apologize for what he did.

You knew that maybe you were being a little over dramatic but it hurt to spend all day doing something nice for somebody and then have them completely ignore it/not even notice it until later. You heard the bedroom door creak open and you glanced over to see your husband, still dressed in his pajamas, his hair an absolute mess, carrying a tray containing all your favorite breakfast foods.

“Morning, Y/n,” Katsuki greeted you, setting the tray on your nightstand, since you were still laying down, “Can we talk now?”

“Look, I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“Huh?” He replied, confused as to why you were apologizing to him.

“I shouldn’t of been so secretive. I just wanted to surprise you on your birthday, I’m also sorry I just walked away last night and-”

“No, no, no!” Bakugou quickly shut you up, “Don’t you dare fucking apologize to me. I’m the one who fucked up by not talking to you and assuming the worst. And then I forgot about my birthday and ended up hurting your feelings. This is my fault.”

“No, Katsuki, it’s-”

“No, stop it!” Bakugou interrupted again, “Shut up.”

“Fine, how about we both fucked up?” You questioned, and Bakugou grumbled.

“Sure, whatever, will shut you up,” Bakugou replied, and you smiled, sitting up and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Thank you for breakfast, but get over here!” You said, and Katsuki quickly sat down beside you, before letting you position yourself in his lap. Then you reached over and got the tray, setting in your own lap. Soon, the two of you were cuddling and eating. You occasionally reached over your shoulder and offered a bite to your husband, which he took each time.

After finishing eating, you two ended up cuddled up next to each, and you sighed, happy to finally be alright with Bakugou again.

“Hey, Katsuki,” you asked.

“Hm?”

“Happy late birthday, sorry I didn’t say it yesterday,” you said.

“Thank you, babe. But don’t apologize, it’s my fault you didn’t get too. I love you,” he said, kissing your cheek before your lips.

“Love you too, Katsu.”

Thank you to these two anons for the idea!!! <3

#katsuki bakugou #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki angst to fluff #bakugou angst to fluff #bakugou angst #katsuki angst #angst to fluff #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou oneshot #mha oneshots #bnha oneshots

271 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

DIWK - Chapter nine: “Fuck it, I love you”

Word count: 8,2K

Summary: (Y/N) is struggling with her feelings for Spencer, and being just her friend might be harder than she thought. Spencer feels everybody but (Y/N) knows he is in love with her, and for a second, he is sure he will lose her.

Warnings: Cursing, angst frustration, mention of S03E09 (Penelope), usual Criminal Minds content.

A/N: Hello my dearest friends! hope you are having a great week, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. All feedback is welcome!

Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

(Y/N)'s point of view

Since Rossi joined the team, we were as busy as we had been in a long time. We didn't have much free time, and most of the cases took us out of Virginia. But, it was our job, and we all liked it, which is why none of us complained much. No one but JJ, who still tried to keep her relationship with Will a secret.

On the bright side, all that traveling and working with the team got us even closer. Having Rossi there gave us a boost to be better at what we did and be even better friends. We had to spend a lot of time together, and by the look in David's eyes, you could tell he was surprised by how good we all got along. At least most of the time.

We were in Florida trying to find an unsub who kidnapped and mutilated women when it happened. After knowing them for over two years, Garcia and Morgan had a fight. A real fight.

- "Hey, how is it going with Father Marks? Any of the volunteers jumped out at him?"- I asked Morgan when I found him at the station after a long day trying to find a lead that might take us to the unsub or the victims.

- "Not yet"- my cellphone rang that second, and Garcia's voice at the other side of the line gave me more info on the case.

- "I'm still running the particulars of our homicides though vicap. Nothing so far."- she announced.

- "Ok. I just sent you the volunteer search list"- I walked from Morgan and sipped my coffee, feeling there was something off.

- "Ok. And I'm cross-checking the names against mental institution records."

- "Pay attention to individuals who were involuntarily committed in Florida. Rossi is convinced our unsub is the type that likes to stick close to home."

- "Got it. Talk to you later."

- "Wait, PG. You usually call Morgan about these kinds of things. Is everything ok?"- I whispered though I knew Morgan was paying a lot of attention to what I was talking about on the phone with Garcia.

- "God, I hate profilers"- she groaned at the other side of the line.

- "Come on, tell me."

- "Fine. I met this guy in the coffee shop I go to every day. His computer crashed, and I helped him fix it. He flirted, I flirted, and he asked for my number, and somehow I gave it to him 'cos he was incredibly hot and nice, and did I mention he was smoking hot? I didn't think he was going to call, but he did, which was surprising 'cos these things do not happen to me, sweet cheeks, never! But it did! And when I told Derek, he just told me I have to blow him off 'cos it's too weird."

- "What!?"- Penelope spoke so fast she didn't even breathe.

- "Yes! Just because he wouldn't hit on me doesn't mean another hot guy wouldn't! And he made me feel like I don't deserve anyone's attention."

- "I'm gonna kill him,"- I whispered and turned around. Derek wide opened his eyes and shrugged, not getting what was going on.

- "Don't. I'll take care of him when you guys come home."

- "Well, take care in the mid-time, and I'm here if you need to talk."

I hung down and sighed. Morgan looked at me, knowing I knew what happened between the two of them.

- "So?"

- "You fucked it up,"- I whispered and smacked his shoulder.

- "Is she furious?"

- "She's hurt. That's actually worse."- Derek sighed and shook his head.

- "What do I do?"

- "You mean, other than to apologize?"- I walked with him to get Hotch and tell him what Garcia had just informed us- "Think big, 'cos you really fucked it up."

- "What does Reid do when he fucks things up with you?"- Morgan asked, and I could sense the innuendo hidden in his words.

- "He doesn't do a thing, 'cos he never fucks up"- I answered with a pleased smile and turned to Hotch. It was time to catch a killer, not time to argue with Derek.

I always thought Morgan and Garcia were the greatest friends I had ever met. I could envy their relationship, especially 'cos they could be so flirtatious and so adorable, and at the same time, you knew their friendship was sacred.

I envied that. I don't think Penelope felt for Derek the way I felt about Spencer. That's why I was sure I had fucked it up. I didn't have to catch those kinds of feelings for my best friend, and I felt I had to find a way to get rid of them. I had to stop having a crush on Reid.

Those weeks had been challenging and yet amazing. It was awful knowing I had a crush on my best friend, but I was really enjoying all the time we were spending together. We had been sharing rooms for the last two cases, and that meant endless sleepovers with Spencer. After a long day, we would meet in our room and just share candies, ice cream, pizza, movies, whatever we needed to decompress.

If things had been too hard, I would lay with him on his bed and just cuddle for a while before going back to my bed. More than once, I fell asleep with him, feeling his fingers playing with my hair as he read. I always apologized the following day, but Spencer kept saying he didn't bother, that he had slept well and that I could always count on him whenever I felt bad.

Knowing I had never done that with Mikey or Frank more than a handful of times in all the years we had met each other made me feel like the shit. Sure, I could sleep in the same bed with them, but not the way I did with Spencer. This felt intimate. Serious. Real. Waking up in Spencer's arms was the best way to start my day, and each time it happened, it made me feel worst and worst 'cos I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I ever had over a silly, stupid, meaningless crush.

Each time it happened, I promised myself it would be the last one. And each time I did, I ended up falling into his arms again. It never meant anything sexual. It was just sharing a bed, cuddling. Holding each other. It was all the intimacy I always refused to share with other people. And I guess that's what freaked me out the most: how vulnerable I was with Reid and how much I enjoyed it for the very first time. Ever.

- "Hey,"- I heard Spencer whisper when we landed. I was curled up on his chest on the couch on the plane, as usual after a long case. I scratched my eyes, probably messing with my makeup, and smiled at him.

- "Sorry... you must have been awfully uncomfortable."

- "Not really. Besides, you looked like you needed a good nap,"- I chuckled and shook my head, sitting down correctly.

- "Next time I drool on your jacket, please wake me up,"- I collected all my things and took a look around- "What time is it?"

- "Almost midnight,"- he announced and stared at me as he held his go bag and put on his jacket- "Do you want to grab something to eat before you go home?"- and I nodded, thinking that was exactly what I had in mind.

But life had other plans, and this time it had nothing to do with us. We were about to get out of my car to catch a late dinner when I got a call from Hotch telling me Penelope was in the local hospital. Spencer's cell phone rang at the same time, and JJ announced the same. We looked at each other for a moment, scared of the worst, and all we managed to do was to get buckled up and drive to the hospital. We both needed to know Penelope would be ok, but all we knew was that she had been shot, and the doctors were doing all they could to save her life.

As soon as we reached the waiting area, we met Aaron and JJ. They looked as worried as we were.

- "She's in surgery,"- JJ announced, and I hugged her immediately- "There's no word."

- "This is crazy,"- Spencer whispered as I felt JJ's arms tighten around me.

- "I can't believe it! I talked to her before we took off."- I murmured and closed my eyes.

- "What do we know?"- Rossi asked, walking over in a hurry with Prentiss.

- "Police think it's a botched robbery,"- Aaron explained.

- "Where's Morgan?"- Emily asked, looking around the hall.

- "He's not answering his cell,"- JJ replied, and Spencer took his phone right away.

- "I'll call him again."

I looked at him as he walked away and turned to my friends. Emily and JJ were doing their best to stay strong, but it was clear they were fighting the tears back, just as badly as I was doing.

Spencer walked back and shook his head. He couldn't reach Morgan. I walked to him and rested my head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. It was unreal. I felt I was in a nightmare, and I couldn't wake up, no matter how much I tried.

- "They can't give me an update,"- JJ walked over to us after half an hour. She had been trying to get more info about Penelope's condition, but nothing.

- "Morgan's phone just keeps going straight to voicemail,"- Spencer added, and Prentiss's angry voice nearly made me jump.

- "Where the hell is he?!"

Nearly two hours later, Spencer finally contacted Derek, and in less than half an hour, he rushed into the hospital and found us still waiting for news about Penelope. He ran over, shocked and confused, and looked at us, waiting for an explanation.

- "She's been in surgery a couple of hours."- JJ whispered as soon as he stood by our side.

- "I was at church. My phone was off,"- he explained and mostly tried to excuse himself for not being there earlier.

- "There is nothing you could have been doing here,"- Reid whispered, trying to make him feel better. Spoiler: it didn't work. Morgan was getting more and more hyperventilated with every second he spent in that hospital.

- "The police got any leads?"

- "I spoke to the lead detective. He doesn't think we'll get anything from the scene."

Hotch spoke in the calmest voice he had. Morgan was about to say something but bit his tongue. Instead of yelling, he walked around the hall for a few minutes until a doctor approached us.

- "Penelope Garcia?"- and we all nearly yelled "Yes" as a desperate reply.

- "The bullet went into her chest and ricocheted into her abdomen. She lost a lot of blood. It was touch-and-go for a while, but we were able to repair the injuries."

- "So what are you saying?"- JJ questioned as we all held our breath.

- "One centimeter over, and it would have torn right through her heart. Instead, she could actually walk out of here in a couple of days. And I'd say that's a minor miracle."

The way we all sighed, relieved at those words, was priceless and unbeatable. The doctor smiled at us and added.

- "She needs her rest. You can see her in the morning."

- "Thank you,"- I smiled at him, and he was gone. I turned around and looked at Reid. He cut me a short smile as Hotch's voice caught our attention.

- "David and I will go to the scene. I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol. I don't care whether we're working this officially or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this."

We all nodded right away. No one had other plans. And after those words, Hotch and Rossi were out of the hospital, and we were left waiting for Penelope to come back from surgery.

- "How are you?"- Reid whispered and handed me a new cup of coffee.

- "Scared. You?"

- "Me too"

- "Who could ever want to hurt Penny? She is adorable,"- I murmured and shook my head.

- "We are gonna find whoever did this"- Spencer held my hand and cut me the warmest smile. I nodded and looked at Derek, who stood up from his chair for the hundredth time and walked to Penelope's room to see if she was ok.

- "In case we ever fight, I want you to know I will always forgive you,"- I murmured in Spencer's ear and rested my head on his shoulder.

- "Should I be worried?"- he asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "I just wanted you to know that you will always be my best friend, Spencer Walter Reid. No matter what happens between us."

And I meant every word back then. I had no idea what was coming ahead and how much things would change within a few months.

Spencer's point of view

The attack against Penelope hit us all hard. She had been shot by the same man who had invited her out for dinner. The one she and Derek had had a fight about.

Of course, Morgan was the one who was more affected by the whole situation. I tried to comfort him, and he nearly killed me. I knew Derek didn't mean to be mean. He was just losing it and feeling overwhelmingly guilty about everything going on. He was in hell, and you could tell. I didn't want to think what it would be like to be in his place. If anything ever happened to (Y/N) and I wasn't there to help her, I would go crazy. So I understood how Derek felt and did my best to be supportive.

Those days also made it pretty evident Rossi was still shocked we were such close friends and team members at the same time. I know he was friends with Gideon, but the fact our friendship surprised him so much made me wonder how close they really were.

It didn't get better when we were all asked to stop working on the case after Hotch found an encrypted file in Garcia's system, and she ended up suspended. That's who we found out how the FBI had recruited her.

Morgan and I were at the hospital with Penelope when Hotch gave her the news and heard the story of her hackers days. Something that I bet she didn't really want us to know about her.

- "After my parents died, I... kind of went off the rails for a while. I dropped out of Cal Tech. I lived underground, basically. But I kept teaching myself code. It was like the one thing that kept me together. In the way, the bureau decided to keep an eye on me, I guess... Did you know they keep track of hackers?"

Neither Morgan nor I opened our mouths. We couldn't, 'cos we were processing the whole information.

- "They do, of the ones who have the skill to be either extremely useful or a potential menace."

- "So they offered you a job?"- I asked her, and she simply nodded- "Like Frank Abagnale. The bureau figured if you can't beat 'em, hire 'em."

- "Yeah. Something like that."

- "Garcia, what's on the encrypted file?"- Derek crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her, waiting to hear nothing but the truth.

- "I'm required to keep a record of everything the team does. And after my system got hacked and Elle got shot, I just didn't want anyone else to be able to get at you."

- "We'll talk to the doctor, see if he'll clear you to leave,"- I whispered and left the room, just in time to get JJ's call to announce we were officially off the case. It wasn't good, and it wasn't getting any better at all.

In a way, the fact we were all such good friends wasn't as beneficial to the case as it could be. It all came clear later that night. Penelope was attacked again, this time in her own house. Unfortunately, a cop was killed in the process, and if it weren't for Morgan, who insisted on crashing her couch that night, Penelope would have been dead too.

We were all at her house at three in the morning. We wanted to take her to the BAU and keep her safe, though we all knew it would be hard to explain to the authorities, all things considered. We were all just talking about what had just happened when Garcia started remembering more details about her date with her attacker, and we decided to ask more questions about it in case she could give us more info that might lead us to him.

- "Tell us about the car,"- I told her and sat in front of her.

- "Why?"

- "Just go with him"- Morgan smiled at her and nodded, trying to reassure her everything was ok. It wasn't, not even close.

- "You said it was white, 4-door, American. What else?"- I asked Penelope, but she shook her head, confused.

- "That's it. It was just a car."

- "No, come on, think. Anything. Go back."- Morgan held her hand. We could tell she was trying her best to cooperate, and he was making his best effort to be sweet and calm, considering he was losing it to catch the asshole who hurt her.

- "The seat belt was buckled behind his back. Why does that matter?"- and that was progress.

- "It wasn't a rental. It was for surveillance,"- Derek explained to her.

- "Agents don't wear seat belts. They need to get out in a hurry"- (Y/N) added and was about to add something else when Rossi walked across the room and sat in front of Penelope.

- "All right, let's cut the crap. You need to be straight with us. Right now!"- she wide opened her eyes in shock and turned to Morgan- "Look at me, not them!"- Rossi commanded.

- "I'm not hiding anything,"- Garcia whispered, astonished.

- "You got shot. Most people get shot for a reason,"- she tried to look at Derek again- "Eyes here!"

- "Ease up, Rossi!"- Morgan shouted when David raised his voice, scaring everybody in that room.

- "You got a roomful of people here willing to believe that an FBI agent has tried to kill you. We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!"

Rossi yelled on her face, pushing her to tell the truth, and Garcia nearly started crying.

- "What?"

- "Come on, man!"- I guess we were all waiting for Derek to lose it and punch him.

- "It's nothing bad!"- Penelope yelled, and every eye in the room turned to her.

- "Spit it out!"- David pushed her again.

- "It's... I counsel victims' families, and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask me to look into cases for them."

- "What does that mean?"- Rossi frowned and kept his eyes on hers.

- "It just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever's investigating them knows that the FBI considers them a priority."

- "You're not authorized to do that"- Hotch's voice was as severe as kind, which surprised us all. Rossi the most, I guess, 'cos he stood up and turned around.

- "I know. I was just trying to help."- Garcia whispered, fighting the tears back.

- "But whoever's working those cases thinks you're watching them,"- (Y/N) said in a softer voice, probably to explain to Garcia how the whole situation had ended up with her being shot.

- "I just wanted to put pressure on them so that they don't slide,"- Penelope excused herself.

- "How many cases are we talking about?"- Hotch asked.

- "I don't know. 7, 8 maybe. I need to get into my system."

- "You can't. You're suspended,"- Hotch reminded her, though it sounded more like "you are grounded."

- "Wait a minute,"- Morgan interrupted the conversation- "Garcia, on your date, you said this guy was pressing you to find out if you were working murder cases. Hotch, we gotta look at those files."

Hotch looked at David, who was still as pissed as earlier. I don't think neither of us had ever seen him acting like it.

- "I told you, I'm sick of this jagoff being in front of us,"- Rossi said to him, and Aaron nodded.

- "Dave's right. We'll go back to the BAU. Morgan, Reid, (Y/N), Prentiss, you stay here and make sure no one forgets to log out of the system. Garcia should not have access."

We all stayed in her living room as Garcia walked to her room and hacked her own system. At the other side of the screen, Kevin Lynch, the analyst of another FBI department, was fighting back, trying to protect the files, and losing the fight after a few minutes.

Later on, (Y/N) explained to me that was how they met and finally how they fell in love. I guess everything happens for a reason, after all.

We didn't catch the bad guy that day. Instead, JJ was forced to kill him. It was the very first time she shot anyone, and surprisingly, she wasn't as shook up as we all imagined she might be.

- "You do whatever it takes to protect your family,"- she said when Penelope asked her if she was ok.

And she was right. That's how we all felt for each other at that point. And somehow, we all knew we were going to prove it, sooner or later.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I had been part of the BAU for almost three years already when it happened. And I felt so stupid 'cos we had all had a rough couple of weeks, and the last thing anyone needed was another worry. We had just gotten over the whole Penelope issue; having another member of the team injured was the worst thing that could happen.

But it did.

I got shot.

We were after our unsub. George Flemming. The bastard had killed four women in less than a month, convinced God had sent him to Earth to get rid of sin. We had been after him for two whole weeks until we finally got him. But I was stupid and reckless and didn't wait for backups. I wanted to catch that mother fucker, 'cos the way he had killed those women made me madder than I had ever been with an unsub before. That's too dangerous. You can't lose yourself in a case, 'cos you lose your objectivity. You risk your life every day in this job, but that specific day, I put mine on a silver platter.

We were supposed to wait for backup. I was just checking the perimeter, searching for the unsub. Spencer was with me, but he stayed behind for a second, trying to contact Garcia to run the plate number of a car we found hidden in a barn. I should have waited for him, but I couldn't stay still and do nothing when I heard a woman screaming for help. I had to run and try to save her. I wasn't going to let George kill yet another innocent woman and get away with it. He had to pay.

- "FBI! Freeze!"- I shouted as I walked into the last room of the house and found George holding close and pointing a gun at a woman who was covered in blood and bruises but still very much alive. Which, I must say, was a relief.

- "Stay away!! I'll shoot her!! I swear I'm gonna shoot her!!"

The unsub was sweating cold; he looked sick and weak. He looked like I could definitely take him down in a fight.

- "George! Put down the gun!"- I commanded and didn't move my eyes from him.

- "You put your gun down!"

- "I am sorry, George, but I can't do that!"- I answered- "Now let her go and put the gun down before anyone else gets hurt."

- "I don't have to listen to a whore like you! Who do you think you are? Giving me commands? You are evil!! Evil!"- he shouted, clearly losing control.

- "(Y/N), where the hell are you?!"- I heard Reid asking in the earpiece, and I just shook my head.

- "That's all you've got, George? Hiding women in the back of your house and threatening them with your gun? That makes your God proud?"

- "Shut up!! You bring disgrace to Earth! You should be punished too!!"- I took a step closer slowly and shook my head.

- "You are going to be punished, George. For killing innocent women."

- "Innocent? What makes you think they didn't deserve it?"

- "What makes you think you are the one to judge them?"

I kept my gun pointed at him, but I couldn't take a shot 'cos he grabbed the victim and kept her close to him, like a shield.

- "There's a special place in hell for whores like you!"- he announced, and suddenly, all I could feel was pain. There was a second gunshot, and George was down. I took a look around and saw Morgan still pointing his gun at him from outside the room, as Spencer and Prentiss ran inside, and he moved to me and held me close.

- "Medic!! We need a medic!!"- Reid yelled frantically through the speaker- "(Y/N)! How do you feel?"

- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- I whispered in the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my entire life- He just shot my shoulder, nothing important.

But the way Spencer looked at me, I swear that no one has ever looked at me the same until this day.

- "Don't move!"- he commanded, though his voice was soft and gentle. Prentiss took care of checking George's body. He was clearly dead. She liberated his last hostage and helped her to the ambulance while Reid stayed by my side until a doctor appeared.

- "Why didn't you wait for me?"- Spencer asked as they took me to the ambulance.

- "She needed help"- that was all I could say.

- "Please, try not to talk,"- the paramedic commanded and got me into the ambulance, followed closely by Reid.

- "I'm coming with her."

My best friend wasn't asking for permission. He was informing the medical team he wasn't going anywhere else. And by the tone of his voice, it was clear no one was ever going to change his mind.

- "That was so stupid, chipmunk,"- Spencer whispered and held my hand in our way to the nearest hospital. The paramedics kept pressing my shoulder to stop the bleeding, and I just closed my eyes 'cos honestly, it hurt too much to process what was going on.

- "I am so sorry I wasn't there with you, chipmunk."

- "It's ok, honey,"- I mumbled- "You are right. I was stupid. This is my fault."

- "Please, don't talk,"- the paramedic commanded again, and I just shut up 'cos the pain was too much.

Spencer stayed by my side the whole time. After we reached the hospital, the paramedics took me to the ER, where a doctor cleaned my wound and took out the bullet from my shoulder.

It was a clean wound, and luckily, no arteries were hit. I just got some stitches and a sling, plus a few painkillers I really didn't want to take, 'cos after Spencer's experience with drugs, I was scared of painkillers.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered to the nurse who helped me get dressed and walked out of the room to find Spencer filling up the medical forms and Morgan and Prentiss waiting for me

- "How are you feeling, princess?"- Derek asked and caressed my cheek.

- "Like a virgin"- I sang the Madonna song- "Shot for the very first time"- and though Emily chuckled, Spencer didn't think it was funny.

- "I can't believe you think this is something to joke about!"- Reid frowned, upset.

- "Calm down, honey. I'm ok, I'm alive. It was just a shot on the shoulder."

- "Just? Just a shot in the shoulder?"- and Spencer freaked out- "Did you know some of the larger vessels of the human body run through the shoulder? The subclavian artery and vein, which by the way, are the basic blood supply to the upper extremity."

- "I'm sorry, honey bunny. I shouldn't have said that."- I whispered and tried to calm him down, 'cos I knew precisely the kind of man Spencer could be when he was mad and stressed.

- "The brachial plexus is also located in the shoulder, and it's the primary nerve supply to the upper extremity as well,"- he added and didn't take his eyes from the form he was filling.

- "I understand,"- I added, but he didn't stop.

- "You should also know that the shoulder is a very complex spheroid joint, and if it's injured, it can lead to lifelong disability."

I stood in front of Spencer and placed my movable hand on his chest. That forced him to stop writing and look at me.

- "I'm sorry I got hurt. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to make you mad at me or worry. I am ok, I am here, and I promise I won't do something as stupid and reckless as this ever again. Ok?"

Spencer looked at me and sighed. Morgan and Prentiss were still there by our side, and I had the feeling that stopped my friend from saying what was in his mind. Instead, he nodded and cut me a short smile.

- "Good. Can we go home now?"- I asked, and Morgan grabbed my bag immediately.

- "The jet is waiting, pretty girl. Let's go."

The flight back home was too long. It was only a four hours flight from Fargo to Quantico. But it felt eternal. Besides, I kept doing my best to act cool and in zero pain, in a poor attempt not to worry Spencer. Little did I know, no matter what, he would be worried sick anyway.

- "I was on the phone with Frank,"- he announced and sat in front of me with a cup of hot chocolate.

- "Please don't tell me you called to tell him I got shot,"- Spencer stared at me and cut me a short smile. I closed my eyes and groaned- "Did he go nuts?"

- "No, I started by telling him you were alright."

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and sipped the cup he had prepared for me just the way I liked it, even with the little marshmallows.

- "Your mom went bonkers, though."

- "You called my mom?!"- I shouted, and everybody in the team turned around and looked at us- "Why did you do that?"- Spencer looked at me surprised and frowned.

- "You just got shot, chipmunk. Of course, I'm gonna tell your mom!"

- "But she is going to overreact!"

- "She won't! We already talked. She said she'd stop tomorrow by your apartment to have lunch."

- "Tomorrow, I'll be at work for lunch,"- I frowned, and I swear I wanted to cross my arms on my chest, but I couldn't, 'cos... I have been shot.

- "You won't be back to work until next week,"- Aaron announced from his seat, overhearing the conversation.

- "But Hotch! I'm ok!"

- "Spencer is correct. You just got shot. Take the rest of the week,"- I groaned and frowned at my boss.

- "I can still do my paperwork."- I can't believe I was begging not to get days off from work.

- "You do realize most people don't argue when their bosses give them a few days off, right princess?"- Derek took off his headphones and asked, frowning.

- "But I'm not injured,"- I argued, but I knew I was losing that fight.

- "Chipmunk, may I remind you, you just got shot!"- Spencer looked at me, annoyed.

- "But I'm fine! Look at me! I can dance!"- I was about to stand up and do a little dance, but Reid stopped me. He literally grabbed my good arm and kept me on my seat.

- "It's Wednesday. You just have to stay home Thursday and Friday. And I'll be there, making sure you won't do anything stupid."

I looked at Spencer and groaned one more time.

- "There's no way out of this, (Y/N). You are hurt, and I'm gonna take care of you."

- "Will you cook?"- I whispered and pouted, defeated. And Spencer chuckled, blushing.

- "I will definitely call and ask for your favorite food"- I tried not to smile and shook my head.

- "Oh no, no. If you wanna take the lead and take care of me, you will have to do the whole job and cook, Spencer Walter Reid."- I teased him, and his cheeks turned blood red in less than a minute.

- "Fine,"- he whispered, narrowing his eyes.

- "I can give you my carbonara a la Rossi recipe,"- David said to Spencer from his seat- "Guaranteed to heal all wounds, and special to cheer up your girlfriend, kid."

Everybody stayed quiet at the same time. I wide opened my eyes, shocked, and looked at Spencer, whose cheeks were burning red.

- "She... (Y/N) is not my girlfriend,"- Spencer mumbled and avoided looking at me for a few seconds. Rossi chuckled and turned to us.

- "You call each other cute nicknames, you are always together, you argue like I did with my first wife..."

- "No"- I shook my head and did my best to ignore Derek's teasing comments and Emily's laughter.

- "Well, you could have fooled me,"- David smiled at me, and I didn't know what to answer. I frowned and looked at Spencer, who somehow was even more blushed than he had been a moment earlier.

- "I'm driving you, by the way,"- he whispered, and I didn't really have the strength to argue against that, so I just nodded and sighed.

Spencer's point of view

I thought I was going to die when I saw (Y/N) lying on the floor, blood coming from her shoulder. Time passed in slow motion, like a movie cliché. I ran to her, and I didn't know if the perimeter had been secured. I had no idea if the unsub was dead. I would have killed him myself if I hadn't been focused on (Y/N).

Then she smiled and assured me she was ok. But that wasn't enough for me. Her face was so pale, though her smile was shining bright. So I held her and called a medic. She was in pain, and I didn't know what to do to help her.

I held her hand the whole ride to the hospital and stayed by her side in the ER while the doctor cleaned her wound and put some stitches on it. Then I walked with her to the jet, and the whole time I made my best and biggest effort to stay calm. But once we were on the air, on our way back home, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I could feel the tears fighting their way out, no matter how much I tried to keep them inside.

So I did what seemed more logical and locked myself in the backroom. I needed a minute to put myself together again before I had to continue pretending I didn't nearly lose the woman I love that day. So I washed my face and let the water run through my fingers for a few minutes, trying to calm myself down. But I failed, and the tears started falling down my cheeks anyway.

I rested my back against the door and slowly slipped down to the floor until I was sitting, hugging my legs, crying my heart out.

I knew why I was crying. It was a weird mix of fear and relief. I was scared to lose (Y/N), and at the same time, relieved nothing terrible had happened to her. I had to convince myself it was all ok, that she was there on the plane with me, hopefully trying to get some rest.

- "Spence?"- I heard JJ's voice at the other side of the door, and I quickly stood up and washed my face saying, "In a minute." I looked at my reflex. My eyes were puffed, my cheeks were red. There was no way I could ever convince anyone I hadn't been crying.

- "Can you open the door?"

- "There's another bathroom, JJ,"- I said and closed my eyes.

- "I need to talk to you."

- "I'm kind of busy here..."

- "Spence, please"- she begged, and I gave up, only because I knew she wasn't going to leave me alone. No one at the BAU seems to understand the concept of personal space.

I opened the door and let her in. The bathroom was too small for the two of us, and I didn't want to think of all the teasing I would get from Morgan if he saw us locked in there. JJ smiled and handed me a cup of coffee. I just sipped it carefully, 'cos it was very hot, and looked at my hands, avoiding eye contact.

- "Why were you crying?"- she whispered and stood against the wall in front of me.

- "I wasn't,"- I lied, but she just raised an eyebrow, and I knew it was useless to deny it- "It was a hard day, and I needed to decompress somehow."

- "Was it because of (Y/N)?"- she simply asked, and I just nodded- "It wasn't your fault, Spence."

- "I should have been there. But I stayed behind, on the phone with Garcia checking the plate of a car that didn't even matter at the end."

- "You were doing your job, and so was she."

- "But I should have done my job better, 'cos something bad might have happened to her, and I would have never forgiven myself,"- JJ nodded and reached out for one of my hands. I tried not to look at her but failed.

- "Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

- "Telling her I feel guilty she got injured won't stop her from being reckless,"- but JJ shook her head.

- "No, Spence. I'm talking about you telling her you are in love with her."

I widened my eyes and stayed still, shocked, blushed. JJ cut me a short smile and probably tried to soothe me, 'cos I immediately got all defensive.

- "What... what are you talking about? I am not in love with (Y/N),"- I whispered and prayed no one outside that bathroom had heard her.

- "Spencer, there is nothing wrong with being in love. I actually think you two would make a cute couple."

- "No, JJ, no. I am not in love with her."

- "Spence, I'm not a profiler, but you are not that hard to read. I can see the way you look at her."

- "She is my best friend."

- "But you love her,"- JJ sentenced, and I just sighed- "It's not wrong to have feelings for someone, Spence. I am sure she feels the same way too."

- "We are just friends. That's it. Thanks for the coffee,"- I added and opened the door.

I walked out of the bathroom in a rush. To avoid talking with anyone on the plane, I called Frank and told him what had happened. I also asked him for Mrs. (Y/L/N) phone number and explained the facts too. She was so scared it took me a while to calm her down.

- "I'm going to stay with her tonight,"- I said and looked at (Y/N) at the other side of the yet. She hadn't slept at all, and I knew she had to rest.

- "Thank you, Spencer. I'll be in Virginia tomorrow. I'm visiting Phoenix in New York this week."

- "Don't worry, Mrs. (Y/L/N), I'll take care of her."

- "You are the sweetest man she could have met,"- she whispered before hanging down, and I couldn't help but wonder if she knew it too.

Apparently, I wasn't hiding my feelings for (Y/N) very well. If JJ could see it, maybe anyone else could. And after what Rossi said, I didn't know if I was busted or not. I didn't know anything. (Y/N) seemed to be as shocked as I pretended to be, so I guess I felt safe. But I knew I had to watch my back now.

Of course, planning to stay with her that night didn't make it easier for me at all.

- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- she argued and sat carefully on her couch- "You don't have to stay here with me."

- "I'm sorry, chipmunk, but you were shot. There is nothing on Earth that's gonna make me leave you alone right now."

- "Fine, then help me take a shower,"- she simply said, and I widened my eyes. I know I even held my breath at that. I stared at her from the kitchen door, on my way to make her a cup of tea.

- "Well, in that case, I, I will do... I will do whatever you need to help you,"- I whispered and made my best not to stutter. She shook her head and sighed.

- "I was bluffing, honey. But I mean it, you don't have to stay and take care of me. I'll be fine. Just go home and rest,"- but all I could do was walk to the kitchen and put on the kettle.

- "I'm not going anywhere, so... how do you feel about that carbonara a la Rossi recipe?"

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you don't cook."

- "I do cook! Do you think I've lived on take-outs and coffee all these years?"

- "Hell yeah!"- she said and chuckled. She was right, though. I wasn't the best or more experienced cooker on Earth. But for her, I could try.

- "I tell you what. What if you take a bath and relax, I'll cook you dinner, and then we'll watch a movie? Anything you pick."

- "Anything?"- she raised an eyebrow and stared at me so sweetly and concentrated, I nearly stopped breathing. I didn't trust myself with an answer, so I just nodded and looked at her. Her cheeks were blushing, and that made me feel better. Clearly, she was relaxing at home. The color was coming back to her after being hurt. That was always a good sign.

- "Even my favorite chick flick?"- (Y/N) bit her lips and caught my full attention with that simple movement. I nodded again, not really thinking what she meant with "chick flicks." All I could think of were her lips and how incredibly soft they looked.

- "Even Pride and Prejudice?"- she added, and I nodded again.

- "It's an essential piece of literature. Jane Austen was an incredible writer,"- my voice was muffled, and her eyes were shining- "Did you know In 1802, in her late 20s, Austen briefly accepted a proposal from Harris Bigg-Wither, the younger brother of two of her close friends? She rescinded it the following day."

- "Yes, neither her nor her sister ever married"- (Y/N) added, and her eyes moved from mine, traveling around the room- "She believed that a woman shouldn't get married if she wasn't in love. She once advised her niece Fanny Knight that "anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection."

Somehow, (Y/N)'s eyes were blurry with sadness all of a sudden. Her words stopped. I was tempted to hold her hands that rested on her lap but stopped myself. I was scared to give too much away, and that she suspected how I felt about her. I didn't want her thinking I was in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I was. I am. And I know I will always love her. But that night on that couch, I was afraid of her rejection and scared she might have stopped being my friend if she ever knew how I really felt about her.

- "Maybe you are right, honey,"- (Y/N) whispered and slowly stood up- "I'll take that bath after all."

- "Watch those stitches"- I quickly stood up too and just nodded, looking at her as she started walking towards her room- "I'll cook dinner meanwhile."

- "Thank you, honey bunny,"- she said and turned around just to cut me a small smile before disappearing into her bedroom.

I made my best effort with dinner. I followed Rossi's instructions to the letter. (Y/N) had a lot of food in her fridge. Unlike me, she actually cooked her own meals. She was right about me and the take-outs. I had never been a great cook, and I trusted my local Thai place with most of my dinners. But that night was different.

Pasta carbonara was pretty good, I must say. (Y/N) opened a bottle of wine, though I told her it was a horrible idea mixing drinking with the pain killers she was prescribed.

- "I am actually not taking them,"- she whispered and took a sip of red.

- "You had a major injure on that shoulder (Y/N)."

- "It's just five stitches, honey. I don't need those pills. I actually didn't even get them,"- she replied. I looked at her in awe, thinking she was way stronger than she even gave herself credit for.

- "In that case, you can have two glasses of wine and extra dessert,"- I stated, and she chuckled.

We ate in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I guess the two of us were pretty tired that night. It had been a long day, a long case, and though neither of us wanted to deal with it, we knew things could have easily gone wrong.

After eating, I cleaned the dishes and prepared a tray with a cup of herbal tea for (Y/N), a coffee for me, and two bowls of ice cream, and we cuddled on the couch to watch Pride and Prejudice. She whispered most of the lines and argued against Darcy for half of the movie. But by the end, she snuggled closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her carefully, trying not to get near her shoulder at all. Her head was resting on my chest, and I could feel her sighing with each word that Darcy spoke.

- "What is it with you and this book?"- I asked her suddenly. She huffed and looked at me with a cut, short smile.

- "I don't know, but I've been obsessing with Darcy and Lizy ever since I first read the story. I guess the classic "fools in love" story is my weakness. How couldn't they see how much they loved each other from day one?"

My mouth fell open, but I didn't say a word. She just smiled and turned to the screen again. That was good. I didn't want her to see how flustered I was.

- "Darcy knew he loved her, but he tried to fall out of love with her, and she was completely blinded by her so-called "hate" towards him to deal with her real feelings."- (Y/N) added- "I know that's not a complex and complete study of the story but in a short version of the whole plot... I guess that's what's so endearing and addictive about it. Everyone has been Darcy or Lizzy."

- "I doubt most people can relate with having four sisters and an obsessive nervous mother who keeps forcing you to get married,"- I joked, and (Y/N) giggled.

- "You'd be surprised, honey,"- she sighed and snuggled closer. My hand played with her hair for a few more minutes until the end of the movie.

- "(Y/N)?"- I whispered when we were already in bed. I wore the pajamas I kept in my go bag and crawled into bed with her as soon as she asked me to sleep with her. Ee had done it before, it wasn't weird, and we were best friends.

There was absolutely nothing friendly with how I felt, though. But I had to put all those feelings in a box and hide them deep inside of me 'cos they were no good for our relationship.

- "What happens, Spencer?"

- "I just wanted to tell you... you scared me today,"- she sighed. We were already hugged, but she snuggled closer and kissed my cheek softly.

- "I'm sorry, Spencer. I'll be more careful, I promise."

It was such a simple promise, and I knew though she meant well, the job was always going to get in the way. Our lives were always on the line working at the BAU. And no matter how much we wanted to take care of ourselves, sometimes things were out of our control.

- "Promise me you'll be careful too,"- she whispered, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head gently.

- "I promise I'll be careful, chipmunk."

- "Will you always come home to me?"- she whispered and sighed, dozing off.

- "Always. I love you so much, (Y/N)"- that last confession fell from my lips before I could even realize what I was saying.

- "I love you too, honey,"- she answered, her voice muffled against my chest.

I stayed still, trying to burn in my memory every second of that moment, 'cos I knew it was going to be one of my most precious memories until my last day.

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 9th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Spencer Reid fanfic #spencer x reader #Criminal Minds Fanfic #Matthew Gray Gubler #Babymetaldoll writes #fluff #angst #Spencer reid fanfiction #DIWK #Series #Criminal Minds rewrite #Derek Morgan #Penelope Garcia #Aaron Hotchner #David Rossi #jeniffer jareau

173 notes · View notes

a-cure-for-writers-block · 4 years

Text

#100 (more) Angst/Argument Prompts

This has been highly requested recently and I had a bit of time whilst I was on holiday, so here we are! 100 more angst/argument prompts~ I’m sorry if it’s a little repetitive of the last one, I hope I didn’t recycle them- anyways, enjoy!

“Don’t touch me, you lost that privilege when you let him into our bed.”

“You just keep acting like everything’s fine! It’s not fine!”

“I hate you, I hate everything you stand for, every fibre of your being.”

“I don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway.”

“Show up here again and you won’t live to see the end of it.”

“You killed her! She was the only person I ever loved and you killed her!”

“There’s not a single reason I can think of for me to let you see her. You may be her father, but I’m her everything.”

“You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”

“I know you hate me, but you should hear yourself. You sound just like him, you sound just like your father.”

“Nothing you do will fix things, no amount of money will turn back time.”

“I wish you’d just leave me alone, I wish I’d never met you.”

“You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that.”

“I wouldn’t hate myself as much as I do now if it weren’t for you.”

“Thank you for ruining my life, I know exactly the kind of person I don’t want to become now.”

“Don’t look at me like you’re sorry. You’re not sorry.”

“You’ll never love me like you loved her. I know that now.”

“Not now, not ever. You’ll never be the person I love.”

“I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to think I knew you.”

“Yell at me, scream until your throat hurts, put a damn bullet in my chest, but you will not touch him.”

“I would rather die than be the person who climbs into bed with you at the end of the night.”

“You lied! You lied again and I fell for it!”

“Everytime you open your mouth I want to push you over the edge of a cliff and I mean that with all my heart.”

“Don’t pretend there’s more than years of pure hatred here.”

“We were never in love, we were simply caught up in a nightmare that felt like a dream.”

“You’ll never forgive me, I know that, but please just pretend you love me. Just until the kids are old enough.”

“Shoot me, I dare you, it’ll make you feel better.”

“And if I die, I swear, I’ll crawl out of my grave just to ruin your life.”

“I promised you a lifetime of misery, do you really think I’m done just yet?”

“You’ll end up dead if you keep that up and it won’t even be at my hands.”

“Hit me, hit me and see what happens to you.”

“Let’s just say that if I saw you bleeding out on my kitchen floor, I’d act like I hadn’t seen you.”

“It wasn’t an accident! It wasn’t and you know it!”

“It was assault, it was you.”

“There’s no one I can hire, no one I can call that will give you a torturous enough death.”

“You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!”

“Anything- anything- but this!”

“There’s nothing I can say to get you to fix what you did, there’s nothing I can do to understand why you did it.”

“You should’ve just killed me, I could’ve just been a nameless body in an abandoned cemetery. You could’ve just set me free.”

“He’s the only person left! He’s the only thing I’ve got, the last good thing in my life!”

“You can’t take her, please! I’ll do anything, I swear!”

“She was nothing to you, was she? Then prove it.”

“Don’t even look at me, everything about you is everything I tried so hard not to be.”

“You’re not someone I’ve ever understood, but I never thought I’d hate you as much as I do at this moment.”

“Wow, you’ve really outdone yourself, I want nothing more than to ruin your life.”

“Jump, I dare you, but will that really make you happy?”

“You sound just like the person I used to love, but you’re not him anymore, are you.”

“I asked for your help, I begged you for it, now do you understand?”

“Don’t romanticise death if you won’t follow through.”

“Hate is a pitiful emotion, but then again, you are a pitiful person.”

“What is stronger than love? Nothing? Then you will simply not win.”

“You could’ve defeated me, broken me, left me as a pile of flesh. What stopped you?”

“I never have been someone to take the moral high ground, blood and broken bones is much simpler, don’t you think?”

“She wasn’t your person to ruin.”

“I had it under control! I had a plan!”

“She’ll bleed out before nightfall and you think we should stay? Are you stupid?”

“Let’s hope he doesn’t remember your face when he wakes up, your eyes always were horribly distinctive.”

“You shouldn’t have come, I don’t want you here.”

“He doesn’t own me! He can’t keep controlling me anymore!”

“I refuse to keep being a pawn in your game, this has to end.”

“If I loved you, would I really have kept you around? Love is a weakness, I don’t have weaknesses.”

“I must admit, it would’ve been easier to get rid of you if you weren’t so beautiful.”

“Nothing will change if you stay here with me! Nothing will ever change!”

“It should’ve been an easy decision to make, but you’ve never made things easy, have you.”

“The worst part was that I saw it coming, I knew you’d hurt me, hurt us, but I still kept you around.”

“I can keep this up for longer than you can stick around for. Cut my hair, change my name, you’ll never find me.”

“What did you want in the beginning? What did you think would happen?”

“You’re not him! You’re not him and that’s the problem!”

“Hire a necromancer so I can tell her how much I hate her guts for leaving me like this.”

“There’s nothing you can do, this is it. This is how it goes.”

“You never let me go, that’s why you’re miserable.”

“I’m not the person at fault, I never was. It’s you, it was always you!”

“Just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight, just for show. I’ll be gone by sunrise.”

“So none of it was real? You didn’t mean any of it?”

“You’re the last person I want to talk to right now. We can’t just put things aside because I’m having a bad night.”

“People talk- people will always talk- and you never listened.”

“The last thing I want is for you to think I’m grateful for what you did back there.”

“I couldn’t think of a worse outcome, unless of course, you had some other way to ruin my day?”

“Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the problem? All these people keep leaving and you keep acting surprised.”

“You betrayed her! You betrayed her trust and look where it got us!”

“I should’ve stayed in San Francisco, I shouldn’t have ever met you.”

“Even after everything, you still won’t admit this was your doing. This was your fault. It always has been.”

“I can’t risk her getting hurt anymore, I can’t put her in danger just to keep you safe!”

“You’ve never been someone I looked up to, I just wished you’d at least acknowledge me.”

“This was never how I wanted things to go.”

“Living is so much harder than dying, are you sure you’re fit for living?”

“I wanted her heart, everything good and pure, but nothing in this world is ever what it seems.”

“You should’ve seen the look on his face- he’s going to destroy you.”

“She’s my daughter, can you really blame me for hating her when she’s just like me?”

“You never should’ve left, it never should’ve been an option.”

“Somehow, whatever you do seems to be the wrong thing. I’m sick of it.”

“Do you actually hate me or is it just the idea of having someone to despise that you enjoy?”

“Nothing you guessed about me was true, I’m nothing like anyone’s ever met before.”

“I’m not the person you thought I was, but neither were you.”

“How can you care for her? You’ve never met her, have you?”

“You’ll never meet again, life in death is like nothing you’ve ever seen.”

“I wish a lot of things, but most of all, I wish you didn’t hate me.”

“These days, I think about you, but you’re never the same person I created in my mind.”

“It could’ve been worse, we could’ve fallen in love.”

“At least I can forget him- he’s easy to forget- but her, I’ll never forget her for as long as I live. And it’s all your fault.”

3K notes · View notes

damn-stark · 3 years

Text

The trouble final pt.

A/N- it's over :( I’m sad that it is, but I’m so thankful for all of you that read it and stuck around to finish with me :)

Warning- ANGST, talks of loss and grief, ptsd, Violence, blood, light fluff

Pairing- Jesse x fem!reader

——

“Give me your arm again,” Ellie mutters after she had cleared the room that had once been filled with enemies part of the same group as those two me she, and you had taken out. “It’s—”

“It’s okay,” you cut her off and pull your arm away before she could grab it again. “It won’t change sizes, or color in the last ten minutes that you checked.”

After finding out that you had gotten bit by the infected that the man taunted you with, Ellie has been careful with you, she’s made sure that you wouldn’t strain yourself, she’s kept you from helping her fight the danger that lingered, as if you were some child.

And you understood why she kept insisting on trying to keep you from harm's way, she was being cautious, she was worried, but that isn’t going to change the outcome of your dooming fate.

“We could try cutting it off,” she insisted again, hoping that this time you’d change your mind.

You shake your head, “no, we don’t have the proper equipment.” You sit up and begin walking out of the broken down corner store. “I’d end up bleeding to death instead. Plus,” you sigh. “We don’t have time. Not if we want to reach Abby.”

Ellie follows behind you slowly, albeit somewhat lagging behind as she comes across good loot to collect. “We?” She quieres, “it’s we now?”

Your gaze drops to the ground, seeing the natural greenery that cracked through the sidewalk and began to take back its natural place. “I told you my reason already. No matter what’s happening, I’m sticking to it.” You feel chills all over your body and when your head lifts and your eyes flicker to her passing you, that’s where you see him again; Jesse. The bullet that shot through his face and took his life. His cold dead eyes were piercing into you, and his body was stuck in place, unable to even move but causing the same effect it always did.

Ellie noticed your wavered attention, followed your line of vision and saw nothing and knew what was happening. But perhaps that was because of the horror in your eyes. Regardless, she didn’t question it, she just walked towards you to break you from your stupor. “It’s not far anymore. We’re almost where the man told us. I see the round building.”

You pull your eyes from the now empty space where Jesse had been to glance back at Ellie and follow right behind her—for the most part it was silent, but as far as your mind, it was loud and booming with different racing thoughts and memories.

——

Ellie’s eyes follow your line of vision to the couple quietly talking amongst themselves in the far end of the room. And at first she didn’t think much of it. Actually she simply ignored it and just thought you might be spacing out, but just as she was going to look away the young girl in front of the tall guy with dark shaggy hair, caught her attention. Ellie did a double take and found herself captive by the girl's looks; her long dark hair styled in a ponytail, the light freckles on her face and her bright, charming smile.

She couldn’t keep herself from asking about her in complete starstricken awe. “Who’s that?”. Albeit her words didn’t register in your mind until she grabbed your shoulder and ripped you from your own awe. “Y/N?!”

You blink and look down at the drink in your hand, thinking she was referring to the guy and smiling softly as you answered. Even if a slow sizzling jealousy did begin to boil in the pit of your stomach because she asked. “That’s Jesse.”

Clueless to the fact that you told her the guy's name, Ellie nodded and slowly turned her head to pick up her drink from the table, unable to keep a smile from tugging on her lips. Her curiosity got the best of her before she could even think of taking a sip from her drink like she had planned to. “Is Jesse…dating someone?”

You glance at Jesse and answer her with bitterness in your tone. “Yeah, he's dating Dina. The girl he’s talking to.”

Ellie snaps her head and takes another look at the couple before looking at you with confusion. “Wait, Jesse is the boy? Or the girl?”

“The boy,” you tell her.

“Oh.” Ellie’s eyebrows furrow deeper and thinks that the name Dina suits the girl a lot better. It was actually a pretty name.

“Wait, why do you ask?” You probe as you shift around to look at her better. “Do you…” you pause and narrow your eyes. “…think Jesse is cute?”

“What?” Ellie scoffs with even more confusion. “No. No,” she shakes her head, “I thought the girl was named Jesse, since when I asked you for her name you said that.”

Oh. It makes sense now.

“Oh,” you breathe out and then smirk when you realize why she asked if Dina was dating anyone. “Do you think Dina is cute?” You sip on your straw and raise your eyebrows.

Ellie’s cheeks turn to a tint pink and she looks away from you to hide her flustered smile. “No. Just curious.” She turns her head and smirks when she looks at you. “Do you like Jesse?”

You sigh and look at your hands on the table. “Yeah, but well he’s dating Dina, so I can’t really tell him how I feel can I?” Your heart sinks to your stomach, but you try to ignore the gloomy feelings. “Regardless, he’s a good friend, so I’m better off not telling him anything at all.”

Ellie’s eyes wander to Dina for a brief moment and just like you, a heaviness sets over her heart because of the girl that she can’t try and pursue. You both were stuck looking from afar like a couple of love-struck idiots.

But maybe it was better off that way. Looking from afar.

Neither of you would get hurt that way. If only it was that easy to keep looking and not desire their love in return. Especially when you have to face them everyday of your life, around the same four walls that kept you secure from the rotting, walking corpses…and other humans.

Why couldn’t things be simpler?

When you steal a glance from Jesse that’s all you asked for. Which was such a funny thing to ask with the world as it was. It made you wonder if people back then asked the same thing?

How’s having clickers for simple?

Nonetheless that’s what you wanted right now. A simple life…or really simple feelings, platonic feelings for the guy you’ve known for too many years now. It would make those thoughts—dreams you had of an intended life with him nonexistent. It would make being around him feel like nothing.

Why couldn't life be so simple—why couldn’t your feelings be simple?

——

“Through here,” Ellie waves you over into a dimly lit hall that was crowded with a bunch of old broken furniture and worn down junk that covered wooden doors, leaving an open path towards a darker-lit corridor. Making this part of the invasion the simplest part of sneaking inside.

“Sneaking inside this building was much harder than actually getting in the property,” you snap in a sharp whisper as you turn off your flashlight and continue behind Ellie, seeing her peek over her shoulder to steal a quick glance as she remarks on your comment.

“Tell me about it.” She scoffs and stops in front of the only unblocked door after turning the corner. “Would’ve been much easier if you stuck behind like I asked.”

You narrow your gaze on her and stop to put your hand on your hip and retort. “You know I’m not a child. Maria doesn’t even treat me this way. I can take care of myself.”

“You’ve never been bit, that's why.” Ellie snaps, her back still facing you and her head turning to face the door after she caught what came out of her mouth.

When her words hit you too, you drop the sass and exhale deeply, letting a sorrow filled frown replace the curled lip. Instead of responding to her with something you know would weigh down on the already heavy subject, you just smoothly change it to the matters in front of her. “Are you going in first, or should I?”

Ellie rolls her shoulders back and straightens her posture to slowly push the door forward, and reveal another poorly lit, dirty room. This time however, whispers came from beyond the shadows of the room, making Ellie put her hand out, signaling you to wait as she carefully snuck inside with her revolver in hand.

Not like you listened albeit, because once she had taken a few steps inside you followed behind her with your hand around your weapon. However once you stepped inside the room your eyes instantly fell on the cell filled with people all poorly taken care of, people they called their prisoners and proved that letter you found about an escapee right. The sight shook you to your core and froze you just under the doorway, that hesitance causing you to miss the woman who jumped out from behind the door and attacked Ellie with a bat like some crazy person.

Of course, Ellie reacted quickly and managed to jerk back, grabbing a hold of the bat and shoving the woman to the wall by pressing the wooden weapon against her throat. But since Ellie was wounded, and weak from lack of food, the woman overpowered her, caught her off guard, and kicked her injured side to then push her to the floor when Ellie was hit with that throbbing and blinding pain.

The woman thought she was going to win, but she hadn’t seen you when she just abruptly attacked without a plan, leaving you with the perfect chance to sprint forward and grab the side of her head, completely startling her. She tried to rip your hands off, but you punctured your thumb into her eye beforehand, causing her to groan out in pain whilst you lifted your leg to kick her towards the cell where the prisoners got ahold of her instead.

“Ellie,” you instantly called out in worry, letting the people behind the cell overpower their captor and take her out with a hard squeeze to her throat with the same bat she used on Ellie— “Are you okay?” You offer her your hand to help her off the floor, and she takes it without an ounce of hesitance. The moment she stands up though, is when you see that more blood began to leak from her wound. She noticed your worried stare and just covered it with her hand, pulling your eyes up to meet her gaze for a lingering second before she looked at the prisoners. You follow her line of vision and watch the prisoners letting themselves out of the cell and quickly occupying their hands with different guns.

Before the prisoners leave Ellie leaves your side and steps towards them with an obvious question. “Where’s Abby?”

They all glance at each other and before any could answer, a woman points out what you thought you had well hidden. “She’s bit!”

A man beside the woman doesn’t fret to point his rifle at you, triggering Ellie instantly and causing her to point her gun at them as she spat out at the man in a venomous tone. “Don't point that gun at her!”

Seeing the gun in hand pointed at the man, those behind him point their weapon at the both of you and surround you with one single intention in mind. Yet before they could act on it, an older man comes in between all of you. “Hey, hey, hey! Abby tried to escape.”

Ellie’s aim on the man falters, and her glare shifts to the man who continues. “She’s down in the pillars.”

“The pillars?” Ellie presses for clarity.

“Head down to the beach,” the man motions out the door with his head. “You won’t miss it. She’s probably already dead.”

With nothing else to ask, or share, the prisoner, Ellie and you, slowly step away from each other and part your own ways; with the prisoners leaving out the door you just came out of, Ellie and you march out the double doors the man had pointed to. Yet the beach wasn’t outside these doors, it would be much easier if it was, but no, you were welcomed by a dark hall, that was purely lit by the moonlight that peeked through the broken windows on the wall. Still the menacing darkness didn’t scare you away, you both continued down the path that led to a broken pair of doors that led to a brighter room, one that smelled like rotten, and moist wood.

Besides that annoying smell, the old, green covered patio was easy to navigate through, even with its broken floors and disorganized room. But through the silence between your friend and you, the sound of gunshots, and shouting against the new threat that escaped from the cell easily and loudly echoed in your ears, even after you jumped a small ledge and walked between the palm trees that scattered when you finally reached the beach.

However, salt, nor water is what you smelled, instead the stench of blood, and putrid aroma of death tickled your nose, almost causing you to gag. You would have thrown up if it wasn’t for all the people you saw tied to actual pillars on the beach. Most were already dead—all were already dead, most were just left as skeletons.

It was such a horrifying sight, like straight out of a nightmare. You’ve heard of tortures like this from Tommy, from other older people in town who experienced similar situations but you never thought it was real. You could never believe it.

“Ellie,” you murmur in disbelief, your eyes unable to stop glancing at every body tied up to pillars when you pass by them in search of one woman. “We should just—”

“There.” Ellie blurted in what almost sounded like excitement. “She’s there.”

Ellie points to a figure up on a pillar, and that’s when you see her. Abby; She’s a lot skinnier now from the lack of food every person not part of the gang seemed to suffer through, her hair was cut close to her scalp, her clothes were torn and her muscles were almost completely gone, leaving nothing behind but slightly toned arms. She didn’t even look alive, but her raspy voice proved otherwise.

“Help me…please.”

It was shocking hearing her talk, but instead of feeling pity, sadness and an urgency to help her, knowing you could, all you felt was an unknown uncontrollable and blinding anger that invaded your mind and judgment. All the sorrow you felt was for the man she killed, the man you loved. She took him right as you both had gotten the chance to finally discover what it was like to love each other. That anger that you warned Ellie about, the rage and thirst for revenge that you’d seen burning in Tommy’s eyes, now overwhelmed you too. It completely fueled wild and violent, revenge filled thoughts that you once thought vile.

Now you shared what motivated Ellie to leave behind her life on her farm.

“It’s you…” Abby whispers hoarsely after she picks up her head and spots Ellie, leaving you to be almost invisible in her eyes. If it wasn’t because Ellie surprisingly let her down from the pillar you would’ve remained nothing but a shadow. Alas Abby saw your face behind Ellie’s when she managed to stand on her feet, she didn’t recognize you at first, but then you saw the flash in her eyes when the memory faded in.

Albeit she didn’t react any differently, instead Abby simply walked to that boy she had been with before; he looked skinnier now, just as weak as Abby. He’s someone you felt pity for, your fight wasn’t with him, but you still did nothing to help, you stood frozen behind Ellie, shocked that she tied down Abby instead of using her switchblade to finish her off. That state of disbelief only heightened when you both began to follow Abby towards boats.

You sought for answers with a simple look, but Ellie’s expression on her beaten face gave nothing but rage. You almost wanted to end the ache you felt in the fragments of your shattered heart, however right when you raised your trembling gun, there he was. Jesses ghost reappearing. He stopped you from acting on revenge, but fueled an adrenaline you couldn’t act on. Not with how Ellie was holding back after coming all this way. You couldn’t help but wonder out loud.

“Ellie, what are you doing? She's right there.” You come to a stop on the side of a small boat, meeting Ellie’s gaze. “Let’s do it. Let’s kill her.” Your eyes drift behind her shoulder to look at Abby, seeing her seem eager to get out of here with the boy without as much of a question of why you were both here. It’s as if she didn’t care. It pissed you off. It made you eager to just kill her yourself.

And it was due to that eagerness that blinded you that you didn’t see Ellie’s sudden switch with the sight of her blood on her hand. It wasn’t until you heard the water clash with her stride towards Abby. Her voice broke through your ears and made your eyes focus intently on her. “I can’t let you leave.”

You take a step back, intending to walk to her side for aid, but you stop when Abby responds with such nonchalance. “I’m not doing this.”

Those words trigger Ellie, causing her to take those last steps towards Abby to grab her shoulder and her hair to forcefully throw her to the water. Continuing then to kick her side and making Abby groan, but not fight back. She just stayed in the water and simply shook her head, “no. I’m not going to fight you.” Abby looks back at you and shakes her head. “Either of you.”

Again you stand frozen. Her words stung like cold ice against your skin, they just stomped on your already broken heart and broke it to finer pieces within your chest. How could she just decide that after what she did?

Then again….

…no…

Ellie killed Abby's friends. All of them. But it was for Joel….but….Abby was down, she pleaded for mercy even if she didn’t directly say it.

Why is your mind so confused? Why did this hunger for revenge suddenly begin to fade away? Just when it started?

What would’ve Jesse done?

Your eyes fall on your bite from that infected and then you glance at the vision of Jesse. His bloody face reminded you of what you wanted….of what Tommy wanted, even if it wasn’t for Jesse’s death. And you tried to force your anger to be as furious as moments ago.

“Yes, you will.” Ellie seethed, pulling your eyes back to her as she stormed towards Abby's boat and threatened his life with her blade against his throat. Not like he could even fight back, he was too weak to even open his eyes. It should’ve made you protest, but Abby beat you to it.

“He’s not a part of this.”

“You made him a part of this.” Ellie retorted angrily.

Abby stands up and says, “okay, okay,” to give Ellie what she wanted. A fight that would deem one winner, and it was obvious who. Even as Abby charged at Ellie and tackled her to the ground first, you knew in the back of your head Ellie would win.

Even still though, you watched their fight attentively. Maybe you should’ve helped, but this solely felt like Ellie’s fight now. Because again, you couldn’t find it in yourself to act on those feelings.

Nonetheless when your eyes fell on Abby's boat whilst Ellie swung her blade and fought her, Jesse’s haunting ghost made you think of taking what Abby loved the most. The kid—he was there, you could slip by them now that Ellie had forced Abby to the ground with a harsh jab on her shoulder. Abby wouldn't be able to stop you until it was too late, she’d only see his dead body just like how you saw Jesse when you ran out of the theater. She’d suffer the same way, she’d stay on the ground in shock and broken hearted, it would be good revenge to finally stop seeing Jesse’s dead body haunt you.

But you didn’t want to—your eyes return to Ellie and Abby fighting to watch neither of them get the upper hand. Ellie managed to stab her blade through Abby's shoulder when they were on the ground, but Abby reacted quickly and kicked Ellie off her, only continuing the fight, this time with no weapons, just their fists. It left the kid open.

Even if you didn’t want to, you walked past the boat and slowly walked towards the boy. You didn’t stop until you were beside it and overlooking the unconscious boy. And just like you had predicted Abby didn’t stop you, she couldn’t because she didn’t know you were here now, Ellie knocking her to the ground kept her distracted. This was your chance.

You lift your own knife and move your hand towards the boy's throat, the tip of your blade hovers inches over his skin; one more inch and the blade would puncture his skin and flesh, he'd be dead, Abby would have no one. She’d feel your heartbreak. Jesse would be avenged….

The knife in your hand begins to tremble, and hesitation pulls back your hand. Your heart aches every day, the nightmares never stop, continuing everyday felt like being stabbed multiple times all over your body, but it wouldn’t change anything, killing the boy wouldn't stop the vision of Jesse’s dead body from reappearing. Jesse would know that. He knew that when it came down to it he’d have to do bad things, but he was also merciful when he could. He wouldn’t do this, not to the kid. You can’t either. You can’t kill Abby either, it wasn’t right.

These couldn’t be your last moments either. Which is why instead of falling prey to revenge, the knife in your hold falls from your grip and your body crashes down into the water. However instead of crying, you find yourself being more worried over Ellie. You couldn’t lose her….even if she was going to lose you, you couldn’t fathom the thought of losing her now. You needed her in your last moments.

However when you look at her, she’s proving you right, she’s on top of Abby and keeping her underwater to keep her from breathing. She’s moments away from winning, from finally killing Joel’s killer and completing her revenge. The thought of stopping her popped in your head, but this was her fight, she needed to make her decision. Even as you saw Abby struggle to resurface to breathe in air, you couldn’t stop Ellie now.

You watched the rain in her eyes, watched tears and ocean water glisten on her face, cleaning the blood off her cheeks. You waited to be there for her when she was done. But the moment never came, Ellie let go of Abby, letting her resurface to gulp in a breath of fresh air whilst she fell down. She chose to let Abby go and the girl took that chance after she recuperated enough to move. You let her go too. She never paid any attention to you until she glanced at you once because you were beside her boat, but that was it, she left with no hesitation after.

Leaving Ellie panting, and crying as she stayed sitting in the water. You let her have time alone for a little, but it was through the silence after Abby and the boy left that it all set in. The ultimate and unavoidable truth. You’ve tried to ignore any symptom that you could feel due to the bite, which didn’t turn out to be hard since well so far all you’ve felt is a slight annoying dull pain. Any other effect had yet to set in, but the wait was the most irritating side effect.

That and noticing that Ellie couldn’t even face you; due to her processing what just happened, what caused her to let Abby go, and that looking at you without having the mission of finding Abby as a distraction meant that she has to face the harsh truth of your death. She had to face the fact that she was losing someone else, she was going to lose someone else to the infection she couldn’t prevent. She was going to be alone.

“Ellie,” you mutter as your footsteps crash on the water while you slowly step towards her. “It was a good thing that you let them go.”

Said girl sits down in the water, letting the small waves crash into her legs, and feeling the breeze blow past her hair and wet her face, mixing her tears with water droplets.

“You’re right…” she breathes out, dropping her head to look at the cold dark blue water. “Joel wouldn’t have wanted it. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”

Your lips tug to a smile and you sit beside her, the feeling of your body brushing against hers making her lift her gaze to steal a quick glance. “Why didn’t you stop her? You seemed eager at the end.”

You sigh and dip your fingers in the water to gently sway them back and forth while you answer her. “Realization set just like with you. The nightmares won’t go away anytime soon, and killing her wouldn’t have solved anything either.”

“Nightmares?” Ellie scoffs, finally daring to meet your gaze. “You're still worried about that.”

You laugh softly and glance at the bite on your arm before looking back at her again. “It’s weird, I thought it would hurt, but all I feel is annoyed. No fever, no pain. Nothing.”

Ellie straightens up and her eyebrows furrow as her eyes fixate on your bite mark. “Nothing?” She repeats and the back of her hand presses on your forehead. “Hmm. Maybe we’ll both live with that burden then. Would be nice.”

You offer her a soft smile and grab her hand to interlace it with yours. Feeling hope piece together the fragments of your broken heart. “I guess we’ll have to wait then, to see what the future holds.”

Ellie’s eyes shift to the grey clouded sky, while her hold secures around your hand in hopes that by doing so you wouldn’t leave her. She hoped that her words would be the manifestation needed to keep you alive and keep you from leaving. She couldn’t lose someone else. She couldn’t bear feeling that pain all over again. “Well, I hope you do live.”

A grin spreads on your lips, and your head falls on her shoulder as your own eyes drift to watch the clouded horizon in a peaceful, waiting silence.

Tagged- @protect-lev, @expecto-nox @vintage-and-hypnotic , @kokomaesadie , @0j-b0, @itsyellow , @minheoly @traceylader

#the last of us #the trouble #jesse tlou fanfiction #tlou jesse x reader #jesse fanfiction #jesse x reader #jesse imagines #jesse imagine #Jesse tlou #the last of us part 2 #the last of us imagines #the last of us imagine #ellie last of us #tlou Ellie #Ellie Williams #Abby tlou #Levi tlou #tlou imagine #tlou imagines

143 notes · View notes

keeper0fthestars · 3 years

Text

recrudescent (i’m right here)

Din Djarin / gn!reader

1.6k words

warnings: angst / comfort, repressed memories, heartache, nightmares (and the panic that follows), mentions of death / violence

summary: ‘the past beats inside me like a heartbeat’ - John Banville

a/n: please heed the warnings and do not read if you are affected by things like this.

the prompt for this came from this post

The explosion knocks you back into the dirt. Smoke and ash fills your mouth. Sticks to the back of your throat, stings your eyes. You will yourself to sit up because this time, you tell yourself, it will be different. The ringing in your ears makes you lightheaded, the heat of the billowing smoke gets in the way, but you don’t need to see, you know these winding streets in the dead of night.

You run.

You don’t have to tell your feet which way to go; you know all the shortcuts, avoiding the white helmets with their flamethrowers. You’ll beat them this time. Your heart pounds twice for every stride you take in the packed dirt, the smoke gradually thins the farther away you get, and they don’t even see when you dart across the main path. Climbing the wall, the familiar chase stars and you’re ready for it. Narrowly missing the jump over the ledge, climbing up to the next roof, higher and higher, until your boot catches on a loose edge. You hear rubble fall, knocking the helmet down with a grunt but you can’t look back, there is nothing there for you anymore. There will be nothing ahead of you either if you don’t get there soon. And warn them.

The burn in your muscles doesn’t come as soon as it did before, but you’re older now, stronger. You’re through the trees by the time it hits and like last time, you push even harder. They’ll still be there. They have to be. You will get there in time. You’re older now, faster. You’re getting close, the taste of hot coals once again thick in your mouth and you try to call their names, to warn them, but your voice doesn’t carry. It’s dry as parchment, singed and black.

The house glows orange from inside and no one is here. No no no. Not again. Where are they? There is nothing left of your mother’s curtains in the summer kitchen. The blue enamel flowers on her pottery blister in the heat and no longer match the embroidery on her linens. You smell the scorch of thornwood as the flames lick along the beds and doorframes.

Eyes burning with smoke, the rubble bites into your knees. They’re gone. Everything is gone. Where are they. Clawing at the gravel, every breath scorches against a raw throat, you wish the flames would swallow you too. The grief that comes is like an old friend.

From some hazy distant place, you hear your name; a gloved hand touches your knee.

In a rush of fear, you don’t look to see who it is, your instinct is to kick it away but your feet feel like they’re stuck in mud and it takes an enormous effort to get away from the looming figure beside you. Wiping the sweat and soot from your eyes, you try to focus on the reflective round head beside you. He’s speaking but you can’t understand the words. Something familiar tugs at your memory but you don’t trust your memory because familiar means grief and heartache and misery. And familiar doesn’t matter anymore because you couldn’t save them.

You never will.

The hand won’t let go; no matter how hard you push on it. Please. Where are they?

In your desperation, your foot finally connects with a plank of metal so hard you cry out, sitting up, scrambling away.

“You’re okay,” he says again, his hand still on your knee, “it’s just a dream.”

He’d been startled out of a light sleep; the sound of choked sobs echoed from the other side of the hull, filled his stomach with panic. Detecting your frantic pulse and he’d scrambled over to you. A broken name falls from your mouth, a name he doesn’t recognize, sounding slurred like you were underwater. Under the soft light from the panel over your head, sweat and terror shine on your forehead.

“Hey,” his soft voice blankets your senses with calm. “It’s me. You’re okay… you’re okay.”

The voice tugs at your brain again, the blurry figure is still here and your body reacts to his soothing words. You stop struggling and sit up against the wall, hugging your knees to your chest.

The sharp pierce of your own fingernails digging into your palms brings you back to the Crest.

Just a dream.

Face wet, your lungs are no longer burning from ash and dust, they burn from exertion. In your exhaustion, you make out the beskar helmet through wet eyelashes. It was just like all the other ones. The same explosion, the same suffocating panic, the same fire.

Cool air fills your head as you struggle to catch your breath but your muscles droop like lead, you start shaking.

But that’s ok because he’s holding you up.

With his broad chest and solid arms. You weren’t alone.

No matter how many times you relive it, you would never get home before they were taken away. You’d never get a chance to say goodbye. You turn your face against the fabric of his worn shirt to quell the hurt in your chest but the piercing shock of fresh grief claws at your throat, your mouth starts trembling unable to stop.

“I tried but I couldn’t get there.” They were innocent. “Why couldn’t they take me instead.”

Stomach heaving, the agony of memories spills down your cheeks. It’s the kind of sobbing that leaves your heart ragged and hollow, as if you were a child, bawling on your knees. You cried for all the things you’d never get to tell them, you cried for the years you didn’t dare let yourself grieve, for the years you’d spent fending for yourself.

There are no words in Basic that comfort demons like this. His other language snags inside his mouth and he almost whispers the mantra he knows for protection. Does it still count if he didn’t say it aloud?

Taking your trembling hand, he places it flat on his chest, holds it there. He feels your fingers curl into his shirt over his heart, clinging to the fabric. Your head sags against his shoulder.

“Hear my heartbeat?” the gentle vibration of his voice curls in your chest. “Just… focus on that.”

He knows dreams like this. He wonders what else you’ve kept hidden for so long. You’d not had a nightmare like this the whole time you’d been flying with him, he would have known if you did. Vicious memories can resurface without warning, but he still finds himself wondering what brought this on.

Your day together had been uneventful, nothing out of the ordinary: a stop for supplies and fuel, a quiet couple of hours at one of the markets. The only uncharacteristic thing that stood out in his memory was when something had caught your attention that afternoon and you’d backtracked down the alley, your eyes on one vendor in particular. Like a pinhole, his memory zeroed in on that little cart where it stood behind everyone else on the corner. Two young girls were selling soft-crusted loaves and baked sweets and you’d dropped enough credits on their table to pay a small army. He’d noticed the looks of awe on their dirty faces when they saw the pile of credits, way more than what the Quinn cakes and spiced rolls were worth. He didn’t understand why you’d decided to purchase the contents of the entire cart, but he’d noticed the tender longing beneath your smile when you crouched down and spoke to the smallest one, pulling wrapped candies out of your bag and giving them to her.

When you’d rejoined him, arms full on the way back to the crest, you spoke before he could frame a question. There’s a children’s shelter on the other side of town, and I’m going to bring it all there tomorrow before we leave

Something bites painfully into his heart, swallows his stomach whole. His shirt is tear-stained and soaked and your breathing has evened out but he has no intention of letting go of you anytime soon.

He wonders if you were that young. When you got left behind. He wonders if you were as young as he was, by the time everyone you’d loved was dead and gone.

He pulls you closer to his chest, carefully tucks your forehead against the soft fabric of his cowl under the edge of his helmet. You don’t object to the closeness, exhaustion quickly takes over and you curl yourself into him.

“I’m sorry,” your voice scratches, a lonely sob still hitching in your throat, “didn’t mean to wake you-.”

His chest expands under your head; a deep breath crackles through his helmet. The soft brush of his palm on the back of your head, he murmurs. “Don’t be sorry.”

Maybe you won’t remember this in the morning, he thinks, as he reaches over your head and taps off the light panel. His visor adjusts to the blanket of darkness and the faint glow of emergency lights. Eventually, he breathes a sigh of relief when his newly emitted readings finally tell him you’re in a deep sleep.

You’re oblivious to how he carefully shifts himself and lifts your knees, bringing your limp body down on the cot with him, giving you a soft place to sleep, cocooned inside his arms.

In your sleep, you’re unaware of how you turn towards his touch when the backs of his fingers trace feather-light along your cheekbone. You don’t know that his breath catches in his throat when a soft contented hum slips from your lips. You don’t hear the whisper of his voice from the modulator. ‘I'm right here.’

The soft home-y scent of fresh pastries fills his nose, but that was because the lot of it was currently piled in the Crest’s galley.

He’d go back there tomorrow and buy more.

Thank you for reading!

if you’d like to be added or removed from my tag lists, my form is here :)

keeper0fthestars masterlist || ao3

taglist: @opheliaelysia @hiscyarika @pedropascalito @sistasarah-sallysaidso @cinewhore @oldstuffnewstuff @oloreaa @fromthedeskoftheraven @punkpascal @b0n-chann @mstgsmy @wickedfrsgrl @the-wishmonger @ksgeekgirl @givemethatgold @princessxkenobi @getinthepoolkeanu @paintballkid711 @randomness501 @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @dearspacepirates @jaime1110 @chews-erotically @this-cat-is-dea @findhimfives @seawhisperer @fleetwoodmac-tshirt @thirstworldproblemss @stardust-galaxies @filthybookworm @emilykjh @beskar-tano @artsymaddie @littlemissthistle @fruitsaladtree @over300books @leonieb @lucifer- @recklesswit @rosiefridayrogersunday @lunarthoughts @astroboots @buckstaposition @ofstardustandbone @moonlight-prose @magpie-to-the-morning @loversandantiheroes @pedro-pastel @agirllovespancakes @jitterbugs927 @thewayofthemandalorian @yoditorian @blogbykate @veracruz-djarin @bayne @lialialia2

din djarin tags: @tiffdawg @pedropascallion @fangirlingss @lutallicaa @myguiltypleasures21 @nikey-no-likey @tibbietibbs @sherala007 @neekid @lola766 @reader-without-a-story @mothandpidgeon @miceenscene @notabotiswear

if you’ve asked to be tagged and I’ve missed you, please let me know!

#din djarin x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian #tw: panic #tw: nightmares #din djarin #i just really want to be held after a nightmare #fic: i'm right here #*mine: writing #i've had to reformat this so many times i'm not sure if anything will stick

280 notes · View notes

bakugohoex · 3 years

Note

Hi babe! Would you mind if I request something for time skip kuroo now please? Idm how you go about it, would love some nsfw content with fluff as well, or whatever is easiest for you 💕 (I can’t deal with angst right now because I’m big sad after reading a fic, my heart can’t take it lol) thank youuuuu and don’t stress too much 💕

“you’re going to take me all”

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x female reader

cw: fluff, nsfw (male masturbation, underwear stealing, finger sucking, nipple play, headboard grabbing, female receiving oral, voyeurism (i think), protected sex)

word count: 2900+

a/n: hey baby, i know you sent the request in today but i was in a kuroo mood so here you are and hopefully you like the nsfw and fluff, but hopefully you liked it my lovely

summary: in which you catch kuroo jerking off to your underwear, both realising your crushes are mutual, you find yourself under him being fucked

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Kuroo’s eyes fell to the laundry basket, it had been a common occurrence for him to grab your basket filled with dirty clothes and stuff them with his own. He always separated the clothes, remembering the last time you scolded him for putting his red hoodie in with the white clothes. His eyes skimmed back to the clothes in his hands, he had begun separating them, the apartment having its own washing machine which both of you were very much grateful for.

He stared at the clothes, you always did have such pretty clothes, the lace and mesh of some shirts, the tight and loose pairs of jeans that adorned your ass perfectly each time. Then there was the stuff that he had never had the opportunity to see you wear, the lacy bra that he knew you’d hand wash as he put them on the side. He liked how delicate they looked, the sweet innocent bow which would rest between your sculpted breasts.

He had caught a glimpse of them when you wore dresses for nights out or dinner with friends, but the way his mouth salivated at the image of you in the bra between his fingers made him groan in sexual frustration. His hands moved to the last pieces of your clothing, your underwear.

The mixed and matched types between his finger, the cotton texture grazing his knuckles, he could imagine it adorn your ass, cupping at it, he could see how the material would stretch across your body. The little pattern of kittens that would curve into your cheeks, he felt so lustful at the image but worse of all he felt disgusted to be thinking these thoughts.

It wasn’t supposed to be a common thing, but every week whenever Friday night hit, he was able to come off work early. He would always do the laundry, the excitement that came from grabbing the basket filled with your smell made him mind go wild. He’d stay in front of the washing machine, your clothes in his hand as he examined each one, wanting to see something from it. He didn’t know what it was, but the urge that he had every week waiting for ten minutes with your clothes brought him a sadistic joy.

Moving onto the next pair of underwear, he felt the nimble material between his fingers continuing on with the next 6 pairs. Until he reached the last pair, the one you had taken off this morning and chucked at the top of the pile. The cotton red underwear with a lace band, had been on you only a couple hours ago intoxicated him. He moved his fingers from the band of your underwear to the base of it, he loved the last pair of underwear each week.

There was always a little surprise for him within the bottom. The slick that rested across the damp underwear, craving to touch it and bring it to his fingers. You had been telling him about how one underwear each week for the past month had been going missing. He had played it off as the washing machine, but he knew you had gotten suspicious, one last time. This was the last time he’d take the slick filled underwear; this would be the last time. He knew where your underwear truly was, in a rubbish yard somewhere. Every Friday night if you both hadn’t decided to go out, he’d sit in bed, cock pumping in and out until he cummed in your underwear.

Kuroo knew even if he wanted to, this wouldn’t be the last time. He stuffed the underwear into his pocket, already feeling himself get turned on before he chucked his clothes inside and started the washing machine. He saw the clock on top of the kitchen counter, knowing you’d be home any second. It was disgusting what he was doing, he knew it was, masturbating over his roommate, his friend since high school. The sound of the door creaking open, your hand at your ear with your phone resting between the two as you spoke out loud.

You rubbed your eyes, kicking the heels to the side as you gave a small smile to Kuroo before speaking on the other end. “I know, I said I would come and visit but work has been an ass lately.” Kuroo mouthed who it was as you rested the phone on your shoulder mouthing Yaku’s name. Kuroo gave a sign leaving you to the conversation, he stayed at the door towards both your rooms. Staring at how you leaned against the marble island, your ass stretching the skirt material.

Taking a deep breathe he left you, knowing he’d be unable to handle seeing you look so goddamn gorgeous. He grabbed the underwear from his pocket, the lingering smell of your sex across it. He hated how one piece of clothing intoxicated his mind, he never got himself off when you were awake. But the want of being caught by you made him lay sprawled on his bed, he left his shirt on, joggers and boxers moved to his ankles. His head on the pillows that rested upright, he took another sharp breath.

Seeing his hardened cock between his hands, he moved your wet underwear on his cock, gliding it up and down. He needed to be quick, he knew once you finished your call with Yaku, and got changed. You’d come knocking asking if he wanted to share dinner tonight, he always loved when you’d come for him. It felt domestic without the relationship label, as much as he had been crushing on you since your first year together. He had never gotten the nerve to ask you out and now all you saw in him was a friend, a good unfuckable friend.

“Y/n...fuck.” He groaned lowly, continuing to move up and down his hard cock, the precum soaking through your underwear. “F...fuck.”

He imagined how pretty you’d look in nothing except the underwear, how you’d kneel in front of him, hands wrapping around his cock before you licked from the base up to his blushed tip. He gave another groan imagining the innocent eyes you’d have, the way you’d mewl and whimper whilst he stuffed your mouth with his cock. He could see the tears fall, “o...oh….god”, how your lip would tremble as you’d take him further down your pretty little throat.

He continued pumping harder, regulating each pump with his breathing, he closed his eyes, messy black hair sticking to his forehead. He regretted not taking his shirt off, the room beginning to warm up, you had probably put the temperature up wanting to not wear a full sleeved shirt. He could imagine how your chest sat in the tight grey shirt you owned, his mouth watered at the thought, continuing to stretch the underwear across his cock.

“Y/n...please.” He moaned a lot more loudly than he probably should have, but he stopped caring about if you heard. Closing his eyes he wanted you to hear, wanted you to find him disgustingly ruining your underwear. He went faster, imagining how you’d roll your eyes to the back of your hand as you deepthroated him. Every action bringing your scent and slick on his own cock before he felt the hot liquid gush out of his cock right into the underwear. “Y/n.” He belted out as he had let his cum be used to continue his pumping, your underwear soaked with his white gush engrained in it. He wanted a lot from you, but most of all wanted was you to wear his cum filled underwear. Wanted to have your cunt filled with cum, wanted you to have his cum drip down onto your…

“Tetsu.” His eyes shot open; he saw how you stood at the door. Eyes widened and face flushed at what you had said. “I...I’m sorry, I heard my name.” You tried to avert your eyes from his cock, the way he had already cum onto some fabric and was trying to cum again.

“I didn’t.” He whispered but you both just stared at each other, he didn’t know what to do. He had wanted to get caught, but seeing you in the tight grey shirt, the joggers that hugged you tightly. He licked his lips, hand covered in his cum as he dropped your soaking underwear onto his bed. “It’s not what it looks like.”

You averted his eyes looking to the side as you continued, “it’s fine, it’s normal, we all do it.”

“We all do it?” He repeated wanting to hear about your own masturbation but knew you’d never confess to it.

“Yeah, I should’ve knocked, I'm s…” That’s when you saw it, the red underwear you had worn this morning. The familiar zigzag pattern that went across it was now covered in a white liquid. Kuroo had realised where your eyes had diverted, how you moved into his room without a hesitance, and ignored the 6-foot 3 man that adorned the bed. You moved past him, he had put his joggers back up, but you had already seen it all. Staring at the underwear, you picked it up without any hesitance, “you’ve been taking my underwear.”

It wasn't a question but a comment, you looked at him, wide beady eyes waiting for a reply, “I...I didn’t mean too, I l…love you okay? And you don’t love me back I understand if you hate me, if you want to move out, but I thought if I couldn’t have you, I could have this. I promise it…”

“Kuroo shut up.” You said staring directly at him, making him look at you in surprise. “I don’t care about the underwear; you should’ve just told me.”

“I’m sorr…”

“Stop fucking apologising, Kuroo I’ve been in love with you since we were 16, fucking hell, you can take all my underwear if it means we could be together.” You had confessed after his own confession, his eyes widened, he had wiped his cum filled fingers onto his joggers. He stared at you before grabbing your face and kissing you with an urgency. You dropped your underwear to the side, knowing it would go in the bin after this all.

He moved you onto the bed, pushing you onto the pillow he had just been on, moving his mouth from your lips down to your neck. “You've been thinking of me at night, baby, is that why your underwear is always soaking baby, you getting wet for me.” He groaned his hand moving under your tight shirt to grab your chest, his fingers rolling your nipple as he pinched at it to hear you moan a response.

“Ye...yes sir, I think about y...ou.”

Kuroo took your shirt off, he had imagined you underneath him. So pure and valuable to him, his eyes looking down at you, a predator ready to eat his prey. His hand continued to rub against your body. “Tell me what you think about.” He whispers into your ear, letting his tongue lick across your neck.

“I think...think about you eating me o...out, your hand around my neck as...as your tongue is inside of me.” You groaned out through his kisses and toying with your nipples.

He moves to meet your gaze, giving a haste kiss before his mouth lingered on top of your own, “want me to eat you out? Go on, tell me you want me too.” He teased lifting his shirt up to get rid of the constricting fabric. His chest and body on show for you as you almost swooned at the man. “Tell me, doll.”

He moved his mouth down your neck, undoing your bra as he swirled his tongue across your nipples, one hand always cupping the other as he worked his tongue to suck and lick at the bud. “I want yo...you to eat me out.” You breathed out heavily waiting to see his next move, he grinned at you. Hands moving to undo your joggers as he saw the pair of pink underwear he had washed last week. The bunnies stretching across your cunt and ass, his mouth felt hungry, he wanted his mouth to divulge into your warm cunt.

“Such a pretty little thing.” He moaned as soon as he had moved your underwear away, his cock hardening through his joggers as he slapped your clit. It made you yelp out a moan and heavy breath as he watched his finger slide up and down your wet clit. “Already so wet for me, naughty girl.”

He sucked his fingers of your slick before moving his mouth down to your cunt, he licked your clit, his hand moving to your breast as his other put one of your legs on his shoulder giving him more access. “Tetsu.” You moaned his nickname, it sent a shiver down his spine, the name you had been calling him for years now had become erotic, seductive even. He groaned before diving his tongue into your warm cunt. He tasted the slick as he felt you arch your back, his eyes looking at your heavy chest.

His fingers nimbly playing with your nipples, he knew you wanted his tongue to go further inside, wanted to feel his tongue glide and strip away all your slick. “Patience baby.” He complied his hot breath fanning your clit before he went back inside your cunt, his tongue easily gilded inside. Your weak moans at how you craved more, wanted to feel his tongue further.

He had complied to your moans, feeling how you gazed upwards, hand in his ear almost pushing him into your cunt. “Plea...please Tetsu, cu...cum.” You were breathless in a matter of seconds and at the sound of you asking to cum, Kuroo came away from your cunt.

“I’m not letting you cum from my tongue.” He mumbled barely audible; your hand tried to reach for his head to go back to your cunt. But was met with nothing, instead you looked up watching him take his joggers off, rolling a condom across his cock. You drooled at the sight of his body, how perfect he looked, the thick cock ready to push you to your limits made you lick your lips. “You’re going to take me all.”

It was no secret Kuroo was packing, the group chats were Bokuto and Kuroo would argue over who had the biggest cock but were too embarrassed to actually show each other in fear one of them was lying. It had led the group chat into having been made to make the guess themselves and it was how Kenma had let it spill that Kuroo was well over 6 inches. You never believed it but seeing it upfront Kenma had underexaggerated heavily.

He moved towards you, capturing your body between his arms as he stayed on top looking over at you, “I really do love you.” He whispers, kissing your jaw, he heard you moan an ‘I love you’ back before aligning his cock right to your cunt.

The way he eased himself inside of you, tightening around his cock, “you’re doing so well baby.” He spoke as he eased himself in and began thrusting inside you.

“F...faster.” You mumbled as your hands moved to his back, nails scratching across his back as your mouth kissed his shoulder and neck. Your drool and saliva falling down his shoulder.

He moved faster, going deeper inside of you, before one of his hands moved to the headboard. He steadied himself with it as he got into a rhythm with it, he looked down at you, the way your legs had wrapped around his waist and hands held his biceps. How could he not fall in love with you, he couldn’t with just how pretty you looked under him. His pretty little mess.

Moans filled the room, the headboard feeling weak under his strong grip, he kept you trapped as he heard you moan and groan some more. “Pl...please…fuck.” Your eyes moved to the back of your head as you arched yourself further into him, wanting him to hit the back of your cunt.

He was reaching there, every thrust getting deeper and further into you. He moved his hand from the headboard, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him. You started before he kissed you again, much softer than the first kiss. It was passionate and filled with love and warmth, he continued to thrust, and you could feel the coil build-up of cum ready to splurge right on his cock. “I’m...going to cum.”

“Cum with me baby.” He spoke before going back to kiss you, hand moving your jaw in sync as his thrusts quickened, the pace being much faster than what it had been when you both began. He moved quicker before hearing you moan his name, it echoing throughout the apartment.

“Tetsu.” The white liquid gushed from your cunt and seeped out onto his bed, he moaned continuing to thrust through the liquid.

He watched how your hands moved to his chest, legs still wrapped around his waist letting him continue to thrust until he cummed for the second time tonight, “fuck baby.”

He looked down at you, arms around you as he stayed on top. He didn't expect your next action, your hands wrapping around him, your head moving to his shoulder as you hugged. “I love you so much Tetsu.” It was a tired mumble as you sticked onto him, sweat and sex lingering in the air.

He gave a soft chuckle, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing the side of your neck before speaking the same words. “I love you too, Y/n.”

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @crystal-lilac @dai-tsukki-desu @fandomsinthegalaxies @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann @zlatanakermann @c0urtn3y @bakuhoesworld

368 notes · View notes

angstsfordays · 3 years

Text

Beautiful Pain (1)

Chapter One- A post-Blip world

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-blip world.

Chapter synopsis: Post-Blip, you find yourself more alone than ever as old friends are forever gone. You and Bucky struggle with finding life's purpose while trying to move on.

Warnings: Angst. A lot of guilt and self-blaming. Spoiler for ep 1 if you haven't seen it!

Word count: 2.4k

Notes: Here's the first chapter of the series! Check out the prologue if you have not done so! It gives you an insight into the OC's background and history with Bucky before TFATWS.

Hope you enjoy this read!

Opening up a tag list for the first time since I have gotten a request! Message or comment to let me know!

Leave a like, reblog or comment to let me know what you think! 🥰

Previous: Prologue | Next: Chapter Two |

-------------------------//---------------------------

Present-day

Bucky felt his heart stopped for a moment when he realised what he was about to do to the terrified man from his dreams. Before he could imagine the next scene, his eyes flew wide open and he immediately sat up.

Assessing his surroundings to see that the television was still on, he realised he was home and have woken up from a nightmare. Even though Hydra’s brainwashing has been removed, the memories from his dark past continued to plague him.

The summer blanket you got for him pooled around his waist, his right hand reached out to give it a soft squeeze. The soft texture of the fabric comforted him emotionally as he sat on the cold hard floor. As he regained steady breathing, he looked around to see that it was still the early hours of the night.

He reached out for his flip phone- the one you couldn’t believe he insisted to buy over a regular smartphone. Pressing the buttons, he went to his inbox to see an unread message from you. Bucky contemplated opening it but decided to continue when he decided he wanted to hear from you.

Ever since the blip occurred, the days and weeks seemed to be a blur. Sooner than he realised, six months had just passed like that.

When Steve decided to go back to the past for good, all three of you including Sam were at a sudden loss. Bucky was disappointed but not surprised at Steve’s decision. Sam wanted the best for Steve and showed his support.

However, you were the most affected out of the group. He knew that despite putting a brave front, you were struggling with the loss of your friends in a short span of time. After all, you had spent a good amount of time with the Avengers and had a developed a close relationship with most of the team.

Bucky remembered how you immediately slumped to the floor when you heard the news about Natasha. You were at a loss of words before you started to break down when Steve went to comfort you. You always regarded Natasha as an older sister so her death hit you hard.

He recalled how you held back your tears at Tony’s funeral as you did not want to further bring down the atmosphere when Pepper and Morgan were there. He remembered how Tony was like an annoying but endearing older brother.

When Steve was disappeared from his spot, you didn’t think much of it thinking he would return in a matter of seconds after returning the stones. However, when all three of you looked to see an ageing Steve, you were the first to run up to him. Despite the astonishing expression that painted your face, you reached out to hold Steve’s hands to check if he was real.

Steve’s decision to pass Sam the shield was no surprise to Bucky. Even though Bucky found Sam irritating at times, Bucky knew he was a good man.

While you chose to accept Steve’s choice, it started to sink into your mind that the people once closest to you were gone or getting further. Bucky remembered how you were reluctant to let Steve walk away and Steve let you hold onto him longer.

You and Bucky decided to not let each other be alone that night. You two figured that at least you had each other and you wanted to cherish that.

-------------------—---//----------------------------

Moving forward, Sam had decided to find work with the U.S air force. Sam checked in on Bucky from time to time but Bucky contemplated to respond. After being pardoned for his past, Bucky found himself compensated but he still felt like a prisoner.

He was required to attend court-mandated therapy sessions to make sure he was doing well. You know that it was just a way for the government to have him under surveillance and in check.

He might be the oldest prisoner of war but he was still a super soldier and one with a vibranium arm. Bucky knew he was still deemed as dangerous in their eyes.

When you and Bucky discussed how to move forward, he confided that he wanted to make amends and you showed your support. When he asked about you, you seemed hesitant and a little lost for an answer.

The Avengers are gone. There was no more S.H.I.E.L.D.

Who were you now? What are you fighting for? What is going to be your purpose moving forward? These were all the questions swimming in your head.

You were reluctant to tell Bucky yet but a government official had paid you a visit while you were waiting for Bucky to finish his therapy session.

You were offered a position in a task force to maintain global security in light of a post-blip world. Given your abilities, you were viewed as an invaluable asset. However, you knew better than to take their words for it.

Revealing your hesitance, the official took a harder approach and laid out the truth. You were viewed as a potential threat if you were to not co-operate with the government. You are an unsupervised enhanced individual that is roaming freely. They do not want to allow that in the event that you were to do anything out of your own jurisdiction.

It was the Sokovia Accords all over again, you thought. The official added that you no longer had the Avengers team to fall back on. His words only added to the ache in your heart as you were reminded of your lost friends.

Additionally, he let off that Wanda had been involved in an event that caused the government to review their management of enhanced individuals in the country. Wanda was out of their reach but you were still around. They knew that you have been sticking by Bucky and thus decided to come for you.

Remembering Steve's words from the times of the civil war between the Avengers, you were not able to let yourself trust any words that the official said.

You didn’t want to let yourself be controlled especially by the government whom you knew had hidden agendas that they would not reveal to you. Their words of praises of how you would be a great addition made you felt like you would be nothing more than a tool in their master plans.

“What if I refuse?” You spoke to the official. The official's eyes hardened and his jaw clenched.

“Then Ms L/N, we will have to view you as a threat to national and global security.” You scoffed at his words when you stared dead into his eyes.

“You forgot that I was one of the many to help fight Thanos and brought the world back. This is how you decided to treat me after giving my service to this country? To this world?” You shot back in distaste.

You turned your back on the guy and walked off without giving him a chance to answer.

--------------------------//--------------------------

Hey Buck, I managed to find Wanda and decided to accompany her for a bit. She needs someone now.

I will let you know when I am back.

Don’t miss me too much ok! ;)

Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face at your last sentence. He missed you but he knew that you had things to attend to. He understood how much you valued your remaining friends. Wanda, being one of them.

-----------------—-----//---------------------———

Bucky sighed when he realised that he was not going to get away easy with today’s therapy session. Dr Raynor was really trying to push his buttons and even took out her darn notebook again.

That ticked Bucky off the most and he reluctantly gave in. He began to share about how he crossed another name on his list of amends. Dr Raynor then gave her opinion about how even making amends wasn’t able to help with his nightmares.

Bucky continued to deny that he had any at all but he knew Dr Raynor was not convinced. Glimpsing down briefly with an unconvinced look, Dr Raynor looked back up to Bucky.

“Look. One day, you��re gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you and that they can be trusted.”

“I trust people.” Not all but maybe just one. Only one person came to his immediate thought.

“Yeah, give me your phone.” Dr Raynor put aside her notebook before reaching over to take Bucky’s phone from him. As she searched up his contact list, she remarked that there wasn’t even ten numbers in it.

“Oh, and you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships.” She spoke before noting that she was the only person Bucky called all week and how sad it was.

Dr Raynor was going to continue before she stopped herself. She opened up the chat with your name and read your last message to Bucky.

“What about Y/N?”

“What about her?” Bucky retorted.

“Seems like she’s someone you are close to?” Dr Raynor tried to imply something.

“She’s a friend,” Bucky answered firmly. Dr Raynor gave Bucky a glance before probing further. “I’ve seen her around before when she accompanied you at the beginning of your session. She seems nice.”

“She is,” Bucky answered curtly once more before deciding to shoot back, knowing his therapist was trying to probe more than he was willing to share. “What are you insinuating, doc?”

“Nothing. I am glad you at least have one friend. But you need to make more connections with other people.” Dr Raynor tried explaining. Bucky drifted off in his thoughts for a moment, thinking about how he didn’t need more people. He was fine with just you but he didn’t want to let on more than he wanted to.

He didn’t feel the need to explain about his relationship with you when you knew you two were solid. Bucky sighed internally when his therapist asked him what he wanted. Bucky thought of the calm and peace he had in Wakanda, his mind replaying the moments of you and him living a carefree life on the farm.

When he was told that he was finally free, he questioned “to do what?”. Was he ever truly free? The memories from his past, the long list of amends he had in his notebook. Could he ever truly be free from the guilt that constantly plagues him?

As Bucky made his way back to his apartment, he spotted his neighbour, Yori arguing with another neighbour, Unique over the trash. He reassured that he could take care of Yori to this Unique fellow before catching up with the grumbling old man in the alley.

Bucky convinced him that he would give a treat at their usual sushi place and that managed to pacify Yori’s mood.

-------------—-----——//---------------------——

When they were at Izzy’s, Yori mentioned how no one made it past 90 years in the obituary of the newspaper. The familiar waitress came up to the two and remarked if they were feeling adventurous since they did not order the usual.

Giving him a slight smirk, Yori suggested that Bucky should ask her out. Bucky immediately shook his head and gave Yori a bewildered look like he was crazy.

“Why not? Are you seeing that pretty friend of yours that always come to visit?” Bucky knew Yori was referring to you and immediately tried to refute the notion.

“Y/N’s just a friend.”

“Could have convinced me otherwise. You two seem really close.” Yori scoffed at Bucky’s statement.

“Such a pity. If I were 50 years younger, I would have made a move already.” Bucky chuckled at how Yori, despite being a grumpy senior most of the times, actually tried to make a witty joke. He silently agreed that you were indeed a catch and how it was crazy you have not been with anyone.

Well then again, you have always been with him all this while. Of course, as a friend, Bucky tried to convince himself that there was no way he would have a shot with you. You were too good for him and you definitely deserved someone better.

Even though he tried to convince himself, Bucky does not know what to do if you had managed to find someone and will eventually leave him to be on his own. He shook himself out of his inner thoughts and before he knew it, Yori spoke to the waitress.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” Bucky’s eyes shot wide open when he realised what Yori had actually done. Bucky tried to apologise on behalf of Yori for his bizarre behaviour but the waitress did not seem to mind. In fact, she was game and agreed.

After she went off to attend to other customers, Bucky shook his head and couldn’t believe Yori actually became his wingman. Yori then suddenly went silent for a moment. Bucky was nervous before hearing how Yori spoke of his beloved son who had passed away due to an incident.

Bucky listened intently with the guilt gnawing in his gut, his heart heavy with all of the weight of the world.

------———------------//------------------------—

Bucky convinced himself to go on the date with Leah. He decided to give himself the chance to make more connections as Dr Raynor had advised. The date was going well in fact. Leah seemed like a great gal but Bucky felt himself holding back.

There were just too many secrets he was holding in. What would she think if she knew who he really was? Would she even want to be in the same room as him then?

While he tried the whole online dating thing (much to your masked disappointment and amusement), he was not convinced if he could really make a romantic connection with anyone. Who was he kidding? Could he ever?

When the topic of conversation turned to Yori, the overwhelming sensation started to descend onto Bucky’s consciousness. Before he could stop, he immediately tapped out. Giving a pathetic excuse, Bucky rushed back to Yori’s apartment and had the urge to tell him the truth.

However, when he saw the altar that Yori had dedicated to his son, Bucky withdrew himself. He did not want to lose a friend in Yori even though he was dying to say the truth.

Bucky pretended to come up with an excuse to a confused Yori by paying his half of lunch before stalking off. When Bucky returned to his place, he opened up his notebook and stared at Yori’s name.

What was he to do?

A ring on his phone averted his intense thoughts and he reached for his phone.

Hey Buck, I am done on my side.

Would be back soon!

Can’t wait to see you again, missed you!

Bucky clutched his phone tighter and brought it close to his heart. He started counting down the hours till he could welcome you back in his arms.

-------------———----//------------------------——

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #thefalconandthewintersoldier #tfatws #marvel fanfiction #angstsfordays #beautiful pain

172 notes · View notes

danishmiilk · 3 years

Text

when thunder splits the sky - na jaemin

au || royalty!au, soulmates!au

genre || angst, fluff, slight crack

warnings || swearing, death mentioned, almost deathly sickness, a lot of stress on jaemin and y/n’s part, throwing up.

summary || soulmates. the source of happiness, the source of sickness. you’re shocked that your best friend (and the second prince) is your soulmate, but it shouldn’t be too bad. after all, you’re best friends, right? you know each other better than anyone else in the world. but when jaemin refuses to realise his love, shit hits the fan.

word count || ~10k

note || this is a collaboration piece with @astroboy-lele for @k-dinernet‘s dance off event!

you and jaemin were close, closer than a commoner and a prince should be. but since you were the main cook’s daughter, it wasn’t too uncommon to see the two of you running around with bright smiles lighting up your faces. then studies took over for jaemin. he was constantly studying to become a better king than his dad, which was slightly unfair since he wasn’t even the crown prince. but accidents could happen, so jaemin had to be prepared. so you were left to your own devices most of the time, fiddling with things in the kitchen, or helping clean the monstrous castle jaemin called home.

“jaem!” you giggled happily when jaemin emerged from the library’s study. he looked tired. more tired than a 17 year old should be. dark circles contrasted his pale skin, and your hand automatically came up to rub at his slim cheeks. “you should get more rest.” you chided him.

“can’t.” jaemin responded curtly, removing your hands from his face. “i need to study.”

"but you're always studying," you sighed. it shouldn't be this hard to spend time with your best friend, but you supposed it was one of the cons of befriending the second prince of your kingdom.

"you don't understand, y/n! how could you? it's my duty to my family and my country to keep studying in case, heaven forbid, anything happens to doyoung hyung!" he snapped sharply at you, and though you knew he was clearly overstretched and stressed beyond anything you'd ever seen him (or didn't see him, he was always in the library nowadays anyway), you still took a step back and flinched away, hurt. jaemin stepped forward, mouth trying to form apologies. you shook your head, eyes glassy.

“don’t.” your voice was softer than expected. “i’ll.. i’ll leave you to it.” you ran off before jaemin could even react, wiping at your eyes.

jaemin watched you go. he watched you leave, back retreating into the dark hallways. he felt bad, of course he did - jaemin would never snap at you for no good reason. the last time he actually wanted to hurt someone was when you came to him sobbing, one year ago. the memory was still fresh in jaemin’s mind.

you supposed it could be you being too sensitive, but it was the toll the absence of jaemin took on you. sure, absence made the heart grow fonder, but it also did make cracks emerge in a friendship. you couldn’t see your cracks yet, but they’d emerge soon enough - it was the first time in so long you’d managed to talk to jaemin, and he’d just brushed you away brusquely. your hand raised to your eyes to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen.

without looking where you were running, you’d bumped into something very solid. something very human. roughly, you placed your hands on said solid thing and pushed yourself away, speeding around the obstacle to the forest, tears still filling up your eyes. you didn’t blink them back - if you’d blinked, they were sure to have fallen out.

“y/n?” the very confused crown prince shouted out from somewhere behind you, “what’s going on?” and unbeknownst to you, his brother was soon to follow, brushing past him like he was invisible (last he checked, he wasn’t.) “jaemin?” the pair of you had left long before there was a chance to provide the prince with any of his requested answers, leaving a very confused doyoung standing in the middle of the hallway. sighing, doyoung brushed off his clothes. sometimes he didn’t know what he put up with you for.

once you set foot into the forest, immediate regret almost washed over you. it started raining. not gently either, it came down in harsh droplets, hammering into your clothes, thoroughly soaking you to the bone. you shivered, rubbing your hands up and down your arms, trying to bring warmth to yourself. it didn’t work, so you settled with standing under a tree in an attempt to stay out of the storm. you gazed up at the sky, wincing as thunder rumbled in the distance, reminding you of your fears. you wished with all your might that the storm would stop. it didn’t. of course it didn’t. why would it, it was nature, and nature didn’t listen to common people, only the gods above. “y/n? y/n! oh my god, y/n!” you heard a shout echo through the forest, and you shivered again. “there you are, do you know how long i’ve been looking for you?” jaemin accused, hands grabbing at your shoulders. you glared back, though it wasn’t threatening as you were shaking and shivering, teeth chattering. “you know it’s the rainy season and almost winter! what the fuck were you thinking?” jaemin huffed, but shrugged off his coat and draped it around your shoulders gently, concern making his eyebrows knit together.

“it was sunny before.” you protested, and jaemin exhaled, shaking his head with disappointment at your naive actions.

“you should know the weather changes quickly,” jaemin retorted, and that shut you up. you knew the weather changed fast, but emotions took over you, just wanting to escape the castle jaemin called home. “we should find some shelter. i know there’s an old cottage somewhere, i just don’t know where.” jaemin sighed.

you raised your eyebrows at him, “what, it wouldn’t be some strange warped hansel and gretel remix going on, would it? because we’re not smart enough to push witches into ovens.” jaemin smiled widely, chuckling at your small jab at yourself and him.

“no, it’s completely safe.” he assured you, grabbing your hand. jaemin nervously cleared his throat. “uh… i, i should apologize for earlier. it wasn’t right for me to snap at you.” you squeezed his hand gently.

“i know you’re stressed, it’s okay. i really should be more lenient.” you sighed, slightly disappointed in yourself for not understanding your best friend’s struggles. his hair was sticking to his forehead, yours similarly sticking you your arms and neck.

“it’s just the expectations, you know. of my parents, of the people… of the country.” jaemin’s eyes widened in horror and fear, an expression that would be almost comical under different circumstances and whispered, “what if i have to rule the country one day?”

your friend blanched and you sighed, tightening your hold around him to anchor him to reality, “look, i’m not saying you’re incapable of doing it, but it’s really quite impossible that something were to happen to doyoung, so i don’t think you really have to worry about that too much. still, being royalty is probably way harder than i could imagine.”

his voice wistful, jaemin’s eyes shined with tears - or perhaps it was just the rain creating illusions. “sometimes i wish i were never born into royalty. but you know what, there’s pros and cons to everything, that’s just how life is. we get privileges, but we can’t have the best of both worlds. still,” he looked down at the wet ground, “every time i see children running about or playing with their friends in courtyards or in the streets, it makes me wish i had a childhood. makes me wish i had friends, and was allowed to play with them, to live a normal life. normal. what a beautiful word, really, and how ironic that millions of people would give anything to be a member of the royal family, while the second prince would do anything to get out of being one.”

there wasn’t very much to say, you thought, considering jaemin very rarely went into long, emotional speeches like this one. you’d never be able to understand, and you weren’t about to try. softly, so very softly, you whispered, “but you have me.” jaemin smiled softly, and slightly proudly at you.

“yeah. yeah, i do.” and he did. he’s always had you, from the first day he sneaked into the kitchen for a taste of his birthday cake before he was supposed to, until- well, there isn’t an until if you’ll have his back forever, is there?

a cottage was beginning to come into view in the distance, a quaint little thing fit for no more than one person (or perhaps seven dwarves, no reference to snow white intended). the rain blurred your vision and wind whipped through your hair, but it was shelter, and so hand in hand, you ran towards it.

“to what honour do i owe the presence of the second prince at my humble abode?” a boy’s voice, sweet and melodic, came from behind you.

you jumped. “jaemin! i thought you said it was safe.” you hissed, clutching at jaemins arms. jaemin just shrugged. you sighed, keeping an eye on the strange boy. jaemin gripped your hand tighter, however.

jaemin gestured vaguely around, staring at the auburn-haired boy with no small amount of skepticism, “i thought you’d be… older. like, an old lady.”

the boy scoffed. “who’s to say i’m not? witches don’t always have to be middle aged ladies with no fashion sense and even less hair. i’m donghyuck, by the way. come on in.” jaemin was still looking the boy up and down in curiosity, finally blurting out, “witches use umbrellas?”

“no, we’re waterproof,” donghyuck deadpanned, sarcasm filling his words.

“jaemin,” you frowned, “do you know him?” a quick shake of his head confirmed your suspicions. “then why,” you half-screeched into his ear, “do you assume he’s safe?”

“i’m not. i could turn you into a frog, if you want.” the boy suggested, waving a hand, making you flinch and jaemin move your smaller frame behind him. donghyuck moved a shoulder evenly up and down, “joking.”

“that wasn’t funny!” you gasped. donghyuck moved his other shoulder up and down, doing a strange half-shrug again, “nobody gets my humour.”

you followed him into the house, dripping water all over his doormat and the wooden planks of his floor, but not daring to move any further than that. donghyuck waved his hand, slamming the wooden door shut behind you and lighting the fire, “will the two of you stop looking so shocked? it’s not like i’m going to cook you for dinner, so why are you acting like you’ve never seen a witch before?”

“because we haven’t,” the note of childlike curiosity reappeared in jaemin’s voice, and you were glad his mind was taken off of his royal duties, “they were outlawed a long time ago.” “right,” donghyuck levitated a couple mugs of cocoa over to you, “i forgot, sorry.”

“so your existence is basically illegal, and yet you’re serving the prince of your kingdom hot chocolate in the middle of the thunderstorm like nothing’s wrong?” you sputtered in disbelief, though you didn’t actually splutter, of course; that was rather an expression authors liked using. “all in a day’s work,” donghyuck glanced at you again, “come in and stop dripping water on the mat. would you believe it, magically drying the mat is harder than magically drying the wood.” very honestly, you didn’t know what to make of that boy.

you stood awkwardly, pressing yourself into jaemin’s side as you watched donghyuck bustle around his house, ironically not unlike an old lady. “so, ummm, could you show us some magic or something?”

“like drying our clothes,” jaemin added, motioning to the soaked fabric draped over his body.

“they’ll dry, just sit by the fireplace. in the meantime, i can show you a soulmate spell if you’d like to see it. it’s one of the easier and prettier spells, so i think you’d enjoy it, even if it’s highly unlikely it would work. soulmates are rare things, and even rarer are soulmates who discover each other and the fact that they are soulmates. so i’ll do it, but if you two don’t turn out to be soulmates, don’t be disappointed. if you do, there isn’t going to be a flash of golden light and a shower of sequins either, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“you’re saying like what would happen is one of us would die and suddenly come back to life.” you sarcastically commented, but eyes growing wide as the moon above when donghyuck looked around nervously.

“well…” he started, but you held up a hand.

“excuse me, what. come again?”

“let me just show you.” donghyuck sighed, and got up, grabbing a book from the large shelf pushed against the wall. he flipped through a few pages carefully, and let out a satisfied “ah,” when he found the correct page in the yellowing book. “the concept of soulmates hath been the strongest bond known to man since the beginnings of time. for the true blossoming of true love takes place when the eyes of soulmates transform into colours of the fall. time and time again, history older than anything thou or i could ever imagine hast proven that soulmates are rare, ones who know about them even more so. for thee, the pair who is reading this, thou art soulmates. it would be an insult to fate and everyone who cannot experience such a connection to not realise your feelings. thou hath one month to realize feelings or one half of the pair will be fated to a cruel ending. as mere mortals, we do not make the rules. nobody can help thee except the other, but fear not. you are soulmates. you have a bond. said bond shalt be enough, if thou realises it.” haechan read, rubbing the thin, old pages of the book between careful fingers. you glanced over at jaemin who was shifting his weight back and forth, not knowing where to put his feet. “so, basically,” donghyuck started, ignoring jaemin’s nervous state. “if your soulmate doesn’t acknowledge their feelings for you, or you don’t, one of you would basically die.” he shrugged. your mouth dropped open. how in the world was he so calm about it? “what the fuck? they could die?” jaemin seemed to share your sentiment.

“what is a fuck?” donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows together, evidently confused as to what this strange new word meant. jaemin faltered, taken aback, “wait, dude, you look like you’re, what, seventeen, and you have no idea what fuck means?” donghyuck looked at jaemin like he was an idiot, “never gotten the chance to interact with a lot of other seventeen year olds.” jaemin nodded solemnly, “can relate. only got this loser for a friend.” jaemin hooked a thumb in your direction. you rolled your eyes.

“let us begin the spell! i feel like i’m conducting a child gender reveal party,” he exclaimed happily, rubbing his hands together with glee. you held up your hand.

“hold the fuck up, you’re not performing this spell! one of us could DIE!” you exclaimed.

“there’s the word fuck again. kinda catchy.” donghyuck tested it out under his breath. “any other new words?” he asked. jaemin opened his mouth, no doubt to actually teach donghyuck how to swear, and well, you weren’t exactly opposed to letting him, but not dying came higher than teaching people you just met how to swear on your priority list.

“don’t worry. there’s only a slight chance that you’re soulmates anyway, and it’s better to know than to remain in oblivion. i’m not kidding.” “ignorance is bliss?” you suggested, desperate to stop donghyuck. “no, y/n. i think… if we indeed are soulmates, we deserve to know. i want to at least know why i died if i do suddenly die.”

“i have heard of that saying, y/n, was it? say, can fuck be used as a noun, a verb or an adjective?” “any way you want,” jaemin grinned, “reality can be anything you wish it to be!” “sweet,” donghyuck plonked a cauldron of unknown origin onto the table, “i like that word already.”

pulling a ladle out of seemingly nowhere, donghyuck pointed said ladle at you, “what’s your favourite flower?” you stared at him blankly, “you need that for the spell? i don’t really have a preference.” donghyuck rolled his eyes, “no, i was just curious. if you’re interested, your aura says daisy and jaemin’s absolutely screams carnations. for the record, i have zero idea what those flowers mean, but who cares?” he waved an arm over the cauldron which then proceeded to bubble, pushing dandelions and carnations to the surface. white. all white. “pretty enough, i suppose. i don’t usually give my services discounted, so you can just teach me some new words and it’s a deal.”

as you thought back, you did have a small memory of making flower crowns with jaemin. you often made daisy crowns, while jaemin’s were, as far as you knew, carnations. they were always given to you, all his carnation-based flower accessories: crowns, necklaces, bracelets.

you were jerked back to the present and away from distant memories as jaemin helpfully, or not so helpfully, instructed donghyuck on how to swear, “so, motherfucker is a noun. the verb equivalent is motherfucking, but that’s usually used as an adjective anyway. can also be shortened to mf. bitch is a more female-specific curse word since its original meaning was something along the lines of female dog.”

“i thought dogs were nice,” donghyuck pointed a finger aggressively at the bubbling liquid inside the cauldron, flowers obscuring most of its contents, “this always takes way too fucking long to boil so i can’t do anything. how perfectly bitchy of it.” jaemin’s face lit up with that mischievous smile you were so used to, “you’re a natural!” “why, thank you.” you had to be imagining things. either that, or your ears were waterlogged. shaking your head wildly, all you got was a headache, so no, your ears weren’t waterlogged. and so the two boys before you were complimenting each other casually on their ability to swear, even as one’s existence was against the law and the other was the prince of your kingdom. because that was not… strange. not strange at all.

“why don’t you teach him things like crap, hell and damn? why… fuck and bitch?” donghyuck had settled into an armchair by the fire, snapping his fingers every minute or so to keep the cauldron’s contents boiling, “you want to learn the interesting shit. like, you know, if i can learn shit and motherfucker then why am i learning crap and hell and damn? they sound lame compared to bitch, fuck and shit.” donghyuck shrugged, you sighed, and jaemin nodded like he’d birthed and raised donghyuck for seventeen years just for this moment.

“i mean, my parents don’t let me curse, but it’s fun to see them mad sometimes.” jaemin shrugged. you shook your head at the boy next to you (we shall omit the fact that he learnt half his curse words from you, and the other half from the legendary crown prince’s speech in which he accidentally swore half a dozen times in front of the whole nation. doyoung got grounded, but it made jaemin, and by extension you, developed a heck of a lot more respect for him.) you watched quietly as the two boys exchanged details about their lives and excitedly swore together. unconsciously, you started shivering again, your clothes still not quite dry. jaemin noticed, and picked up the blanket laid across his lap, wrapping it around your shoulders, making sure the blanket was secure around you before turning back to donghyuck. you learnt he also liked to be called haechan or hyuck, lived out here all his life, and didn’t know much about the kingdom from having to stay hidden from the world. jaemin’s expression held a hint of guilt, knowing that he was a member of the family that had caused huyck's plight.

“ooh! the spell is done!” hyuck clapped, and scrambled to his feet, once again doing the weird shrug thing, skipping over to the cauldron. his hair bounced and jaemin snickered while you quieted him. you shrank back into the couch as the sounds from the caldron became louder and donghyuck’s eyes started to sparkle. jaemin grabbed your hand, palms slightly sweaty. donghyuck peered into the large metal bowl, and smiled. his smile made you a bit uneasy.

“ready?” he asked the two of you, and jaemin nodded while you hesitated.

“yes.”

nothing happened for a moment and haechan waved his hands over the flower-filled water, mumbling some ancient words. you watched, eyes wide, as the water came out in a stream, winding around the circumference of the small cottage, and then around you and jaemin’s hands. you gasped, as the water was ice cold though it was boiling just moments ago. a daisy settled on jaemins wrist, wrapping around it tightly. a carnation wrapped around your finger, like it’s own special promise to you. jaemin frowned.

“is that supposed to mean something?” he asked, tugging at the flower. it didn’t move or tear. haechan eyes doubled in size as his eyes zeroed in on the flowers.

“you’re… you’re soulmates.”

jaemin stood there in shock, and shook his head. “no way. we’re best friends.” he protested. your heart was slightly crushed, as you liked him for a few months now. who wouldn’t? “we can’t be soulmates. no way.” he shook his head again, as if to clear away the water clogging his ears. you let go of jaemin’s hand. your heart was hammering, matching the raindrops that pelted to the ground.

“are.. are you sure?” you asked, voice wavering. haechan nodded. your hands were shaking now, and jaemin was ignoring you. “can i… may i lie down?” you asked, twirling a finger around your long strands of hair. donghyuck nodded, pointing you to what you assumed to be his room. as you slipped off, you heard jaemin and donghyuck whisper something together.

the next few days you didn’t see much of jaemin, only when he came out of the library to get food. even those days were rare, as he often ate in there, or brought his lunch in during the morning. and each day, jaemins face looked more and more pale. the flowers had vanished, though they left marks on where they rested just a week ago. you cast a glance down the empty hallway to the library, feet hesitating. you made up your mind, pushing open the large oak doors and… found jaemin passed out on the ground.

you gasped, rushing over and checking his temperature. it was abnormally normal, though he was sweating. you called a maid over, and soon you found yourself in the hospital wing. how were you going to break it to his parents that their younger son was sick because you two were soulmates. the thought itself was ridiculous.

“is jaemin okay?” well, fuck you, he’s obviously not. an undertone of worry was detected from the trained calmness of doyoung’s voice. the king and queen had yet to arrive, and doyoung stood behind you, hand resting on your shoulder in a slightly failed attempt to calm you. quick breaths left you, panic filling your mind and cluttering your lungs. the crown prince patted at your shoulder awkwardly, turning to leave as he couldn’t really do much. besides, it was fairly obvious the two of you needed to be alone.

as the day faded into night, jaemin was still, not moving as you watched him, hands grasping at your hair. this was all your fault. no, it was that bitch of a witch named donghyuck. he cast the spell. you wanted to blame jaemin for not accepting that you were soulmates, and now he was going to die because of it.

obviously, you hadn’t had a soulmate before. but you could sense it, you knew that no matter what jaemin had done, you wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him. to love so hard you’re falling, but you know you’re flying. you’re not there yet, definitely not. there was an inkling of the possibility of that happening, though. you barely blamed jaemin for everything (which was mostly his fault anyway), and staring at the pale complexion of the boy in front of you, you couldn’t bring yourself to stay angry. you slipped your hand into his (see? can’t help it. this was all because you were soulmates, and totally not because you just wanted to.), and as storybook-esque as it was, it felt so right. a maid brought you dinner, but you couldn’t bring yourself to scoop the rice and noodles into your mouth. your stomach was protesting, but you didn’t care, resting your head on your arm, you clutched jaemin’s hand tightly. tears pricked at your eyes, and this time, you didn’t stop them.

doyoung came by again in the morning and found you awake, dark blue and purple eyebags obnoxiously present. “have you been here the whole night?” you stretched, not letting go of jaemins limp hand, back aching from the uncomfortable position you were in for the whole night.

“is there a wrong answer?” you asked, yawning as you spoke. doyoung sighed, rubbing at his temples.

“he’ll survive, y/n. it’s just sickness. we have the best doctor-”

“it’s not just a sickness!” you snapped, fire igniting in your stomach, the need to protect haechan slowly shrinking. you found yourself telling the oldest prince everything from getting caught in the rain, jaemin having a breakdown, the walk in the woods, to finding the cottage, and even the witch you encountered, though his existence was very much illegal. doyoung listened. he listened to every word, and nodded along, though his eyes were slowly going from panicked to angry.

“so, you found a witch, donghyuck, was it?” you nodded in confirmation, death gripping jaemin’'s hand. if he ever woke up he would for sure scold you for making his dominant hand ache. “he cast a soulmate spell, and jaemin didn’t accept. so now the gods are punishing him?” you nodded again. doyoung sighed, rubbing at his temples again. you watched anxiously, worried for donghyuck’s safety.

“could you get donghyuck to come here?” doyoung asked. that is not what you were expecting. blinking nervously, you nodded. you remembered the path jaemin took, right? if not, you could just shout.

“do you promise not to kill him? or like, arrest him? he’s an annoying motherfucker, but i think jaemin would be sad if you did,” you inhaled. doyoung nodded with a perfectly straight face. “he could turn you into a frog.” you added, deciding to trust him. doyoung looked a bit shocked, but you reluctantly stood up. “i’ll be back.” you whispered to jaemin, leaving doyoung to look after his brother.

setting off in the woods alone was scarier than you thought. shivering, you really wished you had jaemin in that moment. really wished. the sooner you got to donghyuck, the sooner he would be better, right? wrong.

“what do you mean you can’t remove the spell?” you shrieked, panic filling you once again. donghyuck looked sorrowful, and doyoung was standing with his arms crossed off in the corner.

“i can’t, i’m sorry, y/n. jaemin has to realize he loves you for the sickness to go away. and either way, all my spell did was prove that the two of you were soulmates. the sickness stems from the heavens”

“i have to what?” jaemin’s voice cracked slightly from not using it for the past few days. “jaemin!” you practically sobbed, hand clenching around his fingers from where you’d reached for them unknowingly. he squeezed back weakly, coughing. “what do i have to do?”

“realize you love y/n.” haechan said simply.

“i don’t think it works like that!” your voice came out slightly higher than usual, laughing nervously to stop jaemin from feeling uncomfortable. he had to, love didn’t work as such. you just didn’t decide to go, ‘okay today i have decided i love y/n!’ jaemin looked at donghyuck with visible confusion. all haechan offered was a half shrug in return.

“what happens if i don’t?” jaemin whispered. haechan glanced at doyoung, nervous that someone so high and regal was standing in the same room as him - jaemin didn’t count, seeing as he’d spent the first hour of knowing hyuck teaching him to swear, and he wasn’t the crown prince anyway - if he did or said the wrong thing, he would definitely get executed.

“we’ll get there when we get there. how long does he have?” doyoung asked. you gripped jaemin’s hand tighter, nervous of the answer. “it… depends?” donghyuck offered. doyoung scowled. “very helpful.” “i’m sorry, i’ve never had to deal with this kind of fuckery before,” donghyuck waved his hands around, “okay, swear i’m not doing magic, but i really didn’t cause any of this. okay. maybe a bit. but it would have happened anyways.” your eyebrow lifted.

“what do you mean, anyways?” jaemin asked, frowning.

“the soulmate spell only helps the soulmates find each other. and gets the show on quicker, but a year from now, the same thing would’ve happened.” haechan explained, still waving a hand. doyoung’s eyebrows knitted together. “so, jaemin and y/n should spend as much time together as they can.” hyuck concluded.

“and die faster?” jaemin snarled. haechan shook his head quickly, eyes straying to the other royal member in the room.

“no, if you spend more time together, then it’ll slow down until you realise you’re in love. usually, you get only a week, but if you spend every day together, it’s up to… a month?” haechan shrugged, letting the slightest hint of resentment slip into his voice, “maybe i’d know better if i actually could come out of hiding to be taught by more experienced witches. my work here seems to be done anyway, adios!” it was like donghyuck was born to be a showman. he ripped the curtains off and disappeared under them with a flash, letting the rich fabric settle slowly to the ground. doyoung sighed.

“well, you guys heard what he said. spend as much time together as you can.” doyoung shrugged. “and jaemin, try not to die.” doyoung added, a small smile playing at his lips, like he knew something you didn’t. jaemin nodded, head thrown back onto the plush pillows. you frowned, jaemin usually loved to hang out with you. something definitely changed over the last few weeks.

try not to die, he said. well, you were definitely dying inside. and jaemin wasn’t getting any better, coughing, occasional throwing up, and sneezing. he barely could keep his food down, let alone sit up without any help. it worried you. it worried you a lot more than you let on. to say things were awkward was putting it lightly. everyone avoided the two of you, seeing the tension held over your and jaemin’s heads. you started to get fed up after a few days.

“what happened? aren’t you supposed to be with jaemin?” doyoung asked as you stormed downstairs.

“he’s not talking to me. what’s the harm in taking a small break?” you exhaled, running a hand through your now messy hair. doyoung frowned, the worry lines creasing his forehead. “don’t worry, i’m going back to the ward in half an hour. it’s just so… infuriating.” you ranted to the crown prince, resting your head on the stairwell railing. doyoung had stopped you half way down the stairs. “we’re soulmates for god's sake! can’t he just… talk to me? when did he start to see me as a bother? when did he… start to hate me? it’s like we never were friends. i miss him, doyoung. i miss my best friend. i miss his smile, his laugh, his weird antics, i miss my jaemin.” you whimpered, tears pricking your eyes for the third time today. jaemin being sick and ignoring you while, quite literally, on his deathbed did not help. especially since you two were soulmates.

“when did you start to fall in love with him?” doyoung questioned softly. you thought for a moment. when did you truely start to love jaemin? not in the rain. not when you had your first fight when you saw him. no, it started a while ago. when jaemin started to grow up. when you stopped making flower jewelry and when he started to give you real gems. when? you weren’t exactly sure. maybe you always loved him. maybe he always loved you. but when would he figure that out? doyoung just nodded, understanding your confused gaze, unfocused and misty-eyed. he stood up, brushing his black slacks and deep red shirt. “give him a bit. jaemin is a bit slow with these kinds of things.” you only nodded in response, mindlessly walking back to the ward jaemin was residing in.

jaemin still was not getting any better the next few days. he still refused to talk to you, only nodding or rolling his eyes as a response to you trying to start to converse. you were starting to lose hope.

you were surprised to see him lying on the cold tiled ground.

“jaemin, why are you on the ground? you should be in bed. it’s cold out.” you scolded, moving towards him. jaemin held up a hand, draping his hands over his stomach.

“the floor is nice and cold,” he uttered, sighing with relief as the tile cooled his sweaty body down. you frowned, huffing. jaemin, once again, did not listen.

“the ground is dirty. i can turn down the heat-” jaemin cut you off.

“shut up! i’m dying, i don’t care if the ground is dirty!” jaemin hissed, and you backed up, saddened by his tone. jaemin didn’t notice, too busy coughing into his elbow to notice your state.

“you’re not going to die,” you whispered, and jaemin moved his elbow away. “you’re not. i refuse to let you. i don’t care if you don’t love me right now, but you’re my soulmate, jaemin. soulmate. do you know how many people wish to have soulmates? jaemin, i’ve been by your side since we were in diapers. we played in the mud together. we got in trouble together. we did everything together, jaemin. i watched you grow up. i watched you become more responsible. i watched, and i waited for you to confess. but you never did, so now you’re sick, and it’s all your fault. don’t push the blame on me, on donghyuck, or on anyone. this is on you. if you want to sit here and wallow in your self-pity, go ahead. i’m tired, jaemin. i tried to give you time, but you only have three weeks left. i don’t…” you choked on your words. “i don’t know what i’ll do if you ever die suddenly.” you whispered, backing out of the door. jaemin struggled to his feet, but you were already gone, ends of your hair and dress flowing behind you.

he stared at the empty spot where you’d been just moments before, feeling the same emptiness in his heart. bitterness welled up from within him. he wasn’t that dumb either, but love just didn’t work that way. just because some spell told you that you were soulmates didn’t necessarily mean that with a magical click of your fingers you’d stare into each others eyes and sappily declare your everlasting love.

doyoung stepped out from nowhere, looking around with a confused expression, “where’s y/n? i swear i saw her here just a few minutes ago.”

“hey, hyung.” doyoung hummed in response. jaemin sat up with some difficulty, holding a hand up to stop doyoung from trying to help him, “what if this sickness has got nothing to do with the soulmate fuckery? what if i just, uh, have the plague or something?”

“have the plague or something,” doyoung drawled sarcastically, “the last time the plague was going around was, like, a hundred years ago.” jaemin winced.

“or maybe i have cancer.”

“or maybe,” doyoung narrowed his eyes at his brother, “you’re just being a fatheaded dick who can’t come to terms with the fact that you’re soulmates with your best friend, and have to realise your love for each other so you don’t suddenly stop breathing!” doyoung stalked out of the room without a single word, pausing to seemingly contemplate whether slamming the (very heavy) oak door would help prove his point. he very intelligently settled on just stamping his foot. it made him look like a child, but jaemin hadn’t seen doyoung this upset in a while. and frankly, it got him thinking a bit.

you walked into the hospital wing as usual without greeting jaemin. it wasn’t like you got a reply anyway. “hey,” the prince offered as you took up your usual spot by his bed with a book, a clear indication that you didn’t want conversation.

your eyebrows twitched a little. granted, you weren’t expecting him to say anything, but it must be a testament to your friendship if your little blow up had at least gotten jaemin to think a little. you stared pointedly down at the book you didn’t even know the title of.

“y/n.” still no response. “you’re holding the book upside down,” jaemin sighed.

furious with yourself, you flipped the book the right side up again, “you don’t want to talk to me. stop forcing yourself to.”

“i do want to talk to you, okay? i don’t particularly want to die either, the soulmates idea is just hard to stomach.”

“what, does loving me sound so bad? am i so unlovable?” you slammed your book closed, trying not to choke on the shower of dust that came with it. logically, you shouldn’t be getting mad. jaemin was just trying to make things better, but he sounded so forced. “you sound so forced to do this, jaemin.”

“oh, are you getting mad at me now? you were sad because i wasn’t talking to you, and now you’re mad because i am! what the fuck am i supposed to do?” jaemin glared at you from underneath the covers, “i’m trying, okay? i thought you said you didn’t want me to die!”

“i don’t want you to die!” you hissed back at him, tears springing to your eyes again.

“are you crying again? if every time we talk you get that sad, then maybe you should just let me die!”

you dusted yourself off and ran out of the room, not even bothering to give jaemin an answer. why didn’t he get it? it’s not that hard to understand! (when else but) on your way out, you bumped into (who else but) doyoung, crying (what else but) angry tears. again. you really had to stop doing that.

to nobody in particular, doyoung whispered, “why are they so angsty?”

“we need to talk,” doyoung declared the moment he walked into the room in one of the pockets of time that you weren’t in it. jaemin looked up from the extremely interesting loose thread on his blanket and nodded, “what about?”

“y/n.”

jaemin’s expression darkened in a nanosecond. “no,” he practically growled, “not her again. i can figure this out myself, doyoung hyung! you don’t have to help me.”

“if you can figure this out yourself, the two of you wouldn’t be the embodiment of every sad angsty book ever written.”

“it’s our way of coping with things.” the words sounded fake even to jaemin’s own ears.

“no,” doyoung deadpanned, “don’t fuck around with me.” he hissed, “you know she cries every time you give her unwanted insults. let’s count how many times i ran into her, sometimes quite literally, in the hallway with her crying. one, the day you two got lost in the woods. two, when you were passed out and unresponsive, three, a few days after you woke up and weren’t talking to her, four, literally yesterday after you basically told her she was unlovable.” doyoung held up his fingers mockingly and it felt like jaemin had just been slapped in the face. “four times, na jaemin. four times you fucked up, four times y/n felt worthless, four times more than needed. four times. thats more than anything that happened in the last 16 years of your friendship. four times in less than a month. get your shit together, jaemin.” doyoung snapped, and spun around on his heel. jaemin felt like everyone was against him at this point.

a week passes and hey, what did you know? some improvement was showing. you and jaemin could hold, an (albeit very awkward, but still) a conversation. it was a relief to you, but you were slightly suspicious of him. jaemin still couldn’t look you in the eyes, glancing away or inspecting his nails. but you couldn’t ask anymore of him, he went from straight out ignoring you, to asking how your day went. jaemin sent you a small smile, fiddling in his seat.

“how… how are you?” jaemin asked, glancing at your features shyly. you smiled, though it felt more forced than genuine.

“i’m good. have you been getting better?”

“well, you know. not really,” jaemin shrugged, not looking at you, “it hasn’t been getting worse either, though.”

you ignored the way jaemin was pointedly avoiding your gaze and offered a half smile you didn't really mean, “the weather isn’t very good today, is it?” the weather hadn’t been really good for the past week or so. even if you weren’t spending every waking (and sleeping) moment by jaemin’s side, you wouldn’t have been able to go out of the castle. the relentless rain pouring down on the windows made sure of that.

“y/n, i still think we have to talk.” jaemin’s expression turned serious, “i know i’ve been a dick these few weeks, and i’m not even going to try excusing myself for that. but i want you to know that no matter what, i still treasure you a lot as my best friend. i think i just need time - okay, admittedly we haven’t got very much of that left, about a week and a half or so, but i struggle with feelings. i really struggle a lot and it’s overwhelming and i miss you so much, i miss talking to you not-awkwardly and i want our old relationship back.”

you promised yourself you weren’t going to cry again, because god knows you’ve cried too much. “okay then,” you laughed lightly, “if you’re going to make this a deep sentimental talk, just know that i’m willing to wait for you for as long as you need. sadly this isn’t up to me.”

jaemin remained silent for a bit, taking in what you just said. when he spoke again, you were shocked. “do you think i love you?”

you cocked your head, “what i think doesn’t matter. the question is what do you think?”

“i want to know what you think.”

knowing he wasn’t going to let you go until you told him so, you sighed, “i think you do.”

“platonically or romantically?”

“my father wants my help in the kitchens, your highness. i’ll see you later.”

it was raining again, and you didn’t show up in his room like normal. jaemin was worried, and he got out of his bed clumsily, grabbing a cane, which he winced at. he looked like an old man with it. drawing back the heavy velvet curtains, the glass of his widow was covered in water droplets, all racing to the window sill. jaemin spotted you running around the courtyard, mouth open with a muted laugh and eyes sparkling even though you were soaked to the skin. jaemin found himself smiling, watching you with fond eyes. his senses kicked in, and he realized. he was truly, and utterly, with every fiber of his being, every cell in his body, in love with you. with his best friend. with the person who stuck by him all these years. who loved all his flaws and imperfections. he, na jaemin, second prince in line, never to sit on the throne (he didn’t mind that part), was in love with you. a cook's daughter, a commoner, but most importantly, his soulmate.

when you came inside, your teeth were chattering and you were shivering all over, but it was the happiest you’d felt in a while. nothing was better than dancing in the rain, really, except dancing in the rain with jaemin. that now… that was a hundred times better, but na jaemin was sick, so you’d have to forgo that. practically waltzing into jaemin’s room, you grinned at him, your good mood making you forget all the awkwardness. he was just your best friend, your best friend of so many years. awkwardness who?

“jaems!” it might have been the prior realization of love making jaemin completely disregard any tension that might have been between the two of you earlier, but he grinned back at you just as happily as you’d greeted him, “y/n!” he frowned, pretending he hadn’t been watching you from his window just a few minutes prior because that was borderline creepy, “why are you all wet?”

“i danced in the rain. oh god, jaemin, do you remember that time when we were dancing together in the rain and then decided to use a banana leaf as an umbrella but we got wet anyway? and then-”

“and then,” jaemin picked up seamlessly from where you left off, the grin not disappearing, “doyoung hyung came to check on us because he was scared we’d catch colds from running around in the rain all day. then we slipped and fell into the mud, splashing him all over.”

you laughed, a light tinkling sound that reminded jaemin again of why he loved you, “i swear the mud mask made his skin better.”

jaemin practically screeched with laughter, “you mean you’ve been looking at my brother’s skin?”

the overwhelming love and affection you felt for your best friend in that moment, both platonically and romantically, made you throw your arms around him, instantly soaking him through with your wet clothes. somehow, the two of you ended up sprawled on his bed.

“you know what? i love you.” jaemin sighed, snuggling into your embrace. your ears burned red.

“you.. you what?” you asked timidly. you really hoped jaemin said what you thought he said. jaemin smiled, leaning back more, adjusting the position the two of you were in. you now were snuggled into his chest, sighing as you felt your eyelids droop. jaemin chuckled lowly, and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“i’ll be here when you wake up.” he whispered softly. you fell asleep, mind calm for once.

“jaemin- okay, you can explain why y/n’s soaking your bedsheets through and the both of you are completely drenched in rainwater first,” doyoung arched an eyebrow, “have y’all finally gotten your shit together?”

“i think i love her, hyung,” jaemin’s arm curled protectively around you, “really.”

doyoung clicked his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval, “you think? be sure of it, jaems. i’ve practically raised the two of you and watched you grow up, and now you say you only think you love her?”

“i love her.” jaemin struggled to hold back the laugh that was threatening to spill out of his chest. “i love her!” he repeated again, louder this time. seeing the finger doyoung had to his lips, he quietened down to prevent waking you up, “thank you, hyung. for knocking some sense into me.”

doyoung smiled, “anytime. it’s my job, after all. now, i think you two need some alone time. see you at dinner, i truly doubt you’ll still be sick.”

you were awakened by the sound of the door closing. rubbing your eyes tiredly, you looked around, disoriented, “did someone come in?”

“it’s nothing, y/n. just a servant. sleep, i love you.”

you yawned, “i love you too.” and you snuggled back under the covers with him, acting like it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

“hey,” jaemin whispered in your ear, waking you up gently, “i hate to have to wake you up, but dinner’s in a few. my parents want to see you too, apparently.”

you blinked the sleep away from your eyes, looking at his smiling face. waking up to jaemin’s smile was something you could get used to, you thought. “what?”

“i said, we have to go get ready for dinner. you too, yes, main banquet hall, my parents want to see you.”

your mouth dropped open, all thoughts of sleep gone, “i don’t have clothes suitable for a fancy dinner!”

“oh yes you do. wear that yellow dress with the sunflowers.”

“is that formal enough?”

“y/n, like, you’ve literally talked to my parents so many times. they watched you grow up. they’re not so different from doyoung and i.”

“but this is the first time meeting them as your girlfriend!” oh god, did you really just say that? you cringed inwardly. you hadn’t even put a label on the relationship yet. rushing to make amends, you stuttered out, “soulmate. i mean soulmate.”

“you’ve always been my soulmate. as for girlfriend, well, you can be if you want to, but we have explaining to do. now move! the entire bed is wet!”

with strength a sick person shouldn’t possess, jaemin threw you out of his bed playfully. you looked up in shock and happiness, “you’re well again! you’re not sick anymore!”

jaemin grinned down at you from his bed, “we realised our love. see you in twenty, adios, au revoir, zaijian, sayonara!” yelling at the top of his lungs, he pushed you out of his room and slammed the door, and you honestly couldn’t care less. you were flying (figuratively, of course), drunk on the sentiments of finally realising your feelings for your best friend and soulmate.

growing up in the castle had taught you some things about manners, especially when the queen insisted you attend some etiquette lessons together with jaemin (to keep him in check, she’d said). dropping into a deep curtsey in front of the royal family, you rose again when the king placed a warm hand on your shoulder, “get up, y/n. we’re all family here, there’s not need for such formalities. you never really did those before either.”

“i was eight and didn’t know much about manners,” you protested lightly as he steered you into your seat beside jaemin, then taking his own at the head of the table - the king’s seat.

you ate in silence and as fast as you could without being rude. nobody made a move to break the silence, so you sat and waited until the last of the plates had been cleared away by the servants, then leaned forward, “if it isn’t rude to ask, may i know why i’ve suddenly been called here for dinner?”

the queen smiled kindly at you, “of course not, dear. well, today we have two announcements to make, one of which concerns you.” she glanced at the king, who inclined his head at her with a smile as if to say “the floor is all yours, dear.” the queen turned back to you, and seeing the dying rays of last light hit her face, you were again reminded of how beautiful the queen was. “firstly, about doyoung. now, we all know that my dear son here is turning twenty one in a month’s time and has finished his education. and so, doyoung, my son, your father has decided to pass on the kingdom to you. the announcement to the people will happen in a few days’ time, if you agree, and the coronation shall be held on your birthday. you are a much beloved crown prince, and i am sure the news of your coronation will delight the kingdom. i do hope you accept. so,” she practically glowed with pride, staring at the shell-shocked prince, “do you?”

“it would be an honor, mother. but didn’t father say he enjoyed being king?” doyoung, the rightful heir to the throne and the one who’d been trained for this his entire life, looked shocked, to say the least. you couldn’t blame him; it must’ve felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

“your mother and i have long been dreaming of a proper honeymoon in the carribean. away from the eyes of the public,” his father’s voice boomed encouragingly.

“then yes, i accept,” doyoung’s eyes were shining with tears and you really hoped he wasn’t about to cry. knowing him, once he started crying, he wouldn’t stop and that would really… kill the mood.

“cheers to king doyoung,” jaemin raised his glass of juice (seventeen is not of a legal age to consume alcohol) to the sky, looking elated for his brother, “and for heaven’s sake, king doyoung, don’t cry!”

doyoung sniffled a little, holding his own goblet of wine to his brother’s, “i won’t cry! thank you so much!”

“congratulations,” you grinned at doyoung, who’d been just as much your elder brother all these years as he’d been jaemin’s. just in the past month, he’d slapped the two of you so hard to get your shit together, and he should honestly be crowned fairy godmother of the year. except that he wasn’t old, didn’t have white hair pulled up into a bun, and (sadly) didn’t own wings.

“now for our second announcement. doyoung’s explained everything to us already, i hope you don’t mind.” doyoung grinned guiltily at you over the table - honestly! like he’d done anything wrong! “you’re obviously too young for marriage, but y/n, your parents, whom i’ve just talked to, and us - we give you all our blessings. let this relationship prosper!”

jaemin squeezed your hand in his assuringly with a victorious smile like he’d known all along that this would’ve happened. you choked back a sob of your own, “thank you! thank you so much.”

“we’ve never known that soulmates existed, but now that we do know, there isn’t a truer pair than you and y/n,” she addressed jaemin, “treat her well.”

“i swear, mother, you love her more than you love me,” jaemin half-groaned, ignoring his mother’s angelic smile and reply (“i do not! i merely prefer to be around her.”)

“to the new king and couple!” jaemin’s father raised his goblet for another cheer, and you downed your drink in one gulp. tilting your head to grin at jaemin, you thought there really couldn’t be any happier moment in the world.

#kdinerdanceoff20 #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin x reader #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream x reader #nct dream #nct #na jaemin #jaemin

447 notes · View notes