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floralkittygambler · 3 years

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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warsofasoiaf · 3 years

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I'd love to hear your thoughts about Cyberpunk 2077 when you are ready/have finished the game. Maybe besides the game itself you have an opinion about the crunch, bugs and general feeling of disappointment in a good portion of the fans

Sure thing. It’s going to be a long write-up and there are going to be spoilers, so you better believe that this is going to have a cut. Reader beware. For context, I have beat the game, and I played it on PC and only on PC.

I’ve been a fan of the cyberpunk genre for a long time. Transhuman and techno-utopian sci-fi always struck me the wrong way; that it was too optimistic and ignored a less savory element of human nature that simply would not go away with the advent of new technologies. While I only briefly dipped my toes in the water of the Cyberpunk tabletop game (I was always a bigger fan of Shadowrun), I did enjoy the genre and was eager to see a AAA cyberpunk game. I also really liked CD Projekt Red with what they did with RPG’s like the Witcher 3. Particularly when it came to the smaller sidequests, they really found a way to bring a lot of noir elements and hard-hitting character moments to the game, and I believed that it could translate very well into a cyberpunk game. After all, noir was a similar response to detective fiction to what the cyberpunk genre was to earlier elements of sci-fi. So I was quite optimistic when it came out. What we got was...well, it didn’t quite meet up with expectations.

There are some good things about the game. Assuming you have a beefy rig, PC cyberpunk looks pretty good. Not only does it look good, but it looks like the dismal 1980′s inspired future that had defined the genre, with its neon lights, omnipresent advertising to the point of satire (amphetamines are available from vending machines in a variety of flavors and commercials are completely ridiculous). The fixers are great examples of different cyberpunk archetypes like Regina Jones being a media or the Padre being an underclass civic leader looking to protect his community with a bit of a violent streak. Plenty of the characters had great personality, the nomads and Panam were enjoyable, Judy had a great questline that detailed optimism and bitter disappointment (and the character looks cool and is a bit of a cinnamon roll), River’s quest was a perfectly serviceable cop questline with enough horror elements, they were all fine. Keanu wasn’t a great voice actor, but he did serviceably and was apparently just wonderful with the staff, so I’m willing to cut him a pass. The level design can encourage a variety of different play styles, with attribute points opening up certain pathways. Given that it’s an open-world sandbox game, the goal should be to immerse yourself in the world, and touch on elements of cyberpunk as you go through the various quests, and you do see some of that. You see the gross exploitations of dolls in the sex trade when you go to Clouds, the bizarre elements of self-expression that new technologies can offer such as the twins in Kabuki, Pacifica is an abandoned recreation ground for the rich with the nice image of rotting Ferris wheels and abandoned malls, and you can see the divide between the have’s and have-not’s on full display both in the opening (compare and contrast the Street Kid with the Corpo beginnings) or take a look at the Peralez’s penthouse apartment versus Judy’s cramped digs. Honestly, one of my favorite things in the game were just the consumables to highlight the different food and drink available to the people of Night City. The heavy population means that foods like fried ants or locust pepperoni are common, amphetamines are available in a variety of flavors, and there are no less than 20 burrito vending machines on every street (the future is not all bad it seems). I like little worldbuilding moments like this in video games because it does give a sense of completion and immersion within the world. I honestly felt bad for Johnny Silverhand, because by the end of the game I had to be a bloated man-ball of Holobites Peach Pie and Cirrus Cola.

The game even took a few things that had aged poorly in the cyberpunk genre and improved them. The Mox is a gang specifically meant to stop the Disposable Sex Worker trope, it’s small and part of the reason it survives is that it’s small, but it offers a chance of improvement over the exploitation that the Tyger Claws offer. The cyberpyscho quest is probably the best one of this. Earlier Cyberpunk had cyberpsychosis as a serious concern directly correlated with how many implants you got. The Solo archetype even spoke about how you risk losing your humanity with your implants as you became stronger, better, faster. Even later iterations had depersonalization/derealization disorders as people who could see in the dark lost connection to those who couldn’t. A quick thought in our present though, changes this. My eyesight and hearing is just fine, but I don’t lose connection or common empathy with individuals who are blind or deaf. I have two arms and two legs and I have not lost empathy for amputees. Why then, would I lose empathy and connection with someone with average human eyesight after I get my eyes replaced and now I have the ability to see in the dark or have telescopic sight? The cyberpsycho quest actually took this concept to task; cyberpsychos around the city are seen as horrifying threats that need the high-threat response of MaxTac to deal with, but Regina is looking to see if she can cure cyberpsychosis. Mechanically, the cyberpsychos are boss-fights with elements of puzzle gameplay (how to handle the different skillsets that they have) and a bonus reward for non-lethal damage which rewards certain playstyle archetypes or prepwork for those who ensure that they have a non-lethal option. The information you find around each cyberpyscho showcase different problems in the target’s life, no real common thread or inciting incident that you can trace the onset of cyberpsychosis toward and identify a culprit. After you complete the quest, you learn the twist: there is no such thing as cyberpsychosis. Each of the targets were actually just experiencing different stressors within their lives, such as PTSD, losing their job, drug abuse, etc. and the breakdown is made much worse because these individuals have the ability to toss dumpsters like they were baseballs or pick the wings off a fly with a cybernetically enhanced brain with a .50 cal. Some of these individuals had terrible implant surgery done by bargain-basement ripperdocs and temporarily lost the ability to discern reality from fantasy, something that could easily be seen as a science fiction adaptation of temporary insanity brought on by a poor reaction to medicine. It’s backed up by the game too. V can fill every slot in their cyberware deck but never once experiences cyberpsychosis. Oda has ultra-legs and flaming-hot mantis blades and is in perfect control at every point in the game, even when he’s trying to jab those mantis blade through your sternum. Cyberpyschosis isn’t real, the irresponsible media just ran with it because fear sells. For all the flaws of the game, I respect the game for taking cyberpsychosis in that direction.

But for all those good things, the game couldn’t help but feel shallower than the Witcher 3. The side-gigs were formulaic to the point where they even led with a category. There were few twists and very little that was surprising. Exposition for these quests was limited to a short text dump and a minute voice-over. Night City was big but it was relatively sparse. NCPD never seemed to intervene in any crimes (giving the character the chance to do so) but every so often they were around a taped-off crime scene, giving a sense of inconsistency that hampered the world. While it was a bustling city, it felt empty, most of the people I saw on the street were meaningless, just NPC’s walking around to give a sense of activity. There was little in the way of things to see and experience that was unique or different about these NPC’s. They weren’t crowds I could hide in like Hitman, they didn’t have ambient dialogue that showcased something like the Witcher 3. Much like other open-world games, this sense of shallowness pervaded much of the empty space of the world; it was incredibly *big* but there was little in it. Much of the time I was driving or running through empty space that was completely worthless to me. Normal for city living, but all of that is wasted time going from point A to point B, and unlike the Witcher 3, there were no small in-game beats to help flesh it out or build it. I never had Millie from “Where the Wolf and Cat Play” give me a little picture, I never had people from a liberated village say “hey, look, it’s that guy Geralt, thanks for killing those harpies.” These were things that made the Witcher 3′s world really come alive. I didn’t have that, and I was left

Of course, we also have to handle the elephant in the room, and that was CDPR’s conduct both during production and after release. Crunch has become an increasingly common part of video game development and it’s not healthy to developers. CDPR had been called out on it once before, but it seemed there was little change in how that happens. I’m not quite sure if there’s anything we can do, and I’m sympathetic to the need to hit target deadlines to actually deliver a finished product, but there’s got to be a better way, whether that’s a change to the incentive structure, or something, because it’s hurting folks. I like games like Witcher 3 and Red Dead Redemption 2, but I understand that there was a real human cost to these masterpieces, and I wonder if there’s something we can do about that.

Similarly, what happened after launch was beyond terrible. The last-gen console version were simply not ready for release and shouldn’t have been released to the public. CDPR openly covered up this, by only previewing the PC version, they hid the fact that the game wasn’t ready, and they avoided delaying the last-gen console version because they were looking to capitalize on holiday sales. I’m sympathetic for the need to generate sales, but the flip of this is that you have to deliver the product you advertise, and for last-gen consoles, they didn’t do so. Bugs are one thing, these games are massive undertakings of interacting systems and bugs are inevitable; some of my favorite games were buggy at release, notably Fallout: New Vegas, Witcher 3, and so on. But this went past bugs and into malpractice and deception, and that’s something that’s less forgivable. I personally had few bugs that were out-and-out game breaking but things not loading, quests bugging out, floating bags and other physics wonkiness, all of that hurt the immersion. I’d be more willing to forgive the game without the deception; I can laugh at bugs but not at ignoring quality control to get holiday sales instead of delivering a quality product. Consumers are angry at CDPR and have every reason to be, and I’m one of them. I can express my disappointment and I will do so, we need developers to stop these practices and the only way we can do that is through our wallets and words. I’m not going to tell anyone not to buy CDPR games, that’s entirely your decision because I’m a radical individualist. But I am going to say that they’ve burned a lot of their good karma with me; credibility is a hard beast to gain back. Much like other big name developers, CDPR has hurt their standing in my eyes. Whether that means I need to resort to going to indie games for a little bit or something else, I don’t know, but it’s rough. I liked CDPR and wanted to believe it’d be different, but it seems to not be the case.

Overall, I think it’s another AAA open-world game only made better by my love of the genre, and that stings. I enjoyed some aspects of it, and I hope that through Free DLC, patching, and other good deeds, the game can redeem itself and stimulate new love of the genre. But CDPR needs to do a lot more than that to win back my affection. If anyone has anything specifically that they want to know about the game, such as talk about the main story, individual characters, or so on, just ask.

Thanks for the question, Khef.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#video game reviews #cyberpunk 2077

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noknockingonmydoor · 3 years

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Headcanon

Semi-related tidbits on Heaven’s Door, Rohan’s isolation, obsession with reality, Pink Dark Boy, Koichi, interpersonal relationships. (warning: this is long)

You know how, at first, Araki said Rohan got his Stand after being pierced with the arrow during DiU, but then later on in Rohan at the Louvre he’s shown being adamant on not using his power to read people on Nanase back when he was 17? Yeah... lemme expand on how I see it.

He developed the power way before the events of DiU, but he had no idea what it was, or how to use it properly. Back then, it wasn’t even a Stand as we know them, just a latent power gradually getting developed in his subconsciousness, as his passion for using art as a form of authentic self-expression grew. He had no control on when and how to use it--it would just... sort of happen, mostly whenever he was really interested in someone/something--kind of like with Nanase, since, at that point, he was starting to get really interested in women and growing aware of his sexuality. (Also, she showed him kindness and genuine interest, which he craved back then--more on that at some other point, probs.) He legit thought he was insane and hallucinating the first time his powers happened and he never told anyone about it, because he didn’t want to be ostracised even more than he already was. Eventually, he accepted it as proof that he was special, meant for great things, and superior to all those who undermined him.

Oh, wait-- what’s that? People undermining, ostracising the great Rohan Kishibe? That was a thing? It’s more likely than you think.

Prior to getting famous, Rohan didn’t have a lot of life experience. For one, his childhood is an ominous big black hole in his memories, and he was homeschooled for the majority of it--by some very strict tutors, chosen by his parents... until he drove off every single one of them. The little time he spent in a more public, yet respectable educational environment as a teenager, he didn’t seem to fit in, as he didn’t know how to behave, what to talk about, how to react to things happening, what was acceptable, what was not. Not that he had anyone to talk about these things with, since his parents were always too busy, and he didn’t feel like talking about it with some unhelpful therapist. He was so sick of those. Many of his peers were quick to brand him a weirdo and avoid him, if they didn’t outright mock him about his shut-in lifestyle, his appearance, his interests--anything at all, really. Admittedly, it stung to be treated that way, but he didn’t want it to be obvious, so he shielded himself with displays of arrogance and lack of care for their opinions, which later escalated into an impressive amount of narcissism. It only made those same people resent him more, but they mostly left him alone... save for the few who saw through it and kept on provoking him. Once he’d finally had enough, he went off on them so hard that he almost got punched in the face and caused an incident that almost got him expelled, if it weren’t for his parents meddling in to pull some strings. (Ironically, Rohan would later on drop out in his final year, and cut out all contact with his parents. Whoops. More on his relationship with his parents at some other point)

He showed no remorse at all for his actions, which earned him both fear and respect from various individuals. He was sent to some more psychologists who didn’t help (always telling him what to think, believe, feel, as if his way of perceiving, existing wasn’t valid--which prompted his own interest and interpretation of various psychological phenomenoms), made to do extra work that only further goaded him to misbehave--nobody ever seemed to listen to him, or put an effort to understand where he was coming from. All they seemed to care about was shaping him to fit into a mold he never even wanted to fill, so he grew very resentful and mistrustful of people trying to butt in on his damn business. Feeling helpless in escaping this constricting reality, he’d often escape to his own, alternate reality, which kept him same throughout all these life’s trials. The world of Pink Dark Boy. He didn’t remember when he first came up with the character, or the world, or the story, but he had a feeling it had always been a huge part of him... and, at some point, he decided he wanted it published, revealed, shared with the world. And when Rohan Kishibe decides he really wants something... he doesn’t falter.

The earliest chapters of his work are very grimdark and edgy, because that’s how he felt while making them. Very authentic, and gut-wrenching, and believable, and terrifying and intriguing--was how the critics described it later on. Yet... there was only so much inspiration he could draw from his own experience, and retain this flattering reputation without circling around the same subjects, themes he was familiar with over and over again. At that point, he went off the rails a bit, and let his curiosity, need to know, to learn, loose far more than was wise, because he wanted to rapidly, almost forcefully, gain experience, knowledge, skill just so he could keep up with his work, and the supposed demands of his new fans (actually, his own impossible standards and demands). It worked, for a time, before he was burned out to the point of nearly losing his mind--which brings us to the events of DiU, when on a fateful whim he decided to move to Morioh, in an attempt to reconnect with his unknown childhood self, find peace, regain his mind in a town much smaller than Tokyo, where he’d lived most of his life... only to be stabbed by an arrow (possibly at his own request... lmao), and fully awaken Heaven’s Door.

It felt so, so validating to finally have a name, and an explanation for this power, however vague it was. And when he realised that he could control it, and the possibilities that such a power opened? He completely fucking lost whatever common sense he had in his euphoria, which explains his extreme behaviour when he first met Koichi (willingness to alter his memories, kidnap him, kill him, also licking that fucking spider and punching himself in the face and JUST. EVERYTHING). If he couldn’t use his own limited knowledge of reality, he would steal it from whoever he deemed worthy, interesting, moving, etc--and Koichi’s pure, unrelenting kindness and courage and willpower was so, so wonderful, beautiful, worthy, inspiring to Rohan, which is why he latched onto the other so intensely. I believe this weird, weird friendship was very unhealthy at the beginning because of how needy and demanding Rohan can be and how much of a pushover Koichi can be, but later on Koichi figures out how Rohan works and how to put him in his place. It’s simple--once you have Rohan’s respect, he’ll submit and own up to his behaviour if you call him out on it. Kind of like at the end of DiU, when Rohan made fun of Reimi and acted all tsundere during their goodbyes, until Koichi gave him That Look and Rohan confessed his true feelings. He just... he really admires, respects, trusts Koichi. He feels it in his guts it’s safe, right to do so. He relies a lot on his gut feelings, because they rarely fail him.

Koichi was probably Rohan’s first actual friend--not that he never had any meaningful relationships before, they just never stuck around long enough because Rohan never felt the need to invest himself too much into maintaining anything with anyone. He’s just very picky. In the rare event that he did try, it wasn’t reciprocated, or he just lost interest after finding one (1) flaw he didn’t like. He was just fine being on his own, doing his own thing, before hanging out with Koichi, stalking him observing his interactions with others and the world around him awoke inside of Rohan the wistful need to connect with someone on a deeper level. The need to experience genuine friendship, understanding, trust, giving something away without demanding something in return, looking past one’s flaws and accepting them, and allowing himself the vulnerability of it going both ways. All very, very foreign things, ones he’d convinced himself he was above experiencing, but a necessary part of being happy, fulfilled, real--something Rohan had missed out on in his life-long state of self-absorbed isolation--both forced and self-imposed.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE thoughts I have on all of these subjects and I’ll probs elaborate at some point but I think this is enough for now lmfao bye. To end things, allow me to present one of my fave Rohan panels which kind of inspired all this

Rohan in love? Did you mean: yet another thing I’ll probs write about at some point

#here have this word vomit that might or might not make sense. idk. just here it is #hc : you may not like my integrity

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purpledinosaur1988 · 3 years

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Ever been in one of those situations where you put your trust in the wrong person. Yeah me to. I used to be "friends" with this female who turned out to be TOXIC! She caused so many problems in my life to a point where she would use me to lie for her, watch her brat of a child. When I met my husband back in 2014, the toxic female would try her best to break me and him up. It was early days in our relationship and she would always expect me to drop everything including date night plans to help her out of sticky situations. After seeing the effects of how miserable I was being made to feel, my husband eventually got me to walk away from the toxic female and finally be happy. I felt so much better without being associated with her. We never spoke again, would avoid each other in public etc. Fast for to a few months ago, I was waiting on a bus to work, she approached me trying to use my child as a pawn to win back "friendship" by telling me that my son's nan had passed away, saying I was to unblock her as she missed me. Obviously I didn't unblock her from my socials and the next time I saw my son I asked his uncle how his mum (my son's nan) was and that I hadn't seen her in awhile, he answered saying she is still struggling with the whole pandemic but is much better than before. That cleared that up. The toxic female told me a malicious lie. I mean has she no better things to be getting on with than trying to get me to fall for her BS 🐂💩 again.

My life has improved massively over the years I have been with my husband, we met in 2014, engaged in 2015 & married in 2016. I don't have a big circle of friends and I am okay with that as I would rather surround myself with those who are positive influences to me. Those friends hold a special place in my heart ♥️ I have my 2 best friends who I have been friends with since high school so they are more like Sisters to me.

If anyone feels there are red flags in your life with certain people. Please don't ignore them as you deserve to be happy.

Signs to look out for

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you’re in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don’t seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don’t find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can’t believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies and excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don’t require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It is never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you are scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You are seeking answers to a feeling you cannot quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like “I have never felt so happy in my life” in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they’re the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They will not care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else’s for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner’s version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they’re two hours late, do not forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they’ve forgotten who they’re supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It is always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just does not seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of “crazy” people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you are self-conscious about your looks, they will call you the sexiest person in the world. If you have got a need to entertain, they will say you’re the funniest person they have ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you are wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don’t even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror.

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they’ll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind, and cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it’s your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath’s soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all.

We can find that normal and loving people do not raise any of these flags. After a negative encounter, most survivors face the struggle of hypervigilance: who can really be trusted? Our gauge will swing back and forth for a while, like a volatile pendulum. We all wonder if we have gone absolutely mad for wanting to believe the best in an old friend or a new date, but also feeling sick to the stomach when actually spending time with them.

It is important to develop our intuition, but that is a personal process. The world is mostly full of good people, and we suffer a double punishment if we miss them due to the fear of being hurt again.

People need to set aside some time to get in touch with their feelings, and become comfortable with a balance of awareness and trust. The reflection offers understanding about our emotions. It helps provide understanding for which old relationships need to be refreshed, and which toxic patterns need to be abandoned and replaced by healthier ones.

Society conditions us to ask “does this person like me” instead of exercising critical thinking and asking “do I like this person?”

#toxic people #toxic frienship #manipulative #red flags #don't ignore this #alerts #trust your instincts

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ryanmeft · 5 years

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Five Thoughts: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

NOTE: this piece contains spoilers. This is your only warning. 1

There’s a cottage industry of films that cater to nostalgia for an older time, and accordingly load themselves up with retro props. Tarantino does this to a degree, but he paints with it. Relatively long stretches of the film are given over to views of Hollywood streets of 1969, and you can appreciate these shots for their artistry even if, like me, you weren’t even a thought at the time. They aren’t played in the hazy, romantic way of a movie designed to trigger memories, which is often a way to cover up a screenplay’s laziness. The signs, marquees, clothes, cars and various miscellaneous accoutrements are gaudy, lavish, and just over-the-top enough without being ridiculous. The film’s look, handled by Tarantino’s regular collaborator Robert Richardson, portrays the excesses of that era as they were.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt share something in common: the older they get, the farther away from heartthrob status they move, the better they become as actors. DiCaprio’s role here is washed-up TV cowboy Rick Dalton, one of those names that was probably not his real one. His former show, Bounty Law, is fictional, but bears all the hallmarks of a western TV show of that era, from the overwrought narration to the way DiCaprio poses heroically before dramatically shooting men down; his opponents are polite enough not to fire until he’s done. Off-screen, he’s an alcoholic who rages at himself more than anyone else, at one point talking to himself in a mirror and threatening his reflection. There’s an extended scene with DiCaprio and a child actor (Julia Butters) that is obviously more Tarantino talking than the characters, but which is fascinating for the same reason the conversation about socks in Million Dollar Baby was: instead of rushing headlong through the plot, it takes time for people just to be people who talk about what they’re reading and how they feel. DiCaprio nails it perfectly, and you actually feel something for this louse.

Pitt, too, seems to have begun to embrace his age, and here uses it to the advantage of his character, Cliff Booth, a stuntman and Rick’s friend, who never got very far in the stunt business due to his cockiness and the impression (never confirmed or denied) that he murdered his wife. If Rick is our window on old Hollywood excess, Cliff is our every man, the person most of us would be---in fact, the person most of us would be lucky to be---if we had chased dewy-eyed dreams to Los Angeles. I suspect Pitt, 55, is not wearing much make-up, allowing his age to show. He has the hangdog look of a working class man who routinely shakes his head at the world he’s found himself in.

Tarantino’s love of trash film is on full display. Said Roger Ebert, paraphrasing Pauline Kael, “The movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we may as well not go.” Tarantino appreciates great trash. I got much amusement simply out of the titles of the movies invented to fill out Dalton’s filmography. The Five Fists of McCluskey. Red Blood, Red Skin. Kill Me Now Ringo, Said the Gringo. Italian film is deservedly renowned for quality, but like any well-formed person, it can laugh at itself, too, and bears a dual reputation for wonderfully satisfying garbage, be it low-budget spaghetti westerns or the fantastically cheesy and exploitative Giallo films. America isn’t spared, either. Bounty Law seems to exist to poke gentle fun at how terrible those old TV shows were (sorry, dad), and Tarantino even sticks DiCaprio into The Great Escape, a classic film that, as we see, could never be made with modern acting styles. Perhaps my favorite use of this was one few will mark: DiCaprio dancing on a 60’s/70’s style variety show that will make anyone under 50 think “They really would watch anything back then.”

You may be going to this film simply because it is Tarantino making it, or because it’s refreshing to have something to see at the multiplex that isn’t made by Disney. You may also be aware that it is set around the events of the real-life Tate-LaBianca murders. Rick and Cliff mostly flirt with the edges of the Manson cult. One of Tarantino’s gifts as a writer here is that he reminds us that as the murders were being planned, life went on elsewhere. Manson himself shows up very briefly, Rick and Cliff pass Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate as they drive, and people such as Steve McQueen and Mama Cass show up for a few minutes or even a fleeting few seconds. Tarantino puts the events in context, even if it is in service of his obsessive need for pop culture references. There are, however, two scenes which bring us closer to the real events. In one, Tate, played by Margot Robbie as an ordinary woman and not a walking tragedy, visits a theatre to watch one of her own movies; I believe the film, The Wrecking Crew, is shown in its original form, with the actual Tate, and certainly the actual Dean Martin. In the second, Pitt’s Cliff visits the Manson ranch to check on a friend, and it is one of those scenes where Tarantino proves he is more than shock. Expertly planned in the style of Hitchcock, the tension builds unbearably, and terrible consequences are thwarted only narrowly and by good fortune.

Like Inglourious Basterds, the film is revisionist history, and if you saw that one you might have some idea how this one ends. Surely, scolds and nags will wave their fingers at Tarantino over the fact that Cliff and Rick (and dog Brandy) prevent the Tate-LaBianca murders by killing the would-be assailants; it won’t improve their impressions that it happens in the most brutal way possible, with every bit of Tarantino’s penchant for over-the-top violence on display. Of course, if the director cared what his detractors thought, he wouldn’t be him. Whatever you think of the scene, there is no doubt it is perfectly and hilariously executed; the laughter of the audience comes not just from the insane nature of the violence, but from the admitted cathartic thrill. Tarantino is allowing us to see what is a major fantasy of most of us: the ability to go back in time and prevent a horrific act while visiting that same intended brutality on the perpetrators. It is the “If you could kill baby Hitler” quandary, except for Tarantino there doesn’t seem to be any moral hesitation; the Manson family is ripped to shreds in ways even the most vengeful would-be vigilante can scarcely conjure. The film then ends on a wistful note, as Tate and her friends get to go on with their night as though nothing happened. The director gave us this as well when he blew up the entire Nazi high command in Basterds, and with the satisfaction of a former slave getting to visit his wrath upon slavers in Django Unchained. If one of the roles of fiction is to explore things we want but cannot have in a flawed world, Tarantino often succeeds.

#leonardo dicaprio #brad pitt #Quentin Tarantino #movies #margot robbie #once upon a time in hollywood

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evakuality · 5 years

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Let’s talk about David (and Matteo, but mainly David)

A long time ago in a fandom not so far away I used to do this sort of thing all the time. But then I stopped for various reasons and didn’t think I’d start again. And yet here I am: I’ve fallen deeply in love with yet another fictional character and I want to talk about him. About what I see makes him tick, the things that work well for him with his chosen partner, what is less great, and about why that makes him such an interesting and unique character despite having his roots in another character from that same not-so-far-away fandom. None of this is new, and I synthesized most of it from what other people have said, but I am nothing if not verbose and chatty when I have a new love.

So. David. Aka Beanie Boy, aka the new light of my life. That sounds really over the top, doesn’t it? Like he’s this perfect being who can do no wrong. And to be honest I think the show is trying to push that a little in some ways. Because Matteo, who is our PoV for this season, is so deeply enamored of him that he can’t really admit there are flaws. But if we dig a little deeper I think we can see a lot of nuance in this character already, and if it goes like the other versions I expect we’ll see more as we go along. So. Who is David and what do we know about him?

First, he really is the perfect foil for Matteo. Matteo is (a lot of the time anyway) very closed off and reticent, very hesitant to do anything. He calls himself lazy but I’m not sure that’s exactly what’s going on. He is very much going through the motions and refusing to risk anything at all. It’s all, as many other people have pointed out, ‘what do you want me to do because that’s what I’ll do’ as opposed to asking himself what he wants to do. And the thing about David is that he sees that because he’s very observant. I would have said he was observant where Matteo is concerned but I actually think he sees a lot of other things as well. The fact that he could tell at a glance how to get into the abandoned building with the pool suggests he’s used to noticing details. And so he notices Matteo’s details, in a way that I don’t think a lot of other people do. So what makes him such a good foil is how he approaches that. Many people might, when faced with someone like Matteo, force them to ‘do stuff’ and be active and energetic. David doesn’t, despite being a very athletic, energetic person himself. He does what he does very quietly. He goes ahead (a lot; so many times he’s the one out the front either physically or metaphorically) then turns and waits for Matteo. There’s no push, no ‘you have to do this’ but there is a challenge. He pauses a lot and lets Matteo make his choices but in a way that doesn’t suggest that he expects Matteo to do it too. More that he’s enjoying the thing and wants to share it with Matteo. Dares him to take a chance but so gently that there’s no real pressure and when he waits it’s very patiently. There’s a sense that he’s happy just being there and will stand there forever and not get tired.

Matteo isn’t all that conversational either, is so much in his head that he doesn’t seem to want or need to talk all that much. It seems like it’s probably that there’s too much that’s shitty for him that he just can’t bring himself to let anything out in case it all comes back to bite him. So David’s calm helps Matteo here too. Again, by his nature he’s quiet and not pushy and Matteo seems to respond to that. He’s willing to be open and vulnerable (sharing his drawings etc) and so that allows Matteo to also be open. David’s very non judgemental style gives Matteo the confidence to be a little more comfortable sharing his more fearful or anxious thoughts. His humor fits with Matteo’s as well. The suggestion that he had to go on the run after killing someone (and potentially his parents too) is quite dark and it allows Matteo to feel like his darker impulses, his fears and worries, aren’t going to be a problem. These two aren’t very alike in many ways but in this respect they have a lot in common. Their humor is offbeat and a little silly. They like to push and shove each other, they aren’t all about being ‘nice’ (think the fingers they pull, and ‘fuck you’ and the ‘it’s called collage’ etc) -- and all of that makes Matteo feel comfortable because he’s fine as his messy, not all that together self. He’s accepted and seen. And that again goes back to David and the way he notices things and how careful he is with that knowledge once he has it.

So, those are the reasons why David is such a good partner for Matteo. Well, those and the fact that Matteo clearly thinks he’s very attractive which is also always a good thing in your partner. There is so much more to him too, of course. He’s artistic and sensitive, but he’s also very athletic and enjoys being sporty. He’s competitive and daring in a lot of ways and he uses all of those things to allow him to impress and get closer to Matteo. These are all great things, and he really does work well with Matteo both as a friend and as a partner.

But the thing is that there are layers to David and while he genuinely is a great partner for Matteo, there are some problems that are obviously starting to get in the way of their perfect happiness. The biggest of those is how very closed David is with his own thoughts and fears. While he has been open about his art and been so vulnerable with it, he doesn’t really let anything else out. I can’t quite see David ever saying things are going to shit, or at least not yet. He’s too closed for that. Now we can speculate forever about why he’s so closed but the fact remains that David is very careful with the sorts of things he says. He’s happy to be silly and dumb with Matteo and open up that way, letting himself look like an idiot if he needs to. He’ll tease and laugh but he won’t really let Matteo in to his deepest worries. Unlike Matteo, at this point I can’t see David allowing his tears to show in a moment of vulnerability. That’s obviously symbolized when he says he’d go somewhere alone in a natural catastrophe. He’s so scared to let people in that he’ll run away, literally and figuratively, even from someone he really likes. As has been pointed out before, it’s really telling that he thinks Matteo lives alone. Matteo lives with other people, but David is so wary and closed from his fellow people that to him if it’s not family it’s alone.

The other thing people have speculated about is that he’s been quite distant a lot. Matteo has reached out (quite uncharacteristically in a lot of ways) and David often holds back. The very calm that is so peaceful and good for Matteo is also a problem here. David’s very non-pushy and non-confrontational personality means that he’s still opaque. To us an an audience, obviously, but also to Matteo. We can learn a lot from the way he is: he exudes confidence a lot of the time (particularly on display when he takes Matteo to the abandoned building for kissing purposes), but he also shows a wary, nervous side. This is endearing (and we can see how endeared Matteo is by it), but it does make him reticent, though in a different way to Matteo. David, as he says himself, is happy alone, happy in his own company. Because of this, David retreats if things get too much. He leaves Matteo’s home in episode 2, he doesn’t text back etc. Because we know where this is probably going in terms of story moments, I think we can accept that for David to pull back this week is perfectly in character, whatever the reason why he might do that.

The thing is that while David genuinely is the perfect partner for Matteo (and vice versa, and I think we’ll keep seeing that as we go on) he’s got a lot of his own growing to do before they are going to be able to be happy together. I have no idea what the big issue will be between them, but I am fairly sure that both of them have to learn some stuff before they can really revel in what they can have together. It’s not just Matteo who has issues here, and I’m really excited to see where this takes David as well. The interesting thing here is that he has a lot of similar traits to Even (avoidant, closed about parts of himself, fun and enjoys joking and being silly etc) and yet the end result is a very different character with very different strengths and weaknesses.

#druck #my meta stuff

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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June 17th-June 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 17th, 2019 to June 23rd, 2019. The chat focused on Heart of Keol by keiiii.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Heart of Keol by keiiii~! (https://www.heartofkeol.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 23rd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Do you believe Danbi’s mom is at the Heart of Keol? If so, will she even want to see Danbi? If not, where else could she be? Overall, what consequences do you think Danbi will face in his attempts to reunite with his mother?

FeatheryJustice

1. My favourite scene so far from what I have read, is the toilet scene. Glowing toilet moss is the best part about it, who doesn't want to poop into the golden throne XD

AshAngelV

1. I'll have to come back to. 2. I'm bracing myself in case she's dead, or worse. Assuming death or worse doesn't happen, I think she'll be mad that he put himself in danger to find her, but also be glad to see him. I kinda don't think she's in the heart, and I'm sure his looking is going to cause all sorts of trouble for him and the rest of the party.

MJ Massey

I don't think she's dead, but I think something else happened to her that she isn't around anymore, like she went to another dimension or something

keii4ii

(hi everyone)

Tuyetnhi

hewwo~

oh ye, for no. 1...gotta rumminate lol. there's a ton of scenes I liked that I can't call out a favorite just yet lol

kayotics

1. I think I need to go back and reread since I feel like I read it all in a fever dream and went through it so quickly that it all meshed together, but I loved it a lot. I remember Ethan meeting the other earth person really well and loving her a lot, but I also remember liking the scenes with the train. There’s a lot of good scenes and they all pull different emotional chords.

Tuyetnhi

yee I agree

kayotics

2. If Danbi’s mom is there I’d gather that there’s something seriously wrong with the situation. But I think that Danbi’s mom will be at the heart. There’s a lot of themes about parents (lost parents, reuniting with parents, flawed parents) that I think she’ll be there but not what Danbi expects.

Delphina

1. Favorite scene: BIG KITTY HUGS https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/025-14/

Kabocha

Aaaaah, that's definitely one of my favorite scenes... I honestly love the kitty hugs scene as well as the one that just finished: https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/028-09/ When I saw this I needed to scream a little because it was just... like.. a "holy shit" moment. THAT EXPLAINS A LOT but now I am extremely worried for Ethan's emotional health :'D As far as Danbi's mom... I... dunno. I kind of had her written off as more of a motivation to start the trip, but not so much a part of the destination. I think she might be dead, or perhaps helping "preserve" Keol. ...So I don't think it's going to be a good meeting as far as "Wtf is going on" but a good meeting as far as seeing how people change when there's a long time.... especially if you think you know them. I'm seriously torn though -- I think whatever's happened to her, we're going to get a hint about it, and it's gonna come from Lu. And it's gonna compound the heartbreak that I see coming on the horizon...

Desnik

Oh I really love this one, but there's a page I remember that has this awesome use of 3-point perspective to insinuate a spiritual journey from one plane to another, let me see if I can find it again

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Who or what is the red hoodie kid, and what is their connection to Ethan? What might they have to do with Ethan’s latent Dokkabi powers? What is the significance of their facial mark give it matches the queen’s?

MJ Massey

Crack theory on red hoodie kid they're Ethan's dad from the past but that is probably not at all correct

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene is the one where Ethan princess carries Lu away from all the octopus being cooked. I enjoy it was partly just hilarious seeing Ethan's overreaction, but also emotionally significant for Lu cause Lu got to see how much the giant doofus cares for him. 2) I think Danbi's mom was at the Heart but is there no longer. And i think Danbi will end up meeting someone who knew his mom instead of his mom directly. Frankly I assume she is dead and that Danbi is gonna have to go through the emotional trainwreck of accepting that the trip and everything he went through was for nothing except for answers. And while I'm sure Danbi will try to play it off as if just the closure is fine, I really don't think it will be. I think it'll be this bottled up thing that eventually explodes into an emotional mess that needs janitors to clean up.

RebelVampire

3) Lushaka. He is a giant cat. I really don't need to say anymore. Cats are best. 4) Assuming Ethan's dad was in Keol and an illegal Dokkabi as was implied, I think the red hoodie kid is a manifestation of the wyrm that the dad ate. And that it somehow passed to Ethan cause there is no illegal Dokkabi lore that says this isnt possible yet. So Ethan always had the powers, he just could never use them. As for the facial marking, I think it's just a mystical symbol of the wyrm's power. And the queen has it cause she was just a super good dokkabi all along or something.

kayotics

3. My fav is Lushaka, but it’s because he’s kind of emotionally constipated and is trying to not show he has feelings and I love characters like that.

4. I’m not much of a theorizer, but if I remember right, there was mention of a king that was supposed to appear? My initial thought on that information was that the kid was the upcoming king

MJ Massey

I think Ethan is my favorite. He's not what I would have expected as a main character for this kind of story, but that's what I really love. And he also has a good heart. He's someone I'd want to be friends with

keii4ii

Emotional constipation and emotional mess janitors... giving a whole new meaning to The Shining Outhouse (HoK's discord server name)

kayotics

Keiiii, I gotta tell you I love emotionally constipated characters

NeilKapit

Great choice for this week. I’ll re-read Keol from the beginning to discuss it properly.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you think Adela will do given she just narrowly escaped from hunters? Additionally, who is the woman who saved Adela, and what could she possibly want from her? How will this tie into the rest of the story?

AshAngelV

5. I've really liked the illustrations of Ethan's soulscape (I guess is what you'd call it). They combine Keii's glowy magics with deep symbolism and heartbreaking moments (like when the stump burns). So many levels of epic.

keii4ii

Both of my favorite scenes have not been drawn yet due to Webcomic Time™. But one of them is actually coming up very soon! I'm drawing a set of scenes that lead directly up to it. Among the scenes that have been drawn/posted, I like this one... not so much as a favorite scene, but more like, "this is what HoK is about." https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/013-04/ And the whole of chapter 25-26, especially Danbi's reaction here. https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/026-06/ I guess the common thread there is the weaving of love and deep, bitter let-down.

(Just noticed "common thread" and "weaving" ... Pun not intended )

NeilKapit

As I’m reading through it it’s off to a great start. A lot of subtle character works that’s showing not telling, hinting at Ethan’s troubles.

snuffysam

5) Illustrations I like - any time magic gets used, specifically Dokkabi magic. The way the colors play off each other, the way the lighting affects the scene, and the amount of character that gets revealed through the form of the magic... it's all incredible.

surfKraken

Recently I've reread HoK after following it since it showed up on Tapas, and it's a rock solid favorite.

I guess what I like is it's originality #1

and #2 that it moves at its own pace and does its own thing.

I know that sounds generic but that's the best I can do after just getting home from a long day☁️

I don't have the energy to type all the feelings I have about the characters and presentation lol

They are as good as it gets for me in webcomics. there!

Tuyetnhi

5) ahhh I have to say Lu's tenticles lmao. I was caught off gaurd when he just woosh them out. I also like how they're rendered. but I do agree with snuffysam about the magic displayed and used in various instances.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think the queen is hunting for Elyeo and locking them up? Is it for their own good, or is something sinister going on? What might this have to do with her destined mate who is supposedly a red-haired, male Elyeo?

RebelVampire

5) https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/021-05/ The big second to last panel on this page. I love the lighting and the poses and the details like Ethan's body hair. everything comes together to create a really intimate moment that makes me squee. Especially the lighting though. Like even though Ethan and Lu had special moments between them before, this was the moment that made me tear up on the inside. 6) my crack theory is that its Danbi's mom disguised somehow. And she just magically sense Adela knew where her son is. my more serious theory is that the lady also wants to go to the heart and needs a guide. And ya know, clearly Adela knows the way. Which I think inevitably that's the path. Everyone gotta go to the heart for a "happy" reunion where there will be no drama and everyone will just have tea and cake. happy happy rainbows.

7) Ethan and Lu cause they are the OTP. Cause every part I'm like "how will you should you care about each other this time." and then I'm surprised and cry on the inside. 8) I think the queen has basically gotten impatient and lonely. And now that she knows her mate is a male Elyeo, shes keeping all Elyeo's to watch for his birth. So basically she has a little sinister breeding facility going on.

keii4ii

Been loving reading everyone's thoughts so far! @kayotics mentioned that there's a lot of themes about parents, and it's true! For many characters, a parent is the one person you can expect to love you even when the rest of the world is going bad/crazy. Messing with that expectation, uprooting it, seeing what grows from where it was uprooted... That's a big part of the story. @Delphina I'm so happy to see love for that scene! I think that was where I started feeling more clear-headed about the story. Like the story finally found itself. Maybe not at that exact point, but somewhere around there. @Kabocha Extreme worries for Ethan's emotional health is 100% justified at this point in the story. The characters are gonna run straight through a busy 8-lane highway, metaphorically, and only Lushaka is aware of it. He's hoping they can make it without getting hit by a car........

@Desnik Oooh did you mean this page? https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/001-04a/ @MJ Massey I can TOTALLY see you and Ethan getting along splendidly!

Kabocha

With the current page that's gone up since chat started... I am screaming. I don't think lu laughing really portends anything good at this point. Aaaaaa But I'm looking forward to seeing the emotional traffic jam that occurs.

keii4ii

Lu worries about cars and trucks, then a freaking Boeing 777 comes crashing onto that highway

...maybe

Kabocha

... oh no. So what you're saying is we're going to end up with the emotional version of that plotline of ghost whisperer, where nobody involved in the emotional 777 realizes that's what happened, so they're trying to be all normal but nothing is right and they're all a wreck

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Why do you think the Xi people are so mistreated? Given the dangers, is Ethan’s sympathy warranted, or do you believe he should be more careful? How might all this play a role as the group gets closer to the Heart of Keol?

AshAngelV

Ugh, missed most of the week cause brain dead from work. 9. Keii's use of reflections in eyes is on point and adds a subtle layer to deep scenes. 10. Probably a mix of racism and longstanding grudges. And I think Ethan should be more careful in general. Dude is way too nice/trusting for his own good. It'll probably cause conflict between him and Lu cause Lu is the exact opposite and might end up getting frustrated.

RebelVampire

9) I really love the body hair, I gotta say. Cause usually that's something left out with more painterly styles like this, and yet it's there and I can tell exactly what it is. And I just appreciate that the time is taken to add it in even when it doesn't necessarily add anything to the scenes in question. 10) Probably the age ol' tale of one person did something bad, whole group got blamed, rinse and repeat until everyone hates everyone. Ethan 1000% needs to be more careful. His sympathy is admirable, but it's gonna get him stabbed in the butt. There is just too much hate and past history, and it's gonna take more than Ethan's kindness to overcome that. Cause I don't think Ethan will figure out he needs to earn their trust until it's much too late and just kind of think being kind is enough. As for the Xi people's overall role, I think as they get closer to the heart, they're gonna be in more danger. But more than the risk of danger, I think Ethan is going to be changed and want to talk to the queen or something. And say hey, stop being a dick. And then the queen will be like, who tf are you strange giant man.

MJ Massey

9. keiiii is such a master of light but I also enjoy how her impressionistic brush strokes bring patterns to life as well. Each frame is a masterpiece. I was lucky enough to win a wall scroll from her and it's one of my favorite art pieces I have at home

Desnik

@keii4ii yup!! thats the one

NeilKapit

OK, the Unofficial Voice Casting for Heart of Keol

Ethan is Patrick Seitz

Danbi is Susan Dailan

Lushaka is Liam O’Brian

Hana is Cristina Vee

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Do you believe the assumptions are correct that Ethan’s dad had been to Keol and was an illegal Dokkabi? If not, what is your alternate theory? If so, how will this revelation affect Ethan’s well-being both physically and emotionally?

AshAngelV

11. Beautiful glowy magics and just under the surface tension/feelings that pop out and murder you emotionally. 12. I do think that's the case. And it could be that it'll send him looking for the piece of his father that didn't come home. (In a literal or metaphorical way.) It'll probably call this world into question, because what kind of world calls his father a criminal? Also it confirms that it is possible to return, but then what if it damages his mind the way his father's was. So, I imagine it'll wreck Ethan emotionally, which then would activate the magic potentially harming him physically.

Respheal

I'm finally catching up so I can answer questions (busy week aaaaaaaa) but the scene with the rainbow right after the Two Fools in the Rain chapter ends......In my heart of hearts I'm hoping Lu is purring so hard in that scene

"I'm not a housecat. -purrrrrr purrrrrrr-"

AshAngelV

Some big cats do pur.

Respheal

ah ha okay I'm caught up now 1. I'm a total sucker for two things: isekai, and characters with hidden powers. HoK tickles those both, BUT it approaches them from an original angle. For one, a significant portion of the world is also a newcomer to the world, so that's neat, and then the hidden powers aren't like.....the big deal. They're more spice in the curry that is the story. That said, I really enjoyed the calming down Ethan part of the train scene because on one hand, hidden powers get hyped and on the other it was one of the first definite "Awwww" moments between Lu and Ethan

2. Heck I have no idea anymore. I just can't even guess at this point xD 3. Ethan? Probably??? He's just a good wholesome boy, and he needs a hug :') 4. aaaaaaaaaaaa I don't knoooooow I had guesses but they keep going out the window so at this point I'm just along for the ride xD I thought the kid might've actually been the queen at one point but I don't know anymore

5. -croaks- so many? The opening illustration is gorgeous so that's one way to start a comic xD Keii4ii's lighting has been phenomenal throughout(edited)

everything is so glowy and shiny

12. And yeah, the idea of Ethan's dad having been to Keol? Hold up. If that's true, I guess that means the gates aren't one-way after all, so that has some interesting implications for Ethan's potential return home in the future (will he take that option if it becomes available? Good question ) But also...I don't think it would impact Ethan's opinion of him all that much? It wasn't what happened to his family, it's that it happened at all, and the way it impacted them. Although yeah for sure it has some scary possibilities for Ethan's own well being if he can't control the Dokkabi power But he's got Lu so it'll be alright.....right?

keii4ii

aaaaaaa

Summary of my feelings:

AshAngelV

Lol

Not really sure what emotion is associated with tentacles.

keii4ii

One way to interpret the tenta is wiggly

AshAngelV

Haha

NeilKapit

Just occurred to me that Heart of Keol is an isekai, even though it predates that genre’s recent surge in popularity

It’s much better than most of what I’ve seen in that anime genre, since the characters are much more complicated and authentic

It’s a story involving a troubled young man spirited away to an alternate fantasy world that prompts him to work through his problems while trying to find his way back

Though I suppose stranger in a strange land stories are far, far, FAR older

keii4ii

Thank you! Yeah, I think HoK is only technically an isekai. While it fits the definition, it doesn't fit the expectations, for better or worse. And it wasn't because I was trying to make "an isekai... but different!" I just made the story the way I saw it, and the similarities as well as differences are kinda coincidental.

The story is what it is.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Why do you think the Hornets are interested in Danbi? Do you think Lushaka will be able to go through with his betrayal? How will this betrayal affect his growing relationship with Ethan?

ShaRose49

I think maaaybe Danbi is more powerful than he seems? Or maybe there’s another reason they’re interested in him, maybe it has to do with his mother. I’m just spitballing here. I just wanna say that the art for this comic is breathtaking, and danbi’s expressions are so soft and gentle

AshAngelV

13. I'm looking forward to Ethan finding out his Dad was in Keol. Not sure if it's excitement, or dread, though. Lol 14. I think it has something to do with the future king. I don't think Lu would be able to go through with it if it'd obviously hurt Ethan, but if he thought he could get away with it, he might. If he were to kill Danbi and Ethan found out about it, I think that'd end their relationship completely.

Jonny Aleksey

I've just read through every 2019 update. I've most definitely missed important stuff but I really wanted to participate in CTP seeing as I keep missing it. 1. Ch27-9. Post hair cutting. It looks beautiful. Such amazing angles for such an emotional scene. This is a mark of a good comic. They art told me the gravity of what happened even thou I didn't know much about the hair situation. 2. The flashback said that hair dye doesn't work on Danbi's mom so unless she can hide, it's unlikely. Might even lead to an emotional gut-punch. 3. I like Ethan. I guess I like semi-clueless but heartwarming goofs . Also he's from Jersey. That's pretty cool.

Jonny Aleksey

5. Probably Ch27-9 again. The angle and detail is great but it's probably the colors. This comic's bright colors are eye candy. 8. Again, only going from the 2019 pages it seems Elyeo Father King legend is very important to this city, but they seem to hate the blue haired people. Maybe they're hoping to find the next King to get rid of the people they hate/afraid of. Seems like a villain thing to do (if the Queen is a villain that is) 9. I've noticed that red and blue are colors that aren't seen on people but they appear together often in the environment. Not sure what that means but those colors do seem to be important. 11. If I hadn't made it clear, the colors are a huge strength but I think it wouldn't be as good if it wasn't for the storytelling. 28-6 and 28-7 are best examples as this is essentially just two people talking but each panel is unique and flows well so I wasn't bored. The facial emoting is good too tho a few full front faces are strange.

12. Ethan's "dad" in the flashback is wearing an army uniform which I find interesting. I'm not sure where Koel is (I'm sure it's explained in the previous chapters),, it's clearly an Asian aesthetic. Maybe there'll be some Korean War allusions, hinting at some reason the US would be there. I admit it going out there for theories but it's something I thought about.

Jonny Aleksey

13. Seeing Ethan was my favorite character I do want to see what his dad (if it even is him) is like. I did really like what I read because of the art and somber tone. What I read seemed like a down time in the story, a slow burn; so I'm excepting something intense to happen. Maybe someone finds out Danbi is whatever he is and it leads to a chase sequence.

RebelVampire

11) The illustrations. This comic strikes a good balance between painterly and detail that gives it really unique imagery among contemporary comics. In particular, though, the lighting. This comic is a great example of what can happen for your comic when you do lighting really well, cause it creates such much atmosphere you almost choke on it (in the good way). 12) Yes, I do believe Ethan's dad was in Keol. That was my guess even before more recent pages inserted more of the implication. There's too many connected dots for it not to be the case, honestly. XD As for its affect on Ethan, I think at first it's gonna be confusion. Cause I doubt his dad ever mentioned Keol, and I doubt being in Keol explained all his dad's behaviors. Then honestly, probably the 5 stages of grief. So denial it was what happened, angry that nobody magically knew about Keol or something, bargaining that his dad could be fixed from the insight, depression that nothing would be the same like Ethan hoped for, and acceptance that at least there are answers to be had and it makes more sense as to why he got summoned to Keol. Which that last one I think is the one that will hit him teh hardest emotionally. That he is there for a reason and it's not just a coincidence.

13) Lu and Ethan and their continually growing relationship (that I swear I will cry over if their relationship is forever ruined.) 14) Honestly? I just assumed it's some half-baked schemes to defy the queen and keep the king from showing up. Or something like that. Like I really got the impression from the whole reveal scene with Lu is the Hornets really arent thinking their plans through that well and/or are at least poorly organized. I think Lu is gonna have second thoughts and bail for Ethan's sake. And while Ethan is passionate enough to forgive, I think Ethan is gonna find himself in a rock and hard place. Cause Danbi I don't think will forgive Lu. Not after the previous lie Lu told and shit. So Ethan is probably gonna get hurt more by being putting into a situation where he has to choose between helping his giant cat love and helping the dude who first helped him when he arrived and somewhat owes a life debt to.

keii4ii

I super appreciate all the comments here! In the past, some people told me how the art is the only good thing about the comic, haha. I used to get really down about that. It's great to see that you guys appreciate the art not just because it looks pretty, but also because it serves the story. I'm here to tell the story, after all!

Also very happy to see some love for Ethan and Lu's relationship

keii4ii

I'm looking forward to showing all the heartbreaks and their aftermaths (which hopefully include healing and growth)

There's gonna be a lot of worldbuilding info and plotty-ness, like what the Hornets are trying to do and why, but in this story, ultimately all of that is just context for the emotional development.

keii4ii

Also @ the correct and partially correct theories, despite the scarcity of information in the comic so far... I'm not a theorizer myself as a reader, so I'm amazed when people can come up with solid theories!

Even the ones that are going to be proven otherwise have good thought behind them!

ShaRose49

I can give you some constructive criticism if you’d like—though I only read like, 50+ pages and I’m much more of a newb than you are @keii4ii Just some little things I’ve noticed

But I don’t wanna sound like a smartass either it is certainly good quality overall

keii4ii

What kind of constructive criticism are we talking? Like, what topics/areas?

ShaRose49

Probably mostly with the character development

But I can be bad at explaining things

Like I’m bad with words I mean sometimes

keii4ii

Generally speaking, I think "this didn't work for me because [reason]" is pretty down to earth and non-snobby. It acknowledges subjectivity, and accepts that it might work just fine or even great for other readers

ShaRose49

Yeah, something like that! It might help, might not, but you never know

keii4ii

like in the past I... even ran into someone who not only said my writing was bad, but also unintentionally insulted people who liked my story by saying something to the effect of "no one who's looking for a good story would read this."

ShaRose49

Yah that’s dumb, like you can’t speak for every person lol

keii4ii

Also are we talking the first 50 pages?

ShaRose49

Yeah around that—probably more, but I haven’t read all of it, that’s for sure

keii4ii

Okay, what's the thing that didn't work for you? (don't give me like a whole List of All the Bad Things You Did, I don't want to be overwhelmed )

ShaRose49

Yeah don’t worry I get overwhelmed too

So I think one of your biggest strengths is worldbuilding—you’ve built an incredibly detailed and unique world with Keol. So if people are into rich, fantasy worlds, they’d probably adore this story. However I find that we know very little about almost all of the character’s personal lives? They have a few interesting quirks, but it still felt hard for me to connect with any characters because we only see very brief and vague flashbacks of their struggles and whatnot

keii4ii

Oh, I think that auto-resolves

ShaRose49

For me, personally, the characters are usually why I read the story or why I don’t. But it does seem like they’ll get more interesting eventually, it’s just taking awhile I guess

keii4ii

This is a very slow burn story, and the character development isn't meant to hit you like a fire hose.

ShaRose49

Yeah That’s fair. I didn’t mean something super obvious, but perhaps a little more clarity with at least one of the characters might’ve been good, but no worries that’s bound to improve

I can somewhat relate to Ethan having a relative who is so ill they’re almost not the same person anymore. My grandparents on my dad’s side had/have dementia which can be hard and sad

keii4ii

What I'm wondering is what anyone even likes about the worldbuilding in the early chapters It doesn't seem special to me, lol (and this isn't self depreciation; it's not bad, it just is to me.)

kayotics

Speaking as a reader who also likes strong characterization: heart of Keol is very slow burn, but I find that the characters are very rich, just in super nuanced ways

ShaRose49

Oh my gosh, the world you’ve created is so unique! It feels like dreams I’ve had

keii4ii

like I know some people who were interested because it was Asian fantasy that wasn't Japanese for once, but that's not special to me. I'm Korean, I consume Korean media, and I am very used to seeing Korean settings.

ShaRose49

I only have experience with some Korean media, and that’s mostly drama webcomics

keii4ii

I guess though, not every Korean fantasy is as glowy as HoK!

ShaRose49

The world is probably the best part for me so far

I just love the portal thingy

keii4ii

@kayotics Thank you! Nuance is something very important to me

snuffysam

Yeah the characters are my favorite part of the comic. Especially how the relationship between Ethan and Lu develops. In fact, that's my answer to (13). I want to see where that relationship goes. If Ethan finds out about Lu's... shadier outings, how will he handle it? Stuff like that.

keii4ii

Every character's gonna need a special anti-breaking armor for their heart. . . .

NeilKapit

OK, I’m caught up on HoK from start to finish, I’ll start work on the questions

Treating this like an old school assignment because I want to do this right

keii4ii

btw there might be a couple more pages to read on the main site, if you're reading on Comic Fury!

NeilKapit

1.) The recent scene with Ethan and Lushaka, where Lushaka comforts Ethan as he’s recounting his father’s mental illness and the harassment they both got for it, definitely stands out

keii4ii

(Thank you for reading, Neil and everyone. I appreciate this!)

NeilKapit

2.) I’m not sure where Danbi’s mom is and what she’s doing right not and what she thinks of Danbi; honestly I don’t tend to try and predict these large scale mysteries, because anything I come up with as a reader would ultimately be less than what the writer will surprise me with, and I don’t want that surprise poisoned for me by not living up to my “head Canon”

3.) Lushaka, whose personality can be described like a good steak— tough outside, tender inside. Always a fan of A.) cats and B.) stoics, and he’s certainly both. How he’s gone so far with the disfiguring wounds on his feet is impressive but also makes me feel bad for him, on top of everything else he’s been through.

4.) See #2....wherever I think this story is going with all the plot threads set up won’t be as good as the reality. I can say that the twist about Ethan’s dad having visited Keol was shocking, but in a good way since it connected a lot of things

5.) Too many to count, but I did bust out laughing in the Q&A section with Ethan in a dating sim. Some of the scenes with the new woman with the dreads showing off her powers by balancing multiple falling objects at once were especially impressive.

And, at risk of sounding like a broken record, tiger mode Lushaka comforting Ethan

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Heart of Keol this week! Please also give a special thank you to keiiii for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Heart of Keol, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.heartofkeol.com/

keiiii’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/keii4ii

keiiii ’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/keiiii4

#ctparchive #webcomics #comics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #heart of keol #keiiii

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shafferangelina95 · 4 years

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ohindoror7guugk-blog · 4 years

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engl699readingjournal-blog · 7 years

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after my initial time spent in Berlin, I wanted to see all the friends I had made (miraculously) again as soon as possible. the fall semester was a real special kind of dismal – at some point before studying abroad, I remember thinking how dumb it sounded to feel “culture shock” or any kind of adjustment period when coming back into your own element, your home, your comfort zone. what was the big deal? I’d go back to school the next week and catch up with my Maryland folks and pick up where I left off. I thought that anyone who felt culture shock re-immersing themselves into the culture in which they were raised, and which they only left for about six or seven months, was surely being overdramatic.

I did not pick up where I’d left off. for all intents and purposes I went on with my senior year as expected, because the academic calendar does not stop or slow down to accommodate your mental breakdowns. there was the matter of getting off the bupropion, which took seven more months to accomplish – at one breaking point I flushed all the pills down the toilet and proceeded to have an extended withdrawal period that I refused to go to the doctor and talk about precisely because I didn’t want to admit to flushing the fucking pills down the toilet. the “what are you going to do after you graduate?” question started to assault my conscience from all angles. the stories I came back with about my new friends, my experiences, some absolute disasters, felt increasingly not worth sharing. none of the people I told them to were there, they had only experienced filtered pictures of streets in Prenzlauer Berg and weird shit displayed at the Schwules Museum through my Instagram. they knew very little of the manic episodes and the hospital visit, which were things I unsurprisingly decided not to broadcast. some friends noticed my tendency to be up tweeting at times when they should have been in bed and chalked it up to my becoming some kind of Berlin night denizen. I did spend a lot of nights out late, but the fact is that most of those tweets were probably posted from my bed where I sometimes sat among enormous boxes of Aldi cereal and sacks of stale rolls and huge mineral water bottles for 36 hours at a time without moving.

there was nobody to talk about that with. talking about that would have required backstory; letting someone from home in on an inside story or anecdote that involved a Berlin friend would have involved me explaining everything from how I met this or that person up to the circumstances that got us into this or that situation and why it was funny in the first place, and that was exhausting, so I just didn’t bother. I thought the solution to this slump was to go back as soon as I could and throw myself back into the life I had created for myself there, for whatever reason not really considering that the obvious common denominator when it came to all my Big Life Issues was me. so I went back for the New Year and stayed with one of my closest friends there for the entire month of January. during the spring and summer we had spent a lot of time hanging and visited London together in July. I think to them I was sort of an interesting figure; I had sort of materialized in their life right when they were at the end of a nine-year relationship and when I guess I made it pretty clear that I was not interested in That we became friends. I think they were very intrigued by how fucking far away I lived; at the beginning, when I was invited somewhere, I showed up, having somehow found my way to the location, then just vanished when the night was over. I don’t know what kind of questions were asked about me or if anyone asked any questions at all, but I guess that superficially this strange artsy American student with sunken eyes and skin the color of white asparagus vibe was attractive. by the time I went home, we had become very close, and I was in good standing with their whole gang, I didn’t think about how shitty it is to be trans every ten minutes, I didn’t have a dining plan or a fucking RA, I felt like a God Damn Adult.

I was not a God Damn Adult. I don’t think it was that I felt more mature than I actually was, but mental illness makes you feel that way. when you are depressed, it is sometimes hard to remember that you can’t keep a routine because you are sick, not because you expect other people to do your laundry or cook for you. when you are anorexic, it is sometimes hard to remember that you aren’t eating because you are committed to not eating, not because you are too irresponsible to go grocery shopping. when you have anxiety, it is sometimes hard to remember that you won’t go into a packed bar or board an overcrowded train out of self-preservation and not because you’re too shy or sheltered to face the Real World. I have faced many aspects of the Real World. sometimes I prefer to limit my intake of it.

something about returning to Berlin for the winter break felt like returning home after being called away by an inconvenient business trip. my friends in Berlin had seen parts of myself that my friends and even family at home did not – not really because I trusted them more, but because various illnesses manifested themselves differently while I was away, new illnesses developed, some illnesses worsened. it wasn’t so much a matter of me letting them in, but that it was all very plainly visible and impossible to avoid discussing. it was good to be back around them. the semester had been draining and I was content to sit in my friend’s apartment scowling at and defacing Siegessäule magazine, watching movies, sitting in the same two cafés within a block of the apartment. I had plans to go to museums and exhibitions, but forgot I didn’t have the money to do that. I was still using my expired student ID from the F.U. to take transit. David Bowie died that month and I spent an entire week with another close friend, sitting in Neues Ufer and moping. I bought soy milk, black bread, and mango-curry spread and ate these breakfasts with great ceremony when I woke up at noon. I contributed rent money, bought toilet paper and cleaned the apartment when I felt it was cluttered, I tried my best to leave no traces of my existence as a guest because that to me was what a good guest did. apparently it was not good enough.

two days before I left, this friend and I went to brunch at a place around the corner and shared a large Mediterranean brunch plate. I remembered this place from the summer, when the floor-to-ceiling windows opened outward and the seating overflowed onto the sidewalk. now it was perpetually slate-grey and snowing. later I learned that this friend hated Berlin in the winter, so maybe I wasn’t entirely responsible for their decision to lay out every flaw in my personality onto the tiny breakfast table like a door-to-door curtain salesman might fan out swatches of fabric for a housewife’s consideration. but that’s what happened. not five minutes into the meal, which was an obscenely large arrangement of brightly-colored fruits that felt absurd considering that we were seated against cold foggy glass through which I watched people in 35 pounds of layers bike past. a small park across the street was frozen over – I remembered eating ice cream there a few days before flying home in August. now it was littered with trash and petrified dog shit preserved under a layer of frost – my friend asked if I had enjoyed myself.

yes, definitely, I said. I had had a really awful semester, I was glad to be away from home in January. January, I explained without feeling the need to go into excessive detail, was historically the worst month of the year for me. if someone died, it was in January. if I wanted to die, it was in January. I wasn’t feeling that way this year. I felt rested. some things needed to be taken care of when I got home, like the extended bupropion withdrawal and the panic attacks, but I was nonetheless very happy to have seen everyone. I had enjoyed myself.

this didn’t seem to be the answer they were hoping for. I guess they were hoping I would say something along the lines of: “well, you know, I realized that I’m unmotivated to pull myself out of a minor funk by forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do,” or, “well, you know, I realized that I’m moody and deal with increasingly confrontational conversations with friends by going silent,” or, “well, you know, I really wish I had done more.” because that’s what I ended up learning about myself in the next thirty seconds – that I made little effort to feel better when I was down, which must have meant I didn’t want to get better in any facet of my life. that I spent days at a time content with sitting in a café instead of going to museums and theaters the way I had planned on doing before arriving.

well, I said, I didn’t realize how tired I was. I had more in mind for myself than I wanted to do.

but you really didn’t do much at all. you spent most of the time in the apartment.

no, I really don’t feel like that was all I did.

it just seems to me that you are maybe – not so independent.

this I found really odious and began raving. fuck the giant fruit plate that sat between us uncomfortably, big as a pottery wheel. not independent?

well, I remember back in July –

fucking July?

when we were in London. you said you might not have done much at all if I hadn’t initiated our days out. and this month, for example, when you had to go to the grocery store sometimes, you asked me if I wanted to come too. and if I said no, you wouldn’t go either, instead of just going by yourself.

fucking July? the grocery store? I got there eventually, didn’t I, each time? nobody ever shat without toilet paper, did they? I walked around about six cities by myself, hadn’t I? was it not clear that I meant our ideas of visiting a city were different – I took walks, they liked museums?

and that sometimes I was slow to react, as if I spent more time in my head than in reality. I did not take initiative. I drank tea but never made it. I only helped open the windows to air out the room when they were already up doing it.

I only drank the tea because it was there and I knew you weren’t going to drink two liters of hot lemon water with chunks of ginger. I never thought to open the windows myself because I thought it was a pointless exercise in making a room 7 degrees and no less stuffy than before.

not independent? I flew into a complete rage. did they know that when I spoke about how January was historically bad it was because of a high-school suicide attempt that stained the entire month for me, that when I said I was content with my January for once it was because it was the first January in five years in which I wasn’t close to doing that again? I didn’t want them to know all this, but it ended up that way. why do people not point things out to me as they happen? why compile a dossier and then present it to me like an airing of grievances or the way a court clerk reads a docket aloud to the judge at an arraignment? I told them I would never do something like this to anyone I called a friend and went silent. the still-hot cup of black tea was to be unfinished, a roll I had ripped in half was left on the heap of stupid fruit and hummus. fuck you, I thought. eat this entire ridiculous plate yourself. I wondered whether it would be a good idea to spend my last two nights in a hostel, if this whole thing was that big of a deal. they told me that they hadn’t expected my reaction and were only trying to help. I said I was done eating and started counting Euros to pay them back for half the cost of the plate. I had to walk to a friend’s nearby apartment to pick up the bike I had borrowed and ridden once and drop it off with its owner, another few blocks away. I would see them back at the apartment.

in many of the conversations between Isherwood and the two Landauer cousins – Natalia and Bernhard – I feel reverberations of the conversations I had with this friend, who is still a friend. many instances of “why are you asking me this question?” and “what are you thinking about me based on this answer I’m giving?” many small spats that end in silence that is sometimes just as explosive as the argument that should be had. many feelings that conversations were more judgment than lively discussion, comprising many topics that I didn’t feel like talking about but would have been met with a “why?” if avoided: why wasn’t my position against parents beating their kids’ asses stronger? I don’t know. my parents beat my ass on what I felt was probably the proper occasion. was it possible that I was attracted to men since I wrote stories about men who were attracted to men? no. how did I know? why wouldn’t I get a soup? I ate a Kinder bar from the fucking vending machine on the train platform and didn’t want anything. why? many whys. many back-and-forths like this. many signs that both people are carrying around too much baggage associated with the fucking month of January. at the gloomy winter excursion to the Landauers’ Wannsee country house, Isherwood enters, at Bernhard’s invitation, into a space of memory and tragic association for a reason that he does not quite himself understand. why is he the one privy to Bernhard’s entire life story? what exactly is the nature of this relationship? why do months pass before they speak again? in Isherwood’s crafted world of innuendo and suggestion, we do not know just how intimate this relationship is. at a closer look, holes open up in the narrative that could easily be filled with the obvious. as with the famous ellipsis in The Great Gatsby, one moment Isherwood is being led to Bernhard’s bedroom with Bernhard’s hand on his shoulder. the next morning they are having breakfast. I have such holes in my own memory but I am sure none of them involve sex. depression eats away at your brain cells, its effect much like that of self-censorship.

in June, during my study abroad, I went to the hospital for a panic attack. as with most panic attacks, I thought I was going to die, and when I explained to the E.R. doctor that I had a laundry list of pre-existing psychological conditions I was put into a bus and rerouted to a mental health clinic on the Wannsee (after we made a really unnecessary detour through Charlottenburg which added an entire hour to the journey). there, I spoke in English with a woman whose job was apparently to stay up all night and receive nutjobs like me at 3 AM in her small, inviting office. she asked me if I wanted to stay there. that sounded terrifying. I had work to do and nineteen credits to earn. no, I did not want to stay there. yes, I would start eating. yes, I would take care of myself. she told me I was brave for being here all alone with all of the things that I was dealing with, and that it took a great deal of strength to take all of your problems abroad with you – many people foolishly thought that going somewhere meant somehow that those problems would not come with them. I did not see myself as brave or strong. I saw myself sitting in a consultation room at a psych clinic while the sun rose. I wondered whether I would be forced to stay on some grounds, whether saying “yes” to an invitation to stay was the only right answer. but “no” was accepted. I walked out with a business card, saying goodbye to the man at the reception desk like I was leaving a Holiday Inn. I walked a few miles until I decided it was time to get on a bus.

(this was not something I tweeted about)

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renaroo · 7 years

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Wednesday Roundup

We have an interesting week! Not the least of which because of Saga’s newest volume release which I have been highly anticipating for months. There’s a lot of storylines beginning, ending, and everything in between this week, and we’ve got a spread between DC, Marvel and Indie. So let’s see how it plays out!

Marvel’s Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows, DC’s Detective Comics, Image’s Saga, DC’s Titans, DC’s Wonder Woman

Marvel’s Amazing Spider-Man: Renew You Vows (2016- ) #6 Gerry Conway, Ryan Stegman, Jesus Aburtov

We’ve officially gone into territories that I honestly hadn’t expected for this series to take, that being the confirmation as of this issue that this is a parallel universe where the Superhero Registration Act and Civil War never happened. But... oddly enough it seems to also be a world where Conway is happily ignoring Slott’s miniseries that started Renew Your Vows because the X-Men, including ones we very much saw were dead in the mini, are well and alive and running the Xavier institute just fine.

And just to add to weirdness, everyone’s in their 90s uniforms but Jean is married to Logan and they have an adorable daughter. How’s that supposed to work with my perception of reality? I have absolutely no idea, but Annie gets a possible future friend in little baby mutant so I think I can consider myself happy.

It’s interesting to see Gerry Conway, who in many ways as I revisit the various comics of the past (as you may have noticed through my liveblogging here) really is fundamental for me personally in how I perceive Peter, MJ, and their relationship, is writing the first book I’ve been able to read in a long time that feels like them. And it’s not perfect marital bliss -- there’s conflict, opposition, and a sense of flaws that both of them bring to the table.

Basically all the things that Slott and co. whined and bemoaned were gone simply because Peter and MJ tied the knot. y’know. Thirty years ago.

Still enjoying the book, but I’m extra curious/worried where our cliffhanger leaves us. Also wow, poor Beast.

DC’s Detective Comics (2016- ) #954 James Tynion IV, Marcio Takara, Marcelo Maiolo

*long heralding sigh and a wistful look into the distance*

We’re smack in the middle of this storyline and I’m sure there’s a lot of things that will be better once it’s fully played out, but I’m running out of ways to defend Tynion’s run on ‘Tec. Mostly because for all the frustration that I have with people being way too critical of this run -- which there more than has been -- I’m getting less and less out of Tynion’s work that fills me with the joy and exuberance that helps me want to defend his comics to begin with.

Probably because I have always said his pacing is awful, his reveals have almost no setup, he repeatedly robs us of emotional catharsis, his views of morality are about as black-and-white as someone can get out of a high school creative writing class, and just structurally I’ve never enjoyed his arcs.

What I do like from Tynion and have defended again and again is his understanding of the main team’s characters. The Belfry team, as written by him, have so many amazing character moments that they far outshine his stories and villains time and time again. He understands why people love these characters and he wants to share why he loves them, and that enthusiasm has repeatedly been a saving grace on issues that had everything else working against them during his run.

Soooooo This issue is completely devoid of those good things. Because our only goodguy left standing is Bruce. I continue to be... less than apathetic toward the Colony and the assassination of Jacob Kane’s character, or Ulysseus’ gamer-brat return. Bruce continues to be an IDIOT about this League of Shadows thing to the point that my brain breaks trying to figure out why in Detective Comics it seems like the World’s Greatest Detective can’t get a clue. And it all just blehhhhssss toward the middle.

Now for the controversy. Because god forbid we not have controversy every week ‘Tec comes out. Cass’ reentry in the last two pages is awesome for the first page and stupid on the giant splash page. yes, she’s going to be the one to take down the League of Shadows, and she’ll probably FINALLY get to say one of her famous lines herself for once (IMAGINE). but Tynion or Takara one dropped the ball on that last page by having Cass holding bloody katanas and make it look like she had actually killed Shiva’s ninjas. If this was a mistake, DC is... itself again and we’ll have to ignore it. If it’s meant to make us doubt Cass and that she’s taken Shiva’s words to heart it’s a cheap cliffhanger and we know better. If if if, doesn’t matter, it’s not what it seems and it annoys me.

I was annoyed by this issue and outside of Takara’s continued excellent work in the art department this is going to be lost in the overall storyline of this arc like every single other middle issue Tynion has written for this run. Nothing was gained for this experience.

Well, it gave me the energy to rant. And I know that’s what some of you come to this blog for, so it gave you that much.

Image’s Saga (2012- ) Volume 7 Brian K. Vaughn, Fiona Staples

Few comics hit the milestones and accolades which Saga have without stumbling across bumps in the path, and that goes nearly triple when it comes to pushing the envelope with themes of interracial relationships, multiethnic found families, clashing cultures, war, sexual politics, and discussions of sexuality and gender all at once.

But somehow, amazingly, Saga not only continues to maintain this path and always manages to find new and impressive ways to surprise me -- someone who I’d consider to be a pretty hardened veteran of nearly all forms of storytelling in comics at this point -- but it manages to make each punch still feel like a direct hit to my gut.

There is so much anguish in the trials of our space opera family for this adventure, so much loss that it’s hard to pin down what hit me harder -- the loss of a long time friend, the sanity of a former dignitary, the home of a beloved survivor, the respect of a former mentor, or -- as Hazel herself so eloquently put it in the last pages of this volume -- the loss of things that never were, the missing energy of what could have been.

There’s a lot throughout this, and as always Saga delivers. We continue to have one of the most badass trans women I’ve seen in comics to date, the fall from grace of Marko’s professed pacifism, and the fear of Sophie’s inevitable manipulations at the hand of The Will, something that will break my heart a thousand times more.

Fiona Staples’ art is next level comic storytelling, but I also need to emphasize just what a fantastic writer Brian K. Vaughn truly is. As someone very aware and concerned about portrayal and voices of women in comics, I have to say that Vaughn is up there with Rucka as some of the few male writers that write female characters in a way that truly speak to me on a fundamental level.

DC’s Titans (2016- ) #10 Dan Abnett, Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund, Andrew Dalhouse

Our fight with the Fearsom Five comes to quite the stunning end, really utilizing all of our characters and their strengths as well as their weaknesses. But what really captured my attention here was just how well the comic did when it came to showing off how truly formidable the Five were, with maybe only Gizmo not getting a real moment to shine out of the entire lot.

The Titans were believably taken down, but not without showing off their prowess first and foremost, an that’s really all I ask for in a story where our heroes ultimately don’t win -- that their strengths are still on display and it’s believable how the battles’ outcome got to where it was.

Perhaps our Seventh Ranger’s late entry with Bumblebee really showing off her powers and surprising us all does seem like a cheap way to end a battle the Titans mostly lost, but I think that was softened by showing that, in return, Karen has lost something that we have spent many issues building up as being highly important to her: her family and the memories and love she holds for them.

That plus the reintroduction of H.I.V.E. and Deathstroke has me very curious about just how the “Lazarus Contract” is going to play out here, especially with its title’s obvious signifiers.

Very good issue through and through, really enjoyable.

DC’s Wonder Woman (2016- ) #20 Greg Rucka, Bilquis Evely, Romulo Fajardo Jr.

I have been incredibly curious to see what is Veronica Cale’s motivations in all of this and why she wants to get to Themyscira so badly, and it seems as though our past and present storylines have finally come to a head, proving my suspicions correct that the two Doberman that Cale has with her are the twins -- though I thought they were common disguise and not binding of them thanks to a revamp of Circe.

Now, of course, if you follow me long enough to know my Wondy opinions, you know that Circe is by far my favorite villain in Diana’s rogues gallery, and so I have been very excited about her turn to come into Rucka’s reimagining. And it didn’t disappoint, I rather like her modern redux.

And in all honesty, Rucka’s second time around with Veronica Cale has been delightful to see take form -- moving her motivations to something more powerful and more relatable than “women be jealous of other successful women” is just so much more engaging. There’s definitely been a lot learned since his last run of Wonder Woman and I appreciate it.

The art continues to be just beautiful for the past storylines, I mean beyond gorgeous and so colorful. Which just makes me dread the upcoming more dour, dark, and all around depressing take on the present.

And if that isn’t a culmination of my feelings about comic trends in general I don’t know what is.

If I didn’t think it’d be entirely unfair, I’d easily give this week to Saga which just continues to impress and amaze me every volume, but as I read it by volume rather than by monthlies, that seems completely unfair.

Usually my weeks are difficult because there’s more than a few standouts but this week I didn’t really have anything that really stuck out to me. But, ultimately I’m going to give my pick of the week to Wonder Woman. Rucka’s past storylines are just a joy over and over again.

#Rena Roundups #SPOILERS #Wednesday Spoilers #Saga #Detective Comics (2016 )#Amazing Spiderman: Renew Your Vows (2016 )#Titans (2016 )#Wonder Woman (2016 )

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parttimestorier · 7 years

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SoulSet Review

VNDB|itch.io|steam

As I mentioned in my recent post about crowdfunding (which got way more likes and reblogs than any of my previous posts—thanks so much everyone!), I had a lot more to say about SoulSet than would fit into the short list format. I've finished organizing all those thoughts now, so here's my full review of this fun mystery visual novel! I've tried my best to leave out spoilers about anything important, but I can't avoid saying some general things about the characters and the story structure, so you might want to skip this one if you'd rather go into SoulSet as blindly as possible.

One thing I thought SoulSet did especially well was building atmosphere. The music, the background art, and the unsettling way the perspective switched between the present and the past a few times in the introduction to mirror the protagonist's own confusion all worked together to make me feel immersed in the experience of waking up in a creepy mansion. I also really liked the sprite art. The characters each have fun, unique outfits that make them easily distinguishable from each other—very helpful at the beginning when a bunch of strangers get introduced all at once—and also indicate aspects of their personalities. One part where art of five of them is displayed on screen at once, in black and white to start and then switching to colour as you mouse over, is especially visually appealing. My personal favourite character in terms of aesthetic (and possibly in terms of romance routes as well, although that's a harder decision) was the very pink and elegant Shira.

SoulSet also takes one of my favourite VN mechanics—enforced route order—and does it really well. In order to prevent you from getting answers to the mysteries in an order that won't make sense, some routes of SoulSet must be done before some others. This is accomplished through a system of finding “clues” of various colours in order to unlock the routes of the characters who are associated with those colours (a motif that, combined with the mansion and the mystery, reminded me of the classic board game Clue). Every time you reach an ending, you'll be helpfully informed about how many clues are hidden on the route you took, as well as how many of them you've already found. You can also use the menu to check on your clue collection at any point during the game. I liked this system a lot—the way it kept track of my progress helped me feel like I was really working toward something even when I repeatedly got bad endings. And having a general idea of where the clues might be motivated me to experiment with different choices myself, rather than relying on a guide right away like I might have if the way the route order worked was less clear. (Although I did start using a guide eventually because there are a lot of endings. There's a pretty good one on steam.)

One aspect of SoulSet that wasn't quite to my taste, however, was its handling of sex scenes. While SoulSet is not an explicit 18+ VN by any means, the romance routes do involve the characters having sex, often described briefly before a fade to black. I found it hard to pinpoint what exactly it was I didn't like about those moments at first, but I think the issue might have just been the expectations I had when I started reading the VN. I find that when I go into an 18+ game, I'm already prepared for there to be some fanservice thrown in when it isn't really logical or plot-relevant, and so I'm able to suspend my disbelief and still enjoy the rest of the story even if it's not the kind of fanservice I'm all that interested in. But since I didn't expect that sort of thing from SoulSet, those scenes made me start asking questions like, “Why are they stopping to bone when there are mysteries to solve? Why is it that every single one of the people in this mansion happens to be so attracted to the protagonist that they're willing to jump in bed with her when not only do they barely know her, but they also barely know themselves either, and they're trapped in a scary mansion?” But since that's the sort of break from reality I can forgive in other VNs, I should probably forgive it in SoulSet too—especially since the sexual content isn't even strictly necessary to advance the plot in most cases. And those scenes do have some cute moments. Plus, it's nice to see a VN protagonist who's quite forward in those situations, rather than the typical passive self-insert character who wouldn't recognize a sexual advance if it smacked them in the face.

Another thing I had some mixed feelings about was SoulSet's presentation of the eventual solutions to its mysteries—a lot of which just kind of get infodumped at you near the end. I did really enjoy reading about the explanations for things like how all the characters ended up at the mansion, since the reasons were generally pretty interesting. But I would have liked it a lot more if I had been able to actually see those things happening in extended flashbacks, instead of just reading a long monologue about it. And one specific event that I thought would have been particularly cool to see play out just kind of gets unceremoniously skipped over. However, I can understand that the writers may have wanted to keep the story's focus on the immediate mystery, rather than stretching it out into a longer narrative about all the characters' lives before they converged—as much as that is something I would like to read. And since the choice to leave out some detail meant that I still wanted to read more SoulSet after it ended, maybe it's not really a flaw. After all, it succeeded in making me a guaranteed customer for any other VNs in the same universe that NoBread Studios might create in the future.

Overall, I really enjoyed SoulSet's unique fantasy take on some common elements of mystery stories. While I've included some critique here for the sake of giving as much unbiased detail about my impressions of it as possible, most of it is matters of personal taste that I'm sure plenty of other readers would feel differently about, and none of it outweighs the VN's many positive qualities. I would recommend SoulSet to anyone who wants a fun multiple route mystery VN with plenty of riddles to solve and romance options to explore.

#soulset #nobread studio #visual novel #visual novels #visual novel review #visual novel reviews #otome #otome game #otome games

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catholiccom-blog · 7 years

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Workplace Witnesses

My wife didn’t want a new cell phone. But hers was old, and the battery wouldn’t hold a charge. So Kathi and I found ourselves trudging into the wireless store at the end of a long day, instructed in detail by our savvy daughter about an incentive offer from our carrier, which model of phone to buy, and how much it would all cost.

“What brings you in tonight?” the friendly young salesman asked. We told him and described the phone and promotion our daughter had recommended.

“I haven’t heard of that,” he said. “Let me talk to my manager.” He headed off into a back room, reappearing several minutes later.

“My manager says we don’t have that promotion,” he said, “but we have something better.” He described a complicated plan featuring payment terms for a phone and an increased data allowance. “But there’s a credit toward the phone, so you basically get it for free.”

Kathi and I glanced at one another. At this point in the day, my brain was pretty close to mush. I asked him to explain it again, more slowly.

This time a red flag went up.

“So we get the phone at a net cost of zero, but then we’re paying extra for data every month?” I asked.

We didn’t need extra data. We needed a new phone.

We thanked him and left. That night, I ordered the phone online and got the promotional deal our daughter had recommended. It had turned into more of an ordeal than we expected, but at least now I’m able to reach my wife on the go.

Workplace witnesses

Have you ever experienced a situation like that, when you’re being sold something you’re not even shopping for? That’s how many people feel about being evangelized in the workplace. When it happens, like our experience at the wireless store, there’s a strong tendency to head for the exit.

Look around and you’ll see an almost palpable fear of being proselytized (defined by dictionary.com as “to convert or attempt to convert”). I’ve been on the receiving end from people of several different faiths and ideologies. After all, there is no shortage of people in our workplaces who are certain about the validity of their beliefs and opinions. So how should Christian evangelization (“to preach the gospel to”) be different?

The situation is even more complex when we take into account the state of our culture and the forces of secularization that seek to silence religion. In many ways, the secular workplace represents the front lines of the culture wars.

However, with challenge comes opportunity. The secular workplace also represents the front lines for the New Evangelization.

Reframing the opportunity

By setting a bold example of leading with mercy rather than judgment, Pope Francis has done a marvelous job showing us how the gospel penetrates human hearts even in hostile environments. Could it be that part of the visceral distaste people often have for mixing work and religion is due to a flawed approach on our part? Too often we act like it’s up to us to convert people.

It’s not. That’s above our pay grade. Conversion is the work of the Holy Spirit. We just plant the seeds—and this is accomplished most convincingly through our actions.

In addition, if we’re too quick to judge others based on our beliefs, might that not alienate us from others and preclude us from having an opportunity to evangelize in a manner worthy of our baptism?

Think of the life of Jesus. The gospels provide us with numerous accounts of Jesus interacting—even hanging out with—prostitutes, tax collectors, and other assorted sinners. He did this in a most radical way for his time, incurring wonder and even wrath from onlookers. Yet the essence of his invitation to each individual is the same as to all of us today: Follow me.

One thing to keep in mind as we interact with others at work is that they don’t necessarily share our frame of reference. If they’re adverse to the idea of religion, perhaps there’s a reason for that. Have they been hurt by religion? Perhaps they experience shame or guilt stemming from events or circumstances in their lives. Might there be structural impediments, such as multiple marriages? Perhaps they’re cohabiting, or have experienced the pain of an abortion, or can’t imagine what their spouse might say about their interest in the Church.

If we follow the pope’s lead, we are more apt to listen than speak. We are less prone to render judgment as to have hearts of mercy. We are more likely to recognize life—and conversion—as a process rather than an event. Even if a coworker was enthralled by our breathtakingly cogent arguments for the existence of God and wanted to enroll in RCIA immediately, don’t you think it might take time for his life to comport more closely with the Faith?

Strategic planning

Part of the challenge of the New Evangelization is to present the gospel message with renewed clarity in a way that resonates in today’s environment. Beating people over the head with a copy of the Catechism won’t do it—and could very well get us fired. There are better ways . . . but beware. They demand that we be more faithful Christians.

Here are a few specific ideas to consider of the type that shouldn’t get us sideways with the human resources department even in the most secular environments. Of course, I hope and pray we never get to the point where free speech is curtailed to the point of not being able to discuss religion in public, including the workplace. But our actions are the key to our words having credibility.

Be a friend

Years ago I worked with a guy named Stan who had grown up Christian but abandoned his faith in favor of Buddhism. It was an odd relationship. Stan delighted in giving me a hard time about being Catholic, and we had many spirited conversations. Here’s the thing, though—Stan was a great guy, and I instinctively liked him. Despite our religious differences, we had much in common.

No matter what the background or disposition of a coworker, an “apostolate of friendship” is always possible. Despite Stan’s intransigence with regard to the Faith, we shared a genuine friendship. This can be true even in cases where the relationships are more challenging and less instinctive.

Once again, in considering the gospels, Jesus befriended (much to the discomfort of his disciples and others) all kinds of people, including those of lower societal strata. Children. A Samaritan woman. Tax collectors. Pharisees. Prostitutes. He took an interest in them and desired what was best for them, regardless of whether they followed him or not.

Pope Francis made waves in the press when he insisted that all people are redeemed. He didn’t mean all are saved, of course, but it’s important to realize that this attitude reflects our Lord’s actions and his desire to offer the gift of eternal life to all.

There is no “us versus them”—we’re all sinners deeply in need of mercy. The radically unique Christian message includes the fact that every soul is of equal and immeasurable value in the eyes of God. So if our Lord was a friend to all, shouldn’t we be also?

Be humble

Speaking of Pope Francis, one of his most endearing traits is his humility. In fact, humility is a foundational virtue, one that allows us to focus on others rather than ourselves and, even more important, to facilitate proper worship of God.

Think about the countless scriptural references to humility. James 4:6 tells us, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” This isn’t hard to square with our own experiences. Have you ever been turned off by the arrogant attitude of someone you’ve just met? But encountering humble people has the opposite impact—we are attracted to them, in the best sense.

I have been privileged to know leaders of organizations with a global scope whom you could imagine might have an arrogant streak. Yet one such woman (let’s call her Nancy), who is perhaps among the smartest people I know, is also among the most gracious. Despite Nancy’s prodigious intelligence, she displays a remarkable attribute: rather than pontificating, she asks questions. In the process, she demonstrates great kindness and takes a sincere interest in everyone she meets.

These habits have an astonishing impact on others. When you’re engaged in a conversation with Nancy, you feel honored and have a sense that your opinion truly matters to her. You feel esteemed to have such a formidable intellect asking what you think. I wonder if that’s how some people felt when they spoke to Jesus.

In the workplace, humility is also helpful when we consider how often we find ourselves working in teams. By their very nature, teams consist of people, all equipped with various strengths and weaknesses. You’ve heard of (or experienced) political environments, right? That’s where teams play off of one another’s weaknesses for personal gain.

Thankfully, the opposite is also true: In good teams, we play off one another’s strengths. That requires recognizing one another’s strengths. That requires humility.

In the end, humility is a kind of secret weapon of the Christian faith. It’s good for us. It’s good for our human relationships. It’s good for our divine relationship. It’s good, by extension, for our workplaces.

Be hopeful

Scripture is chock-full of exhortations to hope, such as Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” It’s a fundamental part of the gospel message, not to mention one of the three theological virtues.

Hope is attractive, particularly as so many people around us struggle in this area. Who doesn’t, right? So what does hope look like when it’s applied to our work lives?

First, doing our best at work, striving for excellence, is a manifestation of hope. If we do even the smallest things out of love for God, placing our hope in him, we know it’s pleasing to him. It can also be a practical stress reducer, since we have given our best but recognize that we’re not in control of all the outcomes in our lives. God is.

Recognizing that grace builds on nature, we do our best, offer up our work to the Lord, asking for his blessing on our humble efforts, and give thanks for the results. Even when the results aren’t what we hoped for. When that’s the case, we keep giving our best. Even in failure, we can place our hope in him and even maintain a spirit of joy.

How do we do this? Well, think about the crucifixion for a second. At the time, this appeared to be the extinguishment of all hope, at least from the perspective of Christ’s disciples. Yet with the Resurrection, that perspective changed. That’s the beauty of embracing a spirit of Christian hope. Even when things seem to be at their worst, we can have faith that the Lord still holds us in his hands.

Joy in tribulation

One of my favorite stories in Scripture is in Acts 5. The apostles are hauled in front of the Sanhedrin, accused of preaching the gospel. For their troubles they were flogged. Flogged! Then Scripture tells us the most astonishing thing.

They left rejoicing.

Rejoicing! Can you imagine? “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worth to suffer dishonor for the name” (Acts 5:41). It’s incredible. The way the apostles accepted hardship offers a huge challenge—and opportunity—for us today.

It’s not likely that we’ll be flogged in our workplace anytime soon (although I’ve certainly witnessed verbal floggings here and there). At the same time, there are lots of opportunities for us to accept the smaller hardships with grace and good humor. Coffee spill on our white shirt? Friction with a coworker? Problem on a big project? Our handling of difficulties speaks to others without us speaking about faith at all.

There’s an even bigger opportunity. When it comes to fertile ground for the gospel, there is perhaps no greater example than that of an individual going through serious problems in his life. This is where we are able to be Christ in the life of someone who needs it. Not for manipulative purposes, of course, but out of sincere respect, compassion, and love.

Honor freewill

As the parents of eight children, my wife and I once had four teenagers at home simultaneously. Along with keeping up with a gigantic food bill every month, I really struggled with the concept of freewill. Couldn’t God have provided an exemption for teens?

Of course, this was an opportunity for my sanctification, even though it sure was tough at the time. Despite challenges to parental authority, lack of respect, and various other obstacles, I began to see how freewill is a necessary component of conversion. This culminated in a re-reading of John chapter 6, where Jesus allowed people to walk away when he began speaking of eating his flesh and drinking his blood. He didn’t chase after them. He honored their freewill. Perhaps some of them reconsidered later; we don’t know.

The scriptural admonishment not to judge makes all the sense in the world when we apply it to the judgment that is uniquely God’s job: that of judging hearts. Of course, we are able to see actions and see that they can be good or evil. That’s why we have laws against ax murderers but think it’s good to help the poor.

Our coworkers also have the benefit of freewill. This is why we should never seek to manipulate. Rather, we should have a radical respect for the conscience and freedom of others, even when their consciences aren’t properly formed. They’re not stupid; they have unique personal experiences, and the path to challenge them positively is through what my friend Dan Burke calls the “apologetics of extraordinary love.” In other words, to reach them we must love them, and then “love becomes the bridge over which truth can pass.” Love first, then truth.

The model Christ left for us was one of service. We are meant, like him, “not to be served but to serve” (Mark 10:45). When we have a heart for service, we recognize the importance of loving others in practical, everyday terms. This is how positive relationships are built and provide us with credibility that our own freewill is being used in an efficacious manner.

Plant seeds

We plant seeds in hearts first by who we are, then by what we’re fired up about, by what we don’t care about, by what we do, and by what we don’t do. Remember, planting seeds is our job. We can challenge people here and there when necessary, but this shouldn’t be our lead strategy.

Instead, one of the best things we can do, once we’ve done everything we can to act in accordance with the gospel message, is to embrace that “gift of self” so often cited by St. John Paul II. We give ourselves to others through the sacrifice of time, talents, and treasure. In the workplace, so often the right gift is that of time.

Tell your story

If the Faith changes us, we have a story to tell. Among the privileges of my professional life is hearing the stories of the many converts and “reverts” to the faith on The Journey Home TV program each week at the Coming Home Network. These stories are potent; they resonate in ways only the Holy Spirit can provoke.

Our stories are important. We can share mistakes we’ve made, triumphs, perspectives on how to handle situations, encouragement . . . the possibilities are endless. Of course, this involves words. Thankfully, even if our lives and actions haven’t been perfect, we can still build others up with words—even sharing our mistakes when necessary.

Head for the entrance

It’s important to remember that most of us probably won’t undergo a martyr’s death. The way we’ll exercise the above virtues will be most notable, and perhaps most powerful, in the little everyday things that aren’t noteworthy or powerful. We will always be reliant on the power of the Holy Spirit to change hearts, and that’s the bottom line. We can encourage others to head for the entrance rather than the exit.

A friend of mine once said that his goal was to be successful and to never know it. By trusting in the Lord and leaving the heavy lifting of evangelization to the Holy Spirit, we’ll learn to be better workers—and better Catholics.

#Catholic Answers #Evangelization #New Evangelization #Catholic Church #Catholic Teaching

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