the-adventures-of-random
the-adventures-of-random
The-Adventures-of-Random
This is a public challenge to myself to write more. The idea is once I start writing I can’t stop, regardless of what I write, for at least a few minutes. It will probably suck, so please don’t have any expectations. - Pelo Blanco
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227.
Random couldn’t really do anything at this point. He was able to move his whole body around a little and that would rock his cast incased body back and forth a little, and that was about it. Random needed to figure something out but he had no idea what to do. He was able to see, and he soon discovered that the cast didn’t cover his entire mouth, so he was able to call out, and that’s what he did. He yelled and screamed for someone, anyone, to help.
Unfortunately, not a single person showed up to help Random. A large anteater did though. It walked over to Random to investigate what all the noise was about. It didn’t find Random very interesting, so it turned its back and walked away. As the ant eater turned, its body bumped into Random with just enough force to roll Random over. The momentum of that one roll continued and turned into another rotation. Now Random found himself rolling down a fairly steep hill unable to steer or stop himself.
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226.
Random tried to stand up but he couldn’t. The cast had hardened enough to where it was impossible for him to move his appendages. This was definitely worse than all the papercuts and thorn scrapes. Random started to panic a little. How was he going to get out of this?
Then a bird flew by, circles twice, and landed on Random’s head. It just sat there looking around. At first Random didn’t mind, but then the bird released its bowels and defecated on Random’s casted head. This was too much for Random to take. He screamed in frustration and violently tried to move his body in any and all directions at the same time. This didn’t do much other than rock Random a little back and forth and side to side.
Seeing that he could move his whole body some, Random put a lot more effort in and before long was rocking back and forth a good deal. A second later Random toppled over onto his side. Random joyfully smiled until he realized the fall did not break the cast as he had expected. The smile faded from Random’s mouth as he contemplated what to do from a world view turned on its side.
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225.
Random found himself covered in wet newspaper. He was so annoyed by what was going on and at the same time he was so mad he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He just sat there with wet newspaper stuck to his entire body.
Before Random had more time to ruminate on his current situation the rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the sun shinned down hot and bright. Random breathed a sigh of relief. Things were starting to turn around.
Just then a truck drove by carry bags upon bags of flour. The instant the truck was next to Random it ran over a pothole and in so doing the back of the truck violently bounced up and down. As a result of the violent movement a few bags of flour exploded, jettisoning flour everywhere. Naturally Random was entirely covered in flour. Before he could react, the flour mixed with the wet newspaper and quickly dried in the sun, sealing him in a paper mâché cast.
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224.
The pain from the lemon juice slowly faded away and was replaced by pain of getting scratched by black berry bushes. Random was over it all. He just couldn’t be bothered by what was going on anymore, so he sat down and looked up at the clouds in the sky.
The clouds were the typical big fluffy kind until they suddenly turned dark then dumped a wall of rain. Random was instantly soaked to the bone and he was glad. The rain washed away a lot of the pain from all his cuts, so he was happy about that for a time. Then he was very much wanting to not be pruned over his entire body, so he picked up so newspapers and made a shelter with them. Of course, this last about five seconds in the rain.
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223.
Random screamed. His whole body was on fire. He had no idea that lemon juice sprayed on a papercut could hurt so bad. It probably wouldn’t hurt that bad if it was just one cut, but when it was dozens and dozens those added up to a mighty sting.
The one good thing about suddenly being in so much pain was adrenaline surged through Random. For a few seconds the pain was detached. The pain was still very much there but it felt like it was off to the side in a way, so it wasn’t engaging all of Random’s focus. Another benefit was that Random had a surge of strength and anger. He was so mad at what was happening and felt so strong he just ran through the wall of blackberry bushes. At the time this didn’t seem like that bad of an idea, but once Random was on the other side and the adrenaline faded away, he questioned his decision very much.
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222.
Wishing you were something else, like a different animal altogether never helped anyone so Random tried to put that out of his mind. It was a good thing he did because the reflection of the sun blinded him for a full second, which was just enough time for the moon to blink on and off. Which was strange because the radio didn’t blink on and off and the drug dealers didn’t stop selling their drugs. This was all fine and dandy, but it didn’t matter much to the snail who was eagerly crawling towards the mound of crackers it was amorously ogling.
Seeing the snail gave Random an idea. He built a house out of playing cards and then setup a lemonade stand on top of it. Well, he tried to at least. The weight of the lemons and pitchers of juice were too heavy for the house to handle, so everything came crashing down. When it did lemon juice splashed up covering everything within a close proximity, including all of Random’s papercuts.
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221.
Random saw some of the trees shake slightly. He wasn’t sure if they were being blown by the wind or if they were building up to sneeze. Random didn’t want to hang around to find out, so he quickly ran away. The problem with running away in this case was Random was in the middle of a giant lemon tree orchard. Any direction he ran he was still in the middle of rows upon rows of trees as far as the eye could see. Random started to get a little worried that he was never going to escape the orchard when he finally reached the border.
Unfortunately for Random, the border of the orchard was a natural fence 10 feet high of blackberry bushes. Random wished he were a rabbit.
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220.
Random quickly regretted his decision. He would much rather spend some intimate time with mice and cheese inside his shirt instead of the dozens and dozens of papercuts he was now receiving all over his upper body. Random knew he would not be able to take much more of this. He needed to get away from the paper tornado but didn’t know which way to go. Indecision was only making things worse. Random needed to act regardless of if his next decision was in the wrong direction. Any action at this point was better than none at all.
Random covered his eyes with his hands and sprinted forwarded as fast as he could. He expected to trip over something, but he never did. He just ran and ran. After what seemed like hours Random noticed he wasn’t getting papercuts any longer. He stopped and opened his eyes to find himself in an enormous lemon tree grove. Random loved lemons and lemon juice so seeing all the fruit on the trees brought a smile to his face.
Then Random heard a tree sneeze a row over from him. He also saw when the tree sneezed it sprayed lemon juice all over the place. Random suddenly felt very exposed and vulnerable standing in the middle of trees capable of sneezing citric acid while he was half naked with dozens and dozens of papercuts all over his body.
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219.
As the hawk was flying it pecked at Random to get a little taste of the meal to come. It didn’t recognize the taste and apparently didn’t want to dine on that for the main course, so it dropped Random in mid-flight.
Random fell just a few feet through the air and luckily landed safely on his feet. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Just then a gush of wind blew stacks upon stacks of papers all over the place. Random was quickly consumed in a paper tornado. He didn’t think this was so bad until the paper slid across parts of his exposed skin giving me lots and lots of papercuts. Random yelped at the pain and picked up the flyswatter. He tried his best to swat the paper out of the air but that didn’t do anything. Scared he might suffer serious injure from all the papercuts, Random pulled his arms and head into his shirt where he discovered a block of cheese and some mice eating the cheese. That freaked Random out so bad he frantically tore his shirt off and threw it as far away as possible.
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218.
Random needed to figure out how to be somewhere else instead of slamming into the ground at terminal velocity, so he started to chew some gum and breakdance. He really wasn’t able to breakdance very well in the air, so he stopped that and really concentrated on what to do next, but he couldn’t think of anything to do.
Since Random couldn’t think of what to do, he started to panic from his indecision. He started to freak out and tried running away, but you can’t run while falling from the sky so that didn’t work. Not knowing he was doing it, Random started to flap his arms, more like he was trying not to drown instead of use his arms to fly through the air.
Luckily for Random a giant hawk saw him flapping his arms and thought Random was an injured bird and therefore easy prey. The hawk swooped down and plucked Random from the air just before Random reached the solid unforgiving ground.
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217.
The rocket was jettisoning from the earth at a good speed until it ran out of fuel. Random didn’t think to check to see if it had enough before he blasted off and he regretted that with all of his being. The rocket reached the highest elevation it was going to go and then slowly turned around and started to fall back to earth. As it fell it gained more and more speed. Random really didn’t like what was going on so he simply got off the rocket.
This didn’t help Random’s current situation since he was still free falling towards the earth at a rate that wouldn’t benefit him when he reached the ground.
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216.
Random didn’t want to be bothered by thinking about decisions on what to eat so he went down the slide at the back of the store. Going down the slide was so much fun he decided to do that again and again. After about a dozen slides Random sat down to take a rest. Before he knew it Random had fallen asleep. When he woke up, he was in the middle of a forest and there were lobsters falling from the trees and snapping heir claws at him. Radom didn’t like the look of the lobsters, so he strapped himself into the rocket ship and blasted off into space.
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215.
Once the horse was out of the way, Random looked around for something to eat. Since he didn’t get to eat anything under the tree and all he could think about now was food, he went searching for something that would hit the spot.
Random looked all over the store but didn’t see anything that looked really good to him. He then thought way too much about all the options and felt like he was making a once in a lifetime decision when it was a millionth in a lifetime decision and he wouldn’t even remember what he decided a day from now.
Random finally gave up overthinking what he wanted to eat and picked the next thing he saw. He opened the package and started to eat. As he was eating, he didn’t feel like he made the right decision and instantly regretted what he had picked.
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214.
Random yelped from the pain. He quickly rubbed his skin where the bubble had touched it. That felt a little better but before Random could do anything else another bubble popped on his other arm and then another bubble popped on top of his head. Random started to scream more from the frustration of getting hit by burning bubbles than the pain they inflicted. Random didn’t enjoy this activity at all so he ran under some trees for cover.
Once Random saw he was safe from the burning bubbles, he looked around at his new surroundings. He found there was a gorgeous spread of food elegantly displayed. Random wondered who the food was for. He looked around and didn’t see anyone, so he decided to make himself a plate and eat some food.
The second Random touched the first piece of food he was transported to the middle of a grocery store. There he saw a cartoon bear eating honey out of a large jar and some bats playing chess. Before Random could react, a horse nudged him in the back and told him to get out of the way. Random stepped aside to allow the horse to move past him.
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213.
Once outside Random was pleased to find it had stopped raining. There also wasn’t any indication there would be lightning strikes anywhere nearby. Random breathed a sigh of relief but was startled to see bubbles floating down from the sky. It appeared the sky was raining bubbles now. They didn’t look scary or harmful in anyway, but the sight of seeing them was so different, they gave Random a start. After watching them for a few seconds Random felt calmer. Then one of the bubbles touched Random’s skin and slightly burned him when it popped on his exposed flesh.
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212.
Random was a little freaked out that he almost got electrocuted so he went inside to get away from all the lightning. Once inside Random cursed himself because he forgot his facemask in the car. He didn’t want to go back outside in the rain and lightning to get it, so he pulled his shirt up over his nose. This worked for a hot second until a salamander dropped on his head. Random let go of his shirt to swat the salamander away and when he did that a bucket of water was thrown in his face.
Random whisked the water from his eyes to see a group of treefrogs glaring at him. Random didn’t know what to make of the situation and he didn’t like how everyone was looking at him, so he went back outside to brave the elements.
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211.
Random didn’t want to be bothered anymore by trying to figure out if he could influence events in his life by his thoughts. It seemed like a lot of experimenting was needed and the results could possibly never be truly verified, so Random decided to move on and do something else with his time.
Random saw the ant crawling on the sidewalk and he thought it would be a good idea to get some food, so Random walked over to the fountain and threw a few pennies in. He made a wish and knew it would never come true so wondered why he just threw money away like that. Since it was only a few cents he didn’t really care all that much. Random saw the leaves blowing in the wind. It was strange because the leaves were attached to the hat of the man writing the e-mail to his friends.
This was all fine and dandy but Random really wanted to do something exciting. He looked all around and didn’t see anything of interest, so he decided to fly a kite. That was okay and sort of fun until it got struck by lightning. Luckily Random let go of the string before he could get electrocuted.
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210.
Random wanted to test out his theory so he thought about good positive things. He really concentrated on positive feelings and tried to feel as much of the positive energy flow through him as possible.
He then went about his day expecting miracles to manifest countless times in front of him. The first thing he saw was a giant hippo eating ice cream. Random didn’t know what to make of that so he didn’t count that as anything and moved on.
The next things Random saw was a college student writing a paper on a laptop. Random didn’t know what to make of that either so he moved on again.
Then Random saw a beautiful landscape in the best possible weather. He knew this was a good thing from his positive thoughts. Then it suddenly started to rain. Random got soaked within seconds. He didn’t think this was a result of his positive thoughts but since he was only thinking positive thoughts why would the weather change so drastically and quickly like that? Did having positive or negative thoughts have any influence over anything other than your own mood?
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209.
Random felt pretty good with everything that was going on. He hoped things would continue to go well and he would feel happy. He knew that life wasn’t like that and it was inevitable that things would go downhill at some point. Random wondered how much he influenced things going bad from him having expectations that they would. If he didn’t ever expect anything to go wrong, when things did go wrong would they be less severe than if he was expecting something to go wrong? Did he have the power to make things worse by focusing on negative things? At the same time did he have the power to make things better by focusing on positive things?
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208.
As Random picked himself up off the ground and rubbed his face where it slammed into the ground, he wondered if karma was actually a thing and it just let him know of its existence. Random didn’t think so but at the same time he didn’t want to completely ignore it in case it was real. He decided he would try to give more of a fuck about other peoples’ feelings, but he would also be sure to make sure he didn’t get walked all over in the process.
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