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Please stop snooping at unmarked graves. Sometimes things need to be forgotten.
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Please stop trying to fight the psychic raccoons, we're not sure if they have rabies.
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Remember, kids, the best way to handle a vampire isn't a stake threw the heart. You chop it up, nail the eyes, and then burn it.
Luckily, most vampires are easygoing and don't require such drastic measures.
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Keep an eye on the sky tonight, you may see something ancient and immortal and unsightly.
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Please stop throwing ice into the lake. Not only are you going to get eaten by the Ladies, it's not going to cool the town down either way.
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A gentle reminder to stop throwing things in the lake, because you are disturbing The Ladies and they will eat you.
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Ghosts are lonely, so just say hi and stop throwing rocks at them.
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Please don't eat the mushrooms, they're interdimensional and we WILL NOT be able to find you.
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Everyone, please remember to leave your doors open tonight.
The Easter Bunny wants to say hello.
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Please stop harassing the museum workers, they are not responsible for the propaganda.
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STOP YELLING AT THE MUSEUM EXHIBITS, THEY CAN HEAR YOU AND YOU'RE MAKING THEM CRY!!!
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As spring approaches, ease remember to get a good, sturdy garbage bin. Even if we don't have many bears, we do have werewolves and they will eat your trash.
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Please go to the graveyard. They're lonely again.
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Please stop summoning Bloody Mary, she has better things to do then entertain you.
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If you see a stitched-up girl in a hospital gown walking around, that's just Eve. And if you see Victor West, please let him know that reanimating a person via electricity is technically the same as having a kid, and he needs to step the fuck up.
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To whomever is vandalizing gravestones, knock it off. The dead don't stay dead and they know were you live.
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