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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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Shiori Koizumi (Dangan Ronpa)

I came across THIS...thing with some help from a tipster, who pointed me in the right direction for finding information on her.

She’s just as bad - but a different kind of bad - as Aura Chikage, an OC I reviewed waaaay back in my early beastly days. And let me tell you, this one is a doozy.

This image is one of multiple pictures the author has commissioned of their OC, which wouldn’t be a problem (comm those artists and support them!) except...she looks STRANGELY similar to another black-haired character in Dangan Ronpa.

Which also wouldn’t be a huge problem...if this OC’s talent wasn’t “SHSL Sharpshooter” and is also apparently a police officer, which is so close to Mukuro’s title of SHSL Soldier and also to the fact that Mukuro had an aptitude with ranged weapons.

But this is only the beginning of a beautiful disaster, my friends.

Name: Shiori Toriyama Koizumi Nickname(s): Shiorin, Zumi-chan Age: 17 (20 in present day) Species: Human

Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other Height: 5′1″ (155 cm) Weight: 105 lb (47 kg)

Now this WOULD all be fine, but if you’re wondering why the author has that middle name crossed out, you’re in for a wild ride later on.

Morality: Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic / Good / Gray / Evil Religious Belief: Agnostic Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice Primary Goals In Life: To help others, fall in love, get married, and have a family of her own.

LOOK. AT. THAT. The author claims this OC embodies every single virtue except for ‘chastity’ and only represents two ‘sins’ (envy and lust). Right off the bat this girl has 2 flaws that are immediately rendered pointless due to her wanting “to help others”, too.

Also, if I had a nickel for every time someone put “to help others” in their OC’s goals in life I’d have so many jars of nickels I could play an endless game of pinball.

Languages Known: Japanese, some English, learning French Secrets: Her father abused her and left countless scars on her legs, she doesn’t go by her true family name, her talent as a sharpshooter, and her occupation with the police. Quirks: Biting her lips, playing with her hair, hesitant speech. Savvies: Cooking and baking, archery and sharpshooting.

Occupation: SHSL Sharpshooter/Lieutenant at the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department

Why does she know how to do archery?! Archery is COMPLETELY different than shooting a gun, which is this OC’s particular talent (which the author specifies everywhere and has pictures of this OC holding guns). Is she SHSL Archer? No? No SHSL Archery for you then. You have to pick ONE talent to be SHSL level for HPA. You can’t have more than one.

Also, not going by one’s ‘true’ family name isn’t that huge of a secret. Neither is being a ‘sharpshooter’ or working for the police department. This person clearly didn’t do their research on what sharpshooters actually DO.

I’m going to address the whole abusive father thing later, because the story behind it is completely ludicrous. Keep in mind the “Lieutenant” position as well - you’ll see why this will be important later on.

{ TRAITS }

Positive:

Polite Kindhearted Loyal Extremely empathetic

Negative:

Low self-esteem Shy Empathetic (to a fault) Anxious Afraid to get too close to others Stubborn

These would be acceptable if this OC didn’t already:

1. Embody almost every single ‘virtue’ except for chastity.

2. Have shy as a negative trait - which it isn’t. It’s just a trait. It’s neither positive or negative.

3. How can she be empathetic if she’s supposedly too afraid to get too close to others? Empathetic people USUALLY try to be close or at least on pleasant terms with different people because that’s what being empathetic means.

4. It’s hard for me to believe that this girl is stubborn if she’s already kindhearted and polite, and not to mention she has low self-esteem. How is she stubborn if she’s so nice all the time?

Physical Powers: N/A Speed: 9/10 Charisma: 8/10

What does that even mean, ‘Speed: 9/10′?! Being athletic is not a requirement for being a police officer, neither is it required to operate a gun extremely well!

And why is her charisma so high?! Isn’t she supposed to have low self-esteem? People who have high charisma NATURALLY have high self-esteem because being charismatic means being able to appear likable and confident to anyone you meet!

Her ‘self-esteem’ flaw is already contradicted by this!

Powers/Abilities: Near-perfect precision and accuracy. Restrictions: Anxiety, low self-confidence Physical or Mental Illnesses: PTSD, GAD, possible agoraphobia

Remember the ‘Lieutenant with the police department thing’? Remember how I said that it was important?

Why is this girl - who apparently has MULTIPLE mental illnesses and disorders - working for the police department, let alone a Lieutenant?!

The problem isn’t that she HAS these disorders - OCs that have disorders and illnesses are just fine when researched. The problem is that she’s working for the police department. No sane police chief would ever employ someone with such severe mental illnesses like PTSD and ANXIETY in any position - not even something like dispatch, let alone do any field work, due to the stressful nature of policework. They’d be a potential liability to themselves and to others, and you would never want to put anyone in that situation.

Picture a situation like this - the police department has a hostage situation, and needs to bring in their SHSL Sharpshooter ‘Lieutenant’ to get sights on the perpetrator, just in case. Someone with PTSD and/or anxiety AND POSSIBLE AGORAPHOBIA would not handle that situation well at all. If anything, they’d make the situation more dangerous due to the fact that they’re operating a gun, and may possibly have a panic attack due to being stressed out.

It’s incredibly stupid and not to mention counterproductive to put someone with bad anxiety disorders and PTSD into a situation that would only make those things worse. Not to mention any bad fallout from that could hold the entire police department accountable/liable, which no one would ever do.

Backstory:

daisuke was a pencil pusher. he took some college classes on and off, but wasn’t very dedicated; instead, he got an office job, right in the middle: not low enough for a terrible salary, but he wasn’t going anywhere, especially not up.

mariko became a stay at home mom, and she poured everything into shiori. she still painted and occasionally sculpted at times, and she let shiori play around with her supplies at a young age. however, mariko didn’t want shiori to feel like she had to be an artist, so she let her choose what she wanted to do as an afterschool activity. shiori chose gymnastics–something that still aides her in her line of work today.

The beginning part was fine, but THEN...

“shiori chose gymnastics–something that still aides her in her line of work today.”

Is she on a fucking cop drama? Gymnastics do not aide police officers - OR Sharpshooters for that matter - in their line of work. They don’t constantly run around parkouring across cities trying to track down ne-er do-weller’s. She’s not the fucking Batman.

Snipers pick a point to sit and wait all day for their mark. And since she’s not in the military, the chances of her killing people and running around from post to post on a routine basis are ZERO. Police departments use snipers MAINLY for several things: hostile/hostage situations, patrolling coasts and borders for possible threats (recon), and surveillance. That’s it. The majority of the time a police sniper is out on the range, improving their skills - as in, their marksmanship skills, not their fucking athletics.

the toriyamas lived a normal life, until daisuke started turning to alcohol. he despised how completely and utterly average he was–and yet, he wasn’t willing to make the effort to better himself. he began to turn his anger on his family, starting with mariko.

mariko put up with a lot of shit. she wanted to hold the family together for shiori, but it became harder and harder as time went on. daisuke initially only abused her verbally, but then he became physical, slapping and pushing mariko down, berating her with bruises all over her body.

with shiori, it was only verbal abuse at first as well. daisuke had wanted a son, and he saw her as incredibly weak. he would yell at her that he regretted her birth, and if she was going to live in his house she was going to become the perfect lady–not only so she could marry up, but because he loved having the power over demure and subservient women like mariko.

Honestly if this OC wasn’t already so bad I might care more, but this lead up all feels like unnecessary angst tacked on to this clusterfuck of a character.

shiori was taught perfect manners, perfect posture, and perfect speaking habits. while she disliked these lessons–she was rather silly and rambunctious as a child–she knew she had to endure them, as every time she refused to or did something wrong, she was yelled at, and later slapped or hit.

kenji koizumi was the girls’ saving grace. mariko’s police officer brother would often stop by with treats and toys for shiori and groceries for mariko since she had become afraid of going outside. eventually, he almost started living there, spending all of his free time protecting his girls. after all, daisuke knew that if he pulled anything when kenji was around, he would be arrested.

Yes, the uncle is their SAVIOR. Their ONE PROTECTOR.

It all just feels so heavy-handed.

daisuke started coming home sporadically. he spent a lot of time in bars, and eventually he even found a mistress and began living with her half the time. while it was nice for shiori and mariko not having him around, it also scared them–what would happen when he came home? their anxiety became so bad that even when kenji would come, they both would flinch at the door opening.

the tension in the toriyama home kept building and building until that one fateful night. daisuke came home, fueled by anger and alcohol, and immediately sought out mariko. he pushed her down and yelled in her face, smacking her and even threatening to kill her. shiori could hear all of this from her room, as her mother had sensed something coming and sent her there so she was safe.

but…shiori was done. she didn’t want this to happen anymore. even though she was a child, she was going to do something so that daisuke would leave them alone for good. she came out of her room and pushed him away with all of her might, taking a defensive stance in front of her mother.

Remember how I said how bullshit this story gets? Well, here it comes.

well, we all know what happens next. he took a vase and smashed it over shiori’s head, causing her to fall over, knocked a bit senseless. daisuke grabbed one of the larger shards of glass and began cutting at her legs, completely mad. he wouldn’t stop–he couldn’t stop. mariko quickly crawled over to the phone and called an ambulance, leading to her brother finding out as well.

when the paramedics and police arrived, shiori was completely unconscious, her legs covered in cuts and blood–she was bleeding pretty heavily, and if she didn’t have a transfusion soon she could have died. kenji rushed over to daisuke and almost punched him, but the other officers held him back. the paramedics asked mariko what had happened, and after meeting her husband’s eyes she softly said something that would break everyone in the room.

“it was an accident.”kenji froze, and let go of daisuke, going over towards shiori instead. he felt so guilty–he could have prevented this, he was a police officer for goodness’ sake. of course, he was powerless now–since mariko refused to accuse her husband, he couldn’t do anything. all he could do was hold her tightly while her daughter–their daughter–was strapped up and wheeled inside the ambulance. they both rode with her to the hospital, completely numb and unable to even cry.

This is so stupid.

First of all if she had gotten a VASE smashed on her head she’d have scars on her face as well, but of course she’s gotta be all pretty and cute!!11! Can’t have SCARS on her face, apparently!

Not to mention that is not how anything related to domestic violence related cases work. Just because Mariko didn’t want to testify against her husband didn’t mean that they couldn’t have convicted him. After all, Daisuke picked up glass and it would’ve had prints literally all over the shards. Prints don’t just poof just because you get blood on them, not to mention he would’ve have Shiori’s blood on him if he cut her with fucking glass.

There would’ve been SO MUCH EVIDENCE against this guy that they wouldn’t even need a witness because he wouldn’t have had a solid alibi! This would be the easiest domestic violence case in the history of cases like this and the uncle just blows this off because “Mariko couldn’t accuse her husband”.

He’s either the worst police officer ever or this story just reeks of bullshit. Is it both? It may be both.

at the hospital, shiori was given some blood transfusions and stitches on her legs. it took her a while to wake up, and at first she didn’t remember what had happened. to this day it’s still a blur to her–all she remembers is the vase shattering, and her father cutting her all over. the rest is blank.

shiori and mariko began living a slightly calmer life after that. even though shiori was plagued by anxiety, depression, and ptsd, she was able to obtain some medication to help–after much trial and error, and since she was a child it was a slow process. she also met with a therapist as well, but she never directly discussed the incident.

I’m too pissed off to even care. Moving on.

the incident caused shiori’s personality to shift. while she had always been polite, kind, and empathetic, she became much quieter and more hesitant while speaking, afraid that she would say something wrong. she quit gymnastics as she didn’t want to risk anyone seeing her legs, and began to wear tights all the time.

in the present day, daisuke has completely moved out of the koizumi (nee toriyama) apartment, living with the other woman. he sends checks to his wife every month so she can’t do anything against them, even if they have been getting smaller and smaller over the years. they don’t know where he is, since the envelopes have no return address, but he clearly still knows where they do. even though he seems to have left their lives, both women worry that one day he’ll return.

Aaand there you go. Her father not being convicted is just a bullshit way of having this OC have to live in constant fear because she just didn’t have enough things to make you feel bad for her about.

Oh, have you figured out by now? Her big secret is that ‘Toriyama’ is her father’s last name and that’s why she doesn’t use it. Such angst.

☢ Personality Flaw(s):

“Um…I know I’m too shy, and quiet…I know my anxiety gets in the way of a lot of things, as well…and I wish I wasn’t so secretive about things, but…I’m just so afraid of what will happen if someone finds out about my talent…I don’t want to lose any friends, and I don’t want anyone to be scared of me…”

Who the fuck would be afraid of this girl?

She’s shy, skinny, and basically can’t defend herself without a gun. Literally no one has any reason to be afraid of her. Not to mention her ‘talent’ isn’t even that threatening, especially because she works for the police and not some shady big bad organization or something. I can see someone feeling intimidated by SHSL Gangster or a title that implies something sinister, but Sharpshooter is one of the more tame talents.

Not to mention ‘being afraid to lose friends’ isn’t even a flaw. Why is it even listed under ‘flaws’? She just needed more angst to go with her emo backstory, right?

✯ Perfect day:

“My perfect day? Hmm…I would really like if I was able to sleep in with Togami-kun and our cats…all curled up and warm…then we could spend the rest of the day together, reading books, playing games, or watching his favorite documentaries…then I’d make dinner, and lots of sweets for us to share…and then we’d cuddle up together and fall asleep…”

I almost forgot to mention - the author ships this OC with Togami so much that they have multiple pieces of art of the two together, with Togami almost always in out-of-character poses and/or situations. So much so that they also ship this OC with a ‘twin’ version of Togami who is female. Who doesn’t canonically exist, by the way.

Here is just ONE example of this:

Yes, Togami is DEFINITELY the type to just give out smooches to his LIFETIME girlfriend.

I’ve also been told that the author themselves likes to VIOLENTLY argue with anyone who points this out, though I haven’t found any evidence to back this up. Presumably it was deleted.

Togami would probably kick this girl to the curb, just like he did with any other female protagonist in DR who showed any sort of interest in him whatsoever. He warded off of all of Fukawa’s advances and any possible implied teasing between him and Asahina was shut down by him. Chances are, he wouldn’t even notice this girl because she’s supposedly shy and quiet. The only reason he became less of a jerk toward the end of the events of the first game is because he didn’t want to die, and if he had continued acting so difficult, he was probably going to get murdered.

I’d also like to point out that they have even more of this OC’s traits listed out, and of course they contradict and/or cancel out traits from before:

Yeah because she’s so BRAVE with her goddamn shyness and being quiet all the time. Also, doesn’t she keep a lot of things about herself a secret? How is she honest if she’s keeping secrets all the time? Does she just say “YEP you got me there” if someone asks her anything?

I still can’t reconcile the fact that she supposedly has high charisma if she’s so damn insecure and self-conscious about herself.

Recap:

Tear it all down. This OC needs to be re-built from the bottom up - even the appearance, because it already doesn’t help that this OC looks incredibly similar to Mukuro and even has a similar talent.

She’s got conflicting information dotting her personality left and right, and what little things that DO match up are completely invalidated by her traits. Her backstory is unnecessarily angst-ridden and doesn’t even make sense in the situation, she works for the police department when she really shouldn’t be in any stressful situations due to her PTSD and anxiety, her random gymnastics skills and ‘athletic’ ability make ZERO sense to ‘help’ her with her ‘profession’, her only flaws is that she’s “too shy and kind”, she’s in an EXTREMELY out-of-character relationship with a canon character...THERE’S JUST SO MUCH WRONG.

There aren’t enough words to even begin to describe how bad this is. This OC reaches a different level of horrible than Aura Chikage; these two deserve each other in DR Sue hell.

---THE BEAST’S FINAL VERDICT: Picked clean and then shot right into the trash. Hopefully this Sue won’t give me indigestion.---

#Dangan Ronpa #reviews #original character #emo backstory #conflicting personality #Fuck Canon #canon character pairing #special snowflake #mary sue #sympathy sue #kawaii as fuck #Lack of research #angst overboard #no flaws #hall of shame

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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FIRST NAMES

Legal and/or Official: This is the name on legal documents. If there are no birth certificates, this name will be the equivalent of what you would put on legal documents. Not all people go by their legal or official name for several reasons. One reason could be that no one in a given culture goes by this name, but instead by a casual name. This name could be used for legal, religious, or political purposes. These names do not have to be given at birth.

Birth Name: The birth name is obviously the name given at birth, but it doesn’t have to be right after birth. It can be days, weeks, or even months after. The birth name can also be a temporary name until an official name is chosen. It depends on the culture you’ve created.

Given Name: The given name is the first name that people in Western society are referred to on a daily basis. For example, a person whose legal name is “Daniel” might go by “Dan”, or they might just go by “Daniel”.

Nickname: The nickname is different from shortened versions of names. While a person may prefer a shortened version of their name for casual use, a nickname of “Daniel” would be “Danny Boy”. However, some nicknames are used regularly like the nicknames in Holes.

Religious or Spiritual Name: Some first names are chosen for religious purposes. This could be standard in the culture you’ve created or it could be a casual occurrence.

Symbolic Name:

Appearance: Self-explanatory. However, these names might not appear until later in life.

Meaning: This refers to two things:

Author meaning: This is when you, the author, chooses a name, that exists in our world or that has roots from our world, because of its meaning.

Story meaning: This is when your character’s name is chosen because it has meaning in their fictional world.

MIDDLE NAMES

Legal and/or Official: See above.

Birth Name: See above.

Given Name: A person’s given name might actually be their middle name (see example 2 below).

Religious or Spiritual Name: Religious and spiritual names that are given or chosen are often done so for religious and spiritual purposes. For example, in some versions of Catholicism, children choose a saint’s name to be Confirmed under, thus making this name their Confirmation name. Some people make this part of their legal name while others do not.

Symbolic Name: See above.

Meaning: See above.

Appearance: See above.

SURNAMES

Ancestral: These are surnames that come from an ancestor of an individual. They can also come from a place.

Chosen: Chosen names are self explanatory, but they can also fall in the adopted category below.

Hereditary: Hereditary surnames are surnames that have been passed down through generations and that are used by the family. Any name can eventually become a hereditary name.

Clan: A clan name is a name that shows a person is a descendant of a certain person. This brings all these descendants together because they claim the same lineage, thus making them a clan. Clan names can exist alongside another surname. This varies by culture and not everyone will be associated with a clan. These are similar to ancestral names, but ancestral names are more personal and individualistic.

Occupation: Surnames can come from a person’s job. These names

Adopted: An adopted surname is just that. It is chosen by a person who adopts it from someone else. Reasons for adopting a surname from someone else vary.

Forced: Forced surnames are names that are forced on a person. This can be through adoption, kidnapping, slavery, immigration, cultural change, certain marriage practices, and a few other situations.

Appearance: See above.

Place Name: Some surnames are based on where a person is from (“George of X”).

None: Surnames do not exist everywhere.

ALL

Importance: Some names have significant importance to a culture. This importance can be political, religious, or just well known within a society. If certain names hold political importance (most likely surnames) and you are writing characters from well known families, make it known that their family name is important. For example, upon hearing your characters name, the behavior of others might change around them.

Taboo: Some names can be taboo or they can hold negative connotations based on historical context. For example, when people hear the name “Adolf”, they think of Hitler. If your characters have a name that is considered taboo in your world, that may affect your character. Names can be taboo for any reason. It might be taboo to be named after a deceased paternal family member or it might be taboo for a child to be given the same name as the current ruler.

Outlawed: Not all names are up for use. There could be a written law that certain names are not to be used or there could be an unwritten law that using certain names is disrespectful. For example, naming children after deities or important figures in your world’s culture could be considered illegal or at least deeply frowned upon.

Title: Like I said above, some titles can be considered names or at least part of a name. This probably won’t be part of a person’s legal name, but they might be addressed this way daily.

Syllables: Some names might be required to have a certain amount of syllables.

Epithets: Sometimes, if a child has the same name as the parent, something might be added to the name to differentiate between the two.

Traditional: Some people might have a traditional name to honor heritage or culture and an official or legal name.

NAME PATTERNS

Many cultures have certain prefixes or suffixes that indicate if a name if feminine, masculine, neither, or both. Make a list of suffixes or prefixes that are associated with gender to help keep naming patterns in your fictional world. You can also have different versions of the same name this way.

Below I will give examples of a fictional naming systems.

Keep reading

#name generator #research #worldbuilding #writing resource #writing reference #character creation #treasure hoard

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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How should I go about creating my characters hairstyles? I can never find any that look like they would go on my character and I can never decide what would look good on them. Also how do you describe characters appearances naturally in a story?

One of the pluses of working in a non-visual medium is that you don’t have to know just exactly how everything looks!

If you’re doing character design for something like animation or a comic, you’re going to have to figure out the details of what everyone looks like (from all angles! yikes!), but in writing, you can gloss over whatever visuals you want.

For example– instead of describing what kind of hairstyle your character has, you could just say that it was ‘stylish’ or ‘unkempt’ or even ‘in desperate need of a trim’.

words to describe hair(styles):

- cropped - layered - long- fluffy - sleek - shiny -shaggy - wiry - curly - wavy - straight - bobbed - overgrown- braided - coiffed - smooth- wild - fashionable- unfashionable - elaborate - simple - highlighted - pulled up/back- clipped

If you are doing something that is (or will be translated to) visual media, you can always try looking up different hairstyles online– there are a lot of examples! And if you’re writing a regional or period piece, you can also look into what was fashionable for people in different times and places. As when deciding any other aspect of a characters appearance, consider:

What does this detail convey about them?(In terms of: Personality? Time period? Region? Social class? Performative intent? Current situation? Age? Occupation? Subculture? Desire to blend in or stand out? Practicality?)

Appearance and personality are always sort of interesting to work out, because people act out their personalities in such different ways– for example, someone who doesn’t give a damn about their hair might keep it short so it’s a non-issue in their daily life, but someone else who doesn’t give a damn about their hair might grow it out long because they think going to the barber is a pain. Likewise, someone might wear dresses all the time and seem like they’re quite a snappy dresser– but dresses are a whole outfit inside a single garment, so maybe they just have to dress in a hurry everyday and plan accordingly! Some good times to work a characters appearance into the narrative:

- When introducing a new character (keep it a little brief, though, stick to what really stands out about them!) - When highlighting differences between characters - When revealing aspects of a characters personality that you want to show rather than tell - When they look different than they usually do - When a POV character is paying particular attention to another person- When you want to imply where they’ve been or what they’re doing - When it’s affected by the environment or narrative

Try folding descriptions into the narrative as you describe a scene– for example, appearances can create a non-verbal exchange between two characters:

Ada’s hair was pulled up into something sleek and viciously stylish. Professionally crisp highlights kissed the darker blonde of her hair, accenting the warm tones of her skin just so. She looked like she’d never had a split end in her life. Kai’s mind went immediately to kitchen scissors and the rough, ragged ends of her own home-clipped hair. She stopped herself before she could touch the limp curtain of hair around her face, but couldn’t prevent the flush she felt spreading across her cheeks. A slow, faux-modest grin spread across Ada’s face. It was obvious to Kai that Ada was used to inspiring a sense of hot, shameful inadequacy in others with just a look. She grit her teeth.

I think that the biggest trap that writers fall into when describing characters is to list out the same set of features, in a way that isn’t fresh, and isn’t specific (or is overwrought). I’m talking about the laundry list of hair color, eye color, height. It’s not bad to include these things, but just saying that a character has blue eyes a) isn’t a very distinguishing feature b) doesn’t say much about the character’s personality.

Think of how you describe real people when you’re trying to explain who they are to someone else– you go with the most distinctive or descriptive things. Instead of saying “you know, the guy with the reddish blonde hair?” which could mean several people, saying “that guy who looks like he’s under a geas to not cut his hair or he’ll lose his powers” really narrows the pool down.

I hope that that answered your question!-Evvy

#writing resource #writing reference #character creation #character guide #treasure hoard

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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Honeybear Atelier Boz Rolando replicas

#Character Design #fantasy #scifi #treasure hoard

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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dear fiction writers:

as far as I know, there is no large carnivore who would abandon actively eating a killed meal to chase live prey. chasing and hunting live prey is a risk, as a healthy live creature has the capability to injure a carnivore, or tire it out through the chase. If there is, say, a giant pile of dead bodies to eat, which abandoning would allow other carnivores or scavengers to steal and eat instead, it makes no sense at all.

please stop doing that thing

#research #character development #writing resource #writing reference #LMAO it annoys the hell out of me when tv shows and movies do this too #treasure hoard

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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Hullo Beast! I made you a piece of artwork, but I can't send you the link. Nor, can I paste the image. What do I do?

Oh, that’s so nice of you!

Hmm. Try uploading it to a private tumblr or an image-hosting site, and then try submitting the link as a question, like this (just as an example):

http: // thewritingbeast . tumblr.com / post / 143805528231 / what - are - some-good-ways - to- set- up- a-surprise

Basically, I just put a bunch of spaces interspersed throughout. Should trick tumblr into thinking it isn’t a link! You can also try putting parentheses in random spots too.

#it makes my day when you guys make things for me #This is just so nice #asks #anonymous #beastly musings

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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Are there any resources you have for avoiding stereotypes? I'm trying to write characters that are minorities and stuff like that, and despite using both direct sources and researching, im scared ill get something wrong and offend/hurt someone.

First off, “character that are minorities and stuff like that” is WAY too broad, because there are literally thousands of cultural identities and a better way to phrase that is POC, which stands for “people of colour”.

However, POC in this case would also be too broad, because you’re looking for stereotypes to avoid - stereotypes of who? Black people? Romani people? Japanese people? Jewish people? The first step is to understand what ethnicity your character is and what cultural identity they might belong to. “Minorities and stuff like that” are not one monolithic group who all get offended by the same thing.

After you’ve determined who you want to write about and what their cultural and ethnic identity would be, you do a ton research on their culture. I recommend that you do not write about someone’s experience WITHIN that culture - for example, if you are not an American black woman, you really shouldn’t write about a character and what it’s like for her to be black and living in America, as you don’t have the experience to write that story. You can if you want, but there are way better voices for that story and they come from female black writers who have lived in America. That doesn’t mean don’t write a character whose cultural identity isn’t yours - certainly do write different POC into your stories - just make sure you do a lot of research. Asking people/reading peoples’ experiences whose cultural identity and ethnicity are the same as your characters’ should also be done alongside research.

There are also a ton of resources out there on avoiding stereotypes for specific groups - Writing with Colour is a wonderful blog, as is Diversity Cross Check. If you ask them the same question you just asked me, they are likely going to tell you the same thing I did, which is to narrow down who you’re writing about and why. So you really need to figure out who it is you’re going to be writing about first. As long as you do your research, and ask people whose cultural and ethnic identity match the one you’re writing about, it is very easy to not offend someone with stereotypes about their culture and/or ethnic identity.

#asks #anonymous #advice #character creation #diversity #research #stereotypes

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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So I hace a question about a goddess-like type of character or more like characters, the thing is in the story the goddess was forced/cursed to split into pieces which were then forced on human bodies, my concern is if it could be expected that the human characters in question to hace "leaks" of power, memories etc thus having the danger of their identities being overwritten by it, can the characters realisticaly hope to beat the influence without making it seem too of 'humanity rocks' cliche?

So there are some people have shards of the goddess residing in their bodies, and that they’re constantly attempting to prevent the goddess from overtaking their own body because the shards contain her memories and power? Sounds pretty interesting.

Well for starters, not every human trying to overcome something is a “humanity rocks” type of plotline. You could focus on each individual person and their own individual struggle to maintain their sense of identity. This way, you make part of your story about the importance of your own identity and sense of self, even when there may be outside or internal forces trying to change who you are. I guarantee no one is going to immediately think “wow this person is all ‘humanity rocks’ up in this story”.

As long as you don’t put emphasis on humans overcoming this GREAT PERIL TOGETHER! then you won’t end up with that cliche. Avoid writing about how great humans are as a whole in combating the goddess’ powers, and instead focus on how individuals are able to overcome (or maybe even not overcome) the influence of the goddess ‘shards’.

#asks #anonymous #godlike characters #sorta #fantasy #advice #character development

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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Hello fabled beast! I have something to ask of you. You see, I have three characters in a story, they are all cats. However when I asked one of my (chinese) friends to look at them, he noticed that one of the characters has a "Chinese-sounding" name. However, she is a cat. I didn't intend for it to be interpreted like that, what do you think? Should I change it?

I’ll admit, I snorted at “However, she is a cat”.

Well, that depends. In your story are there humans? If there’s no equivalent to Chinese culture in your story and it’s just about these cats, then you might consider changing it. But then again, what is a “cat-sounding” name that isn’t attached to any culture? I know there’s several book series that have settings where everyone is a cat or just one animal type, so I would look to series like that for ideas on how to name your characters.

However, more often than not, those authors will give their characters names they think suit the character, which tends to be names from their own culture (or at least names that sound vaguely of one culture or another). I don’t think there’s any one way or the other - whether or not you change is kind of up to you.

#asks #anonymous #advice #fantasy #character creation #this was...an odd question lol

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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And it turned out amazing!

A little mini-me is now asleep on my blog!

Sleep away to critique another day.

Commission Art! Animated pixel Commission from the @thewritingbeast!

#skully-drawls #skully-skulltopus #wiggles fingers you should commission this person #you want to commission this person #art #beastly musings #pixel art

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thewritingbeast-blog · 8 years

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What are some good ways to set up a surprise villain reveal without being too obvious or making it look like I pulled the surprise villain out of my butt?

Villain reveals are always fun! Surprise villains even more so, but they need to be done properly in order to avoid doing the dreaded Asspull.

Introduce an important side character who aids the protagonist throughout the story, then at the middle/end point reveal them as the villain. This establishes the character’s possible motivations early on, as well as gives them a personality. You don’t want your villains to be flat characters, after all. You can make them cartoonishly evil (i.e “I CAN’T believe you were STUPID ENOUGH to think I would HELP YOU! Now my evil plan is complete! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”), but it mostly depends on the tone and seriousness of your plot and story.

Introduce the protagonist, tell the entire story from their perspective, and then at the end reveal them as the villain. This is a favourite technique of mine, as it establishes your villain as a dynamic character and also (if you do it right), makes your audience root for them and then feel all morally questioned when the reveal comes. Also a great way to start off a multiple book/chapter/whatever series, as you can start the first book like this and then write the other sequels from the actual protagonist’s point of view. Great for creating Grey and Gray Morality situations, though be careful your villain doesn’t wander too far into anti-hero territory. Of course, if this was your intention, then great! If not, make sure you keep your villains’ actions firmly planted into villain territory (for example, they believe their terrible actions are truly creating a better world).

Introduce a Chekhov’s Gunman early on in the story, and at the end have them be the villain. A Chekhov’s Gunman reveal is different than a side character reveal, because your ‘Gunman’ is ALWAYS a massively unimportant character who seems to have no real reason to be in the story (other than to just be a random character). It’s like the whole, “the Butler did it” in old-fashioned mystery whodunnits, or “the dog was the mastermind” as the person you least expected. However, these are a bit trickier to be done right as the villain reveal will feel more out of left-field and you might have more of a chance of your readers accusing you of an Asspull. Just make sure you do mention said ‘Gunman’ at some point early on in your story, otherwise it really will be an Asspull if you never mention them at all.

Have your villain’s appearance never known to the protagonist/the audience, and then reveal the villain to have actually been someone the protagonist already knew or was even close to. This is a bit similar to the side character/protagonist reveal, but it’s different in that we know who the villain is. We just don’t know who they really are. Think Big Hero 6′s villain reveal, or the Star Wars villain reveal of Darth Vader. The villain is typically masked, hooded, a combination of both, or they operate from behind the scenes - the protagonist knows that someone’s messing with them, but they don’t know the “true identity” of said villain. You’ll get a “it was you all along!” moment, but it’s always better when the villain is someone the protagonist is close to/was close to.

Keep in mind that you need to time villain reveals properly - which usually comes at the middle or end of a story. If it’s at the mid point of a story, it’s typically when the Real Villain takes the place of the previous villain (the Disc One Final Boss, if you would), and the protagonist has to challenge said villain for the rest of the story. If it’s toward the end, it’s usually a cliffhanger ending that tends to lead well into sequels, or you’re just a sadistic bastard and it’s only a cliffhanger ending.

Now you could do a reveal toward the beginning of a story, but it isn’t recommended because you haven’t had time to develop your characters OR your villain at all and is hard to do well (unless it’s the beginning of the next point in a series, for example). We call this in media res, or in the middle of things - though this is reserved more for starting off stories in an interesting way. I still don’t recommend starting off your story with a villain reveal, however - barring it being the beginning to a sequel, of course.

#Villains #character development #advice #asks #astraygenius #writing resource #writing reference

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