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mail-time1369 · 18 days

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Food for thought

To these well fed birds

That unapologetically

Nest on my brain

Every thought

A bloodied twig

Carelessly

Pecking away

Until it bled

In a way

That could have killed me.

Maileta // probably should have too..

#deep thoughts #poem #spilled thoughts #love #literature

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mail-time1369 · 10 months

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I’ve never been much of a chaser;

I’m just losing interest at this point..

Maileta /// feelings abated

#literature #spilled thoughts #relatable quotes #lit #in my own words #my own thoughts #poem #deep thoughts #psychological #love

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mail-time1369 · 10 months

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Feed me a little, but not too much.

Just enough to keep me salivating.

Not exactly satiating, but lately

I’ve been so starved

That it would seem that I am crazy

For your presence, but my guard

Continues to say otherwise

Though that means nothing

As you’ve enticed the brain

And made yourself at home

Inside of my head.

Maileta /// gone fishing, I suppose

#literature #poem #deep thoughts #spilled thoughts #in my own words #my own thoughts #psychological #relatable quotes #lit #love

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mail-time1369 · 11 months

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We’re desperate lovers,

Desperate for the watering

Of love.

Yet in still,

If I were to leave this earth

It would pain me far more

Than the hearts of my loved ones

As I am essentially splitting myself;

Severing my heart from the one

That loves me beyond anything.

The one that gave up for me

Everything

And saves me

Everyday

Even from the likes of

Myself.

Maileta /// your love, always

#poem #deep thoughts #spilled thoughts #relatable quotes #literature #my own thoughts #psychological #in my own words #lit #love

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mail-time1369 · 11 months

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I think that..

We don’t know

The difference between

Being in love

And having a special love

For someone.

Even if you can

Discern between the two,

You genuinely don’t know what you’d do.

So, you stay.

You call it “love”.

“I remain because I love and will fight for love”

As you say, though

It isn’t love at all.

Because neither nor both of you

Are happy nor free.

Simultaneously.

You both are

Simply wasting one another’s time

Playing pretend

Only to prolong the pain

Of having lost a great friend.

And a precious companion.

Maileta /// time to go

#literature #spilled thoughts #relatable quotes #deep thoughts #in my own words #my own thoughts #psychological #poem #love #lit

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mail-time1369 · 11 months

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“I just want to love and be loved, man.. I’m not out here trying to lead anyone on or waste anyone’s time. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or be hurt. At this point in my life, my heart is already so f*cking fragile; I can’t take anymore and that’s the honest truth..”

Maileta /// you are here 🎶

#love #poem #deep thoughts #literature #spilled thoughts #relatable quotes #lit #in my own words #my own thoughts #psychological

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mail-time1369 · 11 months

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“My heart’s bleeding, but… I don’t know if there’s anything that you can do about it..”

Maileta /// broken arrows pierced my chest

#deep thoughts #spilled thoughts #social media #running #weight loss #apple watch #literature #wearables #poem #love

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mail-time1369 · 1 year

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I can’t expect anyone to endure this with me.

Maybe I don’t want anyone to.

There are days that I’m fine.

I’ll go about my usual challenges and battles.

And some days..

They hit pretty hard.

I don’t dwell on the past,

But sometimes..

The memories hit me all at once

The feelings that I’ve already processed

The conversations and emotions of others

And how it all felt in that moment

Just crash into me like waves

And I feel those feelings all over again.

They hurt, yeah.

I get sad, yes.

I even cry.

So forgive me

If I can’t find the words to explain

Or express how painful it is for me

To muffle my painful sobbing

And crying

Between my chest and pillow.

Or to find my breath

As I’m trying to both release and hold back

So I don’t completely

Fall apart.

Maileta /// rebounding pains

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mail-time1369 · 1 year

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“We were just.. very inexperienced.”

I think that’s all that I can say about that..

Maileta /// but is that really all..?

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mail-time1369 · 1 year

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“Don’t keep trying to be.

Just be..”

Maileta /// i am 🦋

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mail-time1369 · 1 year

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I am sorry. I cannot be reached right now. If you could leave…a message…

I feel as though I am my own overprotective mother.. holding myself back out of fear of being hurt by the world again.. or being rejected.. or being too much or not enough….

Yes.. not enough.

She is so afraid of what I could become until she won’t allow me to become anything at all.

I am not who she thinks I am..

I am not my uncertainty.

I am not my doubts.

I am not my past mistakes.

I am not these words that she etched onto my body,

These binds that overwhelm my existence and claim my identity.

I am not natural..

Yet, she doesn’t want me to be known.

She doesn’t have to keep me shaded from sunlight,

Watering me carefully so it doesn’t grow too obvious

That at this rate, I’ll only shrivel and die slow

This isn’t loving anymore for I am not living anymore..

Maileta /// freeing myself from myself..

#poets on poetry #writeblr #poetical corner #love quotes #sad poetry #mental health #relatable quotes #love yourself #selfworth #self love #original poetry #spoken poetry #spirtuality #reblog #long reads #literature #like #love quote tumblr #life quotes

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mail-time1369 · 1 year

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I am sorry. I cannot be reached right now. If you could leave…a message…

I feel as though I am my own overprotective mother.. holding myself back out of fear of being hurt by the world again.. or being rejected.. or being too much or not enough….

Yes.. not enough.

She is so afraid of what I could become until she won’t allow me to become anything at all.

I am not who she thinks I am..

I am not my uncertainty.

I am not my doubts.

I am not my past mistakes.

I am not these words that she etched onto my body,

These binds that overwhelm my existence and claim my identity.

I am not natural..

Yet, she doesn’t want me to be known.

She doesn’t have to keep me shaded from sunlight,

Watering me carefully so it doesn’t grow too obvious

That at this rate, I’ll only shrivel and die slow

This isn’t loving anymore for I am not living anymore..

Maileta /// freeing myself from myself..

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mail-time1369 · 2 years

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I don’t live up to what I yearn to embody. That doesn’t mean that I can’t make mistakes or be human. Because at times, even the best of us will fall.

Being a believer or one that taps into spiritualism daily doesn’t make one more or less what they are by falling short or making mistakes. Though mine have been constant, I’ve learned that even when I fail, I have to grasp tightly to the identity that I live by daily.

Even through the darkest or well-hidden forms of bondage, that is something that will forever remain my constant reminder.

It’s not an excuse or pardon for my mistakes, but knowing what my spiritual identity is serves as my guide point for finding myself again. It reminds me that I don’t have to condemn myself and that there is one greater who has already forgiven me.

And further, it refreshes my mind and heart to know that I will never be left alone to fall to the depths even when I lose myself, but rather I am lifted up into a warm and loving embrace.

Maileta /// what i believe..

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mail-time1369 · 2 years

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It’s just… painful. That’s the only way I can describe it as close to how it feels. It tries to isolate you and enable a sense of distrust among the people you consider to be closest to you. And if successful, you’ll likely feel like your presence and existence is merely tolerated by those around you. It’s obviously not logical because you’re aware of your identity with them. But even so, your emotions try to convince you. At least from the outside. But really, they’re warning signs that you have to take heed to. You fucked up; clearly, you allowed an enemy to infiltrate your mental camp. If you know what you believe as well as your identity— that of which to yourself and onto those that matter to you— stick to it. Everything is merely your own reaction to allowing that negativity into your head space in the first place.

Maileta /// mental boot camp

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mail-time1369 · 2 years

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I guess I’ll only have memories.. That time doesn’t seem to belong to me anymore..

Maileta /// shared time

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mail-time1369 · 2 years

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These days, I feel as though I don’t know anything at all..

Maileta /// avoided truths

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mail-time1369 · 2 years

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Is it selfish of me that I only yearn to release myself with you?

I just want to feel as though I’m not holding my breath.

I just want to breathe again..

Maileta /// asphyxiation

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