#5 am things

[16-jarrah]

ive never understood the true fun in fictional character apologism until ben linus

#i'm not even a ben linus apologist but it's like. yeah he did those things and some of them i want to maim him for myself #but also his allure is too captivating for me . #i want to gnaw on him like a chewtoy.......... #why did they make a character like him. i want to put him in a snowglobe and rattle it around at maximum velocity #and best of all. why did he make him so gay #everybody looks at ben n the three men he was in kahoots with off island and theyre like. #this bitch has chemistry. something was going on there. and we are all right #especially ben and locke like jesus christ #<- wait i am making a separate postnfor this #op #lostposting #5 am things

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[smokestarrules]

these are four different characters idk what to tell you 

#technically 5 bc hooty but. yk #filed under Things I Am Emotional About #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #the owl house spoilers #amity blight #lilith clawthorne #smokey speaks #500 #1k #10k

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers #(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.) #(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands) #revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN #anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days #mork and grimdy. i-is that anything. #the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes #when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years #(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia) #(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway) #hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series #in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas? #but how does boo boo kitty factor into this

[three-fold-symmetry]

Day 3 of @subcodyweek - Prompt: Praise kink

They didn't train him for this on Kamino.

#tcw #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #codywan #esk art #I swear the rest of the stuff I drew is actually more in line with the purpose of this event #I'm not trying to be difficult #i think this is the last thing for this i can actually post on tumblr #the stuff i drew for day 5 and 7 may get me smote by content guidelines. maybe? not risking it #i am trying my hand at writing smut tho to make up for the fact that i can't bring myself to draw anything that is more than suggestive

[elya-doodles]

Flash Warning!

The demogorgon… it got meh.

#flash warning #fanart #artists on tumblr #art #stranger things #stranger things fanart #stranger things fandom #will byers #will byers fanart #mike wheeler #mike wheeler fanart #byler #byler fanart #st season 5 #st season 1 #flickergate #?? #maybe idk #I haven’t actually read into it #I should probably be doing school work #yet here I am #there outfits are so similar #I might actually die #miwi

[arunneronthird]

i have v few regrets about making tim an insufferable music nerd

#u like joy division? name 5 of their albums #at this point yes i am self projecting yes i do own tims shirt and the unknown desires vinyl yes i do suck #dick grayson #tim drake #nightwing #red robin #robin #batman #my art #(the joy division thing is a joke cause they only have two albums) #dc comics #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well.

[expelliarmus]

I don't believe in destiny, but if destiny exists, then it is heading for Donna Noble.

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #dw spoilers #i..... am not sure where i wanted to go with this gifset #it started off with the doctor and donna and destiny and aliens #and then i decided to throw in donna missing all the alien things #and now it doesn't really make sense??? #or does it? idek #there's just a lot going on here bc i'm too excited #but it IS about donna so i'm gonna post it anyways :') #wooo 5 gifsets this weekend!! #haven't done that in a while :D

[simcardiac-arrested]

day 30 - videogame (undertale, fnaf, etc)

somebody get this man some chapstick

#(voice of a guy who’s desperately trying to not give in and watch the movie for the third time in a row) So how’s everyone doing #i haven’t drawn mike in like 5 months this is simply unacceptable. unsustainable #he could fix everything that’s wrong with the world #i have once again changed his design but it’s ok #but yeah as you can see i am very interested with the concept of mike adjusting to living in human society as a weird alive corpse thing #fuuuuckkk AUEJGHHHH i seriously do like movie mike so much i think he and game mike can live in peace and harmony #something so awful is happening to me and it’s past midnight i should NOT be allowed to think aboht my favorite characters #myart #cringetober 2023 #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #can anybody hear me. help. help. MICHAELLLL DONT LEAVE ME HERE UEHGH OUGH MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[toastyyjams]

[p5 x omori au] final duet pt. 1

#idk when ill post the 2nd part... #am a struggling med student gimme time guys🙏 #wish i can animate the whole thing #ill just have to stick to illustrating some scenes #p5r #p5 #persona5 #persona #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #omori au #omori #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #futaba sakura #ryuji sakamoto #goro akechi #shuake #akeshu #and yes . akiren is mari in this au #futaba being omori makes more sense #Spotify

[ewwww-what]

What a cool dude, I hope he isn’t haunted by memories of his dead friend lol

#she just sits there and stares at him #that isn’t actually Lucy’s ghost by the way. I was thinking more like a reoccurring nightmare. #fig has that whole thing of going into his dreams to terrorize him and I feel like there has to be some adverse effects to that. right? #someone has to take the fall for this!!!! YOU have to take the fall for this!!! #the rat grinders have been killing me dead lately #also I am extremely tired so this is unfinished :/ #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #the high 5 heroes #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 fanart #fh #fantasy high fanart #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #d20 spoilers #undescribed #my art

[marasschino]

Metal Gear fan art made by a guy who's only played Metal Gear Rising and Super Smash Bros Brawl 🧍

#metal gear solid #metal gear rising #metal gear raiden #metal gear solid snake #raiden #solid snake #drawing raiden's cyborg body killed me. i am dead now goodbye #things i do to draw blond/white haired characters i think are hot. i'm not unique i know #also dont quiz me about metal gear. i played rising like. 5 years ago

[the-trainwreck-that-i-am]

Tonight’s mood

#or this morning? #5 am things #song of the day #glass animals #Spotify

[extrashortshorts]

POV: you're a giant man in a dessert and some random kid decided to show you a poorly cropped png of his favorite bug

#ms paint #and REALLY BAD mouse #for authenticity #monkey d. luffy #one piece #cringetober #day 5 #i am not doing full thing #but at least 1 #maybe will yoink days from other “-tobers” #oh i will definitely do one or two from the buggytober mhmm

[akantorrr]

A Gabe from the Ultrakill whiteboard :>

cleaned up and added a border to the thingy that took me almost a whole day to draw on the whiteboard >:]

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #but the comments everyone left around this thing made my day ;w; <3 #I love working with 5 or 6 colors so I was in my element >:] #I know some proportions are a lil whacky but there's not much I could do :cry: #I friggin love how this turned out tho #I am SO gonna draw more stuff in this style- this time on csp tho lmfao #the very limited color palette was so fun to work with too #limited color palette #digital art #my art #the eraser is hell to work with #akans art

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN. #I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas. #Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.