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#I just. I don't have a cynical bone in my body. I've had to learn all this
neverendingford · 7 months
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#tag talk#kind of morose rn. I wish kind wasn't functionally the same as trusting.#I wish trusting wasn't the same as gullible#I wish gullible weren't the same as stupid#I know so clearly that lies are easy to tell. and yet I know that in order to live freely I need to choose to believe sometimes#and this is one of those times I knew would happen. the inevitable failure that walks hand in hand with trying#and I will try again. because failure is a chance but not a guaranteed outcome. but it's annoying. it's exhausting.#this is about getting stood up twice in one night. in case you thought something actually important happened. nothing big. but annoying#annoying when you put out your genuine self as the best way to attract authenticity in others and instead it's played with#and I guess I should have looked for more ahead of time. demanded reciprocal honesty instead of simply trusting things would work out#trust but verify.#I just. I don't have a cynical bone in my body. I've had to learn all this#and I rephrase stories to make myself sound cleverer than I really am because I can think of a million witty retorts an hour later#but in the moment I'm just naive and trusting and over messaging it's so easy to take advantage of that#and I can't even report them for the undoubtedly stolen pics they baited me with because they block as soon as the game is up#oh well. live and learn and take away the experience and use it for something#I did meet a dude who actually plays age of empires so that's fucking sick.#got stood up twice. but met two actually cool people so it works out maybe. we'll see what happens.#I just- bruh how hard is it to get some good dick in this town?#anyway. I had a nice walk around the park while I waited. found a gravel hill with a hollow on the top and waited there to escape the wind#it was actually a really nice time at the park aside from the social circumstances
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BORUTO ALTER: Last Shinobi by SongofVedas
Anime » Naruto Rated: T, English, Adventure & Fantasy, Naruto U., Sasuke U., Boruto U., Sarada U., Words: 112k+, Favs: 48, Follows: 49, Published: Dec 2, 2020 Updated: Jul 19
21Chapter 8: A NEW THREAT? THE RISE OF KARA!
BORUTO ALTER
Crickets chirped outside.
Boruto sat in a well lit hospice room. The light contrasted with the growing darkness that spread over trees opposite of wide paneled windows.
He closed his eyes, curling fingers into the flesh of his palm.
All Boruto could hear was the machine-like breathing of Himawari's respirator. In the mire of his thoughts, he saw her lying there, body covered in bandages that were splotched with blood.
Twice today he had to leave as medical-nin re-addressed her wounds.
Tomorrow. We'll operate tomorrow. She's too unstable right now.
Sakura Uchiha's voice bounced between Boruto's ears.
Most of them were wounded- the only ones who survived unscathed were Mitsuki and Hijikata. Boruto had two broken ribs. Sarada's arm was fractured in several places, and Iwabe's shoulder had been punctured through, the bones shattered.
Tears threatened Boruto's eyes.
Himawari's condition was far worse. Her spine had been nearly severed. Her lungs were damaged, and routinely filled with blood. Almost every bone in her chest and stomach had snapped, causing bones to cut into nearby organs.
If she were to ever walk again intensive healing jutsu was required. Healing jutsu that, in her state, could actually end up killing faster than the current wounds would.
Boruto tensed at the sound of the door opening softly.
His eyes softened at the sight of Hinata cautiously stepping near her daughter.
Boruto watched as his mother ran a hand down Himawari's bandaged cheek. Boruto could tell she had been crying.
They all had.
"Where's dad?" Boruto asked silently.
Hinata paused.
She smiled at Boruto, coming around Himawari's bed and sitting in an empty seat beside him.
"He's meeting with Shikimaru and the others. What happened.." Hinata began.
Boruto knew she was preemptively attempting to defend Naruto. He smiled cynically.
"It's okay mom, I know."
Boruto shivered, remembering the feel and slickness of the air when Himawari was maimed.
"In this case, I'll give him a pass. He.. I've never seen him so upset." Boruto bit his lip.
"I.. feel so stupid." Boruto lowered his head, blonde hair masking his face.
"I'm weak. I couldn't do anything. I was mad at him before we left.." Boruto gasped as a shuddering, quiet cry left him.
"I couldn't even protect my sister. Our family."
"Boruto, listen to me." Hinata gently lifted Boruto's head. Tears were streaming down his face as his mother smiled warmly.
Hinata laughed quietly.
"You're just like Neji. You put so much onto yourself, over analyze things and push people away. You're kind, Boruto. You're a loving person. Don't ever think you didn't do enough. No matter what happens."
Hinata broke her white pupiled gaze, turning her attentions over to Himawari.
"When you two were born.. there were complications with the delivery." Hinata began.
Boruto opened his mouth to speak-
Boruto had never been told anything of his birth. It wasn't ever something that he put thought into.
What reason would I have to ever assume anything different?
Boruto's thoughts raced as his mother continued.
"When a baby is born, chakra is released by not only the mother, but the newborns as well.. Typically, this isn't an issue...Himawari's chakra was.. different."
The room seemed to grow darker.
"We told you a few years ago that your father is inhabited by Kurama, the Nine Tails."
Boruto remembered. It was then he and Himawari learned about the destruction Konoha suffered under the very being within its current Hokage.
Himawari treated Naruto no differently. She had inherited his rambunctious spirit, his joviality and desire for attachments. Boruto however..
He was young though smart for his age. He understood the repercussions behind the deaths Kurama caused. He knew that the Nine Tails was something to be feared.
And it's inside dad.
Hinata's voice brought him back to the present.
"Somehow, something from Kurama spread to Himawari. It resulted in a volatile mixture of all of our chakras.. it almost killed us."
Boruto shivered, looking at his sister.
"It was Sakura who saved us, Boruto. She was able to seal off the foreign chakra within Himawari.. and in that process, we stabilized."
Hinata's eyes watered. As Boruto looked at her, he could tell his mother was back in the delivery chambers.
He had no idea of how horrifying that must have been for her.
Mom..
"Have faith, Boruto. In your sister- and in Sakura as well."
It was then there was a quiet knock on the door.
Boruto and Hinata both looked at each other with a quizzical frown.
The door opened.
Boruto scoffed, smiling.
"I was beginning to think you forgot about us.. Shikadai."
Shikadai strode into the room slowly, a small smile on his face. His blonde hair was dressed into a wavy ponytail, drawing back his locks. He had sharp green eyes that seemed to appraise everything with a silent, humored criticism.
He was also calm to a fault, preferring to let others lead as opposed to being bothered.
It was this contrast of personalities within him that made Shikadai one of Boruto's closest friends.
"I just got back to the village.." Shikadai's easy smile fell as he took in Himawari's injuries.
Shikadai put his hands in his pockets and cast a worried glare to Boruto.
"How are you? Both of you?" Genuine concerns painted the young Nara's words.
"It has been.. difficult. But we are here." Hinata smiled. She reached for Boruto's hand, squeezing it.
"I'm going to check in on your Father. I'm sure you want to talk." She said with a smile.
Boruto bowed his head graciously.
"Thank you, mom. I love you. I'll head in soon." Boruto said.
Hinata shook her head.
"You're twins. Stay here as long as you need to." Hinata smiled again, bowing politely to Shikadai before leaving the room.
Shikadai took Hinata's seat, leaning backward while throwing his hands behind a head of yellow hair.
His earrings dangled as he spoke, a frown dressing sharp brows.
"Himawari.. she's the best of us. The strongest. What did you guys find out there?" Shikadai asked.
Boruto's mind flashed back to the night before.
He saw the young faced man with zigzagging scars. How he begged for his life before being turned into..
Boruto clenched his teeth.
"We fought a missing nin. He was wounded.. Himawari was the one who brought him down. Sarada, Mitsuki and I struggled against him."
Boruto looked down at his hands as Shikadai silently watched on.
"He was screaming to himself, Shikadai. He said a name..Otogane."
Boruto narrowed his eyes.
"Then he turned into something. Something evil. Its chakra.. it was unlike anything I've ever felt. I wouldn't even call it chakra. But what else could it be?" Boruto spoke as he turned his head to Shikadai.
"It was something no one could've predicted. My dad... that's why I'm not angry at him for sending us. He had no idea that this could happen."
Shikadai offered a somber chuckle.
"This village seems to have the worst fate." Shikadai said.
Shikadai then smiled.
"She's gonna be okay, Boruto. You guys made it back. That's what's important."
Boruto nodded. He reclined in his chair as he watched Himawari's body shake as she raggedly breathed.
They sat together in silence, tears again falling from Boruto's eyes.
NARUTO sat.
Inside, he felt broken. He felt like a failure.
I have to be strong now. For Himawari and Boruto.
The Hokage moved forward in his chair. Before him, his advisors stood alongside Konohamaru and Hanabi.
They were all silent.
Konohamaru's report was worse than anyone could've expected. It made sense, however.
Only something otherworldly could do that to his daughter.
"What has me concerned the most.." Kakashi began. He was standing beside Shikamaru, arms folded across a green flak jacket.
"Is this heavy chakra.. and.." Kakashi's tired eyes glanced over to Konohamaru.
"The Rinnegan." Kakashi finished.
Konohamaru nodded slightly in respect before speaking.
"Lord Sixth, it wasn't exactly the Rinnegan. It was.. different."
Hanabi nodded.
"It had the same swirling lines across the sclera. they were multicolored. Ranging from hues of blue to purple. In addition, it seemed to bear tomoe similar to a Sharingan." Hanabi said.
Sai shook his head.
"Perhaps that's how they infiltrated the village? Some jutsu held by the Rinnegan.." he pondered.
Shikamaru shook his head in disagreement.
"If Konohamaru's report is accurate.." Shikamaru gave Konohamaru a sheepish grin.
"Which I think it is, by the way.." Shikamaru continued, adopting a serious tone.
"I don't think anything like Konohamaru experienced could go unnoticed. With that said, there's no doubt the groups are connected in some way."
Konohamaru began to speak.
"Yes, the missing nin had said something about fighting for a greater cause. Then.."
The jonin glanced at Naruto before continuing.
"Boruto and the others said the ninja they fought called out to..Otogane."
Naruto's thoughts again drifted to Boruto and his sister. For a moment, he almost lost his composure.
Instead, he swallowed deeply before leveling his eyes onto Sai.
"Have your Anbu search all of our records for any reference to Otogane. Search the Uchiha tablet files Sasuke translated as well." Naruto ordered.
"Of course, Lord seventh." Sai bowed.
"We have a new enemy now, that much is clear." Naruto stood from his desk. He frowned as his blue eyes seemed to glow from underneath a hooded brow.
"An enemy possibly far more dangerous than even the Akatsuki. A criminal organization in possession of a dojutsu derivative of the Rinnegan.. which means.."
Kakashi nodded somberly.
"We can't rule out the Ōtsutsuki." He said quietly.
Naruto raised his head.
"We knew that Kaguya disobeyed whatever hierarchy the Ōtsutsuki clan adhered to. This could be their retribution."
"Or a descendent that hid itself until it knew Kaguya was defeated. Maybe that's why it has its eyes on Konoha. Maybe that's why it waited until now." Shikamaru said.
Dark omens passed between the Shinobi gathered.
"In any case, the village will be put on lockdown immediately." Naruto stated. He turned his head towards Sai.
"Sai.. Have Ino review the perimeter squad shift register for the past seven months. Then, I want the Anbu to speak with each of them. I don't want them harmed, I want leads onto how this group was able to enter the village. Like I said when this started.. there's no way they could get in without help from the inside."
"That much is more certain than this strange eye." Shikamaru said softly.
"Naruto-"
Naruto's eyes widened at the sound of Hinata's voice. He immediately moved about his desk, walking past Kakashi and the others as he embraced his wife.
"I was just with Boruto and Himawari. Shikadai was there as well." Hinata said, offering a small smile to Shikamaru as she parted from Naruto.
"Lady Hinata," Shikamaru said with a bow as the other advisors took turns greeting her.
"How was Boruto?" Naruto asked.
Hinata's face hardened somewhat.
"You need to make sure you speak with him before the night is over." Hinata said.
Naruto drew his breath in sharply.
Failure.
"I know. I.. wanted to give him time." He said.
Hinata's gaze softened. She raised her hand, caressing Naruto's cheek.
"Just make sure you do." She said with a smile.
Naruto turned to his advisors.
"Consider this meeting dismissed. I'm going to visit with Hima and Boruto. Tomorrow.. a new day of challenges awaits us. But.." Naruto offered an almost childlike grin.
"I'm glad to have you all!" He said happily.
Kakashi scoffed.
"You never change, Naruto." He said, smiling underneath his mask.
Shikamaru threw his arm around Naruto's shoulder.
"We're glad to have ya too!" He laughed.
Sai gave a small grin.
"I'll be sure to inform Ino of the plan."
He turned to Kakashi.
"Lord Sixth," he bowed. Then, he left the room with the others.
Hinata and Naruto watched them leave before turning their eyes to each other.
"Sakura spoke to me before she left." Hinata began.
"What did she say?" Naruto looked at Hinata pleadingly. He needed hope. Something to cling onto. This world.. he didn't know if he was prepared to face anything like Madara's war ever again.
Hinata looked away.
"She might have to undo the seal. Maybe even partially, if it's possible."
Naruto immediately understood.
The seal was no doubt affecting Himawari's own natural healing. Further.. It was possible that as Himawari's chakra shared its space with something similar to Kurama..
Sakura could take advantage of Himawari's healing factor during the operation.
"It may be the only chance we have." Naruto said quietly.
Hinata nodded.
"I agree."
They embraced again, holding each other for as long as they could.
DEEPA was annoyed.
He hated meetings.
He and Victor stood cloaked in a swirling mass of darkness. Eyes, Otogane's dojutsu, swam within black globs of rolling liquid. The chakra was thick in the air. It rolled over his skin in sickening, penetrating waves.
The dark sea spread for kilometers around as they waited for the others. Otogane's genjutsu was able to allow the inners of Kara to mentally link with one another, giving them an undetectable method of long distance communication.
"I can't believe we're the first ones." Victor chuckled.
Deepa remained silent.
He was tired of being paired with the old man.
To their left, the black chakra began to bubble.
It rose like a dripping fountain, forming into the shape of a woman with long hair and thigh high boots.
"Ah, Delta." Deepa gave a smile.
"How unfortunate." He said, smile growing wider.
"If it isn't Deepa and Victor. Lord Jigen's stray lot." Delta retorted with a spit of venom.
"Enjoy your position now, Delta." Victor warned.
"We-" Victor began, stepping closer to Deepa as he prepared to brag of their Outer's victory.
"Your success.. seems to have afforded you a rather confident tone.. Victor.." in the center of the growing group, chakra churned. It swirled and swirled until finally, the thin shape of a woman rose from the black liquid.
She had ebony hair and pale skin.
She was beautiful. Otogane wore an ageless yet young face, angular with a smoothness akin to marble. She had wide, black eyes, almost friendly, if you could ignore the curling dread that wafted about her.
She wore a simple dark brown kimono while a similarly colored haori was wrapped around her shoulders-
fastened at her breast with a child's skull.
"Otogane Gamou..!" Victor stammered, obviously unnerved as Otogane's gaze bore into him.
Deepa couldn't blame the old man. The vile chakra seemed to increase tenfold.
And this is only a genjutsu! Is this.. the strength of Antichakra?!
While they had used Otogane's jutsu previously, this was the first time she had ever revealed herself beyond her voice.
That realization brought Deepa to a new alertness-
And fear.
"Jigen.. had matters to attend to with Code in that realm. He asked me here in his stead. Consider myself.. Jigen's will."
Delta bowed, unnerved by the growing chakra that seemed to howl within all of their ears.
"Of course, Lady Otogane. What would you have us do?" Delta asked.
Tch! We're all inners.. even if Otogane is Jigen's favorite-
Deepa thought this, but knew inside himself there was another factor too.
Otogane Gamou possessed inhuman strength. Something beyond Deepa's comprehension. It was this much he knew, but dared not to verbalize, not even within his own thoughts.
"Delta.. you are to extend your operations into Kirigakure. Jigen.. cares not what you do..Ensure that the land is destabilized. Konoha.. is a nation that puts it on itself to protect its neighbors. This distraction will allow Victor and Deepa to continue with their dealings." Otogane said with a humored tone.
"Deepa.." Deepa's skin crinkled at the sound of Otogane directly addressing him.
"Your Outers have succeeded in procuring the scroll.."
"Yes. They're on their way to the land of Rivers now. We can then ferry it to-"
"No." Otogane said plainly.
Deepa furrowed his brow.
No?
"Amado has said that the project no longer has the time to wait for that transportation. I have sent my Upper, Subutai Ekēi, to retrieve the scroll himself. He will be the one to present it to Lord Jigen."
Deepa's face contorted into a snarl.
The Kumogakure swordsman?!
Rage billowed within him-
However, he was smarter than to lash out at Otogane here.
"Kamimura's teleportation juts-"
"Was sufficient in allowing you to enter Konoha with help. My jutsu.. is far too volatile to be used by anyone other than Subutai.. not to mention it would've been sensed by their Hokage."
Deepa understood.
But now that we have the Land of Rivers under control.. she doesn't need us. Which means she'll be the one to gain even more favor with Jigen!
"The project is of utmost concern to Jigen and Amado. If nurtured properly..it will fulfill our desires, and further our objective. The divine tree." Otogane spoke as her world began to unravel around them.
Enact Jigen's will..
Otogane's voice rang within Deepa's head as he was once again staring at a wooden wall slightly illuminated by a candle beside him. Victor shook, swearing as he wiped at his cloak.
"Damn Otogane!" He shouted.
Deepa folded his arms.
"Hmph. There's nothing we can do now. Besides.. we still may gain the upper hand.." Deepa smiled.
Once they were established in Rivers, they would be able to pursue something else.
The creation of their own divine tree.
Once they had the power of the chakra fruit, not even Jigen or Otogane could stand in their way.
It was simply a matter of time.
Deepa laughed aloud, throwing his arms outward.
"It's the dawning of a new age, Victor!" He laughed.
Soon.. I'll be rid of you as well!
9: BORUTO'S DREAM
BORUTO ALTER: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS
BORUTO saw stars.
No, it would be more correct to say he felt them.
Boruto floated upon nothing. He felt himself moving- moving through something he couldn't quite discern.
What is this?
To the touch, it was like water. But when it passed over him he didn't feel wetness or pressure, he felt memories. He saw the lives of horned beings he didn't understand.
They seemed cruel. Arrogant.
Violent.
Boruto tried shutting eyes already shut as the visions became more brutal. The horned people began eating each other. They cackled and yelped, circling wounded and crying innocents before they were devoured.
Suddenly, the rush of feeling stopped.
Boruto looked down. He saw nothing, not even his own body. Ahead, a white moon lazily hung behind a fog of black mist.
There was.. something underneath the white moon. Boruto saw it, but his eyes seemed unable to register the being in a way that made sense.
It was speaking. At first.. the words were echoed. Jumbled. But they repeated the same uttering chant until finally it became a discernible, beating moan.
Cursed Eye...
Boruto's left eye began to feel as if it was being ripped from its socket. He screamed, throwing himself in his bed. He could feel himself moving, but he couldn't wake up.
The visions became erratic. Boruto saw two beings dressed in white robes. They floated amongst crumbling earth as a creature bearing flowing white hair descended upon them with a roaring shockwave.
Then he saw thousands of humans kneeling before a glowing idol-
Burning bodies.
He then saw the white moon once more, but now it seemed to be embedded within a pupil surrounded by blackness. The eye shifted its gaze as the searing pain dug deeper into Boruto's skull.
At the height of the burning Boruto heard a voice as tears streamed down his cheeks. He thrashed wildly, attempting to wake himself from the torture.
Boruto Uzumaki...?..
yes..
within him..
Venture forth..
bring him...
to..
No name was uttered. But Boruto could see it within his mind. It was that same.. featureless horror that hung underneath the moon. Seen but unseen. It..
A second wave of pain rocked Boruto's body. This time he did wake to the sound of his parents shouting his name.
Boruto sat up in his bed, dazed as sweat dripped down the sides of his face.
He covered his eye with his hand. He shook.. until finally..
Boruto jumped. His bedroom door flew open as Hinata stormed into his room with Naruto in tow. Boruto looked at both of his parents as they stared back at him silently.
"You.. stopped screaming. We were calling you, Boruto!" Hinata said. She rushed to Boruto.
"Are you alright? What's happening?" She asked.
"I'm.." Boruto trailed off.
Hinata looked away from her son and to Naruto.
Naruto sighed. Boruto heard the floor crease as his father walked closer beside him. Naruto knelt downwards, meeting Boruto's halfway averted gaze.
"You were screaming Boruto. It sounded like you were in pain." Naruto said softly.
Boruto shuddered.
I'm scared.
The emotions he felt- the dream.. it was too much.
I'm scared!
Naruto rose, understanding the look on Boruto's face. He delicately pulled Hinata away.
"Boruto..." Naruto said. Boruto met his father's eyes.
"With everything going on.. things are changing. It's getting more dangerous. I.." Naruto stopped. Even from his bed, Boruto could tell Naruto was close to tears.
"I know I don't have to tell you that." Naruto finished. Hinata held Naruto's arm in comfort.
"I don't want you.. anyone of us.. to feel alone. And I know that I have to do better.." Naruto said.
Boruto looked away.
"It was nice talking to you earlier. I.. I can try to be better too. For Hima." Boruto clenched his blanket.
Both of his parents seemed happy then. Boruto wished them good night, then listened to their footsteps as they retreated back to their chambers.
His bed was positioned next to the window. He looked outside. The moon was in the air. Bright, powerful.
As he looked at it his mind drifted back to the vision.
Boruto held himself, crossing his arms.
How did you do that?
Sarada's question reverberated within Boruto's mind. Her expression.. she was shocked. No, beyond that. Beyond even the horror they faced..
Something about me scared her. Something she saw.
Boruto knew he had cast a jutsu.. a jutsu that seemingly was able to be cast upon the beast's body, despite Boruto himself standing several meters away.
But it was beyond that.
Boruto furrowed his brows.
I saw Himawari die. I saw the future.. then I saw the future turn back upon itself..
And it was when the future was being rewound that Boruto's senses urged him to cast a jutsu- the perfect one to save his sister from immediate death.
Boruto turned his attention to the reflection that was staring back at him.
Within the light of his eyes, he felt he could almost see the visions from his dream- the horned beings.. their cannibalism and cruelty.
Was that.. real?
Boruto shook.
He settled back into bed.
I need to get some rest.
Boruto's thoughts drifted to his sister.
We're counting on you.. Sakura Uchiha..
Boruto fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.
SASUKE careened into a deep chasm.
The wind blew above, tousling onyx black hair across his forehead. Sasuke leapt from side to side between the chasm's walls, using chakra to affix to the smooth and glasslike surface.
He narrowed eyes as he descended, tapping lightly onto the chasm's floor with a clink.
Sasuke strode forward.
This was one of the realms belonging to the Ōtsutsuki. Long ago, it had been one of their temple worlds. Now, all that remained were crumbling statues and scriptures written by half-mad sages.
Sasuke discovered that even his Rinnegan couldn't decipher some of the writings left behind, leaving him to believe that amongst these strange beings, there were eyes beyond that of even his own fabled dojutsu.
Despite this, the lone Shinobi was able to discern some basic things.
The Ōtsutsuki themselves were a solitary race.
They had no central city, no village. They simply existed. Often, the only other Ōtsutsuki they'd come across would be their forebear, the one that consolidated a portion of their chakra to create life.. and the one that would, in the end, be devoured by that same very life in order to progress their evolution.
Sasuke left the chasm's serrated mouth. Along the right of it, a small cliff edged to a wider path that traveled across a wide abyss. Further, a secluded temple sat opposite of him. It was unremarkable, save for an inscription of the Rinne-Sharingan that loomed on the mountain faces above it.
As he made way for the temple, his thoughts returned to the Clan.
They seemed to separate themselves into two distinct groups.. not dissimilar to the Hyuga's former branch system. However.. with the Ōtsutsuki.. it seemed to be different.
Deciphering the wording was difficult- no, almost unintelligible. Though Sasuke did recognize some things.
The symbols for consumption, death, and rebirth.
And of course.. the linchpin of Ōtsutsuki's culture..
The divine tree.
Beyond these things, all other knowledge was lost to him. Sasuke frowned as he walked across the stony bridge that led to the temple. He didn't look down at the abyss as he passed, scanning instead the tops of the cliff faces above.
He sharpened both the sharingan and Rinnegan-
Violent chakra exploded from below him. A hail of stones rose and fell as Sasuke's bridge lurched forward into the darkness of the mists below. He reacted instantly, jumping from rock to rock until safely landing on the temple's rocky precipice.
"Hmph," Sasuke narrowed his sharingan eye, bangs parting as he lifted his sword.
As the remnants of the bridge fell apart, smoke shifted-
Sasuke twisted immediately to his right, sword clanging against a strange bladed arm. His attacker wore sable robes. It bore two glowing red gems in the place of eyes. It was machine-like, and nearly two and a half meters.
Despite its size..
It's fast.
Sasuke disengaged from the being's blade. He advanced with a raised sword, Rinnegan flexing as the Uchiha accessed its ancient power.
The air around them snapped as the being was drawn closer to a black orb of gravity summoned in between it and Sasuke. The orb vanished, throwing the automation off balance.
A flashing sword cut down for the machine's neck-
A third arm burst from the cloth of the automation. Fingers fashioned into the shape of a dagger before stabbing at Sasuke's stomach.
An ethereal, glowing bone curved from Sasuke's body. The machine's hand broke against it. It recoiled, attempting to skip backward-
Another ghostly limb rose from Sasuke's back. With a howl, a skeletal arm vipered forward and gathered up the machine between its cruel fingers.
Sasuke crushed the automation with a satisfying crunch.
As the cadaverous fingers unfurled, a mask fell within a rain of metal limbs and torn cloth.
Suddenly, the automation's limbs rose into the air.
They combined into an orb of chakra, before reforming around a rising mask.
The automation's body snapped into motion.
Then, it charged.
A crack split Sasuke's ears.
A second puppet?! Sasuke felt his new attacker, senses alerting him to what vision couldn't.
It's even faster than the first one.
Sasuke smirked.
How dull.
Sasuke dropped his sword.
The Uchiha formed a jutsu sign close to his chest. A black cape billowed at Sasuke's shoulders. The new puppet, a feminine-shaped machination similarly armed as the last, spun itself into a tearing spin for Sasuke's back.
A shadow passed over them. Chakra hissed in the air as smoke flew from the ground.
Sasuke's Rinnegan glowed ominously from behind a hazy shield of upturned rock and dirt.
A giant hawk with a snakelike neck curled around Sasuke. It bore two Rinnegan that sat underneath a pair of twisting horns, while a sharp black beak clicked excitedly.
Despite having access to all six paths, one bearing the Rinnegan still had to train how to actually utilize them.
Sasuke had mastered the Deva and Animal paths..
But I'm still nowhere near Nagato's level.
The hawk flapped massive wings against the ground. Gusts of wind yelped from it as it rose. Within its talons it held both of Sasuke's attackers. The automations writhed almost as if in pain as the hawk's sharp claws dug into their chests.
Sasuke called his sword back to a gloved palm.
Some time ago, he had added fuinjutsu seals to his blade. Among other things, it allowed him to cast jutsu by channeling chakra through its edge.
Simply put..
It was the perfect weapon for a man with one arm.
He-
Sasuke rushed forward.
Wait...!
Sasuke's summon shrieked aloud in pain. It crashed to the stone ground, flaying its whiplike neck about as the automations scurried amongst its feathers.
The machines dug their claws into the hawk's flesh as the beast howled in agony.
Sasuke could feel the summon's chakra being absorbed by the puppets. The strength he lent was now coursing through whatever willed the mask bearers movement.
Sasuke's summon let out a dying gasp as the last of its chakra was leeched. Both automations boldly strode forward, each one brimming with newfound strength.
The automations vanished.
They were fast-
Sasuke's sharingan moved underneath the shadow of his brow. It glowed as Sasuke sprinted forward, ducking underneath a slashing arc from the larger automation.
The faster one immediately flipped before Sasuke as he slid on the ground. It rose three bladed arms that suddenly elongated into sharpened spears-
Then shot for Sasuke's torso at close range.
Sasuke frowned.
Shinra Tensei!
An orb of chakra and air bellowed from within Sasuke, curling into a cutting vortex as it expanded from the Uchiha. The impact sent the spears flying back into the smaller puppet, lifting it into the air as its wounds cracked it open.
Its companion immediately rushed for Sasuke as he launched himself back on his feet.
Sasuke shifted to the right, a hooked arm passing his bangs by mere centimeters.
His sword cut into and through the puppet's chest. Sasuke held onto the sword's hilt, jumping slightly into a rounding kick.
Aided by the generated momentum, he sliced through the puppet's waist, curling back around in the same motion. He threw his sword at the feminine puppet's mask as it rose to reform.
It punctured the mask-
However, the automation's reformation process didn't stop.
Sasuke smiled.
He formed a jutsu sign-
I'll only have a moment. But.. I know where you are now!
By utilizing the summon's absorbed chakra, Sasuke was able to create a trail discernible to both his dojutsu as to where the automation's controller was.
It was a simple trick.. one that wouldn't work on someone aware of the possibility. But in the heat of battle..
Sasuke summoned another creature as he instantly swung his body in the opposite direction, calling his blade back to a waiting palm while dashing across the ground.
A two headed slink with slimy purple skin focused its rinnegan eyes hungrily at the automation's now-reformed bodies.
The slink threw both heads to the stone, wide mouths slurping up the puppets. However, at the very moment that the automations began to absorb the summon's chakra-
Sasuke dispelled the jutsu.
The air snapped as smoke billowed from the now empty space taken up by the massive lizard.
Sasuke landed, running forward then pointing his sword at a wall of stone before him. Lighting shot out into a shrieking spear.
Rock crumbled away violently as Sasuke dragged his brilliant weapon across the stone face. Several layers of rock sloughed away, causing plumes of smoke to rise from their fall..
However...
Sasuke furrowed his brows.
They're gone.
Another gust of wind blew through the valley.
Sasuke's long hair crossed his face as he sheathed a smoking sword with a flourish.
His eyes rose.
He regarded the Rinne-Sharigan inscribed before him. Then, he gazed upon the temple.
While the being that attacked him was able to escape.. there was no doubt in Sasuke's mind.
The chakra that Kaguya possessed.. it was unique. Strange.
Alien.
It was a feeling that Sasuke would never forget.
And.. despite their brief linking..
Sasuke felt the very same chakra from whatever fled him.
It's time.. I return to Konoha..
10: SAVE HER, SAKURA! TSUNADE'S INHERITANCE
BORUTO
ALTER
HIMAWARI'S SCREAMS filled the operating chambers. The young girl was surrounded by Sakura and other medical nin- each of them sitting cross legged as their chakras worked upon Himawari.
The girl's bellows shook candles that surrounded carvings etched underneath them all.
Sakura grimaced, sweat steadily dripping down her forehead. Chakra whipped outwards from Himawari, slashing against the floor with baneful howls.
Sakura pressed shaking hands together. Fingernails drew blood from her skin, cascading down to her wrists before pooling in a puddle at crossed legs.
This Chakra! It's..
Sakura, for a moment, saw not Himawari, but Naruto. She saw his frayed blonde hair standing up within a shield of discernible chakra.
Red eyes staring ahead, enraged as they lost recognition of friend and foe alike. Three tails snaked from behind him as a quivering body reduced itself down to feet and palms.
He crouched like an animal.
violent, evil chakra exploded from him.
When Naruto lost control.. he became something else.
Something inhuman.
But now..
Whatever is inside Himawari.. possess chakra worse than the Kyuubi's!
Their goal was to remove the bones from Himawari's organs- but not only that. They needed to repair her spine to a level where it could heal, and remove remnants of poisoned chakra that, in time, would corrupt Himawari's body. However..
A stretch of skin on Sakura's forehead ripped away. Blood instantly fell into green eyes as she lifted her head forward.
Due to my seal's interactions with Himawari's chakra network.. it has to be lessened! It's the only way for her to survive the healing process!
Another blast of chakra erupted from Himawari. One of the medical nin fell over, screaming as blood streamed from his eyes.
Other medical nin moved to help him-
"Focus! Don't you dare move!" Sakura yelled. She weaved hand signs, perfecting the flow of her chakra to maximize technique.
The chakra within Himawari had grown stronger. Sakura had expected that. But for the chakra to be of this density..
By my calculations.. we're only lessening the seal by three percent!
Another medical nin was thrown backward. Sakura saw him crash into the opposite wall in her peripheral vision. Multiple screams filled the air- all of them pained.
Sakura closed her eyes.
Hyakugo!
Sakura felt limitless energy well up from within her as wounds began to heal underneath a rain of hissing smoke.
A curling, snakelike tattoo spread across her forehead and down past her eyes.
The Hyakugo Seal.
A secret technique bestowed upon her by Tsunade..
Sakura continued forming hand signs.
This is the only way.
She stood as Himawari's chakra nearly rose to attack her, focusing its energy on the closest target.
"Lady Uchi-" One of her assistants yelled.
"Do not move!" Sakura shouted. Some of the medical nin were weeping.
Sakura stood above Himawari now. She unclasped her hands.
I'll have to realign the old seal, simultaneously creating gaps within it. Then, I'll have to form a lesser seal, a continuous feed of energy safe for Himawari to rely on without causing her death..
Sakura grimaced.
She thrust her hand into Himawari's chest. Blood gushed from the wound instantly. The girl roared. Chakra from her slashed at Sakura's back, ripping her clothing.
Sakura ignored the pain.
I'll have to match the very same chakra levels I had back during Himawari's birth.. while creating a more complex seal!
The legendary nin closed her eyes.
She saw herself standing within blackness. A wavering stream of white lines formed a visage of herself. It stared back at Sakura almost violently.
Sakura smiled at her inner self.
Ninja Art Creation Rebirth- Innate Balance Technique!
Sakura's chakra flowed about Himawari in a protective shell. It entered the wound created by the Kuinochi, instantly healing her as Sakura pulled her hand free, falling backward.
This technique was an advanced Creation Rebirth jutsu.. and the first of its kind.
It shared principles with Fuinjutsu, but further it was an evolving seal. It was able to instantly react to incoming chakra from within Himawari.. intercept it, then re-distribute it back to her body. It would allow her to utilize the foreign chakra to her benefit.. without immediately overtaking her body.
Sakura fell onto her back. She breathed haggardly as her heart thumped.
The technique was a costly one, however. By using Mitotic regeneration at the same time, Sakura guessed she had shaved away about three years of her lifespan.
"Well.. what did you expect me to do.." Sakura whispered.
Naruto..
Suddenly, her eyes widened as she heard medical nin stepping around Himawari.
She rose to a seated position.
"Don't move her! She'll die!" Sakura ordered.
"If you want to help someone, help me up." She said with a tired grin.
Two of her assistants came to lift her, aiding Sakura at her shoulders.
"Will she be alright?" One of them asked.
Sakura followed his gaze, seeing too the steady stream of blood that still came from underneath Himawari.
"She's healing right now. That's the trick of the seal. It varies its own strength, constantly adapting to feedback from Himawari." Sakura said softly. She felt dizzy.
Sakura nodded.
"Bring me out to them."
Naruto sat beside Hinata. Across from them, Boruto was seated. His arms were crossed, head lowered. Long black hair shielded his eyes. But Naruto knew Boruto was attempting to sense something- anything from what was going on in the chambers beyond.
I'll seal the room. You're not going to want to hear this, Sakura warned nearly six hours before. They also couldn't feel the chakra.. slight ebbs of it seemed to grace them with unease.. but they had no idea of the progress.
Naruto grimaced.
Hima..
Did he do the wrong thing?
He saw Himawari when she was just a toddler. She was smiling at him, running excitedly to him. Her blonde hair shined in the sunlight as he scooped her up, twirling her around as she giggled.
He remembered the simple conversations they would have as he carried her about his shoulders. Her instant rambunctiousness, her need for attention. Her desire to be liked and loved.
For all of that to be gone.. forever.. due to a decision Naruto made-
Please, Sakura!
Naruto prayed as tears threatened his eyes. He choked. Hinata held his arm tightly, pressing her head against his.
Suddenly, the chamber doors opened. Boruto immediately reacted. He jumped to his feet, standing but not moving to the door as smoke steadily whispered towards them.
Two medical nin shuffled Sakura forward. All three of them were splotched with blood.
"She's going to live." Sakura said instantly as the chamber doors closed.
"Sakura-" Naruto rose to his full height as Hinata cried silent, relieved tears.
Naruto lowered himself to his hands and knees, bowing to Sakura as he sobbed.
I thought I was prepared. Naruto thought within himself.
This system.. this world of Shinobi..
"Naruto.. you especially.. listen to me." Sakura began.
Naruto rose his head to meet her towering gaze.
"She will survive.. but.." Sakura paused.
She swallowed. She looked over to Boruto, who had remained silent but watchful the entire time. Then, Sakura glanced over to Hinata, who met her eyes.
Hinata nodded.
Sakura continued.
"The chakra within her.. whatever passed between your daughter and the nine tails.. it's different from the Kyuubi. It's denser. Far more volatile. Further.." Sakura dismissed her assistants as she shakily balanced herself.
"It's possible it may passively affect her emotions. Her thoughts. You will need to be watchful and patient with her. She's not instantly going to be the same. She will be frustrated by that."
Sakura's face softened.
"But she is alive. And she's going to survive. She has all of you." Sakura smiled warmly.
"You've done the impossible for us, Sakura." Hinata's white eyes began tearing once more.
"She will need more operations. But for now, she's far more stable. The successive operations won't be nearly as intensive. Most will be able to be performed with little chakra." Sakura nodded towards Naruto.
"The seal I placed on her will basically function as an improved version of your own healing factor. It will be determined by Himawari's current state, not an influx of chakra controlled by something else. That way, it won't affect her lifespan harshly."
"To do such a thing..Sakura.." Hinata began.
Naruto understood as well.
Like all powerful jutsu, this no doubt carried great personal cost to Sakura.
"Anything that you or your family needs.. we are indebted to you." Naruto said.
To Sakura's surprise, Boruto addressed her next.
"Thank you, Mrs. Uchiha," Boruto whispered. Tears sped down his cheeks as he clenched his hands into tight fists.
Sakura smiled.
"We're like family. And I'll be here for her every step of the way too."
YOSHIKA ITO.
Rank: Outer.
Yoshika breathed haggardly.
Of course I ended up carrying Kamimura the entire way..
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revchainsaw · 3 years
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Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Prayers and Salutations Cult Members! I am your mysterious minister Reverend Chainsaw and this is another nights revival service at the Cult Film Tent Revival. I bring you a special word tonight. Tonight's word is about a person who roamed the earth, in a time where people were backward and warlike. A leader emerged into a kingdom full of eschatological expectation. This leader came preaching peace, and was killed for the sins of the world, but was resurrected. In that resurrection a new hope was brought to the planet, and true healing through the power of love in the face of violence is made possible. I am talking of course about Princess Nausicaa from the Valley of the Wind.
The Message
Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is the film that put studio Ghibli and Hayoa Miyazaki on the map. No animated feature this grandiose and epic had been achieved by 1984, as much as Disney may beg to differ. The tale may be simple, and it may feel super 80s to us today, but Nausicaa is a masterpiece, and the fact that Howl's Moving Castle is brought up alongside Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away more often than Nausicaa is a farce and a tragedy.
The film takes place on a fantastic planet that seems to have suffered the ravages of an apocalyptic war. A war that involved gigantic warriors with powers so devastating they about made the entire planet inhospitable if not uninhabitable; save for a few areas. The fall out of this ancient war has left the earth in a state of repair, where the natural processes of a planet healing has creating giant toxic jungles.
Beyond these jungles lie two imperialistic factions, they seem almost to be city-states but it's not terribly clear. The Kingdom of Tolmekia, a militaristic proto-fascist society of almost Spartan sensibilities. Tolmekia is governed by the ambitious and cynical Princess Kushana, But I like to call her Furiosa. Just like Furiosa, Kushana is physically missing parts of herself, a visual metaphor for her metaphysical lacking and the parts of her humanity she has cut away. Kushana's world view is one of fear, a fear that can only be quelled by waging a genocidal campaign against her enemies.
Speaking of enemies, the Athens to Tolmekias Sparta would be the Pejite Kingdom. The Pejites might like to view themselves as simply responding to Tolmekian aggression, but the narrative of the film, and the story told quite visibly on the body of Kushana, is quite different. The Pejites are just as bloodthirsty if not more palettable in their approach, but like the Tolmekians, they believe only their own lives have any value. And thus, in this theatre of war, a Giant Warrior from the ages before is unearthed by the Pejite Kingdom, Stolen by the Tolmekians, before the forces of nature themselves, seem to conspire to drop the Giant Warriors "egg" right into the Valley of the Wind.
The Valley of the Wind is populated like the world of Avatar the Last Airbender, that is mostly of children and the elderly. The people of the Valley have been able to remain untouched by the ravages of war and the toxic jungles of the damaged world primarily due to geographic luck that's explained in minor exposition in the film. They are ruled by a King, and they are all deeply enamored by their beloved Princess Nausicaa.
Nausicaa is a gentle soul. She is kind to animals, she is empathetic, unreasonably patient, and bears pain and grief inflicted on her out of cruelty with a saintly understanding. She really is a thinly veiled Christ figure, scratch that. There is no veil. But she's also my favorite Christ figure. She does not preach a message, as much as she tries to save everyone from their own short sighted goals. She is not perfect, she does lash out and do some fantasy sword fight murder, but she regrets her actions so deeply that it seems to have played a part in motivating her to become even more compassionate and patient with the evils of the world.
Nausicaa discovers yet another plot by the Pejites, who are afraid of the possibility of the Tolmekians awakening the Giant Warrior, to use animal cruelty to enrage a group of almost invincible giant insects known as the Ohm. By luring the Ohm into the Valley of the Wind where the Tolmekians have become an occupying force, they hope to completely wipe out everything that threatens them. The Tolmekians DO awaken the Giant Warrior and pure pandemonium ensues. Nausicaa manages to save the Baby Ohm and calm the rage of the bloodthirsty Ohm swarm, and to defeat the warlike tendencies of both the Pejites and the Tolmekians. All the while fulfilling a prophecy fortold about a messianic savior figure called the Man in Blue.
Now that you have heard the Gospel of Nausicaa, please stand to receive The Benediction.
Best Character: Half a Person
Now that I've spent the better part of this review gushing about our Lord and savior Nausicaa. I have to admit, she's at times a bit too perfect, a bit too saccharin. Even her flaw, or her one weakness and her failing to be perfect, just adds to the perfection. I can't even say she never makes mistakes cuz she made one, and that's infuriating. It's even more infuriating that I still think she's a great character. Normally this kind of thing really kills a hero. Most Chosen Ones are the most boring and least likeable characters in their narratives. I don't know how Nausicaa avoids this trap, but she does. I'll have to do some meditating on that.
However, just like in your typical Chosen One fantasy narrative, the hero is a lot less fun than the villain. I'm going to say the best character in Nausicaa is Kushana. I want to be like Nausicaa, but I don't understand her. She's almost alien, even though we learn all about her. Kushana is mysterious, secretive, and enigmatic, yet I understand her. She barely has an arc, she doesn't really change. She's cold and cynical to the bone, but I don't need to see much of her situation to completely understand why she is the way she is. I usually hate totalitarian bad guys, but Kushana I like. Sue Me.
Also fun fact, did you that Nausicaa means 'Sinker of Ships'. That's kinda fun.
Best Scene: Spoiled for Choice
I'm going to be lazy and say take your pick. There is really not a bad seen in this movie. If the action isn't going, then there's intriguing dialogue. If there's no dialogue then you may be about to get hit with a forceful burst of whimsy. There's horror, there's swordfights and aerial dogfights. The only thing in Nausicaa I don't like to see, is the bloody tortured Ohm Baby. It's like a god damned Sarah Mclachlan commercial.
Best Creature: Foxy Shazam!
The Ohm are so simplistic yet so detailed. The number of eyes is alien, but the way they are used is expertly expressive. Who'd think you could get me to love what basically amounts to a silverfish with the intensity that I love a kitten. How did Miyazaki pull an Okja with a creature that should be haunting our dreams? I don't know.
And what about the Giant Warrior! If you are an Evangelion fan then you probably already know that Hideaki Anno designed and animated the melting goopy biomechanical beast. Surely a sight that would make both H.R. Giger and Clive Barker giddy with excitement. Just the image of the silhouettes marching amidst the desolation of the old world is burned into my brain.
So which of these is the best creature from Ghibli's first outing? It's fucking Teto. It was always gonna be Teto you idiot. Just look at Teto, he's adorable. He's too cute to exist. I'm so alone. I need a pet.
Best Character Design: Tolmekian Regalia
I originally included this category to talk some about Kushana, however, at that time I also thought I was going to say Nausicaa was the best character. I thought hard about deleting it, but I think it's a different category and you can't accuse me of playing favorites because my favorite character is clearly Teto. Just to keep it simple. It's the two costume shift from full military regalia in white and gold, to the one metal arm, warrior princess get up. It's a great costume and a great look. Get on this shit cosplay nerds. It's great for Cons in Canada, you have to think about layers, and you can't keep going as Mr. Plow. It's lazy.
Best Excuse to Talk About Patrick Stewart's Character: Lord Yupa
I just realized that I was about to write this whole review without talking about Lord Yupa. Lord Yupa is a sword saint and all around badass I think a lot of entertainment, especially in the west is lacking bad ass old men. Lord Yupa particularly shines in the early half of the film as a warrior and as a wise council to Nausicaa. If she's Jesus then Yupa is John the Baptist. He is also voiced by the elegant and eloquent Patrick Stewart. He also comes with 2 chocobos!
Worst Character: For Whom Asbel Tolls
This might also be the worst actor category as well. Actual Cannibal (haha meme) and actual monster (haha real life) Shia Labeouf doesn't so much act in the role as he read the lines and it was recorded. The good news it doesn't effect the film too much because Asbel is completely forgettable. He is a catalyst to some of the action, but besides that I don't really care for him.
Worst Aspect: To Be Fair ...
It would be unfair to completely ignore anything negative about Nausicaa. I have already mentioned in many places that there are some pretty corny, or pretty predictable tropes to this movie. But what I can't capture in words is exactly why it feels fresh when it's done in this movie. I suppose that's what makes it good. It's just so good that it's weak points are lifted up by it's strengths. Some people may bored of Nausicaa's unyielding goodness, or that she very rarely chooses to take action as much as she chases and pleads with her surroundings, but I mean, she does pay for that eventually. It's a fantasy story and it hits a lot of timeless themes that have been hit in stories for as long as human beings have been telling stories. Some people may feel that it doesn't do enough to stand out.
Summary
I have defined the S tier for myself as "near perfect and personal favorite" films. I like to think that Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is near perfect. Some may say that it looks like it might just be a personal favorite. In the case of Nausicaa, I'm having a very hard time telling the difference. I think it would be overly simple to claim that Nausicaa is just an ancient archetypal heroes journey with an 80s anime coat of paint. I think it's doing quite a few new and interesting things with that formula, those things are just playing out all around that narrative as opposed to being at it's center. For a first full length outing by the studio, you can really see Miyazaki's heart and the values he holds close to. I'll repeat myself so that we are completely clear on the matter. I think Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is a near perfect movie.
Overall Grade: S
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old-eden · 3 years
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every thought, head full
sundays used to mean closing another hollow week that's passed yet.
sundays used to mean dreading the entire week that's about to arrive.
but who would have known that sundays could become two bodies intertwined in warm sheets, slumbering soundly to the tunes of an endless playlist i could never grow tired of falling asleep to.
my life is made up of things that keep me busy; deadlines, writing, working, worrying, existing. but i live for those moments that make me forget. it's not always i could get the chance to turn off my cell and lock the whole world out. for a moment, it's just her and me being able to breathe. not catching my breath or gasping for air or panting heavily. just nice, slow, and steady breathing.
I've always lived my life according to how high the pedestal i have been put on, and i swear to god i've lived it accordingly. failing marks are not pretty, and a pretty face will never be good enough. doing great in my studies is the way to go, but academics alone will not cut it. still being in journalism for nine years could be a feat, but not unless I'm seated among the editorial board. studying in ateneo feeds their ego, but only if i study as a scholar. all of these things run freely on my mind, and it's all just so exhausting.
but when i'm with her, the world seems to have calmed down. it's as if she had whispered to it and it listened. the intolerable weariness i feel is aided when i'm sunk into her healing arms.
i love doing academics and sharing a meal with her while i'm at it. i love how she tries to include me in the meal even when i'm too preoccupied to take a bite. i love singing even if it's just my mumbling and lousy ukulele playing that fills the room. and i love losing track of reality only if it's in her eyes i am lost in. i know i don't have all the time to kill, but i'd willingly trade anything just to lay with her in bed a few minutes more. i'd be willing to trade all things grand in my life in exchange for these mundane moments she chose to have with me.
but apart from all these wonderful little things that fill my heart, i, too, have learned to carry the grief that came along with the bliss she brought.
it's when i'm looking in her eyes and knowing there's so much more she wants to say. it's when i'm looking in her eyes and knowing fully well that she would never bother to say it anyway. it's when i'm laying on her chest when the silence grows too loud. it's her hitched breathing when she's comfortable enough for an uncomfortable conversation. it's the tears streaming down her face when she's mustered the courage to let it all out. it's when she's let me touch the wounds that she's worked so hard to tend in silence, and not even flinching one bit.
i wasn't there and lorde knows how excruciating the pain is when i hear her talk about it. it feels like this endless stabbing in my chest that is killing me slowly. when i'm listening to her, the only image running in my head is this fragile person keeping it all to herself in the darkness. i wish i could have offered her a hand, i wish i could have pulled her out from there. and i couldn't be more grateful that someone else did. and even if it pains me every single time thinking about how both of them used to be back then, the love i have for mia outweighs the crippling jealousy i feel in my bones. it may not have been me, but there was someone. and i'm glad she was there.
for years i have been selfish not hearing out what people want to say. for years i have built my walls so high up, nobody would even dare to knock. it's easier when you're alone. it's easier looking out for yourself than paying attention to other people. feigning affection and concern comes naturally when you wouldn't want to bother with someone else's troubles. that's how i survived; cynical and stoic.
but you, you make it look so easy. one look and the next thing i know i'm the most selfless i can be. one call and all my walls cave in. one smile and i couldn't stand being without you. one conversation and you had me watching your back. all it took was for you to be here, and it made perfect sense why i had to endure loneliness. so please, let me feel all the feelings that come rushing in. let me feel them even if it hurts. let me help you carry your bags with the strength i have been saving all those years. just let me love you in the best way i know how.
i don't have any idea how deep the ocean is, or how long enough until we meet the biggest wave yet, but as long as we're on the same boat, i'd sail through every storm with you.
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useless12sstuff · 4 years
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Short stories #3
. 3 Above and Beyond
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Trudging through the woods, I try to place the majority of my weight on my makeshift cane. Squinting my eyes, I try to keep sight of my path. The moon is of barely any help. If I had known it would be dark I would've snuck out a torch. Pulling my coat tighter around myself and wishing, not for the first time, that I should've worn something warmer above my hospital gown. I buried my nose in my scarf and yet, the crisp air still burned down my lungs. If my cigarettes don't kill me first, the cold certainly will. 'You shouldn't be here', the guilty part of my brain whispered. I squashed that thought down just like the leaves under my feet. Silly Linda, I scoff. She thought she could keep me in the ward by locking the door. Well look now, I jumped out the window. Well the pangs in my leg are almost making me regret. Almost. Oh whatever. To hell with Linda and her false pretenses. She can act sweet and coy all she likes but I know she wants me dead. Not more than I do but it is a mutual sentiment that is reciprocated. She's far too young anyway. A bit naive and very gullible. Very overconfident too but she is under the assumption that she's being 'smart' and 'sharp' and that an old, miserable midget like me won't be able to see right through her. An absolute fool. I despise it here.
I hobble my way to my usual spot, a clearing somewhere in the middle of the woods. The crescent moon stares down at me, as if judging. Sitting down on a tree stump while catching my breath, I pull out a pack of cigarettes that Linda missed and a lighter from my coat pocket. A cold draft rushed and rustled the trees and I held my coat tighter, shivering badly. With numb hands I light a cigarette and hold the lighter close, the tiny flame giving me a semblance of warmth. Sigh. I wouldn't want the fluid to run out. I pocketed it, closed my eyes and enjoyed my cigarette. Deep inhale and then exhale. Inhale and exhale. Finally, some peace and quiet….
…. Which did not last longer than twenty minutes. A sharp, whip like crack sobered me up and I opened my eyes to a terrifying sight. A creature with four faces, more than a hundred wings, taller than the trees, so huge that I can't distinguish the sky from its body. The moon is nowhere in sight. His whole body consists of uncountable eyes and tongues. What on God's green earth is this!? I can't move. Why am I not moving? Its hellish eyes stared me down. The cigarette I was holding had long fallen. I am a stone, glued to one place. I can't tear my eyes off this- this creature. All too soon, it descends and shifts into a shape more recognizable. A man. Dressed in a pure white robe, inky hair curled in every direction, skin the color of rich soil and piercing charcoal eyes, this man would stand out among any crowd. I must be hallucinating. Are cigarettes supposed to make you hallucinate?
"What kind of alien are you?" I asked in a quivering voice.
The man blinked. Then blinked again. Then stared at me long enough to make me wish I hadn't spoken.
"What kind do you think I am?" he smoothly replies, evading my question.
"A shape-shifting one."
He folds his hands neatly behind his back and doesn't reply.
"And who would you introduce yourself as?" he asks. I have a distinct feeling that he's humouring me. Like a cat who caught a canary.
"I, well, I-uhm-I fancy myself a student." I stuttered out. He doesn't need to know where I am from.
"A student of?"
"Life."
The alien smirked. An uncomfortable silence surrounds us, uncomfortable for me atleast. I feel weaker. Sweat beads at my eyebrows. This alien's presence has a weight that is taking a toll on me.
With nothing to do, I whip out another cigarette. I finished smoking it. Then I pull out a second, then a third, then a fourth.
"How long have you been smoking?" the alien asks suddenly.
"A few decades." I say, lighting another cigarette. A hush falls again.
"How do you speak our language?" I inquired, anything to keep the oppressive silence at bay.
"I've been here before."
"Oh?" I ask, hoping for an elaboration.
"Yes."
None came.
"What is it like?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Your planet. What is it like?"
"It is a human's dream come true. You can have whatever your heart desires. Food, clothing, land, companions. It is eternal peace-"
"Sounds like heaven." I interrupted.
The alien's lips quirked.
"Something of that sort. It can be very beautiful or very terrible depending on the person."
"Why so?"
"Would you wish for good things to happen to evil people?"
"No. Not at all."
"My point exactly."
"What is evil anyway? Is evil caused by a difficult life?You know, I've always wondered."
The alien calmly looks back at me.
"Have you had a sorrowful life?" he asks, a curious gleam in his eyes.
"Sorrowful?" I scoff. "I can barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore. A saying goes 'Let a man walk the halls of sorrow. Whatever comes out, can it be called a man anymore?' " I asked.
"Sorrow is either growth or wasted potential if you have not learned. Power on the other hand, man cannot be trusted with power. It is too corrupting." the alien argues.
"I'll have to politely disagree. Power in itself is not corrupt. Power attracts those who are corruptible. Those who took the wrong lessons from their sorrows."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"You have become a cynic only because you felt your life was difficult. Your cigarette is proof enough. It kills you, yet, you stick to it. Doesn't that make you just like them?"
"You are not a human. You don't, and maybe, will never, understand the delicate intricacy of addiction. I am not defending myself. I am ashamed but leaving it is no easy task."
The alien hummed," If you believe so. You are quite a melancholic person." he says, matter of fact.
"So I've been told." I smiled self deprecatingly, "Look at me, debating about ideologies with an alien."
The alien smirked, as if he was in on a joke I wasn't. Strange.
I cleared my throat. It felt itchy. Must've been the cigarettes.
"Anyway,how does your planet deal with 'evil' people."
"You need not worry your head over it. Our, ah, justice system is very fair."
"Oh. Where is it located? Your planet that is."
"Not here. It is somewhere above all the galaxies."
That most certainly piqued my interest. I have wished for death on my worst days but on my best days, I've always been a curious bug, too curious for my own good. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Why are you here?" I finally cave in to my curiosity.
The alien side eyes me and replies, "I'm here to take one person home with me. Forever."
A thrill raced up my spine and anticipation settled in my bones. I licked my frozen, chapped lips. Perhaps I am being selfish. I spent my entire life looking for an escape, an escape from everything, my depression, my poverty, my disease, that hospital and its disinfectant smelling wards, Linda, this wretched world. That is an artist's curse. Escapism, they say, is an art too and I am anything but unacquainted to art. I always wondered about what was beyond, a place where no man had stepped. The golden threads of time, weaved into the fine fabric of the universe, permitted this opportunity to occur in front of me. I will take it even if my hands bleed.
I have no family that left, nobody who loves me. I'm bitter and alone. I deserve to be selfish for once in my life. To take a big leap, a risk. Yes, I will.
"Take me with you." I begged. "Please."
"Why should I?" the alien replied, staring right in my soul.
"You came for me. I know. If you didn't you wouldn't have landed here." I say, hopefully.
"And if I say that is false? What else would you offer?“
"I can offer you beauty and art. I can create for you."
"We have many of those."
"There will ever only be one like me. Just like there is only one artist like them. Themselves only."
Silence enveloped us again while rejection stung my chest again.
"Allow me to prove myself." I plead.
The alien looked at me, questioning.
"Look in my mind, see all that there is." I say determinedly. And I let him in my mind, let him see the world through my eyes and feel what I felt. I let him see my arts, my music, my poetry, my paintings that I crafted lovingly with my aged hands. I let him see what a human sees, something I know that he had never witnessed. Then I revealed my sorrows. Hopefully humanity would appeal to it.
With a pull he left my head. My eyes burned and I felt a blood vessel burst. I dry heaved on the dead ground but the nausea still lingered. I am glad I was seated or my knees would've buckled and I would've been an undignified heap on the floor. All the while the alien just stared and stared. I am getting sick of his staring too.
Once again, I broke the silence.
"I will paint your skies," I continue, hesitantly, "and your buildings and walls. I will write for the children and even for the old. Just please, take me. I'm exhausted ."
My eyes burned again, unshed tears waiting for release. I avert my eyes and let out a sigh. I feel heavy and my shoulders slump. Unexplainable exhaustion overcomes me and my temperature keeps rising, beads of sweat rolling down my face.
"If," he began,then stopped. It was the first time in our entire conversation that I saw him hesitate.
"If," he continued, "if I were to ask you to scream your wish at me, what would you fear more; your echo or my answer? “
"My echo", I reply instantaneously.
"Why?"
"Because it would mean you have declined."
"Hmm. Recite a poem for me."
I gave a shaky, hopeful smiled and offered him my words:
My river by the oak tree
has turned molten gold again,
as the glowing orb of light and life surrenders to the sapphire sky.
The cotton clouds float in shy, pink circles
While the rush of the river awakens a memory I had long forgotten,
When this same tree once bore luscious flowers,
Their scent wafting lazily into the cool breeze,
While I sat and reminisced about the possibility of other lives in the universe,
Under the wrinkled, silver moon.
Silence hugged us again while the impact of my weakened voice lingered in the air.
"Do you believe in other lives? Aliens and such?" he questioned.
"Yes I do, I mean you are here so that confirms it too."
"You are a funny one. No one has ever mistaken me for an alien." it grinned, crooked, as if a gesture it wasn't familiar with.
My body went cold and tremors shook it to its feeble core, my breath coming out in shallow pants. My eyes shut down of their own accord. The entity then spoke with a voice that might have held the weight of a thousand suns,
"Beyond the stars we go."
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