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ashesandhackles · 3 years

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The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.

So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.

(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)

Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).

Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"

Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.

"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)

Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.

And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.

Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.

Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.

His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.

Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".

This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.

Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"

This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).

"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.

While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.

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emsylcatac · 3 years

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I don't know how to explain this right, but after Hack-san, I'm worried that the show is never actually going to deal with Chat's emotional fallout from all of this the way we want them to. This was a perfect opportunity to show how upset or hurt or angry he *should* be after finding out Ladybug shared her identity with someone, but the only thing he was sad about at the end was that he might someday lose Ladybug. The show has always put a huge emphasis on Chat's love for Ladybug, and while that's fair, that is one of the main plots of the show, I think all of the fandom now wants more - we want to see his justified hurt over the lies and exclusions. We want to see some real depth to Chat that we know exists. But this episode really does have me worried that the resolution is always going to be about 'Chat is worried he's going to lose Ladybug because he loves her' and not 'Chat is sad/upset/hurt after finding out all the ways someone he loves and respects has lied to and deliberately excluded him (however understandable her reasons are)'. I don't think that made any sense, I'm sorry

Hey there! You make sense don't worry! 😊

Okay so this will be a liiiiiittle long but here it goes! You have first to remember that Hack San was episode 16 (yeah we're really not being helped with this releasing schedule). Which means, from what we know:

13: Optigami, the first episode of S4 where Chat Noir feels like there's some kind of change or that he's a little sidelined as he wasn't there for the fight.

14: Sentibubbler, he realises Rena and Ladybug are making plans without him and starts to feel upset. However, with him being almost captured at the end and the plan in question functioning, he changes his mind and congratulates Ladybug about her plan with Rena.

15: ?? we don't have it yet but we know there will be talk about his romantic feelings towards Ladybug.

16: hi we're here!

In that regard, he's still kind of hopeful and trying to shrug off that there are things that are wrong between him and Ladybug. Him being understanding of her revealing her identity isn't that surprising, because it's still at the start and there hasn't been much misunderstandings yet. As I said in an ask yesterday, there's also the fact that he saw Ladybug's decision as her getting backup for herself and not replacing him, so in a way he's reassured in that regard. She also showed herself as sorry and understanding, telling him directly she'd understand if he was upset at her. She didn't brush him off there, and he didn't discover it in a "I was actively trying to hide this from you" way as she ended up coming to talk about it with him and felt guilty.

However... we know that the next episode is Rocketear. Where he learns that Ladybug once again messed up the identity rule and didn't mind it, which will make him question that whole discussion in Hack San. We see him being more disheartened in Rocketear. That's one of the clue that tells us the passive conflict between them hasn't been solved at all, and is resurfacing in the form of bigger misunderstandings. So I have no doubts the show will deal with the fallout of his feelings, they can't have built that much only to brush it off! There are too many signs and ominous warnings telling us something is gonna happen.

Another thing is, him being afraid to loose Ladybug doesn't necessarily have anything to do with his romantic attach to her and I think that's very important to have in mind. Adrien is someone who holds his friendships very high and values them a lot. He lost his mother a year prior, has a father being more than distant and feels more and more abandoned by him as time goes on. Of course the idea of Ladybug disappearing is terrible to him. This has nothing to do with his romantic feelings, she's just someone very dear to him and one of his best friend first and foremost, and someone he admires. We already saw that the idea of her forgetting him in Furious Fu was devastating to him. This here is to emphasise how afraid he is of being abandoned, and I have few doubts this will come into play later on and in the current conflict. The idea that she could just disappear on him without a warning and no way to find her again is terrible also because he knows exactly what it feels like. That's not about his romantic feelings, that's also his trauma talking here!

This is getting really long and I haven't even broached the topic of Adrien's self worth vision and how he'll likely think at first that the problem comes from him, but I'll still leave it at that 😅

Basically how you need to see it is that this episode wasn't the one to deal with the fallout of all the secrets between them as it's still too early. Adrien needs to be pushed to the last straw (is that the expression? something sounds wrong but anyway) before you'll see him explode properly. This episode was only fake reassurance as I feel like this talk he got with Ladybug is going to be shot down during Rocketear or later episodes when he'll discover she's actively keeping Rena Furtive from him for instance. But right now, it's not about the fandom wants but what makes sense for his character to do, and Hack San didn't give him enough reasons to be mad at Ladybug entirely. Not yet!

#ask #anon #ml spoilers #hack san #hack san spoilers #long post #sorry I went into rambling mode jdhjfdhjfd #i had to stop myself otherwise I'd have made a whole ass dissertation xD #I hope I make sense though haha #this is kinda all over the place

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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

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THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VI/VII)

"the downfall"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst mostly

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: language, allusions to sex

A/N: my apologies for keeping y'all waiting for this one darlings, but here comes the next part YAYY! Enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

He had left me in the room that morning, alone, with regret and guilt straining my chest, with embarrassment and panic heaving over me, my only company being a terrible headache and a sore body.

I was still waiting for him to come back. Of course, he still lived in the apartment, but the day after, he slept at Shell Cottage because Bill needed help with the chores, and the next night at the Burrow because Molly had asked to keep an eye on 'the kids' —the kids being Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione— while she and Arthur were off to visit Andromeda, and at Lee's because Angelina was away and they were going to have a boys' weekend; in summary, he managed to avoid stepping into the flat while I was in there for an entire week.

I would be lying if I said the idea of moving out hadn't crossed my mind, but I knew I was being dramatic— we were being dramatic; we were adults, even if we forgot about it more often than not, and adults talk things out, so I decided to confront him at the only place I would manage to corner him; the shop.

When I descended from the office on the second floor, I spotted the ginger turning the 'CLOSED' to face the glass door. "Oi!" His head snapped to me as I climbed downstairs and he instantly walked to the shelves on the opposite side. "Can I have a word?" I requested, following him, only for George to move on to another shelf.

"Right now I'm quite busy." He replied, seemingly absent-minded as he pretended to check the products in front of him.

"This is important." I insisted, moving to stand besides him.

Not fast enough, though, because he was off to yet another part of the shop as soon as I got close. "I'm sure it can wait."

"You know it can't," I assured intently, stalking after him, only for him to speed up his own pace, moving from product to product without stopping too long in front of him. "George I'm- Oi, stop! We need to talk about this!"

"Well maybe I don't wanna talk about this!" He exclaimed, taking big steps under one of the stairs in order to shamelessly dodge the hand with which I had reached out to stop him.

"George Weasley don't run away from me!"

"I'm not running away from you!"

"You're literally RUNNING AWAY!"

He stopped circling the counter and stood across from me, slamming his palms over the till. "ALRIGHT, LOVE!" for the first time, I didn't like the way the name dripped off his tongue. "Let's talk about how we accidentally FUCKED! That's what you want so badly, isn't it?!" Flush crept up his neck and ears, and I couldn't tell if it was from anger or from timidness. "Go on, darling, lead the bloody way!"

I felt my own cheeks going red, partly because of his straightforward statement but also because I genuinely had never heard George raise his voice like he had just done.

"Cat's got your tongue now?!" My stuttering seemed to fuel his anger more. "C'mon, Y/n, talk! You wanted to talk!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, GEORGE!" He clenched his jaw as his freckles drowned in a sea of pinkish red. "Yeah I want to talk! 'Cause that's what grown-ups do! We don't know how to act around each other so we just don't spend time together anymore— Fuck, I've barely seen you! AND WE. LIVE. TOGETHER!" I emphasised each word with stomps. "We can either pretend it didn't happen or talk it out to make sure we're on the same page, you choose but for Merlin's sake, don't avoid me!"

"OKAY!" His eyes widened, surprised at his own tone, and then he repeated in a softer, self-conscious one, "Okay." He breathed deeply and then added. "We're on the same page, right?" His eyebrows raised as he looked into my eyes. "It was... A mistake."

I should have noticed the uncertainty and hope in his voice, but I panicked and was too quick to respond, "Yeah! A massive mistake." My words stung my heart and, to my dismay, his own just as much. "Can we go back to being friends? Because I'm going crazy without you." I blamed our watery eyes to the argument we had had, and not to the fact that it had been a mistake.

He circled the counter and walked to me, hesitating before pulling me into a hug. "Can I...?" I tugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his middle. It took a moment for him to ease into my embrace, and I could tell we had fucked up our friendship for good. "It's alright, we'll make it right again." His words made me squeeze him tighter, as if he was about to vanish from my side.

And from then, we tried to make it right, we tried so hard, because it seemed so easy to make it wrong again.

Everytime we stood too close, everytime he leaned on to whisper something, everytime I helped him with his tie, our eyes would fall on each other's lips; I would sometimes drift off the conversation, staring too much at his mouth and hands, wandering if they would feel just as amazing as they had done while we were drunk.

"Y/n are you listening?"

"Uh yeah- I mean, no- sorry, what?"

I was so focused on trying to hide it that I didn't notice George was in the exact same situation, meaning that neither of us could give in, because we would go down together. In all honesty, it was doomed to happen at some point, we were just delaying the inevitable.

The moment came the last night of January, when George showed up in my room due to a really rough nightmare, and I, as always, invited him in so we could lay down together.

"Isn't this... Weird?" He murmured as we scooted closer. We had kept physical contact at bay for obvious reasons, and cuddling had been off the table since New Year.

"It doesn't have to be." I replied, my voice as quiet as his. "We've done this a thousand times."

"Right." He cleared his throat, averting his eyes from mines as we shifted in our places ever so slightly, trying to find a position where the situation turned less awkward.

And it happened, my mind got lost on the way his neck tensed, on the damp locks hanging over his forehead, sweaty due to the nightmare; on his plump lips, which he had just wetted with his tongue in the most subtle way. It was a nervous habit of him, something he would usually do, but that didn't make it any less hot.

"George..." I called his name without noticing, my heart hammering violently against my chest when his gaze landed on my eyes, quickly falling on my lips.

The next thing I knew was that he was holding my thigh over his hip, his other hand on the back of my neck while we shared a hungry kiss that, as soon as my hips involuntarily rocked against his, turned into something more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The next morning we swore to each other that it was just another accident, that it would happen again.

And the next one too.

And the following.

The fifth time that happened, we agreed to call the situation a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing, well aware that it was an euphemism for the downfall of our friendship.

I had longed to be hers for so long, and it that moment, as I lay by her side in her bed, that wish seemed so close yet so far; I could reach out and my fingertips would touch her skin, yet I had never felt that distant towards her.

The moment my eyes were averted from her form, her gaze was laid on me. "You don't have to go."

"I know." I replied in a mumble, already sitting up and reaching for my pants. "But soon we'll have to get up, so I might as well do that and let you sleep." I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to see her beautiful irises pleading for me to stay by her side, because I knew I would.

I saw on my peripheral vision her fingers attempting to carefully wrap around my wrist, and I was quick to stand up and walk to the door; sadly, I did not miss Y/n burying her face into the pillow, her hands fisting on the fabric ever so subtly.

She tried to hide her tears like that, and I agressively wiped mines as soon as I reached the corridor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning, lady!" I light-heartedly greeted Y/n without turning my back to the making of our breakfast when I heard the steps approaching the kitchen.

In the morning it was easier to pretend everything was back to normal; usually, the refreshing sunlight and the drowsiness provided by a night of sleep were enough to wash away the sad truth of our relationship.

"Good morning, sir." She responded with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as she walked to stand besides me, leaning against the counter with her arms folded. "Smells good." She commented, leaning on to take a peek at the scrambled eggs.

I was about to make a cocky, playful comment when it dawned on me what she was wearing; it was my jumper, one of the old ones that I exclusively used for pyjamas.

I knew she didn't do it intently; I had left it on the floor the previous night, and it was probably the first thing she grabbed, but it struck a nerve.

I had seen a similar scene way too many times before; a sleepy, dishevelled Y/n entering the kitchen with an ugly Weasley jumper as only clothing, ready to start the bickering with an almost identical version of me who would be making breakfast.

My head then travelled to the thought that lately crossed my mind more often than not and my heart clenched; In Y/n's eyes, I was, most likely, just a poor replacement for Fred.

"You alright?" That worried furrow appeared between her brows too often lately. We were both walking on eggshells, and it got me on my nerves.

"You don't have to ask if I'm alright every time I'm quiet." I hadn't meant it to come out harsh or curt, but it definitely did.

"You're not quiet, you're overthinking." She responded with a tinge of hostility.

"What's to overthink?" I fought the need to raise my voice.

"Dunno, you tell me." She squinted her eyes with a scrutinising gaze directed to me.

"Can we not do this?" I almost pleaded; heated arguments had become a usual thing between us —yet another sign of the unfixable problem we refused to address.

Y/n was about to reply something that would lead us into a fight when the doorbell rung. "Mister Weasley?" I took that as a cue to go open the door to Verity, already dressed on her uniform. "The Valentine's Day products arrived, should I unpack them or..." Her eyes flickered behind me and her cheeks heated up. "Y/n—" When I looked over my shoulder, I felt my own face flushing out of embarrassment. Y/n was still my employee and Fred's ex, so Verity catching a glimpse of her dressed in my jumper wasn't the best thing for any of us. "I— am I— sorry, am I interrupting?"

"You're not interrupting." I assured her with a reassuring smile. "Leave the boxes on the puking pastries section, we'll be down in ten."

"Alright, sir." Her curious gaze travelled to Y/n one last time, and with that, she was rushing back down to the shop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

The ache that had appeared on my chest the day after New Year would end up killing me, or at least it felt like that.

I had a dreadful gut feeling of knowing what caused that pain, but my mind refused to believe it was that, and kept pushing the sensation back into my heart day by day.

George had gone to relocate the puking pastries in the upper level of the shop so I could prepare the section with the Valentine's Day products.

My eyes dawned on the small packages of Amortentia. I knew it was a terrible idea but I needed to know.

I took a look around, making sure Verity wasn't near and George was up still, and brought one of the Amortentias under my nose. It didn't take long for the scents to besot me, and I had to put all my will on not to fall under the potion's spell.

The first smell to reach my nostrils was gunpowder; my heart skipped a bit when the next scent was vanilla.

Then strawberry and chocolate; candy floss cupcakes and George's cologne.

The tiny, heart-shaped bottle fell from my hands, scattering all over the shop's floor. "Shit!" I rapidly kneeled to pick the shattered glass when I realized it had echoed in the empty establishment.

"Oi! What was that?" George descended from the second floor, using the ladder. "Oh shit—" his hands took a hold on my bicep and pulled me away from the pool of pinkish pearl liquid that seemed to be attracting me. "Don't!" He warned Verity, who had attempted to jog in the potion's direction too. "Verity, can you bring me my wand?" The girl complied running up to the office.

In Verity's absence, George took the chance and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to check my eyes. "You alright?" I managed to give him a slow nod, my mind buzzing with the newly acquired information. "Getting the Amortentias was a bad idea, wasn't it?" I nodded again, producing a frown between his eyebrows. "No 'told you so'? Are you sure you're alright?" He chuckled nervously, his hands falling to his sides right in time for Verity to rush back to us.

"Here, Mister Weasley!"

"Thank you, darling." He politely replied, taking the wand and restoring the potion bottle in a swift movement. His eyes peeked at me again; I could see the worry growing on him. "Y/n-"

"I'm gonna go wash my face." The words hastily left my mouth before I dashed off to the restroom.

I closed the door behind me and took a look at the mirror; my pupils were blown and my cheeks pink. I ran the tab and splashed the water on my face a few times until the potion's mild effect was gone and my mind clear.

It was in that moment that it dawned on me that I was in love with George Weasley.

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cognacdelights · 3 years

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hey, i just wanted to ask why u don’t like jj and kie? no hate! i’m actually still on the fence about them myself.. and want to hear arguments against :)

i don’t not like jj and kie. i like both of them individually as people. as friends.

jiara has so so sooooo many negative and harmful connotations. especially now.

first of all, i just don’t see even so much as an ounce of romantic or sexual chemistry between them. it’s purely platonic. and that’s emphasised by the fact that kiara has already turned down jj. the whole ship is based off looks and the line “did you tell jj?” apparently if you look at someone that means you’re in love with them now. also, let’s talk about how “did you tell jj?” is literally just because kiara doesn’t want her business spread around, especially not to the one person who encouraged the kids in the first place. oh look! another reason why they aren’t into each other… because why would jj encourage john b to kiss someone that he likes or has feelings for? it doesn’t make sense. people can’t separate platonic and romantic feelings and it’s really sad.

kiara is literally nothing but a love interest. she has no qualities or characterisation beyond being the girl that the boys all fancy and think is hot, and the girl that they’ve all (or will all) kiss. where is her story arcs and characterisation beyond that? she doesn’t have any. she has so much potential to be a defining character in her own right with impactful storylines but no she’s being wasted on just being somebody’s lover. her entire personality and storyline is just “the girl who kissed all of her guy friends”.

it literally reinforces the stereotype that girls and guys can’t be friends. so by the time jiara happens, kiara would have been romantically linked with every one of her male friends. and this isn’t a “she can’t date so many people” thing, it’s WHO she’s dating and kissing. guys and girls can be friends without romantic and sexual feelings. it’s important not to reinforce negative stereotypes in media but instead replace them with positive ones! let her have a friend that she doesn’t kiss because nobody kisses every single one of their friends for a start, and the fact that you’re taking away the fact that she has a meaningful friendship with any of these people. let her just have a friend for once.

let’s talk about the fact that the entire premise of the show is that it’s about found family. it’s supposed to be about their friendship and how they rely on each other as if they’re family, how they’re always their for each other. the argument that “it’s a teen drama it has to have romance!” is redundant because it already has a romance. john b and sarah are your teen drama romance. not every storyline or character arc has to be or should be about a romance or relationship. that’s excessive and tacky. it’s so much more wholesome and enjoyable to watch them have a friendship. there are so many more interesting routes they could go down with both of their characters.

jj is literally not psychologically ready for a relationship. the boy has a bucket load of unresolved trauma from both of his parents and the shitty things they did/do to him. he’s got trust issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues, mommy issues, a hell of a lot of anger pent up, a severely disturbed love map, a bad example of a relationship to go off, a bucket load of bad habits and coping mechanisms, and no emotional intelligence. that relationship would be a train wreck; jj would not treat kiara the way she needs to be treated or deserves to be because he doesn’t know how, and his plethora of issues will literally forbid him. kiara would constantly be “fixing” him and his problems. that whole outlook on a relationship is toxic and unhealthy. jj isn’t a project for her to fix, nor is that the point of a relationship. it would be all give and no take on her part, and all take and no give on his part. you’re literally promoting unhealthy and toxic relationships. she would be his mother and not his girlfriend.

it will alter the dynamic of the pogues friendship completely. pope has romantic feelings for kie, so how can jj then go and steal his best friend’s girlfriend/lover without there being any consequences? pope would never just accept that, as nobody should. and if he’s just okay with it then it’s a completely unrealistic reaction. jj and kiara can no longer be friends with pope, which then puts john b and sarah in an awkward situation in the middle of it. they literally cannot be friends anymore. it’s a show about these kids and their friendship. jiara literally ruins that. completely. what is the point of the show if there is no friendship?

fan servicing literally ruins the show. you take a select group of people and give them what they want. ok, you’ve just upset and lost the rest of your fans now. ratings drop. views are down. now it’s cancelled prematurely. even the fans that did want it aren’t happy because it wasn’t done how they want it to be. everybody just ends up unhappy and hating the show. the original plan for the show will always be a million times better than whatever the fans come up with, always. it’s more authentic and makes more sense.

do i even want to get into how toxic and disgusting the fans are? they throw around words like racism and feminism to bully you into shipping their ship, they send you death threats when you make valid points, they force their content down your throat, they literally mob you with anons and harass you for having a different opinion to them, they’re rude and hostile, and are just extremely entitled. they think they’re owed jiara. they make the fandom such an unsafe space for a lot of people and are the reason so many people feel as though they can’t have an opinion. they preach about letting people enjoy things and having their own opinions whilst literally sending death threats and forcing you to like their ship to validate themselves.

i could go on for hours about how it’s the worst thing that could happen to outer banks.

#replies

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theonceandfutureking6481 · 3 years

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BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 5: Lancelot Analysis

It's Lancelot's first episode which is tremendously exciting. I remember the first time I watched this show (last year- I really make it sound like it was much longer than it is), I wasn't particularly attached to him but on my second rewatch I loved him, I loved his and Merlin's friendship and I loved his sheer nobility and decency. Lancelot is of course typically one of the most central characters in telling's of the Arthurian legend, so of course his appearance is exciting. Also excitingly an episode where I talk about someone other than Arthur! Yeah, if you can't tell Arthur's my favourite character. I'm not sure how clear my point is throughout all of this, its hard to articulate but I hope I've done it justice.

"Sir Lancelot, the bravest and the most noble of them all"

This is a quote from much later in the show but it explains something very fundamental about Lancelot's character. Lancelot is supposed to be the chivalric ideal, in most versions of the story he is portrayed as such, as the only knight who really comes close to fulfilling it. Lancelot's fault that puts the dent in him being the true epitome of the noble chivalric knight is his love for Guinevere, and its actually his son Galahad (who doesn't exist in Merlin) who achieves this ideal. However, the point remains that Lancelot is almost there, his character is typically about a person who almost achieves this ideal of chivalry, and they run with this in Merlin, out of all the knights he is the most knightly, the most committed, the one most devoted to its ideals.

Lancelot talks like our idea of a knight, its kind of hard to explain but the way he talks is straight out of chivalric romances, out of films about knights. You notice it because everyone in this show talks in quite a contemporary way, its an Arthurian legend for people of today and the characters talk like it, but Lancelot just doesn't, he talks like a knight from a fairytale. It's just a small detail, but it really plays into the perception of Lancelot as the epitome of chivalric honour.

I'd argue that he represents a knighthood Arthur believes in, before he even realises it himself, a kind of honour that's about devotion to one another and helping others and fighting injustice. Arthur and Lancelot do get on extremely well, despite the fact that Lancelot, in Arthur's own words, doesn't sound or look like a knight. His passionate defense of him to his father, as well as the fact that Arthur releases him from prison without his father's approval is because Arthur respects him and admires him and probably because he sees him as a friend. King Arthur's court is often the ideal representation of chivalry, stories like these about chivalrous knights were very important to aristocratic culture in medieval times, and Arthur's court was at the center of it. The thing is that there is a code of honour and chivalry before Arthur in Merlin, the knights of Camelot already exist, and they are often honourable. But Arthur's task will be to reset the idea of chivalry and honour on new grounds, in new ways and Lancelot in many ways exemplifies this ideal

There is a huge emphasis in Lancelot's character in serving with honour:

"It's not my freedom I seek. I only wish to serve with honour."-Lancelot

"He laid down his life for me. He served with honour."- Arthur

"He meant no harm I am sure of it... he only wished to serve."- Arthur

I'm not exactly sure how to define honour, its kind of an abstract concept but I do know what it means, its acting with integrity and respect and honesty. It's a concept central to the Chivalric code, that knights should behave with honour, so its inclusion here further cements the idea of Lancelot's character as representing the ideal of chivalric knighthood. Also the concept of servanthood comes up again, Merlin emphasises (through Merlin most of all) the honour in being a servant, you don't need to be great or noble or a great leader, the world needs people who are willing to serve and that is just as noble as leading.

Chivalry as a concept is inherently bound up in the concept of nobility. The etymology itself is from the French word for knight/horseman, of which only nobles could be. However, one of the points of Merlin through many of its characters is upsetting this class divide so prevalent in Arthurian stories, not just in also including the stories of those who aren't noble but in setting up a code of honour that applies to everybody. Lancelot epitomises this, he is the knight who most represents the ideal of chivalry to Arthur, he's also not a nobleman. Just like making Gwen and Merlin servants, making the most noble knight not a noble sets up this shift, highlighting the capability of everyone to the kind of goodness and nobility that Camelot's ideal will represent. Because fundamentally what's the point of an ideal if it only applies to some people, ideals should inspire everyone to be better, they should make everyone's lives better not just a small subset of people.

As Gwen says that in Arthur's knights "we need ordinary people like you and me."

Arthur and Uther

Importantly Arthur realises the injustice of laws in his father's kingdom and you see the contrast between him and Uther.

"The code bends for no man."

"Then the code is wrong."

Uther is stubborn, we know that, he's unwilling to admit the fault in his rules, in his ideas even when the evidence is right in front of him and that is a fundamental fault, you can see it in his treatment of those who use magic. Arthur by contrast is someone whose views haven't been set, partly because he is still young, but also because he is a better person than Uther in the ways that matter. He's not going to purposefully blind himself to the truth. For Uther he is also one with a worldview of absolutes, all magic users are bad, laws are laws there is no room for argument or nuance, and I'm sure Uther would see accepting argument or nuance as a weakness.

It is also important that in recognising that the code should bend, Arthur recognises the essential flaw in Uther's construction of society and chivalry. The idea that knights should all be noble, Uther literally says that it is the fact that all knights are noble that binds them together, and this is emphasised by the fact that Uther created the first code of Camelot (also the fact that its the first code- makes this seemingly small law much more important). This is a premise Arthur does not agree with it, this episode proves what it really means to be a knight in Lancelot, its a willingness to do your duty and act with honour and self-sacrifice. It is not confined to class, and thus plays into merlin's wider subversion of chivalry as only being for knights, its a code of honour and behaviour that all people can aspire to, and the ability to live and die for noble causes should not be the sole preserve of knights. The Arthurian ideal is so premised on nobility, for the rest of the kingdom, yes they have a just king and presumably they are protected and safe but they are kept from the dignity of being allowed to be noble, being allowed to be considered a part of the nobility and goodness of the Arthurian ideal. It's significant that the first figure to represent this isn't noble.

Other Stuff

"I owe Lancelot my life and I am paying for that in the only way I can."- Merlin--> This is the worldview of knights and debts of honour in its own way as well

Gwen and Lancelot are just awww, like so sweet

"Merlin would do anything for anyone."- Gwen--> True and I love that about Merlin, even as he becomes more jaded as the seasons go on this doesn't change that much—>he's wonderfully decent

"You're the only thing I care about in this world."- Gaius to Merlin--> That was just sweet and kind of sad He's encouraging Merlin to put himself in danger and Merlin reacts with anger because its like does anyone care what happens to him—> but the point is Merlin can help Arthur and no one else can so he has to do it because its his job and its his job because he's the only one who can do it--> Duty is doing what you have to do, doing the right thing even when you don't want to

"It's my duty knight or not."---> Similar to Merlin—> Lancelot believes in being a knight so whether or not he actually is one he has a duty to act like one—> he is a swordsman he is skilled and (theoretically- if they weren't creatures of magic) could defeat a Griffin so he has to do it—> because he can and its his duty to his worldview And Gwen's response- "You really believe that don't you. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you."

"You've already proven that to us"- Arthur "But I must prove it to myself."- Lancelot--> Isn't there just something very noble in that- In the desire to prove your ability to yourself above all others- to hold yourself to a high standard not just to expect things to come Will parallel Arthur in later seasons as he tries to prove his right to be king to himself--> It's funny the scene when Arthur pulls the sword in the stone (much later) is the moment when he proves his right to be king in every version of the story- but usually its proof to others- In Merlin it was trying to prove to himself

"Till next time then, Sir Lancelot."- Merlin- wonderful way to end the episode on an acknowledgement of Lancelot's role in the wider story- he is a legendary figure

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sevensided · 3 years

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how did you get into writing fic? i'd love to start but idk even where to begin! I loved adats so I was wondering do you have any advice?

Oh my goodness! I am so flattered you’ve asked me this. Yes, I can absolutely help. I’ll throw a bunch of rambling under the cut.

I started writing fic probably when I was... sixteen years old? A lot of my early works were oneshots. I couldn’t figure out how to do anything plot heavy for the life of me, so I just stuck to AUs or whatever I felt like. I wasn’t in any particular fandom -- I really wrote whatever I had ideas for. I remember I tried once to do a plot-heavy story and I received a review absolutely ripping it to shreds. Like, it was so cruel I cried lol. I ended up deleting the fic. Years later, I get what they were trying to say (basically, more substance, less style), but at the time it cut to the quick. Really, it was only when I was in my twenties that I started writing work that was longer and/or better.

The fandom that helped me actually write plot heavy work was a historical-based fandom. As I’m a historian, it was perfect. I got to use my research skills and knowledge to create works that, above all, aimed to feel authentic. I mainly read historical fiction, so I was familiar with how that genre worked. Miraculously, people loved my work. I think I wrote about ~200k in the period of a year? These were several short stories (20-40k) and a few oneshot filler fics. While I was part of this fandom I also helped organise a Big Bang which was a lot of hard work but was extremely rewarding. Along with that, I interacted mainly with other fic writers, so I spent a lot of time chatting to people about ideas and encouraging other writers, and it just created a lovely medley where no concept was impossible or any line of dialogue too difficult. We supported each other and it was truly like a little commune. I gradually stepped away from the fandom mainly because it was just a part of my life at a very specific time, and almost as soon as that time was over, my love for that story/ship faded, but I firmly believe I figured out a lot of how/what I do now purely through that experience.

Regarding ADATS

With ADATS, it stemmed entirely from wanting to “explain” three months in canon (at the end of season three). I was interested in the idea of season four setting up Will/Mike in canon, and I wanted to test the source material to see if I could draw from what already existed to create something authentic. I began with that simple idea: what happened from July to October in 1985? Then I thought about the major themes I wanted to hit -- family, friendship, coming of age, sexuality -- and I nested them around the bigger concept: how do I get Mike from being ostensibly straight to realising he is gay? That meant thinking of two steps: Mike discovering his attraction to guys; Mike discovering his attraction to Will. Those two concepts were separate “arcs” that needed addressing in different ways. Balance was key to weaving them together and making the reader feel like they knew what was coming (and that they felt smart for putting the pieces together) without just rushing through and going “now kiss!” That’s partly why ADATS needs a sequel, lol: because it’s not finished!

Writing process

The first thing I do when I start to get an idea is I write it down. Sounds obvious. But when you have a killer line of dialogue come to you in the shower and you think “I’ll remember that” -- reader, you will not remember it. You gotta get it down ASAP! I do that the whole way through, as generally I’ll be thinking of scenes I’m stuck on and then it’ll just come to me and I’ll quickly jot it down.

The next thing -- or what I do in the meantime -- is start structuring. I plan. I try to plan a lot. Sometimes it’s okay to write “and something happens here to get them here”, because you’ll figure it out later, but for the most part I’ve discovered that planning is like gold and you can’t get enough of it. I break my work up into generally 3-4 parts/sections, and I treat each section like a mini story. So each part needs a conflict and resolution, and it needs to flow into the next section. You need to have a feeling of things evolving and maturing. Once I’ve planned those little bits, I start thinking about the bigger plot arc and how I can drop in hints along the way. I’m probably not a subtle or skilled enough writer to yet pull off that sort of gasping twist you get in really excellent books, but I’m trying to get there. It’s hard, is what I’m trying to say, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning.

Then I generally do aesthetic stuff. Sounds stupid, probably. But nothing helps me get more into a mood than doing a Pinterest board or -- most of all -- making a Spotify mix. I start thinking about the vibe and the general atmosphere, and then I almost exclusively listen to that mix when I’m working. Sort of like muscle memory? Just to get the creative juices associated with that particular selection of songs.

Another thing I’ll do along with plot structure is character structure. This is a biggie. I mean, a story is nothing without characters. So I’ll just jot down a bunch of bullet points of characters and particular aspects that I want to highlight or remember. I hate continuity errors in fiction. Like, if someone says they work on Maple Street but later in the fic they’re working on Pine Street. I hate that. So I keep note of specific things that my main character might notice at repeated points in the story (colours, places, smells, names, sounds -- so they’re all consistent even as the narrative evolves). That’s another thing -- your characters’ motivations. Not everyone is going to be a huge player, but they all do serve a purpose. The most important character is obviously your main character. I personally think it’s important to let your M.C. be an arse at times. They’re going to be mean, they’re going to misinterpret things or fly off the handle... just let ‘em. Let them be wretched humans, and then bring them back and make them realise what they’ve done. Let them learn! I love consequences in fiction, lol.

At the same time, I’ll probably start writing. We’ve already written down some snippets of neat dialogue or descriptions, but now we should start the actual process. For me, I used to start at the beginning. Usually this was the most fleshed out anyway: I’ll have a clear idea of the beginning and the end, but nothing in the middle. These days, if I have a scene in mind that I can’t forget, I’ll just write it. It will possibly get scrapped or rewritten, but that’s okay, because at least you’ve got it down and now you can devote your brain power to something useful (like figuring out what the middle is supposed to be). I’ll have half a dozen of totally out of context scenes just littered in my Word document that I’ll add to as I go along. Eventually, though, you’re going to start writing properly, and that’s when you write your opening scene.

Opening scenes: super important. Every time I write a scene I think: what is the point of this? What do I want the reader to learn or takeaway? Sometimes you do have filler scenes, but they also serve a different purpose (perhaps to establish a group dynamic or to explore/describe a character’s surroundings). Mainly, though, every scene should push something forward in some way, whether it’s character development or a plot point. So, with an opening scene, I always think you have to establish: where you are; who you are; what they are doing; where they’ve come from (in a philosophical and practical sense); and where they’re going (ditto). That doesn’t have to happen in the first paragraph -- that would be silly. But if you sprinkle that information in over time it’ll gradually build up a picture of your character and that way the reader can get an idea of who they are. You basically need to give a snapshot of what your story is about. This also goes back to the character creator stuff: where they are at the start should be different to where they end up. How that happens is, of course, because of plot, and because you’ve structured everything to the nth degree, we’ve got a very clear progression of that character’s growth (/s easier said than done lol).

General advice

Write down everything: every idea, a bit of dialogue, a description, whatever. Write it down. Doesn’t have to be neat. Just has to be on paper. You can’t remember everything, so if you’re spending time trying to hold those things in your head, it’s taking up space for new ideas to come along.

Structure, plan, structure, plan. Sometimes it’s boring and I hate it. Other times, when I’ve not written in a few days and I open the Word doc and think wtf is this supposed to be, I am very grateful for Past Me for leaving such detailed notes. Seriously, it helps so much. Oneshots don’t really need planning, in my experience. You just get those out there. But multi-chaptered stories really do, even ones that “just” focus on a relationship.

Whatever you want to write, commit to it. Space goblins invade Hawkins? Do it. Eleven and Max find themselves in a cult akin to Midsommar (2019) and must escape? Yes. Just... whatever you want to do, remember that you’re writing it for you. Write what most interests you, what makes you when you reread it go AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! Because that makes it a thousand times easier to actually get on with the writing when you enjoy what you’re doing.

Write a lot. Every day, if you can, or at least at designated times. Occasionally I have a very specific headspace/vibe I have to be in, but sometimes it just hits me and I’ll say to my partner “I need to write now” and just disappear, lol. The more you write the more you write. It’s so, so, so true. Cannot emphasise this enough. When I wrote that ~200k in twelve months? It was because I literally wrote every. day. Or near enough. Remember that some days you’ll write 200 words, and other days you’ll write 20k (this happened to me with ADATS -- part of the reason I finished it so quickly was because I had sprints of writing 10k+ at a time that only happened because I was in the rhythm of it). Write, write, write. Who cares if it’s crap! No one will see it until you are ready. In the meantime, just write!

Probably last of all (although I could go on and on) is connect with other writers. If you’re struggling to start, sometimes just talking about it can help a huge amount. I hope it goes without saying that you can message me whenever you want, anon or not, and I will talk to you. We can talk about ideas or I can beta stuff, whatever you want! Find like-minded people and talk to them about what you want to do. Another thing this helps is in advertising your work when you do publish. I see a lot of first time fic writers get super down because they publish their magnum opus on AO3 but no one comments. Honestly, it’s because no one knows you’ve published! You don’t have to be tooting your own horn every which way, but just actively talking about your work and even collaborating with other content creators with get you hyped and other people too (and the input and encouragement other fandom members give is just... out of this world. Anon messages helped me finish ADATS when I was really worried I wouldn’t [that’s the truth]. Seriously, support is everything). When you have people excited about your work, you get excited. It’s really as simple as that.

I could go on but this is already horrendously long. I hope even a bit of this helps! If you want to chat or have any more questions, just hit me up any time.

#writing tips #writing help #writing advice #answered #i really hope this helps/answers your question!#i can do something more structured if you want #otherwise here are just my initial thoughts #Anonymous

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danteinthedevildom · 3 years

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A Royal Pajama Party “Analysis” - Part 2 (of 7)

A continuation from the previous post! Here, we pick up with MC actually in Diavolo’s room with him, preparing for the sleepover. This covers content from the Story Key-locked chapters of the Devilgram, so here’s your cursory warning for spoilers!

Another point towards how important MC is to Diavolo, and how unusual it is for someone to actually spend time with just him. The fact that you’re there, on your own, with him, is something he’s still struggling to comprehend. Demons don’t just do that, not with him; maybe if other demons are there, like he suggests - “since everyone came with you last time” hosts the implication that he thought you came because of them, because everyone was together, and not for the sole purpose of seeing him - but never just one-on-one.

This idea that he has someone content to just be alone in his company? It’s still new to him. It’s something he’s still wrapping his head around, as much as it’s something he’s always wanted. He’s so used to being a secondary thought - to being a host for friends spending time together, and never a friend being spent time with - that you actually being there is surreal. Like a dream, or perhaps a mistake.

You’re not just there to hang out. You’re there to stay the night. You’re there, with him, without interruption. For one whole night, he has your attention, and your attention alone. There’s no second guessing here that you’re only visiting the castle to spend time with someone else; no second guessing that your eyes are drifting elsewhere, or that you’re having more fun with others. It’s you and him, in a setting he’s never gotten to experience before.

Of course he wants to savour it. Of course he wants to enjoy this very rare, very special moment he gets with you. You’re always surrounded by others; the brothers, or the Purgatory Hall boys. Barbatos is never far from his side. This moment, just the two of you, for a whole night, where he can finally be himself and have fun as any other demon would? It very, very likely means the world to him.

I’m likely not overstating when I say this is a night he’ll remember for the rest of his very long life, regardless of whether you end it romantically or platonically.

Diavolo is so behind on what it’s like to be a normal demon - and so excited to be spending time with you - that he’s come up with a list of things the two of you can do together. There’s a better screenshot for this a little later on, so I’ll go in more detail on that there, but there’s two points I want to make here:

A) Diavolo’s so desperate to make this night something special, he actually pre-planned the sleepover to make it more enjoyable for you. That’s how much your time together means to him. He doesn’t get to see you much; he wants to make every second count.

(And maybe, if you enjoy the night, you’ll be more likely to come over again.)

B) There’s a literal list of things Diavolo wants to do with you. When he thinks about doing something with someone? You’re his go-to. There are experiences he wants to share with a friend he cares for and who cares for him just as much, and he’s chosen you to be that friend.

(Here, you essentially say that you love the onesies. It’s one of the options you can choose.)

Diavolo made everyone a set of onesies because, to him, that’s what helps make an evening (and subsequent sleepover) more enjoyable. This is really what I meant by him living the childhood he never got to have. You don’t actually need onesies to make a sleepover fun, and to a lot of adults, it’s something of a childish aspect (as is the concept of a sleepover at all); they’re something you enjoy when you’re young and the idea of dressing up as a dragon is exciting, not what you do as a fully-grown adult (who is more likely to be embarrassed by the concept, as Barbatos is).

The fact that Diavolo isn’t aware of this - or perhaps outright doesn’t care - suggests the entire experience is brand new. He’s excited because he’s never had the chance to do this before, and his inner child - the one that never really had a chance to live - is thriving.

It also shows a lot of inexperience regarding the concept of sleepovers. Diavolo... really doesn’t know what to do. Case in point? He didn’t get the idea of the onesies from his own mind or understanding of sleepovers:

He was told by Asmodeus that pajama parties have to come with “adorable leisure wear”.

There are a few implications here.

One, Diavolo went to Asmodeus for advice. He often does this when he wants to set up events, if only because Asmodeus is a big party animal and up-to-date on the party scene - but the fact that he did it for this? For a sleepover? It says a lot.

Diavolo has no idea what a sleepover entails. He’s absolutely clueless on what they are and how they work. He’s never had one before; never seen how they function. He likely doesn’t realise that a sleepover can really be nothing more than spending your time talking before calling it a night and crashing in bed.

So, knowing his own ignorance, he went to the one demon most likely to know what they are - and not just that, but how to throw the best sleepover possible. He wants this to be a night for he and MC to remember, after all; the better the party is, the more fun he thinks the two of you will have.

In other words? He’s so determined that the night be good, he went to someone else to learn the things he never got to live.

Two, Diavolo fully trusts Asmodeus on anything regarding parties. This isn’t a huge point, but I want to note this because it has come up before.

Diavolo, in chats, has expressed upset over not being invited to Asmodeus’ parties, and in Devilgrams, has asked for Asmodeus’ help in setting up events. He knows this is something Asmo’s good at and that will likely make him happy, as well as something that allows Diavolo to spend a little time in his company.

So, it’s not just MC that he tries to get close to - it’s everyone. You’re just... the most reciprocal to his attempts at friendship.

That said, though, he trusts Asmo’s advice enough to go back to him for more. Which says a lot! He’s a prince; he could have someone else do the research for him, and he probably has a party planner of some sort, since most royals actually do considering the amount of ceremonies they host. Instead? He personally goes to Asmo and asks for his thoughts. And not only does he listen to them, but:

Three, this is still a novelty to Diavolo, but it’s also something he’s taking seriously. He’s not just reciting Asmodeus’ words directly - you really can hear Asmo’s voice in the first screenshot, as if he’s saying them verbatim - he’s also praising Asmodeus for the knowledge he was given as if it’s some sort of secret law Diavolo wasn’t aware of.

Which absolutely makes sense. Diavolo’s gone to Asmodeus about various events before - such as the colour party in the Concealed in Colour Devilgram - and much of those come with a set of “rules” that make the events what they are. It’s entirely possible that Diavolo genuinely thinks you have to wear onesies for it to be a proper pajama party. He doesn’t have the experience to tell him otherwise; he’s never had one before!

Plus, we all know how theatrical Asmodeus is. The chances of him emphasising that “a pajama party just isn’t a pajama party without onesies!” is fairly high. Diavolo wouldn’t know better. So, naturally, he’d make everyone a onesie, and include them in this sleepover he’s set up to pack everything he never got to experience into.

This is the final set of screenshots for this post, since the next really does need its own, but! This is the part I mentioned before, noting that Diavolo actually, legitimately wrote up a list.

Firstly? This is a list of things he wants to do with you. It’s not just a sleepover list - although it is, since a lot of what follows are typical sleepover-related events - but a list he’s written up specifically for your time together.

I cannot express how sad this is. This is how little Diavolo gets to see you, particularly one-on-one. This is how little Diavolo gets to do with anyone. This is what Diavolo sees as thrilling for a night of fun.

Watching a movie with you, and eating popcorn.

It is the most mundane thing anyone could come up with. This is the sort of thing you do spontaneously at a sleepover - “hey, anyone wanna watch a movie? I think we’ve got popcorn in the cupboard” - and yet... it’s something so unique to him, he actually wrote it down.

Movies take time. At least an hour and a half. The fact that he’s never had the chance to do this with you before suggests he’s never had so much as an hour and a half of free time spent just with you, without anything else going on - and you're someone perfectly willing to visit him at the drop of a hat.

It's sad to think that part of Diavolo's struggles in making (and keeping) friends may entirely revolve around how difficult it is to spare time for the beings he cares about.

It's likewise sad to think that this time is so rare, he openly tells you he'll cherish the mundanity of watching a movie.

Moreover, these are the experiences he sees as prime importance for the very lengthy time you're sharing together.

He's the Prince of the Devildom, and there are almost definitely events that humans have never been able to experience before going on across his kingdom well into the night. He could take you to events beyond comprehension; to scenes that would enrapture you and fill you with awe; to places you would never be able to reach without him by your side...

Yet all he wants to do is watch a movie with you.

If it's true that he doesn't get to spend much time with you (if any at all) in a casual capacity, Diavolo is explicitly showing here that what matters most to him is time spent in personal, close contact. He doesn't have to make your time with him grand and ever-lasting; he just wants to share these normal, plain, everyday experiences with you.

You make him feel normal. You afford him to exist in a way he simply can't at any other point in time, with anyone else. This is more special to him because of what it represents. Because it's you, and him, doing something everyone does. Because you're his friend, and he's doing friend stuff with you.

It's a little awkward - a little stiff and formal with the list and the setup - but it's only because he knows he doesn't get much time with you, knows he might not get more time with you for several months, and he's so out of touch with how friendships work he wants to do everything in a single night.

In other words? You're his friend. He wants to know what it feels like to have a normal friendship with you. And he wants to stuff every rare moment he gets in your company full of activies he's not been able to do with you before.

Which brings us to the second point: the importance is in his wording.

He's wanted this for "quite some time". There's an implication that he's not just spontaneously come up with a bunch of activities he thinks you'll enjoy or that are typical to the sleepover experience; he's chosen things he's been dying to do with you. Things he's been sitting on for some time, patiently waiting for the chance - for the perfect alignment of stars - to actually bring up to you.

Maybe these are things Diavolo has always wanted to do. Things he's noted down and planned out since he was a child, having heard other demons talk of them, so he could experience them at a point in time where he finally had friends of his own. Maybe they're things he's only thought of doing more recently, clinging onto the hope that he could actually plan for experiences, even in the tentative quiet of his own mind, with your arrival. It's hard to tell.

But in either case? He is so genuinely thrilled to be able to spend time with you, he has enough ideas - enough experiences he's never shared with someone before - that he's fully capable of making a list.

This is how isolated Diavolo was, and still is. This is how much of his childhood - of his life - he missed out on. This is why he's so enthusiastic to spend any time with you he can.

He has an entire back catalogue of perfectly generic things he's simply never done.

That has to be one hell of a lonely life if something like "watch a movie together" is something he's been wanting to do "for some time". That has to be one hell of an isolated life if this, to him, is his most desired item on his itinery - and not the thousands of things magic and rulership leave in potential at his fingertips.

Which leads me to conclude this post on one, final question.

How long since your arrival in the Devildom has he wanted to spend simple time with you?

+++

And thus, we conclude part 2! Thank you for reading this far once again. Hopefully it was enjoyable!

The next set of screenshots dip into the movie experience with Diavolo, and are a tiny bit lighter than the previous two posts.

So, if you’d like, hop over to part 3!

#obey me diavolo #obey me analysis #obey me

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the-void-staring-back · 3 years

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Loki 1x05

am i meant to be surprised that he's not dead? even if there weren't two episodes left of the series, they've killed him off and brought him back so many times it's lost its edge

so the tva can just like ,,, keep functioning without the android dudes? then what was the point of them?

award for the longest sweep shot in history goes to...

10 years and marvel still can't write compelling female characters :/

the freak out is funny, but it's so un-loki-like, and i think that's been my main issue with the show: where's the regality, the egotism. taika waititi did so much for thor's character and killed loki's by making him comic relief in ragnarock which no one seems to be willing to shrug off. even the costume is boring

his face at the mention of thor: boiiiiiiiii

drinking game: take a shot every time someone says "glorious purpose"

i hate time lines and time travel and time mumbo jumbo. none of it makes sense and i hate this is the direction they’ve chosen to go in

the girrrls are fighting!

its so important that they keep referencing thor. i think that's what else is missing from he show: thor and loki are two sides of the same coin - they need each other to be themselves

this escape monologue is so overdramatic. it's such a cheap laugh and was old in the mcu five years ago

i really really really really wanted to love his show and just ... nothing

is this gonna be mobius? yaaaaaaas! this is what i'm here for! the gf and the bf working together!

loki leading an army of lokis constantly betraying each other: accurate but quickly getting old

so of all the loki variants, only two are smart enough for an escape plan?

"is he a coward or is he being brave" - this show finally understands loki

loki going in to hug them but holding back? poetic cinema

B-13 my beloved!!! i could watch a whole show just about her

the fact that mobius respects them shows how good they are for each other: he's not looking for a sugar-coated version of loki. yes: "not so bad/not so good" that's precisely it

loki/sylvie on the other hand is just a step too cliche for me. girls hates boy but ultimately falls for him, softening as she goes: ew, boring. no thanks. just murder people please. they're best when they're just being buddies

he hasn't even gone on the charm offensive once. unrealistic

he can't even admit to what happened to his mother: babbbeeyyyy!

it's when loki is at his quietest that he's most real and likeable. the loki that shouts and postures is too false, which i know is the point but i'd have thought a show ABOUT him would have been able to tell the difference

so much monologuing and exposition, ugh

love is a dagger, kindness is love, love is friendship - finally something real

ohhhh, lokius goodbye :(

i want loki to have a lil found family of his own, just like thor. not an army but a team

he's my favourite, too.

please don't emphasise the self-cest whilst they're holding hands and having a moment it's so weird

i hate the idea of a glorious purpose, just like, generally. there's no great destiny to aspire to: you just need to live

the show just loves cliff-hangers, huh

#loki 2021 #loki spoilers #loki #many thots

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skamamoroma · 4 years

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WTFOCK Season 3 Analysis- Touch and Distance - (Sander focused)

First of all, this will be long. As in, VERY long. If you know me and you followed me at ALL for Skam Italia or WTFOCK ‘analysis’ posts (which I WILL finish) then you’ll know the length to expect… so if you get even half way, you deserve a medal.

So, I have been promising this for a LONG time. I think I first said I’d write this when the reunion clip was released and I just… haven’t but seeing as we’re all in quarantine and I’m doing anything and everything to stay sane in my flat alone and we could all do with stuff to cheer us up, I’m offering this to fandom and I hope it makes you smile.

I think the reason I fell in love with Skam, the format and the intense character focus is because I love just that. I have always had an obsession with strong character driven TV shows/movies and even when I was tiny, I wrote an essay about Mary Poppins because I found her so mysterious and amazing. Shows like Skam and its remakes, when they’re GOOD they’re really really bloody amazing, mainly because they hone in on character detail and really use it for that perfect Skam-esque “show not tell” format. I’ve always found that kind of stuff so interesting and over the years have held this little collection of couples/characters/friendships from allsorts of shows/movies/theatre dear because they celebrate nuance… and Skam just spoils me!!

I have been MASSIVELY impressed with WTFOCK have done with Sander. He feels so fleshed out and dynamic as a character and in SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS too. I think one of the things I was so giddy about was the way they still managed to keep the mystery there while also making it seem like we knew him so well. And we do. But I think that’s the reason it’s so cool because a lot of the things we know about Sander, he hasn’t really TOLD us. We’ve learned it through his actions or from reading into his words, from his reactions to people and the way he lives his life. That, to me, is like crack hahaha. I live for that stuff and for analysing a character and so I became a bit fixated on the way they used touch in season 3.

Now, it’s not just with Sander but with Robbe too. Touch was an ENORMOUS part of the season and we never really EVER had either of them talk about it. Robbe never really expressed verbal discomfort with touch early on but we saw it and Sander never expressed how important touch was to him but we witnessed it...and now we’re watching wtfockdown with Sander specifically struggling with lack of touch. Safe to say, I knew I had to write this eventually and after quite a few messages (you lovely lot), I am doing this for you. Enjoy!

SANDER FIRST...

SANDER.

When it comes to Sander, I feel like I have SO MUCH TO SAY but I think, the most important thing, is that touch is a cornerstone of character in terms of what calms him, what makes him happy, what makes him feel connected, what soothes him, how he expresses love, how he wants to show love, how he flirts… ALL OF IT, and distance is what plagues him.

I re-watched each clip in turn and I’m still obsessed with how they layered his character with this idea. No other Even and not even Even himself has this element so strongly emphasised. Yes, they all like touch and some of the parallels have specific things that form part of their character like Eliott and Lucas and the whole touch of skin thing and Cris/Joana with the hair/cheeks thing and Even always loved to ground himself in touching Isak ETC… but with Sander, it’s such a narrative and it’s woven in so beautifully. ABOVE ALL, what makes me smile and what is so meaningful is that as Robbe grows and opens up and learns about touch himself (see my Robbe post to come), we see that Sander is gifted this really sweet boy who LOVES to touch and who is incredibly affectionate and finds himself learning that he is INCREDIBLY good at providing comfort. So their love story also becomes a story of touch and navigating distance from those perspectives.

I guess writing it out helps to see it so I’ll go chronologically.

The first time we see Sander use touch is when he’s in the kitchen with Robbe. The entire scene is practically choreographed it’s so fluid but the lack of space, the shuffling around each other and the general ‘oh my god this person makes me feel things’ vibe makes the fact that when Sander purposefully touches Robbe for the first time, it’s a THING… that hand on his back. They do kind of brush up against each other a few times but that little linger of the camera on Sander’s hand on Robbe’s back makes me GIDDY because it’s all so intentional. It’s Robbe’s face that does me in. You don’t need his words because he does this sort of glance behind him and a bashful sort of dazed stumble… it’s so obvious that being touched like that by Sander got to him in an overwhelming way. It’s all electricity and that kind of giddy new love thing in the kitchen but that moment KILLS me because it’s touch that Robbe WANTS but doesn’t feel able to have… but Sander gives it because he’s SANDER. He’s demonstrable and purposeful (I will use that word a lot!) with touch.

Sander does stuff in a way that’s bold and purposeful (told you) and touch is part of that. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY - right? So many times, you can see Sander decide and then act immediately. SO MANY TIMES. In the supermarket, feeding Robbe, in the bar when he decides to take Robbe off on an adventure, at the swimming pool ETC. SO MANY. And touch is a thing all wrapped up in that sense of purpose and spontaneity. His actions are mostly not overbearing or unwanted though which is so key. People seem to feel comfortable with him even if he is a little forward and NOBODY more than Robbe. Robbe doesn’t recoil, he lets it happen and not in the passive way we see him do early on but in the OH WOW HE TOUCHED ME way that can only come with attraction and early feelings. BUT THEY HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER HOURS. Hours, and Robbe was fine with it.

Sander and flirting... HE IS SO OBVIOUS and touch is part of it every single time. That whole ‘oops I rolled into you in the sand’ is just textbook, man! Hahaha. I laugh at him early on because he is genuinely adorable with how obvious he is. Same can be said for the “oops I just need to grab this bottle that just happens to be right next to you which means I need to stand so close to you and wrap my arms around you’ - hahahaha. Not to mention the ‘oh let me teach you to turn on the oven and lightly touch our fingers’. Purposeful.

Then you get the first time they’re together alone for their bike ride. I mean, we all know Sander is giddy. It’s what makes it so sweet to watch because he’s just SO HAPPY to have Robbe by himself and to go off on this adventure together. I LOVE the way he holds Robbe’s hand after they high five…. BOY. He takes advantage of stuff while he can. But when they get to the pool, it’s obviously an Even move and we all know how it goes but the first time he touches Robbe is to kiss him. We know it’s all he wanted, we know it was his plan, we know he’s been wanting to do it a long time but I LOVE that they kept in the recoil from Robbe because it is absolutely NOT a gradual progression for Robbe when it comes to Sander… it’s ALL IN and scary and overwhelming and Robbe’s instincts kick in but the second Robbe kisses Sander back, we get the start of seeing Sander and touch being a HUGE DEAL. Robbe is still learning and faced with the way Sander acts first, thinks later, the differences between them in this moment are STARK. It’s why it all goes so catastrophically wrong afterwards but why I understood what Robbe did even if it was so very wrong.

Sander is SUCH an Even and I’ve always said he reminds me of Even the most of all the parallels but especially when he kisses. He’s a passionate dude! He kisses with meaning and with all he has and it’s little wonder Robbe described it as his head exploding… poor guy! You get that first glimpse of Sander acting on his feelings and he’s overwhelming. In that pool, he grasps and holds on and Robbe’s hair becomes a total THING for him.

For me, I get most interested in touch from Chernobyl onwards. THAT CLIP. The stuff in it that’s so subtle but AMAZING when it comes to Sander makes me roll around in it, in the way it MEANS so much and says a lot about who he is. The DISTANCE he keeps from Robbe is not something we’ve seen from him yet. It’s clearly not comfortable for him but he deserves to keep it until he feels comfortable and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he only moves closer but DOESN’T touch Robbe yet. And this next moment is what sparked my obsession…. The “i’m going to nearly kiss you and then not kiss you” moment. He uses touch to make a point. Purposeful. He stands close but they don’t touch and then he teases with it… tests Robbe’s response with it to see what he’d do. Robbe doesn’t move and allows it. He then clarifies how Robbe feels about stuff now and the second he gets his answer … fuck all of that noise and fuck all the issues I had in my head (a sentiment we KNOW Sander understands and grasps onto eventually - Chernobyl being the way he himself describes the effects of his bipolar disorder) he goes all in and closes the distance. KILLS ME. That use of touch to make a point is Sander ALLOVER. Never without purpose.

They don’t STOP touching AT ALL… until it’s used AGAIN. This time, this huge focus on pulling apart. It’s gradual. They disconnect from their bodies then they disconnect from lips and then that lingering shot on their hands and the whole holding on until the very last second…COME ON. It’s so perfect. So intentional and so meaningful. The fact that Sander holds on purposefully for so long until he absolutely can’t anymore, it makes him STUMBLE…. If that’s not a whole metaphor for who he is as a character then I don’t know what is! He WON’T allow that distance until he absolutely has to… and that fact characterises their ENTIRE story right up until wtfockdown!

Onto the cuddle scene and again, from Chernobyl, it’s full of poignant moments. It’s an overload in terms of seeing Sander respond to touch. There’s a lot of touching in this clip, a lot of playful stuff and kisses and cuddles but I think there are a few specifics that are in there for a reason that say so much. The first is the hair stroking. Now, we know Robbe and Sander LOVE touching each other’s hair and there’s a fair amount of pulling involved too… haha… but it’s so telling the way that Sander relaxes under Robbe’s touch. He spends most of that scene with his eyes closed. It relaxes him, makes him sleepy and comfortable and Robbe clearly realises it because when Sander seems distressed, Robbe goes straight to do it again. It’s all part of Robbe’s journey wrapped up in there too, learning how his touch can be soothing.I love that Sander barely moves from his position upside down on the bed. He allows Robbe the ability to do ANYTHING. He lets Robbs move around him, lets Robbe touch him and climb on top of him. He just basks in it and please go rewatch it and watch his eyes even when Robbe is talking… he closes them constantly like it’s making him fall asleep. He’s so comforted by it. When Robbe climbs on him, his eyes are even closed! He’s just VERY VERY happy allowing Robbe anything when it comes to moving around him and in his space. He lets Robbe koala himself on his back without a flinch, is so comfortable with the affection and clearly soaking it all in. I think the other moment is when Sander realises Robbe’s jealousy/upset and goes to very purposefully lie down against him to tuck his head under Robbe’s chin. The purpose in it, at the time, seemed kinda sheepish but we know better now. We KNOW Sander had tried to distance himself from Britt but she wasn’t allowing it and this is Sander purposefully closing that distance, taking it back and seeking Robbe’s touch again. It’s like he’s had that comforting touch now and, without it, it doesn’t feel right so he closes the distance the VERY SECOND he can. He does this a few times from here on out too… that lack of ability to stay apart from Robbe, the wish to keep that comfort coming.

There’s this struggle we see from him AGAIN and AGAIN. When stuff with Robbe suffers because Sander’s truth gets in the way (with Britt texting in the cuddle scene, with their distance before the reunion where Sander tried to leave Robbe behind etc)... he CANNOT wait to remove the distance as quickly as he possibly can. The only exception is when they’ve been apart post hotel and Sander is unwell… but we know he’s frightened, embarrassed, worried about hurting Robbe and we know that he’s trying to keep Robbe at arm’s length to protect him but… and I’ll get onto it later but it’s PERFECT to me that the second he has touch back, the second Robbe kisses him, he crumbles. It means THAT MUCH to him. It’s such a pattern with him and it starts here, with Sander crawling across the bed, not allowing Robbe to be too far away while he still has him.

For me, it epitomises that idea of “i don’t know if I’ll find someone like that, at least not someone who loves me”. Because, for Sander, he WANTS so badly. He wants to be in love and to find someone special and be able to show love but he’s terrified. For such a purposeful person, someone who acts on instinct, that is clearly so hard for him. He WANTS but he has to force himself NOT TO for all of the reasons he gives and for all of the reasons we can read from his behaviour. Those moments he stays away - aka post assault, post hotel - are all for a good reason and yet the second he realises that the worries that lead to his belief that he can’t HAVE are unfounded or resolved, he closes any and all distance and holds on for dear life. “I’m never ever letting go of you”. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY. He either allows himself everything and that ‘all in’ sense of falling head over heels and clinging on for dear life or he cuts and runs… and the cutting/running part honestly must have hurt so badly for him. We know how much Robbe means to him and how much touch and comfort he gets from their relationship… to leave that behind when he can’t remain over the other side of the bed from Robbe normally must have been so hard for him.

ANYWAY. The date. I’ve talked about this endlessly but the first minute or so of this clip is some of the best chemistry I’ve seen in the SCU and, in general, to be honest. It hit me like a freight train when I first saw it. For LGBT+ folks, seeing stuff like this is impactful. Mainly because it’s shown as so natural and normal and given the same respect and focus on desire and sweetness and simplicity as hetero love stories have been given for millenia!

They touch constantly throughout this clip but I just LOVE the focus on it. The camera lingers. Every shot is there for a reason. Sander’s touch goes from playful to casually affectionate to passionate to suggestive within seconds and he drowns in it! It’s mesmerising to watch. Again, it almost feels choreographed. The moment that kills me is Sander just running one finger across Robbe’s collar bone. WHOEVER decided to include that --- director or writer or even actor --- it’s just perfect. It’s so Sander. He doesn’t stop touching and that little focus on the fact that he always wants to show how he feels through touching Robbe...the fact that it is on his skin when Robbe is wearing a full on sweatshirt shows how much Sander seeks intimacy out. It’s so purposeful once again and yet so simple… but the main thing is that Sander uses touch to keep that connection going. The music change at that exact moment is what does it for me. It’s dream-like, swoony and mesmerising. You can feel the dazed sense of love and adoration, the intimacy of the fact that Sander can’t help but hold onto Robbe’s hair again and even when he’s whispering to him, can’t help but chase it with kisses. Sander uses every thought and feeling he has inside and translates it directly into touch. He communicates with it!

Which leads pretty nicely onto the reunion… because the next time we have Sander able to reach out physically is SO MUCH LATER. The assault, the distance Robbe enforces (for good reason because of what he believes happened at the party) and then the confusion about the mural creates SO MUCH DISTANCE.

The start of the reunion clip is one of my all time favourite SCU moments from any remake. The acting is near perfection. I’ve posted tons about it before but GOD. I love that, to this point, after that intense, hazy kind of love they were starting in the bar… everything was torn away from them. As I said before, Sander is either ALL IN or not at all. When he’s in, he’s REALLY in and touch is fundamental.

So it KILLLLLLSSSSSS MEEEEEEE (Yes, I am being dramatic but GOD) that the first thing he does when he walks in the foyer of Robbe’s building, without explanation and after so long apart and so much mess existing between them is… close the distance between them physically.

This scene reminds me of the La Grotta scene from Skam It s2. Every touch and movement in that scene with Marti and Nico is a form of communication and it’s the same here. I guess it’s why I love both scenes so much because ‘show not tell’ is precious and intelligent and so so much more meaningful for a viewer. The way Sander just stands there and then without words, kisses Robbe and tries to do what he can normally do so easily and communicate through his touches is heartbreaking. But too much has gone on. It’s not possible to communicate that way after so much hurt and confusion.

Then that forehead touch. GOD. I remember watching it and being so bowled over without how much was SAID by both of them. The way that Sander leans into it like he KNOWS he can’t use kisses to sort it all out but just NEEDS comfort and Robbe’s touch… and the way Robbe lets himself have it for a moment but then makes genuine crying noises of frustration to get Sander to stop. The “I want this so much but stop, it’s not fair what you’re doing” is so obvious in his actions. It’s all because it’s how they communicate. BECAUSE touch is their love language, the fact that they can’t give into it is PHYSICALLY painful for them both. They both just stand there with their eyes closed. Sander looks exhausted, devastated but also so deeply comforted by Robbe’s presence and the fact that he can be close to him again in equal measure. Robbe lets out this big sigh and it screams “I know, I feel the same, this feels so right and I miss you so much but I can’t let you forget everything that happened” - YET THEY DON’T STOP TOUCHING. I love that regardless, they stay connected and cannot physically part themselves. It’s written all over Sander’s face how much it means to have Robbe so close and Robbe’s little nose rub is plain adorable. They are literally standing there comforting each other while at the same time trying to communicate through nothing but touch… and the RELIEF in those touches too.

It’s little wonder that what happens next happens in the way it does. Those few words from Sander and the touches between them are enough for them to just KNOW. Their connection is so fundamental that it’s worth fighting through and relying on that gut instinct for them.

Sander is then able to do what he’s good at and be purposeful, firm and to throw himself into it. ALL THE WAY. Once he knows he is ok again, that he has permission and is allowed to let his heart go, he just falls into it and it’s ALL TOUCHING from then on. Every kiss is so meaningful and there are a few specific moments that are really meaningful to me.

The first one is Sander’s smile when he lands on the bed. He is never happier than when he’s able to be free like this. He revels in the ability to throw himself into his feelings. He’s ridiculously enviable tbh. The next moment is the whole clawing, clinging thing he does. Yet again, poor Robbe’s hair gets yanked every which way but I love that we get that glimpse of ‘never letting you go’ mentality he has to keep Robbe as close as physically possible and the way he closes his eyes, smiles and loses himself in those moments. They’re so close to Sander POV it’s crazy. It reminds me of during the cuddle scene when he closed his eyes. Touch grounds him in the most astounding way! I LOVE that the lyrics during this as “take it how you want it, take all my love”. PERFECT, man. That idea of give and take is SO IMPORTANT for them, for Sander especially. The ALL THE WAY mentality he has means that he could only EVER fall in love with someone who is able to counter it, someone who is able to GIVE IN to Sander the way he needs and lose themself too the way he likes. He could only ever fall in love with someone as willing to give and take the way that he is with comfort… and Robbe fits the bill, which is obviously as much of a surprise to him too! I think that’s where their connection comes in. That spark between them and the way they feel for each other is one of contentment so they’re quite happy taking what they need from the other person because the other is SO GIVING. Robbe is so affectionate which is what Sander craves and Sander is so purposeful and bold in his ways which is what Robbe needs. The last moment is the hand holding. Again, Sander is grounded by that physical connection. He clings and holds on and receives so much comfort from it. The knowledge that they’re in something together is clearly huge for them both.

The morning after scene is most meaningful in terms of touch when they get into Robbe’s room. I LOVE how natural it all is. Sander is very happy letting Robbe do what he wants again and it’s almost seamless for Robbe just to sit on his lap. But he’s completely incapable of reigning himself in. The purposeful side of Sander comes out in full distraction mode with Sander genuinely incapable of keeping his hands to himself. The whole playful kind of sexy “I’ll throw you around” thing is not only them at peak comfort with each other but Sander’s way of physically showing he’s not going anywhere, of reminding Robbe that he’s all Sander’s attention is on and all he cares about and that he can DO this now, just toss Robbe onto the bed and crawl all over him - hahahaha. He treats Robbe like he’s precious and completely focused on but also treats Robbe perhaps the way HE wants to be treated… those promises followed by touching with a little possessiveness, that reminder that he won’t be left alone. He gives it all to Robbe and in true Sander style, tries to communicate through touch as much as he possibly can because words mean honesty and they mean a risk of losing it all.

The next notable moment is YET AGAIN, Sander playing with touch when he arrives at the flat. The “nope, Robbe, you’re not getting what you want until we do this fun thing I want to do with you to create a tradition”. He does it twice, playing with denying Robbe touch and physical contact. He has a task to do and he needs Robbe focused on it so he uses touch to keep that focus sharp… and then the fact that the VERY SECOND that task is done, Sander literally walks straight into Robbe’s arms and kinda carries him off towards Robbe’s room makes me laugh. He’s like “ok touching is allowed right this instant” … he knows himself. If he’d have allowed them to touch before he did his task, there’d have been ABSOLUTELY NO SHOE PUT OUT! He’s self aware ;)

Then the hotel… and oh my heart breaks and is soothed in equal measure because this evening was HANDS DOWN one of my most favourite Skam watching experiences. It is gut wrenching in real time and so beautifully acted, I can’t handle it, especially from Willem DS. That kid can act rings around most professional Hollywood actors. They both can. Yet another Skam remake showcasing young talent at its most special and honest. Anyway, I digress!

The shower scene has to be talked about. The show runners etc explained why they included it where the original didn’t (although planned to!) and I get why some found it a little too much but, for them, it worked. I mean, I’m not the person to talk about sex scenes but I definitely CAN talk tons about them when they’re MEANINGFUL and layered and this one is. It’s complete and utter trust. I love so much of the camera work here because you can see they tried to be as respectful as possible while also getting the meaning across and it worked so well… especially as the stuff that clicks for me is Sander’s behaviour. He’s so lost in it. Again, he’s someone who acts on instinct and needs someone who will respond to him with understanding. If someone’s not on the same page then he’s THROWN (and this is why the whole cyber sex things is killing me with its meaning for him!). Again with Robbe’s hair being pulled all over the place but Sander allows himself take and be taken and it’s so important to who he is that it’s ALL THE WAY kind of love and that he’s allowed to be both in control and also completely vulnerable.

The way they segue into the shot of the bed and sander is completely wrapped up in Robbe’s arms kills me. There’s no one right way for them. Touch comes to Sander in his ability to be DEMONSTRABLE and also to RECEIVE. In these moments, he just snuggles into Robbe and takes and takes and takes and takes… but only because Robbe is so perfectly willing to provide. It’s why they work. That balance is what is so key about their relationship. Sander feels ok to suddenly go from firm and handsy to extremely vulnerable and the shot when the camera closes in on his face so serene and at ease, happy to be kissed repeatedly on the forehead by Robbe is just incredibly meaningful and emotional. He is allowed to be himself and to fall into it without worry even when he’s at his most vulnerable. He basks in it and it’s so comforting to watch. I love that he plays with Robbe’s necklace because not only is it him looking at a guardian angel around Robbe’s neck but it’s like a tick to ground him and comfort him right back. A touch to something so fundamentally Robbe.

The segue into the second clip where Sander is even MORE wrapped up in Robbe’s arms breaks my heart. I remember seeing the og Skam cuddle clip all those years back and realising that my god, I’d never seen affection from an LGBT+ couple before in that innocent, gentle, normal way! It’s sad that this was the case but it’s why Skam got under my skin and why the s3 storyline is always so precious to me. This is yet another example but throw in the respect shown to mental illness in a really human and raw way and I’m gone. I love that Sander is able to be so cuddly and open without worry. He’s going through it, struggling and when this clip aired I remember almost every post in the tag was about his eyes, the frantic eyes showing that so much is going on inside his head while he lies there still, soaking up the comfort Robbe is willing to provide. The antithesis is insane but works so well. Robbe has no idea that he’s effectively holding Sander together. He’s clinging on. He’s doing what he always said he would and never letting Robbe go.

The night time switch into Sander’s struggles hurts because he’s still trying so hard not to let go but his brain is struggling, he’s panicking, he’s not in control of himself and he’s scared. You can see it all over his face, in his eyes and body language that he WANTS to stay with Robbe and when Robbe asks him to come back, tries to pull him back to cuddle, Sander goes because he ALWAYS DOES. He tries so so hard till he can’t try anymore and that distance is forced upon him. It was devastating to watch in real time because we all KNEW what was going to happen (we’d seen it all before) but, for some reason, the way Sander was and what we’d learned about him made him being separated from Robbe in this vulnerable state really upsetting. He was so happy in Robbe’s arms, so comforted and then all of sudden it was gone.

The fact that the cycle happens again to lead us into the next time we see Sander physically WITH Robbe is just crazy meaningful because this time, Sander’s truth is not able to be hidden. He can’t use touch to distract and to ignore his thoughts and reality. Everything about the way he acts is out of shame and embarrassment and fear of not being loved for who he is - flaws and all. When I eventually finish my analysis posts, I have SO MUCH to say about this but my goodness, Sander is the only Even aside from Eliott who doesn’t reach out and they both have that same feeling of shame in common. The difference is that Sander actively tries to hide away, to push Robbe away and ACTS on what the other Evens said aka I’ll hurt you, it won’t work, I should leave… he physically does that. The thing that makes me a little misty eyed is the fact that he also provides Robbe with information to help find him. He desperately wants Robbe to be the only one to find him while also simultaneously wanting him as far away from him as possible. He’s done it before with the mural, that “I love you and I need to show you but I can’t be with you”. It’s that desperate pull they have that just ends in mess but at the core has such love and comfort. Sander has run away from everyone, hasn’t reached out to any of them except Robbe and it’s his way of closing that distance even if he’s so sure Robbe is better off without him. Why else would he send Robbe that message, effectively using their history and experience to suggest where he is. Robbe was all he wanted, was all that comforted him (hence the drawings all over the walls) and the fact that when Sander is found, he kept pushing and pushing and pushing and resisting and falling apart through grief and pain and shame and every other negative feeling that overwhelms him… but STILL follows when Robbe asks. He’s trying so hard for the NO WAY of it all but it was never going to work. The fact that when Robbe properly touches him, he falls apart is just about the most obvious thing for me. Robbe is comfort and safety. He may not have all of the answers but just being close is so clearly and viscerally affecting for Sander that he collapses and lets Robbe take the weight of him both literally and metaphorically. That touch is all he needs to fall back into ALL THE WAY and let himself believe.

The fact that the next scene starts with Sander, completely wrapped around Robbe, their skin touching and Robbe stroking Sander’s hand just goes to show how much he allowed himself to use that touch again not only as comfort but as belief that he doesn’t need to mask things anymore. He doesn’t need to pretend and hide his reality, he can be open and vulnerable and also have the ALL THE WAY too. Robbe is that solid warm weight and reassurance. The purposeful Sander is still buried there, it’s just the vulnerability is too overwhelming and so he relies so much on Robbe here to provide what he needs. And god BLESS Robbe’s enormous affectionate heart because he’s perfect with him. Sander clearly meant the words from the day before, signifying he really expected Robbe to change his mind in the morning...those really quiet questions in the dark to Robbe are just heartbreaking because he needs reassurance. Robbe closes the distance to him, gets so close, kisses him multiple times, presses their foreheads together and doesn’t judge… and Sander is completely comforted enough to be able to fall asleep.

THEN… one of my ultimate favourite moments of Sander and touch. It’s like a culmination of EVERYTHING we’ve learned about Sander (and also it’s the same for Robbe but I’ll leave that for my Robbe post!!). He’s still vulnerable but getting back to his usual self a little playing games with Milan and you can see the spark in his eyes, the way he uses his words again to assert how he feels but, above all, it’s that contrast between him asking for a kiss and leaning back into Robbe in this purposeful way that’s perfectly softened by the fact it’s him receiving and seeking comfort too. It’s then that both sides of Sander come together and the fact he’s found what he seeks it in one person is so special. Robbe is EVERYWHERE. He’s all hands in Sander’s hair, legs either side of him, resting his chest against Sander’s back, holding his head gently, kissing everything he can get his lips on (mouth, nose, head, hair) and then settling with his arms around Sander’s neck. It’s EVERYTHING. Sander has shown from the start in most things he does how much touch is important in terms of asserting himself, seeking comfort and showing love and in this tiny little scene it has ALL THREE and is why they are both so dear to me as a pair. It’s INCREDIBLY romantic and very reassuring for anyone who has ever struggled in the way Robbe or Sander has… because it confirms that it is possible for people with specific needs and people who have been shaped by their experiences and come out of it with certain needs and vulnerabilities are able to be loved completely without judgement.

“In good time, you’ll come to know, when you release, when you let go, you can find yourself where you belong”

The best thing though is the way that Sander responds in this moment. He shakes his head and smiles to himself like he’s coming out of a trance. That little ‘yeah’ is adorable. That moment is enough to say all there is about what touch means to Sander as a human being and a partner. For a moment, Robbe helps him forget, sends him a little dizzy with love, gives Sander overwhelming comfort that Sander disappears into it and, as cheesy as it sounds, they fit. It’s exactly what all of the Even and Isak parallels had, that ‘i save you, you save me right back’ love story. They all did it in different ways but with these two, I was stunned with how much they put into the unspoken, especially with Sander. We don’t see him as much, we don’t get inside his head like Robbe’s but we still understand him, possibly more than any other Even parallel by the end of season 3 and this is the season closest to the original for unanswered questions! It’s why I don’t at all mind questions left unanswered and a lack of exposition and clean cut resolution because if the emotion is there and the nuance is there then it does half of it for you.

I love that the final scene of the season, for Sander purposes, is him wrapped in Robbe’s arms! It’s kinda poetic.

I love his character so much. He’s insanely expressive and complex and he’s fascinating to me and to have WTFOCKDOWN is a total gift...because not only does it give us insights we’d never have gotten otherwise, we get this continuation of Robbe and Sander’s relationship and what is it about…. TOUCH. Hahaha. I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect topic for exploration of who they are together as a starter for ten, not to mention it’s so Sander focused too!

When it comes to Wtfockdown, we get to see Sander operating in enforced distance. We KNOW that when distance has been a thing in the past, he has tried everything he can to make up for it (murals, drawings, reaching out to Robbe cryptically). That compensation for the distance never ever worked. It always made it so that when Sander eventually had Robbe close again, he threw himself back in head first and touch was HUGE when it came to that. Now, Sander has Robbe completely and vice versa and no doubt knows fully what it is like to have that comfort and touch all of the time… but now it has been taken away. For Robbe, he’s an affectionate koala of a human but his relationship with touch has been a journey of discovery and of self but he doesn’t depend on it like Sander does. He communicates with it but, for Sander, it’s a vital part of who he is. I love that the first clip has Sander asking to meet up… hahaha. I remember being so giddy reading that because OF COURSE. He’s trying everything he can again. Then he broke my heart because this time, his form of compensation is to take Robbe with him on his walks. It’s yet ANOTHER form of compensation to try to fill that void where touch once was!

Clip 2 starts their face to face journey and GUYS. I mean, Sander flat out saying that the thing he misses most about Robbe is his touch just about broke my heart and made me giddy once again! They really did that. He’s so happy to see Robbe, to spend time with him but over and over again he’s repeating ways to stop the distance like swapping places with Robbe’s mamma…! Bless his heart. The fact that he says “there’s nothing better than you”, he REALLY does mean it. We’ve seen a whole season of why that’s the truth! We’ve seen him reach that conclusion! Also, that compensation once again on dreams and daydreaming… ANY WAY HE CAN to stop the distance. He breaks my heart.

Clip 3...ONCE AGAIN. “The endlessness of this tunnel symbolises the physical distance between them”. He cannot cope with it. This one made me a bit emotional when I first saw it. They’re not just words for his fairytale; he means them. The distance is DIFFICULT for him. You can see it on his face when he says those words, he frowns. He’s speaking the truth even if he’s making it seem a little light hearted. Then that little private moment where it says he just wants to be with Robbe. It’s genuinely incredibly hard for him to not have Robbe nearby. For someone who thrives and depends so much on touch, the distance is painful and a genuine loss. It’s not just ‘i miss my boyfriend’ because there’s a real nuance there, a real part of who Sander is that prioritises touch and closeness so significantly.

Clip 4. It took me FAR too long to get through this clip the first time around because I SHOULD NOT BE SEEING THIS but hey ho. I watched it again for you, dudes. Sander’s on the quest for compensation for the distance again, this time trying something new and yea, it’s a risk but he means it. It’s something he wants to try because it’s Robbe and it’s fun and he loves him and misses him and feels like it’s another way to feel like the distance isn’t so vast. The moment Robbe tells him he’s not into it, Sander looks a little crushed but immediately understands and lies down. Now, for me, I might be reading so much into it but because we have seen what touch means, as a stand in for it, and Sander now feeling so comfortable with Robbe, that moment of ‘I’ve gone too far’, ‘we’re not on the same page’ is huge for them. Sander can’t find what he’s looking for during the distance and you can see he feels so embarrassed but the moment he laughs at himself, tells Robbe that just lying together is enough and respects Robbe, you can see him trying to get back on that even plane. He loves Robbe so much and would never want to make him feel uncomfortable but for that split second, the comfort they have built wavered and Sander’s ability to be completely vulnerable was questioned… until it wasn’t and all was well for the moment because they talk and love and try. I love that they did that. I love that Sander’s inherent need for closeness was brought to light and Robbe’s need to GIVE affection was shown to be so true… only in person. Robbe thrives off that honest touch whereas Sander is grounded by it, comforted by it and finds it necessary...so without it is left floundering. THE LAYERS, guys. Rolling around in them!!!!

Clip 5 and we see Sander questioning himself. Sander still hasn’t quite felt ok since the other night and he’s letting it affect him. That questioning himself is the same stuff we saw pre-final reunion where he allows his issues to cloud his judgement and he spirals a little when left to his own devices. It’s that insecurity that Robbe managed to settle in him, that push and pull they have but Sander is human and he’s struggling and Robbe’s not there to provide that settlement. He doesn’t RELY on Robbe so much as WANT him because he makes things better. The fact that all the while, Robbe is learning how far his own ability to provide affection and closeness from afar is able to go by seeking advice from Milan makes me want to weep… because the writing is perfect! Of course he is. Everything we know about him tells us he’d do this!

So we’re in present day and I can’t wait to see what they do next. The way they write these two separately and together shows so much understanding of who the characters are, what they mean to each other and this great respect for honouring what they’ve created with so much gentle nuance and emotion. If the past 50000000000 words didn’t suggest it clearly enough - I love what they’re doing so much!

If you’re still awake after all that, you’re super human. Thank you for reading and this post is LONG overdue but it’s here and as rambly as you’d expect. Robbe’s specific post will be along soon! <3

#wtfock

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mvrtaiswriting · 4 years

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heehee- kinda gay rn,,, can u,,, make a male!reader x Jonathan based off the song Beautiful by Thornly or Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol? Oh and if it could be in a modern universe that'd be nice aaa

Orange juice. - Jonathan Joestar.

Here I am, sorry for the laaate reply. Thank you for requesting something, I absolutely love my boy Jonathan and this was so cute to write!! Expect a lot of fluff, hope this meets your expectations. Enjoy!! x

Male reader (it’s more neutral tbf) x Jonathan Joestar

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Phantom Blood

AU / modern universe

SFW // minor hints to violence & injuries

words count: 2069

recommended song: chasing cars - snow patrol.

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content!

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

Being Jonathan Joestar’s neighbour was fun. Since the day you first met, the two of you became inseparable and it was hard to imagine a world where he wasn’t by your side. It was a peaceful afternoon when you first met him. He was taking his dog out for a walk, marching proudly on the sidewalk of the street you both lived in, holding the leash tightly to prevent his dog from running away. Jonathan wasn’t older than 6 at that time but he surely was a responsible little man, putting a lot of effort in completing his task.

Unluckily for him, however, a cat dared to cut his dog’s way. In matter of second, the poor boy completely lost control over his dog and its leash. The dog started to bark loudly before starting to chase the cat recklessly, causing Jonathan to trip over and skin his knees. You were playing outside, in the front garden of your house and you saw the entire scene. You quickly grabbed your orange juice and ran towards the injured little boy, whose cheeks were flushing red.

“Are you okay?” you asked in your little squeaking voice, kneeling beside him and patting your little hand on his shoulder. Jonathan simply nodded, too busy trying his best not to cry.

You sat next to him on the cold sidewalk floor and offered him your little orange juice.

“Mommy always gives one to me if I get hurt. It helps!” you encouraged him, who whispered a soft thank you before accepting your kind offer and takin a long sip out of the juice carton.

That was the first time you and the blue haired guy met, and you never left his side since that episode.

Years passed and the bond between the two of you grew incredibly strong. The Joestar’s family welcomed you warmly since the very beginning, making you always feel at home. You and Jonathan spent a lot of time around each other; during the younger days, you either went at Jonathan’s or at your place to have some play dates. Growing up, your play dates slowly turned into study sessions and lazy afternoons spent on the couch, catching up one of the many tv series you started watching together. Over the years, Jonathan undeniably became the most relevant figure in your life. He was the first friend you ever had, and you experienced some of life’s most important first times together.

He taught you how to ride a bike. You helped him remove the first milk tooth he lost.

Little episodes like these were what really made your relationship so particular, the affection between the two of you was stronger than any other feeling you ever experienced. You never really investigated the way you felt towards each other, always justifying the reciprocal need of spending time together with the simple excuse of it being a habit. A part of you however, knew exactly the reason why you felt as if your skin starved every time it missed his touch; it was the same reason why you felt a strange sensation in your stomach every time he’d hold you in his arms while watching a movie or simply looked you in your eyes.

Admitting your feelings towards him wasn’t something you’d ever consider. You feared your confession would have ruined years of friendship – and the bond you two shared was far too unique for you to lose it.

That night, Jonathan had one of his usual boxing matches. You never quite understood how Jonathan, the kindest person of all time, could practice such a violent sport. Outside the ring, Jonathan had a very docile behaviour; he was always so kind and a very easy going person. His beautiful smile surely was his signature, it was almost impossible to catch him in a bad mood. Inside the ring however, Jonathan seemed to become a different person. The concentration that the fight required always gave him a stoic expression, which was very unusual for him. His typical gentleness seemed to completely fade away when facing his opponents – but that was part of the game; sports such as boxing didn’t have any space for weaknesses or sentimentalities.

It wasn’t usual for you to assist his matches. You hated the vision of the man you loved getting beaten up with the sole intention of entertainment; seeing him all covered in blood was something you always tried to avoid.

“I know you’re rooting for me” he said to you earlier that afternoon. “But it would be nice to have you there, you know?” he continued, while delicately tracing random patterns on your back with his fingertips. It was impossible for you not to break under his touch, and you ended up agreeing on going to the match. An excited smile formed on Jonathan’s face, who quickly pulled you closer into his arms, wrapping you in his strong, sweet embrace.

“I should say yes more often.” you chuckled, resting your head on his chest and enjoying the feeling of his strong arms around your body.

Once you reached the gym where Jonathan’s match took place, you sat closely enough to the ring. You felt your heart pounding in your chest, unable to not worry about your best friend.

When his tall figure entered the boxe ring, his eyes started scanning every face in the crowd hoping to recognise yours – and when he did, he couldn’t help but smile shyly. He quickly looked back at the arbiter of the match, trying his best to hide his blushing and starting to focus on the match.

The first rounds were okay. Jonathan seemed more than able to handle the fight – it was highly likely for him to win; but he was tired. As time passed, his movements became slower. His shoulders visibly moved up and down as he breathed, emphasising how fatigued his body was. He staggered but tried his best to retrieve some energy, and never gave up until the last minute. The match ended when a strong, well placed punch hit Jonathan’s face, making him trip down and almost breaking his nose. Jonathan’s face quickly became covered in blood and once the arbiter announced the victory of the opponent, you quickly rushed to the ring, reaching Jonathan’s body.

“Are you okay? Let me see!” you said, leaning over him who tiredly laid on the ground, still unable to catch his breath. He simply nodded in response, looking at you with only one eye open while a soft smile adorned his lips. You shook your head hinting a weak laugh, while you helped him to get up. His almost powerless body relayed on yours as you walked to the infirmary, his arched figure still a bit taller than you. After receiving the medical treatments he needed, the two of you made your way out of the gym without saying a word. You were still shaken from the sight of Jonathan’s face covered in blood, even if you knew he was fine.

The awkward silence was interrupted by Jonathan clearing his throat once you reached your car.

“Do you want me to drive?” he asked with a concerned look on his face, his navy blue eyes looking for yours.

He knew exactly how you felt. He saw how your eyes were full of fear when you looked at him laying on the ground, he knew how badly that sight scared you. Afterall, he would have felt the same way if you somehow managed to get hurt.

“Let me.” he added, reaching your hands and slowly taking the car’s keys out of your grip. Placing a delicate kiss on your forehead, he entered the car and silently drove towards the neighbourhood you both lived in. He rested his hand on your thigh during the entire trip as if he wanted to reassure you, lifting it up only when he needed to change the car’s gear. When you finally arrived, he parked the car in front of his home.

“I’ve got some orange juice.” he said keeping his hand on the handbrake of the car, letting out a small laugh to lighten the tension between the two of you. You nodded in response and agreeing to his implict invite, causing Jonathan to smile.

Walking behind him, you entered the house. He extended his arm backwards, only to reach and grab your hand as both of you silently walked into the kitchen. You sat on the table as Jonathan handed you a glass of orange juice, cheering with you before taking a sip.

“Sorry.” you finally said, making Jonathan frown. “I just worried too much. It’s not because I underestimate you, I just hate the whole concept of you getting hurt.”

Jonathan cheeks flushed hearing your words, cautiously bringing himself closer to you inserting himself in the space between your legs. Towering you, he reached one of your cheeks and cupped it with his strong hands. He left a small kiss on your nose before embracing you, letting your head rest on his chest.

“I know.”

You sighed shaking your head; you were sure he had no clue about the reason why you felt this way. It wasn’t a matter of overprotectiveness, nor it was as simple as a worrying for a friend. It was love, although this meant everything and nothing at the same time.

Without any type of warning, Jonathan muscular arms picked you up. Your puzzled expression caused him to laugh, as he walked towards his bedroom and gently laid you on his bed. He handed you one of his t-shirts and laid exactly next to you, stretching his right arm over the length of the bed ready to welcome you in his arms.

“What –“ you were just about to start ranting millions questions when you saw Jonathan shaking his head in dissent.

“Would you just lie with me and just forget the world? Please?” he said, looking at you with the softest eyes you’d ever seen – he knew you just couldn’t resist his puppy eyes. And he was right, as you agreed silently, leaning your head on his chest and listening to the calming sound of his heartbeat.

“I don’t quite know how to explain what I feel,” he said, his eyes fixed on the ceiling above you. “But I’d react the same way if you’d ever got hurt.”

You looked at him, your hands caressing the wounds caused by the earlier boxing match. Your fingertips traced his handsome lineaments: his jaw, the shape of his lips, his nose; you couldn’t help but being mesmerised by his beauty and wonder whether he ever looked at you the same way you were doing just now. If he ever shivered whenever you touched him, if he ever felt his heart pounding in his chest just because of something you said.

“It’s not the same, Jonathan.” you mumbled with a distracted tone.

“I think it is.” the sound of this words echoed inside of your head. What did he mean? Did he know? You tried to speak it felt as if words were just trapped in your throat; you gulped, trying to not let your mind jumping to conclusions.

Jonathan attentive eyes were locked on your face, following every movement of yours in hope to decipher your emotions – did he just say too much? He cleared his throat, not knowing exactly what to do. He was just as embarrassed as you were, and afraid that his feelings would have ruined everything.

You smiled as your cheeks were boiling hot, colouring your cheeks in red. You rested your forehead on his, your eyes intertwined in his. He slowly let his hands sliding along your back, stopping them on your hips as he gently put you on top of him. You’ve never been this close; you could hear his breath on your lips, you could see your reflection in his eyes – and you never looked so beautiful.

“Are you sure?” you asked whispering as your lips formed a soft smile on your face.

He smiled in response, nodding. Before you could say anything or process his response, he leaned towards you and kissed you passionately, wrapping his arms around your body as if he wanted to eliminate any space between the two of you. He wanted you closer; closer than you’ve ever been to him.

“Sure.” He replied once he broke your kiss, unable to stop himself from smiling.

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shibalen · 3 years

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[1/3]🍁Hello! I'd love a [ 𑁍 ] and [ ♫︎ ] matchup for Hetalia! I'm a Virgo, INFJ, she/her, and if you'd like you may call me Lilly! I'm very shy, reserved, and awkward when approaching new people, frankly judgemental with them. First impressions are sort of everything to me. So if I have an idea about someone, it sticks. It'll take a bit to convince me otherwise. I don't trust easily, I'm very stubborn. I have anxiety, and tend to fidget when in uncomfortable situations.

[2/3]🍁Once I've found someone I can trust or I even feel is worth of my time as a friend or otherwise, I cherish completely. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I do anything in my power to accommodate them if I can and do my best to provide advice whenever they need it. I'm the 'mom' friend. Once someone truly gets to know me I break more so out of my shell, I'm much more bold and open. Intense some may say. I can get pretty chaotic when I'm 100% in my element.

[3/3]🍁I'm pretty affectionate with those I let into my life.I hate PDA, I hate being touched in public,or without permission.I most definitely hate pet names like 'babe' or 'baby' it makes me very uncomfortable,though 'darling' or 'dear' is much more acceptable to me.I love to joke with people,though I have a very strange sense of humor.I am a little needy with those I love,I have a some abandonment issues.I'm quite the control freak,with some minor anger issues.I love to write, read, and bake!

♡︎ matchup for @lunar-calliope

hello, dear! aah i'm also a virgo and an infj btw, what a coincidence c: i hope you enjoy your matchup!

hetalia: i match you with . . .

arthur kirkland !!

• Arthur is in love with your bold actions and choice of words! getting into a relationship with him means having to deal with honest and sharp-tongued comments. in other words, he needs someone who can keep up with him, aka you.

• you both prefer being reserved, looking for deeper connections with people instead of many half-baked friendships. you also understand each other very well, considering you both play the role of the responsible one in the group when you have the potential to be the most chaotic of them all in the right circumstances.

• you're also oddballs when it comes to your sense of humor. when you're joking around everyone just gives you confused looks while y'all are laughing your heads off. sarcasm, witty inside jokes etc. σ`∀´)σ

• it just seems to me you'd be on the same wavelength from personality to interests. you're the type of couple that gives the other one glance and the latter will immediately know what it means.

• i would love to think you met Arthur in a very elegant manner, where he was at his best gentlemanly behaviour. but we know the truth is that you caught him in the middle of one of his gremlin moments and swearing bloody hell at Francis (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

• not the best first impression, no, so you decided to have as little interaction with him as possible. but i think he was one of the few people who managed to change their image of them in your head. underneath that rough exterior he truly wanted to get closer to you.

• despite being quite distant, once Arthur opens up and lets you in he will cherish you for the rest of time! he has already lost so many important people in his life, he refuses to lose you too. . .

• this means that although you're rather stubborn, a bit temperamental and might get into heated arguments sometimes, you know the other well enough to acknowledge that's just how you are. give it a few hours or a day at max and Arthur is silently paying you'd accept his apology.

• Arthur himself is more into subtle but sweet displays of affection rather than showing off. he prefers going the traditional way and get you get you flowers, for example. also acts of service such as helping you clean the house or brush your hair are some things he highly values ♡︎

• when you show your affection to him, on the other hand, he might get huffy because he's not used to being treated with such open affection. he loves it and never wants you to stop.

• i am begging, please teach him how to bake. after your baking sessions together i imagine you two sitting in the garden and drinking tea. on the tray there would be a set of beautiful scones and muffins (yours) right next to the burnt bundles of unidentified matter (his).

• introduces you to his fantasy friends (though you can't really see them oof) and teaches you magic. now there's some writing inspiration for you! plus, he's very much into literature so he happily reads your works and gives you encouragement ♡︎

• a very assuring and supportive lover overall! though not always the best with words he never fails to make you feel loved. you can trust him to be there when anxiety gets particularly bad although it's the little things he does that make it easier to get through the days.

• your dates include afternoon tea times, reading sessions while comfortably leaning against one other and music playing in the background, museum dates, strolls through cities and countrysides, and concerts ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

that one summer evening when you were walking back from a date. you had insisted you'd go on foot instead of taking a cab because of the crisp air and beautiful sky. Arthur was still a little nervous because it was one of your first dates so you generously switched the topic from classic literature to light banter. the atmosphere became lighter, so much even that you ended up playfully shoving each other until you both ended up in the nearby pond. you were soaking wet but laughing nevertheless. for Arthur, that expensive suit was definitely worth it.

— favourite activity to do together:

i love the idea that you're both always teaching each other something so i have to say that's what he enjoys best as well. you teach him how to make perfect cake batter, he teaches you embroidery. you teach him how to write your favourite genre, he tells you about the world of rock and punk music. it's fulfilling and a way to spend quality time with you ♡︎

— favourite place to kiss you:

ack this man loves nothing more than kissing your fingers and knuckles. there is just something so enchanting about them even as he watches you flip a page of a book or decorate muffins. although it's a common gesture of courtesy it has grown to have a very special meaning for the two of you.

— favourite nicknames for you:

darling, dear, love, sweetheart. these come as no surprise but Arthur does really find them fitting for you, sweet and classy. he sometimes adds my and your name to the beginning to emphasise the deep meaning they hold. "Lilly, my dear, won't you put down the pen and take a break with me? The weather is lovely, how about a stroll?"

— favourite thing about you:

how reserved but fun you are. how do i explain this? Arthur is someone whose personality has many layers and so are you. you are a complex person who can appreciate that trait in him as well instead of getting turned off when he displays the rougher side of himself. so your understanding, trust, commitment? i think you catch my drift (◕ᴗ◕✿)

♫︎ music box

— I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

— Help! by The Beatles

— I'd Die For You by Bon Jovi

— Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

— Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

♡︎ runner up: Toris Lorinaitis

that is all! thank you so much for requesting and being patient with my slow butt! please remember to take time off to relax and drink water ♡︎

#len's matches #matchups #anime matchups #hetalia matchups #lunar-calliope

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burtonsdoodles · 4 years

Text

The Problem with Skylar’s Powers

Okay this is an interesting one because it turned into something completely different than it was supposed to be - which is why I’ve written this little intro bit last. This was supposed to be Skylar’s INSECURITY post and had started off that way until I realised that what I was writing was actually about something else entirely - so I just went with it. Then I found some very interesting lines from a couple of the Elite Force episodes and it changed things once again. So it’s turned into a bit of a rant post about how little the show actually cared about the source material - and just did whatever looked most cool without thinking about it. Enjoy.

With Elite Force we see the return of Skylars powers and with them she is able to feel whole once again - with them she believes she has the power to take down any foe that stands in her way and no reason to feel inferior next to the others on the team. In Mighty Med, for her, her powers were her source of control - they made her feel strong, heroic and admired - so by having them taken from her - she was robbed of her security and her identity as Skylar Storm - the superhero. It took making a whole new identity as Connie Valentine for her to regain some of that control again, for Connie was a persona which she could build to her own will - it allowed her to find solace in just being ‘normal’ and understand that she is not defined by her powers.

Thanks to the help of Kaz and Oliver, she found a place where she was accepted as one of the norm - where she wasn’t weak because she had no powers - where she wasn’t a failure for losing again the Annihilator - where she wasn’t defined by her past. A place where she was perfectly normal the way she was - just like everyone else. Kaz and Oliver helped her find a way out of the darkness by showing her the world in a different light - a different perspective. They gave her admiration and respect through their friendship, and believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself - teaching her that true strength comes not from superpowers, but from the power to keep going no matter what life throws at you.

Even after losing her powers again in season 2 she is able to get back up and carry on - fixing the problems she caused while under the Annihilators evil influence. She understands and accepts that she isn’t going to be the person she was, finally realising that she can’t keep wasting the life she has been given wishing to be someone else. She is literally reborn and with it gains clarity, balance and perspective on what’s important - the people who love and stick by you no matter what. After all, it was her powers that ultimately betrayed her by turning her evil, and her (non powered) friends who fought for her and her life to be saved in the end.

In Mighty Med she learnt to accept herself as she is and love the person she had become - to understand that just because she didn’t have her special powers didn’t mean she wasn’t special. She grew. As a character she teaches the audience that change doesn’t have to be bad - losing something that was a part of you doesn’t mean you’re broken or are no longer whole - it just opens you up to another perspective. You don’t need to be fixed, you just need to evolve - to embrace the change instead of longing for what’s gone. Nothing stays the same as time naturally brings change to everything - Skylar’s Mighty Med journey illustrates really well, as she doesn’t get her powers back in the end - she doesn’t even get new powers from the Arcturion space rock - she stays the person she has become and that is perfectly okay...

Which then brings us to Elite Force — where they completely disregard ALL OF THIS! The show devolves Skylar’s character growth by having herself and the other characters keep emphasising that she won’t be able to fight Roman and Riker because she is powerless. Bree literally says in episode 1, after Skylar is captured by Roman and Riker that, “without her powers she won’t stand a chance against these guys.” Thereby pushing the association that powers equal strength - despite all the work done in Mighty Med to explain that that isn’t necessarily true.

The show doesn’t even try to present Skylar defending herself in her own way before establishing that’s she can’t. Instead, it has her be the one captured by the baddies and need saving. Shows her angry with Oliver for just having powers - basically calling him useless for not having gotten hers back yet. Then immediately finds a way of restoring all of her own powers to their original state - because that’s the only way she can be a member of the team. It completely goes against the message she stood for.

I think it might have been really interesting to see her work really hard to prove that she deserves her place on the team - whether she’s powered or not - because she believes in what they are fighting for and wants to be a part of it. Then if they find that it’s not working - maybe a mission goes wrong or she’s pushing herself to an unhealthy limit - they can discuss finding a different solution. Though it doesn’t have to be getting all her original powers back - it could have been giving her bionic enhancements or designing her a personal form of external weaponry that she can fight with - she didn’t have to return to exactly how she was.

Not only would this have diversified the power sets a bit more - but it would have sent a better message - that you should alway fight for what you believe in no matter what. To push yourself. Know your limits. Then adapt. Don’t just say it’s not fair - then expect a power up. Not all superheroes are powered - infact some of the best ones are the ones without powers - Black Widow, Hawkeye, Green Arrow, Batman and all the Batfam. These are the characters who put in the most work and the most effort to prove they can keep up with their superpowered teammates - to prove that they don’t need to have powers to fight - to prove that they are equal and should be respected as such.

These heroes are much more inspirational because they are the ‘normal’ ones - the ones we as an audience can relate to most. They’re the mere mortals amongst the gods - yet are often the last ones to fall because they know their mortality.

In episode 1, Roman says to Kaz, “you took away the only thing that made our father special, and forced him to live his life as a mortal. That’s a punishment far worse than death.” With this line we are given the warped reasoning of why the baddies are being bad - Rodissius and his family are angry that he’s had his powers taken from him - just like Skylar was when she first had hers taken from her. The stories mirror each other. However, the difference is, while Skylar had Oliver and Kaz to guide her towards acceptance, Rodissius was surrounded by his powered family pushing him towards vengeance. He can’t understand how he can be strong without powers - the very something Skylar spent 2 seasons learning. It could have been so interesting to see how that played between the pair of them, as she would have been able to empathise with him and his pain in a way the others couldn’t.

However, yet again that doesn’t happen, because by having the team and Skylar all think that she needs powers to be strong enough to be on the team and fight - they are actually reinforcing the ideology of the villains. She’s a mere mortal who isn’t special enough to be on a team of gods - completely the wrong message they should have been telling - and all because it looks cooler when Skylar has powers than when she doesn’t.

It’s both fascinating and frustrating to see all the things I keep finding for these post. I do wish the show would have given more respect towards to Mighty Med side of things - as it’s clear they just abandoned all of it in favour for either Lab Rats stuff or new stuff. Mighty Med was a great show and deserved having more of its ideas running though into the spinoff to support the characters a bit more.

Anyway I’ll give the INSECURITY post for Skylar another try tomorrow - see if I can actually stay on topic. Also, sorry this is really long I couldn’t be bothered working out how best to spit it into two - it’s so late right now. But as ever

There’s more to come...

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