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lacrimosathedark · 2 years

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Does Deadpool Collect Kids?

Here I am in Spideypool Hell, which results in me looking at the closest people to both of them. I sort of grew up with Spider-Man (video games, cartoons, and movies long before I ever touched a comic) so of course I’m looking at Deadpool first. Who doesn’t love new information? Treading old ground is boring!

(Also Spiderverse shit is confusing. So. Many. Spiders.)

And I came to the realization that Wade’s kind of...surrounded by kids.

Of course he has a kid (multiversely he has a few) but he’s close with more than just that kid.

So here is what I think of as Wade Wilson’s Pseudo-Family aka Kids Who Put Up With His Shit. Be prepared for way too many pictures.

Eleanor Camacho

This adorable baby is Ellie. She’s eight-ish years old (maybe nine or ten now? comic book time is weird) and currently Wade’s only canon child in main continuity. Her whole situation is a bit complicated, but Wade loves her more than anything in the world. And actually, she was a lowkey fan of Deadpool before she knew he was her dad. She loves her dad and she even goes behind her foster mom’s back to try to get him to visit, said foster mom being SHIELD Agent Emily Preston. Wade has forgotten she exists (again) to protect her (AGAIN) but she watches news reports about him and actually interfered with a killing mission he had in a theme park her class happened to have a field trip to.

She’s a baby Spideypool shipper too.

Ellie is Wade’s weak spot, and he only tells people about her if he trusts them. The ones that come to mind are people he likes, namely Shiklah, Spidey, and Rogue, as well as two kids further down on this list. Wolverine and Captain America know too, but because they were part of the mission where he found out about her. Super Soldier team-up.

Also, here’s her in the future. She’s a badass.

I love her so much.

Warda Wilson

(Full disclosure, I did minor editing on this panel because this is the one image of her full body without her mask and they gave her pupils that she has in no other panels and it bothered me so I fixed it)

Wade’s daughter in the 2099 future with his ex-wife, succubus and monster queen Shiklah, and she goes by Deadpool. She had a vendetta against Wade at first for supposedly betraying Shiklah and held him captive. But Ellie rescued him, they cleared things up, and they work together as a family, all three of them, plus brain-ghost Preston.

Deathpool

Exclusive to the video game Marvel Strike Force, but she’s so neat I had to include her. Literally born from “the power of love” between Deadpool and Death, she takes over her mom’s job but is a total daddy’s girl; he trained her to wield weapons and be a quippy little shit, and until he was snapped by Thanos because he’s got issues, she’d visit him on occasion.

(She doesn’t have a canon “normal” name, but I like the name Evita Wilson. It rearranges the letter of the word “vitae” which is Latin for “life” and y’know irony. Plus Evita is the name of both a musical and a Madonna album and you cannot tell me Wade wouldn’t love that)

Itsy Bitsy

Not a friendly, but biologically his daughter (and Spidey’s) from Evil Science Shenanigans. Formerly Susan Mary, a play on “Mary Sue”. She calls both of them “daddy” and even wears a Spiderpool emblem shirt. She’s pretty extreme. Bloodthirsty. Wade actually had to stop Spidey from killing her because Peter was so scared of her and someone was messing with his head. He cut Wade’s head off to try to keep him from interfering. It was kinda nuts. Wade ended up doing what he thought was killing her to keep Spidey’s hands clean. She’s not gone though...

Master Matrix

Another Spideypool kid, no shit. A good one too! And a rare boy on this list! A robot of some type discovered by Richard and Mary Parker, so already hitting home for Peter. After a short villainous confusion after waking from stasis, he was basically taken under Spider-Man’s and Deadpool’s wings and called them both “Father”. The arc is literally officially titled “My Two Dads”. They act like his parent and it’s just *chefs kiss* It’s a whole thing. MM gives off weird vibes, but all in all, he just wants to help. He’s a good boy!

He even gets them to hug!

He then proceeds to send them on a bonding road trip with just...so much Spideypool. That’s where the “Why are you holding my hand?” “It helps me focus.” comes from. And so much fourth-wall breaking and writer interference. Spidey even plays along with Wade’s fourth-wall-breaking shenanigans even though he doesn’t believe it. It’s the best.

Now we move to ones who aren’t his kids!

Gwendolyne Poole

Gwenpool and Deadpool weren’t chummy at first; she didn’t read his book and thought he was too “lol memes”. But they actually got to be pretty friendly. They’re buddies now.

He helped Gwen when she was having an existential crisis and is currently the caretaker of her pet Jeff the Land Shark who is the cutest thing and I love him. He even dresses as Gwen once to make Jeff happy it’s adorable.

I also think he rocks Gwen’s look. He looks great.

Ellie Phimister

Everyone knows about Negasonic Teenage Warhead from the movies where they have that affectionate deadpan snark between them. When they first met, Wade’s group had been contracted to kidnap her. She evaded everyone else, but when met with Deadpool who literally tried to talk her into being kidnapped, she had a vision where he said he wouldn’t leave her behind, and she literally just surrenders.

When Wade finds out what is happening to his targets, he goes in to save her. She has a particular loyalty to Wade and sticks by him pretty much no matter what, but she gradually settles into that deadpan sarcasm.

She takes his nonsense with a straight face and doesn’t tolerate his bullshit. Or at least snarks right back at him.

She’s also one of the few who for sure know about the other Ellie, Eleanor, and looks out for her.

Gabrielle Kinney

A little unexpected, but adorable! Gabby Kinney, also known as Scout or Honey Badger, which is amazing. She don’t give a FUCK. She’s a clone of Laura Kinney, aka X-23 and Wolverine, who is another clone daughter of Logan/James/OG Wolverine. She and Wade bonded over their scars and they’re besties now.

There aren’t a whole lot of instances of Wade and Gabby together, but every SINGLE one is absolute gold. They’re so fucking CUTE. Prepare for so many panels.

Have you seen anything more precious? Best friends.

Evan Sabahnur

Formerly Kid Apocalypse, also known as Genesis. Long story, but pretty much explained in the above page. Wade in particular was determined to save him, as killing him didn’t sit right for some reason, and he was certain that despite everything, Evan was a good kid. When shit went down and Evan didn’t think he could return to the Academy, Wade took him in. Like, brought him to the home he bought across the street from Eleanor and the Prestons.

Wade even says he’ll never have a son, (this is before MM, but it’s funny cuz biologically and multiversely, he does only have daughters) but if he did he’d like him to be like Evan, which is hilarious to me. But that kinda makes what Wade says super sweet.

He also saves Ellie.

Haruka Hida

From Deadpool Samurai, she goes by Sakura-Spider and is a blatant Peter Parker rip-off. Literally she lives with her Aunt Mei and her Uncle Tsutomu which the kanji can also be read as Ben. No shit. The only real difference is the spider bit her on her face and it scarred, hence the spots under her eye. BUT she’s Deadpool’s partner in Japan and she’s super cute. Typical manga protag girl but what can you expect?

(Legit buy them they’re super fun and it’s worth it especially if you like manga it’s so dumb and I love it please buy it)

Neiro Aratabi

Another Deadpool: Samurai character. As said above, she’s an idol in Japan. She’s bonded to an amnesiac symbiote she calls Kage (in case you aren’t up on Japanese, it’s pronounce like “kah-gay” and it means shadow). They like chocolate. She doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but she’s happy being part of the team. She’s content as long as people think she’s cute, for, of course, over-dramatic very anime reasons.

That is ELEVEN CHILDREN. And I’m a newb, this might not even be all of the kids he’s close to!

For comparison, Bruce Wayne has SIX kids (Dick, Jason, Cass, Tim, Duke, and Damian). He has a few other pseudo-kids, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, and maybe Helena Bertinelli and Maps Mizoguchi, but like...dude.

I need everyone to know that Deadpool is good with kids.

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hihomeghere · 3 months

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You could say I’m a bit obsessed with these dumb cowboys <3

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maturiin · 1 year

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flowers for a lady

#art #red dead redemption 2 #letting go of this oop there it goes #molly o'shea #karen jones #susan grimshaw #mary-beth gaskill #abigail roberts #tilly jackson #sadie adler #i hope the flower meanings aren't too obscure to understand #if anyone's rlly interested i can make a post about my thought process behind it lol

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androgynousfool · 6 months

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metamorphesque · 1 year

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musings on trees

Vincent van Gogh, Susan Sontag, Mary Oliver, @jakobhetzer, Alexandre Louis Jacob, Franz Wright, This 390 year-old bonsai tree survived Hiroshima (Japan), Joyce Kilmer, Debbie Parker, Czeslaw Milosz, Ivan Shishkin, Robert Frost, Francesca Dottavi, RM 'Wild Flower (with youjeen), Sylvia Plath

buy me a coffee

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dysphoresque · 2 years

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When frankenstein's creature said accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? And when Judas said why didn't you make me good enough so that you could've loved me? And when wych elm said why did you do this to me? I was your baby. You made me. But then sophokles said, i am the shape you made me, filth teaches filth.

#victor frankenstein #frankensteinsmonster #frankenstein #mary shelley #god it's my favourite book #judas #the last days of judas iscariot #stephen adly guirgis #mommy issues #toxic mom #toxic parents #wych elm #susan smith #i am the shape you made me #filth teaches filth

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strrwbrrryjam · 30 days

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"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.

#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them #but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment #being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc #i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan #when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha #there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him #people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane #you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality #and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game #treat them as such #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 molly o'shea #molly o'shea #rdr2 susan grimshaw #susan grimshaw #rdr2 sadie adler #sadie adler #rdr2 abigail roberts #abigail roberts #rdr2 mary gillis #mary gillis #rdr2 tilly jackson #tilly jackson #rdr2 karen jones #karen jones #rdr2 mary beth gaskill #mary beth gaskill #rdr2 van der linde gang #van der linde gang

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garfieldblunt · 6 days

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How Many Shots do I need to Kiss the VDL gang members?

Arthur - 1 for confidence

Kieran - sober, hand him over

Lenny - 2 so we can cheers

Micah - I need to be Alcohol Poisoned to look in his direction

Dutch - 5 He needs to convince me though

Javier - Sober, Maybe 1 for encouragement

Abigail - 1 for confidence, she’s really pretty :)

Bill - I need to be family guy death posing before I think about kissing him

Pearson - 3 I feel like he would be a gentle kisser

Tilly - 2 I would still probably be nervous though

Molly - Sober, baby please I can treat you better I promise just give me a chance

John - 4 he looks like he would kiss me while he still had food on his lips :(

Mary Beth - 2 she definitely learned how to kiss from reading romance novels

Grimshaw - I don’t think she would let me :(

Uncle - no. :( I’m not kissing PeePaw

Hosea - 4 I’m kissing PawPee

Karen - 2 but I don’t have a Maguire Junior for her :(

Sean - 7 He’s going to show me his Maguire Junior :(

Charles - 2 for confidence

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toothachebench · 1 year

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on Survival and Hope

Grant Howitt, Franz Kafka, Walt Whitman, Bruce Springsteen, Susan Sontag, Melina Marchetta, @seravph , Mary Oliver, Keaton Henson

#Connecting dots #i think my brain is rotting #Melina Marchetta #Kafka #Walt Whitman #Mary Oliver #susan sontag #Springsteen #Web Weaving

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red-dead-bisexual · 5 months

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O red dead ladies, carry me through the trials of finals...

#molly o'shea #mary linton #abigail roberts #abigail marston #sadie adler #tilly jackson #karen jones #mary beth gaskill #susan grimshaw #black belle

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draftmonologue · 1 year

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1. Susan Sontag—As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980, 2. Phoebe Waller Bridge—Fleabag, 3. Richard Siken—Wishbone, 4. Anonymous, 5. Atonement dir. Joe Wright 6. Hot Priest Monologue—Phoebe Waller Bridge 7. Gillian Flynn—Dark Places 8. Meditation in an Emergency— Cameron Awkward-Rich , 9. Billie Eilish— idontwannabeyouanymore, 10. Stephen Adly Guirgis— The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, 11. Lioness Dewinter—Sìren Loa 12. Bernie Wrightson’s Illustration of Frankenstein’s Monster. 13. Bonnie Winterbottom—How To Get Away With Murder, 14. Sade Andria Zabala—Paper Napkin Stories, 15. Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz — Love Opened a Mortal Wound, 16. Unknown 17. Miley Cyrus — Never Be Me, 18 Kim Addonizio— Wild Nights; New Poems; Pareidolia, 19. Crazy/Beautiful dir. John Stockwell, 20. I.B. Vyache, Conversations Over Sanguinaccio Dolce.

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llovelymoonn · 1 year

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who am i?

mary oliver house of light: “maybe” (via @weltenwellen) \\ the makanai: cooking for the maiko house (via @idleminds) \\ andrew wyeth spring (1978) \\ susan sontag as consciousness is harnessed to flesh: journals and notebooks, 1964-1980: “february 17th, 1970” (via @theoptia)

support me

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hihomeghere · 2 months

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Fishing in the dark | Arthur Morgan / Reader

Word Count : 1.3k (a little guy) Summary : You and Arthur have a private evening away from camp on the Dakota River. Warnings/tags : Cursing, unprotected piv, talk of nudity (both male and female), cursing, reader can swim, s3x in the river, established relationship, set in chapter 3

The Dakota River was now your favorite place to be at sunset. The cool breeze coming off the sparkling water, your body cushioned by the bed of grass. The way the setting sun cast a golden light over everything it touched.

Getting away from the gang for a while had been Arthur’s greatest idea yet. After all that mess in Valentine had led you to Clemens point. Sat on the east coast of Flat Iron lake, near the town of Rhodes. Getting eaten alive by mosquitos while the heat of the Scarlett Meadows sun beat down on you.

And although you thought maybe a room in Rhodes would have been a better way to keep each other company, you couldn’t beat this view.

Arthur stood on the shore, fishing pole in hand. His tall silhouette dark against the golden light, his shadow growing longer on the rocks. What a sight, every subtle flick of his wrist, his bicep tensing and he pulled on the pole. You didn’t even know why he was still fishing so late. He had already caught dinner, which you had prepared over a small fire. While along the shore you had picked some burdock root and common bulrush for camp, knowing that Miss Grimshaw could find some use for the plants. At long last the sun fell below the horizon, a sliver of burnt amber spreading across the sky before being enveloped by a dark blue. The moon slowly rose above you. A beautiful yellow spotlight peeking through the trees.

Arthur stood, still as a statue, as though he was carved of marble. A wicked thought entered your head, slowly you moved to unlace your boots. Pulling them off until you could dig your toes into the grassy floor beneath you. Then you untied the strings to your skirt. Letting the fabric fall, along with your shirt. Leaving you standing in only your chemise, and it wasn’t long before that was discarded as well.

Arthur had heard the slight rustling of fabric behind him, but he was honestly too preoccupied with the pole in his hands. Enjoying the quiet serenity of the river. That was until you ran butt ass naked into it.

“Darlin!” He yelled his eyes widening in shock as your laughter joined the sound of water splashing.

“Come on cowboy!” You called submerged to your waist, your breasts above the water for any passersby to see. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea yet, the freezing water chilling your bones.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He chuckled, unfortunately amused by your actions even though he knew he shouldn’t be.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” You called back, teeth chattering by the sudden drop in temperature.

“It looks like you’re giving anyone that passes through a free peep show.” He called his hand resting on his gun belt as he not so casually adjusted himself. You stepped back further into the dark water until only your shoulders and up were visible.

“When did you become such a prude?” You chided a teasing smile on your lips.

“When someone could lay eyes on my woman.” He said laying down his pole, crossing his arms over his chest. You felt a shiver run down your spine, whether it was from his words or the cold water you couldn’t tell.

“Well get in here and claim your woman before someone else does!” You called, a shit eating grin spreading across your face.

Arthur sighed, looking down as the brim of his hat shielded most of his face from you. Your grin only grew as he unbuckled his gun belt, letting it fall to the ground. He pulled his suspenders off his broad shoulders. He shook his head, his own grin growing on his face as he began to pull off his clothes.

“You’re gonna get it girl.” He warned, his eyes taking on a dark haze. His lips pulling back into a smirk, looking down at you like prey. An electric shock of anticipation ran up your body as he finally pulled off the last layer, his cock springing up against his stomach. He stepped forward, wading into the water. “Jesus!” He yelped, a shiver running through him.

“It’s not that bad!” You called with a laugh.

“Not that-“ He shook his head, “Christ I can’t feel my toes.” He muttered swimming over to you, his arm wrapping around you pulling you close. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you held onto his shoulders

“Hey there.” You grin, watching the water droplets run down his face.

“Howdy.” He muses, you place your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat against your palm.

“Still cold?” You ask sweetly.

“Very.” He chuckles.

“I think I could warm you up.” You say biting your lip.

“Please do.” He says softly as you lean forward. Your nose bumping against his as you stare him down. He leans forward pressing his lips against yours. His tongue swiping along your lower lip as he pressed you down onto his pelvis. Clenching around nothing as his cock bumped against the nub of your clit, a soft moan leaving your throat.

“I can feel that.” You said softly, biting your lip as you looked into his eyes.

“I’m sure you can.” His chest rumbling as he chuckled. He moved his hand from your waist and reached down between your legs. The tip of his length catching against your entrance. “Think you’re wet enough?” He teases, his teeth glinting in the moonlight as he smirks.

You bite back a rebuttal as he slips inside you with ease, he swallows your gasp as his mouth covers yours. Groaning into your mouth, a deep almost primal noise. One that sends pleasure shooting through your body. You whine as he pulls out slightly, only to press your body down onto his pelvis. His cock rubbing against that spot inside you.

He knows this dance like the back of his hand, how to make you tick, more specifically how to make you scream. The hand that’s not holding your hip with a vice like grip moves up your body, his hands splayed against your stomach. Before reaching up to cup your breast, pinching your nipple.

“Arthur.” You gasp, feeling him rut against you, growling against your neck like a wild animal.

“Feel so good darlin’.” He huffs against your neck, nipping and kissing as he continues his attack on your pussy. His cock thrusting deep strokes against your walls. Your body is buzzing, your toes curling as he brings you closer and closer to your peak. He can feel you flutter around him, his lips quirk up. He moves his hand down to between your legs, rubbing your clit.

You cry out, a pitiful noise as you cum around him. Your nails dig into his shoulders, your brows knit together as your jaw hangs open. He smirks, tilting his head back as a low, shit, leaves his mouth.

His hips start to stutter as he pounds into you, trying to reach his orgasm while you’re still working through yours. He’s quick behind you, his hands holding you so close against him you’re sure you’ll have bruises. He thrusts into you one last time, a choked groan rumbling in his chest. You hold onto him as his dick twitches inside of you. Painting your insides with his seed. You smile up at him lazily, watching his face contort in pleasure.

“Shit darlin’.” He huffs, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your own. The bite of the water is no longer a thought as his warm body presses against yours.

“You warm now, cowboy?” You tease brushing your nose against this neck, pressing a kiss over his pulse point.

“Very.” He chuckles, “But I’d like to get my beautiful girl out of these waters now.” He says grabbing a handful of your ass before throwing you over his shoulder. “I ain’t done with you yet.”

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maturiin · 1 year

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oook another red dead sketch dump

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popping-your-culture · 6 months

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#fantastic four #susan storm #reed richards #invisible woman #mr. fantastic #marvel #marvel comics #earl norem #marie severin #comics #bronze age comics #art

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spoonsand · 27 days

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RIP RED DEAD CHARACTERS YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED

Dutch- disposable fruity flavoured (mango) vapes, Duolingo

Hosea- rollerblading, old VHS movies, The Sound of Music, ear studs, small hoops, and ear cuffs

Arthur- LED strip lights, therapy, The Joy of Painting

John- Ax body spray, deodorant, those little arm floaties little kids wear in the pool

Mary-Beth- Lego flowers, The Notebook, Pinterest

Tilly- Easter egg hunts, making slime, slumber parties

Karen- Tube/crop tops, jean shorts, weightlifting

Sean- make your own mead kits, TikTok, “kiss me in Irish”, SUNSCREEN

Abigail- AirTags (she would put one on little Jack), Roasting marshmallows, Crime shows/courtroom dramas, Man! I Feel like a woman! By Shania Twain

Uncle- recliner chairs, dog sledding, Wheel of Fortune, Crosswords

Susan- Dark nail polish, cats(I’m 100% sure she’d own either a black cat or a tortishell that would sit on her lap/shoulder), dishwashers

Kieran- Creep by Radiohead, Tv shows about veterinarians, friendship bracelets (with Arthur)

Reverend Swanson- Support groups, The Robert Langdon series (especially Inferno, Angels & Demons), communion wine

Javier- Cards Against Humanity, online sheet music, ear gauges

Molly- Champaign toast anything from bath and bodywork’s, naval AND lip piercing, SUNSCREEN

Bill-sexy firefighter calendars, Grindr, Bumbl, all the dating apps, apples dipped in caramel, jolly ranchers

Charles- IMessage games (mini golf and battleship in particular), those long distance ‘thinking of you bracelets’, 90’s sitcoms

Lenny- The Carpenters, cologne to make him seem grown up, head pats

Trelawney- Harry Houdini, 50-60s movies, smoke bombs, dramatic flares

Strauss- a soul, Nigerian Prince scams, telemarketing

Sadie- gyms, self defence classes, the free Britany movement

Micah- staying in the strawberry jail, toothbrush + paste, good posture

Pearson- small businesses, handmade gifts, trying TikTok recipes

EXTRA

Annabelle- Gwen Stefani, sequins, Fast and the Furious

Jack (young)- The Backyardagains, cocomelon, a little toy train

Jack (epilogue)- Monty Python, skateboarding, swimming

Bessie- Bette Midler look a like contests, growing old, brown eyeliner, SUNSCREEN

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