#also my other take is that choosing and making fun of the “weakest link” of your minority group does more harm than good

[prettyboy-parker]

take for the day: "hey mamas lesbian" jokes were only funny when used by lesbians but now that the rest of the community + straight women make them it feels more like genuine hatred of lesbians than a joke

#“omg i hate hey mamas lesbians they’re so annoying” says the gay man #like #come on now #it feels like a punch to the gut whenever i see a tweet or a tik tok about it #also my other take is that choosing and making fun of the “weakest link” of your minority group does more harm than good #but that’s a topic for another day #discourse #lyn is lame

[moontheoretist]

Notes from tie-in MCU comics:

Part 1:

[DISCLAIMER: I was making those notes without actually writing down from which comic they come from, so now I am... well... confused about the proper placement of them, but I tried to discern them anyway.]

CAPTAIN AMERICA THE FIRST AVENGER:

Lol, Zola was developing exo-skeleton looking like Iron Man suit and Vanko's suit in 1934. I kind of think part of Steve's dislike of Iron Man was because of that exo-suit. Also, Steve just saved the guy in a suit.

"The chain is only as strong as its weakest link" said twice to Steve, once by military doctor and second by Schmidt.

Poor Erskine, his family was taken as hostages.

Howards says "carefully open the casing". Steve does smash instead.

Oh no, Red Skull said that weapon can always be taken from you so you have to become the weapon. It echoes the sentiment behind the creation of Iron Man too closely.

Lol, Roosevelt ASKED for Howard PERSONALLY.

"Car is bulletproof!" "and a convertible!" is a funny joke xD

Lol he has bulletproof car because of cigarette's girls angry boyfriends.

Ok, so Howard joined SSR because he HAD BEST FUN IN MONTHS.

Howard has rockets in car and "leaves best toys for himself".

First Steve saves a Nazi from a tank, now he obliterates them with said tank. Pick a side, Steve. I know guy in the armor was helpless, but c'mon. You either don't kill or kill. You cannot just willy nilly choose. BTW does it echo saving Iron Man or smth?

Call back to floating car by a joke about floating tank.

Aw, no, Erskine's family died in concentration camp from typhus. (Those camps were awful, but are not shown in the comics. You better believe that they weren’t very nice places to live even without being overworked and killed by the Nazis).

Oh no, Bucky was nearly killed by SSman! But Howling Commandos stopped him.

Bucky doesn't like his name lol. Also no Jimmy nickname for this guy.

Ok so Howard Stark was based on Hughes and Tony was based on someone Howard hated - Oppenheimer.

Ok, now Phillips made a foreshadowing for Cradle in the AoU. It even looks similar to Project Rebirth.

Oho my theory that Erskine heard Bucky talk to Steve and that doctor knew Steve lied is proved in this comics. They knew, they had a file on him and Erskine just picked him, saving his stupid ass from consequences.

Cap just threw a knife.

IRON MAN 2:

In the comics it looks more as if Obadiah sold Vanko instead of Howard, because Howard looks so surprised at what Vanko did, that it is impossible to assume that he was the one who sent the agents after Vanko. He looks surprised at the whole incident, Vanko betraying him and agents being there to apprehend him. One agent acts as if it was Howard's idea all along, but that line could be also read as just informing a bystander that they will deal with the issue instead.

Tony projected a drone which could clean whole desert full of mines with 100% accuracy and 0% detonation.

Also comics confirm that Tony cannot even have 12h break without Howard coming at him and demanding him to work when he is just a goddamn teenager.

Tony was just fighting for 19h, got a shower and has to go out again.

"If I hear of another innocent being put in a harm's way just to advance some pointless military agenda... there will be consequences" sounds like call back to Hulk.

Hm, Tony made 12 people work on one job? Also Natasha hates being called Nat and she drugged Samantha (the actual PA which applied for Stark Industries) to take her place.

 [As of now those comics confirmed to me that Captain America joined army out of selfish reasons and that Tony was overworking himself as Iron Man and when he wasn't he was either partying, probably to relax in that way, or making new tech which saves lives.]

Lol, Coulson was so excited to look for Captain. Nick even made a joke about finding his fav action figure.

Lol, World Security Council wanted to get Tony's weapons and nearly fired Fury for trying to make Avengers.

Fury is like Tony. He hates his superiors. He will do as they say but won't stop doing what he does.

Lol, Fury got a call Tony will be dead and he jumped out of his goddamn bed asap.

Fury was actively stopping Stern from getting Iron Man by scheduling his meeting with Department of Defense "when Stern is busy" xD

Lol Fury says no to Ross before he hears what he wants. This is so funny.

Ok, so Fury got Lithium Dioxide for Tony, asked if it could be made into permanent cure, how sweet of him, but also learned that it could INSTANTLY KILL HIM instead and still made Natasha basically inject Tony with it WITHOUT CONSENT! So I dunno if he really cared about him when he asked about permanent cure or it was just more optimal for his plans. Also he got the cure during Tony's and Rhodey's battle at the mansion, so we cannot say he had a cure and didn't give it right away when he could.

"Don't blow your cover unless Stark is going to kill himself". Hm. So he wants him alive.

And yeah, he ordered Natasha to stick him with lithium dioxide when he distracted him.

Lol, Fury yelled at Coulson for letting Tony leave the mansion xD

THOR??? (I got lost in my notes, I didn’t write which comic was which)

LOL CLINT CANNOT EVEN TAKE VACATION. Also the speed with which he responded to possible alien crashsite, epic. He jumped and went as if it was Christmas, aww Clint.

Why Clint is giving money back to some store which suffered due to their operation? I mean it was nice and all, but who will give the money back to Clint? Fury?

So it was Hawkeye's idea to let Thor loose.

In the meantime Loki was on scene and tried to get Mjolnir but it didn't respond.

AVENGERS PRELUDE:

Oho, poor Fury, didn't sleep in a few days.

Oho, Fury yelled at Natasha.

"Do not let Ross take Banner, dead or alive". How cute of you, Nick, to confirm that you do not care.

Blonsky is suicidal. Going at Hulk and kicking him in the face? That's a death wish.

Ah so Blonsky is enhanced.

Hahaha, joke about lifting a hammer but applied to the Asgardian sentinel, lol.

Ross literally accessed SHIELD databases.

Natasha was raised in Stalingrad lol.

After seeing Hulk, Abomination and The Leader Natasha finally says it is too much to handle for SHIELD.

Oho, so making Tony finish Howard's project was an objective, not saving his life. He wanted it for Tesseract.

I dunno if he is lying or really was doing this whole shit for the Tesseract. Also points for sticking in WSC's face that Ross nearly destroyed New York thanks to them.

Shield has whiplash suit and it's arc reactor!

THEY ACTIVATED THE SENTINEL AND THEN THEY WANT TO DISMANTLE IT AND MAKE DOZENS SMALL ONES!

Huh, implication that Natasha may beat the whole bunker of SHIELD agents up, because they're men, lol.

So Selvig used the element Stark invented to kick-start the Tesseract after all.

"Good for a laugh from time to time" lol. Clint the comedian.

Why that machine holding a Tesseract looks like Arc Reactor?

Huh so Selvig was Loki and he made a comment about Tony being strange for "badassium".

BLACK WIDOW BACKGROUND IN ONE OF THE COMICS, DUNNO WHICH:

Natasha talks about her cover personalities like vtubers about their avatars.

Fjodorov knows something about stolen bootleg technology of Tony Stark which he managed to acquire?

Natasha really likes narrating her story. Time slows when you have a training? Like roller coaster on first ridge?

"With some small regret, I bid farewell to Tatiana. She's outlived her usefulness" thinks Natasha after she took off her wig and no longer plays Tatiana. "If she were real. She'd be dead". "It's nice though, to pretend while it lasts... that I was ever as innocent as her".

Natasha really likes playing those roles.

Haha, Natasha holds one mission over Coulson's head forever even though he never failed as her control again.

"Part of the reason why I am so good at the undercover work is that I actually like being other people. There is a lot I've done that I regret. When I leave that other identity behind, whether I slip out from underneath it voluntarily or it's ripped away from my grasp, it always hits me like a shock. Like being awakened from a deep sleep, back to who I really am". "It's good to be home". Is she speaking about her slip into Black Widow again as home or is she referring to Russia?

Natasha left a guy dangling from a building and said it could be worse, he could be naked.

"Good man" says Natasha as if she was training guys to obey her will.

Oho, Natasha is interested in someone who wants to be her.

Also she is narrating that police in Russia would not suspect Tatiana to be so resourceful.

Natasha wants to save that girl from herself, because nobody did that for her when she was in the same position.

I mean, Natasha killed some people that day already so I don't get the point of her not killing those guys and saying that she changed, when in the club she killed a few of the goons already and later too. Where is the point of her change if she kills anyway? What is this change about Black Widow - Natasha Romanoff if she kills people but just not always? She cannot claim to change for the better just because she didn't kill two goons. And Sofia should see that not killing all of them doesn't mean she doesn't kill at all. But I guess leaving so many alive still counts for Sofia as Natasha going soft.

Coulson, you idiot, I am happy you came to save Natasha, but Sofia thought those guys were Natasha's back up. It all wouldn't happen if not for you making them appear there. You fucked up everything for Natasha, Coulson.

Uh, Natasha has the same weird shtick Tony does. She blames herself for the decision of her superior? Yeah, she enabled him to make that decision, but it was still his decision to send those men to find Natasha, so their death is on him, not on Natasha.

Huh, so Natasha's model persona Konn feels empty when nobody looks at her, because her whole life was being the centre of attention? It's kind of sexist cover.

She is a hand model and this guy is disgusting. Natasha I agree with those YUCK.

Natasha doing tehee is so weird.

Also playing a "he sent me here so hours would fly by" is so gross, but inner Natasha voice says nothing yet.

Lol the guy just assumed she is stupid, because she made tehee sounds. Like, goddammit, men are so easy to fool. Condescending little creep indeed.

Ok, so Natasha doesn't have any computer knowledge to say what those lines of code are, but she knows Stark can.

Ugh, Natasha, that line about telling his friends that they did something he imagines is so not feminist of you. It just enables creeps like that to objectify women more and treat them like idiots and fucktoys.

Sofia killed the agent even when Natasha gave her what she wanted.

Natasha wants to save lives and often fails at it too.

She jumped off the yacht to save the guy even though she knew he is dead? I mean shot in the head usually means instant death.

She doesn't get lines of code but can upload tracking device on it. Good. Also she wanna kill Sofia now.

"When I go in for the kill, there's no one I'd rather be than who I really am".

Ah so they had a targeting software for the copy of the Jericho missile manufactured by Hammer.

So they were moving Jericho in parts around the world. They should be happy Tony didn't notice. (Because then they would all just go boom and be dead lol).

"Berserk bots a girl's best friends!"

Frampton wants to have space tourism.

Ten Rings again.

Why Frampton wants to strike Korean DMZ?

Aha, global destabilisation for Ten Rings, gotcha.

Oho, so the info about Natasha busting the trafficking ring comes back. It turns out she accidentally trapped the girls inside when she busted the place. She basically says she didn't know they were there but even if she did she wasn't nice back then.

So Natasha says that Sofia was more her than she ever was, meaning the Black Widow, meaning that Natasha always had softness in her which Sofia didn't have and that Sofia got her just reward for wanting to be the perfect Black Widow.

Still sexist move to make a victim of sex trafficking ring become a morally corrupt murderer who would destabilise world for free if she could, but does that for money, because money is nice addition to her new hobby of fucking humanity up.

"Some people are not worth saving" Not so long ago plenty would say that about me".

AVENGERS:

Oho Stark Tower is the first fully clean-energy powered skyscraper.

Pepper thinks inside the box and Tony thinks outside the box.

Oh, so Tony still says that Rhodey had stolen the suit, but then he admits that it could give him heart attack, because it was not calibrated for him, so I wonder if he really wanted Rhodey to have it or never wanted Rhodey to have it at all.

"I got them to agree that all starktech remains proprietary to you as long as War Machine is on loan to the department of defense".

Lol wow, War Machine was an insult? Anyway he means that Rhodey won't be using Mark II because Tony has new suit for him.

"I am not Iron Man" people yell Iron Man at Rhodey "Ah, forget it" xD

How is Tony saying that he couldn't find anything to go after Gulmira when he was literally busting Ten Rings in Iron Man 2 tie-in comic?

Hahaha, Rhodey wanna get a publicist so people would recognise he is War Machine, not Iron Man.

Rhodey is so vicious. "I could have taken your hand with it but not doing it is more fun".

Oho so Tony THREE MONTHS after Tony was putting S on Stark Tower there is Battle of New York and Rhodey is in Hong Kong.

Incoming call: Martini, seriously? You call Tony MARTINI?

Also for some reason this Tony has blue eyes.

Rhodey is so cocky lol. "I haven't seen anything that can take me down".

"When am i gonna learn to keep my mouth shut?" xDDD Rhodey cursed himself.

So after Iron Man 2 Tony realised that he couldn't be iron solder alone anymore and made Rhodey an armor? Still, trust was a huge factor here.

Lol did he just make a joke about being so beat up as after clubbing with Tony to a commanding officer? Rhodey, you vicious little shit lol xD

"Battle tank that's about to make me street pizza! But only if I stand and take it, which I have never done in my life". That's useful info. It gives me some insight into who was protecting who at MIT. Rhodey never was taking a crap of other people, so he probably was used to fighting bullies. And I can imagine him standing up to bullies who targeted a kid - Tony Stark.

Rhodey chooses to fight smarts with smarts.

DID HE JUST MAKE HIS WAY OF LANDING A FRIGGIN MISSILE STYLE? XD

His commander asks if he is crazy. He definitely friggin is lol.

Rhodey just gave his superior a scare when he let a tank run him over. They thought he died.

OMG Ten Rings assumed War Machine is easier target to get tech from and Rhodey feels offended, but happy they know who he is.

Rings had stark tech in that tank, oh no. Tony will be pissed even if those are old black market stuff.

AWWW RHODEY WAS WORRIED ABOUT TONY WHEN HE DIDN'T RESPOND!

"Don't do this to me, man". "Holy...! That was SOME situation" says Rhodey when he saw chitauri flying whale dead. Ok so Avengers met Rhodey in that shawarma place.

Pepper decorates according to feng shui?

So Ten Rings scanned Rhodey's armor with any scanner available and collected a lot of data on the armor anyway.

#mcu critical #mcu #steve rogers critical #mcu comics #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #thor #rhodey #hawkeye #avengers

[artificialqueens]

2003 (1/2) (Vanique) - Ortega

a/n: VANIQUE MUST RIIIIIIISE!!!! ayo team, welcome to this. i pulled this ship from virtually nowhere when i was writing n19f and people seemed to like i as much as i did, so i wrote these two together for the fic challenge. i’ve split this fic into two halves, as they’re two very different vibes. this part follows Vanessa and Monique as they go through primary school and then start their first couple years at high school, so it’s definitely more platonic than anything else but it’s cute! also overall this was inspired by two songs, one being 2003 by Todrick and the other being I Choose You by Kiana Ledé which will be the title of the next part, so look out for that. i so so sosososo hope u enjoy, bc i highkey love this pairing a lot. lots of lo-ove, by-ee!

tw: implied child neglect and drug use

summary: Vanessa Mateo and Monique Heart start school in the year 2003. They love girlbands, superheroes and football, and they’re best friends forever. At least, that’s the plan.

***

The room smells of squeaky floors and play-dough. It’s not like anything she’s ever smelt before, but it’s weirdly comforting. She’s sat on a carpet patterned with all kinds of fruit. It doesn’t have pineapple (which is her favourite), but that’s okay. The walls are covered in colourful paper, an arts-and-crafts rainbow explosion. There’s words too, different curly and spiky shapes making letters. She knows one has a “V” in it because that comes at the start of her name and it looks the same, but she can’t read any of the writing yet. Some of the kids in nursery could already read and one of the boys could even write stories. Vanessa couldn’t. She still can’t, but that’s okay. She can write her name and say please and thank you in two different languages and she knows how to count up to 12 (she gets stuck after that, but she’ll learn the rest).

She looks around the carpet. There’s a girl nearby her with two huge black plaits and huge brown eyes to match. Her skin is dark, and Vanessa feels comforted by the fact she’s not alone in sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Snow Whites and Cinderellas and Auroras and their matching porcelain-skinned Disney princes that are sitting on the carpet with her. She scratches her head, feeling the bow her Mama tied in dark her hair shift. She hopes she’s not made a mess of it. Then Mama would be mad.

Her teacher’s been talking for a while now. It seems like she’s been talking for two hours. Maybe she has been talking for two hours. Vanessa looks up at the clock, even though she doesn’t know how to tell the time yet so the information is less than useless to her. Bored, her eyes drift towards the girl she was looking at before. She’s wearing a white polo shirt and a red pinafore, and her white socks have got red bows on them. Vanessa is jealous. Her new jumper with the school logo is scratchy on the inside and she told her Mama that her leggings have a hole at the knee but they can’t get any new ones until she gets paid.

She bum-shuffles across to sit beside the girl, keeps her eyes trained on the teacher like a sniper as she leans in and whispers. “You look like a princess.”

The girl gives her a big smile. Vanessa knows she should say thank you, but maybe she doesn’t know as much about manners as Vanessa does. The girl whispers to her. “You look like Meg from Hercules.”

Vanessa smiles at her. She’s seen Hercules- it’s not her favourite, but she’s seen it- and Meg was her favourite character. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. There’s a pause before she hisses to her again. “My name’s Monique, what’s yours?”

“I’m Vanessa,” she replies quietly. Vanessa picks at the hole in her leggings. It’s now about the size of a 1p coin. She knows about coins, at least. “Hey, you wanna play princesses at playtime?”

Monique nods excitedly, then whips her head around, scared. Vanessa looks up at her teacher. Her eyebrows are almost joined-up and there’s little lines on her forehead and her eyes have gone all hard. Vanessa knows this means she’s feeling cross.

“Vanessa, Monique! It’s rude to talk while someone else is talking. We don’t do that in school.”

Vanessa knows she should nod, but her stomach feels all fizzy and she finds herself frowning at her teacher instead. Monique says sorry. Maybe Vanessa should say sorry too. She decides she doesn’t want to.

“She’s been talking for about 5 hours. Maybe even 4 years,” Vanessa whispers to Monique again. Monique covers her mouth with her hands and lets out a tiny giggle. Their teacher gives them a suspicious look again and Monique shuffles away from Vanessa. Vanessa knows this means she doesn’t want to get into trouble. As soon as the teacher starts talking again, Vanessa hisses over to her.

“Monique!”

No answer. “Monique!”

Monique turns around a little bit to face her. “What?”

Vanessa cups her mouth with her hands so the girl can hear her. “Do you want to be best friends?”

Monique gives her another big smile. It makes Vanessa feel happy too. “Okay!”

She’s only been here for five hours, maybe even four years, and she’s already made a best friend. This school thing is easy.

***

It’s the two of them for life. Vanessa just knows it. They’re BFFAEAE (best friends forever and ever and ever). They get in trouble for chatting at school and their long-suffering teacher monitors them like a hawk. They’re banned from sitting near each other on the carpet because even when Vanessa tries to listen (even if it’s P.E., her favourite), she’ll think of something funny she just has to share with Monique, and of course Monique is incapable of laughing quietly so she lets out a screech that completely disrupts the whole lesson and earns them both five minutes off their reward time. Vanessa doesn’t even mind losing reward time. They sit at the same table while everyone else plays and they write out the class rules, but Vanessa doesn’t mind because it’s the only time they’ll ever be allowed to sit together in class.

In the playground and after school it’s a different story. In Reception they play princesses and animal rescue with their threadbare, well-loved stuffed animals they sneak into school in their schoolbags. By Year 1 they’re popstars learning dance routines and designing album covers and falling out because Monique wants to call their double-act The Strawberry Babies and Vanessa knows that obviously The Starlights is a far superior name. In the Summer between Year 1 and Year 2 Vanessa’s Mama takes them to the cinema to see Fantastic Four and so for the whole of Year 2 they’re obsessed with superheroes, rolling around on the tarmac play-fighting with each other and getting bruised knees and scraped elbows and so far removed from the girly girls they were when they started school.

Vanessa knows everything about Monique and Monique knows everything about her, because that’s what it means to be best friends. Vanessa knows that Monique’s brother is eleven and goes to Big School and doesn’t play with her and slams his door and plays rap music that Monique can hear when she’s in her room with the door closed. Monique stays in the high flats with her brother and her gran.

“Do you have a Mama?” Vanessa remembers asking her one day in the playground, drawing in the dirt with sticks.

Monique’s voice had been quiet. She hadn’t looked up from drawing in the dirt. “Uh-huh.”    

“Where is she?”

Monique had shrugged, scribbled out the happy face she’d drawn. “Gran says she’s not allowed to see us any more.”

Vanessa could tell talking about her Mama had made Monique sad, so they don’t talk about that any more. Dads are off the table too. Vanessa doesn’t know hers and Monique doesn’t either. Vanessa doesn’t really need a Dad. Her Mama works in the supermarket and keeps their tiny pebbledashed council house in the estate spotlessly clean and is always on time to pick Vanessa up from school. She drags Vanessa kicking and screaming to mass every Sunday (Vanessa doesn’t like it because all the chanting scares her) and threatens her with El Coco until she’s blue in the face. Monique goes to church too but hers sounds more fun- they laugh and clap and sing their hearts out. Monique sings the songs in school. Vanessa thinks she sounds like she could be in the Sugababes, not that she’s allowed to listen to the Sugababes.

Monique comes round to Vanessa’s house every few weeks or so. She lives close, and Monique is allowed to walk round on her own. Vanessa is jealous of that. She wishes her Mama would let her go places on her own. She tells her that one day and Mama howls with laughter, says she’s not allowed out on her own until she’s at least twenty-one. Vanessa thinks she’s joking. Thinks.

Vanessa gets excited when Monique visits because she knows her Mama will make an effort with the dinner. That’s unfair and disrespectful, she knows; Mama works hard to put food on the table, but her stuffed arepas are just better than rice and beans (and microwave meals if it’s near her pay day, which her Mama makes Vanessa promise she’ll never tell her Abuela they eat). They sit and eat with their bowls on their laps on the sofa in front of the TV and watch The Weakest Link. They sometimes get the questions right even though they’re only 7 and the people on the show are fully-grown adults. Monique is smart, though. Smarter than Vanessa. Vanessa thinks she’s smarter than their teacher. She’s the best at writing in the class and the best at maths too, and she can read any word at all.

Vanessa’s not that smart, but she knows Monique is, and she thinks she’s amazing.

It’s a grey-clouded day in July in the Summer of 2007 when Monique pulls up outside Vanessa’s house on a brand new bike. It’s blue and the seat is close to the ground and the spokes are all shiny. Vanessa runs out to see her, sticks her feet in between the bars of the rusty iron gate at the front of their house and swings back and forth as Monique talks.

“My brother got me it. Someone from the skatepark didn’t want it any more and it’s too small for him, so I guess it’s mine now,” Monique shrugs happily. There’s a smudge of dirt on her face that Vanessa knows her Mama will wipe off with a hot cloth if she sees it. “It’s kinda big for me but it works okay. You got a bike, right?”

Vanessa cringes, thinks about the pink bike with streamers at the handles that lives in their back garden and is probably crumbling away with rust. “I got one, but it ain’t as cool as yours.”

Monique smiles, satisfied with the compliment. “Well, go get it an’ we can go for a ride.”

Vanessa blushes and thinks of how many cool points she’s going to lose when she tells Monique that she has to ask her Mama first. Monique laughs at her good-humouredly, sticks her tongue out at her and calls her a baby. Monique turned 9 two months ago and Vanessa has to wait four more to catch up with her, so the comment stings but she pretends it doesn’t.

To her surprise and delight, her Mama lets her go out on her bike with Monique but only if they just go round the estate and they’re back before dinner time. Vanessa has never been able to follow the rules, though, so when Monique tells her she knows a place by the river under the bridge with a scrub of sand like it’s the seaside then Vanessa doesn’t hesitate to follow her. Vanessa wonders how Monique seems to know the city so well: she takes her on a journey through dark underpasses with yellow strip lights and bright scrawls of graffiti, narrow bridges above busy roads that Vanessa tries to pretend don’t scare her, secret little paths through the big park Vanessa goes to with her Mama sometimes. They pedal wildly and everything zooms by so quickly that even though she has no idea where she is, Vanessa feels safe. Any vaguely scary things they see (big dogs) are gone a second later, and Vanessa knows Monique would protect her if anything scary did happen. She would protect her too. That’s just what best friends do.

They arrive at the place Monique had been talking about. The brown stone bridge hangs high above them but Vanessa can still hear the cars on it pass by. They’re drowned out slightly by the babbling of the river, inky and cold and black with jaggy rocks underneath its surface. There’s huge clusters of boulders that they both have to climb over to get to the sand and they have to leave their bikes leaning against the wall on the path. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s still a little bit magical. It has the aura of adventure rather than beauty and they’d be more likely to discover pirates here than fairies, which is just how Vanessa likes it. Together they chuck stones into the water haphazardly, their hands growing more grubby by the minute and the dirt black under their nails.

“What’s that?” Vanessa narrows her eyes, reaches down to pick up the object she’s spotted. It’s embedded in the sand and she can’t really see what it is, but it looks like what she got her injections with at the doctor’s. Monique races over to see what she’s talking about and pushes her hand away quickly. Vanessa snaps. “Hey!”

“You’re not s'posed to touch that, it’s dangerous!” Monique cries, outraged. “What if you got stabbed?”

Vanessa snorts a laugh. “It’s ain’t a knife, M'nique, it’s only a stupid needle."

Then, almost as if Monique’s warning had been a dare, Vanessa picks it out the sand with her thumb and index finger, holds it by the plastic tube. Monique’s face falls. "Stop it, ‘Ness, that’s creepy.”

Vanessa laughs, starts making the needle float about while making spooky noises. Monique takes a step back, her face all panicked. Vanessa gives a giggle. Monique’s acting like a scaredy-cat; she does that sometimes and it’s funny to wind her up. She usually takes it well but she’s growing more distressed than she usually does. Her eyes are all wide and Vanessa stops playing the moment she sees tears start welling up in them. She immediately drops the needle into the river and crosses over to her, her trainers leaving huge Nike ticks in the sand.

“Hey, what’s the matter? I’m sorry,” she mumbles. She regrets joking around now, and Monique is wiping at her eyes and sniffing and smearing dirt across her face.

“They used to be all ‘round my house before we lived with Gran,” she sniffs. Vanessa gets a churning feeling in her tummy. She doesn’t really know what that means, but it makes her feel frightened just hearing about it. She can’t imagine how frightened Monique felt seeing them for real. Slipping the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, she gives Monique a hug, pats her back in the hope it’s comforting.

“I threw it in the river. Don’t worry. You don’t need to see it ever again,” Vanessa says. She’s not Monique, she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, but Monique is the closest thing to a sister she has and she wants to keep her safe. Monique is smiling at her when she steps out of the hug, and Vanessa feels relieved.

“An’ if it does come back we’ll just stab it before it can stab us first!” Monique jokes. It’s a silly joke but Vanessa still bursts out laughing.

“We’ll stab it with a stick!” she joins in, and soon the two girls are laughing and anything vaguely threatening has been forgotten about.

They end up cycling a lot that Summer, Monique showing Vanessa all sorts of hidden places all round the city. Vanessa never feels freer than when she’s racing around on dirt paths behind her best friend, and worries are a distant memory. Vanessa’s life is good and she has a lot of things to be thankful for but she knows she looks different and doesn’t fit in, she knows there’s a lot of things that the other kids have that she doesn’t, she knows that there are times when her Mama sits up at night time with her bills spilling out across the kitchen table and a calculator in her hand. Monique is a bright smile and a sense of adventure and she makes Vanessa feel happy.

They don’t go out on their bikes as much when they go back to school after the holidays. Year 4 flies by almost as quick as they used to cycle, as does Year 5. They don’t pretend as much in the playground anymore, preferring to run riot on the astroturf with the boys in their class and play football and get bruises on their shins from being tackled to within an inch of their life. Not much changes by Year 6; their last year of primary school when they should be responsible and conscientious and yet they’re still getting in trouble for giggling in class and playing pranks on the other kids and whispering swear words in Spanish (that one is Vanessa’s fault).

They’ve only got a month left of primary school and Vanessa’s allowed to walk home with Monique now as long as she keeps her phone on loud and texts her Mama to tell her if they’re stopping by the park or the snack van. Today is one of those days. They’re sat underneath the huge cherry blossom tree at the park; Vanessa wants to climb it but Monique’s saying that’s too babyish. They’re too old for that now, so they’re bluetoothing each other Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz songs and blaring them at full volume out of their tinny phone speakers instead. Vanessa’s about to show Monique a parody somebody’s made of You’re Beautiful by James Blunt when Monique breaks the not-quite-silence.

“You gotta crush on anyone?”

Vanessa wrinkles her face up, snorts a laugh. “Ew! Nah. All the boys in our class are gross. I ain’t ever had a crush on any of ‘em.”

Monique gives a quiet laugh. “Me neither. They all use that Lynx Africa like it’s gonna cover up their B.O.”

Vanessa lets out a howl of laughter. She wasn’t lying to Monique; she doesn’t have a crush on anyone. If she thinks about it, she’s never really had a crush on any of the boys in her class. It’s just not something she thinks about. She cares more about her best friend than she’d ever care about any boy.

Their laughter dies down, and Vanessa gets a knot in her stomach. It happens every so often when she thinks about high school. Their class went up to see the school last week and it felt like such a terrifying maze of identical-looking corridors and crowds of kids so old they looked to be mini adults. Their teacher had told them to write down three friends they wanted to be in the same form class as, even though she said she couldn’t guarantee they’d get to stay together. Vanessa had written only one name on her form- Monique Heart - in her curly, barely-legible handwriting, the “i”s dotted with hearts. It’s been on her mind ever since, though. They’ve been together since Reception, Monique is all Vanessa knows. She wouldn’t begin to know how to make any other friends. She doesn’t want any other friends.

“M’nique,” Vanessa says, and the other girl looks up. “What happens if we ain’t in the same form class next year?”

Monique gives a small, humoured laugh. “Well then we ain’t in the same form class.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and shoves her. “Duh, idiot! I mean like…with us. We still gon’ be best friends?”

Monique laughs dismissively, shakes her head at her. “Now who’s being the idiot?”

“I’m serious!” Vanessa objects, annoyed that Monique’s still got her eyebrows raised at her like she’s a little kid. She’s going to be 12 in October; it’s not like she’s a baby. “What if you find other cool girls to hang out with? What if you get a new best friend? What am I gonna do?”

“You’re gonna do nothing, cuz that ain’t gonna happen,” Monique insists. Her face lights up as she gets an idea, jabs a finger against the tree trunk. “Okay. If I carve our initials into this tree, it’ll be like a promise. That we’re always gonna be best friends. I don’t want to hang out with cool girls. It’s fun just me an’ you.”

Vanessa smiles, her heart feeling all warm at the reassurance. Monique rummages around in her bag and produces her keys, starts stabbing at the bark of the tree relentlessly. Vanessa flinches a little, part of the reaction a residual memory from watching Pocahontas too much when she was really little; she used to believe that trees could feel things like humans. She shares the memory with Monique who doesn’t laugh at her, even though she probably has every right to.

“Well humans feel things an’ they get tattoos. So this is like a tattoo for a tree,” she shrugs. She’s chipped a big capital M in the bumpy bark so far and is starting on an H.

“Hey, you think we should get matching tattoos when we’re grown ups?” Vanessa suggests, the idea exciting her. Monique frowns as she drags her key over the wood.

“Don’t they use needles for that?”

Vanessa regrets the idea as soon as Monique says it; she’d forgotten about her friend’s fear. She decides to commit to the idea. “They do, but they’re all clean an’ safe. An’ you wouldn’t have to be scared cuz I’d go with you.”

Monique nods as she starts on Vanessa’s name. “I never feel scared when I’m with you. Except when Mrs Del Rio yells at us.”

“She’s a big baby. She just hates us cuz we would be better teachers than her,” Vanessa shrugs. It’s true.

“Well, what tattoo are we gonna get? We need to decide now so we can start saving up for it,” Monique questions her. Vanessa scoffs.

“How much do you think a tattoo costs? It’s like ten pounds, God!"

It’s Monique’s turn to laugh. "Nah, it’s way more than that! My brother’s got one and his cost a hundred and fifty.”

Vanessa lets out an outraged screech. “That’s a damn lie! You’re gonna go to the bad fire if you keep tellin’ lies like that.”

“An’ you’re gonna go to the bad fire cuz you just cussed.”

“Well, see you down there,” Vanessa shrugs. She considers Monique’s question. “What about we get BFFs in cool writing?”

Monique nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! With a heart maybe.”

“Yeah!” Vanessa agrees, excited about the prospect of their matching tattoos. She Googles “when can i get a tatoo” (spelling’s never been her strong suit) and lets out a groan at what she reads. “Ugh. We have to wait seven whole years.”

“You have to wait seven years, I only have to wait six!” Monique boasts, Vanessa sighing. She hates being one of the youngest in the class. She doesn’t have time to feel down for long though, as Monique shows her her handiwork with a flourish; MH + VM, scratched into the tree forever. “There! Best friends forever.”

Vanessa feels as if her smile is going to break her face. It feels like her body is made of the sun’s rays. When Monique says that, high school doesn’t seem so scary any more.

“Where we gonna get these tattoos anyway?” Monique speaks again. Vanessa’s smile turns wicked and she can barely get her thoughts out without laughing.

“Imagine we get them on our butt!”

Vanessa thinks Monique’s Gran might be able to her them screeching with laughter from the top floor of her tower block.

***

Things change though, despite the promise they make. Monique doesn’t think either of them mean to break it but life gets in the way and God has other plans. It’s what she believes at least.

Though she doesn’t know what his plan was for separating her from her best friend. Monique cries for forty-five solid minutes when she receives the letter telling her what form class she’s in; she knows it’s different to Vanessa’s. Her Gran holds her tight and rocks her against her chest on the sofa while her brother yells at her to shut up and slams his bedroom door. Her Gran is full of comforting words: you’re a strong girl, and you’ve been through worse in your life than this, and this isn’t going to change a single thing, hush now. But it is going to change things. When she’s with Vanessa, Monique feels like she can take on the world. She brings out her confident side when she feels shy, matches every shriek with a screech, takes her mind off the fact that she lives in a shoebox fourteen storeys high in the air where the elevator doesn’t work and the stairwell smells like piss. She can’t imagine starting high school without her. She doesn’t want to imagine it.

Monique batters out of the flat despite her Gran shouting after her, dashes down the stairs like her life depends on it. Her heart feels ready to give out when she reaches the lobby and bursts out into the open air but she still unchains her bike from the rack outside, pedals madly to Vanessa’s house. The bike is too small for her now and it’s uncomfortable to ride but it’s all she has to get her to the person that matters most. She reaches the house and Vanessa’s Mama lets her in, and Monique takes the stairs up to Vanessa’s bedroom two at a time where they hold each other tight and bundle up in Vanessa’s duvet and sob and sob and sob.

But looking back, Monique knows she’d been a little dramatic that day. Not being in the same form class as Vanessa really is not the end of the world. They walk there together on their first day and give each other a tight, nervous hug before they each head to their own form rooms. Monique pushes down on the doorhandle and anxiety fills her body as she walks in, freezes at the doorframe. There’s about twenty other kids already in the room and the whole scene is a bit chaotic. There are two boys chucking a ball to each other across the classroom, some girls with hair in high ponytails screeching and playing Katy Perry out of their phone speakers. Even though Monique has sat through countless interviews with social workers, child psychologists and police officers, this is one of the scariest experiences of her life.

“Hey. You wanna sit with us?”

Monique’s eyes fall on a table of girls with skin just like hers and hair to match. Monique instantly feels 80% more reassured; she’s never seen a classroom with a colour palette like this in her life. She and Vanessa had been the only two girls in their year at primary whose skin colour had deviated from the sea of pink or almost-translucent. There’s one girl who fits that mold at the table with the others, and Monique thinks it’s funny that she’s got pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes and still happens to be the odd one out.

The girls take her under their wing that first day, and the next, and the next. They’ve all gone to a different primary school from Monique and so are already closer than close, but they never make her feel like an outsider. Asia with the sleek, black hair that tumbles down her back has a sweet smile and explains all the in-jokes that Monique doesn’t understand. Antonia, the girl who invited Monique to sit with them, has an intimidating face and a skinny frame but a kind heart and always shares her snack and pens with her. Roberta- Bob- has a huge untameable afro and personality to match, and her cousin Monét isn’t dissimilar apart from the fact that her hair is wavy and caramel instead of jet black and curly. They bicker with each other and gossip about their teachers and make Monique laugh when she’s down. And Brianna is kind and caring and is always able to put a smile on Monique’s face.

Before long, it seems like Monique has made five new friends without even having to try. She wishes she could say she’s friends with Vanessa like she always used to be, but that would be lying.

Because Vanessa’s made friends too. They’re the girls Monique’s Gran always warned her about- friends with the devil and they’ll lead you on a path straight to him. Akeria and Silky make a reputation for themselves at high school within a week of the year beginning. They mess about in class, text during lessons, Silky starts fights with other girls in the corridors that her victims never have the balls to finish. Akeria flirts with the boys and the rumours say she’s had her first kiss already. They backchat teachers and keep cans of spray paint in their bags and walk along the train tracks to the depot after school to spray their wobbly initials on the side of freight trains.

But despite the fact they don’t hang out as much in person any more, that doesn’t diminish the light that Monique keeps burning in her heart for Vanessa. They bump into each other in corridors and chat excitedly in the five minutes they have between lessons, smile and wave at each other from across the lunch hall, and they still text each other and walk there and back from school together. Well, until just after the start of Year 8. Vanessa starts getting a lift from Akeria’s Mum in the mornings and hanging out at the shopping centre with her and Silky after school. It’s not her fault, and Monique supposes she’s no better- Monét lives on Monique’s route to school so the two of them start walking together instead, and after school the girls often go to the chicken shop in town and shovel down wings to make up for the disgusting school lunches.

By her second year of high school it’s almost like Monique has a new best friend.

But she doesn’t want to think like that, so she’s overjoyed when it gets to the start of Summer, just before the last term of their second year ends, and Vanessa’s texts change from general small-talk chit-chat to an invitation to have a sleepover at her house at the weekend. Monique feels embarrassing levels of excitement as she texts back confirming she’ll be there.

M: Are your other friends gonna be there??

V: nah just me n u

And it is just her and Vanessa. It’s a gorgeously sunny day and Vanessa’s Mama puts up a tent in the garden that they can camp out in. It’s nice to be back with her, talking and giggling and laughing about stupid stuff. Vanessa laughs uproariously as she tells Monique about Silky and Akeria’s latest exploits and Monique listens nervously, anxious just hearing about them.

“Do you join in when they do stuff like that?” Monique asks her, after a story about how Silky signed her name in the same Sharpie she does her eyebrows with on a toilet cubicle door and got detention. Vanessa shakes her head, smiles bashfully.

“Nah. I tell ‘em it’s good to keep someone onside in case we get into trouble. The teachers’ll let us away with more if they like one of us. 'Least that’s my excuse,” she explains. Monique smiles, reassured.

“I didn’t think you were like them,” she says, relieved. She thinks Vanessa narrows her eyes at her, but she blinks and her expression has changed. Vanessa’s started wearing makeup and it suits her, even though her foundation is maybe a little off-colour. The mascara she’s swept onto her lashes opens up her eyes a little more and lets Monique see the twinkle that seems to be permanently shining in them.

She is so pretty, and Monique wishes she could look like her.

They talk as if nothing has changed over dinner, various barbecued meats grilled on a disposable barbecue Vanessa’s Mama got from her work. Monique has never had a barbecue before and she decides that burgers charred to within an inch of their lives are the best thing she’s ever eaten. They make smores from chocolate digestives and marshmallows for dessert and Monique howls with laughter as the chocolate and marshmallow melt down half Vanessa’s hand and she licks it off as her Mama rolls her eyes, goes to find her a hot cloth and mutters in Spanish that Monique doesn’t understand but knows is long-suffering. She has almost forgotten the way Vanessa can make her belly laugh just by acting the fool. Monique has spent two whole years not even knowing how much she’s missed her friend, too distracted by her new ones.

When it’s time to go to sleep they both cosy up under Vanessa’s duvet that’s been dragged outside and a sleeping bag each under that. Every available pillow and cushion in the house has been utilised in lieu of a blow-up mattress but the set-up is still comfortable, even though it’s pitch-black both in the tent and outside. It might be the end of June but it’s still cold once the sun goes down, and Vanessa has shuffled up near to Monique in a bid to try and keep warm. Vanessa being so close makes Monique feel warm on the inside as well as the outside.

“Hey, you know that rumour about Akeria kissing Dean from Year 9?” Monique pipes up, interested. “Is that true?”

Vanessa rolls onto her tummy to face Monique, and her eyes are sparkling with mischief even in the dark. It makes Monique’s stomach do a flip. “Yeah. They did it at the food court after school one day. You wanna know what else?”

Vanessa’s face is so full of glee that Monique can’t help but nod in anticipation. She’s almost in fits of laughter as she tries to get the secret out. “He tried to get her to touch his…you know!”

Monique lets out a screech that is equal parts horrified and amused as Vanessa dissolves into giggles too. “GROSS! Did she do it?”

“Ew! What do you think? Of course she didn’t. That shit’s nasty.”

There’s a pause in which Vanessa lets out a few more giggles. Monique doesn’t. She’s silent. She’s thinking.

“I wonder what it’s like.”

Vanessa’s voice is loud in the silence of the night. “What? Touching a boy’s-”

“No, idiot!” Monique laughs, explaining herself. “Kissing someone. Wonder if it’s as nice as people say it is.”

Vanessa falls quiet as well. Monique wonders what she’s thinking. She decides to break the silence. “You ever kissed a boy?”

Vanessa lets out a snort. “Come on, M’nique, you know I ain’t.”

“No I don’t!” Monique protests, her voice dropping to a murmur as she feels herself pout while she speaks. “I feel like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”

They both fall silent, and there’s a shift in the atmosphere that Monique can’t quite put her finger on. Vanessa lets out a sudden giggle.

“What?” Monique asks awkwardly, unsure if she’s meant to be in on the joke or the butt of it.

Vanessa’s face is scheming. She laughs a little, buries her face in her pillow before she speaks. “You know we could practise?”

Monique is slow on the uptake at first. “Practise? Practise what?”

She realises as Vanessa lifts her head and gives another giggle. Monique lets out a screech, takes the pillow from underneath her head and thumps her friend with it. “Ew, Vanessa! Ew, ew, ew! You’re so weird!”

“Oh, c’mon! I don’t wanna go kiss a boy and then be really bad at it, then he’s tell his friends and they’d tell their friends and then the whole school would think I’m shit!” Vanessa insists. Monique’s heart gives a very loud thud as Vanessa inches her face close to Monique. She’s not taken her makeup off and her mascara is all smudged around her eyes like makeshift eyeliner. She looks really pretty.

Monique shoves her away back onto the pillows. “I ain’t doin’ that shit with you! Ask Akeria since she’s so experienced.”

“But I don’t wanna practise with Kiki! I wanna practise with you!” Vanessa says matter-of-factly. Monique’s stomach gives another churn. Something is different, something has changed. Monique isn’t sure what it is or what to make of it.

“Well, tough shit. We ain’t…practising,” Monique huffs, turning her back to Vanessa and letting her eyes burn holes in the flimsy tent walls.

Vanessa’s voice comes from her side of the tent. “Fine! But if they call you…shit, I don’t know…Washing-Machine Mouth Monique…don’t say I never warned you!”

Monique lets out another huff, squeezes her eyes shut and wills herself to sleep. She feels weird. Her heart is going too fast and her stomach feels fizzy and it takes her a moment to realise her face has gone all hot.

“M’nique?” Vanessa’s voice comes from the darkness. She ignores it. “You mad at me?”

She sighs, rolls her eyes even though she knows Vanessa can’t see. “No.”

“Okay,” Vanessa says. Her voice is soft, and she rolls over onto her side. She rests her head against Monique’s back and puts an arm around her. They hug all the time, but this one feels different. It’s nice, though, and Monique feels warm and safe. “I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much. You know. Like we did in primary.”

“I’m sorry too,” Monique sighs, bringing a hand up to pat Vanessa on the arm. She ends up simply leaving it there.

“Hey, we should hang out more in the Summer! You know you can always come round to mine,” Vanessa continues.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Monique murmurs, letting out a heavy sigh. She’s not lying- it would be nice. She knows she could never have friends back to her flat because they don’t have the space and besides, most of them wouldn’t even want to set foot in the high rise anyway. Monét’s parents are doctors and Asia’s Dad is a barrister and her Mum is a lawyer, and Bob’s parents work in something accountant-y, and they all live in big houses with sweeping paved driveways and garages and gardens the size of the Emirates stadium. Granted Antonia’s Mum and Dad both work two jobs to pay the rent and Brianna’s Dad is a dustbin man while her Mum stays at home to look after her baby sister, but at least their families are happy ones. Monique has never known the luxury of a fancy house or a private garden or a car or a perfect, cookie-cutter family. She wonders if she ever will.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by Vanessa giving her a gentle squeeze, cuddling closer. She didn’t think it would be possible but she somehow manages it, and Monique isn’t complaining. “G'night, M'nique.”

Monique is too tired to think any more. Vanessa’s arms feel comforting around her, and she chooses to settle in them. “Night, 'Ness.”

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #2003 #vanique #vanessa vanjie mateo #monique heart #best friends to girlfriends #lesbian au #high school au #fic challenge #diversity fic #s10 #black girl magic fic #tw mentions of implied child neglect #tw brief mentions of drug use

[cinemavariety]

Cinema Variety’s Top Favorite Films of 2019

To quote Principal Duvall from the 2004 teen comedy classic Mean Girls: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners, and that I couldn’t be happier the year is ending” 2019 was both a super difficult year personally, but even more so, I feel as if it was one of the weakest years for cinema in recent memory. Thankfully the last few months of the year have made up for it with a surplus of absolutely incredible cinematic experiences, many of which are reflected in this year’s rankings. I present to you my favorite films of 2019. Check out my rankings from previous years by checking out the links below:

Top Picks of 2018 List Top Picks of 2017 List Top Picks of 2016 List Top Picks of 2015 List Top Picks of 2014 List Top Picks of 2013 List

Honorable Mentions: Midsommar Uncut Gems Parasite 3 From Hell The Death and Life of John F. Donavan **THIS LIST IS IN ORDER AND CONTAINS SOME MILD SPOILERS**

#16 - Ready or Not Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ready or Not looked entertaining enough from the trailers, but it certainly wasn’t anything I was dying to go see. Especially in a movie theatre. However my brother convinced me to go with him and it ended up being one of the most consistently fun and entertaining theatrical experiences of 2019.

There were a lot of similar plot elements to the brilliant 2013 horror film - You’re Next (which by the way is one of my favorites). The plot is about a young girl, who grew up an orphan, marrying into an insanely wealthy family. The family has a tradition of playing a game on the wedding night, and she ends up choosing a game of hide and seek. Unbeknownst to the bride, the family is actually planning to hunt her down and murder her in order to perform some type of satanic ritual.     

Horror comedies only work for me about half the time, but his film has enough graphic violence and intense situations to counterbalance all of the humor throughout. They complemented each other well and the result was a super funny and super bloody cat and mouse hunt of social classes.

#15 - Doctor Sleep Directed by Mike Flanagan

Helming the sequel to The Shining is no easy undertaking whatsoever. Kubrick’s arthouse horror masterpiece will forever remain not only one of my favorite of his films, but also as one of my favorite genre pieces in general. I was immediately relieved when I discovered that Mike Flanagan signed on to direct the adaptation of Stephen King’s sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I already knew beforehand that Doctor Sleep was more of a fantasy story than a direct horror, and also wasn’t one of the most popular of King’s works. The film ended up being a pretty epic fantasy thriller. Flanagan excels in creating his own universe while also honoring the source material, as well as paying homage to Kubrick’s film. However, it shines more when it does its own thing instead of trying to be nostalgia porn.

Most of the film worked for me, some of it didn’t. The recasting of Jack Torrance’s character left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Ewan McGregor does a great job as the recovering Danny but it is really Rebecca Ferguson who steals the show with her villain character Rose the Hat.

Doctor Sleep proves that Flanagan has become one of the most consistent horror directors working in the industry. There’s always a pulse to be discovered in the foundations of his storytelling.

#14 - High Life Directed by Claire Denis

Claire Denis, one of the most polarizing French auteurs, debuted her first English language film in 2019 with High Life. I had the pleasure of seeing the film on a big screen, and even though I felt a little underwhelmed as an initial reaction to the finale, the film seemed to linger in my subconscious like a haunting unresolved dream. It held up even better on a re-watch, which you can view for free if you have Amazon Prime.

It’s definitely unlike any space film that I have ever seen. The premise surrounds a group of prisoners on death row who are sent to the farthest depths of space on a doomed voyage. All of the occupants are corralled by Juliette Binoche’s character, who plays some type of mad space scientist, is obsessed with collecting their semen in order to create new life in the abyss of the cosmos.

High Life is a slow burn, often minimalist film, which relies more heavily on atmosphere/score/visuals than it does on dialogue or forced plot elements. It’s bewilderingly nihilistic in how it depicts human behavior gone horribly awry. Robert Pattinson gives an understated performance and seems to provide the only glimmer of what seems to be hope by the end of the film.

#13 - Too Old to Die Young Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. Hate seems to seep out of the cracks of every neon-soaked frame in the limited series. Amazon gave Refn free reigns in creating his phantasmagoria.

All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series.

I won’t lie, I found it to be some of Refn’s most challenging work to date. There are so many aspects to be found within this series that went over my head, it is art that demands a re-watch. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#12 - Age Out Directed by A.J. Edwards

A.J. Edwards returned in 2019 with his sophomore directorial effort - Age Out (originally titled Friday’s Child). Edwards has served as one of many creatives who worked on the editing team of Terrence Malick’s films in the last decade. Malick’s influence on the director is quite noticeable. Edwards directed his first film in 2014, The Better Angels, which was a decent debut. Whereas The Better Angels oftentimes felt too close of a mimicry of Malick’s style, Age Out utilizes certain aspects of the style while also allowing Edwards to have his own authorial voice.

The film centers around a young man named Richie as he is about to “age out” of the foster care facility in which he was raised - a frightening reality for countless youth in America and around the world. Richie is left to navigate the difficulties of the adult world at a mere eighteen years old, without any family or parental figures to help him along the way. He makes friends with a seedy townie who revels in delinquency and causing ruckus. Also, there is a romantic subplot between Richie and a girl named Joan, portrayed tenderly by Imogen Poots. This relationship seems to be the only saving grace in Richie’s life. However, a turn of events soon reveal that Richie’s traumatic past has gotten the better of him and threatens to doom his entire future.

Edwards shoots the film in a boxed style with a 1.33 : 1 aspect ratio. This aids with the sense of claustrophobia and paranoia that invades Richie’s life. As aforementioned, many of Malick’s motifs are used here: a floating steadicam guiding the audience along, hushed dialogue, montages with classical music, and even some voice overs. However, this aesthetic isn’t heavy handed in any way. In fact, it’s a joy to see directors whose work can almost go into the Malick canon as the auteur has had such an influence on a lot of young, upcoming directors. Age Out is both a coming of age story and a cry of warning for unhealed trauma.

#11 - An Elephant Sitting Still Directed by Hu Bo

An Elephant Sitting Still now holds the spot as the longest running film that I have ever seen. It sits in at just under four hours, and it completely delivers without ever feeling like it drags on unnecessarily. The film technically premiered in 2018 and is considered a 2018 film among critic circles. However, the epic didn’t get a widespread distribution in the U.S. until this year, so I am overlooking this discrepancy. The film was marked with somewhat of a controversy after the director Hu Bo took his own life right after post production was completed. Hu Bo is an author turned director and An Elephant Sitting Still marks his first foray into cinema. It’s one of the best directorial debuts I have ever seen.

The film centers around four different characters during the span of a single day. All of these characters are marked with some sort of tragedy, and many of their stories intertwine in a synchronistic fashion. It reminded me of other masterpieces such an Inarittu’s Amores Perros or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. The film takes place in the industrial regions of Northern China, and the barren landscapes reflect an inner emptiness that emanates from all the characters.

There is a hollowness to these people as they navigate through life. An Elephant Sitting Still is nothing short of nihilistic. It’s an angry, desperate and hauntingly beautiful cry of pain from a director who was most certainly haunted by his own inner demons. It manages to be both an odyssey of human cruelty and a swan song from a young man who didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

#10 - Joker Directed by Todd Phillips

“It’s getting crazier out there, isn’t it?” These are some of the first lines to be uttered in Todd Philip’s pitch-black satire on society. These lines are what best exemplify the themes that Philip’s was pushing: our society is profoundly sick, everything seems to be getting worse, we have no saviors in sight and hope isn’t always on the horizon. Just from these first utterances, it is clear that Philips is taking all of the political and socioeconomic turmoil of the last four years and has created a problem child that is Joker.

Joaquin Phoenix turns in one of his most disturbed and flawless performances yet - which is no surprise. However, I have yet to see him embody a character so genuinely as he did in The Master. But this isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson, this is Todd Phillips. And the fact that the comedy director even created this piece of art is something that still has me scratching my head. Subtlety is never at play in the film, and there are quite a few plot points that are a little too on-the-nose, even for me. However, all of the other elements redeem it and make this one of the best films of the year. The cinematography is pleasing for the eyes, and the menacing cello scores echoes an existential loneliness that I felt permeate my very being.

The last thirty minutes are exactly what I was hoping from this film. It’s a breath of fresh air to see Hollywood actually stick to creating a nihilistic film that doesn’t once try to water itself down.

#9 - Luce Directed by Julius Onah

Director Julius Onah decided to really step up his game with his latest film Luce. After the dumpster fire that was The Cloverfield Paradox (seriously, thanks for completely ruining what was becoming a dope anthology franchise), Onah has proven that he can be a master of his craft with the proper source material. In regards to the story being told, every element of the film works to its advantage: editing, performances, direction, and most importantly - the screenplay. It’s one of most well written screenplays I have come across in 2019. I immediately could tell from the dialogue that this movie must have been adapted from a stage play, and sure enough upon searching, I found out it was. Not all stage adaptations work, in fact I’d say more than half don’t end up being too effective, but this one stuck its landing and then more.

The story revolves around an overly concerned teacher who contacts Luce’s parents after he writes a paper that comes off as threatening. The paper in question seemed to hold a sentiment in which violence was called for in order to overcome colonialism. It’s important to note that Luce was a child soldier in his native country before being adopted by his parents - played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth who both gave stunning performances. The rest of the story is an investigation into who their son actually is, which eventually results in moral debates regarding race and identity.

Luce is also a film that effectively helps the audience empathize with the main character, while at the same time questioning whether his intentions are genuine, or a coy to hide something much darker. The truth isn’t always black and white, and this was my biggest takeaway from the movie.

#8 - Monos Directed by Alejandro Landes

Monos felt like a hybrid of elements inspired from great works such as Lord of the Flies, Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Apocalypse Now. This is only the third film to be directed by Alejandro Landes, however it looks and feels as if it was created by a seasoned veteran of the industry.

A group of children guerilla soldiers hold base on a mountaintop where they keep a hostage, watch over a prized cow, and act as a defensive force against an unbeknownst group of enemies. There is little to no exposition in the film. Landes drops the audience off right in the middle of the chaos.

We aren’t exactly sure what these children are risking their lives to fight for, or why they are doing it, but it goes to show the conditions in which they were raised for them to find normalcy in the violent lifestyle of a guerilla soldier. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous, and there are even a few scenes where I questioned how they accomplished such shots/stunts with a low budget.

#7 - The Beach Bum Directed by Harmony Korine

The Beach Bum might not be the best film that Harmony Korine has directed (it’s certainly no Spring Breakers), but it is easily the most fun. It’s been almost seven long years since Korine’s last project, and I had been waiting in eager anticipation to see what he would do next. He was originally going to do a gangster crime drama called The Trap, which is what I was really hoping from Korine, but that fell through and he ended up making one of the best stoner comedies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

The Beach Bum is probably Korine’s most accessible and audience-friendly film he’s ever done. I say that lightly though, because it still remains just as highly divisive as his other work. The plot is loose. It follows the misadventures and antics of Moondog, a washed up poet and complete burnout. He is soon sent to rehab for all of his illegal activities, in which he breaks out with the help of Zac Efron’s character, who might have just been my favorite character of the film. Korine seems to have a consistently solid knack to create dirty, seedy and absolutely enthralling characters.

I am really happy that he decided to keep a very similar visual aesthetic to his previous masterpiece, Spring Breakers. Benoit Debie, who is the king of neon lighting and discombobulating camerawork, does a masterful job at creating the textured and visual world of The Beach Bum. Hell, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I decided to see it twice on the big screen.

I’m not the biggest fan of comedies, mostly because I have a very bizarre sense of humor and find most of them to be completely hollow. But Korine’s darkly nihilistic sense of humor suits my sensibilities perfectly and I found myself laughing out loud at various points throughout The Beach Bum. It’s a fun, and even slightly endearing film at certain points thanks to the presence of Isla Fisher’s character as the wife. I look forward to whatever Korine decides to do next. At this point, who knows where he will decide to go with his career. I just hope I don’t have to wait another five plus years to see more of his work.

#6 - A Hidden Life Directed by Terrence Malick

Malick isn’t “back” - he never left. A Hidden Life isn’t a “return to form”. His form has always been there, it’s been evolving since The Tree of Life. In fact, the structure and flow of this film is extremely reminiscent of his past three films.

How far are you willing to walk the path of righteousness, even when the path is marred with pain and unanswered sufferings? How long are you able to cling to your faith when it feels like all hope is lost? How do you fight for what is good, when everyone around you is telling you to submit to forces of absolute evil? These are some of just many questions explored in Terrence Malick’s newest tour de force. As with many of Malick’s recent work, these aren’t questions that are necessarily outright answered during the film. They are instead questions of morality meant to be repeated throughout the story, almost like a mantra or an ode to pure faith.

A Hidden Life is Malick’s first return to chronological and narrative-driven filmmaking since The New World. It has garnered praise almost universally among critics, and is regarded as his best film in ten years since The Tree of Life. While I am in the few who don’t exactly agree that this is Malick’s best film in a decade, I might even dare say that it is among my least favorites of Malick’s recent output, I am still not denying the sublime mastery instilled in every single shot of this film.

A Hidden Life tells the noble true story of Franz Jagerstatter, an Austrian conscientious objector, who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War II due to his religious beliefs and is eventually executed for it. He is decades later deemed a martyr by the Church - all the more telling as to why Malick decided to tackle this story. The heart of this story is told through letters that Franz and his wife Fani exchange throughout his period spent as a political prisoner. Fani seems to be one of the only people in Franz’s life who sticks by his side. No matter how soul crushing Franz’s decision is for Fani, she understands him well enough to know that death is a better option than spoiling your soul and humanity. “Better to suffer injustices than to do it,” as one character painfully states in the film. And while I wasn’t as emotionally wrecked as I thought I would be by this film, I instead feel inspired by Franz’s commitment to his innate goodness. The back and forth perspectives of Franz and Fani are well executed -  we as an audience get reprieves from the dreary confines of a prison cell to the majestic grandeur of the Austrian mountainside. The mountains and surrounding nature are characters within themselves. Near the finale, as Franz is face to face with his mortality, his mind wanders back to riding his motorcycle through the village on a sunny day as the mountains loom in the background. These are the final desires of a doomed man, something as simple as having the freedom to go outside and feel the grass beneath his feet - to experience the wonders of nature that most people don’t think twice about.

As mentioned earlier, it is far from my favorite of Malick’s oeuvre, and is not without its slight misgivings. It was stated that this was Malick’s return to “narratively focused” filmmaking. But he still utilized his signature elliptical style, and for me these moods oftentimes clashed and kept me at a distance emotionally. I rarely say this with a Malick film, but more of a reliance on dialogue would have worked wonders for me. There are quite a few sequences in which Malick opted for montage instead of a more fleshed out scene, which I believe would have further added to the power of the story.

These are all slight issues, and I myself might be a harsher critic than most simply because I hold Malick to such a high standard. Once you can give yourself to the film, A Hidden Life becomes a true zen experience. It managed to instill a sense of serene presence within myself. I felt very grateful for the most basic and common details of my life and this world. Malick’s work can be such a sensorial rush, and making even mundane objects and rooms look absolutely gorgeous, that it’s as if “everything is shining” in my own life after seeing the film. I look forward to returning to The Church of Malick very soon.

#5 - Ad Astra Directed by James Gray

Ad Astra got a lot of unwarranted hate this year in my opinion. It truly is a shame because I believe that James Gray has struck gold once again. While I don’t adore it to the same degree as I did Gray’s previous feature, The Lost City of Z, Ad Astra succeeds in being one of the most understated space films made in the 21st century.

It’s not exactly a wholly original story, or a plot that is something that we haven’t seen before. It’s the way Gray goes about telling this story and exploring these themes that makes it so very special. It’s not forcing any overreaching philosophical or ethical message onto the viewer, it’s not overly complicated or overly long, and rather than trying to present completely senseless physical explanations to the audience, it just accepts the fiction aspect as “science fiction”.

Hoyte Van Hoytema is a brilliant Director of Photography and he crafts some of the most breathtaking space shots in recent memory. He really captures the breathtaking enormity of the cosmis abyss. The scenes that take place near Nepture during the finale are jaw dropping. We see two characters wrestling each other while suspended midair and the camera pulls out to reveal their absolutely terrifying ordeal while splashes of Neptune’s purple color emanates behind them. What I enjoyed most about the film is this sort of serene, zen atmosphere that Gray creates through the visuals, the score and Brad Pitt’s heartfelt but quietly somber voiceover.

Pitt portrays a lonely, broken and existentially conflicted astronaut. He finds the quiet infinitude of space to be a reprieve from the chaos of conflict happening down on Earth. He feels more at home among the stars than he does on the planet in which he was born. His perspective reminds me of the blue God from Watchmen, Doctor Manhattan, when he’s dwelling peacefully on Mars and laments his feelings toward Earth and all the people on it: “I am tired of Earth. These People. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.”

James Gray’s Ad Astra, much like his previous two films before this, detail the pains and tribulations of undaunted pioneers as they explore foreign territories. The final monologue of Pitt’s washed over me like a gentle breeze: “I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burders, as they share mine. I will live and love.”

#4 - Anima Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Interprative dance, experimental film, and visual albums are three of my absolutely favorite art forms. The real MVP of modern cinema, Paul Thomas Anderson, has collaborated with one of the real MVP’s of modern music, Thom Yorke, to create a fifteen minute long music video on the power of human connection.

Thom Yorke plays a sleepy commuter, a passive bystander, a human sheep, a functioning cog in some great machinery. He makes brief eye contact with a pretty woman on the train, and notices that she leaves behind a briefcase. The rest of the short details his efforts as he dodges through obstacle after obstacle trying to find the woman and return the briefcase to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Anderson concocts the innermost desires of being seen, understood, and loved. The results are strokes of flashing light projections on concrete walls, bodies undulating as they separate and conjoin simultaneously, giddy humans running through fog, and lovers meeting in the union of hearts.

The final section, Dawn Chorus, is one of the most gentle and blissful experiences I have ever witnessed, let alone one in a film distributed by Netflix. Paul Thomas Anderson and Thom Yorke’s project had me understanding why I fell in love with this medium in the first place.

#3 - 1917 Directed by Sam Mendes

1917 takes the spot as my favorite war film of the decade. Personally, I found it to be one of the best war films ever made in general. What director Sam Mendes and DOP Roger Deakins have created is nothing short of a miracle. It’s the first “single take” war film to ever be made, mainly because this is a feat that is far from easy to pull off. Mendes and Deakins shot the movie in extreme long takes, and spliced them all together to make the whole movie come off as a seamless single take. These tracking shots never leave the side of the characters, we are in their footsteps on the journey the entire time.

1917 has a pretty simple premise: two young British soldiers are given a near impossible mission to cross enemy territory and deliver a message that will stop a deadly attack on over 1,500 soldiers - one of them being the brother of one of the two soldiers sent on the mission. The familial aspect contributes added emotional gravitas to the plot overall.

1917 is more of an experiential war film than it is a action or battle focused war film. It’s best to be seen in an IMAX because the sound design and the invasive tracking shots make you feel as if you are walking along these two soldiers as they face grave perils on their quest to deliver the message. I very much so enjoyed that they kept the plot small and intimate, without resorting to constant firepower to keep the audience engaged. That isn’t too say that the movie doesn’t have more than enough of its fair share of nail biting action sequences, and also plenty of gruesome shots depicting the carnage that World War I brought. These soldiers have to army crawl over rotting corpses, while rats and crows are seen pecking and chewing through the remains. The filmmaker doesn’t turn a blind eye to the horrors that war produced. To me, this is one of many reasons why I believe 1917 is superior to other popular recent war films such as Dunkirk. I don’t want my war films to be sanitized. War needs to be portrayed as it truly is - acts of complete inhumanity.

Dare I say that 1917 is Come and See for the 21st century. While Come and See is most definitely the superior film, there were echoes of the classic Soviet Union masterpiece that ring throughout 1917. Maybe it’s the expertly crafted tracking shots, maybe it’s the maddening use of sound design/editing, or maybe it’s the shell shocked expression that is engraved on one of the main characters faces near the finale.

1917 does an amazing job of being very loud, but also utilizing silence in certain scenes to great affect. The juxtaposition is most expertly crafted during one scene that involved flares popping off in the sky, lighting up the ruins of a city, as one the characters runs away from enemy fire. It’s an absolutely exhilarating scene. I ended up bawling by the end of the movie, mostly just because of all the pent up anxiety and distress I felt throughout. You don’t see many films that take place during World War I anymore. But 1917 shows it is not a time period to be forgotten about.

#2 - The Lighthouse Directed by Robert Eggers

I had been eagerly anticipating Robert Eggers’s follow-up film after he released The VVitch back in 2016. At first it was reported that he was going to be doing an adaptation of Nosferatu, which I still think would be a great story for Egger’s to adapt, especially after witnessing what he instead decided to make - The Lighthouse.

Shot gorgeously in black & white on gritty 16mm celluloid, the film looks like it comes from a completely different era (the dialogue as well). There were many shots that had a similar look to some of Bergman’s early work on the Faroe islands.

The Lighthouse has a fairly simple plot. Robert Pattinson plays Winslow who goes to work for a seasoned lighthouse keeper named Thomas who is played by Willem Dafoe. Winslow is new to being a wickie and Thomas takes him under his wing to show him the ropes. Thomas orders him about incessantly in a brute and abusive manner.

There is a minimalism to the plot, however all of the other elements are done so perfectly that the daily grueling routines of these wickies becomes nothing short of hypnotizing. The sound design and score ratchets up the harsh conditions of the island. Wind sounds like its constantly shrieking outside - a reminder of the unease that seems to be building to an overflow. The dialogue, diction, and accents are all completely authentic to the time period and setting that the story is taking place in. Eggers commitment is second to none when it come to detail and authenticity with aspects such as the character’s accents and inflections. A real case of cabin fever befalls the two men who both seem to become obsessed with the mystical light that emanates at the top of the light house.

While I really enjoyed The VVItch, I absolutely adored The Lighthouse and find it to be a much stronger work from Eggers. I think what I vibed with most about it is that the movie doesn’t feel the need to be confined to one particular genre. Whereas The VVitch was literally about a witch bringing misery to a Puritan family, it was constricted to be somewhat of a horror film. However, The Lighthouse manages to be many different tones: a fever dream surrealist film, an arthouse horror, a slapstick comedy, and a nautical retelling of many ancient sea myths. And all of these different tones worked together and bounced off each other in perfect harmony.

I found myself both laughing and completely repulsed by the images I was seeing - especially within the last act of the film which succeeded in shaking me up and making me feel both bewildered and slightly nauseated. It ends up being a gritty, dirty, and uncompromising journey into total psychosis. By the conclusion of the film, the audience comes to the same realization as the two characters - there really was enchantment in the light after all.

#1 - Waves Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Waves is an operatic cry for people to be better to one another. It is by far my favorite film of the year, and I truly believe it to be one of the finest films ever made. It earned itself a well deserved spot in my Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade.

Trey Edward Shults started out his cinematic career on a strong note with Krisha. He delivered once again with his sophomore debut - It Comes at Night (even if I do find it to be easily the weakest of out the three he has directed). But for me, Waves is where Shults really experiments with his style to such a fine tuned degree that we find the director not calming down his vision or becoming more “grounded”, instead he expands upon his prowess with one of the most powerful family dramas I’ve ever seen.

Shults is another director who made my list this year who is somewhat of a protege of Terrence Malick. Shults worked as an intern for Malick on both The Tree of Life and Voyage of Time. It is quite clear the influence that Malick has on Shult’s vision. But Shults, even more-so than Edwards who also made my list this year, has taken Malick’s inspiration and created something wholly his own.

Shults has created an experiential rollercoaster of actions, consequences and the toxic fallout than can come from such actions. Waves is essentially two films in one. The first half is the energetic, chaotic and traumatic first half in its depiction of toxic masculinity taken too far, to the eventual accident that changes all of the characters lives. The camera is constantly floating in this portion, or shall I even say flying through the air and around the characters. The camera has no limits in what it can do and that along with the editing, and most noticeably the insanely perfect soundtrack/score, this portion ends up feeling like one prolonged anxiety attack.

The second half of the film switches character POVs masterfully. There’s a psychedelic shift of perspective from the brother’s eyes covered in flashing lights from the back of a police car to his little sister’s eyes in the back of their parent’s car (you have to have seen the film to completely understand what I am referring to of course). This second half of the film is where the camera slows down a little. This portion is more character focused and less interested in being flashy through its aesthetic. We get more dialogue, more character details, and a lot more tears in this half. It’s like a long cathartic release after experiencing an hour of trauma and abuse. It succeeds in tearing you apart, to only slowly piece you back together.

As mentioned previously, Shults’s soundtrack decisions were the cherry on top for me. Tame Impala, Animal Collective & Tyler the Creator are three of my favorite artists and their music is utilized perfectly within the story. What made this film so special to me, other than the fact it all takes place in the state in which I grew up in, was that no other film has better reminded me of my own humanity in years. This film makes me want to be a better brother, a better friend, a better son, and a better person in general. You never know when a single moment can shatter your entire world. In the end, it left me with a strong message that struck me to my core: appreciate what you have in life, and tread carefully.

#waves #trey edward shults #krisha #it comes at night #favorite films of 2019 #top favorite films of 2019 #2019 film #2019 ranked #the lighthouse #robert eggers #willem dafoe #robert pattinson #the witch #1917 #sam mendes #roger deakins #world war i #anima #paul thomas anderson #thom yorke #radiohead #ad astra #james gray #brad pitt #the lost city of z #terrence malick #a hidden life #the tree of life #the new world #the beach bum

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m staying (6)

The quicker pace of his heart

Book: The Royal Romance, Book 2

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez (and....maybe another pairing? 😇 🤫)

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and a VERY steamy scene. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: about 4,500

Notes: This picks up much where we left off, during the first evening at the cabin, as Leo arrives, starting with Leo’s POV.

*****

‘Come on in,’ Drake says enthusiastically, which Leo instantly reads as fake. Drake grabs the whiskey bottle from him and sets it down on the table. ‘Make yourself at home, Leo, we were just about to have some cocktails. You hungry?’

Leo shakes his head and then smells the delicious aroma of steak. ‘Um, maybe? What you got?’

Drake smiles, ‘Steak. I have a leftover one, the ladies shared a steak. Can I make you a plate?’

Leo smiles broadly. ‘Sure, thank you, that sounds great.’

He walks into the cabin and nods. He hasn’t seen it in years, not since they were in their early twenties and came here for the occasional guys’ night grilling and drinking beer. Tonight, the vibe is different. First, there are ladies present, which he’s definitely not complaining about, but also, Drake is different. But how, Leo can’t exactly put his finger on it.

‘Good to see you, Leo,’ Amara says as she greets him with a smile and a glass. ‘I’m making whiskey sours, want one?’

He nods and inches closer to her. ‘What did I do to deserve being greeted by such an enchanting woman, AND cocktails?’

Amara chuckles. ‘Don’t get too excited. It’s whiskey and sour mix.’

God, she’s snarky. But hot. He could get behind that, but something tells him she’s not interested. Perhaps even not available. Now it’s his mission to find out more.

The petite Asian woman takes a glass from Amara. He forgets her name. Anna? Ella? Oh well. She is hot as hell, in a shy kind of way, but according to Liam, she plays for the other team. Too bad.

‘Oh, Drake, can I use your bathroom really quickly? It was a long drive from the Capital, and I had a fucking truckload of coffee.’

Drake yells out from the kitchen. ‘Um, yeah, it’s upstairs. Straight ahead.’

Leo scans the room one more time before heading upstairs. Everyone is super silent, even Maxwell, who is usually chattier than a little girl. Clearly, his presence is unwanted.

Upstairs, he heads to the bathroom right away, looks around a bit. Some toiletry bags. These guys are staying overnight for sure. After pretending to flush, he peeks into the three rooms. He doesn’t have time for much more, but he sees that Drake’s is clearly bare, no luggage in sight. He frowns. He could have sworn there was something between him and Amara. That look on his face during the Decision Ball, those fucking tears… Maybe it was just concern for a friend, but Drake doesn’t make friends that quickly.

As he walks down the stairs, he thinks about how unfair it all is for his little brother. Stuck in a loveless engagement, with very little support, while all his so-called friends are partying together in a commoner family’s cabin. Liam plays strong, he tells him that Drake still supports him and talking to him helped, but Leo knows better. He left his little brother in what he thought were good hands, and now he comes back to a shitshow. That’s not right.

*****

‘What do you mean a bar fight?’ Leo asks incredulously.

Amara rolls her eyes. ‘Come on, Max, that’s a gross exaggeration. An asshole insulted Hana, Liv, and I, and Michael was very chivalrous and punched a guy for us.’

‘Michael, you mean...you?’ Leo points at Michael who bursts out laughing.

They had been chatting for a couple of hours, and everyone had relaxed a bit, which Amara was grateful for. She had taken care of the evidence upstairs, and she suspects that Leo isn’t bright enough to dig any deeper than the surface anyways. He showed his cards pretty clearly when he pretended to need the bathroom as soon as he arrived, and it had eased her mind a bit. Even though, of course, it means that he was here to dig dirt indeed. Is he sent by Liam? Probably not. Given the grief he had given Drake at the Ball, about his supposed debt to Liam, he was probably here in an ill-concealed attempt to protect his brother.

She gets that, of course. But his protectiveness would have a lot more impact if the current situation wasn’t directly caused by his actions. After all, he was the OG Madeleine fiancé, and his abdication resulted in Liam’s increased responsibility.

Still, she feels badly for Liam, and she still intends to help him break his engagement. If only they could find Tariq quickly enough…

‘So, Amara, I heard that you won’t talk to the press?’ Leo asks without a transition.

Amara frowns. ‘Well, I didn’t know that you were here to talk shop, Leo. I thought you were just here to eat Drake’s steak and drink my cocktails.’

Leo pauses and shoots her an annoyed look, before changing his demeanor completely and bursting into a very fake laughter. ‘We got ourselves a fiery one!’ He exclaims.

Ew, she thinks. This is indeed the seed of Constantine, all entitlement and condescension. ‘Well, I can answer your question,’ she responds. ‘I’ll talk to the press when we’re about to go on tour. I don’t feel like I owe anyone an explanation at the moment, and I’m taking a well-deserved break from all the shit that’s been thrown at me, and at my friends lately. Is that alright with you?’

She didn’t mean for it to come out so aggressively. She really didn’t. But she couldn’t help it. She makes a conscious effort to maintain eye contact with Leo, and to not lock eyes with any of her friends, not right now.

Leo takes a sip of his whiskey and a deep breath. ‘I get it. My brother told me that those pictures were staged, and for what it’s worth, I think a lot of people were suspicious of that. You’re a favorite in the Cordonian press, and a lot of people support you.’

Amara swallows hard. She didn’t expect him to go this route. ‘Oh. Thank you. I didn’t mean to be defensive, I—‘

Leo holds out a hand. ‘No no, I know. It’s natural to be defensive in this particular case. All I wanted to say is, you should talk to the press. They can surprise you.’ He takes another sip. ‘Hell, if they’re still kind to me after the shit I pulled, there’s no way they would reject a loveable knockout like yourself.’

Amara forces a smile. At least it’s semi-nice and just a little skeevy.

*****

Leo walks in the kitchen and hands Drake his plate. ‘Thanks bro, it was delicious. And thank you for the hospitality.’

Drake smiles as he takes the dirty plate. ‘Of course. I’m glad you came. It’s been fun.’

Leo nods. He wishes he could just ask him what he wants to know, and be done with it. He’s not stealthy, that’s not him. His mom used to call him her little bull in the china shop, always putting his foot in his mouth. He chooses to view it as a quality, but right here, right now, he’s not sure.

The worst part is, he genuinely likes Drake. They had such good times together when they were younger, and he was always a brother to Liam, moreso than Leo was himself. Maybe he’s just pissed that Drake has thrown in the towel a bit, forcing him to cut in again and face his responsibilities as an older brother. Maybe it’s just that.

Or maybe it pisses him off that the one woman his brother was interested in doesn’t seem interested at all, and now Liam is stuck with the same bitch Leo was stuck with in the first place. Maybe he’s pissed that, against all odds, the royals get the short end of the stick while the commoners have their fun in their country homes.

Or maybe he just wants to get to the bottom of this, dammit. He would never go to his brother to tell him that he’s suspicious about Drake and Amara, no. That would break his heart, and without proof, it would be useless.

But if he does see anything incriminating...maybe that would help Liam move on?

Oh well. Next time. They’re gonna be stuck on a train for a while, all together, kind of like an Agatha Christie novel.

‘I’m gonna head out,’ Leo says calmly. ‘But bro, I just wanna say, I’m worried about Li. He’s not well. I’d appreciate it if you joined my efforts to lift his spirits, on the tour.’

Drake nods. ‘Of course. Liam and I talked yesterday, and I agree with you, he’s not doing well. I’ll do what I can.’

Leo pats Drake’s shoulder. ‘Great. I also hope this one over there—‘ he gestures at Amara from afar— ‘changes her mind. Liam is pretty smitten, to the point that he wants to give her a fucking duchy. Would be nice if she got off her high horse.’

*****

Drake bites his lip. His instincts yell at him to go to bat for his Amara, but he knows he would fuck them both over if he revealed too much. So, he bites his lip a little harder, and he nods. ‘Well, can’t force her to like him, Leo.’

Leo shrugs. ‘I know, I know. No one is saying that. But if she spent a bit more time with him, maybe she’d change her mind, it’s all I’m saying.’

Drake plasters on a fake smile, which he’s never really done before, and he’s sure his face looks like a deflated balloon. ‘It’s their business, yeah,’ he says awkwardly.

Shit, he thinks, hopefully he didn’t fuck it all up with one awkward moment. Amara has been doing so well all evening, even when she got a little defensive, she pulled it off. Hana, Max, and Michael have been champs ever since they had all gathered around cocktails, but he was definitely the weakest link. Leo knows him well, and he’s pretty sure he picked up on the tension.

Leo walks back into the living room and holds out his arms to Maxwell. ‘I’m gonna get going, I have an early breakfast with my Father. See you on tour, Maxxie?’

He hugs everyone, even Michael whom he barely talked to, and when Amara’s turn comes, Drake has to squeeze his fist really tight to relieve some of the tension and annoyance it brings to him.

‘Alright brother,’ Leo says to Drake as he pulls him in for a bear hug. ‘Thanks for everything and see you soon.’

They all continue to fake it for a little longer, until Leo’s headlights are seen driving away. Then, a collective sigh resounds.

‘Holy fucking shitballs,’ Michael exhales.

‘I second that sentiment,’ Hana adds.

Amara starts giggling uncontrollably. ‘Guys, that was awful. What the hell is our life now? We’re dodging very bad spies from the Royal family?’ She continues to chuckle.

Michael joins in on the laughter. ‘When I tell my coworkers, they won’t believe me, that’s for sure.’

Amara closes the distance between herself and Drake, and wraps him in a warm hug. ‘You all did great, guys. Plus, the man’s no genius. No way he found anything incriminating.’

Drake plants a kiss on the top of Amara’s head. ‘He’s definitely suspicious, though.’

Amara shrugs. ‘Who cares? He’s a narcissistic royal dropout. Who’s gonna believe him?’ She sighs. ‘I’m glad I hid my stuff in Michael’s room, though. He was definitely snooping when he went to the bathroom.’

Hana gasps. ‘I knew it! He didn’t even pee.’

Maxwell grimaces. ‘How do you know? Do you have a superpower to see how full someone’s bladder is?’

Hana giggles. ‘No, ew, I just noticed everything was silent until he flushed. No peeing sound.’

Amara makes an approving face. ‘Look at you, Detective Lee, gathering clues. You make me proud.’

*****

‘Ugh,’ Amara sighs as she schleps her luggage back to Drake’s room. ‘Being sneaky is so exhausting.’

Drake smiles. ‘You could have let me carry all this, y’know.’

She shrugs. ‘I could have.’ She plops down on the bed. ‘I’m glad we played Monopoly after he left. It lightened the mood.’

‘Yeah, if you exclude Maxwell getting super upset because he kept paying Hana rent. The man has no idea what rent is.’

Amara laughs wholeheartedly. ‘I know. And Michael couldn’t stop saying ‘That’s how it WORKS, Maxwell!’, in his scary lawyer voice.’ She snuggles in Drake’s arms. ‘It was so nice. Can we also do nothing productive tomorrow?’

Drake nods. ‘You got it. Maybe we can go to the farmers’ market? No goats this time, though.’

‘Deal. Ugh,’ she repeats. ‘This reminded me how much I love being out in the open with you, and how much I love being here in the cabin. Sneaking around is stressful.’

Drake raises an eyebrow. ‘It is, but… it’s a little bit exciting, too, right?’

Amara bites her lip. She loves seeing that spark in Drake’s eyes. The same spark that has been there ever since their first escapade to the cop bar, all those weeks and weeks ago. The same spark that has come back every time they locked eyes in a crowd, knowing perfectly well that they would meet in the palace bathroom a few minutes later.

‘It is VERY exciting,’ she responds, running her hand down his unbuttoned shirt.

He strokes her hair, and down to her shoulder, not breaking eye contact. ‘Imagine being confined to a train car. We have to behave in front of people, right?’

She feels a tingle in her core. ‘Right,’ she agrees.

‘But in private,’ he continues, ‘as soon as I can get you alone, wherever that is—‘

‘Where would it be?’ She interrupts.

He grins. ‘Anywhere I can, we can’t be too picky about our stolen moments. It could be between two cars. In your cabin if you’re alone. In a deserted restaurant car.’

She gently nibs at his neck. ‘What would you do to me in the deserted restaurant car?’

‘I would kiss you as deep as I can,’ he says before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, illustrating his point.

She moans. ‘And?’ She asks

‘I would push you against the wall, and unbutton your jeans,’ he says as he actually does so. ‘Then…’ he trails off, unzips her pants, and lets his hand wander inside her panties, drawing a muffled moan from Amara’s lips. ‘Yeah, just like that,’ he whispers, ‘I’d pin you against a wall and I’d do the thing you like, just like this,’ he adds as he draws circles around her clit with his index finger, all the while letting his middle finger find her entrance.

‘Fuck,’ she whispers. ‘Mmm, Drake…’

Her lips crash against his, and her tongue finds his, as she bucks her hips against his hand. ‘I’d tell you I love you,’ he adds between kisses, ‘and that I want you so fucking bad…’

‘Mmm,’ she moans, entranced. ‘I’d tell you I love you too, and I would also unzip you,’ she says as she finds his zipper and pulls it down. She feels her stomach flutter as she frees Drake’s hard cock. ‘If we’re really alone, maybe I would even…’ she interrupts herself and lowers her head towards his crotch.

Drake moans. ‘Baby…’ he whispers.

Amara teases the tip of his cock with her tongue, until he can’t take it any longer and she takes it in her mouth.

‘Fuck,’ he groans. ‘This is so fucking good…’

She takes care of him intently, her head bobbing up and down, faster and faster, until he gently cups her face.

‘I want you so fucking bad,’ he says in a low, raspy voice.

She feels her core tighten. She needs him inside her, right now. She’s never wanted someone so badly, all the time. If he wanted to fuck her all day, every day, she’d be all in.

Amara sits up and takes off her shirt and bra. Drake groans some more, taking off his clothes in a hurry. He pulls down her jeans and underwear completely, as if every second counted. ‘Fuck, get naked for me,’ he groans. He pulls her on top of him, his hands everywhere, as if he had more than two. He cups her breasts, caresses her back, her stomach, her ass, everything. He pulls her close, and kisses her like there’s no tomorrow. She places herself so his cock is right at her entrance, and she gently lowers herself onto it, taking every inch slowly.

‘Mmmmm, Amara,’ he whispers, bucking his hips slowly. She rides him with long, slow thrusts, each one drawing a moan from the both of them. She feels her orgasm getting closer, she needs to take her time. He knows her, he knows she likes it deep and slow, deeper and deeper, and he lets her control her rhythm. Soon, her breath is uneven, she can’t wait much longer.

‘I love you,’ he whispers between kisses, ‘I fucking love you, Amara. Please come for me.’

She feels her walls contract around Drake’s hard cock, she feels it coming. She loses herself in the moment.

*****

‘NO!’

Maxwell wakes up on the floor, stunned. What the fuck just happened, he thinks. He sits up and rubs his eyes. He peeks over to the bed, where Hana is sprawled out, pushing off the comforter and seemingly reenacting a strange battle.

‘No! Not the bees again,’ she whispers as she fights an invisible army of bees.

Maxwell slaps his hand on his own mouth, trying to muffle the sound of his laugh. Oh boy, he thinks. That’s an oddly specific nightmare.

No way he’s gonna go back to sleep right now, with Hana all across the queen bed. He shrugs and gets up. He glances at the alarm clock. 4 AM. He can probably catch some sleep on the couch.

He’s careful not to wake anyone up, and goes down each step very slowly. Once downstairs, he notices the kitchen light is on. ‘Hello?’ He whispers.

He comes in to find Michael at the kitchen table, tea in hand. ‘Hi, Max,’ he yawns.

Max’s heart skips a beat. Why does he have to feel this way every time he stumbles upon that man? He shakes it off and smiles. ‘Hey, Michael, what are you doing up?’

‘I couldn’t sleep, I guess,’ he shrugs. ‘You?’

Max shrugs too. ‘Hana had a massive, weird nightmare, and literally pushed me off the bed.’

Michael’s eyes widen. ‘Wow. Intense. Is she ok?’

‘Well, she better not be allergic to bees in her dream.’

Michael laughs. ‘Wow, scary stuff. Want some tea? I found some herbal stuff in the pantry, it’s old but it’s still ok.’

Max nods. ‘Sure. It must have been Bianca’s, so it’s probably ten years old, but I’m willing to risk it!’

Michael serves another cup for Max and hands it to him. ‘Here, it’s very hot.’

They sit side by side on the living room couch. Michael sits cross legged, and Maxwell can’t help but notice how nice his legs look in his pajama pants, simple light gray joggers. He shakes it off again. Stop it, you perv, he thinks.

Michael smiles as he sips on his tea. ‘This tea is actually pretty gross, you’re right.’

Max chuckles. ‘Told ya.’ He gets up and grabs the bottle Leo brought. ‘Here. Drake won’t care if we open this.’ He pours two shots and puts a couple of ice cubes in each. ‘Here,’ he says. ‘To stealing your friend’s booze.’

Michael laughs. ‘Ha!’ He takes a big sip, sighs, and adds sheepishly, ‘To be honest, I feel like Drake owes me this much.’

Maxwell raises an eyebrow.

Michael continues, ‘I’m pretty sure I heard his bed squeak very loudly earlier, along with a few...unmistakable sounds. I’m scarred for life.’

Maxwell bursts out laughing. ‘Welcome to my life, Michael!’ He raises his glass again. ‘To whiskey helping with your trauma!’

Michael chuckles. ‘Not just the whiskey, Maxwell. You��re helping, too.’

‘Aw shucks,’ Max waves him off, blushing. ‘Solidarity for the insomniacs of the house.’

Michael looks down at his glass. ‘It’s more than that. You’ve been quite the rock for me. I feel like I’ve thanked you many times, but none of those times have seemed...enough. I’m forever grateful.’

Maxwell looks away, unable to hide his blushing face any longer. ‘Michael, you don’t have to be. It’s been my pleasure, truly. I wish you weren’t leaving so soon.’ There it is, it came out. ‘I mean, I know you need to go home to Callie, of course, but I just meant, um… I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you more.’ Oh God, he thinks. This isn’t going well, he can’t stop talking.

Michael remains silent for a little while. Surprisingly, it’s comfortable. In another situation, Maxwell would try to fix his earlier babbling by babbling a lot more, but...not now. Now he just settles into the silence.

Michael downs the rest of his whiskey, and gulps it down with a deep sigh. As soon as the liquid is down his throat, he swiftly reaches out to Maxwell’s hand, which was casually resting on the couch cushion. He squeezes it, still silent.

Maxwell can’t speak. All he can do it squeeze it back, as tenderly as he can. After a minute, Michael takes his hand away and uses it to pour himself another shot of whiskey, which he downs instantly. When Max finally gathers the courage to turn towards him, he realizes Michael’s eyes are filled with tears. He wants to reach out as well, but he’s afraid of overstepping.

‘Seriously,’ Michael says, finally breaking the silence. ‘You’ve helped me more than I can explain.’ He lets out a sad chuckle. ‘Maybe it’s for the best that I’m leaving on Thursday. I have a lot to process.’

Maxwell exhales, and realizes he’d been holding his breath ever since their hands had touched. His heart is racing. ‘To...process?’ He asks hesitantly.

Michael nods and puts his head in his hands. He turns to Maxwell and looks him right in the eye. Max’s stomach flutters. ‘I wish I could stay, but I wouldn’t want to go too fast. I finally feel like I have a chance at healing.’

Maxwell finds the courage to nod. ‘You do?’ He risks.

Michael smiles, and a tear falls down his cheek. ‘I really do. And it’s fucking crazy, because it’s been a week, but hey,’ he shrugs, ‘stranger things have happened. Like, oh, you know, my sister being in a competition for a fucking prince’s hand.’

Maxwell laughs. Thank God for Michael’s humor. ‘I guess,’ he chuckles.

Michael continues. ‘I’m sorry, I’m putting a lot on you. I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it, believe me, I’ve tried.’

Maxwell wants to reach out for his hand so badly, but he refrains and settles for a light pat on the shoulder, which feels wrong, and too distant, but it’ll have to do. ‘You’re not putting too much on me.’

Michael lets out what wants to be a chuckle, but it sounds like a muffled sob. ‘Yeah? Because I swear I feel like this—‘ he gestures between the two of them— ‘isn’t all in my head, but sometimes I think, hey, maybe it’s all in my head.’

Maxwell snorts. ‘Believe me. It’s not all in your head. It’s there.’

Michael wipes off the tear that fell off two minutes ago. ‘Good. I mean, I’m glad. God, this isn’t smooth, come on Michael…’ he laughs to himself.

‘Michael, you’re speaking to the man who once stabbed his brother in the arm while opening a bottle of champagne with a sword. I am the king of not smooth.’

‘Really? You stabbed Bertrand?’ He asks anxiously.

‘Eh, it was a little cut,’ Maxwell waves him off. ‘But still. I am not smooth, and not everything needs to be perfect. I like this. I like that we tried to have tea, and it sucked, and then we made it good by dumping it out and replacing it with whiskey. I like improvising. I’m in no rush, I impose no pressure. I’m just here.’

Maxwell lets out a long sigh. He’s gotta stop holding his breath so much.

Michael smiles. ‘Well, for someone who doesn’t like perfect, you sure deliver a pretty perfect pep talk soliloquy.’

Max’s throat is in knots. Thank God for the dark-ish room, because he couldn’t handle seeing all of Michael’s face, with everything it represents. Everything it could be.

Michael takes a deep breath and gets up to rinse his whiskey glass. He walks back over to Maxwell and, without hesitation, plants a tender kiss on his cheek. Max has to fight the urge to capture his lips in his, to hold him tight, because no, not now, not yet, not while he’s processing.

Michael’s eyes meet his, and he whispers ‘Good night, Max,’ before disappearing up the stairs.

*****

Michael closes the bedroom door behind him, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that he did that, said that, confessed everything. He can’t believed there was this much to confess in just a week, but here we are.

Still shaking, he unplugs his phone from the charger and opens the photos. Scrolling back, his eyes meet smiley pictures of his late husband, including some of their wedding day, all toothy grins and happiness. Michael plops down on the bed, weak at the knees. Before he can stop it, he lets out a long sob, and tears flood his cheeks.

Two years.

Two years since he’s seen the love of his life, the father of his daughter, the man he said ‘I do’ to, in the flesh. Two years since they kissed, held hands, made love.

Two years since he’s been loved. Taken care of. Looked at with tenderness.

Are two years enough?

They were enough to make him feel like all hope was lost. They were enough to make him feel comfortable in the blanket of loneliness that wrapped him. They were enough to make him feel like a long-time widower, a person who would remain in that situation forever, and that’s that.

But were they enough to move on?

Probably not. Those two years did nothing in that direction. But the past week did. The warm, caring man he’d met did. The quicker pace of his heart when he was around did. The rush he felt when he kissed his cheek tonight did.

The feelings growing in his heart did.

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @andy-loves-corgis , @jovialyouthmusic , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal , @nikkis1983​ , @simsvetements , @alesana45 @iplaydrake @emceesynonymroll @lily1999love , @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @thisperfectmemory @drxkewalker @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @mrsmairstanley @addictedtodrakefanfic @msjpuddleduck @kimmiedoo5 @furryperfectionlover @princessleac1

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that’s not why i’m staying #drake walker x amara suarez #dramara #drake walker x mc #that's not why i'm going #drake walker #trr drake #drake x mc #drake walker trr #drake x amara #the royal romance fanfic #maxwell beaumont #maxwell x michael

[kittenfemme27]

Genshin Impact

Breath of the Wild was a game I wanted to love. I love the Zelda games, always have, and I eat up open world games like candy. Yet, BoTW has sat on my digital shelf collecting digital dust for ages. Why is that? Well, to put it simply, I don't want to play as Link. BoTW has a beautiful world, rich combat and game play puzzles, tons to see and do and experience, it's a sandbox for the ages. But it's hampered so heavily for me by the fact that I have to play this very boring and to be honest kind of forgettable boy named Link during the game play. That may sound petty, but if I'm in an open world game I want to fully immerse myself into that and video games are where we all go to escape anyway. If I wanted to be misgendered, I'd simply forget to shave and go outside.

I don't mind playing other Zelda games because in those, Link is a self contained character in the world and they're relatively short and self contained games. But BoTW is a sandbox. And for a large majority of it, you're not going to be doing the story or being addressed as link. The size of the world and the sheer amount of hours you're going to put into it mean that for almost all intents and purposes, Link isn't Link, he's a faceless avatar that you're supposed to put yourself into. The game offers so much freedom in so many avenues and yet, in your choice of how to explore the world as someone you'd actually like to be, you're not allowed. You have to be a skinny blonde twink.

So, in late 2019, in comes a trailer for Genshin Impact. It's making its rounds on the Internet as a "PC Free to Play Gacha Breath of the Wild Clone" which, while a mouthful, was something I initially wrote off. Didn't see a point in checking it out, as I really don't like Gacha games very much. But in late September 2020, MiHoYo the developers released the public 1.0 build of the game to everyone. Multi-platform, too. iOS/Android, PC, PS4, and even a switch release down the line. And maybe its the pandemic, or maybe the Internet was simply too lured in by the cute anime girls, but it took the many by storm. It took me personally over 12+ hours to download the 11 gigs of the game because the servers were so swamped with people.

Now I do want to be clear: Genshin Impact borrows many things from BoTW, but it isn't a clone. It's not a sandbox in the same way BoTW is and aside from some general game play things such as gliders, stamina/wall climbing system, and general aesthetic, the games are massively different. Still, though, playing it has highlighted to me why I never felt quite right playing BoTW, and its that lack of freedom. That lack of ability to play the game on my own terms and explore the beautiful handcrafted world the way I want to. 

Despite appearances, Genshin Impact is a lot more like a single player MMO than it is anything else. Requiring tons of farming and grinding to create high level powerful characters in a world that gets increasingly more powerful and hostile as you do. The core game play loop of Genshin Impact is pretty phenomenal, essentially giving you a massive world to explore with literally thousands upon thousands of chests and rewards to find. Either by clearing out enemies, doing random in world puzzles, or even just sitting around. Being inside of and exploring the world of Teyvat is as rewarding as it is beautiful. The art and animation design of the game are stellar and do a lot to make you forget how much time has passed since you booted up the game in the first place. There's tons of different lore books to find, NPC's to talk to, quests to complete, the world is chock-full of lore and world building even down to simple weapon and material descriptions. Teyvat is a wonderful place to be and the developers MiHoYo deserve a pat on the back for how good the world of Genshin Impact is. The other side of game play is a simple system of Character Progression where you farm materials to make your characters/weapons/abilities better so that you can farm even more materials from harder enemies, much like an MMO, and you also acquire gear called Artifacts with randomly rolled stats much like an ARPG. In that regard, Genshin Impact is highly addictive. There are a myriad of weapons, talents, artifacts, and characters all to level up and build up over the course of your play, and every character can be made viable very very easily. The game also lets you keep a party of 4 characters that you can swap between at any point, as well as each character being attuned to a specific Elemental Type that reacts to other Elements. This causes the end-game to be centered around doing some of the hardest dungeons the game has to offer by theory crafting incredibly powerful teams that work off of each other and cause Elemental Reactions in enemies. It’s some of the most fun i’ve had in a game in ages.

All of that is fantastic but unfortunately its all also held back by one simple, huge problem: Original Resin. The game uses a currency called Original Resin that you use to challenge the harder content in the game. Dungeons, World Bosses, Elite Weekly Bosses, you name it and if its end-game content, it likely costs Resin. And not in insignificant amounts either. Dungeons are 20, Bosses are 40, and Weekly Bosses are 60. So, how do you obtain this material? Time. You start with, and are capped, at 120(Later 160 in patch 1.1). 1 resin takes 8 minutes to get back. If you spend it all, it takes 16 hours to get back. Given the rates you spend it, you can go from 120 to 0 in roughly 10-15 minutes. With no way to increase the resin cap, and the incredibly slow acquisition rate, that frequently means you only have about that much playtime a day of the game in the endgame. And that's, needless to say, incredibly frustrating. Thankfully its not an entire stamina system that means you can't play the game at all when you're out of resin, but it does mean that character progression itself is gated as all upgrade/progression materials are locked behind these dungeons and bosses that you must use Original Resin to face. Effecitvely, this means single characters will become weeks and weeks of work, with weapons and artifacts being only slightly less time consuming. I can only hope MiHoYo is looking to change this system in a way that isn't just increasing the cap as the feedback they've received has been very negative regarding it, but only time will tell.

Unfortunately, this isn't the games only problem with its players either. The game is a Gacha, there is no getting around that, but despite the fact that pretty much any character can become massively overpowered and viable in the endgame, people are going to want the rarest characters that exist. This is by design and unfortunately is more or less a glorified gambling system. And while the game is quite nice with its premium currency and how often it gives it, what isn't nice is that the rarest “5-star”characters cost a minimum of 200$ to get through money. With no guarantee you're getting the one you want.

Worse still, outside of a guaranteed 5-star drop at 90 rolls on the gacha wheel, the chance for a 5-star weapon or character is 0.6%. Not even a whole rounded up 1%. This is frankly ridiculous, as is the cost of real money to premium currency. For reference, most other popular Gacha’s doing well offer their rarest characters at anywhere between a 1-6% rate. In general, gacha's aren't known to be kind in their rates. That’s the point, they want you to gamble with real money. Genshin Impact, however, is so unkind and unfair that even other regular players of gacha gamers are very, very vocally upset. If it wasn't for the game play loop and the world, I'm not sure this would fly. And its certainly not flying in the west with the crowd that doesn't play Gacha's nearly as much. Neither is the resin system, as gamers in the west typically want to play for hours and hours at a time.

I’d be remiss if i didn’t bring up the story in Genshin Impact, as it’s genuinely fantastic. As previously stated, the world has a metric tonne of hidden lore in books, weapon/item/artifact descriptions, character stories you unlock as you use a playable character, etc. But the main story you can currently play from start to finish in the 1.0 release is the prologue.

This prologue stars very simply: Your character, the “Traveler” is an alien from another world. Not much is known about them so far, other than that the Traveler and their sibling were people with the ability to hop between worlds at will. In the opening moments of the game this power, along with your sibling, are stolen from you by an unnamed assailant. Thus trapping you in Teyvat and leaving you to begin a journey to find the Seven Gods of Teyvat, simply known as “The Seven” and seek their power and wisdom to find your sibling and potentially leave. This journey is how you meet Venti, one of the Seven in disguise as a simple human bard, and his best friend Dvalin. The events that follow have you help this strange bard, as well as the people of Mondstat, defeat the dragon Dvalin. Previously, he protected the lands of Mondstat for hundreds of years. However, as you meet both Dvalin and Venti, he has had his mind corrupted and been lied to by an order of evil mages known as the Abyss Order, and its caused him to go on the offensive against Mondstat and her people.

It's a fair bit emotional, humorous at times thanks to Venti, and overall very engaging. Mondstat is a city built on freedom, to the point that its own god Barbatos(Venti) refuses to rule over it and allows himself to be the weakest of the seven gods, as that would take away some of the cities freedom. Within this prologue, there is a huge focus on Mondstat being a city of Freedom, the prologue quite literally ends with Venti telling Dvalin after you have saved him from the corruption that even though he is "meant" to be the protector of Mondstat, he hopes Dvalin chooses whatever life he wants, even if that's not Mondstats protector, and that Venti simply wants him to be happy. Venti's own personal story quest goes further in depth about the foundation of Mondstat and its origins as a rebel city founded after the citizens overthrew the oppressive rule of an awful tyrant God and killed him. In a very pretty hand drawn "cathedral window" style cutscene, you get to see the end of this war and why Barbatos chose the form he currently inhabits and took up being a bard, which was to honor a dead friend from this very same war. This explains why Mondstat and Barbatos value its freedom so highly. I cried at this moment both times I played it.

For a free game, the storytelling here is off the charts. As i said before, Venti and many other characters have personal stories that both introduce you to a trial version of the playable character, thus letting you see how they work and play, and also giving you either more info on the world or an introduction to the character in question, or both. They're fantastic little stories and are up there with the main story in quality. One of my favorite parts of the game and something that will only be expanded with time. Each one takes you on a journey of discovery or even simple fun with a character and it all feels very personal and touching, as all of the main stories and character quests are very well voice acted.

The prologue being so focused on freedom makes it all the more awkward, then, that MiHoYo is a game developer based out of China, and as such has to follow China's censorship rules. Taiwan and Hong Kong both are censored in-game chat and if you're reported for saying them, you'll be banned for daring to speak the words. These aren't the only censorship decisions in the game, but they're by far the ones that struck me the most. I understand that the company is based out of China and thus has to follow the censorship rules, as they are the actual law of the land and they could be fined or even shut down if they refused. But the disconnect of knowing there are actual human rights atrocities being committed in China with the Uygher Genocide and Re-Education camps, the human rights violations in Hong Kong, the breakdown of democracy and the treatment of Taiwan, while this game that comes out of China boasts on and on about Freedom and the Human right to self actualize and choose their future is... troubling. It's one that I don't really know how to reconcile, if it can be reconciled at all. I'd like to believe that the developers really believe in their own story and secretly oppose those sorts of atrocities. But at the same time, banning players who mention Hong Kong or Taiwan isn't in the law. That’s a decision MiHoYo is making. Right now, China doesn’t have the freedom that Venti and Mondstat and Genshin Impact try to instill in you so hard as important and a human right. And knowing that and knowing the censorship is in the game make it very difficult to get a read on what the game actually wants you to feel.

Overall,i think Genshin Impact is a fantastic game. Its updates plan to bring in not only more story, as there are meant to be 7 Acts and currently the game features the Prologue and half of Act 1, but in those acts it plans to explain the playable areas and bring in new Events, Characters, Weapons, etc. And that makes me excited for the future of Genshin Impact! It’s a beautiful game of genuinely Triple AAA quality completely for free. But. Its also a Gacha game and by far one of the least rewarding Gachas you could play right now. Maybe that will change with time. I certainly hope it does. But it feels hard to recommend something that, once you beat it, disrespects your time so much and so badly. I hope Genshin Impact has a bright future, I really do, and I’m definitely going to continue playing it. But right now, I can’t say for certain that I feel confident in the developers to make it the game it clearly wants to be if it wasn’t shackled down by its Gacha.

#Genshin Impact #Review #Played on: PC #Played on: iOS

[aeliem]

My AUs and shit

Since I can’t find neither the time or motivation to draw characters from my AUs, I will describe them right now so I don’t forget. Of course I will draw references and post more detailed descriptions of what is gonna happen in those AUs but not right now because I’m tired as fuck.

When I started this blog, I wanted to make some Undertale content and it’s still what I wanna do but in the end I did one thing Undertale related and that’s not really how I whant things to go. In this post, I will describes my AUs and the timeline/stories that I’ve made with already existing AUs. If you don’t get what I’m saying don’t worry it doesn’t really matter bc I’m probably gonna make something more detailed later. Also if I speak in broken english it’s normal because I’m french and I started writing this at 1 in the morning or somethin. Also the stories aren’t in a specific order at least for most of them I just write them as I remember them. There’s some plot twist that I don’t really wanna talk about here so it’s why some things will be resumed or voluntarely ovelooked. Also, the stuff in brackets is the tag that I use for stuff about timelines with super long names (like for example you write fnaf not Five Nights At Freddy’s). More under the cut because oh boy it’s gonna be long.

Killertale After The Fall (KtATF) Linked to the multiverse Killertale (by @rahafwabas) Timeline This timeline covers what happens in between the moment when Chara leave Sans and Nightmare comes to recruit him. This will be one of my first comics since it is simple (or at least I hope it will be) and it will also train myself to draw the Undertale characters. Don’t expect anything rendered correctly in this one. It will also help me seeing how much time I take to draw pages of a comic.

Killertale For Creator’s Sake (KtFCS) Linked to the multiverse Killertale (by @rahafwabas ) Timeline This timeline is pretty much the same than the one up but it ends up differently and leads to more multiverse shit.

Watchertale Happening in the multiverse Group of characters This is a groupe of 4 characters in charge of protecting the multiverse. They’re named after shapes that are related to their powers. Circ (Circle), Sans, he/him, has a heavy sense of duty and is frienemies with Arr (friends until she screws up really badly or do some stupid pranks that end up in catastrophy), is at least as arrogant as Crow exept that he’s stonger than him thanks to his Sans powers. Arr (Arrow), Undyne, genderfluid (currently she/her), doesn’t take anything seriously and never gets angry about anything, likes to tease Circ even though sometimes he takes it too seriously, doesn’t really take the time to fix her mistakes because it doesn’t matter anyway. Crow (Crown), Asgore, he/him, arrogant and eager for knowlege, takes his position very seriously, thinks he’s better than the others because he’s the king of monsters, calls everyone by their shape instead of their names (but still insist that people call him Crow), too curious for his own good, hates Circ because he’s always saying that he’s better than him because he’s a Sans. Flow (Flower), Papyrus, they/them, are calm and often seem emotionless, realise that their job is inportant to the multiverse and the consequences that an interferance might have, do what their boss tells them to do without asking questions (most of the time).

Sentrytale Linked to the multiverse Undertale Timeline that happens to know the multiverse exists Because of Flow (see above), this timeline is aware that the multiverse exist and that it is highly dangerous because people like Nightmare can just come in a timeline and kill everyone so they are protecting the universe with the help of the group from Watchertale. They are managing the MultiNet and made it better for asking questions and detecting potentially dangerous Sanses. They also raised awareness in a lot of other timelines thanks to a show hosted by Mettaton presenting several Alternative Universes to other AUs through the MultiNet. Toriel is still in the Ruins and has no clue what is happening Frisk doesn’t exist Flowey works with Alphys and everyone knows he’s Asriel Sans also works with Alphys and everyone knows that he used to be Alphys’ lab assistant Undyne is the captain of the Royal Guard Papyrus is the sub-captain of the Royal Guard and is less innocent than classic Papyrus Alphys is moderating the MultiNet and categorizes AUs and timelines Mettaton is hosting a show presenting different AUs and timelines and got even more popular, also no one can control what he’s showing Asgore is still the king and organizes expeditions to other timelines when they detect a problem in one.

Dusttale Redemption (DtR) Linked to the multiverse Dusttale (by @ask-dusttale) Timeline I’ve always been a fan of Dusttale so it was only a matter of time before I made my own story. I want to make a comic with this story but I don’t know when I’ll start it so I will just do it when I want (I still want it to be one of the first comics I draw because I tend to lose interest in doing stuff if it’s alrady fleshed out). This timeline was originally supposed to be about Dust finding some sort of redemption (hence the title) but it’s more how Sans came to the idea of killing everyone and what happens once he succeded in doing this.

Undertale Void (UtV) Linked to the multiverse Undertale Timeline Tell the story of Undertale characters from different timelines who all fell into the Core, some instead of Gaster, and some after him. In order of fall into the Core: Gaster, Sans, Alphys, Papyrus, Undyne, then another Sans. They all have specific powers thanks to the Void that they all live in. They can travel to other timelines but Gaster forbids it because it can have major consequences on said timeline. I have no idea how I want this to end and it’s kinda old compared to the other stuff so I have no idea if I will post the story here.

Undertale Horror (UtH) Cut from the multiverse Undertale and Horrortale (by @sour-apple-studios) Timeline The only Undertale story of mine (or at least I think) that has OCs in it (not alternate Frisks or other Undertale characters, original characters). It tells the story of Frisk who left the underground after a neutral run, which, as everyone knows, is the beginning of Horrortale. Liliana (first OC), falls into the underground and, with the help of Gwen (second OC), manages to make a Reset and convinces Frisk to do a pacifist run. So everyone starts to live happily at the surface, but things gets worse when some people start to remember what happened before the Reset. This is one of the stories that I like the most and that I’m the most enthusiastic about even though I have no idea how this is gonna end. I know that I will make it into a comic but I want to do KtATF and DtR before and I hope I will make it before I lose that enthusiasm because that would kinda suck.

Undertale timeline 2737 (Utt2737) Cut from the multiverse Undertale Timeline This is my take on the characters origin and their evolution (especially Sans’ (in case you didn’t know or haven’t noticed most of my AUs are Sans centric even though I often try to balance it out with other characters) but the evolution is for pretty much every characters). I think it will also cover what happens after Frisk leaves the underground (neutral timeline with random actions). I think I will stop with Frisk’s arrival but I’m not sure so I’ll keep writing shit.

Cardtale Background AU Already existing concept (aka Cardtale) remaster The concept of “taking Undertale characters and turning them into cards” already exist, same for the name. I just thought that it would be fun to make my own version of it. I wrote this AU like a game, which means that there is no special story about it, but I might use it in my multiverse story as a random AU getting attacked (hence the name background AU). Each character of the game is linked to a specific card, and I might draw some of those cards if I don’t know what else to do.

Starvingtale Cut from the multiverse/Background AU AU inspired by Horrortale (by @sour-apple-studios) and partially by Monstertale (by @shnowbilicat) (also this is the name I originally wanted to take) In this AU, monsters don’t have magic but instead have more... monstrous traits. They need more food than humans and, as they were trapped in the underground, food started to run out. A lot of monsters have died and, since they don’t turn to dust, the weakest would be eaten by the strongests. Sans and Papyrus’ designs were heavily inspired by True Xans from Undervirus (by @jeyawue), so they have cat-like skeleton legs and tails. Toriel and Asgore have more goat characteristics and are massive (they litterally look like big squares when I draw them). Undyne also has more shark-like features. I haven’t choose a design for Alphys yet. This AU might be used as a background AU just like Cardtale but I might also tell a story with it once I’m done with the others.

Spirittale Cut from the multiverse I forgot if I was inspired by something when I made this one It’s mostly a concept and I have no real story to go with it. Monsters are called spirits (monster is an insult). Every spirit has one or several elements that influences their powers and sometimes personnality. Those elements are fire, water, ice, plants, poison, darkness, light, space, earth, metal and electricity. It is possible for humans, animals and objects to become a spirit under the exposure of one or several elements. Spirits can also gain elements that way. It is common for a spirit to have an appearance that isn’t directly linked to their element(s). Spirits of metal, darkness, light and poison are the rarest elements since they were consised the most dangerous of spirits and were almost eradicated. It is also more difficult to gain those elements. Spirits with only one element, also called pure spirits, are extremely rare, same for free spirits. Free spirits are spirits who often have only one element and can possess pretty much any item. The main cast’s elements (if most of them are missing it’s because I forgot they existed): Toriel: fire and earth Napstablook: darkness, free spirit Sans: ice, poison and space Papyrus: earth, light and space Undyne: water, metal and light Alphys: electricity and fire Mettaton: electricity, free spirit Riverperson: darkness and space For now, this AU’s just a concept (just like Underfell or Underswap), and I have no idea if I will tell something with it.

Infectiontale Cut from the multiverse Inspired by every zombie story ever In this AU, there’s a sickness that decomposes the body of people who are infected by it. Since people thought more monsters had it compared to humans, they locked down every monster and every few infected humans they found. There is no actual cure for this but the king of monster is determined to find one. Sides effects include general hunger at first stages, hunger for meat in middle stages and for humans and monsters at advanced stages. It also slowly decomposes body pieces, separates the skin from the bones and makes infected people bleeding almost constantly. From middle to advanced stages, the infected person may have a hard time remembering who they are and keeping control of their body and instincs. It is also at that time that the sickness can be transmitted through any corporal fluid, most common being blood and saliva. I don’t know if I will make a story out of it but I have some ideas that I might developp later.

Underfantasy Cut from the multiverse Inspired by diverse mythologies Monsters are replaced by different fantastic creatures. Unlike Undertale, there was two wars inter-species: the war in between angels and demons wich made angels lose their powers and dissapear and almost killed all the demons, and the war in between humans and monster wich ended with monsters trapped under a giant dome and humans trapped underground. Both monsters and humans suffered heavy losses during the war, in consequence there is about 5000 humans and 7500 monsters left (those numbers are random and will certainly change for plot convenience). The Dreemurr family are centaurs, the skeletons are demons, Undyne is a mermaid, Alphys is a small dragon and Flowey is a blood flower. Those are the characters that I currently chose a specie for. I’m as enthusiastic for this AU than for UtH and I think there is more story for this AU than any other AU I’ve made (at least for now).

Bloodlusttale Linked to the multiverse Inspired by Lusttale (by @nsfwshamecave) The story is pretty much like Lusttale’s exept monster didn’t have a problem with reproduction, but with combativity. The first human to fell in the underground had a soul with the bloodlust trait that was later injected in every monster to increase their strength. This AU shows similarities with Underfell exept monsters don’t fight to kill but rather to prove their strenght or humiliate their opponent (also for sadistic pleasure). Only adult monsters are injected with Bloodlust but most parents already had Bloodlust in their veins before their made kids, so this trait got transmitted to most children as well. Having scars is considered as a weakness because it shows that you lost a fight, so the more scars someone has, the weaker they’re seen by the other even though it might not be true. Mettaton is hosting a show in wich monsters fight each other, sometimes almost to death, and so monsters can satisfy their thirst for blood by watching TV instead of by constantly engaging fights with their neighbours. Even though most monsters come to fight on this show for fame, bloodlust or the prizes (mostly Gold), some are kidnapped by Mettaton’s employees when they refuse to come fight in the arena (it happens with strong monsters or those who are said to be strong so that it brings more spectators and participants on the show).

Underlight Background AU/Linked to the multiverse Inspired by nothing I guess In this AU monsters are very similars to robot (exept they have emotions and need food just like humans) and cannot die with age. They also need Light to live, wich is produced by “living beings” such as humans, animals and plants. Since monsters don’t produces Light, they aren’t considered as living beings by most people. Golden flowers are the main source of Light and light and are used in lanterns. They are also one of the only plants in the underground since some expeditions have been made to the surface to bring living beings who produces light. This AU is very medieval-like, by that I mean that they don’t have access to a lot of technology and most monsters grow their own food. This is a background AU for a multiverse timeline about my own version of Empireverse in wich an Undyne and a Sans go out of their timeline to fight with the Sun and Moon empires.

Underfeel Cut from the multiverse Inspired by... Ink and his emotion vials? (honestly idk for this one) Underfeel is an AU that is extremely similar to Undertale exept that soul traits are replaced by emotions and that the colors of what I plan to be a comic matches those emotions. Also, emotions can give you powers if you’re in a magic environment or have magic at your disposition. Frisk’s main emotion, or at least the one that they always use, is hope, and grant them wings. Each feeling is associated with a color, and color schemes follow those (or at least that’s what I want to do). For now, this AU’s just a concept, just like most of my AUs.

Underrain Cut from the multiverse Inspired by the song Can’t stand the rain by The Rescues In this AU, monsters are entirely made of water and live in an area surrounded in high freezing mountains and were it’s always raining. Not a lot of people believe that there are monsters there because no one bothers to go and try to explore this area, since it’s highly dangerous and would take way too long. Also, you can’t see anything from the sky because of the clouds. Every monster wears a mask which is like their family name. For example, monsters from the same family will wear the same type of masks, and married couples can choose to take the same mask as their partner or to take a new mask type. The most expensive masks are those who can perfectly replicate the wearer’s facial expressions and change their appearance to fit perfectly their look. For example, Asriel’s mask allows him to look almost like the one from Undertale and almost doesn’t show any watery part. One of the worst things that can happen to a monster is degeneration, wich means that monsters can have too much or not enough water, and that can lead to their death. They can also start to fuse with other monsters, soak everything around them, evaporate when there isn’t enough rain or simply “melt” when in contact with water. For now, it’s only a concept AU, and I don’t have any satisfying idea of a story I want to go with.

Underelements Background AU Inspired by Spirittale and Underrain (yes I got inspired by my own AUs WAT YOU GONNA DO BITCH) In this AU, monsters are spirits, just like in Spirittale. There’s three kinds of spirits: water, fire and wind spirits. There’s also earth spirits, but they call themselves humans. Earth spirits are also the only one who call other spirits “monsters”. The differences in between the different kinds of spirits are their colors (skin, eyes, hair, etc.), their mindset and culture, even thought those are generalities and don’t apply to every single spirit of said type. When two spirits from different types have a child, this child might be one type or a combination of their parents’, same for their powers. They will still be labelled as one type according to their personnality even though their appearance might be a mix of their parents’. Frisk is an earth spirit, Toriel is a fire spirit, Napstablook is a water spirit, Sans a wind spirit, Papyrus a fire spirit, Undyne a water spirit, Alphys a fire spirit, Mettaton a wind spirit, Muffet a wind spirit, Asgoreis a fire spirit, Chara an earth spirit and Asriel a fire spirit. Fire spirits’ colors tend to be red, sometimes purple or cyan, wind spirits’ are light cyan and blue, sometimes pink, water spirits’ are blue and dark cyan, sometimes green or turquoise, earth spirits’ are yellow and brown, sometimes red. Of course, it’s more detailed than that, but I’m not sure about precise colors so here’s an overview. I have no story to tell with this AU so it’s just a cool concept I like and the opportunity to create new species.

Admintale Cut from the multiverse Inspired by Sans’ capacities to use debug commands in the original Undertale game Monsters are humans that have developped powers that allows them to hack reality and laws of physics, and they call themselves “admins”. Most of them change their appearance to go to places frequented by other admins, and change tyhemselves into the original Undertale characters, hence the name “monsters”. At first, they were tolerated by everyone because no one knew they existed, but then people started to be aware of their existence and to distrust them. Slowly, the government started to vote laws against them, until being an admin became a crime punishable by the death penalty, or at least that’s how I want the story to go (if I ever write it). Every character’s real appearance is pretty much their Humantale/Overtale form, and their “monster” form is the one from Undertale. Every admin has different powers that they can train to gain new ones.

I have other AUs on my computer but or I don’t like them or they’re too old for me to remember the details or they’re too small to do something about it or they’re just old and cringy.

#my art #my shit #masterpost #my aus #KtATF #KtFCS #DtR #UtV #UtH #Utt2737 #dusttale #killertale #horrortale #lusttale #watchertale #sentrytale #cardtale #starvingtale #spirittale #infectiontale #underfantasy #undertale #bloodlusttale #underlight #underfeel #underrain #underelements #admintale #monstertale #au

[asian-fiction]

Marry Me (三嫁惹君心)

Episodes: 35 Runtime: 45 Production: Medium High Dubbed?: Yes Mix of own voices and VAs Ending Type: Fairly sure this has a happy ending. They don't have enough material on the serious events ends to make it sad.

Story:

The plot, is honestly thin compared to the book from what I gather and is like 10% events and plot and 90% romance. Something along that line. If you want a heavier and more detective-based drama, then Maiden Holmes strikes a 30-70 balance, I think. The top makes the plot sound serious... but I think it's more along this line:

Ju Mu Er, a talented Qin player, accidentally meets the richest guy in the capital, Long Yue, while trying to investigate and look for an old score. Rumors quickly swirl around them about their relationship to each other.

Meanwhile, Ju Mu Er's Qin Master is wrongfully put to death. Ju Mu Er and Long Yue find themselves trying to solve smaller cases related to finding out the truth of Ju Mu Er's master's death. In order to solve the case, they find themselves getting married to catch a murderer connected to her master's wrongful death.

It takes until episode 8 for the plot to pick up. Episode 10 for it to hit its stride. It's mostly light-hearted and they thinned out the book's serious plot a lot. The male lead is mischievous trickster type, which is a breath of fresh air in many ways. He has issues expressing how he really feels towards the female lead most of the time, and picks fights, so he comes off as immature, but it also means quite a bit of room for character growth along the way.

The female lead is more focused on solving the main plot, but honestly, the camera nor the writing seems very interested in this main plot at all, so the thing that keeps the majority of the interest and pacing is the romance which is reading more than friends, less than lovers type.

Feminism Tests: Bechdel: Passes. Two Named female characters. Yes. Talk to each other. Yes. About something other than men... most of the time no, but it does manage to kinda pass.

Mako Mori Test: Technically fail. Her named main motivation is about men, but there are unnamed secondary motivations which are about herself. (Like being a good Qin player, or being a good teacher for a woman and often in defiance of choosing love first.).

Sexy Lamp Test: Female Character makes a decision: Yes. that changes the course of the events: 75/25 and changes the minds of characters around her about her: 50/50 More than one time?: Not really. It's not end to end agency. Bonus round: She faces the consequences of her actions: Yes. And rescues herself: 50/50 on this one.

Note there is a fridging--but unusually of a male character. Honestly, the death of her Teacher is so little focused on after his death, sometimes, I think they forgot he died.

The female main character does make decisions for herself that defy the male characters around her, so it's clear she has her own mind. The problem is that they don't always stick and change things up as much.

Production:

The interiors look like mostly new sets, so they weren't hurting for money. The exteriors--you've seen them at least 10-20 times this year... but it is as such. The costuming has interesting choices, but isn't historically accurate--if you were looking for that. It's still visually appealing and there is clear thought put into it--including some cute couple outfits throughout. The direction is pretty good and there are some nice shots. If I *had* to and you were twisting my arm on the weakest link, I would say the writing of the script is probably the weakest, but, honestly I don't mind mostly romance and very little plot, so I'm super biased. (I was going into this thinking it would be very serious, etc... but nope. Mostly romance fluff)

Why would you watch this:

You like romance fluff in a historical setting with a love-hate relationship that goes on for more than half the drama. I would compare this drama to a meringue? I think. Fluffy on the outside, but there is still a little crunch and sometimes a filling on the inside.

You will hate this, as many people did after watching the first episode if you wanted it to follow the book closely, if you want Xing Zhao Lin to play the same exact character he did in The Eternal Love. If you were expecting substance and weight to this drama.

You are likely to forget this drama in 10-20 years. But it's a fun ride.

#Chinese drama #2020 #romance #mystery #historical #review

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on… 2019 seasonal books

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week.

Finally! I promised that I would be posting this as soon as all the seasonal books were fully released, but I didn’t think it would take them so long to be finished… and I didn’t expect me to spend so much time reading them. For some stupid reason, I saw myself facing the same problem with all four books: trying to finish the first chapter was a real struggle. Maybe the beginning of the books was too slow, maybe the first chapters were too long… I have no idea why it took me forever finishing the first chapter of all four books. Luckily, all of them caught my attention in chapter 2 and of course, I couldn’t stop reading afterwards. The books are organized as per release date.

The Royal Holiday (November 16, 2019 - December 7, 2019): Sorry if I’m a little biased on this book, but I think talking about it may be a little complex, because I have a feeling that every person had a different experience depending on who you married to. Overall, I really liked it. I felt it was more similar to what we’re used to see in TRR than in TRH. And if you married Drake (as my MC did), I guess you’ll understand what I mean. If you didn’t marry him, let me give you a quick update: during The Royal Heir there were plenty of dialogs with Drake that were absolutely out of character… can you imagine him saying “yes” to Liam’s petition immediately? I mean, no doubts, no “but”, no nothing? Even the MC had more doubts than him! Anyway, in this Christmas book, the old Drake we know (and some of us learned to love) was back and that was pretty comforting. One of the things I liked the most about this book was how the writers found a balance between the time alone with our LI and the main plot of the story. On one hand, spending time with Drake and remembering that it was actually in Lythikos where they both began to realize they had some romantic feelings for each other was a nice detail. On the other hand, helping Olivia after all she did for the crown (and especially after what she went through with Anton and her aunt) was awesome. I personally missed her so much during TRH that she definitely deserved all the love and a whole book dedicated to her. But I have to admit I got mad… like really mad… when I saw all the nobles arriving at the party just because the press had been there. Can we just talk about how fake these people are? I kept waiting for the moment where someone would give them a piece of their mind, because I certainly did while reading the last chapter.

The Elementalists: Winters Past (November 27, 2019 - December 18, 2019): I think this was PB’s attempt to give us a proper closure for The Elementalists series… but they didn’t convince me. Don’t get me wrong, I think the book is pretty good, I had fun reading it, I loved the plot involving Shreya’s mother, Isabella and their friendship story, but as we won’t be seeing this gang anymore, I would have expected the book to solve at least some of the questions that were left unanswered in Book 2. There were plenty of hints (like how the MC and Atlas spent Christmas with their mother) and even some glimpses of the future (in my case, my MC is dating Beckett and they talked about meeting his parents… and even about having kids!) but nothing that concrete. Instead, the main plot took another direction and gave us a whole new story, with ghosts and a solstice (and now I’m wondering if we’ll see some crossover between TE and BB in the future) that ended up being very attractive and different. Isabella was, in my opinion, the perfect character that this story needed to be bright, something that this series needed after so much darkness. I even had to grab some tissues when she left, the scene was super emotive. The only thing that doesn’t add up to me is why they decided not to include Shreya’s sister in the story. Being this a short book, inviting her to the castle would have been actually fun, and it wouldn’t have affected the main story. Despite this, I think justice has been done to Griffin. Yes! Finally he got the love he has deserved from the very first moment! I’m so in love with this boy (seriously, the only reason why I didn’t choose him was because I’m convinced that Beckett was the perfect match for my MC) and I was so disappointed that he never got the recognition he deserves for being a good guy, that it was awesome to see someone finally recognizing what a treasure he is.

Bloodbound: Dark Solstice (December 21, 2019 - January 11, 2020): At first, I didn’t understand why PB would release a Bloodbound holiday special when this is one of the darkest series in the app. I would have never thought that this would become my favorite seasonal book of 2019. So, we had the Dark Solstice instead of Christmas. And it was awesome! I know I’ve said this plenty of times, but one of my favorite things about a story is when the writers realize that there is more than a “main LI” and they do their best to balance the screen time and the interactions with all of them. And they did it. I also loved how the story was focused on Kamilah and Lily, instead of being focused on Adrian and Jax (as things usually are in the main series). Finally, we had something that took us out of what a Christmas book is supposed to be, and I’m thankful for that, as it helped us to “fight” the cheesiness we may have found in the other three books. But my favorite thing about this book has to be how they made things work with the main series. We had this awesome crossover with the Nightbound gang (who would have thought they actually met Ivy, Garrus and Krom before meeting Cal in Book 2?) that left me begging for a trip to New Orleans at some point during Book 3. We also had glimpses of Gaius and Serafine, which helped to link this book the plot of Book 2 (smart move!). And last, but no least, if you got all four pieces of the portrait, you got to see these new characters, all of them Japanese vampires. Who are they? Are they somehow related to Jax? How did the kid realize that things wouldn’t be the same after this solstice? What will be their role during Book 3? Will they be decisive characters? I have so many questions now!

Desire and Decorum: First Winter (December 22, 2019 - January 12, 2020): I have some mixed emotions on this book. As many of us, I was excited to see these people one more time after the beautiful final chapter that the writers gave us in Desire and Decorum, Book 3. But I’m not going to lie… I’m a little disappointed with the result. It’s not a bad book, but I ended up feeling that it was unnecessary; especially because it didn’t give us an actual new plot and it didn’t add many new things to the original plot either, as the other three seasonal books did. So for me, this is probably the weakest release of the season. Sure, it answered some questions such as how Harry and Miss Sutton got engaged and how Sir Luke and Cordelia (if you shipped them) didn’t get engaged during this period, but there was nothing too exciting to make this book memorable. Not even Henrietta was the annoying character we were used to see throughout the series. Probably my only “OMG” moment of the story was when we had the chance to make Constance to kiss someone under the mistletoe. I chose Prince Hamid just to see what happened, and it seems they actually ended up becoming a thing in the future… I didn’t expect that to happen, not at all! I also liked the fact that they remembered old traditions while trying to create some new ones, but for some reason, I felt the MC said that exact sentence so many times during the book that it ended up feeling “forced”. Instead, I think it would have been cute to see a main plot with the two brothers, our grandmother and even Henrietta teaching the MC about the old family traditions, our MC teaching them about her traditions with her mom, and then creating new ones with our husband/wife and our friends. Overall, the book left me a bittersweet feeling. I enjoyed reading it, but it lacks of that “something” to make it feel like a really special book.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #the royal holiday #the elementalists winters past #bloodbound dark solstice #desire and decorum first winter #the royal romance #the royal heir #the elementalists #the elementalists 1 #the elementalists 2 #BloodBound #desire and decorum #nightbound #choices the royal romance #choices the royal heir #the royal romance choices #the royal heir choices #choices the elementalists #the elementalists choices #choices bloodbound #bloodbound choices #choices desire and decorum #desire and decorum choices #trr #trh #te #bb #d&d

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010: 35 - 31

35. KEiiNO - “Spirit in the sky” Norway 2019

During the preshow I posited that "Spearwhil”  would be the Rasmussen but as it turned out-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT

No, Tom NOT NOW!!! I’m in the middle of my sentence. 🙄 Wait your turn Anyway, it turned out that ‘the Rasmussen’ really ought to be called ‘the KEiiNO’. Observe this Michal-esque rise up the scoreboard:

OutSzpak’ing Spzak. 😍 Let’s be honest though, it was-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NI-

- COMPLETELY DESERVED TOO.  Fred was especially great, who delivered EPIC yoik solo that I am sure won KEiiNO the televote on the spot. 😍

This particularly pleases me because I was worried Tom & Alexandra (who are both very good performers) would take the spotlight away from Fred, but no did the weakest link pre-show turned not only turn out to be the strongest one, but he was arguable the single strongest performer of finale night. SO PROUD OF THEM ANGELS. 😍 Let us all sing along

*cough* I said, “let us all sing along”

... 

(k Tom, now is ur cue)

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIIIIIGHT

THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE DANCING

HÅ LA HEI LOI LÅ

A lot of the criticism from KEiiNO comes from your typical value-seekers who can only enjoy themselves in public if their shallow trash comes coated in a thick layer of novelty gimmicks and Deep Meaning, so they don’t have to admit to others and themselves than they tune in to have fun, like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with novelty gimmicks & the like, but applying that standard to everything is taking it a tad too far. Sometimes, simplicity is key and that’s exactly what KEiiNO were: unpretentious, highly-addictive EDM adorned with epic yoiking. 😍 

_______________________________________________________________

34. Gianluca - “Tomorrow” Malta 2013

"Tomorrow” is, to use Gianluca’s own words, a curious delight: I always, always, always forget about it. Then I rewatch 2013 as I do at least once per year, and each time it’s like a Céline Dion song IT’S ALL COMING BACK TO ME and I’m in love again. 😍 “Tomorrow” is such a clever twist of the typical love song by telling the story from the THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE by an all-knowing narrator. It’s world’s merriest audiobook. 😍

Naturally, this works because Gianluca has TONS of charisma. He’s one of the most magnetic humans ever on a Eurovision Stage? 

It’s hard to believe that he ages like the rest of us, I’d assume he was birthed fully formed and clothed, at age thirteen, in whatever rests at the end of a Neverlandian rainbow. 

“Tomorrow” could’ve so easily been one of those “Annoyingly Positive songs”, but because he’s so relentlessly jolly, Gianluca injects “Tomorrow” with limitless happy energy, enough to melt the polar icecaps. I am happy that I don’t revisit Gianluca between watches, as I do with others, because each time I rediscover him it’s like finding a four-leaf-clover. 🍀

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33. Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - “Samo shampioni” Bulgaria 2013

IMA LI MLADI? IMA LI LYUDI? TSYALO SELO DOIDE PEITE NE SE BOITE

Let us continue with one of the most glorious trainwrecks EVER in Eurovision. 😍 Of course, this being the GOD-tier the severity of wreckage (aka the Sennek Factor) is even higher than normal. In the case of “Samo shampioni” the messiness began DURING THE PRESELECTIONS. 😍 Okay you may not remember or know this backstory, so allow me to enlighten you:

Okay, so *initially* BNT selected Elitsa & Stoyan and for some reason decided to hold an NF: They introduced: first a terrible rapbomination, second a boring ethnoballad (think Iriao + percussion) and then pulled out an experimental fusion of ethnic bagpipes, polyphonic singing and dubstep, which Elitsa openly pointed as her favourite. 😍 Obviously, the audience had to choose for the latter? NOPE The audience chose the iriao-esque ballad 😍 and in one of the most hilariously open displays of riggage, LESS THAN A DAY AFTER THE NF (and after Elitsa allegedly threw a huge backstage temper tantrum threatening to withdraw LMFAO), BNT produced a statement that was all like “well. we can’t send “Kismet”. 🤓 You see... it has come under our attention that... the songwriter from Argentina (lmao) can’t agree to the copyright terms we demanded of him 🤓but that’s fine because it means we can send “SAMO SHAMPIONI” instead 😊‘ <3333333333333333333333456789 who the fuck is Christer Björkman, fucking NOBODY that’s who. And of course, once “Samo Shampioni” finally got to Malmö it was an utter disaster. 😍 I say "disaster” in the best meaning of the word though. I LOVE when countries showcase their musical traditions, but Elitsa and Stoyan do it so aggressively, BLASTING the unassuming viewer with loud af bagpipe noises, following it up with a menuet of polyphony, a clarion of “AAAAAAAAAAAA-YUUUU” and a finale of dubstep and mayumaniacal percussion. “Samo Sampioni” was loud, abrasive, a clamour of ethnic noise but by the same token such a catchy, infectuous, delightful fucking BOP. No surprise it got jurypwned but it was well worth the effort. 😍

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32. Nadav Guedj - “Golden boy” Israel 2015

Welcome to the Dicedrome, ladies and gentlemen: Introducing the man who put Israel back on the map after four straight NQs. But Nadav is more than just a Hebrew Tom Dice. 

For starters, “Golden boy” is also the first time we were ever subjected to Doron Medalie (and also Imri Ziv but lol Imri), who is at his BEST here (apart from that moment when he brusquely shoved Cesár out of the way as if he were Krisse Salminen lmfao 😍): “Golden boy” has everything I could want in an uptempo party song: Drama, catchy rhythm, limitless fun, chanting, dancing and an absolutely ridiculous premise: sixteen year old boy gets wasted after fruitlessly flirting with all sorts of femfolk on his first night out. Yes, THIS

is sixteen years old. 😍 But what I mostly love about “Golden boy” is the humour. Intentional humour is really hard to get right and “Golden boy” NAILS it for me. From self-deprecating one-liners, to that choreography to b-roll material like the sound effect of beer being pourn as Nadav gets further into the song, to of course the epic finale of “THREE MINUTES! BYE :selfie”. 😍

A wild ride which, as serendipity demands, is topped off by Nadav kicking off a strong Israeli streak that indeed ENDS up with Israel winning the contest (with a worse Doron composition :-/) and him showing us around in Tel Aviv. Funny how life works sometimes, huh? 

OKAY GOTTA GO  THREE PARAGRAPHS BYEBYE

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31. Jessy Matador - “Allez ola olé” France 2010

Did you know “Matador” is Eurospeak for “SLAYER”?  😉

Speaking of EPIC party songs, I was looking “Allez Ola Olé” up for my usual ranking purposes and this song.. is one of the most successful Eurovision songs EVER? I am not surprised, because “Allez olla olé” OWNS, but at the same time random 12th placers becoming massive off-season hits <3

(yes I am aware it’s because it was the French “Waka Waka” but that’s even more hilar, actually. What on earth is it doing in Eurovision <3)

Anyway, “Allez ola olé” definitely DESERVES all praise it can get. ETERNAL THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE EUROVISION ELITISTS <3 it is of course the anti-Proud, being all rhythm and no story, literally having no purpose other than making people dance (which I LOVE doing to “Allez Ola Olé”... within the confines of my bedroom, with the curtains closed because I have the dancing skills of drunk JarJar Binks) and honestly, what a spectacle. 😍

It features, in order of ascending awesomeness, male twerking (gender equality <3)

witty references to sex (which I don’t mind here because it’s clearly consentual, and therefore, healthy, ICKOLAS)

“Je sens le truc monter/..😏 ALLEEEEZ 😱”. 

DAM BA DAM BA DAM BA DAM DAM

A fucking HAKA????? (btw, the female backing doing a salute is also lowkey great <3)

Actually, TWO HAKA’S????

This song may not have relevant meaning but my weave flew all the way to French Polynesia. “Allez, ola, olé” is nothing less than fucking AWESOME. 

In this update, we pay our final respects to Norway, Malta and France: Read more about them below:

NORWAY

I don’t feel like this chart reflects my true feelings on Norway, because I like them a LOT more than what their average implies. They’re largely just dragged down by a few bad entries in the first half of the decade. Norway in the second half of this decade has shown a lot of promise and they are on my list of countries that I expect to win in the upcoming decade. 

MALTA

Malta are a very average Eurovision country imo. As you can see, they very often select songs that are not worth giving a fuck about, but conversely the few times that they do, they’re usually excellent happy-go-lucky gems. I could see them winning if they find that rare 1-in-50 entry (by one of their jesc winners preferably), but only if they keep internally selecting their entrant because lmao MES(s)C <3

FRANCE

This is a really good chart for France and roughly what I expected. Not my favourite country but solidly upper tier. France really have reinvented themselves post 2016 and are reaping the rewards with generally higher results. I hope it gets topped off with another win soon. They deserve it. 

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #France #Jessy Matador #Allez ola olé #Israel #nadav guedj #Golden boy #Bulgaria #Elitsa Todorova #Stoyan Yankoulov #Samo shampioni #Gianluca Bezzina #Tomorrow #Malta #Norway #KEiiNO #Spirit in the sky

[awaylaughing]

Aaand More Changeling

This is...one 1/4 review and 3/4 impressions and opinions. It’s more non-spoilers but I do get into as much detail as I can so watch out JUST IN CASE. There is a link to a spoiler-y critique though, so don’t click that if you don’t want to see it. Also this is like, 3K long. So it’s loooong and if you are on mobile I am so sorry.

@steamberrystudio tagging you guys since you sorta asked, but like I said it’s long as heck so don’t feel pressured to respond to it any time soon.

OVERALL

MAN I love this game! It has a few flaws here and there (I swear in one route Spencer claims his left eye was blinded but I have...no memory which route that was...either Marc, Danny or Elliot??) but over all it’s well written with amazing sprites (ELLIOT IS SO CUTE AND I WILL KEEP SAYING THAT GUYS) and backgrounds. The CGs have been picked on a bit but I think really they have varying quality. I’m not super CG focused so I didn't hugely take notice tbh.

Onto characers/routes

Nora!

Nora is terrific. She's a fully fleshed out character with a coherent personality that remains true across all routes. Some routes, due to the circumstances, emphasize certain traits more than others but at no point does Nora just...became a different person to fit with the LI.

I will say though, just because she was coherent and well written does not mean she’s never frustrating. She is, after all, a teenager under stress. There's one route in particular where I wanted to smack her upside the head but that's just because one of Nora's key traits is non-complimentary to one of mine. I think it's probably a good sign of writing that I like her anyhow - and feel so strongly about it. She has flaws, she has strengths, and the two are not as clearly delineated as all that - what works in one scenario or route might be a poor coping mechanism for the next, etc.

I never tired of her, anyhow and I always rooted for her. She won’t be to everyone’s taste, but she is a solidly written character I forgive a lot of flaws when that’s the case. And I did actually like her over all.

Though I will say, I feel bad she never eats the breakfast her mom makes. #easilyguilted

Anyhow what more can I say...Nora's plot line is the key plot line here (I call it a sub-plot a few times but it's really a co-plot) and is handled more or less similarly in each route. How you get the answers to your questions varies, and the trouble you get in varies, but the outcome in the good endings is roughly all equal. This was a little unsatisfactory in one route (detailed below) because of what I consider "integration" issues with it's co-plots.

Also Nora's boy-phobia in every route is hysterical after you've played enough of them.

On to LIs – I'm doing these in the order I played them, so the reviews may reference one another a bit for comparison because I'm lazy and self-referential writing is easy.

Ewan

Okay so full disclosure – I always love anything Fae and I always like the Tall One(TM) so I am hugely biased in favour of Ewan. That said, his route is superb, with a huge focus on exploring Nora's life in a way that interacts with Ewan's. His story really unfolds in relation to how you interact with him - and not just in the obvious way but because, unlike some the plot in his story is very personal and very much reflects Nora’s progress.

The route really deep dives into what's going on with Nora - not just near the end but from the very start. It has a lot of Ally in it (more than Corvin's route, I felt) and plenty of Spencer. In general I'd say family is a strong theme through this whole route - not just yours. If that's the sort of story line you appreciate - I strongly recommend Ewan.

As a character Ewan sort of looks the part of the bad boy but doesn't really fall into any of the true stereotypical behaviour. What he does follow is really very reasonably applied and has ties to his actual personality. He has great banter with Nora and a solid personal arc that he is polite enough to explicitly spell out for you about half way/three quarters through.

Also in other routes he consistently overcomes his Ewan-ness in the name of sandwiches which is, frankly, adorable.

Since this story really gets into the nitty gritty of Nora's personal plot, it could feel slightly "spoilery" for the over all mystery. On the other hand, I found it really let me focus on the LI-related plots, since I wasn't trying to split my focus since I knew what was going on with Nora.

Lastly – this route has a key supporting character who I adore. Honestly he might be my favourite supporting characters just for being so damn cute (well, second, I love Ally dearly). This felt like a pretty “social” route, with lots of the other LIs popping in, a good amount of your parents and lots and lots of Spencer.

Over all, this is a very strong route and my personal favourite.

Corvin

Corvin's route is a lot more traditional than Ewan's. The content is definitely closer to a 50/50 split and the LI plot and Nora's plot don't really integrate the same way – but they do interact. Corvin's personal plot also ties into Nora in a way that really explores the world and a side-character you see in several routes. Like Ewan’s it’s a slightly more personal plot than some of the other routes, in that it really deals with Corvin’s own outlook and beliefs.

I did find Nora a tiny bit frustrating in this route - but really only because I'd done Ewan's first. So another thing to consider when choosing who to do first (if you haven't decided, if you were excited for someone before reading this do them first!!)

Corvin as a character is wonderful – he has an appreciation for Nora that's really very sweet and his interactions with the rest of the cast are generally either hilarious or sweet. Like Ewan, he's not shallow and actually has a very interesting personal plot that dives deep into a totally non-Faerie aspect of the paranormal.

Corvin’s route is a bit insular in the same way Ewan’s was, but with different people in play. This is not a bad thing – each plot line uses the characters it needs to get the story to work. No one feels “left out”, I’m just making note of things really (I DO have critiques they are just not right here). Lots of Ally still, and a decent amount of Spencer for people invested in their platonic relationships too.

Special note on the (best) ending here – I liked it a lot (a lot) because it really dived into some interesting aspects of the setting which sort of tips me as liking this route more just in general though Corvin’s over all sort of tied for 2nd for me. While not my favourite route, I consider it equal in strength to Danny, Marc and William’s routes (maybe Ewan’s? I’m biased okay).

Danny

This route is a lot of fun – it's the first one I did where I felt like I was dealing with actual antagonists. There is certainly conflict in the other routes and even interpersonal conflict but it’s a very different flavour than what you get in Danny’s route.

And also, Nora is so thirsty in this one (but she cannot be blamed...Danny is fiiine)

Danny is not complicated – again not shallow and totally has depth – but he is genuinely as nice as he seems when you first meet him. Like seriously – I was grinning like a deranged loon for a good chunk of their interactions because they're so damn sweet. You also get a slightly different “take” on Nora’s personal plot in this – since it’s all the same plot the revelations don’t change but the outlook of people involved do inform their opinions on everything. This is one of the key examples of the really solid writing you find in Changeling actually.

As for side characters - there are a few unique to Danny's route. I liked them - at the very least as plot intensifier if not because I actually would want to hang out with them. You also get more Vilos (swoon) in Danny's route than you do Ewan or Corvin's. That said, the route specific characters are great and I want so badly to wrap some of them in blankets and feed them lycanthrope-friendly foods.

Plus Nora gets to party with everyone in this one* and it’s fun**

Danny’s route is a lot of fun and I liked it’s conflict quite a bit.

*wherein party is used colloquially to refer to any event, not an actual party

**wherein fun is not an objective term

Elliot

Okay Elliot let's see...well first off I love Elliot so much. His route has what might be my hands down favourite scene in all the routes. I have a save right before it to go re-live it again. Frankly, Elliot’s just adorable and several times had me cackling with amusement. He definitely has a very touchy route, so good for those of you who like hugs*

That said this is probably the route I'm most torn over story line wise, going so far as to say it’s my least favourite route, despite having one of my favourite love interests. Elliot and Nora's interpersonal plot is great, and Elliot's plot is pretty strong but I feel like the integration of Nora's plot with Elliot's is the weakest. I think the issue is the one I alluded to at the start – there are three fairly major plots in this route and not enough time to settle them all properly. Indeed, the Nora-Spencer plot line in this one frankly feels like it needed way more work on it and the way it’s handled while understandable, isn’t really what I think it needed.

Nora also in this one bugged me a little – but it wasn't so much that Nora was hugely different as this route really brought out the personality trait (shown in other routes) that I least enjoy in her (as in, it's one that bothers me for IRL people too, not in that it's poorly written).

There's not much to say on side characters - this route has lots of Marc in it which I really enjoyed, not getting a lot of him in the other routes but not a tonne of anyone else. In fact, the cast is pretty much the Lewises, the Vampire LIs and [Brenna - who is fantastic] for a good chunk. There is a reason for this in story, and in the end you do see mostly everyone for the last chapter or two.

I might recommend doing Elliot first, because I think maybe I was a little frustrated more by having other endings to compare it to. Over all I would say I think this is the weakest route, almost entirely on the merits of its ending rather than the strength of individual plots or characters. My spoiler-y critique can be found here.

*Not actual hugs but this game doesn't include any sexual elements and I'm trying to be both informative and incredibly vague

Marc

I did not expect to like Marc as much as I do. I don't tend to gravitate toward the standoffish LIs but Marc is a swell guy. He has his reasons, but also he's hugely more than just standoffish with very clear desires in what he wants for you.

You get lots of Cryptic politics in this route so I looooved that and it meshes pretty well with Nora's plot because it does not require the same level of focus-switching as in some of the other routes, with “lower” stakes or ones that are at least very personal to the characters.

The side characters are good – I felt so bad for one of them in this just...honestly terrible. And also, I wanted to light them on fire. Yeah for duality~ William pops up more in this route too! He's a sweetie. And he has a great scene with you in chapter. There's a goodly amount of Ally, and lots of Spencer. So much!

Speaking of Marc strongly dislikes Spencer and I while feel bad for Spencer – and Marc definitely is projecting some personal issues here but – it's nice to have someone completely in Nora's corner (also, it's hilarious after a point, at least if you have a slightly evil sense of humour). So if you want to feel vindicated about Stuff, I suggest watching Marc snark on your brother.

Marc is another strong route with a good conflict that blends the personal and the issues of the wider Cryptic community well.

William

William is, as stated elsewhere, a cutie. And what a sad cutie he is! My instinct, tbh, is not to want to kiss him it's to teleport to Pine Hollow and adopt him and shower him with platonic affection while somehow not enraging his groupies.

Nora is...obtuse in this route – I know she's overwhelmed but she takes a bit to clue into something hugely obvious. I chalk this up to her gut instinct to normalize things as best she can, but it does grate a little bit (in other routes I've been hesitant to note it because I'm fairly certain a large part of it is my familiarity with her plot line, rather than things being obvious)...but she blames poor helpful wee friend in this and D':

Anyhow – though this isn’t my favourite route I do want to highlight one part of it. I mentioned in Elliot’s route there are balance issues. Well William’s route is a display of excellent writing that invokes that and makes the fact there’s so much to cover and so little time part of the plot and problem. It’s also got excellent pacing – like Ewan’s route I spent a lot of this on edge because I knew something was coming and was just waiting for the shoe to drop. When it did it was a very “oh shit!” moment.

This has a pretty good number of supporting characters. You meet Guess, who is mentioned in Elliot’s route but I don’t think any others, who is a very interesting character.

William’s route I think utilizes the conflicts inherent to the characters super well, and has a really fascinating divergence based on your choices.

Non-route stuff

Ally

Not a route, but she's a constant I need to say that I love her. She's clearly an excellent friend and her relationship with Nora is strong in every route – though as I mentioned slightly more or less present depending on which route. She's never ever erased from the story line though - so don't fret about an LI replacing her just because she gets less screen time in certain routes. In those cases, it really has to do with the scope of the subplots in play rather than a hierarchy of importance of relationships and Nora never “switches” focus because she found a “more important” relationship (quotations bc I think that concept is bullshit).

Spoiler Character

There's a character who's just...a walking spoiler so I can't speak to them other then I really like them a lot. They're role varies per route but I find them very interesting in each and the routes come together to form their personality. I actually like them a lot, despite their role in everything and wish we could have seen more of them. This character really shines in a few routes – William’s and Corvin’s I’d say.

Spencer

Best awful little brother ever, would constantly attempt reconciliation with again.

But seriously, I quite like Spencer and his involvement varies - there's tonnes of him in Ewan's route, the relationship is a bit more tense in Danny's route, but in general the same story beats are hit if you're trying to repair your relationship. Because I am a huuuuge sap I have not done anything but that, so IDK what it's like if you engage in mutually assured destruction tactics.

I will say Spencer varies a lot per route - so it could be you get a route where he's less likeable depending on where you start. I wanted to drop kick him in one of the routes, but he was plenty likeable despite being a jerk in mooost of the others (people with contentious sibling histories might find some of it difficult? I don't have any expertise in that so I can’t say sorry).

The Brownie

Cutie. Such a cutie. Again you see more of them (I am not up on my brownie sexual dimorphism nor their place in the gender binary) in Ewan's route (since it's the Fae route) and I love them dearly and feel weirdly protective of them. Also Nora calls them ugly and Nora is wrong. See first word: c-u-t-i-e.

#changelingvn #changeling #it's a review! #but like #barely #i focused on story bc i don't know shit about art of ui design lmao #i am made of opinions and trivia #and trivia has no place here #so have my many opinions

[feynavaley]

Hetalia Analysis – Canada’s Personality and Lack of Self-Esteem

Some time ago I was talking in a chat about Canada, and I was asked my thoughts on his personality. Instead of writing random snippets that can get easily lost, I decided to do an entire post about it. (Sorry it took me so long!)

Note: This is my interpretation. Clearly, it comes from an analysis of canon material, but other people could have reached different conclusions, and I’m by no means claiming that my interpretation is the only right one.

This said, let’s start with the basic facts. Canada is America’s (most likely younger) brother, who suffers under the curse of being constantly overlooked in favour of his louder and more visible sibling.

Source: Fly, Mr. Canada, fly! (hetarchive.net)

This strip is actually quite old (this is Canada’s first appearance, if I’m not mistaken) and things have gotten less drastic since then, people don’t completely ignore Canada. He still gets overlooked a bit, but those who notice him immediately take a liking to him.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 179

Does Canada realize this, however? It doesn’t really seem so. Every clue points towards the fact that Canada doesn’t have a good self-esteem, and while he longs for recognition he also believes that the fact he gets mistaken for America is his own fault.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 178

I think that this also opens the door for another interesting implication regarding the divide between a personification and his/her country. We know that Canada is proud of his country, and wants it to be recognized. He’s also extremely patriotic, as his room was completely covered in maple-themed items.

Source: Fly, Mr. Canada, fly! (hetarchive.net)

Even here, when Canada points out a positive aspect that should stand out more, he’s talking about his nation – while if you look again at the previous panel, you might notice that he isn’t criticizing his country, he’s criticizing himself. Everything Canada has problems with is about him as person, not his country. This is also why in this analysis I will touch only Canada’s characterization in terms of his personality, without delving into history (which is correlated in some points, I think, but I’m not a historian).

This aspect comes out also in other moments of the manga. Let’s have a look at the time Seychelles remembers about him, for example:

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 176

The first thing one may notice is Canada’s exaggerate reaction to being recognized. He truly doesn’t expect her to, as Himaruya pointed out in other panels, Canada isn’t used to being noticed. He has been forgotten or mistaken for other people numerous times before.

Source: Fly, Mr. Canada, fly! (hetarchive.net)

Canada’s first reaction in these situations is anger – however, it lasts only for a moment, the next one, Canada is already realizing that there are reasons for England mistaking him for America. While he would love to be more recognized and at the centre of attention, he doesn’t blame others for that. True to his lack of self-esteem, he immediately shifts the blame to himself, and instead of carrying on resentment for the times other Nations don’t remember him, he decides to treasure the times they do. He doesn’t behave like it’s something that’s owed to him, and his interaction with Seychelles shows this perfectly, he even feels like he has to repay her for the kindness. And how does he do that?

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 176

In an unnecessary, completely over-the-top showy way that is not like him at all. Basically, Canada feels like he has to change his personality even for a simple ‘thank-you’, he doesn’t believe that his personality is worthy of being recognized by anybody. And if you believe that I’m exaggerating, have a look at the way Canada tried to cheer up England after the Revolutionary War, after India told him that he needed to ‘heal his soul’:

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 196

The first thing that comes to Canada’s mind is to pretend to be America. He doesn’t believe that he can cheer up England on his own, he’s convinced that England would be much better if he saw America instead of him. One may argue that this is because America leaving was what made England sick in the first place, but I don’t think that this is all there is to Canada’s reasoning, especially not after seeing how Canada has been behaving since his childhood.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 192

When Canada first meets England, the very first thing he does is trying to be helpful. He doesn’t even introduce himself, or tries to get to know England – he just points out to the things England could exploit about his land. If this isn’t the behaviour of a person without any self-esteem at all, I don’t know what it is. This impression is furtherly cemented the following panels.

Canada is painfully surprised by the fact that England was paying attention to him. His words imply that he’s not used to it, and from his following reaction it can be evinced that he doesn’t think it’s something he deserves – he thinks that he has to work hard to deserve somebody taking care of him and considering him his family. (I actually have a theory on where this behaviour may come from, but this post is already getting too long, so it will be for another time.)

Things don’t change much as Canada grows up.

Source: Today’s Hetalia Preparation Course [5/27] 

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 180

Every time, Canada puts other people’s needs before his own and is very careful not to disturb them. It’s almost like he doesn’t think his needs are as important as other people’s – and this is typical of somebody with a low self-esteem.

In spite of this, Canada doesn’t wallow in his self-deprecating attitude, nor does he have a negative outlook. He’s a hard worker and generally approaches everything with a positive attitude, promising himself to do his best and trying to put remedy to his flaws.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 204

He’s also generally quite patient with people, as it is shown in the way he deals with both Cuba and Australia, easily forgiving their behaviour and never getting angry.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that Canada is perfect. He’s still a bit of a doormat (which can be easily linked to his lack of self-esteem) and his passive-aggressive attitude brings him to snapping instead of solving issues in a healthy way, like he does with America at least twice. This is also something typical of a person with a low self-esteem: they don’t want to cause trouble and always try to excuse people, but there’s only so much one can stand, which leads to snapping at one point.

I also find interesting that the only person Canada is ever shown getting truly angry at is America, his brother: the person he can feel more comfortable with, so the only one he can show his less-than-perfect personality to.

Another interesting note from that panel is that Canada manages to reduce America to tears: he can read him so well that he knows all his weakest points – as Himaruya said, he’s clearly observant and a good tactician, but he doesn’t seem to employ these skills unless he truly needs to.

In spite of this, Canada cares a lot for his family.

He takes care of England when he’s at his weakest…

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 195 (and look, another proof of his lack of self-esteem!)

…doesn’t want to choose between America and England…

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 181

…and in spite of his quarrels with America, he’s overjoyed when America starts warming up again to England, no matter the fact that this means he’s going to get less attention.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 204

In modern days, Canada goes out his way to keep up-to-date with America’s interests and be able to have a conversation with him.

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 179

This is also a behaviour typical of somebody with a low self-esteem. It’s almost like Canada thinks that America paying any attention to him is linked to Canada talking about the right things, not that America might be interested in Canada himself.

Or maybe I’m just over-reaching and Canada is just trying to be nice. However, everything about Canada points to him severely lacking of self-esteem, and his generally positive disposition can definitely be linked with this: people with low self-esteem rarely try to draw attention to their issues, because they don’t feel worthy of bothering others over them. Canada complains with Kumajiro, but when he’s with other Nations he tries his hardest to accommodate to their needs and in general is overly nice. 

Of course, Canada isn’t only that. His self-deprecating attitude isn’t his only personality trait – his kindness is probably genuine, and he’s also a dork who knows how to have fun. 

Source: Bamboo Thicket Nov 2, 2013

Source: Hetalia World ☆ Stars – Chapter 267

We shouldn’t also forget that, in spite of his dislike for conflicts, Canada has been stated to be a strong fighter.

In the end, I don’t think that Canada is only a weak person who can’t take care of himself, and he definitely doesn’t spend all his time crying over himself. However, I still feel like his lack of self-esteem plays an important role in his interactions with other Nations, holding him back from both being noticed and asserting himself when he would need to in addition to leading him to be a bit socially awkward because he over-thinks too much how to behave to make the best impression.

#hetalia #aph canada #aph america #aph england #analysis #character analysis #feyna speaks #feyna's headcanon #feyna talks about hetalia #there are other points I would have liked to touch #I hope I was clear #ghostlyshoes this was for you #I hope it's useful?

[eleanor-devil]

Naruto Fanfic - Boruto: Sacrifices - Chap.23, A Ghost From The Past

IMPORTANT: It would be very very appreciated if you reblogged it and left a comment. We get lots of likes/favs but almost no comments, so please everyone, leave a comment, it encourages us to continue.

Written by my friend @mirage-05

Cover by @eleanor-devil

prologue, chap.1, chap.2, chap.3, chap.4, chap.5, chap.6, chap.7, chap.8, chap.9, chap.10, chap.11, chap.12, chap.13, chap.14, chap.15, chap.16, chap.17, chap.18, chap.19, chap.20, chap.21, chap.22, chap.23, chap.24

For more Sacrifices stuff, click on this link

Chapter 23 - A Ghost From The Past

The day started relatively uneventful in Konoha. And in all truth, there weren't any reasons why it shouldn't be. The villagers were going through their usual daily routine. The biggest event had been the disappearance of one of the Sound prisoners who were under arrest, but his charred remains were found the next day in the woods and... it wasn't honestly investigated to the core. No one was surprised or saddened to hear the news. Good riddance. So while he was overlooking a bunch of excited Sarutobi kids, Ichiro didn't expect anything to happen. It was more showing off than overlooking - the kids were awed by his unorthodox weapon and skillful using of it. True, for the ordinary ninja the punji stakes were insufficient at best and laughable at worst, but for an expert - like him - they were pretty efficient for ambushing and information gathering purposes. This wasn't exactly a planned session, the children had found him and demanded (or rather, pestered) him to stay witht hem for a while, and even though this was his day off, he had decided to humor them. So Ichiro didn't really expect anything to happen that day. And it wasn't until half an hour into them being together that something happened.

He didn't hear at first the swoosh of a kunai slicing through the air until one of the children squealed and pointed to somewhere behind him. Instinct that was drilled into him since he was a genin made the young boy immediately turn on his heels and with a quick slash of his stake, he batted the weapon away right out of the air. What was that? Were they under attack? Or was this just someone's idiotic idea for a spar? He didn't really have time to think. He just saw a glint of metal through the thin sunlight before he called out to the children. "Huddle together!" Obviously scared, they did as they were told, and the teen rushed in front of them to shield them from the barrage of shurikens. The blades stuck themselves on the ground he was standing a minute ago. Damn, what was going on...? He turned around to see a hooded, masked figure emerging from the trees and standing there, just staring at him... or so he thought, from his position. "Keiko," he told one of the children. "Go warn Konohamaru-san." Not that he couldn't take on this one enemy alone but with the children... "But I'm scared..." "Hey, there is no need to be," the black haired boy glanced half back with a grin. "I'll cover for you, okay?" The boy seemed reassured by that - he quickly nodded a couple of times before rushing off. The figure just kept looking at Ichiro... and then, in one quick move, he pulled out two katanas from the sheaths on his back, holding them in an attack position. The Sarutobi raised his stake in response, and felt an almost mocking gaze beneath the mask. Then the man took a step forward. Ichiro was waiting just for that to start his show. With his smirk growing smug, he called on his chakra to activate the first trap, yelling at the children to get out of the way in the meantime. The soil beneath the assailant's feet immediately opened up, revealing the spikes beneath it. The man was clever, he managed to use chakra to stand an inch above the punji - but he wasn't prepared for the side wall that snapped close a second later. The man disappeared in a puff of smoke. Classic. The Sarutobi didn't lose a second and wheeled around to meet the katana that was coming for his head - encasing his stake with chakra to strengthen it. He managed to push back the man, but the bamboo had a tiny cut on where his control was likely the weakest. Ichiro didn't waste any time. "Doton!" he called, bringing two fingers in front of his face before slamming his hand on the ground. "Doryu Taiga!" The ground beneath them suddenly became like mud and started rolling back and forth, creating an unstable standing place. Not losing any time, the teen used his chakra to call forth more stakes hidden in the ground, directing it to the enemy. But suddenly... without any warning at all, he felt something bite him at the base of his neck, from behind. It didn't take long. One minute, he was standing there... and the next, his consciousness was slipping away, making him wobbly. He didn't even notice he hit the ground. ... The Hokage's office, on the other hand, was going through a very bustling day. "God damnit, here's another report," Shikamaru pretty much growled in between his teeth as he took a look at the said report, and then threw it on Naruto's desk. "That's the third case of mass child kidnapping today! What the hell is going on?!" "Any eye witness testimonies?" Naruto asked, tense, ready to jump out of his seat any minute. "Yes, actually. This Sarutobi boy, Ichiro... apparently he fought the assailant." "And...?" "Not much of a lead I'm afraid. Hooded and masked figure... really tall, quite capable in kenjutsu. That was all he could see before he was taken down." "Taken down? How?" "No details... no cuts or anything, but he's being checked for poisons in the hospital." The blond thought about it for a minute, brows furrowed, and then got to his feet. "Alright. I'll let Naruto know." The shadow clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. ... With the delicate situation at hand, teams were dispatched to help look for the children. After a quick roundabout around the village, Boruto and Sarada decided to split up to cover more area. Yeah, the assailant was armed, and if he had to be honest the blond was amused to find out that Sarutobi Ichiro had fought this man and lost (guilty as he technically felt aout it)... But they were experienced and the Uzumaki had full trust in himself and his teammate if it came down to a face-off. That made his thoughts wander momentarily to the field trip in Kirigakure... that time when they fought a 'childish brawl' with jounin level ninjas... and they had faced all kinds of difficulties but still overcame their opponents in the end... the three of them... from that day on, Boruto had always felt a degree of respect towards Sarada and Mitsuki. So he had no- What was that? He came to a sudden halt as his keen eyes caught a movement near the edge of the trees, his breathing accelarating. But... that... it wasn't even possible... That couldn't be... him... Was he just seeing Mitsuki now as a trick of his mind, just because he thought of the field trip? The moment Boruto blinked, no one stood in the place where he just saw his best friend. ... That had been close. He should've been more careful while they carried out the mission. Log had not seen the Uzumaki boy... not in a very long time, anyway. He still remembered it clearly, the one memory he shared with Mitsuki of his now best friend... that the younger wouldn't remember. [Flashback] "And he has to have his lunch at 12.00 pm sharp. Not later, so don't get yourself cooped up in that lab Orochimaru-sama, because if I get the impression that this boy was malnourished when I get back..." Log could see that Karin's rant was starting to get on his creator's nerves - it was apparent in the way that the sannin's eye had begun to twitch - which was actually something fun to watch, but oh well. Apparently, Suigetsu and Juugo had sensed the danger too. "Okay we're late already, let's get going." the white haired man said urgently. "Take her out of my sight." Orochimaru said, all in all in a calm manner, with the tiniest bit of threat. "That's not the last you hear from me! You should also..." "Do you have a death wish??" Suigetsu hissed at the redhead as the two men practically dragged her outside, and the older clone fell behind to them, choosing to go his own way from on top of the trees to put as much of a distance between himself and their antiques without losing sight of them. ... The walk around the forest was long and soon his three companions had to stop for a pause. Suigetsu pretty much crumbled to his legs as soon as they came to a stop. "Gee woman, what did you pack in my bag?! It's heavy as hell!" he complained as he took the bag and threw it to the floor. "Ow!" they heard from the bag. The Taka eyed each other. "Did... your bag just talk...?" asked Juugo carefully to make sure he didn't sound illogical. At this Suigetsu opened the bag. "What the?!" ...and out popped Mitsuki, rubbing his head with a hand while looking up at him, his eyes a little teared up, his lips pushing out in a pout. Log was down beside them the next second. Grabbing a fistful of the Hozuki's clother, he lifted him slightly in the air, a threatening look in his eyes. "Did you just dare to throw my brother on the floor?!" Karin, on the other hand, immediately rushed forward to get to the toddler. She brought him up in a hug, cooing. "Aw, I'm sorry, Mitsuki-kun, does stupid Suigetsu hurt you too much?" "How was I supposed to know I was carrying a toddler in my bag??" the man asked unbelievably. But one look from Karin made him shut up and cross his arms. Mitsuki sniffed a little before wiping away the tears and looking at Karin. "I'm 'kay" he said in his still not clearly understandable baby voice. "How did you get into the bag?" Juugo asked, approaching them and slightly leaning forward, his hands on his knees. "Does Orochimaru-sama even know?" Mitsuki looked at Juugo with his big round eyes. "Daddy knows, I say bye." Suigetsu scoffed. "So the snake man knew we were bringing his kid with us and choose to not say. Smooth, real smooth... so much for a free day..." Mitsuki gave a huge smile to him. "No worry. I stay good." "Yeah sure, kid, and I'm fire resistant." The child's eyes widened at that, curiosity taking over his childish features, and Suigetsu felt himself sweating a little. "Don't even think about it." he warned the toddler. And of course... the surprises of the day were far from over. ... At about midday after they had fed the toodler and put him to sleep... or so they had thought... "WHERE IS THAT KID?!" yelled Suigetsu as he looked everywhere, especially at the place they had left him sleeping. "Good lord, what are we even gonna tell Orochimaru-sama?" Karin was in full panic mode. Juugo was trying to keep his calm by the sound of it. "Will you two calm down? We will scatter and cover more area." Log, however, was already on trail. He had noticed Mitsuki quickly sneaking from his place when the Taka wasn't looking his way. Some caretakers, he thought, rolling his eyes. Mitsuki was in his line of sight. The older clone had decided to give him space unless something dire happened, because... the toddler seemed to be enjoying himself. He was stumbling across the leaves, following a white snake. "Wait!" he giggled. "Wait wittle snake!" As his brother waddled his way around after the snake, Log immediately noticed that they were no longer alone - which the three year old too noticed when he heard someone screaming loudly right in front of him. "Waaah, get away fwom me, snake!" Both toddlers weren't looking where they were going... and before they knew it, they crashed into each other, both tumbling to the floor. The little blond toddler seemed to be scared, rubbing his head with a little, chubby hand... looking at Mitsuki, he started crying... loud. "Boruto! Boruto where are you sweetie??" came a voice not too far from them, and Log hid himself behind the tree trunk, only sneaking glances now. "Mammaaaaaa...!" the blond boy cried in between tears. What happened next was curious and amusing. Mitsuki, who had been rather calm and quiet until then, just got up and pushed the other toddler - which made him stop crying and gape up at the blue haired. "Baka." Mitsuki said simply, and Log could only just imagine him pouting. He almost laughed. Was his brother... jealous? The blond pouted as well. "No. You baka." "No, you!" "You!" "You scawe wittle snake!" "You push me!" And they were at it - struggling on the forest floor. Maybe he should step in now (although he had to admit, he was having fun) but... two people were quicker than him. Log's eyes widened. "Hey hey hey, easy," a blond man picked Mitsuki up. Someone he had only seen in a photo... "What the..." The man turned his brother so that he was facing him now, although the toddler didn't notice Log - which was good. Apparently curious, the child raised a hand and touched the man's cheek. "Who are you little one? Where are your parents?" "No mamma... Daddy far..." Before the man could say anything more, Mitsuki leaned forward a little more and this time, touched the man's cheeks with his two hands. "Why you have whiskers?" he asked seriously, and then... squeezed the man's cheeks a little... The man laughed at that, and now the blue haired toddler was smiling too. "Easy there, will you?" the man said, his tone soft. "Why don't you tell us your name? My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and this is my wife Hinata and our son Boruto." Hinata gave the little one a warm smile and waved her free hand. "Hi there, sweetie." "Hi." the toddler turned to her with a smile. "My name's..." As always, Mitsuki was stumbling on his own name. "Mi...Mit..." he ended up pouting more. Boruto giggled. "Baka." "Boruto, that's not a very nice thing to say." his mother slightly chastized him. "Bobo." Mitsuki said, sounding a little... annoyed. "Baka Bobo." "Mikki." the blond toddler said in a victorious tone, and stuck out his tongue to him, obviously happy that he found a nickname as well. "Baka Mikki." he emphasized. With a humph, the toddlers turned their back at each other. "Alright, um... Mikki," Uzumaki Naruto said, making the toddler look up at him again. "Why don't we go look for your father then?" That was Log's cue to leave. He would just have to find a way to get Mitsuki away from them... [End of Flashback] The older clone was brought out of his thoughts when he noticed a small, white snake gazing up at him, almost expectantly. This was the very same snake he had sent all these years ago to direct his baby brother back home when the Taka managed to get the Uzumakis away from Mitsuki for a moment. From that moment on, it had been the younger's trusted companion and means of communication, much more than a pet. Koburo. So the mission was complete. Nodding once to the snake, Log left his post and disappeared into the woods. ... It wasn't until sunset that there were some news. Kakashi had just finished rounding the perimeter a mile out of town when he noticed Pakkun running up to him. "Kakashi, there are news!" The white haired man stopped himself. "Tell me." "We have an incoming report from the Inuzuka ninken. The children are found, not too far from here actually." The look in the man's eyes hardened. "Show me the way." And so they took off, fast. "Is the Hokage notified?" "I believe he will be there before us." It indeed wasn't too long before they reached  a clearing in the woods... a place just almost out of the borders of Konoha's forest. The children were there, huddled together under the shadows of large oak treas and a towering hill on the other side, creating some set of a natural border. The children were obviously scared, so much so that they couldn't even move an inch... but they were unharmed. And written on the stone just behind them, in what seemed to be blood (although of course it couldn't be, the ninken would know)... were the words... Kakashi frowned thoughtfully as he read them. "This was the last warning..." ... "Oooh man... I can't believe we made it here late." "Oh well... it's not that the staff minds, y'know." Sarada's tone was lighthearted as she and Boruto walked down the hospital halls. "And look it on the bright side... The children are found, and we made up that tribute for Mitsuki..." she smiled a little. "...and a lot of people contributed for that, too." Boruto didn't say anything for a minute, although he had a smile playing on his lips, too. "Well... I guess you are right. Today wasn't exactly..." he came to a stop as they reached their friend's room and noticed that they weren't alone. "Sumire?" The purple haired girl was startled a little when she heard the door slide open and the two friends walked in. "Oh... good evening, Boruto-kun... Sarada-chan..." "Good evening," the Uchiha greeted her back pleasantly. "How nice to see a friendly face here." "Oh... well, I thought he would like some company..." Sumire said with a small and gentle smile as she looked at Mitsuki. "And I figured it would be nice to have a change of flowers." She gestured to the small vase on the bedside table and there were indeed a new set of flowers in it... lilies. "That's very nice of you. Thanks..." "I'm sure he would've appreciated it..." the blond sighed as he took a seat next to the bed, putting his arms on the back of the chair. "...if he was awake, that is." Sumire's face fell a little with that too. "It's been long... isn't it?" Sarada sighed herself as she took the other seat and held onto her friend's hand. "Two weeks, to be exact. Mama said his wounds are healing, but... nothing gives away that he would wake up anytime soon..." "He will... he came this far, I have no doubts that he'll be back in no time..." the purple haired girl said encouragingly, and the smile on her face turned thoughtful. "I know that much from the time we fought..." That was right, Boruto thought as he looked up at the former class rep, they shared a memory with her about his best friend... "Why don't you stay for a little more, Sumire?" he asked lightly. "You see... we're trying not to leave him alone for too long..." "Ah." the girl was clearly surprised, but that expression didn't linger. "Sure... I would love that." Together, the three of them sat in silence for a minute. "I heard that you guys put up a tribute to honor him." Sumire said softly. "Oh. Yeah..." the Uzumaki seemed to brighten a little. "Well, it was Himawari's idea really. And you should see her... she is literally knocking on every door, demanding for a paper crane to make him feel better." He blond smiled a little at the thought of his younger sister. "A paper crane?" "Yep." the black haired girl nodded. "This crane god, or goddess..." "It's a mythical animal, Sarada." "Well yeah, I can't keep the entire story in my head unlike you. But anyways... it's said that if you collect enough paper cranes of various colorful origami papers... The crane will grant you one wish." "In this case... to have him back..." Sumire concluded, understanding. The friends didn't have to say anything to confirm... Boruto sighed once again, the look in his eyes absent-minded. "When are you coming back man...?" Of course that was a stupid question... but that had just been Boruto's inner wish speaking... "I... I just wish you give us some sign... I don't know,anything would do really..." The Uchiha kept on, her tone a little bitter, she just wished... no, she needed, they all needed this, to be a team again... to again form the proper, one and only team Konohamaru... ... He wasn't sure for how long he had been walking. Yet the blue haired boy kept wandering aimlessly around this strange place... where was he even? It was cloudy, literally many clouds covering his path, he couldn't see where he was walking, he was even afraid of... falling? Although he hadn't seen any end of the path... how long had he been there?? He couldn't remember... A black soul kept surrounding him, circling around him as he continued to walk and it clearly wasn't there to help him... from time to time, the soul would whisper in his ears. "You are not wanted..." there it was, again... "No one loves you, you're just a dead beat to everyone, a burden..." The child closed his eyes tightly and cupped his hands to his ears, as if that would stop the voice... He had tried it before, it was to no avail... But still, he had to try again. He couldn't bear to hear the enimosity in it. He doubted anyone could... He tried to take a couple more steps forward, to just... get away... maybe he could lose the entity... "You only have me now," the voice resounded, a merciless glee in it. "Just look at you... you're fading from existence... from the memories of those you... 'cherish'..." There was a cold and ironic emphasis on the last word. And to the child's horror and surprise, when he looked at himself, his body was starting to become transparent... it wasn't much, but... just like the voice had said, he was fading from existence... literally... He was scared... very much... there was no one there to help him... He just started to run, run... and suddenly, in the middle of his escape attempt... he was blinded by a strong light. The child covered his eyes and stopped in his tracks. Where was he now...? When he dared to open his eyes again... he frowned slightly in confusion. There stood a man a few feet away from him... long black hair and... white eyes... as white as the... place surrounding them, but somehow, not as terrifying... A faint glow in them gave the boy the illusion that he was - or used to be - a good person... "Who... are you...?" he managed to ask, and he was astounded for a moment how... distant and echoing his voice sounded. Was even his voice leaving him...? That thought sent a chill down his spine. The man knelt down in front of the child and put on a warm, calming smile... it was almost soothing for the boy, like he was... safe...? "I am Hyuuga Neji." the man answered as he held out his hand towards him. "I was sent here to help you." He blinked. To... help him...? How...? "...are you like the voice...?" Neji looked confused for a momnent. "The voice?" The child nodded. "It... keeps telling me that I am nothing... That... I'm all alone..." he shivered. The confused look was still there... but only for a moment before Neji started to understand what the child meant, and his gaze took on a thoughtful and sad quality. "No. No, I'm not like that voice at all." he said softly, and smiled a bit at the doubtful look on the blue haired boy's face. "Because I happen to be sent here by someone I value... and someone who holds you very dear to himself." "I-I... what...?" After so much time spent with that black entity constantly degrading him... this was such a foreign and stunning concept, so much so that it almost gave him physical pain... With his hand still held out towards the child, Neji tilted his head slightly to a side. "Yes, he cares very much about you and wants to see you again." Why...? He wanted to ask that... but the words wouldn't form in his mouth... what was he supposed to do? This person didn't look mean or bad like the black entity... "How can I... see that person again...?" Maybe, just maybe there really was someone who wanted to be with him. "You can come with me." "Will you take me to him...?" Neji shook his head. "No... but I can lead you to someone who can help you see him again." "I..." he looked at the hand for a minute, trying to make up his mind. He... needed to see that person... right? To justify it with his own eyes, to truly feel likke he was needed... "Okay," he mumbled finally, taking the hand. And to his surprise, either the contact or his determination... made his form a little more visible, a little more solid, which made him gasp slightly. Neji's smile intensified as he stood up but never let go of the child's hand as he lead him towards the other side of the light. "What is your name?" The child pondered on it... what was his name...? He seemed to have forgotten... at least he couldn't remember it clearly but strangely, there was a word resonating in his head constantly... maybe that was his name? "M... Mitsuki..." "Pleased to meed you." came the smooth voice of the man. "It's a beautiful name." "It is?" Behind his surprised tone... Mitsuki... was also a little embarrassed... He didn't even remember what his 'name' meant... Surely it would have meant something to... whoever that named him. "Yes indeed. It means full moon." The reassuring smile was still there. "And a full moon always creates a beautiful scenery." "O-oh..." he felt his cheeks burn lightly and something in his chest pumping fast... what was that feeling? But now he got curious as he looked back at Neji. "What... does your name mean? Does it create beautiful scenery too...?" The man let out a small chuckle as he thought about it. "Not exactly, my name's meaning isn't particularly... nice as yours. It means screw." Mitsuki tilted his head. Why would someone's name mean screw...? "But the person who wants to see you again... his name is connected to mine, so I guess that yes, my name, in the end, created something beautiful." The boy blinked. "Does his name mean screw too?" That actually caused Neji to laugh out loud, his voice echoing... and the child's cheeks burned even more. Was it ridiculous, what he said? "No, no it doesn't mean screw," the man said finally. "It means bolt... like a lightning bolt..." "A lightning..." he was trying, hard... to find the name associated with this meaning, but his mind had turned empty all of a sudden. "What's a lightning...?" "Mmm... well, let's see..." Neji looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's when energy gathers in a cloud and then lightning comes out from the clouds to release that energy. They usually have this shape." He tried to show Mitsuki how the lightning looked like by drawing it invisibly in the air. With the vaguely drawn figure in the air... suddenly it felt to the boy like the word... l-lightning... was so cold... so terrifying... so much so that a shiver went through his spine. He was confused... why would a name associated with a person who was supposedly his... friend, was it...? make him feel so uneasy...? His heart tugged unpleasantly, an unwelcome ad sudden pain. "Aw...!" he mumbled as he brought a hand over his chest, face crumpled in pain, actually remembering some kind of pain somehow, associated with that word, lightning... That didn't go unnoticed by Neji, he didn't know why the child had suddenly become so uneasy and with a clearly terrified expression in his features. "Did you remember something...?" It was all he could guess, souls couldn't really... feel something like they were alive but they could feel attached to a feeling because of memories... "I... I d-don't know... i-it hurts... l-lightning... I..." For a moment, the Hyuuga didn't know what to say as the child before him was rendered silent. Continuing with this topic... clearly didn't seem like a good idea... it was never easy to see a spirit in distress... nonetheless, a young spirit such as this... "Can you remember... anything that makes you feel better? Safe...?" he asked carefully, trying hard not to scare Mitsuki more. "B-birds..." the child whispered, not knowing where that word came from... He looked up at Neji with his big, scared golden eyes. "I... like birds..." The man tilted his head. "Birds huh? I do like birds myself, you know... it's a mythical bird but my favorite is the phoenix." Mitsuki blinked... he couldn't remember if he had heard of it. "P... hoenix...?" "Yes, it's a bird of fire, a very beautiful one that symbolizes rebirth." "R-rebirth?" the child stammered on the word, for some reason it sounded so hopeful... as much as he dared to hope, of course. "Indeed." Neji said with a gentle smile. "There is a myth surrounding the phoenix that whenever it reaches the end of a cycle... it will be enveloped in flames, only to be reborn from its ashes. So you see... it's an immortal bird." They had not been walking for too long, but Neji could feel that they were nearing their destination. So he stopped in his tracks and looked back at the boy, who in returned looked at him, befuddled. Why had they stopped? "We are almost here to see the person who wants to see you. Are you ready to go?" Mitsuki was silent for a bit. "I... I can be a phoenix...?" "Anyone can be, that all depends on them and their final decision." The child thought about it for a moment... he didn't know what his final decision would be yet... he was still confused and scared about many things... There was still so much he didn't understand at all... Maybe this person could truly help...? He let out his breath slowly, closing his eyes for a moment before reopening them. "I'm ready." he said in a decisive tone. ... That was when it happened... As if hearing their prayers, their voices, their wishes... Boruto and Sarada felt a soft pressure on their hands and the beeps of the heart machine seemed to accelerate in speed. "W-what...?" the blond murmured as he looked at the machine, feeling the pressure on his hand. The girls practically jumped to their feet. Sarada felt her pulse quickening as she carefully looked at Mitsuki's face, and gasped. "Boruto!" she cried out, and in that one word was reflected relief, happiness, so many positive feelings... Glancing at his friend, Boruto gasped himself when he saw the younger boy's eyelashes fluttered a little, and he barely saw a flicker of gold beneath them. "Sarada, we have to inform your mom!" "On it!" Sumire said quickly as she rushed out of the door. The blond's eyes were only on his best friend as he leaned a little over him. "Mitsuki...? Mitsuki, can you hear me??" "Come on... I knew you can do it..." Sarada was practically in tears, half-smiling in between them. "We are here... we are all waiting for you to come back..." And they continued to try and get some reaction from him... excited beyond belief... they weren't getting one but his eyes were definitely open... even if it was just a little... It didn't take too long before Sakura came hurrying in, Sumire close behind her. "Boruto, Sarada, step aside please!" the woman said as she lit a small lantern and approached the bed. She quickly did the basic check-up, controlling the boy's vitals, his eyes were still open, just a slit... But just when Sakura was about to finish the control, they were closed again. His signs, however, while there wasn't any big changes... the pink haired medic realized, with a slight relief, that he was... breathing a little more easily... "That's definitely an improvement..." she whispered to herself with a soft smile, and her eyes drifted to the window. Where she saw a big, brilliant full-moon sending its soft rays into the room. "W-well aunt...?" Boruto hesitantly asked, hope filling his voice. The girls were equally anxious. Sakura sighed once again before turning to the children. "He is not awake..." Hope left the kids' eyes as they looked down. "But... he is definitely healing. His breathing is much better, we can remove the mask and change it for the breathing tube." "We... we were so sure..." Boruto mumbled as his gaze once again drifted to his friend, sadness clear in his eyes. "We felt him squeezing our hands..." Sarada mumbled. "Well... those happen when his body starts healing, but his mind takes a while to come back," Sakura tried to explain, smiling softly and encouragingly to the children. "But don't you lose heart... This was an important first step." She touched the children's shoulders before pulling them into a hug. She rubbed their heads before turning around to face Mitsuki.... and the moon... 'Please bring him back...'

#naruto #boruto #mitsuki #neji #sumire #sarada #sacrifices #log #orochimaru #suigetsu #juugo #karin #hinata #oc #ichiro

[evabellasworld]

Death of Mandalore

Chapter 2

AO3 Link | 1 | 2

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Summary:  After murdering Chancellor Palpatine of the Galactic Republic, Vanya Doyvesky joined leagues with both Death Watch and Darth Maul, hoping to reclaim her Mandalorian warrior heritage. But with broken promises and betrayal against Death Watch and Maul’s crime syndicate, the former Mandalorian Jedi had to choose the right path not only for her but for Clan Doyvesky as well.

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Placing her knight beside her younger sister’s bishop, Vanya snatched her chess piece from the board and placed it inside a box. Katrina could only let her lips curve upwards as she moved her queen forward, sacrificing her knight. “Should have seen that coming.”

Vanya breathed deeply as she stared at the chessboard, contemplating her next plan. Unlike her, Katrina wasn’t so proficient in the game of chess, as she was often defeated by her two older sisters, especially Vasilia. As the oldest in the Doyvesky clan, Vasilia was not only the smartest in the family but also wise, as she often found a compromise in conflicts within the family.

Vanya, on the other hand, was not as tremendous as Vasilia, but better than both Katrina and Irina, who were the baby in the family. Though Katrina made a good move against her, the former Jedi Master had a backup plan, in case things went wrong. Moving her sixth pawn one step forward, she rested her head on her palms, looking at her sister.

Katrina propelled her queen a step forward, making Vanya bob her head. The latter moved her sixth pawn, pushing the opposing piece away from the game. Eyeing her bishop, Vanya hoped that her sister would be foolish enough to let her queen kill her pawn, as a way to capture the most powerful piece in chess.

According to her mother, the queen was the strongest and the most useful in the game of chess. Without it, the player would be more vulnerable to their opponents and more likely to lose the game within seconds. That was the most important lesson Vanya learned when she first played before she was shipped away to Coruscant for her Jedi training.

Noticing Katrina’s playful smirk, Vanya scoffed to herself when she moved her queen diagonally, placing it above her king, the weakest piece in chess. She couldn’t believe it. Vanya was certain that she was going to beat her sister and win the game. She anticipated every movement Katrina would make, ensuring the former her victory. She blinked back her eyes and wondered whether she was trapped in a dream, where she never woke up.

“Checkmate,” Katrina declared. “I beat you, Vanya. I finally topped you, after all those years of losing against you.”

This isn’t fair, Vanya thought, tightening her lips. How did I lose against someone who barely knows how to shoot at the right target? That can’t be possible.

“I won, Vanya,” she chuckled, waving her hands at her older sister’s face, trying to grab her attention. “I triumphed in the game of chess. I beat you, fair and square.”

“I don’t believe it,” muttered Vanya, her face frozen. “I lost to you.”

“Yeah, you lose, so what?” Katrina lifted her shoulders. “It’s just a game anyway. It’s not like you’re playing in a competition or something.”

She only gave a solemn nod as she got up from her seat, giving her hand. “Your skills have improved,” Vanya forced a smile. “I am proud of you.”

Katrina grinned as she shook her sister’s hands. “You did well too, Vanya. It was a good game, and I had a lot of fun playing chess with you.”

“Tell me, how did you improve anyways?” wondered Vanya, breaking the handshake. “Last time we played together, you were checkmated in just three minutes but my oh my, how the tables are turned.”

“Do you really want to know the truth, Vanya?” she raised her eyebrows.

“Well, I would like to learn from the champion, of course. As my old master once said, the best way to win is to understand your opponents, and that is exactly what I am doing right now.”

“To be fair, I didn’t play to win,” Katrina revealed the truth. “I only participate in the game just to learn from you, and from what I’ve gathered so far, you were full of yourself.”

Vanya scoffed, before feeling goosebumps sprouting on her skin. “How did you know that?”

“It's obvious,” shrugged Katrina. “Look, I may not be a Jedi or have this Force power you have but from your facial expression alone, it was crystal clear.”

“How so?” Vanya crossed her arms.

“You don't realize it but whenever you're cocky, you're always playing with your fingers, and I merely took advantage of it.”

“I do?” she gasped, her eyes widened.

“Yeah, you do, Vanya,” Katrina chuckled. “You just don't realize it, that's all.”

Blinking her eyes, she nibbled her fingers as she glanced at Katrina, wondering how long she had been doing this. Obi-Wan never mentioned her bad habits, and neither did Lira. But yet, Vanya recalled when she and her master would play the same game together and what he told her when she was beaten.

“You play with your fingers when you think you'll win,” she recalled, making her gleam. She never realised it, but when her master pointed them out, Vanya would be shocked, before forgetting about it over and over again. As her mother would say, old habits die hard.

“Vanya,” Katrina called her name. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, before snickering softly at her. “Yes, I am here. It's just that no one, except for my master and you, actually pointed out one of the worst habits I've had since I was younger.”

“Really?” the second youngest Doves laughed along. “Not even Mama and Papa know about you playing with your fingers all the time?”

“Nope, they did not,” Vanya shook her head, continuing to laugh. “Usually, they notice when I'm not my usual self. As for my habits, however, they only point to my face and seem more intimidating and fierce to everyone I meet.”

“Oh yeah, you've got Mama's resting face. It's a thing in our family, apparently.”

“And so do you, but yours aren't as noticeable as mine, so you're lucky.”

“Right,” Katrina rolled her eyes. “Doesn't stop some guys and girls from walking away from me anyways.”

“Well, maybe they thought you were so good-looking that they were too scared to ask you out,” she teased, nudging her shoulder.

“Vanya, you're the prettiest in the family,” praised Katrina. “You are so gorgeous that people slow down just to admire you from a distance.”

“Oh, shut up,” Vanya playfully shoved her sister aside as she walked out of the tent, gazing at the lush, green jungle and the yellowish sky.

It was a different view from what she was used to on Coruscant, not that she's complaining. Unlike the concrete floor, she found herself on moist dirt, along with the ferns and fungus that spread all the way to the trees. “It's peaceful here,” she complimented. “If I lived here, I would have never left the planet in the first place.”

“But what about Mandalore?” Katrina asked, sitting on a small rock. “Isn't that where we were born and raised?”

“Mandalore was always plagued with war. Bombs, shootings, looting, that's how it was before Satine decided that pacifism was a good idea.”

“Don't say that,” she hushed her. “We don't give a wrong idea to Vizsla that we're against him, and Maul too.”

“Are we, though?” doubted Vanya. “Especially when both leaders are going to betray each other eventually?”

“You can't just assume that.”

“Oh, but I overheard their whispers, and it's not a good kind.”

Katrina's brows furrowed. “If what you're saying is true, then what can we do about it? How do we choose who we fight for?”

That was a good question. Vanya knows that Vizsla and Bo would betray Maul and Savage once he took over Mandalore, but she was aware that Maul and Savage had other plans as well. So far, she did what Maul asked by poisoning Palpatine with a cherry tart in exchange for her to be with her family again and take back her homeworld from the colonizers.

And she's grateful that she gets to spend more time with her parents and her three sisters, Vasilia, Katrina, and Maria. But knowing that things will go wrong, Vanya doesn't know who to trust. The Death Watch was the reason why they were here in the first place, but Maul was the one who convinced her to fight for her warrior heritage in the first place. What should I do?

Then, she thought about Vasilia, who was discussing with Vizsla and Maul about the attack on Mandalore in the briefing room. “We'll have to discuss this with Vasilia then. She’ll know what to do.”

#star wars #star wars ocs #star wars original characters #star wars fics #star wars fanfics #star wars fanfictions #darth maul #pre vizsla #bo katan kryze #obi-wan kenobi #satine #duchess satine #duchess satine kryze #jedi #jedi knight #jedi master #mandalorian #mandalorian jedi #mandalorian ocs #vanya doyvesky #obitine #obi wan x satine #palps is dead

[i-growl-growl-growl]

Do you like mpreg? What about any of Exo or NCT members announcing to their lover they’re pregnant? (but if u don’t like mpreg - that’s totally fine if you won’t fill this :)

Nah, I’m perfectly fine with it. I’m fine with anything really unless it’s pedophilic or racist and (I myself am also not so great with fluffy stuff but I don’t mind it). 

This seems like it’ll have an extremely fluffy feel to it (according to how I… ?define?… fluffy) but I’ll give it my best try but I won’t guarantee that it’ll be good since it’s my weakest link in writing genres. 

I’m also going to mix this up with some EXO members and some NCT if that’s alright with you.

~Savie

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Luhan: Luhan wanted to make sure that the announcement was perfect from the location, the time, the date, he’d even come up with a speech and plan a celebratory dinner and go for dessert after. He’d work on memorizing his speech, imagining that his reflection in the mirror was his partner so that he wouldn’t seem too caught off guard once it was time to actually tell him. “H/p/n, I have some very big news. I know it might come as a shock especially since you’re the one who wanted this to happen to you but it’s happening to me instead. I know we’ve been trying for a long time since the media and my fans have learned to support our relationship but up until now nothing has happened. H/p/n, I want you to know that I love you and I always have and always will, my life has been so much brighter with you in it and I look forward to living a long and happy life with you but there’s something else that we’ll live with for the rest of our lives and I hope you’ll love it as much as I will even though you’re not the one bearing it like you wanted to. H/p/n, I’m pregnant!”

He’d come close to getting caught practicing his speech by his partner several times but his partner’s timing is just barely off the mark so he’d come home and find Luhan blushing at the mirror and wonder what the hell was going on but Luhan would just brush it off by saying “Oh, no there’s nothing wrong here. I was just admiring my natural handsomeness and thinking about yours. I really think we make the perfect handsome couple haha.” At that point his partner would give him a weird look but break as a slight chuckle escapes his mouth, “you’re so cheesy Lu! Sometimes I wonder how I ended up dating such a dork like you.” “Yeah, haha ha *nervous laughter* same!”

On the day of the announcement everything would be going better than planned: He was able to schedule a fancier car to drive you around in than he’d originally planned, the diner said that they’d give him a special reservation on a private balcony of the restaurant, the dessert venue was baking him a special chef choice dessert along with a large sampler platter of all the other desserts they had to offer which would be ready upon his arrival, the part of the park that he had planned to make the announcement on was lit up perfectly and the Chinese magnolia trees were all in bloom, everything was perfect,that is until he and his partner arrived at the spot. “So what’s going on?” h/p/n asks, “clearly it’s something special since the place is all dolled up.” “Well uh, actually yeah there is uh haha…” it was time to tell h/p/n about the pregnancy but the speech that he’d practiced and prepared wouldn’t come out of his mouth- he was a stuttering, blushing, fidgeting, awkward mess. his partner would have to push him to speak, “Luhan, what is it?!”

“I uh, we are uh, well there’s this thing uh…” “Luhan just tell me. You can tell me anything.” “Yeah I know uh I know” he wouldn’t be able to look in his partner’s eyes, he’s so nervous “well we have um well uh…” “Luhan just spit it out already!” h/p/n chuckles worriedly “I’m, I’m pregnant! haha”

Baekhyun: Good god his announcement would be soooooo out there! Like honestly what would anyone expect otherwise? He’d make the announcement so fun and embarrassing and just completely weird and everyone could be damn sure that he’d capture the announcement on video to send to others and look back on in the future no matter how many times his partner would end up screaming at him and begging for the video to be deleted due to overall 1000000000% embarrassment! Seriously no one could stress enough just how embarrassing it’d end up being. Baekhyun would look up great songs to announce a pregnancy and find spoofs of popular pop songs and ofc he’d choose one of them gfdi  ! 

On the day of the announcement Baekhyun would call his best bud Chanyeolie the Yoda over to put up decorations all across the house: in the living room, in the dining room, in the master bedroom, the extra bedrooms, hell he’d have so much decorations and he’d go so far out with the whole thing that even the garage and the bathrooms will be completely bombarded with pregnancy announcement decorations. It’d take weeks to clean up! and that’s not including the snacks and main dishes and beverages for all the people who were going to attend because he wouldn’t make this a private deal OH NO! Everyone and I mean EVERYONE that Baekhyun knows would be there for the announcement. “hey Baekhyun, do you want these “congratulations” tapestries hung up in the bathroom shower?” “Hell yeah man, you know it! Oh and put one on the lid of the toilet to while you’re in there and don’t forget to put the “it’s a baby” soaps on the counters!” “yep, I got it bro!” “Awesome sauce!”

After his partner has had a fairly long day at work he’d come home to a completely dark and unusually quiet house. he’d park his car in the drive way and press the lock button listening for the beep before heading up to the porch of the house. He’d scramble around in his pockets to find his house key then unlock the doors, severely oblivious to the shocking surprise that awaited him once he’d step through the house doors. 

Upon entering the house all of the lights would turn on simultaneously and people would pop out of seemingly every nook and cranny  of the house yelling “SURPRISE!” and “CONGRATULATIONS!” H/P/N would stand in his place against the door where he had jumped back to when it all happened and he’d look around wondering what the F**k was going on and what the whole “congrats” was for. H/p/n would look around a see that the visitors are all people that Baekhyun must know because he’s never seen some of these people in his entire life! As he continued to look around a pathway would open up and there, in the middle of the living room, standing by himself would be the one and only alien Baekhyun with the widest, stupidest grin on his face! “CONGRATS TO US!” he’d yell before music would start pumping from large speakers that were set up around the house. What song was playing you ask? A spoof of LMAO’s “I’m sexy and I know It” — “I’m pregnant and I know it!”

Everyone in the house would start dancing around like complete fools expect for h/p/n. “Yah, h/p/n! Come join meh and yur babee on the dance fluur!” Oh how his partners face would be blushing the same color red as a bright, shiny lobster tail.

Yuta: Yuta wouldn’t want his pregnancy announcement to his partner to be too public but he also wouldn’t want it to be private either. Despite the risks Yuta would really ReAllY REALLY want to make the announcement at someplace like a park (during the daytime), or at a concert of one of his partner’s favorite bands that he could take him to. Yuta would brainstorm, but not too much, about how to do it and when before finally coming up with a plan. The timing of the pregnancy was perfect because spring had just rolled around and shown it’s beautiful face. NCT was let off to take a break for a few weeks before a large promotion would take place so Yuta bought tickets and told h/p/n to pack up because they were going on vacation, “Where are we going?” “You’ll see. I want it to be a surprise so you’ll have to wait until we get there to find out!” he smiles. 

When the plane arrives at the destination Yuta and his partner will leave the airport before Yuta happily exclaims “WE’RE IN OSAKA!” they’ll head to their hotel and get situated before Yuta excitedly pulls on h/p/n’s arm telling him “hurry hurry, we need to go somewhere before it’s too late!” “before what’s too late? Yuta what has gotten into you today?” “You’ll find out just please hurry up! We need to go!”

Upon arrival at the place Yuta so desperately needed him and his partner to be at his partner will find out that it’s at a Cherry Blossom festival and there’s hundreds upon thousands of people lined up on blankets under the blooming trees. Yuta will tug at him to follow him before they both reach an empty spot and Yuta lays a blanket down along with a basket of food and beverages. The area is alive with people chatting and it’s nearly impossible to hear each other over the surrounding conversations. This is the perfect place and time to make the announcement! 

“H/P/N! I have an announcement I need to make” Yuta nearly screams into his partner’s ear (even then they can still hardly hear each other). “What is it?” his partner yells back into Yuta’s ear. “By this time next year it won’t be just the two of us coming here!” ‘What do you mean?! Will the rest of NCT be coming with us?!” “NO! No Silly!” By this time next year we’ll both have a beautiful baby joining us for the trip! Our beautiful baby!”

Ten: Ten would want to be creative with his pregnancy announcement to his partner. he’d think of a way to tell his partner without the whole thing being embarrassing, or public to anyone other than themselves but he’d definitely also plan another, separate pregnancy announcement for everyone else once he’s further on in the early stages of terms of pregnancy where h/p/n and himself would make the announcement together to the NCT member’s and staff and maybe even to the public all at once- sort of. He’d look up clever ideas on youtube, on pregnancy sites, hell even on the limited social media sites that he had kept without SM noticing.Ten would admit that there were some great ideas that he found from online but most of them included the risk of major embarrassment or facing a large crowd of people so he’d be left to brainstorm on his own since that’s definitely not what he wanted. 

One day, as Ten is taking a break from explaining to Lee Soo Man that he won’t be able to exert as much energy or work as hard, and eventually at all for awhile, as he usually does he finds a bag of candies wrapped up in his lunch box that his partner had packed for him that day. When he unwraps the clear plastic bag to enjoy the sweets and is holding one of the small, round candies in his hand an idea hits him like a speeding train. This little candy was the perfect specimen to use as an announcement to h/p/n! The small jelly bean was the perfect size for an example of the baby that he’s currently carrying and probably even the same shape! Ten would preserve the little sweet that had helped him come up with his plan and take it home to use for later, then he’s preserve it in a memory book that he’s begun as a reminder of this adventure.

When Ten arrives home he’ll find h/p/n sitting on the couch with a wine in his hand. “Oh Ten! You’re home early, here I’ll go and pore you a glass” “Oh no no no, that won’t be necessary, I won’t be able to drink that sort of stuff for a long time.” His partner would look back at him quizzically “what do you mean you won’t be able to drink it?” “Well uh” Ten will pause to open up his lunch box and pull out the small jelly bean, once he has it in his hand he’ll hold it out to h/p/n. The look his partner gives him is even more confused than before “oooookkkk what does a jelly bean have to do with you not being able to drink with me?” “ten will look from his partner to the piece of candy in his hand, “well my handsome man, you see, this little jelly bean isn’t a normal jelly bean!” 

Ten’s partner would look at him like he’s lost his god d**n mind. “I… well you see” Ten pauses again to hold the jelly bean against his stomach “this jelly bean is very precious and very vulnerable it is easy susceptible to otherwise non-harmful things such as drinking alcohol or staying in Jacuzzi-s for too long, I also cannot eat any raw fish because if I do this little jelly bean will get hurt.” It would take his partner a moment to understand what Ten is getting at but when he figures it out he’ll pull Ten into a barely tight bear hug and tell him how proud he is to have him as his partner “I’ll look forward to raising a family with you and you’ll always be special to me Ten! I love you, I really F**king love you!”

#nct reactions #nct reaction #exo reaction #exo reactions

[xellandria]

I switched to demon hunter when BfA came out because my guild needed to bring the 5% magic damage debuff and I was struggling to find a class/spec I actually enjoyed playing after they removed ranged survival and didn’t give any sort of second-best substitute.  It’s now been sixteen months and I’m beginning to get incredibly frustrated with my DH—I like her as an alt, but I feel incredibly constrained by her aesthetically because the pool of warglaive or warglaive-like appearances is so tiny (and isn’t likely to grow very much any time soon).  It’s dumb that that’s the kind of thing that can tilt me as hard as it’s been tilting me, but I’ve basically exhausted the appearance pool at this point.

Anyway I told my raid leader that I’d give him a concrete decision on what I was doing for 8.3 by the end of the year, which means I have to figure out what, if anything, I’m going to main switch to.  The big problem is that getting raid-ready at this point takes significantly more time and effort than it ought to at this point in the expansion, because there are no catch-up mechanics for the 8.2 Azerite Essences, and 8.3 isn’t actually going to help with that as far as I can tell (it’s lowering the rep requirement for two of the essences, but isn’t lowering the time or specialized currency requirements for most of the others).  Artifact knowledge helps with unlocking the slots and the 3% stamina bonuses and that’s in a good position, but unfortunately that means nothing when you’ve got nothing to put into those slots in the first place.

So I need to go through and figure out what I’m doing, and since I’m going in circles in my head about it I figured I ought to actually go long form on this MFer.  This is... going to be long, probably.  I don’t know if it’ll even help.  Let’s find out, I guess.

Shaman (elemental focus): + Hybrid (melee, ranged, healer) + One-spec hybrid (no expectation of having to know, gear up, and play both DPS specs the way a mage would) + Mentioned specifically as a thing we could use (ele) + Decent transmog pool (+KT heritage if race changed) - Still has a lot of baggage from when she was my main TBC-MoP - Resto not a fun or intuitive offspec - Condensed Life Force and Blood of the Enemy essentially required (multi-week raid + battlegrounds PvP) for ele - Turret caster (not my preferred playstyle)

Druid (all four specs viable to varying degrees): + Hybrid (melee, ranged, tank, healer) + Best possible offspecs (resto druid has a long history of being good to me in 5-man content, guardian makes sense and meshes well) + Long history and great library of fantastic transmog options with matchable weapons (both 1h and 2h) + Could also be a KT if I really wanted to give up shadowmeld (which is a v tall ask, but y’know) + Currently actually has my name on Skywall (no more having to stop and think before calling something out bc my character name isn’t the name I go by nonsense) - Balance is incredibly unintuitive to play and makes me feel real dumb real fast - Feral is also really not super great (and is melee, and severely limits mog options due to the way the legion artifact cat skins works) - We already have four in raid (one feral, two balance, one resto); would be very obvious very quickly that I’m the weakest link + Vision of Perfection isn’t as good as CLF for balance but only just barely and would at least be an acceptable stopgap while the incredibly long CLF acquisition period happened

Warlock: - Pure DPS (queues and group finder for catch-up, leveling, or maintenance going to be long with no option to play something less fun for less time investment) + Survivable in solo content (ty voidwalker) + Versatile(ish) playstyle with three specs to choose from - ... but that sort of implies that you have to know and play at least 2/3 (if not all 3) - Affliction is the ultimate multi-dot tracking spec and I’ve never found a good way to do that for me + Affliction is as mobile as casters get these days (and as close as you can get to ranged survival in the current game, fuck you blizzard) +/- Unexciting transmog options (but at least since I’ve never mained a clothie it’s all essentially new; on the flip side it also means I don’t own a lot of it already so I’d have to go out farming) - Wands are still A Thing™ - Destruction and Demonology are turret casters - CLF and Blood of the Enemy both incredibly strong (VoP is almost equal to CLF for destro)

Rogue: - Pure DPS - Not solo survivable at low gear levels (never played at high gear levels to know if that changes significantly) - Poisons (only a problem for assassination right now but they’re coming back in shadowlands bc blizzard is stupid so (: love that) - Transmog options limited by weapon type for 2/3 specs - Melee - Honestly why am I even putting them on the list I like Sylenna but I hate everything rogues stand for and would never want to main one lmao

Demon Hunter (havoc focus): + Hybrid (melee/tank) - Melee

- Incredibly limited transmog options (exclusively due to personal brain stuff since they can actually use swords and axes and fist weapons, I just don’t want to.  Also because some of the DH looks look real bad with the dark skin tone my DH uses and I refuse to spend 300g to whitewash her) - RC Loot Council still thinks they can use daggers and it hurts my soul every time - New weapon mog requires multiple bonus rolls over several weeks due to literally nobody else in the raid being eligible for the drops (and praying that extensions don’t happen or you’ll get fucked like in Dazar’alor) + Vengeance is pretty okay in casual dungeon environments (even if it never feels like I have a button to press for emergencies) + Essences are not an issue (b/c she’s already put the time in)

Mage: - Pure DPS - Incredibly not-survivable in solo content at low item levels.  I have never once felt safe in open world content on my mages once they hit max level. - Sharing a class with Cider strikes me as incredibly dangerous to my sanity (since he’s so tryhard about his damage) +/- Unexciting transmog options + I do have the mage MoP CM armor tho! - Wands + Best class mount by leaps and bounds + Ranged + Fire/Frost at least have some mobility options + Being in control of AI and hero so we don’t have to call for them fifty times a pull sounds real nice (except when I want to be the one not paying attention)

Priest (shadow focus): + Hybrid (ranged/healer/healer) + Disc is the only non-druid healing spec I feel at least slightly comfortable in in casual dungeons (though not anything actually challenging) - Shadow is a multidot spec and multitarget multidot is hard to keep track of - Also we have two already (including the guild leader) +/- Unexciting transmog options (exacerbated by shadowform) - Wands + Ranged

Death Knight: + Hybrid (melee/melee/tank) - Melee +/- Unexciting transmog options + Blood doesn’t seem bad as far as tanking specs go - I haven’t touched Unholy since Wrath and supposedly its top dog atm - Let’s just skip over DK for now, honestly—it doesn’t bring anything to the Xella Table that warrior doesn’t also do (except blood > prot)

Warrior: + Hybrid (melee/melee/tank) + Brings a semi-unique buff (Battle Shout for when Irken isn’t around) - Melee +/- Unexciting transmog options + Capable of stealing almost everyone else’s weapon mog, tho—v exciting! - Naha will probably crack jokes about how bad a tank I am and/or how bad my DPS is if I main a warrior again, and regardless of whether it was true or is true, it will quietly tilt me off the face of the planet. - Would need a facelift; current look works fine for an alt but isn’t versatile enough for a main (would also benefit from a name change at the same time, honestly)

Hunter: - Pure DPS + Incredibly survivable in solo content at low item levels - Only has two specs (fuck you blizzard) + Great mog options, both for default look and enough variants to keep me satisfied + Also has quiver options in at least one spec - Not as mobile as it should be + Still more mobile than pretty much any other ranged + Sporey + Ranged + BOWS

- (: - I’d probably tilt myself off the face of the planet within six months anyway, just bc I’d be constantly reminded that ranged survival doesn’t exist anymore which is why I’m playing the inferior spec(s). - Honestly I keep coming up with excuses not to go back to the hunter but I really don’t think it’d be good for me - But I really want to play her or my druid hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

Paladin: + Hybrid (melee/tank/healer) + Good offspec (protadin used to be better but is still entertaining, holy is a mystery tho) - Melee + We don’t have one + Utility (blessings and whatnot) - Unintuitive “rotation” - Very expensive to main (don’t have a paladin on Skywall, only 120 paladin at all atm is Horde)

Monk: + Hybrid (melee/tank/healer) - Offspecs are both dodgy (ha, brewmaster pun) - Melee - WW isn’t especially fun to play +/- Brings a unique (de)buff, but we already have two monks in our roster so it’s less an issue of never sitting/never getting to sit than the DH is. - Very expensive to main (the other class I don’t have on Skywall atm)

#xellafail #world of warcraft #alts are hard #yeah I don't know if this has helped at all #but I'm gonna save it for now and come back later #see what classes/specs I need to put more research into or something