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konigscrusade · 7 months

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Midnight Ocean Chapter 89 Notes

Please note that I've tried to provide content warnings for specific mentions or discussions of myths or topics that would generally be considered upsetting. But, in case, I'm going to reiterate some warnings here, because while I didn't expand on some of the topics in the actual chapter, I do so more in these notes.

Content Warnings: Ancient Greek mythology-typical bestiality, cannibalism, incest, abduction, sexual assault

“How much of eros consists only of this—this dancing around and around? How much of myth?” is a reference to Eros the Bittersweet by Anne Carson. To explain the whole thing, I would have to spend an hour, but a quote from the text is this: “For in this dance the people do not move. Desire moves. Eros is a verb.”

This is said in reference to a poem by Sappho:

He seems to me equal to gods that man who opposite you sits and listens close to your sweet speaking and lovely laughing—oh it puts the heart in my chest on wings for when I look at you, a moment, then no speaking is left in me no: tongue breaks, and thin fire is racing under skin and in eyes no sight and drumming fills ears and cold sweat holds me and shaking grips me all, greener than grass I am and dead—or almost I seem to me.

Part of Carson's examination of this poem is this:

We see clearly what shape desire has there: a three-point circuit is visible within Sappho’s mind. The man who listens closely is no sentimental cliché or rhetorical device. He is a cognitive and intentional necessity. Sappho perceives desire by identifying it as a three-part structure. We may, in the traditional terminology of erotic theorizing, refer to this structure as a love triangle and we may be tempted, with post-Romantic asperity, to dismiss it as a ruse. But the ruse of the triangle is not a trivial mental maneuver. We see in it the radical constitution of desire. For, where eros is lack, its activation calls for three structural components—lover, beloved and that which comes between them. They are three points of transformation on a circuit of possible relationship, electrified by desire so that they touch not touching. Conjoined they are held apart. The third component plays a paradoxical role for it both connects and separates, marking that two are not one, irradiating the absence whose presence is demanded by eros. When the circuit-points connect, perception leaps. And something becomes visible, on the triangular path where volts are moving, that would not be visible without the three-part structure. The difference between what is and what could be is visible. The ideal is projected on a screen of the actual, in a kind of stereoscopy. The man sits like a god, the poet almost dies: two poles of response within the same desiring mind. Triangulation makes both present at once by a shift of distance, replacing erotic action with a ruse of heart and language. For in this dance the people do not move. Desire moves. Eros is a verb.

I believe Hades Game shows us that shades have some level of control over their appearance, depending on their circumstances. For example, many of the shades we see have set appearances, in a sense. The mobs have appearances defined by the state of their soul/minds. Soul Catchers are a good example. You have a bunch of souls “congealed” together, and they come to share an appearance (bright pink butterflies).

Another example would be Achilles and Patroclus. They seem to be frozen in the appearance they bore when they died. This is shown by Patroclus still wearing Achilles’ armor, which he died in. This can also be seen in how they are almost see-through until they’re reunited, and then they are given more weight.

This, however, is countered by Theseus and Asterius. Asterius absolutely couldn’t have been wearing matching outfits with Theseus when he died. This is clearly something he’s gained since death, not something he died in. I also really doubt he looked as healthy as he does in death.

I believe that this shows shades can and do have control over their appearances, at least when they’re in their right minds/the soul is in good shape (perhaps it’s also a specific right reserved for shades in Elysium). It may not be as flexible as the gods, who can appear however they like as Aphrodite and Demeter state in a conversation together (thank you @CrowLady0_0 for finding this for me), but there’s some level of influence.

I can’t find it now, but I do believe it’s also true there were ancients who had different opinions about what a shade would look like, as Zag describes.

Now, as this relates to Medea: It’s unclear how old Medea was when she married Jason. It’s a question that has and will continue to haunt me. Medea must have been reasonably old when she passed away, but how old, and how her divine heritage might influence the length of her life and/or how old she actually appeared.

In the game, Achilles writes of Elysium: “Greatness is evaluated here, by several judges entrusted to consider the many cases the Master himself cannot see to personally.” I’m not sure if there’s other clarification about this, but I read it as a reference to the judges from mythology, who Medea mentions.

The judges were granted their station due to proving themselves honorable rulers in life, though like most things in Greek mythology, this can be sort of confusing and mixed up, mostly due to the question if Minos is one person or if there are multiple people named Minos lol. Minos is sometimes depicted as a really shitty dude and other times as a great king (though I��m not sure if this could just be explained by the usual extreme variations in Greek mythology).

Zag mentions Minos offending Poseidon. To properly explain this one… I will need to provide some warnings. The light version is this: Minos, King of Crete, asked Poseidon to send him a sign to help prove his right to be king or something along those lines. Poseidon sent a giant bull out of the sea. Minos first said he would sacrifice this bull to Poseidon, but then went back on his word, wanting to keep the bull for himself. This inspired Poseidon’s wrath.

(CW: ancient Greek mythology-typical bestiality) Minos was married to Pasiphaë (Medea’s aunt, sister of Aeëtes and Circe), so Poseidon cursed Pasiphaë to be… obsessed with the bull, let’s say. This led to the birth of the Minotaur, Asterius (so he’s technically Medea’s cousin, isn’t that fun?). (end of bestiality stuff)

(CW: cannibalism…) Anyway, Minos ordered Daedalus, the great inventor, to make a labyrinth to put Asterius in. Minos had this big conflict with Athens, the details of which don’t really matter at the moment, so he ordered Athens to send seven young men and seven young women to Crete to be sent into the labyrinth and, well, fed to Asterius. Thus Zagreus saying Asterius was a cannibal. Anyway, all of this ended when Theseus, Prince of Athens, offered to go into the labyrinth and succeeded in killing Asterius. (end of cannibalism stuff)

When Medea says “Even the gods’ kingdoms fall—the Progenitors’ to the Titans’, the Titans’ to the Olympians’” she’s referring to the generations of deities. “The Progenitors” here refers to the primordial gods who came and ruled first (ie. Uranus, Gaia, etc.). They birthed the Titans, who then overthrew them. Specifically, Uranus was overthrown by Cronus. The Titans then gave birth to the Olympians, and the Olympians overthrew them (Zeus overthrew Cronus).

Zag mentions shades drinking from the Lethe to be reincarnated, and to be clear, I think that may come from Virgil (in other words, this may be a Roman idea and not a Greek one, but I’m not sure). Medea is referencing the shades you fight in Elysium when she talks about those who drink from the Lethe and assist in defense.

From the Wiki:

The shades of the dead were required to drink the waters of the Lethe in order to forget their earthly life. In the Aeneid (VI.703-751), Virgil writes that it is only when the dead have had their memories erased by the Lethe that they may be reincarnated.

Circe was known for her powers of transformation. Medea is specifically referring to her transforming Odysseus’ men into pigs when they reached Circe’s island. Zagreus mentions her turning Scylla into, well, Scylla.

From an earlier chapter: Scylla was a beautiful nymph. The god Glaucus was in love with her, and Circe was in love with Glaucus. Jealous, Circe poured a potion into Scylla’s bath and she was transformed into a monster which is probably much more familiar to most people. This monstrous form of Scylla is the most famous one.

Idyia, the Seeing: Taking this straight from the wiki. “Her name means ‘the fair-faced’ or ‘the knowing one’ derived from the Greek word εἴδω (eídō) meaning ‘to see’ or ‘to know’.”

Perse, the Destroyer: Again, from the wiki. Her “name has been linked to … πέρθω (pérthō), ‘destroy’ or ‘slay’ or ‘plunder’.”

In relation to Idyia, Medea is saying, of course, that her name is directly related to this concept of “Sight.” With Perse, she’s saying that the “destruction” was wrought by her power.

A part of Helios’ power/mythology is that him, being the sun, can watch what’s happening below and thus knows a bunch of shit. He has the epithet Helios Panoptes, meaning "the all-seeing Sun".

(CW: the myth of Persephone’s abduction/sexual assault) This actually means he was the only one who witnessed Persephone’s abduction by Hades, while Hecate was the only one to hear her scream. And while Hecate helped Demeter, she didn’t fully know what happened, so Helios was the one to finally tell Demeter who took Persephone and where.

Flowers Medea mentions

Green-winged orchid: A flower found throughout Eurasia.

Snowdrop: A flower that’s thought to possibly be “moly.” (From a past chapter: Moly is an herb of note in Greek mythos. It’s described as growing from the ground where a giant’s blood/divine blood has fallen. Hermes gives it to Odysseus to protect him from Circe’s magic when he goes to her island.)

Golden pea: A pretty flower that can be a super, super mild poison.

Iris (grossheimii): A particular type of iris from the Caucasus mountains. Irises can also be mildly toxic.

Crocus: This flower, of course, is important in Greek mythology. Crocus was the name of a young man who was Hermes’ lover. During a game of discus, Hermes accidentally struck him in the head, mortally wounding him. Overcome with grief, he turned Crocus into a flower.

Fritillaria: Strange flowers that are known for smelling weird, if not gross, and for being used in traditional medicine. A lot of them are also extremely toxic, or at least parts of them, such as their bulbs, are.

Milkwort: A pretty little flower the ancient Greeks thought… increased milk production in cattle? Who knows.

Poppy: A flower with all sorts of medicinal uses, as most probably know. Their seeds contain codeine and morphine. Their association with Hypnos is due to their sedative effects.

Honeysuckle azalea: From wikipedia, “The nectar is toxic, containing the neurotoxin grayanotoxin; records of poisoning of people eating the honey date to the 4th century BC in Classical Greece.”

Small-fruited cherry bushes: A flowering plant that can be used both as a medicine and as a poison. It can also be used to make a gray-green dye.

Wayfaring tree: Not seriously toxic, but just a little.

Valerian: An herb with various medicinal uses.

Whortleberry: Medea is referring specifically to Caucasian whortleberry. Big berry plant.

#midnight ocean #notes #spoilers

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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What are vampires?

(Yes, I changed the title from “What is venom?” a week after publishing and after a whole set of sorry souls reblogged the post. I’m very sorry, but as I sat down to write the follow-up piece I realized that this meta is about vampires, not venom, and the title is no longer appropriate. My perfectionism got the better of me and I’m sorry.)

There’s been a lot of speculation on that in this fandom, here comes my take. It’ll split into four parts, this being part one where I look at what venom does to the human body. In part two I look at hybrids, part three I speculate on what venom is, part four I treat possible origins and raisons d’être of venom.

So, this first part is mostly me regurgitating facts. We won’t get anywhere if we’re not all agreed on what vampires are.

Also, I get very pseudo-scientific in this meta, but I have no education in biology or medicine so I could be wrong about everything. I tried to use good sources, though, so I can’t be entirely off-base.

With that out of the way, LET’S DO THIS.

To create a vampire, you infect a human with venom. This venom spreads throughout the body, altering every cell. The process is complete when the heart stops beating. If the human was injured at the time of infection, they will be healed, as long as the heart keeps beating.

Let’s go through that.

How does the venom spread?

When Bella was bitten by James, Edward was able to suck the venom out. Several minutes passed from she was bitten until Edward sucked the venom out, yet the burn was only reported to be in her hand. By contrast, anyone who’s ever had pharmaceutical administered intravenously knows that blood travels quickly. If venom travelled like any normal fluid, Bella would have said «My hand is on fire. No wait, my arm! No, wait, my torso! No, wait-» and Edward wouldn’t have been able to suck it out.

Additionally, Bella has that scar left by James. The venom had already altered the cells at the entry point.

To me, this sounds like the venom is like Pac-Man, spreading through the body by altering one cell at a time. It’s the only explanation for why it’s so slow. More on that later, though.

How does it alter the cells, and in turn the human body?

Physically, their skin is made impervious and perfectly even, their teeth are straight, razor sharp and white, their bodies impossibly strong, fast, and precise, their senses heightened to an insane degree yet they feel no pain from most physical injuries. Their digestive system is altered so they can only consume blood, preferably human blood, anything non-blood is regurgitated. They’re much more attractive than they were in life. They’re not reliant on oxygen, and their blood doesn’t circulate. They produce their own venom.

Mentally, their minds function at the capacity necessary to even utilize a body like this. They are able to process their heightened sensory input (for example, it’s the brain that interprets visual input from the eyes. For vampires to be able to see better than humans, both eye and brain have to improve), process though much faster than humans, they forget nothing, and they feel emotion and physical sensation more strongly than humans do.

Let’s go through these alterations one by one.

Skin

Frequently likened to marble, vampire skin is as hard as stone. When Bella becomes a vampire, she’s stunned Edward’s flesh now yields to her touch. Before, if she pressed her finger on him, his skin would not yield. The shapeshifters can kill vampires because their fangs are sharp enough to pierce their skin, without that advantage they couldn’t do it. No ordinary weapon could injure a vampire.

The stone skin is an armor, protecting them.

Teeth

As us humans get older, the enamel in our teeth is worn away, revealing the tooth’s underlying yellow color (the dentin). Vampires can live for thousands of years, yet their teeth remain that perfect blinding white. What changed? I see two possible explanations, one being that vampires still have enamel, and it’s too strong to ever be worn away, or they don’t have it because their teeth have been altered to the point where they don’t need a protective layer anymore, and their composition is something completely different from that of human teeth.

I think it’s the latter, as there are two other major changes reported. Their teeth have changed shape, they are now sharp enough to pierce through human or vampire skin. They’re also venomous (more on that later), able to inject anybody they bite, fellow vampires included, with venom.

There’s also the fact that vampires are changed on a molecular level, but more on that later.

Strength, speed, and precision

Meta I wrote on vampire strength disparity.

Vampires are ridiculously powerful, no upper limit (as in, «Newborn Emmett can carry 500 tonnes») is given, but whatever it is it’s high. Alice might just be the physically weakest vampire in the saga (Jane is physically smaller, but she eats properly. Alice lives on a subpar diet), but to Bella it makes no difference, Alice blows her out of the park anyway. Edward, a malnourished and not too strong vampire, is easily able to pick up entire trees by the roots, and then throw them at a small target.

As for speed, vampires move faster than the human eye can register, which according to this article means they can reach a speed of 38 146 mph! (61 390 km/h for us metric people) (Also, the traveling object used for this calculation was a ball, and the article specifies that it would be different for bigger objects. Alas I’m not going to bother my physicist friend with this, so we’re using the ball number.)

When it comes to precision, vampires exercise perfect muscle control. They’re so graceful their steps can’t be heard by humans, Edward can famously stroke a soap bubble without popping it, and they’re able to perfectly mimic the handwriting of others (a task anyone who’s ever googled forensic calligraphy will know is next to impossible). Much of this appears to be instinctual, like a downloaded .vampire package. Knowing how to attack prey, where to bite, that all happens on autopilot. So too does running, jumping, walking (funny how their default mode, even Carlisle’s, is to walk too quietly for their designated prey to detect). Snarling, hissing, and growling are also distinctly non-human manners vampire adopt.

Senses

Heightened sight, hearing, and smell is extremely useful. It makes them much more effective hunters. The smell especially is useful here, but really, all their senses are invaluable in this. It’s great for dealing with fellow vampires as well, they can see, hear, and smell their kind coming from a far distance.

There’s an added advantage, though. As I got into here, and here, if a vampire’s memories of their human life is dull and washed out compared to their brilliant new existence, dismissing humans as equally deserving of life becomes that much easier to justify. Heightened emotions serves this same purpose, though considering their longevity I think this is another form of survival, that they’re wired not to grow bored with life (but this is really for a separate meta).

There’s also the fact that their senses have to be tuned up to 11 to fit their other enhanced abilities. There’s no use in super-speed if you can’t see where you’re going.

Vampires’ heightened senses make them more efficient predators, and help them become the bloodthirsty sociopaths we know and love.

Pain receptors, or lack thereof

Vampires feel pain when they are thirsty, when their limbs are torn off, when they are bitten by other vampires (it appears to be the venom that stings), or when subjected to a gift that induces pain (Jane, Kate). They don’t feel pain like humans do, nor do they feel discomfort (they can sit indefinitely in any position, never feeling the need to shift around.

Interestingly, it looks to me like pain serves the same function for them as it does for humans. The brain registers pain to tell us something, a biological error message. Don’t walk on that leg, it’s injured. Get your hand off the hot stove and don’t put it there again. Pain is useful.

Vampires, by contrast, are not going to get injured from someone hitting them. There are no blood vessels that can burst, no soft tissue that can burst nor bones that can break. So, no need for their brains to register that as pain. Humans need to change positions every now and then for the sake of our circulation and so we don’t develop pressure ulcers (and I’m sure there are more reasons), vampires have no circulation and, as mentioned above, their skin is armor. No pressure ulcers.

What they do need pain for, is to let them know to feed. That’s the big one, and in turn the strongest one. The pain of the thirst is unbearable, as it has to be to turn a human who was infected with venom into a killer. It’s survival. Same goes for feeling pain when their limbs are torn off, or their bodies damaged by a bite. Their pain receptors let them know to avoid this next time.

As for Jane and Kate’s gifts, this may not serve a purpose for other vampires, but it serves a purpose for Jane and Kate. It protects them. So, sucks for everyone else, but that’s what gifts do, they give the gift-haver a leg up on others.

Digestive system

Carlisle had spent many years attempting to understand our immortal anatomy; it was a difficult task, based mostly on assumption and observation. Vampire cadavers were not available for study.

His best interpretation of our life systems was that our internal workings must be microscopically porous. Though we could swallow anything, only blood was accepted by our bodies. That blood was absorbed into our muscles and provided fuel. When the fuel was depleted, our thirst intensified to encourage us to replenish our supply. Nothing besides blood seemed to move through us at all. (Midnight Sun, chapter Home)

Ignoring the horrifying fact that the context for this quote is Edward wondering if Bella’s tear could stay in his system forever, this here is extremely interesting and I agree. Partly because I can’t think of anything better, partly because Carlisle is an in-universe medical genius who’s had access to far more data than I have. He can run experiments, I can’t. Even if I came up with a theory I thought was better, if blood absorption through porous tissue is Carlisle’s best theory then there must be evidence in favor of this which I don’t have access to. So, porous tissue it most likely is.

(Also, my «Carlisle totally volunteered for vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra» theory survives that first paragraph. Vampire cadavers might not be available for study, but live ones absolutely are, you just pick them apart and put them back together after, and bring in Corin and/or Alec so the guinea pig has a good time too. There’s no way that never occurred to Aro. Even if it didn’t, it’s bound to have occurred to someone over the years, and Aro touches a lot of people. And we know he and Carlisle discussed what vampires even were, that they were best friends and all about that science.

We also know that sometimes, your weird science experiments involving dismemberment and tripping on Corin in Volterra, stay in Volterra. The tissue is porous, Edward, DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW.)

This has huge implications. What happened to the digestive system they used to have?

It’s still there, but non-operational.

Middle solution: it’s recognizably there, but welded shut. At some point, whatever the vampire ingests hits an untraversable boundary, and from there the blood is absorbed while any other matter remains, undigested (though possibly dissolved by venom) until regurgitated.

The vampire’s inner anatomy is unrecognizable from that of a human. Vampires have no need for livers, bowels, gall bladders, and so on, and so these organs no longer exist, or have even been replaced by other organs (assuming vampires need any, more on that later).

My vote lies with the third option, though both second and third are possible. The first one, not so much, as it means that in theory, they could force something through their system. They can’t.

More, vampires are nothing if not extremely efficient and economical organisms. They don’t need to feel pain from a physical blow, so they don’t. Why carry around these organs they’re not using?

Then there’s what they even need their digestive system to do. Humans need the nutrients in our meals not just as fuel, but as- well, everything. We need the building blocks for our cells. Our bodies are constantly renewing themselves. Vampires, by contrast, don’t appear to do this. There’s no waste of any kind, and their skin doesn’t get flaky. Edward specifically says blood is fuel, and I think that’s a literal interpretation.

Now we’re veering into speculation territory, and this isn’t the place for it just yet as we’re veering into what venom is and does, but I think whatever digestive process vampires have, serves to turn their blood to venom. I don’t think there’s any particular organ for this, I think that’s just because that’s what happens when venom comes into contact with blood. We see it happen when humans are bitten, and I think it’s fair to assume that the same thing happens when venom comes into contact with ingested blood.

This also helps explain why animal blood isn’t equal to human blood. Animals can’t be turned to vampires, it’s blood but venom and animal blood aren’t on the same FM, so to say. So, with no better option, yes venom can make do with animal blood, but it won’t perform as well as it would with human blood. The vampire is now weaker, with the frankly terrifying side effect that their eyes change color. We’re so used to this that we just go «oh, yeah, animal blood means their eyes turn yellow. It’s like a LED light letting you know which diet the vampire is on!» when in any other organism, a chance of color like that is usually the sign of something being wrong. Blue lips, yellow sclera, red urine, all color changes that point to something not being not as it should be.

Now, to go further here would mean getting more into what venom even is, which is best saved for part three. I’ll say this, venom appears to be the only fluid in the vampire body. It’s moistens their eyes (and melts their contacts), pools in their mouth, is injected through their fangs, and the application of venom to a wound makes them heal faster. Venom is the substance they rely on, more so even than blood, their elixir of life. (My speculation on how Edward was able to impregnate Bella is reserved for the hybrid/what is venom metas).

Also, on what vampires carry over from their human bodies, I do think they’re economical enough to not fix what ain’t broken. I think this because the human nervous system is absolutely brilliant, and indeed Bella regains sensation during her transformation where her spine had once been broken and unable to communicate with her brain. Question is, of course, was this because her new vampire body still uses the human nervous system, or did Bella regain sensation because her transformation had gotten to a point where this was no longer the case?

Beauty

The beauty part has gotten some very valid criticism, as beauty is very subjective and venom makes it out to be an objective, empirically measurable unit.

To caveat first, we see in canon that not all vampires are gorgeous. James was an ugly human, and so as a vampire he’s no beauty. Maggie was emaciated and not particularly attractive, so she’s bony and not hot by vampire standards. The Cullens, by contrast, were attractive humans. Human Bella is a hottie, she pulls all the guys without issue. If she were as plain as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t get male attention. Being new is only gonna get her so far. Jasper was turned because Maria thought he was a cutie, and same goes for Emmett with Rosalie.

(There’s also a certain inherent bias - I imagine attractive people have a much higher chance of getting turned than uglies.)

More, understand that vampires don’t look human. They’re flawless, desirable, perfect, yes - but they are very distinctly not human, and humans know as much instinctively:

Like any normal human, suddenly standing just a foot away from a vampire would send adrenaline racing through his veins. Fear would twist in his stomach for just a fraction of a second, and then his rational mind would take over. His brain would force him to ignore all the little discrepancies that marked me as other. His eyes would refocus and he would see nothing more than a teenage boy. I watched him come to that conclusion, that I was just a normal boy. I knew he would be wondering what his body’s strange reaction had been about. (Midnight Sun, chapter 21, page 547)

Vampires are beautiful in the way the Nefertiti bust is beautiful. It’s perfect, otherworldly, timelessly beautiful, but looking at it you know this is a bust and not a living human woman.

With that in mind, I think some of the vampire’s unnatural beauty is… not circumstantial, but happy bonuses to their other qualities. Their perfect skin, for instance, goes a long way towards making them beautiful. Perfectly smooth, a glowing white, no disruptions like blackheads, scarring, or sweat. At one point Bella describes Rosalie as looking airbrushed. Their perfect teeth, impeccable grace, these features also help.

Now, I think when venom makes a human more beautiful, I think the big thing it does is make the features perfectly symmetrical. This by itself is immediately inhuman and unnatural, more computer generated than human, just perfect enough to tick off the uncanny valley box. This would explain the flawlessness Bella keeps describing in vampires. It also explains the disparity in beauty, the features Rosalie had to work with and get symmetrical were lovelier than the ones James had, and why they can look completely different from each other yet share that same kind of uncanny impeccability. It also explains how people of wildly different face types and ethnicities can all be beautiful, the venom won’t erase the features you had but rather refine them into the best they can be.

I do think that refinement, in addition to symmetry, happens. If it didn’t, the change wouldn’t be so radical from human to vampire. More, all vampires are described as having sharp features, Esme stands out for the fact that she retained some of her human softness. So, the venom appears to make features more angular and, well, sharp.

Aro’s description is in favor of my interpretation of vampiric beauty:

I couldn't decide if his face was beautiful or not. I suppose the features were perfect. But he was as different from the vampires beside him as they were from me. His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate (New Moon, page 234)

His features are flawless, meaning symmetrical. He should be beautiful, so it’s the skin that gives her pause.

There’s also the matter that beauty is observed in the body, not just the form. They all look strong and limber, even the tiniest of vampires. I imagine some of this is simply texture, that vampires are made hard, smooth, and perfect, but we have this from Bella looking in the mirror after waking up a vampire:

She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. (Breaking Dawn, page 261)

Fluid even in stillness, her limbs smooth and strong. This woman was starving to death when she died. Combined with the fact that Edward, who was a sick 17-year-old, has muscle definition, it seems venom does body sculpting as well. Though it’s worth noting that hydration goes a long way towards muscle definition for humans, so the change in fluid composition in vampires could have something to do with it their limber appearance.

Then there’s the other vampire beauty markers.

Their voices are described quite unusually, with words like wind chimes, bells, or feathers. They’re beautiful, but, like everything else about vampires, inhuman. When Carlisle calls Billy on the phone, Billy immediately recognized the voice as somehow wrong, it’s too clear and sharp.

I mean, I think in part this is because their vocal cords aren’t made of soft human tissue anymore, but most likely stone. No matter what they’re made of, though, it’s no surprise that we’re not getting human voices out of them.

Their scent is appetizing to humans and other vampires alike, and serves a duel purpose. Humans are attracted to them (well, vampires are too), while vampires are able to use it for tracking purposes. It’s tremendously useful for keeping track of your territory, as randos can’t walk in and eat your food and sneak off again without leaving a trail. It’s also good for meeting up with friends, we see Carlisle and Siobhan use it for this purpose in Midnight Sun.

Circulation

The purpose of blood is to carry oxygen and nutrients to the cells. Apparently, this isn’t a need vampires have. All they need is venom. The theory that their tissue is porous adds to this, as it would mean blood travels through their body in a different manner. The porous tissue replaces circulation.

So, no circulation for vampires because they don’t need it.

This meta is now getting ridiculously long, so I’m putting the venom production section in the venom meta.

The transformation

The transformation is complete when the heart stops beating. The former human is now a vampire, and no longer reliant on a heartbeat, nor oxygen. In this they are different from hybrids.

As for the process itself, I think that as the venom spreads, it starts multiplying on its own. This is why it took longer for Carlisle than it did Bella, she was bitten and injected multiple times and on every part of her body while Carlisle was grazed on the arm. Bella had more venom that could work on her, Carlisle did not. These facts support my theory of the slow spread of venom.

I’ve played with the thought of the transformation happening in stages, where the first act is the spread of the venom, which then spreads throughout the body and heals the body to put it at default, the second act is the bodysculpting, and the third act the finishing touches. It doesn’t quite fit with venom transforming as it goes, though, so I’m very hm on that.

A few observations:

Activity level doesn’t appear to help spread the venom. Carlisle exerted himself, and his transformation took far more time than normal (though lying still instead of contorting in agony probably doesn’t help in that regard). Bella laid still as a corpse, and her transformation took far less time than normal. The venom spreads in its own time, regardless of what the blood circulation is up to.

Going by the accounts of the Cullens, while the pain is constant, the transformation hurts increasingly as the venom spreads.

Bella was severely injured, and needed to be healed before she could even feel all the pain. Her broken spine, for instance, meant she couldn’t feel below the waist.

Carlisle said it’s «easier if the blood is weak» (cryptic much?! Not making it easy for me, dude. Though as this was said in the context of Edward explaining that Carlisle would only turn someone already dying, I do think he’s referring to what it’s like for vampires, though, that humans are not so tempting if they’re half dead.)

Healing

Now we’re veering into the venom meta, but: the transformation fixes anything that could impede the vampire’s function. Bella would get nothing done with her post-birth broken body, and so she’s fixed up for her. Alice’s emaciation means she’s thin and less strong than others, it doesn’t physically prevent her from doing anything.

The venom, it appears, heals the human not because it’s being altruistic, nor to make the vampire more appealing to others, but to make the human into an ideal host. BUT MORE ON THAT IN THE VENOM META.

With that, my god we’re done. And this meta is words in total, an ugly number.

Lastly, I know that putting a read more at the end of a 4k long meta is the worst joke in the world (RIP to you poor souls scrolling past this. My reason for not being a read more kind of gal to be found here)

Nothing yet, I’m afraid.

#long post #had to delete immediately after posting because i hadn't actually written anything in the skin section #so i deleted rather than having people reblog before it was ready #ops #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight vampires #twilight venom #twilight biology #vampire biology #also i am very proud of the way my ship snuck into the post #sorry not sorry but it's a bedbug ship #it won't stay out of my stuff #edit: can't count. wrote five parts

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elriell · 4 years

Note

i love your meta posts and would really like to see your thoughts on nessian and maybe the next book in detail?? thanks

Thank you, I enjoy doing them. As usual this will be rather long especially with quotes but there is so much Nessian goodness to discuss so bare with me.

[MY FULL THOUGHTS ON NESTA]

We will get in to the good, the bad, and everything in between but let’s start with their future and them being mates. This is not an unpopular belief to my knowledge but let’s talk about it because I feel this will be a part of their arc next book, especially since ACOFAS was kind of setting up the bridge for the spin off.

So take a look at these quotes from ACOFAS,

“Cassian’s face turned uncharacteristically solemn, and he remained quiet for a moment before he said, “I get jealous sometimes. I’d never begrudge you for your happiness, but what you two have, Rhys …” He dragged a hand through his hair, his crimson Siphon glinting in the light streaming through the window. “It’s the legends, the lies, they spin us when we’re children. About the glory and wonder of the mating bond. I thought it was all bullshit. Then you two came along.”

“What about you?” I asked, pulling away after a moment. “Are you … happy?” Shadows darkened his hazel eyes. “I’m getting there.” A halfhearted answer.”

I believe this is just a little teaser for his future with her, there is so much foreshadowing about both of them being mates but also becoming something powerful, especially Nesta.

“What if I tell you what the rock and darkness and sea beyond whispered to me, Lord of Bloodshed? How they shuddered in fear, on that island across the sea. How they trembled when she emerged. She took something—something precious. She ripped it out with her teeth.”

Cassian’s golden-brown face had drained of color, his wings tucking in tight. “What did you wake that day in Hybern, Prince of Bastards?”

He is described as a leader, a prince and a god a few times but the foreshadowing for Nesta becoming a Queen/Leader is unparalleled. I know quite a few people are not fond of the idea but to be honest with all the written breadcrumbs I cannot imagine it going any other way... It is mentioned so often.

“Nesta was waiting at the head of the table, a queen ready to hold court. ”

“But she turned to Cassian, looked him over as if she were a queen on a throne, and then declared to all of us,”

“How lovely she is—new as a fawn and yet ancient as the sea. How she calls to you. A queen, as my sister once was. Terrible and proud; beautiful as a winter sunrise.”

“And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind,”

“A queen without a throne. That was what I’d call the painting that swept into my mind.”

“She kept her chin high, the portrait of queenly arrogance. “I’m not.”

“Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—” She ripped her hand out of his grip. Stared him down. A mighty, vengeful queen.”

And I feel it will obviously be something to do with the Illyrians, as that is what is being set up. I believe they will become leaders of the Illyrians in a new way not currently present.

Mates

“And what about Cassian? He’s entangled—and enabling this nonsense.” A wry smile. “Cassian is going to have to decide some things, too. In the near future, I think.” “Are he and Nesta …?” “I don’t know. Until the bond snaps into place, it can be hard to detect.”

At this rate I do not even think it is questionable but let’s pretend we have to prove it, here are some key pieces of evidence,

Exhibit A)

Feyre painting the stars for her Mate, and her painting flames for Nesta.

“Nesta,” I said, starting on the other wing, “I painted flames for her. She was always angry, always burning. I think she and Amren would be fast friends. ”

“There was something rough-hewn about his features—like he’d been made of wind and earth and flame and all these civilized trappings were little more than an inconvenience.”

“A matching one lay atop his left hand; and twin red stones adorned Cassian’s gauntlets, their color like the slumbering heart of a flame.”

“So at odds from the male who had gone head to head with my sister, unable to resist matching himself against Nesta’s spirit of steel and flame.”

Exhibit B)

First potential scenting of it/Paralleling Rhys.

“He bowed at the waist, those wings vanishing entirely, and had begun to fade into the nearest shadow when he went rigid. His eyes locked on mine, wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock—pure shock flashed across his features at whatever he saw on my face, and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled. “What is—” I began.” [Rhys] “But he did take a step closer, bracing a hand on the mantel, and leaned in close enough to breathe in that scent of hers. It hit him in the gut so hard her could barely focus, and it took five centuries of training to make himself meet her eyes rather than let his own roll back in his head, to keep himself poised there instead of burying his face in the crook between her neck and shoulder, to keep from moving closer, from… touching.”

“Yes, devastating was a good word for how lovely she’d become as High Fae. And in a long-sleeved, dark blue gown that clung to her curves before falling gracefully to the ground in a spill of fabric …

Cassian looked like someone had punched him in the gut.”

Exhibit C)

Feeling each others pain/worry without being there.

“He’d followed. She’d known it in her bones, her blood. He’d kept high in the skies, but he’d followed until she’d entered the building.”

“CASSIAN.” Amren reached for her, but Nesta roared, “CASSIAN!”

“Nesta had known. She gaped up at me, terror and agony on her face, then scanned the sky for Cassian, who flapped in place, as if torn between coming for us and charging back to the scattering Illyrian and Peregryn ranks. She’d known where that blast was about to hit. Cassian had been right in the center of it. Or would have been, if she hadn’t called him away.”

The door opened, and Cassian stalked in, face grave. The sight of the wings, the Illyrian armor in this opulent, pink-filled room planted itself in my mind, the painting already taking form, as he said, “What’s wrong.” [...] But I said, “She senses something is off—says we need to leave right away.” I waited for the dismissal, but Cassian angled his head. “What, precisely, feels wrong?”

“Nesta’s screaming was the only sound. Cassian blindly lurched toward it—toward her, moaning in pain.”

“I whipped my head to Nesta as she went silent. The Cauldron righted itself. Cassian again stirred, slumping on the floor—but his hand twitched. Toward Nesta.”

“You’re hurt.” Rhys snapped to attention at that. [...] Cassian seemed to hesitate, but offered it to her, tapping the Siphon atop his palm. The armor slid back a fraction over his forearm, revealing— “You know better than to walk around with an injury,” Rhys said a bit tensely. “I was busy,” Cassian said, not taking his focus off Nesta as she studied the swollen wrist. How she’d detected it through the armor … She must have read it in his eyes, his stance. I hadn’t realized she’d been observing the Illyrian general enough to notice his tells.”

Underrated Moments?

“Eat or bed?” Cassian had asked Nesta, and I honestly couldn’t tell if he’d meant it as some invitation. I debated telling him he was in no shape.

Nesta only said, “Bed.” And there was certainly no invitation in the exhausted reply.”

I feel like this is such an underrated moment between them, there is so much care and comfort in these moments I love it.

“Is she a witch.”

“She may act like one sometimes,” Cassian clarified, “but no—she is High Fae.” LOL

“Nesta listened to the low-level Illyrian soldiers whispering about how Cassian had thrown that spear, how he’d cut down soldiers like stalks of wheat, how he’d fought like Enalius—their most ancient warrior-god and the first of the Illyrians. [...]

Nesta watched, and listened to it all, while the camp was built around us.”

This part of ACOWAR when she is settling in, helping out and listening to the tales of Cassian I think will come to parallel in ACOTAR 4. I love the idea that she just sat around listening to the legend of warrior gods...

Parallels

“Why do you bother, Cassian?”

His hazel eyes shuttered as we smoothly landed. And I thought he wouldn’t answer, especially not as we heard the others already in the dining room beyond the veranda,[...] But Cassian said quietly as we headed for the dining room, “Because I can’t stay away.”

Nesta gritted her teeth, trying to haul Cassian up once more. A broken sound of pain ripped from him. “Go! ” he barked at her. “I can’t,” she breathed, voice breaking. “I can’t.”

*cries*

“But Nesta was glancing between us all, her back still stiff, mouth a thin line. “Where is he?” “Who?” Rhys crooned. “Cassian.”

I didn’t think I’d ever heard his name from her lips. Cassian had always been him or that one. And Nesta had been … pacing in the foyer. As if she was worried.

“I was almost at the door when Cassian said, “Is …” He swallowed. I spared him the discomfort of trying to mask his interest. “Both sisters will be at the house. Whether they want to or not.” Cassian’s eyes flickered. “How is she?”

Rhysand just stuck in the middle probably thinking these fucking idiots ahaha

“Are you … happy?” Shadows darkened his hazel eyes. “I’m getting there.”A halfhearted answer. I’d have to work on that, too. Perhaps there were threads to be pulled, woven together.”

“Perhaps you should get a place of your own, then.” “I have one in Illyria.” “I meant here.” Cassian lifted a brow. “I don’t need a house here. I need a room.” [...] I chuckled again, but held in my retort. My suggestion that he might want a place of his own. Soon. Not that anything was happening on that front. Not anytime soon. Nesta had made it clear enough she had no interest in Cassian—not even in being in the same room as him. I knew why. I’d seen it happen, had felt that way plenty.”

had felt that way plenty

HAD FELT THAT WAY PLENTY.

HaD FElt tHAt wAY PLenTY

Perhaps this is really why they sent her to Illyria? Is this them weaving? Not sure how I feel about that really, but we shall see.

She only said, “Go home, Cassian.” He could count on one hand the number of times she’d used his name. Called him anything other than you or that one.”

“Cassian.” I didn’t think I’d ever heard his name from her lips. Cassian had always been him or that one.”

Their reactions to each other currently.

“No matter that she could scarcely stand to be around him. No matter that she had once, long ago, in a mortal body and in a house that no longer existed, let him kiss her throat. Being near him made her want to shatter things. As her power sometimes did, unbidden. Secretly.”

“But from the moment he’d met Nesta, the cold fire in her blue-gray eyes had been a temptation of a different sort. And now that she was High Fae, that inherent dominance, the aggression—and that piss-poor attitude … There was a reason he avoided her as much as possible. Even after the war, things were still too volatile, both within the Night Court’s borders and in the world beyond. And the female before him had always made him feel like he was standing in quicksand.”

Training

Quite a few people do not want her to become a epic warrior, and while I understand that especially after her quote in the books about there being other ways to be strong... but after SJM interviews and so forth I definitely think they will go in that direction...

“You’ll what?” Cassian crooned, trailing her at a casual pace as she stopped perhaps five feet from me. He lifted a brow as she whirled on him. “You won’t join me for practice, so you sure as hell aren’t going to hold your own in a fight. You won’t talk about your powers, so you certainly aren’t going to be able to wield them. And you—”

“Something drew Cassian’s attention behind me. And even as his body remained casual, a predatory gleam flickered in his eyes. I didn’t need to turn to know who was standing there. “Care to join?” Cassian purred. Nesta said, “It doesn’t look like you’re exercising anything other than your mouths.”

“Cassian pressed one of his knives into Nesta’s hand. “Ash can kill you now,” he said with lethal quiet as she stared down at the blade. “A scratch can make you queasy enough to be vulnerable. Remember where the exits are in every room, every fence and courtyard—mark them when you go in, and mark how many men are around you. Mark where Rhys and the others are. Don’t forget that you’re stronger and faster. Aim for the soft parts,” he added, folding her fingers around the hilt. “And if someone gets you into a hold …”

Morrigan

Alright let’s move on to Mor, I am sure there are a lot of opinions on her/and her relationship with Cassian. I am going to try not to get in to detail about her personally and keep it too Nessian because I feel like that is a whole other can of worms...

“And then there would be the matter of explaining it to everyone.

To Mor. His blood chilled.”

This is a big reason for why I need both of their own POV’s because there is so much we are limited to being inside of Feyre’s head. But one thing is clear and that is that there is something wrong here, ^^^ that response is not normal for a “friend” to find out you like/whatever someone.

It is not a healthy dynamic at all, I am sorry.

I believe it also alters and changes the way Nesta perceives things, we as readers may know nothing is currently going on between them but as an outside party she would not know that and some of their scenes have got to raise alarms.

“You’re hurt?”

At the sound of Mor’s voice, Cassian snatched his hand back and pivoted toward Mor with a lazy smile. “Nothing for you to cry over, don’t worry.”

Nesta dragged her stare from his face—down to her now-empty hand, her fingers still curled as if his palm lay there. Cassian didn’t look at Nesta as she rose, snatching up the pitcher, and muttered something about getting more water from inside the tent.

Case and point, this was a rather cold and heartless thing to do especially given that she is finally trying to help him and open up. Imagine being Nesta in this situation, it is sure to raise some alarm bells...

“Rhys chuckled. Cassian, however, didn’t smile, every pore of him seemingly fixed on Nesta and Mor.”

I really hope they expand on why he is so afraid of her reaction.

“Just what I always wanted.” He held up a pair of what seemed to be red silk undershorts. The perfect match to her negligee. With Nesta pointedly preoccupied with flipping through her new books,”

“Cassian and Mor fell into their banter, laughing and taunting each other about the battle and the ones ahead. Nesta didn’t come back out again for some time.”

“The general of the High Lord’s armies stuck out his tongue. Mor returned the gesture. Amren scowled at Rhys. “You’d be wise to leave both of them at home for the meeting with the others, Rhysand. They’ll cause nothing but trouble.” His face was indeed controlled, but—a hint of surprise twinkled there. Wariness, too, but … surprise. I risked another glance at Nesta, but she was watching her plate, dutifully ignoring the others.”

I think it is very interesting that SJM put these scenes in here because as readers again we might laugh and enjoy the banter between the circle but she is making it a point to show that Nesta is bothered/has a reaction to these moments. I wouldn’t even call it jealousy per-say but rather wariness over someone she considers a player flirting around, raising red flags.

Especially getting matching underwear with someone, as an outsider how would you perceive that?

“Mor’s lips pressed into a thin line, as if she was trying her best not to say anything. Azriel was trying his best to shoot a warning stare at Mor to remind her to indeed keep her mouth shut. As if they’d already discussed this. Many times.”

I opened my mouth, but Mor beat me to it.

“He’s busy.” I’d never heard her voice so … sharp. Icy.

Mor said flatly, “When he gets back, keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.”

“I tried not to look too obvious as I glanced at Cassian.They had not seen each other since Adriata.But the warrior only gave her a cursory once-over and turned toward Azriel to say something. Mor was watching both carefully—the warning she’d given my sister ringing silently between them. And Nesta, Mother damn it all, seemed to remember. Seemed to rein in whatever words she’d been about to spit and just approached me.”

“So you’re alive.”Cassian bared his teeth in a feral grin, wings flaring slightly. “Were you hoping otherwise?”

Mor was watching—watching so closely, every muscle tense. She again reached for his arm, but Cassian angled out of reach, not tearing his eyes from Nesta’s blazing gaze.

I don’t agree with her at all, especially since she is a hypocrite because if anyone brings up her relationship with Azriel it is unacceptable and not their business. You can be a friend, you can be protective, as I am sure Az also is but you can keep it to yourself, or Cassian.

Her not wanting to loose her buffer is not only selfish but cruel to him.

“Your Solstice present.” “I don’t want one.” Cassian continued past her, tossing the present in his hands. “You’ll want this one.” He prayed she would. It had taken him months to find it. He hadn’t wanted to give it to her in front of the others. Hadn’t even known she’d be there tonight.”

This isn’t directly linked to Mor but it kind of falls under the same theme of him being shy/embarrassed(?) in regards to her, for whatever reason it doesn’t put things in the best light. We can only speculate about what was inside it, and boy do we, so we can’t say if it was personal or private but the idea that he didn’t want to display any... sentiment towards her publicly must rub her the wrong way especially since only Elain got her a present.

Touch

Not much to analyse here I just want to quote and appreciate these moments.

His voice was rough as he said, “Five hundred years ago, I fought on battlefields not far from this house. I fought beside human and faerie alike, bled beside them. I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron, to protect this house—your people. I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it most.”

I watched a tear slide down Nesta’s cheek. And I watched as Cassian reached up a hand to wipe it away. She did not flinch from his touch.”

“Nesta was standing there, arms around herself, eyes wide. Cassian only stretched out an arm for her. As if in a trance, she walked right to his side. His arms tightened around both of us, Siphons flaring, gilding the darkness with bloodred light.”

“She let out a small, animal sound—like some wounded stag—as she saw him. As he landed so hard his knees popped. He said nothing as Nesta launched herself toward him, her dress filthy and disheveled, her arms stretching for him. He opened his own for her, unable to stop his approach, his reaching—”

“Cassian said to her, “Nothing can harm you here.” He sucked in a breath, groaning softly, and rose to his feet. Azriel tried to stop him, but Cassian brushed him off and strode for my sister’s side. He braced a hand on the desk when he at last stopped. “Nothing can harm you,” he repeated. Nesta was still looking at him when she finally shut her eyes. I shifted, and the angle allowed me to see what I hadn’t detected before. Nesta stood before the map, a fist of bones and stones clenched over it. Cassian remained at her side—his other hand on her lower back. And I marveled at the touch she allowed—marveled at it as much as I did the mud-splattered hand she held out. The concentration that settled over her face.”

“Cassian seemed too weary to speak as well while she wrapped bandages around his wrist, only grunting to confirm if it was too tight or too loose, if it helped at all. But he watched her—didn’t take his eyes off her face, the brows bunched and lips pursed in concentration.

And when she’d tied it neatly, his wrist wrapped in white, when Nesta made to pull back, Cassian gripped her fingers in his good hand. She lifted her gaze to his. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely. Nesta did not yank her hand away. Did not open her mouth for some barbed retort.”

“Cassian brushed a thumb down the back of her hand. “You’re welcome,” Cassian called after her, more than a bite to his voice. His hands clenched and slackened at his sides—as if he were trying to loosen the feel of her from his palms.”

“Her gloved fingers scraped against his calluses, but he held firm. “Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—” She ripped her hand out of his grip. Stared him down. A mighty, vengeful queen.”

Watching

“He studied every inch of her. As if there were nothing and no one else here, anywhere.”

“When I looked ahead, I found Cassian staring back at Nesta as well. I wondered why no one had yet mentioned what now shone in Cassian’s eyes as he gazed at my sister. The sorrow. And the longing.”

“Cassian watched every bite she took, every bob of her throat as she swallowed.”

“Cassian had named about two dozen poses for Nesta at this point. Ranging from I Will Eat Your Eyes for Breakfast to I Don’t Want Cassian to Know I’m Reading Smut. The latter was his particular favorite. Suppressing his smile, Cassian gestured to the pretty piles”

“But Mor waved him off and moved to pass Cassian his gift; but the warrior didn’t take it. Or take his eyes off Nesta as she undid the brown paper wrapping on the box and revealed a set of five novels in a leather box. She read the titles, then lifted her head to Elain.”

“What are you?” Cassian didn’t seem to dare take his focus off Nesta. But my sister slowly looked at Lucien.”

“Good,” Cassian said, glancing at Nesta. “If I end my life defending those who need it most, then I will consider it a death well spent.” Lord Devlon, for once, nodded his approval. I wondered if Cassian noticed it—if he cared. His face revealed nothing, not as his focus remained wholly on my sister.”

“She looked to Beron and his family as she finished. Only the Lady and Eris seemed to be considering—impressed, even, by the strange, simmering woman before them. I didn’t have the words in me—to convey what was in my heart. Cassian seemed the same.”

“I do not want to be remembered as a coward.” “No one would say that,” I offered quietly. “I would.” Nesta surveyed us all, her gaze jumping past Cassian. Not to slight him, but … avoid answering the look he was giving her. Approval—more. ”

“Nesta’s eyes shot right to his face. She spoke quietly to me, to all of us, even as she held Cassian’s gaze as if he were the only one in the room.”

“Nesta had been beautiful as a human woman. As High Fae, she was devastating. From the utter stillness with which Cassian stood beside me, I wondered if he thought the same thing.”

Nesta blurted, “You didn’t come to—” She stopped herself. The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than Cassian. He scanned her face as if furiously reading some battle report. Mor just watched as Cassian took Nesta’s slim hand in his own, interlacing their fingers. As he folded in his wings and blindly reached his other hand back toward Mor in a silent order to transport them. Cassian’s eyes did not leave Nesta’s; nor did hers leave his. There was no warmth, no tenderness on either of their faces. Only that raging intensity, that blend of contempt and understanding and fire.”

Can someone tell them both there are other people in the room? I don’t think they know...

Protect

“Tamlin snarled at her. Cassian snarled right back, “Watch it.” Tamlin looked between my sister and Cassian—his gaze lingering on Cassian’s wings, tucked in behind him. Snorted. “Seems like other preferences run in the Archeron family, too.”

“Cassian had stationed himself by the doorway, I realized, to be closer to Nesta. To grab her if Amren decided she didn’t particularly care for where this conversation was headed[...] Cassian was staring at Nesta—hard enough that my sister at last twisted toward him. Met his gaze. His head tilted—slightly. A silent order. Nesta, to my shock, obeyed. Drifted over to Cassian’s side as Amren replied to Rhys, “No.”

“Cassian casually slid Nesta behind him, his fingers snagging in the skirts of her black gown. As if to reassure himself that she wasn’t in Amren’s direct path. Nesta only rose onto her toes to peer over his shoulder.”

This is a personal favourite of mine because when it is truly dangerous she trusts and relies on Cassian completely. Also just the imagery of her peering over his shoulder is golden.

“Something …” The word was cut off by a low groan. She sagged, and Mor caught her fully, scanning Nesta’s face. Cassian was instantly there, his hand at her back, teeth bared at the invisible threat.”

“I don’t think even the Carver knows what Nesta is. But I wanted to see—just in case.”

“Why?”

“I want to help.”

“How do I fix it?” she asked. Her hair had been tied in a loose knot atop her head earlier in the day, and in the hours that we’d worked to ready and distribute supplies to the healers, through the heat and humidity, stray tendrils had come free to curl about her temple, her nape. Faint color had stained her cheeks from the sun, and her forearms, bare beneath the sleeves she’d rolled up, were flecked with mud.”

Despite any vicious words or silly mistakes they both care for each other, the second anyone becomes a threat or a problem to their counterpart a deeper more hidden feeling emerges. A protective instinct.

Brooding

“He very rarely allowed himself to think of her, anyway. It usually didn’t end well for whoever was in the sparring ring with him.”

“He was grateful the streets were empty when he hurled that box into the Sidra. Hurled it hard enough that the splash echoed off the buildings flanking the river, ice cracking from the impact. Ice instantly re-formed over the hole he’d blown open. As if it, and the present. had never been.”

“Cassian shut out the words. Shut out the image that chased him from his dreams, night after night: not Nesta holding up the King of Hybern’s head like a trophy; not the way her father’s neck had twisted in Hybern’s hands. But the image of her leaning over him, covering Cassian’s body with her own, ready to take the full brunt of the king’s power for him. To die for him—with him. That slender, beautiful body, arching over him, shaking in terror, willing to face that end. He hadn’t seen a glimpse of that person in months. Had not seen her smile or laugh.”

Understanding/Compassion

He may have his slip ups but thus far he has proven to be rather compassionate when it comes to Nesta and understanding where she comes from.

“Mother’s tits, Rhys,” Cassian cut in, wings flaring wide enough to nearly knock over the ceramic vase on the side table next to him. “You think we can just take over her family’s house, demand that of them?”

From before they even met he showed understanding to their beliefs about the fae.

“I don’t blame her,” Cassian said, shrugging despite his words. “She was—violated. Her body stopped belonging wholly to her.” His jaw clenched. Even Amren didn’t dare say anything. “And I am going to peel the King of Hybern’s skin off his bones the next time I see him.”

I think they both have their positive and negative attributes to face but overall they genuinely try their best for each other.

“Dresses aren’t good for flying, ladies.” Nesta didn’t reply.

He lifted a brow. “No barking and biting today?” But Nesta didn’t rise to meet him, her face still drained and sallow. “I’ve never worn pants,” was all she said. I could have sworn concern flashed across Cassian’s features. But he brushed it aside and drawled, “I have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.”

No reaction. Had the Cauldron— Cassian stepped in Nesta’s path when she tried to walk past him. Put a tan, callused hand on her forehead. She shook off the touch, but he gripped her wrist, forcing her to meet his stare. “Any one of those human pricks makes a move to hurt you,” he breathed, “and you kill them.”

The beautiful thing I love about Cassian is that he loves her wholly and without concern of her abilities, her walls.

“Would you be frightened of her, if Nesta was—Death? Or if her power came from it?” Cassian was quiet for a long moment.

He said at last, “I’m a warrior. I’ve walked beside Death my entire life. I would be more afraid for her, to have that power. But not afraid of her.” He considered, and added after a heartbeat, “Nothing about Nesta could frighten me.”

I swallowed, and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

These idiots are both as stubborn and silly as each other, “oh you didn’t say anythign to me!” “well neither did you” honestly, these donuts will be the death of me but I love them anyways.

“And you didn’t say one gods-damned word to me the entire night.

Not that he’d said a word to her. She’d made it clear enough in those initial days after that last battle that she wanted nothing to do with him. With any of them.

He understood. He really did. It had taken him months—years—after his first battles to readjust. To cope. Hell, he was still reeling from what had happened in that final battle with Hybern, too.”

But again he acknowledges her pain, her inability to cope and return to normal after her trauma. Which I dive in to a lot more in my Nesta post, but in short my frustration lies with him saying he understands but then in moments she is suffering he seems to forget occasionally and snap.

Funny/Little moments

“I’d asked what, exactly, Nesta had said to him to get under his skin so easily. But Cassian had only snarled and told me to mind my own business, and that my family was full of bossy, know-it-all females.”

“What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” He stalked past me to the ring. “Is it Nesta?” “Not everything in my life is about your sister, you know.”

“Why should I be scared of an oversized bat who likes to throw temper tantrums?”

“Neither of us missed Cassian’s barked, filthy curse, though we didn’t deign to comment. Cassian was a general—the general of the Night Court. Surely Nesta wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.”

“Ready for some flying, Nes?” “Don’t call me that.” The wrong thing to say, from the way Cassian’s eyes lit up.”

“Nesta in a pale gray gown that brought out the steel in her eyes, Elain in dusty pink. Both males went a bit still. But Azriel sketched a bow—while Cassian stalked for the dining table, reached right over Nesta’s shoulder, and grabbed a muffin from its little basket. “Morning, Nesta,” he said around a mouth of blueberry-lemon. “Elain.”

“Cassian took a step away, but looked back at Nesta. Her face was hard as granite. He opened his mouth, but seemed to decide against whatever he was about to say.”

“He knew about the drinking, about the males. He told himself he didn’t care. He told himself he didn’t want to know who the bastard was who had taken her maidenhead. Told himself he didn’t want to know if the males meant anything—if he meant anything.”

Ownership

“His eyes widened, but the scent of his fear remained—not at her, but at who he’d heard at the front door. As he remembered who she was, both in the court, and to Cassian. She chucked his white shirt to him. “You can use the front door now.”

I think this is a big rub for Nesta, this feeling of ownership. I truly belive she knows and has felt the bond for a little while, for sure after ACOWAR. As we saw with her reaction to Lucien “claiming” Elain as his mate she is not here for this sense of entitlement fae males have.

It doesn’t further help when those around her and in Velaris all treat her as if she is his now. And she is most certainly not.

“Starting with the first male she’d taken here, who had no idea that her maidenhead was intact until he’d spied the speckled blood on the sheets. His face had gone white with terror—pure, ghastly white. Not for fear of Feyre and Rhysand’s wrath. But the wrath of that insufferable Illyrian brute.”

Is this Cassian’s fault? NO. But it probably will not help the situation for her.

“Yet as far as anyone was now concerned, the events of that last battle had bound them. Her and Cassian.”

Promises & Mistakes

“Cassian shook his dark hair out of his eyes, slightly longer than the last time I’d seen it. “I don’t think Nesta will ever forgive me for what happened in Hybern. To her—but mostly to Elain.”

“Your wings were shredded. You were barely alive.”

For that was guilt—ravaging and poisonous—in each of Cassian’s words. What the others had been fighting against in the loft. “You were in no position to save anyone.”“I made her a promise.” The wind ruffled Cassian’s hair as he squinted at the sky. “And when it mattered, I didn’t keep it.”

It is so sad that he feels that way when it clearly was far beyond his control, but I am glad that Nesta doesn’t really hold it against him and when it comes to it later on she trusts him yet again to protect her.

“It goes both ways,” Nesta murmured, as if my mate’s words moments before had triggered the idea. “He doesn’t know how much I took. And if … if I make it seem like I’m about to use his power … He’ll come running. Just to kill me.”

“He will kill you,” Cassian snarled. Her hand clenched on his arm. “That’s—that’s where you come in.”

noooow for the scene we probably all equally cringe over...

“Stop following me. Stop trying to haul me into your happy little circle. Stop doing all of it.”

He knew a wounded animal when he saw one. Knew the teeth they could bare, the viciousness they displayed. But it couldn’t keep him from saying, “Your sisters love you. I can’t for the life of me understand why, but they do. If you can’t be bothered to try for my happy little circle’s sake, then at least try for them.”

A void seemed to enter those eyes. An endless, depthless void.

Other than simply being hurt and frustrated I cannot for the life of me understand why he would say that of all things, it is such a hurtful but also random thing to say especially since he seemed to find plenty to like about her prior.

But again they are both akin to make mistakes, saying things they shouldn’t, Nesta certainly cannot complain as she can be very bad for it.

ICONIC.

“Nesta surged to her feet, staggering across the clearing, blood at her mouth from where he’d hit her, and threw herself to her knees before Cassian. “Get up,” she sobbed, hauling at his shoulder. “Get up.” He tried—and failed. “You’re too heavy,” she pleaded, but still tried to raise him, fingers scrabbling in his black, bloodied armor. “I can’t—he’s coming—” “Go,” Cassian groaned. Cassian grunted in pain, but lifted his bloodied hands—to cup her face. “I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” She didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her—lightly. As much as he could[…]”

“And even the Cauldron seemed to pause in surprise—surprise or some … feeling as Nesta looked at the king with death twining around his hands, then down at Cassian. And covered Cassian’s body with her own. Cassian went still—then his hand slid over her back. Together. They’d go together.”

“Cassian was sizing up Nesta, a gleam in his eyes that I could only interpret as a warrior finding himself faced with a new, interesting opponent.

Then, Mother above, Nesta shifted her attention to Cassian, noticing that gleam—what it meant. She snarled softly, “What are you looking at?”

Cassian’s brows rose—little amusement to be found now. “Someone who let her youngest sister risk her life every day in the woods while she did nothing. Someone who let a fourteen-year-old child go out into that forest, so close to the wall.” My face began heating, and I opened my mouth. To say what, I didn’t know. “Your sister died—died to save my people. She is willing to do so again to protect you from war. So don’t expect me to sit here with my mouth shut while you sneer at her for a choice she did not get to make—and insult my people in the process.”

Nesta didn’t bat an eyelash as she studied the handsome features, the muscled torso. Then turned to me. Dismissing him entirely. Cassian’s face went almost feral. A wolf who had been circling a doe … only to find a mountain cat wearing its hide instead.”

Nesta

“Nesta is different from most people,” I explained. “She comes across as rigid and vicious, but I think it’s a wall. A shield—like the ones Rhys has in his mind.”

“Against what?”

“Feeling. I think Nesta feels everything—sees too much; sees and feels it all. And she burns with it. Keeping that wall up helps from being overwhelmed, from caring too greatly.”

And I think that is what makes one of the last things we hear from her in ACOFAS where she admits she isn’t feeling anything at all, a stark contrast from before the war. She is traumatised. Unfeeling,

“Until she drew her knees to her chest and stared into the dimness. Still the silence raged and echoed around her. Still she felt nothing.”

"Nesta struggles a lot with her mental health, with facing her past, with healing herself and learning to love herself and open herself up to other people." -Sarah J Maas

As for the next book I think it will be about both of them learning to heal, to grow, and face all the unspoken things between them. I personally cannot wait for both of them to do so, I love them both equally.

They are both flawed and complicated characters but that is precisely what I love about them.

As usual I say, I am always open to discussions and opinions, I love to chat but lets keep it calm and respectful. Everyones opinion is valid ♥️

#nessian #nesta archeron #ACOTAR #ACOTAR 4 #Cassian #Nesta x Cassian #A court of thorns and roses #mine #nessian meta #cassian x nesta #Anonymous

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kerice · 3 years

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Painful Memories...

I came across some old photos. Some of my wedding. I can look at these pictures now with less emotion. There is sadness but I really can’t identify with that person in the photo anymore. Does this mean I have detached myself? I remember being there. Have I healed from the wounds that are still painful to mention? This day, more than 17 years ago, was a start of a major trial in my life. Having the courage to work through the pain of recovery has helped give me the drive and tenacity to overcome financial debt and to succeed in school.

My academic journey started back in 1996, academic achievement did not come easy to me in high school, but I wanted to get a good job, so a few years after high school I started classes at Seattle Central College, in Seattle Washington. I then had a child at age 25 and I became a single mom. I am always inspired by women who say that without hesitation, trepidation or feeling less than women who have a partner. When my son was about three years old, I transferred to Bellevue College. They had a work study program where I could work at the school daycare (where my son was) and also work on my career goals, while having my son close. Due to the early birth of my second son on Nov. 27th, I was unable to finish my last two weeks of course work in the fall of 2003. As a result, I received a failed grade in my personal enrichment courses of French 201 and Algebra II. However my GPA for my science classes were within the range they needed to be. But, even so, I had to quit my job and dropped out of college since my son was born two weeks before the final exams.

On the day of the wedding, It was a beautiful, warm day in September 2004, I remember, the kids were dancing and laughing, the lakeside property was gorgeous. I remember my family and friends being around me, it felt like a different life. I don’t like going back in my thoughts. The pain of those memories has become less as time’s gone on. To go from such a happy day celebrating with the person I wanted to live my life with to days later, almost losing my life to this person. This is a story, no one wants to tell. Four days after my wedding, I was a victim of a road rage incident, where I was physically assaulted and (along with my infant son) nearly killed. My husband of four days was charged with reckless endangerment and assault and then arrested. A passerby had seen the incident and called 911. I still can’t believe this happened to me. He never apologized for what he had put us through, we never saw him again except at a distance. I then started therapy for the physical pain that was inflicted on me, the emotional pain would be a much longer process of healing.

When you go through the family court system and testify in front of everyone, what you go through, it is very difficult. After the shock wears off, the shame sets in, it’s hard to talk about. They (the court advocates) encourage you to talk, saying that it saves lives. I felt lost and defeated. I was forced to go through court ordered therapy, which I knew, any invasive findings would be broadcast in court. I had to acknowledge other incidences of abuse that led up to the escalation to the road rage. I was faced with the reality of my own denial of what was happening to me. The excuses I would make to myself. He was just stressed out. Maybe it was a psychotic break? I couldn’t be objective or logical enough to begin to imagine why someone would do such things to a person they profess to love. I didn’t want a stomach ulcer on top of everything else. I was able to get a pro bono attorney for the first trial. But after my ex-husband went to domestic violence treatment, there was a new trial. This was because, where there is “abusive use of conflict,” the courts don’t allow mediation to settle parenting plans. This put me in financial peril, and I have struggled financially ever since.

It’s been many years since the assault and arrest. I was vilified and blamed for what caused our separation to our community and friends. According to his account, it was all an exaggeration, a misunderstanding. I heard him say in court that I was crazy, emotionally unbalanced. Especially during the child custody proceedings. I was so afraid of him and what he would do to me. I couldn’t even comprehend fully what he was doing, who he even was. Was he my enemy now? He blamed me for getting him arrested, even though I had not been the one who called the police, but an anonymous stranger did! I felt alone, scared, traumatized. I hated having to go through the court hearings and hear the venomous words coming from him and his attorney. It made me feel crazy, out of my mind. I had to get away, I saw him everywhere, I was always looking over my shoulder. Sudden movements would make me jump. Flashes of the trauma would enter my mind. While driving my car, when I would see brake lights I would tense up and my heart would skip a beat. How could I even co-parent with this person? My Post Traumatic Stress was keeping me from moving beyond what happened to me, keeping me from moving forward. But I knew I had to somehow keep it together and be strong for my children.

After the divorce, I was given permission to move out of state. In 2007, my brother, who lived in Northern Kentucky, offered me a job. Because of this, I was able to move out of state with my children. I am so grateful to my brother for his help in this transition. During this time, my father had entered retirement from the military out on the west coast. He and my mother were planning on moving to Cincinnati to help my brother with his business. The timing of the move was good since we would be able to have the support of my family, during this time of healing and transition. Upon my move, my ex was continuing to file motions at the Seattle court house. I had to hire an attorney, from out of state, to represent me and to respond to every motion filed. Within 5 years, he filed 12 motions that were all dismissed for lack of credibility. Even though he was ordered to pay my attorney’s fees, these orders were not enforced, therefore leading me to incur much debt over the years. With the two divorce trials costing $40,000 and the additional $10,000, my finances were in trouble. I had to ask my parents for help with these huge costs. Two years after the divorce, he stopped paying child support and my daycare costs exceeded $6,000. I had to ask my parents for help with the kids, which allowed me to work more hours to pay my debts. I have been used to working two or sometimes three jobs to get a handle on my finances. In 2015 I was able to receive vocational training so I could earn more per hour.

I am a single parent living in the Cincinnati area for almost 14 years now. After much healing and hard work, I am anxious to continue my academic career goals. I am the proud parent of two well-adjusted young adults and I’ve had much experience juggling work, school and parenting. I also became the caretaker of my grandmother the last year of her life. In which I moved her into my home with my two children. During this time, as I partnered with the hospice care staff, I assisted in many nursing responsibilities. Reflecting back on this now, I feel that nursing is the field I belong in. During my time in Cosmetology school, I took on another caretaking job. I did this while managing my other full-time job. Then in 2018, I enrolled in an accelerated program at the Cincinnati School of Medical Massage. Where we had rigorous course work in A&P and Pathology. I also became a personal care assistant in 2018. I also currently work as a licensed Cosmetologist and LMT, as well as an STNA.

I am happy to say that my domestic partner and fiancé is supportive of my desire to finish my nursing education. Over time I had developed a tougher exterior, not able to readily identify with my feelings. I was so guarded, out of necessity. An armor of survival. I find it more difficult to make friends, especially deep friendships that take invested time and effort. Letting people in feels too high of a risk at times, as the emotional scars surface. Where I attended massage school, they taught us what it means to be “semi-permeable.” The idea of boundary lines that define your personal space and the space for the client. If you are too closed off, then you won’t be able to tune into anyone else’s needs. This was a wonderful exercise for me in many ways. It’s helped me in my relationship with my children as well. In the past, I’ve heard awful comments directed towards me, anywhere from saying that I am a bad mother, to questions like, why didn’t I just get an abortion. Being on the other end of the parenthood journey, with my kids entering the adult world, I would say it was worth the pain, the struggle. We persevered, we are all tough as nails, I can see it from the work ethic my kids have. Even in the most ideal circumstances, children can still have issues. But seeing the love for me in their eyes is very moving. Watching them run around, playing and laughing is like watching my heart dancing outside of me. I wish that some things had been different for them. But through the struggle, we established a strong bond, which I believe will last for years to come. I don’t know who made this quote but it sums up so much. “A son makes love stronger, days shorter, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.”

This trial has taught me to not be too quick to dismiss the notion that real love does heal our wounds. In my younger years I would have thought of that notion too trite. Having my children with me in my life has given me profound purpose and meaning. As small children, they looked to me as their constant, their calming force. They were my purpose for staying strong, stoic, steady. When they were little and even now, I give them my continued support. Also, it took me years of being single to allow myself to fall in love again. I feel thankful to my family and to my God that I have another chance at a lifetime partnership. So much healing has taken place but the memories in the emotions are still there. The muscle memories within the physical scars, are still there.

I see what those court advocate where talking about, all those years ago. I have come through the pain of a trial that allows me to empathize with the profound pain of others. Sharing my pain can save lives, or at least meeting others at their depths, so they feel less alone. Not that I have the answers, only the experience in the struggle to survive. I believe now, as a nurse (or soon to be) I can come along side someone and show them I understand what it’s like to be in pain. I can better understand where they’re at because of what I’ve been through. Not everyone is ready to hear a story like mine. A lot of times i get the, “ wide eyed, gaping mouth” reaction. But sometimes I meet someone who says, that it was what they needed to hear. It gives them the courage to set out on their own journey of survival. To start fresh, to start over if that’s what is necessary to start the healing process. As a massage therapist I deal with people and their physical pain all the time. I build care plans around strategies to begin the healing process. Many times, the physical pain is locked up with emotional pain underneath. I understand this, as I am there with them, letting them cry through their trauma. It’s a process that I feel privileged using my skills and abilities to aid in the healing.

#dv survivor #studyblr #nursingschool #healing from trauma #health and wellbeing #self care #battlescars #essay writing #kindness #be gentle with yourself

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masterweaverx · 4 years

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I be a nerd, I be liking D&D, and I be watchin' a lot of Tulok the Barbrarian's 'Building Character' series, where he puts together how to play as various fictional characters in fifth edition up to level 20. He's done Ruby, he's done Yang, but I was bored so I figured I'd follow his format and try to guess how he'd do Blake. This is going to be a lot of Nerd Rambling, so here we go.

So, outlining the goals: Agility is a must for any Blake build, she's got a lot of nimbleness to her. She also uses two swords--one of which is also a whip and a pistol, and the other a sheathe that can be combined to make an extra sword--so she should have weapon versatility. And of course there's her semblence, can't have a Blake without a Blake Buddy, and we need that Blake Buddy to be useful.

Tulok uses standard point array for a reason, it skips over the fiddliness of 'rolling' and 'pointbuy'. Also useful for organizing high stats to low. Blake's very nimble and a lot of her weapons count as finesse or ranged, so putting the 15 into dexterity is a no-brainer. She's also very good at spotting things and analyzing the situation--wisdom's generally where that sort of thing comes from, so it gets a 14. Charisma is the skill you need to make big speeches about how the White Fang has gone downhill and get people to listen, plugging the 13 in there seems good. And she likes her books, so 12 for intelligence is obvious. Between strength and constitution I think I'd dump strength--constitution is about HP and endurance, so it'd get the 10, and proficiency in the Athletics skill should make up for the weakness having an 8 in strength gives.

For race, I'd say a Swiftstride Shifter works best. Specifically the statblock from the Races of Eberron Unearthed Arcana--I've seen one without Keen Senses and, yeah, that didn't make sense to me. Swiftstride Shifters get +2 to their Dexterity, bumping Blake up to 17, and +1 to their Charisma, evening that out to 14. They also get sixty feet of Darkvision, Keen Senses for an automatic Perception proficiency, and Graceful for an automatic Acrobatics proficiency. And then there's the big draw--automatically got 35 walk speed (5 more than the usual norm), plus they can trigger a one-minute transformation for both another +5 speed (total of 40 feet) and the ability to move 10 feet as a reaction when an enemy ends their round within 5 feet of them without triggering attacks of Oppurtunity. (Also get some temporary hit points during the transformation, but that's a side benefit.) Blake's hard to hit even before she gets class levels. And her first class level will make her even harder to hit.

For Background I figure Courtier from Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide works best. It gives Blake proficiency in Insight and Persuasion, two extra languages of her choice, and the feature Court Functionary. To quote the online source I'm using:

Your knowledge of how bureaucracies function lets you gain access to the records and inner workings of any noble court or government you encounter. You know who the movers and shakers are, whom to go to for the favors you seek, and what the current intrigues of interest in the group are.

Very much something Blake would be interested in. Admittedly, for her noble courts are more the 'legally dubious' organizations like the White Fang and the Happy Huntresses, but being the daughter of the chief of Kuo Kuana probably gives her some political acumen anyway.

I'm not going to go level-by-level like Turlok does, I don't think anyone here wants me to ramble too much, but I will say Blake will be getting nine levels of Rogue and eleven of Fighter. Four Rogue levels, five Fighter levels, five more Rogue levels, then six Fighter levels. Starting with Rogue gives her a lot of proficiencies, and fighter... a lot less, when she multiclasses into it, but enough to shore up Rogue. Rogues get proficiencies in Light Armor and Simple Weapons (and a bunch of specific Martial Weapons, but multiclassing into Fighter gives her all the Martial Weapons anyway so no need to be specific there). They also get proficiencies in Thieves' Tools, which work on traps as well as locks, and on Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws--Blake's smart enough not to be fooled and nimble enough to get out of the way. Finally, they get four skill proficiencies, and I figure Blake would go with Athletics, Deception, Investigation, and Stealth to round out her ninja-ing. Multiclassing into Fighter gives a character proficiency in Simple and Martial Weapons, as well as Light and Medium Armor and Shields; honestly, Blake isn't going to be using those proficiencies much, it's more for the class features, but I thought I'd mention them.

With nine levels of Rogue come most of the standard Rogue abilities, which mostly make Blake that much harder to hit, so I'll only go over the stuff that has to be chosen. Blake gets two expertises on their first and sixth level, which she can choose to place on any skill to double her proficiency bonus on them; Acrobatics, Athletics, Investigation, and Persuasion are what I figured fit her most.

A third level Rogue chooses a Roguish Archetype, and the website I'm using has 'Acrobat' as an option; that gives Blake Ariel Artistry at third Rogue level (When she moves, she can instead take two short movements by flying. Each movement is half her speed, and she must end each one on a solid object or the ground. If she does not, she falls and her movement ends.) and Fearless Aerialist at ninth Rogue level (she no longer takes damage from falling).

And then there are the Ability Score Improvements at fourth and eighth level; for fourth level I figure Blake would appreciate the Dual Wielder feat, and because I'm splitting 4-5-5-6 that means the eighth level Improvement is actually Blake's third improvement, so there's be +1 to Dexterity and +1 to Intelligence (because she already got +2 to Dexterity from Fighter), so that would cap her Dexterity at 20 and make her Intelligence 13. Also, the Dual Wielder feat for reference:

You master fighting with two weapons, gaining the following benefits:

You gain a +1 bonus to AC while you are wielding a separate melee weapon in each hand. You can use two-weapon fighting even when the one-handed melee weapons you are wielding aren't light. You can draw or stow two one-handed weapons when you would normally be able to draw or stow only one.

So this basically covers most of Blake's "normal" mobility, but her combat capabilities and Semblance will be covered by Fighter.

The non-variable Fighter improvements boil down to 'extra attacks, extra actions, and a few features to help you shrug off damage.' Blake is nothing if not tenacious. Of the variable features, I think she'd pick up the Two-Weapon Fighting Style on her first Fighter level, because that lets her use her ability score with the damage of her bonus attack with her offhand weapon (high Dex, lotta hitting power). Her ability score improvments at Fighter Level Four, Six, and Eight would be two points to Dexterity, Charisma, and Wisdom respectively. For those at home, that means her Dexterity is 20, Charisma and Wisdom 16 each, Intelligence 13, Constitution 10 and Strength 8 when all's said and done. Of course, third level fighters get to pick a martial Archetype that gives them benefits as they level, and Echo Knight is perfectly suited for Blake. Right off the bat, she gets this:

Manifest Echo 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can use a bonus action to magically manifest an echo of yourself in an unoccupied space you can see within 15 feet of you. This echo is a magical, translucent, gray image of you that lasts until it is destroyed, until you dismiss it as a bonus action, until you manifest another echo, or until you're incapacitated.

Your echo has AC 14 + your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw, it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It is the same size as you, and it occupies its space. On your turn, you can mentally command the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction (no action required). If your echo is ever more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn, it is destroyed. You can use the echo in the following ways:

-As a bonus action, you can teleport, magically swapping places with your echo at a cost of 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you.

-When you take the Attack action on your turn, any attack you make with that action can originate from your space or the echo's space. You make this choice for each attack.

-When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves at least 5 feet away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo's space.

Unleash Incarnation 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can heighten your echo's fury. Whenever you take the Attack action, you can make one additional melee attack from the echo's position.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

At Fighter level seven, Blake would get Echo Avatar, which lets her send her Echo on scouting missions for ten minutes at a time. Not very in character, sure. But she's very aware of everything anyway, so it's not surprising she'd have eyes and ears everywhere. And then, at level ten, she gets the very appropriately named Shadow Martyr, which lets her make her Echo teleport and take the hit for any creature she can see being attacked as a reaction. That is very much in character for Blake.

Technically, the eleventh level of Fighter (and the twentieth level of the build) gives her another extra attack, which could be devastating with all the weapons she can juggle thanks to Dual Wielder and her weapon proficiencies. I'm not sure if that's better then a tenth level in Rogue, which would give her another ability score improvement, but it does mean she can rain down a lot of pain very quickly--and the woman cut down a missile barrage once! While boosted. But it happened!

So yeah, that's my take on it.

#RWBY #Dungeons & Dragons #D&D 5E #Blake Belladonna #Character Build

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thesummerstorms · 4 years

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Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 16)

After last chapter, I had two glasses of moscato, so we’ll see how this goes.

CW: repeated mentions of rotting animal corpses/smell, characters getting covered in sewage (again), claustrophobia, mind influence

TL;DR Recap: Atin and Darman go through the gdan warrens into Uthan’s facility and discover they’re claustrophobic. Niner blows up the villa to cover the explosives Darman is using to enter the facility, and Majestic bombs some droids from orbit. Etain tries her best to be helpful. The blogger makes fun of both Atin and Dar for their explosives use. Atin and Dar find Uthan.

Beginning Kal Count: 30 Ending Kal Count: 32

So we’re gonna open up in Darman’s point of view.

I don’t know shit about guns. I live in Texas, but have never held, much less shot one. Does this mean that Atin has his finger on the trigger or is holding it just above it in the little circle thingy?

Also, Darman, sweetheart. Being the bomb factory does not stop you from blowing up. Just saying.

Kal Count is upped to 31, but mainly I just kinda love this quote. If you’ve read Triple Zero, then you may join me in the delicious irony of them wanting black armor this entire mission for disguise purposes only to finally get it right before a mission to Fest. Thus proving Atin’s point above. Anyway Jinart is sniffing echolocating her way along ahead of them, and eventually comes to a stop and points out the entrance to the gdan tunnels. They need to crawl through the warrens in order to capture Uthan inside the facility... so of course this is the moment that Atin and Dar both find out that they’re claustrophobic:

I’m not even claustrophobic, and it sounds miserable to me, to be quite honest. But, on a more... pointed, note. Izzy has already explained much more fluently than me how much this scene means Kal is an absolute shit planner. Because Kal built a home on Mandalore that was supposed to be a safe haven for any clone deserters who wanted to become Mandalorian in True Colors/Order 66... but Kyrimorut was built at least partially underground and partially uses underground tunnels both as exits and as connections.

I’m just saying, as we go through this chapter... we’re gonna see why that might be an issue.But first-

Listen, I may hate Jinart, but this scene makes me laugh pretty much every time. Every time. No inspirational metaphors for Atin, and Jinart is 100% scowling at him.

They continue on through the tunnels, and honestly the details get gross. Not just in the typical “fantasy escape through sewers trope” kind of way, but Darman smells something rotten that reminds him of bodies and Geonosis, so on top of his dizziness from the claustrophobia, he now has nausea, as does Atin. They ask Jinart about it and her first reply misses the point:

Listen, my guy tells me this is some sort of health code violaton, but I know fuck all about plumbing. And no, that is not all they can smell, but Jinart apparently doesn’t notice the smell of decomposition until it’s pointed out to her. Jinart eventually realizes what they’re talking about and assures them that it’s from the gdan’s prey. Darman feels relieved for at least a moment (that stops when he sticks his hands in entrails) but I’d just like to point out that the gdan, while primarily hunting merlies, have tried to eat our human protagonists literally every time they step foot outside. Anyway, Darman puts his hand in entrails, has a flashback of Skirata running next to him in something called the “sickener” which was essentially training in a pit full of nerf entrails, and struggles not to throw up in his sealed helmet. Joyful.

Kal Count is now 32.

Eventually they reach a larger chamber where Dar and Atin start digging out their tunnel to the pipes under the facility and Jinart leaves them to go back to Niner after Dar sends her away. Darman notes that it would only take one or two shots from the rifle to clear, but that would bring the roof AND a bunch of droids on top of them, so he and Atin keep working and sweating like pigs.Once they dig close enough, Darman uses their battering ram to break into the drain, and is promptly covered in a spray of shit from the pipes. This sends both him and Atin into hysterics, because again, they’re both not doing well in the confined space and are exhausted.

“Darman had never even seen the man smile.” And the first time is when Darman is covered in shit from a sewer pipe. Darman comms Niner to tell him they’re almost through, and the scene switches to Niner’s point of view.

Dar explains that they’re stuck at a filter in the pipe that will have to be blown open with explosives because it’s permacreted in. Darman asks for two minutes to set the charge, and Niner worries the entire time. He, Fi, and Etain don’t have anything to do yet, but he’s worried for Dar and Atin.

Niner is literally counting seconds and dealing with anxiety, Fi is calmly waiting with the cannon... and Etain is pacing. This is her nervous habit. Like, I had already headcanoned that, but it’s nice to be confirmed by canon. Even if Niner wants to chastise her for it and can’t.

Man, he’s literally counting the seconds. Etain is the queen of asking well-intentioned but awkward as hell questions, and I’m pretty sure the lack of “ma’am” is the closest Niner is every going to get to saying “fuck you”. I could definitely live without yet another mention of mind influence, but as I say, addressed in Triple Zero... and at least Niner’s not nauseated anymore I guess?

They blow the filter on the facility and the bombs in the villa at the same time to disguise Atin and Darman’s entrance. Droids start coming out of the facility, which is disguised with a barn, to investigate, but Niner orders Fi & the E-Web to wait and tries to dismiss Etain/get her out of the way.

Etain is already not content with her Trandoshan shotgun array blaster or Traviss has forgotten she has it, which isn’t unlikely. She wants the concussion rifle instead (looking at it “longingly” already!), and she wants a job to do.

Niner gives Fi the go ahead, so he opens up with the E-Web (which again a literal, actual cannon) and starts firing, with Niner assisting via grenades. The entire time, they’re being rained on with “hot, metal shrapnel”. But the droids stop advancing. so then Niner asks Majestic to bomb them from orbit if the droids start headed towards them from another direction.

Other than Fi’s comment, I’m not particularly sure why Niner expects Etain to be “in distress”. Or how he missed the fact that he was almost decapitated by shrapnel until Etain deflected it. Ngl it took me several readings of this scene to even parse the exact sequence of events. BUT it is nice for Etain to finally, actually get to be useful to Niner and Fi and do Jedi things without everyone including her beating her up about her weakness.

The scene cuts back to Niner & Dar, who have successfully made it in to Uthan’s facility:

Apparently if you leave Darman and Atin alone together without Niner or some other regulating force, you just get unending sass.

Dar has no idea what’s dangerous and what isn’t, so they decide to just explode everything, to be on the safe side. They make it through the inner chamber and are approaching the front of the complex, but haven’t seen anything yet. Majestic is bombing things outside. Dar is literally sticking high-burning explosives to everything he can.

“Disappointingly small” Darman please.

Darman. Why are you opening the potential virus box, Darman.

You can’t set in NEXT to the potential virus box? Like the box is somehow gonna withstand that charge?

Yes, Atin, the fridge door is going to withstand the military grade explosives.

Anyway, Atin uses a mini emp to partially unseal a containment door, which is useful and also will later screw them over. It raises just enough for Dar to wedge something under it and the two of them the muscle it open, and then they start the “house clearing” portion of the op, headed into the part of the facility that’s actually inhabited. Droids and Separatists pin them down, so they comm to Fi & Niner. Then things get worse as they’re pinned in place by bulkheads.

So things are not looking great. They’re trapped by bulkheads, surrounded by Seps on the other side of those bulk heads, they no longer have access to their explosives.

Except.

I had to google what “half look different” meant. Like, I was pretty sure it meant “really” but I had to use google to confirm. Provided the British don’t also use a different connotation of “amazing” when using it in slang though... Atin likes Uthan’s hair?

Anyway, they found the mad scientist trying to kill them, and she’s armed and trapped in a confined space with them, so we hit a pretty good cliffhanger here, or would’ve if this were an episode and not a chapter.

#Republic Commando #Repcomm #Rev Recaps RepComm #Darman Skirata #Atin Skirata #Jinart #Niner Skirata #Etain Tur-Mukan #Hard Contact

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 5 years

Text

Okay -- you know what we’re not talking about enough?

How eventually the main narrative of the MCU shows its imperialistic ideology that they have tried to hide under a very fragile façade of “complexity”. (Guess what? Accountability never mattered.)

Don’t get me wrong - I know that the sole purpose of Avengers: Endgame was to bring us all into the movie theater, which it did, and not to be good or make sense, but the way to bring us all into the movie theater was so paint the product with a glittery progressive varnish while the product was still subliminally feeding us conservative messages. And yet Endgame was so badly written that the varnish went off in multiple points...

The movie basically spells out that Tony Stark was right in endorsing security at the cost of freedom (fun fact: outside the shiny attention-grabbing fatherhood arc that got us all like ‘aww’, there is no character development for Tony, who was convinced he needed to develop technology to save the world and died knowing he had needed to develop technology to save the world).

Thanos justifies Tony’s actions all along, and the narrative doesn’t contradict a very simple reading: Steve has been precious about his little fancy morals while Tony was right in Age of Ultron and Civil War.

Again, it also doesn’t do justice to Tony’s character at all because he never learns anything. He starts thinking he needs to save the world with his technology and ends being proven right, while Steve was wrong in breaking up the team because of morals they couldn’t afford to entertain.

Our first mistake was dismissing Age of Ultron as Whedon crap that we could ignore because it was so bad we could treat it as an outlier.

Because now that we have the full picture... it wasn’t an outlier. The narrative has been consistent ever since then, even by switching directors/writers.

Steve: “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.” Pulled us apart like cotton candy. Tony: Seems like you walked away all right. Steve: Is that a problem? Tony: I don’t trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned. Steve: Well let’s just say you haven’t seen it yet. Tony: You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right? Steve: Well I guess you’d know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question. Tony: Banner and I were doing research. Steve: That would affect the team. Tony: That would end the team. Isn’t that the mission? Isn’t that the “why” we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home? Steve: Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.

Don’t get me started on Steve’s “dark side” because you don’t want to pull on that thread. How they managed to simultaneously have a pretty 100% heteronormative picture and paint queerness as toxic while having no queerness in the picture.

But Age of Ultron just spelled it out. We thought that what Age of Ultron put on the table was what was going to be subverted eventually. But it was never subverted.

Tony was the one who needed to come up with the technology to save the world. Steve’s home was the past with Peggy. The story was never about found family, it was about a team that had its reason to exist as long as the fight wasn’t over, then each of them would go home. (If you don’t have a home, you can jump off a cliff.)

Tony: Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn’t wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming. Steve: Tony, I’m gonna need you to focus. Tony: And I needed you. As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It’s too late buddy. Sorry. You know what I need. I need to shave. And I believe I remember telling you, Cap. Rhodey: Tony, Tony, Tony, stop! Tony: That what we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedom or not--that’s what we needed! Steve: Well, that didn’t work out, did it? Tony: I said, “we’ll lose”. You said, “We’ll do that together too”. And guess what, Cap? We lost. You weren’t there. But that’s what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We’re the Avengers, we’re the Avengers. Not the Prevengers, right?

Eventually they save the world by literally being “prevengers”, going back in time to get the stones before Thanos and (*facepalm*) defeating a Thanos who had no idea who they even were because he had not met them yet. (Let’s not even discuss how bad storytelling that is, regardless of anything else: the final battle is against... a past version of the villain who hasn’t met them or done the thing to them yet, so the “avenging” is purely one-sided and the villain has no clue who the fuck their opponents are before learning about them 3 seconds before and figuring out what happened. Sigh.)

Obviously the time travel is a fantastic element, but it is still a symbol of preventing the villain from operating. The war has started for them, but not for their enemy -- we need to take the weapon of mass destruction before the enemy uses them... (oops.)

At the end of the day, those five years of mourning (and problems that will be caused by half the population “skipping” five years’ worth of life of the other half) and possibly the deaths in the movie... are because Steve Rogers broke the team up because he was being fastidious about his precious freedom and too high-and-mighty to trust Tony’s judgement.

Sure, the scene I quoted is framed as Tony’s desperate venting, but does the narrative challenge that? No, in fact it plays clever and places the avengers as actual “prevengers” through the time travel thing.

Sure, Steve is given flashy moments that tell us he’s “worthy” and has a great ass and whatever. But does the narrative ever challenge the subliminal, subtle villainization of him operated by those few movies? Although of course, Endgame is written badly enough that instead of subtly framing him like some kind of protofascist gay libertarian, he just has no characterization at all except of affected from a severe case of heteronormativity.

I mean, if I wanted to instill a deeply conservative and imperialistic ideology to a bunch of progressive kids, I’d dangle Captain America in front of them and then destroy him by emptying his entire arc of meaning. Among the rest.

#not mcu friendly #my mcu thoughts #this post is very salty if you disagree with it just ignore it #i'm basically venting #i'm also very tired right now this has drained me #lol #mcu

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argentdandelion · 5 years

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Undyne's Prejudice (Part 2)

Undyne's Prejudice Part 2

Author Patreon - Author Ko-Fi

According to this source, prejudice is: “An unjustifiable negative attitude toward an outgroup or members of this outgroup.” Undyne’s anti-human attitude certainly fits. She stereotypes all humans as bad, likely from human actions in the first war and in Asriel’s death. She thus wants revenge on all humans, not just the humans responsible for those crimes. (See “All humans will die!”)

At first, Undyne considers Frisk representative of all humans, and fit to take punishment for humans' crimes. At the dramatic crag, she says: "your continued existence is a crime!” and in an earlier encounter states: "This is your only chance to redeem yourself...give me your soul”, as if a pacifist Frisk really needs redemption.

One could argue Undyne’s unwavering aggression is just pragmatism: she’s doing what’s necessary for monsters’ freedom, something like killing wild pigs to survive on a deserted island. While her first encounter and the bridge sequence support the idea, she’s not so efficient later on: she explains why Frisk’s death is necessary, how their existence is a crime, and even how to block her attacks. She also acts needlessly terrifying. She sets up a scene where an Echo Flower (with her voice) says “behind you” before she appears, and in her battle, she drags a finger across her throat in front of Frisk. (generally understood as “I’ll decapitate/guillotine you”)1

Double Standard

Undyne outright uses a double-standard: while she condemns Frisk for being a "wimp" and a "coward", she doesn't do the same for monsters such as Papyrus and Asgore. She unfavorably contrasts a pacifist Frisk with humans in Alphys' "history", and calls them a coward. She doesn't believe Frisk is actually good. Instead, she believes they're a conniving human just biding their time, whose kindness is merely a "goody two-shoes schtick".

Papyrus is similarly very kind. While Undyne won’t let Papyrus into the Royal Guard because she believes he’s too nice and so will get ripped into tiny smiling shreds, he’s no “wimp”: Undyne admits he’s really tough.

It takes until the end of her hangout for her for her double-standard to collapse. At that point, she tells Frisk: "You're a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him..." (which could apply to either Papyrus or Asgore)

Undyne is Very Prejudiced

That Undyne is prejudiced against humans isn’t very remarkable; what’s remarkable is how her prejudice is so severe and persistent. In the words of the book Mistakes Were Made: “Most people will put a lot of mental energy into preserving their prejudice rather than having to change it, often by waving away discomfirming evidence as ‘exceptions that prove the rule.’” This absurdity is an example of motivated reasoning.

Certainly, Undyne is committed in her beliefs Frisk is up to no good and cannot be sincere in their kind acts. Facing feelings that conflict with her prejudice for humans, she denies, dismisses, or explains it away, such as assuming her thoughts about being friends with Frisk come from human mind-control.2

She assumes the worst of Frisk, even if they’ve done nothing wrong. As an example of “waving away discomfirming evidence”, she interprets Frisk saving Monster Kid on the bridge (a clearly heroic act) as Frisk’s desire to “hide behind that kid” (presumably as a living shield). In this interpretation, Frisk is a coward, and she hates cowards. Bizarrely, if Frisk runs away, Undyne interprets Monster Kid as Frisk’s friend, but only to criticize Frisk for “abandoning their friend” to run away.

Undyne seems to accept her job is dangerous, even morally distasteful. She has likely had years to accept this, and think of her job as necessary and noble. (in contrast to taking care of them until they die of natural causes)

In claiming Frisk is “standing in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams”, Undyne is likely referencing the second human-monster war and its purpose. By letting Frisk go just because they act “nice”, Undyne might think she’s denying monsters their long-sought freedom: an unjust choice.

It’s possible that, the more she attacks Frisk, the more she must she must convince herself she hates them, or that their death is otherwise reasonable. She surely wants to hate Frisk: it makes her job easier. Even Monster Kid wants to hate Frisk: after learning Frisk is a human, Monster Kid assumes they have to be enemies and asks Frisk to say something mean so they have an excuse to hate Frisk.

Undyne’s prejudice, motivated reasoning, and cognitive dissonance are so high, kindness alone cannot sway her. When Undyne collapses from the heat in Hotland and Frisk revives her with some water, Undyne doesn’t suddenly realize the error of her ways. She gives up chasing Frisk herself not from a lack of will, or because further pursuit is impossible (without armor and with proper hydration, she could go a little farther), but because the way she was defeated was so humiliating. She may very well believe Frisk revived her just to make her live with the shame of that method.3

Later, when Frisk shows up for the hangout and chooses all the friendly dialogue choices, Undyne is more hostile and rejecting than if they had chosen the “incorrect” options. Frisk being so nice clashes with her beliefs, making her hate Frisk even more.

Dehumanization

The greatest evidence for Undyne being very prejudiced is the Echo Flower “behind you” speech and dramatic crag speech.

In both speeches, she explains her actions to Frisk. One could argue her explanations and asking (or demanding) Frisk give up their SOUL is her trying to get Frisk’s SOUL without killing them, or persuading them to accept death for a noble cause. However, monsters don’t seem to think they can get human souls without the humans dying; Frisk would die no matter what.

It’s more likely Undyne puts on a show of explaining her actions and treating the human as a criminal, rather than an object, due to dehumanization. This means Undyne’s acknowledgement of Frisk’s personhood fuels her desire to kill them, so her dehumanization adds to her prejudice.

Moreover, she tells Frisk to “step forward when you’re ready” to start her fight, and if Frisk fails to block spears in her fight four times, she exasperatedly says: “I thought if I beat you like this...it’d truly show how strong monsters can be.” Her words only make sense if she respects humans, or thinks them similar to monsters. People don’t kill invasive species with arrows rather than machine guns to gain the animals’ respect, after all.

Furthermore, before the hangout, Undyne talks to Frisk but doesn't seem to care for an actual reply. Weirdly, she doesn't even ask Frisk's name by the end of the hangout, or even when Frisk delivers a letter to Alphys. (Though, to be fair, not even Papyrus asks)

Part 1 → Part 2 → Part 3

Even if she believes a strict Good and Evil moral binary, why on earth would a honorable hero of her sort unnecessarily terrify enemies? ↩︎

Of “human mind-control”, she says: “She says “manipulating people to make them like you...what a Grade-A freak!’ Speaking of which, Alphys, who manipulated Frisk to make them like her, would not appreciate being called a “Grade-A FREAK!” ↩︎

See this post on Nochocolate for clarification. ↩︎

#Undertale #Undyne #Undertale Meta #Undertale Analysis #Undertale Character Analysis #Undyne's Prejudice

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ginnyzero · 5 years

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Trusting Yourself as a Writer

It's Writer Wednesday, let's talk about writerly things!

Back in 2013, thewritelife.com posted an article about "The Worst Ways to Begin Your Novel: Advice From Literary Agents." And excerpts of it have most likely been making the rounds on tumblr ever since. The post that crossed my dash had over 30,000 notes. I reblogged it with a few I felt were relevant to my own feelings. Before you read, remember, agents are human beings with tastes, preferences and biases like everyone else. They're expressing an opinion not a fact. The problem with an agent's opinion is that they hold a modest amount of power over writers who want to be traditionally published. (Problem 2, they often express their opinions as facts.)

One of the quotes is by Kristen Nelson of Nelson Literary about how the worst way fantasy novels is that they open up in the middle of action scenes (or people gathering herbs.) And her preference, directly contradicts the old adage advice of opening up in the middle of the story (and in science fiction and fantasy, that's usually some sort of action scene unless it's leaning towards the heavily political.) And Peter Miller of PMA Literary and Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary don't want you to open with lengthy exposition and description. These are contradictory pieces of advice in the same article. (Because what else is there?)

All writing advice from agents ends up being like this. Contradictory.

Changes quickly and mostly negative. Agents very rarely use the internet platform as a message board for what they really want in a story. (They are overloaded with queries already, why solicit more? I mean, if they posted their preferences more clearly and not "the next Tolkien or GRR Martin, they might actually get something suited to their taste.) It becomes easy to be blown about in every direction from every piece of advice you read and soon as a writer, you might have six drafts of your story and be so overwhelmed and befuddled not knowing which one is the best. Because you've lost your best temperature gauge when it comes to your writing, your own gut and instincts. The head becomes so filled with "professional" advice and self doubt about living up to that advice it drowns out your own voice!

(Really, read the bios of some of these agents. Most of them don't have English Degrees or come from any sort of storytelling background. Their advice is that, opinions and advice. They just happen to have industry contacts that an aspiring writer who wants to be published needs. There are no qualifications for writing a good novel and sometimes you have to wonder if there are any qualifications for being a good literary agent.)

So, when it comes to the best writing for your story, it all really comes down to how much do you trust yourself as a writer?

Your writing style and voice is unique. It's an expression of your inner self and it can't be forced and shouldn't be pushed to bend to fit some sort of "this is what is selling right this minute" box.

I'm not talking about bad writing such as purple prose, lack of any grammar skills, the inability to use spell check, lack of story structure and conflict and have flat characters. Because there are stories that are technically bad. There is no way around it. And it's sad. Not all of them can be edited to greatness either. Though enough of those still manage to get professional published through the big houses.

I'm talking about writing that is an expression of your creative process, thoughts and comes naturally to you without reaching for a dictionary or a thesaurus. Where the characters come to life on the page and the story has tension and questions to answer and is legible. (House of Leaves notwithstanding, legible is important.) The type of story that sucks you in and makes you want to curl up with it until it's done. And I don't really care about the genre, I've read just about everything at least once. A good mystery or romance novel can keep me just as enthralled as my favorite fantasy or science fiction novel.

I'm afraid that Kristen Nelson and I are never going to get along, because she doesn't post publicly on her website where it is easily found that she dislikes speculative fiction books that open with action scenes. Both of my books open with action scenes. Why? Because I'm an action adventure writer. Let's get this out of the way. You open my book, you read the first chapter, you know what you're getting into, fighting, explosions, people making hopefully funny quips.

I had to rely on my instincts when choosing the first paragraph for the Lone Prospect. Where was I going to begin this story? In the first draft of the Lone Prospect, chapter two was actually the first chapter, and chapter one was, oh, a third to halfway through the story? A third I think. I'd written the story chronologically. But was that really the best way to draw in the reader?

Here is the first paragraph of Chapter Two:

Brand leaned closer to the table. His nose almost hit the glowing green projection that rose from the table's surface. The motion made his black leather vest, covered in patches and a few studs and pins, gape open. His dark brown hair fell across his face and was slightly gray at the temples, feathered at the ends. His two-day growth of beard on his square jaw was going gray too.

Really, it's not very grabby. It didn't feel grabby to me as a writer or as a reader. It's mostly description, that tired old exposition and prose. Hey, we know Brand is older, he's wearing leather and has longer hair so he's probably some sort of rebel type. Oh, and there is some sort of green projection over a table. What's that about?

And here is the first paragraph of current Chapter One:

Pande-fucking-monium. Gideon jumped into the air over the chaos. Rockets built into his armor kept him above it all. Soldiers shouted and waved their arms. The back of Gideon’s head still echoed from explosions. Music, like a psychotic backdrop, blared out of the enemy camp’s speakers from Blake’s earlier hack. Conflicting smells of gunpowder, chemicals, animals, and the smell of humans living together in packed quarters overwhelmed his nose. And ahead of Gideon, an enemy soldier pulled a truck into the middle of his flight path.

Hey, not only do I drop you into the middle of a fight, there's more description. But in this paragraph, we've got some more questions, why is Gideon flying in the air with rockets in his armor? Who is Blake? Why is Gideon's nose so sensitive? It's more likely to grab the reader's attention for more than one reason.

The opening paragraph of The Lone Prospect is a deliberate homage to one of my favorite science fiction novels, Starship Troopers. By making this homage to Starship Troopers, the reader may or not pick up on it, but it will feel familiar to them if they like old school science fiction. It will feel familiar and they'll, hopefully, be more likely to pick up and read the book because of that familiarity. "Hey, maybe this is like Starship Troopers."

It's also a shout out the Expendables movie that also opens up in the middle of a mercenary job.

Maybe Kristen Nelson doesn't like Starship Troopers. (No idea.)

I can't afford fancy editors. I don't have a lot of friends who enjoy science fantasy or reading for that matter that I would entrust with a book to go "hey, this is good." I have myself, my decades of reading experience and another decade of writing experience writing character driven, action adventure, romantic comedies. That's it. I have no choice but to trust my gut and my instincts.

My guts and instincts are still my biases, opinions, preferences and likes. Just like an agent. Unlike an agent though, I have complete control over my work. I have complete control to say whether or not changing the opening scene is really the best way to go or not. I have complete control to reject or accept advice depending on how it fits the story, tone, mood and message of what I'm writing. It took a lot of time for me to build those skills and those instincts to find a story with a message that I truly wanted to tell. I abandon those instincts at my peril. Abandoning them can make me paralyzed with fear and when you are paralyzed with fear you don't write and nothing gets done.

All an agent can do is tell me, "No. I'm not going to represent this book to my publishing contacts." And I can then go, "Then you aren't the agent for me. Thank you for your time." If another person doesn't understand your writing, then they don't deserve you. It's time to move on, politely, especially if all they gave you was an "I'm not excited about this concept and I'm going to pass," as a response. (This is the standard agent rejection outside of silence.)

I don't appreciate it when agents put out blanket statements that tell me that they aren't willing to give an entire story a chance if the writing (such as the style, prose, grammar and concept) are good over something that's pretty standard in the genre. It's easy to tell someone "this is wrong, this is a problem" when it's something concrete, like bad grammar, purple prose, the story is too long to fit spec. But when it's an opinion like "I don't like stories that open with action sequences, thus, it's wrong and the worst way to open a story." They take an opinion and make it fact and then dismiss everything under that umbrella. It's much more difficult to give advice that is more along the lines of "in my opinion, I'd like to see more of..." or even making a positive comment about the concept or the writing or the voice of the story. It's easy to tear something down. It's hard to build something up.

There's a mode of thought that you have to tear something down in order to rebuild it. That's all well and good if you've joined the military. Here is my experience, that most of the time people go ahead and do the tearing down and completely forget about the building back up. That's what that article was about. It was all tearing down. It was about stating opinions as facts. There wasn't any building up. It would have been a better, more balanced, article that would have made me rant a little less if it was the "worst and best" ways to open your story. That way, a writer can compare the opinions about best and worst and test their own instincts and opinions. (Or at least find an agent that their writing might actually appeal to.)

Look, I have been on the end of the constant tearing down. I've been to art school. I've sat through the critiques. I've bit my tongue and swallowed the misery of being torn apart on something that the school never taught me. A five minute demo about markers doesn't really count as teaching. (And there wasn't anything available in the major specifically for what we were doing at that time. These were supposed to be FAST illustrations. They instituted a class later, I took it and felt like I got worse.) As a result, I know I'm a decent designer. I'm not expressly innovative, but I design clothes that people would most likely wear. I can do a line drawing. I can do technical flats. My coloring skills to me, look and feel like shit. I don't bother coloring my fashion design drawings anymore because I can't get them to look the way I want them to look. I'm doing it for fun. Fun shouldn't be frustrating.

Maybe if someone had said to me, "Hey, Ginny, it's okay to have flat color. Maybe that's your style." Or. "It's okay to have thick colored pencil outlines. Those are strong enough on their own." Then, maybe, maybe, I'd trust myself on my drawings. My instincts wouldn't be so messed up on my coloring skills. Because I can do simple shading. Not always good on light source, but I can do shading. Rendering patterns and different fabrics, not really, but I can SHADE. I don't trust myself to do so anymore.

And that's what happens when you constantly tear someone down without supporting them in other ways and building them back up.

Your instincts and gut as a writer are there for a reason. Listen to them. The more experience you have in reading and writing and your own preferences when it comes to writing and knowledge of your writing style, the stronger and better your gut and instincts will be to push back against "this is a horrible way to write" that is stated like fact instead of opinion.

Of course, this is coming from someone with about 55 dollars worth of sales. Take from it what you will.

#writblr #wrtblr #writing advice #writing tips #opening paragraphs #writing instinct

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notlivingwithoutyou · 6 years

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Questionaire

It’s a long’ne

Basic Character Questions

First name? - Rudiania

Surname? - Evermore

Middle names? - Lynn

Nicknames? - Rudi

Date of birth? - July 20, 1 L.C.

Age? - Died at age 25

Physical / Appearance

Height? - 5′5″

Weight? - 130lb

Build? - In life she had a LITTLE bulk. Functional core and arm muscles from work on the farm. She got a bit leaner, and more toned over her time in the military.

Hair colour? - Black

Hair style? - Variant of a pixie cut with long, side swept bangs.

Eye colour? - Black, including the sclera due to demon/fel taint at the site of her death. In life - brown.

Eye Shape? - ‘Upturned’ almond shape

Glasses or contact lenses? - None

Distinguishing facial features? - The skin upon her jaw is aftermarket so it doesn’t QUITE match up in tone. Her bottom lip is also slightly fuller than her original, top lip. This can sometimes make her look like she has an under-bite. She’s conscious of this and is usually positioning her jaw/mouth to try and hide it.

Which facial feature is most prominent? - Eyes

Which bodily feature is most prominent? - Nothing particularly extraordinary. She’s a bit pear shaped, her breasts being on the smaller side with wide hips.

Other distinguishing features? - Nah

Skin? - Very pale, ashen.

Hands? - Calloused from work. Has very short nails for the same reason.

Make up? - No, but she has new motivation to try it.

Scars? - Plenty of small nicks and scars both from her time on the farm and in the service. The largest is a crescent-like shape near her left hip. A kobold tried to take a piece out of her and her shield wasn’t in the best position…

Birthmarks? - None

Tattoos? - No

Physical handicaps? - Slightly near sighted - archery courses didn’t go well.

Type of clothes? - When she’s lounging around she’s content in breeches and a belted tunic.

How do they wear their clothes? - Comfortably? She has slightly over-sized tunics she enjoys relaxing in if she’s not donning armor that day.

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) - She likes to wear large boots, they usually include an equally large sole to give her more height. They’re well worn from the soldiers life - probably due for a sole replacement soon. With all the walking she tends to “burn through” socks quickly too so she doesn’t always wear them. When she does, she likes to wear over-the-knee style as an additional set of padding between her skin and her boots/cuisses.

Race / Ethnicity? - Human Forsaken

Mannerisms? - She tends to carry herself with a rigid stillness when she is on the job/not among friends, pensive. All business. When around those she is familiar there is a visible shift in how she holds herself and she becomes much more animated and engaging.

Are they in good health? - …She’s dead? She’s in one piece.

Do they have any disabilities? - Some would consider undeath a disability. Healing magic is painful. All of her senses are dulled compared to the living.

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? - “Absolutely” is her go-to affirmative.

Do they have a catchphrase? - Closest thing would be what she chants when she’s asked to drill a new recruit on shield use, “Location. Location. Location.”

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? - She’s pessimistic by nature with her thoughts leaping to the worst - but she’s working on it.

Are they introverted or extroverted? - She’s a bit of a switch. After a long assignment with her squad she really wants to shut herself alone in a room for a few days. However she’s also fond of big nights in the barracks while the living are still awake.

Do they ever put on airs? - Nah. She doesn’t care for those that do either. She transferred out of Silvermoon A.S.A.P.

What bad habits do they have? - She’s messy as far as her belongings/living space. In life she liked to drink but now it doesn’t taste right. She’s a fidgeter. Stubbornness. She will zone-out, deep in thought more often than she should. Even on duty.

What makes them laugh out loud? - Physical comedy. Puns.

How do they display affection? - Very physical. Hand holding, cuddling, small kisses. Gifts: practical things that are of use in the intended’s day to day.

Mental handicaps? - I think phobias is on this list too so I won’t list that um.. No I guess. She’s livin’ the dream as one of the able minded.

How do they want to be seen by others? - Respectable, tough (these are part of why she has a boyish appearance, to be taken seriously which is hard at 5′5″), dependable, sincere.

How do they see themselves? - Inadequate, unintelligent, uninteresting - but one hell of a scrapper.

How are they seen by others? - Her family viewed her as very willful and bright.

Strongest character trait? - Definitely her dependability. She’s a woman of her word.

Weakest character trait? - Boot Camp managed to iron some of the impatience out of her but as mentioned elsewhere she can be stubborn. Good luck changing her mind on an issue without a good argument.

How competitive are they? - Fairly. She’s always feeling like she has something to prove.

Do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? - She was really bad about jumping to conclusions in her youth. Now more often than not she manages to catch and talk herself back to not act on something but it will still be lurking there...

How do they react to praise? - She does the socially acceptable thing to smile and say thank you - but most of the time she’s dismissing it. Most of her life it’s been an unwanted type of praise or it’s sounded hollow.

How do they react to criticism? - If it’s something serious it hits pretty hard given her views of herself but she has to maintain that Front of strength. If it’s something silly like they want to say her chin looks funny she’ll tell them off - and then go stare in a mirror for a half hour.

What is their greatest fear? - ....You mean pick ONE?

What are their biggest secrets? - She’s lived a pretty open and simple life so she hasn’t had need for them. The one Big one that might one day mean her True Death is her personal Oath to protect her brothers - even if that means facing down Ertrig...

What is their philosophy of life? - Well this is connected to her attempts to deter her pessimism. She’s trying to remember there is always going to be bad times - she was 7 years dead and the war she was in never really ended. So you have to try and get happiness where you can, in the little things because that’s what’s worth being alive for. Time is wasted if you’re dwelling in darkness.

When was the last time they cried? - When she recently rushed to Ertrig, scared she had ruined everything.

What haunts them? - Oh boy. Alright so, why she goes stir crazy at night/off duty when others have the sanctuary of sleep. If she doesn’t have distraction she is trapped in her brain with what haunts her. All the little things she could have done differently in life. The people she’s left behind and can’t approach now because she’d probably be attacked on sight. She still really misses her parents. The fact she’ll never have a family of her own. The fact that no matter how hard she fights to stay alive she will one day turn into one of the things she regularly cuts down in The Scar. The day Ertrig does. The day the Alliance and the Horde quit dancing around each other and focus.

What are their political views? - In life she was very pro-Alliance - but she’s learned the mess that is the political climate is not that simple. So I guess Disillusioned. She’s not Ride-or-Die this go around.

What will they stand up for? - This is hard to put to words without sounding cliche but she stands for justice. That’s one reason she’s adjusted so well to fighting for the Forsaken. They deserve justice. But she also believes in fairness. Things must be tempered! Killing random humans is not justice. That’s why she saved the buried humans in Hillsbrad Foothills. The innocent don’t deserve to suffer in the crossfire.

Who do they quote? - She doesn’t. Her words are her own.

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? - Both! She has hobbies of both domains.

What is their sinful little habit? - Ah.... she... oogles the Captain... if she thinks no one is looking.

What sense do they most rely on? - Hearing.

How do they treat people better than them? - With much respect, a bit of awe depending on the individual.

How do they treat people worse than them? - Barest civility (she has SOME class).

What quality do they most value in a friend? - Genuineness.

What do they consider an overrated virtue? - Orderliness.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? - She wishes she had an exceptional talent to make her unique.

What is their obsession? - Right now she’s still trying to play catch up with the years she was dead. Books, music, the cataclysm, the new furry bear people, so much going on.

What are their pet peeves? - Spitters. People that cough without covering their mouth (ESPECIALLY fellow Forsaken. Keep your bits to yourself my friend). Being interrupted/talked over. Passive Aggressive Behavior, spit it out and confront her or fuck off.

What are their idiosyncrasies? - Mmm the definition of this seems to be a little vague so I will do my best. She’s obsessed with personal hygiene. She talks to herself fairly often, especially when she’s cooking or working with herbs. She also sings to herself, again when working or when traveling. When she comes across a flyer or poster she gives it a dramatic reading - though it might not be very loud (Again, talking to herself. She’d probably have more than 4 friends if she was as talkative to strangers as she was with herself). Her spaces are cluttered but her armor/boots/daily gear all goes into the exact same place in the exact same positions every night. If she’s presented with something new she HAS to touch it, inspect it, maybe take it apart, WHAT ARE YOU HOW DO YOU THING.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? - It’s small now. She simply has two brothers left. Her parents might be scourge or forsaken living elsewhere or simply dead. Erttie.

What is their perception of family? - Trustworthy. People that you love and love you in turn. Would come to your aid and have your back. Shelter in the storm.

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? - Older, two. Her brothers James and Eric were born in 6 P.C. and 4 P.C. respectively.

Describe their best friend. - Right now her best friend is a young, shying violet of a blood elf of all things. Maybe it’s because her young age and sheltered past have prevented her from picking up Blood Elven....social habits....

Ideal best friend? - Genuine, dependable, adventurous, honorable, loyal, witty, supportive but willing to call her on her shit. You said IDEAL.

Describe their other friends. - Quiet, steady, reliable

Describe their acquaintances. - Outside of the company, the most common face she sees is when she wills herself onto the Orgrimmar Zeppelin. Deathguard Lawson held the ship for her once so she bares a few moments of pleasantries on deck before hiding inside. He is often curt but never sour.

Do they have any pets? - Ertrig noticed her affection for animals and gifted her a young firebat pup. She’s working with it regularly in hopes of it being a companion around and away from HQ.

Who are their natural allies? - There’s this instant camaraderie among the Forsaken that she’s noticed and kind of grateful for. It’s Us Against The World.

Who are their surprising allies? - Annie is her surprising ally! She never expected to meet an elf of her ilk.

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? - She was very rambunctious and once she could crawl she was exploring all over the place if she was put down for even a minute. This continued as a child, following her brothers wherever they went.

Did they grow up rich or poor? - It was neither extreme. It was Enough. The weather was usually well enough for decent crops each season - though one year an odd fungus wiped out a good portion of potatoes.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? - Rudi was The Baby. She was nurtured.

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? - She’s not very hateful by nature but she did her share of anti-Horde jesting with other soldiers over drinks while alive.

What is their greatest achievement? - Getting to leave home. Her parents were fine with her brothers enlisting but it took some convincing for them to be alright with her departure. She wanted to leave home on good terms. And it ended up saving her…

What was their first kiss like? - Awkward. Hiding from her brothers in some underbrush when she was 13 with a boy from Pyrewood.

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? - Chucked her brother Eric’s pocket knife into a knothole. Told him where he could find it. Didn’t tell him it was a home to a group of bees. Her mother gave her quite the tongue lashing while treating Eric’s sting covered hand.

What are their ambitions? - Low. She’ll be happy if she can survive the war and be able to retire to a quiet plot of land.

What advice would they give their younger self? - Think twice. Hug often. Don’t walk away mad. Yes it’s been long enough to send another letter.

What smells remind them of their childhood? - Pine! Damp earth. Burning sage. Musty books. Water.

What was their childhood ambition? - She actually wanted to be a great mage, burn away all her foes and have ALL the cookies to herself!

What is their best childhood memory? - She was eight. Her brothers were older, their interests were changing. They were getting different hobbies and didn’t play with her as much. James took her out, just the two of them and gave her her first riding lesson. No matter what she did wrong he was never condescending or mean about it. He was patient and treated her like an equal for the first time instead of the annoying tag-a-long little sister.

What is their worst childhood memory? - One morning she was the first to wake up and decided to start feeding the livestock. She walked out to a gory scene of blood, dismembered dairy cows and their maimed shepard dog, Tobias. Her father had to put him down.

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? - No

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? - Ah... when they were first resurrected.

What past act are they most ashamed of? - What she did to her brother Eric. Now that’s she’s older she knows he could have died either from the sheer amount of stings or falling from the tree.

What past act are they most proud of? - She entered an infamous Dark Portal. She stared down demons. She died honorably.

Has anyone ever saved their life? - Yes. To her embarrassment James fished her out of Lordaeron Lake.

Strongest childhood memory? - The previously mentioned horse-riding lesson. It was a turning point for the better for their relationship.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? - A bit

Are they in a relationship? - Yes!

How do they behave in a relationship? - She’s very affectionate and doting, faithful to whom she is with.

What sort of sex do they have? - Her dulled sense of touch is making her feel more adventurous since some extra intensity is required.

Has your character ever been in love? - In the past, she thought she was but it doesn’t compare to what she has right now.

Have they ever had their heart broken? - Yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? - While impulsive she’s learned that its best to gauge the severity of the threat, especially on duty when you represent Others. So she will Wait And See but she’s not above sending a gauntlet into someone’s face.

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? - She’s really not big on mind games. That’s more suited to elves. If you REALLY want to throw down she can meet you when her shift is over.

What is your character’s kryptonite? - Her loved ones. She really dreads the possible day she looks across a battlefield and sees her brothers.

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? - Most likely she’d be sharing a house with Erttie so…

How do they perceive strangers? - She does her best to treat everyone with the same level of civility regardless of race. Even Blood Elves. Which can be dangerous because by nature she’s more trusting than she should be.

What do they love to hate? - …..it’selvesokay…

What are their phobias? - Acrophobia. Grew up with her feet firmly planted on the ground and she prefers it that way thank you very much.

What is their choice of weapon? - Long sword and shield.

What living person do they most despise? - Right now she really doesn’t like what she’s heard about Stormwind’s new ruler… She feels like humans have become an absolute mess while she was ‘gone’. But who knows? Maybe she’s falling for biased propaganda again...

Have they ever been bullied or teased? - Of course, she had two older brothers. When she was 6 they thought it was hilarious to trap her in the outhouse. She was there for about 2 hours until her mum found her.

Where do they go when they’re angry? - She takes walks. She can’t stay still when she’s worked up/agitated.

Who are their enemies and why? - It sounds cliche but really her biggest enemy right now is herself. She’s living and helping people that she was fighting tooth and nail against. She’s trying to be better informed about events and not let former prejudices sway her. Quiet nights are an enemy because her brain runs away with thoughts of her fears. She fears True Death. She fears fighting her family. She fears becoming a mindless husk, of something happening to Ertrig, of the horde turning on The Forsaken - There’s a reason she has her fingers in so many pies hobby wise.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? - Deathguard in the Forsaken Military. She’s under the banner of a specific company: Tranquillien Expedition. It was set up as a line of defense against the remaining scourge in the Ghostlands and Eversong Woods.

What do they think about their current job? - She is content. She’s not on any major Front as of now but she is still sent out to do what she feels is good.

What are some of their past jobs? - Her adolescence was spent on the family farm. After that she joined the alliance military until her death.

What are their hobbies? - Reading, fishing, trying foods, experimenting with herbs and how they effect her new body, day dreaming.

Educational background? - She was homeschooled by her retired-schoolmarm mother.

Intelligence level? - She’s not mage level but she is smarter-than-the-average-bear. Her mum accredited this to the fact she was always an avid reader (being a former schoolmarm there were plenty of books at home).

Do they have any specialist training? - Martial training in sword play, use of a shield, riding, fully literate, able to complete minor armor repair.

Do they have a natural talent for something? - Not really. She wishes.

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? - If swordsmanship is a sport they are pretty okay. I mean she still has all the parts she was pulled out of the dirt with. Actually she has extra!

What is their socioeconomic status? - Soldier. I guess that rates to like a low middle class?

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? - Goats!

Which animal to they dislike the most? - Slimes…

What place would they most like to visit? - She’s crossed a lot of places off her list on assignment but recently she’s seen a race of…bear….? People? (Pandaren) She’s curious where they come from.

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? - The ocean at sunset.

What is their favourite song? - As much as she dislikes elves, their choirs left her awestruck. (A group did a morale tour once. She couldn’t tell you the name of any song. She doesn’t know elvish!) Not a lot of canon in-world music to pick from so... This would be playing a lot lately. https://youtu.be/m3lF2qEA2cw

Music, art, reading preferred? - Since metal bands exist in Azeroth I am going to say Big Band/swing orchestras do too. Whatever equates to the romanticism period of art in Azeroth. And she loves to read action adventure. Some romance every now and then. Bonus if both!

What is their favourite colour? Dark green, purple a close 2nd

What is their password? - I guess in a modern AU her pass would be something like LordaeronRefuge26

Favourite food: In life it was cottage pie. Hasn’t had one since she was Raised and hasn’t made anything particularly amazing in her cooking experiments.

What is their favourite work of art? - She doesn’t get the opportunity to admire a lot of fine art but she’s reading an adventure series about a bounty hunter witch that comes up against extreme obstacles and is struggling with self acceptance and the ways of the world. She obviously identifies pretty strongly.

Who is their favourite artist? - Probably whatever the most popular orchestra group is.

What is their favourite day of the week? - She’s been ‘up’ about 5 months now so she’s still in the ‘happy to be living’ phase. Also given her occupation there’s no set work week?

Possessions

What is in their fridge: N/A! But she would probably stock one with random ingredients and soft drinks. She likes feeling the fizz.

What is on their bedside table? - Candle. Books. Maybe an empty bottle or two.

What is in their car? - In the saddle bags: Scroll case with lots of parchment/stationary. 2 stoppered Ink wells. 2 fountain pens. A few coal sticks (’pencils’). A bottle of patchouli oil. Flint and steel. 3 Candles. Soap. A torch. Coil of hempen rope. 2 changes of smalls bundled in a towel. A pair of socks. Whatever book she’s working through. Two wineskins of water.

What is in their bin? - Lots of aborted letters and would be recipes.

What is in their purse or wallet? - Her coin purse holds only coins. She would forget about anything else she stored there and if she was hit by a cut-purse she wouldn’t want to lose something else.

What is in their pockets? - We’re going to go with like, belt pockets instead of Bags. She’s got money, a handkerchief, a ring, a small, carved skull roughly the size of a ‘worry stone’, pocket knife, herbs if she’s spotted interesting ones. There’s an old worn invitation to a blood elf’s party she’s kept because it was the first friendly thing extended to her at Silvermoon (and helps her fight her prejudice).

What is their most treasured possession? - The first gift Ertrig ever gave her was a ring. She isn’t able to wear it often because of her occupation/armor. But sometimes at night/when off duty she’ll take it out and put it on. She’ll experiment with how Rudiania Lasthollow rolls off her tongue.

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? - He’s large, very quiet and wears captain’s bars.

Do they believe in the afterlife? - Ha…ha ha ha…HA HA HA HA.

What are their religious views? - She was never very devout about the light. She’s fairly practical in that most things happen because people made it so. That they can take steps to prevent the bad in their life/the world - she does!

What do they think heaven is? - In her opinion she has it. She’s gotten a second shot at living and someone special to spend the time with.

What do they think hell is? - Nothing. It’s nothingness. She was there.

Are they superstitious? - Yes. If she spills salt, she does the counter move. If she spots a stray black cat, she leaves it some food so it doesn’t will the bad energy onto her. For the best yield a crop should be sown north to south. Never number livestock with a 13. When she was a girl she broke her mothers hand mirror and you can bet her life was hell for a while. She believes in karma.

What would they like to be reincarnated as? - She’d be good with doing the human thing again.

How would they like to die? - She’s already had the honorable death in battle. She tries not to think of True Death.

What is your character’s spirit animal? - Probably the little farm animal she loves, the goat. They are energetic, playful and awkward at times. They can also be stubborn and make use of their horns when necessary.

What is their zodiac sign? - She’s a Leo!

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? - We’ll go with what would probably be the worse thing that could happen to her which would be to have all of her loved ones tortured and killed in front of her while she can do nothing.

What is their view of ‘freedom’? - Being able to shape your own future to what you desire.

When did they last lie? - She told the High Executor over her unit that she owed Ertrig a favor and requested his last reported position.

What’s their view of lying? - Mixed. She feels there’s no good reason to seriously lie to anyone you are close to. Most lies just end up hurting people in one way or another including oneself.

When did they last make a promise? - She too readily uses the phrase “I promise” when she’s asked to be careful. I imagine she’s had the exchange with Annie plenty.

Did they keep or break their last promise? - Broken. She’s a little reckless going into a fight because of her higher tolerance of pain in undeath.

Daily life

What are their eating habits? - Forsaken don’t need food or get hunger pangs. However she’s kept a habit of dining roughly once a day - especially if she’s keeping company with the living. And she drinks a lot of water. She’s noticed differences in her physical condition from hydrating.

Do they have any allergies? - The Light.

Describe their home. - She doesn’t really live outside of a barracks long enough to have a proper home. When she’s not in duty rotation at the Tranquillien HQ & they need bed space, she would most likely just set up a tent on the grounds.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? - Cllllllutteeerrrrrrrrr. Not trash just things she owns. She does her best to stow it away in a steam trunk when she’s away from barracks on assignment so her mess doesn’t get in others’ way.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? - She likes to go outside and watch the sky light up. She finds comfort in watching the world come back to life after a long night of trying to distract/occupy herself.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? - Could be curled up reading or out fishing - or maybe taking another turn at training her firebat pup. Keeping Ertrig company while he files reports. She has lots of options.

What do they do on a Friday night? - See previous. She doesn’t drink like she did in life. The Forsaken don’t seem to be very big on parties and the blood elves of silvermoon can be insufferable at times. If she’s in a new place on assignment she would spend time exploring until the locals made her uncomfortable.

What is the soft drink of choice? - Moonberry Fizz is her new addiction.

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? - It used to be dark rums.

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? - I feel the one she is closest to is The Innocent. The naming of it can be deceptive. But with all her struggles coping with her new state, she made the decision She Was Going To Be Happy. So many undead are understandably upset and depressed but she wasn’t going to waste her 2nd chance on being that way. She is definitely worried about making a miss-step as a Forsaken and she isn’t as suspicious of people as she probably should be - especially considering her job. She tries to see the good in others.

Who is their hero? - She’s rather idol-less at the moment. Coming to “the other side” has shown her uncomfortable truths about people and she’s in doubt about a number of things. Closest thing is probably Erttie? Before they were involved she respected him a great deal.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? - A skeleton. She couldn’t NOT.

Are they comfortable with technology? - She likes learning so she embraces new things.

If they could save one person, who would it be? - The lazy answer is Ertrig but there’s so many people important to her. If we’re counting her entire circle… Rudi would most likely go to Annie’s aid because all the others in her life have extensive training and experience she would be praying paid off.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? - Ertrig Lasthollow

What is their favourite proverb? - …Like from the bible? While superstitious she wasn’t particularly religious while alive, so no words from the light really speak to her. As forsaken she’s getting curious about The Shadow the more she hears about it around her.

What is their greatest extravagance? - Their fanciest, smanciest possessions are probably her 2 fountain pens. And she shells out for scented oil.

What is their greatest regret? - Her family was sizable so every once in a while it hits her kind of hard that she’s not going to have one of her own now that she’s dead. She also regrets not speaking with her brothers more the last couple of nights before the attack on the Dark Portal.

What is their perception of redemption? - Mmmm… Rudi’s personal quest of ‘redemption’? Now that she is a Forsaken, she is doing her best to serve, support, and protect them in this unlife. She’s ashamed that she was one of the many living that turned their backs on their own people and mistreated the Forsaken.

What would they do if they won the lottery? - Land. House. Goats. Seed. Book shelves. BOOKS. Cheese making press. Can you imagine how long an Undead could age a batch of cheese and live to enjoy it?

What is their favourite fairytale? - Hard to find Azeroth fairy tails so we’ll go with real world. Grim’s Fairy Tales! - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Story_of_the_Youth_Who_Went_Forth_to_Learn_What_Fear_Was Makes her laugh.

What fairytale do they hate? - She dislikes tales similar to Cinderella. The ‘princess’ does little to shape her own life. Others basically did everything for her and she get’s this supposed happy ending. You only get things when you work for them.

Do they believe in happy endings? - It’s kind of what’s kept her going.

What is their idea of perfect happiness? - Curled up with Erttie, reading a book in the ambiance of a roaring fire in the home on a little farm.

What would they ask a fortune teller? - A MILLION THINGS because she has faith in that kind of thing - especially now? Hello? Living the Unlife? How will the war go? Will her unit survive? Where are her brothers? What happened to her parents?

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? - If she had one shot - she would go home to not long after she left and convince her parents to take a trip.

What sport do they excel at? - Uhhhhhh in life she was REALLY good at drinking games. That takes Constitution. It counts right?

What sport do they suck at? - Jousting and it was a big disappointment for her in life. The gear was so cumbersome she was easily dismounted. The knights look so majestic when they do it!

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? - To Heal with a touch, without pain, to ALL people.

#Rudiania Evermore #Ertrig Lasthollow #World of Warcraft #Wyrmrest Accord #Forsaken #The Forsaken

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spvg · 6 years

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Dark Souls Isn’t Hard

Dark souls isn’t hard. This might seem like a statement trying to get to your nerves, or just dismissing the hardships you face while playing, but it isn’t, or at least I’m not trying to make it sound so. It IS Scary, Daunting, it makes you feel like you’re weak, like you don’t have a chance, but it is not hard per sei, And saying dark souls I could mean any of the games “from software” has made. Now if the game isn’t hard, why does it seem hard?

First The ambient, the way dark souls looks, sounds and feels is made to put you in a tense mood, from the majestic gothic buildings Anor Londo (from The first Game) to the broken down shacks of The undead settlement (in Dark Souls 3), the dark humid and slimy corners, the dimly lit cathedrals, the choirs of despair, they’re all built in a way to make you feel that sense of scale, loneliness, of being smaller and intrinsically less powerful than the world around you. Try playing dark souls with different background music, turn all the lights in the room on, or with the windows open on a summer day, with or without headphones. You’ll understand how setting the mood of the game is half of what makes it feel scary.

Then you have the precise combat See, for instance the diference between facing an enemy you’ve fought one hundred times, versus the first time you meet them. I played Dark souls II twice, the first time I had never played a dark souls game, I knew nothing except “it was hard” and not only I played 100hours and never finished it because I got stuck, I was super careful facing every enemy, everything was a threat, everyone was a force to be reckoned with, I was terrified, that’s how dark souls want’s you to feel.

The second time though? I was blasting through it, I knew the enemies, their patterns, I wasn’t feeling like a weak undead, but more like a capable knight instead, because I had all that previous experience, the game itself was a completely different experience. I knew what to expect and I had learned how to face it. Dark souls is a game about patience and learning (at least as far as mechanics go).

And it actually lends you a lot of help on the way, if you play online there are plenty helpful messages left by your fellow players, phantoms (either player or AI controlled) can be summoned to help, sure playing online can leave you open to invasions by other players, but that is all to maintain a big part of the game’s core fairness. Because it is a fair game, the carefully constructed combat is all about observation, enemy movement tells you all you need to know about how to win, every animation has a wind up, and release fail to see it, rush in, attack blindly and you’ll get punished, analyze, take your time, see the openings, and you’ll be rewarded.

Yes dark souls isn’t a walk in the park, it is challenging, but as something people seem to forget, it is also fair, even tipping the odds in your favor sometimes. (see the famous invincibility frames when rolling for instance).

The level layout can be confusing on purpose to make you feel lost at times, but it’s design is carefully constructed so as with combat, careful observation of your surroundings will more often than not give you an advantage in the fights ahead, areas are also built in such a way that you’ll find plenty of shortcuts that make it easier to transverse the world, and more often than not there are ways for you to ”cheese” hard enemies if you feel like you really want to hold on to those souls no matter what, specially if you have a primarily ranged class, although you’ll probably pick up plenty throwing items along the way, with witch to cheese, or lure opponents out one at a time if you don’t.

Dark souls isn’t hard, but it assumes that you’ll be mindful of the experience you’re having, and it will challenge you, make you work for the victory, unlike a lot of games out there that will hold your hand every step of the way. Now of course this will brush off players that just want a power trip, or are looking for a more relaxing time but it will and has held a fan base that doesn’t get that many challenging games.

The game will actively try it’s best to trick you, to stress you and yes kill you, but as any player who’s tried it more than once will know, it is not as hard as most sensationalist video/ review/ critics make it out to be,

The phrase dark souls of insert game genre here(which I think we really should stop using) if used, should be more about calculated combat, masterful ambience, and environmental storytelling, than blandly about “I had a hard time killing things” so it is hard.

It’s important to look critically at games beyond first impressions, I feel that with the current need of reviews out in the very day of release, and races to see who gives information first, it is important for us to take our time to experience a game, and give thoughtful opportunities to learning mechanics and themes beyond the appearance.

On a side note I also believe the marketing of the game, mainly in the 1st special edition, “Dark souls Prepare to die edition” does not make justice to the game and feels more like a shot at sales through some kind of gamer credit for beating a difficult game. (I mean yes you should be prepared to die but you should always be prepared for the awesome feeling of winning, and they didn’t call it “Dark souls it will feel great when you win edition”! although I must admit prepare to die fits more with the gloomy ambience of the game)

That said I’m not a great dark souls player, but I’ve had incredibly easy times with some bosses that felt unbelievably hard at first, it is all a question of careful approach, learning and timing, that combined, I guess, would be considered skill at the game.

If you’re doubtful just watch streamers or speed runners of the game, and you’ll see how they know the enemies, their move sets, their phases, (some even do runs with no armor or with bare fists) of course they are the epitome of skill at the game, but even without long extensive play time and attempts at defeating enemies you’ll understand pretty well how the enemies in combat work like the anticipation attacks have warning you when they’re coming, and the way you deal with them it’s just a matter of using your character’s moves to bypass their’s.

Now if you read this far first thank you for listening to me, and I’d like to add a little something that might not be directly connected to the game being hard or not, but I wanted to give a shout out to the way from software does story, and I’m not talking exclusively about the environmental story telling, (which IS a banner of these games) I’m talking about the purposeful hiding of the full story, or what I like to call “missing piece story telling”.

Not giving the players the full story right away, hiding information or just never even put it in the game in the first place creates this broken, missing, storyline that not only mimics the state of the in game world, (old, faded and forgotten) it also serves to incite players curiosity, to make dark souls a game you take beyond your play session, that keeps dedicated players thinking long after they’ve beaten a boss or they found gear from an NPC.

What the connection between those and the larger events in the world might have been, has led to countless theories and views of the Dark souls lore circling in the web. This is a gift for the very passionate and dedicated fan base they have, for the players who are invested and have spent their time with the game, as an experience and not something just to pass the time.

finally I’ll leave you with a quote from the writer at Ask a game dev that I think represents very well how dark souls fits in our gaming world

“Dark Souls is kind of like the dark chocolate of video games. It’s a little bitter and has a lot of flavor depth, but it isn’t as sweet or easy to eat as the stuff most people are used to. Not everybody likes it, but those who do like it a lot.”

I’d like to give a Special Thanks to my good friend Cornelious who is my go to Dark souls expert and to you for hearing me. Have different ideas, something that I clearly missed, suggestions, write them to me, and we’ll be Speaking of Video Games!

#dark souls #dark sousl 3 #dark souls 2 #video games #opinion #ps4 #spvg #writting #arcticle #digital games #game design

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gameridernews · 6 years

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Ex-Aid review: Choh Superhero Taisen

Ex-Aid's spring movie, from a distance, just looked like the familiar Rider/Sentai crossover format doing its usual thing. But recently, a producer at Toei has confirmed that they will no longer be doing crossover movies in the spring, meaning that Ex-Aid - turns out - has given us our final "so-called spring movie" experience.

In this world where weird and questionably written crossovers may cease to exist, let's see if it at least went out with something akin to a bang.

Choh Superhero Taisen is a bit of a silly name. I mean, it implies this is a SUPER version of the usual spring movie crossover, but to be a little more accurate, this movie is... kind of like a better version of the first couple swings they took at the Rider VS Sentai angle.

To recap, we got a Fourze-era crossover that did not really give a good first impression, then a Wizard-era crossover I can't remember a single thing about except Space Shocker. Gaim and Drive went the route of Rider VS Rider, both in kinda interesting but shaky executions, and Ghost had a focus on the original Kamen Rider making a modern day appearance.

Oh and just to quickly establish the timeline here, Maximum Gamer premiered in the show and Kuroto got what he deserved. Bit of a shame since I’m sure he’d have a lot to say about the kid in this movie. Anyway, let's begin!

The movies opens up in Korea being attacked by the game Xevious. The Kyurangers send all of their attack stock footage at the invaders, which you would think the Cyber Rescue Center would know about but they are instead dealing with a strange patient who apparently has a tail. Oh hey, Zyuoh Tiger!

The way the movie plays out beyond this point is really weird. It feels like when Inoue wrote the OOO portion of Movie Taisen Core - things are oddly slow and somber for a series known for being bright and peppy.

It’s uncanny. Hiro literally proclaims he will operate on Zyuoh Tiger even if she's an animal and no one bats an eye at that comment. That’s how weird it is. And when they see the Kyuranger mech land in the middle of the city, it’s treated as a quiet ominous moment like something bad is about to go down.

Okay, to be fair, that part is ominous because the Kyurangers are here for Poppy since they think this video game character is linked to other video games attacking reality - I guess since they have a lot of research at their disposal, because they know what Bugsters are!

But just as the Ex-Aid VS Kyuranger stuff begins, it quickly ends once Shishi Red... decides Kamen Riders are heroes because there's a game called Choh Superhero Taisen that Riders and Rangers are both part of. I mean, he's not wrong?

So yeah, that's a thing! Choh Superhero Taisen is a game that’s invaded this world and challenges Ex-Aid. Among its returning Riders/Rangers is an alternate version of Hiro, transforming into Kamen Rider True Brave.

I was VERY interested in learning the backstory of this character - is it an alternate universe thing, or what? Turns out, he's a video game character... and for story reasons, it’s a Hiro who took a different path in life.

It sorta makes sense, I promise.

Things get interesting once Ex-Aid and Poppy enter the world of Choh Superhero Taisen, which is more or less a bunch of Toei's usual filming locations but with returning actors accompanying them!

The first being Kyoryu Gold from Kyoryuger, Utsusemimaru - or Utchy for short. I watched at least half of Kyoryuger so I can appreciate his cameo. He does his Brave Daze thing and he gets some good action.

More importantly, you can't have a bunch of returning actors without Toei proving they can somehow keep getting all of the Imagin from Den-O. And I can understand someone being sick of them by now, even if you were a fan before, but the scene where Ex-Aid has to pick his team makes me smile. Although... considering ToQGer's premise, should Urataros really be flirting with one of the girls?

MOVING SWIFTLY ALONG, Emu chooses a "Gorider" team, with Momotaros being Pink - it's a pun. Ex-Aid uses Robot Action Gamer to cheat his way into the Red slot, which I kinda wish someone called him out on.

Ao Ninger makes an easy return as Blue, providing a nice callback to Ninninger as he basically takes charge and tell's Emu to pick his master, Magi Yellow, who taught him magic - but ends up calling Beet Buster from Go-Busters instead, because same actor. That was cute.

Lastly, filling out the team’s Green slot, the out-of-nowhere return of Zolda from Ryuki! I... y'know, it's best they didn't address his cancer since this is supposed to be the "game world" Zolda. Instead, they lean into his lawyer-ness - it felt very appropriate for him to dismiss the Gorider thing and only take part if they signed a contract. I also enjoy how he keeps referring to Momotaros as Goro-chan. It’s cute. I don’t have the heart to tell him Goro is in Zawame.

With a team decided upon, this starts to feel like an entirely different movie with Riders VS Rangers. My only gripe here was I could've used at least one more fight. You get a nice tournament chart that shows you all of the different fights happening offscreen, and to be quite honest I needed to see the Dandy team in action.

Right, so I should talk about the kid now. There's a patient Hiro was responsible for, who made the Choh Superhero Taisen game and disappeared afterwards. This is where things get interesting because Hiro has this logic of "I won't perform surgery on a patient unless they want it", which was used well in the show. Hiro presented the kid a chance to be cured, and he said no, so Hiro reluctantly accepted the kid’s choice.

Essentially, Alternate Hiro was made in this kid's game world as a personification of Hiro's guilt, and acts as his aide. It kind of works. But it kind of doesn't? Which is really a good way to describe spring movies as a whole.

However, I dig the alternate Hiro in concept. He isn't an evil version of the character like you'd expect - he has some sense of justice to him, he's protecting this kid after all, it's just that he's wrong in the eyes of the actual Hiro because it conflicts with his own ethics. This may be the best part of the movie, or at least the part with the most depth.

Oh right, so Ex-Aid and the others on his team become Kamen Sentai Gorider... which is a combination of the original Sentai and the original Kamen Rider... and it's about out of place as it sounds.

It feels right at home with all this chaos, I guess. But I don't have much to say about it beyond that. I still gotta watch the actual Gorider special.

Not a shocker for something to feel out of place in one of these movies. You know what’s also out of place? Shocker! Yes, the original villains are back again, and this time-- they don't have a different name, but I'd like to call them Game Shocker, because it implies they're living on in yet another form.

They also have a new young leader, Shocker Leader III to be exact, which I was admittedly interested in learning more about. The actor made a big deal about how he thinks of Shocker as a group that admires the Kamen Riders, quoted saying "I want you to understand Shocker's feelings".

In all honesty, though, the character doesn't stand out to me as being any different than a generic Rider movie villain, and would have probably been better off in a different movie. A shame too, because I love the idea it sounded like he was hinting at.

The movie is all over the place, and there's some things I wanna talk about but feel like I don't need to dedicate a whole screencap to. Let's go through these real quick...

Among the many cameos, we get the Kamen Rider Amazons crew, which includes Alpha, Omega and the then-new Neo! I haven't seen Amazons and this cameo taught me... they fight aggressively. I’ll be honest, I really felt nothing from this cameo. But I can appreciate how they added the dramatic lighting Amazons is known for. And Ex-Aid cleverly added some game logic to the fight by looking for a hidden power-up. He probably connects all of the pork chops in Castlevania.

The Zyuohgers make a cameo! That's pretty fun considering this is one show later. Unfortunately this cameo also made me realize Amu really did not have much to do with the story. I legit forgot about her while writing all this.

Brave uses Galaxian Quest Gamer, which wins the award for most pointless and rushed movie form debut. Like, I think he put on the armor and fought some dudes real quick and you never see it again. Galaxian played some part in the game world destruction earlier, but now that I think about it, you could replace that with Shocker to make them fit in better...

To end on a positive note, Ex-Aid uses a special giant Energy Item with Maximum Gamer to grow to Sentai mech size and fight alongside the Kyurangers' mech, which was a very fun visual since it involved a unique transformation in which Ex-Aid grows in size as the armor builds around him. This felt like a "They knew this was cool and wanted to take it a step further" moment.

Since I sped through all of that, let's get to the ending.

There's a nice moment with the kid and Naga from the Kyurangers, as they both share the inability to properly express emotions, and I can appreciate how they made use of Naga even if I have little exposure to Kyuranger - that was nice and heartfelt.

Through a combination of Ex-Aid's previous efforts and Brave's current efforts (pretty cool having both of them involved there), the kid is saved, everyone who got sucked into the game world is back out, and the status quo returns to normal.

The credits roll with a nice collection of cards based on all the characters in the movie.

So how did this one turn out? Well, as a movie, pretty awful. As a toku movie, not great. As a Kamen Rider spring crossover movie, it's a'ight I guess? I feel like I'm a lot more forgiving of these than others - even though I'm not opposed to making fun of things like Tsukasa's bad hair day or Space Shocker, I do get something out of these, so that's why I watch them.

With the idea in mind that this is the final spring crossover movie we'll get out of Kamen Rider and Sentai - as the upcoming spring movie is gonna be about Amazons instead and the future beyond that is uncertain - I think they could have ended on a far more typical clusterfuck note. Arguably, they did? But I think among the far-too-many ideas this one had, some of the ideas were good. And for a movie trying to make heroes fight other heroes, it's doing so in a fun way by making use of Ex-Aid’s game motif.

I'm gonna miss these movies. They weren't great, but they were fun eye candy. I'm gonna be interested in seeing what they do with that spring movie slot - will Amazons be the last spring movie entirely, or will it be Toei's go-to for "We just wanna make some kind of thing" movie projects? Only time will tell!

I think you know what comes next, right? I’ve got the first winter movie reviewed, now the spring movie - so obviously spinoff material next. Or the summer movie! Whichever happens first.

#kamen rider exaid #reviews #feed

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fire-emblem-heroes-supports · 7 years

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Berkut/Donnel C-S Support

Written by 2-dreemurrs-mod

C SUPPORT

Berkut: Donnel, I wish to speak with you.

Donnel: Aw hell, what’Donnel I do this time?

Berkut: Well, as long as your ears are ready, your technique was sloppy, your stance was wretched, and your reposte is horrid. It’s a wonder you’ve survived this long.

Donnel: If you’re so keen on mocking me, I’d rather spend my time in the fields doing work to keep this order of heroes fed, now if you’ll excuse me…

Berkut: It is rude to walk away from royalty without being dismissed.

Donnel: Good thing ya ain’t my king then.

Berkut: I’d have half the mind to smack you right now, but that’d be fruitless. No, rather I am giving you these.

Donnel: Oof! Wha- there’s at least a dozen books here! Half of them look like if I dropped them on a person, it’d kill them!

Berkut: (Surprising that he hasn’t collapsed under their weight, my horse even had a tough time carrying that package…)

Donnel: Did you say something?

Berkut: No, complete the books and tomorrow we shall spar.

Donnel: Alright… Wait, you want this read by tomorrow?! Wait! Darn, aw well, I guess I gotta grab dinner to go tonight.

[Berkut and Donnel have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

Donnel: Hya!

*The sounds of spears can be heard clanging against each other*

Berkut: Ha! Ugh, well played, I’m surprised, your technique improved almost tenfold. If I didn’t know better your technique is almost reminiscent of the style my own soldiers used in Zophia.

Donnel: Well, after ya dumped that horse load of books on me, I decided to do a little extra research on yer homeland. I happened to find a book on Zophian Military training techniques, so I applied myself.

Berkut: (In a single night, he completed all those books and did extra research?!) Perhaps I’ve underestimated you.

Donnel: Maybe so, but I still got a long way ‘till I can keep folks safe.

Berkut: Hmm, so that is your motive then, good, protect your people, make sure that they stay safe under your watch, do not let my spear down you in our skirmish!

*spears clash once more*

[Berkut and Donnel have reached support rank Berkut.]

A SUPPORT

Donnel: Whew, all set.

Berkut: I received your summons. What is the meaning of this decor?

Donnel: Well, I wanted to thank ya for all the help lately, I’ve been improving a lot! So, I decided, why not grab some of that Zophian cooking and get to making us a nice lunch?

Berkut: That would be fine if not for the fact that this is more than a lunch, it is a whole feast!

Donnel: Well, I uh, didn’t know what you liked, so I kinda just made it all. Shoot, we’re gonna have leftovers.

Berkut: Perhaps, but what is not eaten can be distributed among the others.

Donnel: Hey, since when were you so carin? Last time I checked, filthy peasants ain’t exactly welcome, and I quote, “to lick my boots, let alone eat mah scraps.”

Berkut: (Ugh, I did say that, didn’t I…) I well, realized perhaps… maybe… not everyone is, able to, eat such fine food, and since there is so much extra…

Donnel: Aw don’t say it, I get i. Deep down inside, behind all that rage at yer cousin, there’s a heart of gold!

Berkut: I will refute that claim anywhere, but, I will enjoy some of this meal before it goes cold. Care to join me?

Donnel: Don’t have to tell me twice!

[Berkut and Donnel have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT

Donnel: Now what can that nobleman have in store now… Maybe more training?

Berkut: Ah, you’ve arrived, good.

Donnel: Uh, where’s yer horse, and uh, your spear, and armor… why aren’t you prepped for combat?

Berkut: I have over the last months noticed how, erm, close you’ve grown to me. It’s rather strange, admittedly, but you’re not like most of the others around here.

Donnel: Uh, okay?

Berkut: While it pains me to state it plainly, you have opened my eyes, if only a shred, to the possibility of fighting alongside others of a lower stature.

Donnel: And that me-

Berkut: Let me finish, it is so rude to interrupt! Er, sorry, I should speak a little less harshly… Never mind that. I wish to simply say that you’re someone I’ve come accustom to having by my side in battle, and I’ve also grown to enjoy your company outside battle as well. If you don’t remember, this is the very hill where we first met.

Donnel: Yeah, I remember you nearly killed me.

Berkut: It was... Alright yes, I did try to kill you, but what I’m trying to say… Ugh, why is this so hard!

Donnel: Will you marry me!

Berkut: What?! I... yes, but why?!

Donnel: Wait, yes and why?

Berkut: Yes, of course! But you beat me! I had the ring ready and everything, you weren’t supposed to go first!

Donnel: Well, I guess you’ll have to spend more time trying to beat me in something else then!

Berkut: Yes! I shall! Forever and ever as long as this world will hold us together, I shall promise to fight alongside you, and crush you when you need o be crushed.

Donnel: That’s a weird way of saying I do…

[Berkut and Donnel have reached support rank S.]

#fire emblem shadows of valentia #fire emblem awakening #male heroes #berkut #donnel #berkut x donnel #donnel x berkut

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insolitus-academy · 4 years

Photo

♚ // Face Claim Full name Face Claim: Park Sooyoung ( Joy) Group/Band/Occupation: Red Velvet / Actress Nationality: South Korean Faceclaim age: Twenty-Four

♚ // Character ; Basic information

Quote: [Something they would say, something they live by or something that means a lot to them. One to two sentences. ]

Full name character: Enya Bizeril Nickname: None Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Assearhia, also known as the Twilight Nexus Age: 311 (physically 24) Date of Birth: October 25th Gender: Cisfemae Preferred Pronouns: She/Her Race: Nagini Sexual Orientation: Sapiosexual What languages does your character speak?: Assearhian, Korean, English What is the level of Korean and how did they learn to speak it (For non-Korean characters from other realms & other earth-countries): Her level of Korean is good enough to hold a conversation but there are times she cannot recall certain words / phrases.

♚ // Character ; Appearance

Skin Color: Lightly tanned Eye color: One Purple, one Pink when in a more human form to reflect her scale colors. Green and slitted in snake form Scars: Scar just below the sternum from an assassiantion attempt gone wrong. Piercings: Tongue, Bellybutton and ears Tattoos: The seal of the Assearhian royal family – a snake eating it’s own tail Hair color: Black Abnormalities: Slitted pupils in her human form, the presence of fangs that are typially hidden by her lips but become enlarged when angry or threatened Horns/ wings/ etc.: N/A SNAKE TW Transformed form: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/54/c4/43/54c443a9f719353f3aed59859cd65af2.jpg

♚ // Character ; Personality

Six personality traits: Adaptable, Narcisstic, Intuitive, Distrustful, Realistic, Secretive

Likes: the smell before it rains, summer days, partying, teasing others, exploring Dislikes: winter, crowded places, innocent minded people, inherent disrespect, people in her personal space Manias: Training, collecting things with the color red in them Phobias: Dying because she isn’t strong enough Animal: Snake, through and through Religion: No Favorite song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krIlTKVa7L4 + down with the fallen, starset Vice: Pride Virtue: Diligence

Personality description: There are two versions of Enya. The first is what most people see from her: the girl who seems to not care about anything. She is bratty and flirtacious, which can be off-putting to people who may not be used to such bold and upfront behavior. She speaks her mind without a care on how people may percieve the things that she says and is the first to say that if you don’t want the answer to the question then you are better off not asking her at all. She doesn’t seem to have a care if people hate or love her but she can adapt to the situation at hand with relative ease. If she doesn’t find a situation interesting or worth her time, she isn’t known to stick around and seems to thrives best when there is general chaos. Though it can be inferred a lot of her personality comes form being considered royalty, she never denies nor agrees with such assumptions. The less people know about her, the better of she believes that she is. The true Enya, is far from what she projects to other people. Underneath a sarcastic and amused persona is a woman who is more manipulative and calculative than anyone can truly know. She looks out for herself and her person first and foremost, everyone else is collateral damage to her. If she sees something or someone as a threat to her she drops her facade and instead becomes distant and cold, projecting a powerful and dismissive attitude instead.

♚ // Character ; Powers

Magical Powers: Shapeshifting – is able to shift into her original snake form, that of an African Bush Viper and hold it for a couple hours. Poison stimulation – can stimulate poison into her fangs that are hidden in order to attack someone even in her human form. Scale armor – able to summon her scales to cover her skin in small areas in dangerous situations. she can summon them to cover her full body but it does not last more than a couple of minutes at a time. Healing – sheds her ‘scales’ or her 'skin’ in order to help regenerate her wounds faster.

Non-magical Powers: Proficient in Hand to hand combat swordfighting – All people in her home relam are taught how to fight and defend, moreso because of her position of power in her realm she is more than profcient in fighting and protecting herself. Information Gathering – due to her abnormally quiet demeanor, she is able to sneak and hide and uses it to gather information that may be beneficial to her.

Weaknesses: Cold Weather – As a snake she is someone who needs constant warmth in order to stay alive, therefore the colder it is the weaker she is as a result. This makes her movements and her thinking considerably slower as well. Gold – This metal specifically is known to burn her skin and can severely weaknen her if it is worn for long periods of time. Ice Powers – because of her weakness to the cold, anyone who can manipulate ice / weather / snow or the like are people who can harm her with little resistence. She, as a result, typically avoids and dislikes these types of people.

♚ // Character ; The Student

Study Style: They are only dedicated to subjects that they think are beneficial to her in the long run. In those instances, she is severe and smart and known to work rather hard. The less she thinks the class is valuable, the less she does. Favorite class: General Battle Tactics II Least favorite class: Human and Earth History

classes (5-8) :

Intermediate Magic General Battle Tactics II Smiting and Armor Maintenance Korean II Manipulation Human and Earth History

♚ // Character ; The Past

Date of Birth: October 25th Date of Death: N/A Crime Record: None

Has your character attended Insolitus Academy in the past? No

Background: Assearhia is not a land for those who are weak, something her Father told her often when she was growing up. The only daughter of the royal family with older brothers who were incredibly gifted meant that she had to work that much harder in order to stand out among them. Truthfully, she knows, that she was lucky to have been born at all. With the birthrate at a standstill between the Assearhia’s and the royal family, it was a miracle to have one let alone 4 children. It was this fertility that cemented their rule and each child was expected to behave to a royal standard – weakness was not tolerated, only those who could stand their ground and protect themselves would be able to survive their harsh, war-torn land. Yet as the years passed on, more and more of her brothers died until only she was left as the heir apparent. Their constant battle with their rivals had left them all scarred and tired but there was no moment of weakness that could be shown to the people. They looked to them for guidance, for strength, but most of all they looked to them to keep Assearhia away from invaders and rivals who threatened to take them all down until there was not a single snake left on the continent. Though she tried her hardest to become a fearsome warrior, there was always something lacking from her training. This only became apparent when an assassination attack left her almost dead and bedridden. It was only when she was better that her Father decided that she should be sent elsewhere, not only for her safety but also to train her to become stronger than what it seemed they could teach her. Having graudated from Insolitus Academy himself, he arranged for his daughter to join the studeny body. She would only be allowed back once she had proven herself to them and to him – and it was with this warning in mind she was packed and sent away from her family and the only land she had ever known.

♚ // Roleplayer

Time zone: EST

OOC! Triggers: Just spiders

Themes/genres you like writing the most?: Action, Horror, just general dark things.

#Dark spawn #student #submission #iacharacter #nagini

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