#and he doesnt understand why she broke off the engagement

[storge]

I can't believe she let her guard down in this place.

The Deliberations of Love (2023)

#the deliberations of love #卿卿三思 #cdramaedit #userdramas #cdrama #asiandramanet #cdramasource #dailyasiandramas #asiancentral #li fei #zhao jia min #tuserjade #mymymy #ep 7 #i love that girlie cant keep her handsss off of him when she is sleeepy #she wanna snuggle and keep him close which you kno me too me tooo #the fact that in their previous life they were married she keeps reverting back to that behavior and hiiiilariousss #like girliee he not gonna let you go if you keep doing all thisssssssss #and the fact that he was staring at her before she did this was lolol cause he is so down bad for her #and he doesnt understand why she broke off the engagement

[whatthefishh]

Delta Squared Chapter 1

A/N: So, this story is somewhat based off of Think Like a Man, I thought our favourite boys would fit these tropes quite nicely and wanted to write something fun and kinda silly! I hope can enjoy, even if you have seen the movie because I did make changes :) This will have several chapters, but hoping to keep it easy to follow. This chapter focuses on the boys and Benny. No smut, no warnings really except a few swear words. 2.4k words

It all starts sometime in May, the boys’ weekly outing causing the fates to set you up in front of the TV at just the right time. Well, sort of started then. 

###

(01:23 am) Tom wtffff

(01:23 am) im hiding in the bathroom from that weird girl who smelled like burritos next to us

(01:24 am) can i come out yet

(01:26 am) dunno

(01:26 am) but brb

(01:26 am) santi’s helping me get this girl off my back

(01:26 am) so the one who was basically following me is gone?

(01:28 am) also what youre engaged

(01:28 am) just show her a pic of Mads

(01:30 am) true lol

(01:31 am) im just gonna come back

(01:31 am) if shes standing right outside the bathroom ill scream

(01:32 am) idk what ur talking about but will made a face so maybe he knows who you mean

(01:32 am) then again that might just be him pining

(01:32 am) for that girl

(01:32 am) who broke up with him bc he quit his job

(01:32 am) the one hes been "dating" for 2 weeks

(01:32 am) OH

(01:32 am) santi and fish are trying to tag team this girl

(01:32 am) tag team?

(01:32 am) santi and fish are drunk af

(01:32 am) doesnt mean theyre not gonna do it

(01:35 am) uh yeah it does but whatever im on my way

###

Benny emerges from the haven of the bathroom, immediately making a beeline for the boys’ table. Thankfully, the girl who seemed to be at his elbow at every turn was nowhere to be seen. Even halfway across the bar, Benny could see Santiago chatting up some poor unsuspecting woman and wonders to himself with amusement which line he went with this time, the player that he is. He’s ridiculously successful at this, always has been, even in their time in Delta Force, his ability to charm anybody and everybody driving the boys nuts. Frankie had apparently given up the tag team idea, and let him run his game, choosing to watch from the sidelines. 

Benny checks his phone to see if he got a text from you, sending one out asking how you’re feeling. He feels bad for leaving you at home, sick, but you had insisted he go out with the boys, claiming you’ll join them next time. You two had been dating for years now, bordering on 8, your relationship having been an undefined thing at first due to his back and forth in the military. Once he had come back for good, it was almost too simple how you two had made things official, falling into a routine as easy as breathing. But still… he hadn’t proposed yet. 

You were a relatively successful hairstylist, owned your own salon, got along with the boys, matched his energy for all the dorky movies he was into, and incredibly chill with his energy it was almost too good to be true. You even dressed up with him in a couples costume of Han and Leia that one halloween, binging the movies with him throughout the month to prepare for the role. So, you could be forgiven for mistaking the little velvet box he got you last valentines day for a ring, screaming out “Yes!” until you opened it to see a simple but pretty pair of diamond studs. You didn’t understand why he was waiting, you two lived together, shared a car, planned for your future; the domesticity of your relationship was so deeply ingrained in your bones, everyone already assumed you were married until they noticed the empty space where your ring should be. You didn’t want to pressure him, though. He was your Benny, your best friend, and you loved him so much. Star Wars posters, figurines, and all. 

You flipped through the channels at home, eventually landing on Oprah, recognizing her guest as Steve Harvey, the host from Family Feud. 

“Welcome back, everybody. We are still here with best-selling author Steve Harvey. (Camera switch to Steve) - Well, what I try to get women to understand is that times have changed, but your playbook hasn't. I've gotten thousands of letters from all kinds of women who can't seem to find a man, keep a man or get what they want from their man. Until you understand how a man loves, how a man operates, how he thinks, until you get into the mindset of a man, you will never win with us in the game of love.”

Despite your better judgement, you stayed on the channel to see what new information he could possibly be adding to the world of love advice.

“We have a question in the audience. (camera turns to woman in the audience)- Hi, Steve. I've been living with my boyfriend for five years and he says that he loves me and he's fully committed. I guess what I want to know is, how come he hasn't popped the question?- (camera turns to Steve) He hasn't popped the question because you haven't required him to.” 

You roll your eyes at the pedantic answer, but stay listening to see if you could get anything useful out of this.

###

Benny catches part of Santi’s words to the girl on his way to the table, and the tail end of it has him quickly covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

“I’m sorry, but Jesus has my heart.” The girl had said.

“Yeah, no, no, no, I get that. I love Jesus, too. They actually used to call me Pope back in the military,” Santiago countered, sure that he’d walk away with her number. 

“You boys won’t believe how Santi’s trynna pick up this girl,” Benny says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as he joins the others at the table. 

“Oh I can already imagine it’s weird, she gave me crazy vibes just by the way she was trying to touch Tom’s beard after 2 seconds,” Frankie laughed. 

Santi returns to the table sooner than any of them would have guessed, and they assume he got shot down - rare, but it does happen. 

“No luck?” Will asks, a little eager to share his misery with someone else at the table. Will’s most recent venture into finding love ended as pathetically as his last; he was too much of a dreamer to keep a steady job after returning home. Apparently, the women he was going on dates with didn’t appreciate his goal of finding something he was passionate about. He just wanted someone to support him, the same way he would give his full support for his partner. 

Santiago looked at each of his friends’ faces and then broke out into a smug smile, “No, I got it. Cmon, you guys really thought I couldn’t? Have some faith.” 

The last comment had Benny cracking up again, and he checked his phone again to see if you’d replied. 

“How’s Daph doin’?” Will asks his little brother, eyes catching him checking his phone periodically. 

“She’s alright, she-” He starts but gets cut off by Fish.

“She's phenomenal, pendejo, we don’t understand why she’s with you,” Frankie laughs, and Santi joins in. 

“Nobody does! How good is your credit score? Do you even know how to check your credit score?” 

They all laugh at that, Benny included. 

“Daphne is amazing, you guys are right. She even loves my nerdy shit. Will doesn’t even like my nerdy shit,” Benny elbows his older brother. 

“You sure about that? Maybe she just loves you. Deep down inside, she’s probably thinking ‘this is some silly ass shit’” Tom counters with his eyebrows raised, challenging him. 

Out of them all, Tom had the least complicated relationship. He just wanted to make Madison happy, simple as that, and Mads felt the same towards him. He was usually the one giving level headed advice around the table whenever the boys would bring up their lady problems, and as much as they wouldn’t want to hear it at first, they usually conceded, knowing he was being reasonable. 

“Nah, I know her, alright? She is just as into all of that as I am.” 

The night goes on in a similar fashion, catching up and teasing, until Tom stands up, stating that he needs to get back to his fiancé, making the others groan in displeasure. 

“When's the wedding again, Tom? You’ll have all the time in the world, laaaaaater,” Santi gripes. 

“You guys still have to take me out for my Bachelor party, how do you not know when the wedding is? It’s next- No, you know what? You can figure it out and plan it when you’re sober, I’m heading out!”

They all chimed in for their goodbyes, knowing they’d see each other in a few days. Benny started to rise from his seat as well, finishing off the last of his beer before announcing his departure. 

“Gotta get back to my girl, she’s not feelin’ too well.” 

“Yeah, I should go, too, gotta pick up my kid from my mom tomorrow.” Frankie adds, also getting up from his place. 

Santiago and Will share a look which doesn’t go unnoticed by Frankie, who immediately gets defensive, “What?”

“Don’t lie to us Fish, you’re gonna go there tonight and she’s gonna give you your onesie and tuck you in the same way she does for your kid!” 

Santiago’s never let go of an opportunity to rip on Frankie’s relationship with his mother. Everybody knew he was a momma’s boy, but now he uses his daughter as an excuse for why he’s over all the time. She cooks all his meals, she does his laundry for him, they even have matching pyjamas which they wear on their movie nights together. He stops by on his way home from work because she’s made his favourite dish, or picked up those socks he likes from Costco. Santiago is only teasing but it’s become glaringly obvious that for all that he complains about being a single dad, Fish doesn’t really make time for another woman in his life. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Pope. Don’t come asking for her pie next time you’re over.”

“Now hey-” Threats were getting serious, Santiago had to back up a bit. 

###

The first bomb had been dropped. 

The next day had you heading to your local bookstore, with your notebook in hand, filled with scribbles of tips from Steve. You had finished the episode of Oprah, surprised to have found some possibly useful ideas to push Benny to the next step in your relationship. Looking for his book, you tell yourself you’re not tricking him, you’re just trying to move forward in your life together. 

Settling in to read for a bit before Benny came home, you found the chapter that focuses on “The Non-committer”, aka your Golden Retriever boyfriend, which described how you need to require him to step up and propose. Your last birthday, the boys came over for dinner; they treated you like one of their own, which was wonderful! Except that it was your birthday, and you were dressed for a romantic dinner for two. You really were one of the boys. Speaking of which, you looked around, noticing how much your shared apartment looked like a college dorm room, one that housed several boys, not the sophisticated adult space you always envisioned. You develop an idea, one that might upset him but that will overall clean up the place and make it look like two working adults live there. There’s a used bong on his favoured side of the couch for fuck’s sake. 

Yeah, that’s it, the first move has already formed in your head, your calculating gaze sweeping across your living room making note of what you’re going to keep and what’s going in storage. The couch will have to wait for another day, you can’t lift it on your own.

Later that evening, Benny comes home while you’re making dinner, chicken wings and fries - not your guilty mind telling you to make his favourite, nope - and his joyful shout at the smell makes your stomach twirl happily. After all these years, his easy smile and comforting presence is still your favourite thing in the world and you want to never stop seeing it. On his way to kiss your cheek in greeting, he catches a glimpse of the drastically different living room space and stops mid-walk, body visibly frozen in shock. 

“Babe! Did we get robbed?! Where’s all of my posters, my figurines?! How did you not notice we got robbed?!!” He’s rushing to inspect the empty spaces.

“Relax, I just tidied up a bit,” you try to keep your voice even and light. “They’re safe, Vader’s safe. I just thought we could paint the living room.”

He exhales in relief, painting he could deal with, painting he could work with. 

“...and redecorate,” you say under your breath. 

“Redecorate?” Benny echoes, confusion taking up his pretty face. “I thought you liked that stuff, why would you wanna redecorate?”

Dropping the last of the wings into the deep fryer you turn to face him fully. “Because, Benny, it looks like we’re still in college. We’re adults, we make decent money, don’t you want this to look like a real home? One where all of our friends haven’t had sex on our couch?”

“What’s wrong with my couch?”

“Baby, it has duct tape holding the back together. We’ve literally had it for ages, and God knows how many times you’ve spilled your bong on it!”

“This couch has history!”

You just level him with a look, before showing him the couch catalogue you were browsing, pointing out the ones you thought he’d like. 

“I’d rather watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with you again than couch shop,” Benny grumbles.

“I know you would because I caught you watching it by yourself a week later. Cmonnnn Benny, it smells so bad.”

“Okay, fine but listen I’m really bad at this. Can you just do it without me? I trust you to pick one. Please?” He leans in to kiss your cheek and heads straight for the deep fryer, gathering the rest of the food to set out for the two of you. 

Surprise colours your face but you’ll take the win. New couch, slightly more adult space, this was shaping up to be a productive evening. The two of you ate dinner, Benny making loud noises of enjoyment from the guilt-wings you made, watching your post-work show together. These are the moments you loved, the simple comfort of each other’s presence, of having your best friend there at the end of every day. 

#triple frontier #triple frontier fic #benny miller #benny miller x female reader #will miller #santiago garcia #frankie morales #mona writes???

[randombubblegum]

just. okay. this whole parasocial twitter trashfire is so..... stupid. lol 😐 just the fact that it COULD have been a turning point for how awsten and the fandom interact but he just refuses to learn, refuses to change, and is in fact dedicated to ruining his own life? apparently???

like sure okay all the twitter parxies are going after this one suckup big parxie for being a shitty person, WHICH SHE OBVIOUSLY IS, but theyre completely letting EVERY OTHER PERSON who does the exact same shit as her off the hook?? and even like agreeing with and sucking up to them. these other “big parxies” do the SAMEEE SHIT and just bc theyve turned on their former friend (pretty indicative of what awful ppl they are to gang up on a friend to save their skins but i digress) doesnt mean they havent spent years doing the exact same stupid shit acting like awsten was their friend and overstepping parasocial boundaries and starting fights and drama in the fandom for clout????

and all this started bc awsten expressed negative fan interactions take a toll on him!!! and then what did awsten do immediately after chaos broke out in his little parasocial enclave? thats right, he pretended to give himself a matching tattoo w another “big parxie” who fights for his attention and thinks theyre friends 😐😐😐 like howww HOW do you not see you are causing your own problems!!!! how do you refuse to understand that you should not be close with specific fans and single them out for increased attention from you? do you actually not see that you are fueling these interactions by offering a reward for incessant attempts to get your attention? WHY do you refuse to understand that that is what fuels the toxic parasocial fandom that you claim to hate so much. are you genuinely that fucking brain dead? or are you just unwilling to examine and change your own behavior??????

so now what weve got is the dunces on parx twitter struggling (granted, closer than ive seen them come before) to reach the logical conclusion that everyone with a brain and basic understanding of parasocial relationships (or human interaction in general) has had for years: that awsten should not be singling out specific fans to make them feel like his personal friends because it gives them a god complex and allows them to run rampant in his already insane fandom. and people who see that and want the same attention will suck up to those fans and create this toxic hierarchy among chronically online individuals that then spirals out of control and the blowback then hurts awsten and parx.

and yknow what? it makes being a fan of parx unfun. it sucks!!! even here on tumblr where most of us (most. not all) are sane and understand fan boundaries and why unchecked parasociality is bad, im having a bad time!!! all i do is repeat the same logic, like a broken record in an echo chamber, and bc i refuse to engage w the weirdos causing shit on twitter it never reaches the ppl who need to understand it most. and it sours my view of awsten and quite frankly ruins the enjoyment of engaging w parx?!!??! like how am i supposed to keep writing my silly little fics we all have fun with when i KNOW hes out there on twitter as we speak digging himself a deeper hole. like bitch this is the grave YOU DUG and the fans youve enabled are just the ones to push you in

anyway i dunno its just really sapped my affection towards parx and i like cant enjoy anything they do lately lol :/ like ill see awsten get travis on stage and ill be like “ok cool......... anyway” and it sucks tbh. i want to like parx. i do like parx? but awsten genuinely makes it so hard to be a fan of him and his band lately it is insane -__-

#SORRY TO VENT ITS JUST BEEN RLY RUINING MY FUN THIS WEEK and thinking about parx has made me :/ #i dont feel its unreasonable to expect SOME maturity from these 30yos #like my bad maybe for thinkig parx fandom could stop being sooo awful for a sec but the members ARE OLD #older than me at least so why. mcyt ppl are way bigger AND more online and dont deal w this #neg

[naancypants]

Ok I’m confused and disappointed about the tarot reveals and want your advice. Ace’s is good especially since it’s literal and metaphorical.

But Nick forsakes what is dearest to him. It seemed like the implication was him selling the ring aka forsaking George? Am I wrong? Bc the next one of George seeing the ring and “one of you will betray your true love” confuses me since it seems he did the betrayal, by selling it. Did she betray him by breaking it off then?

I understand Bess’s but it is just so boring to me, kind of a letdown for one of the most interesting prophecies.

Nancy’s I don’t quite get either. It says she WILL be the other’s demise. Which I would guess implies Ace dying, but since she DOESNT take the route that kills him, it seems like this prophecy did not come true. Am I missing something?

Ryan’s I am assuming still hasn’t happened and is a teaser for s4? I can’t think of how he caused anyone’s demise but since he has the cliffhanger ending I’m fine if this is still unrevealed.

Overall I just feel like this was such an interesting premise that kind of fell flat! But I only watched the season through once so am I misunderstanding anything?

Okay hi anon!! I took a lil longer to answer this because I wanted to give you a proper response. Most of the things you mentioned confused me, too, but I think I've worked out what the intentions were.

You are correct that Nick's tarot is "forsake what is dearest to you", and it refers to him pawning off the engagement ring!

This is what took me the longest to figure out, but yes, George is the "betray your true love" card - and your guess is correct that it's simply referring to the fact that she's the one who broke off the relationship in the first place (someone else can correct me if I'm wrong). I think this could've been more clearly communicated if the uni man had asked what George was looking at, and she'd responded with a simple line like "Just... something I gave up on". That would've been a callback to her actual 'betrayal', so as to bring clarity to a scene that is otherwise framed to look like it's in relation to the ring.

Yeah the wreaking havoc only applied to that one bottle-esque episode, so it definitely could've had a more exciting and significant role imo.

The Nancy one is weird because it refers to her killing Temperance. Meaning Temperance was ?? including herself in the reading ?? and was casually like "oop nancy gon kill me, guess i'll die" ?? But that's the clip we're shown during Nancy's part of the montage, and technically Nancy does kill Temperance in the end, so it works on a practical level, too. Maybe that's why Tempy planted the curse on Ace, if she already knew that Nancy was (supposedly) going to kill her anyway... at least cause a little chaos and suffering. Tangential, but this could also be an interesting lead-in to the question of "changing your fate" in s4.

Yeah, the implication is that in getting involved with these artifact traders, Ryan is somehow "fulfilling his destiny" but it's going to "cause the others to fall". So, yes, I would say it's more of a teaser for s4 than anything else. Not sure why this is his "destiny", though, at least not yet.

For your last bit of commentary, I agree! The tarot concept was a BIG draw for me pre-season, and even as the episodes progressed I was SO excited to see how it all played out. But the finale reveal for them was so brief and compact, it felt almost miniscule in the big scope of things, and it was easy to misunderstand the already-vague implications.

#cw nancy drew #nancy drew #cwnd #cwnd spoilers #ask

[blxetsi]

modern eren jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!eren jaeger x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of p*rnhub

- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)

- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"

- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)

- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore

- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)

- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)

- and the rest is history 😌✨

- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together

- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"

- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"

- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends

- like,,, EVERYWHERE

- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️

- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool

- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons

- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.

- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️

- is very touchy. like very touchy.

- but also respects bounderies

- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together

- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again

- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that

- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that

- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.

- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.

- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩

- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason

- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger

- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨

- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind

- also his brother is weirdly cool ??

- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university

- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩

- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his

- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red

- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔

- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool

- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty

- will get you weird things because they remind him of you

- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐

- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"

- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,

- thats it 😐

- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact

- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book

- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."

- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍

- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"

- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩

- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends

- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him

- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool

- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise

- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone

- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class

- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄

- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"

- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this

- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚

- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.

NSFW ! -------

- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍

- his parents love you. Im Serious

- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it

- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman

- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film

- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍

- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it

GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩

#attack on titan #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #sasha braus #levi ackerman #eren yeager headcanons #eren jaeger headcanons

[lol-jackles]

im gonna ask you the same thing as after every thursday night, so i hope it doesnt bother you because i like your insight. If you watched the latest episode of Walker (1.11) what did you think of it ?

It was done very well because "Freedom" was about the heart but disguised as an action episode: a ranger with a conflicted heart, a misdemeanant with a foolish heart, an escaped felon with a misplaced paternal heart, and 3 generations of Walkers’ first loves that ended differently.  And then there is a police case as complicated as the relationships brought on by these various hearts.

The day Hoyt is released from prison is the same day Clint escaped from prison.  Cordell welcomes Hoyt home before leaving to track down Clint using the knowledge from his undercover days that put Clint away in the first place.  Cordell visits Twyla Jean in prison to gain further information on Clint's whereabouts.  Their reunion is awkward as one can expect.  She asked if they were real, Cordell said she was the right woman at the time.

Emily was Cordell’s first love and it was implied they met when they were barely adults.  Since Emily’s death, Cordell’s inexperience with the dating scene and women in general resulted in two inappropriate relationships, one with a bank robber while undercover and a kiss between him and Geri when she was still seeing Hoyt in prison.  

Hoyt and Trevor's hearts have foolish romantic expectations with their respective girlfriends, and even more unrealistic notions about making a living to support their girlfriends.  They act as if they're in Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" song where living in crippling poverty is okay as long as you have loooooove.  Every suburban mothers I know with teenage daughters loathes that song even though they loved it when they were teenagers themselves.

Trevor burning his father's cache of stolen money was peak romantic gesture to Stella and across the platforms you can hear wails from adult viewers as they went

Hoyt's dim employment prospects is maybe why Abilene wanted Geri to marry him.  Geri at least was a successful business owner and can provide for Hoyt.  Abilene gives Hoyt a diamond ring to give to Geri, the ring came from Abilene's presumingly first love until she met Bonham and immediately broke off her engagement.  Abilene's former fiance didn't care enough that she choose Bonham over him to ask for the ring back. Hoyt didn't care enough that Geri and Cordell kissed that he didn’t break off relationship with either of them.

"Freedom" wraps up with father and daughter trying to reconcile, again.  Like in the second episode when Cordell texted Stella in the same room, he talked to Stella on her level by knowing what first love is lke.  I thought Cordell was going to tell Stella that she's too young to know what love is and I'm glad he didn't even though it is true; it's just too cliche of a line used too many times to prolong unnecessary drama in most fictions.  In-verse Cordell probably couldn't use that line because he was not that much older than Stella when he met and then married his first love, Stella's mother.  Cordell tried to understand that Trevor could be to Stella as Emily was to him.  Most times first love does not last, it didn't for Abilene and it may not for Hoyt.  

Finally, I'm glad to see Liam get some undivided attention from Abilene and Bonham in the last two episodes.  He has put his family ahead of himself and his relationship for nearly two years and it’s about time he was acknowledged for it.  

#walker #jared padalecki #freedom #1x11

[specialagentlokitty]

Clara x reader - for love

If request is open, can u pls do some angst fic for clara oswald x reader? In which they have a fight because clara always choose the doctor over you. You feel like clara doesnt need you as much as you need her. So they broke up. Will they get back together? Will doctor intervene? Or this is the end of clara x reader? Pls do this if u want to.🙏🙇‍♀️ - Anon❤️

Sitting on the porch of building you lived in, you had your head propped up by you head as you stared out in the street. She was meant to meet you her, but you had a good idea you knew where she was, and what she was doing. After all, the doctor was pretty much the only thing Clara talked about day in day out. Part of you wondered if she even told the doctor half as much about you to him, like she did to you about him.

You sighed heavily and ran a hand down your face. Your thoughts were proven correct when Clara and the doctor came walking around the corner clearly engaged in conversation, both of them went to walk into the building but stopped in their tracks when they saw you sat there.

“(Y/N), what’re you doing out here?” Clara asked.

That stung, she didn’t even remember that she was meant to be meeting with you. You wanted to tell her, but at the same time you didn’t, so you stood up and offered a fake smile.

“Just going for a walk, sorry.”

With that, you pushed past the both of them and walked down the street, you weren’t going to tell her, if she didn’t remember then that’s on her, not you, it wasn’t your job to make sure she remembered everything she said she’d do with you.

Clara and the doctor watched you you storm past, both of them clearly confused as they turnt back to each other.

“She’s bad tempered today.” The doctor mused.

Clara rolled her eyes at the older man and shook her head.

“I’ll go speak with her, see you later!”

With that, Clara jogged after you, knowing full well where you were walking, she knew your favorite spot, so she headed ther, and sure enough that’s where she found you, sitting on a bench just staring upwards. Wordlessly Clara sat next to you, not saying anything for a few seconds, giving you a chance to say something before she did.

“What’s wrong love?” She asked softly.

“Nothing.”

Clara sighed, you never kept things from her, so she wasn’t going to give up just because you said nothing, she wanted to help you with whatever it was.

“There’s something wrong (Y/N), I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t talk to me.” She spoke gently.

You turnt to face her, and Clara shivered, never had she seen such a fury in your eyes, not even when the previous doctor crashed the tardis into your flat.

“The problem is you!” You snarled, “all you do is go off with the doctor!”

Clara felt angry now, she didn’t think she spent that much time with him.

“I’m having fun! I’m exploring new places, I thought you didn’t mind!”

“Of course I do Clara, I hardly see you now!”

“Will you stop being so childish about it!”

You stood up, and stared to pace, something you only did if you were trying to stop yourself from lashing out.

“I’m not! Clara my feelings are just as important you know! I’m allowed to have feelings about this!”

“You’re just being clingy! All because I’m spending time with the doctor!

You stopped, turning around to look at her and your face fell even more, you shook you hsoftly as a little bit and let out a small sigh. Clara could see all the fight just leave you in that one moment and it left her too, she just up and took a step closer only for you to take one away, so she sat back down.

“I didn’t mind it at first, but then you started going more and more and I hardly see you. I’m your girlfriend Clara, and you spend more time with the doctor than me now, I feel alone, forgotten, I don’t know if you’re dead or alive. I don’t want a relationship like this, I’m sorry. I won’t make you chose, I’m not like that, I know how much the doctor means to you, so go be with him and explore or whatever it is you do. We’re not going to work out.”

With that, you left, leaving Clara speechless on the bench with tears clouding her eyes. She didn’t think you’d leave her, she never imagine what would happen if you two broke up.

For weeks you avoided all of Clara’s texts and calls, you were thankful you lived on a different floor to her. You didn’t want to talk to her, you told her how you felt and that was it, you didn’t want to do that anymore.

Walking down the street, a familiar face came into view and he stopped you. He wasn’t happy or smiling, he just looked sad.

“We need to talk.” He said.

He gave you no choice as he took your arm and dragged you to the tardis, closing and locking the door behind you both, heading over to the control panel.

“You need to talk to Clara, she’s upset and won’t talk to me.”

You rose a brow, crossing your arms, so not only was he basically kidnapping your right now, he wanted you to talk to Clara.

“Why? I’m not with her anymore and I’m sure you know.”

The doctor nodded his head sadly and asked over, his eyes full of hurt as he stood in front of you.

“I know... and I’m sorry... it was my fault... I kept taking Clara places.... just don’t be mad with her...”

You couldn’t really be mad with him, he said he was sorry, and there was nothing more you could ask from him other than that. So, you nodded your head.

“Alright, take me to Clara then.”

The doctors face brightened as he skipped around the controls, doing somethings before the tardis set off.

“I’m really sorry for hurting you....” he sighed, “I didn’t mean to... I just enjoy going on adventures with Clara...”

“I know you do, but I like spending time with her too.”

The doctor nodded his head in understanding as he walked away from the controls, the tardis had stopped so he took you to the door, and slowly opened it. It was a beautiful planet, it was like earth, but the sky was a light shade of purple instead.

“I’ll wait in here....” he whispered.

You took a step out, it was easy to find Clara, she was sat on the grass staring at the mountains in the distance. Without a word, you walked over and sat next to her, making her jump slightly, her eyes were red and puffy, shed been crying here.

“It’s a nice place.” You mused.

Clara cleared her throat and rubbed her yes.

“Yeah.. it is...”

Turning to face Clara, ou couldn’t help the heartache in your chest, you reached out and placed a hand gently on her cheek, smiling to yourself as she leaned into your touch just like she always used to.

“I’ve missed you...” she whispered.

“I know.... ive missed you too, it’s been different. It’s been qiet and lonely.”

Clara placed her hand over yours to hold it in place, and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for what I did... for how I mad you feel.... I really am... and i know it’ll take a lot to make it up to you... but I want to try... please...?”

You thought for a moment, before you leant in, pressing your lips to her other cheek then pulled away, a soft smile on your face. You just couldn’t stay angry with her, you loved her, and if you loved someone you were meant to try work out your problems before you just up and left them, right?

“Of course sweetheart.”

Clara lunged, wrapping her arms around you, burying her head into your shoulder as she cried, whispering “thank you” and “I love you” over and over again

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you #doctor who imagine #clara oswin #clara oswald #clara oswald x reader #clara oswald x you #clara oswald imagnie

[mysticjagiya606]

I have always thought it was strange that V and Rika have known the Choi boys since their childhood…The boys being 21 in the game and V being 26. 

The only logical age difference would be that the boys were 12 when they were rescued and V would have been 17 years old. (That is being generous since they look about 6 in the photo, but you never know with anime styled artwork). 

Considering that Rika and V only broke up shortly before MC joined the RFA, you have to calculate how long the couple had to have been together…9 years. Rika and V have been together for nearly a decade. 

V bought Rikas apartment, which would be logically assumed to be directly after she moved out from her adoptive parent’s house.

As soon as V was starting to flourish with his photography and as Rika was just experiencing adolescence and looking for more than the misery she felt with her adoptive parents. Granted, V was the only form of love she knew. They were very young…it makes sense as to why they had an idealized idea of love. Rika wanted to be loved unconditionally…and V wanted to love unconditionally, like his mother described before she died.

Obviously, when they learned about the two abused children from church, they would step in to help. Rika was always wanting to help others and V had a good heart. 

Here is what we learned in the Secret Endings, as well as in Saeyoung’s flashbacks. 

Saeyoung was offered a job in the agency, by V. To be safe from their politician father, the two had to be split up. After Saeyoung was rescued, Saeran was still at the home. He was being tortured and questioned by his mother…truly believing that his brother abandoned him. 

V and Rika wanted to save Saeran too, but it went downhill. The mother refused to give him up and Rika (canon) ends up accidentally killing the twins’ mother in self defense. That is the kind of secret you take to your grave.

Here we are…the GAP.

  There is a Wikia saying that Rika kidnaps Saeran into Mint Eye….but Mint Eye doesn’t form until a couple of years before MC appears. This conclusion is drawn from Another Story…which isnt linked to the Canon route.

What really happens in between? When V and Rika are still together? 

Like I said, no one explains the gap and the journals in Another Story are not canon. The journals in Another Story only account for if Mint Eye were formed when Saeran was a very young child….which it wasn’t.

So there we have it. The only logical place Saeran could have been is with V and Rika, growing up. This is where the mistakes take root. 

Rika and V were kids raising kids…They grew up way too fast and never had the chance to discover themselves or learn to love properly.

To protect Saeran, he would need to be secluded from the outside world. If anyone found out about him, there would be a lot of questions rasied. 

V, still having contact with Saeyoung, could not allow the two to have contact with one another. V and Rika moved out into a secluded area by a cliff, which V said Rika suggested for his artistic flair, but honestly, its very convienient for raising a hidden child. 

In every route, Searan is extremely familiar with Rika’s apartment. Rika and V also lived together for an unspecified amount of time once the cliff house was purchased and the two were engaged. 

Years pass and the RFA is formed. The RFA includes Saeyoung…which is an excellent way to spend time with the boy and make sure he is okay. Again, he cannot contact Saeran, so Saeran would not be able to be invited. 

However, Saeran always knew about the activities of the RFA and that his brother was out in the world being “Cheerful” and “happy without him.”

He would have seen his makeshift mom and dad, Rika and V, having fun, chatting and holding parties with the brother he would never be able to speak to again. On top of feeling abandoned, this would create a lot of resentment…

When Rika finally decides to create Mint Eye, we all know that her and V break up. She thinks V abandoned her, even though she left him. She thinks he doesnt want to help save others. She thinks he is a hypocrite and a liar. 

Saeran would have seen all of this. He also would have seen V walk away from them and continue to spend time with/chat with the RFA members…including his brother. V didn’t even TRY to get Saeran from Rika. (Which I understand….how could he, without Saeyoung finding out? V isnt a bad person…he just didnt have any other choice.)

In Saerans eyes, it would be very easy to believe that V was a hypocrite who abandoned him…just like his brother did. Rika of course, has a hand in turning him against V, but a lot of it would have happened on it’s own. Rika was basically his MOM since his sorry excuse for a birth mom died…and Rika never left him like everyone else.

His seclusion explains why he is so socially OFF….(not including Ray, because he isnt canon). This explains why he is so utterly devoted to Rika, even without the presence of the elixer. (ignoring the childhood forced elixer because that isnt canon or possible in Seven’s route.) This explains why V couldn’t do anything to save Saeran before it was too late.

V also knew that Rika targeted the RFA members as her primary prey for the Mint Eye. V felt like he had to protect them, as they were never supposed to be dragged into this in the first place. He also felt the duty to preserve Rika’s honor…so the easiest way out was to claim that she died and cut her off entirely. Essentially…from Searans eyes…this would be abandonment. V and Rika saved his life. V was his father figure.

What’s weird is that Cheritz doesn’t really incorporate exactly how long that relationship really had to be and that Rika and V were basically parents.

If V and Rika were together from the twins’ being saved up until Mint Eye was formed (shortly before MC appears), then the story of Rika kidnapping Searan as a child is impossible. That is another reason why Cheritz could not make it canon. It would never fit with the canon route of 707 and the secret endings. 

Now, if we want to go ahead and believe in this theory as a possibility…then it would explain other things as well. I am hoping that Rika’s route will come out and explain (canonly) some of the gap…even if it isnt released as canon, it could shed light on some possibilities. 

Understanding all of the above, it explains why Rika absolutely LOSES it when V claims their love wasn’t real. Imagine being told that your engagement and 10 year relationship was a lie…after finally leaving foster care and believing that someone finally loves you, unconditionally. After the trauma bonding they ALREADY went through in the past. 

It also explains why V has such an extremely hard time coming clean. With this timeline, V has been lying for YEARS. Nearly a decade. He even lied to his very best friend, Jumin. 

All of this is especially sad for Jumin, because V is his lifeline. He has no one else. Even as adult friends, they mainly live on memories to get by this phase of dishonesty and absense of V. 

Imagine how difficult it would be to admit you were lying and did all of those questionable things? 

He would have to admit the existance of Saeran…a child the couple kept secluded from the world. Saeyoung’s true identity…which would put everyone in danger… a child he shipped off to a deadly agency. The twins’ mom…which is a literal murder comitted by the Holy Rika. 

It is just too much. It’s too dangerous to come clean. It’s just too much to explain.

The RFA were a group of friends. There was no reason for them to get involved or be put at risk. V puts so much effort into protecting the RFA…On top of that, his personal life is entirely irrelevant to holding charity parties.

Here we can see why V blames himself. He is always saying he does it to protect everyone. He blames himself for everything. Even without Mint Eye, if Rika remained sane, these problems would still exist. This is why he views everything as his mess to clean…even without his idea that his ideal view of love ruined Rika. Now Rika wanted the RFA members to herself in her new cult. It was a mess. Because of this, he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means everything can be fixed. He doesnt care about himself, he cares about protecting everyone else from “his” mistakes. (as he sees it)

We see them repeatedly rejecting getting help from the cops. This may seem stupid, considering that we shouldn’t be encouraging our players to avoid the authorities. Yet, considering the situation, it makes sense. 

The murder…the agency…the hidden child…

Even without the cult, everyone would be in danger and in BIG trouble if this was taken to the police. If V were to use the police against Rika and her cult, not only would she not have a chance to be “saved”, but the past would be easily dug up as well. That would be one huge, reputation-ruining, legal fiasco. 

The drama would destroy the livelihoods of everyone he cared about. V, a famous photographer…Rika, a well-known coordinator…Jumin, heir to an extremely powerful and known company called C&R…Zen, a rising actor…Saeyoung would be killed by the agency…Only Jaehee and Yoosung would scrape by.

V and Rika made very sketchy and very bad decisions together…even if they had pure intentions at the time. Remember…they were just teenagers when this started.

The mistakes started WAY before Mint Eye was ever an idea. Way before Rika caved into her darkness.

Considering how many years go by….whether Cheritz intended this or not…it would explain SO MUCH. You could make a whole anime or drama out of the eyes of V alone. Perhaps, a lot of this will change once more routes come out.

All I know is that the Choi boys were screwed no matter what and took some serious trauma out of this. 

And this, my dudes, is why I REALLY want a Rika route to be released. I want the light shed on what could have happened between saving the boys and forming Mint Eye.

#mysme #mysme theory #mystic messenger #mysme v #jihyun kim #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #707 #mysme 707 #mysme rika #yoosung #zen hyun ryu #zenny #jaehee kang #cheritz

[11toe11-blog]

Time

I enter quietly for illumination and insight, on the trail of some thought to take me past it, to the realms of truth, pure are clear.

____

Time, so relative,

made absolute by the clock.

A veil over eternity,

made into a wall.

____

Who is this person talking about movie and wanting to watch something and keep occupied? Who is this person who cant do much? Who wants a moment to be over and done with as soon as possible so that the next moment can emerge which promises to be better that what is?

Who is this person thinking of excuses? Who is this person who rather talk than act?

Who is the person who thinks the phone to be evil, is blaming the phone and all that is in the phone?

Who is this person whose gaze is constantly shifting?

Who is this person who is slinking?

Who is this person, roaring one moment and the next moment shivering?

Who is this person who feels she is a fraud?

Who is this person who has nothing to share?

Who is this person trying to fill up silences with incessant words and questions “whatsup?”

Who is this person checking and rechecking for messages?

Who is this person comparing?

Who is this person who is thinking o fwhat is the best response to the moment?

Who is this person who knows fruits but orders pizza?

Who is this person who cant listen?

Who is this person who cant turn off her phone and wait for it to break?

Who is this person who needs the clock to know the time?

Who is this person who is checking if her sentences emit nothing but “pure intentions”?

Who is this person, the prisoner and the prison guard?

Who is this person who cant listen to her heart?

Who is this person who can understand her heart?

Who is this person who cant know from the heart?

Who ever she is. I look at her. I bless her. She will soon know.

__

Biological Speed

My dear westernized mind, this interview comes to remind you…

¬Excerpts from the second of the Six Interviews of Itsuo Tsuda « Breathing living philosophy » by André Libioulle broadcast published on France Culture in the 1980s.¬

“Q: Europeans elsewhere, you write, need to understand before acting. They do not engage immediately in action.

I.t.: What I am doing here, it is not precisely the same as what we would do in Japan. Often in Japan we do not explain, we found ourselves immediately into the experience path, it’s up to everyone to learn the lesson, isn’t it. Well, in the West this does not work. We need to understand first. But understanding is not enough. I have explained those people who were listening the explanation about swimming, but this does not allow people to be able to dive into the water. If we have not felt the first touch of the water, one can fill his head with all sorts of explanations, but it is useless.”

Q: But people will perhaps argue about this, « but why do I need to be able to feel? Why is that so important for me? «

I.t.: Well, this is the concept of « Seitai » precisely that one that Noguchi created after the war. At the moment people think in a dualistic way: « here – that is good, that is bad. We must fight the evil. When we have fought the evil, we will have the good.  » But in fact, we do not search this: we nomalize the terrain. That’s what he called « Seitai »: a well harmonized body. In the West we keep on finding the cause, we try to exterminate the cause. But as soon as we finished with the cause, here there are other causes that arise. But that’s the method that complies with this mental structure. But Noguchi brought this view which is quite different, which transcends all. If your organism is normalized, the problem itself becomes less important. In the West we say: there is such a problem. That’s a way of defining it, it does not change volume, it’s still there. We must attack this way etc.

Q. So there is in fact for the West an anatomical way of understanding, discursive kind, in which we distinguish cause and effect and in order to be able to act on a particular item. The concept introduced by the Seitai is a different concept. It is the notion of sensation. But this is the notion, if I understand, in which knowledge is not excluded. But it is another type of knowledge, intuitive knowledge, qualitative I would say, in relation to the Western notion of measure or quantification.

I.t.: The same problem increases or decreases importance depending on sensation. A bottle is half empty or half full. But the quantity is exactly the same. But the sensation is different in both cases. So just a little nothing can change human behavior. If one says, « that’s it, I’m done, » from that moment on one can no longer move forward. While if I say « I have already made three steps forward, » then Iam ready to make a fourth step, isn’t it.

Q. You talked about Master Noguchi repeatedly. Could we try to understand what the whole is, the unit in an individual through some examples of the practice of Master Noguchi, Noguchi was a therapist, wasn’t he. He is the creator of the Seitai method. So how is his job? What enabled him to understand those concrete things, spontaneously?

I.t.: For example, each one has its own biological speed, which determines the behavior, actions, movements etc. It is viewed in a quite detached way, objective, as per minute etc., etc., but for Noguchi, well that’s something concrete. Everything comes from that biological speed that is inherent in the individual. Without this notion of speed he can do nothing. But this…

Q: … as we know it, it’s something else …

I.t.: No. We need to create the contact with the biological speed of that particular person. No need to apply a general and objective speed. Well, for example, there is a kid who comes while crying, he is crying because he broke his arm. Parents say: « It is impossible to touch him, he keeps on crying and crying … ». But Noguchi has already touched him. « Ah, ah good then it is because he does not dare to cry in front of a master. » No it’s not that. He touched him at a , biological speed, the breathing speed of the child, which is peculiar to him. At that time, the kid does not feel the contact, it’s part of him, and that it’s so important.

http://www.ecole-itsuo-tsuda.org/en/2-la-respiration-philosophie-vivante/

(Noguchi was one of the teachers of Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen, withwhom i have no started learning, unlearning)

____

And Wikipedia also reminds youOf the process of spiritual knowledge[edit]

Yoga Vasistha teachings are divided into six parts: dispassion, qualifications of the seeker, creation, existence, dissolution and liberation. It sums up the spiritual process in the seven Bhoomikas:[citation needed]

Śubhecchā (longing for the Truth): The yogi (or sādhaka) rightly distinguishes between permanent and impermanent; cultivates dislike for worldly pleasures; acquires mastery over his physical and mental faculties; and feels a deep yearning to be free from Saṃsāra.

Vicāraṇa (right inquiry): The yogi has pondered over what he or she has read and heard, and has realized it in his or her life.

Tanumānasa (attenuation – or thinning out – of mental activities): The mind abandons the many, and remains fixed on the One.

Sattvāpatti (attainment of sattva, "reality"): The Yogi, at this stage, is called Brahmavid ("knower of Brahman"). In the previous four stages, the yogi is subject to sañcita, Prārabdha and Āgamī forms of karma. He or she has been practicing Samprajñāta Samādhi (contemplation), in which the consciousness of duality still exists.

Asaṃsakti (unaffected by anything): The yogi (now called Brahmavidvara) performs his or her necessary duties, without a sense of involvement.

Padārtha abhāvana (sees Brahman everywhere): External things do not appear to exist to the yogi (now called Brahmavidvarīyas); in essence there is a non-cognition of 'objects' as the separation between subject and a distinct object is dissolved; and tasks get performed without any sense of agency (doership). Sañcita and Āgamī karma are now destroyed; only a small amount of Prārabdha karma remains.

Turīya (perpetual samādhi): The yogi is known as Brahmavidvariṣṭha and does not perform activities, either by his will or the promptings of others.

In the spiral, I recognize, I am once again in Śubhecchā and starting on Vicharana.

Some voice tells me i have reentered as my father. It doesnt matter. The story doesnt matter. There are so many. Too confusing.

The sensation. I am learning to let the story be and look at movements and sensations.

#sensation #bonniebainbridgecohen #noguchi #movement #biologicalspeed kalari #silence #nonduality #breath #memory

[broken-heartedgirlff]

Chapter 33- Wasted

Slammin' 'em fast at the bar tops Drinkin' them straight with no regrets Obviously I've got a problem I like the tasteWanna get wasted with you Tell me what's good for me but I don't care Wanna get wasted off you Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah    I like the taste 

Chapter 33 ~ Wasted

Avery

I put the cool glass against my forehead. I was extremely hungover, and being in this position isn’t good for me, but nor did I care. Did I have a problem? Yes, but when you’re feeling the pain that I am feeling, you just need to numb it.

I stared at the newest form of papers that basically called me an unfit mother, and that Olivia wanted to terminate my rights to my son and take him away from me. We’ve been going for months back in forth, and I guess now we actually have court because the papers are here.  

I honestly cant believe this bitch. She took Jeremiah, but I refuse for her to take away Aiden. He was the only reason why I got up in the morning. 

Okay, did I leave him with Jeremiah once I knew his marriage with Olivia was finished. Yes, because I knew that I had one upped her, once and for all. I broke up her marriage, had his baby but I couldn’t take the pressure of him always choosing them so I left. I swear I was gonna come back. But I guess I didn’t come back fast enough

I sniffled, did I truly want Aiden? I want him, as long as Jeremiah came with him. I didn’t care about his other children, in fact, I hated them. But I wanted Jeremiah. I wanted him to love and hold me again like we used to.

“What are you looking at?” I looked up to see my boyfriend King, naked, standing in the doorway to our kitchen.

I shrugged, “Papers from my ex, claiming I’m unfit and terminating my rights to my son.”

His dick swung between his legs as we walked closer to the counter where I was. I had every intention of getting on my knees and putting it in my mouth but I needed to focus on the issue at hand. No matter how horny I was.

“Well, it’s our way out of taking care of the little bastard. Sign the papers and give him what he wants, I’m sick of this legal shit.”

He made it clear from day 1 that he didn’t want children. I knew that, and I still stayed with him. Which is why I left Aiden with Jeremiah in the first place. Did I love this man? Absolutely not, he wasn’t Jeremiah. But he gave me everything I wanted. Money, Status, Alcohol, Drugs and attention. Things that J could never.

No my boyfriend doesn’t know about the times I went to their house, trying to fuck Jeremiah, and he will never know, because if he did, he’d probably kill me.

“I want to fight it.” I spoke loudly  

He looked at me like I was crazy. Hell I was.

“Why in the hell would you do that? You know I would leave, and never look back. We agreed Ave. NO KIDS! I don’t want them bloodsuckers. I hate them.” He spoke in disgust and anger. He was gripping the counter, focusing on his breathing. I knew if I didn’t calm him down, I would end up in the hospital again.

“Big Daddy, If I fight it. Aiden will come here, for a few days and we’ll get them to sign over papers paying child support, and give him back to them. Plus no judge is going to allow Olivia to adopt him, they aren’t married.” I said

I knew my plan was bullet-proof. Fight long enough for them to pay child support for Aiden, take it and spend it on my man. Send Aiden back to them and collect on the payments.  

“Baby, they are married.” He spoke showing me the paperwork, and indeed they were.

“WHAT!” I screamed snatching the papers from him, but I took my voice down a few octaves, I didn’t want daddy to be mad at me, or see how upset I really was.

“What the fuck! We need to get Aiden back daddy.” I pleaded.  

He pushed my hair out of my face, and tucked it behind my ear, revealing a healing black eye. He rubbed his thumb over the bruise, which caused me to wince and travelled down to my lips, which he loves.

“If I help you, what are you going to do for daddy?” He said in a sexy ass way. It made my pussy wet immediately.

I smiled, and backed away from him, going to the drawer next to him. Pulling out a bag of our favorite white powder, cocaine.

I set up a line for him, which he sniffed up immediately. Ugh that shit was sexy as fuck.

I set up a line for myself and followed after him, while slowly playing with his dick. He moaned softly, but his dick was hard as a rock.

“You know what I want you to do,” He spoke.

“Yes daddy.”

I got on my knees in front of him, and watched him watch me. I carefully set a line of coke on his dick, immediately sniffed it up, and as soon as the high from the first line hit me I put his dick in my mouth.

“Uhh… fuck Ave.” I moaned while I looked him dead in the eyes.

Oh, we are about to get started. 

Rack

“Baby. Do you want anything from the store?” I called out to Rose

“No. I’m good,” She called back from the living room.

Leaving the apartment, it was a nice beautiful day. I was pretty excited, I was buying Rose the most beautiful house, her dream home. I couldn’t wait to show it to her.  

I know, that we’ve been through a lot and I love that girl. She pulled me out of the game and she set me straight. She was everything that someone could be for me and I for her. I love her with all of my heart.  

I also want to talk to her about extending our family. I know she can’t carry a baby full term. It’s bad for her health, and could kill her. But I had an idea, on how to get everything that we want. which is why I’m on my way to Liv’s house to talk to her.

~~~

“Nigga you always at my house, do you ever fuckin leave?” Jeremiah said with annoyance.

I rolled my eyes, no, I still don’t like this nigga. He broke our promise all those years ago, and I don’t care. He still a snake in my eyes.

“I’m here for my sister, and last I checked, this her house nigga.” I spat back as Liv entered the kitchen

“ANDRE! Stop fuckin with Jeremiah and J stop fucking with Rack! Please!” She yelled at the both of us.

“I’ll be in the den.” He said to her kissing her on the forehead, and flipping me off, walking out the room

“Fuck you too bitch.” I said

Liv just rolled her eyes, “What do you want little brother?” She said to me, while preparing dinner for her family

I needed her to understand where I was coming from, and I knew she was the person to help  

“I need help. I want kids. and I want kids with Rose.” sadness, was obvious within my own voice and apparent enough for Liv to catch on

“Rack-“  

I could tell she was worried about my mindset behind this conversation, but I needed to reassure her that everything was fine.

“I’m fine. I just want help looking for a surrogate, I want to be with Rose forever and I want our family to grow.”

She smiled at me, “Is this Rose’s idea?”

I shook my head, “No, she hasn’t brought up children since the hospital, and back then, you were in a coma, and everything was going wrong for our entire family. I just want this really bad and I want to give her options so that she knows I’m serious about it.”

“Are you gonna be okay if she told you no?” She quizzed

I hadn’t really thought about it, “She’s not gonna say no, she’s gonna be thrilled about it. I promise. We want this Liv.”

She smiled brightly, “Look at my little brother growing up!! Of course I’ll help you. I know some of the best adoption/ surrogacy agencies and lawyers out there. Now if only we can get Lei to think like this.” she said brushing her hair out of her face.

I started to laugh, but immediately stopped when I saw that big ass rock on her finger. She noticed where my attention had gone and she tried to hid it, but it was too late.

“Rack- Cmon dont over react.” She spoke calmly

“Yall engaged!!!” I raised my voice.

She mumbled.  

“Olivia, I cant hear you!”

She sighed, “No, we’re married. We got married in secret and last I checked, one of my daddies was dead and the other was in New York.”

“YALL MARRIED!!!!!”

Angel

“So how have you been since we last talked?” My therapist asked,

I shrugged, I don’t want to be here. Mommy and Daddy are just wasting their money if we want to be completely honest.  

They thought it would be a good idea, since, they are in therapy that Mason and I should go to it as well. I guess they’re afraid we’ll be messed up like them.

She sighed, “How’s Dominique.”

I rolled my eyes. “You mean Andrea?”

“Why do you insist on calling her Andrea, when your family calls her Dominique? She is your sister”

Kicking my legs, I felt the tears coming when talking bout this topic,

“My baby brother that died, his name was Dominique. I refuse to call her that. Her name is Andrea, and she isn’t my sister.”

I hate talking about my feelings. Like why cant I just not like that baby, and it be the end of it? Everyone wants to make a big deal out of me not liking it. It’s not like i set her on fire or anything, I thought about it though. But Daddy and Mommy would send me where Katie was and I refuse.

“Can we not talk about her. Can we talk about anything else.”

“Sure. How would you feel if your parents got back together?”  

I shrugged, “Doesnt matter to me if they do or don’t.”

“If Andrea wasn’t involved?”

“I would be excited. I could live with my parents and my brother. They could have other kids and I would be fine. Like how I was when I was a baby.”

“But Andrea is involved, so how would you feel.”

“I said, I wouldn’t care. Either way. Long as they keep Andrea away from me. I’m fine.”

“Why do you not like your sister?”

I looked out the window, it was raining and I like rain. Especially when it’s hot. It fit my mood. Angry, but sad.

“I dont care for the baby. Not everyone likes babies, so why is it a big deal?”

I wanted to go play in the rain, the pitter patter sound it makes on the window, typically gives me joy. I like how at the end of each rainstorm there’s a rainbow.  

Colorful and calm, beautiful and bright, joyous and jolly.

Everything I’m not.

“Maybe it’s-“

I cut off the doctor, noticing the time was almost over. But I still looked out the big glass windows

“I’m like the rain, sad, and gloomy but at the end of the storm, its peace and a rainbow right? At the end of each rainstorm, its a rainbow, saying God’s promise that he wouldn’t ever remake the world, by flooding it. Showing that it gets better. It gets better right?”

As soon as I asked that, the question left in the air, because thankfully, our session was completely over.

Lizzie

Having a baby is exhausting. I love Zoey, I do. but chile. She is a handful. I mean he father helps but its been little by little. Especially since he got married to Eva.  

I dont have a problem with his wife, but it seems that she may have a problem with me. At first, Zoey and I were invited to the wedding. Then my invite was rescinded and Zoey could go, but they knew she wasn’t going without me, so she didn’t get to be apart of her father’s wedding. I mean that weekend she ended up getting really sick and they couldn’t go on their honeymoon so maybe it serves her right.

I tried to have multiple talks with her but she ended up just telling me that everything was fine. I don’t know, and I don’t have the energy to care. Long as she treats my daughter with respect, I could care less if she treated me any kind of way.

Many people have asked me if I have feelings for Zoey’s father, and the answer is no. We had a one night stand that turned into our daughter. Not feelings. I don’t want to date, because I don’t want the horrible experience that I had with Vincent ever again.

Yes, I do know that no one will ever do what he did. But it was traumatizing. I’m happy with Zoey and with the life I’m trying to build for her.

“Can you get out of your thoughts please Liz?”  Kam called out to me

We were having our weekly family dinner. This time, it so happened to be at my townhouse. Everyones kids were playing in the backyard. Zoey and Dominique were playing together in the playpen right by the kitchen. Girls in the kitchen and boys outside on the grill. Our traditions.

“Sorry. Lot of thinking.” I spoke.

“How are you though Lizzie?” Lei’Lani spoke up

I cleared my throat, “I’m okay, the doctor says that I need to keep with my medicine and exercising. Thank you all for helping me out with Zo”

“No problem, That’s what family is for” Rosie smiled.

I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression after have Zoey. I would randomly cry, I wouldn’t eat for weeks, somedays I couldn’t even hold my own daughter. That’s when Giselle and Liv recognized the signs as they had been through it as well, and we went to the doctor.

“I just want to be the best mom that I can be for my daughter, and I honestly feel like I’m loosing it all.”  

Gi came up and hugged me. “Listen, you know I got you no matter what. You are that best mom that you can be for your daughter.”

I smiled at the encouraging words that my sister gave to me.

~~~~

After the cookout, everyone left except Olivia and Giselle. Their kids and Dom and J went home to settle them and put them to bed while Liv and Gi stayed to help put down Zo and clean up my house.

“So, does Jaxon and Eva help around with Zoey?” Liv asked

“Not really, it’s all me. Basically.” I sighed

“Do you have an agreement with a mediator about the living conditions of Zoey as she grows older? Liv asked again

I sighed, “No, do you think I need one?”

“We aren’t trying to pressure you into anything Liz, but its obvious that you need help and Jax is her father and Eva is her step mother, they need to help no matter what.” Gi spoke concerned

I mean she was right, we all did need to sit down and go over everything for Zoey’s life because I cant continue to ask and not get a response. I want to get back to normal, and they need to pitch in.

“How are y’all? We’ve all been really busy these last few months.”

They both ended up shrugging,

“It’s been a journey since I got shot by Katie, I still have migraines, but I love being with Jeremiah and the kids, the court case is coming up and i have no idea which way it’s going to go. I want it to go our way, but if it doesn’t, Aiden is still my son.” Liv smiled

“You know I’m praying for you, I hope it goes our way, and that bitch can get out of our life forever.” i spoke.

“Amen, but speaking of bitches, how’s Katie?” Liv snickered.

“Annoying as hell, everything Dom wants for Nique, Katie just declines, and wont allow but then as soon as we involve her mother, she acts like its the greatest idea ever. I wish this bitch would be out of our lives forever.” Gi spoke with disdain.

“Would you adopt Dominique, Gi?” Liv asked.

“I mean, technically, Katie has no rights being that she’s in jail. The papers for her adoption are already drawn up for me. I just have to sign them.”

“So what’s holding you up?” I asked

“I want to make sure Dominic and I are square and good. I don’t want to adopt her and then we end up getting divorced and now we have to split three kids. I just want to make sure our foundation is solid you know?”

“I think you’re pretty good on solid ground, you haven’t left since moving back in.” I said

“I know, but we aren’t perfect, and we have a lot to talk about. But-“

Liv cut her off, irritated,

“Youre wasting precious time and you are making excuses. Do you or do you not still love Dom.”

“I do.” She said confidently

“Are you falling back in love with him?” I asked

She blushed, “I am.”

“So what’s the hold up?” I asked with Liv agreeing

“I’m waiting for the ball to drop. I’m waiting for something bad to happen.” She spoke

Both Liv and I looked confused because they’re good, so whats the matter.

“Look, daddy kept us apart, then vincent, then katie. I just I don’t think I could take it if he was taken from me again. I just i’m taking it slow because I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I don’t want anything bad to happen.” She rambled on.

“You can’t wait anymore Gi, we all know life is too short, You have to go for your happiness, you aren’t the broken-hearted girl anymore. You’re a grown ass woman with 3 kids and a man who loves her unconditionally.” Liv encouraged her.

“I know. But-“

“But nothing. You love Dom and he loves you. Stop being a pussy.” I laughed.

“Fine I wont but I need you to also stop being a pussy and stand up to Jaxon. You didn’t create Zo-zo by yourself.Okay?” She reassured me.

I nodded, I love my cousin and my sister. Without them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, they’re literally my best friends and I know I’m the same for them. Listening to all that we’ve been through and how messed up we used to be, we’ve overcame so much. We’ve definitely grown into the women that my momma raised and she would be so proud of us.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Happier (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: This is one of the first requests in my inbox and im sorry it took this long to write this. I just got inspired last mightt. sorryy love youuu

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

Walking down 29th and Park I saw you in another’s arms You look happier

“Hey, woah slow down Tae. How many glass have you drank?” Jimin snatched his glass away and Taehyung smirked.

“Oh come on Chim. Its a party. A happy occassion! Shouldnt we be happy too? Let me drink!” He growls and tries to get his glass back but Jimin pull his hand away.

“How long are you going to be this way? Are you going to get drunk everytime you remember her? Everytime theres a couple? A wedding? An engagement? Anything thats reeks happiness or reminds you of love?!”

“Yeah. I am! So what?!” Taehyung growls and sneered at his friend, trying to find another glass.

“Get over her already Kim Taehyung!” Jimin yelled. “Get over Y/N!”

“I cant. Not when she looks so happy in another man’s arm. No one should be able to make her happy like that except for me Chim! No one!” Taehyung sighed and slumped down on the chair.

“But you are the one wbo blew it Tae. Its your own damn fault and you got no one to blame,” Jimim rubs his friend’s back. He knows how heart broken Taehyung is but theres realy no one else to blame but himself. “Now man up. Its a party and you wont ruined it just because you cant see anyone else happy and in love!” Jimin growls and shakes Taehyung’s shoulder. “Shes happier now and you should be happy for her, and thats that,”

Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah, you look happier, you do

Its only been a few months after their fateful breakup that Taehyung saw Y/N again. He saw her in her favorite scarf and beanie, fighting the cold weather, her nose and the tip of her ears slightly pink. Taehyung loves that look on her. He always teased her about it when they were together. Without realizing, his legs has taken him into her direction, wanting nothing more than to tap her shoulder and tell her how much he misses her, but Taehyung never get the opportunity when clumsy as she is, she bumped into someone the moment she walked into the bar, spilling the glasses of beer the man is holding. And before he knows it, the two of them are talking and laughing to the wee hours, the man’s friends forgotten and Taehyung sat alone by the corner, just staring at them.

His last memory of hers… her crying face, her eyes thats filled with pain.. now is replaced by the wide smile on her face, laughing at something the man said. If only Taehyund had walked faster. If only Taehyung grabbed her hand first before she enters the bar, if only she wasnt clumsy. So many ifs but everything is too late when all he can see now is Y/N’s big grin that matches the man as they exchanged phone numbers.

If only he could turn back time and treat her right.

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody love you like I do

Y/N and Taehyung has been together for almost 10 years. Well, they will be 10 in a few months and Y/N loves him like no other. Dating an idol was never easy. Especially if the said idol is extremely well known and good looking and she is just a normal girl. Its fate they met and fall in love. Y/N had refused his invitation for drinks multiple times when they first met, but Taehyung was relentless. He keeps showing up and asking her out, and who in the world could resist Kim Taehyung’s charms when he decides to put it to good use on someone. So, after months of persuading and convincing, Y/N finally said yes to a coffee date.

A simple coffee date turns to talking all day long. They laugh, they share their interests, they shared stories, and they even continued their coffee date to a night walk by the Han river which they ended up sitting and talking until the break of dawn. As Taehyung walks Y/N home, he finally finds the courage to ask for her phone number and one simple coffee date turns to lunches, movies, walk in the parks, dinners and on their 10th date, Taehyung finally asks her to officially become his, which Y/N said yes to without hesitation.

Taehyung and Y/N are madly in love, and eventhough they were not allowed to date in public, that didnt seem to stop them as their love for each other burns quite strongly. Y/N believes that no matter what happen, they can take it, just as long as Taehyung continues to love her.

Nine years they have been together. They are in love and happy and Taehyung couldnt have asked for more. Y/N is understanding, beautiful, smart, sweet and everything else he ever wanted in a girl, but Yerin came like a summer breeze in his comfortable winter with Y/N. Hr met when Yerin, a rookie idol, was casted as one of the model for their music video. She is fresh, young, charming and new and for some odd reason, out of the sevem boys, she seemed to be interested in him. Yerin didnt know at first, to the world Taehyung is a single man, and by the time she found out that Taehyung is in a long term serious relationship, she has already fallen too deep in love with him,amd a girlfriend wont stop her efforts in persuing Kim Taehyung.

Relentless and determined to make Taehyung hers, she become his dream girl, his one place to vent about work stress… or when he has fight with Y/N. Tiny unimportant arguments turns into bigger fights led Taehyung to not coming home for days. And Yerin swoop in to take the opportunity and on one drunken night at a bar listening to Taehyung vent about the fights led to sleepless night in her bed, doing things he shouldnt have. One night turns to many, once a week turns to almost everyday and soon enough Taehyung is convinced that he is in love with Yerin too.

So Y/N becomes a punch bag. A person to release his anger on when he got into a fight with Yerin. When he is jealous about Yerin’s intinate closeness with her co star. Smiles and sweet nothings are only whispered in Yerin’s ears and only harsh words of insults and yelling are left for Y/N.

Nine years theu have been together. Ten in a few months, and Y/N knkws something has changed in her relationship Taehyung. Is it her? Did she do something? Did she changed? Is that why Taehyung hates her so much?

Tears dripped down on the cold floor as she kneeled down to pick up the remains of the food that she worked so hard to cook as a surprise for him and scattered pieces of the broken plate that Taehyung threw on the floor earlier before storming out. Just because she asks him where he had been when she calls the dorm and the boys said he were not there. Just because of that one question, Taehyung pushed down everything on the table to the floor in rage before storming off, not coming home for the next three days. Dont even get her started on the harsh words Taehyung said to her every day, cancelling on date nights for no reason at all even when she is already fully dressed and pushing her away when she tries to kiss him. Y/N starts to keep to herself, crying herself to sleep whenever Taehyung stormed off or didnt make it home for the night, keeping quiet when he is around, afraid anything she said will set him off, all the while trying to think of the mistake she did that seems to make Taehyung to stop loving her.

But no matter how she tried, she doesnt know why. Y/N was almost convinced that maybe Taehyung’s love for her has expired. Maybe love does have an expired date after all. After all, they have been together for nearly 10 years, maybe he is bored of her already.

Then one fateful day, when she decides to come home early from work, she finally found out why.

The red stilletos placed neatly in front of the door is definitely not hers. But even with a panic rising in her chest, Y/N tries to reason with herself. Maybe one of the boys comes over to visit Taehyung and brought their girlfriend with them. Yes, that could be it. But the dim lighted house when she entered and the trail of clothes leading to their bedroom are making it hard to believe the reason she just came out with.

The noise she heard as she neared the room is making her thoughts came true and the sight she sees when she pushed open the door slightly confirmed everything.

Y/N covered her mouth with both of her hand as she stood there watching her boyfriend thrusting in and out of a woman she has never seen before. Their loud moans and being lost in pleasure distract them from seeing her there, and with tears running down her face, Y/N turned around and went out from the house, eliminating all traces that she has been there and witness the whole thing.

Maybe its a one time thing. She can forgive a one time thing right? Everyone make mistakes and Taehyung is only human. He loves her. Taehyung still loves her.

Atleast that is what she keeps tellimg herself as she comes home hours later, pretending like nothing happened.

Y/N’s hope and trust that its a one time thing broke into pieces when she starts to caught them multiple times, everywhere. Even worse when she caught Taehyung talking to the girl on the phone, and texting her. Her heart shattered into pieces when she finally heard it. Taehyung’s hush voice, under the blanket.

“I love you Yerin, goodnight angel,”

All this time Y/N pretended not to know that her boyfriend is sleeping with someone else, in her own house too. She pretended not to know, hoping its just a fling, something Taehyung needed to get out from his system. She knows she can forgive him, just as long as he tells her he still loves her.

But telling the other girl he loves her? Y/N knew then that their relationship is over. And she knows just the perfect gift she could give to the man she loves, one last time.

Sat on the corner of the room Everything’s reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier Aren’t you?

Why didnt he notice her smile that just didnt reached her eyes anymore? Or the way she goes to bed early? Or how she always refuses date night saying shes too exhausted? And her puffy and red eyes like she has been crying all night when she wakes him up for breakfast? Why didnt he see all that?

Taehyung took a swig from the already half empty bottle as he thinks about all the things he should have noticed. Things that showed Y/N already knows about his infidelity. Knows how he already broke her heart.Things he should have done. This is his usual routine whenever they dont have a schedule now, crawled into a corner at a nameless bar where no one would recognize him and drinks up one whole bottle or whatever bottle that he is sober enough to order next, thinking about his memories with Y/N. The good memories, the bad memories, and just memories of her. The way she walks, talks, laugh and smile. The way she always smell, of roses and vanilla, the way she needs to drink a cup of milk before she can fall asleep, the way she loves to dance in the rain. Every single thing reminds Taehyung of Y/N. So he drinks. He keeps on drinking until all theres left are hazy memories of her, and yet, when he wakes up after passing out at some alleyway the next morning, her face is always the first thing that appeared in his mind.

Taehyung shouldnt be this way. He shouldnt even feel this way. He shouldnt even be thinking about Y/N at all. Y/N has found someone new. Someone who can make her laugh better, smile wider, happier even, and she dont need him anymore. But why is it Taehyung needs her more than ever now?

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody need you like I do I know that there’s others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you

“T-Taehyung?” Y/N’s sleepy eyes popped wide open when she realized who is at her door at 4 am in the morning, looking drunk as hell and disheveled.

“Baybeeeee,” Taehyung slurred as he stumbled into the door, trying to kiss her but Y/N avoided him.

“Tae go home. Its 4 am and you are drunk,”

“I-Im not drunkkk. I want to see my babybeee,” he giggles and stumbled into the couch.

“Tae…” Y/N sighed. “Just stay there. Ill make some coffee to help you sober up and then maybe you can go home,” Y/N make sure he is safe and comfortable on the couch before heading to the kitchen to make him the coffee and some snacks. By the time she came back, Taehyung is already fast asleep, drooling on her couch. She stood there in front of him, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, looking at him sadly.

“I guess… we just have to talk tomorrow then. Sleep well Taehyung,”

/////

“Hey… how are you feeling?” Taehyung feels like he has woken up in heaven when the first thing he sees is Y/N’s face smiling in front of him if its not for the killer headache attacking his head right at that moment.

“Like dying,” he groans out. Y/N giggles at his answer and even then he feels his heart skipped a beat from the sound.

“I know. You are hangover. Drink this. It will help,” she pushes a glass of hot beverage in front of him and some pills. “And I made breakfast too. Eat up before you go okay,” the thought of Y/N making him breakfast sends his heart into a frenzy but then he remembers her next words, ‘before you go’ . Right. They are no longer together. He can no longer lounge and watch TV with her, legs tangling together after breakfast or his favorite, making sweet sweet love to her. Y/N belongs to someone else now. And he needs to go after he eats breakfast.

“Yeah.. thanks,” he takes a sip of the drink and swallow his pills. “I take it I was drunk and showed up at your house at late hours last night?”

“4 am to be exact,” she smiles.

“I’m really sorry Y/N,”

“Its okay Tae. It happens. I understand. Eat up and sober up okay? Your brothers must be worried about you,” she smiles again and start to get up but Taehyung stop her by pulling her hand.

“No. Theres no possible way that you can understand Y/N,” he looks at her straight in the eye. “You wont be able to understand how much I miss you, need you,”

“Taehyung, dont,” Y/N tries to shake her hand loose but to no avail.

“Please Y/N…”

“I-I dont know what you are asking from me. Taehyung we are over. I have met someone new now,” Y/N tries to shake her hand off again. “Tae… I’m happy with him,” Her words were like a blade to Taehyung’s heart. “You know I’m happy with him,”

“Y/N… I know you deserve to be happy. I know theres someone out there that deserves you more than me, that can treat you better, love you better…” he trailed off, hoping for a reaction.

Y/N just kept quiet, finally able to take her hand back after Taehyung let it go.

“But Y/N… give me a chance. You have loved me before. You can love me again. I will treat you the way you really deserve Y/N. Please…,” Taehyung begged, his eyes wide. “Y/N… I still love you. I am still so in love with you. I cant forget you. I cant move on from you,”

“Tae… please dont do this,” Y/N sniffles, tears threatening to fall down. “You know I love you before Tae. You are everything to me,” she cups his face. “But its over. You didnt choose me. So I chooses someone new Tae. And this breakup is the only gift I could give you,”

I could try to smile to hide the truth I know I was happier with you

“Happy anniversary Kim Taehyung. I cant believe its our 10th year together now,” Y/N smiles at him and Taehyung smiles back. God, he misses that smile. So beautiful. A smile that never fails to make all his bad days turns good again. That smile that never leave her face no matter how bad Taehyung treated her all this years. Abandoned her, keeping her a secret, yells at her, making her a punching bag, push her around, hurt her… everything bad he did, she only replied with that smile.

Why am I so stupid? Taehyung thought to himself. He already have the perfect angel bestowed upon him and all he do is take her for granted and hurt her. I’m never going to make her cry out of sadness ever again. Ever. I’m going to make it right this time. Who am I kidding? No one will ever be able to make as happy as she is. Y/N is the only one for me. Forever and always. I’m at my happiest only when I’m with her, and I’ll keep it that way.

Yerin was a mistake. He never loved her. He realized that now. Everything he did with her is out of lust, and blinded feelings. Y/N deserves better. Y/N is the only girl for him and he knows that now. Taehyung just hopes that he is not too late.

“Happy anniversary baby,” Taehyung closes the gap between them and hold her hand. He leans in to give her a kiss but Y/N titlted her head, avoiding it, making Taehyung confused. “Baby? Everything okay?”

“Everything is more than okay. Its great even,” Y/N smiles again, but her smile is sad this time. Taehyung furrowed her brows. Whats happening? He starts to panics when tears starts falling down her cheeks softly, but the smile still etched across her face.

“T-then why are you crying baby?”

“N-nothing. I’m just going to give you your present okay?”

“Okay. But wait!” Taehyung reached on the table and take the gift box that he had wrapped so carefully. “Open mine first. Its not much baby but I promise everything is changing starting now. That present is just the beginning,” he grins, knowing Y/N couldnt possibly understand what he is talking about.

“I…” Y/N looks down, not moving to take the box. “Just… I want to give you my present first okay Taehyung?”

“O-okay then baby. What is it?”

“I’m afraid its not something material,” she smiles. “But I know you will love it,”

“Really? What is it baby?” Taehyung smiles warmly at her. “Whatever it is you are giving me, I will like it anyway. Because it came from you,”

Y/N smiles and didnt say anything, moving closer to him and take his hand, her thumb carresing the back of his hand before the other carressed his cheeks. Her eyes look into his deeply, as if trying to remember his face one last time. Taehyung feels panic rising in his chest but keeps on smiling.

“My gift for you Taehyung, is a bit special. Since its our 10 years anniversary,” she looks down for a moment before lifting her eyes to look back into his, glazed with tears. “I’m giving you your freedom,”

“What do you mean? What freedom?”

“I’m breaking up with you Tae,” Y/N smiles softly, tears are again cascading down her cheeks.

“Breaking up?! What?! Baby no! I-”

“Listen to me!” Y/N raised her hand to stop him from talking. “I’m breaking up with you Tae, so you dont have to. I know about you and Yerin and I also know about how long it has been going on,” Taehyung felt all the blood is gone from his face as he tries to grab Y/N��s hand but she flinched away. “I’m giving you freedom from me Tae. So you dont have to cheat anymore. Go to her,”

“Baby no! I’m sorry!” Taehyung is also crying now. “Baby, I swear. Its a mistake. I-”

“Its not a mistake when it has been going on for more than a year Tae,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “I can see your face Tae. Your exhaustion whenever you are with me. How forced you feel when you have to come back to me when all you want is to be with her, right? Its alright. This is my final gift to you. You dont have to feel bad anymore. And I wont put this against you,” Y/N nods and pulls out something from behind the couch, her luggage that Taehyung recognized so well. He recognized because they bought it together. The stickers on it a reminder of all the places they have been together, creating memories, but now all torned up, leaving the surface if the luggage empty. Is she throwimg all their memories away?

“No. No! I’m not letting you go! Y/N, I’m sorry. I know. I know my mistake is too huge to be forgiven, but give me a chance to redeem myself. Just dont leave me, plesse baby,” he pleaded, begging desperately.

“I cant do that Tae. Every night when you didnt come home I cried in my bed, my head spinning, thinking if you are with her tonight. Thinking if you are doing the things you used to do with me. Are you happy with her? Are you sleeping soundly in her arms? I cant do that anymore Tae. I’m sorry but I cant,”

“I swear Y/N. Its over. Its really is over! Its you. You are the one I want. The one I love!” Taehyung tries to pull her back when she tries to wheel her luggage out the door.

“Tae.. I keep on thinking, wondering. Is there anything else that I could have done, that I should have do to prevented you from doing it… but I cant think of anything. I have given you my everything Tae bur its not enough,” Y/N sobs. “I realized it now. Im not enough. A-and this is the last thing I can give you to proof how much I love you,”

“If you love me, please dont go Y/N. Please dont. I will change. Ill do anything you want, please Y/N. I love you, I love you,” Taehyung is already on his knees, hugging her waist but she peeled off his hands that di wrapped around her.

“You dont love me Tae. If you do you wouldnt have done it. There must be something about her that makes you keep coming back… and I’m giving you the freedom to enjoy that with her. That is my last gift to you,” Y/N pushed his hands away and with tear stricken face turn to him one last time. “Happy anniversary Tae, you know I love you, but my love alone is not enough. You will be happier without me. Goodbye my love,”

And with that, Y/N walks out, never looking back.

Baby, you look happier, you do I knew one day you’d fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you

“Its been years Tae… you need to accept the fact that Y/N is happy and she is getting married okay?” Jimin sympathetically looks at his friend. “You want her to be happy dont you? And look at her Tae,” Jimin points to the front, where the main couple of the engagement party stood. “She looks so happy. Jungkook makes her happy, and you know that. He treats her right. She has been happy ever since she met Kookie at the bar,”

Taehyung look at the newly engaged couple in front of the room, Jungkook pulling Y/N, his now fiancee, in for a kiss as she blushes shyly and gave a weak smile towards Jimin.

“She doesnt just look happy Chim,” Taehyung said, making Jimin turned to him,curious as to what his friend is going to say. “She looks extremely happier. Happier than she ever did with me… and thats a good thing right?” Taehyung finishes off his glass in one gulp. “But I’ll be here Chim. I’ll be waiting for her here, forever. And if I ever be given the chance again, then I’ll make her even happier than that,”

#bts #bts fiction #bts v #bts scenarios #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fanfic #kim taehyung #bts kim taehyung #taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung scenario #taehyung fanfic #bts v scenarios #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario #taehyung angst

[demyrie]

I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult. 

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it. 

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life. 

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us. 

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there. 

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too. 

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

#just another mission #jam #demyrie writes #personal #abuse #stalking #emotional manipulation #i would say p/edophilia but this site doesnt know what that means and this isnt it either so how about abuse of a minor #recovery #mental health #suicidal ideation #triggers #Anonymous

[horner88breen-blog]

Can One Truly Leave the Sex Industry

Inside my 5-6 years in the escorting world, I just need seen one woman completely get out of the sex industry. Others, a small minority, may leave apparently industry but typically revert back to selling themselves after a few weeks/months/years. I will never forgot the words, Shell be back, said along with a Madame (brothel/escort business owner) at an establishment I worked at overseas. Consider the 63 after a popular young woman decided it was her last day in the industry, and she wanted to do pursue her new normal job and boyfriend. Shell be backhow discouraging, yet later I realized how real the statement actually was. Paulina Leaving the information mill NEVER without war. Paulina is the only former-escort I understand who has left the industry entirely. She has managed so far successfully, but it wasnt easy at in the beginning. I came to know her intimately only after she left the industry and when she almost fell back to it. However, when she was still in the industry and we were working together we hardly mingled. Having been the odd girl who stayed away from the casual sex, drugs, and party scene, so generally she, like many working girls, found little commonality with my lifestyle. Paulina was a stupendous South America girl who immigrated towards the West at a young age. I witnessed her loss-of-innocence in her escorting days, which happens when she involved herself with heavy partying and living with another escort (a match for disaster). She ended up getting involved through expensive drug (cocaine) habit, which looks the drug of choice for elite escorts/clients. Thankfully, her experimenting phase was short-lived, and ended in one year. One thing that Paulina and I have done have in common was our conflicting values of traditional and modern. She was raised on the inside West, yet she still held on to her traditional South American values (her cultural values conflicted with the individualistic, care-free values she was living as the prostitute). Selling sex is often not problematic, but rather the lifestyle frequently related to high-class prostitutes is damaging (excessive partying, excess shallowness). She'd quit the industry, and completely got away from drug treatments and partying. She called me from your nowhere one day, and wanted to. At first I couldnt discover why she would suddenly want to meet me, but later she told me that I was the only person she hoped to trust from this industry. In her view, I was someone who probably would not tempt her back up in her bad habits, yet I could relate to her because I was an escort overly. I was flattered, and determined to help her stay off from prostitution, even though I wasnt in order to leave myself. She had deep emotional scars from being a prostitute, and think it is hard confide in anyone. She had met a lovely man, but he previously had no idea about her past and she or he wanted to maintain it to remain that way. Whenever she got depressed or felt the urge to return to selling herself, she called me for comfort. I havent seen her in over one year, since she lives overseas where That i used to live. Currently, she's still out of the business, and a wedding soon to the love of her lifetime. She is my hopebecause if she could continue to be away from the industry, then a genuine effort . hope. Unfortunately, it is extremely easy to fall back into prostitution The pattern Ive observed has become common: women leave the industry to pursue love, and they return when that love failed. Another woman I am aware did quit the industry, however she recently admitted that she is returning to escorting. Why? Because she broke up with the person she wanted. Months ago I remember her saying If I wasnt with my boyfriend, then I would personally still be selling myself. This is classic of women trying to depart the industry, and perhaps the most depressing part of computer. Over the years, I met countless women whove returned to prostitution after a failed relationship. Well known girls say they wasted their youth in their failed relationships when they might have been essentially exploiting their youthfulness by selling themselves. During the night these women return to sex work, their hearts are dented. Yes, I have seen many broken hearted women returning to selling their bodies, yet sadly it looks like theyve also lost their souls. When falling in love with a potential partner, an escort to be able to ask herself: Is he worth this method? Is love, itself, enough to quit her autonomy and employment? The men she rejects are individuals cannot leave her with financial freedom, even though they may be willing to adore and treat her decent. Other escorts choose the latter, which is to avoid relationships altogether and focus on man or women. How often do escorts leave the industry when a man is NOT in photographs? I have yet to stumbled upon a prostitute who leaves the industry sector for her very own intuition. Stick to ask myself this question: Do I would like to leave because I want love? Perhaps, as most of us desire love and global recognition. Sadly, acceptance is only granted when people conform to whats frequent. And of course, being a sex worker is out-of-the-norm in modern societies, thus furthering us beyond your societies embrace. But again, it doesnt have staying this form. There are people who fight these oppressive norms that marginalize sex workers its not a very bad thing to differ. But being outside the norms of society requires lots of strength. There is absolutely no social space allocated for prostitutes. As a result, we face tremendous pressure to adhere to the normative ways of living life (such as marriage, owning a home, etc). Although Used to quit for a short period when I realized i was engaged, I never mentally prepared myself that I've been finished is not industry. I still haven't. Its a question that Ive been avoiding to answer: when will I quit? Does an individual even to help quit? Would I remaining? I used to want to quit, and I told myself that I would personally quit selling my body after I'm finished my graduate data. Regardless, I dont feel that Im ready to make now. Enjoy aspects of my job, but I just do not wish the implications (the stigma, the degradation of the industry, the legalities, etc). Fear of leaving sex-work is unique. Escorts in Manchester of emotions. Im aware that the stigma is damaging me, but when times are great I tend to ignore the damage Im executing. At times, sex work doesnt appear like a problem for some escorts, and for others, it is deeply damaging psychologically. But overall, one cannot deny the problem of hunting live in the world where ones identity is constantly hidden and condemned. Social Darwinism, the idea that started this complete survival of the fittest competition among society is a false notion, the idea may be very real in modern society. Im aware that competition is simply a socially constructed concept, yet sadly I feel deeply pressured to engage in this race in society. I fear that if I dont sell myself, I will lose out in this particular competition. This is exactly what needs to change, I have to let go of the pressures of mainstream the population. Why do I want to participate this shallow competition primarily? This is increase in a cold society (Western-Liberal societies) that puts increased progress, individualism, competition, status, and monetary wealth. This is what drove me to the Social Sciences as an area of study: society deeply impacts how people think and react. I assign other reasons why I entered into prostitution on social stress. Once youre in the sex industry, it is very hard to depart. A woman I know is wanting her much better to pursue the usual job but admits she gets the pressure to get back escorting. Its too easy (escorting), and also the money is quick. Her mind, like most escorts, becomes tainted whilst haunting fact: a few hours or an evening of escorting can pay all the bills that would take 1-2 weeks of hard act on a normal job. Did any of folks imagine growing accustomed to our lifestyles? Did we ever imagine that wed donrrrt slave to our own addiction for fast-money? Of course not. A wonderful friend of mine is a former receptionist in intercourse party industry. She told me how she was inclined to become an escort, however she changed her mind once she saw the reality: escorts may make lots of money, but at the high cost of our emotions. Provides you with ask myself time and time againWas it this?

[allcatsaregreyt]

Sollux Captor - Today at 4:47 AM

[TA began trolling CA!] @Eri Ampora TA: hey, i know you really don't want to talk to me right now, and reflecting on everything, i can't say i blame you in the fucking slightest. TA: you don't have to respond to me TA: but TA: uh TA: please dont block me yet TA: because there's a lot a want to tell you and itll take a few messages to do it TA: afterwards ill leave you alone

Eri Ampora - Today at 4:49 AM

[There's no response. But there's no idle message.]

Sollux Captor - Today at 5:59 AM

TA: when i met you, you were just this fun guy who memed the appropriate amount to be unserious and likeable, and you were fun to mess with too. just. a really fun person to be around. i really wanted someone like that around in my life, you know? TA: the pitch crush i gained on you should have really stayed just a crush, because outside of playful banter and memes, our relationship didn't really have much foundation. you weren't ready yet, and i wanted more out of you than you were ever willing to give me. TA: you started getting flush for me while i started getting pale for you because the more i learned about you, the more i started to pity you. the more i wanted to help you. TA: i wanted to fix you. TA: what an arrogant thought, right? TA: but i never thought of you as a project or a puzzle, i always thought of you as a person, my partner, someone hurting that i wanted to see heal. i wanted to be the one who could help you get there. TA: but, well. i'm shit with people. TA: and we both agree that you have a lot of shitty qualities too. TA: i couldn't figure out how to help, the only thing i knew that worked to get you to open up was to push you until you cracked. no one ever offered any other solutions, and it was the only thing i had to get you to talk to me. TA: that was wrong to you, and i don't think i can ever apologize enough for doing that to you. it'll never be enough. TA: i feel like i was wrong for making you be in a relationship with me to begin with. TA: i'm proud of how far you've come, of how much you've healed. TA: but trying to evaluate that pride, maybe that's wrong too. maybe i'm only proud because you did what i wanted you to do. TA: and that's disgusting too. TA: i hate people doing what i want because they don't want to bother telling me otherwise. Sollux Captor - Today at 6:00 AM TA: all this time i thought i was doing the right thing. doing right by you. i genuinely believed it. i've poured so much into trying to get you to thrive and be happy that i lost that ability for myself, and i'm realizing that it not only wasn't ever asked for, but didn't even help. TA: i wasted both of our times, all these last few months. TA: i'm still guilty about hurting you, when i was trickster. TA: i remember the whole thing. i remember that i was made to hate you. but i was so bitter even without that. TA: bitter that you kept running away because you needed to be left alone, and i wouldn't give you that. TA: i should have given up, back then. TA: when of all the things you could have chosen to forget to make your life easier, you chose me instead. TA: that i was the thing making your life so terrible, that you needed to erase me from it to find peace. TA: what did i do instead? TA: i kept pushing. TA: maybe mindfang was right about me and i do have some kind of hero complex. TA: need to be a savior. need to create the disaster. TA: and it did this to you. TA: you deserve so much more. TA: you deserve someone who can love you the right way, not poison you with "good intentions". TA: i really hope karkat can do that for you. TA: i hope that nothing happens between the two of you because of me. TA: please dont be mad at him. TA: we never really even had a real talk about breaking up. TA: just some vague ventposts. TA: i've never been more blind in my life than i have when being in a relationship with you, eri. TA: i didn't know where to go, had no one who would tell me, and you wouldn't talk. TA: i had to do trial and error and even that was hard because you wouldn't tell me if i was doing something wrong. TA: i didn't WANT to give up on you. TA: but trying to help you has eaten me to the point of crying constantly, and i just couldn't fucking do it anymore. TA: my heart can't handle it. i couldn't do it anymore. TA: but i didn't have an intention to stop being your friend, or to stop supporting you. TA: karkat said he'd keep doing what i tried to do, and hell, god knows he's doing it better than i ever did or could. TA: he said that maybe, once you'd healed, we could be together again. TA: but i knew then that it wouldn't happen, even if i could be hopeful. TA: i knew karkat and i wouldn't be enough, that's why i used my contacts to set you up with a therapist who could. TA: i hope she helps you. > There's a pause. TA: i dont know what pushed you to want to kill people in my town, i don't know how saness found you to stop you. TA: karkat and i were really, really sick when that happened. TA: i could barely walk and still i told her i'd come there if i needed to. TA: i wanted to make sure you were okay. TA: but i TA: i felt like you didnt want me there TA: that me being there would have made it all worse TA: so i didn't TA: after i found out where you were i was trying to figure out how to make things better TA: i'm fucking terrified of star but i contacted him because you two were close TA: i thought maybe you two could stay together TA: so that saness wouldnt have to keep you prisoner TA: but then star told me that you two fell out TA: and i didnt know any other options TA: i wanted to talk to you so badly TA: i wanted to understand what was happening TA: i was at school when shit hit the fan and i asked saness again if i could go there TA: because there wasnt another way to you TA: and i was so fucking scared eri TA: i couldnt lose you TA: i couldnt lose another moirail TA: i didnt want anyone doing anything they would regret TA: and i didnt have any fucking answers to suggest anything TA: i heard you were going to that prince guy TA: nadire? TA: and he was kind to karkat TA: so i thought youd be safe there TA: and im glad you went TA: and fuck i've already said so much but there's still so much i want you to know TA: i'm sorry about everything that's happened with saness TA: i'm sorry i pushed you so hard TA: i'm sorry i couldn't be a good kismesis TA: or moirail TA: or matesprit TA: fuck i haven't even been a good friend to you. TA: i'm never going to regret meeting you, or loving you. TA: i'm never going to regret kissing you, or forget anything that the stuffed wolf stood for. TA: did you know i got the scarf its wearing from star TA: star told me not to tell you that but i dont think im going to talk to you again TA: star was the one who hired me to check up on you while you were still living with me too TA: i wasnt supposed to say that either but it doesnt matter anymore TA: you deserve to know all the things i didnt tell you or couldnt tell you or wouldnt tell you TA: ive appreciated all the time weve spent together TA: theres been so much trouble but theres been so much good too TA: i miss you TA: i miss holding your hand TA: im not going to live all that long compared to you but TA: youre someone im always going to think about TA: no ones ever going to replace you eri TA: so what if theres people with your name TA: so what if im dating one TA: hes not you TA: and hell never be you TA: hes got your voice but ive never heard you in his words TA: youre sweet and kind and troubled and so so gentle and TA: not replaced TA: im sorry i just realized you wouldnt care for any of this TA: im sorry ive guilted you so much TA: im sorry ive pushed you TA: im sorry i broke promises TA: im sorry ive hurt you TA: im sorry ive forced you TA: im sorry ive cornered you TA: im sorry for all the things i cant name TA: i blocked you because i thought youd be better off without me still trying to engage this awful friendship TA: and im going to want to every time i see you TA: because just seeing your username on the dash makes me smile TA: just like it did months ago TA: even after everything thats happened TA: thinking about you makes me smile eri TA: and it still will TA: im not going to go to your lighthouse anymore TA: im having a transportalizer put into the hole so i dont have to cross your property to get into it TA: and its far enough away that it shouldnt be a bother for you TA: ill stay out of sight so you dont have to see me at all TA: and if its still not good enough ill abandon it and dig out elsewhere TA: but i can't leave it because the bees need cared for TA: and im sorry for getting mad TA: at this point i dont have a right to be angry TA: i took your tag as an invitation and broke in TA: and hell thats probably what you were baiting me for TA: because youre fucking smart and im just a shitty lowblood that happens to know how to hack TA: i'm not going to say im sorry for being in your life TA: you would have died TA: and i dont know maybe you would have preferred that TA: but ive been grateful for the extended time ive gotten with you TA: but i dont think ive helped you at all since the start TA: just gave you a few laughs but ultimately ive only hurt you TA: and i dont even think youre still reading at this point ive sent a lot TA: youll probably block me before you finish because its annoying TA: so its probably safe to say this by now TA: before we cut this off forever TA: i want to see you one more time TA: i want to give you a hug TA: and i want to say goodbye TA: because youre a real person TA: and you deserve a proper seperation instead of everything happening over text [TA ceased trolling CA!]

Eri Ampora - Today at 6:05 AM

CA: i don't think i could look you in the eye wwithout feelin' sick. don't come to see me.[CA ceased trolling TA!][CA has blocked TA!]

#discord rp #long post

[yeabitchitsvic]

“Sex, Lies,Videotape” Chapter 2 (Think About It, Talk About It)

Hey Dersha Fam !!!!!!!! Super sorry for the long wait on this loooooonnnggg chapter. Its been a process. I've been super busy for the past weeks but I wont bore you with personal details. This chapter has been done about a whole year now I just hadn't had time to sit down and post and bold the dialog. But here it is! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and hope it was worth your wait.

Authors Note: By the way when speaking about the Detectives I may go back and forth between their first and last names so you might get confused if you haven't looked at the character write up of the two.

The Roman’s sat closely together in their living room to prepare for questioning. Their lawyer had finally given the Miami detectives the signal to enter. Both Detective John Taylor and  Louise Peters walked into The Roman’s home and introduced themselves. They sat in front of the fine young couple and proceeded to start working. “Mr. and Mrs. Roman my name is Detective Peters and this is my partner Detective Taylor. We’ll be asking you both some questions surrounding the incident that has taken place. I assure you that me and my partner are just trying to follow lead based on the information given so we can catch this guy before he acts in anyway. Mr. Roman, Detective Taylor will question you and Mrs. Roman I’ll be questioning you.” Detective Peters finished. That move was very strategic. Being that John had a aggressive approach so he figured Derek could handle it better then Ahsha. He knew that if he took that approach with Ahsha Derek would be counter aggressive to protect her and they wouldn’t get anywhere. Plus if they were going to be successful they needed Derek and Ahsha to trust them both. Ahsha had now sat completely up but she was still dangerously close to Derek. Right now it was very clear that the couple was gaining their comfort within each other. “Mrs. Roman we’ll start with you”. Detective Peters stated. Ahsha looked over at Jeff and he nodded his head towards her. “Okay” Ahsha answered. “Now Mrs. Roman I know the saying is never ask a women her age but, how old are you”? “I’m 26” “Okay and to my knowledge you’re the caption of the Miami Blaze dancers?” “Yes that’s true. Caption and Director” “And your husband is the caption of our basketball team?” “Yes” “Okay great and how long have you two been here in Miami?” “We arrived her before the season so maybe a year and a half”. Detective Peters was jotting down notes as Ahsha spoke. “Ahh I see and before moving here I’m aware you both worked for the championship winning LA Devils”. The Detective said amused “Yes before Derek and I left we were both captions their as well”. Ahsha shrugged nonchalantly. “Really, captions for a team that had just won the championship. Why did you and your husband leave?” Detective Peters tilted his head with a peculiar look. “Derek and I wanted to start something new here together. We were offered the same positions and it just made since to do something new after being married.” Ahsha answered confidently. Everything beyond this point had worked out perfectly for them thus far. “Did either of you have any enemies back in LA?” “Derek and I are public figures, Im sure there are people that either loves or hate us” Ahsha stated. “Ill be a little more specific then. From your knowledge did you or either your husband have and enemy that were close to you in your personal word”. Detective Peters was good at his job and he was calm and patient. Ahsha took a pause before answering. “Honestly L.A. was a great place for us looking back in hinsight. Derek and I were both sucessful but we did have our share of problems there. Before I became caption the Devil Girls were ran by Jelena Howard and she and I never got along”. Ahsha felt she had nothing to hide. “Okay lets stop there. Do you think that Ms. Jelena Howard could have anything to do with this. You know settling some old scores with you two”. Ahsha though about her response. “Actually no, when Derek and I got married she was then the new owner of the team and she wanted me gone more than anything so there would be no point. Derek and I are leading a whole new life together in Miami so she got what she ultimately wanted. "And was that you leaving? He comfirmed. "Yes, that and no one to steal her glorious shine”. Ahsha spoke sarcastically "Ah I see”. Detective Peters added more notes and kept a straight face. "And was that your only enemy in L.A.” "Detective I assure you that my husband or myself don’t have many issues with a lot of people”. "Mrs. Roman let me ask you another question?” Louis shifted crossing his leg. “Sure” “Who is German Vega?” Derek eyebrow raised at the sound of that name. Detective Taylor took notice. “Mr. Vega’s an old friend of mine.” “Friend?” Ahsha automatically knew what he was getting at when he questioned her. “Okay I see you’ve done your research so Ill give you the short boring version. Mr. Vega was my old college boyfriend. When I started dancing for the league the pressures of my job was too much for him so we broke up. Being that I worked in close proximity with my husband over time Derek and I started dating and of course he and Derek weren't golf buddies. He and Derek have had a few exchanges which I know you probably read the article were they had an old altercation at an movie premiering event we all attended. Once Mr. Vega faced the fact that I had moved on with my life and had fallen in love with my husband, he and Derek came to somewhat of a respectful terms but we both hadn't seen or spoken to him since right after I got engaged.” Ahsha then sat back closer Derek. “Humph, its pretty hard watching the women you want fall in love with someone else. You think he’s trying to sabotage your marriage and get a little revenge?” Detective Taylor paid close attention to Derek’s reaction and just like he suspected Derek wasn’t phased. Derek was a confident man and wasn’t bothered by the subject. Detective Taylor saw right then that they were a solid couple. They trusted each other and they fed off of each others energy. Being that Ahsha was so open about the subject showed that the couple didn’t harbor any feeling towards this past situation and that defiantly set the tone. “No!” Ahsha simply answered. “Okay Mrs. Roman one more question and I promise I’m not trying to be a jerk so please dont take this wrong but I have to ask”. "Fire away” Ahsha responded in an slightly annoyed tone. “Are you sure you guys came to Miami for a fresh start or were you running to get away from old problems.” Ahsha looked at the detective and narrowed her eye. Derek could since that she was getting annoyed. He placed a firm grip on her leg knowing his wife was about to give it to the detective but his grip suggested to her to just answer the question. Ahsha huffed. “Okay Detective Peters here’s the truth so you can take it or leave it. When Derek and I made the decision to come to Miami it was because yes we had had our few hardships in L.A. as individuals and as a couple and we wanted better for our marriage. No! We had nothing to run from because Derek and I aren’t affraid to face anything, but did we want better for oursleves, yes. Just because you have a lot of success doesnt always mean your getting sucess where you need to be. So to answer your question that is why Derek and I moved to Miami, and I reiterate WE WANTED A FRESH START”. Ahsha said standing firm in her words. Derek grabbed the back of her neck firmly so that she could calm down. He didn’t want this process to get the best of his wife.  “Great! Mrs. Roman and I’m sure up until the moment I’m assuming you both were satisfied with your decision” Louis asked in a more friendly tone. "Very much so.” Ahsha answered. “Okay so now here’s were the confusion lied. This is what we need to build a case on. If you don’t think it’s anyone from your past then what’s the motive”. “Listen Detective Peters, I have no idea. All I wanted to do today was come home, eat my dinner with my husband and relax after a long day of work. Instead I’m in my own living room which doesn't really feel like my living room anymore being questioned about someone who has invaded my privacy”. Detective Taylor didn’t say anything he just sat back and observed. He could tell that Derek was definatly the alpha in the relationship but Ahsha depite her breakdown wasnt a coy women. She was still very soft and beautiful as a women should be but she was also very similar to her husband which made her appear strong. “Yes I understand Mrs. Roman and that’s where me and my partner come in I garentee you that were gonna catc”….. Before Detective Peters could finish his sentence Detective Taylor cut him off. “Okay Mrs. Roman I think my partner has enough of the backstory so If you don’t mind I’ll speed this up to this point with your husband”. This made Louis hot inside because he knew exactly were his partner was headed and sometimes John could shake shit up when it didn’t need to be. Even though Ahsha was annoyed he still had her comfortable enough that she was willing to talk. But Louis could tell that Derek wasn’t the guy to be trifled with. Especially right now. "Okay Mr. Roman lets get into this”. Derek sat comfortably on the couch ready to take on the task at hand. “Okay cool” Derek responded back. “So from the information that we have gain thus far its to my knowledge that you and your wife have been in Miami for a year and some change”. “Correct” Derek answered simply. “Okay and up until this point how would you say your working experience has been in Miami?” “Well the seasons going great. Were hoping to go to the Championship this year and I’m hoping its with the Devils as they’ve had a pretty good season as well.” “Ahhh so you’re keeping up with your previous team I see”. “Its only right” Derek chuckled. “And what about your teammates here?” Detective Taylor inquired. “What about them”? “Were they receptive to you coming here to play and step in as caption. That could ruffle a lot of guys feathers.” “Look Detective”…….Derek had forgoten his name “Taylor” The detective added “John M. Taylor” "Right, Detective Taylor. I’ve played in the league for eight years now, so many of the guys I’ve met and already was well acquainted with so there was no place for jealousy just basketball.” “That’s great and how would you say from your prespeactive how your wife feels about Miami?” “Ahsha likes it here, shes doing an amazing job with the Blaze dancers. Their first dance of the season that she choreographed went viral with over a million views and re-tweets on Twitter but I knew she’d kill it here.” Derek looked over at Ahsha and they both gave each other a brief warm smile. Then Derek started to continue.“From time to time she misses L.A. All of her family is there so I get it.” Derek said rubbing the back of her neck. Ahsha closed her eyes and found comfort in his touch. “Wow Mr. Roman quite impressive you are very in tuned with the misses I see. Ahsha you should be proud”. Derek furrowed his brow and cocked his head slightly. “Well she’s my wife, of course I know and celebrate all of her accomplishment. Why wouldn’t I know her inside and out.” “Excuse my partner Mr. Roman, he’s not married.” Detective Peters chimed in. He was trying to gain some of the trust back in the room. “I would have never guessed” Derek eyes widen as he spoke sarcastically. Detective John was not liking to be the butt of the jokes so he figured it was time to shake things up a bit. “Alright lets get back on track Mr. Roman”. John suggested. “Now if this person is someone who in fact you guys don’t know we need to focus on the why and how.” "Meaning”? Derek inquired. “Well Mr. Roman, why is someone focusing in on you and your wife. What make you two worthy opponent, why would anyone want to expose your life. Mr. Roman please enlighten me how would you describe your marriage.” “Well obviously it stems from Ahsha and I both being public figures like my wife said earlier. I mean why collect footage of random people no one knows. People tend to see celebrities as something other then just regular people so I guess its something intriguing about seeing how we operate, which is just like anyone else. But to answer your question my marriage is like any other marriage as you saw on the video”. "Now Mrs. Roman this is were my questioning gets a little tricky.” “How so?” Derek asked “Well as a detective I need to make sure we’re looking at every angle this situation could have played out”. "Sure” Derek simply answered. “Okay and have you or your wife ever discuss the interest of filming your life and or your sexual encounters. Newlyweds and all I’d understand if you two were trying to keep the spice up.” John chuckled in his throat. “Excuse Me” Ahsha said shocked. “What the hell is this an interrogation?” “Excuse me Detective but my client doesn’t have to answer that” Jeff was shocked in how fast the questioning turned left. Derek and Detective Taylor locked eyes. Derek was the only one in the room who didnt budge he could already tell that he was a jerk. Derek knew his type and he wasnt affraid to play his game. He signaled his hand up towards Jeff to assure his lawyer that this was okay. He and Ahsha had nothing to hide so they could be honest. “No! We’ve never discuss it but I can honestly tell you that even if I was interested my wife would shut that down. When my wife and I make love we attack. There’s no time to think about turning on a camera, were just in the moment. Plus watching it will never be as good as doing it. Besides I’m a grown ass man I have no interest of having everyone watching my personal life with my wife. Even though I guarantee you that the internet is sitting back waiting impatiently to get a look”. "So that would mean you or your wife has no interest for reality t.v. either”? Derek smirked at the detectives tacky tone and he honestly felt like he was insulting he and Ahsha and he would never play that game. “Detective take a look out that big glass window. Crazy view right? You can see a 360 degree view of the entire city of Miami”. Derek pointed out towards their balcony gazing at the hypnotizing view. “Yea the view is defiantly stunning Mr. Roman.” John was getting annoyed thinking that Derek was trying to avoid answering the question but Ahsha knew well enough what her husband was doing. He was being”the” Derek Roman. “Yeah, and what do you think about me and my wife’s home? "Its……. definitely lavish, with a homie feel, really spacious for just two people, nice decor, its stunning”. The detective admitted. “Right!” Derek retorted “Okay and what does your view of Miami have to do with my question? Derek leaned forward with a look that could kill. "Oh I was just making sure you took a look around before I sincerely asked,………. Does it look like me or my wife is looking for a "reality check?” Derek looked at him as if he had lost is mind. It was no secret that the couple was successful so they never had to brag or boast about the blessing they were afforded to have but Derek was making it very clear that he would be the only ass whole ever welcomed in his home. “I’m sorry Mr. Roman did I offend you”. John asked in a condescending tone smirking. “Nah no I’m just sitting her wondering why you two are getting a background check from my wife and basically asking me are we trying to leak a sex-tape we had something to do with. I mean that is in fact what you were getting at right Detective?” Derek said blunt tired of playing games. There was some sick stalker out their watching he and Ahsha’s every move and they needed him found immediately. "Mr. Roman” Detective Peter’s cut in. “Pardon me if it seems like we’re asking some hard question but this is the process. Its our job to look at the situation from all angles. Now this might not be the case but its not uncommon that people secretly record they’re spouses without the other party knowing”. "Look Detective Peters”. Ahsha now stepped in. “I assure you and your partner that Derek and I had no idea or anything to do with our lives being invaded. You guys are reducing this down to just some sex-tape but the truth of the matter is is there is every aspect of our lives on that video. EVERY SINGLE ASPECT!!. From personal life to business life. Now were done answering questions, what Derek and I are interested in is what are you guys going to do after today to find this person. This was Louis chance to get them back on track so he stepped in quick before John pissed them off again. "Right so Mr. and Mrs. Roman what we will do is investigate all the aspect that aren’t adding up. We’ll send the cameras to the lab and have them tested for prints. We’ll also track the serial numbers for the camera and see if we can trace them back to some form of credit card history. We’ll also collecting all surveillance footage from the property and personalty interviewing with the security staff on the property to see if anythings off. My partner doesn’t believe so but I feel like this was an inside job. I mean this building has only three units and proper security. There is no way that this person got in if they didn't know the ins and outs of everything here. Plus if that’s the case you guys could file a lawsuit against the owners.” “Alright that’s good, finally something I like to here.” Jeff announced as he was pacing the floor rubbing the back of his head. “Yes but there is only one more thing I’d like to ask and I promise this will be the last thing before our investigation begins”. Detective Peters took out is notepad again. “If either of you can try to recall, from the moment you arrived in Miami do you remember anything that may have struck you as weird. You know made you feel uncomfortable like cars tailing you, strange people around the premises that you didn't recognize.I need you two to really think.” Derek started to talk with Detective Peters and as he did she felt her mind going back to the video she had saw an hour ago. She started to think back to moments that were actually on the footage. As Derek started to rethink about the past mouths. Her thoughts slipped away to when the couple first arrived in Miami.. ………………………..

(Flashback) Ahsha and Derek spent Saturday at home. It was their first full weekend off since the season had started. They both just wanted to stay home and have a chill day to relax. The time was now 7'o clock and after running a couple of errands for the day Ahsha just wanted to get home and relax. She has just finished her shower and put on her tank top and panties. She laid across the middle of her bed and propped herself up comfortably on a pillow as she scrolled through the channels with the remote. Derek was downstairs in the weight room doing a light workout. Ahsha’s phones sounded to alert her of an email but she decided to check it later. She kept scrolling through the channels but couldn’t decide weather she wanted watch a crime investigation show or something on HGTV for some good interior design. As she couldn’t make up her mind; from the lack of never being able to stay home and watch television. Her email notification sounded again. Ahsha opened her email and it was from the owner of the Miami Blaze basketball team; Mr. St. Patrick. The subject line read “Miami Blaze on Is Sizzling Hot”. Ahsha opened the message and it simply read. “I knew you were going to be the perfect fit. This is amazing and numbers don’t lie. We have been trending on Twitter since last night. Look at those views. Re watch the video and see me first thing on Monday in my office.” The owner attached a link to the video the was swirling around Twitter. Ahsha saw the number of views on the video and she nearly dropped her phone. 4 million re-tweets. This had been the first time in a long time that the Blaze Girls were making this much buzz.She read through a couple of the comments and they were getting good feedback. Ahsha played the video and it felt damn good watching her own choreography as she was front and center, plus the girls danced the routine like it was there first walk. Ahsha couldn’t help herself she stood on the bed with her phone in her hand and belted out a powerful scream of excitement. “OH MY GOD!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!” Ahsha jumped on the bed. Derek was coming up from his workout when he heard all the chaos coming from his bedroom. “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? Ahsha what’s going on?” Derek wiped his head with his towel. “Oh my gosh Derek baby look”! Ahsha said turning around her phone for him to see. “Wait is this the halftime show from last night? Derek’s eyes widen as he saw the views and retweets. "DAMN this has like 4 million view.” “I know. Derek I just got an email from Mr. St Patrick and he said he wants to see me in his office firs thing Monday.” “WHAT?! That’s great Ahsha!” Derek smiled from ear to ear. “Look at my fine ass wife doing her thing. Damn girl come here, Im so proud of you”. Derek picked her up from the bed as she straddled his waist. He wrapped his strong arms around her man he gave her a warm hug in admiration. "Ughhh Derek I cant believe this” Ahsha smiled like a Cheshire cat. “I can, my wife is amazing” Derek cooed kissing on her chin causing her to giggle. Ahsha grabbed his shoulder and looked him in his eyes. “You know what Derek?” “What Mrs. Roman?” “I’m glad we’re here”. Ahsha said simply. This made Derek feel so good inside because ultimately he had made the suggestion of Miami and he was glad to see his wife having success of her own. It was only his hope for both of them to be happy and Ahsha success played a huge role in that as well. “Babe we gotta do something. Just like you said we aren’t guaranteed any moments so babe lets seas them all. This is the the first out of many we have to do something.” Derek said. “Yea but Derek ‘I’m really not in the mood to throw a party or go out to a club” Ahsha whined. “That’s okay Ahs we can still do something just me and you. Whatever you wanna do I promise.” “Really?” “Anything you want. We could celebrate”. Derek said kissing her on the lips. Ahsha took a moment to think. "Ummmm well it has been a minute since we’ve done something alone together or even had the time. How about dinner overlooking the beach papa”. Ahsha smiled warmly. “Dinner sounds great”. Derek cooed. “Okay where?” Ahsha inquired. “Wherever you want babe that’s where we’ll go. We’re celebrating your accomplishment so its all about you”. Ahsha couldn’t do anything but be excited. This day was turning out better then she expected. Derek placed her on her feet and kissed her cheek. “Go on go get ready, and make sure you slip on something sexy for daddy”. Derek grinned. Ahsha ran off into her closet to find something to wear. Derek proceeded to the shower. ………………

After some time Ahsha picked out a couple of things to wear to dinner but she couldn’t decide what to wear. She was so indecisive lately. It was because they had literally made work their whole life for the last mouth in a half so it was weird picking out anything but practice clothes. “Derek I don’t know what to wear” Ahsha whined from inside the closet. Derek had his towel wrapped around his waist as he just finish lotioning up. He walked in the closet going to exactly what he would put on. “Ahsha are you still looking. Babe you always look great no matter what you wear just put something on before you make us late for our reservations”. Derek said without turning to look at his wife. “Okay babe how do you like this one?” Ahsha tried on a blue dress. Derek looked out the corner of his eye but really didn’t pay attention. “Yea Ahs that looks fine” Derek uttered. “Derek you didn’t even look” Ahsha said placing her hands on her hip. “Yes I did its the blue one.” Derek said now looking at his watched trying to make a decision. “Derek you saw the color out the side of your eye”. Ahsha rolled her eyes. Derek didn’t turn around to respond he knew that Ahsha would only work herself up and if he gave his opinion she’d end up wearing something different anyways. But Ahsha knew exatly what she had to do to get him to pay attention. “Well okay what do you think. Do you like this choice better?” Ahsha asked “Yea that look good too” Derek said pretending to pay attention. “Oh really you want me to go out like this?” Ahsha confirmed. “Just like that” Derek repeated. Ahsha walked up behind Derek. “Well if I’m gonna go out in my bra and panties I guess I should put on my guarder belt to make it a little bit more formal then.” That got Derek attention quickly. “Bra and panties?” Derek furrowed his brow then turned around. “Yep that’s what you said you wanted.” Derek huffed out loud. Ahsha was never the women who took hours to get ready she always looked her best. After they got married she picked up the habit of wanting to know Derek’s opinion on what she wore out. “Okay you have my full attention now, I promise.” Derek said now turning around. He leaned back on the counter top to show her she had his undivided attention. “Nope this is what you wanted so I’m ready to go” Ahsha said about to walk out of their closet. Derek shot her a look that made her stop dead in her tracks. “Don’t play with me” He said raising his brow. “Yea I thought I’d get your attention”. Ahsha shot back. Then she started to search through a couple more dresses, it didn’t take long for her to find another that she likes and tried it on. “Okay what about this red one?” Ahsha asked as Derek looked her up and down. “Yea babe I like it with your hair up like that” Derek complimented. “Really, it feels a little tight to me. I think Im gaining weight.” Ahsha said looking at her appearance in the mirror at the provocative dress. “Ahsha you’re not gaining weight. Actually…. that one looks really sexy babe.” Derek said smirking. “See I knew it, you just like it because its so short my ass is practically falling out.” Derek took another look at the dress and who was he fooling he didn't really care that her hair looked nice with the dress all he could see was breast on display and ass falling out. “Yea you’re right you’re not wearing that out” Derek said sternly as he pinched her butt. “But I cant help it that ass is just…….. looking real right mama”. "Ugh Derek you’re no help and stop don’t talk about my butt” Ahsha swiped his hand away. “Women that’s mine I’ll talk about it”. Derek chuckled spraying his cologne on and Ahsha caught a whiff of it."Plus your ass always looks so good during the season from all that dancing girl”. Finally Ahsha found he dress she liked that had the perfect balance of sexy and classy. She slipped on her sexy black dress that had the high slit for her mans view. She pair the look with her black strappy Giuseppe heels with gold jewelry and her black and gold clutch. “Oh really, how good does it look?” Ahsha purred. Walking closer to her husband. Derek groan deep in his throat. “Ummmmm good enough to eat” Derek said grabbing her chin softly kissing her lips.“ "Now look who’s gonna make us late for our reservations” Ahsha joked. “Nah I’m good but when we get home prepare for the worst.” Derek warned. “You are such a pervert”. Ahsha said pushing her husband away. “Says the women who loves all the perverted things that I love to do to her”. Derek teased “Whatever just zip the back of my dress up please”. Ahsha rolled her eyes “Whatever you say Mrs. Roman”. Derek zipped the back of her dress and quickly stole a kiss on her cheek. The Romans’s were off to a lovely evening out.

……………………. The time was now nine’ o clock and the Roman’s had now taken their seats on at the five star restaurant popular in Miami known as Suga Cane. Derek pulled out his wife's chair and she sat down gracefully. He then took his seat and the couple was ready to enjoy themselves. A tall handsome fellow approached their tables to serve them. “Good Evening Mr. and Mrs. Roman, my name is Anthony and I’ll be serving you two tonight, what can I get you?” “We haven’t exactly decided yet Anthony but thank you”. Ahsha gave a warms smile to prompt server. "Yes but while we’re deciding, let us have a bottle of your best champagne. We're celebrating.” Derek smiled never taking his eyes off of his wife. “Yes sir right away and I give you two a moment for your meal.” Anthony walked away from their table. Derek and Ahsha took a look through the menu and when the server returned to the table he pour the both a class of vine from a glass wine vase them at it on the table placing a white cloth over it to keep it chilled. He then took their food request and made sure that they were satisfied with everything they needed. “Derek I cant believe we’re having a night out just the two of us, feels like its been forever”. Ahsha said truly excited. “We haven't gone out in forever babe, trust me I know. But all that hard work we’re putting in is paying out. Ahsha I’m really proud of you.” Derek said sincerely. Raising his glass of wine to his wife. “Awh thanks babe, I couldn't do it without you supporting me every step of the way. And of course you massaging my calves after those hard practices." Ahsha said chuckling clinking her glass along with her husband’s. They both stood up slightly to peck a kiss over each others lips. "Anytime you need me I’ll be right there. I promise.” Derek cooed “I know” Ahsha replied biting her bottom lip. As Ahsha heard those words echoing in the back of her mind she found them to be very true as Derek was there for her beyond a shadow of a doubt. “Okay but really babe on a serious note, I gotta make sure I’m keeping up with you. All this buzz and next thing you know is they’ll be calling me Ahsha Roman’s husband. Talk about boss bitches wifing niggas.” Derek threw his hand up exaggerating. Both Derek and Ahsha bust out laughing at Derek’s joke. Ahsha almost spit out her wine. “Babe don’t do that. Stop making me laugh this hard they’re gonna kick us out the restaurant” Ahsha patted her fingertip below her eye not to mess us her makeup from the slight tear that formed from laughing. “What, its true. Plus they’re nothing with a little competition” Derek teased. “Oh whatever Mr. takeover Sports Center your first two games for dropping 70 points by yourself”. Ahsha glowed over her husband. “Ahhhh I see you trying to make me feel good but its all about you tonight. You can kiss up to me tomorrow." Derek finished. Anthony brought the couple the’re food and it looked delicious. The fine couple basked in their beautiful night out and cherish the moment they could have together uninterrupted. As Ahsha thought about this moment Miami didn’t mock the same feeling that she felt presently. She felt lucky and on top of the world. Now, here she was having a bad taste in her mouth about a place that once made her feel unbelievably happy. She thought about how lovely the night was and how she and Derek danced on the beach at the restaurant and basked in their love for each other. She also remembered feeling lucky that she had a husband that was so happy to celebrate her and made sure she lived in those moments. The nostalgia washed over her mind of how she and Derek bumped and grind to the Cuban music and continued to drink more glasses of wine until they were feeling just right. It was something about how her hips moved that night and how Derek placed his hands on her waist. Ahsha’s thoughts went back to the moments that struck the conversation on the phone with Kyle and how it all started at dinner that night. After dancing the couple went back to their table and of course with the drinks flowing the two of them started their usual sexual banter. Ahsha got up from her seat an switched her hips in her husbands direction. She lat in Derek’s lap at the table and he placed his hand on the nape of her ass calm and collected. Derek would be a gentlemen but when she sat down all he could think about was how soft her butt naked ass feels grinding against his skin when he fucked her from behind. Ahsha caressed her hand around his shoulders and looked into her husband’s fiery eyes as he didn’t say a word. Ahsha caressed his chin sweetly. "What’s wrong? You look nervous. Afraid I might eat you alive tonight”. Ahsha said picking up Derek wine glass from the table and taking a sip. Little did she know her husband was very nervous because he didn’t trust himself not to throw his wife on the table right in the middle of the restaurant and sex her right there. Derek chuckled at his wife’s comment and took his wine glass out of her hand and finished the wine down. “Nervous? You have no idea, what you’re getting yourself into”. Derek cooed in his deep voice. "I think I’ll take my chances” Ahsha shot back leaning in to kiss him on his neck. “I see a little alcohol makes my wife bold.” Derek smirked enjoying the feel of his wife’s plump lips. “I might be a little bad tonight” Ahsha purred “Oh so you’re a badass?” "Yea” Ahsha smiled teasingly. “Humph, I’d like to tame that” Derek coxed. “Oh really”. Ahsha inquired. Derek then licked his lips. “I tell you what, You go get the car and I’ll handle the check so I can get your badass home.”. This made Ahsha very excited.

Ahsha and Derek could feel the heat rising between them on the car ride home. As Derek sped through the Miami streets Ahsha was hypnotized by the city lights. Miami was so different from L.A. Both beautiful places but Miami was just different. As they road up the strip to get home Ahsha leaned over to kiss Derek on his neck. She placed seductive kisses letting him feel her full lips against his flesh. She then let her tongue slither to his ear and licked it. “Women you better slow down” Derek smirked pressing his foot harder on the gas going faster. This made Ahsha fall back into her seat because of the acceleration. Ahsha shot him a naughty look as he made her sit back. This man was in so much control he munipulated the car just to control her. Ahsha reached underneath the slip of her dress. “Okay, I’ll be good for now” She said daringly throwing her panties in Derek’s lap. Derek glanced down in his lap and raised is brow at Ahsha. He took her panties and put them on the inside if his jacket. Ahsha sat back and let Derek drive to get them home safely. She gazed out of the window and the drinks mixed with Miami’s bright neon colors were doing something to her; they were enhancing her sexual desire. She looked over at Derek and he briefly looked over to her and grinned placing one hand on her thigh as he continued to drive. Oh the things she wanted those hands to do to her. The night air crept up her neck and teased her senses and Ahsha was beginning to get delirious from needing her husband inside her. Finally they reached the top of their street and was caught by a red light. Ahsha looked up before and the red lights from the traffic light set her a blaze inside and when it turned green that gave her the go to be a complete freak tonight. They drove through the security gate and walked through the main lobby were the guy at the front desk was sleeping. Derek grabbed his key card for the elevator and swiped it so that it would open and the elevator would know to go to the top floor. They both got in the elevator and Derek grabbed Ahsha’s waist and pulled her body into his. He kissed on the back on her neck and teased her earlobe with his tongue. She could feel his bulge in his pants and it was exactly how she liked it; hard. “Is this what you’ve been wanting all night? Derek asked as he pushed his dick on her harder which felt like heaven since she had no panties on. Ahsha turned around to face her husband to gain some control back. She placed her arms around his neck and they kissed intensely. Their lips intertwined fast and rough. Ahsha pushed Derek into the mirrored walls inside the elevator. "Yes, but you know what else I’ve been wanting all night”. Ahsha asked smirking. “What’s that?” “I’ve been wanting to taste this all night” Ahsha said as she grabbed his dick into her hand. “Oh don’t you worry, you’ll get a taste. Trust me when I say I’m gonna stick my dick and tongue in every whole you have.” Derek picked Ahsha up and she straddled his waist. Ahsha’s breath hitched at his naughty reply and her vagina was ready and willing. The elevator door finally opened and they opened there front door in one swift moment and they were now behind the doors of their sanctuary. Derek and Ahsha was so into each other they fail to realize anything was off. Little did they know that someone had just left from the inside of their home. Derek and Ahsha didn’t bother to turn the lights on. The lights from the city and the moonlight was enough for them to have a calm mood in their home but it was one that was romantic. Derek and Ahsha now kissed passionately and was on the verge of losing control. Derek carried Ahsha upstairs and he placed her down in front of their bed. As they tongue kissed Ahsha begand to un button Derek shirt and she ripped it off exposing the upper half of his well sculpted body. Derek squeezed her ass firmly through her dress while placing wet kisses on her neck. Just as he was about to rip her dress off something switched into Derek and he stopped. Ahsha began to kiss down his chest and she got lower to his belt buckle wanting to undo it. “Ahsha wait baby, stop” Derek he said running his hands through her hair but she was in attack mode and wasn’t listening. “Owwww no I gotta have it” She quickly started to unbuckle is belt and Derek forcefully grabbed her by her arms lifting her back up. Ahsha stop” Derek said sternly. Ahsha then stopped recognizing his seriousness. “Derek what’s…. Whats wrong” Ahsha asked. Derek began to speak softly. “Nothing baby. Its just….. “Just what?” Derek began to chuckle at his thought. He placed his hands gently on his waist and looked her in her eyes. “Nothing beautiful, Its just……why are we rushing? We’re so used to getting it when we can because the season is already crazy and we're squeezing sex in when we’re in a rush and right now we’re doing the same thing but we dont have to. Baby when’s the last time you let me make love to you. You got my dick rock hard and I dont wanna waste it on a quick fuck. I wanna make this about you tonight”. Ahsha pulled Derek in by his belt and kisses him softly. She was a little tipsy and the alcohol had her horny as hell but her husband was right. Ahsha smiles at her husbands genuine revelation.She wrapped her arms around him and they kissed softly getting intoxicated by their own love for one another. "I love you” Ahsha uttered “I love you too”. Derek cooed. As his words echoed through her body Ahsha pushed Derek onto the bed. “You know, I cant remember the last time I made love to you either Mr. Roman” Ahsha purred grinning. Derek looked at her with animalistic eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows staring at his wife. “Take off your clothes” Derek demanded. He was always in control even when he wasn’t trying on purpose. Derek had Ahsha struct and if she hadn’t handed over her panties early they would have fell to the floor on his command. Ahsha’s breath hitch as she remembered all the freaky things they did together as husband and wife that night. All the things that the world was potentially about to witness. She could hear Derek and the Detective’s still talking in the background but she couldn’t get all of her favorite moments from that night out of her head. Her mind immediately went to the moment they were butt naked on their bed. Ahsha hair now out of her neat bun and she was on all fours. The thought of Derek’s dick deep in her wet center was paralyzing. Derek had a vice grip on her hips and he grinned roughly inside her making her take it all. He worked her pussy out and she was loving every bit of it. Her man could truly make her toes curl. “Ughhhhhh DEREK Yasssss!!!!!! She moaned as her hands tightly gripped the sheets moving her hips back and forth to match his rhythm. Ahsha tried her best to keep this up but Derek dick was so hard and deep she felt like her pussy was going to explode. She was on the verge of cumming so hard. Derek felt Ahsha running trying to prolong her orgasm. He forcefully jerked her hips back making her take all the pleasure. "Come Here Women” Derek demanded “Don’t run now” Derek said amused. “Derek wait baby, I’m gonna cum!!!” Ahsha reached back into his chest. Derek swiped her hand away going even deeper as he leaned down to kiss the center of her back. “UGHHHHHH FUCK” Ahsha screamed as chills went up her spine. “Ima make this pussy cum all night” Derek said pumping faster. As he did this he reached underneath his wife to rub her clit and by his wife reaction she loved it. “Shit Derek” she sucked air between her teeth loving both the vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Ahsha bit her bottom lip and decided that she was all in. She arched her back further and started to throw her pussy back fast on his dick. Derek stopped pumping and looked down to see his wife’s juicy pussy lips peaking out from between her ass cheeks and he loved how it swallowed his dick. Derek smacked her ass as her pussy sucked his dick. “Give me that shit” “ARRRGGHHH” Ahsha moaned and as soon as Derek demanded her cum she came on his dick and rode herself through her orgasm. Ahsha love cream spilled on his dick and she took a moment to catch her breath but they were far from done. Her mind rushed over to the though of that night were she and Derek had sex in their bathroom. She could see her and Derek’s reflection in her mind clear as day as they stood in the mirror making love. How Derek kisses her neck and squeezed her breast and he stroked her intensely. She loved the way his chest flexed when he made love to her. “Owwww Derek that feels so fucking good” Ahsha moaned holding on to the counter top “You like it” “Ughhhh yess this shit is so proper. Fuckkk mee Fuck meeeeee”. She screamed in the top of her lungs. She was still intoxicated from the many drink earlier and it seemed as if the night was spinning in circles. Derek pushed her chest down to the top of the counter top and it was cold against her nipple which made them harder. Derek was right they didn’t have to rush and they sexed what seemed like for hours. They were for the first time christening their house and putting on a show for their unknown viewer. The stalker watched the footage and he praised himself for coming at this particular night. The footage that he was collecting could have been enough and this was his first night watching back. Ahsha and Derek ended up on the living room floor as the glow from the city cast blue lights on their naked bodies. Ahsha laid on her back and Derek was on top of her. She wrapped her legs around his back and he continued his fucking. They kissed and caressed each other as they enjoyed the heat from each others body. “Shit Ahsha” Derek cursed as her vagina muscles were clinging around his dick. She was so wet that every time he moved you could here her vagina dripping just the way he liked it. “I love this fucking dick daddy. Fuck me harder”. Ahsha moaned out of breath. She was sure glad to no have practice the next morning because she would never make it the next day from all the pleasure her body was feeling. Her husband wasn’t lying when he said the night would be all about her. Ahsha had cum three times and she knew she would be no good tomorrow. She would sleep all day. Ahsha and Derek were so engulfed in their lovemaking that they fail to hear their doorbell ringing which was weird because it was 2 in the morning. "Ughhhh,…Wait baby what was that” Ahsha asked as Derek placed soft kisses on her neck as he continued to drive kiss dick into wetness. “The sound of sweet pussy” Derek cooed biting his lips. He slipped his togue into her mouth and continued his loving act. The door bell sounded again and this time Derek heard it. “What the fuck? Who the hell is that?” Derek whispered. Ahsha grabbed his face to refocus his attention on her. “Please Derek don’t stop you feels to good. They’ll leave” Ahsha kissed his lips starting their tongue kiss again. The doorbell rang again and this time the couple couldn’t ignore it. Derek stopped again and Ahsha got frustrated. “Wait Ash, think about it this may be important. It has to be if the guy downstairs let them up and we we'rent expecting any guess. Plus its two in the morning”. "Ughhh well hurry up Derek and get rid of them”. Ahsha sassed. Derek hopped up but obviously he couldn’t walk to his front door like he came into the world. Ahsha saw him looking around and she saw his boxers in the door. The door bell rang once more then came a knock. “Looking for these?” Ahsha held up his underwear grinning “Yes now give them to me” Derek said trying to attend the unwanted guess, but Ahsha didnt care as far as she was concerned they were interrupting the evening that was meant for her. “Unn Unn I want a kiss first” she teased smiling. “Ahsha come on before you make me kill them for ringing my damn doorbell.” Derek wasn’t ready to play. “Come on baby just one” Ahsha looked at hi with her doe eyes. “Okay just one”. Derek leaned down close to his women and she was waiting with her suculent lips. Ahsha closed her eyes ready and Derek snatched his boxers from her.“Ohh you almost had it, you gotta be quicker then that.” Derek said busting out laughing because now his wife was pissed. He slipped on his underwear and headed to the front door.  Derek walked to the door honestly pissed off. How dare anyone be ringing his doorbell at 2am in the morning and on top of everything interrupting the fucking he was giving his wife.The bell rang again before he could reached the door. “Yo, yo one second!” Derek said walking to the door in nothing but his fitted briefs . He finally reached the door and opened it to see a police officer standing at his front door.Derek was actually shocked. “Oh shit, how can I help you officer?” Derek said blinking twice startled. “Good Evening Sir, we got a call from one of your neighbors that said they heard a disturbance going on in your home.” Derek looked confused. “Disturbance? What kind of disturbance?” Derek asked genuinely. “The person who made the call to us said they heard screams and bumping against the walls, like someone was in a fight”. “Officer I assure you that’s impossible.” Derek said thinking of how huge their home was. “And do you live alone or is someone else present at the moment, Mr………” “Roman. Derek Roman and no this is me and my wife’s home.” “Okay could you call your wife down I’d like to speak with her as well.”Derek rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “Uhhh sir I’m afraid I cant do that. You see me and my wife were kinda in the middle of something when you arrived. I’m sure she..” Derek was interrupted by Ahsha’s voice. "Derek what’s taking you so long?!” Ahsha walked from the living room with only a white sheet covering her naked body. Derek stepped in front of her quickly as she didn’t notice the officer. “Ahsha we have company”. Derek said blocking the officers view. "Well what the hell do they want Derek, its two in the damn morning?”Ahsha said getting frustrated because their fun had been interrupted.They had both been so busy getting adjusted into their new lives that she was craving for all of her husbands attention. Derek and Ahsha bickered back and forth quickly as Derek tried to get her to understand the situation at hand but the drinks from earlier had Ahsha horny and she had no interest and wasn’t listening. One of Ahsha’s long slender legs escaped the sheets and she tried wrapping it around Derek’s waist. She then grabbed Derek’s face and tried placing kisses on him but he escaped her grip knowing that this was not the time. The police officer interrupted the young couple. “Hello, uh and are you Mrs. Roman?”. Ahsha finally looked out to the front door and noticed the officer. She immediately was shocked and hide behind Derek’s tall stature. “Excuse me ma’am I’m just trying to do my job”. Ahsha then realized she had nowhere to run so she came from behind Derek revealing her sex hair and her salacious appearance. The officer looked at Ahsha and immediately thought she was stunningly beautiful. He thought about all the elements and the situation as a whole and started to piece things together but still wanted to keep it professional. "Yes I’m Mrs. Roman. Officer what seems to be the problem”? Ahsha wrapped the sheet even tighter walking towards the door. The officer cleared his throat trying not to give her direct eye contact. “Ahhhhh ma’am we got a call from one of your downstairs neighbors that said they heard screaming and bumping against the walls like there was an altercation going on”. "No officer no altercation here” Ahsha said simply. She was too tipsy to have this conversation. All she wanted was for the officer to leave so she could put her husband on his back. “Are you sure Mrs. Roman, the person who made the call seemed very disturbed by these said noises”. Ahsha eased her arms around Derek’s well built torso. "What can I say? I’m not the quiet type and my husband can get a little rough so I think that sums up the issue”. Ahsha said quite frankly. Derek eyes widen as he couldn’t believe his wife’s little sassy attitude when she had a couple of drinks in her system. The officer looked at Derek and smirked. "What can I say she’s a feisty one.” Derek cut in. “Look officer me and my wife went out to celebrate and had a few drinks tonight. Instead of staying out we decided to finish our celebration at home, but we do apologies about the noise. We’ll try to keep it down.“ Derek couldn’t make any promises though. The officer chuckled. "No problem, we just came out to insure everyone's safety and make sure their wasnt any sign of abuse of any kind so everything's fine”. “Well depending on what you think abuse is my husband was defiantly assaulting me”. Ahsha said annoyed that the officer was still there. She was enjoying the sex too much and honestly this cop was blowing her buzz. “How so Mr. Roman?” the officer still keeping a professional composer “By sticking his di…. Ahsha’s muffled the last words as Derek quickly placed his hand over her mouth. She had truly had one to many tonight and Derek had to be quick on his feet knowing she may say anything. "Uhhh Ahsha he doesn’t need to know that” Derek rushed out quickly wanting to kill her. “Umm Hummm oh I see, alright you two enjoy your evening and try to keep in down please. I’d hate to have to interrupt you again tonight”. "Alright thank you officer.Have a good evening” Derek nodded then closed the door. He turned around and looked at Ahsha shaking his head. “Agghhhh Mr. Roman what am I going to do with you”. “I can think of a few things”. Ahsha purred smirking. “Ummhhhh” Derek groaned in his throat taking in his wife’s radiant appearance. “Bring your fine ass over here women, I’m wasn't done with you”. Ahsha was literally drooling at the thoughts of what happened until the next morning. After this she heard a sound snapping herself out of her inner thoughts. “AHSHA!! Baby are you okay”. Derek sat up on the couch and looked at her “Huh? Yes I’m fine I was just deep in thought.” “Well Mrs. Romans do you have anything you would like to share with us as well before we pack up and head out”. Detective Louis chimed in. Ahsha swallowed hard feeling exhausted. "Actually no Detective not right now. I don’t mean to be rude but its been a long day and I just need to get some rest.” Derek rubbed her shoulder. “If I remember anything else that we may have left out I’ll be sure to contact Jeff so he can pass the information on.” Ahsha concluded. “Mrs. Roman are you sure” Detective John asked concerned that she was holding back information or something they could use agaisnt the stalker. Derek interrupted. “Nah No my wife said shes done so we’re finished for the day”. Derek said fianl. "Well alright looks like we got all we need”. Detective Peters got up and shook their hands. “Mr and Mrs. Roman we’re terribly sorry that this has happened but we promised we’ll catch this guy before he has any chance to strike”. Derek then poke for the both of them. "Thanks Detective we’ll be in touch.” After being questioned by detectives and the investigation team collecting the camera eqiuptment for further investigation the time was now nine o'clock and everyone went home for the night. The Roman’s didn’t say a word. Derek and Ahsha mounted the stairs and got undressed for bed. Derek and Ahsha laid in silence before Ahsha finally spoke. “Maybe we’re so connected that were both sleeping right now having the same bad dream.” Derek pulled her in close to his side taking a deep breath before he answered. “I wish this could be over in the morning, but I’m afraid It wont be.” He squeezed Ahsha’s hand tightly underneath the covers. “Hey, try to get some rest okay”. Ahsha laid her head on his chest and slowly closed her eyes, with the day she had just had she was exhausted. …………………. The next day Ahsha and Derek both got ready to go to the arena like any other day except they rode to the arena together. They needed to stay close if they would get through their first day at work since the drama. They knew that paparazzi and the media would be lurking and they needed to be a united strong front. As they pulled into the back of the arena paparazzi swarmed the front waiting for them to arrived and they kissed the traffic. They took the emergency elevator to the  fourth floor. Derek walked Ahsha to the studio and they held hands until they reached the door were all the dancer were now waiting inside. They could feel all the dancers eyes on them through the glass window. “Hey Ahsha are you sure you gonna be okay.” Derek asked looking into her eyes to feel her out. “Yes Derek Ill be fine, I can handle this.” “Okay well answer me one question and Ill leave it alone.” Derek smirked. “Huhhhh what Derek” Ahsha playfully rolled her eyes. “Are you happy with the life we have together?” “Of course….I wouldnt change it for anything and you know that” Ahsha assured “And do you know how much I love you for everything you are”. “Just as much as I love you” “And as long as we’re together we’ll never lose”. Derek smiled softly. When he looked at Ahsha her heart was full. She was grateful to have her husband and she had the confidence to stand up to whatever she had to face. "Come here!” Ahsha said pulling Derek in by his jersey and he embraced her in a tight hug. His muscles surrounded his wife’s tiny body and they both leaned in to seal their love with soft kisses on the lips. Their lips peck each others softly and they finally parted. “Alright Mr.Roman have a great practice”. “You too Mrs.Roman. If we finish early today I’ll be in the weight room until you finish up” “I love you.” “I love you too Ahsha” Ahsha walked into the studio with her gym bag and walked towards her office while the girls stretched. “Good Afternoon ladies” Ahsha sang in her normal tone. All the girls watched closely to see if anything was off. “Heyyyyy” they all replied back in unison. Some where curious about the situation, some where mortified to ask their teammate about the ordeal, some didn’t care, some of the dancers were upset and shocked. They were all feeling some type of way. Ahsha came back into the studio with her binder and sat in the middle of the floor with the team to discuss their final events coming up for the rest of the season. The girls crowded around her as usual but the tension in the air was awkward. Ahsha took a deep breath. “Okay ladies as you all know we have four charity events left, two commercials to shoot before the championship begins, and the owner of the team has invited us to dance at one of his private events that he is having with some investors. Now I sure I don’t have to let you that this is a lot to end the season with so practices will go an hour over starting in two week”. Blaze girl Jenna raised her hand for a question, she was always on top of things. "Yes Jenna” Ahsha acknowledge her hand. “So what are the dates for the charity events and when will you have the event schedule out to us?” “The charity events are next mouth two back to back and one on the last day. But I have the schedules already ready Ill give them to you guys at the end of practice" Ahsha confirmed. “But other then those events, I’ll be speaking with Mr. St Patrick to figure out what are the plans for us in the off season and also the goals for next season,but he’s also told me to let you guys know that he’s very impressed with the season we’ve had and I cant say this on the record yet but he kept hinting on a off season bonus.” All the ladies we’re ecstatic they were getting excited about all the great news and to Ahsha’s surprise the meeting with the girls were going smoother then she expected. “So before we get started ladies are their anymore questions?” “Yea I have a question” Blaze girl Kayleigh said enthusiastic. “Okay?” Ahsha replied. The dancers fake excitement went off her face once she had the green light. “Sooooo we’re gonna act like we didn’t see her allllllll over the internet last night.” Kayleigh came out with it. Ahsha was almost scott free. “Oh my god, Kayleigh are you crazy” Angela interrupted” “No Angela I think we should get a couple of things straigh before we all move forward.” Ahsha came forward.“Now lets get one thing clear KAYLEIGH I dont really have to explain shit to anybody but since we’ve all grown a bond together over the last year and a half we are like a sisterhood. We lean on each other like family here and I have nothing to hide from anyone so I’ll cover it all in one setting”. Ahsha said with a bitchy grin on her face. “Now first things first, Derek and I didn't leak the footage on the internet as a matter of fact we didn't even know there was any video of us that was ever recorded. I would never do anything to risk the integrity of my marriage or as a human being for some cheap publicity. Also I’d never risk the integrity of the team because ladies we all represent something positive here. This isn’t a situation were we recorded something and it got into the wrong hands. The situation at hand is very serious. Someone broke into my home without me or Derek’s knowlege and they placed cameras around to record us”. “Omg Ahsha are you serious?” Blaze Brittney asked shocked now to here the real story behind the scandal. “Yes Brit but I cant go into much detail as now we’re in a full blown investigation to see who’s is behind this.” “Damn Ahsha I cant believe this what if you were home or even Derek, that's sick, this could have been so dangerous”. Blaze Angela sympathized with her. “Yeah I know. Im just glad we werent.” Ahsha took a relieved deep breath thankful that she could move on with her teammates. "So do you guys know what all may be on the footage asisde from what we saw online?” Angela asked Ahsha took a deep breath.“As far as the content on the tape I don’t know. The previewed video has every aspect of our lives I imagine so I’m just gonna say everything, maybe much of nothing I don’t know its still unfolding for us right now. I wont go into full detail like I said as we’re going through and investigation but I will say one thing and I’ll leave it at this. Obviously the person or persons behind this is bold enough to have invaded our privacy so I have to speak as if the full video has been leaked. I’m not naive and I feel that they might be sick enough to do it but whatever is on that video Im not ashamed of. A few of us here are lucky enough to be married so you know how a marriage can be. Even the ladies who arent married I hope can sympathize and relate to how it can be when your with a man you love. Derek and I are just like any other couple. We love each other but that desnt mean we dont have hardships. I dont mind sharing that with you because my marriage isnt built on punk shit so nothing can come between that. And as far a the other content, I don’t wanna toot my own horn here but my husband is fine so you already knew that I sit on my husband every night if possible.” “Well Ahsha we knew that.” Blaze Brittney admitted high fiving another dancers hand while giggling.“You two are always so affectionate in front of us so we fugured.” “Yes but what couple isn’t? Even though we’re affectionate we would never feel the need to showcase to the entire world what goes on in our bedroom.” “Well damn now we know where all those sexy moves come from.” Blaze Julia laughed out joking rolling her lips. Ahsha was glad the air was now clear with her team. “Yes I can assure you that all of those moves were made up the night before from my husband bending,twisting, and lifting me in many ways”. Ahsha admitted. “Oh my gosh somebody shoot me am I hearing this” Blaze Kayliegh now commented getting her fix of tea she needed with her nosy ass. “Well you’re the one who insisted on knowing so there you have it”. Ahsha shot back. "Oh and one more thing since we’ve got the air clear I’ll say one last thing and we will get started. I’ve grown to love and truth each and everyone of you and I truly mean that but…… Ahsha took a long pause to show seriousness and look them all in the eye."Derek is off limits, nobody needs to conversate with my husband about the situation,period. This is the first and last time Im adressing the situation with any of you but you dont need to ask him anything. We are here to shake our asses and go home and anyone’s personal business is not for sharing. Do you understand that! All the girls agreed. “KAYLEIGH that means you especially”. Ahsha looked at her as if she’d slap the fuck out of her if she ever felt the need to ask her about her marriage again. "Yeah I got it” Kayleigh put her hands up feeling her wrath. Ahsha smirked wishing she would blink twice. “Good I wanted to make sure you understood that personally” Ahsha gave her a bitch I’m watching you look and he rest of the girls side eye’d Kayleigh smirking at her being on Ahsha’s side. “So I think that clears everything up. Any last questions?” Even though Ahsha asked if they had questions they understood that they probably better not so no one in the room said anything. “Good!. Now lets dance bitches”. Ahsha pressed play on the music and practice began.

OKAY DERSHA FAM!!!!! You have reached the end of chapter two. Chapter three is where the story will get very interesting. I hope you guys enjoyed it and Again I apologize for the long ass wait but on the bright side….I beat vh1 in the announcement for season 4 so theres that. Also SORRY FOR ANY MISSPELLINGS OR ERRORS!!!

Detective Louis Peters

Detective John M. Taylor

#slv #dersha #au #fanfic

[artislifeevans]

Chat Para → Say No To This

Tagging → Sam Evans and Mercedes Jones featuring Mila 

Time Frame → March 15th around noon … 

 Location →Evans Enterprises in New York 

General Notes →Mercedes goes to visit Sam and they try to end things between them.

I wish I could say that was the last time I said that last time, it became a pastime A month into this endeavor I received a letter From a Mr. James Reynolds, even better, it said Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth In the pockets of people like me down on their luck You see, that was my wife who you decided to (fuuuu) Uh oh, you made the wrong sucker a cuckold So time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled And hey, you can keep seein' my whore wife If the price is right, if not I'm telling your wife I hid the letter and I raced to her place Screamed how could you in her face, she said No, sir Half dressed, apologetic, a mess, she looked pathetic, she cried Please don't go, sir So was your whole story a setup I don't know about any letter (stop crying God dammit, get up) I didn't know any better (I am ruined) Please don't leave me with him helpless (I am helpless how could I do this?) Just give him what he wants and you can have me (I don't want you, I don't want you) Whatever you want, if you pay You can stay (Lord, show me how to say no to this) I don't know how to say no to this 'Cause the situation's helpless And her body's screaming, hell, yes No, show me how to say no to this (whoa) How can I say no to this There is nowhere I can go (go, go, go) When her body's on mine I do not say (no) yes Say no to this (Yes) say no to this (no) (Yes) say no to this (no) (Yes) say no to this (no) Say no to this I don’t say no to this There is nowhere I can go (go, go, go) So? Nobody needs to know- “Say No To This” From Hamilton

Sam: had been in office all day trying to get his presentation ready to show to Mr.Wong and their investors. This was probably one of the biggest deals that he had to prepare for in a while and it had to go well. Because if he didn’t he was putting his family in more danger then they already were. He was suppose to have lunch with Mila, and honestly Sam was looking forward to it because it had been awhile since they have spent time togetherness. But at the same time all he could think about was Mercedes was doing. He was pulled out of his thoughts at the sound of his assistant beeping in. “Mr.Evans.. Ms.Parker is here to see you” said Kendra. Sam sighed looking down at his work load there was no way he could go to lunch for two hours. “Okay let her in”he mumbled, standing up from his cheer as she walked in “Hey baby.. um I can’t go to lunch.. I have all this shit to do. An-” he said seeing the disappointment in her face “I’m sorry. I have to work.”

Mila: was really looking forward to having lunch with Sam. She had so many ideas to show him for planning the wedding, especially after talking with Charice and she was eager to show him. But as soon as she walked into his office, she could tell he was busy and that meant he was stressed. She tried to hide her disappointment but before she could he was apologizing. “I know you’re busy and I’m trying really hard to be understanding about that I just… I feel like I haven’t seen you. You work late, you aren’t home most weekends. I mean last weekend I didn’t even see you for days and I know, I know Mr. Wong is an asshole but I dont feel like I’m a priority…"

Mercedes: had to end things. She decided it after talking to Charice. Hearing how excited Mila was about the wedding and how she wanted to include everyone Sam cared about, it was eating her alive because she was getting in the way of that. She loved Sam. So did Mila. But sleeping with him wasnt going to change the fact that he was marrying someone else. No matter how much fun they had and no matter how she felt about him, she needed to end things. Which was why she needed to talk with Sam. They couldn’t keep this up and she knew if she suggested they meet in private, at her place, she wouldn’t have the courage to push him away. And right now that was what she needed to do. Mercedes walked out of the elevator and headed towards the front desk. She smiled thinly at the receptionist, drumming her nails against the desk. “Hi. Is Mr. Evans in? I’m here to see him. Um I’m Mercedes,” she said shakily.

Sam: felt his guilt hit him hard. He hated seeing her so upset and more importantly he hated that he was hurting her in the worst way possible. Yes he loved Mercedes with everything in him. But he wasn’t good for her, she deserved so much more. And he could see that it was time to let her go completely. Sure it would be hard but was for the best, he couldn’t do this to her anymore. Sam walked over toward Mila, cupping her face “I’m so sorry baby.. you are a priority.. it’s just…” he sighed, knowing that he couldn’t tell her what was going on with Wong. He didn’t want to worry her. “I promise.. tomorrow my day will be all about you and our wedding. We can do whatever you want.” He suggested. Kendra smiled up at Mercedes and nodded “Well he is with his fiancee right now. But I will see if it’s okay for you to go in.” She said reaching over to buzz Sam “Mr.Evans.. Mercedes is here to see you.” She called into the mic. Sam tenses up and not quickly telling himself to get a grip “oh okay! Tell her to come in” he replied. Kendra hung up the mic “You Can go in now.”

Mila: hated quilting him into anything. She knew he was busy and she didn’t want to whine but she also didnt want him to think him completely ignoring her was okay. She looked up at him as he cupped her face and sighed. “Babe don’t make a promise you cant keep,” she said with a frown. She winced when the intercom came on and smiled because she’d been wanting to talk to Mercedes, she just hadn’t found the time. “We can pick this up when you get home okay?” she whispered, standing in the food of her toes and kissing Sam.

Mercedes: flinched when Kendra mentioned Mila was there. She went to tell her never mind but before she could, she could already hear Sam saying it was okay. Mercedes nervously walked into the office, feeling her heart drop when she walked in as the engaged couple was kissing. It broke her heart but she needed to see it. She needed to see that they were in love and that she couldnt get in the way of that. “Sorry. I didnt know you were here Mila. I can come back,” she said with a shrug.

Sam: sighed “I-I can keep this promise.. I just have to move somethings around. That’s all”he said realizing he was making things worst. He hate disappointing her or making her feel like he didn’t care. He was glad that Mercedes Was there because they needed to talk and with Mila about to leave this would be the perfect time. He looked over as Mercedes open the door and smiled nervously “Hey.. no come in.“ he said motioning her to come.

Mila: shook her head as Mercedes spoke. "No I was just leaving. Actually I’m glad youre here. I had a question to ask you,” she said glancing back at Sam. “Sam doesnt know this but I am actually one bridesmaid short and I know youre more his friend than you are mine but if it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have given him another chance. So I was wondering if you’d be my last bridesmaid?”

Mercedes: honestly wanted to leave. She felt uncomfortable and she knew she’d intruded on an important conversation. She started to feel even more uncomfortable as Mila asked her to be her bridesmaid. “What?” she asked, shocked. She suddenly felt dirty all over again. Here was this woman who was kind to her, looked at her like she was some kinda old friend and now was asking her to be her bridesmaid. Mercedes felt like a bitch compared to Mila because here she was, sleeping with her fiance. “I.. Uh…” She glanced at Sam before turning back to Mila. “Honestly that is so sweet of you. Really. I just… I wouldn’t feel right. I mean I wouldn’t wanna take someone’s spot…”

Sam: was shocked that Mila wanted Mercedes to be her bridesmaid and honestly he thought it was a bit weird since he was once engaged to Mercedes. And besides he knew if Mercedes was there he didn’t he could get through the wedding “um honey. I don’t think..” he trailed off nervously not wanting Mila to get suspicious. He glanced over at Mercedes seeing just how uncomfortable she was and he wanted to save her from this but he didn’t know how with out making Mila feel bad or hurt her feelings. “You don’t need a lot of brides maids I mean it’s a small wedding”. He pointed out.

Mila: waved her hand. “No you wouldn’t be taking anyone’s spot. And I know it might be weird because you two were engaged before but… You guys are friends and you saved our relationship Mercedes. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” She looked up at Sam and shook her head. “Sam you have one more groomsmen than I do and I’m not gonna tell you to choose between your friends because I couldn’t make one more bridesmaid. Besides the only person in our wedding party on the bridal side from your side is Allie. And I’m sorry but I cant take no for an answer,” she laughed. “Please Cedes? At least say you’ll think about it?” She glanced down at her watch seeing that if she wanted to grab a lunch and make it back to class she had to go now. “I should get going. Let me know what your decision is okay? Charice is designing the dresses and she needs final measurements and everything. Just… Let me know. I’ll see you at home,” she said pecking Sam’s lips once more before leaving the two friends in his office.

Mercedes: felt like she had swallowed a frog. This wasnt happening. This all felt so surreal and all she wanted to do was beg for forgiveness, especially after seeing him overjoyed Mila was about this wedding. She nodded her head tensely as the woman spoke, practically begging her to be in her wedding. What was she supposed to say. She couldn’t say no without raising some suspicion. But she couldn’t very well be in the man she loved’s wedding. Mercedes waited until Mila was out of the office before letting a breath out she didnt realize she was holding. “Oh my god,” she gasped, finding it difficult to breathe. She placed her hand over her chest and dropped her head, gasping for air. She hadnt had a panic attack since leaving the hospital but now it was like the worst one she could remember. “I c-can’t..” She was trying to say that she couldn’t breathe but the words wouldnt come out. She stumbled over to a window and opened it, the cold air hitting her face and filling her lungs. She inhaled deeply, steadying herself as tears filled her eyes. “We’re gonna kill her Sam,” she turned around and spoke. “She’s gonna find out and it’s gonna destroy her.” The wind blew her hair out of her face and she sniffled. “We cant do this anymore… I cant be the reason that your marriage fails before it even starts. I’m sorry… I can’t…” she trailed off, walking over to the door.

Sam: could tell by the look on Mila’s face she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He sighed softly glancing between them as Mila spoke. Mercedes literally look as if she was going to pass out. Sam smiled weakly when Mila kissed him, nodding his head “okay..” he said watching her leave. He was getting ready to apologize to Mercedes but before he could she was already in freak out mode. He raised an eyebrow at her comment about not wanting this affair anymore “You don’t?” He asked as his eyes followed her to the window. “Cedes.. I can’t either” he said but he was pretty sure she couldn’t hear him over her freaking out. He wanted to talk about this and assure her he felt the same way. But she was already trying to leave. Sam quickly grabbed her hand, turning her around to face him “Hey! It’s okay… I agree.. I can’t do this anymore either.. I can’t hurt her.. she’s been great and if we don’t stop it’s gonna be the end of all of us” he said softly.

Mercedes: spun around when Sam grabbed her hand and quickly pulled away. A part of her was happy that Sam agreed with her. She wanted him to but another part wanted him to fight for them. She wanted him to tell her that she was all he wanted and that he was going to tell Mila as soon as possible. But it dawned on her that Sam didnt want her. She was sex and that was all. She was a pleasant distraction that just happened to spread her legs for him. She felt nausea take over and took a giant step towards the door. “Good… we’re agreed then. I wont use you to forget my bullshit and you wont use me for an easy lay or whatever the hell you were using me for. You got me out of your system and now you know what you missed after these years and I know too… goodbye Sam,” she said, leaving the office before another word could be spoken. She practically rushed to the elevator, jamming her finger against the button as she fought tears. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” she hissed at herself as she got on the elevator. Of course he didnt want her. Why would he? He had Mila who was perfect and she was just fucked up, so fucked up. He didnt need the work. Mila was easy, she was everything anyone could want. And Cedes was a mess. She pressed the closed door button and felt herself shake as a sob escaped her lips.

Sam: looked down between them sadly. He loved Mercedes he really did and everything in him was telling him to tell her that. But he couldn’t, he had to think about what was best and he wasn’t the best for her. He licked his lips and nodded his head in agreement. What she said was Partially true. Being with her helped him forget about his problems, but what she didn’t know was that he was also with her because he loved her. He winced at her words hating the way that he came out “Shortie I-” he tried to say but before he could she was already out the door, heading to the elevator to leave. He didn’t want things to be like this, he wanted to make sure that they still could be friends because he couldn’t live without her in his life. He thought maybe he should give her space. But he knew if he did that the next time they spoke things would be awkward and he didn’t want that between them. So he grabbed his coat walking out of the office “Kendra I will be back in an hour” he rushed out, running down the hallway. He could see the door closing and started to run even faster “Shortie” he called after her.

Mercedes: could barely see through the tears in her eyes. She always thought she’d avoid this pain if she never was in a relationship again but here she was, feeling like her heart was cracking and her ability to breathe was leaving her. She placed a hand on her stomach, inhaling deeply as the doors got ready to close. She could do this. She could live without him. She’d done it before. She just didnt want to. She looked up, hearing her nickname and frowned in confusion as Sam ran to the elevator, stopping it just before it closed fully. “What’re you doing?” she asked, her voice cracking as she wiped at her tears angrily.

Sam: finally got to the elevator stopping the door before it could close. He slide in, hearing the door shut behind him. He turned to look at her, seeing the tears running down her face “Y-You’re crying” he whispered, feeling like his stomach was dropping. He didn’t know why she was crying, they ended things as far as the affair went, but she would always be his best friend. And it was killing him to see her cry “Shortie” he said sadly seeing the anger in her eyes “please don’t be mad at me. I can’t handle it” he said honestly reaching over to thumb away her tears. “Please talk to me..”

Mercedes: shook her head. “I’m not, I promise,” she said, wiping at her eyes shakily. She didnt want him to see her like this. She already felt pathetic as it was and crying in front of the person she wanted more than anything after he’d just said they shouldnt be together was a low she didnt want to reach, even if she had agreed with him. “I just.. I want you happy. That’s all I want for you. i want you happy and Mila makes you happy so…” She sniffled as he wiped away her tears and nodded. “I could never be mad at you. You’re my best friend Sam. I’m mad at me. Just me. I promise. Seriously, go back to work. You looked busy… I’m fine I swear. I’m okay.”

Sam: smiled sadly, knowing good and well she wasn’t okay. She could lie to anyone else but he knew her, just like she knew him and she was far from okay. “I know you want me to be happy and I want that for you too. You have to know that.” He said not wanting to leave her like this. He needed more time with her, so he could figure out what was wrong. So he turned around pressing the emergency stop button. Jerking toward her when the elevator stopped. He reached out to her to keep himself from pushing hard into her. He looked into her brown eyes, seeing the tears that were threatening to fall from them. He knew he should be this close to her not after they both promised to stop this. But he just wanted her to be okay. He swallowed thickly, running his fingers down her face “You know you don’t have to be so strong with me Cedes.. you can tell me what you want or what you need and I’ll do my damnest to make it happen”.

Mercedes: opened her mouth to tell him that she was fine, one final time but before she could, he pressed the emergency stop button, halting the elevator in placing. She felt her heart skip a bit as he nearly fell into her at the sudden motion of the elevator and looked into his eyes, her cheeks growing warm and her chest rising and falling quickly. He was so close that if she just angled her head a little bit more, they would kiss. But they couldnt, they’d just stopped whatever this was and she needed to have a little bit more self control. “Oh but I do,” she whispered, trying not to fall under his spell once more. “Sam what I want, you cant give me…” She let out a shaky breath and leaned into his hand, her lips grazing against his callous fingers. She wondered how many paintings he’d done with this hand. How many sketches had he started and torn out of his sketch book out of frustration with this hand. How much paint had covered this hand that was so lovingly on her cheek. She reached up, taking his hand from her face and placing it over her heart. “You once told me your heart only beat for me,” she whispered, staring at his chest. “You said no matter what it would always beat for me. That I was the reason that you got up in the mornings to face this awful world. That I was the reason that you didnt just drive off the road sometimes,” she scoffed with a shake of her head. “You said before I broke up with you when my dad found out about us and I never understood. I never… I never got it until right now. Until I realized that I wake up happier on days when I know I’ll see you. I think better when I see you. Hell, I write better songs when I see you.” She finally looked into his green eyes and felt a tear drop from her own. “I didnt realize it until now that my heart beats for you.”

Sam: didn’t understand what she meant. He didn’t think she had feelings for him again, sure she told him a few times that she would always care for him. But he didn’t think it was on a level of falling for him again. But he was wrong, he was dead wrong. She loved him, just as much as he loved her and it made him feel like shit. Because he didn’t think he was good enough for her and he didn’t want to hurt her again.But from the looks of it he hurt her anyways. “Cedes I-” he trailed off, closing his eyes at her words. He did love her and he did feel as if his heart only beated for her. That has never changed and it never will, but he didn’t think he was right for her. He looked down as she placed his hand over chest. “It does” he muttered feeling himself on the verge of just spilling everything to her, his feelings, his love for her, everything. He stepped closer to her, running his thumb over her softly lips. Damn it to hell if he didn’t love her with everything in him. He felt his own tears forming, not knowing what to say or what do at this point. All he knew was that he wanted to kiss her. “I’m not worthy of you” mumbled, leaning down to kiss her lips softly, feeling her how fast her heart was pounding against his hand.

Mercedes: went to tell him that he was wrong. Whatever he thought about himself and whatever he though about how good enough he was for her, he was wrong. He was right for her. He was the only person right for her and if he didnt believe it then she would prove him wrong. She met him halfway as he kissed her, pushing upward as he leaned down to kiss her. As horrible as it was and as much as she knew this was wrong, this was all she wanted. All she wanted was to stay right here with Sam and never leave. She could feel her tears falling from her eyes as they kissed and she brought her hands to rest on his cheeks, pulling him closer.

Sam: knew this was wrong and that he should move away from her. Especially since he now knew how much she felt about him. He wanted her, just like she wanted him, but he didn’t deserve her. She deserve so much better than he could give him. He moved closer to her, running his hand down her body, lifting her up without stopping the kiss. The more they kissed the more passionate it became. He was kissing her as if his life depended on it. He couldn’t allow himself to tell her that he loved her but maybe she could feel it from his kiss. He broke the kiss, running his lips down her neck as mindlessly grind his hips against her “I need you” he whispered against her skin.

Mercedes: let him kiss her like there was no tomorrow. Her head felt light like she was floating each time their lips passionately glided against one another. She sighed heavily, trying to catch her breath as he broke the kiss and trailed down her neck. Her head lifted with a small groan of encouragement before she nodded. She didn’t ware that this was an elevator. She didn’t care that this was wrong. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted him for herself.

Sam: continue to assault Mercedes neck as he ran his hands to the hem of her shirt yanking it off her. His conscious was telling him to stop, this wasn’t right. But he fought against it, he couldn’t stop, even if he tried. He locked eyes with her, never looking away while, he dropped the shirt on the ground, taking off his own doing the same. He cupped her face, searching her eyes for a second. All he could see in them was love, and he so badly wanted to tell her that he felt the same. But before he could push himself to do it, he was quickly reminded why he couldn’t. Sam leaned down to kiss her lips heatedly but gentle, running his hands down to the he buttons or her pants, to unbutton them.

Mercedes: was aware that her shirt was coming off. She was aware that Sam was kissing her all over, making her head fuzzy. She was even aware when he reached for her jeans and started to do that but all she could do was close her eyes and rest her head against the elevator wall. She wanted this so badly and she was sure she’d feel the guilt when this was over but right now all she wanted was to feel all of him. She moved her own hands down his bare chest and started to undo is belt blindly as they kissed. His slacks came undone with a quick tug and she pulled him closer, her body aching for his touch.

Sam: tilted his head, deepened the kiss, gently probing his tongue past Mercedes lips, brushing the tip against her warm tongue. His hands skimmed down her neck, running over her shoulders, traveling down the side of her breasts before resting them firmly on her soft hips. He grunted softly against her mouth as she pulled him closer to her. Sam usually wouldn’t have sex like this, don’t get him wrong he likes being adventurous but he thought they would be better off in a bed. He just always thought that it was a quick way for a guy to get laid and he didn’t want to ever treat a woman like that. But they were in an elevator and there was no way he was going to stop touching her and he from the way Mercedes was acting she would kill him if he did. Sam ran his hands down to her pants, pulling them down a little. “You’re a bad influence on me Jones” he breathed, kissing the side of her throat. He slid his hand in her pants, moving it between her hot thighs, rubbing his fingers over her wet slit. His thick fingers slowly teasing her puffed lips apart to brush over her slick clit. He pushed his thumb down hard on her throbbing clit, rubbing the nub in slow teasing circles. He kissed the corner of her jawline, reaching up with his free hand to squeeze firmly to one of her beautiful breasts. He groaned against her neck as he worked his thumb quicker over her clit. As much as Sam loved to tease her, he wanted to taste her and bring her pleasure. His mouth moved down to her collarbone slowly traveled his lips lower down her torso as he dropped to his knees. He stopped his movements long enough to pull the rest of her pants and underwear off, jerking her forward a little as he did. He looked up to look at her giving her a grin, he could literally smell her arousal from where he was, and it was making his dick twitch. He growled against her hips, he moving his mouth right in front of her hot cunt. His tongue flicked out, grazing it over her damp slit. “Mmm.” He licked his lips, savoring the sweet taste of her juices.

Mercedes: could only manage a small scoff as he whispered into her neck. “Me?” she breathed, her words being cut off by his hand in between her legs. Her eyes instantly closed at his teasing fingers and she reached over to grip the corner of the elevator, her head against the wall. She let out a small hiss, trying her hardest not to fidget, but soon failing as his thumb started to move faster. Hearing him groan in her ear damn near made her knees give out as she tried to catch her breath. “Oh god,” she breathed, licking her lips. She could feel him moving down her body, his lips kissing a trail down until he pulled her jeans fully off. She knew what he was going to do but she didnt think he was actually going to do it until she felt his warm tongue right where she wanted him most. She gasped, her hand sliding off the wall and landing in Sam’s hair, gripping it tightly. “Shhh,” she hissed, her eyes fluttering open and closed. “Dont… stop…”

Sam: Listening to Mercedes moan, letting out a sigh each time his tongue and finger touched her clit, made Sam’s dick twitch hard in his pants. He groaned deep in his chest when her fingernails pulled his hair . She could get as rough as she wanted with him. He locked up at her as he continue to pleasure her with his mouth drinking in the sight of the woman, writhing above him, her breasts rising up and down with her panted breaths. His calloused thumb was still rubbing her damp clit in fast, vigorous circles. He didn’t want to stop as he watched her glistening arousal glaze over her warm folds. Sam grinned hearing Mercedes’ rushed out words of don’t stop, enjoying every little sound she was making from his touch. He leaned in closer, breathing hotly over her pussy before his tongue licked both sides of her puffy lips. He wanted to tell her how amazing she tastes, how after all these years he still couldn’t get enough of her. But Sam knew if he stopped or try to tease her Mercedes would get annoyed. He finally slipped a thick digit into her entrance. “Fuck…” He groaned as she tighten around his finger. He slowed the rough circles on her clit, now taking his time to push the swollen bud back and forth while he thrusted his finger deep into her wet heat.

Mercedes: felt feverish. Her body shivered quickly, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she let out a few strangled moans and dug her fingers through his hair. She let out a small gasp at the introduction of his fingers, her desperation growing. They were going to fuck in this elevator unless one of them stopped it and frankly, she didn’t want to stop it. She bit down on her bottom lip and moved her hips in sync with his fingers. “Ugh,” she groaned, feeling her orgasm building. She adjusted a bit, to feel more and winced when Sam’s fingers hit her spot.

Sam: slid his hands up to Mercedes’ thighs, feeling her them shaking against his cheeks, as he continue to work her over with his mouth and his tongue. She had to be close to her climax just from the way she was loudly moaning. Sounding as if she was going to burst in any minute. He moved his head away from her pussy, adding a second fingers into her entrance, looking up to watch her as he increased his fingers, making a come here motion. Sam wanted to make Mercedes crash hard into her orgasm. He knew that the security would eventually see that the elevator isn’t working and will more likely call from the speaker. But he didn’t care he wanted to finish each at he started. While he kept moving his fingers in and out of her tight hole, he took one of her leg with his free hand, resting them over his shoulders so he could have better access to her pussy. He sucked roughly on her throbbing clit, grinding his face between her slick folds holding her tight so she would fall over. He was going to make her cum first with his mouth, hand and then he was going to make her cum with his dick.

Mercedes: arched off the wall once her leg was draped over his shoulder. Her breathing became labored and she stared up at the ceiling of the elevator, blinking quickly as her orgasm crept up her spine. The faster his mouth and fingers moved, the closer she got to falling over the edge. She hissed as he sucked roughly on her clit. “G-gentle,” she inhaled, finding her breathing become shakier and shakier before she tumbled over the edge with a slow howl. “Oooohhh,” she cried, dropping her head.

Sam: couldn’t help but chuckle against Mercedes clit at her words, removing his mouth from her, letting his fingers bring her over the edge. He thrust a few more hard strokes into her pussy, smirking as she hit her orgasm head on “good girl” he whispered. He pulled his wet fingers from her tight hole, dipped his fingers into his mouth, sucking her arousal clean off his fingers. “Mmm.” He licked his lips gently putting her leg down, standing up completely.. While Mercedes was coming down from her high, Sam unzipped his pants, pulling it down along with his boxers. He wanted to ask her if she was okay but he knew that would be a stupid question and that it would ruin the moment they were having. So he simply moved closer to her and without saying a word, he wrapped her leg around his waist using his free hand to wrap around his dick holding it at her entrance. He kissed her lips softly, moving his hips back a bit before thrusting his dick deep into her “shit!” He growled against her cheek. He could feel her walls clenching around his member already. He slid his hands to her ass, squeezing hard as he lifted her off her feet.. He pressed her back to the elevator wall as he began thrusting hard into her into her.

Mercedes: felt like she was floating and the only thing that brought her back was Sam’s lips on hers. She breathed sharply through her nose as he entered her unexpectedly. Her body sang as they connected, his warm breath on her cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her feet left the ground and swirled her hips in match to his. Every time they were together it just felt like it got better and better and while she wanted to come once more, the rails on the elevator were digging into her back and distracting her. “Wait,” she breathed, climbing out of his arms. She was silent as she spun around and brushed her hair over her shoulder. She took his hands and placed them on her waist, lightly bending over.

Sam: was so wrapped up in the feel of Mercedes pussy wrapped around his dick that he didn’t even hear her tell him to hold on. It was only until she climbed out of his arms that he realize that something was wrong. He gently pulled out of her as she turned around, adjusting herself before grabbing his hands to place them on her hips. He moved closer to her, bending his legs as he entered inside of her once again. Sam pumped his hips hard against her bare skin, thrusting forward into her heat. He hold on to her tightly, jerking her forward and then back onto his dick. He groaned in pleasure each time she sucked him back into her warmth. “shit” he muttered.

Mercedes: licked her lips and closed her eyes, her hands clutching the rail of the elevator as she used it for balance. A moan escaped her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut even more, her breath shaky with ecstasy. Her body was already buzzing and she knew it wouldn’t be long before she completely fell apart. Just as the thought crossed her mind she felt her thighs tighten instinctively before she dropped her head with a growl. “Fuck!” she hissed. This was dirty and wrong but she liked the way she felt. She wouldn’t admit it But being Sam’s dirty little secret was better to her than being nothing to him at all.

Sam: squeezed Mercedes waist harder when a loud moan escaped from her soft lips as he continue to fuck her from behind. His dick felt so good buried in her pussy, hugged tightly by her smooth walls as he pumped in and out of them. His hips jerked into hers faster on instinct. He a loud grunt came out of his mouth. “SHIT” he groaned running his hand up Mercedes’ body cupping around her throat. Sam raising her up to where her back was against his chest, kissing down her her neck, nipping at her skin as he did. Sam couldn’t help but think about the fact that he was engaged to be married yet here he was having sex with his ex fiancée. Being with Mercedes yet again in this was was a reminder that with her he always felt an unparalleled closeness to her, holding her securely against his body like this, their bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle. And some would ask if this is the perfect for him why doesn’t he just end this and be with Mercedes. Hell he was thinking the same thing. But then he remembered exactly why that could never happened. He couldn’t allow himself to go back down that road with Mercedes. Especially with his habits of always hurting her, unintentionally, but still some way he hurts her. He was pulled out of his thoughts from the feel of Mercedes leaning back on his dick “fuck” he huffed moving his hips at faster place, pushing her harder on his dick. The way she would go down his dick at a fast pace, tightening around him tightly caused a loud whimper “Cedes”he breathed hard against her skin. Sam could tell from the way she was moaning loudly that she was so close to her orgasm and if he was truly honestly he was too. But he was trying to hold on, long enough for her to cum first. But if she kept pumping her hips harder against him, he was going to lose.

Mercedes: could feel her hair covering her face as she dropped her head I’m pleasure. She moaned and writhed against Sam, her legs shaking as she pushed back against him. Her breathing was shaky and her heart was pounding as she got closer and closer to her release. She breathed Sam’s name and could feel her toes curl in her shoes as they continued to move in sync. She couldnt allow herself to think about how wrong this was or how she had lowered herself enough to have sex with her engaged ex in a stalled out elevator. All she wanted to think about was how Sam made her feel and right now he made her feel good.

Sam: moaned loudly feeling the constant, intense squeezing rhythms of Mercedes’ pussy around his dick made his green eyes roll back underneath his lids. Pumping his hips more diligently against hers, his orgasm was quickly approaching and he didn’t think he was gonna be able to hold back much longer. He ran his hand down Mercedes’s body until it reached her clit, running his thick fingers down her slit. He massaged her clit at the same paced of their hips, letting out a long heavy sigh. The pressure building between his legs, was more than he could bare at this point . He used is free hand to hold on to the rails of the elevator “fuck!” He choked out.

Mercedes: felt herself finally tumble over the edge as his fingers gingerly teased her. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her throat felt hoarse from moaning and her skin felt prickly from the heat coming off of her. She let out a screech and felt her body go limp as warmth burst from the center of her body all the way to her fingertips.

Sam: continued to massage her clit, while moving his dick deeper inside of her. It only took a few more thrusts before he slammed his lids closed and bucked his hips hard against her’s,cumming right along with her . “Fuuck!” He growled, leaning his body against hers, panting hard against her skin.

Mercedes: dropped her hands from the wall and felt her body go still as Sam finally came. Her head felt light and she wondered if maybe she was floating. This was what she always wanted to feel. She wanted to be close to Sam, to feel safe in his arms and floating. And if that meant being with him while he was engaged to someone else, then so be it. She’d spent her entire life doing what other people wanted her to do and right now, she was going to do what she wanted for once. She said she was going to take control of her life in 2017 and she was actually going to do it now. She wanted Sam and if this was the only way she could have him then so be it. She slowly stood up, her legs feeling like jelly. She really wished she’d thought this threw and brought a napkin because she was honestly a mess. It was worth it though just to have this moment with the man she loved. She pulled up her jeans, not bothering to buckle them and sighed, leaning against the wall. “God,” she breathed running a hand through her hair. “I guess you can say you had sex somewhere weird now.”

Sam: stood there for a seconded as he collected himself. He silently told himself that he knew he couldn’t stop sleeping with Mercedes, even though he knew he was wrong and that he should end it. But he loved her and at this point he was addicted and he couldn’t stop what they were doing. He sighed, stepping back a bit so he could pull his boxers and pants up, leaning down to grab his shirt. He chuckled nervously at her comment, buttoning up his shirt, tucking the hem inside of his pants “Yeah I guess so”.

Mercedes: watched Sam get dressed and bit down in her bottom lip. “Do you hate me now?” she whispered, feeling herself shake nervously. She hated how she constantly feared his rejection or that one day he’d end whatever they were doing, especially now that she felt so vulnerable. She knew she wanted him, even if he wasnt fully hers, she’d take it. But she didn’t know what he wanted. She never really knew what he wanted. “I’m not asking you to run away with me or something stupid like that but… I need you…”

Sam: was getting ready to fix his tie but stopped what he was doing, when she asked him if he hated her. He locked eyes with hers for the longest time and he hated that she wouldn’t even think for a second that he would hate her. He walked closer to her, running his fingers through her hair “Don’t ever ask me that again” he said softly shaking his head “I-I could never hate you Cedes.” He said honestly. He wanted so badly just to tell her how he felt about her, how much in love he was with her and how he never stopped loving her no matter how hard he tried. But she deserved better, but yet he couldn’t 100% let her go. He smiled sadly as she spoke, thinking what life would be like if they just picked up everything and left this life behind because right now it sounded like the best life ever. His heart was pounding so fast when she told him that she needed him. He looked deep into her brown eyes,“I-I need you too..” he whispered, running his thumb a crossed her beautiful face.

Mercedes: let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as Sam touched her face and nodded at his words. It was a relief to know he wasn’t going to fight this. Whatever ‘this’ was. “Good,” she smiled softly. “If you want… I mean if you can. You should come over tonight? Sammy misses you.”

Sam: returned the smile and nodded “Well I usually sleep at the gallery on this day, just because I have to be there so early the tomorrow. But I can stay with you tonight.. I miss Sammy too and plus I want to be near you.” he said honestly, leaning down to kiss her lips.

Mercedes: smiled, standing on the tips of her toes to return the kiss. “Good because I was using Sammy as an excuse. I’ll even make dinner,” she said, earning a look. They both knew she couldn’t cook. “Okay I’ll order take away. Besides, you’ll need your energy.” She kissed him once more and licked her lips. “We should stop hogging the elevator. I’m sure people have been waiting for it.. And I have to get back to running my errands. Not all of us are big shot CEOs.”

Sam: squinted his eyes at her playfully “Should have known you would use our dog against me.” he chuckled against her lips, running his hands up and down her shoulder. “mmm that sounds really nice and I can’t wait..” he said returning the last kiss. He sighed dramatically, as he stood back, reaching over to press the button. “It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.” he winked, jerk forward a little as the elevator moved down.

Mercedes: rolled her eyes playfully and reveled in the last few seconds they would spend together in this elevator before taking a step back. “You better delete the footage from the cameras,” she nodded towards the ceiling before raising a brow seductively. “Or use it…” The elevator doors opened when they got to the ground floor and Mercedes picked up her bag and adjusted her jeans and shirt. “I’ll see you later Mr. Evans,” she smiled, giving him a nod and walking off of the elevator and into the lobby.

#Para:Say no to this #dyfam rp #Samcedes #Samcedes rp