#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

literaila · 2 years

Text

just barely

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary:

“okay, peter. are you afraid of spiders?” “no.” “then can you go get the one in my apartment?”

warnings: angst, grief, mentions of gwen, arachnophobia, fluff. neighbors au.

a/n: i am. so sorry. and actually i love this one so much so feed my ego, thanks

peter met you four months into college.

sitting in his apartment, sewing up a suit that he should've gotten rid of years ago. pricking his fingers with the needle and telling himself that he was going to be more careful this time.

he never was.

and when you knocked on his door for the first time, he pricked his finger again.

he almost swore out loud--flinging his hand in the air like the pain was going to fall off--but briefly remembered how thin the walls were.

maybe because he could hear you breathing on the other side.

it was late. peter always knew when it was late.

and it was raining. he was inside because it was raining.

and someone was knocking on his door.

peter, with his finger in his mouth, sucking away the very essence of his life and every ounce of patience he had, did not want to deal with it.

he didn't quite feel like a human being that night.

and besides, if it wasn't someone delivering a pizza to his door--no, he didn't order but he might pay if that was the case--peter didn't want to know.

and then there was another knock.

so peter, begrudgingly, sliding on a jacket because he was only in sweatpants, went to the door.

just barely sighed as he swung it open.

and there you stood. dripping from the rain.

"hi," you said, the word quick, breathless, like an afterthought. "we haven't met. i'm y/n. i moved in two weeks ago. i've seen you carrying books around and coming in late sometimes but i haven't--" you took a breath in. shook your head. "nevermind. my point is, i'm y/n."

peter stood there. unsure what to say. he barely took it all in.

he stared at you and your shaking hands and dripping hair.

he wondered how you got on his doorstep.

"okay," you said, in lack of an answer. "this is really weird. you probably think i'm crazy. which was... not my goal."

"i don't think you're--"

"i have arachnophobia."

peter blinked.

"and it sounds crazy--because it is--but there's a spider in my apartment and i just--i can't. i'm cold, and i just got home from work, and there's a spider, like, right by the door, and i can't get it. or walk through the door." you paused, staring at him with wide eyes. "because i'm crazy."

in a lack of words or any description for this situation, peter ran a hand over his jaw.

he watched water drip from your hair. drip on the ground.

you blinked at him. "you have a cut on your thumb, by the way."

peter looked at his hand. clenched his fist until it was so tight that pain meant nothing but a blur of emotion.

"oh," he said, stupidly, unknowing. "yeah, i know."

you cleared your throat. "what's your name?"

"peter."

"okay, peter. are you afraid of spiders?"

he might've laughed at the irony, if not given the fact that any conversation skills--that he may or may not have had--seemed to evade him.

"no," he shook his head. "no--i, um. no."

you breathed out, laughing a bit manically. "would you help me with the spider in my apartment then? i'm sorry to bother you, really, but i would like to change my clothes."

"oh," he said, again, stupidly. "sure. sure."

"you will?"

he shook his head. tried to put on a smile that didn't exist. "yeah, of course."

the words were slow and slurred and nothing like he'd meant them to be.

peter, just barely, recognized the fact that you were his age. that you were pretty.

and that you looked almost insane. like you'd said.

"thank you," you breathed out in relief. "do you want to... um, put some shoes on first? if you're busy i can--"

"probably shouldn't try anyone else," peter responded, assuming and stupid, and just. "it's three in the morning. i don't think they're awake."

you opened your mouth, maybe to say something--peter couldn't tell--and then shut it.

you stared at him like you were sure he was lying.

like you were annoyed with him.

he cleared his throat, walking forward a bit, and simultaneously pushing you back. "i don't need my shoes. uh, lead the way."

he shut the door quietly behind him.

you nodded. taking ten steps forward to the apartment right across from his.

"you live right there?"

while unlocking the door, you nodded your head. water dripping onto your shoes.

peter briefly considered that he was an asshole.

"why haven't i seen you before?"

you looked back at him, swallowing. "i usually work night shifts. um, i mean, i've seen you before, so."

peter nodded his head dumbly.

and then you took a step back, staring at him.

expectedly.

"oh, you want me to go first?"

"please."

so peter walked through, searching the floors for any specimen that he may or may not have been related to.

you just barely followed behind him. slightly lagging.

"where was it?"

"the wall in the back. it was big."

peter looked back at you, a bit concerned by how nervous you looked just from walking through the door.

"i don't see it."

peter looked up and down the walls. followed his feet to the floor, making sure that he hadn't stepped on anything.

and this is the point where he figured that he'd leave. let you get back to your business.

maybe think about being more cordial to his neighbors.

but you just barely said his name. quiet against the rain.

he looked at you. "hmm?"

"this is ridiculous, but, would you just--just look for it. like. in the other room. i won't be able to fall asleep, and--"

peter was quick to nod. "yeah. i got it."

and so he searched through your living room. feeling only slightly weird that he was looking through a stranger's house, while said stranger stood right at the doorway.

but after around three minutes, he noticed a spider crawling on the opposite side of the wall. about an inch big.

but he wasn't judging.

"okay," he called to you, allowing the bug to crawl up his hand. "i got it."

"the window doesn't have a screen."

peter allowed himself a quick laugh--because, above all else, this was the weirdest three am he'd had in a while--and let the spider crawl outside, whispering a quick goodbye.

and then he walked back to you, scratching at his thumb.

you awkwardly thanked him, reaching your hand out to shake his.

when peter stared for a moment, confused, you dropped it.

and then you waited.

and peter probably should've just left your apartment.

that was what a considerate neighbor might do.

"you're really that afraid of spiders?"

"um, yeah," you shook your head, scratched at the back of your neck, and looked more uncomfortable than peter had ever seen another person. "it's--it's a feeling thing."

peter tilted his head, curious.

"well, like, just imagining them crawling around. or up and down my skin." you shivered, and peter assumed it wasn't from the cold. "i mean, i know that most spiders can't do any harm."

peter coughed.

"but still... it's hard to explain."

"no," peter nodded, watching as your eyes fluctuated from the wall to him, from the ground to the ceiling. "i understand. they're creepy."

"i guess. i know that they're important. thanks for not killing that one."

peter just barely blinked.

"well," you said, smiling at him. "you should go to sleep. i'm sorry for keeping you up."

"it's no problem." peter swore.

he'd forgotten all about the rain. or his suit. or the tiny little cut on his thumb.

"have a good night, peter. thanks for your help."

you smiled at him--this time, sincere and appreciative--one last time.

peter met you four months into college. he'd whispered his goodbyes in the rain and was unfathomably interested in his neighbor.

and maybe he'd always known that he was going to fall in love with you.

"hey," you whisper, late enough for the words to feel strange on his spine.

"hey," he says back, but only because it's what he should do.

you run your fingers along his forearm, leaving terror in your wake.

"how are you?"

you ask him.

and peter can't really answer that.

when peter saw you again, it was with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

with papers and the weight of thousands of dollars in debt piling up in one bag that probably shouldn't have been carrying it all.

but when you smiled at him, peter shrugged it off, and just smiled back.

"hey," you said, quickly and carefully, unlocking your door. "how are you?"

"good." peter nodded. "um, you?"

you laughed, maybe because of the long pause between the words. "i'm okay. it's nice to be out with the sun."

"yeah. haven't seen you around."

"not like you did before, either."

peter nodded again. his eyebrows were ready to run right off of his face.

you were carrying bags in your hands, one on the ground, turning back around to your door because peter hadn't offered anything significant to you.

so he cleared his throat. "did you--do you want some help?"

you looked down at the ground, seemingly surprised by your own grocery bags. "oh, yeah." eyes met his. "i don't want to bother you again."

"it's no bother."

and so peter picked up the bag on the ground. he reached his hand out and barely felt it when your fingers passed his.

or when you smiled at him, grateful again.

"i don't mean to keep using you," you said to him, finally unlocking your door. "you just seem to be there."

"it's only twice."

you nodded, moving back so that he could walk in. "for now."

peter snorted, feeling uncomfortable as his shoes hit your carpet.

"i like your apartment, by the way. it's nice."

more trinkets than his. a home full of things that peter didn't recognize.

and still, it was brighter than his apartment.

you lead him into the kitchen, pointing to where he should set the bags down.

peter could feel your eyes on him. sort of creeping. sort of subdued in a casual way.

"thanks. i like it," you answer. "or, i like it when there aren't any bugs crawling around."

peter let his lips twitch. he moved back, giving you the room to start putting the perishables away.

"are you always getting pulled into everyone else's apartments?" you asked him, biting your lip and looking up.

your eyes were quick, lit, and less emphasized than they'd been when it was three in the morning.

peter frowned. "what?"

"yesterday i helped someone move a couch into their apartment. and last week mrs. rivers needed some help with her tv. i just meant that you seem helpful. dependable." you shrugged. "do people ask you for help a lot?"

"no, not really," peter answered, words still confused. "i don't 'run into' people very often. and i don't think they would ask me."

you blinked, closing a cabinet and turning away from him.

"why not?"

"i don't know anyone very well."

peter breathed out and you hummed, unbagging things that peter couldn't see.

"sometimes mr. smith from down the hall asks me to water his plants when he goes to see his son."

you nodded, like this made perfect sense to you.

"but that's about it."

"how long have you lived here?"

"almost five months."

"hmm."

you emptied another bag, not watching as peter leaned against your counter.

he felt like he should go. that he was intruding on some boundary that he shouldn't have been.

but he stayed because you hadn't asked him to leave.

"what?" he asked, shaking his head.

"are you a busy person?"

in this game of twenty questions, peter seemed to be answering everything.

and ignoring the gentle curiosity aimed his way.

to complain would be hypocritical.

"i guess. school and work. why?"

you shrugged, again. "that's probably why you don't know your neighbors. if you're not here a lot..."

peter crossed his arms. there was something in your tone of voice. something in your eyes and strange way of speaking.

"i know my neighbors."

you just barely smiled. "yeah?"

"yeah. you're y/n. you've lived here four weeks, and you're afraid of spiders."

you laughed. "that doesn't count."

peter frowned. licked his lips and let the adrenaline control any next statement.

"mr. smith lives in 3C. he's got two kids. if you listen late enough at night you can hear him calling his son in florida."

you looked at him again, pausing.

so peter continued.

"ms. baker is divorced. she got the cat, which is good because she loves that cat more than life itself. she makes brownies and then leaves them to rot on her windowsill. or she used to. until she started leaving them in the mail room."

you laughed. leaned against the counter next to him and crossed your ankles.

"david, the building manager, loves halloween. if he could, he would decorate the whole place. but it's a fire hazard, so he just decorates the laundry room."

"isn't that a fire hazard too?"

peter considered it. "probably."

you laughed again.

"the girl in 6B, moira, is a single mom. her daughter doesn't like thunderstorms, so she's always crying. unless moira swaddles her and puts on old sixties music. and mrs. alvera gets flowers every week. jason blasts music on the weekends but no one complains because everyone is scared of him."

peter continued. he wasn't thinking about leaving.

"there's a little boy down the hall, henry, who loves trains. his dad sends him some in the mail. mr. johnson has a dog who he hates."

and there's something in your eyes.

peter breathed out, chest a bit tight. he'd never been very good at defeat.

"so," he said.

"so?"

"so i know my neighbors."

you smiled at him. turned towards the fridged and grabbed two water bottles, one to offer to him.

he took it, but only for something to do with his hands.

"and you're peter," you say, slowly.

"parker."

"peter parker. you're always coming and going at odd times. you're a student--probably at esu--and you're nice."

and then peter smiled. he was willing to admit that.

"what're you doing?" you ask him, stepping into the room and dropping your bag on the floor.

peter barely flinches at the sound.

he blinks up at the clock, noticing numbers that he should have an hour ago.

"hey," he says, dumbly. "you're home."

you lean down to kiss his head. he can feel your smile. "yeah. what're you doing?"

"just fixing some holes."

peter gestures down to the suit. looks up at you and tries not to falter at your eyes.

you’re staring at him.

you look tired, had been at work all day, and still--you offered him a smile.

the same sweet smile he'd been getting for a year and a half.

"don't hurt yourself," you whisper to him, laughing just a bit.

peter looks down at the needle between his fingers.

he barely just caught the joke as you walk out of the room to go change into your work clothes.

and theres the tiniest part of him that feels relieved for the silence.

relieved to not have to stare at you.

and face the goddamn reality.

peter had been getting used to the knocks on his door.

he recognized your specific weight, the sequences, and cadence in whatever you needed from him.

and he wasn't as hesitant to open the door.

"hey, peter," you said to him, a bit breathless. "do you have a wrench?"

peter blinked. "what?"

you made a strange hand gesture. "you know, the thing that you twist stuff with?"

peter's brow furrowed. he opened the door a little bit more, noticing your wet pants and the lack of shoes or socks.

"i know what a wrench is," he said. "why do you need it?"

"sink's leaking."

his lips pursed. he waited for more of an explanation, but you offered him none.

"yeah," he said, finally. "i have a wrench. come in."

and then he swung the door open and left you to fend with it yourself.

and listened to your footsteps as you followed him to his supply closet.

"i don't think i've ever been in here," you said from behind him, voice echoing in his empty hallway. "not what i expected."

peter looked back at you with a raised brow.

you raised your hands in defense. "you seem like a poster kind of guy."

"there's a poster in my room."

"of what?"

"a spider."

you scoffed from behind him, and peter had to pay close attention to his face--just so that he didn't laugh back.

he dug through his shelves, looking for a tool kit that he'd hidden away.

unused, because he didn't want it.

because he didn't need it anymore.

"here," he said, handing you the wrench, initials branded on the side.

"why thank you, peter parker."

you smiled up at him, a mark on the side of your face--peter couldn't tell what it was.

"sure," he agreed, shutting the closet behind him. "why don't you just call maintenance?"

"hmm?"

"for your sink."

"oh, um. well, i need to use it. and it's almost six so there's no time to call."

"do you know how to fix a sink?" peter allowed a cautious raise of his brow. a curiosity that he wasn't really allowed appeared in his throat, swallowed right back down by guilt.

"i know how to use google."

"so no."

you raised a finger at him, looking defensive. "it can't be that hard."

peter laughed.

"what?"

"i hope that your apartment doesn't flood."

"mean, peter," you frowned at him. "i could have a talent for fixing sinks."

and then you turned around, leaving him no room to argue, and headed for the door. calling another thank you as you opened it.

but peter opened his mouth before you could leave.

"why didn't you ask?"

you turned back, wide eyes. "what?"

"if i could help. you didn't ask."

"can you fix a sink?"

"yes."

peter would've liked to lie. maybe if you had been any other person, he might've.

you grinned. "i've already used you enough. i'm working on my dependency."

peter shrugged. "never hurts to ask."

your lip twitched the barest amount.

you played with his wrench, swinging it from hand to hand. "i'll bring this back."

"okay."

peter let the interest fall off of his shoulders and onto the ground.

he had things he needed to do. like, putting a cup of mac and cheese into the microwave.

and read for his class tomorrow.

and consider every failure he'd ever made.

but you called his name, just once more.

"yeah?" he opened the door, a little bit wider.

"wanna help me fix my sink?"

peter, now, considers that you might've been pitying him. poor peter, all alone on a saturday night.

but then he just blindly nodded.

forgot all about consequences.

"peter, you can't just get ice cream."

peter looks down at his shopping bag. he frowns. "there's chips too."

"where are the meals?"

he smiles at you. "in your basket."

"we already agreed that i'm not cooking for you anymore."

peter pretends to consider this. "you know, i actually changed my mind about that. statistically, you probably won't burn down my apartment again."

"statistically, i'm going to hit you one of these days."

peter holds a hand to his heart, mock offended. "violence," he protests, taking a step back as you try and push him.

"go get something to eat."

"i'm going to eat all of this."

"okay," you grin at him. "go get something that you probably won't eat."

peter groans. this time, you actually push him.

"we'll order pizza tonight if you get some actual groceries."

"why are you always nagging me?"

peter says it, but with a smile on his face.

you laugh back at him. pat his cheek like you're his grandmother. "go."

peter sighs and listens.

and it's fine. for today.

surely enough, peter couldn't manage to avoid you.

it might've been that you lived right across from him. peter realized that.

or it might've been the world, laughing and laughing at him.

because he really wanted to avoid you.

he wanted to stop answering the door; to keep you at a safe distance--that being ten feet away from him at all times--with a wall between the two of you.

he wanted whatever he felt when he saw you smile--which was nothing, he swore to himself, over and over--hidden in a closet somewhere.

someplace that he could just forget about it.

but he couldn't seem to forget his neighbor.

his neighbor who, like always, seemed to leave the house at the same time as him.

"oh, hi," he said, carefully avoiding running into you.

you looked up, hands cradling a pizza box, bag dangling from the side. and you smiled at him.

because you were a smiley person.

peter hated it.

"hey, neighbor," you said, easily, stepping past him. "going out?"

peter swallowed. "just to the store. i need some... salt."

what he really needed was to get out of the house.

what he needed was to stop going through the pictures under his bed this late at night, and stop allowing himself to feel any sort of adoration for the girl in them.

what he needed, peter thought, was a reality check.

a time machine.

but he wasn't going to tell you any of that.

"salt?" you repeated, laughing. "i have salt."

"no, i need, like, a salt shaker. a big one."

your brows furrowed.

peter rubbed his hands together, slightly cold. slightly irritated.

and guilty, because he hadn't wanted to be rude to you. he wanted to be polite, a gentleman like may taught him.

but time did strange things to people.

and he'd been living alone for more than half a year.

"the grocery store is probably closed by now," you said, checking an invisible watch.

"i'm just going to the cvs down the block."

you laughed. "i don't think they have salt shakers."

he scratched at the back of his neck. considered clawing his own eyes out.

"you can borrow mine, though," you said to him, softly, as if no one else was supposed to hear. "if you're in a pinch."

"no," peter shook his head. he repeated the word in his mind until it was branded against his skin. "that's... okay."

you raised a brow.

"i don't--i'm not, like, using it, right now. i've just been meaning to pick some up. and i don't have anything to do right now, so."

if peter could go back and tell himself not to say a single thing, he would've.

he would tell himself never to speak to you ever again.

but you laughed because peter was funny. because you felt bad for him, in some strange, uncomfortable way.

"do you have anything to do tomorrow morning?"

peter shook his head. still.

"then why don't i give you enough salt for breakfast tomorrow, and then you can go to the store and get a shaker afterward."

peter swallowed. "i wouldn't want to... impose."

"i'll even give you a slice of pizza."

"that's okay."

"peter," you sighed, almost begrudgingly. "c'mon. i owe you, at least one. and i can't eat a whole pizza myself."

he bit the inside of his cheek.

if there were warning bells, he would hear them clearly in his ear.

"or, i can," you smiled. "but i probably shouldn't. and you probably shouldn't go out this late."

peter frowned at the implication.

"it's okay," he said. "you shouldn't--"

"you don't even have to stay. just come and get some salt."

peter's eyes flickered down to the pizza box in your hands.

he thought about being alone.

about going back into his room and running into memories that would punch him right in the face.

that would beat him until he couldn't feel anything else.

he thought about salt.

about your smile and how much he wanted to stay away.

he thought way too much.

but nodded anyway.

probably because he was an idiot.

"lead the way," you said, finally opening the door.

and peter went.

"come on," you say to him, voice soft and haunted.

quiet and eery.

and peter doesn't want to.

he doesn't want to be close to you right now.

but your hands are soft against his shoulder, warm and welcoming, and he knows that you're waiting. he knows that you don't deserve this.

he knows you.

"peter," you say to him, calling and calling. "it's alright."

your voice is different.

not as smooth. not as beautiful.

"come back to bed."

peter lets your hands lead the way.

he lets you pull him down, push him under water and sit on his chest. laugh as he struggles to get up.

he lets you wrap the covers back around his back, saving him from the cold.

he cuddles close to you, breathing in your skin, cheek on your chest, listening to your heartbeat until it's the only thing he can hear.

"it's okay," you say. "it'll be okay."

and he knows you're lying.

peter is familiar with the concept.

with breaking the rules until no glue can help repair them.

and he hears a very specific gasp in his head. a pleading and crying and dying all over again.

but your heartbeat is right in his ear.

your words are close to him, holding him down.

"i swear to god--" you kicked at a rock somewhere on the ground.

peter blinked, trying to get his eyes to focus.

"--i'm going to murder someone."

he squinted at you, trying to see anyone else. held his jacket even closer to his body.

"hey," he whispered, hand jerking out when you startled at the sound of his voice. "sorry," he said, keeping you steady. he could see his breath in the air.

"peter. was it you?" your voice had a hint of an edge. your eyes were fire.

he frowned. "what?"

"did your smoke detector go off?"

"no," he shook his head, looking back at the building. "i was asleep."

"okay." you nodded, seeming to believe his lie. "i'm going to go ask everyone else."

peter kept his hands on your shoulders, holding you back. "woah," he said, looking into your eyes. "what's the rush?"

"i'm going to punch whoever was burning down their kitchen at four in the morning."

"i think maybe you should take some deep breaths."

you mocked inhaling and exhaling. "there. mr. smith!" you called.

peter clasped a hand over your mouth.

you glared at him. speaking against his hand.

peter quickly moved away, trying to remember himself. trying to remember that he was only three feet away from you.

which breaks the foundation directly in half.

he raised a brow, a bit amused, slightly delirious from exhaustion. "you should stay here. it'll only be ten minutes till we can go back inside."

"who starts a fire at four in the morning?" you whine to him, almost falling against his chest.

his hands go back on your arms, keeping you up. "an asshole," peter agreed. "were you asleep?"

"no. i got home thirty minutes ago."

"ah. were you trying to go to sleep?"

"i was trying to..." you paused, looking away from him. "nevermind. yes. i was sleeping."

peter laughed. "okay. you can get back to..." he shakes his head, an allusion. "whenever the fire department shows up."

"it's cold," you complain to him. "and i didn't have any time to put on my shoes."

"i'm glad you're alive."

that night, peter avoided his sensibility. he didn't want to talk to it, thanks.

he took off his jacket, handing it to you. "here."

"peter. you'll get cold."

"you're in shorts. put it on."

because you were fed up with every other thing, you didn't argue. just hurried to put it on, snuggling into your own skin.

"thanks."

"no problem."

it was silent for a moment; no sirens in hearing distance.

other people had gathered into groups, neighbors gossiping about neighbors.

peter thought that you might've been one of them if you weren't stuck next to him.

"bad night?" he asked you, avoiding the silence.

"what?"

"i've never seen you... angry? irritated?"

"oh." you looked down to the ground, a bit sheepish. maybe embarrassed. peter couldn't see your eyes, so he couldn't tell. "yeah. i worked two shifts in a row. and it's tuesday, so everyone was mad."

"where do you work?"

"a bar a couple of blocks away."

peter nodded.

"sorry about..." you laugh, gesturing to something he couldn't see. "all of that."

"it's okay. you're tired."

"yeah."

so was peter.

and he was insane because he really couldn't stop looking at you. he couldn't even have an internal debate about it.

"peter?" you whispered to him, smiling a little bit.

"what?"

"your jacket smells nice."

peter listens to you speak, appreciating the gentle smile in your voice.

he watches as your eyes change. as your hand gestures towards something.

he watches you.

and there's no one there to tell him to stop.

this particular night, peter knocks on your door.

he'd decided, after lots of thinking, that the best way to avoid you--was to just get over himself.

was to just pretend to be a normal neighbor.

to start acting normal and stop being an idiot.

which, in all fairness, wasn't as easy as peter thought it might be.

especially when you opened the door in a big t-shirt and no pants.

but of course, you just smiled at him. didn't even blink.

"hey," peter says, quickly. "are you busy?"

your eyes met his, a gentle question behind the smirk on your face. "no. what's up?"

"i was gonna, um," peter's face twitched. he cleared his throat, trying to smile even though he'd forgotten how. "i was going to watch a movie. alone. but--" he shrugged. forgot how to speak. "i thought that you might be home. and, just, do you wanna watch with me?"

you were amused at him. but peter appreciated that you didn't laugh right in his face.

"what movie?"

he handed you the case, biting a hole in his lip.

"back to the future?"

"if you wanna watch something else, we can--"

you shake your head, handing him the case back. "no, that's good. let me go grab my phone."

and then peter had you over to his apartment for the first time.

he watched a movie with you and didn’t even feel guilty about it.

peter needs a break.

just a night, an hour, a couple of minutes away from you.

away from the possibility and the words stuck in his head.

the words that he would like to avoid.

the words that he wants to throw in a hole somewhere. bury them where no one will ever find them.

especially not you.

especially not him.

but that's not an option, see. because the words are printed on his arm. they are wrapped around his heart in a brand of shackles they don't manufacture anymore.

and peter lost the key.

so he needs a break instead.

conveniently, you're working. you kissed him goodbye, walked out the door with a smile on your face.

and peter felt so bad that he was relieved to see you go.

relieved because he doesn't want to tell you.

he doesn't want the words to slip.

he doesn't want any of this.

and he needs this break.

he needs a moment to repair his intelligence. to stop acting on a whim. to distance himself from the idea--from the guilt that pounds on his chest like a knock on his door.

he needs a break.

a break from sensibility and rational thinking.

and peter doesn't really need a break from you.

but he's taking one anyway.

he can't wait for you to come back.

"you have class tomorrow?" you asked him, chewing on a piece of popcorn.

"yeah. eleven am."

"who takes a class at eleven in the morning?"

peter frowned. "it was convenient."

you laughed at his face, throwing some popcorn at him. he caught it in his mouth and pretended not to feel some pride at your awed expression.

"this movie sucks," you said to him. but you were still watching it anyway.

you'd been sitting on his couch all day. just entertaining him with commentary about whatever movie was on cable.

peter was glad for the company.

he was trying to get out of the mood he'd been in.

trying to get comfortable in this friendship.

"we can watch something else." he moved to grab the remote, but you stopped him with a nudge of your foot.

"no," you said. "it's okay."

and so it was.

"you're going back home next weekend, right?"

peter nods. he chews on a cookie that you've just pulled out of the oven.

you glare at him, playfully.

he smiles back, mouth full.

"gross, peter." you toss a dish rag at him. he catches it without a blink.

"may asked if you wanted to come."

you blink at him, curious. "she did?"

"yeah. she likes you."

"oh, she likes me from the one time she stopped by your apartment to drop off a box and caught a glimpse of me in the hallway?" you ask him, dryly.

peter appreciates how your voice shifts from high to low. a style of music all on its own.

"she likes you because i tell her about you."

you frown. "you do?"

peter nods, curious about your reaction.

"what do you say? 'the annoying girl from across the hall asked to use my shower again because--'"

he pulls you in a little bit closer, ignoring the protests as you drop a spatula on the counter.

"i tell her that you're nice. and about your cookies."

you smile, reluctantly. "she wants me to come?"

peter nods, letting you go, returning to his cookie.

"would you mind?"

peter freezes.

he prefers not to think about it.

he prefers to pretend that there is no significance in this interaction.

because there isn't.

peter kisses the top of your head, looking down at you. he shakes his head, nonchalant.

"really?"

"i wouldn't mind."

"because i love may."

peter laughs. "i know."

"i will ask her about your baby pictures."

"don't think she has any," peter shrugs.

"oh, you liar."

he laughs again. grabbing another cookie.

"peter," you walked through his door with no greeting, going immediately to the spot on his couch that you'd claimed as your own. "i want a cat."

"you can't get a cat."

you pouted and peter laughed at your face. at the very idea you were in his house.

"why not?" you whined, sliding down his couch. "give me one reason."

"the building doesn't allow pets."

"give me two reasons."

"you'd have to leave the cat alone all day."

you smiled at him. "not if i had a co-owner."

"i'm not getting a cat with you."

you waved a hand, offended. "i didn't mean you. i meant jason."

"jason would kill the cat. then you."

"he's really nice."

peter raised a brow at you, sitting down on the couch finally, just waiting for whatever purpose there was for this visit.

"hey," you said. "don't you have work tonight?"

"i switched shifts with a coworker."

"oh. how come?"

"they had a birthday party to go to tomorrow."

you smiled at him, teeth showing. "that was nice of you."

peter shrugged. "i don't have classes this week, so."

and here, peter knew, was the last warning sign.

it was that night that he stopped caring.

"why aren't you that nice to me?" you put a bare foot on his leg, trying to get him to flinch away.

he just pushed it off of him. "because i like you."

"that's twisted, parker."

"want to watch a movie?"

you moved back, rubbing a hand over your eyes. "can we play a game or something, instead? i might fall asleep if we watch a movie."

peter frowned. "you're tired?"

"no," you shook your head at him. "not really."

"you should go to bed."

"are you kicking me out?"

and peter, despite what he wanted to say, shook his head again.

not sure what he meant by it.

and then you beamed at him.

you blinded him until he didn't care about seeing anything ever again. you broke him down until peter was sure that you were his friend.

that you were his best friend and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"how do you feel about connect four?" you asked him.

and you stayed.

peter wasn't sure how he felt about that.

gwen.

peter had nightmares every month.

he had conflicts and ideas and non-relenting feelings that wouldn't just leave him alone.

they didn't escape, even when you were around.

despite what deliberate mistakes peter kept making. despite the conscious failures he kept bundled up in his pockets.

and whatever peter wanted to feel for you.

he couldn't.

he wouldn't do that to her.

he wouldn't do that to you.

he wasn't allowed.

the first time peter kissed you, it was a mistake.

it was reckless. it was pushing and pulling at him until he was stretched thin, until he was so close to you that he couldn't think.

and peter had been thinking about it for a while.

he noticed the lingering at your lips.

he noticed how warm you were.

how intriguing how perfect.

he noticed everything about you, no matter how many times he'd told himself to stop. to stop being your friend and stop thinking about anything except being close to you.

when he kissed you, it was stupid.

it was nothing.

it was so so much.

"what?" you'd asked him, in the dark, on his couch.

he was already having a bad day. he was already too close to the edge.

he'd had a dream about you the night before. instead of her.

he'd dreamt of your skin, and your hair, the smell that you left behind when you walked out his door.

he dreamt of touching you, of being closer than he would ever dare himself to be.

and he was having a bad day.

peter shook his head. he swallowed and told himself to stop looking at you. "nothing."

so you turned away from him.

so you were still close.

and it only took a split second for peter to forget.

to forget about guilt and all of its complexities.

to allow himself to like you, for just a moment, for just a second too long.

and then his hands reached out--heart clasped in their grip--to touch your arm.

to feel your skin and savor it.

your brows furrowed. you looked at him, confused.

and peter couldn't get anything more than "i just--" before he closed the distance between the two of you.

before he slammed the door in his own face.

and kissed you.

neither of you put a name to it.

you had agreed, peter knew.

you weren't his girlfriend.

you weren't his friend.

but you stayed the night. you watched movies with him. you made out with him on his couch and it wasn't much.

it wasn't anything.

there was no name for the thing between the two of you.

and peter liked it that way.

at least then he could pretend that it was all okay.

"peter," you were trying to get him to pause.

you were trying to track him down because he hadn't talked to you in a week.

he hadn't dared to see you since that night.

"peter, hey--"

he unlocked his door, feeling the guilt pour down his stomach like gasoline.

it tasted the same.

"i just want to talk," you pleaded with him. "you don't have to say anything."

"i've gotta go," peter answered, short and stern.

"please. just two minutes."

"it's been a long day, y/n."

"it's been a long week," you hissed at him, stopping his door with your foot. "this isn't fair."

and peter knew that.

god, he was aware.

but he shook his head. "not tonight. not right now."

not ever, he thought but didn't say.

"please, peter," your eyes were desperate. your voice had softened, like maybe if you used a euphemism all of this would mean so much less.

it didn't work.

"i'm sorry," you whispered. "i didn't mean to."

peter couldn't have asked what you meant even if he wanted to.

none of this was your fault.

he had burned his own bridges. and now, amidst his own problems, he was hurting you.

so he was just going to stop.

"it doesn't have to mean anything,"

you said the words, so smoothly, so truthfully.

wide eyes, as scared as peter had seen them on the first night. he was the new spider on your wall.

"it doesn't mean anything. we can pretend it never happened."

peter might've been able to do that.

he might've been able to just pretend it was fine.

but he'd kissed you. and now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

even as you stood by his door, pleading with him. he was staring at your lips. he was waiting for that smile so he could kiss it away.

"peter. you're my best friend. i don't want to lose that."

if the words meant anything peter couldn't hear it.

"i'm sorry," he said, and he wasn't sure to who he was apologizing.

"please."

"i can't."

"i'll never bring it up again. i won't kiss you. i won't even complain when you pick out a bad movie. i just want--" you breathed out, a bit panicked.

peter could see it in your eyes.

"i just want you peter. that's all. it doesn't have to be more."

and it didn't.

he could see it in your eyes. your voice. the quick ticking of the clock in the background.

peter saw his own desperation, reflected in your eyes.

so peter opened the door. he let you inside.

and he told himself that if he kissed you again, well. it didn't have to be more than that.

peter presses his lips against yours.

he can feel your smile; leaking into him like poison. like a steady stream of toxin, infecting his blood.

but he doesn't stop.

he pushes against you, pulls you even closer.

he teases at the hair against your neck, he cradles your jaw in his fingertips, and marvels at how soft and smooth you are.

he bites down on your lip, appreciating the gasp that falls from your lips.

his hand slung around your waist, traveling up and down your back in a steady motion.

peter feels as you press against him. as you crave that distance that he's been trying his best to avoid.

he presses his lips against yours.

he does it over and over again.

and despite the gasps of air the two of you need, peter doesn't ever want to stop.

he could live there; in a blinking moment.

he applies glue to the edges, tells himself that none of it is going to fall apart.

his lips travel down to the skin of your neck. tasting you until the rest of it is a blur.

peter kisses you.

he tells himself that you don't mean anything more.

the feeling in his chest is just guilt.

"hey," you poked his shoulder. "what's wrong?"

peter blinked. tried to focus again. shook his head. "nothing."

"you look..." you tilted your head, looking right into his eyes. "concerned?" you guessed. "worried?"

"i'm fine." he grabbed your hand and kissed the knuckles.

it made up for the lie, peter was sure.

"what're you thinking about?"

"nothing."

you laughed. "peter parker, you mean to tell me that nothing is going on in that giant brain of yours?"

"nope."

and you just smiled at him. he appreciated that; you didn't press on the wound.

only stood there idly while he bleed to death.

he preferred it that way.

"are you hungry?" he asked, pulling you up from the couch with him.

"not much."

"do you want to go to the park?"

you'd been teasing him about going earlier. about sitting on a bench and staring at all the birds that walked passed.

you frowned at him. "you hate the park."

"i like the park."

"you like the pretzel cart right next to the park. you don't actually like the park."

"i can like the park if we get a pretzel."

you snorted. smiled at him, because you were happy.

because peter knew you.

because he was sure of it.

"i suppose we can arrange that," you said to him, rubbing at the skin of his palm.

and so the two of you left.

peter forgot all about it.

how he was looking at you instead of a box of pictures under his bed.

how that killed him, just a little bit.

peter paces around his apartment.

you're not there.

you're not here.

peter takes a moment to think about where you might be.

you had plans tonight.

you had things that you were supposed to be doing with him.

"dinner and a movie," you said, smiling at him as if he'd just told you a secret.

and peter smiled back because you were just that cute.

but you aren't here.

you aren't answering his calls.

and you didn't come to your door.

so peter paces around his apartment.

he waits for you to arrive, but the time spent thinking about it only allows him to overthink it.

to picture you, somewhere alone.

someplace that he won't be able to get you back.

"what's this?" you plucked the picture right off of his shelf.

you intruded on every carefully sanctioned rule peter had.

you were in his room.

and peter didn't have time to stop you before you drifted over to his bookshelf; before you unlocked a secret that he'd been struggling to keep.

you looked over to him, just curious, eyes just soft. "who's she?"

as soon as you said the words, peter knew that it couldn't have gone anyway else.

he knew that he couldn't have resolved, reflected, or kept himself from saying anything he wasn't supposed to.

like a selfish child, he grabbed the picture from your hands. he put it back on the bookshelf, reminding himself how to breathe.

he couldn't look at you to know that you were concerned.

he couldn't see beyond the boundaries that had been broken.

gwen, and gwen, and gwen.

and you.

because you were a pest on his wall.

peter breathed out. he considered stopping right then and there.

"peter?" you asked, "are you okay?"

eyes unmoving, dangling off of the edge of the world. his world.

gwen.

he looked at the picture--the one from graduation. the only one he had the heart to keep.

the only one he'd forgotten to lock away.

"peter?" you repeated, carefully, a gentle hand on his back.

as if to keep him grounded.

and that was enough.

he kicked you out of his apartment.

it was a bad night.

it was one of the nights when peter woke up in a sweat. where he panicked and fought and tried to kick his way out of any reality he lived in.

it was a night where only one image was burned into his brain.

where there was only one person to blame.

and it wasn't you.

it wasn't you when your hands grasped at his face; when you tried to bring him back down to someplace safe.

someplace where he could breathe.

bring him back to you.

it was a bad night. one of the nights when peter just forgot to breathe.

where he just forgot how to think, how to be a person instead of a shell of anger, of denial and grief and all of the things that he'd never managed to break free from.

it was a night.

another one and she still wasn't there.

he still hadn't woken up from the nightmare.

"gwen," he gasped out because he'd forgotten.

because you were there. you were right there next to him.

and you weren't supposed to be.

you were breaking the rules.

you were betrayal, knocking at his door every night, ridiculing him with every cruel word.

"peter," you say, softly, bringing him back down. reminding him of where he is.

and he breaks free.

he breaks all over again.

right into your hands.

he doesn't have a word for it, the way you look at him.

he doesn't have a firm grasp on how much he cares about you.

but he worries all day.

he worries about you, about where you are, about what you're doing.

he worries that he cares too much. that this is too far. that this means too much.

that everything has intruded on his careful nothing.

and he misses you when you're gone.

and he calls you when he gets the chance.

and he smiles at you.

doesn't know how to define the way he feels.

but it doesn't have to mean anything.

"i'm sorry," he tells you. "that wasn't fair."

you haven't said a thing.

you haven't pushed him, having kept your eyes from handing him a letter of resignation.

i can't do this anymore, you say, with just your eyes.

"i'm sorry," peter repeats.

"what do you want, peter?"

he shakes his head. he contemplates the idea until he forgets where he is.

"i don't know," he says. "i don't--i'm not sure."

"well, i am."

the words are short.

they are the end of an end.

peter watches you, waiting for you to leave him--knowing that you'll only hurt him this once.

that this feeling won't drift into another decade.

two years of knowing you, he thinks. two years of this.

"i can't do this anymore, peter."

he hears you but doesn't understand.

he thinks but draws no obvious conclusions.

"i'm sorry," he whispers.

he doesn't know what he's sorry for.

"god," you scoff at him.

a reprimand is thrown against the wall. it ricochets back into his chest, tearing his heart out. reminding him of the things he’s done, again and again.

he kicked you out.

he threw you away.

he pushed you so hard and so far that he barely recognizes your face, even now.

even as you stare at him--begging him to change. begging him to do the one thing he feels most incapable of.

he'd refused to love you for so long that he'd left bruises fighting you.

peter breathes in.

"i love you."

the words throw him a branch. he drops it. he pushes it even further into the ground. dirt and disease and all of the things that he deserves.

he waits for you to leave and leave and leave.

"peter, i love you.”

it’s a different sentence. it hurts even more.

“are you sorry about that?" you ask him, your anger burning holes in his heart. "are you sorry for letting me love you?"

he says nothing.

this means nothing.

"i can't--i won't sit here and pretend like i don't anymore. i won’t be your statue.”

a beautiful statue, peter realizes.

something to return to. the thing to remain when everything else has been turned to ash. something hidden and secret and just for him.

he thinks of you, stone and iron and every impenetrable thing.

he blanches at the prospect.

“i'm sorry, peter,” you say, and it’s cruel. “because it's not fair to you. i know it's not. but it's not fair to me either."

tears gather in your eyes. they drown peter in their silence.

he tries to speak but his words are too quiet. he tries to tell you but his voice has been stolen.

"i'm sorry," you tell him.

and then you're gone.

"you don't have to tell me," you'd said to him. a long time ago. "whatever it is, i don't care."

peter thought that you might. that if you knew the truth, you might care.

that you might not want to be around a murderer like him.

but he didn't say that.

"peter," you'd wrapped an arm around him, supported him with all of your weight. "i care about you, you know?"

it was a question that didn't require answering.

peter couldn't say it back. guilt had its chains wrapped around him, and was controlling his every move.

"okay. as long as you know."

"i don't care," you'd said to him.

but you would.

peter sits in his apartment alone.

it's the first time in weeks.

usually, you're there. usually, you're filling his rooms with laughter. brightening every doorway you walk through.

you’re there with a warmth peter doesn’t care to describe. a smile he doesn’t want to see; eyes that go beyond a simple conclusion.

you’re there, changing everything. one second at a time.

you distract him until he doesn't need distraction.

but tonight he's alone.

tonight he's staring at the pictures he still has of gwen.

and despite the pain.

despite the guilt.

despite all of his attention focused on the photographs in front of him.

despite it all.

he's thinking about you.

when peter knocks on your door, he tries not to wince.

he tries to collect himself into a neat picture. into a semblance of a person. a complete idea.

he struggles and scrambles around for something spare, something he left behind.

but he can't manage to find it all before you open your door.

before you're standing in front of him, eyes puffy.

it's been a night.

one night without you and peter's already back.

some cruel part of him laughs.

"hey," he says.

he repeats apologies in his head. tries to print them out into the world. he wants you to know. he wants to tell you.

he wants to just fix this.

you stare at him, mouth open the tiniest bit. unexpected and shocked and everything peter was worried about.

peter scratches at his neck, ashamed. "i know you're still mad. and that i shouldn't be here. i wanted--" he swallows his courage. "i wanted to give you some space, but i..."

he stops. looks at you. your eyes. a phantom of a smile. and idea he’s lost one too many times.

"i don't want to lose you."

he repeats the words like a record in his mind.

your words, he realizes.

"i can't lose you," he repeats. he feels the grasp on his heart loosen. he breathes out, shakily. "can we talk? i want--i just want--"

and he falters on the edges of the words.

he can feel the pain, steady as air, crawling up his skin, laughing at him over and over. it presses up against him, whispering that he can’t do it. it ceases to exist at all.

it holds him hostage. he’s not allowed to do this. he’s not supposed to be here, looking at you.

but he wants to feel it. he wants you to hear him clearly. he wants to push this wall away. and he—

if he could just say it.

you open the door.

because you've always been more forgiving than him.

its a couple of weeks later.

a couple of weeks of finally understanding what denial can do to a person.

of finally defining the meaning of you.

of you and your smile and your forgiveness.

the strength you've leant peter, even when he hasn't deserved it.

it's a couple of weeks later, and you're sitting on peter's couch.

you're there, now, and peter doesn't feel guilty about it.

he can't.

he doesn't let himself think about what it means.

instead, he runs a fingertip up and down the skin of your arm, he tries to pay attention to the movie you're both watching and fails.

he looks over at you, admiring the light on your face.

the depths and lights and pictures that a camera could never capture.

he smiles at you, unknowingly.

you look over to him. "what?" you ask, teasing voice, a brow raised.

but you're smiling too.

peter shakes his head. he tilts your chin up with his finger, getting a better view.

there's a look on your face that peter never wants to go away.

there's a feeling in his chest--more than pounding, more than strength--that he recognizes most.

you mean something to him. that much is clear.

"peter," you sing, trying to get his attention.

"what?"

"you're not even watching the movie."

peter smiles. "that's okay."

"want to change it?"

peter shakes his head, he doesn't need to say a single thing.

you sigh and look away from him, but there's a grin on your face that peter wants to put in his pocket.

for a rainy day.

he keeps staring at you.

doesn't need to watch a movie when you're right next to him.

and peter defines it.

because he knows.

and he's pretty sure--amidst all of the mistakes and lies--that he always has.

“hey,” peter says.

he doesn’t need to worry about restrictions. about ideas and actions that he’s made.

you smile at him, despite it all.

“change your mind?” you ask him, so very close.

he can feel your breath on his skin. can taste the eagerness in the air.

yes, he thinks,

you wait for him. you stare at him until he speaks. “peter,” you whisper, like a beacon of hope.

like a light to go home to.

peter smiles again, ready.

“i love you.”

my masterlist here.

tags: @moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf

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olderthannetfic · 6 months

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hii! does anybody have any advice on how to feel okay with not having friends? i spent years abroad, so in the meantime my irl friends from hs found other friends to hang out with who they seem to like more than me or else are very busy with work and uni and such. which is cool, good for them for having such a vibrant social life, but it feels like they have no room for me anymore and i'm a person who can't make friends that easily. i don't drink or smoke, and i feel uncomfortable in big gatherings and feel better getting to know ppl one-on-one over a longer period of time, but that makes it hard for me to connect to ppl bc most irl people don't have much patience or already have their own established friend group and little old me doesn't hold their attention.

i'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks, so hopefully that will give me the necessary social interaction plus i have a great family, so i'm not going stir crazy, it just hurts a little that my friends don't bother to text me for days if i don't text them first or invite me out to places. and i'm trying to make new friends, it just doesn't come that easy and in the meantime i wish i could just feel at peace w being alone instead of questioning why people don't want to hang out with me or why i don't feature into their leisure plans. (not that i'm blaming them, it's just that it's hard not to feel inadequate.)

so yeah, anyone have any advice on how to feel at peace w being alone? like, maybe i'll never manage to make new friends or make new connections, maybe through lack of trying, maybe through lack of luck, idc, i just want to be enough for myself, but i don't know how.

so any wise words are appreciated and thank you, OTNF, for letting me vent in your inbox :)

Well... those feelings are pretty common and a natural reaction to the situation. You may not really get rid of them entirely, but you can accept them as a natural part of things and not a sign that anything has gone wrong.

HS friends rarely stick with each other even during college, let alone after, so you would likely be in this same boat regardless. Making new adult friends can be a pain, but it's something most of us face multiple times even if we luck into some good friend groups at points and even if we're more social.

The thing to do for many people is to keep busy with hobbies. A crafting meetup or book club isn't usually massive. I know you don't like groups, but nobody is going to go off one-on-one without meeting you in a group context first. Finding some more manageable groups to meet people casually and see if you click is how most people do it. The only way to get to know people over time is to show up in the same places with the same people a lot.

Another important thing to realize about adult friends is that many of them won't be good about texting you or inviting you because they're all out of energy for doing that with anyone. Maybe all of their energy is reserved for a job. Maybe for a child. Maybe for a romantic partner.

Even if you're their very best friend, they may still not respond much at certain times in their life. If you guys are just post college, maybe that's not the issue yet, but it will be at some point.

Every single book about the plague of loneliness and how people suck at maintaining core friendships outside of their household is fixated on this. People suck at recognizing when they aren't putting enough energy into maintaining relationships.

I would axe that hangdog attitude about little old you not holding people's attention. They probably just aren't allocating time to building friendships at all.

Liking being alone has a lot to do with loving yourself in general and having hobbies and things you want to have time for that are solo pursuits.

It's also about not waiting to do things like go to a restaurant you want to check out. Go alone. Go with a book. Anything can be a solo activity unless it literally mandates 2+ people. Missing out on friend time shouldn't mean missing out on everything else, but a lot of people let it become that.

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justyouraverageficwriter · 2 years

Text

Took You Long Enough

Karina (Aespa) x M Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff (cause I'm a sucker for it)

WC: 4021

AN: This is my first non-Twice member smut so please be kind to it. Karina is a babe so why not.

It's almost midnight when you finally decided to call it a day, you've put extra hours in your work. It is safe to say you're setting yourself up to make an impact, it's your first job after college and you want to be promoted as fast as possible. Besides, that extra overtime pay wouldn't hurt but ultimately that pay raise is your goal. You have fixed your stuffs and ready to go when your phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, it is impossible not to sigh. However, it's impossible to disregard the call either so you answered.

"Babe! Can you pick me up?" A girl who obviously had her fill of alcohol is on the other side of the video call. Voice loud, people busy in the background.

From the looks of it, she and her three girl friends are already outside the club and looking for means to go home. All of them are more than tipsy, their giggles gave it away.

"Do you know what time is it, Jimin?" You didn't try to mask the annoyance in your voice.

"I know it's late so please, can you pick me up?" She acts all cute and fluffy in response to your annoyed answer. She just knows what buttons to press to get what she wants.

Of course, you will fetch her. It's already been decided from the start. It's just always this way with her.

"Thanks babe!" She is beaming widely.

She is now in your car, and you're driving her home.

"Stop calling me that Jimin." You said in a soft but firm manner. You have your reasons why you don't want to be called that pet name.

See, you and Jimin are just friends; very close friends. Even though most of the times you act more than that label, no one dared to talk about feelings. She is your muse, that is clear to see. Yet, you've kept your emotions in check. You two are polar opposites, that is the very big reason why you are afraid. She is this carefree spirit, who enjoys going out and spending time with friends. Most of the time she just indulges in life's pleasure, a complete turn off for you if it's not her.

On the other side of the spectrum, you and your over enthusiasm to accomplish your dreams in life. Evident in how you hustle every day, taking life seriously. You've come from slightly humble beginnings hence the mindset. As you have said earlier, exact opposites but that didn't stop you from being good friends.

"You should start calling me Karina, you know." She chose to disregard what you said.

Karina. There's a nice ring to it. It fits her so well, especially how she looks tonight. Her long neck, collarbone exposed in that black top. Her sharp features and the ponytail that framed her face. She is crazy beautiful and you even doubt beautiful is an enough of a word. You already know guys tried to hit on her in the club, you're thankful you are the one to take her home and not some random guy she met.

"Yeah, okay." It is your safe answer. Deep inside you prefer calling her Jimin rather than her new name. One, it feels more intimate. Two, you don't even understand the reason why she legally changed it.

"Can you please stop acting all mad? I don't like it.'"

"I'm not mad." You replied, trying to explain.

"Oh come on (YN), do you expect me to believe that? I know you."

In all honesty, you're not mad per se. You're frustrated that you could not tell her how you feel. How you're not able to take care for her, and worry for her without spilling all your feelings. You know to yourself you're tired of playing all pretend, but it's Jimin and you could not stand to be away from her so you're scared to take the risk.

"I'm sorry Ji- Karina, I just had a very long day at work." It's the best excuse you can give to rectify the situation without making things awkward.

"We need to talk (YN)." She is serious and almost business like.

You can feel her eyes looking intently towards you. It is a complete lie if you say you're not nervous when you hear her words. You did your best to avoid her gaze, thankfully you have the road to focus into. It is not the first time she invited you to "talk", you've done that way too many times as college classmates. The difference is you always have an idea of what it was about back then. Right now however, you do not or maybe you do; maybe you're just not ready enough to talk about it.

She dragged you inside her apartment. She's living alone, perks of having a wealthy family. Maybe it is also the reason why she treats life less seriously than you. You have been here before but there is a different feeling to it this time, you could not help but to fidget around looking anxious.

"You need to relax." She hands you a glass of water which you immediately drink. It seems she noticed, it's just so obvious not to.

Karina takes her seat next to you. She is a total babe, a living doll. She is breathtaking, you are desperate for more water that you tip the glass towards your mouth only to feel nothing. It is already empty. You looked like a fool with it. She laughs at your expense but you could not blame her, it is a complete blooper from you. Although it warms your heart to see her like that, you always want to see her happy. In the first time since you were confined in the walls of her apartment, you relaxed your defenses. A bad choice, or a good one you don't know as you are beyond shocked to what is currently happening.

Karina's lips are on yours as she takes her chance to straddle. Dumbfounded, you do not know what to do. You're just frozen, all that is registering in your amazingly still processing brain is the feeling of her weight on your lap and the softness of her lips.

"It's high time we settle this." Her voice cuts your trance.

"What are you doing Karina?"

She places a finger on your lips as as she satisfactorily smiles.

"Let's do this first, then we'll talk okay?" There is that sultriness in her voice.

"But, but. I think you're just drunk."

"Maybe I am, but no buts." Her lip biting adds more tension to an already thick air.

She goes back to kissing you, the way her lips make contact with yours feels like a dream. For sure, you have always wanted to kiss her but there is that reluctant feeling inside you hindering you from fully responding. There is a puzzling sense lurking in the background, why does her kiss conveys so much emotions? Is this all true? Are you just imagining things? Questions, your mind is full of them.

"Stop overthinking." Her deep beautiful eyes look at you, sincere but quite reassuring.

"If this doesn't mean anything to you, then just think of it as fulfillment of lusts. I would like to assume you find me hot, am I not?"

"Yes, but-" She interrupted your sentence again the same way she did earlier.

"I said no buts, remember?" She smiled coyly before going back to your lips. She is always alluring, confident in her own skin and why not. She has all the right to.

You resigned to go with it, this is your dream turned reality after all. There is no use overthinking and spoil all the fun. Besides, it's not like you forced yourself into her. It's Jimin or Karina, the name doesn't matter as of now. Obviously there are things to straighten after, it's just her kiss is slowly getting overwhelming by the minute. There is no wrong or right at the moment, only pleasure; a thing a man always choose. Of course it applies to you.

You somehow can feel her smirk in between the kiss; she is surely delighted you finally responds to her advances. Without you noticing, your hands travel down her back pulling her closer. It is not the first time that you're wrapped around each other's bodies, she has no qualms on casually hugging you before. It's the first however that your lips are locked, intentions clear.

Karina is in a state of high, her eyes heavy with the haze of lust and wanting. She picks up your hands and place them on top her chest. It is a green light for you to touch her and do what you want. She is smiling, she is proud of herself for doing it.

Your hands are shaking, there is nervousness still. The feel of her tits albeit still clothed sitting perfectly on your hands is more than enough for you to lose your mind. Of course, you have fantasized this moment; and who wouldn't for she is hot as hell. It is just surreal for it to finally happen. It's crazy enough just like this, what more to touch it bare. She was clearly enjoying the attention.

"Nothing's going to happen if you don't move your hands." She purposefully leans more towards you, squishing her mounds in the process. You take one big gulp of saliva.

"Karina." You racked your brains in search of a reply and that is all that you can manage.

"Stop talking and touch me." She put her hands on top of yours and urges you to caress her tits. "Let's get you out of this shall we?"

She starts to unbutton your shirt and peel it off successfully. Karina trace your skin with her finger from your lips, to your neck down to your chest, and finally landing on your nipple making circles around it. Masterful seduction for sure. The bulge under your pants could not be hidden anymore. Your dick wants to be free and be given attention. She knows it too of course so she slowly jerks her waist above your crotch.

"Fuck, it turns me on so much just looking at your reactions babe. You really want me, don't you?"

"Yes! I want you so much, Karina." Of course there's more to it than just lust.

"Really? Then why don't you pull down your pants for me."

Her words are rule of law that you do not dare to disobey, your pants are completely off almost instantly in one stroke; like your body was just waiting for the command to do it. Your dick fully erect and freed from clothes stands proudly, aching for more attention, and leaking precum at its head. Karina's jaw dropped at sight.

"I know you have a big dick but I did not know it was this big." Her hands already wrapped around your shaft, stroking its length. She is rubbing your tip as it continuously to pump out precum at the process, slathering it around making your dick slippery.

All you could do was to grunt and moan at her amazing handjob. The strokes of her hand is an absolute masterpiece. She controls the pace perfectly on point, speeding it up for maximum pleasure then slowing it down to prolong the session. Her eyes completely fixed on you, watching every twist of your face. She clearly loves the idea of control, and she is using it to full advantage.

"Do you want me to suck your cock babe?" She whispers in your ear.

Once again you are completely malfunctioning. You didn't expect to hear these words coming from Karina's mouth, not to you at the very least. Here is this girl that you like and adore, a girl who you are afraid to fall into if you haven't yet already, asking you if you want her to suck your dick. You want to say no out of respect and adoration but it's your chance to fulfill a fantasy. You're in quite a dilemma.

"I promise it will be so good."

Karina stands up, it hurts to feel that separation. She once again bites her lips, then proceeds to take off her top. Her boobs make your mouth water, barely held by her strapless bra. She takes off her skirt next, lets it fall to the floor. You have seen her on a bikini once for a quick summer vacation, and that picture on your mind is still clear as day. But nothing compares to the view you have now. In her underwear, you can't help but fully lust for her. You cannot take your eyes off and she know she got your attention. Karina turn around for good measure, seductive in her twirl. The attention is feeding her ego, driving her libido more and more.

"Enjoying what you see?" She acts shy by biting her fingers and looking away. You know it's all just for show but it just makes you want her even more. You nod without thinking twice.

On her way down, she leaves a trail of kisses on your chest, then on your navel and on your thighs. The close proximity of her head to your member is making you anticipate even more. Thankfully she did not keep you waiting. Karina takes hold or your hard dick and smile on the idea of you throbbing to her touch. She uses her tongue to start her feast, slathering your tip with her saliva. You gasp at the sensation; it is too good to be true. From the base of your cock, she starts to lick towards your head before fully putting it whole to her warm and wet mouth.

"Fuck Karina, where did you learn to do that?" You hold her head to anchor yourself from the overwhelming pleasure.

She responded in all muffled words for she did not let up with her sucking. Her mouth is quite occupied at the moment. You are quite thankful that is the case, you don't want to know to be honest. Watching her devour your cock is such an erotic sight, you know it will trigger your orgasm sooner than you want it so you decide against doing it. However even looking away, you can still hear the sloppiness of her wet mouth having her fill of your dick and her mumbled moans.

"I'm going to cum soon if you don't stop Karina." You are already struggling to hold it all.

Fortunately, she stops with her blowjob allowing your dick to rest for a bit. Karina is licking the corners of her lips, still continuing to seduce you. She is so good at it.

"I know you will like this." She raised her bra a bit enough to reveal a crease in her underboob. Taking your slick hard dick and putting it in between her pushed up tits. You already what's coming but you could not prepare enough for the sensation of her big boobs choking your cock. You moan loud as a result.

Having that confidence that you love the act, Karina moves her boobs up and down. A full blown titfuck just like you imagine, maybe even better. She is acting like a complete slut, and you're so into it as well. Your orgasm is catching up with you fast and you don't know if you can last any longer.

"I'm going to cum, Karina. Fuck!"

"Cum between my tits, please babe."

That you did, bursting between her mounds painting it white. Her tits are now dripping with all your slick liquids.

"Look at the mess you've made. Enjoyed it much?" Karina is playing with your cum with her fingers and take a quick lick of it. "You taste so good, babe."

You just lay in the couch catching your breath, still shocked to what just happened. Karina moves to kiss your lips.

"We're not done yet. I'll just grab some tissue to clean up your mess." She winks at you as she goes to fetch the tissues. When she came back, she's rubbed clean of all your mess. Karina looks at your still hard dick and licks her lips again. "Hard again for me huh?"

"I want to fuck you Karina!" You are surprised by the words that you blurted out. You notice Karina felt the same. She laughs, amused at your choice of words.

"You will! But not yet." She pushes you again to lay back on the couch. She straddles on your lap again resuming to make out.

This time it is more lustful as you return her kisses with fervor, gone is the holding back and reservations. You are more than determined to fuck her, to be inside her pussy, to fulfill your fantasy. Your hands now freely travel throughout her whole body, but you linger in her breasts. You have always been a big fan of her boobs. The touch stokes her fire as Karina responds with even more intense kissing.

"Fuck babe, I'm getting so horny by your touch." She reaches out to her back to unclasp her bra, letting her perfect breasts to fall into your hands. You have been aching for the chance to touch it bare, caress it and your wish is granted finally. Her boobs are so soft and smooth to the touch, you just want to bury your head and drown yourself happily.

"They're so big and soft Karina. I want them every day." You're not holding your words now.

"You can touch these tits whenever you want babe." She arches her back to give you better access to her boobs and you happily obliged by sucking her nipples while your free hand grabs the other. Meanwhile Karina starts to rub her clit against your cock. Her wetness already leaking in her panty. It is a big tease of what's to come but you're contented for now. You'll let your muse tease herself until she could not take it anymore.

It was not long until she grows tired of the fabric of her underwear getting in the way, so she drags her panty to the side to expose her wet pussy. Karina did not waste any time to continue what she was doing. She resumes jerking her hips, finally rubbing genitals flesh into flesh. The underside of your dick is now covered in her juices as her clit traces your length. Her moans steadily increasing in each of her hips' movement.

You rip her underwear like its paper. You too think it’s getting in the way. "Oops! I hope this is not expensive." You take a sniff of her torn underwear bringing it to your nose. It smells heavenly of course.

"Pervert!"

"Says the one who's grinding on top of a dick, moaning loudly as well."

"Fair enough, ahhh!" She is smiling while she moans. She is so damn sexy and you want her right now. You stand up making sure that she'll not fall, then turn around and place Karina under you. With her back on the couch, you spread her legs to take position in between. Her fat pussy on display waiting to be fucked, ready to be used.

You didn't wait for anything as you take a plunge. There is that sense of completeness when you finally speared her to your hilt. You've been dreaming for this day to come, and the sensation is way better than your expectation.

"Your dick is so big babe, it feels so good inside me."

Karina gorgeous body rocks every time you thrust. You start slow, enjoying the process of sliding in and out her wet clit.

"Feel so good to finally fuck your pussy Karina."

"I guess you waited-ugh for so long-ahh to fuck me. How does it hmmm-feel to finally be inside me?"

"I love it, I love you Karina."

Your eyes tell her what you wanted to say. It's more than just sex. It's beyond that. She smiles in acknowledgment. You're both too horny to think of something else.

"Then please-ahhh, make love to me harder."

That is all you need to hear from her. You are now on top of Karina with your bodies pressed against each other. You are feeding off each other's heat. You increase your pace, for actions speak louder than words. Curses and wordless moans should be heard but muffled grunts are the ones that accompanied the horny scene. You silence each other by kissing with your tongues intertwined.

"Ahh fuck me from behind, oh my-ahh please babe."

You didn't need to be told twice, both taking your positions in a flash. You take your time to appreciate just how sexy Karina is. She is criminally unfair. Although you did not linger long, her pussy is so precious to be kept waiting. Besides, your dick is aching to be sheathed again

Slipping inside her once more, you feel at home in her walls. Karina is perfectly positioned, on her knees and pussy spread for your access. The slapping sounds of sex and profanities highlights each short and fast jerks. The sight of her jiggling booty adds to the overwhelming visuals. You grab her ponytail ever so gently to lift her head up while you take her from behind.

"Ugh-ahhh just like that babe. Ahhh-fuck me ahh-just like that. Don't you fuck-ahhh dare stop."

You obey her, you will not let up not until you fucked her brains out. Reaching out to her bouncing tits to grab a hold of them, you continue to use her until you feel her walls closing upon you.

"Shit babe! I'm cumming-ahhh. I am- ahhhhh!" Her hips bucks as Karina's pussy squirts her orgasm. You feel that your dick is going to be pushed out of how intense the flow is. But as all liquid is designed, it will leak in the tiniest of spaces; her juices drips on her legs, some to the sofa while others on the floor. You wait for her to relax and let her enjoy her release.

"I can't leave you hanging, can I?" She grinds her hips to stimulate your still buried cock.

"Hell no." You hold her hips to pull her closer to your thrusts. Almost immediately, you found the pace that works for you, ready to chase again your pinnacle.

"Cum inside me, babe! You've been such a good fuck." Her back against you, head tips upward to you locked into a kiss. Hands now playing with her tits. It's the perfect position to let it all go. In what seems like the end of time, you sink your dick deep and orgasmed. Ropes of your seed shoots out inside her, mixing with her own. You sink to the couch with her. Her used pussy leaks out of the mixed juices when you pulled out.

"You're mine Karina." You move to kiss her shoulders. She seems to glow, beautiful than ever. Basking in the afterglow of sex.

"Took you long enough." You can clearly hear her smile. She turns around to face you.

"I wished I let you know sooner. We could have been together for years now. I'd love to track down every guy that laid a finger on you." There is a tiny hint of hurting in your voice.

"It's your fault you know, I thought you weren't even interested on me."

"I thought I was really obvious. And besides I'm afraid we will not work out. We're polar opposites remember?" You guess it's the right time to lay it all out.

"Well it doesn't matter now. You better play catch up then. Make up for lost time." You know her too much that you know her statement has a double meaning.

"I guess I have to do that."

"I love you (YN)!" Your heart melted. You've been craving for those words.

"I love you too Karina. You're the number one reason why I want to succeed in life."

After a long and passionate kiss, you see that naughty smile of hers.

"Round 2?" She's even more seductive.

"Let's!"

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#fanfic #fanfiction #smut #aespa #aespa karina #karina #yoo jimin

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nances · 2 years

Note

What are your thoughts on Dustin and Suzie?

They're so long distance, she doesn't know about the Upside Down, and they have a pretty fundamental difference in their belief systems.

I think they're cute in theory and I want Dustin to be happy but I don't really see it feasibly working out long term.

I think they're super cute, but yes, you're absolutely right. Unless Suzie somehow gets a bigger role next season (which I doubt, since they're planning to go back to the season 1 groupings... but hey, who knows!) I have a feeling they may break up.

It's very difficult to maintain a long distance relationship, ESPECIALLY if it's an apocalyptic setting. I mean. They don't even have mobile phones! I wouldn't be surprised if all power goes out in Hawkins as a consequence of the Upside Down taking over it. I think Dustin may actually be the one to take the initiative... He's not going to want Suzie anywhere near Hawkins during the next few years, especially after he saw what happened to Max. He's also probably not going to have time to travel to Utah in the midst of everything (and a plot point about that would essentially be a waste of time if it's not actually somehow relevant to the narrative.)

We also have to take into account Dustin's trauma and seeing his friend die right in front of him. He's probably going through immense amounts of survivor's guilt and I wouldn't be surprised at all if he becomes a bit aloof, irritable, and not his usual ray-of-sunshine-self. Season 5 is obviously going to have a darker tone overall and there's going to be no light-hearted slice of life to start it off with. So all of this could factor in to his relationship with Suzie withering away.

Of course there's a possibility that he tries to make it work, keep it up as long as he can, (much like Max, pretending to be normal, like nothing's happened, etc) only to fail miserably, as he's definitely going through his own issues and he's going to be super busy with all the supernatural shit going down. And so Suzie may end up being the one who gets tired of the unstable nature of their relationship. Dustin's clearly no longer himself, and unless he's able to somehow convince her that all of this Upside Down stuff is real (chances of which are... low imo. I mean... it took a while for Max to believe it and we saw how the Cali group didn't even try, coming up with Americantendo instead) he'll have no way of explaining himself to her.

Then again... there's that entire sequence with Suzie's family heavily foreshadowing the end of the season. With all her siblings' scenes representing plot points that happen in vol.2 (I don't remember their names but I think will80sbyers made a post about this a while ago). So I also feel like it would be narratively a very poor choice to just sideline her completely? I sure do hope that Dustin is able to find happiness. So perhaps a realistic scenario would be to have them be broken up throughout season 5 and then hopefully find a way to rekindle their relationship at the end, when all is over? Finn talked about the possibility of some of them leaving Hawkins at the end, so maybe it's not that crazy to assume Dustin would go off to college with Suzie. Unfortunately it's probably going to be a minor sideplot regardless. But maybe that's okay. The writers have a lot on their plates.

So all in all, we'll have to wait and see just how they're planning to utilize her character in S5. But I'm definitely excited! We're certainly in for a lot of angst and I can't wait for a deep-dive into Dustin's psyche. (That is, if they truly know what they're doing... I saw someone complain about how Steve always gets out of traumatic situations unbothered and unscathed, so yeah. that's something to consider as well.)

Thank you for the question!!

#duzie #?? i think that's their name #dustin henderson #suzie bingham #byler tumblr #stranger things #ask box #anon

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ofbluesandyellows · 1 year

Text

Eight: Jitterbug Love - Eddie Munson/Reader

Warnings: heartache? lol other than that just swearing.

Word count: 5,639

a/n: it’s crazy too many how many of you have read this little fic I wrote. I just hope these last chapters are just as enjoyable as the others, and that you find some comfort in it. So here it is! Another chapter, let me know what you think :)

Previous chapter

Your aunt and uncle came back, the conversation between them was all about their little trip and how amazing it had been to be out of town for a couple of days. You half heard what they said, mostly nodding and pretending to laugh when they did. The roses were blooming but not thanks to your constant attention, it had been all the rainy nights. Motty, though, you weren’t sure how he managed to get fatter, as if a magic fairy had been around feeding the furry thing.

You laid in bed a lot, playing Steve’s borrowed cassettes over and over again, by Thursday you had come to terms of what your next step would be, this had been the ultimate decision, you weren’t sure why it had taken you so long to figure it out, it was easy and it was the best for everyone. Except for your two friends.

Yes, you still had another couple of weeks left in Hawkins but things didn’t feel the same, it was obvious that it had nothing to do with any of your friends. The issue was in how you were afraid to bump into Eddie or any of his friends at the store, or at Family Video and you pretty much avoided the phone at all coast, if it rang you pretended to answer, waiting for the person on the other side to talk first and when your aunt—who was the one who used the phone the most—ended her gossipy chats you disconnected the phone for a few hours, not risking Eddie calling.

Was this making you go crazy? Yeah, insanity was becoming a thing. Then what was the point of staying? That’s when you decided to call them. It was a no greeting, no light conversation starter type of conversation, you went straight to the point.

“Uh, this is as bad a time as any so… I’m going to just say it, because it’s probably very unfair for you, and for me too. I honestly don’t want you to think bad of me but, I got a call from college, I have to… go back next week to check a few things about my scholarship or I could lose it and you guys know I’m not wealthy to let it all pass… and i’m sorry because we had plans and I promise for my life that I’ll make it up to you.”

You squeezed your eyes shut waiting for the explosion of complaints, but nothing came. Yes you had lied but it was for the greater good.

“Oh,” Robin simply said on the line. “I mean, it’s not what I was expecting to hear, but I—mmm I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it… are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little surprised about it but it’s fine, mom has things under control for now. Are you not mad?”

“Pff, no. I’m… sad and disappointed because I was planning on introducing you to Vickie for our pool thing… I guess we can wait, Steve is clenching his jaw and now he is showing me his middle finger but he is going to be fine.”

The line cut for a second and then there it was, “you are not doing this for Munson right? Do I need to kick his ass? Just say the word and I’ll do it.”

The smile that spread on your face was not how you expected to react, but Steve was sometimes good with his intuition, “no Steve, it’s just school stuff.”

“Better be true missy.”

“Yes mom!”

That day, as the afternoon hit, you knew Robin and Steve’s shift ended at six. You were there on the dot. The door chimed, both doing their thing not bothering to look around.

“We’re closing, you can come back tomorrow.” Steve’s fake politeness was endearing but you knew the tone pretty well to know he was already exhausted and ready to kick the customer out, he was probably still a little pissed about earlier.

“Not interested in tapes, nor your coupons.” You approached the desk.

“Y/n! Where have you been? We tried to call you back like dozens of times to see if we were still good for tonight, but the line was always busy.” Robin’s elbows leaned on the counter surface, a bunch of tall buildings made of VHS surrounding her figure.

“My aunt is back and I leave the phone off the hook all the time, to avoid you know who” you shrugged, “my mental health is first you know.”

“Told you it must have been the aunt, it’s always the old woman and their gossip.” Steve pointed a finger at your friend.

“We’re almost done! We just need to rewind a few more tapes and put them in their designated spot and we can go to Steve’s.” Robin started to move around knocking stuff out. “Shit”

“Sure, I’ll wait. Let me help you with that.” You took the un-rewind tapes and started the process. Your two musketeer friends knew their way around the store so it was an agile way to finish the job in record time.

You loved how they were so subtle when it came to talking about you or your current ungracious love life. The mumbling was louder than intended, they threw you glances that were too obvious.

“What is it guys? I can see you chit-chatting like five year olds criticizing the kid with the new box of crayons.”

“Told you she was going to notice.” Steve brushed his hair and sighed, “uh… well if Robin doesn’t want to tell you I will… Eddie came by on Monday, also he came yesterday and this morning too. He wanted to talk to you but we told him you were out of town with your aunt and uncle.”

“We know you don’t want to talk to him, so we tried to talk to you but you weren’t picking up, and you caught of off ward with the scholarship thing,” Robin was doing lots of hand gestures, “so we tried to give you space because it’s what friends do and we knew you were going to come here for our UNO night game–or at least we expected so–and we weren’t planning on telling you—“ Steve nudged her “ugh, okay I didn’t want you to know because Eddie is quite a—this is going to sound so bad I’m sorry—but he is a bitch! and I can’t help but be super angry at him."

You could act as if things didn’t have an effect on you, as if all those words your friends just said to you hadn’t felt like a jab on the ribs or a kick on the shin, but you couldn’t and felt the hot itchy tears starting to make your sight blurry.

“You made her cry dingus!”

“Me?!”

Robin hugged you and you hugged her, keeping the feels at bay.

“I don’t want any of you to try and fix this or fight for my honor,” you looked at Robin followed by Steve, who quickly deflected his gaze. “Eddie did nothing wrong, it was all me. I believed we had something happening on solely a few interactions that probably got misinterpreted by my delusional ass.” You felt the tingly nose, “so leave it! I just want to move on and enjoy the last few days I have with you. Okay?”

Both of them nodded and silently continued with the rearrangement of the tapes.

You pressed the rewind button when the door chimed again.

“Oh shit…” Dustin swore, as Max, Lucas and Will clashed at his back.

“Hey! We are closed, wait at the arcade!” Steve said exasperated, placing tapes with hard thuds.

“Sorry, but this is life or death…” Dustin ran to Steve and Max to Robin.

It was obvious now that something was happening when Lucas and Will did their best to help you, just to keep you occupied.

Steve stopped moving, he was looking at Dustin with unblinking eyes, his grasp on the kart filled with tapes hardened around the handle, knuckles turning white. Robin gasped, hand on her mouth.

“You’re kidding right?” Robin’s hand dropped.

“Hey! Look, have you watched Back to The Future, it's a classic. Love the concept of time traveling.” Lucas smiled at you, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“What’s going on here, you are not very smooth, you knew that?” you squinted at Lucas, who grinned, a fake one and Will just stood there watching the scene develop with fidgetty hands.

“I’m going to kick his fucking ass right now.” Steve pushed the kart far away, it collided with a shelf, making everything fall messily.

“Where the fuck is he going?” you shouted running behind him.

Everyone yelled your name, but it was too late. You followed Steve who suddenly came to halt at the door, you watched the direction his whole body pointed and… you felt as if a bucket of cold water had fallen over you.

Eddie was kissing Chrissy, he leaning on the side of his van, Jeff and Gareth gaging as they came out of the arcade.

His ringed fingers were between her coppery hair, and she was grabbing him by the waist, and you only watched. Everything felt surreal once more, this was the ultimate sign to get the hell out, it felt like a punch in the gut, like someone had taken your heart had carefully taken care of it just for them to throw it to the ground and step on it, spit on it, dance over it, laugh at it.

Blurry vision and all, the inevitable happened, Gareth had turned in time to see you there.

“Y/n!” they said, a little too loud.

Eddie’s head whipped around, he could’ve snapped his neck by the fast motion. He told Chrissy something and pivoted in his spot, looking around before practically jogging to you.

“Do you want me to punch his face?” Steve said, with twitchy hands ready for a fight.

“No, just—let me talk to him for a second, please.”

Steve nodded once, leaning closer to you he whispered, “I’ll be right inside. If you need help or anything just give me the signal.”

Even in those moments he managed to confuse you, you glanced at him and he made the signal, he wrinkled his nose and touched the tip of it.

“Y/n, hi” Eddie stopped in front of you, “I’ve been trying to contact you… you should check your phone, it rings busy all the time. And I heard you’ve been busy too,” he scratched his cheek, nerves exuding from him “I went to see you but apparently you weren’t home so I went to see Buckley and Harrington but you weren’t there either.”

“Yeah, I’ve been a little… unavailable. But what’s going on?”

You needed to try, being friendly could at least save you the trouble of explaining yourself.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other night… it’s um quite hard–I don’t know how to explain it actually.” He crossed his arms over his chest and then he uncrossed them, going to his hips, you also fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

“It’s fine Eddie, you don’t owe me any explanations.”

“Of course I do. Come on! It's obvious we… were um… you know.” He cleared his throat, “but… I asked Chrissy out as you advised and yeah–this was before I went to your house and sure, I’ve been a complete dick to you, I know it and Harrington made sure I didn’t forget, not that I had stopped thinking about it or about you.”

Your nose tingled, shit not now.

“Eddie, I’m glad you invited her! Really, it’s what you have been wanting to do for a long time, I’m just the push you needed, that’s it, it’s totally fine.”

“Jesus christ, don’t say that! You’re making me feel worse, that’s not how it was supposed to happen, I like being around you… like a lot, you are fun and kind and nice and I don’t know what I should do. If the circumstances were different, if you stayed… maybe-”

“Yeah well, it’s not happening so… I’m happy for you, she seems nice.” The tears had slipped over your cheeks.

“She is, but y/n” Eddie’s ringed fingers went to the side of his face, he was panicking, “see now you are crying! Shit! What can I do to make it better?” Eddie asked with palpable worry in his voice, his face contorted almost as if he was in pain.

“Nothing! Just… leave it Munson.” you yelled, but it came out as this horrible whimper.

“Please not Munson, I’m Eddie to you, I don’t want us to stop talking, I do care for you!” He looked disoriented, and anxious. Chrissy was walking your way now calling Eddie’s name, he closed his eyes, trying to keep it together. “shit, shit.”

“I just want to go.” You sobbed so hard it hurt your chest, your eyes on your shoes.

Steve suddenly appeared by your side, you knew pretty well those white Nike tennis. You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure if you had unconsciously given him the signal or he was good at reading the room. Eddie tried to get closer to you, to take a look at your face.

“You okay?” Steve asked you. You shook your head.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” Eddie’s voice sounded just as hurt as you felt.

Steve pushed Eddie aside, “I’ll take care of her Munson, you’ve done enough.”

“What is that supposed to mean Harrington? I didn’t plan any of this shit."

“I don’t want to hear it Munson, back off.” Steve said with a strong voice, Eddie’s eyes widened but did as told.

You grabbed Steve’s hand letting yourself get dragged to his car, your heart aching, feeling like throwing up, head pounding. The inside of Steve’s car was crammed again, the kids managed to fit Robin in the back just so you could be comfortable in the copilot seat, you weren't sure how they got out of the store without you noticing.

“Y/n… I’m sorry I never, I—shit! Fuck!” Dustin punched the leather seat, this time Steve kept quiet.

You were sobbing now, Robin’s hand poked from the backseat, you held it for dear life. For the first time you thought you had a chance with a boy, one that really mattered, one that you never thought of catching feelings for and still you were head over heels for, willing to try.

You cried a lot, everyone got their turn to try and cheer you up but nothing did much to mend your poor heart, you were not the only one hurting in that car. Dustin had felt so guilty the whole ride back, Steve was gripping the steering wheel with too much force, and he kept repeating,

“I’m going to destroy his face, I swear. This is not over until I say so.”

Will tried his best to comfort you with small affections of love, he brushed down you hair, you knew it was frizzy as fuck for the sweat and humidity of the summer air. He also put his hands on your shoulders and put pressure to relax your muscles, it did help a little but what hurt was not something he could fix with small touches.

Robin and Max were mumbling to each other about things, they were upset, Steve was angry of course but Robin and Max were upset and wanted revenge of some kind, it was clear they were planning something to ruin Eddie. While Lucas just tried to distract everyone else with some random comment referring to the weather or how Steve’s hair was still intact after all the commotion.

Steve dropped the teens at the mall, as the three musketeers directed themselves to the one and only, the Harrington residency.

“The last one to reach the door pays for food tomorrow.” Robin said as Steve took the car keys out of the ignition.

“That’s cheating Robin!” He yelled but still accepted the challenge.

You did too, you knew this was some trick to try and forget everything that had happened. You gave in, running all across the grass as Robin took the long way to the front door, the one with paved path and strategically placed rocks, you knew your friend had to do things her own way. As you reached the door just a second after Steve did you turned around to see where the hell was Robin.

“Wait, where the hell is she?” Steve squinted trying to find her.

“Dingus I’m over here, please help guys.” Her hand was in the air but the bushes at Steve’s yard covered her body.

“Holy shit!” you ran to her, kneeling at her side. “Are you okay, how many fingers do you see? Who was your crush in kindergarten?”

“Jesus, y/n I just scratched my knee. I wasn't in a car crash, relax dude.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to your jeans.”

“Noooo… These were practically new.” She whined, her knee was bleeding and the jeans had ripped in that area.

“At least it’s on trend,” She punched you on the arm. “It was a joke, ouch. Steve hurry the hell up, we have an injured musketeer.”

“Ladies, chill the F out I was opening the door for us, dammit it’s not that hard to be nice you know.”

The silent house welcomed you again, this had become the main place for plotting and gossiping for you three, which was kinda funny. Even when you told your aunt you were staying with Steve and Robin there, she just told you to not be late the next day, and something similar happened to Robin, there was this weird thing where all parents liked Steve, he was definitely the mom of the group. Certified parent approval.

Both threw their uniform vests on the couch, they met you in the kitchen where lemonade was being made, real lemonade. Black tea brewing, you had the ice and the glasses ready.

Steve tried to clean Robin’s knee as good as he could but the girl was whiney and tugged at his hair way too hard whenever he put the gauze too close to her wound causing the boy to yelp and complain.

“Jesus, Robin, not the hair! If you can’t handle this then let’s see how that knee gets when it’s all infected and the doctors have to cut your leg off for not bearing the sting of a little antiseptic.”

“It’s not just that! you are being too harsh,”

Steve rolled his eyes, shoving the cotton onto her lap, “Then clean it yourself.”

“I am doing so now!”

“Unbelievable.” Steve looked at you, arms in the air until he decided to stand up and walk to the fridge. “Ladies, I’m defrosting the burritos we ordered last week. I’ll be taking no complaints!”

“Fine,” you shrugged, squeezing the lemon into the tea and adding sugar.

You three moved around the kitchen in sync, everyone doing its own thing while engaging in small conversation. You noticed how the dynamic was simple and easy. Robin seemed to not be angry anymore, Steve hummed a song and he even asked Robin about her knee. It all was so fraternal between each other that you felt a warm feeling spreading inside you. You were going to miss that, you were going to miss them more than anything.

After an improvised dinner and two bowls of Scoops Ahoy leftovers, the couches in the living room were so inviting, calling you for a nap. Steve turned the TV on as some basketball game showed. Robin braided your hair, she was sitting on the couch beside Steve and you were sitting on the carpet between her legs, your eyes feeling heavy and swollen, but it had to be Steve screaming at men running in extremely short shorts that put you on alert again. You shook your head, trying to delete from your brain the image of unfortunate events happening to the players.

“Same, those are too short, many things could happen to them.” Robin giggled, it was as if she had read your mind.

“Right? It’s gross to think about, and like why? Steve, is that even comfortable? Aren’t you afraid something may… come out?”

“Y/n!” Steve squealed. “ugh, this is uncomfortable… but answering your question, no, you don’t worry about that during the game, not if you have a good pair of boxes underneath, geez we are not animals, you know?”

“Wow okay, no need to get defensive.”

“He’s always defensive,” Robin pointed.

“Facts.”

“Shh, seriously keep it quiet at least until the game ends.”

You and Robin giggled. But the quietness lasted only minutes.

“Guys I need a favor.” You said, Steve grunted.

“What is it y/n?” He said it in that condescending tone.

“Would you take me to Eddie’s place to give him back his jacket? He forgot it at my aunt’s the other day and I don’t want it around anymore.”

“We should burn it, it’s only fair.” Robin said.

“That sounds like a plan.” Steve agreed.

“Guys… this is for real.”

“I am for real too, he doesn’t deserve to have it back especially if it’s that leather jacket.” Robin tied your hair in a very pretty braid.

“It is.”

“Then we burn it and leave the remaining pieces at his door.”

“That’s so evil, Robin.” You said.

“I think it’s a great idea.” Steve nodded, watching the TV.

You sighed, “Forget it then, I’ll go by myself.”

“I’ll take you but we need to do it on Monday, our free day."

“Yes,” Robin agreed with Steve, “these next couple of days are crazy and we want to spend it together don’t we?”

“You’re right. Can I hide in Keith’s office while you work?” you glanced at them from your spot on the carpet.

“Abso-freaking-lutely.” Steve squeezed your shoulder.

“Yes! We can watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it’s been on my list forever.” Robin squealed.

“Robin, how has that been in your list since forever? It came out like three months ago.” Steve said snorting.

“Well, it has the potential to become a classic and y/n hasn’t seen it, or have you?”

“Nope, I know I said I would but didn’t have much time.”

“Uh huh… talking about not having time… why haven’t you talked to me about the college dropout thing? I had to hear it from your mom rather than you.”

“What?” Your voice sounding extra high pitched. “She told you? Why haven’t you asked me then.”

Robin shrugged, “I was hoping you would tell me, but I guess not.”

You grunted, now plopping your ass between your two friends. “It’s hard to explain, I just felt like I was not good for college, not enough, I just wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere and I thought maybe if I… dropped out I could join you here and just—“

“Just what? Be miserable and have a horrible job forever?”

Robin scoffed, she sounded hurt.

“I meant it as feeling like I could be wanted somewhere and not feel so… alone.”

“But… y/n you have this opportunity, don’t waste it on us, not on this town.”

“Yeah, it’s absurd to think you would want to come back here after living in New York, please don’t make us feel bad.” Steve intervened. “You are our only hope, Obi-Wan.”

“Oh nooo… he really did say that?” you looked at Robin at your side, your mouth forming a big O.

“Hell yeah he did,” you all started laughing as Steve hid his face in a cushion.

“I will never quote a movie again, being around Dustin is destroying my honor,” he grunted.

The laughs died down after a while, you whipped tears out of the corner of your eye.

“Wish we would’ve recorded that for reference in the future, Dustin won’t believe this.”

“He definitely won’t,” Robin sighed, “but seriously y/n. Don’t leave college, you are really our only hope, do you think we want to stay here forever and work with Keith? We were hoping to one day-”

“As in very soon,” Steve added.

“We could crash at yours and get jobs there and then we could move out together, wouldn’t that be cool.” Robin looked at you biting her lip.

“Super cool.” Steve said.

“Sure… of course… I’d love that!”

“So you won’t give up, right? Even when you lied about going back early to New York because of that scholarship .” She made quotation marks with her fingers.

Your eyes opened in shock, “how did you know?”

“We know you pretty well but it’s fine, we forgive you. Just don’t waste the time, okay? There’s nothing here for you, not even us, because we are going back to you.”

You nodded, maybe that was the incentive you needed, and–even when you didn’t want to admit it, Eddie’s idea was still playing in your mind, a pang in your chest rippled all over your body. Clearing your throat you dissipated the images from earlier.

“Uh, Steve. Do you still have Nancy’s number?”

His whole face brightened, “yeah, why?”

“I need to have a little chat with her.”

“Of course,” he ran to the kitchen and scribbled the number without hesitating.

“This better not be for a new bestie position in your life.” Robin nudged you.

“Of course not, this is business. I’ll tell you all about it when the time comes,”

“You better.”

☼

Monday arrived, your chest clenched when the honk of Steve’s car chimed. Your uncle helped you put your suitcase in the trunk of the well kept Mercedes, Motty rubbed his furry body against your leg and your aunt handed you a brown bag, a full lunch–still warm–waited for you to be eaten.

“Call us when you’re with your mom, okay? This will always be your home sweetie.” She hugged you, “Thanks for making our summer a little less lonely.”

“Thanks for putting up with my noisiness.” You said, your uncle patted you on the back and off you went.

“Don’t forget to call us!” Your aunt shouted as Steve drove away.

“Well, your uncle isn’t even faking how sad he is, he is even smiling” Robin waved at them as if she was the one leaving.

“He never liked me, he only likes his newspapers and his baseball games.”

“Hope to never be like him or my dad, they are so boring.” Steve shivered, “Promise me you won’t let it happen.”

“Promise,” you said, softly punching his arm.

“Same” Robin affirmed.

“Thanks,”

With that you let the music fill in the silence, Robin would let her hand go through the space between the window and the seat just for you to hold it, it wasn’t easy for any to let the other go.

The leather jacket rested on your lap, you sighed it was a bittersweet feeling when it came to Eddie. He was nice and cool and kind, but the mistake was in believing you two could find a way for things to work out, or at least that was where you got it wrong, now it was obvious he only had feelings for the cheerleader.

Since Eddie left his jacket behind you became quite the creep. Yes, you wore it while dancing and yes you had smelt it and you had imagined the sleeves being his arms engulfing you, keeping you safe, holding you at night; in rainy days, in cold winters. You had imagined how it’d be to have Eddie play guitar to you as you studied or having dinners together or attending his shows. It was so stupid now everything seemed like a dream, you were indeed delusional but no one had to know, those pathetic thought were only yours, and it hurt yet you’ve made your decision. You were one step away from closure.

“Here we are.” Steve came to halt right at Forest Hills Trailer Park.

“Wait for me here, it won’t take long.” you gave your two friends a nod.

“Scream if you need help.” Robin gave you a thumbs up, “good luck.”

“Thank you.”

You inhaled deeply, maybe four times, your head felt dizzy after that, but it was now or never. Knuckles hit the door’s surface, you waited until it swung open. All the façades, all the courage evaporated into a sigh.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Jeff popped his head from the inside. His bass was hanging from his chest.

Cool, now you wouldn’t need to see Eddie.

“Hi! I just came to give this back.” You practically pushed the jacket at him, ready to flee.

“Oh I see, do you want me to call Eddie, give me a sec, Ed!“

“No, nooo it’s not necessary, I’m in a rush actually.”

“It’ll be just a minute,”

Fuck.

Gareth came to the door instead. “Uh, bad timing. He went to buy some… drinks.”

“Oh,” your stomach dropped, “it’s all fine, can you give it to him then?”

“Yeah sure, don’t you want to come in?”

“No, I’m—I have a few things to do.” you pointed to your back with your thumb.

“Okay,” Jeff and Gareth traded looks, “we’ll tell him you came by.”

“Er, just before you go y/n.” Jeff said, “He's been a little off lately, hope you get to talk to him, we don’t know what happened between you two but… he is kind of an idiot, don’t give up on him just yet.”

A knot in your throat was starting to form, “Of course not, I’ll talk to him… um, well, see you guys.”

You gave them a tight lipped smile, both boys waved at you.

“Let’s get the hell away from here.” you muttered closing the car door a little too harshly.

“Careful there!”

“Shut up Steve.” Robin backed you up as you tried to calm the accelerated beats of your heart. “He wasn’t there wasn’t he?”

“Nope, but it’s fine, it’s easier like this.”

You weren’t lying but it was so unfair that you felt a little disappointed by not finding him there.

☼

The bus station was crowded with people coming and going. Steve had your suitcase in one hand while you straightened the straps of your backpack.

“These are from the kids, they couldn’t come because some shit went down with Mike and El.” Steve said with a sigh as if it was the most normal thing ever.

You were about to protest, “it’s nothing to worry about.” Robin eased you.

Taking Steve’s package you felt how heavy it was. The brown bag had all these names written along with small messages you could read on the way, you could also distinguish a few cassettes there.

“So I guess this is it.” Robin spoke first, her eyes getting watery as you saw her.

“Don’t cry Robs or you’ll make me cry.”

Steve looked away, but the way he wiped his nose indicated he wanted to cry too, you knew.

“It’s just that… I’ve had such a good time with you and we won’t be seeing each other in a few months and work is going to be so boring without you trying to piss off Steve.” She sniffed.

“I can keep on bothering him on the phone, I know it’s not the same but we can get creative.” you gave her a sad chuckle, both hugging each other clinging to the touch. “I’m going to miss you so much Robin, please keep Steve in check.”

“I always do it, it’s my job, if not who knows what would happen to poor dingus.” a choked laugh came out of her.

“And please keep me updated with how things go with Vickie, yes?”

“Totally, next time I’ll introduce you, my two favorite girls.”

With your thumb you brushed away a tear coming down the side of her nose, “I’m looking forward to that.”

“Ok, scoot over Robin it’s my turn.” Steve pushed Robin softly.

“Who would’ve thought we were besties for life now eh Y/n.”

In a swift move he had you in a strong embrace, one of the warmest hugs ever. If someone had told you that you were going to be clinging to Steve after every inconvenience you would’ve laughed until piss came out of you, but for now you enjoyed it, sniffing the minty scented clothes and aftershave.

“Can’t believe I’m going to say this but… Steve Harrington you are the best friend one could ask for.” you heard Robin chuckle at your side.

“See it’s not that hard to be nice to me. Sometimes I deserve a little love.”

You couldn’t see but he was smiling, at some point the hug became a ball of love when the three musketeers united one last time in one long embrace.

“Ok, I have to go now or else I won’t find the strength.”

Grabbing your suitcase from the floor, you gave your friends a smile, a teary one but one that you expected gave them the reassurance of you being okay.

“Have a safe trip.” Steve kissed your head suddenly.

You wrinkled your nose, “bye dorks.”

Your back to them you started moving in the sea of people.

“Don’t forget our weekly phone calls! Don’t you forget about me! ” Robin said the latter in a singing voice just like the Simple Mind’s song.

Snorting and grinning, you waved at them, “I LOVE YOU GUYS!”

The last you saw of them was Steve putting an arm around Robin’s shoulders, both trying to catch sight of you until the crowd drowned both of their silhouettes.

Next chapter

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straykidsstaytext · 7 months

Text

Save Me pt. 3

Sorry it took so long to update this story life has been very crazy.

Y/N’s POV

Today I woke up before my alarm, not a common occurrence. Sitting up I looked over at the window next to my bed. The Sun had just started to spread light over the sky. Lately since starting back at college I haven’t been getting much sleep. At night my mind is riddled with thoughts so much so it keeps my heart racing. Running my hand through my hair I let out a sigh ‘maybe if I skip today no one will notice’, I thought to myself. Would Bennie even notice if I turned off my phone and disappeared? No probably not he wants nothing to do with me he pretty much said so his self. I would feel bad if I left the boys hanging, but if this will help me they have to understand right?

My alarm blared scaring me out of my head. Grumbling I quickly picked it up shutting it off completely shoving it under my pillow to be forgotten. Looking over the small table next to my bed I reached over to grab the small framed picture of me and Changbin. We were standing together arms wrapped around each other smiling. Seungmin took this picture almost two years ago back when everything wasn’t so confusing. I had no doubt in my mind then that he loved me. “Sorry I rather focus on school than you.” Everything used to be so different back then.

~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ok class your Chemistry final will be next Friday! So make sure you pay attention in class and study over the next week. I have high expectations, class dismissed!” Mr. Twed said with a smile before sitting behind his desk. Gathering my books I hurried and rushed for the school exit. To excited to go home I tripped over someone’s foot. Slamming on the ground I heard a familiar laugh Vernon the school’s biggest asshole.

“You ought to be more careful Y/N.” He said smugly, “Wouldn’t want you trampling all the other students.”

I looked up at him and his two other friends before attempting to pull myself off the ground. “Who said you could get up?” He quickly shoved his hand on my back knocking me down again. “You’ll get up when I say.” He snickered at me as a new voice piped up.

“What the hell is going on here?” I turned my head to the side to attempt to try and see who had walked up. “Oh I see!” The voiced said I could tell they were getting closer. “You like to pick on pretty girls don’t you Vernon?”

“Mind your business Changbin!” Vernon huffed, “I don’t wanna beat up the new kid, so why don’t you buzz off.”

Changbin started to laugh as he knelt down next to me “hey are you okay? Would you like some help sweetheart?”

In this moment I couldn’t hold back the tears “Save me.” The second those words left my mouth Changbin stood up and stood between me and Vernon. “If you think I you can beat me then bring it on.” Looking at both of them I could tell Vernon was scared of Changbin.

Rolling his eyes Vernon grumbled before he and his friends walked off. I watched them leave in shock I was so caught off guard i didn’t realize Changbin had turned back to me trying to help me up. Looking at him I accepted his hand and stood to my feet. “He didn’t hurt you right?” He asked me as he looked over my body frantically. He just met me seconds ago and he cares about my well being. “Hey? Are your okay?” The second time he asked made me finally realize I should probably answer him.

“Yeah I’m okay,” I said as I reached down to grab my bag. “Thank you.”

He smiled at me sweetly. “No need to thank me, it’s a pleasure to save a beautiful girl.” I smiled at him in return before I turned to leave. “Wait!” He said quickly causing me to look back him. “Can I ask you what your name is?”

“My name is Y/N, nice to meet you Changbin.” I smiled before walking away.

~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long from that day that we started dating. How did we go from me begging him to save me to now he wants nothing to do with me. Sighing I set the picture down and sunk under my covers. Maybe sleeping the day away is what I need.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids texts #stray kids bang chan #stray kids lee know #stray kids seo changbin #stray kids #stray kids felix

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1d1195 · 16 days

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Icon behavior right there! I would be so proud lol

oh I totally get that! It's crazy how I lowkey have to do the same with mine! Ideally I would drink this tea(idk the translation bc it's in Spanish lol) and typically that helps and has benefits or whatever and it gets rid of my cramps easily! But without the tea I NEED MEDS QUICKLY! It's so stressful for no reason!

I can only imagine how busy it may be especially if you're involved with seniors! Very hectic for everyone IM sure! It is okay! Like you're a busy girl and your books should feel like treats instead of chores! I know you love your lists but this is something that its okay to a bit slow at finishing!

Im personally have never truly been a fan of jeans but like I said skinny jeans have been always been the preferred of mine! But I do love a good jegging! Anything stretchy tbh is a win in my book because i am a big hip and thigh girly so stretch is something i appreciate lol And I feel that if you like and feel comfortable in what you wear that's all that matters! if it works for you, it works! plus not everything trendy is like " good" lol

My campus is HUGE 😭I am fighting a battle trying not to get ran over by people and cars/buses lol I could make a whole paper on how horrible it is lol But how cute you live in your college area! Love that for you!

Im so glad I wasn't like crazy about the Made to Be projection hahah Oh bestie I have lived near the beach my whole life too yet idk how to swim... I KNOW ITS CRAZY AHAH like i know the very basics like floating but I would lowkey drown if im in to deep in the water lol But tennis how fun!(side note im very excited for the movie challengers if you heard about it and i fear it will end me in a good way) ALSO ICE SKATING IS SO COOL! But yeah the ankle part is no fun lol

WE ARE THE SAME I SWEAR! I NEVER notice when someone likes me😭I always think "oh they are just being nice" or " they dont see me that way" ITS CRAZY! My friends always call me out about my avoidant nature with that lol Sam my love I KNOW there was someone who thought you were hot like its not impossible lol But I get trying to prove yourself in a space where it clearly is not welcoming but I don't blame you but Im sure you were destined to be a hot STEM girly and you have always earned your place!

THE POLL RESULTS!! Omg truly so excited for all of them! AND im very excited for Ding Round 2! I just know it will be great! AND im glad your break is starting off not too bad! Love you lots!-💜

I wish I was more of a tea drinker! I try really hard--especially in the winter months and it's just not for me. I do like iced tea but I feel like that is totally different. I'm big on coffee. If you've ever seen Gilmore Girls, she is me. I love coffee 🤭 That's really cool you have tea to heal your cramps though! I wish I had a remedy like that!

I wasn't supposed to be involved with the Seniors stuff but here we are, Miss Can't Say No. It's alright. It will fly by before I know it.

I know so many people who can't swim! I don't swim well. The lessons were to ensure essentially what you said, so I don't drown and can float. But I understand the mechanics of some of the fancier swim strokes, but I prefer to doggy paddle hahaha

My college area had a really cute coffee and bagel shop and my favorite food is carbs so I didn't have much of a choice in the matter 😂 We also had a bus though. Depending on where you walked it could take up to 15 minutes to walk the length of campus. We all made jokes about jumping in front of the bus for free tuition. HOWEVER, I think it was easier to walk than take the bus. It was so unpredictable and it felt like the same amount of time if not longer rather than just walking.

I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up about Ding tbh. I have a new layout for it so I guess that's cool, hopefully it will be cute. I enjoyed writing it, even though it took ten thousand years. I think Part 2 is often THE HARDEST part of almost all the stories I write. Something about it's still starting, but it's leading to more? Idk lol. I'm glad to be over that hump.

Hope you have a good Monday! 💕

xoxo

#💜

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bambisgirl · 2 years

Text

familiar stranger — l.hs.

PAIRING. idol!heeseung x reader

SYNOPSIS. what if lee heeseung takes a liking to the cute stranger that asked him for a picture with the pretty view instead of one with him?

GENRE. pure fluff, humor, you meet heeseung accidentally

WARNINGS. a little swearing, heeseung is a flirt

word count. 1,554

you were hearing his laugh loud and clear.

“yeah! and i almost fell down the stairs giving jungwon a piggyback!” lee heeseung’s eyes got teary as he was telling the story he found absolutely hilarious. his friends followed right after, cracking up as soon as he mentioned the younger member causing their old friend to almost break his neck.

his voice was lovely. absolutely angelic, deep and honey-like; you could listen to him talk all day long. his aura was dazzling, powerful and intoxicating, the few people passing by threw looks in his direction and got intimidated right away.

he was wearing black baggy sweatpants and a shirt, looking so peaceful, happy and... normal. if it wasn’t for his ravishing, captivating vibe he could almost pass as your usual college student who skipped classes to go for ice cream with his friends on a sunny afternoon.

you took a quick look around and the park was almost empty, did his company have something to do with this so he could have some privacy? it was impossible to know, yet it was a huge deal that heeseung went out with his friends. with his busy schedule always getting in the way, his old friends back from his middle school days were neglected most of the time.

you: bitch you’re not going to believe this

asshat: what???

you: SO I’M IN A PARK AND LEE HEESEUNG IS HERE WITH HIS FRIENDS

you: *sends a photo*

asshat: WHAT WERE THE CHANCES OH MY GOD

asshat: BE CALM

asshat: he probably got tired of crazy fans and weird people, just be yourself and maybe, just MAYBE go talk to him. make him remember you!!!

asshat: but don’t be too obvious

you: OKAY I GOT IT. not obvious and calm. i can handle this very well!

you completely froze. you stopped breathing. seeing heeseung’s tall figure a few metres away from you was something you would’ve never expected from your trip to seoul, your brain didn’t actually accept the fact that he was actually real and not something you only see on tv.

heeseung was your favourite human being on earth, you loved all seven of the members equally and they were honestly the best thing that happened to you so far. you weren’t the bad kind of obsessive, of course, you just appreciated them as people a lot.

after asking your best friend for advice you came back to reality and blinked a couple of times, absolutely perplexed. it’s your chance, y/n. just be kind and make him remember you.

a few moments later you were moving your weight from a leg to another, questioning your life decisions. what good have you done in your past life to be in this position right now? found the solution to world peace? invented a cure for diabetes?

your mind was full of things at that moment, different possible scenarios of you actually talking to heeseung. your shyness held you back from accomplishing a lot of things by now, missing opportunities and losing flights... but not anymore. you were going to talk to him.

you walked closer to the four guys, trying not to act suspicious and pretending to look for directions on your phone.

be calm, your best friend said. don’t be obvious. make him remember you.

how the hell were you supposed to make him remember you when he meets hundreds of people on a daily basis?

you noticed his three friends sitting on the bench getting up at the same time, playfully hitting heeseung’s shoulder as they all got excited all of a sudden. “wait here!” you saw them trying to leave and heeseung protesting. “you don’t come here often so you’re not allowed to say no!” you heard their mischievous tone.

“fine.” heeseung rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back his smile as all of his friends left for a bit. he took a seat on the bench the boys previously sat on, tying his shoelaces.

this was your chance... so you slowly approached him. your walking was weird and ninety percent of your well-being hesitated in this journey of yours — you wanted to take the first plane back home and lock yourself in your room.

ten meters... five meters... two meters...

“hi! sorry... um— can you take a photo, please?” you stuttered right in front of him. what the hell were you thinking?

he immediately lifted up his chin and widened his eyes in shock as soon as he became aware of you, not expecting to hear this question today.

“i’m so sorry, i’m not allowed to—”

seeing his awkward expression, you interrupted him. “no! not of you... haha. can you please take a photo of me? the view is really pretty.”

this was getting worse as seconds passed by. dear god. why were you so incredibly stupid?

dumb dumb dumb.

“oh! yes, of course. sorry, i thought you were a fan of mine. my company unfortunately doesn’t allow me to take photos with them.” he scratched the back of his head, clearly embarrassed with the way he answered your question.

“i see. well, i don’t know you.” you hoped your cheeks weren’t red from lying at this point. “are you a famous chef or something?” you let out a nervous laugh, your tummy was full of butterflies.

heeseung couldn’t help but chuckle at your question. a what? he thought. a chef? damn, i knew i shouldn’t have skipped leg day at the gym this morning. did you think he was chubby?

“sadly, no. but i wish i was.” his cockiness instantly came back and a smirk took over his face.

“well, it’s never too late to become a chef!” you felt like you could throw up as your whole body was cringing inside. but heeseung found it funny.

you opened the camera app, smiling shyly at the boy as you handed him your phone, careful not to touch his hand. he giggled at your phone case full of carrots. thank god you took out the photocard of him you kept in there.

“can you make sure the whole view is in the picture, please?”

“sure. no worries, leave this to me.” he smiled, positioning your phone better so he could start taking some photos.

sweet jesus, you were going to pose for him.

after all, you only live once. screw this.

you struck multiple poses and heeseung was quietly laughing at your goofiness. he hasn’t met someone that made him laugh at first sight in a long period of time.

“i’m out of poses!” sighing, you admitted honestly and walked towards him.

“it’s okay, i only took one hundred and twenty two pictures anyway.” the smile never left his face.

as he was about to give you back your phone, your screen automatically locked and the picture you had of him as your lockscreen popped up.

no. this couldn’t be happening.

“um, is that me?” he blinked.

one second later, the name ‘asshat’ made its appearance on the screen and the device started ringing, the familiar drunk-dazed remix bursting out of nowhere.

“hahahahahahahaha, no.” you laughed loudly to hide the sound of your phone and mentally thanked your best friend for calling you in the best moment possible.

you declined the phone call and acted like absolutely nothing happened, swiping through the photos heeseung had taken. most of them were zoomed in on your figure or on your face, but there were some wholesome ones that included the full view of the ethereal scenery.

“the photos are really good, thanks.” he smiled at your compliment. “you should quit cooking and start being a photographer instead!” you grimaced.

heeseung laughed out loud and you tried to hide yours too. this whole situation seemed like it was taken out from a comedy movie.

“i’ll try. thanks for the life advice! maybe you should be a model. or my muse. or both. the photoshoot was quite cool.” he started talking a bunch of nonsense. “like— not to be creepy or anything.”

heeseung was cool, charming and absolutely hilarious, but at the same time an introverted and hesitant guy. talking to his fans felt like the easiest thing on earth for him, his heart automatically opened up and he felt like he could tell them anything if they asked. but with attractive strangers... he wasn’t that smooth.

you, on the other hand, were head over heels for him.

“yeah. gimme a call!” you smirked, trying to look as confident as humanly possible.

“maybe i will.” he put his hands in his pockets and the whole air just changed.

“thank you again for the pictures, by the way. have a great day!” you waved clumsily.

“no worries. take care!” he waved back.

taking a last glance at him, you slowly began to walk away. you couldn’t comprehend what just happened.

“hey!” he exclaimed loudly. you almost had a heart attack but turned around to face him regardless.

“yes?” you raised your brows, sucking in a breath. please don’t mention the lockscreen.

“you have great taste in music, by the way.” he winked, referring to the remix of drunk-dazed you had as your ringtone, leaving you speechless. shit.

“why did i say that?” he whispered to himself as soon as he was alone, anxiously massaging his temples in complete stress.

notes: another short hee one shot because i’m a simp!!! nothing new <///3 this was also inspired by one of the bts works i wrote on my old instagram account lol. it’s nothing much but i hope you enjoyed reading hehe ♡ any reply / ask / feedback is super appreciated!! <3

#enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen x reader #enhypen one shot #enhypen fluff #enhypen x you #enhypen crack #enhypen imagine #enhypen scenarios #heeseung #heeseung x reader #heeseung au #heeseung one shot #heeseung scenarios #heeseung imagine #heeseung fluff #heeseung x you #heeseung crack

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: when the Avengers notice signs of Peter having a girlfriend, they suspect he’s not as innocent as he seems

Masterlist

“Hey Pete the treat.” Tony greeted Peter as he passed him in the hallway. “Have you seen my screwdriver with the orange handle?”

“Oh, yeah.” Peter remembered. “I used it to fix my web shooters. It’s on my desk in my room.”

“Mind if I grab it?”

“Would you listen if I said no?” Peter asked, assuming he knew the answer?

“Nope.” Tony smiled at how well Peter knew him. “I’ll go get it.”

Tony waltzed into Peters room and went straight to his desk, rummaging through the papers and sketches he had strewn about.

“Now where are you hiding?” Tony drummed his fingers on his chin as he looked around Peters desk. He opened the top drawer and found nothing, so he opened the next drawer and began to rummage around. After moving a notebook to the side, Tony found an unopened box of condoms among Peters things.

“Hm.” Tony furrowed his eyebrows at the surprising find. “Well it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

He put it down and continued searching through the draw before the box caught his eye again.

“Value pack?” Tony read off the box. “Jesus.”

He shut the drawer and found the screwdriver in the next drawer, mindlessly tucking it into his pocket. As he left Peters room, the box stayed in his mind. He walked into the living room and found the rest of the Avengers chatting.

“What do you guys think about Peter?” Tony wondered as he toyed with the screwdriver.

“I don’t think about Peter.” Sam deadpanned.

“He seems lonely, no?” Tony shrugged. “He could use a companion of the female variety.”

“We should set him up.” Steve suggested. “He could use someone.”

“I don’t know.” Nat scrunched her nose. “He seems too young to be dating.”

“He’s in college now. It’s about time he gets a girlfriend.” Tony decided. “I had dozens by the time I was his age.”

“Are we even sure he likes girls?” Rhodey asked.

“He complimented my hair color once.” Nat shrugged.

“There we go.” Tony nodded, getting excited now.

“What are you guys talking about?” Bucky asked quietly as he entered the room.

“We want to set Peter up on a date.” Steve told him.

“Parker? I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend.” Bucky said, making everyone look at him.

“What?” Tony asked. “No way.”

“Yeah. My room is next to his.” He shrugged. “He’s on the phone all night almost every night.”

“What?” Nat laughed in surprise. “With who?”

“Someone named Y/n I’m pretty sure.” Bucky went on. “I hear her name a lot.”

“Y/n.” Tony rolled it around his mind. “Interesting. I have to know more.”

“I think if Peter wanted us to know more, he’d tell us.” Nat clicked her tongue.

“And I think I don’t care.” Tony retorted. “I’m gonna find out more.”

That night, Tony sat in the dark as he waited for Peter to come home. He heard the elevator coming up and shivered with excitement at the incoming confrontation.

“Hey, Parker.” Tony dramatically turned on the light once Peter walked in the room, making Peter jump.

“Hi Mr. Stark.” Peter stammered as he took off his coat.

“Are you just getting back?” Tony asked coyly.

“Yeah, I was out with my…friend.” Peter shifted his eyes at the mention of you.

“Oh really?” Tony feigned a gasp. “What’s his name?”

“Her name is Y/n.” Peter said casually. “I was with her.”

“So I see.” Tony nodded. “Is she from school?”

“Yeah. She’s in my organic chemistry class.”

“So one might say you two have…chemistry?” Tony shrugged as he walked closer to Peter.

“Anyone with our schedules would say that.” Peter laughed nervously.

“Whats she like?” Tony persisted. “Is she pretty?”

“She’s great.” Peter smiled. “She can talk circles around me about just about anything. I don’t even know why we’re in the same class. She’s so much smarter than everyone in the room, even the professor. She’s just...she’s great.”

“So I hear.” Tony smirked. Peter completely avoided the “pretty” question, and that told Tony everything he needed to know.

“Hear?” Peter asked curiously. “What did you hear?”

“Thin walls, buddy.” Tony knocked on the wall. “Bucky told us all about your late night phone calls with your lady friend.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Peters face heated up. “I’ll be quieter.”

“You don’t have to be quieter.” Tony told him. “Bucky doesn’t deserve a peaceful nights sleep.”

“Why do you say that?” Peter asked.

“Because he murdered my parents. Night!” Tony threw up a peace sign before leaving the room. Peters jaw dropped a little before shutting. He quickly pulled out his phone and clicked on your contact.

“I think Mr. Stark is onto us” He texted you.

“Good. He can pay for our wedding 👀” You wrote, making him smile. He put his phone away and went to bed himself.

A few weeks later, Tony needed the screwdriver again and had an idea of where he could find it.

“Hey Pete. Did you use the screwdriver again?” Tony asked when he found Peter in the hallway.

“Yeah. It should be in the same place.” Peter informed him.

“Thanks.” Tony nodded and went into Peters room. He went to the desk, expecting to find the screwdriver in the same drawer it was in last time. When he didn’t find it there, he opened the drawer above it. Right on top of a pile of notebooks was the box from last time.

“I shouldn’t.” Tony sighed and chewed his lip. “But I’m feeling snoopy.”

Tony picked up the box and to his surprise, it was significantly lighter. Tony opened it up and peered inside, only to see it was nearly empty.

“Who did this to you?” Tony gasped. “Who took your goodies?”

Elsewhere in the tower, Peter was heading back to his room when he crashed into Natasha.

“Oh, sorry.” Peter apologized as he caught her before he could knock her over.

“It’s fine.” Natasha assured him, sniffing the air a little. “Why do you smell so good?”

“Hygiene is very important to me.” Peter straightened his shoulders to solidify his lie.

“Yeah, but,” she sniffed him again, “you smell fruity.”

“I’m a fruity boy.” Peter stated, regretting it immediately.

“Oh.” Natasha backed away a little, giving him a strange look.

“Not that kind of fruity.” Peter stammered. “I have to go.”

Just as Peter scurried away, Sam walked into the hallway.

“Am I crazy or did Peter smell like perfume?” Natasha pointed behind him.

“I don’t care.” Sam mumbled as he walked by.

“Romanoff.” Tony rounded the corner after leaving Peters room. “I think the Manchurian Candidiate was right. I think Peter has a girlfriend.”

“I think so too.” Natasha nodded. “He smelled like perfume just now.”

As Tony and Natasha exchanged evidence, Sam passed by Peters room just as he was going inside.

“Hey Sam.” Peter greeted before he shut his door.

“Don’t talk to me, Parker.” Sam mumbled without looking up.

“Sorry.” Peter chuckled and rolled his eyes, making Sam briefly look up.

“What’s that?” Sam narrowed his eyes when he spotted something peeking out over Peters collar.

“Whats what?” Peter asked as he pulled away.

“On your neck.” Sam caught his collar and pulled it down. “Is that a hickey?”

“No.” Peter said quickly as he covered his neck with his hand. “I burnt my neck with my curling iron.”

“Oh, okay.” Sam was satisfied with the answer. “Wait, what?”

“Bye Sam!” Peter stammered as he quickly shut the door.

Tony’s plans to interrogate Peter about his love life the following day were halted when he found Peters room empty. A quick check in with Friday showed Peter leaving earlier that morning with a few presents in hand. Tony sighed and went on with day, anxiously waiting for Peter to come home to get more information.

“Another late night.” Tony announced his presence as he flicked on the light. It wasn’t until after midnight that Peter had come back, so Tony waited him out in the living room.

“Oh, hi Mr. Stark.” Peter waved awkwardly, not having expected anyone to be there.

“Were you with Y/n again?” Tony asked casually.

“Yeah.” Peter smiled shyly as he shed his jacket. “It’s her birthday so I spent the day with her.”

“How come I never see her here?” Tony proceeded with caution, not wanting to overstep.

“She lives kinda far.” Peter shrugged. “That’s why we talk on the phone so much. I don’t want her driving all the way out here and she doesn’t want me swinging at night.”

“She knows?” Tony raised an eyebrow, not realizing they were at that level yet.

“Yes. But I only told her because I trust her.” Peter quickly assured him. “She won’t tell anyone. She promised me.”

“Oh, I’m not mad.” Tony smirked. “Trust is good. Especially in relationships, so I hear.”

“Yeah.” Peter smiled at the thought of you. “It’s good. We’re really good.”

“Have you told her you loved her yet?” Tony jumped to the point, taking Peter by surprise. “Because that smile on your face says you do.”

“I have.” Peter admitted as his face flushed. “And she told me she loves me too.”

“Aw.” Tony couldn’t help but smile at his protégé being in love. He was so moved that he took out one of his business cards and scribbled something on the back of it.

“Here.” He handed it to Peter. “Don’t abuse it.”

“Whats this?” Peter curiously looked at the number Tony had written in the card.

“It’s the number for my personal driver. One of them.” He corrected himself. “I always forget who I employ so I have about 18. This one makes unforgettable coffee cake, though.”

“Thanks Mr. Stark.” Peter smiled in appreciation. “But why are you giving this to me?”

“So you and Y/n can see each other.” Tony said simply. “And so more people can experience this coffee cake.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate this.” Peter said softly, knowing Tony wasn’t much for displays of affection.

“Don’t mention it.” Tony brushed it off. “Really, don’t. I don’t have enough personal drivers for everyone. I mean, I probably do, but I’m not known to share.”

“I won’t tell.” Peter nodded. “Goodnight, Mr. Stark.”

Tony have Peter a fond smile before nodding as well.

“Night kid.”

“Mails here.” Tony announced the following morning as the team sat around the kitchen table.

“Thanks for bringing it in.” Steve reached for an envelope addressed to him. “Who delivered it today? Was it Michelle or Rodney?”

“Michelle.” Tony concurred.

“Oh, nice.” Steve smiled. “I like her. She’s always friendly to me.”

“Yeah. Nice girl. Nice name too.” Tony put the plan into action. “That was the name of the first girl I ever kissed.”

“I remember my first kiss.” Steve recalled. “It was at a school dance when I was in high school. I bought her a milkshake after and she never spoke to me again.”

“What about you, Peter?” Natasha asked causally. “Have you had your first kiss?”

“Um, yeah.” Peter chuckled like it was obvious.

“With who?” Steve asked curiously, and the rest of the team leaned in to hear the answer.

“Um, my girlfriend.” Peter flushed a deep red as he avoided eye contact with the group. Everyone collectively let out a gasp at the news, making Peter flush even deeper. He looked up to a table full of dropped jaws and wide eyes and felt his ears turn red.

“Isn’t it neat?” Tony tried to take the attention off Peter. “The innocence of young love.”

“Yeah. Innocence.” Sam narrowed his eyes at Peter as the hickey on his neck suddenly made sense.

“When can we meet her?” Nat asked, and everyone nodded softly. Peter looked around in surprise, not having expected everyone to care as much as they did.

“You want to meet her?” He asked with a small smile.

“Of course.” Tony shrugged. “You’re on our team and if she’s your girlfriend-“

“She’s on our team too.” Sam concluded with a gentle nod. Everyone nodded in agreement, making Peters heart swell in appreciation.

“She was gonna come over so I could swing her around the city.” Peter told them. “I could ask her to come up and say hello.”

“I think you should.” Natasha encouraged. Peters lips twitched into a smile as he pulled out his phone to tell you to come up. Within a few minutes, you were coming up the elevator and Peters heart was pounding in his chest. He met you at the elevator and escorted you to the rest of the Avengers, his hand holding yours.

“Hi.” You smiled shyly as you met the team. “It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Steve said politely. “I’m-“

“Steve, right?” You smiled a little. “Um, Peter talks about you guys all the time. You’re also a little famous.” You chuckled, and everyone laughed as well, breaking the ice.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Steve smiled back at you. “So you’re the girlfriend? I can’t say Peter has told us that much about you.”

Peter looked at you anxiously, hoping you wouldn’t take that the wrong way.

“It’s okay.” You laughed and rubbed his shoulder. “We agreed to keep it on the down low. Plus, I doubt there’s anything about me that could impress the Avengers.”

“That’s not true.” Peter cut in as he twirled your hair around his finger. “You’re very impressive.”

“Tell us more.” Nat smiled as she leaned on her hand. Everyone watched you and Peters display of affection with childlike wonder, a collective peace settling in the room as they watched the baby of the team experience happiness.

“Y/n volunteers as a candy striper at the children’s hospital a few blocks from here. When she’s not with me, she’s there.” Peter bragged about you. “And she’s a lifeguard in the summers, CPR certified, valedictorian of her class, organ donor-“

“These are not impressive things.” You laughed as you cut him off.

“Yes they are.” Peter insisted. “She can make the worlds best brownies, her ponytails are always perfect on the first try, she can parallel park, she-“

“She sounds amazing.” Tony cut him off as he smiled at you. “And we’re very happy to finally meet her.”

“I just can’t believe the guy who watches Dance Moms in the living room with no shame actually has a girlfriend.” Sam snorted. “And a normal one too.”

“Why is it so surprising?” You wondered as you leaned on Peter arm.

“Because he’s so innocent.” Sam shrugged. “I doubted he ever even held a girls hand.”

“Wait, you thought Peter was innocent?” You laughed abruptly. “He literally webbed me to the headboard last night and-“

“Ah ah ah.” Peter quickly cut you off. “Some things are better left unsaid.”

“I think she should say them.” Bucky chuckled as he sipped his coffee.

“One time, he used his-“

“Well, Y/n and I really need to get going.” Peter cut you off and quickly ushered you to the door. “We won’t be out late.”

“It was nice meeting you all.” You called as Peter pulled you out the door.

“Nice meeting you too.” Tony yelled back. He and the team exchanged knowing looks, a collective happiness for Peter settling among them.

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8K notes · View notes

havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

Text

in which you’re harry’s assistant and harry needs to open his eyes.

a/n: ASSISANT!YN has finally arrived! this took me three weeks and a half to write, so please enjoy and kindly rb with feedback! i’ve had this concept in mind for SO long, and i’m proud of it! this is also inspired by my love for the barcelona pic, pictured on the left, that I think about on the daily along with some thoughts in a dressing room! also picture on the right at the final show is an aspect in the story as well!

also big thank you to my bestie @stylesloveclub for screaming and hyping this up for me while I rave about it, ily!

enjoy a long slowburn of 26.3k words of a friends to lovers fic that’s filled with angst and some smut! genuinely be ready for the angst hehe

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALKING ABOUT WANT YOU HERE! i’d love to know your thoughts and feedback!

pls rb to share! <3

16 December 2017

The smell of fresh flowers brought allergies to your senses as you shuffled and continuously rubbed your nose with a tissue.

You were at the flower shop with two bouquets in your hands as you debated which bundle to get. You were given specific instructions to find a bouquet that’s full and big with the color white being the dominant color of the bouquet, and your options were a white orchid bunch, which weren’t your personal favorite, but it was one of the white bouquets, and your other option was a white lilac bouquet with a couple of white roses and baby’s breath around the large lilacs.

“Do you need help choosing a bouquet?” The lady that was named Vicky asked. She had an expression of curiosity as she was probably wondering if you were going to buy anything since you’ve been standing in the corner for quite some time as you tried choosing which bouquet to get.

“Oh, no. Thank you,” you replied back with a smile, and she nodded her head, walking away to help another customer, but you knew she was going to be back to ask you again in the next ten minutes if you don’t make your mind up right now.

After another three minutes of deciding, you opted for the white lilac bouquet, and headed to the cashier. You gave the employee your number for rewards since you were at the flower shop quite a lot that you’ve managed to rack up some points in order to get a free bouquet. Once you paid and were on your way, your phone rang in your purse. Struggling to reach for it as you were holding the big bouquet and a few shopping bags, you moved to the side to set your paper bags down on the ground, and quickly grabbed your phone so it won’t go to voicemail.

“Hey,” you answered cheerfully, knowing exactly who it was.

“Hi there. Where are you?” The voice from the other end asked.

“I just left the flower shop—should be there soon.”

“Okay, perfect. Thank you for everything.”

“Harry, you don’t need to thank me every single time,” you chuckled. “I’m your assistant. It’s my job.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…I’m grateful for what you do,” he said thankfully.

“I know, and I’m grateful for having this job and working for you. So, thank you also.”

“Look who’s saying thank you now,” he joked, and you laughed. “But I’ll see you soon. Walk back safely, please,” he said, bidding you goodbye.

“Always do. See you,” you hung up the phone, picking up the shopping bags, and walking towards Harry’s place.

You’ve been Harry’s assistant for quite some time now; exactly two years. You started working for him when you were both twenty one, and he had just gone separate ways from the band. Harry was in the midst of writing his very first album and planning his first world tour as a solo artist in smaller theatre venues, and desperately needed an assistant to do some basic errands and remind him of his scheduling. Luckily as Glenne’s friend, you were in need of a job. You were fresh out of college as you had your bachelor’s in public relations, and being friends with someone who’s boyfriend is in the industry has its perks.

Glenne had immediately recommended you once Jeff mentioned that Harry was looking for an assistant, and since Jeff had met you a handful of times, he told Glenne to call you in for an interview, but somewhat knowing that he was going to hire you already since Harry desperately needed one and you were a friend.

When you walked into the interview, you were greeted by Jeff and Harry. That was your first time meeting Harry, and you were quite shocked that he was a real person. Of course you were a fan of him, and you were still surprised whenever Glenne talked about him, but when you saw him for the first time, you immediately thought that he was more gorgeous in reality.

“So nice to meet you,” Harry said, shaking your ring filled hand. The coolness of his metal rings met your shaky hands, and sparks had immediately shocked your body.

“Great to meet you too. I love your shirt,” you complimented. He was wearing a bright blue button down shirt with a cherry blossom print on it with a white t-shirt underneath along with some black skinny jeans and brown boots.

“Thank you. Your trousers are very nice,” he said back, looking down at your pants. You were wearing burnt orange corduroy pants with a white semi turtleneck blouse with a pussybow tie on it, along with some black booties. “Actually, I love your whole outfit,” he added, and you chuckled, trying to hide your blush.

Never in a million years would you have thought you would meet Harry, let alone Harry complimenting your entire outfit. You’re really living the dream.

The interview went extremely well and only lasted about thirty minutes. The first ten minutes were some generic interview questions because they still had to keep it professional, but the last twenty minutes consisted of asking about your interests and simply getting to know you because you would spend most of your time with Harry.

At the end of the interview, it was quite obvious Jeff and Harry knew they wanted to hire you. They loved your personality and how you made jokes, especially how you laughed at Harry’s jokes, which he thought was a very important aspect of being his assistant.

Jeff exited the room, telling you he would be right back, but really he went into his office to grab some paperwork for you to sign. That left you and Harry in the conference room alone as you made conversation with him about university. You also told him that you were a fan of his, which you thought was a mistake to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t want a crazy fan to be his assistant and practically have access to his personal life, but he said gratefully said thank you, and asking if you had a favorite song off new released album. Your favorites off his album were ‘Only Angel’ and ‘From the Dining Table.’

“Good picks,” he teased.

“I would hope they’re good picks. It is your album,” you teased back, making him laugh, and he thought that it was a great choice making you his assistant.

Once Jeff was back, he opened a folder, taking out various paperwork before Harry broke the news and told you that he’d love for you to be his assistant. You hadn’t expected to be hired on the spot, or be hired in general, but there you were, reading over the contracts and signing your name at the bottom of the last page along with the date. Jeff and Harry both shook your hands, telling you that they were excited for you to be along with the ride, and you told them that you were excited as well.

You had thanked Glenne a million times for getting you an interview, and till this day, you always made sure to thank her because one mention of your name had gotten you an opportunity and a well paying job that you actually really loved.

Harry also made the job bearable; not truly treating you as only an assistant, but rather a friend who helps a lot. Throughout the years of knowing each other, you and Harry had grown quite close. With always being around him, it was like hanging out with him, and you were thankful for that because you were sure no other job would feel like this. Harry also doesn’t give you difficult tasks either. He just has you go on coffee runs or run to the store to grab him something, but the most work you’ve had to do for him was to call several people on his guest list for a party he was hosting last year or write out his whole schedule for the entirety of the year. But nothing strenuous that would leave you frustrated with him.

He would also make sure everything that he assigns you to do is okay for you to do, and you really appreciated that, but you would do anything for that man.

You stood in front of Harry’s door, setting your bags down onto the floor before you reached into your purse to grab your keys where a spare key to Harry’s place hung on the metal ring. Before your hand could even find them, the door swung open revealing Harry smiling at you, looking impeccably sharp in his suit, which caused your heart to flutter.

“Ah, thought I heard you. Here, let me help you,” he grabbed the shopping bags from the ground and the flowers from your hands, leaving you empty handed as you followed behind him into his home. “Thank you for getting these. I’ve just been so busy lately,” he thanked once again as he did on the phone.

“Yeah, I know. Afterall, I am your assistant,” you teased, and he laughed as he studied the bouquet.

“This is a lovely bouquet. Good pick,” he said, and your mind immediately goes back to when he said that to you for the first time at your interview. He said it quite often as you ultimately always make the decisions when he asks you to go out and grab something for him.

“I thought so too. Also,” you opened one of the shopping bags, taking out the garment bag before unzipping the entire thing, “I got the exact dress you asked for, and get this: it was the last one in her size. Lucky man, you are, Harry Styles,” you handed him the Yves Saint Laurent black dress so he could get a better look at it, and he held it up, smiling.

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much, angel,” he said, and you slightly blushed from the pet name that you would never get used to.

Harry started calling you ‘angel’ when you were two months into working for him. With all the work you do for him, the pet name had slipped out, but it stuck once he kept calling you that. You loved it--a lot, and you hoped that one day, he wouldn’t forget to call you that because you would miss the simple name coming out of his mouth very much. Plus, it was fitting because your favorite song of his is ‘Only Angel.’

“Are you excited for tonight?” You asked.

“Yeah, I am. It’s been a while since I’ve properly taken her out on a date, so I’m stoked for it. Pretty sure she is too.” Harry had a busy schedule. With being involved in interviews and promo for his upcoming tour, he was a busy man, which you knew of course. But it had affected his personal life greatly.

“Well, I’m happy if you are. I hope she loves the dress,” you said painfully.

“She will. She’s been talking about it for a while now. I just hope she didn’t go buying it without telling me because that would be really awkward once I tell her to go change into this,” he chuckled softly, and you joined him, agreeing. Harry quickly checked the time on his phone as it read 6:30 p.m, and he carefully placed the dress back into the garment bag and zipped it up. He grabbed the bouquet of flowers and his wallet on the counter. “I gotta go. Gonna be late if I don’t leave now. Lock up for me if you decide not to stay, yeah?” You nodded, walking him to the door as if it were your house. “Oh!” He turned back around because he had forgotten something, and you were holding up his keys already, and he chuckled. “Thanks again. You’re a lifesaver. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” he leaned in to give you a brief kiss to your cheek, which he has done often, and you waved at him.

“Have fun tonight! Call me if you need anything,” you called out from his front door and he waved the flowers as a sign of goodbye before getting into his car. You watched him reverse out of his driveway and drive off to his girlfriend’s house.

With a sigh, you closed the door, looking around at what needs to be done. Harry’s place was relatively clean. He just had some things laying around on random surfaces, and you think that was probably because he was in a hurry, so he just placed them on the nearest surface. If Harry were here, he would probably tell you that cleaning up his own mess was so unnecessary and that he doesn’t expect you to, but you know that he’s grateful you’re doing it anyways.

You were silent as you tidied up his house, putting things back in his closet, and washing the bowl of yogurt and fruit he eats in the morning. It was an unnerving silence, and you just wanted to make any kind of noise just to fill the quietness that was slowly eating you away. You grabbed one of his shirts off the ground that slipped off the hanger, and you brought it up to your nose. His scent filling your senses as you closed your eyes, taking his smell in. You inhaled enough to practically take away his entire scent that was left on his shirt to fill the satisfaction in your body as you pretended he was close.

As you did that, you uncontrollably sobbed into the material, letting out a heartbroken cry as you covered your face with his shirt. You slowly sank down to the floor, completely sitting down on the cold tiles. The sudden outbreak of your cries weren’t new; they had made their appearance when he left for dates or after he was done talking about someone he liked. When you would go out to the store and grab things he wants gifted. When he would call you angel while he was with the devil who was keeping you two apart.

Once you calmed down a bit, you thought about how hugging his shirt was the closest you would get to him as you wished you were the lucky person he would be greeting them with his presence and a pretty batch of flowers, but he doesn’t even know your favorite flower.

It was the next day, and you woke up in the comfort of your own bed.

You had taken an Uber home around ten p.m the night prior as you figured Harry was still on his date and perhaps wouldn’t be coming home till later. So, after watching a movie on his couch and having dinner, you turned off all of the lights and locked up as you headed to your place for what you hope is a relaxing night.

A weird feeling had taken over you as you got ready for bed and it felt strange. You knew you weren’t yourself, and you hated that. The outburst of your crying was long forgotten as you climbed into bed and slept the day away.

Once you had woken up from your deep slumber, your charged phone was ringing with your text tone. Groaning, you stretched your body from the tenseness from your sleep before you reached for your phone, unplugging the charger. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a bit as the brightness of your phone was straining to your vision. When your sight had cleared up, you were greeted with various messages from Jeff, asking if you had heard from Harry or if you’ve seen him. Going to Harry’s message, you hadn’t received anything, so you texted Jeff back and told him that he hadn’t contacted you and the last time you saw him was last night. Jeff immediately texted back, asking you if you could kindly go to his place and check if he was there, and you instantly said yes, a bit worried as Jeff seemed to be worried as well.

You got out of bed for the day, not wanting to leave, but knowing you had responsibilities, you got ready for the day, doing your normal hygienic routine.

It was Sunday, and usually on Sundays, you didn’t have much work to do since it was Harry’s day off as well. That is, if it’s not on tour, he gets a nice little day to himself. So, you chose a comfy outfit—one where you wouldn’t sweat so much as you walked to Harry’s house in the summer heat. You opted for a big t-shirt and pairing it with black biker shorts, and some sneakers. With one last look in the mirror, you were out the door and headed to Harry’s house.

The day was beautiful as the sun was out and the sky was blue. Rarely any clouds to overcast the sun, and there was a slight breeze in the air, making the walk more bearable so you wouldn’t sweat all that much.

Once you got to Harry’s house, fortunately, it wasn’t that far of a walk from where you live, you unlocked the door and walked in.

“Harry?” You called out, looking around the living area. His shoes that he normally wears out are by the couch, so he should be somewhere. He might still be asleep, you think. You walk up the stairs to his room, knocking lightly before entering. And what you saw was something you wanted to erase from your memory forever. “Oh, fuck! Sorry!” You immediately slammed the door as you stood still outside of his room, in disbelief of what you just saw.

You had just witnessed Brooke giving Harry head. They were both obviously naked, and her actions were on full display too because the bed faced the door and Brooke was on the side of Harry rather than in front of him as she had his dick down her throat, and of course, Harry had his head back, simply enjoying it because what guy wouldn’t.

You heard shuffling through the door, and that took you out of your spaced out mind; quickly walked down the stairs and to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water, feeling yourself get flustered from how bare Harry was in front of you.

“God, does she ever learn how to fucking knock?” You heard Brooke faintly say as they both walked down the stairs, most likely thinking you didn’t hear, but you definitely did as her voice echoed throughout the whole fucking house. “Hey, girl,” she smiled once they both made it to the kitchen, and it was the fakest smile you’ve ever seen. No wonder she’s a good actress, you think.

“Hi,” you said back, sipping your glass of water as you avoided eye contact with Harry.

“Hi. What are you doing here? Do I have to be somewhere today?” He greeted, but immediately asked questions as if you were invading his privacy and day off. You looked at him very briefly, but remained your sight on his marble counter.

“Uh, no. Jeff told me to come here and check on you; said that he hadn’t heard from you, so he was worried,” you explained, glancing up and Harry nodded.

“Oh, okay. The last time I talked to him was before I left, but I hadn’t checked my phone since. Was it anything urgent?” You shook your head, realizing Jeff never really explained why he needed Harry, but you brushed it off.

“He bought me this lovely bouquet of flowers and a pretty dress for dinner!” Yeah, I know. I was the one who got them, you thought. “Then he took me out on a boat ride, and we came back here-”

“Spare me the details? I already know all of this. I am his assistant afterall,” you said in a not so friendly tone, interrupting her and not wanting to know the details of what happens in his bedroom that entails Brooke. Usually, you weren’t so harsh to anyone, but you had a reason to be a bit stern with Brooke because she bites back. Unfortunately for her, you bite back even harder.

Harry and Brooke have been dating for what seems like forever, but it’s really only been about six months. You tried being nice to her--you really tried, giving her your patience, but every time you see her, she would act cold towards you. Of course not in front of Harry because he thinks she’s an absolute saint, but she was the complete opposite of that. She was the devil and you were the angel. But of course, Harry doesn’t see that.

Brooke gives you a harsh look, rolling her eyes a bit as Harry grabbed a glass of water for both of them. She turns to him, giving him a big smile before reaching up to kiss his lips, knowing exactly what she was doing in front of you. She then took a sip of her water, hugging Harry before she said, “I gotta go. Have a meeting at ten. I’ll call you?” Harry nodded, walking her to the front door, giving her one last kiss before she was off and Harry shut the door. You scoffed to yourself as you watched them, rolling your eyes in a way to attempt to hide your pain.

Harry walked back to the kitchen, leaning on the counter, matching your stance.

“I’m sorry you had to walk in on us-”

“Harry, it’s fine. I should’ve waited before I knocked,” you tried to get rid of the thought of seeing Brooke’s mouth on Harry. That was the first time you’ve walked in on him like that--fully bare on the bed while in action. Brooke was probably his first serious girlfriend in years, but he’s had some one night stands here and there, which he called you in the morning to pick him up. It wasn’t your preferred task to do because of the pain you would always feel when you would see him walk out of the house he just slept in, but then again, he is your boss.

It was a bit quiet between you two, and Harry thinks that it’s because you practically saw his dick on full display. Partially it was for that reason, but it was also the way Brooke would treat you almost every time she sees you. Harry thinks back to when Brooke was in the house, and he could practically feel the anger from you when she was there.

“You know, you could be a little nicer to her,” he stated, recalling what you said to Brooke and how you said it.

“Well, she could be nicer to me in general,” you raised your brows, waiting for what he has to say about that.

“She is nice to you. She always talks about wanting to invite you places, but she comes back sad because you’re always so quick to turn her down.”

“Brooke has never invited me anywhere. In fact, she’s never said a word to me unless you were there,” Except for that time a couple of months ago when you two had a little chat that ended up with you in tears at the end of the night. You laughed as you were in disbelief that she would actually lie to Harry that she actually wanted to be friends with you.

“What? No. She’s always talking about wanting to get to know you more, but you just shut her down,” Harry’s brows furrowed, and you laughed even more. “W-What’s so funny?”

“Harry, you would know if she would have talked to me because I would’ve told you, but your girlfriend has never mentioned anything other than…” you trailed off as you stopped laughing, not wanting to overstep or overshare some of things that Brooke has really said to you.

“Other than what?” He noticed that you cut yourself off.

“Maybe ask her if you wanna know. I gotta get going,” you said, brushing it off as if it didn’t matter to you as you avoided his suspicious eyes while you headed for the door. “Make sure to call Jeff too. Oh, uh,” you turned around to find him following you to the front door, “Did you need me to do anything for you while I’m here?” You asked, still knowing that he was your boss.

“Oh, hmm, no. Don’t think so. Enjoy your day,” he said, and you got off of his doorstep.

“Bye, H-,” you were interrupted by the sound of his door closing. You raised your brows in confusion as Harry never really interrupted you, especially not like that. He would usually wait for you to get in your car and pull out of the driveway, but he didn’t even wait for you whatsoever.

You tried not to make it a big deal because you figured he was frustrated and probably a bit pissed that you weren’t so nice to Brooke, but how could you cover up her lie like that especially if she was so mean to you? You grew some thick skin when you first started working for Harry, and that meant that you learned how to stand up for yourself no matter who is talking to you, not even Harry’s girlfriend.

You groaned; on the topic of Harry’s girlfriend: how could he possibly think she’s a nice person? She put up such an act in front of him, and whenever he’s not around, that act is the complete opposite.

When will he realize what’s right in front of him? That’s been right in front of him for years now. You were tired of meeting his new love interests and picking him up from other people’s houses when he could be at yours without worrying about going anywhere or leaving because the morning would be spent cuddling and making breakfast together. Oh, how you envied the people he got to hold onto tight and freely kiss as you wished for those lips to land on you as he called you angel.

The thought was driving you insane because you wouldn’t dare tell him whatsoever. Afterall, he was your boss and it would be awkward if he didn’t feel the same way. But you think he would never see you in that way, so you keep your mouth shut and hold your heart close as you just go with the flow despite the pain you feel.

20 December 2017

Harry was laying on his back breathless as Brooke collapsed right next to him, deeply sighing as she tried catching her breath.

“How does it get better every single time?” She giggled as she was in a post orgasmic state. She shifted so she was laying into Harry’s side, cuddling him as he wrapped his arm around her. He smiled, kissing the top of her head. Brooke’s hand roamed his chest as it was her way of showing that she would like to go for another round.

She started kissing his chest and his neck, and Harry wasn’t opposed to the idea, but the sound of his phone vibrating on his bedside table had killed the mood.

“Don’t answer it, please. Want you again,” she sat up slightly and buried her head more into his neck as she kissed and sucked his skin. He was so close to listening to her, trying to block out the sound of his phone, but as it kept vibrating, he realized he couldn’t ignore it.

“M’sorry,” he sat up causing Brooke to pull away as she groaned, laying on her side of the bed. Harry picked up his phone and Brooke had a little peek at who was texting him. He had changed your contact name from your name to your nickname ever since he started calling you ‘angel,’ and it’s been the same ever since. He loved it; it added a little flare and he would always smile when he sees your contact name pop up on his phone.

“Does she always have to make an appearance at the worst times? Or in general?” She asked, but the last part was definitely muttered under her breath as Harry was too focused on reading your texts. Harry had sent out a text a few hours after you left on Sunday, saying that he was sorry for being rude and practically slamming the door on you. You had texted back saying that it was okay, and that you were sorry for being rude to him too. There were no rude remarks towards him, but your tone had said otherwise, and you knew that you could’ve handled that conversation better.

My Angel: Hi, H. I was wondering if you wanted to do some suit fittings before you leave to go back home or after? Let me know so I can tell Lambert and Harris.

“Sorry. She’s just wondering if I’m available to do some suit fittings for the upcoming tour,” he said to Brooke before texting you back.

H: Preferably after the holidays. We’ll do it right at the beginning of January.

“Isn’t she your assistant? Why doesn’t she just schedule it already?” She asked cluelessly.

It wasn’t like Brooke was stupid. No, she was smart. But there were some things that didn't click for her, which makes Harry and anyone have to explain things twice. She would usually have her assistant do everything for her without confirmation, and Brooke would just go with it.

“Well, I still have to approve of it, love. Can’t just book me without me knowing,” he chuckled slightly.

My Angel: Okay, perfect. I scheduled the fitting for January 4th. That’s okay right? I know you’ll be back before New Years, so I just wanna make sure.

He always loved how you were so cautious about everything. Sure, he wanted you to let loose sometimes and not take everything so seriously, but you two were a perfect team because you need to keep him in check sometimes, but you did let loose and have fun off the clock.

H: Yeah, should be good. Thank you, angel. xx

My Angel: That’s what I’m here for! You don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow before you leave. Do you wanna get some coffee before your flight? Say at 8?

He smiled down at your text. Brooke noticed, which made her furrow her eyebrows in confusion, so she started rubbing his back and his stomach as she tried getting a look at his text messages. Once she saw a bit of it, she climbed on Harry’s lap.

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow before you leave? I’m gonna miss you,” she pouted slightly, and Harry had only glanced up at her very briefly before looking back down at his phone as he was in the middle of responding to your question.

H: Sure! That’d be great. The usual spot?

My Angel: Yes, the usual :) see you then, H!

He grinned before locking his phone and placing it back on the bedside table. He looked up at Brooke who was impatiently waiting for him to give her attention as she had her arms crossed.

“Well?”

“Oh, sorry I’m actually getting coffee with Y/N,” he frowned slightly, somewhat feeling bad rejecting her offer.

“You don’t wanna see me before you leave?” She asked in an annoyed tone, getting off his lap to sit beside him on the bed.

“W-What?” He said in disbelief. “You’ve been sleeping over since Saturday. That’s why we planned for you to stay here until I leave right?” He stated obviously. They clearly talked about her sleeping over after their date on Saturday until he leaves to go back home for the holidays. So, he’s wondering if she’s missed something or she’s just acting like this to get a rise out of him.

“You think four days is enough? You’re gonna be gone for two weeks until I have to see you again, and you would rather spend your time-”

“Four days is a really long time! And I’m seeing you for New Years. I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Harry got off the bed and pulled on his boxers.

“I’m just saying…she’s already your assistant. Why do you have to spend so much time with her?” Brooke asked as she got under the covers as she watched Harry pull on his sweatpants.

“She’s also my best friend. Where is all of this coming from? Are you jealous or what?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes, and Harry furrowed his brows.

“Please. Like I could ever be jealous of her. All I’m saying is that I just want to spend all the time I can get before you leave, or I can go with you back home…” she suggested, and Harry perked up.

“What? You want to come with me?” She nodded eagerly as she smiled.

“Yeah, why not? We can spend the holidays together, and it’ll be fun. What do you say?” She crawled over to the edge of the bed where Harry was standing, and she sat on her knees as she looked up.

They’ve been dating for six months, and Harry hadn’t introduced her to his family. It wasn’t like he didn’t like her or he was embarrassed that he’s dating her, but that was a really big commitment that needed a lot of thought put into it. Meeting the family is just a big step for him, and although his family has met his previous partners, that was when they were still friends and not together. But with Brooke, it all happened so fast that his family had never met her when they were friends or hooking up. They obviously know he’s dating someone, but to bring them home? Especially on Christmas? He wasn’t ready for that.

“Maybe some other time. I’ll talk to them to see if they want to come over here for my birthday or something,” he rejected her suggestion. Home was just something so vulnerable to him that he wouldn’t just bring anyone.

Brooke sighed deeply, “Okay, I’ll hold you to that,” she said, impatient that she hasn’t met his family yet, but he’s met hers. “How about I come with you tomorrow morning to get coffee?” She looked at him as she pleaded with her eyes.

He knew that you wanted to spend time with him before the holidays and he wanted to as well. But Brooke obviously wanted to see you as much as possible now that he’s denied her suggestion of coming home with him, but she had been sleeping over for the past four days, which Harry thinks is enough time.

“I’m sorry, but no,” he said as it came out more like a question as he didn’t want to seem rude by saying no to her. Throughout the months of dating Brooke, he learned that she hates when people say no. Obviously, it’s fine when he says no to sex, but he could tell that it really frustrates her. “I haven’t seen her in a few days because I’ve been with you the whole time, so I think it’ll be good to catch up with her before I leave,” he smiled lightly, trying to make light of the room.

“Sure. Have fun,” she said sarcastically before heading to the restroom.

Harry sighed, grabbing his duffel bag from the closet before he started packing. He was simply just excited to see you tomorrow and his family over the holidays.

21 December 2017

You waved over at Harry once you saw him standing at the entrance of the coffee shop. Harry walked over to you with a beaming grin as he looked incredibly handsome. He wore black circular sunglasses that sat on his nose, a blue hawaiian shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath as a brown coat was thrown over his body. He wore his famous black skinny jeans and his famous brown Yves Saint Laurent boots that you know he has a whole collection of. His hair looked amazing as he recently cut it a week ago, and it’s starting to grow out a bit as the ends of his hair started to curl.

As he was close enough, you snapped yourself out of your trance of checking him out before you stood up, giving each other a hug and a cheek to cheek kiss.

“How are you, angel?” He asked, taking his coat off before taking a seat, and setting his coat down on the chair next to him.

“I’m good. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and ordered for us. Should be out soon.” You had gotten Harry an iced black coffee, and despite the weather, he was always up for an iced beverage, especially when it came to his coffee; and you had ordered him a coffee cake--the coffee house’s specialty.

“Of course not. Thank you. So, you’re going back home right?” He asked, placing his arms on the table. Right as he asked, the drinks and food had arrived and you waited for the barista to leave before you answered.

“I might,” you said, taking a sip from the coffee mug.

“What do you mean you might? Told me that you were going,” he furrowed his brows in confusion because you two had just had this conversation the other week, and you were excited to go back home.

Home was in Oregon for you, and you moved out when you were eighteen to go to school in New York. It had always been your dream of moving to the big city, and although you loved Oregon, New York had made space for you to have a home as well.

“I mean, I was. But you know how I’m saving to buy a house right? Well, flights are expensive, especially when it’s around this time,” you explained.

“I can always-”

“No, no. Before you go saying that you’re going to buy me a ticket, don’t even waste your breath because I’m not taking it,” you shook your head, and Harry chuckled.

“C’mon, please? I know how excited you were to go back home. Don’t want you to be alone during the holidays,” he pouted as he cut into his coffee cake.

“I told mom the situation, so they might come here for a change, but not definite yet--was just a suggestion. But honestly, I don’t think they will because it might be too late and all that, y’know how they are,” you chuckled, knowing how late your family will be if things happen last minute. “Don’t worry though. Glenne asked if I could take care of Penny, and I said yes if I’m not going home,” you said, smiling at the thought of the shih tzu that Glenne and Jeff own.

“I mean, you can always come home with me,” he put it out there, and your eyes perked up.

“W-What? No. I can’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s not like I would be buying you a plane ticket either. We’ll be using the jet,” he smiled lightly as if there were no meaning behind his words.

“God, you just don’t know how rich you are--saying shit about your own fucking jet,” you teased, and he laughed loudly.

“But really. Think about it. Mum would love to see you again and I know Gems has so much to catch you up on,” he said, taking a sip from his straw.

You had met Anne and Gemma several times as they often visited sometimes or you would fly home with Harry and hang out with them while he’s working. They were a lovely family, if not, your second family, you would say. They were the kindest people you’ve ever met, and you’re so grateful that Harry was raised by great people surrounding him.

“Really, H. Thank you, but I’m going to pass that up. I’ll probably just suck it up and buy a plane ticket,” you scoffed slightly at your indecisiveness.

“Alright. Well, if you change your mind, which you have practically a day to figure it out, let me know and I’ll see what I could do with the jet going back here,” he said with a smile, wanting you to have choices rather than being stuck at home all alone during the holidays.

“Thank you, Harry. I appreciate it.”

The rest of the hours spent at the coffee spot was filled with conversation and laughter. Luckily, Brooke wasn’t one of the topics during your time together, and you were glad for it. Harry was also happy you didn’t mention Brooke either because he just wanted his mind to rest during his vacation, and not to say that he doesn’t like her, but it can be a bit stressful to communicate things with sometimes.

“Oh, you have to head to the airport already,” you said, looking at your phone and realizing that he has about two hours to head to the airport. “Do you have everything packed?” You asked as you two stood up from your seats and put your coats on. Harry put on his sunglasses, hopefully a way to avoid the curious eye of the public. Luckily when you two were having coffee, no one approached him, but there were some looks made towards you two, but none of them walked up to the table.

“Yeah, you have my shirts right?”

“Yup. They’re in my car.” Once you two made it outside, you were parked on the curb and Harry’s car was about three cars behind you. You took Harry’s shirts out from the backseat that were folded very nicely and ironed. You had borrowed a couple of shirts from him when you would sleepover and had forgotten to give them back to him, but Harry said it was fine for you to keep until he needed them. “Alright, here you go. Don’t need anything else before you leave right?”

“Actually, if you’re not busy doing anything, do you want to drop me off at the airport? I can call ahead of time and tell them that my driver isn’t going to take me, so we have access to the back,” he said with hopeful eyes.

“Oh okay, sure,” you smiled softly.

“Great,” he gave you a big smile before looking down at his phone, and you assumed he was texting Kyle, his driver, that he didn’t need to pick him up anymore. “Okay, I’ll see you at my place? I just have to get my shit.”

“Okay, race you there! Wait, no, just kidding. Really, drive safe,” you chuckled, and Harry laughed.

You met Harry at his house which was only about ten minutes from the coffee shop. His car was already in the driveway when you had pulled up, and you just decided to wait outside by your car for him, popping open the trunk. A few minutes later, Harry came out with his duffel bag, locking the door behind him.

He put his stuff in the trunk before hopping into the passenger seat of your car, and you were off to the airport.

Traffic was a bit heavy, but you made it just in time for Harry to check in and get settled without having to worry if he was late or not. You had pulled into an underground garage of the airport, and got out of the car as Harry got his stuff out from the trunk.

“Guess I’ll see you on New Years?” You stood in front of Harry behind your car. He nodded before taking you into your arms.

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Let me know if you’re going back home or if you decide to join us,” he said into your ear as he hugged you tightly around your waist. Your arms were looped around his shoulders, giving him a warm squeeze.

“I will. Have a safe flight, and text me when you land,” you said back into his ear.

“Always do.”

Both of you pulled away, but his touch had still lingered on your arm; raking his hand slowly down your arm as he walked away, and you had wished you weren’t wearing a coat with many layers underneath just so you could feel his hand on your bare skin.

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased. Harry turned around and smirked; the one that made your stomach do flips.

“You know I will. Gonna miss me too?” He asked in return.

“Always do, H. Always do,” you blew a kiss at him, and he caught it, placing his hand on his heart before walking through the doors.

You sighed as you got into your car before pulling out of the garage and driving back home.

It may seem a little peculiar on how you two ask towards one another despite him having a girlfriend, but it’s always been like that between you two. It all started when you were at a party right beside Harry, and a few friends of his went up to you two and asked when you two were going to get together. At that time, your heart stopped because you had just figured out that you had feelings for him. But Harry responded with “until she lets me,” and it was meant to tease you, but it had left you in confusion.

Since then, you two would tease each other and somewhat act like you were together, but it had died down a tad bit ever since he’s gotten a girlfriend. And although Harry is a natural charmer, you two were best friends, so there was a tad bit platonic flirting between you two.

But you wished that he would see past the best friend line and assistant line.

31 December 2017

The cold air from the room had made goosebumps rise onto your skin, although it seemed warm in the room from the crowd that was gathering rather quickly while the music started becoming louder, and chatter and laughs filled the room.

You were talking with Glenne and observing the people around you at the same time; everyone was wearing their best attire for the new year, and you were as well. You were wearing a red silk dress that hugged you just right as the material in the back dropped to your mid back, showing almost the entirety of your back. You wore nude four inch heels, feeling like the height of your shoe was enough so you weren’t completely struggling to walk throughout the night. And your makeup was sparkling with gold colored eyeshadow and a red lip. You looked hot, and you knew it.

One of Jeff’s friends had booked a hotel room on the top floor, literally right next to the ball drop, so everyone can just look out the window rather than going outside in the freezing weather.

It was nice to dress up after being cozied up throughout Christmas. You had decided to go back home after all, buying your plane ticket right when you got home from dropping Harry off at the airport. It was a bit pricey because of the fact that you were buying the ticket a day before the scheduled time the flight is supposed to take off, and considering that it was the holiday season as well. But you had gotten a Christmas bonus unexpectedly, and everything worked out.

You enjoyed your time with your family and getting to spend a week with them before you had to leave for New York again for New Years.

You also hadn’t expected to receive a gift from Harry on Christmas morning when your mom was passing gifts out. With a confused expression, you took the big box from your mom’s hands that was wrapped in red and white festive wrapping paper with a bow on it. Once you opened it, you had softly gasped when you saw the items inside; it was all of your favorite things, including some extra items Harry had picked out for himself. He had gotten you a much bigger planner, for the next year, that will help for work, and you smiled, knowing that he had remembered you talking about how much you wanted the planner so badly. The box also contained some of your favorite snacks, little Knick knacks that reminded him of you, and a velvet rectangle box that held a small diamond pendant attached to a thin gold chain.

It was absolutely stunning, and Harry must’ve spent a lot on it, but he didn’t mind. He thought it was going to look so beautiful on you, and it made you feel special that you were wearing something so meaningful from someone that means so much to you.

The gold chain sat perfectly on your collarbones, and you hadn’t taken it off ever since you received it; only when you showered, but you put it right back on after.

The volume of the room had increased, and you turned your head towards the door and found Harry walking in with a bright smile on his face, and of course, Brooke right alongside him with her arm looped with his.

They looked absolutely stunning together as they walked inside the building as they greeted everyone with big smiles. They radiated perfection and luxury as everyone’s eyes were on them as if they were a piece of art hung up high in the gallery--worthy enough to be looked at. But your eyes were placed on one person in the room, and you so wished you were right beside him instead of her.

The couple had made their way through the crowd when Harry spotted Jeff in the corner. With Harry leading the two of them with their hands interlocked together, they greeted Jeff and Glenne before Harry let go of Brooke’s hand to give you a hug.

“Hey, angel,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he slightly picked you up off the ground. His hands met the exposed skin of your back and he felt goosebumps rise onto your skin as his cool metal rings touched your skin.

“Hi, H. How are you?” You asked against his ear and he set you down on your feet before pulling away.

“Good, good. Missed you.”

You blushed, “Miss you too. Also, thank you again for your present, it was so thoughtful and lovely.”

“I’m so happy you liked it. Thank you for yours as well. I love it a lot,” he beamed as he looked down at you. You had given Harry three presents. The first one being a black soft leather journal with his initials engraved in the middle and spine of the journal in gold. The second gift was a manicure set because he recently started to paint his nails, so you wanted him to have all the tools and colors he needed. The third gift was a photo album of his success (you also threw in a couple of you and him). You told him that he can look at it anytime he wants, but it’s just a reminder of how proud you are of him and how far he’s gone; and you would be adding more in the future. It had made him tear up a bit as he found the gifts to be so sweet and sentimental of you.

“Hi, Brooke,” you greeted with a small smile, and you saw her face beam as she hugged you, but you knew that it was definitely a fake one to put up an act in front of her boyfriend.

“How are you, girl?! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” She yelled over the loud music.

“Good, thanks. How are you?”

“Great! Did you see what Harry got me for Christmas?” She waved her arm out to show you the diamond bracelet that sat on her wrist. It was very beautiful, you had to admit. It was very Brooke, and you were glad Harry didn’t ask you for any help with trying to find her a Christmas present.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you excused yourself, not really wanting to be around her much longer as she smirked and tried to flaunt her gift in your face. But you didn’t let it get to you because you truly loved the gifts Harry had gotten you, and it made it extra special because he put so much thought into it.

You made your way to the bar, downing the remains of your drink before asking the cute bartender for another one.

“Having fun?” He asked with a smile as he set your drink down onto a black square napkin.

“Sure, let’s just say that,” you chuckled sarcastically before throwing your head back to take the entire cup of alcohol down your throat.

“Thanks,” you set the glass down before walking away.

You wanted to go back to where Glenne was standing, but you had bumped into some friends that you had met through Jeff on your way, so you had to catch up with them and tell them everything that’s going on with you after they told you their whole life story.

The hours to the new year went by pretty quickly. You ended up hanging out with a few friends and going outside with them to have a smoke. The alcohol and weed had eased you, and you actually had a really fun time with them. The idea of Brooke clinging onto Harry had left your mind and you loosened up, smiling and dancing along with drinking.

There were five minutes left until midnight, and everyone was gathered next to the window that overlooked Times Square. The volume in the room was loud as everyone screamed and laughed—excited for the new year.

You were standing next to Harry, and of course Brooke on the other side of him. Glenne and Jeff were on the left of Brooke, and both of the couples had their arms around each other as the only thing you were holding was a glass of tequila as you didn’t have anyone to celebrate the new year with.

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!” Everyone chanted, and you chuckled, laughing at your loneliness when there were so many people around you. Your eyes watered up, crossing your arms as you looked at the shining lights through the window.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” The sounds of cheers and party horns erupted in the room as people took each other against their lips.

You slightly glanced right next to you and saw Harry and Brooke kissing lovingly as she smiled into the kiss, along with Jeff and Glenne.

You turned away, looking out at the window as you raised your glass. “Cheers,” you whispered to yourself before throwing your head back and consuming your tequila shot.

Everyone was so consumed in one another that nobody noticed the tears streaming down your face as the loneliness you had felt physically and mentally took over.

4 January 2018

Harry was standing on the elevated box in front of a mirror. He was wearing a sparkly pink suit with gold lining on the seams, along with a gold shirt with a pussybow. Harry Lambert was behind up, straightening out the jacket.

You had sat on the couch of the large private dressing room as you observed. Harry looked at you through the mirror, giving you no emotion. You smiled, but he didn’t smile back; only looking away and taking his attention on the suit. You furrowed your brow, confused as to why he was looking at you like that and so coldly.

You stood up, walking over to him. “It looks great, H.”

“Thanks,” he said quickly.

“Think you can dance in it?” You teased as you smirked, trying to add some sort of lightness to see if his cold looks were accidental.

“Pretty sure,” his tone was very short, and your smirk fell.

“Wait right here. Just need to get something really quick for the pants,” Harry Lambert said before walking out of the dressing room.

There was a moment of silence, and Harry pulled on the suit jacket so it sits nicely on him. By this point, he would’ve asked for your opinion and for some reassurance because sometimes he needs those extra words that tell him it doesn’t look too much or weird on him. But you got silence.

“Is everything okay?” You asked warily.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?” You still weren��t convinced enough.

“Yes, now can you please stop asking me? Fuck,” He rolled his eyes, voice slightly raised.

“What is your problem?” Your brows furrowed.

“What my problem is, is that you won’t leave me the fuck alone nor would you stop talking. I’m just trying to do some fittings, but you wouldn’t stop talking,” he huffed. He didn’t even turn around, just kept looking at himself in the mirror.

You scoffed, grabbing your bag from off the couch. “Don’t fucking ask me to come with you if you didn’t want me here.” You headed for the exit before turning around at the last second. “And next time, look me in the eye and tell me that shit,” you said before you completely exit the building and head towards your apartment.

You’ve never been so annoyed before, and that says a lot because you deal with a lot of people from the industry and Brooke. You didn’t know what came over him because he’s never talked to you like that nor has he raised his voice at you. With utter confusion, you sat on your couch, taking off your shoes for the day since you didn’t have any other work to do for the day, and you thought going with him to his fitting was a waste of time if he was going to act all pissy on you.

Only moments later, you heard a knock on your door, and you immediately knew it was Harry probably coming by to tell you that he was sorry and he didn’t mean to say those words. But words are words and despite not meaning to say them, they still came out meaning that he was thinking it. But since this was Harry, the kindest human you’ve ever met, you opened the door because he’s your best friend and you deserve an apology.

Huffing, you opened the door to find Harry standing on your doorstep with his head down and a slight frown to his face. Without saying anything, you moved to the side, opening the door wider for him to walk through, which he does. You walk over to the couch and take a seat; Harry sitting on the other side. The fact that you weren’t saying anything was killing him, but he doesn’t blame you. You crossed your arms as you waited for him to say something, and he inhaled deeply before he spoke.

“I’m sorry for what I said back there. I shouldn’t have taken all my anger out on you because you don’t deserve that whatsoever. You were just trying to make sure I was okay, and I really appreciate that,” he resented himself for acting that way towards you. His eyes were red and he looked quite sad, and you want to know what made him originally feel this way.

“Why were you so mad to begin with?” You asked curiously, and he sighed as you brushed away his apology.

“Brooke and I have been fighting--ever since New Years. She claimed that I was always hanging out with you and that I left her at the party to be with you, but that’s not true right? I feel like I barely saw you during the party,” his brows furrowed in confusion. He was right; you barely even hung out with him during New Years because you were some other friends, and the only time you really spoke to him was when he arrived and after the countdown, but that was it.

“Why is she so…” you trailed off, not wanting to sound so offensive towards his girlfriend.

“You can say it.”

“Possessive? Obsessive? Threatened by me? I mean I get that you’re her boyfriend, but I haven’t done anything to trigger that, have I?” You tilted your head as if you were thinking. You were never the one to steal someone’s boyfriend because that wasn’t any of your business; no matter how much you liked that person. But your attitude towards Harry was very much best friend-like. You miss him on days when you don’t see him, you give him big hugs when you reunite, you give each other friendly kisses on the cheek in a way to say ‘thanks,’ but it was never meant to steal him away from her.

“No, you haven’t. I don’t know… I feel like she’s always had this problem with you because you’re my best friend, but also assistant--the closest person to me. I always tell her that she has nothing to worry about, but she doesn’t trust me for some reason.”

“I’m sorry, H,” you said, placing your hand on his knee in a way to comfort him. He placed his hand right over yours in a way to say ‘thank you for understanding.’

“I should be the one apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong. I really am sorry for how coldly I acted towards you,” he softly smiled, and you gave him one back.

“It’s okay. Was it unnecessary? Yes. But it was one time,” you forgave him.

“You’re the best. But I should get going to finish up the fittings,” he said, standing up from the couch. You stood up, walking him to the door. “I’ll see you?” You nodded, giving him a big hug. He embraced you with both arms as he squeezed tightly before he walked out the door. You figured there was no point in going with him since he only has a couple of suits to try on, so you stayed back.

About thirty minutes later, your phone vibrated. Seeing Harry’s contact name, you smiled to yourself.

H: Attachment: 2 images

How do these look?

You chuckled. He had sent you mirror pictures, holding up a peace sign as he was in a sparkly blue suit.

My Angel: You look like Cinderella lmao

I love it!

Harry smiled. He was about to text you some silly joke about being Prince Charming while you’re the princess, but he heard a voice at the door, making him stop what he was doing.

“Hey, babe!” Harry looked up and saw Brooke walk in. His eyes widened as he turned around, and she gave him a kiss.

“W-What are you doing here?” He asked, confused.

“Jeff said you’d be here, so I decided to surprise you!” She said cheerfully, holding his hands.

“O-Oh, I’m very surprised,” he chuckled nervously. He didn’t really know why he was nervous, but possibly the fact that if he hadn’t snapped at you, then you would still be in the room, which would have raised questions and yet another argument with Brooke.

“I figured after you’re finished, we could get an early dinner and you could come back to my place?” She suggested. “Think we need to talk about some things.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I have about two more suits, so you can wait outside-”

“Silly! No, I’ll wait here,” she took a seat on the couch you were just sitting on thirty minutes ago. He nodded without saying anything before he proceeded on to his next suit.

You looked down at your phone on Harry’s message thread, waiting for his reply. You saw the text bubbles pop up and you smiled, waiting for him to say some corny joke, but they went away. You waited for a moment, so they could pop back up, but they didn’t. So, you shrugged, locking your phone, and wondering if he got caught up in something, so he couldn’t reply.

1 February 2018

It was Harry’s birthday and the crowd was rolling in.

He decided he wanted to spend his birthday in Los Angeles since most of his friends are there anyways. Plus, it’s a small get together before the tour starts next month and then he would be all over the place. He wanted a semi small party at his house, nothing too crazy, he just wanted everyone he cares about at the party. Anne and Gemma flew in the day before to join in on the fun, and you were excited to see them because you missed them like crazy.

“Angel! This party is great! Thank you for keeping it so nice and small,” Harry said, giving you a hug. He also handed you your favorite drink, which is a whiskey on the rocks.

“I’m happy you like it, birthday boy,” you smiled as you watched everyone gather into his Malibu house. There were about thirty people in total that were on the guest list, only adding people Harry was close to.

“Ah, there’s mum and Gem. Let’s say hi,” he told you, and you excitedly smiled, walking towards the door.

“Mum!” Harry called out, and Anne’s eyes lightened up.

“Oh, my baby! Happy birthday, my love,” she kissed his cheeks as he hugged her.

“Hi, Gems,” he greeted his sister, also giving her a hug.

“Happy birthday baby brother. One more year and you’ll be a quarter of a century,” she joked, and Harry chuckled.

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m so happy you guys are-”

“Y/N? Is that you? Oh my god, come here you!” Anne interrupted Harry once she saw you. Her eyes widened and she was smiling like crazy as you walked towards her, giving her a lovely hug. “Oh, darling. It’s been a while since I saw you!”

“Yeah, it really has been. You both still look so amazing,” you said, giving Gemma a hug.

“Please, you’re too sweet to us. How have you been? Don’t want to quit just yet because of this one?” Anne joked, nudging Harry as he playfully rolled his eyes.

“Heyyy,” his brows furrowed, and Anne pinched his cheek.

“I’ve been good. And not yet. Give me about five months and we’ll get back to this conversation,” you joked back, looking at Harry to see him frowning. You looped your arm around his waist, giving him a hug, and he stopped frowning; his face turning into a small smirk.

“Let’s definitely catch up later. I’m going to say hi to Jeff and Glenne. Be right back,” Anne said before walking through the crowd, Gemma following her.

You and Harry were alone again as you two sipped on your drinks. Some people said hi to them, but not making conversation for too long as they wanted to get another drink or food.

“Is Brooke here? Haven’t seen her,” you asked curiously. Harry’s face dropped, and you looked at him confusingly.

“Oh, fuck,” he pinched the top of his nose as he looked down, shaking his head.

“What?”

“I totally forgot she was coming,” he said, and you fought the urge to laugh.

“How did you forget your own girlfriend?”

“I don’t know--I was just so focused on the tour and this party that it slipped my mind that she was coming,” he sighed.

“Oh okay. What’s so bad about her being here?” You wondered.

“That means she’s gonna meet mum and Gem.” Your mouth formed an ‘o’ as if realization struck you, and Harry nodded his head as if he was saying ‘yeah, that’s why.’

“Better prepare for that because I could already hear her laugh,” you placed your hand on his shoulder, patting it. Harry took a deep breath and downed the rest of his drink before he walked over to the entrance. You chuckled as he did so as you found it amusing that he had to do that to deal with her.

After you heard her squeal, which meant that Harry had gone up to her already. You started walking towards the entrance door, and you saw them hugging; she then started jumping and kissing him, whispering into his ear and biting her lip as he gave her a smirk.

As you watched from the sidelines, your heart started to ache. You wished that it was you instead of her. You wished you could whisper all things sweet and dirty into his ear as he looked at you with a smirk before biting his lip. You wanted him to give you the same smile he gave her, although you were starting to see less and less of that smile. You wanted what she had.

But you would never get that.

“Hey, you,” Gemma sneaked you from behind you, causing you to slightly jump. “Sorry,” she chuckled.

“It’s okay. What’s up?” You smiled, trying to hide the pain in your eyes.

“You’re not going to tell him, huh?”

“Tell who what?” You raised your eyebrows, pretending to be oblivious. Gemma gave you a knowing look as she raised her eyebrows.

“You know what. Not gonna tell him at all?” You sighed, shrugging your shoulders as you turned your head back to them. They were posing for some pictures with their arms around each other’s waists. They took a couple: smiling ones, funny ones, and even a kissing one. You turned your head back to Gemma once they started to kiss for a picture, and she softly smiled at you.

“There’s no point. He’s with Brooke, and it’s not like he’s ever going to like me or get with me,” you sadly explained. Gemma looked at you as if you were totally wrong. “If he’s happy with Brooke, then why would I ruin that for him because of my selfish reasons?”

“It’s not selfish for wanting to tell someone you love-”

“I don’t love him,” you immediately interrupted.

“Y/N…c’mon,” she raised her eyebrows, knowing you’re completely wrong.

“Okay…” you sighed in defeat, and she chuckled, continuing what she was saying.

“You’ve known him for what, two years? That man makes sure you’re a priority. He makes sure you’re happy. If you could hear the stories he tells us and how he talks about you, you would think otherwise,” she stated before taking a sip of her drink.

You stay quiet for a moment and think. Was there any way that Harry could have possibly liked you? There’s no way. You hadn’t noticed anything different about his behavior in the past two years you’ve known and worked for him. So, there was no way he could’ve liked you. And you know you’re only telling yourself that now, so you don’t lose your shit at his birthday party.

“W-What does he say about me?”

“Maybe you’ll know some time in the future if you tell him,” she challenged, and you rolled your eyes, causing Gemma to laugh.

After Harry and Brooke managed to get away from the entrance, you and Gemma saw them walking towards you both.

“Y/N, hi!” She greeted you with a not so surprising high pitched tone; only because Harry is right next to her. She also gave you a hug, which you only put in half the effort like always. Harry smiled at both of you, and she let go.

“Gems, where’s mum?” He asked his sister.

“Think she might be in the back,” she replied, looking at Brooke for a brief moment before looking back at Harry.

“This is Brooke,” he introduced his girlfriend.

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Brooke said with a big smile on her face, giving Gemma a hug. Polite as Gemma is, she hugged back.

“You too,” Gemma simply said.

“Should we go to the back and find mum? Brooke wants to meet her,” Harry asked, and Gemma nodded before walking towards the backyard.

You stayed back, realizing that you weren’t needed and you didn’t have any business following them for Brooke to meet Anne. So, you walked over to the kitchen to grab a plate of cheese and crackers. Since the kitchen was right next to the large doors that led to the backyard, you looked up and saw Brooke jumping up and down slightly as she greeted Anne with a hug. You saw Anne smiling, hugging her back before they pulled away and started talking. Harry looked at them so fondly as they spoke.

“Hey,” a voice next to you had startled you, making you slightly jump, taking your attention away from what’s happening in the backyard. Luckily, not dropping any of your food.

“Hi,” you said back to the man you don’t know.

“I’m Alex. One of Jeff’s friends. I don’t believe we’ve met yet,” he shook your hand, smiling.

“I don’t think we have. I’m Y/N,” you nicely said back.

“So, how do you know Harry?” He asked, grabbing a grape.

“I’m his assistant, and best friend.”

“Oh, shit! Special person I’m talking to, right here,” he smirked. Alex was cute and very attractive, but it wasn’t the same kind of smirk that you’ve been in love with for two years.

“Hardly,” you scoffed before giving him a small smile as a way to tell him you’re somewhat joking.

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. By any chance, you want to go somewhere to sit and talk?” He proposed hopefully. It wasn’t a bad idea whatsoever. You needed to make new friends and possibly make some new connections. You also didn’t want to depend on Harry all the time when you wanted to talk to someone because he’s busy, and his girlfriend doesn’t like you. So, you nodded.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiled, leading you to a more quiet area of the house, which was the sitting area.

Meanwhile as you were chatting with Alex, Harry watched Brooke interact with Anne with a smile, but he still felt a weird feeling in his chest, like he’s happy about it, but he’s still wary. He brushed that feeling off, looking around and wondering where you were--if you’re having a great time. He turned his head towards the kitchen, and saw you talking to Alex. Smiles were placed on both your faces, and Harry frowned. He knew Alex was charming him up because that’s what he does. Alex technically wasn’t a bad guy, and Harry’s known him for a few years. He was nice, attractive, and can charm the shit out of someone just like Harry. But the sight and thought of seeing him actually charm you did not sit well with him. It really didn’t sit well once he saw you following him out of the kitchen.

Harry took deep breaths, trying not to let the thought of you possibly enjoying hanging out with Alex as he carried on with his birthday night.

6 February 2018

A deep sigh was let out once you sat in your seat on the plane.

It was cold in Los Angeles and you knew the flight back to New York was going to be a bumpy one considering the weather in both cities, so you dressed comfortably, wearing grey sweatpants, a black sweatshirt, and some white sneakers. Your headphones had been plugged into your ears ever since you were cleared at TSA.

As you got comfortable in your seat, Harry sat next to you, sighing. You obviously didn’t hear it because your headphones were in, but you definitely heard it the second time when he did it louder. You didn’t do anything, just browse on your phone until he dramatically sighed again, even louder this time.

“What?” You said, taking your headphones out.

“Why are you ignoring me?” He immediately asked, and your brows furrowed.

“Ignoring you? Why would you think that?”

“Well, for starters, you haven’t really spoken to me since my birthday. What’s up with that?”

“Well, I didn’t really have to, did I?” There was no reason for your somewhat sarcastic tone and it’s not like you weren’t mad at him or anything, but you were exhausted from flying back and forth, plus doing your job. It’s not like you were ungrateful, but sometimes, you just needed a break, and that included, not talking to anyone.

“You could’ve just answered my texts saying you were okay and that you weren’t going to be on your phone,” he scoffed, and you knew he was right. You were about to say you were sorry until he muttered something else. “Too busy with Alex, I see.”

“What?” You asked in disbelief, knowing he said what you heard, but wanted to clarify.

“You were, right?”

“What does this have to do with Alex?” You were starting to grow frustrated.

“I mean, I saw you two at my party, and you two left together and stuff. So, you were probably busy for the entire week,” he said casually, scrolling through his phone as if you weren’t fuming right next to him.

“It was one night-”

“Are you saying you had sex with him?” He turned his head towards you with raised eyebrows. He had this look on his face that told you he knew everything, but he just wanted to hear you say it. So, you did.

“Yeah. So what if I fucked him? Is there something wrong with that? Didn’t get a little birthday sex? Don’t worry, I had some for you!” You tried containing your yells, but it came out like a loud whisper. Luckily there weren’t that many people on the plane; only the people who flew first class.

It was true. When Alex had suggested talking, you found out that he was a very nice and funny guy. The night was getting late, and you said you were going to head home (which was a hotel), so he offered to drive you since you took an Uber, and that led to you inviting him up to your room and him gladly saying yes. It all happened so quick. You had immediately kissed him once you closed the door, and that led to him taking both of your clothes off before he fucked you. It was average sex, but you had fun considering that it’s been a while since you’ve had someone fuck you. That morning he left, telling you to text him, but you hadn’t and you don’t know if you will.

Harry stayed quiet, looking back down at his phone, and you shook your head, sitting correctly, and looking out the window, knowing that this was going to be a long flight.

Just as you knew, the ride was bumpy, raising your fear and anxiety as you held onto yourself for dear life. You turned your music up, put your hands into your sweater, and crossed your arms in a way to calm you down and feel like someone is holding onto you. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the songs until you felt a hand on your arm. You opened your hands, and saw Harry with his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t sleeping. He had always held your hand when you two would fly together and there was turbulence. It was something he did that made you feel safe and comfortable during the flight.

You smiled softly, taking his hand in with your as you shifted closer to his seat despite the middle console in between you two. For the rest of the flight, you weren’t as scared.

Once you two landed, Harry’s driver was immediately outside in the designated area, and you two were taken back to your place before there was any cause of commotion at the airport. Harry helped you with your bags, walking to your front door.

“Hey, I’m sorry for everything on the plane,” he said as you looked for your keys in your purse.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too--for not replying to you and for snapping at you on the plane as well,” you said back. “Can I just ask why you were so...angry I was with Alex?” You wondered.

“I…uh,” he stumbled over his words, trying to find the right thing to say without it coming out like he was a jealous prick. “Just...Alex is known for charming the shit out of you, so he could sleep with you, but seeing as you already slept with him…”

“Harry, isn’t it my job to decide who I can and can’t sleep with? I get that you want to look out for me, but just let me decide that, alright?” You said softly, and he nodded.

“Think I was jealous,” he blurted out, and he immediately closed his mouth and widened his eyes once he said that because he really didn’t mean to.

“W-Why?” You looked at him concerningly, and Harry took a deep breath because now he had make up an answer because god knows what the truth is.

He took a step forward, looking at you so intently. You felt like he was staring you down, but you didn’t look away as you were so lost in his eyes that it physically made it difficult to even glance the other way.

Next thing you knew, he was inches away from you, glancing down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You held your breath as you looked up at him, looking extra close at the pinkness of his lips. Your chests were pressed so close against one another that you were sure he could feel your heart pounding through his. It was so loud that it rang through your ears—so loud you couldn’t hear anything else except for the constant chanting in your head screaming ’Harry, Harry, Harry.’ It was Harry that you wanted to kiss so badly. It was Harry who’s lips you could touch in an instant if you were to just lift your feet. It was Harry. It always has been.

But you couldn’t.

Brooke.

You immediately stepped away from him as your eyes looked down, finally away from Harry. “I’m sorry-”

“No, I’m sorry-”

“Because Brooke, and-”

“Yeah…”

You nodded, not sure what to do next, but seeing as you were still outside of your door, you finally got your keys out, and unlocked it.

“Well, I’ll see you.”

“Yeah, I’ll text you,” he said as he started walking backwards away from your apartment.

You nodded. “Yup. Bye.” He waved, turning around and walking down the hall.

Walking into your space and bringing your luggage in, you sighed as you closed the door. It was completely silent as your mind was racing and your heart was beating.

What the fuck just happened and what the fuck was that?

3 March 2018

The first show of Harry’s tour was kicking off, and you were excited for him. He was slightly nervous and jittery, but that was expected.

The ‘moment’ you two had when you came back from Los Angeles after your birthday was past you two. Although, you still think about it way too often, Harry seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it, so you respected that and didn’t bring it up. Besides, what was there to talk about anyways?

The first show started in Basel, Switzerland and you were very stoked. You’ve never been to any of the countries he’s going to play in besides London and some cities in the states, so it was going to be an adventure for you. For his very first tour that included small venues, you rarely went to any of the shows, so to say you were excited was an understatement.

You were with Harry Lambert, looking at the first show suit in the stylist room. It was a Gucci black sparkly suit with gems on the lapel. You hadn’t seen this particular suit on him yet because you weren’t at the fitting the day he tried it on, but you absolutely loved it. It gave everyone just a hint of what the rest of the suits for the tour will look like.

“Har—oh,” Brooke had entered the room, assumingly looking for Harry, but was disappointed when she saw you. “Have you seen Harry?”

“Uh, I haven’t. He might be out on the stage,” you said honestly, and she nodded, turning around. But before she could exit the room, you called her, “Hey, Brooke.” She turned around, rolling her eyes. “I just kind of want to mend things between us. I feel like there has always been some sort of tension ever since we met, and seeing that you’ve been around for long and might be around for even longer, we should be civil towards one another.”

“Well, obviously there has been. You’re trying to steal my boyfriend,” she said straightforwardly, and you raised your eyebrows, looking at Lambert. He was looking at Brooke with a not so friendly look, knowing that you would never do that despite knowing that you were in love with him. “I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. You will never get Harry. He’s in love with me, not you. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do. You will never be enough for him because you’re just his assistant. That’s all you are to him. Don’t think you’re more than that, okay?” She said with a smile, and you bit your lip, not wanting to argue with her.

There was something about her words that really got to you, and you think that’s because she’s actually dating Harry and has managed to weave her way into his heart.

“I’d hate to continuingly have to tell you this, but I think the first time was enough, right? Now you’ve made me tell you twice,” she continued as she scoffed. “Anyways, I need to go find my boyfriend,” she turned around but suddenly stumbled back as she was met with Harry. “Oh, Harry. I was just looking-”

“Don’t even speak right now,” his eyes were dark and he was angry.

It wasn’t like you to see Harry so often considering that he sometimes deals with rude fans and pushy paps, but he was mad.

“I-”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Trying to degrade my best friend and assistant?”

“Har-”

“We need to talk,” he told her, leaving the room. She turned around to look at you with sad eyes, but you simply couldn’t help her, not like you would anyways. She followed him, and the room was left with a weird tension that needed to be cut with a knife.

“Well, wasn’t that interesting,” Lambert said.

After about thirty minutes, Harry walked back into the room. He stayed complete silent and started undressing to get into his suit since there was thirty minutes left until he had to go on. You and Lambert looked at each other, not knowing if you two should say anything, but decided to keep your mouths shut and let him get ready.

Once he was dressed, he thanked Lambert and walked out of the room; once again with the same tension being in the air. You walked out as well as you debated whether or not to talk to him, but you saw him and the band gathering together, so you figured you could just talk to him after.

The show had finally started, and the band was going out on stage. The crowd was roaring like crazy as the anticipation of seeing Harry was finally coming to an end. Once the band was fully equipped, Harry started to climb up the stairs. Around the stage it was dark as the beginning of ‘Only Angel’ started to play. You turned on your flashlight on your phone, and called out for him.

“Harry!” He turned around, holding the railings of the stairs, and his expression was normal; no smile or anything. “Goodluck out there!” Once you had said that, the corners of his lips turned up as his mouth turned into a soft smirk.

“Thanks, angel,” he said before pointing up as a way to say ‘listen to the song.’ “This is for you,” he quickly told you, running up the stairs and to the stage before the big circular screen rose up.

You watched the rest of the show from the side of the stage, not too far away from the front of the pit. He was spectacular on stage; he truly belonged there. He charmed the crowd, made them laugh, scream, cry, and dance their hearts out for an hour and a half, and you were truly amazed. The atmosphere of the venue was insane, loving every second of it.

Once he finished with ‘Kiwi,’ he said his goodnights to Switzerland before running off the stage and meeting the band, talking about how crazy and fun the first show was. He told everyone that it’s only going to get better from here, and everyone nodded and high fived excitedly.

After a few minutes, Harry walked to his dressing room to cool off, and you followed behind him. It may seem as clingy, but you were concerned for your best friend. A lot went down with Brooke in just a few minutes, and you wanted to know if he was okay, despite not showing any signs of sadness or anger on stage.

You knocked on his dressing room door and opened it before you heard ‘come in.’ Harry looked up, and saw you peek your head through the door, and he gestured you to come in all the way, which you did.

“That was an amazing show, H,” you complimented.

“You watched?” He asked surprisingly.

“Yeah, didn’t miss a moment. I was on the side of the stage.”

“Oh, well. Thank you,” he said.

There was a moment of silence as you tried to form your words on how to go about talking to him about what had happened before the show.

“I-I just wanted to ask if you were okay?” You started. He took a seat on his couch as you stayed standing up in front of him. “I’m sorry for what happened before the-”

“Why are you saying sorry?” He asked, looking up at you as if he was genuinely asking.

“I...I don’t know what happened with Brooke, but if something did happen then I’m sorry,” you nervously. The only reason why you were so nervous was because you hoped that he didn’t get mad at you for whatever happened with her.

“You didn’t do anything, angel. You did nothing wrong at all,” he sighed, and you stayed quiet as there was definitely more of what he wanted to say. “But I did break up with her.” Your brows raised at that, and you fought the urge to jump and cheer.

“Y-You did?”

“Yeah. I kind of wanted to a few weeks ago, but I never got the chance to. But before the show, she gave me another perfectly good reason why we shouldn’t be together, so I ended it.” There wasn’t a hint of sadness on his face as he told you.

“What were the other reasons?” You hadn’t known that he wanted to break up with her before the events that happened today. You would expect him to talk to you about it, but you weren’t hurt by it.

“I…” he cut himself off, and you waited patiently to see if he was going to say something. After a few more seconds, you saw him debate with himself to see if he actually wanted to tell you, and you wondered if he trusted in that sense; to talk to you and tell you things that were on his mind, but you didn’t want to get into it with him.

“Are you okay?” You asked instead, truly wanting to make sure.

“I should be asking you that.”

“No-”

“Angel, c’mon. Behind closed doors, I didn’t know half the shit she was saying to you. I told her to fess up everything she’s done to you, and she did. Let me tell you, I was not happy at all that you had to deal with that without me knowing. And that fact that she lied to me about asking you to hang out and pretending to be nice to you--no wonder why you didn’t want to hang out with her.”

The first time you had hung out with her was when you had to pick up some lunch and dry clean for Harry. They had only been dating for two months, so you thought it was best to get to know her since you were Harry’s best friend. You asked if Brooke wanted to go, and she hesitantly said sure, but when Harry thought that was a great idea, she perked up to it and said yes. When you two were in line for lunch she had asked you the basics of your job before rudely interrupting you and telling you that she knew that you were in love with him. Before you could even deny, she wasn’t having it and told you that you weren’t good enough for him and that you were only hired because you were Glenne’s friend. You were quite devastated after that and you faced Harry everyday with a smile on your face, but with the lingering thought of her words in the back of your mind.

“Yeah, she wasn’t my particular number one person to hang out with,” you said sadly, and Harry sighed, standing up. He walked closer to you, and it felt like that time when you got home from the airport, and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Her talking shit about you was the last straw. Can’t have anyone talk to you like that, ever,” he said while looking into your eyes as if he was trying to convince you.

“I am really sorry that you had to go through a break up though--especially on your first night of tour. Plus, it was your first serious relationship you’ve had in a while,” you felt bad because no one should go through the pain of a breakup.

“It’s alright. Wasn’t in love with her like she said--didn’t even say those words to her. And it was her idea of wanting to meet my family. I was still wary about it, but that was one of the subjects for most of our arguments,” he sighed. “But I’m gonna be much happier without her. Felt like I was always stressed out around her,” he chuckled, causing you to as well. “But if anyone that I know talks to you like that ever again, please don’t hide that from me. I hate knowing that you were taking all of that shit, especially for months.” You nodded your head and he gave you a smile.

He pulled you in for a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. You two stayed like that for a moment as you both felt like it’s been a while since you two has had one of these hugs. All thoughts and worries flew out of your head--not thinking about when the next time you’ll have one of these types of hugs again, and you felt safe in his arms.

And you cherished it.

30 March 2018

Tour was going by rather quickly as the first ten shows were already done with.

You were able to see some beautiful sightings of the countries with Lambert and some of the band, and throughout that time, you had wished Harry was with you all, but for obvious reasons, he couldn’t be out in public so casually.

Everything you’ve seen was so beautiful and your jaw dropped everytime you would look at a tall and high building, or the skyline of the entire city. You were quite amazed.

Now, everyone was in Barcelona, and it was by far one of your favorite cities that you’ve visited. You loved the atmosphere and the ambiance that walking through the streets of Spain had placed a beaming grin onto your face. You were only staying for a couple of days before everyone had to pack up and head to Madrid, but you made sure to snap a mental and physical photo to remember your time in Spain.

But rather than spending your day on the streets, roaming around the beautiful city, you were currently looking for Harry because Lambert was also looking for him, and of course, you decided to help find him. You pretty much checked every room backstage besides the bathroom, and you didn’t really think to check the restroom, but he might be in there, so you made your way towards it.

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in,” you said once you entered the restroom.

The sight before you had made you sweat. A series of butterflies made its appearance in your stomach, making your hands shake. The slightest bit of air from swinging the door open had made chills rise onto your skin, but you knew that it was because of the beautiful man in front of you.

You had walked in on Helene taking pictures of Harry, possibly so he could post them on Instagram. But he was candidly looking into the mirror as he sprayed on his Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille cologne; the one that you had picked up for him multiple times, and the one that you think smells amazing, specifically on him. He strutted around like it was made for him, and it was honestly your favorite scent. His suit was a custom Palomo black and white checkered sequined suit that just looked fucking good on him.

“No worries, sweetheart. Just about finished. He’s all yours,” she winked at you before heading out of the bathroom.

“What’s up, angel?”

“Just wanted to tell you that Lambert is looking for you. Said he needed to fix up a stitch really quick before you go on stage,” you said, not meeting his eyes.

“Is that all?” He asked, sensing your nerves, and he knew that it was possibly from walking in on him, doing a mini photoshoot because he knew he looked good.

You gulped, “Y-Yeah.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” he challenged, walking closer to you, but not too close as there was a bit of space between you two.

“Uh-”

“Tell me,” he shifted even closer, making you nervous. You didn’t know where the sudden outbreak of him being somewhat flirtatious as he demanded you to tell him came from, but the sound of his raspy and deep voice, and the way he was looking was making you act up as you were about to confess your feelings towards him.

You figured it was time as you felt like he sensed that kind of vibe from you, plus Brooke mentioning that you were in love with him, which you think you’re pretty sure he heard, but you’re wondering why he hasn’t

“I-I want to tell you something, and this may potentially ruin things between us, but-”

“There you are!” The sound of someone else’s voice in the room and the banging of the room had interrupted you, and you and Harry stepped back from one another. “Everything okay here?” Lambert asked, looking at both of you and practically feeling the tension. Once you two nodded, not looking at each other, he looked at you both suspiciously before continuing. “Anyways, come with me. I need to fix something,” Lambert walked out of the restroom as Harry followed him, not giving you another look.

You turned around to look in the mirror, sighing to yourself as you shook your head.

Well, guess that’s not happening right now, you thought.

Watching Harry up on stage was something you would never get used to. You made sure to never miss a show as you watched from the side, and since he knows where you stand during the show, he always makes sure to go to that side of the stage and wave to you. But seeing him on stage was different every night. His performances and conversations with the crowd were always different and that’s what made them and him so entertaining.

Once the show was over, he made his way off the stage and to the dressing room. He talked a bit with the band, as they always did right when the show ends, to talk about their favorite moments and which songs they needed to work on for rehearsals. After that, Harry walked to his dressing room and you would follow every single time.

“Another great show, H. Never get tired of watching you,” you said once you entered the dressing room.

“Thanks, angel. Always feel like I’m on a high when I’m trying to cool down, like I just have so much energy to perform another hour,” he chuckled, wiping some sweat off his forehead.

“That must be exhilarating--being up there every night for your fans,” you walked towards him to stand in front of him as he leaned on the table of the vanity.

“Yeah, it really is,” he smiled. He pulled your arm towards him and wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a hug. You were surprised by the sudden affection, but Harry was an affectionate type of guy, and really, you didn’t mind being close to him. Plus, he seemed extra needy since he recently just broke up with someone. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course, Harry. Always going to be here for you,” you said against his ear as your arms were around his shoulders.

“And I’m always going to be here for you,” he said back.

For a moment, it was just this--hugging him as he cooled down in your arms, and you liked it...a lot. But when you pulled back, you didn’t pull back completely and it made you face to face with him, literally inches away from each other. You two looked at each other in the eye, glancing your eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes. The only thing you thought was: I really want to fucking kiss him right now.

And it seemed like he did as well because he crashed his lips with yours, molding them together as your arms were wrapped around one another. It was everything you expected as you dreamed of his lips on yours quite often, and you absolutely loved it. He felt like a drug, like all of your pain and worries went away once his lips touched yours, and you were addicted. You wanted so much more.

Your tongue makes its way in his mouth, meeting his, and he swirled it with his before lightly sucking on it. Your teeth found a way to bite his bottom lip and he let out a groan. He pulled back for a bit, looking at you before kissing you again.

“God, been wanting you for so long,” he groaned, and you felt butterflies in your stomach, trying not to take his words literally as to keeping your hopes down. But little did you know that his words were serious. “Can I touch you?” He whispered in between kisses.

You nodded, whispering out, “Please.” Harry’s stomach did flips once you gave him consent, and his hands trailed down your body. Luckily, you were wearing a simple dress with straps, so it was easier. He bunched up your dress up to your hips, and you held it up with your arm before touching you over your panties, feeling a wet spot over the fabric.

“Practically drenched. It’s for me, right?” He muttered, wrapping his free arm around your waist so you were closer.

“Yes. Always going to be for you,” you moaned as his hand continuously rubbed you and he smirked. Your words had completely slipped out, but it was the truth.

“Can I take them off?” He asked, and you nodded your head before he slid your drench underwear down your legs and you kicked them off to the side somewhere in his dressing room. You molded your lips with his again and grabbed a fistful of his curly hair, causing him to kiss you even harder.

Harry then started roaming his hands around your thighs, going to ass and squeezing the flesh, and you moan against his mouth. His hand moves up and to your stomach before trailing down to your hot core. He took his fingers and swiped up your slit, making you groan from the feeling of his hands.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered before touching your clit and rubbing it. He buried his face in your neck to kiss, suck, and nibble on your skin, and that feeling made you throw your head back as his hands rubbed you and mouth kissed you. The feeling was indescribable, but it was Harry.

You felt his fingers slip inside of you, starting off with one finger before pumping in and out of you. He then added another finger as he curled them in an inward motion and brushed his fingertips against the soft upper area of your pussy.

“Shit, that feels so good. So, so good, H,” you groaned out. Harry took the straps of your dress off your shoulders, and kissed your chest where the gold chain he had gifted you rested. He pulled on the front of your dress to expose your tits, and his mouth immediately wrapped around your hard nipples, sucking them and pulling on them before releasing them with a pop. Your grip on Harry’s hair tightened as you felt like you were going to rip out his hair from the way you’re feeling. “Add another,” you whimpered out.

“Another finger?” He looked at you with wide eyes, but all he saw was your eyes closed and head being thrown back; and you nodded. He added his pinky finger in with his ring and middle finger, trying his best to curl them up into you, but the snugness of your hole was challenging him. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Practically squeezing my fingers,” he said, kissing your neck.

His words and fingers had gotten you to the edge, and you were minutes away from releasing around him. He saw you bite your lip and take deep breaths, and he knew you were close.

“C’mon, angel baby. Let go for me, yeah? Know you’re close,” he thrusted his fingers deep into you, and that was when you hit your peak. With loud moans, you jolted around his fingers, riding your high out as Harry continuously pressed kisses to your chest and neck. He took his hand, sticking one of his fingers in your mouth, and you swirled your tongue around his finger that was covered in your orgasm, and moaned. He took the other two fingers, and placed them in his own mouth, tasting yourself on his fingers. “Taste so good,” he smirked, kissing your forehead, and you leaned your head on his shoulders to take a breather.

Once you calmed down, you turned your head to kiss his neck, sucking on his skin to calm your breathing down, and Harry hissed. His hands ran through your hair and all the way down to your back, soothing you. After a minute or two, you lifted your head up, meeting his eye before you kissed him, deeply. You two made out for a while you unbuttoned his black shirt, and you pulled away from his lips to kiss down his torso until you were on your knees. Harry was hard as rock in his pants and desperately needed some release that he could possibly come any minute with how you’re kissing him.

His entire suit was still on and he went to take his jacket off, but you stopped him.

“Keep it on,” you looked up at him as you told him so before proceeding to kiss down his stomach. He put his arms down, and gripped and sat on the edge of the desk. You got to the hem of his pants and looked up at him, giving him a sight to die for. “Can I take these off?”

He looked down at you, smirking before nodding his head. “Please, take it all off,” he gave your cheek a stroke with his thumb, and you smiled looking back down to his pants to unbutton it, pulling down his trousers to his ankles, you saw his bulge, and smirked before you kissed over his underwear. Harry took a deep breath in as you palmed him before grabbing the hem of his briefs and pulling it down, his dick springing up as Harry’s shoulder relaxed from the lack of restraint.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” you said, grabbing his dick. You knew very well that he was well endowed because of the many times you’ve seen him get hard on stage, and also from that moment when you walked in on him in Brooke’s mouth had confirmed it, but seeing it up close was unreal. You licked your hand and grabbed his cock before looking up at him. “What do you want me to do, Harry?” Your voice asked seductively. He was completely under your spell as his breaths were staggered while you stroked him.

“Anything you want,” he breathed out. You smirked at the state he was in at the moment, and you loved every second of it.

You put your mouth around his tip, sucking it lightly, and that caused Harry’s breath to hitch in his throat. You took more of him in your mouth as you relaxed your jaw. He was bigger than the guys you’ve fucked and you really hoped you were doing a good job for him because you wanted him to feel good. You hollowed your cheeks in and sucked hard, slicking your tongue on the underside of his cock.

“Feels so good, angel baby,” he moaned, throwing his head back. He was already embarrassingly close, but he wanted to feel you more, so he tangled his fingers in your hair, getting a gentle but steady grip, and started guiding your head up and down his cock. You let him take control for the time being because honestly, you loved hearing the sounds of his moans start to progress. “That’s it,” he muttered under his breath once he felt the back of your throat.

You placed your hands on his thighs, gripping his skin harshly so that your nails dug into it, and he hissed, but the pain felt so good to him. After a few more pushes to your head, you pushed on his thighs so he could release you, and when you did that he knew that he was done being in control. You grabbed his cock that was slick from your mouth, and you loved your head down so you could take his balls in your mouth. More of the beautiful sounds coming from his mouth came out more loudly as you sucked until he finally said the words.

“Gonna cum, angel. Gonna fuckin’ cum,” he moaned. You saw his knuckles practically turn white as he gripped the desk hard. You loved your head back up to place the tip in your mouth as you fondled with his balls before he spurts his come in your mouth. “Such a fuckin’ good girl,” he said as you swallowed.

You kissed back up his stomach and to his neck before meeting his lips again. He tasted himself on your tongue, and you were a good mix with him. You two pulled back from one another, looking at each other before you both started giggling—post orgasm haze.

“Jeez, such an angel, but that mouth of yours is sinful.”

5 June 2018

The rest of the Europe, Australia, and Asia leg went by, and you were back in the states for the first show of the US leg.

Ever since the dressing room escapade, you and Harry had been acting differently towards each other. There weren’t anymore sexual acts, but there was a lot more affection. Sadly, not any kisses to the lips, but kisses to the cheek and forehead were made, and they were welcomed and given. He would always put an arm around your shoulder when you two were walking, and there was the occasional cuddle in his hotel room before or after the show. It was definitely different, but you enjoyed it.

What you didn’t enjoy was the fact that you hadn’t told him you liked him. You were sure he had an idea, but you wanted to say it out loud to get it off your chest. You also didn’t know if he felt that way towards you whatsoever, and that thought scared you. Just because of what happened in the dressing room didn’t necessarily mean he had feelings for you. The thought of him just leading you on and messing with you feelings made your heart sink when you think about it, and you really hoped it wouldn't get to that point.

Tonight was the Dallas show, and Harry wore an Alexander McQueen embroidered pink floral suit. As always, he looked amazing. But your favorite was the Barcelona suit, and you might be a bit biased on that given the events that happened in that particular suit. You chuckled to yourself as you followed Jeff and Glenne to your seats.

You decided to watch the show with them in the reserved seats in the lower level of the arena, and it was a change from the side of the stage, but you could really see more from the seats. Once you got to your seats, Harry had already finished up with ‘Only Angel’ and was moving on to ‘Woman,’ but a familiar man had caught your eye.

“Alex?” You called out through the music.

“Y/N! It’s so great seeing you!” He said, giving you a hug.

“What are you doing here?”

“Jeff and Harry invited me! Haven’t seen Harry perform since last year, so they reserved me a seat,” his face was close to your ear, so you could understand him better through the loudness of the crowd and the bass of the music.

“Ah, well I’m glad you’re here! It’s been a while,” you said completely innocently, and he nodded, smiling before turning his head to watch Harry on stage. In all honesty, the thought of Alex slipped your mind because your head was constantly thinking about Harry as it always does.

For the rest of the show, he was amazing. The crowd was wild as always, and he absolutely looked so cute in his suit. Your favorite part was when someone threw a rainbow sequined cowboy hot on stage, and he picked it up to wear it. It was a look, to be honest.

Before the band said their goodbyes to the crowd, the four of you headed backstage, so there wasn’t any delay with everyone trying to leave at the same time. As you were walking, you were walking next to Alex as Jeff and Glenne walked in front of you two.

“Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should get dinner tonight? Y’know, to catch up? I know some places that are still open,” he suggested, and you liked the idea.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good,” you said, smiling back.

The four of you met with the band as they laughed and talked about the show. You met Harry, giving him a hug as you told him that he did amazing out there. He hugged you back tightly, telling you thank you.

“C’mon,” he said, taking your hand as he wanted to go to his dressing room as you always did after his shows.

“Oh, uh, actually,” you pulled your hand back, causing him to stop walking. “I’m going out to dinner with Alex…” you said nervously, and he raised his eyebrows, looking down the hall and noticing Alex talking to Adam.

“Oh okay, yeah. Go ahead,” he let go of your hand, completely dropping it from his as his face dropped. In that moment, you wished you didn’t say yes to Alex and went with Harry to his dressing room. This would be the first time you were going to miss out on dressing room chats as he calmed down from his energetic state from being on stage. It would be the first time you weren’t going back to the hotel with him while holding his hand in the car and up to your rooms.

“Hey,” Alex caught up to you, not feeling the tension between you and Harry. “Ready to go?” You looked up at him briefly, placing a fake smile on your face before looking back at Harry who already had his back turned towards you, walking to his room.

“Yeah, I am.”

21 June 2018

The prospect of not talking to Harry as much hurt you a bit.

You haven’t had a full conversation with him in about two weeks. The most you’ve ever spoken to him was when someone was looking for him or if he was clearing up and clarifying his schedule. But other than that, nothing. You didn’t know why it was like that, but you tried not to let it get to you as you told yourself that he was tired from the tour. He was on the last month of tour and the flying had definitely caught up to him.

But that wasn’t the real reason.

You have been going out with Alex ever since that night in Dallas, and you thought it was nice to have someone to talk to other than Harry and the rest of the crew and band--although they’re very nice and fun people, you saw them everyday. And you came to find out that Alex was even more fun once you’ve gotten to know him even more.

Alex made you feel free. There was something refreshing about hanging out with him that made you want more, and he definitely took your mind off of thinking about Harry... by having his tongue down your throat and inside of you. There have been plenty of pleasurable times when Alex had made you feel good, and vice versa. It started out in the night at Fort Lauderdale, two days after Dallas, and you went out with Alex to a bar in the city. Both of you had too much to drink and he asked if you wanted to go over to his hotel, which of course you said yes. One thing led to another, and you were underneath him, moaning his name out. Ever since then, he would watch every other show and you two would have date nights that took the night away into a hotel room.

It was nice, and he liked you and you liked him back.

Liked him as much as Harry? Not quite. But there were definitely a little bit of feelings for him. Besides, he calls you nice things and tells you you’re pretty.

It was Harry’s first New York show in Madison Square Garden as a solo artist, and he was pumped, but also a little nervous. You were so incredibly proud of him and what he’s done in his career, so you were happy for him. And you were happy to be back home for a few days as well because you haven’t been home since the beginning of the month.

Alex stood next to you with an arm around your shoulder the entire time of Harry’s show. He was wearing a custom Gucci white suit with flowers printed all over and the phrase ‘Memento Mori’ underneath it. The lapel part of the suit was a velvet material and he wore a black shirt underneath. The trousers were flared from the knee down, and you absolutely loved it.

When the show was over, you and Alex headed backstage to meet with the band. You had expected that he wanted to get dinner already, but he hadn’t mentioned anything, so you assumed that you were going to go back to your hotel and hang out with him there.

“Lovely show, H,” you hugged him tightly, but he didn’t reciprocate the same energy into the hug like you, and you found that odd because he usually hugs you tight.

“Thanks,” he smiled softly, shaking Alex’s hand before thanking him for coming to the show.

You turned towards Alex and asked, “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Oh, I was going to tell you, but I’m hanging out with a couple of friends from college that live here. So, I can't hang out with you tonight. I’m sorry,” he slightly pouted. “I’ve got to get going now though, so I’ll see you tomorrow?” You nodded understandingly.

“Yeah, definitely. Probably best we don’t hang out all the time because I don’t want you to get tired of me,” you joked, and he shook his head no. “But I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me,” you told him before he gave you a kiss on the lips before heading towards the exit.

Harry had watched the whole interaction with a small frown. He tried to contain his jealousy when he saw Alex kiss you and you smiling, but it was difficult for him to not scoff loudly, so he turned around and walked towards his dressing room. You turned around to find Harry missing, and you assumed he went to his dressing room, so you headed over there. You knocked on the door before entering, and you found him on the couch with his phone in his hands.

“Hey,” you smiled, sitting on the couch as he muttered a ‘hi.’ “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, what makes you think I’m not?” He said defensively, and you furrowed your brows.

“I never said you weren’t. I just wanted to make sure you were. I haven’t talked to you in a while.”

“Well, that’s not my fault,” he whispered under his breath before continuing to scroll through his phone.

There was a bit of a silence, and unfortunately, it was an awkward one. You didn’t feel needed in the dressing room, but you sat there awkwardly as you didn’t know what to say to him.

“You’re seeing Alex?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. Just hanging out with him,” you got up to grab a water bottle from the table, and you opened it, taking a sip.

“So, you’re fucking him?” He said casually, but you choked on your water, immediately coughing. Once you calmed down, you looked at him with watered eyes.

“Uh…”

“You can tell me,” he said sternly.

“I mean, yeah, we had sex a few times, but there’s no label or anything like that. We’re just hanging out,” you told him, and he nodded.

“Do you like him?” He raised his brows, and you took a deep breath, wondering what all these questions were for.

“I think so, but-”

“Good, he’s a good guy,” he interrupted you. You liked Alex, yeah, but comparing your feelings for Alex to Harry...unmatchable. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said, getting up from the couch before grabbing a towel from the vanity and walking out of the dressing room. Once he left, you were alone in the dressing room. You sighed deeply as you buried your face in your hands.

“Yeah, sure I am.”

22 June 2018

The sound of ringing had woken you up from your slumber.

You groaned as you tried to make out where your phone might be on your bedside table with your eyes closed, but you were hitting empty spots, so you opened one eye and grabbed your phone.

“Hello?” Your morning voice coming out through the speaker.

“Y/N. Can you come by, like right now?” It was Harry on the phone, and you groaned. After the night prior, you thought he didn’t want to talk to you, but seeing as you’re still his assistant, of course he would call you.

“Why must you call me at,” you pulled your phone back to look at the time, “six in the morning?”

“Please. It’s important. I have some stuff I need you to do,” he pleaded, and you stretched your limbs out, making inhumane noises while still being on the phone, and Harry chuckled.

“Fine. Be there in like twenty.”

“Thank you, angel! See you.”

He must be in an awfully good mood this morning, you thought. And it’s been a while since you heard your pet name, but you brushed it off and got ready.

You unlocked the door of Harry’s house, letting yourself in. You found him sitting on the couch, reading a book until he looked up at the door and saw you. He got up and walked towards you, and opened his arms, giving you a big hug.

“Hey, angel. Thanks for coming by,” he said into your ear, leaving you in goosebumps.

“Course. Everything okay?” You asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah. I miss you, y’know. Feel like we haven’t spoken in a while,” he trailed off a bit, and you squint your eyes at him.

“I sense a ‘but,’” you said, and he chuckled.

“I actually need you to get these for me, if that’s okay? Just need them before the show,” he handed you a list, and you looked at it.

The items were something similar as before: a bouquet of flowers and a gift basket with various types of snacks. As you read through it, that’s when you knew and your heart sank.

“So who is it?” Harry looked at you curiously, and you waved around the list up. “Who are you dating?”

“Oh, this girl I met through a mutual friend. She actually was at the Dallas show and we met after at a bar. She’s in the fashion industry; her name is Rena,” he explained with a smile. “She’s coming to the show tonight, so I just wanted to get her a little something.”

“Okay, I’m on it. I’ll see you tonight,” you headed out, figuring since you had nothing else to do, you could stretch your errands out until the show. You decided to have breakfast first and get some coffee since it was quite early still, and enjoy a day to yourself until Harry introduces you to yet another girl.

Rena was a nice lady. She was two years older than you and Harry, and she was drop dead gorgeous. You’ve never seen anyone this stunning up close. She always had the sweetest smile, and you were contemplating if she was real or not, and why Harry is calling you ‘angel’ and not her. It was difficult to hate her, and it’s not like you wanted to, but considering that you have feelings for Harry, you wanted something to be wrong about her--maybe a Brooke 2.0, but she was so kind to you, and she loved everything that was gifted to her from Harry, even if the items were the smallest things. So, there were no complaints.

Harry seemed happy with her, so that’s all that mattered.

1 July 2018

It seemed like Rena was around all the time now, like she was at every show since night two in New York. You tried to busy yourself by going around the town you were in or talking to Alex, but you missed Harry. It was always like this when he was dating someone; the first few months, he would completely forget about you and always hang out with the person, but once he starts settling in, he wants to talk to you. And since he’s only been dating Rena for a month, he hasn’t been talking to you lately.

You watched Harry on stage in St. Paul next to Rena, Alex, and Jeff as Harry was wearing a sparkly pink Gucci shirt with a pussybow on the front and some black trousers. The energy in the room was amazing. By far it was the best performance of ‘Medicine’ you’ve seen him perform. He even held out a pair of handcuffs in front of the crowd, making them go crazy, and he looked up at your section, glancing at Rena before smirking, making you cringe a tad bit as she cheered.

At the end of the show, you greeted the band, and immediately Rena was attached to Harry, which made you impatient because you wanted to hug him like you always do. But they were wrapped in each other’s arms as they kissed, no plans of letting go of one another.

“Hey, wanna head out?” Alex asked. You still hadn’t said hello to Harry, but you figured you could text him later, so you nodded, glancing back at the two of them and walked out with Alex. He took you to a diner that wasn’t too far from the hotel and you both ate breakfast for a midnight meal because breakfast simply hits differently when it’s at an unusual hour. Alex then walked you back to the hotel room, and you were exhausted by this point. You just wanted to get out of your shoes and sleep for a very long time. You were lucky that you weren’t sharing a room with Alex because sometimes you just needed to be alone, and this moment was that time. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said, stopping in front of your room and your brows raised as he continued. “We’ve been dating for about a month now, and I really like you, so I wanted to ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

You had expected anything else, but that question. Your heart beat practically stopped for a moment as you looked at him, wondering if he was serious, and when he didn’t say he was joking, you realized that he was actually being serious.

“Oh, uhm…”

“It’s been fun getting to know you and travelling to these places with you, so I figured it was time to ask you.”

“Alex...you’re a really nice guy, but I’m just not sure I can be your girlfriend,” you told him honestly, and his brows furrowed.

“Why’s that?”

“I-I like you, but I feel like my feelings for you aren’t 100% there when it comes to being your girlfriend.” He only nodded, and you were getting quite anxious when he didn’t say anything.

He then started laughing, pacing around in the hallway and you crossed your arms.

“That’s hilarious,” he said.

“What-”

“No, the only reason you don’t want to be with me is because you’re in love with someone else!” His voice raised, making the hallway echo a bit. You looked at him, not knowing what to say. “Yeah. I know you’re in love with Harry. Noticed that the first time I met you; that you were staring right at someone that wasn’t yours, but desperately wanted to be.”

“I…” you were speechless. Had you really been that obvious about your feelings towards Harry that everyone around you noticed?

“It’s a shame though, isn’t it?” He had a grin of the devil; mischievously and humiliating. You looked at him nervously, urging him to continue. “You’re in love with someone that doesn’t even want you,” he stated. “That doesn’t look your way for a second when he thinks about a relationship because you’re only his assistant. Not once would he look your way down the street if you weren’t working for him,” he looked you up and down, and your eyes started watering, and you were embarrassed that you were about to cry in front of Alex as he crushed you in every possible way. “It’s okay, don’t cry. You have me,” he opened his arms to take you in for a hug, but you physically pushed him away because now you were angry.

“I have you? Are you fucking kidding me? After you just humiliated me?” You were breathing out through your nose as your tears made their way down your cheeks.

“Hey, I’m just telling you the truth-”

“Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend?” You asked, genuinely confused on his logic.

“Well, the question that you’re supposed to be asking is why did I talk to you in the first place?”

“Why did you?”

“Since you want to know so bad,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes. “When I saw you, I definitely liked you, but then I saw you were giving heart eyes to Harry, so I thought I could change your mind. See if I could switch your feelings up,” he chuckled.

“So, this was some sort of experiment? Guessing your hypothesis was wrong then, huh? Go ahead and write your conclusion as: fucked her, but dick wasn’t good enough to fall in love. So, fuck off,” you rolled your eyes and opened the door before slamming it shut in his face. Your back was leaning against the door as more that you’ve been holding onto fell from your face as you heard him still talk.

“You’ll never be like Brooke or Rena, or whoever he dates in the future! You’re nothing to him!” He yelled through the door as his words came out muffled.

Sliding down the door, you finally heard him leave, and you were full on sobbing. You tried not to let his words get the better of you, but the way Alex spat them out so easily, it was hard not to.

Because what if he’s right.

7 July 2018

Harry noticed that you had been feeling off the entire week.

It was like you were simply existing, but not present in some moments when people would talk to you. You had this dull look on your face, and it wasn’t the same as your bright and happy look that he looked forward to everyday. He noticed it when everyone was leaving from Minnesota, and he told himself that it was because you were tired, which was true, but he didn’t know the whole reason.

After the show in Seattle, he didn’t see you like he used to, and he wondered where you or if you even watched the show. Once he high fived and talked to everyone for a bit, he headed to his dressing room, hoping that you were in there, but you weren’t. So now, he was worried.

H: Hey, where are you? He texted. Luckily, Rena wasn’t around anymore because she would want all his attention after the show. He simply couldn’t take someone being so clingy, so he called things off with her. It may have also had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to hide his feelings anymore, and being with other people just wasn’t working for him anymore. Not when you were in front of him.

It’s been a long time coming now, and he felt stupid for not telling you in the first place since he’s been in love with you since last year--during the time he was with Brooke. He was honestly afraid to tell you, and when he heard Brooke say it, he just felt so much shock run through him, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t have an excuse as to why he got with other people while being in love with you, but it just made him feel in control of himself because he couldn’t control his feelings towards you, so he got scared. So, he decided that when everyone gets to California in two days, he’s going to confess his entire feelings for you.

Harry walked to your hotel room, knocking on it as he waited for you to answer. He could hear shuffling and movement through the door, and he hoped to god that Alex wasn’t in there with you.

“Who is it?” You said through the door, softly.

“Angel, it’s Harry. Can I see you?” He asked. There was a pause, but then he heard the door handle rattled as you opened the door.

Your face was a crying mess and your hair was up in a very messy bun. Harry’s mouth opened slightly as he concerningly asked, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His question and concern had made you sob even more as you shook your head. “C’mere,” he pulled you in for a hug and you sobbed into his chest as he walked you over to the edge of your bed. He observed your room and saw that there were a stack of clothes folded on the other bed along with your open luggage with some of your belongings inside. “Angel, what’s going on?” You pulled your head out of his chest to look at him, knowing that he was probably wondering why you were packing; and he had a sad expression on his face.

“I’m leaving,” you simply said.

“Leaving? Where are you going?” His brows furrowed.

“I’m going back home.”

“W-What? Why?”

“I can’t be your assistant anymore, Harry,” you cried, and Harry’s heart sank as his jaw dropped.

“What are you talking about? A-Are you quitting?” You stood up, placing the stack of clothes in your luggage as you sorted them.

“Y-Yeah,” you said quietly, and Harry has never been more confused in his life.

“W-What did I do wrong? I’m sorry we haven’t been seeing each other lately, but I promise after tour-”

“No, no. It’s not you, I promise,” you shook your head. In this moment, you felt like you should tell him everything because he deserved an explanation from you. “Please, listen, okay?” He nodded. You walked to sit on the desk chair in front Harry as he sat on the edge of the bed. You proceeded to tell him everything that Alex said from him asking you to be his girlfriend to you saying no. “He said these mean things that-”

“What the fuck did he say?” He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath.

“Just listen,” you stopped him. “He said those things because I’m in love with someone else…I’m in love with you, and you probably heard Brooke say that, but you didn’t say anything, so I just assumed that you didn’t want to believe it.” It was the words Harry has been wanting to hear and he went to open his mouth, but you immediately started talking again. “I have been ever since I started working for you, and I thought it was just a crush on my boss, but it’s way more than that. Alex told me I’m not good enough for you and that you would never love me, and I think that’s true-”

“No! That’s not true! I love-”

“Please, don’t,” you shook your head as you sobbed. You’ve been waiting for years to hear those words, but you knew that you couldn’t hear them just yet. “Don’t say those words because I’m leaving and to prove Alex wrong.”

“I’m not trying to prove him wrong, it’s true,” Harry’s eyes watered, and you sighed.

“What he said got me thinking…I go to all these stores and pick shit up for your love interests, sending me a list of all their favorite things, and wishing that they were for me. And in the midst of it, I realized you don’t know what my favorite flower is! I’ve been hurting for so long that I covered it up everytime and put a fake smile on my face just to see you happy.”

“Your favorite flower is-”

“I just really think that I deserve to be happy as well,” you nodded your head as a way to try and convince yourself.

“You do deserve to be happy, angel baby. But we can be happy together? I-I… want you here. With me.” His voice was filled with hope, and it only made it harder for you.

You closed your eyes for a moment, burying your face in your hands. “I want that so bad. I do, H. But I really need to be happy with myself and by myself first. I depended on you and the others around me a lot, and I just didn’t save that love for myself, so…I need to leave,” you sniffled, wiping your cheeks.

“And when you come back?”

“I don’t know when that will be or what’s going to happen, but I’m not asking you to wait for me or anything because you should live your life. But when I come back, I’ll call you, and we’ll talk,” you told him, and it seemed like you had everything planned already, but you were just as lost as he was. He dropped his head, crying into his hands. You rolled your chair closer to him, grabbing his wrists, and he lifted his head. “We’ll be alright, okay? Just need a little time to myself.” He nodded, sniffling.

You stood up and walked over to your luggage, zipping it closed before you looked around to see if you forgot anything. Harry stood up and walked over to you, grabbed your wrists, and pulled you to him, giving you a hug. His face was buried in your neck and you felt him press kisses against your skin as he cried.

“You’ll be back?” The pain in his voice was enough to tip you over the edge of bawling.

“Yeah, I’ll be back,” you said in between sniffs. “I’m going to stay with my parents for a while; get a job back in Oregon,” you told him, so he’s not completely out of the loop. He pulled back, looking down at you.

“When you come back, your job will always be here.” You smiled sadly, raising your hand to caress his cheek.

“We’ll see, okay? But I have to go to the airport now. My flight is in two hours,” you managed to free yourself from his grasp as it tightened so you wouldn’t go, but you really had to.

“Let me drop you off?” He offered, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s only going to make this harder,” you said, grabbing your luggage and backpack. “Have a great rest of the tour, alright? Take care of yourself,” you placed your palm on his cheek again, looking in his sad eyes before you reached up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you, honey.”

You walked out of the room with no glance back at him, and Harry was alone in your hotel room, and it was the last memory of you that would be ingrained in his mind forever.

14 July 2018

The crowd cheered loud for Harry for his final show in Los Angeles. He overwhelmingly smiled as he took a deep breath before continuing onto the next song. Everyone seemed to know what the next song on the set list was, so the room went a bit quiet as the crowd turned on their flashlights as the lights went completely dark, and the only thing was heard was the strumming of the guitar.

Woke up alone in this hotel room… As he sang, he took in his own lyrics, feeling like they really related to him at the moment despite writing the song two years ago. Harry sang with every emotion in him as he let it all out in the dark room that was silent, and the only thing he heard was his voice and the guitar that was played by Mitch.

We haven’t spoke since you went away…He had thought of you every night he sang this song since you left in Seattle, and it pained him that there was no contact between you ever since you left, but he figured that was what you wanted. What you needed.

Comfortable silence is so overrated… The moments when there would be silence between you two, he hated looking back at those moments because he knew he should’ve said something, you would’ve still been here.

Why won’t you ever say what you want to say? Why didn’t you say anything, Harry?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way…He missed your contact name pop up on his phone that went along with his contact picture for you. You were smiling bright as you ate ice cream. It was a summer day in New York and really warm outside, so you decided you two took a break from running around and got some ice cream. You were so happy that day, and he was happy he got it on camera.

Harry would often find himself looking at your pictures together; trying to pinpoint the exact moment you knew you were in love with him. Your smile always made his day, and it broke his heart knowing that he wouldn’t get to see that smile for a long while--at least he hoped it’s not a long time till he gets to see you again. Since, he knew when his feelings had progressed, he looked back on the pictures when he knew he fell hard. His smile had gotten bigger and the look he gave you was full of love, and he wished that you saw how he looked at you.

He missed you so much.

13 December 2019

It took you quite a while since you felt whole again.

You hadn’t felt so empty as you had been when you left Seattle. The year and a half you spent back at home really helped you with that. You were able to find yourself again; spending time with your family and with yourself was something so refreshing that you cherished every moment with them. You learned a lot about yourself, and you reshaped your own worth and values. You came back stronger than ever and you’ve never been happier than you are now.

You nervously walked over to the section you were going to be sitting in. The room was dark and the crowd was absolutely wild as they were finally seeing the one person they’ve been waiting for. You looked down, watching your step as you held your phone with the flashlight on your feet as they stepped onto the red floor of the pit, until you saw the familiar faces you’ve been looking for.

“Y/N! There you are!” Glenne smiled, taking you in for a hug. “I’ve missed you babe,” she said in your ear as you hugged her tight.

“I missed you too, so much.”

“Hey, Y/N. It’s good to see you again,” Jeff said, giving you a warm embrace.

The music was playing and the crowd had gotten louder as the man of the hour finally stepped on stage, and all the spotlights were pointed on him. You watched him as he walked down from the high stage to the main stage, grabbing his guitar as said hello to everyone before strumming the first note.

As you remembered, he was amazing on stage as he wore the same outfit as the album cover. He ignited the crowd with his charm and voice that left people in tears from being so overwhelmed by him. You felt overwhelmed as well; seeing him for the first time in a year and a half had made you quite emotional.

You knew you wanted to go to Harry’s ‘One Night Only’ show when he first announced it. From keeping in contact with him, you figured you could keep in contact with updates of him, and what he’s up to these days. You streamed his music, watched his music videos, and stayed up late just to hear a snippet of him on the radio. You were always excited when you would get the notification on your phone of new pictures and videos of him because that was the only way you were able to see him. You found out that he had spent quite some time in Japan towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year. You really hoped he was doing okay. During the days of finding yourself, the thought of seeing him again had scared you, and you weren’t ready for that, so you waited until this day to see him.

So, at the beginning of the week, you had texted Glenne that you wanted to go to the show, and she immediately said yes, putting your name on the list. You told her not to tell Harry just yet because you wanted to surprise him, and she was on board with the idea as was Jeff.

They were both really supportive of you during your times sulking and growing, and Glenne had even visited you in Oregon to make sure you were okay and simply just missing you. You were really thankful for both of them because you knew that it was hard to see their two friends in pain, but you were glad that they supported your decision. Glenne had always known that you were in love with Harry, and you told her ever since you figured your feelings out. But you had made her swear on her life and Jeff’s that she wouldn’t say a word about it to anyone, not even Jeff (although Jeff saw it coming).

“He’s going to be so happy to see you and know that you’re here,” Glenne said to you as the beginning of ‘Fine Line’ was starting. You thought the album was an absolute masterpiece that was composed of beautiful lyrics, melodies, and emotion. You made sure to dance and cheer for the songs you didn’t know the words to extra loud, and you sang to the ones you knew without hesitation. You stayed up all night, listening to the album multiple times on repeat and trying to get the words down, and you were sure everyone did the same.

As you listened to Harry sing the outro and the words ‘We’ll be alright’ coming out so effortlessly, you were reminded of your words to him as you left the hotel room. The song was quite hard hitting and you felt every inch of your skin cover in goosebumps.

You practically lost your shit when Stevie Nicks came out and performed ‘Landslide’ with him, and when he sang ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ while fake snow was falling from the ceiling. Before you knew it, Harry was in the middle of singing ‘Kiwi,’ and Glenne tapped your arm, telling you to follow her and you knew that you three were going backstage already. You felt butterflies in your stomach, feeling really nervous to see him again up close after a year and a half; and you only hoped that he was happy to see you as well.

You heard the muffled final beat of the song as the crowd loudly cheered for him, telling him to do another song, but you knew that it was the end of the show. Jeff had walked way ahead of you both to grab Harry really quick, so he could point his attention towards you. Your hands were shaking as your arm was looped with Glenne’s as she provided physical support for you, holding you up, and continuously telling you that he’s going to be so ecstatic.

Cheers erupted from the crew as everyone hugged each other, proud and happy of the success of Harry’s first show of his sophomore album. Once you were close enough, you could make out everyone’s faces. The band was there along with Harry’s friends and producers that had written the album with him. Finally, there was Harry; his back was facing you as he hugged Jeff, and Jeff gave you an amusing smile as he hugged his best friend. You heard him whisper into Harry’s ear, and Harry pulled back, saying, “What?”

Jeff nodded, and Harry quickly turned around. His face was pulled into a shocked expression as his eyes widened and his body was practically frozen as he took in your presence. You smiled softly, waiting for him to say or do something because you didn’t know how he felt with you being here on his special night.

Finally, he took two long strides towards you, pulling you in for a hug. Your body collided with his, and smiled into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his tone body.

“How are you?” You whispered in his ear as you practically felt him shaking in your arms.

“I’m doing good. Better now,” he said softly. “What the fuck are you doing here, angel?” He chuckled, finally realizing that you were here in his arms. The sound of your pet name had widened your smile as your eyes watered; feeling so happy that you finally got to hear that name come from out of his mouth again.

“Came to see you,” you said in his neck. He pulled back, looking at you in the eye before smiling like crazy as he took you in his arms again. He felt like he was on the moon; the overwhelming feeling of the feedback from the album, the show, and now finally getting to see you for the first time in a very long time—he truly couldn’t believe it, so he held you tight, not wanting to let you go as he felt like if he did, then you would vanish again. You felt his hesitancy or not wanting to let you go, so you whispered in his ear, “Hey, I’m here. Not leaving.”

He eventually pulled back, and noticed everyone that gathered around you two, and smiles were on their faces with their hands over their hearts. They all had really witnessed Harry struggle the past year and a half; from song writing, recording, rehearsing, and just being present. They really saw Harry at his lowest, and now they're happy to finally see him happy now that you’re here.

“I-I have to go meet some people and take some pictures, but do you think, uhm…” he trailed off, realizing that he might be acting too eager.

“H, I’m right here. Do what you have to do, and I’ll wait for you, alright?” You told him with a smile, and he nodded. He didn’t want to walk away from you, but you knew that some people were waiting for him, so he had to leave. He gave you one last hug, which brightened your smile, and he walked down the hall of The Forum. “Stay in my dressing room!” He called out, and you laughed, remembering the talks and moments in his dressing room after his shows.

Heading over to his dressing room, you stopped to say hi to everyone as they excitedly greeted you. You couldn’t believe that you were here again. The journey to get here was a struggle, but reuniting with everyone had made it so worth it—seeing Harry again was worth it, and you knew that you had to do it.

After an hour of catching up with the crew and band, and sitting on his couch, mindlessly flipping through the pages of the Fine Line Booklet that contained pictures of Harry in the process of recording his album, he finally showed up. Sighing as he walked in from the rush of the entire day, once he saw your face again, he knew he wasn’t in the state of dreaming because you were really here.

He took a seat on the couch next to you, taking your hand in his. He hesitantly raised your hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of it; you smiled at the sweet gesture, caressing your thumb against his hand.

“How are you, angel?” He asked, softly smiling as he was trying to contain his excitement that you’re finally here.

“I’m good, H. I’m happy,” you said, and hearing that made Harry’s eyes glossy because that’s all he wanted from you. He wanted you to be happy; with yourself, with others, and with life.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he smiled, dimples poking out. You reached over to caress his cheek, rubbing his dimple out, and he turned his head to kiss the inside of your hand.

“I want to hear everything from you--catch me up on everything?” He nodded eagerly, wanting that from you too.

“Security said that the parking lot is empty now because they had to practically kick everyone out, so there’s no one out there, but what do you say we go out there and walk around the parking lot?” He suggested. It was almost midnight, and despite being exhausted and overwhelmed by this whole day, he’d rather stay up and talk for hours with you.

“Are you sure? You’re not tired?” You asked, and he shook your head.

“No, not at all. It’s been a year and a half since I last saw you. I want to spend time with you.”

“Okay, I’d like that,” you smiled, and he nodded, telling you that he was going to change really quick. He walked over to his duffel bag, grabbing some clothes before walking over to the changing room that was in his dressing room. Before he walked in, he turned around, facing you.

“Hey.” You perked up, smiling. He missed your smile so damn much. “Your favorite flower is a baby pink peony,” he said before walking into the room.

You were immediately taken back to the night when you had left when you had told him that he didn’t know what your favorite flower was, but all this time, he knew. He had always known.

Walking towards the exit of the venue, the night was dark as the moon shined from up above you. With cold air rushing through you, you shivered, and Harry smiled next to you as you two walked through the emptiness of the parking lot. Before you two even spoke a word on how to go about having the ‘catch up’ conversation, you sensed Harry’s nervousness as he felt a bit hesitant with you because of the distance and time spent apart. But you wanted to remind him that you were the same person. You had the same feelings for him, and you really hoped he had some feelings for you too.

So, you brushed your left hand against his right hand, cheeks flushed, and you interlock your fingers together, holding his warm ringed hand with your small one.

This was it--this moment right here. This was where you were supposed to be.

please come into my inbox and tell me how you’re feeling and what you thought of this! she was an emotional one :’)

#harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles friends to lovers #boyfriend!harry #harry styles dirty imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles ff #harry styles writing #harry styles one direction #harry styles #hs #harry

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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years

Text

Always You | JJK (Eight-Part 2)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 20.5k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mentions of sex, oc struggles with her future, mentions of vibrator, mentions of cum eating, dirty talk, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), masturbation, swallowing

Notes: woooaahh we got only one chapter left guys! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) I LOVE talking with ya’ll!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @aclowe13 @bishuthot @271101 @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell @fairysunooo @taebae19

~~~~~~~~~~~~

November

It shouldn’t be this hard. Figuring out your entire future as a human being should not be this fucking hard, but it is. It’s not that you mind making cookies, or that you look down on yourself for it but it’s not what you want to do forever. Actually, you aren’t sure you want to do anything forever. You wish you could just travel, and that’s how you live life.

“What’s on your mind?” Jungkook asks from besides you. You two are at your favorite coffee stop, Jungkook is working on his laptop for work and you are journaling in your cute pink notebook.

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell something is bothering you…” Jungkook closes his laptop and gives you his full attention.

“It’s nothing.” You say nonchalantly.

“I’m all ears baby.”

“Okay…” you set your pen down and look into Jungkook’s eyes.

“I’m struggling with what I want to do.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know, my whole fucking future. I don’t know what it is I want!” your head falls into your hands, “I hate marketing.”

“Wait, what? You hate…what you got a degree in?”

“I kind of told you before…I only got a degree in it because I knew I would be able to find a job in the field. But that’s not exactly going as planned.”

Jungkook bites down on his lips as he watches you, you look lost and confused and frustrated. It makes his heart hurt.

“How long have you been feeling this way?”

“Forever but it only got worse after graduation.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“No offense Jungkook but you kind of stopped talking to me for three of those months.” You snap at him and he winces, “Sorry…” you shake your head, “I’m just irritated right now.”

“How can I help?”

“You can’t.” you groan, “No one can help me. I’m fucked.”

“y/n that’s not true.”

“What do you want in life? What makes you happy?”

“I don’t know, Jungkook. That’s a part of my problem, I don’t fucking know.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He reaches his hands over the table to hold on to yours.

“Easy for you say,” you snap again, “You are living your dream. The film company you interned for during college hired you on as a permanent employee.” You complain.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel for you y/n.”

“Right, we can feel bad for me but you don’t get what I’m going through.”

Jungkook winces again at the sharp stab of your words, “I’m trying to understand though.”

“Forget it.”

“No. y/n, I want to help.”

“Maybe I need to go home.”

“Huh?” Jungkook’s hold tightens on your hand. “Go home?”

“Just for a visit. I miss my parents, I think. They may be able to help.”

“For how long?”

“Just for a few days, nothing crazy. Don’t worry, you won’t miss me too much.”

“I always miss you.”

You laugh at Jungkook’s pouting face. He looks so cute.

“Why don’t…why don’t you come with me?” You try asking. “You have weekends off, right? We can go next weekend?”

“Wait,” Jungkook looks at you with his bunny grin. “You want me to come? And meet your parents?”

“Isn’t it a little weird, you’re my best friend but they’ve only ever heard about you. So yes, you can come and meet my parents.”

“Are you sure?” his grin widens. “You really want me to go? For a whole weekend?”

“I mean, as long as Vanessa is okay with it…”

“I’ll talk to her about it,” Jungkook smile fades just the slightest. “But I am sure it will be fine.”

“My mom thinks you’re very handsome.”

“Your mom is on to something.” He jokes.

“My parents are a little protective over me…just a warning. And they might tease us…only because you’re a boy!”

“Tease us how?”

“Oh come on, you know how it is…I bring a boy home…blah blah blah.”

Realization hits Jungkook as he sips on his coffee and he starts laughing.

“Like, they’ll want me to be your boyfriend?”

“Something like that.”

You and Jungkook share a look that you don’t really know what it could mean but you tear your eyes away from him and pick up your pen again.

“We can decide on the details later, talk to Vanessa first.”

��Got it.”

~~~~~

“Teaching nine year old’s is easier than teaching you.” Jimin says out of breath, his hands on his hips. “How do you not get this? Move your left foot here then your hands go…” he tries reteaching you the steps, “No, not there.” He groans out.

“Jimin, it’s hard! Use someone else at your test subject!”

“Jungkook is busy with what’s her face, Trina and Holly are doing god knows what, so tonight you are all I’ve got.”

“Thanks, I’m flattered. Also, you literally have a million friends.” You point out.

“But you’re my favorite.” He winks at you, he runs a hand through his hair and he sighs out again. “Let’s take a break.”

“Sounds good to me.” You chirp happily. “So, did Jungkook tell you he might be coming with me to my parents this weekend?”

“He what now?” Jimin gives you a concerned look, “Babe…”

“What?”

“Actually,” Jimin allows a smirk to play on his lips, “I like this idea, maybe it will get you guys one step closer to getting together.” He shrugs.

“That’s—that’s not the point. I’m going because I miss home and honestly it would be nice to have Jungkook there but also he’s never met them!”

“Yeah, that’s weird.”

“But I told him to get the ‘ok’ from Vanessa.”

“You’re so respectful. I could never.”

You two plop down onto Jimin’s sofa, a water bottle in hand as you gulp it down. The fresh liquid making you feel revived again. It’s been a couple days since you saw Jungkook, you asked to hang out tonight but he already had plans with Vanessa. You try so hard not to be hurt by that because why would you? What were you expecting? For him to cancel his plans with her and run off into the sunset with you? Yes, you silently think to yourself.

“What made you want to go home anyway?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to get a good look at you.

“Quarter life crisis, no biggie.”

“Makes sense.” Jimin stretches his arms out over his head and yawns. “What’s the crisis?”

“All my friends are passionate about what they do and here I am.”

“Babe, don’t compare yourself to others…I hate when you do that. Also, I’m not sure my passion is teaching clumsy nine year old’s how to do a simple dance move.” Jimin huffs out, “I wish I was the one on stage…”

“Jimin…sorry, I know this isn’t really what you wanted…”

“It’s okay…the kids are cute, I guess. And they’re faster learners compared to you.”

“Hey!” you fuss, “These kids are in advanced classes, okay?”

“Babe, this is for beginners.”

“Whatever.”

“So, marketing ain’t it huh?” Jimin asks and you nod your head, “I could of told you that five minutes after I met you.”

“Maybe you should of.”

“But you already knew it wasn’t for you though…why did you keep at it?”

“I don’t know anymore.” You whine, “I wish I could just do something a little meaningful then have enough money to travel!”

“Why don’t you teach English abroad?” Jimin turns on his side to face you, “You get to travel and do something meaningful.”

Your head tilts to the side as you process his words, was that kind of a good idea?

“Hm…” you bite on your lip. “That’s—that’s not a bad idea actually.”

“But you would leave us all behind, you get that, right?” Jimin chuckles, “Not sure Jungkook would let you leave.”

“It’s a lot to process and think about, but it’s a cool option.” You admit, stretching your arms out in front of you, “Shit, that dance was a work out!”

“You barely did anything though…”

“I did enough to make me feel this soreness creeping in.” you defend yourself quickly, “So, do you think Vanessa will give Jungkook the ‘ok’ to come with me?”

“I don’t see why not, she doesn’t seem like the controlling type, right?”

“Not really…she’s kind of odd. I’m trying so hard to understand her but she makes it kind of difficult.”

“Didn’t you say she didn’t want to interact with any of us at JK’s party because she’s only there for him?”

“Yup.”

“Damn, I don’t know if I should be mad at that or like, salute her for it.”

You start laughing and Jimin joins you but tells you he’s serious, you just keep laughing and nod your head.

“I kind of get that.” You giggle. “I want to ask Jungkook if she has some sort of social anxiety, it’s the only thing I can come up with on why she’s so…her.”

“Why don’t you?” Jimin asks, and he’s right, why don’t you? You’re just afraid of offending him about her and you don’t want to deal with that…

“I don’t know.”

“Just because you’re trying to be cool about everything doesn’t mean you have to try and be friends with her…it doesn’t seem like she wants to make any friends with any of us, so don’t try to push it.” Jimin advices and you hate that maybe he’s right.

“I know but…”

“No but’s!” Jimin cuts in, “The only butt that matters is mine.” He says giving his ass a little spank. You chuckle and hit his arm and shake your head at him.

“Fine.”

“So, what would you do if Jungkook confessed his feelings to you?”

You lift your head to face Jimin, your eyes filled with surprise. You close them and shake your head a little bit and try to form some words very pathetically.

“W-What? W-Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you asking that?”

“Just curious…” Jimin sucks in his thick bottom lip and pouts.

“I would…I don’t know what I would do.” You respond honestly. Jimin rolls his eyes and stands from the couch and places his hands on his hips.

“You would return his feelings wouldn’t you? Jump in his arms? Kiss him?”

“Jimin…” your tone warns him to chill out, “I would be shocked probably. But if he was serious…of course, I would do all those things…” you finish shyly.

“Perfect. Now just tell him all of that.”

“Jimin…”

“You have til the end of the year.” Jimin states confidently, “then I am forcing you two in a room, revealing everything and making you talk.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Mark my fucking words bish.”

Dude…Jimin sounds and looks fucking serious.

“Jimin seriously, don’t do that. Don’t put me on the spot like that.”

Jimin plugs his ear holes with his pointer fingers and starts singing a beautiful ‘lalala’ and proceeds to ignore you as you try to get his attention.

“Jimin, seriously!”

“y/n.” he takes his fingers out and becomes more serious, “I said mark my fucking words.”

~~~~~~

Jungkook and Vanessa lazily lay on her bed, his arm draped across her waist while she plays some music game on her phone.

“I’m sorry again.” Jungkook whispers out, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

“It’s okay.” Vanessa says softly, “You just aren’t in the mood tonight, and that’s okay.” She continues to look at her phone, her fingers going at it on her game.

“Maybe we can try again la—”

“My Jungkookie just doesn’t want me tonight.”

“Vanessa…don’t say it like that.”

She lifts her head up to smile at him, it’s one of those coy, secretive smiles and Jungkook feels worse.

“So about this weekend, you’re wanting to go with y/n to her parent’s house?”

“I don’t have to go, I know we had plans on Saturday.”

“No, no. Don’t be silly, I don’t mind.” She says smoothly, “It sounds like a good idea.”

“Good idea how?”

“Oh nothing.” She says, going back to her game. “You should go.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know…” Jungkook pulls out his phone to send you a text. You text back within seconds sending him the thumbs up emoji. He feels his entire chest go warm at the thought of going with you this weekend.

He’s never met a girl’s parents, not like this. Not with someone that means as much to him as you do. So he feels as nervous as he does excited. He wants to look his best, he wants to present himself maturely. What does that even mean? Not even Jungkook knows but he thinks it makes sense.

“I can go down on you Vanessa…” Jungkook offers, still feeling guilty.

“No need, I’m not really in the mood either.” She says nonchalantly, too focused on her game at hand.

He has vowed that he won’t think of you while being with Vanessa and usually that would be no problem but tonight…he couldn’t get in the mood at all. All he wanted to do was think about you.

Sex with you…is just different. It feels so fucking good on all levels physical but also all levels emotional. He knows exactly what it feels like to have his cock between your lips and down your throat, he knows exactly what it feels like to fondle your breasts and suck on them too. He knows exactly what you taste like, and god, it is his favorite flavor. He knows exactly how you sound when you’re being fucking pounded and exactly how you sound when you come.

“Is this okay?” Jungkook keeps asking you, his fingers bunching up your hair and you nod pathetically.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you? Since I fucking met you.” He admits, his fingers traveling down to your panties, he pushes them aside as he dips a finger into your wet hole. You moan out, your moan loud and high pitched and Jungkook can’t help but smirk.

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Another finger.” You practically fucking beg, and Jungkook complies quite easily. He slips another finger into your greedy fucking pussy and you yelp. He moves his fingers inside you so fucking expertly, making your toes curl.

“You make me feel so good.” You whimper out.

Jungkook can’t help but reach down and rub his aching cock through his briefs, he wants to feel good too. He is absolutely aching for you, wanting to be touched by you so badly.

“Stop touching yourself” you command and Jungkook being the good boy he is, listens.

“Make me come, Jungkook.” And once again, he complies. He makes you come all over his fingers and then he makes you come again on his tongue and then for a third time, he makes you come on his tongue again making you feel fucking spent.

“Lay on your back.” You order and his eyes go wide with excitement. You lay down next to him and your fingers very delicately dance across his lower stomach. He sighs out heavily, releasing long breaths one after the other. Your fingers reach the waist band of his briefs and you begin to slowly drag them down. His cock springs free and your mouth waters at the sight. There’s no way he is this blessed. He’s so incredibly long and thick, the head of his cock swollen and leaking with precum.

“You wanted to touch yourself right?” you tease. “Now’s your chance.”

“W-What?”

“I want you to touch yourself, Jungkook. You can use my juices as lube,” you say, spreading your legs, your own cum sticky against your inner thighs.

Jungkook’s doe eyes turn sharp as he stares at you and he whimpers. Fucking whimpers. He is quick to gather your juices in his hand and start jacking himself off. He holds on to his cock tightly, rubbing it viciously.

“Ah. Ah.” He groans out, his eyes never leaving yours as he touches himself.

“Such a good boy, Jungkook. God, can you imagine if this gorgeous cock was in my mouth right now?” you whisper in his ear.

“Can you imagine my pretty pink lips wrapped around you, my head bobbing up and down? Can you hear me choke? Choke on this pretty cock?”

“So close, y/n. please don’t stop.”

“You’re not allowed to come yet. Can you imagine fucking me, Jungkook?

“God, yes, yes, yes.”

“Can you imagine thrusting into my pussy? My walls getting tight around your cock? Making us both come?”

“Fuck, y/n. I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come.”

You raise yourself, leaning away from his ear and smirk down at him.

“Since you were so good for me, I’ll reward you. I’ll let you come. And I’ll let you come down my throat.”

You move until you’re on top of him, you lean down until you’re replacing his hand with your mouth. He groans out loudly when he feels his cock enter your warm mouth and you moan into the feeling.

“Fuuuuuck.”

And Jungkook is coming so fucking hard, he doesn’t think he has ever come this hard before. He shoots his cum down your throat and you swallow it all, not even a drop left behind on your lips.

You rise from his cock and smile down at him and he lifts himself up and his lips crash into yours.

Jungkook pulls away for a moment, his eyes dark and his voice low,

“Now I am going to fuck you.”

“Since I’ll be gone this weekend, should we go on a date tomorrow night?”

Vanessa pauses her game and looks straight ahead, she zones out for a few seconds before she’s quietly clearing her throat and looking Jungkook’s way.

“No…I have plans, sorry.”

“Plans?”

“Yes, plans.” The ‘s’ leaves her lips sounding so silky. “You should find something else to do.” Then vanessa exits her game to send a quick text to someone. After a minute or two passes she’s looking at him again.

“y/n’s free tomorrow night, you should just hang with her.”

Jungkook pushes his head back in disbelief, did…

“Did you text y/n…for me?”

“Yes.” Vanessa looks at him, her small eyes going wide, “I was just trying to find you something to do.”

Jungkook stares at her in shock and then bursts out into laughter.

“Sorry, sorry. I just…never thought you would do something like that but somehow it feels on brand.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her innocent voice making Jungkook smile.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Okay, I’ll send her a text…”

Jungkook 10:13pm

So, I hear youre free tmrw night lol

y/n 10:13pm

you hear right lmaaoo

Jungkook 10:14pm

Should we do something?

y/n 10:14pm

I think Jin says he’s having a small cookout at his place, should we go?

Jungkook 10:15pm

Sounds good, I’ll drive. Pick you up at 6?

y/n 10:16pm

yay! Yeah 6 works for me. :)

Jungkook slides his phone into his pocket and looks at Vanessa with a confused expression…

“Why do you want me to hang with y/n?”

“She’s your best friend.” She responds easily. “Plus, since I am busy I feel bad to leave you hanging.”

“You’re not seeing him…right?”

“It doesn’t matter who I am seeing.” She opens the music game app again and starts focusing on beating her last score.

Jungkook sighs out in defeat, sometimes talking to Vanessa gets him nowhere. He pulls out his phone again and checks the time.

“Maybe I should head home…” He begins to say, “I’ll text you throughout the weekend and I’ll see you after.”

“Don’t be rude and be on your phone while you’re in her parents company.” Jungkook scoffs, that’s super rich coming from her.

“Okay, I won’t text so much, but I will see you after the weekend okay?”

“Sure.” She uses one hand to wave him off but he still leans over to kiss her cheek.

~~~~~

You still can’t get over just how huge Jin’s house is! You are currently lost trying to find the bathroom again. You open up a door to a bedroom and get reminded of the night you were with Tae. It’s the same room. Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago.

You continue strolling down the hall until you come to the last door—the bathroom.

You use it quickly and head back outside to join the rest of your friends. Jin saved a seat for you next to him and you can’t help but smile.

“Jungkook says you two are heading to your parents this weekend!” Jin exclaims excitedly.

“I wanna meet your parents too!” Hobi whines, “I am great with parents!”

“I’m sure you two will have a lovely time.” Namjoon joins the conversation.

“By the way y/n…” Jin looks awkwardly to the side, “I invited Tae, I know you two are broken up…”

“Oh no, it’s okay. We’re friends.”

At this, Jungkook ears perk up, “Friends? Since when?”

“It just happened like that.” You shrug.

Jin claps his hands together, “Perfect. And then Jimin should be here by now, let me call him.”

Jin takes out his phone and dials for Jimin.

“So, you two are friends now?” Jungkook pries, “Since when?”

“Since a little while ago. You should think about chilling out too.”

“Pshh.”

“Jimin is arriving, let me go let him in, I’ll be right back.” Jin says, standing from his chair.

“So y/n, how’s the job hunting going?” Namjoon asks, his leg crossed over the other as he leans forward to give you his full attention.

“Umm…” you bite your lip, Jungkook goes rigid at his question…knowing this is uncomfortable for you.

“it’s sort of on pause,” you admit, “Yeah, on pause.”

“Oh thank god!” Namjoon laughs, “I thought I was the only one!”

“I told you, you weren’t.” Hobi laughs too, patting Namjoon on the back.

“You too?” you asks, sighing out in relief. “It’s annoying, isn’t it?” you also laugh.

Jungkook visibly relaxes as he watches you chilling and having a good time.

“Look who else is here!” Jin comes back with Jimin, and behind Jimin is Taehyung and also…Yoongi?

“Yoongs?” you give him a confused look before breaking out into a smile.

“Hey everyone, nice to see you all again.” Yoongi gives everyone his gummy smile and a small wave of the hand.

“Yoongi!” Hobi yells out, “I’m so glad Tae brought you!”

You remember them two hitting it off at Jungkook’s birthday party, so you nod in approval.

“Hi Tae, hi Jimin.”

“Hello beautiful.” Jimin comes to you, leans down and hugs you. Taehyung waves at you excitedly.

“Hi Jungkook.” Taehyung offers a greeting quite awkwardly but Jungkook nods his head and smiles,

“Hey man.”

You tilt your head to look at Jungkook, surprise written all over your face as you smile wide at him.

“The gangs all here!” Jin yells out, the happiness evident in his voice. “Let’s start cooking!”

The evening sun is your favorite, the way it sets the sky on fire with its beautiful rays of gold. It gets really chilly, especially at night since it is the middle of November. You stand next to the pool in the backyard when you feel a jacket get draped over your shoulders.

“Hi Jungkook.” You say without looking who it is, somehow you just know.

“Whatcha thinking about?” He asks, coming to your side.

“Life, and everything in it.”

You turn around to get a look at all the guys, Jin and Namjoon at the grill, Yoongi and Hobi discussing something dealing with music, Tae and Jimin playing rock, paper, scissors and Jungkook here at your side. You feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such great friends. These 7 men making it hard to leave.

“I’ve been thinking about teaching English abroad…nothing is set in stone, it’s just an idea. But I kind of like it.”

“Abroad? Like away from here? Away from me?” Jungkook whispers out as he realizes what that means.

“It’s just an idea.”

Jungkook looks at your side profile and smiles, he leans into your side and wraps the jacket even more snug against your body.

“Whatever will make you happy y/n.” he says softly, and you know he means it.

“Let’s go join the other guys.” You say, you grab a hold of Jungkook’s hand and you two walk towards the other boys. They’re loud, rumbunctious and some of your favorite people. You couldn’t feel more at home and at peace.

“Okay, so who wants a sausage? I cooked them perfectly.” Jin shows a plate of meat, showcasing how absolutely perfect they are to everyone.

“Hey, I helped.” Namjoon pouts.

“Yeah, he……….’helped’” Jimin uses air quotes emphasizing ‘help’.

“Hey I did!”

“Moral support barely counts as help dude.” Hobi says, cracking up.

“Fine, nobody eat this hamburger patty,” he points to one single patty. “Because I cooked it.”

“Nobody wants to eat that hamburger patty.” Taehyung teases.

“I’ll eat your hamburger patty.” You chirp.

“Kiss ass.” Yoongi chuckles, walking up next to the grill. “Oh Jin, don’t forget to give me your number later so we can plan that fishing trip.”

“You two are planning a fishing trip?” You eye Yoongi, “I see you’re making friends.”

“Shut up.” He smiles shyly.

“So Jungkook,” Taehyung faces Jungkook and smirks, “Are you nervous about meeting y/n’s parents?”

“Yeah, Jungkookie, are you nervous?” Hobi chips in.

Jungkook’s eyes fall to the ground as he chews on his lips, he scratches the back of his neck and smiles softly.

“Maybe a little.”

“Why?” you ask, leaning into Jungkook’s frame, “Nothing to be nervous about.”

“Are you sure y/n?” Yoongi begins to tease you, “You are their little ‘miracle’ baby.”

“Shut up!” you laugh, “It will be fine, Jungkook. I promise.”

“I’m not too worried.” He says, he looks down at the ground still, his smile growing.

~~~~~~

You wait by your front door with a small suitcase in hand, humming some song. Jungkook should be here at any moment! He said he was on his way after work about 15 minutes ago and you know it shouldn’t take too long.

You cannot wait to see your parents, if you’re honest. You haven’t visited them in almost half a year! What you need is your parent’s loving embrace and also their wise words.

And it is pretty damn exciting you get to finally introduce your best friend to them. It’s a 4 hour drive, so you have a lot to catch Jungkook up on, you know, what your parents are even like up close and personal.

Your phone starts buzzing, and you pull it from you back pocket to see Jungkook sent a text that he has arrived.

“See you, Holly!” you yell out, but she’s in her room with the music on so you doubt she hears you. You think she said Trina is staying over for the weekend, so you know she won’t be lonely without you.

You make your way to Jungkook’s car (he offered to drive to your parents, which you do not mind in the least.) and see him waiting outside of it for you. He’s leaning against the car like a fucking stud. Yes, you just said fucking stud. Because that’s what he looks like. You hate that your god damn vagina reacts first! That bitch is booming as you eye him up and down. His tight jeans, chunky boots and striped sweater are a good look on him. His hair is pushed away from his forehead, split down the middle and he looks so fucking hot.

“Hi.” You call out, joining him at his car.

“Hey there.” He says cooly, grabbing your suitcase from you. He opens the back door and sets it inside next to his, “You ready?” he asks with a smirk.

“Yup” you pop the ‘p’ and smile back at him.

“Okay and my mom is sweet, I swear. But she sort of has no filter. My dad’s really laid back and wont tease as much…probably.” You say, stuffing your mouth with bagged popcorn.

“Probably?” Jungkook chuckles, he reaches for a handful of popcorn himself.

“Meaning he will probably let my mom do all the talking for the most part and he will only make somecomments.”

“What sort of comments should we expect?”

Suddenly, you feel your cheeks flush and you become a little shy.

“I don’t know, figure it out.” You whisper, digging in the bag for more of the snack.

Jungkook laughs at you, he thinks you’re being too cute right now. He turns his head to get a look at you and he smiles.

“Okay baby.”

“And maybe don’t call me ‘baby’ in front of my parents…they will definitely get the wrong idea.”

Jungkook playfully raises a brow at you, “And what idea is that?” he teases but it goes over your head.

“Jungkook.” You groan out, “Use your head.”

“Honestly, I’m just excited to meet your parents.” Jungkook admits happily, “I wish I could have introduced you to mom.”

“…Yeah, I would have liked to have met her. She raised you really well.”

“Honestly, she would have adored you. And…dad would have really liked you too.”

You retreat your hand out of the popcorn bag and wipe your dirty fingers on your jeans, you lick the remainder off.

“What was your mom like?”

At this Jungkook beams, his smile so bright and beautiful.

“Mom was an angel. Want to know the first time I lied to her?” Jungkook asks excitedly, “And how she reacted? It was like a movie.”

“Sure.” You chuckle.

“I was in the 8th grade,” he begins but you cut him off.

“You didn’t lie until 8th grade? That’s hard to believe.”

“I was a really good kid!” he whines. “Anyway, me and two of my buddies made plans to hang out but they wanted to hang out with this group of girls…at a girls house. I didn’t know if I was allowed at a girls house…so I lied and said we were all going to a carnival.” Jungkook starts cracking up as he recalls the memory.

“Mom believed me, gave me $20 for the wrist band to have access to all the rides, you know? Well, one of my friends wasn’t allowed at a girls house so he lied and said he was going to be at a birthday party at my house. Anyway we went to the girls house and all hung out, very innocent, I swear.” He continues laughing, his eyes crinkling.

“Anyway one of the girls mom was dropping me and that buddy off at my house when we see my mom pulling up at the same time while his mom was already parked in front of my house! Oh my god it was awful.”

“Holy hell, then what happened?” you ask.

“Well, we say thanks and get out of the car and he rushes to his moms car and my cousins were outside in my front yard talking to his parents about how there was no birthday party here.”

“And then?”

“My mom asked what was going on? I said my buddy wasn’t allowed at the carnival so we lied. But then my older cousin goes ‘Where’s your wrist band at Jungkook?’ And I wanted to strangle her! How could she out me!!! So I broke down crying to my mom and told her the truth.” He laughs, then he smiles fondly. “She told me it’s okay and that she forgives me. She said it’s not a big deal to hang out at girl’s houses as long as they’re just friends and I should never lie to her again.”

“Wow, an angel indeed.” You smile at Jungkook and he catches it from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah.” He smiles back.

“Where else my mom? She would of kicked my ass.” You laugh out loud and Jungkook joins you.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

It’s a little after 8pm when you finally arrive to your childhood home, it’s nothing fancy or big or tremendous in any shape or form but hey, it’s home.

Jungkook pulls into the driveway and you notice your parents car isn’t here so you pull out your phone and call your mother.

Apparently they went to go pick up dinner for you four, but there’s a bit of a wait so they’ll be home in a little while. You tell her you understand, and remind her you still have a key.

“They’ll be home in a bit, why don’t we go inside and I can show you around?”

“Sounds good.” Jungkook has the car in park, and he’s quick to turn off the ignition. He gets out of the car and opens the back door to grab both of your suitcases.

“Jesus woman, what did you pack?” Jungkook complains.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on.” You usher him inside as you’re opening the front door.

It smells like your moms apple cinnamon candles have been lit up all day, the scent bringing you back to your childhood days. It smells like home, you can’t help but grin as you enter through.

“Let’s start by putting our stuff in our rooms!” you begin walking up the creaky stairs and Jungkook follows you with your bags in hand.

“This is your room,” you open the door to some lousy guest room but the bed is made and it smells nice. Jungkook nods while setting his suitcase down.

“And this…” you walk out and go to the room right next door, “is my room.”

Jungkook eyes go wide as he enters your room, he sees the posters on your walls, your baby pink duvet with a million pillows and the string of fairy lights above your bed and window.

“This is pre college y/n?” he asks, amused.

“Yup.”

“Oh my god, you had a boy band phase?” he touches the many posters on your wall.

“Who said I ever got out of it?” you tease.

Jungkook smiles as he observes your room, walking around slowly like he has all day. His fingers drag across your desk and all the things that occupy its space until he stops when he is touching a journal.

“A diary?” His amusement is out of the roof by now. “Let me read.” He asks with playful, pleading eyes.

“Hell to the no!” you rush to his side and grab the journal. “I don’t know what the fuck is in here.”

“Then it’s fun for both of us!” Jungkook reasons, “Let’s see what was in teenage y/n’s mind.”

“Probably lame stuff, I wasn’t very interesting.”

“I’ll see about that,” he takes the journal back and begins opening the journal and you grumble, trying to object. But in the end you let him open the journal, you wait patiently to be totally embarrassed.

“Okay this is from senior year…” he says, “Ryan wasn’t here today…” Jungkook starts laughing, “I was going to tell him I like him but it’s like the universe doesn’t want me to.” He reads out in a girly voice and you cringe. “Should I just move on?” he mocks.

“Okay, that’s enough!” you try reaching for the journal, your arms getting tangled with Jungkook’s. He can’t stop laughing as you whine out loud, your body bumping into his as your arms continue to battle one another.

“Jungkook!” you cry out, “Seriously?!”

You two continue to wrestle for the journal, spinning around until your feet tangle too much with his and he’s bumping into your bed, he falls over bringing you down with him.

You land on top of Jungkook, settling between his spread legs. The laughing and screaming absolutely stops when you find yourself in this position. Jungkook face is centimeters from yours, your breaths hot and fast and mingling together, he looks into your eyes with a troubled look. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and your eyes can’t help but follow his movement.

“y/n…” he whispers out, still out of breath from playing around.

You look into his eyes again and he’s gone completely dark. His pupils start blowing out and his breaths become harsher.

“Jungkook…” You say lowly, your voice even surprising you. “Oh,” you blink at him when you feel his member hardening against your core.

Jungkook gulps, as if embarrassed. His eyes dart all around the room until they’re back on you.

“Sorry I—”

“I should get up.” You whisper.

Jungkook gulps again, his spit making his Adam’s Apple bob. “Yeah.”

But you don’t move, you continue to lay on top of him, you close your eyes as you feel his dick poking you at your center. You hate yourself but you can’t help the fact that you’re breathing deeper than usual and you really hate yourself when you grind yourself rather gently into Jungkook’s crotch.

And you really hate yourself when you hear Jungkook fucking moan. A real life moan escapes his parted lips. Your eyes shoot open to see his screwed shut. He lightly thrusts upward in response, his strained cock hitting your clit just right that you whimper out. You immediately throw your hand over your mouth and regret everything until Jungkook moans again.

Fuck, what do you do? You want to keep going and you almost do when—

“Honey! We’re home!”

You quickly scramble off Jungkook and stand to your feet. Fuck, your parents are home.

Jungkook awkwardly stands up and tries to adjust his pants so his fucking boner isn’t totally visible. He does not want to meet your parents with a fucking boner. No way in hell. He’s got to think of gross things. Diarrhea. Yeah, he will think of people shitting themselves, that’s pretty gross.

“Coming!” you yell out. You smooth down your clothes and your hair and turn to face Jungkook. “Ready?”

He smiles kind of awkwardly but nods his head yes regardless.

You two exit the bedroom and head down the stairs, your parents waiting at the bottom.

“If it isn’t my pain in the ass?” your mother’s jolly laugh fills the room as she goes in to embrace you.

“Hi mom.” You say into her neck, you can smell her sweet perfume and it reminds you of home times a million.

“You mean your miracle baby! Our miracle baby!” your dad chimes in gleefully, going in to hug both you and your mom.

“It’s a miracle she hasn’t killed me yet.” Your mother comments playfully, “Going a whole half year without seeing her mother?”

“It has been since May hasn’t it?” Your dad asks. “Too long.”

“And you must be Jungkook! The boy our daughter ditched us for on Christmas!” your mom pushes you to the side and goes in to hug Jungkook.

He stumbles back in surprise, but wraps his arms around your mother with his bunny grin plastered on his face.

“That’s me.” He laughs.

“Next time, just come here for Christmas, okay?” Your mom pouts playfully.

“Now, that’s not a bad idea.” Your father cuts in, extending his hand out for Jungkook to shake.

“Nice to meet you Mr.y/L/n.” Jungkook goes in to shake his hand with a firm hold, “and of course you too Mrs.y/L/n. “ Jungkook smiles in her direction.

“My goodness,” your mother swoons, “You’re so handsome!” then she turns to you, “He’s so handsome y/n. How haven’t you snagged him yet?”

“You two aren’t already a couple?” your father adds in.

“Mom! Dad! No!” you run a hand through your hair, “I told you already a million times on the phone, we are friends. Best friends.”

“That’s too bad…” your mom says, “I would like him for a son in law.”

“Yes, it’s too bad.” Your dad continues where she is going, “He’s got a firm handshake.”

“You guys don’t even know him.” you deadpan.

Jungkook only chuckles as he watches you interact with your parents. He wishes he had this kind of relationship with his parents but he’s glad you do.

“Are you guys ready for dinner or what?” Your mom picks up the bag of food off the entry way table and brings it to her nose, “Smells delicious.” She sings with a smile.

“Lets eat honey.” Your dad gestures your mom to the kitchen and then gives you and Jungkook a wink. “Come on kids.”

You didn’t know coming home would feel this good. Just being in the same room as your parents makes you feel whole again. Talking on the phone every week just isn’t enough.

You and Jungkook set up the table as your parents start taking the food out of the bag, they place it in the center of the table and your greedy little hands can’t help but pick at the side dishes.

“Hungry?” Jungkook teases.

“Starved.” You respond.

“Well, let’s all sit down and dig in!” Your father pulls out a chair for your mother so she can sit, ever the gentleman.

The food is delicious. You really wanted your moms home cooking but she promised you that’s for tomorrow night. You eat to your hearts content, getting so full. You’re not just full of food but full of your parents love and joy. Jungkook laughs along to your mom and dad’s stories and even shares some of his own. You guys talked about your group of friends and how you’re each others support systems.

Your parents are ecstatic to hear you have such great friends where you live, they even promise to go visit you soon so they can happily meet everyone. You agree wholeheartedly and stuff your face with more food. The night goes on like this for quite some time, everyone yawning but no one wanting to go to sleep.

“Let’s clean up and take this party to the living room.” Your mom suggests.

“I’ll clean up mom.”

“Me too.” Jungkook offers as well.

“Good kids.” Your dad says with a chuckle and heads to his designated spot (The recliner in the living room.)

“Are you having fun?” You ask Jungkook once your parents are out of the kitchen.

“I’m having a really nice time y/n.” Jungkook blushes as he answers, he fucking blushes and you feel the heat creep up your cheeks as well.

“I told you, you had nothing to be nervous about.”

“I’m still nervous, to be honest. But it feels nice actually.” He admit, his blush only deepening.

You two reach for the drying towel at the same time, your fingers brushing against his and you feel a spark of electricity.

“Sorry.” You sputter out, “You take it.”

“Okay…” Jungkook feels his face get even more red, just brushing fingers with you making him feel hot and dizzy.

“I think it’s clean enough,” you wipe your hands dry on your jeans, “Let’s go.”

The living room is as cozy as you have always remembered it to be. The recliner that your dad always falls asleep in is in the same spot as always, the two love seats taking one corner of the room and the TV on the center of the back wall. You decide to sit next to your mom on one of the love seats, you immediately drop your head on to her shoulder and breathe her in.

“What’s wrong my miracle?” she asks softly. “What’s going on?”

You suck in a sharp breath and start sniffling. Yup, you have decided on being a baby.

“I—” Your eyes immediately water and you give your mom a pathetic look, “I don’t know what I am doing with my life.”

Jungkook watches you and he frowns, he wishes he had all the answers for you.

“Oh baby,” your mom cradles your head, “I’m an old woman and even I have thoughts like that.” She laughs. “You’re going to figure it out, even if it’s not right now.”

“How do you know?” you look up at her with snot running down your nose.

“Do you remember when you were in high school you went from being in the drama club to the art club to the debate team to the…god, who knows what? You just kept jumping from one thing to another but then you finally found what you liked. Which was, swimming right?” She rubs your back soothingly, “It just takes time.” She says, “Maybe right now you’re just in the ‘art club’ part of your life. You still need to experience other clubs and teams until you find your swimming.”

“Mom…” you cry, “Thank you.”

“Your mother is right,” your dad decides to jump in “And whatever you decide we will be there cheering you on.”

Jungkook feels his heart swell. Watching you with your parents has been nothing but an amazing experience so far. He doesn’t feel bitter that he didn’t have this sort of relationship, instead he wishes he could have it even with someone like your parents.

“Now go sit with your bestie, he looks lonely over there by himself on the other couch.” Your mom scolds you lightly. You hug her tightly before letting go and walking to where Jungkook is.

You sit right next to him, not leaving any space—your knees and shoulders rubbing against one another quite innocently.

“So Jungkook,” Your father begins, “tell us about your family.”

You feel yourself go tense at the mention of Jungkook’s family. What will he say? Or will he say anything at all? “Mom’s not with us anymore.” He smiles softly, “And I don’t talk to my dad.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” your mom places a hand over her heart.

“Sorry to hear about that, son.” Your dad shares a look of pity with your mom.

Jungkook on the other hand lights up when he hears your dad call him ‘son’.

“It’s okay.” Jungkook smiles, “I have y/n and Jimin and the rest of the guys.”

“And you have us too, sweetie.” Your mom cuts in. “We were serious about Christmas, why don’t you two come here?”

“Mom—”

“I’d like that.” Jungkook looks at your for approval, “It sounds nice, right y/n?”

You feel your heart begin to glow.

“Yeah.” You yawn out. “It does.” You lay your head on his shoulder and he wraps an arm around your waist. You miss the way your parents share a knowing look as they watch you two.

“We weren’t supposed to have any children…” Your mom starts to say, “She really was our little miracle.” She comes down into a whisper as she notices you starting to doze off.

“She’s our pride and joy.” Your father beams.

“I’m glad she isn’t lonely. Growing up, we were so worried she would become a lonely only child, but she had lots of cousins thankfully and she always had it easy when making friends.” Your mother smiles as she recalls little you.

“She’s so special, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook looks down at your sleeping face, he smiles shyly and caresses your cheek. “She is.”

Your parents share another knowing look and grin.

“When did you realize she was so special?” your father crosses a leg over the other.

“About the time she ditched you guys for me.” Jungkook’s looks at them and smiles cheekily.

Your mother and father laugh loudly, waking you from your quick nap.

“What’s so funny?” you ask groggily, you kind of drooled on yourself and Jungkook’s shoulder. You wipe at the corner of your mouth and mutter an apology to Jungkook for wetting his shirt. He only giggles at you and pats your head.

“Maybe you two should head to bed for some rest, hm?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

You and Jungkook agree with your parents, standing from your place on the love seat and say your goodnight’s.

“Goodnight sweetie.” Your dad goes in to hug you, “Sleep well.”

“Night dad, night mom.”

“Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. y/l/n.”

“Night kiddos.”

Jungkook follows you up the stairs as he enters deep thought mode. He has only spent one day with you and your parents but he feels like he has fallen in love all over again. His love for you deepening by the minute, the way it blossoms like a beautiful, enchanted flower. The petals are bright, colorful and full of life. Nothing, he means nothing can shrivel up this rose. It is enchanted after all.

You stand outside your door, waiting for Jungkook to finish his journey up the stairs. When he finally makes it to the top he walks to you, standing outside your bedroom door.

“Goodnight Jungkook.” You whisper out, a blush painting itself on your cheeks.

“Tonight was nice.” He says instead of ‘goodnight’.

“Yeah, I think my parents like you a lot.”

“And I like them a lot. I felt…so…at home.” He admits, his soft breath hitting your lips and you breathe out heavily.

“I’m glad.”

“I like you when you’re with your parents.”

“You like me?” You tease, and Jungkook goes as red as a fucking tomato.

“Like, like—”

“Chill, I know what you mean.”

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck and huffs out, “Right.”

“I like you around my parents too.” You lean back on the bedroom door, and Jungkook steps closer to you.

“You like me?” he teases back and you blush even harder.

“I just mean, it’s cute seeing you nervous and flustered for once.” You say.

“I’m cute?” Jungkook takes another step towards you, backing you even further into the door.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I though?” he leans his head towards your face, his lips hovering over your left ear and he whispers…

“I won’t tell anyone you find me cute y/n.” he continues his teasing. He leans back and watches as your face goes unbelievably red.

“Shush.” You push his hard chest back and he darkly chuckles. “It’s not like you don’t find me cute as well.”

“Oh baby, I find you very, very cute” he leans in again and you scoff, giggling to yourself.

Jungkook chuckles as well, he feels himself growing hotter by the second, he pushes you back more into the door and he reaches for the doorknob and opens it, but catches you from falling inside.

“Let’s go inside.” He says lowly. “Wanna keep being with you.”

“Jungkook,” you whine, “I’m sleepy.”

“I can watch you sleep.” He teases and you cringe.

“That’s creepy!” you laugh, you two set foot inside the room and you close the door behind you guys. “But maybe we can chat for a little bit.”

“Hey!” Jungkook juts his lip out, “It’s not creepy, I just really—” love you, he wants to say. But he doesn’t have the courage but god, Jimin is right. When will he have the courage?

“Really what?” you ask innocently.

“It’s nothing.” He says. “Anyway, let’s sit.” He plops his fine ass on the edge of your childhood bed—a twin bed. You sit down next to him and you lean back until your back is laying against the soft mattress. Jungkook follows you, laying down as well.

“Thanks for making me feel like I’m a part of your family y/n.”

“You are a part of my family Jungkook.” You whisper to him and he flips on his side to get a look at your face.

“Your parents are awesome.” He chuckles.

You playfully roll your eyes and smile, “Yeah, they’re something.”

“They want you to bring home a boyfriend.”

“Too bad all they got is you.”

“Yeah, too bad.” Jungkook grins at you, he lifts his hand to your face and caresses your cheek. “You’re so pretty. I wasn’t lying…I do find you very, very cute” he says softly and you fucking melt. You sigh out and he leans in closer, you aren’t entirely sure but it feels like he’s about to kiss you.

He leans in so close until he’s raising his face just a bit and he kisses the top of your forehead.

“I think I’ll go to bed now.” He whispers.

“Wait—” You grab on to the material of his sweater, accidentally bringing him too close to you, his mouth bumping into yours.

You immediately begin to panic, your eyes shoot to Jungkook’s and he looks as surprised as you. He is silent for far too many moments until his eyes crinkle and he’s laughing, his bunny teeth on full display.

“Oops.” He says, still laughing.

“I am so sorry, oh my god.” You get up slightly, leaning on your elbows. “That was an accident.”

“Well,” Jungkook brings his fingers to his lips, “It’s not the worst thing that could happen.” He says, his shy tone making you melt all over again.

“Sorry again, wow.”

Jungkook stands from the bed and you follow his lead, walking him towards the bedroom door.

“Goodnight Jungkook.”

This is it. The moment Jimin was talking about. A moment where he can have courage.

“y/n…I just…can I tell you something…?”

“What is it?” you raise a curious brow.

Jungkook looks into your eyes for several moments, taking long, deep breaths.

“I love you.” He finally admits, after years of keeping that to himself he finally told you he loves you. He loves you with all his fucking heart, he loves you more than anyone else in his entire life. He loves you. This? This is courage.

“Huh? I love you too, JK.” You give him a weird look and laugh. “Goodnight.” And you shut the door.

“No, I…”

Was he not clear?

“I love you y/n…” he whispers to himself, “Like, really really love you.” He says to no one but the ghosts that haunt this house.

“Goodnight y/n.”

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

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